#dynamic / lemony & jacques

[when-we-drive-away-in-secret]

ASOUE Dynamic Playlists

You can find the list of character playlists here

Unfortunate Gen

The Firefighters

The Firestarters

Olaf/Esmé

Beatrice/Bertrand

Kit/Olaf

Lemony/Beatrice

Olaf/Georgina

Beatrice/Esmé

Georgina/Esmé

Olaf & Beatrice

Kit/Beatrice

Esmé/Kit

Jacques/Olivia (Show!Verse)

Esmé/Olivia (Show!Verse)

Jacques/Esmé

Beatrice & Jerome

I am constantly editing/changing these, most of them aren't really in a coherent order yet and some of them are currently ridiculously short because I haven't really found the right niche of songs for their dynamic yet, but here you go ^.^ (also I will be making and linking a masterpost for each one explaining why I chose all the songs, but if anyone ever has any song recommendations or wants to know about a specific song that's already on there, feel free to send me an ask!)

[afterthegreatunknown]

Hi! 👋 What are some of your favourite asoue fics/fics you recommend? :)

I'm glad you ask :D!

Awhile back, I made this post awhile back of fanfictions from the old days of the ASOUE Fandom (think Fanfiction Net days). All of them my favorites, but if I have to just link the fics I really recommend you to read first, it would be Fernald's Folly and Hypothetical Situation. Very good fics to see the siblings dynamic/relationship of Fernald and Fiona, and Jacques and Lemony Snicket. I'm a sucker for siblings content, and these two fics deliver, especially the latter.

For fics I recommend on AO3, anything in my bookmarks is a good read! But again, if I have to just link the fics I really recommend you to read, it's On Coffee, Nightmares, and Reasons to Live by gellavonhamster (who also has a tumblr), The Ones that Slipped Away by maybesomeotherday, unofficial chaperone by tangentially (who has a tumblr, with her asoue/atwq sideblog being beatricebidelaire), and the newest one I just read awhile back, How many mirrors did you have to crack for luck like that? by Socks_2789.

On Coffee, Nightmares, and Reasons to Live is a good fic focusing on Hector and Captain Widdershins after they and the Quagmires and Fernald and Fiona survived the Great Unknown. Hector is my favorite adult/SBG character. Widdershins not so much but I am fascinated by the guy. This fic is my favorites of the favorites due to how gellavonhamster writes them in a post-canon life, as well as how they interact with one another (I love it when two people with opposite personalities clash with one another).

The One that Slipped Away is actually part of a series by maybesomeotherday for Angstpril 2022, and honestly speaking, the fics they wrote for Angstpril 2022 are all great (read them if you have a chance. I think you'll find a few favorites of your own). But this fic stands for me to bookmark because on how it focuses on Sunny, and something fandom discuss about her: does Sunny loses her memories of the unfortunate events?

unofficial chaperone is legit a good fic for anyone who loves the Jacques Snicket and Quigley Quagmire not quite chaperone-apprenticeship relationship that is mention in TSS. And if you want good content of their relationship, I highly recommend looking through the 'jacques quigley pseudo apprenticeship tag' on beatricebidelaire's blog; a very good tag to fill that craving.

How many mirrors did you have to crack for luck like that? is honestly speaking my favorite Quiglet fanfic at the moment right now. I won't explain more, because I will likely spoil the whole thing. It's an experience that you need go through beginning to end.

I hope you have some very fun reading, anon!

[beatricebidelaire]

jacques vs geraldine

lemony vs geraldine

geraldine vs snicket brothers are truly so funny. J and G will write articles that are just stating opposite things. meanwhile L will say "despite geraldine's article saying this thing i have reason to believe that the opposite is true".

but actually it would be inaccurate to say what G says is the exact opposite of what the snicket brothers are saying. in fact when snicket brothers say something like 'XXXX', geraldine doesn't say 'XXXX is not true'. what she actually says is 'XXXX is not true, says the official fire department'. in both such cases she was quoting the official fire department. which means that it's actually the official fire department whose statement is the opposite of the snicket brothers. that is, if geraldine julienne is to be believed. which admittedly could be a big if.

is geraldine ofd's mouthpiece, is she on their payroll in some way? is she just dutifully reporting what she heard? did ofd actually say that? or is her job instruction simply to write article saying ofd said something if her colleague jacques snicket just wrote something that's the exact opposite?

theories aside i just think geraldine vs snicket brothers dynamic very funny. i want to see them all in the same office.

[littlestsnicket]

Hi! I'm really late to the ASOUE fandom, so I'm happy that there are still some great fanblogs around. I loved reading through yours. I wanted to ask what you think of the Netflix series and the movie in relation to the novels. Apologies if you've already answered this question!

Also (and slightly related) do you have any Jacques Snicket headcanons for the book or the Netflix character? I never really noticed him in the novels but I loved him (probably Nathan Fillion) in the show.

Thank you <3

welcome to asoue fandom! i’ve been a fan of these books since they were first published and didn’t get involved in fandom until after the netflix series had finished, so it’s never to late, and i’m glad you enjoyed my blog!

i have talked about my thoughts on the netflix adaptation (i forget which tag i used, i was trying to use a consistent one for that at some point…), but i love talking about adaptations and how they work and i’m always happy to talk about it some more!

i saw the movie when it came out, and i don’t remember feeling very strongly about it one way or another, which says something because 2004 would be around the peak of me obsessively rereading the books so i should have cared a lot. i mostly remember really liking violet’s costume in an objective, aesthetic sense and also feeling it was deeply deeply wrong for the tone of the books/how things looked in my head. i’ve only rewatched it once since then with lemony snicket’s commentary track, which is just absolutely delightful, so i’m afraid i don’t have much to say about it.

i think the netflix show is a good adaptation with some things i will go to my grave mad about. i love the visuals, it’s the exact right amount of fantastical and timeless. it’s the right amount of funny while still having moments of intense seriousness. i love the musical numbers in season 2. i love what they did to change the vibe of this being a tv show so it shouldn’t exist in a world driven by books like the books do. i love the addition of the recurring adult characters.

since you asked about jacques snicket, i really love how they re-conceived that character to be a suave, james bond-y, spy type. i think it serves the rest of the changes they made really well. i enjoy his relationship with olivia and larry the waiter. i love the dynamic he has with olaf. i will die mad that they didn’t give him a unibrow. we deserve otherwise conventionally attractive jacques snicket with a unibrow. it’s thematically important damn it!

book!jacques snicket, who we only really get to know through his letters in the unauthorized autobiography and quigley’s memories, will always be the jacques snicket of my heart, but i can love both.

also still mad about the opera night. it is absolutely thematically critical that the viewer not know what happened, and what you gain isn’t enough to offset that. also wish we had gotten more morally grayness from vfd. i really love how the organization is introduced in season 1 and 2, but it never got to evolve into being about how kind, well meaning people can do horrible things either because of their own flaws or because of intractable circumstances, and we all have to live with that because it’s part of the human condition.

i don’t have any netflix!jacques head canon, except that in the fictional version of the show that i got to have input in, olivia learns that he’s done really difficult to rationalize things from the snicket file and that puts her in a much more similar to book!olivia’s mindset when the baudelaire’s meet her at the carnival.

i have lots of book!jacques head canons. i think i’ve talked about most of them before but these are my favorite: 1, jacques looks almost exactly like lemony but is several inches shorter and 2, jacques is the least committed to vfd of his siblings, and he will always put the safety of the people he loves (but especially lemony) over the greater good.

[eyesteeth]

ok fuck it au plot dump. incredibly major atwq spoilers & incredibly minor asoue spoilers. long post.

teen ghost hunt au, not to be confused with two ghosts au, another crazily elaborate asoue/atwq au i have. characters are color coded and there are game-like elements. this is an oxenfree adjacent au - there's no time shenanigans in this, nor does it remotely attempt at following the plot beat for beat - but it was v much an inspiration. our absolutely massive cast of characters are:

Lemony (Dark blue)

Kit (Red)

Jacques (Brown)

Beatrice (Green, vibrant)

Olaf (Purple)

Esme (Pink)

Frank (Blue)

Ernest (Yellow)

and, appearing as ghosts:

Dewey (Green, desaturated)

Qwerty (White)

Hangfire (Black)

The Countess (Gray)

vfd does not exist in this au. it's also in semi-modern time, sometime around the 2010s - no pandemic but they have cellphones and rockin fashion. the sugar bowl gen side of the cast are teens, ranging from 13 to 16, and they all attend the same boarding school, Prufrock. they all decide to sneak out one night and head to the abandoned town of Stain'd by the Sea, camping gear in tow, with the intent of spending the weekend there and coming back to campus without anyone noticing their disappearance.

the whole event is planned by olaf, who super believes in ghosts and wants to convince the group. (he specifically wants to talk to the ghost of his mother, but he does not tell them this up front.) while he initially plans to just bring kit, esme, ernest, and beatrice, they keep inviting other people to come with, and eventually olaf relents and allows the quite massive group to come with - but if they get found out, it's every man for himself. the group's opinion on ghosts varies, but most of them sit somewhere in the middle on whether or not ghosts are real.

for the hell of it, here's the ranking from believes the most to most skeptical:

olaf

ernest

frank

jacques

kit

beatrice

esme

(lemony would be asked at some point early in the game where he falls on the issue, and his ranking would be up to player choice within reason)

the gang takes the train, but the train only takes them so far. after that, they follow the train tracks on foot until they reach the town. this is where some of the game-like elements come into play - lemony takes the role of the player character and so different people can be interacted with. this is basically just to have fun with writing different character dynamics and would indicate who favors who in what way. various gags and funny comments abound - for example, bertrand also wanted to come with, but that was apparently the final straw and so he was not allowed to come.

eventually they reach stain'd. because he was born here and organized the event, olaf insists on being the group leader, but everyone's so annoyed by his drama king leadership up to this point that they elect someone else to take over. this would be another choice affected by lemony/the player. once that's decided, the gang splits into three groups: kit and jacques, beatrice olaf and esme, and the denouements. lemony/the player would then get to choose what group they wanted to be a part of. if they chose the group of three, they'd be responsible for putting one of the three in one of the other two groups.

the groups are then tasked with finding different things necessary for the stay, such as a safe place to sleep for the night or a food source in case they run out. this is also to keep them occupied until nightfall, which is when the seance is gonna go down. there's more conversation, character exploration, and backstory here. i have ideas on dialogue trees but i'm not gonna type all that out here.

everyone finds what they need to find and night falls. they all go to the big house, at which point investigation reveals that it is indeed olaf's childhood home. he pulls out a frankly ludicrous amount of ghost communication materials, ranging from a spirit box to a 12-pack of scented candles to an oujia board. there's also a lighter. the lighter will be important. he does a series of activities and characters respond with varying levels of enthusiasm. esme, being the most skeptical of the group, is not engaged while everyone else is at least humoring the shenanigans. on the other side of the spectrum, ernest is incredibly engaged and helps out when a second hand is needed.

the methods do not seem to work, and just as everyone's like "well, we can at least have a big sleepover", something finally clicks, and the ghost appears in front of everyone. while olaf gets to have a sweet moment, the focus is largely on Holy Shit A Real Ghost and the other characters freaking out about it. conversations are had and eventually the gang goes to set up their place of rest for the night without olaf, who has a lot to talk to his mom about.

it's hard for them to go to bed right away - esme, beatrice, and kit have their own little corner where they're rapidly discussing their thoughts on the whole matter, while jacques, frank, and ernest are having their own discussion. lemony can peek into either one and have different dialogue depending on wether or not he previously said he believes in ghosts. the groups' conversations begin to wind down, and eventually they all start saying their goodnights. lemony is the last to fall asleep (minus olaf, who is still talking with his mom in the house).

lemony has a nightmare. he's walking along the train tracks back to school alone. he's not dressed in any of the clothes he brought. as he walks along the tracks, the atmosphere gets darker and more ominous. a dark fog begins to waft in. eventually, lemony stops. there is a body dead on the tracks, the fog seemingly avoiding it, making it clearly visible. then, a black figure wearing a white mask emerges from the fog. a sound like a ragged inhale, a brief glitchy effect, and the nightmare ends.

so lemony wakes up in a cold sweat and sees everyone else up and moving. none of them has slept well, but some obviously slept for 6 hours while others obviously slept for 2. the gang comes together to have a brunch of granola bars and water, and they then figure they can do some good old fashioned urban exploring.

once again this is a group choosing + character talking moment. this au is mostly playing with potential character dynamics, to be honest. and i do have thoughts i just cannot succinctly type them all down at what is now 3:30 am.

to speed things up, after exploring, the gang comes together to share what they saw, take a nap if necessary, and have an early dinner together, before deciding to head back to campus. everything gets packed up and everyone leaves feeling changed by the experience. there's a happy tone as they all leave, and they start playing i spy as they walk next to the tracks. because the sun's starting to go down, a lot of the things people name just end up being the sunset.

however, eventually someone calls out "something black", which is clearly a lump on the tracks a way forwards. as the group proceeds, they begin to get more and more uncomfortable as the lump gets clearer - it's a body on the tracks.

once they realize this, they all go into panic mode, them thinking through first aid and seeing if this is someone slumped over from exertion. there is no blood or visible wounds and his body is completely intact. lemony is rightly freaked during this due to his nightmare, keeping his distance from the body. he hears his heartbeat in his ears more than he hears anyone else.

suddenly, a command snaps through - there's something in his bag they need if they're to help the man. everyone turns to look at lemony, who is clearly close to a panic attack, and the moment it's just lemony facing the body, it begins to do the Freaky Ghost Classic of rigidly snapping itself upright and then hovering a foot off the ground. somehow (wink) frank and ernest notice this and turn around, causing everyone else to look up at the figure. spooky black fog begins to roll in and everyone is in shock watching this guy levitate. wordlessly, he points behind the group.

they all turn and get jumpscared by the fucking train that's now barrelling down the track, a train that very much was not there before. because they had all crowded onto the track to help the figure, they have to dive left or right. there is a timed choice for which way you dive. whichever way you jump, the party has now been split.

as lemony and everyone else roll into the grass, they see the train wooshing by, jet black, with the lights inside windows smearing together into a near-blinding array. when the train has passed, the floating figure is gone, and so are the other half of the group.

part two coming tomorrow, it is 4am and i can physically feel my eyes straining to stay open

the rate at which i can mentally churn out an entire au plot is both a blessing and a curse because i now have a super cool idea that would take me literal weeks to fully write out. and i popped it out in 24 hours. bazinga

[snckt]

i miss my brother. i miss my sister.

@asouefanworkevent day one of woevember : the sugar bowl gen siblings, or alternatively titled,   the snickets.

[lesbian-in-leather]

Esmé loses her voice. Georgina’s feelings. lazy mornings, interrupted. 👀👀

Ah! Excellent choices!!! (Here is the link to the title list in case anyone wants to send more)

Esmé Loses Her Voice

Okay so I do genuinely love this concept BUT also I don't think it'll ever get finished. It was in fact this very fic that make me realise I am apparently incapable of writing fun / silly stories because the entire concept was just "Esmé loses her voice and, being Esmé, makes it everyone else's problem" with a healthy helping of Eswell content for the funsies. And yet. I could barely exceed 250 words. I just- I don't know how to go on from here. So the snippet below the cut is literally everything I've got

P.S. if anyone can teach me how to write silly stories, I would be immensely and eternally grateful. I think they're so neat

Georgina's Feelings

Another Eswell one!! I started this months ago and honestly completely forgot about it until writing out that title list, but I do genuinely want to finish it because it's FUN. Basically, Esmé and Georgina have an established arrangement, and the entire fic is just Georgina resolutely Not Having Romantic Feelings for Esmé despite... the obvious. Very fun times. The snippet for this one is also everything I've got, but it's split into two sections - a paragraph from very near the start, and the ending of the whole thing (separated by one of these — bad boys for ease of reading)

Lazy Mornings, Interrupted

I would like to say that I am very impressed that, in a list of 20 titles, you managed to pick the three shortest WIPs in my collection, by quite a significant margin. I know I've already answered some of the others, but still. Anyway, once again this one has barely anything to it at the moment, though I do thoroughly intend to finish it, and the snippet is once again literally everything I have so far. This is the one and only Jacquesmé fic I've ever attempted (though I do want to write more of them, because their dynamic fascinates me), and the snippet I've included is from towards the end of the fic. Basically, Jacques and Esmé have been casually seeing each other for some time, but have hidden it from the rest of the sugar bowl gen because, even though the schism hasn't officially happened yet, tensions are rising between the two future-sides. Also Esmé and Lemony have always hated each other, and her dating his brother would cause unnecessary drama. However, this fic takes place when Lemony comes back to the shared Snicket apartment one morning when he and Kit were both supposed to be away, and Esmé has spent the night. He almost catches her there, and after he leaves, she and Jacques have a conversation about the future of their relationship, ending with the snippet below the cut (though I would still like to add some more to the end of it as well just to round out the fic better. If I ever do finish it, that is)

Esmé Loses Her Voice:

Esmé was pouting. This wasn’t at all an unusual occurrence in and of itself; in fact, it was her go-to expression of displeasure. What was unusual was that she’d been pouting silently, for the last forty-five minutes – something that was entirely out of character, and entirely out of her control if she wanted to have her voice back for the imminent auction she’d been asked to not only attend, but to host. Something Georgina had been hearing about, non-stop, for the last six months.

Safe to say, this weekend had promised a welcome break.

Until Esmé had actually arrived, of course. Georgina often insisted that she despised her lover’s endless chatter, rolling her eyes and feigning disinterest – but she was well aware that it was, at least in part, an act. The truth was, Esmé’s voice could make anything sound interesting, no matter how tedious the topic, and Georgina was rapidly discovering just how silent her home could be in the absence of that strangely entrancing voice. When she was alone, she relished the silence. But somehow, knowing Esmé was present and wanted to talk made it feel almost… oppressive.

She looked up from her desk and found that Esmé’s pout was now directed at her, and entirely failed to stifle her smile (mostly because she didn’t actually try to). For a woman that could strike fear and awe into the hearts of half the City, she shouldn’t have been able to look so… well. So adorable.

“Yes, sweetheart? Did you say something?” the pout turned into a full blown glare, and Georgina laughed.

Georgina's Feelings:

Georgina swirled the rather unnatural-looking cocktail in her glass and watched as it sparkled in the orange-tinted lights of the ballroom, pointedly refusing to look up when Esmé’s laugh cut through the general murmur of music and conversation. Her ears, however, were clearly not as well trained as her other senses, and focused in on the sound of her lover’s voice, headless of the distance between them. Her mind conjured up melodic comparisons, conjuring quotes from half-forgotten poems she’d read in her youth. I love to hear her speak, yet well I know her mind began, unbidden, reciting a sonnet she had been particularly enamoured with as a young girl, that music hath a far more pleasing sound. She realised Esmé was looking at her before she could draw the next line out of her hazy memory – and around the same time her mind finally registered that she was looking at Esmé. And had been for some time, judging by the self-satisfied smile playing across the other woman’s lips. This is why you don’t drink at parties. She chastised herself for her lack of self-control, even as she allowed her eyes to wander over Esmé’s body, barely concealed by her dress. Perhaps there are some advantages to these parties, she mused.

—

Georgina had always thought ‘love’ to be a ridiculous word, and a pointless emotion. Love is what makes the strong weak and the intelligent foolish. Love is what inspires rash decisions and impossible promises. Love is how other people get to you, creating a crack in Georgina’s otherwise ironclad defences. Love is what she has spent a great deal of her life avoiding, crushing into a tiny metaphorical bottle and tucking away deep in the recesses of her heart. Love is an emotion for lesser people, she is certain. So what she feels for Esmé Squalor is not love.

It can’t be.

Lazy Mornings, Interrupted:

“Mmm… well, luckily, I happen to be very,” she squeezed her thighs around his hips, rocking against him once to emphasise the word, and his knuckles whitened as he gripped her waist even tighter, “close with the fashion columnist for The Daily Punctilio, and I have it on very good authority that he’s planning on taking his incredibly stylish girlfriend to that exact location this very evening.”

“Girlfriend?”

“That’s what I’ve heard.” Her voice was deliberately neutral and she shrugged one shoulder as she said it, the picture of a casual statement. Even if it was the first time either of them had defined their relationship – and he really could call it a relationship now, because the infamously commitment-avoidant Esmé Squalor had deigned to describe herself as his girlfriend.

Jacques couldn’t contain his smile, even as he tried to play along with her game. “And I’m sure, since he’s taking his stylish and beautiful girlfriend,” and he was almost certain he wasn’t imagining the way she relaxed a little against him as he said it, or just how natural the word felt on his tongue, “to this restaurant, it should be appearing in this morning’s edition of his column, just so everyone else in the City is caught up with just how In it is, yes?”

“Precisely.”

[lemonysnidget]

Barry Sonnenfeld didn't understand any of the Snicket siblings except Lemony. Patrick Warburton is great as Lemony, and I loved Nathan Fillion as Jacques, but the book Snickets are shells of their former selves(at least I see them like that). I mean Jacques cried when arrested for Olaf's (fake)murder, which made him look more suspicious than he was. Netflix Jacques could break himself out of prison, he's actually competent compared to the book. What do you think? Suave cool Jacques I find weird.

I was about to type, “well, it’s hard to screw up Lemony” but then I remembered that the movie existed, and that’s not exactly a great Lemony, so now I have to at least give Barry Sonnenfeld credit for that. But honestly, I think that’s mostly on Patrick Warburton. He’s just so great as Lemony. His delivery is perfect. I now want him to narrate my life. 

As for the rest of the two Snickets... yeah, they’re not consistent with canon. “Sporty” Kit is Barry’s fantasy and has no resemblance to book Kit, and frankly is really effing insulting. I don’t think it’s any coincidence that Handler had little involvement in the series starting around the time that Kit was getting introduced. I’ve talked a lot about what I think of show Kit before, so I’ll focus the rest of my discussion on Jacques.

Show Jacques has little resemblance to book Jacques, but he does add some interesting flavor to the show, and his subplot is entertaining. It’s not the worst choice for making a TV show, and it makes his death have more emotion, something that is fuel for good drama. I liked Olivia and Jacques’ dynamic on the show. Definitely a nice adaptive choice. 

That being said, Show Jacques isn’t Jacques Snicket in the books. Jacques Snicket is someone who looks and appears enough like Olaf that even the Baudelaires think he’s Olaf for a moment. That implies quite a lot about him. He’s also a bit of a loner, so him teaming up with Olivia (who might even be his first cousin!) is kinda not in character based on what little we know. Jacques also isn’t some kind of charming, super capable agent. That just isn’t consistent with what little we know of him. Jacques is the most elusive and mysterious of the Snicket siblings. He is in only a couple of chapters in one book, and gets mentioned elsewhere. 

The difference between adapting Jacques and adapting Kit is that Jacques had very little material to start with, he wasn’t discussed in really sexist/creepy tones, he wasn’t overhauled to the point that his only resemblance to the book character was his name, etc. Jacques’ age wasn’t changed because Barry wanted to cast an actor he thought was attractive. Fleshing out Jacques was a good decision. What Barry did to Kit was strip everything away from her that made her interesting and just made a character he’d want to sleep with because he found the actress attractive. That’s gross. I won’t ever get over it. 

[alfuncoots]

thoughts on olaf’s and jacques’ dynamic growing up?

they always looked a LOT like one another - jacques was simply the well presented, fashionable and cleanly version of olaf. both thin and tall and pointy with monobrows and middle partings. i think jacques always had a soft spot for olaf when they were all still allies, unlike lemony. maybe it was because his sister cared for the guy. i think jacques was very smart and quiet, and often repressing laughter at olaf’s theatrics or ridiculous claims. on olaf’s side, the guy is vain enough to genuinely like jacques based purely on the superficial fact that he looked like him. that, and he was a snicket. olaf had a knack for falling in with snickets, even if the feelings weren’t wholly positive. 

[gellavonhamster]

kit/esme, jacques/jerome, lemony/bertrand

Kit/Esme:

Squick / Just nope / A trainwreck you can’t look away from / Mehh but they are bloody everywhere / Not interested but no negative feelings / BroTP / Cute / I love them / They rented a room in my mind and are here to stay

I am not opposed to the idea (for some reason, Snicketverse is one of those fandoms for me, in which almost each and every f/f ship seems plausible and potentially interesting), and I’ve read some great fanfiction and headcanons about them, but I am not interested in this ship enough to deliberately look for or, all the more, to create content for them. 

Jacques/Jerome:

Squick / Just nope / A trainwreck you can’t look away from / Mehh but they are bloody everywhere / Not interested but no negative feelings / BroTP / Cute / I love them / They rented a room in my mind and are here to stay

Not my main OTP but definitely canon in my head and heart. I love reading about them, even though I know that it can only end in tragedy.

Lemony/Bertrand:

Squick / Just nope / A trainwreck you can’t look away from / Mehh but they are bloody everywhere / Not interested but no negative feelings / BroTP / Cute / I love them / They rented a room in my mind and are here to stay

I mostly ship them within the Lemony/Bertrand/Beatrice OT3, but I also enjoy fandom content about these two on their own. And I’d say that if we “dissect” lemonberry ice into three ships consisting of two people each, then Lemony/Bertrand might be the one I think about the most because in canon we get a lot of Lemony/Beatrice (mostly from his and only his perspective, but still) and quite a lot of Bertrand/Beatrice (even though it’s mostly through other people’s memories of them) but little to no glimpse into what the dynamic between Lemony and Bertrand was like, so I keep trying to fill these gaps for myself.

[virtualfindingsdocumented]

Netflix things I accept as canon even if they are not book canon

Everything to happen to Lemony during his narration, like the “Fire!” thing and being sent in a box, and also the looks of his apartment(s)

The Baudelaires working together in their talents

“Remarkable woman, flammable”

Jacquelyn existing (not as R tho)

The tunnels, including the unused lore from tihoso

Sunny being good at cards

Fernald and Sunny

Josephine having a fierce and formidable past

The Baudelaire parents and the Quagmire parents knowing each other

The Quagmire parents period

Bertrand having been seen by his children in the secretary disguise

All the implied details about Olaf’s past with other volunteers

Olaf and Lemony being in a drama club together

Prufrock being linked to VFD

Esmé being rich on her own

“You sound like Beatrice”

The Henchpeople not dying one by one, but all leaving in TSS (and having some temporary happiness in the end)

The fortune teller outfit being a standard VFD disguise and still fooling (VFD) people

Also the arsonist disguise

Mr. Poe developing Stockholm Syndrome when Ms. Bass robs the bank

The Sinister Duo having a parental/mentoring role to Olaf

Bruce being Brucie

The thing Sunny did with the ribbon in TSS

Everything related to Fiona (this is probably the most “polemic” here but yeah no regrets)

Fernald having feelings for Olaf and overall being not straight

Olaf disguised as Jacques

The dynamics between Lemony, Olaf, Esmé, Kit, and Beatrice as shown in the flashback

Kit’s and Lemony’s last meeting in TPP 

Dewey making use of the tunnels

Charles and Jerome

Babs and Ms. Bass

Beatrice getting to talk to Lemony

The endings for the Quagmires, Fernald and Fiona and the Troupe (not always, but most of the time

Eye shaped City

Tihoso’ schism lore

[snicketsleuth]

Whatever happened to Mrs Widdershins?

Fiona Widdershins' life was plagued with abandonment issues. Her birth father is unaccounted for, her mother died when she was very young, her only sibling disappeared and her stepather left her stranded on the Queequeg without so much as an explanation. It's no wonder that Fiona snapped when she finally got her brother back and decided to stay with him at all costs. It's the tragic tale of a broken childhood, and a broken family.

But the topic of Mrs Widdershins' untimely demise is interesting from a narrative point of view. Why did Daniel Handler decide to make Fiona and Fernald's mother such a big deal in the first place? Surely the tension between the Captain and Fernald was enough to explain the trauma inherent to the Widdershins family drama. Adding a mysteriously departed mom on top of it is kind of overkill.

The Netflix adaptation attempted to give us some resolution by turning Fernald into a lab assistant at Anwhistle Aquatics and giving the Captain the subplot of his wife's disappareance. That's all well and good, and satisfying from a narrative perspective, but the books have their own separate canon.

Surely there's a reason why this subplot was included in the books. Daniel Handler probably had a resolution in mind but decided not to include it (just like he never confirmed that Lemony was the taxi driver from "The Penultimate Peril", for example). So why did he think Mrs. Widdershins was important? What's the missing story behind her death? Her demise looms in the background of the Widdershins family dynamic like the missing piece of a very important puzzle. It seems inoccuous, but it's probably the key to understanding everything. So what really happened to her? And how would it help us rationalizing the actions of Fernald and his stepfather?

Although the following hypothesis will mostly focus on Mrs. Widdershins, we will also try to answer a number of burning questions regarding the Widdershins family, including but not limited to:

How did Fernald lose his hands?

Who killed Gregor Anwhistle?

Who burned down Anwhistle Aquatics?

Why did Fernald betray his stepfather and join Olaf's troupe?

More after the cut.

There are some interesting tidbits of chronology to be found in the Widdershins legacy, so let's try to organize events in the right order.

We don't know anything about Fernald's and Fiona's birth father. Apparently Handler chose to make the Captain their stepfather to better explain why the relationship between Fernald and the Captain turned sour so quickly. Indeed if you look at the chronology it turns out that the Captain is only older than Fernald by a few years. So basically the Captain became Fernald's stepfather when he had barely entered adulthood. Fernald probably never saw him as a proper authority figure, which would explain why his bossy attitude particularly annoyed him.

For more details on Fernald and the Captain's age, please refer to this article : (Link).

Although not traditional, the family was originally a happy one:

"I found something else," Violet said, handing her brother a crumpled square of paper. "Look." Klaus looked at what his sister had given him. It was a photograph, blurred and faded with four people, grouped together like a family. In the center of the photograph was a large man with a long mustache that was curved at the end like a pair of parentheses – Captain Widdershins, of course, although he looked much younger and a great deal happier than the children had ever seen him. He was laughing, and his arm was around someone the two Baudelaires recognized as the hook-handed man, although he was not hook-handed in the photograph – both of his hands were perfectly intact, one resting on the captain's shoulder, and the other pointing at whoever was taking the picture – and he was young enough to still be called a teenager, instead of a man. On the other side of the captain was a woman who was laughing as hard as the captain, and in her arms was a young infant with a tiny set of triangular glasses. [The Grim Grotto, Chapter Twelve]

This does beg the question: who took the photograph and towards whom is Fernald pointing? Who’s this assumed friend of the Widdershins family? More on that later.

Then the questionable death of Mrs Widdershins took place:

"Phil!" Violet cried. "What on earth are you doing here?" "He's the second of our crew of two!" the captain cried. "Aye! The original second in the crew of two was Fiona's mother, but she died in a manatee accident quite a few years ago." "I'm not so sure it was an accident," Fiona said. [The Grim Grotto, Chapter Two]

The Captain and Fernald seemed to get along well when Mrs. Widdershins was alive. Then the relationship changed.

"You?" said Olaf's henchman. "What happened to Widdershins?" "He disappeared from the submarine," Fiona replied. "We don't know where he is." "I don't care where he is," the hook-handed man sneered. "I couldn't care less about that mustached fool! He's the reason I joined Count Olaf in the first place! The captain was always shouting 'Aye! Aye! Aye!' and ordering me around! So I ran away and joined Olaf's acting troupe!" "But Count Olaf is a terrible villain!" Fiona cried. "He has no regard for other people. He dreams up treacherous schemes, and lures others into becoming his cohorts!" "Those are just the bad aspects of him," the hook-handed man said. "There are many good parts, as well. For instance, he has a wonderful laugh." [The Grim Grotto, Chapter Ten]

It’s jarring that Fernald cites the Captain’s behavior as the main reason he joined Count Olaf’s troupe. Why would he suddenly resent his stepfather when he used to actually like him? In fact, he seems to think so little of him that he considers Olaf an upgrade. What made Fernald change his mind about his stepfather so quickly? There could be three explanations for this: either the Captain’s behavior changed dramatically after his wife’s death, or Fernald learned something about the Captain which redefined the relationship entirely. The third option is that Mrs. Widdershins’ death was so traumatic an ordeal that it severed any affection between Fernald and the Captain.

As one can imagine, it’s easy to posit that these three hypotheses could combine themselves. There are things about Mrs. Widdershins’ death which Fiona does not know and which severely damaged the bond between a stepfather and his stepson. A huge disagreement occurred over her untimely end, and feelings were hurt. Now there’s one legitimate reason for Fernald to be upset at the Captain: he’s lying about the true circumstances of his wife’s death. Fiona was already questioning the official version while she was devoted to V.F.D. and her stepdad, so it’s safe to assume that Fernald does not believe this story either.

Although Fernald's eventual defection clearly has much to do with what happened at Anwhistle Aquatics, it's clear that the death of Mrs Widdershins is equally important in the matter. Is it possible that the two events are linked? In fact, it's likely. The composition of the Queequeg's crew of two is especially revealing:

"Aye! The original second in the crew of two was Fiona's mother, but she died in a manatee accident quite a few years ago." [...] "Then we had Jacques!" the captain continued. "Aye, and then what's-his-name, Jacques's brother, and then a dreadful woman who turned out to be a spy, and finally we have Phil! Although I like to call him Cookie! I don't know why!" [The Grim Grotto, Chapter Two]

Now there is someone apparently missing from this list: Fernald. After his mother died, it would seem likely that her son would replace her as the second-in-command in the crew of two. Fernald remembers the Captain bossing him around. It's possible that Fernald was indeed a member of the Crew of Two and that the Captain is omitting him out of shame, but that’s unlikely. You see, Fiona is in the room with the Captain while he is listing these people. If he had “forgotten” to name Fernald, she would have corrected him immediately. But no, the list appears to be correct in Fiona’s own assessment. For some reason, Fernald was NEVER considered a member of the Crew of Two, even though he was old enough and had the qualifications. The Captain immediately replaced Mrs. Widdershins with Jacques Snicket.

And that’s really telling, because we know Jacques was occupying this position at a time where Fernald was already part of Count Olaf’s troupe. Here’s a passage from a letter which Jacques sent Lemony from the Queequeg. At that point in time, Fernald was probably starring in Olaf’s play “One last warning to those who try to stand in my way”:

Under normal circumstances, new volunteers like ourselves would not receive disguise training until our years of apprenticeship were finished, but we have not been under normal circumstances for quite some time. For instance, currently I am under sixty feet of water, rather than under normal circumstances. [Lemony Snicket’s un-Authorized Autobiography, p.96]

The two actresses playing the Defenders of Liberty now have their faces painted a ghastly white color, and the part of the Little Snicket Lad, once played by the young actor pictured here, has been replaced by a sinister-looking person far too old for the part (also pictured here). [Lemony Snicket’s un-Authorized Autobiography, p.78] [NB: The picture in question depicts a young man in a fedora who looks eerily similar to the way Brett Helquist draws Fernald in the official illustrations of the original editions]

And that means something very significant: that Fernald left the Queequeg a short time after his mother’s death, to the point that he was never considered a second in the Crew of Two. As we know, Fiona is barely older than Violet even though she was born before Lemony’s and Beatrice’s break-up (that is, before Jacques became a secon-in-command in the Crew of Two).

So we've established, chronologically, that the fire at Anwhistle Aquatics and Mrs. Widdershins' demise are part of the same debacle. Is there a reason for a second in the Queequeg's Crew of Two to be involved in Gregor Anwhistle's research?

Potentially yes. Anwhistle Aquatics, for some reason, was built upon a subterranean grotto which could only be accessed by deep-sea divers. You'd need a submarine to get there. The grotto was arranged to conceal specimens of the Medusoid Mycellium securely: the spores can't travel by water, so making sure that only deep-sea divers can access it makes complete sense. Shortly after they visit the grotto, Violet and Klaus are able to safely contain the infestation in a submarine helmet. It's probably the only way safe for the fungus to be handled. Therefore, in order to make his experiments on the Medusoid Mycelium securely, Gregor Anwhistle would need constant access to a V.F.D. submarine and its crew, making long trips from the research center to the grotto.

This is why we need to understand what truly happened during the fire. The Queequeg's crew didn't just have access to Gregor Anwhistle's research center: they were heavily involved in it. They knew exactly what he was doing and the Widdershins family perhaps even had a hand in it.

So let's imagine that Mrs Widdershins wasn't just a submarine operator. She was a scholar. She was one of Gregor Anwhistle's assistants, and, more importantly, one of his accomplices. Gregor Anwhistle took the photograph of the Widdershins family.

"I think the ruby ring is very in," Esmé purred. "It would look wonderful with my flame-imitating dress." "That was my mother's," Fiona said quietly. "She would have wanted me to have it Esmé said quickly. "We were close friends at school." [The Grim Grotto, Chapter Thirteen]

And if you think that's doubtful, ask yourself this: why is Fiona a mycologist? And why does the Queequeg's library contains so much information on mushrooms in general and the Medusoid Mycellium in particular? This library is a legacy of Mrs Widdershin's works on the Medusoid Mycellium. She knew everything. And that is exactly why Kit Snicket targetted the Widdershins family when she reached a disagreement with Gregor Anwhistle. Kit definitely had Gregor Anwhistle murdered. The reason she specifically asked the Captain and Fernald to commit this crime is because they had easy access to Anwhistle Aquatics (through their submarine) and to Gregor (through Mrs Widdershins).

Violet smiled. "Precisely," she said. "A Hobson 's choice is something that's not a choice at all. It's an expression our mother used to use. She'd say, 'I'll give you a Hobson's choice, Violet – you can clean your room or I will stand in the doorway and sing your least favorite song over and over.' "  Fiona grinned. "What was your least favorite song?" she asked. " 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat,' " Violet said. "I hate the part about life being but a dream." "She'd offer me the Hobson's choice of doing the dishes or reading the poetry of Edgar Guest," Klaus said. "He's my absolute least favorite poet." "Bath or pink dress," Sunny said. "Did your mother always joke around like that?" Fiona asked. "Mine used to get awfully mad if I didn't clean my room." "Our mother would get mad, too," Klaus said. "Remember, Violet, when we left the window of the library open, and that night it rained?" [The Grim Grotto, Chapter Seven]

We may never know what truly happened at Anwhistle Aquatics that terrible night. We can only makes hypotheses. But here's our proposition.

Kit Snicket eventually realized Gregor wouldn't listen to reason. In order to stop his bioweapon project, she needed to come up with a way to burn down Anwhistle Aquatics and murder Gregor. That way, the research would be lost forever. Kit then reached out to the Captain, who had both access to the research center and a wife who was part of Gregor's inner circle. The Captain accepted the mission and even enlisted the help of his stepson. He told Fernald that his mother was under a corrupting influence and that she had been brainwashed by Gregor. She needed to be saved from herself.

In the final analysis – a phrase which here means "after much thought, and some debate with my colleagues" – Captain Widdershins was wrong about a great many things. He was wrong about his personal philosophy, because there are plenty of times when one should hesitate. He was wrong about his wife's death, because as Fiona suspected, Mrs. Widdershins did not die in a manatee accident. He was wrong to call Phil "Cookie" when it is more polite to call someone by their proper name, and he was wrong to abandon the Queequeg, no matter what he heard from the woman who came to fetch him. Captain Widdershins was wrong to trust his stepson for so many years, and wrong to participate in the destruction of Anwhistle Aquatics, and he was wrong to insist, as he did so many years ago, that a story in The Daily Punctilio was completely true, and to show this article to so many volunteers, including the Baudelaire parents, the Snicket siblings, and the woman I happened to love. But Captain Widdershins was right about one thing. He was right to say that there are secrets in this world too terrible for young people to know, for the simple reason that there are secrets in this world too terrible for anyone to know, whether they are as young as Sunny Baudelaire or as old as Gregor Anwhistle, secrets so terrible that they ought to be kept secret, which is probably how the secrets became secrets in the first place, and one of those secrets is the long, strange shape the Baudelaire orphans saw, first on the Queequeg's sonar, and then as they held the porthole in place and stared out into the waters of the sea. [The Grim Grotto, Chapter Thirteen]

The Captain betrayed his wife's confidence by sneaking into the research center to set a fire while Fernald murdered Gregor. Then they retreated to the safety of the Queequeg. However things didn't go as planned. Instead of fleeing the flames, Mrs Widdershins threw herself into them. She was desperately trying to save Gregor's research in order to duplicate it. In spite of her family's insistence, she never came back to the Queequeg. She died in the fire. Fernald and the Captain agreed to never tell Fiona what had transpired.

"Our stepfather knew Jacques Snicket," Fiona said. "He was a good man, but Count Olaf murdered him. Are you a murderer, too? Did you kill Gregor Anwhistle?" In grim silence, the hook-handed man held his hooks in front of the children. "The last time you saw me," he said to Fiona, "I had two hands, instead of hooks. Our stepfather probably didn't tell you what happened to me – he always said there were secrets in this world too terrible for young people to know. What a fool!" "Our stepfather isn't a fool," Fiona said. "He's a noble man. Aye!" "People aren't either wicked or noble," the hook-handed man said. "They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." [The Grim Grotto, Chapter Ten]

This is why the relationship between the Captain  and Fernald never recovered. Fernald could never forgive the Captain for starting the fire which killed his mother. Although the Captain certainly never intended for Mrs Widdershins to die, his responsability in his wife's death was inevitable.

Interestingly this tragic death would explain A LOT about Fernald's decision to join Olaf's troupe. After all, one can understand why killing Gregor Anwhistle was necessary. It's morally ambiguous, for sure, but it's not a good enough reason to join a criminal gang. But if you add the trauma of losing a mother on top of this shady assassination, things start to make more sense. You see, Fernald and Olaf had a big thing in common: both lost parental figures in a shady assassination scheme orchestrated by members of V.F.D. The Baudelaire parents killed Olaf's parents at a opera house. Count Olaf used this connection, this proximity in background, to warp Fernald's feelings. He turned him against his stepfather and V.F.D. in general by sharing some aspects of his own backstory.

"Fiona!" the hook-handed man cried. "Is it really you?" "Aye," the mycologist said, taking off her triangular glasses to wipe away her tears. "I never thought I would see you again, Fernald. What happened to your hands?" "Never mind that," the hook-handed man said quickly. "Why are you here? Did you join Count Olaf, too?" [The Grim Grotto, Chapter Ten]

It would also explain why Fernald is reluctant to share some aspects of his past with Fiona (such as the way he lost his hands, for example) even though she knows about the Anwhistle fire. Although she's begun to scratch the surface, there are simply aspects of the murder which are worse than she thinks and which Fernald is not ready to divulge. Indeed Fiona could very much blame both Fernald and the Captain for her mother's death. Her stepbrother fears that. It's likely that the reason he lost his hands has as much to do with their mother than it has to do with Gregor. If we had to guess, we'd say he burned his hands trying to rescue his mother at Anwhistle Aquatics.

What makes this theory credible is the cover story which the Captain used to explain away his wife's disappearance. More specifically, it involves a manatee. And a manatee shows up in another dubious disappearance story :

"Have you lived your whole life on this island?" Klaus said. "Yes," Friday said. "My mother and father took an ocean cruise while she was pregnant, and ran into a terrible storm. My father was devoured by a manatee, and my mother was washed ashore when she was pregnant with me. You'll meet her soon. Now please hurry up and change." [The End, Chapter Three]

"Oh, Ish," he said, his eyes shining bright, "I told you many years ago that I would triumph over you someday, and at last that day has arrived. My associate with the weekday for a name told me that you were still hiding out on this island, and–" "Thursday," Mrs. Caliban said. Olaf frowned, and blinked at the freckled woman. "No," he said. "Monday. She was trying to blackmail an old man who was involved in a political scandal." [The End, Chapter Eleven]

However this story is later proven to be untrue: Miranda Caliban and her husband were on opposite side of the schism which divided the island. Thursday left with the Baudelaire parents, while Miranda remained on the Island with their daughter. She made up the entire story. It's a little too much of a coincidence that two different disappareance cover-up stories share the exact same weird detail about a manatee.

"Have you been here before?" Violet asked. "No," Kit said, "but I've heard about this place. My associates have told me stories of its mechanical wonders, its enormous library, and the gourmet meals the islanders prepare. Why, the day before I met you, Baudelaires, I shared Turkish coffee with an associate who was saying that he'd never had better Oysters Rockefeller than during his time on the island. You must be having a wonderful time here." "Janiceps," Sunny said, restating an earlier opinion. "I think this place has changed since your associate was here," said Klaus. "That's probably true," Kit said thoughtfully. "Thursday did say that the colony had suffered a schism, just as V.F.D. did." "Another schism?" Violet asked. "Countless schisms have divided the world over the years," Kit replied in the darkness. "Do you think the history of V.F.D. is the only story in the world? Bu: let's not talk of the past, Baudelaires. Tell me how you made your way to these shores." [The End, Chapter Eight]

"Occasionally someone leaves," Ishmael said, and looked down at the Incredibly Deadly Viper, who gave him a brief hiss. "Some time ago, two women sailed off with this very snake, and a few years later, a man named Thursday left with a few comrades." "So Thursday is alive," Klaus said, "just like Kit said." "Yes," Ishmael admitted, "but at my suggestion, Miranda told her daughter that he died in a storm, so she wouldn't worry about the schism that divided her parents." "Electra," Sunny said, which meant "A family shouldn't keep such terrible secrets," but Ishmael did not ask for a translation. "Except for those troublemakers," he said, "everyone has stayed here. And why shouldn't they? Most of the castaways are orphans, like me, and like you. [The End, Chapter Ten]

At this point, it seems more likely to be one of those memetic code phrases which V.F.D. likes to use. "Eaten by a manatee" is a slang term that adult volunteers use to hide something horrible from their children. So what does "eaten by a manatee" mean, exactly? Surely it doesn't mean "dead", as Thursday was clearly alive and well when Miranda started spouting those lies. "Eaten by a manatee" is not used to cover up deaths, it's used to cover up betrayals. Instead of telling young volunteers that someone went to the other side of the schism, parents tell them the person was "eaten by a manatee". It's the ultimate way to sever the parental bond. It's common to tell someone who betrayed you: "you're dead to me". V.F.D. takes the expression to its literal extreme.

So when the Captain affirms that his wife was eaten by a manatee, he means that she actually betrayed the organization. It's not obvious because she didn't go to Olaf's side of the schism (as Fernald did later) but rather to the other side of another schism: that is, she chose Gregor's side in his feud against Kit Snicket. There are indeed multiple schisms within the history of V.F.D. The schism between the "noble" and "villainous" side is the first one and the most important one, but the "noble" side suffered other disagreements: Ishmael vs the Baudelaire parents on the Island, Kit vs Gregor, Lemony vs his mentors in "All The Wrong Questions", Dashiell and Theodora vs Gifford and Ghede, etc.

And on that topic, the newspaper clipping which Violet Baudelaire found in the grotto is especially revealing:

" 'VERIFYING FERNALD'S DEFECTION,' " she said, reading the headline out loud, and then continued by reading the byline, a word which here means "name of the person who wrote the article." "By Jacques Snicket. It has now been confirmed that the fire that destroyed Anwhistle Aquatics, and took the life of famed ichnologist Gregor Anwhistle, was set by Fernald Widdershins, the son of the captain of the Queequeg submarine. The Widdershins family's participation in a recent schism has raised several questions regarding..." Violet looked up and met the glare of Olaf's henchman. "The rest of the article is blurry," she said, "but the truth is clear. You defected – you abandoned V.F.D. and joined up with Olaf!" [The Grim Grotto; Chapter Ten]

Violet missed the point of the article entirely. The text clearly mentions a “recent” schism; that is, not the original one which happened while Dewey and Kit were about four years old and which split the organization into two. The “recent” schism is clearly the one which divided the “noble” volunteers into Gregor’s followers and Gregor’s adversaries. And note that this is the “Widdershins family” who is involved in that particular schism; not just Fernald.

"You should have seen the fire," he said quietly. "From a distance, it looked like an enormous black plume of smoke, rising straight out of the water. It was like the entire sea was burning down." "You must have been proud of your handiwork," Fiona said bitterly. "Proud?" the hook-handed man said. "It was the worst day of my life. That plume of smoke was the saddest thing I ever saw." He speared the newspaper with his other hook and ripped the article into shreds. "The Punctilio got everything wrong," he said. "Captain Widdershins isn't my father. Widdershins isn't my last name. And there's much more to the fire than that. You should know that the Daily Punctilio doesn't tell the whole story, Baudelaires. Just as the poison of a deadly fungus can be the source of some wonderful medicines, someone like Jacques Snicket can do something villainous, and someone like Count Olaf can do something noble. Even your parents –" [The Grim Grotto; Chapter Ten]

As Fernald warns the Baudelaire orphans, the newspaper clipping is propaganda meant to disguise the volunteer’s more questionable behaviours. It purposedly fails to mention that the Captain helped start the destruction of Anwhistle Aquatics, for example. So the author clearly wants us to question the official narrative. And for some reason, as Fernald starts defending his own version of the events, he starts spewing unsavory revelations about the Baudelaire parents. Why would he do that? Is he projecting his own family issues on the Baudelaire legacy? That would be fitting. We already know that the Captain did morally questionable things for V.F.D. It’s not a big leap to assume that his wife committed some crimes of her own.

[kitsnicket]

then I start thinking about how lonely Kit must’ve felt before she died. jacques is dead. and lemony. and Beatrice. And Bertrand and Josephine and Monty and pretty much everyone she cares about. aside from Dewey who is confined to his library and frank who she may be close to but I haven’t quite figured out that dynamic. there’s no more arguing with jacques about driving or root beer floats with lemony or philosophical discussions with bertrand or running lines with beatrice. Kit getting out of bed every morning despite her insurmountable loss is a testament to her quiet courage. but despite her courage i imagine that, at her end, she welcomed death as you would an old friend

[beatricebidelaire]

for me book jacques will always have that mysterious, unknown vibe but mysterious in a subtle way, that blatantly hiding, not publicly known to be a mysterious and ambiguous entity but more the type to hide in plain sight, quietly blending in. doesn't draw attention to himself. in the shadows but not obvious about it. atwq profile cards with lemony covering his face versus jacques just being a silhouette comes to mind. he's quiet and calm and he does things in the shadows.

of course, considering jacques's first appearance in the book - and arguably the only appearance, if we don't count the meeting in the unauthorized autobiography - in the vile village he's far from the word calm and i'm aware of that but that still somehow doesn't change my impression. while i can argue that it's extraordinary circumstances in which he can no longer stay calm, i mean that's reasonable, i also in a way think that, perhaps jacques is usually quite outwardly projecting the quiet and calm image and he is more the silent and shy type, at least in front of strangers / compared to his siblings, but also beneath that he's far more agitated and panicky, maybe. but he keeps that down most of the time because he doesn't want others (mainly his younger siblings) to worry, because he thinks he has to keep calm for their sake. appears as if he's sort of got things under control, that he can solve problems for them.

if you think about the constant pressure he must be facing - his youngest brother has always been a troublemaker in VFD's eyes, a more of a rebellious sort, someone perhaps the VFD as a whole are not keen to help out after being declared an arsonist. but J helped L go on the lam, and continued to work to collect information to prove L's innocence. i think despite the general impression of J's loyalty to VFD in comparison to his siblings, there are probably quite a few things that he's working alone on, just on his own and probably not something the others would approve of. for family. L in this case, specifically. not that he won't protect K if needed but K's position in the VFD is different from L's, and J and K also have some kind of complicated relationship even if they do care for each other, very much. anyway it's just, a lot. in general. so maybe there's a lot of agitation underneath the calm surface, all of which all surfacing up at the final moments.

but also, since possibly making himself appear collected and calm is for his siblings sake so they won't worry, and thinking that he needs to be the one to protect them instead of being a burden on them, then maybe he will especially feel the need to maintain this image in front of L.

J and L have a lot of similarities - both being journalists at dp, both investigate things and can arguably be called investigators in a sense, and they're both noir detectives in my heart. they even write similarly (see J's letter in the unauthorized autobiography). they have the similar kinds of mysteriousness and ambiguity. i wouldn't say L idolized J but in some way he does see him as a role model of some kind, possibly. and J is probably aware of that. so he make efforts to keep up his image.

i want to say again that i do not think L idolized J but also the silhouette thing - doesn't that remind you of someone else in the books? beatrice, perhaps. who is, also, in some way ... idealized after her death. i know i'm using two different verbs here but, one is his older brother and the other his lover so. anyway. beamony dynamic before beatrice's death is interesting because we don't really get to see it, and i've speculated about this subject before, of whether L did see the real Beatrice or more of an idealized image of her at that time, or was it something that's related to how he copes with dealing with her death. (i think my favorite interpretation is what mayo said in the tags here, about him being more in love with the real beatrice when she's there and more in love with the idealized version of beatrice when she's further away)

but like, back to jacques. and silhouettes parallels of beatrice and jacques. J's older brother image, dependable and reliable and calm and a bit mysterious (in an older brother way), i mean obvs L's aware J is more than that just like i'm sure he knows B is more than that, but also it's complicated and knowing the complicated parts still doesn't mean one sees the whole picture but at the same time, J himself is partly the reason that L sees him that way because the image he feels like he needs to maintain in front of L and hence he tries to shove down his own, worries and agitation and all that, maybe. i'm rambling and this is very incoherent i just have some, ideas floating around but it's hard to pieces into logical sentences i'm going to end the post here

[littlestsnicket]

003 kit

003 | Kit: 

How I feel about this character: I don’t love Kit like, for instance, Becca loves Kit, but I do love Kit. How could you not love Kit? I love her as a distraught pregnant woman who will fight to the bitter end even though she does not believe she or her allies will succeed. I love that she makes time to feed the Baudelaires because making sure they have that moment is more important than the mission. I love that she tied Violet’s hair up. I love her as Lemony’s co-conspirator who is going to keep going on her mission even without her backup. I love how clear it is that Lemony loves her. 

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Dewey, Olaf (I guess, I’m really curious about their dynamic, like what was Olaf like as a younger person, maybe they really were good together for a bit), Beatrice (but that’s just because of you, I wouldn’t have come up with that on my own). I’m happy to read fic with her and Esme, but I don’t actually ship it. Oh, an Ellington! I totally ship them having dated and it not working out in the long run. 

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: SNICKET SIBLINGS!! Their tragic messed up childhood and how it impacts their relationships with each other! Also Bertrand. 

My unpopular opinion about this character: I like Kit’s character in Netflix!tss. It’s completely wasted in the penultimate peril, where she’s just so... perky and does not sell being distraught at all. But I think it would have been so cool if we saw a contrast--the hyper competent brave face she’s been putting on for so long, even when she’s alone, with her finally just coming apart in front of the Baudelaires and telling them that things WILL NOT GO WELL BUT THEY HAVE TO TRY ANYWAY. I think the emotional vulnerability she shows is a huge part of why the Baudelaires want to help her in the books and it’s really missing from the show. (Also, Kit is sp*rty, she waterskiis in an opera dress, but Netflix!Kit’s costuming (except for those boots which are badass) is awful.)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish we got to see her interact with Jacques, even if it was just in letters in tua. They’re both at the meeting, but it’s not enough. And with all of the duplicate initials, it’s not concrete enough. (I like that her story is so tragic, it makes me terribly sad, but I wouldn’t change it for anything.)

Favorite friendship for this character: BERTRAND!! Yaaaaay!! Them being honest with each other in the snicket taxi!!

My crossover ship: no? do people commonly have crossover ships? is that a thing i missed? 

[strange-as-it-may-seem]

Six Snickets AU for the shipping meme?

Thanks for the ask 💛 Ok, so essentially I could use all the characters in Snicketverse and Ekaterina (Netflix! Kit), Clement(Netflix!Lemony) and Jacob Snicket (Netflix!Jacques) , but I’m gonna focus on the Six Snickets here.

lowkey otp: Moxie x Clement; Jacob x Ophelia (Netflix!Olivia)

highkey notp: all of the inc*st ships, obviously; Esme and Lemony; Olaf and Lemony; Esme x Olivia

“[softly] don’t” notp: Jacques (book!Jacques) with anyone, mostly because storytelling-wise I don’t see him devoting time to romantic relationships; Jacob (Netflix! Jacques)with anyone else but Ophelia (Netflix!Olivia); also kinda always all the pairings that I don’t ship are lowkey notp’s from, also Jacquelyn x Larry (like... just no)

highkey otp but i’m scared of saying it because it’s not a very popular choice: Kitlaf and Kit x Haruki; so the first one it’s probably not unpopular but kinda controversial? I don’t think that they are a good for each other, but I like Kit x Olaf in context of the storytelling; I like how it adds the drama and they have interesting dynamics; it’s good that they broke-up tho; I mean, in original universe I prefer eventual Kit x Dewey endgame, but in this AU Kat is with Dewey, so in Six Snickets AU I’d probably ship l Kit x Haruki (he’s mentioned in ATWQ and I have several heads ins for him already)

highkey otp and anyone on my tumblr knows it: Kat x Dewey! also Beatrice x Lemony, but I prefer Beatrice x Bertrand; like with Kitlaf, I ship Beamony as a part of a dramatic story and they’re just interesting; it’s good tho that Beatrice ended up with Bertrand; I also don’t exactly like “Lemony is Violet’s biological father” theory (my headcanon is that violet as very similar to Bertrand)