#dun dun duhhhhhhhh

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Don't Go Blindly Into the Dark

Summary:

To hide that he can't read, Jan Van Eck has been forcing his son to pretend he's blind since he was eight years old. Wylan is now attending Ketterdam University, and meeting Jesper Fahey may very well be about to change his life. But is he safe to tell Jesper the truth? And what will Jesper say if he does?

Jesper is struggling to weigh up his life in the Barrel and his life at the University of Ketterdam, and there's a good chance that his growing debt is about to make the decision for him. He hasn't attended class consecutively for months, but maybe that will change when his newest project includes partnering up with Wylan Van Eck. But can he really leave the Barrel behind him? And how long can he keep up the pretence of who he thinks Wylan wants him to be?

Tags: @justalunaticfangirl @lunarthecorvus

If anyone else would like to be tagged let me know :)

Content warnings for this chapter: ptsd

AO3 link

Chapter 23 - Inej

Everything hurt. The world returned to Inej in slow, strange flashes as her eyes opened but her vision blurred and bled. Short, shallow breaths heaved in her chest as she tried to sit up, sharper pain suddenly rocketing through her leg. She hissed, grabbing the mattress and the headboard to steady herself.

“Easy,” said a soft voice nearby, “easy, you’re okay,”

It took a moment for Inej to find her room at the Slat and come to proper attention. Nina spun into view standing opposite her, arms outstretched as though she were expecting Inej to faint and fall right off the bed. She very well may have been about to. 

“Nina…”

“Lie down,” Nina murmured, as Inej let her slip her hands through hers and ease back against the pillow, “You need to rest,”

Inej wanted to protest but the pain was terrible and there were dark spots crowding in her vision, their edges fizzling with sparks as they clamoured for her attention. Her breaths came shakily and she closed her eyes, lying on her back, tightening her fingers around Nina’s hand. Between them they managed to move Inej’s pillow and prop her up against the headboard, but Inej wasn’t entirely convinced she would have been able to move herself alone. Her leg was on fire and her skin was shaking as though it intended to stand up without her muscles following it, to leave her cold and throbbing like an oyster pulled out of its shell.

“You should drink some water,” said Nina, softly, pressing a flask into Inej’s hands.

“How long was I out?” she whispered, raising the water slowly to her lips.

“Not as long as I’d like you to have been,” admitted Nina, “Only four hours or so. You need to sleep,”

Inej didn’t want to sleep. She wanted to stand up and prove to herself that she was fine, that her pain would dissipate and she would be able to walk, run, climb as soon as possible. She settled for sipping her water, watching Nina over the rim of the flask. Inej’s room was tight but Nina had brought one of the many spindly, mismatched dining chairs from downstairs and just about managed to fit it in. It was a snug fit, the chair was pressed against both the wall and Inej’s mattress so it wasn’t possible to sit on it without bringing your legs to the side, like Nina was now. For a while they sat there in the relative quiet, the voices below a distant ocean chorus, as Inej tried to sort through her clouded thoughts, a sudden panic seizing her as her hands began to trace her belt, her sleeves, her sides. 

“Do you want something to eat?” asked Nina lightly, in the middle of turning back to face Inej and apparently not yet having noticed her frenzy.

“Where are my knives? Nina - Nina, where -?”

“It’s okay,” Nina looked briefly panicked, “It’s okay, they’re here,” she opened the top drawer of Inej’s little nightstand, the only furniture she had but her bed and clothes chest, so she could see the knives neatly laid out along the base of the wood, “I’m sorry, I needed somewhere to put them and the drawer was empty. I could put them on top so you can see them-”

Inej shook her head.

“It’s alright,” she breathed, “I’m sorry, I… I don’t know,”

But she knew where they were now. As much as she might want to ignore that nervous, irrational part of her mind instead of having to find the right ways to calm it, at least it had relaxed some, now, and she could temporarily set it to one side. She breathed.

“What happened?” she ventured, after a minute had passed, “After…”

“Kaz went to the Crow Club, I assume he’s still there; I haven't seen him. Anika and Roeder missed Wylan at the docks, Jesper ran after the boat - I don’t know what happened, but he came by a few hours ago to say Wylan was alright,”

“He’s okay?”

Nina shrugged.

“He’s alive,”

That was probably about the best they could have hoped for. Inej hadn’t been able to make much sense of half the things she’d found at the Van Eck house, but fathers didn’t just decide to send hired guns after their children on a casual whim. The paper trail that led Inej to Miggson and Prior had not been the only plan, though as far she could tell it was the only one that ever got further than a half-baked shape of an idea, and Van Eck didn’t seem to be trying particularly hard to hide them anywhere but beneath other papers in one of the many drawers in his unnecessarily large desk. Inej sipped her water again, nodding vaguely in response to Nina as she said something about bringing her some food. She let Nina feel her forehead when she asked, and the Heartrender returned with a cold compress before she went to get them both something to eat. 

Once Nina had returned and they’d both had some lunch - cheese sandwiches followed by a few little sweet rolls Nina had bought from the bakery down the street recently enough that they weren’t too dry yet - Inej reached her arms either side of her and sat up off the headboard to stretch her spine.

“I need to move,” she said eventually, when Nina had taken her plate off her and set it on the little nightstand. 

“You should rest,” 

Inej just shook her head.

“I need to move,”

She rolled slightly, planting her hands onto the mattress so she could lean her weight into her arms and drag her leg slightly behind her. The compress round her neck - she’d almost forgotten it was there - slipped and flopped onto the mattress as she moved, and Nina stood to pick it up. Inej’s knee screamed at her as soon as she moved it, spots clouded into her vision once again and she tensed, feeling herself sway, clutching Nina’s outstretched hands. 

“You’re okay,” Nina whispered, holding her close, “You’re okay. Come here, sit on the edge of the mattress,”

Inej shuffled forwards and Nina sat down next to her, one hand hovering between them as though Inej was going to collapse at any second. To be entirely honest she wasn’t sure she could discount the possibility. 

“Just lift your leg up and down,” said Nina, hinging her own leg from knee as she spoke, “Go slow. Just try to get some movement there,”

Inej found herself gripping the edge of the mattress until the sheet began to ball up inside her fists, gritting her teeth as she moved her leg slowly up and down. It took an infuriating amount of effort just to do it once, and despite Nina forming the beginnings of a question Inej just bit her lip and tried again. She was left almost breathless, with burning annoyance heating in her cheeks.

“Don’t rush it,” Nina’s voice was gentle, “Just keep trying when you can,”

Over the slow remainder of the day Inej switched between lying down, trying to quell the voices in her head, and slowly pushing her leg to each new limit she could think of, trying to quell the screaming in her head. Nina stayed with her all day, letting Inej lean on her as she tried to put weight onto her knee, keeping the damp cloth round the back of Inej’s neck cool, easing her pain when it got to its worst and telling her stories when other things got to their worst.

“Nina…” Inej said at some point, when it suddenly occurred to her they’d been together for hours on end even before she woke up, “Don’t you have to be at work?”

“Oh, erm…” Nina bit the inside of her lip, “I’m kind of suspended. But Kaz talked Feliks out of firing me, so that’s good,”

Inej stared at her. 

“What did you do?” she asked, and then about five minutes later, “You did the right thing, Nina,”

Nina smiled sadly, moving Inej’s hand up and down a little where their fingers were clasped.

“Why does doing the right thing feel so rotten?”

“Nina-”

“I’m not sure I really helped Elodie very much. We had to talk him out of not getting rid of her, too,”

“Is she alright?”

“I think so? I can’t be on premises, Feliks doesn’t want to explain my absence so he’s delayed all my appointments by excuse of being on a job with the Dregs - or probably in vaguer, nicer sounding terms to the clients, but the point is I’m not supposed to be there,”

Inej squeezed Nina’s fingers.

Jesper slipped briefly in and out a couple of times to check how she was doing, and Nina took the opportunity to stretch her legs and get them both some more food or drinks. 

“How’s Wylan?” 

“I’d say he’s been better,” Jesper shuffled the precarious chair a little closer so he could take Inej’s hand, and both of them cringed slightly at the ugly squeaking it made against the floorboards, “But he agreed to meet Kaz tomorrow, I guess that’s good,”

“Did you tell him Kaz wants him for demolitions?”

Jesper sucked his teeth.

“... I may have told him I work at a bar,”

“And when he meets Kaz tomorrow?”

“I’m very much operating on a figure-it-out-as-you-go-along-and-hope-for-the-best kinda plan,”

“That’s all your plans,”

“Aw, you know me so well!”

When early evening fell, Nina closed Inej’s curtains and found her pyjamas to lay them on the end of the bed. Inej stayed sitting as Nina leaned over her for a brief embrace, then bid her goodnight as she left the room. It took a while for Inej to manage changing into her ill-fitting pyjamas but that may have been a blessing because the energy it took was about  the right amount to leave her ready to sleep. She crawled beneath her duvet in slow bursts, pushing herself gently down the mattress by pressing her weight against the headboard until she was all but horizontal. Her head was heavy, the pain in her leg was slowly dulling to an easy enough ache after the sharp, explosive pains that changing had fired through her, but as she leant into the pillow she was allowed only the briefest moment of closing her eyes.

 “Saints,” said someone’s crisp, cool voice as a breeze wound its way into Inej’s room and she shot upright like a marionette with a tugged string, “I thought she’d never leave,”

Pain spiralled its way through Inej’s leg and the fuzzy, swimming sensation in her head returned at the sudden movement, but none of that mattered now. Because Inej could barely move. And Liesbeth Stoevelaar was standing in her bedroom. 

[kkqueergurl]

my shitty synopsis of song of achilles

So basically Patroclus was this super chill guy who like used to be a prince but he got banished by his asshole father at age 10 for accidentally murdering someone. (Oops?) Then he goes to another kingdom and meets the prince there who is Achilles. And Achilles is like the son of a king and some goddess chick named Thetis. And he’s like rly strong and hot. Like rly hot. (awooga awooga am I right?) And Patroclus notices it. So they besties forever. Like roomates (omg they were roomates) and they are like 2 bros chillin in a hot tub but not five feet apart cause they TOTALLY GAY. But then Achilles tells twink- I mean Patroclus, that he’s ditching him to go get buff and train with Chiron (a half horse dude) So Patroclus kisses him. Then promptly runs away. As one does. When he wakes up the next morning he’s like “oh shit my mans gone!” So he runs the entire like 7 miles up the mountain so he can meet him halfway. Then he joins him up the mountain and they train and live together. But then Achilles gets kidnapped by his mom and sent to this place and is forced to dress up like a girl and be in the princesses court but is also expected to marry the princess or smth cause she’s prego. But Patroclus finds him and is like “wtf” and they leave. Then they kiss again and now they are in love again. Then it’s been like a few years or smth and the war is going on so the soldiers are like “Achilles needs to help us, he can bring the twink” and Achilles is like “bet” so they go and live together at the camp. Then after like a lot of months Achilles has to marry this girl so Patroclus is like “damnit my man isn’t my man” but then the girls creepy ass father sacrifices her at the alter. And Achilles all freaked and runs away. Then they cry a bit and are in love again. Then Achilles has to fight and Patroclus is like “wtf don’t die?!” So he joins him (kinda) and stands on the platform waiting for hubby to come back. Then he is like “no I gotta fight” so he puts on armor and goes out there. Then instantly gets killed. So Achilles grabs his body and brings it back to his room. Not creepy at all… then everyone’s like “dude get the smelly corpse out of ur room” so he goes to avenge his mans and does so. But then dies. Then he’s like “we gotta be buried together” but his so called son shows up and says “uh no that’s weird my father wouldn’t say that” despite never meeting him, meaning Achilles and Patroclus can never be together again. Dun dun duhhhhhhhh. 

The end 

[likeadove]

Anonymous said: just wanted to tell u that i finished wcpah on a train and the fic almost made me miss my stop it was THAT good had to run off the last second hahahahah

Anonymous said: holy fuck bethany you have no idea I'm so sad about this book ending bc for real its gotten me through a lot these past few months (been reading since chap 6 baby) and honestly my only source of happiness after this will be nest of salt. From the bottom of my heart thank you so much for everything youve doen with this story. Its magnificent. (and you wrote the smut wonderfully don't even worry)

Anonymous said: I just can’t. So good. I already want to start begging for one shots.

Anonymous said: That was fkn stupendous and I am so grateful to be able to read your stories <3

Anonymous said: I actually screamed when I saw the lyrics for this chapter. Thank God none of my roommates are home because the whole thing had a me screaming/sobbing. Like how did you manage to make that so beautiful? I cried? They love each other so much and you showed that in the way they did it.

Anonymous said: ben and rey crying after doing it is the most canon thing ever canoned

Anonymous said: I just wanted to let you know that the most recent chapter of WCPAH is amazingly beautiful. it made me sad because ive never had that good of sex lol. your writing was fantastic, everything felt so real and i think you waited until the perfect time in their story for this to happen. you did a fantastic job! Thanks for sharing it with us! :)

Anonymous said: that ending killed me oh my gosh. im smiling like an idiot

Anonymous said: I can't believe it's almost over. It's so amazing and I love it so much and I'm just so sad and happy and idk man. You've done it, like really done it, knocked it out of the park. I'm experiencing such a wide array of emotions and I seriously don't know what to do.

Anonymous said: Me right now: 😭😃😥😍😖🤯😵😏😱😫😘😞😁

Anonymous said: literally one of the most satisfying things i have ever read. you did it. you gone dun it. cannot remember why i wanted them to get down when she was 18 anymore haaa. This is oh so very right. All equal parts sexy, sweet, hot, beautiful. Thank you from the bottom of my reylo heart. what will i do without these two and your updates!!?! excuse me while i re read this chapter for the 4th time. because duhhhhhhhh

Anonymous said: lemme just say my thoughts on the last chapter- aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH im telling you now im gonna cry like a baby when WCPAH is over bc it's been such a wonderful ride and ive been around since chapter 1 was posted and i stumbled across the then baby fic and had never listened to the music Ben and rey do until recently and i found chapter 1 to be cute so i thought id stick around for chapter 2 totally unaware that almost 60 chapters later i myself not wanting it to end. Thank you for this❤

Anonymous said: literally cried when I saw you updated. woman you have done it. you wrote possibly the best smut/fan fiction these eyes have ever read. blown away from the way you lived up to hype for this sex scene- like surpassed my wildest expectations&gave us perfection. ben was so eager, aggressive&gentle all at the same time. we could count on rey to take matters into her own hands. girl knows what she wants. cannot wait for them to fill the house with their art, memories, milkshake machine, dogs&kiddos.

Anonymous said: So, it took me about half an hour to read through this chapter (56), because I had to stop to internally scream, or digest the fact that IT(!!) was finally happen like every two words. Words cannot describe the satisfaction that this chapter gave me. FUCKING FINALLY!!!!! You killed it, as per usual, and I am continuously in awe of your skill. I’m not ready for this to be over, but thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for letting us come along on this ride with you, and Ben and Rey. ❤️

Anonymous said: Idk if this is gonna sound really fucking lame to you, but your story gave me a reason to look forward to a new day, thank you for this! I am so glad i found your story, you had me at "90s grunge Ben Solo"

Anonymous said: First of all, I love you. Second of all, you are a master and a bloody wizard. Third, the last chapter from Ben's POV would make me die and go to heaven. I want to know his thoughts and feelings during *the scene*. Is that on the horizon? If not, that's ok - I'm happy with anything you give us! My brain keeps going over all the saucy details and starts fluttering when I think about what might come next. Sorry for being weird but I FEEL SO MANY EMOTIONS AND IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU.

Anonymous said: That was some pretty dope as shit smut Bethany like holy fuck

Anonymous said: that was literally the best sex scene I have ever read. so real and complex!! favorite fic of all time for sure

Anonymous said: your story came out on week two of my multi month bed-rest-ploza. i have been reading and healing along with these two ever since. thank you for the fluff, distraction, angst, music suggestions and companionship from your story and the world you created. this last update was everything i could have wanted and more. so sad that this story is wrapping up soon. excited to see where you take these two and reading more of your stories. <3

Anonymous said: I just wanna say that 'we could plant a house' was such an important story for me. It actually inspired me to write again IT WAS JUST THAT GOOD. I love you and I want to thank you for sharing this beautiful, heartbreaking fic with us what a fucking blessing honestly you're a goddess, never stop writing ❤️ And like yo when's the next update I'm dying

Anonymous said: Okay so I’ve been here from about the beginning and omg what am I going to do without this fic?! This is definitely my favourite reylo fic and what am I going to read once it’s gone?! I love it so much!!

You are all beautiful, wonderful people. Sometimes it overwhelms me (in a good way) when y’all say that this story helped you through a rough time or inspired you to write/do art again, because it’s so surreal that my silly fic I started in January to get out my Reylo angst and give me an excuse to listen to a lot of 90′s music could possibly have this effect on others. I’m so glad my work means this much to you guys, that you guys have continued to read despite how many times I came for your feels or made you cry. You guys mean the world to me; it’s been so lovely getting to go on this journey with you all. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do once it’s finished. Be very depressed, I expect. We can all send each other virtual hugs and cookies <3

[blush-and-books]

Kyle & Emma: Camsten is happening this season!!!! We are SO excited for y'all to see it you're gonna be SO happy

Camsten: *barely makes it 3 episodes with no road blocks, barely 5 episodes with no fights*

Me: wOW cAMstEn ReALLy TUrNed uP fOr THe sEAsOn TheYRE sO CuTE wAIT a SEc THeyRe fIghTINg aGAIn oOps wE HavE bEEn FEd FALSE INFORMATION *dun dun duhhhhhhhh*

[gingerly-writing]

5 and 6 for the ask meme, please!

Thank youuuuuuuuuuu!

5. post a line from your current project without any context

It’s a first draft, entirely unedited and therefore hella unpolished, but:

“You're asking me to steal from Captain Olliver Kanvar.” Her gut dropped at the mere thought. “You're asking me to steal from the very man trying to catch me. Jade, you're asking me to risk both of our lives.”

Dun dun dun duhhhhhhhh. And, just to cheat:

Any idea of romance had been a self-constructed fantasy, a lie she had spun for herself for so long she had almost believed it. She had been a fool.

6. how do you get through writers’ block

This...is a hard one for me to advise on. I tend to ‘power through’, which isn’t at all helpful advice for most people. I shove shitty writing, purple prose and clunky dialogue down on the page until I’ve trudged through the sentence, paragraph, or scene that’s giving me trouble. Right now, I can’t get General Ash to do anything remotely impressive, which is a pain because he’s supposed to be an above-average combatant and a brilliant, continent-renowned strategist. But I’ve got to keep on writing, to hit my daily wordcount goal (500 words) if nothing else. Actually decent writing is what second (and third and fourth and fifth) drafts are for, right? (God, I hope so).

Thanks for the ask, I’m presuming you also reblogged it and I’ll pop around with some questions soon! xx

[punkdeaf]

the gay™ troll is kanaya that's what I'm asking m8888

theyre all gay but shes the gayest ur right,,, how could i have been a fool

My OTP: rosekan. dun dun duhhhhhhhhMy NOTP: kanaya x Any Boy. also kanvrisMy BROTP: kanaya karkat and kanaya feferiThe ship I am ashamed to ship: n/aThe ship I wish would have happened: kanaya karkat

send me a character

[blkhert-blog]

The long read: Swedens literary elite has been thrown into disarray by allegations of sexual harassment and corruption Dun Dun Duhhhhhhhh! In the eyes of its members, there is no more important cultural institution in the world than the Swedish Academy. The members, who call themselves The Eighteen (always in capitals), are elected for life […]