#dumbest shit ever invented

[snazzymolasses]

Another problem of gender segregation that has nothing to do with trans issues is what do fathers with young daughters do when they need to use the public bathroom?

Nobody freaks out when a woman takes her 4-year-old son into the women's room. Women are expected to be caregivers and nobody's going to claim a 4-year-old is a 'man'.

Now what about a father with a 4-year-old daughter who needs to use the potty at Target?

Can he, a scary man, go into the women's restroom!?!? Or should he take his 'innocent' 4-year-old little girl into the men's room where she can see possibly dozens of scary men who are actively peeing? Or should he send the 4-year-old into the women's room alone...even though she's just started to learn how to potty and still needs help?

And while we're at it, at what age should a woman start sending her son into public restrooms alone? Is a 10-year-old boy safe in a train station men's bathroom alone?

Most NORMAL people recognize these dilemmas and allow an 'exception' for children of the 'wrong' gender to be in the 'wrong' bathroom- and nobody has gotten hurt by this! People have been doing it since public bathrooms became a thing! People recognize the need for young children to be with an adult while going potty and don't bat an eye if the parent and child are different genders, therefore making one of them be in the 'wrong' bathroom.

So if you can handle the idea of a father taking his little daughter into the men's room to help her go potty, and of alllllllllll the grown men she saw in the bathroom, and SHE was JUST FINE, then why can't you, a grown-ass ADULT woman, handle the sight of ONE 'man' in your bathroom?'

In that case, grow the fuck down. Get the mental resiliency of a toddler, please.

you know i think i’ve come to the conclusion that the answer to “but what if a cis woman is traumatized by men/male presenting people/whatever?” irt safe spaces is this: if you can’t be in the same room with someone you assume to be male or a man without feeling triggered, it probably means you have a lot more solo therapy and healing to do before relying on group therapy or other communal healing.

because how do you decide who gets to stay and who gets kicked out based on a cis woman’s trauma response? is it based on appearance? should intersex women with facial hair not be allowed because beards are triggering? should butches and studs not be allowed because masculinity is triggering? should talk broad shouldered trans women who don’t want to voice train not be allowed because low voices are triggering? is it based on identity? should a pre transition trans man who came out two days ago not be allowed because he’s a man? is a nonbinary person with a full beard and deep voice allowed because they are not a man?

because if you base your entire set of rules for who’s not allowed in the safe space on what makes cis women uncomfortable or triggers them, you’ve just made that space unsafe for trans people. and you need to decide if you’re ready to own that.

[sakebytheriver]

We really lost the battle when we let those paranormal/mysticism types frame the fact that nonbelievers never encounter that shit because the ghosts know you don't believe in them so they avoid you rather than the actual fact of the matter being that the human brain is a complicated mess of squishy organic material and neurons that will reinforce your already held beliefs by inventing evidence that wasn't there in reality

Like we really just lost the whole battle right then and there, probably one of the most culty things people who believe in the paranormal and mysticism say

[xineohps-nonsense]

I love jeopardizing my college career by angrily responding to the school board president every time she sends out an email about my school's pro-palestine rally last week!!

[iteh3xael]

“Back in the eighties dungeons were becoming a thing in New York. Guys would pay a lot of money to come there and have some dominatrix tell them what to do. I was making leather pencil skirts for a lot of the doms, with holes in the back so that guys could kiss their ass. One day I was fitting a dom named Asia, and I told her: ‘I bet I could make more money than you without wearing stuff like this.’ She bet me I couldn’t. It was all a big goof. But then I started really thinking about it. Asia was making $150 a session, and that was real money. So I did the same thing I always do when I get an idea. I just ran an ad in the back of the Village Voice. Most of these girls were advertising how young they were. So I used the word ‘mature.’ And I figured out how to write ‘Jewish Guys Welcome’ in Yiddish, and I put that at the bottom. It was some of the easiest money I ever made. I never let them touch me. All I had to do was be a bossy black woman. And I could do that easy because my mother had been such a bitch. I’d pretend to be a school teacher, or a nanny. It was the dumbest shit. I just kept inventing crazy scenarios. And the crazier the scenario, the more money I made. One time I heard about a dom on the Upper East Side who charged $3,000 a week to kidnap a guy and lock him in her basement. I didn’t have a basement, but I knew a limo driver named Dean who liked to hustle like me. So every time I got a call from a new client, I’d say: ‘You want to be kidnapped, don’t you?’ And he’d start stuttering like: ‘Duh, duh, duh, duh.’ And I’d say: ‘Listen to me closely. Stand on the corner of 5th and 18th tomorrow at 3 pm. Don’t be late.’ Then I’d call Dean and tell him the plan. It was always easy to spot the guy. He’d be the one checking his watch and looking scared as shit. So we’d roll up in the limo, grab him by the collar, and pull him inside. Then I’d lock the doors and start telling him what to do. Everything went down in the back of the limo. Dean just rolled up the partition and kept his eyes on the road. At the end I’d give him $100, because I was getting $250 for that.”

[nekropsii]

Small Atomic Ask Bomb!!

I've got a bunch of short asks that I'd hate to spam the dash with individually, so I'll just put 'em here, under the cut!!

Content Warning: Long, Brief Discussions of Racism, Misogyny, Grooming, Brief Mentions of Incest and Pedophilia in Fanfiction.

I've always been a hater, and I honestly don't really think it's a bad thing - not as much as everyone says, at least! I think being kind of a bitch about things that don't matter is good for you, actually. Gets the urge to be angry out in a way that's healthier than just snapping at people in critical moments. I also just think being strong and passionate in your convictions is good for you. Being a hater gives you a spine if you do it right, and it fires a gunshot and scatters people you don't really want to be around. It also has the funny side effect of people thinking I take things way more seriously than I do, just because I'm opinionated and will state said opinions clearly. Big fan of this meme:

This is me.

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I used to peek in there every now and then, just to be nosy. Incest at the top, always. Or straight up pedo shit. Sigh. Looked in the Mituna tag a couple times. CroTuna fucking nightmare hell dimension, always. Or KanTuna, which I also have gripes with. Or KanMiTula, which I have even more gripes with.

It is my understanding that the state of Homestuck fanfiction hasn't gotten much better since the 2010s. Everyone is wrong and no one is normal. Sad.

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I don't know if the mere act of only making Jade and Jake brown out of all the Kids is Racist on its own, per se, but it is kinda silly in the sense that, you know, John and Jade are siblings, so realistically they'd look similar. And... People absolutely do get racist about it. Like, making Jade and Jake uniquely huge, hairy, threatening, and oddly shaped - gangly in the context of Jade, buff as hell in the context of Jake. I've seen some SEVERELY racist drawings where Jade and/or Jake were the only hints of melanin in the Kid line up and... Oh my god. It can get to straight up caricature levels. Watermelons and everything. Just comedically racist.

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Genuinely one of the dumbest fucking things in the world. People will say literally anything. Saying Damara isn't Japanese is on par with calling Porrim a fucking Men's Rights Activist. It's a funny little claim people who are grievously wrong say as a condemnation of the Alpha Trolls for no reason. Why. To look smart? To fit in? Dumbass. Notice how they always have to invent bullshit lies to critique anything instead of just saying things that are true. It really frustrates me how 99.9% of Alpha Troll criticism just isn't at all legitimate when there's some real, genuine issues you could critique. It's stupid horseshit. I hate it so badly.

I don't actually care whether or not someone likes the Alpha Trolls, but at least hate them accurately. Come on.

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@sleepy-apparition

Everyone is so, so quick to turn a blind eye to just how violently misogynistic Kankri is, lmfao. Genuinely, I don't think I've ever seen anyone other than myself bring up the fact that he's an avid Slut-Shamer in the modern day. Other than that, I only really saw older Mituna fanatics bring it up over in the early-mid 2010s, but none of them are around these days.

Genuinely, some of the shit he says is so appalling, lol. Kankri FULLY deserves to get his ass beat.

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I have said this before but I'll say it again - I do not think a Red Romantic Relationship will fix Dirk, or even really help him all that much. Before he gets into a RedRom, he needs some therapy, a break, and mood stabilizers.

However, I'm thoroughly of the opinion that a good BlackRom could work wonders on him, way more than a RedRom would. I think a solid, established Pitch Relationship with, like, Caliborn would be genuinely great for him, both mentally and in a Character Development sense. I hold zero interest in watching Dirk and Jake badly fumble a traditional romantic relationship - that notion is painful to me. ... But I do think I could read a full Intermission's worth of Dirk and Caliborn fucking around and not get tired of it once. They have a fantastic dynamic. It'd be good for Caliborn, too, I think.

This has been my Dirkuu propaganda bit. Thank you.

Also, the Voyeuristic feel of how people handle his Mental Illness. It makes me uncomfortable.

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True. I don't have any other remarks to make about this, you're just correct. True.

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... Fuckin'... Why, though? What- what's the appeal? There's nothing there. I literally cannot conceive any way in which that would be compelling, and I'd say Hal and Kankri are pretty high up there in the list of Male Homestuck Characters I Enjoy.

People will do anything but pay attention to Female Characters for five minutes. God. Lol.

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It's literally just DaveKat 2. I don't think it even qualifies as a Crack Ship when it's just a variant of The Fandom's Most Darling M/M OTP. It's just a deeply mid RarePair. Crack Ship would be, like, Dirk Strider x Rainbow Dash.

Dirk x RD was a popular Crack Ship, sure, but it's still a Crack Ship on basis of being a Crossover Pairing.

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I can't recall any specific instances of seeing this myself, but I'll believe it. People will do anything except be normal about Vriska. People will fight the war against Vriska on the side of and against Vriska at the same time. People will call her a Huge 8itch but then call her pathetic when she stops being a Huge 8itch.

We love Misogyny, I guess.

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Well, he is based on Tumblr, after all. Particularly how dogshit the politics are on here. Of course he would. He'd do numbers on here, considering his Woke Hate Speech.

It's called Bubblr, by the way. Like, canonically. We do know what it's called.

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It's actually based on the Three Wise Monkeys. You know, that old Japanese Proverb that goes "See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil"? That.

Kurloz is Speak No Evil, Meulin is Hear No Evil, Mituna is See No Evil.

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Great Question. My personal guess is that he's a little too nuanced for a lot of people to be comfortable with handling. He throws out too much surface-level Bigotry that people aren't willing to ignore because it isn't Racism for many to feel comfortable making him their Blorbo. When Dave says the N-Word and talks about how fucking Racist he is and it literally never gets acknowledged or resolved, that's fine and dandy, but god forbid Caliborn be a Misogynist in the funniest way possible AND have that get acknowledged literally constantly as a problem. The fact that Caliborn isn't a Fuckable White 13-Year-Old Twink means none of his crimes are ever forgivable because he's ugly and unshippable, or whatever.

The fact that he's Mentally Disabled doesn't help. People can't fucking STAND IT when a character is Mentally Disabled in a way that isn't Cute and Consumable, much less a character who is Unconsumably Mentally Disabled AND Complicated. It's just not allowed!!

[frostyreturns]

"the tinfoil comes off when you have to imagine the government as smart." This is one of the responses to my post about government having access to technology far beyond the general public. This is a pretty common dismissal of conspiracies and it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard every time I hear it.

A.) What you think the government is and what the government actually is are two different things. This attitude only works if you actually believe the puppet they parade in front of a camera is in charge. Can you honestly tell me you believe that, for example Joe Biden a demented old fuck that doesn't even know where he is...is the one writing and enacting policy right now? You have no idea how smart or how dumb the people in charge are because you don't even know who they are. There's video footage of him signing laws where he says the words "I have no idea what I'm signing." But sure I guess if you're dumb enough to think guys like him are the government I guess thinking the government is too stupid to plan stuff makes sense. The government has so much power and so much control over your life that this idea that they are just too incompetent to plan anything is beyond ridiculous.

Bureaucracy is just one part of government and yeah they're going to have incompetent workers maybe even more than the general public but to say the people in charge are too dumb to plan anything...come on. They were smart enough to trick you into allowing them to steal from you every week, to control your entire education and to be able to send armed men to kill or imprison you if you do anything they don't like.

B.) You know Hanlons razor "never attribue to malice what can be explained by stupidity" well that's retard shit go ahead and reject that premise in totality because reality is actually the opposite of that, the world is full of malice especially when you look to the upper echelons of power....those people are all psychopaths.

You have made the mistake of assuming the terrible things they do are because of stupidity and that they just keep screwing things up by mistake...the screwing up is very intentional. Every socialist policy maker who claims "oh I'm raising the minimum wage 5 bucks to fight inflation because I care about the poor" knows 100% that they are causing inflation and that it will make life harder for everyone and especially hard for the poor. They know...they want your life to be harder, they want money and power and wish you harm. It's not a bug it's a feature.

They knew when they went on tv and said get this shot it will save your life and your grandmas life...they knew they would be injecting you with heart attack cancer juice, that was pure unbridled malice, not stupidity.

C.) You understand it's not DMV employees and politicians doing science for the government right? You do understand that when I say the government has tech we don't it's not because I think Justin Trudeau figured out AI before google right? They use those private companies as contractors to develop technology and then control how it is accessed used and if and when and how it is released to the public. Or they just hire the smartest people to do R and D directly for them. Like when they invented the internet at DARPA. But usually they just swoop in and take what they want that someone else created. People also have this idea that major corporations and the government are separate competing entities when they're not. They dump funding into companies and install CEOs and board members to control them. Google for example only exists because of the government, oh did you think google does whatever the government wants purely coincidentally? The idea of corporations vs government is a fantasy that should have been even more apparent during 2020 when the will of the state was summarily executed by virtually every corporation on the planet.

The idea that people still think the government is separate from corporations after minimum wage employees at walmart were tasked with being bouncers at the door and making sure everyone was wearing a mask had their injection and weren't standing too close to each other because the government told them to ...is ridiculous. 2020 should have been the death of the "private company can do what they want" nonsense.

D.) We tend to use ourselves as barometers of what others are capable of but the problem is there are ways of life and being that are totally foreign to us. Many assume because they are not smart or sociopathic enough to collude and scheme to achieve power and control over others...then nobody must be like that. You went to public school smoked weed the whole time and learned how to write in cursive poorly...I don't think your experience is the same as someone who was born into wealth and power and can spend every minute of their life for generations learning how to keep and amass more wealth and power. You have no idea what it's like to have everything you could ever ask for, all the money you could have to indulge any whim and get weird and disconnected because of it and to feel entitled and superior and spend your days trying to exert your will on the rest of the world. That's not even going into any secret cults or organizations...which are also a thing.

Embracing the tinfoil is the only rational way to proceed with what we know. The only alternative is comfortable delusion. And this wasn't even about a wild or hard to swallow reality...it was just the notion that the government is ahead of the consumer market with technology...that's not even a conspiracy it's a demonstrable fact.

[brattylikestoeat]

I just saw someone on TikTok say that birthdays were invented by satanic pagans because you light candles, do spellwork (birthday wishes) and ritual chanting (singing happy birthday). What's the dumbest thing you've ever seen on TikTok?

It’s literally happening right now on TikTok. But the dumbest shit I ever seen was people believing that an old white woman from the Deep South, and a white cop from the Deep South were anything but conservative.

This lady name mamatot gained millions of followers by speaking softly and saying she was on the lgbt side. Only for her to be a republican. She a white woman from the south why would she be anything but? But people in TikTok was were shocked.

Same with the white cop. Just because he talked in a blaccent he was cool. That man is a republican.

Republicans are not cookie cutters. You will find some who support lgtb, abortion rights, ect… they are still republican at the end of the day.

[danganronpama]

MIU IRUMA’S TOTALLY FUCKING REAL INTERVIEW

🎥 A Self-Produced Documentary by Miu Iruma, Starring Miu Iruma, Directed by Miu Iruma, and Written by The Supreme Queen of Brains and Booty, Miu Iruma 🎬✨

[Setting: Classroom, Everyone is Forced to Watch]

The lights dim, and the projector screen flickers on.

The words "The Iruma Experience™" flash across the screen in bright neon letters, followed by a dramatic slow-motion montage of Miu posing with her inventions—all while a very obvious, over-the-top heavy metal track plays in the background.

The camera zooms in on Miu, sitting on a chair, goggles on, arms crossed, looking extremely pleased with herself.

Then—

A DEEP, MANLY VOICE BEGINS SPEAKING

Interviewer: "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TODAY WE HAVE A HISTORIC FUCKING INTERVIEW WITH THE GREATEST GENIUS KNOWN TO MANKIND, THE ULTIMATE INVENTOR, THE GODDESS OF INTELLIGENCE, OWNER OF THE WORLD’S FINEST RACK, AND BEST IN THE SACK—MIU IRUMA!"

Miu dramatically nods, adjusting her goggles.

QUESTION 1

Interviewer: "Miu, what is it like to be so much more intelligent than your classmates, who, let’s be honest, are barely functioning organisms?"

Miu Iruma: "OH-HO-HO! FANTASTIC FUCKIN’ QUESTION, MR. TOTALLY HUNK INTERVIEWER! I swear, I’m basically a once-in-a-generation supergenius trapped in a world of slack-jawed idiots!, lemme tell ya! Every morning, I wake up, look in the mirror, and think, ‘Wow, these dumbass plebs would literally be drowning in their own drool without me around!’ It’s a tough job being this smart AND this hot, but SOMEONE’S gotta do it!"

[Classroom Reactions]:

[Kaede]: "Oh god, this is going to last an hour, isn’t it?"

[Shuichi]: "I can’t believe we’re being forced to watch this."

[Kokichi]: "PFFT—This is the best thing I’ve ever seen! Miu, you should do interviews every day!"

QUESTION 2

Interviewer: "Miu, everyone in this school is obviously madly in love with you. Tell us, what is it like being a beacon of beauty and brains, the whole package rolled into one… some might even say, the Ultimate Bombshell?"

Miu tilts her head dramatically, sighing like a burdened goddess.

Miu Iruma: "Ohhh, interviewer, ya get me! FINALLY, someone acknowledges my daily struggles! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DAMN HARD IT IS BEING THIS PERFECT?! Almost as HARD as these horny little shits I catch staring at me CONSTANTLY!"

Interviewer: "Even Shuichi Saihara?"

Miu Iruma: "E—FUCKING—SPECIALLY Shuichi Saihara! I’ve seen the way he looks at me—ALL LONGING AND FULL OF FUCKING DESIRE."

[Shuichi (offscreen)]: "WHAT?! NO, I DON’T!"

[Miu (pauses video, points at Shuichi]: "DENIAL IS THE FIRST FUCKING STAGE, SAIHARA! JUST CONFESS ALREADY!"

[Kaede]: "Miu, get back to the video!"

[Miu]: "TCH. FINE. BUT WE'RE NOT DROPPIN' THIS CONVERSATION, DETECTIVE SIMP-HARA!"

She presses play, and the video continues.

QUESTION 3

Interviewer: "Miu, as the most intelligent being on the planet, who would you say is the DUMBEST dipshit among your class?"

Miu taps her chin, dramatically pondering.

Miu Iruma: "Hmmm… SO MANY OPTIONS. There’s Kaito ‘LAME-INARY OF THE STARS’, who thinks you can punch your way out of a physics problem."

[Kaito]:"Hey?! The hell kinda title is that?!"

Miu Iruma: "There’s TENCROTCH, who acts like touching a guy would set her on fucking fire."

[Tenko]:"WELL, CAN YOU BLAME ME?! SETTING PEOPLE ON FIRE SOUNDS LIKE EXACTLY THE KIND OF THING A DEGENERATE MALE WOULD DO!"

Miu Iruma: "But if I had to pick the TRUE, UNDISPUTED KING OF DUMBASSES…"

She leans forward, grinning.

Miu Iruma: "KAEEEDE! OR SHOULD I SAY—BAKAMATSU! AND YOU WANNA KNOW WHY THAT'S HER NAME?! CUZ SHE'S A FUCKING DUMBASS!"

[Kaede (offscreen)]: "…Excuse me?!"

Interviewer: "Miu, please, do enlighten us. Hearing Kaediot get roasted is just too damn entertaining."

Miu Iruma: "OH-HO-HO, HAPPILY! BAKAMATSU’S WHOLE THING IS ‘I PLAY THE PIANO’—LIKE, WHOOP-DEE-FUCKIN’-DOO! BUT WHAT DOES THAT DO IN A REAL CRISIS?! HUH?! YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA POUND OUT A CHOPIN PIECE AND MAGICALLY FIX EVERYTHING?!"

[Kaede]: "W-WHAT THE HELL, MIU?! MUSIC CAN BE REALLY POWERFUL!"

[Miu]: "OH YEAH?! WHEN SHIT HITS THE FAN, YOU THINK BUSTING OUT A SONATA’S GONNA SAVE YOUR ASS?! ‘OH NO, A DISASTER! QUICK, SOMEONE PLAY ME A LITTLE FUCKIN’ MOZART!’"

[Kaede]: "I—IT CAN BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER!"

[Miu]: "SO CAN FREE FOOD, BUT YOU DON’T SEE ME HAULIN’ AROUND A BUFFET TABLE LIKE IT’S A PERSONALITY TRAIT!"

[Kaede]: "THAT’S NOT THE SAME THING AT ALL!"

[Miu]: "YOU CAN’T EAT A GODDAMN SONATA, BAKAMATSU!"

[Kaede]: "WHY DO YOU KEEP BRINGING UP FOOD?! THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!"

[Miu]: "CUZ I’M SMARTER THAN YOU, THAT’S WHY!"

[Kaede]: "I—I HATE THAT I CAN’T ARGUE WITH THAT!"

[Miu]: "DAMN RIGHT, BAKAMATSU! YOU EARNED THAT NAME FOR A FUCKIN’ REASON!"

QUESTION 4

Interviewer: "Miu, your greatness is undeniable, and surely this is the best damn interview of all time—"

[Rantaro (offscreen)]: "Okay, wait. Pause." [Miu]: "THE HELL DO YOU WANT GREEN BEAN, THIS IS THE BEST PART?!"

[Rantaro]: "Nobody talks like that. There is absolutely no way a real person interviewed you."

[Shuichi]: "Yeah, I was thinking that for a while too. Who would actually sit down and ask Miu this many questions?"

[Kaito]: "Wait a second… Miu, is that YOU doing the voice?!"

[Miu]: "WHAT?! NO, SHUT UP!"

[Himiko]: "Nyeh… that's pretty low, Miu. Even for you."

[Miu]: "I—I—I HAVE A DEEP-VOICED INTERVIEWER FRIEND, OKAY?! Y-YOU JUST DON’T KNOW THEM! THEY GO TO ANOTHER FUCKING SCHOOL!"

[Kokichi]: "Ooooh, Miu, did your ‘interviewer friend’ just happen to have the exact same insufferable, delusional, attention-starved energy as you? What are the odds?!"

[Kaede]: "So, I’m the DUMBEST one here because I play the piano, and YOU are the GENIUS who made up an ENTIRE FAKE INTERVIEWER?!"

[Miu]: "TCH! FINE! BUT WHEN I’M RICH, FAMOUS, AND GETTING MY TITS 3D-PRINTED ONTO A STATUE, DON’T COME CRAWLING TO ME, YOU TALENTLESS FUCKS!"

[sibyl-of-space]

i love final fantasy 8 and shadow the hedgehog so much and it is so hard to talk about them on the internet because everyone who likes them is either like

"i know this game has flaws BUT" - shut up, i came here to talk about how much fun i am having blowing up the president's escape pod as a hedgehog and to discuss the bonkers ambitious narrative design concept. every game has flaws. who gives a shit

or

"actually, people who don't like this game don't understand [some conclusion you could only arrive at via 37284 layers of meta-fan-theory that is utterly divorced from what is present in the source material]" - excuse me, what are you on about

anyway, I am here to reaffirm my Correct Take on these games:

they are fun as hell

they have fascinating and truly one-of-a-kind concepts

they have some of the dumbest narrative beats ever put to paper, stated somehow with full sincerity

this is part of the charm

they ALSO have moments of genuinely brilliant gameplay-aesthetic-thematic cohesion that rival the best of the best

and set out to do something really interesting/ambitious

how does one game have so much to offer

holy shit, guns and swords are cool

you are hereby freed from prefacing your enjoyment of games that are awesome and also kind of dumb with a statement about how they're actually bad. or from trying to justify liking it by inventing stuff that's just not there. go unapologetically enjoy shit that's kind of dumb, it's good for you

[vanilla0chinchilla]

There's a book called the Eternal Enemy, which is basically "What if Kromer was the man character, and went back in time to seduce her grandpa Also, she's a million times more insufferable?!".

It's about this girl, Rela, who lives in the far off year of 2035, where the world has gone to shit. Everything is polluted, people are dying and starving, except for her. Her grandpa is a rich scientist who is able to keep his family in one of the few nice areas and feeds them food off the black market.

One day, grandpa goes to Rela and tells her "Hey, I created cyborgs who can time travel, and in the future the Earth is back to being nice with actual trees and stuff, everyone is having a good time... But, everyone is cyborgs." Rela pisses herself with rage. "To be human is to suffer!" she cries from her beach front house while the rest of the world is dying.

She then kills herself so that her grandpa will turn her into a cyborg, so she can go back to the 90s and kill her grandpa when he was a highschooler. However, her memories get messed up and she ends up falling in love with him, this isn't a big deal. What is a big deal is that future cyborg grandpa comes after her, and he's all cold and scary, which justifies her whole screed about "cyborgs bad" even though she act like a normal human (there is some nonsense about "I have myself some green slime before I killed myself and that saved my personality, but we can't just let all cyborgs do that, cause IDK)

Cyborg grandpa kills Rela, but she uses her nanomachines to leave a message on a VCR tape (said VCR was like a huge plot device though most of the novel) and then he young grandpa sees is and goes "I'll never become like cyborg grandpa!"

So I guess everything still goes to shit. Good job saving humanity! I hope someone else invents cyborgs and they don't have the dumbest grand daughter ever.

Like really, I had such a grudge against this book, Canto 3 of Limbus Company is scratching a serious itch I've had in my brain for like two decades.

Also, grandpa had the same first name as the author.

[toytle]

oc tag game

stolen from @faemothra!

favorite oc: adri or dayta (they have sm in common that it’s uncanny, but what’s even weirder is that sam was the one to invent adri, so all that shit was pure coincidence. us when our ocs are the unwilling heirs to the ceo throne of Evil Sci-Fi Corp and have parent issues and belong in a set of twins, of which one runs away, and engineer experiments on themselves and exist as anachronisms at the points that their stories take place. ALSO BISEXUAL?? what a specific trope…)

newest oc: chickadee aka kadee for a dnd campaign i joined! (yes it’s exactly what it looks like)

oldest oc: rainbow girl (created when i was 7, no art remains but imagine kinda like this)

meanest oc: ada v1 or ai (no longer in use)

softest oc: idk how to measure this. joel ig? bc he’s like 7

dumbest oc: hibi (i don’t think i ever established them as “dumb” but tbh i never wrote a single thought in that head)

smartest oc: adri, pft whatta nerd

oc i’d probably be friends with: meta for sure! i feel like we’d have hours and hours of conversation abt nothing. shame i couldn’t fit him into the fave portion, he’s honestly top 3 for me. meta nation rise up‼️

tagging @1percentcharge and @forvalaka (if you want!), as well as anyone else that wants to do this! i’d love to see everyone’s ocs :]

[sendmyresignation]

Favorite Albums of 2023 ^_^

To celebrate the coming of a new year, I wanted to spend this first week looking back a bit at the things I enjoyed both old and new. So I put together a little list of albums I spent a lot of time with this year, for a bit of personal posterity, a little of getting into the groove with music writing on a very conversational but nonetheless sincere level, and also just because I enjoy, on a base level, the exchange of music. So hopefully one person will give a new album a try, or somebody will tell me their favorite thing they listened to in 2023. That's all you can ever hope for <3

Here's the albums I loved that came out in 2023 itself:

100 gecs 10,000 gecs: If I’m honest with myself- my album of the year, both in what I spent the most time with and the tracks I’d hold up the most fondly by the end of the year. the high-octane blast of creativity in these short, sweet, never dull, and always inventive bursts made listening a very joyful experience. Hollywood Baby and Dumbest Girl Alive bangers of the year though one million dollars just oooozes and chirps sounds in the most satisfying way.

 Paramore This is Why: very much preaching to the choir with this one. undeniable groove through everything– the whole thing brims with contained energy- like trapping a storm cloud in a bottle and displaying it like it's no big deal and then, every once in a while, electricity arcs through the room. The only issue is it ends on a bit of a weak note, with back-to-back ballads I don’t revisit often. but it's a minor quibble, they’re both distinct enough to stand on their own and neither is insufferably long. forgivable transgression.

Kesha Gag Order: This is self-explanatory, to me. Kesha was the first artist I ever truly fell in love with and everything she makes is like watching a flower bloom over and over again as I grow and change and wither and regrow right alongside. But on top of that, the record itself is so. powerful. Not in the cheap, congratulatory “you’re so brave way” but in the energy it radiates, in the way it stands its ground over and over. the way it grasps its own story by the throat and still lets you peak into all the messy pieces sliding out over the knuckles. Happy is one of those truly great album closers, but the whole album is so solid. 

Vastum Inward to Gethsemane: Absolutely crushing in just about every way, This is like, the platonic ideal of death metal for me. Dense and malevolent as fuck, but there’s still room for these nasty riffs buried deep in all the disgusting muck. That opening guitar on Priapic Chasm is the sickest 8 seconds of the year. 

The Gauntlet Dark Steel and Fire: At first glance, this seems like a textbook Bathory clone. And even if it was just that it’d still be amazing, I love that sound. But there’s space! and dynamic growth! And a growling echoing personality that every other standard in this space just never attempts. Even the hints of black ‘n’ roll and thrash are expanding a series of very narrow spaces– there are these mid-tempo stadium rippers scattered throughout the album that give the whole project gravitas which loops around and gives the faster stuff more swagger and aggression. really cool record.

McKinley Dixon Beloved! Paradise! Jazz?: I checked this out because McKinley Dixon has a great featured verse on Soul Glo’s Spiritual Level of Gang Shit. To make matters worse (or better, in terms of Shit I Am Interested In), the record’s named after Toni Morrison novels. To make it even crazier Hanif Abdurraqib opens the record (he reads this really beautiful passage of Jazz that's sampled later). An album so supremely up my alley I was almost scared the pieces wouldn’t fall together– they did! It's incredible! it's short but each second is purposeful and lush in a way that speaks to measure and care. the jazz isn’t just beautiful, it's a full embracing of the album’s central conceits (not just the Morrison, but the typography of cities, the people in them and the lives they live) and Dixon just oozes poetic ingenuity. Repetition is one of the best devices in his toolkit and nowhere is that more apparent than Tyler Forever which. man.... really really good project.  

Tresspasser Αποκάλυψισ: catchy-as-fuck. not what you’d expect from an album which is very explicitly about debt strikes and anarchy. usually RABM (red and anarchist black metal) leaves me a little cold, a lot of bands in this loose conglomerate aren’t musically inventive. rabm isn't just a stand-in for anti-fascist bands, the projects associated with the label are usually politically lyrically explicit (sometimes in ways that are overtly shocking or simply following a trend). which is nice! and necessary in black metal. but it doesn't automatically make it… good. trespasser have always stood out within that paradigm. clearly grounded in what actually works in black metal (the drumming across their albums is crazy kick ass in particular) and i find myself humming some of these tracks which is such a hard skill to pull off in melodic black metal without being dull or predictable.  

MEURTRIERES Ronde de Nuit: very surprisingly, a lot of this list ended up including black metal, which is uncharacteristic of me. but thankfully, MEURTRIERES is much more aligned with my tastes– epic old-school heavy metal with that galloping Maiden-esque bass and fiery, straining vocals that sit so expertly in the groove and then just push and push and push against it. simple, enjoyable, energetic.

Home Is Where the whaler: At its most basic level this is like. what emo can pull off when it wants to sound incredible. The swirling layers, the inclusion of shit like horns, the abrasive but catchy screams, crashes in and out of earshot, the rhythms!!! this is a very 2023 album, thematically and that's important and immediately apparent, but it's going to last much longer just with how the sound works and works and works until you find yourself continuously coming back, listening to it out of the blue.

Thantifaxath Hive Mind Narcosis: quote-unquote dissonant metal is so hit or miss for me. dissonance is oft a cover for boring, or unoriginal material that hangs its lapels on being disorienting or impenetrable. but when the tone is just right it swallows you up. Thantifaxath got the tone right; I was listening to this a lot while reading or writing during the latter half of the year because it just becomes a part of your world in such a wonderful, subsuming way. I really love these vocals too, they’re vaguely inhuman in a way that pairs so exactly with the balance of spacey and gross earthy magic, outside the world and grounded in flesh simultaneously. 

Crotaline The Hemipenes Demo: This is my friends’ band. They are cool and talented and I love first-wave black metal. They are also people whose projects I listen to in a fundamentally different way; when they pull something off it's a little bit life-changing because you know that person, you’ve seen them do human things! And then they are capable of great art. It's weird and disorienting and one of the best parts of being alive. But I do also think their demo is good without quantifiers, it's exactly what they wanted, it's got riffs that sound gnarly on tape, and it's dedicated to salamanders. like what else could you need in life?

Dawn’s Reflection Demo MMXXIII: This short little demo is a perfect burst of raw-ass lo-fi black metal. Which I usually cannot stand. but for some reason is just incredible here. I think it's the way the riffs and vocals interact– there’s these really solid, almost crust-punky guitar lines that shine perfectly in this kind of (basically non-existent) production. And then the vocals just completely rip over them in the loudest most batshit way possible, but there are always pauses that allow the instrumental to recalibrate. The synths are just a fun touch that drone in the back until they’re pulled to the fore which makes for these great, dense peaks instead of overwhelming the balance. It works! I am always hooked! 

And here are some new-to-me albums I listened to for the first time in 2023:

Nuclear Death …For Our Dead: Nuclear Death is already a favorite of mine (I feel like I never stop talking about them) but I finally got around to their demos/EPs this year. this one takes the cake, easily. Topping out at under 10 minutes, this record achieves a kind of demented brutality other death metal bands would kill for in a fourth of the time. It's a miasmic stormcloud of a project that proves (as everything they recorded did) that nobody can out-sick Lori Bravo.

Moral Decay To Build an End: This is a couple of kids in the 1990s writing a thrash record. Not notable in and of itself. However, it becomes clear immediately that these technically proficient metalheads are obsessed with emo. Like oldschool dc emocore. And it is thrown into their mix of sonic influences plainly and obviously. It is one of a kind. It shouldn’t work. It probably doesn’t, unless, of course, you are me and obsessed with it. The vocals on this are punky as hell and they work surprisingly well over these speedy, late-stage neoclassical thrash riffs. It's wild. I love it; the gem of the year!

Little Teeth Child Bearing Man: you will either love this or find it insufferable. Mathy emo-y touches, but this is freaky folk through and through. Flits in and out these crazy choral vocal moments and harmonies that fall in and out of comfort-level– lots of borderline screaming (or just gives up the ghost and becomes screaming). Everything devolves but the sense of melody is always lurking out of frame and comes back around to quiet and confessional. Manages artful and cathartic with a lack of grace and a hell of a conviction.

Helen Love Love and Glitter, Hot Days and Musik: the best punk understands punk is pop music. This is why I love this record. Helen Love loooovvess The Ramones, she does. And since she loves them so much she wrote dance music in their honor and got Joey Ramone to feature on the record. Incredible. 

The BellRays Black Lightning: Soul-filled garage punky rock that’s just masterfully loud, catchy, and full of unlimited swagger. Lisa Kekaula’s vocals are clearly grounded in a long, long line of rockers and soul-stirrers but what stands out is her maturity and control which allows for the slow-burners to feel huge and impressive– she’s the center, the burning star of the whole enterprise. 

Chinchilla 101 Italian Hits: this album is weird and, obviously, I love weird. Situated in the already weird San Diego post-hardcore scene, Chinchilla still stand out with their epic song lengths, murky 90s alt-rock depths, and the way Sioban Dixon’s vocals shift endlessly between a distorted fry, throaty shouts, and sweet elongated falsetto. So fun to get lost in these songs. 

Heaven’s Gate Livin’ in Hysteria: German power metal is always good. Heaven’s Gate is so obviously following in Helloween’s footsteps but Helloween is one of the greatest metal bands on planet earth and they execute that Keepers era sound so well they make a little magic themselves. Add onto that an album cover with a dragon smoking a pipe… it's over, it was love at first sight. 

A Few Honorable Mentions (if you've made it this far):

-Corinne Bailey Ray Black Rainbows (mostly here because I got to it wayy late in the year and haven’t sat with it long enough. but this was incredible all the way through)

-Smoulder Violent Creed of Vengence (was initially disappointed by this one and then I finally got a tape player for Christmas and it just… clicked in the new format)

-Be Your Own Pet Mommy (i love, love, loved be your own pet as a teen and seeing them return to music after so long with the same blast of energy is so cool. I just think the album overstays its welcome; the EP they released with just a handful of tracks just puts it into sharper relief too)

-Melissa II (incredible it was just such a good year for black metal it didn’t quite squeeze up there for me)

and that's it for me; Happy New Year may we all find new music to fall in love with in 2024 <3

[dianasaurthemelonlord]

Elon Musk is such a business genius and a smart guy in general that in addition to telling advertisers to fuck off and then suing them, he’d rather lose 40 million Brazilian Twitter Users and what little ad revenue they generate than crackdown on the Right Wing Weirdos spreading misinformation, then closing all Twitter offices in Brazil.

The genius of this unbelievably smart man wraps around into being the dumbest shit ever, or he’s just a moronic hack that cares about virtue signaling to Nazis than actually being a businessman.

Along with people thinking he *invented* electric cars, and everything about the hyperloop and cybertruck, this is among the dumbest shit this genius inventor and titan of industry has done.

[thedawningofthehour]

I was raised Catholic too, Fai, you won't be able to use this one.

When Bambi was on the topic of whether the Yokai would allow more violence in children's content all I could think of was that here in Latin America many kids including me and my uncles grew up with this.

Back in the 80s the local TV stations needed content for kids, however American cartoon licenses were very expensive so they had to use anime, which was cheaper at that time. They did the dubbing with professional actors and censored almost nothing.

That also reminds me that when I was in catechism, once they played the Passion of the Christ, you know, the one that is rated R. We were in elementary school and I was the only one who was uncomfortable about it, and by uncomfortable I mean that I went to cry in a corner, which surprised no one because I was the crybaby of the class.

When I found out about all the changes they made in the English dubbing of several classic anime I immediately thought it was sacrilege and that American kids were pussies.

What, you guys never had assignments to invent new grotesque and detailed tortures to punish sinners in hell? You never had to write your own obituary detailing the saintly events of your life? Every Friday during Lent, you didn't listen to some tape of a woman reading off how Jesus's flesh was stripped off and going into detail about what happens to someone's lungs when they're crucified, while the teacher turned the lights off and made you all sit on the floor alone so you could 'reflect' better?

My elementary school actually didn't like The Passion of the Christ when it came out. Which is weird, considering it was weirdly fundamental for the area we live in. (my mom attended meetings where they discussed whether it was okay for the kids to read Harry Potter and Chronicles of Narnia and she thought it was the dumbest shit ever) The only thing I can think of that might explain that is that the Pope didn't like it. (You were kind of young when he died but people were like...obsessed with John Paul II)

Yeah, I grew up in a very liberal area and my parents weren't really religious so I'll think it didn't really affect me, but then I remember shit like that and go "what the fuck?"

I also remember crying after our principal (who was such a religious nut that even at my elementary school he was forced out of the position after a year) told my class that animals didn't have souls and would never get into heaven. I was upset not only because I didn't want to go to heaven without my pets, (I think this was after we got Angel, but I had another bird before him as well) but my grandfather was a notorious animal lover so I wanted to believe that he had all his pets and then some up there. This guy basically berated me in front of the class for being so childish and stupid to even want that, and told me that my birds didn't actually love me because they didn't have souls and therefore couldn't love. Which-what the fuck? Once I grew up and actually did my own reading I realized that I wasn't being childish at all, this is actually a point of contention with a lot of Christians-Roald Dahl famously became disillusioned with the church after he was told that his daughter Olivia, who died at seven from measles, would not be joined in heaven by her beloved dog. And you know, I still picture my grandpa up in heaven with his arms full of animals, taking care of the pets my family and my cousins' family have lost, fat and laughing in joy with his dozens of pets.

(man, this got off-track)

I mean, some of the censorship made sense. A major thing that was edited out in a lot of shows was guns, and that was because guns are tightly controlled in Japan and there's little chance of Japanese children getting their hands on any. American children, however, most likely have guns in their houses or knew someone who did. There's little risk of a Japanese kid getting their hands on a gun and acting out something they saw on TV, but that isn't true in the US.

It can end up kind of funny though. Like when the edited the guns out of people's hands in Yugioh but just...left them holding invisible guns.

But yeah, the editing out of violence and blood, that was some real 'the sound of children screaming has been removed' bullshit. And I know at least for Yugioh, they edited out a lot of 'occult' stuff to appeal to American Christian sensibilities.

Trust me, we thought it was bullshit too. There would be tons of playground rumors about what happened in the original Japanese cut.

And we all realized that the rice ball wasn't actually a jelly donut.

[dumbestthingiveeverheard]

Dumbest Thing I've Ever Heard: 7/12/2023

Third Place: Charlie Kirk

Reacting to a trailer for the new adult animated series Praise Petey, Kirk tweeted the following today:

Of course, if Kirk had actually watched the trailer, he would have found it was produced by Mike Judge--the conservative cartoonist who is good friends with Alex Jones.

Also, judging (hehe) by the trailer, the cartoon appears to be about a woman who inherited a deranged cult from her father--and is trying to reform it into something nowhere near as evil. The trailer even makes note that the daughter is banning human sacrifices as one of her first acts as leader. If anything, this should make people like Charlie more like to approve the show, not less.

Oh, and somebody in the right-wing Twitter-sphere said Charlie plagiarized his tweet from them.

Second place: Matt Walsh

Remember Matt's truly absurd thread from a few weeks ago which said that the modern transgender rights movement has its roots in Nazism?

Well it turns out that notion has earned a new critic: The far right. Media Matters notes that on yesterday's edition of Fresh & Fit, a right-wing dating podcast found on Rumble which has Nick Fuentes as one of its hosts, this happened during a stream where many of the hosts engaging in denial of the Holocaust:

During the same stream, Gaines and guest Sneako, a Fuentes ally and “manosphere” figure tied to Ye West, justified Nazi book burnings, saying that “when there’s photos of the Nazis burning books, it’s books on homosexuality and transgenderism.”

Sneako then railed against The Daily Wire’s Matt Walsh for saying that transgender identity was invented by Nazi scientists, instead claiming that it was a Jewish conspiracy. He added, “Why would you lie about that? Who told you -- who gave Matt the call? Matt got the call.”

One of my favorite sights has always been the right calling something they don't like Nazism, only for the actual Nazis to inform them they're full of shit.

Winner: Doug Burgum

The North Carolina Governor currently running for President as a Republican has a genius idea to get into the debates: Pay people! You see, in order to get into the Republican debates you need at least 50,000 donations of at least one dollar--so he decided to make a deal where the first 50,000 people to donate one dollar to his campaign will get a twenty dollar gift card of their choice.

You know, people talk about the impact of money in politics--but this is the first time I can think of where we've seen a federal Presidential candidate literally pay people to donate to him. NPR reported today that this might violate prohibitions on straw donations, but even if it does most currently understand that he will not be prosecuted for this--including Burgum, hence why he's doing it openly.

However, the openness of this--put together with the truly pathetic nature of what he's done--is at the very least likely to make voters not support him, which is the only thing that actually matters in an election.

Doug Burgum, you've said the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

[kadolade]

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch: A Highschooler’s Fifteenth Rant

“I want someone provocative and talkative But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower And from what I've heard, with skin, you'll win”

— The Curse Of Curves by Cute Is What We Aim For

So, first day back at school. Oh boy.

By the way, I wrote all the above shit, then my middle finger started spewing blood. Just cleaned it but that was odd.

Anyway, back to what the original point was.

SO! Today was my first day back at school from Christmas break. Ciel explained that our school has Christmas break then we go back and have another week long break, and *that’s* winter break. Which I personally think is the dumbest fucking thing ever. Like, I get that during the two week long break there’s Christmas and New Year’s, and that’s *why* it’s called Christmas break, but the other one being called winter break is kind of dumb. I know winter runs into January, but nobody cares nor recognizes winter for doing that, which makes the naming process stupid. I have no clue how many breaks there are, but I bet there are thousands of names you could use for the break in January. I don’t even know when the break is, for allI know Ciel was fucking lying to me and it’s just spring break. But then again, why do we have to fucking name the breaks?

Okay, craze ramblings aside, I had PE my first semester so this semester I have health in place of PE. I’m not sure if it’s like this everywhere, but it is here so whatever doesn’t matter fuck you.

Anyway, this morning I was standing at the bus stop and it started to fucking rain so my mom (who was standing there with me, ugh, I know, shut up it doesn’t matter fuck you) and I went back over to my house and got in the car, then she drove back to the fucking bus stop, planning to sit in the car until the bus got there.

(Also every time I tried to tell anyone about this—CIEL I’M FUCKING GLARING AT YOU—they immediately went “oh I had to walk in the rain!” Aww, I’m so sorry for that but this fuckin story wasn’t about you! I’m sorry you walked in the rain, but what can I fucking do about that? Why did you even feel the need to butt in to tell me that. I swear anytime I tell this girl something, she always has to say what happened with her and I’m fighting demons to not tell her the amount of fucks I don’t actually give. They literally invented a new number system to explain the negative amount of fucks I give in the current moment. I grew to become the most respected mathematician ever, I out shine Isaac bitch, he licks my fucking boots, and I created that damn number system because nobody could understand how much I didn’t care. Now, though, people don’t butt in to explain their shitty circumstances to me, because I’ve gotten so rich and famous, they all wanna please me and telling me your dumb fucking stories isn’t pleasing me! No money for you! I’m writing you out of the will, dude, sorry but you annoyed me too damn much, don’t even show up to my funeral, you’d make it a circus show at that point.)

Speaking of points, I was going somewhere with this.

Anyway, so the bus came and I refused to exit the car, so my mom drove me to school and I was about 45 minutes late for first period but it’s fine I really don’t care, it’s the first day back. I had my IBT class before PE, and I had friends in my PE class. One of those PE friends (we’ll call her Carrie) is in my IBT class too. Carrie was a new student towards the end of last semester, kind of like how I was new (but I joined half way through first semester) and we have actually THREE CLASSES TOGETHER. We don’t sit by each other in IBT, but at the end of class I was talking to her, and she explained her new health class, and I told her to just follow me and I’ll get her where she needs to be. I promised that we’d still have our PE friends there, and that we just have PE one semester and health the next, no biggie.

So the school has 4 floors (including the basement), and my first class is on the second floor, then I go to the main floor, then to the basement for PE, THEN ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING WAY UP TO THE TOP FLOOR FOR ELA. Now I don’t have to do that, and instead go from main floor to top floor. The health class teacher is cool, he’s pretty chill and shockingly speaks Spanish. (This is shocking because he’s WHITE white.) But I spent the class jacking around, and Ciel had told me the class would be spend dicking around anyway, which is nice because it’s one less class to worry about, and I can use it as a study hall.

I WANT OUT OF INTRO TO BUSINESS TECH SO BAD PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE.

Anyway, why is this rant called “Bitch, Bitch, Bitch” if it’s just about silly school? Well.

Something shitty happened in my 5th period class, and when I went to lunch right after that, I was feeling awful. I didn’t want to talk, I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack, and I was kind of dissociating. Felix was there, asked me if something was up and I just shook my head, and I wasn’t even really able to articulate any answer. Other friend Jacob (the TikTok star) asked me what was up, but I was barely even paying attention, just spacing out and shit. Ciel was with Jacob.

During lunch, I was sitting there uncomfortable and upset and I expected that Ciel and Felix would talk to each other, hopefully provide some form of distraction, but no. No, they’re dead silent. Felix is on their phone, watching Netflix, and Ciel’s on her phone. They’re not fucking talking, WHY AREN’T THEY TALKING. So, I got fed up and my hands felt weird so I ran to the bathroom and washed them. (I have this thing where I really need to wash my hands like upwards of 12 times a day and whatever it doesn’t matter fuck you.)

These girls were vaping in the bathroom and when I left I found a staff lady and told her about it and went back to the lunchroom.

Anyhow, I hate that. Felix asks me if I’m okay, I don’t say anything and just insinuate I’m *FINE* and he doesn’t pry and things are okay. But Ciel doesn’t do that. Ciel just avoids you when you seem down. When you seem fucking “sad” or “depressed” she’s going to distance herself.

That bugs me so fucking much, the way she just doesn’t seem to care. I want to rant to a friend about it, but I don’t want to come off narcissistic or just keep complaining about Ciel all the damn time.

So, yeah! I’m aware that if I’m going through something my literal *girlfriend* won’t be there for me!! That’s real nice to fucking know!

Usually after the last class, she and I walk together and she always leaves me at the entrance of the lunchroom so she can meet up with her sisters and walk home. Sometimes she walks out there with me, but! But but but! Recently, she’s walking with someone else entirely and they both stand there at the entrance of the lunchroom talking to each other whereas she leaves me. I always try to catch her in the halls but she’s not there anymore. Today when I got outside, she’s walking with the other friend she’s been recently walking with every. single. day. and they’re heading on their way to walk home.

Do I have insane jealousy issues?

Yes, yes I do. And it’s hard to fix that, but I want to try. But come on, she fucking avoids me when I’m actually crying in front of her. She’s constantly trying to “communicate!!!” and whatever the fuck. She’s so confused on what I don’t tell her stuff, but baby maybe it’s because you have better things to do than even PONDER why your boyfriend is shaking violently in the damned lunchroom.

And I’m saying this, I’m typing this out and part of me doesn’t even want to post it! I know nobody will see this (except my good gym friend who found me we’re calling you Shiki 😈 unless you want a different fake name) but I feel so selfish about it???

It’s probably a product of my years of repressed trauma but whatever it doesn’t matter fuck you.

So yeah…. Ciel annoys me a shit ton with this kind of stuff. I just wish I felt more comfortable around my own girlfriend. I told her I don’t feel comfortable, and that “ohhh I dunno why but here’s my guess!!” (never thought I’d lie this much in a relationship just to save face) but I know why. It’s cause she’s so just FUCKING SHITTY AT PEOPLE.

I don’t mean that, I don’t mean that.

But she’s kind of terrible with managing people emotionally. Which isn’t too grand if you’re in a relationship!

Really, sometimes I feel like deleting the whole blog, like SOMEHOW my parents will find it and I’ll be cooked. I’m just paranoid I guess, cause I’ve grown up teaching myself that it’s safer and smarter to keep it in my head, that way my family could never find the things I feel and say.

Today was an okay day, but I can’t wait for the next break, whatever the fucking fuck it’s called.