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erensnubs · 3 years ago

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𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕

Oikawa x F! Reader

Chapter 3

Word count: 1.7k

Random posts:

"So… Sho how's school been?" You ask him as you're pinning up Natsu's hair into "fairy braids".

They were essentially little flowers braided into sections of her hair.

Sho looks occupied. You think its his volleyball team.

"School's okay I guess. But volleyball is SOOO COOL! I NEVER KNEW YOU AND DAICHI-SAN, AND ASAHI-SAN AND SUGAWARA-SENPAI WERE CLOSE?!"

You start laughing, "Sugawara senpai what?!?"

Shoyo looks at you quizzically, "What do you mean? That's what he said to call him."

You giggle. God that man is too funny, you think.

"Okay enough about my upcoming volleyball career," Shoyo says while you roll your eyes.

"How's your manager life?"

You shrug your shoulders as you delicately place a flower into Natsu's hair.

"Well, me and the captain are on good terms now. And I think I'm somewhat friends with people on the team," you say thoughtfully.

Yesterday, you and Oikawa studied over the weekend at the coffee shop. It was surprising for you to see the proud captain turn almost submissive when you studied with your project together and when you talked about volleyball. You knew in the back of his mind he still felt bad about the way he mistreated you, but now you were fine.

"Well guess what? Daichi-san and Asahi-san want you to go out with them sometime! They miss you," Shoyo adds.

When you first came to Karasuno, you quickly became friends with Fuki and Riki. You were your own separate group, the artsy bitches who liked editing and drawing random shit, making concept art and scribbling doodles on each other's papers.

Then one day you decided to sit next to the shy boy-man? Man-boy? The boy with the man bun? Whatever. You decided to sit next to him during lunch, because your regular seating area was taken.

Next to the man bun boy was, stoic boy and beauty mark boy.

You didn't know that these boys were going to be the next best friends of your lives.

There you formed a friendship with three of the sweetest men you've ever met in your life.

It started off with talking about how brown is actually a good ass color, then to how the school lunches could have better milk, to groaning about essays together.

To them supporting you with your family, and you with volleyball.

"You're so stupid Riki!! Its the answer B obviously!!" Sugawara says slamming his hand on the lunch table.

You and Daichi start giggling as Riki rolls her eyes.

"What if it's not B, huh Koushi? What if it's actually C?!?" Riki retorts.

You chuckle with the memories of lunch arguments, walking together, and trips to the city with each other.

Later, you helped Daichi find a manager for the volleyball team, Kiyoko Shimizu and later became a friend of yours.

You never wanted to admit it but all of them became a found family, a fantasy that you recreated in your head over and over when you spent time with them, just because of how fucked up yours was.

You loved Suga's laugh and the way he held you while you were boisterously laughing about something stupid, but you hated the way that you knew that it was something friends did. And not what family did.

You loved it when Riki, Fuki and Shimizu came over and did your face with makeup because it made you feel like you were being pampered by aunts and sisters you didn't have.

When Asahi and Daichi constantly checked on your wellbeing, even until now, when you moved schools for Christ's sake. It made your heart clench in pity, because you know this is the closest thing to parents checking up on you.

The sad thing is? Is while you're over here playing found family, the rest of them were just doing something that friends do.

That's why you distanced yourself from all 4 of them when you moved schools.

But Shoyo, he had to remind you about them.

"Yeah.. I.. Uh… I miss them too," you say slowly, braiding the rest of Natsu's hair.

Natsu leans back against you and hands you your phone.

"You don't wanna play minecraft anymore?" You ask.

She shakes your head, "No Kiyoko is calling you!"

She waves the phone in your hands and you feel the vibration of the call.

Oh god, did Kiyoko figure it out?

With shaky fingers you pull the phone from Natsu's grasp and answer the call.

"Hey Kiyoko-"

"I'm outside your house…"

You sputter your words out, "What?!?! Kiyoko?!"

"I'm waiting for you so we can finally go out together."

She pauses.

"Just you and me," her soft voice carried comfort to you.

"Okay… I'll go soon. I'm outside with Sho and Natsu," you say picking yourself up and turning off your phone.

You wave goodbye to them and gesture with your other hand to the phone.

Shoyo gives you a thumbs up and goes back to playing outside with Natsu smiling.

You run back inside and grab your shoes and jacket and throw them on. You flung the door open and see Kiyoko Shimizu in all her grace, beauty and splendor.

"Kiyoko-"

She grabbed your hand and pulled you close to her chest and squeezed you tight.

"Me and Daichi were scared, you know. We all were. Very worried about you," she starts off quietly.

"Tell us, [Name], when something's wrong. It hurts us when you don't."

You sink into Kiyoko's arms and relish the feeling of them.

"I will. I'm sorry for not doing that."

She pulls away and gives you a soft smile, her beauty mark perking up.

"It's fine [Name]... Now get in the car! We're gonna go eat out today!"

"I'll have meal 1 please," you tell the waiter.

"Meal 5 with a side of tofu as well," Kiyoko adds.

The waiter leaves and now it's just you two You were at the ramen shop near Seijoh.

Which just so happened to be the Ramen shop that was close to the convenience store near Seijoh.

The convenience shop that you and Oikawa went to.

You shake your head to get him out of it.

"Uh…You okay?" Kiyoko said questionably.

You wave her away, "Yeah I'm fine. Just remembering something weird."

She leans forward,"Hmm okay. But hey. Heard you became a manager at Seijoh.. You trying to one up me or something?"

She smirks and you scoff.

"Kiyoko please. I learned everything from you. I don't know how I would manage this great team without your prior knowledge I would have never survived," you say.

You sigh and look up, "They're one of the best in the whole prefecture and I'm in charge of them. The pressure is real."

Kiyoko pats your hand affectionately, "I bet. I mean Oikawa and this other dude from another school have been butting heads with each other ever since middle school. It's his last year so Oikawa is probably incredibly stressed."

You raise an eyebrow, "I mean Oikawa has been a little on the edge, but I didn't know it was from some dude since fucking middle school."

"Yeah. Ushi-Waka from Shiratorizawa. He's also from a powerhouse school. The best in the prefecture. They've gone to Nationals, multiple times. Ushi-Waka is in Japan's best under 18," Kiyoko says softly, like she was passing secret information to you.

You not, sipping your water as you let her continue.

"Oikawa has always been beaten by Shiratorizawa and has NEVER made it to nationals. Once! So this year is his last year, he gets 2 chances and then poof!" Kiyoko says.

Her hands are in a circle and they suddenly break.

"Bye bye volleyball career."

You were taken aback.

No, you were stunned.

You always knew Oikawa was determined but God, this puts it on a whole nother level of determination. You wonder how stressed the team was when Oikawa supervised. Or vice versa. You wonder how stressed Oikawa was when he supervised.

Is that why Iwaizumi encouraged you to book practices with college volleyball teams? Probably. The more practice the better, you remember him saying.

Oh and how could you forget the dark circles under his eyes.

You lean back and exhale, "Wow. I feel horrible for not knowing."

Kiyoko sighs, "You should know as a MANAGER, but didn't you have a rough start with him?"

You nod and recount the events that took place as the waiter sets down your food.

"But that was yesterday so I guess we just started our 'working relationship'", you finally say.

Kiyoko lets out a low whistle, "Looks like you got your work cut out for you sweetheart. Our team is in the works."

Her voice drops lower and she grins evilly,

"We'll beat you, [Name], I have hope for this team."

You grin back, "We'll see about that."

The two of you talk back and forth about other things for a while, laughing about the dumb shit Sugawara pulled and the new students.

You pause, "How's Hinata doing? I don't know if you remember him but he's a family friend."

Kiyoko smiles, "He's doing wonderful. Had a rocky start with another 1st year but they're friends now."

"Oh I remember him telling me that. Kageyama?"

"Yes. He was a middle school prodigy. Came from the same school as Oikawa and most of the Seijoh players actually," Kiyoko informs him.

"Huh," you say mentally noting that fact into your mind.

"Anyways, I'm glad we…you know. Got to talk. Hopefully we can go and hang out again with the others," you say as both of you clean up your table and walk out.

"Same. But Karasuno is gonna beat you at the practice game next week," Kiyoko says with a wink.

"Pfft Seijoh will wipe your asses over the gym floor," you say.

You're in your bed, covered in blankets and half asleep from your eventful day. When your eyes finally fluttered to sleep, your phone buzzed.

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

You pick up your phone lazily and open up the messages.

Oikawa?

You groan. What is so goddamn urgent that he wants to meet with you so early in the morning?

You push the thoughts and the judgements out of your mind and go to bed early.

So much for a day out to relieve stress.

[Name] and Kiyoko both have a slight obsession with milk tea

IMPORTANT INFORMATION TO DISCLOSE

Kiyoko introduced [Name], to the more traditional Japanese food when she moved here rather than the trendy ones portrayed in the Media

Unbeknownst to [Name], Kiyoko keeps tabs on the Seijoh boys just in case something bad happens.

Prev/next

Taglist: @tanakasimpcorner @zukoslosthishonor @saladskittles

A note from Chef Tina: ty for sticking with me everyone for this fic! I feel like my efforts on writing this are paid off! Pls like, reblog or comment! It would help a lot!

#haikyu smau #haikyu #haikyu fic #oikawa x reader #oikawa tōru #oikawa smau #oikawa fluff #oikawa angst #toru oikawa #oikawa imagine #oikawa toru x you #oikawa toru x reader #haikyu angst #haikyu fluff #oikawa social media au

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bazwillendinflames · 4 years ago

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Gravity Falls/LIS2 AU

The last place Sean wants to spend his Summer is in a weird town in the middle of no where, Oregon, reconnecting with a Mother who hadn’t wanted to see them in years in her weird tourist trap. But Daniel is determined to go and his Dad gives Sean little choice but to babysit him.

But soon it becomes clear there is more to Beaver Creek than meets the eye and the strangeness of the town soon unlocks some family secrets and strange abilities. Maybe their Summer won’t be so boring after all.

AO3

“Lyla, I will die of boredom.”

“It can’t be that bad,” she replied, her voice a little tinny still. The bad reception was just one of many reasons that Sean was having an awful time. (In the week and a half since they had arrived, he’d already made a list.)

“Nope, it is exactly as bad as I’m saying.”

“I mean, come on, you’re Mom’s there. What’s that like that?”

Sean scowled. “Number one on reasons this place sucks. All she talks to us about is all this weird mystic stuff she likes. Her store is so weird, it’s all crystals and bad poetry.”

Lyla snorted. “Really?”

“Yep. Not to mention this is the whitest town ever.” He glanced out the window, where Karen was smoking, notebook in hand and ducked his head before she could spot him. “There are no cool people.”

“Come on, you have Danny.”

“I get enough babysitting at home thanks.” He glanced outside again, wondering exactly how long he could bitch on the phone for and call it a break. “Anyway, this place is just making Daniel weirder. He’s convinced this place is magic or something.”

“That’s sweet. Hey, we used to play witches when we were kids, remember?”

“Hey, you were the witch, I was a manly wizard.”

That time Lyla actually laughed. “Sure dude. I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Anyway, we were into the Harry Potter books, you know before terf-face ruined them. Daniel is into the ancient runes and fake spell cards Mo- Karen sells.”

“That’s adorable.”

“Ugh, only you could find him adorable. That’s only because Daniel doesn’t kick you in your sleep-”

“Did Lyla call me adorable?”

Sean sighed as Daniel barged in. Not much had changed since home tehre at least, apart from the fact they now shared Karen’s attic room. (Bunk beds, making the being kicked in the shin at night thing even more annoying.)

“Hey, I’m kinda on the-”

Daniel yanked the phone and rolled on the bed. “Hiiiiii Lyla. Do you miss us?”

“Give me that back.”

He wiggled out of his grap. “Did you know Sean talks in his sleep, it’s so weird-”

“You would know about weird,” he grumbled, snatching his phone back, only to find the shitty signal had finally cut out on Lyla. “Dude.”

“Sorry.” Daniel grinned at him. “Hey, I’m helping Mom restock, can you help me reach the top shelves?”

He checked the time on his phone. He had almost managed a whole brother-free hour.

“Guess I should I get back to work.”

“Cool.” Daniel followed him downstairs, bouncing with energy. “Hey, Sean what does terf-face mean?”

Sean was stuck behind the register, although the store was still empty. He wasn’t sure why Karen insisted on such early opening hours when no one else showed up.

He rubbed his eyes, the early start not helped by the fact Daniel had been reading with a torch all night. He had picked up a weird book from the store or something. Of course he would pick up a late night reading habit once they were sharing a room.

“I brought you guys some toast.” Karen balanced the plate on the top of some unsold art books. (Her organization was as great as her parenting.)

“Thanks Mom!”

Sean poked at a black spot under a thick layer of peanut butter. “Yeah, thanks.”

“I gotta do some inventory but I’ll be back up for lunch.”

“Can we go to the cool diner? Chris says the milkshakes are great.”

Karen smiled. “Yeah. Does that sound good Sean?”

He grunted in response and her grin flickered.

“Right, work. You boys got this.”

“We’re not your boys,” Sean muttered, although she didn’t hear.

“Why are you so mean to Mom?” Daniel asked, his mouth full of toast. “She’s always nice.”

“Right, she’s been real nice the first nine years of your life.”

Daniel looked up at him with big eyes. “Sean…”

“Fine, I’ll try. Put those eyes away Bambi.”

He smiled. “So, I was thinking the strawberry milkshakes are Chris’ favourite but I like chocolate more so you could get one and we could share?”

“Huh, yeah, sure.” Sean had only been half listening, distracted by the newest customer. Waking up early suddenly had its appeal. The girl had matted purple hair, an arm full of tattoos and a guitar strapped to her back. She caught him looking and winked.

“Are you okay Sean? You just went really red and-”

“What? No. Shut up.” Sean moved into a more casual position, his eyes still fixed on the pretty girl. His elbow knocked the tip jar and it fell off the edge. “Shit-”

“Here.” Daniel put it back. “Woah…”

“Good catch Enano.”

“Yeah. Catch! I totally caught it.” Daniel smiled a little suspiciously. “Hey, you said a swear, you owe me a dollar.”

“A dollar? It’s only a quarter at home.”��

“Now we’re away from Dad, you’re supposed to be a good influence.”

“You get a quarter.” Sean dropped the coin in his hand. “Be cool.”

“What?”

“Hey boys.” The purple-haired girl leaned against the other end of the counter, an easy smile on her face. Her voice had a faint Southern tang. “So, I come to this town every Summer and I don’t recognise either of you cuties.”

“I- we- um-”

His brother beat him to it. “I’m Daniel.”

Cursing his stammering, he finally managed to introduce himself. “I’m Sean.”

“Why hello. I’m Cassidy.”

“Hi. Um, cool guitar. You play?” (Internally, Sean cringed: You play? Why else would she have a guitar?)

“Yeah, funnily enough. I’m actually here to hand out flyers for my band’s show. Could you hang it up?”

“Yeah.” Sean took the flyer. “Your show is this Friday?”

“And every other Friday. You wanna come?”

“I’m invited?”

Cassidy laughed. “Yeah sure. It is a concert. You’re lucky you’re cute, City Boy.”

“City boy?”

“It’s on your sweatshirt idiot,” Daniel whispered. Seattle Track Meet, 2015. He was frowning in the general direction of Cassidy. “We’re busy Friday so-”

“No. Nope, I’m not busy. Ignore him.” Sean flattened his hair. “I’ll be there Friday.”

“I’ll look out for you City Boy. Nice to meet you.”

Sean waited until Cassidy had left before pumping his fist. “Yes! She called me cute Dan!”

“You’re the worst.”

“What?”

Daniel pouted. “You promised you’d take me camping in the woods Friday. I already brought us marshmallows and walkie-talkies.”

“Hey, there is plenty of time to camp in those freaky woods. But I only have one chance with a girl like Cassidy.”

“Wrong, you have zero chances with any girl.” Daniel stomped off to the corner of the store. “You’re the worst.”

“Dan- come on.” His brother went back to ignoring him. Sean crossed his arms. “Fine. Be like that!”

There was the only sound of a raspberry in response.

“Nope, I’m totally with Danny. That was a jerk move.”

“What? Lyla, you’re supposed to be my hype man- er woman. You’re always trying to set me up on dates.”

“Dude, three weeks ago you were so into Jenn.”

He sighed. “And Jenn was into Derek Anderson. We had ice cream and everything.”

“Dude, don’t fuck up your relationship with Danny over a dumb Summer romance.”

Sean buried his head in his pillow. “You sound like my Dad.”

“Go to this hippy girl’s show next time. You Danny will do the face.”

“The Bambi face?” Sean groaned. “I have been facing the Bambi face all week.”

Lyla scoffed. “Is there anything else to add?”

“Fine. I’ll go camping. But only for the s’mores.”

“Okay, brother of the year.”

“Thanks jerk.”

Lyla blew him an exaggerated kiss. “Aw, love you too.”

Sean grabbed his backpack, moving to shove in his hoodie and torch. Daniel had already shoved one of the walkie-talkies inside.

“Calling little wolf, we are back on for camping.”

There was nothing but static on the other end. Sean pocketed the walkie-talkie and headed downstairs, calling his brother’s name. There was no one in the kitchen and only Karen sitting in the living room, chewing on the edge of a pen.

“Hey, have you seen Daniel?”

Karen looked up. “Oh, I thought you already left? Daniel passed by twenty minutes ago with the sleeping bags.”

“That little-” Sean wasn’t panicking, but he was maybe sweating a little more than he had been before. “Um, right. I just forget a…” he scanned the room and grabbed Daniel’s weird book, “scary story. Classic camping right?”

“Oh. Have a nice time then.” Karen hesitated. “I know you’re not thrilled to be here. But I hope by the end of the Summer we can understand each other better.

“Me too.” Sean tried to look as un-guilty as possible. “See you tomorrow Karen.”

“Daniel!” He yelled, running head first into the spooky mass of woodlands beyond their store. “Dan, I’m sorry okay. Quit hiding!”

No answer. Sean went digging for the walkie-talkie, now glowing an eerie blue.

“Dan?”

The walkie-talkie crackled again- “Sean?”

“Dan.” He let out a shaky breath. “Hey, I’m sorry I ditched you-”

“Sean, help!”

He was clutching the walkie-talkie so hard his knuckles went white. “What’s wrong? I’m coming okay. What’s happening?”

“Creature- help- monster- ahh!”

Sean scanned the trees around him, suddenly aware he was lost too. Daniel had been the one eager to explore the woods but he had said it was too creepy and now it seemed he was being proven right.

“Sean- book- monster-”

He dug around to find the weird book Daniel had been carrying around all week. He had assumed it was from one of Karen’s displays but now he was looking at it, the journal seemed too real to go with the modern witchcraft bullshit she was trying to sell. The cover was dark blue and the pages thick with drawings and polaroids.

“Dan, I have the book, what do I need to look for? What is this thing?”

“Page- tree- monster-” Daniel was breathing heavily. “Hear?”

“I can hear you,” he said comfortingly, “I’m coming.”

He held the torch in his teeth, flicking through pages until he came across a few marked with Daniel’s doodles and writing. He seemed to be studying telekinetic powers, complete with a superhero sketch: SUPER /DUDE DAN/ WOLF? ask Sean for name ideas

He finally came across the page that looked like a bush drawn with yellow eyes.

Dangerous

camouflage shape shifters

Hard to photograph shush ma-

Likes dark

Under the original writing Daniel had added his own note: babies in woods.

“Hey,” Sean held up the walkie-talkie, “is it these moss creatures? What well?”

“Sean!” This time Daniel’s voice was clearer, his voice steadier.

“Dan. What happened? Please tell me you had a good reason to go into the woods alone without telling me or Karen.”

“Come on, that’s it? Can you yell at me when I’m not being chased?”

“Okay. I’m coming, where are you?”

“Where are you?”

“By some trees. There’s a sign for a lake?”

“Go to the lake, I’ll meet you there.” Daniel was cut off by some more static. “Hey, stop chewing that Mushroom!”

Sean followed the signs, hoping Daniel at least would know a way out. How did he know the woods so well already? Was Sean that much of a shitty brother he hadn’t noticed him running off into these haunted-ass woods?

The lake slowly came into the view but it was empty.

“Daniel? Dan?”

The lake was weirdly normal, just muddy water and a few droopy looking frogs. Still, Sean was still on edge, swinging the heavy torch from hand to hand. The faster they got home, the better.

His relative peace was interrupted by the rustling of tree branches and heavy footsteps. Daniel came barging through the trees, a small bundle of something wrapped in his checked shirt. Something was chasing him and fast- Sean barely had time to move out the way as Daniel crashed into him. Something big and fast ran past.

“Sean!” Daniel threw himself into his arms. “I’m sorry, don’t yell at me.”

“I’m not mad. But you did scare the shit out of me.”

“Sean-”

“Fine, you get a dollar, let’s just go-”

“No, look.”

Sean turned slowly, met with amber eyes and a large face of bark and weeds. The creature sniffed at him curiously.

“Um-”

Daniel hid behind him. “Any ideas?”

“You have the stupid haunted book!” The creature snorted, blowing hot air in his face. “Wait, the book said-” Sean slowly moved for his pocket, finding Dad’s lighter.

“Dan, on three, we run.”

“One-” he reached for a branch, “two-” he flicked the lighter on, “three!” Sean held the flaming branch up the creature’s face, dragging Daniel out the way as it squirmed. “What, the light should have scared it off.”

“Remember when you said you weren’t going to get mad?”

Sean turned to him, as Daniel revealed the squirming mass of moss in his arms.

“You stole it’s kid?”

“I always wanted a puppy! She’s called Mushroom-”

Seeing it’s child, the larger creature started inching slowly towards Daniel.

“Put it down! We can’t keep this weird monster-baby!”

“We bonded!” The larger creature nudged its nose towards the smaller one, poking his chest with a spikey horn. “Okay, I’ll give her back.”

Daniel held out his arms, placing the small creature on the floor. It wiggled a loose vine that could almost be a tail and followed its parents into the woods.

Sean punched him in the arm. “That’s for trying to adopt an actual monster.”

Daniel rubbed his arm. “Ouch.”

Sean pulled him into a hug. “And that’s for scaring the shit out of me. I’m glad you’re okay though.”

“Me too.” Daniel smiled. “Hey, now you owe me two dollars!”

After all the excitement, the brothers’ settled on camping in Karen’s yard.

“So, you found that spooky book in a tree and didn’t think to tell me?”

“You were being the worst!”

Sean laughed. “Okay, I deserve that. But, next time you find a weird monster thing, tell me. We’re in this together.”

“Okay promise.” Daniel threw another marshmallow at him. “Sorry I made you miss your concert. I guess Cassidy wasn’t that bad.”

“Hey, I saved your butt, that’s more important.” Sean took a bite out a s’more. “Hey, there isn’t anything else you’re not telling me right?”

“Actually,” Daniel held out his hand, a marshmallow hoovering a few inches above his palm. “Surprise?”

(A boring Summer suddenly looked so much more appealing.)

#Life is Strange 2 #Daniel Diaz #Sean Diaz #gravity falls #lis2

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shinyzango · 5 years ago

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...You know, I have been thinking a bit about this past decade. My memory is crap to be honest but looking back at it... It sure was a mess of ups and downs.

It started with me leaving highschool after failing the second year, as I’ve grown too tired and annoyed by the dumbness of its teaching methods. In that year then I have started attending to a, uhm, I think I can call it a specialization school for making comics. Despite having turned 18 in those years, I was still very immature, and ended up leaving that school as well as I considered their final goal to be bullshit (even tho now that I look back at it it kind of had sense).

Still, while I have ended up disliking that school, as I both hated the fact that they said they welcomed all styles when in the end they still favored non-manga styles and the fact that I ended up hating one specific classmate that even made me get sick at one point... I am thankful for that school. Before then, my dumb immature self was your typical “ew western media sucks, manga and the anime is the best!!!”, but that school make me open up to western media... and I started appreciating it more. It led me to eventually discover VALVe’s games, specifically Team Fortress 2, and I have met so many friends with it. And while I hated how my art was taking western inspirations from my full One Piece-influenced style, and I still hate to this day how my art had suffered in those years, I am thankful for it, because my style is now more unique and personal and I actually like it.

In those years I have also obtained my driving license and a motorbike to drive with, which ended up with me giving up with it between the bike being difficult for me to handle, and attempted getting a scuba diving license as at the time I loved the idea of learning the activity, to which I ended up giving up as I really couldn’t deal with the salt water getting in my eyes, and the one time I was actually able to do a successful immersion, I ended up with my inner ears getting an irritation and causing any successive immersion impossible in order to get the license.

But then, after I left that school in the middle of the second year of three, things just... started spiraling downwards. What followed was half a decade of pretty much lurking in my room. I rarely got out of my room, I often refused to go out with my family, and the first signs of depression started showing up. And if that wasn’t enough, in those years we had my sister’s first puppy dying shortly after she bought it, her second dog giving me headaches, mom discovering she had glaucoma and started treatment to at least slow it down, to which she started getting into depression as well, my dad leaving home because he was tired of maintaining us, leaving one daughter barely doing anything with her life, the other daughter who at the time was still struggling to continue university and had a young dog to take care of, a wife who just went through an operation to her eyes and was horrified at the idea of not being able to drive anymore, all three of us without any kind of income of our own, and two aging cats of which one was starting to show signs of sickness, in complete shit. That episode caused mom to have a serious breakdown and was hospidalized and successively put into recovery.

What followed that episode was years of complete mess. My depression got worse, sis found love and left home to stay with him, mom came to meet a person who she felt love for and at the time helped her recover and come out of her heartbroken shell, which while she was happy with him, both me and sis saw something was wrong with him. And soon enough, a couple years later his true nature started to show, but mom was too blinded through anti-depressant meds and other stuff and it took her 3-4 years before she was finally able to leave him just this month. Until then, it was a complete mess between them and us.

In these recent years however, between all the mess that happened to which I only have bad memories of, something good did happen. I started learning more about myself. Thanks to a failed attempt at consulting a psychologist, who turned out to be an old incompetent witch, I was finally able to figure out the one fear that was ruining me all those years, it turning out to be a fear of others’ judgement upon whatever I am or do. And while I still didn’t get over it, it has helped to at least aknowledge it.

Then, the best year for me happened. In 2017, as I had given up on trying to get attention and a following after so many years of envying other artists I admired, I got into a game I would have never guessed I would have ended up liking. I started having fun with my art and ideas again, drawing mostly for myself. And just like that, I started getting quite the following for the content I delivered for it. My art made a lot of people happy. I can still remember the warmth in my heart from those days.

Then it got even better. Not even half a year later, I randomly doodled one particular character, from an old project I had given up on working on for the lack of interest on it, during a stream. My watchers loved him. They wanted ot know more. It sparked the itch to revisit the idea just for the hell of it. I drew a little more for it. People loved it. The happiness I felt in those days was immense. I kept playing with that project. People loved whatever I drew. It was liek a dream.

But dreams eventually end, and between what was happening in real life at the time and the shift of attention getting away from my content, it contributed in my depression to come back with a vengeance and make me feel worse about myself.

Then, 2019 arrived. This year was, a complete mess, even more than the previous years. Mom was struggling between leaving her companion who turned out to be a piece of shit and trying to finally start gaining any money with her new job who she has been struggling with for the past 2 years. And I have reached a point in which I was seriously scared of my future, and eventually accepted the offer my sister and mom proposed to me. As in temporarely move to my sister’s new home in order to find a job in her area. What I found was a seasonal job, which turned out to be hell for me. This was the worst summer of my life... but it also allowed me to grow as a person. I came to realize I was still a kid and needed to grow up, I finally got comfortable with driving on a road... but eventually returned home after the job ended as I didn’t want to be a bother to my sister. I was convinced that now that I had a vehicle of my own, it would have been easier for me to find a job in my hometown’s area. That was a mistake. Then mom returned to live back at home definitely, with her ex companion keeping tormenting her for all these months... and I ended up with the car incident in which my bike ended up getting damaged beyond repair.

I feel like I’ve taken steps back and returned at page one with my life... but you know what? I’m optimistic. I feel motivated in making something out of this year. I WANT to conclude something out of this year.

This past decade has been a mess, but I’m optimistic that this new one can, and will, be better. It just starts with a thought.

“I want to be productive.”

#sorry for the long post but I've been thinking tonight #more posts to come

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abigailmaitland · 5 years ago

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Andi Mack 4B Plots

My 4A Plots

Trigger Warning for depression - nothing too dark, but it is a significant plot of this season.

Extra 4A plot to be nestled somewhere before the finale:

Halloween!

The GHC & Co. trying to decide whether they’re too old to go trick or treating. Intense debate with Cyrus, Andi, and Marty on one side, TJ, Buffy, and Jonah are on the other.

“How can you be too old for free candy?!” Cyrus exclaims.

“I’ve always hated dressing up,” Jonah rolled his eyes.

“Halloween is the best time to practice sewing!” Andi expresses.

“I hate sewing,” Buffy groans. “Besides, I’m trying to put my dentist out of business.”

“It just seems like none of you want to have any fun.” Marty says.

“I’m on the high school basketball team. I have an image to keep.” TJ crosses his arms.

“Is the image a boring, funsucker? Because you’re nailing it,” Marty teases.

Eventually the opposing group crumbles underneath the pressure of their friends and free candy. Planning their route is also intense - Cyrus definitely has maps of Shadyside and a detailed house list of who gives the best candy with averages he’s kept throughout the years.

The Crafty Crew joins them for trick & treating.

Cyrus dresses up as Waldo.

Andi makes a ‘cereal killer’ costume, including a cereal box skirt, blood, the whole shebang. Even Cyrus groans at the pun (but secretly high fives her).

Buffy goes as Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Marty goes as Fred from Scooby Doo. Buffy says he was supposed to be Spike from BVS, Marty laughs and says he thought Buffy and Fred were a better match.

Jonah puts those fake vampire fangs in and some fake blood on his face. Buffy chases him around all night. TJ dresses up as a failed math test because it’s the scariest thing he can think of.

Walker dresses as Miles Morales & Libby dresses as Hawkeye (we deserved a deaf hawkeye!)

And finally, the episode ends with an intense candy trading session. Lots of smiles, laughs, and friendship/couple moments. Halloween episodes should always be the most lighthearted!

4B.

Episode One.

Bex is laying in bed. She’s awake, but she’s not doing anything but staring. Her phone goes off and it’s revealed to be 3pm. Andi’s calling. Bex hesitates, then answers. “Mom - are you okay? You were supposed to pick me up fifteen minutes ago.”

Bex shuts her eyes, then opens them again. Suddenly, energy is in her voice. “Oh yeah - you know me, just running late. Traffic! I’ll be there soon, Andiman.” she hangs up quickly, she sighs. Her eyes are distant. She rushes to get ready, throwing on whatever she can, v messy, not caring how she looks.

Next scene Bowie is seen in a restaurant kitchen cooking. They ask him if he can stay late - he says no, he’s got to be at Red Rooster Records for the open mic night, revealing that he is working two jobs to try to start saving, referencing the potential for a second child (as Bex listed financial fears as a main reason).

We see Jonah’s apartment when he invites Cyrus over to hang out. Jonah says “it’s kind of small,” but Cyrus smiles and says “You know, it’s actually cozy. My house can be so...lonely.” Jonah kind of scoffs and rolls his eyes, muttering something about rich kid perspectives. He admits he had to get rid of a lot of stuff, including his old baseball gear and complains that he can’t play his guitar after a certain hour because his neighbors complain because the walls are basically paper thin. “Basically, don’t say anything you don’t want Dave to hear. He’s basically a member of the family at this point.”

Bex is off on the drive home with Andi. Andi’s talking non-stop about school events and how she failed the last project (revealed in the 4a finale) and how she needs to improve, but she feels so out of place in the school. Bex is saying “yeah” and “mhmmm”, barely listening. When they get home, instead of cooking, Bex orders pizza but doesn’t really eat much. Andi starts to get worried and asks if Bex is okay, but Bex just says she thinks she’s getting sick. Bowie comes home exhausted and both him and Bex fall asleep on the couch during a movie that they were supposed to watch as a family.

Cyrus is a little bothered by “the rich kid perspective” comment and tries to analyze how much his upbringing colors his opinions. The next day, he’s talking about it with Buffy and Andi at The Spoon and how he’s worried that he gives off entitled-rich kid vibes. They laugh and say sometimes he’s oblivious and dumb with money, but he’s not entitled. Andi complains about how tired Bowie always is now and then mentions how strange Bex was acting yesterday. Cyrus’s brain jumps to the worst possible conclusions. Buffy has to reassure Andi that everything is probably okay. As a distraction, she talks about how happy her parents are to be back together and shows off goofy pictures of them. She says her father hasn’t stopped talking about her mom in church since she’s gotten back. GHC smiles.

Episode Two.

Bex’s work has started to get a little sloppy and customers are leaving bad reviews. Celia presses into Bex, saying she didn’t invest so much money into this business just for Bex to get lazy. Bex sighs, shakes her head. “Reschedule my appointments for tomorrow, mom. I think I’m sick.” Celia’s eyes widen, as if she suddenly understands something. Bex goes home and slips back into bed. She doesn’t really go to sleep, but just scrolls her phone aimlessly.

Now that TJ is out at school, Cyrus asks him if he’s going to introduce him to his parents as his boyfriend. TJ awkwardly laughs and says “I should, shouldn’t I?” Cyrus nods. “But if it helps, we can have dinner as boyfriends with my parents first?” TJ’s eyes widen. “All of them? At once?!” Cyrus laughs. “No, we can do dinner at one house and dessert at the other?” TJ nods. “Uh, yeah okay.” Cyrus holds TJ’s hand. “Come on, Teej, you have nothing to worry about. They already love you.”

Jonah bumps into Amber in the hall and brings her to a quiet spot in the hallway. He grins and says he’s going to therapy. Amber asks him how it’s going and he shrugs, but doesn’t seem upset. He says “it sucks, but you know...it really does help. I really didn’t like it at first and didn’t talk, but he asked me to play some music the other week and that helped break the ice,” Jonah explained. Amber smiles and hugs him. “Congratulations, Jojo. I’m proud of you.” He asks how she’s doing. Amber says she’s getting there, but that she wished she was a freshman again because she’s struggling with her AP classes, driver’s ed, her job, and her family issues. He said it sounded like a lot, but that he’d try to be there for Amber because she was there for him. Amber nods and says she’ll keep that in mind. Suddenly, there’s a security guard telling them they have detention for skipping class. At first, Jonah and Amber look at each other scared, then they crack up at the situation they’ve gotten themselves in.

Andi comes home and sees Bowie sitting with Bex in the bedroom. She overhears Bowie comforting her and then hears Bex saying “I don’t want Andi to know…” Andi freaks out, texting the GHC group chat saying something is wrong with her mom.

Episode Three.

Friendsgiving episode! GHC + Crafty Crew all get together at Andi’s apartment a week before Thanksgiving and have a huge feast. Cyrus put together a spreadsheet and organized who brought what. Buffy and Marty have a competition to make the best dessert. Jonah buys store-bought microwavable mashed potatoes. Andi decorates the entire space and Bowie makes the turkey. TJ brings the BEST Green Bean Casserole and everyone bothers him the entire episode to give up the recipe. They give each other updates; like the dinner with Cyrus’ parents went really well, Jonah and Amber talk about how their detention teacher hated them because they kept laughing, Buffy talks about her parents, etc. Everyone also shares traditions their family does for the holiday.

Walker says that his family covers the table with paper and everyone writes/doodles what they’re thankful for throughout the meal. They then hang it up until it’s time to decorate for Christmas.

Libby says her family go on a long walk after dinner with each other.

TJ says his whole family plays football together before and after dinner.

Cyrus says he has several Thanksgivings and too many traditions to name - but his favorite is his mom’s side, who volunteers first and then have a small meal afterwards.

Buffy says after dinner they decorate for Christmas, which is her parent’s favorite holiday.

Jonah says they play a bunch of different board games and family games.

Amber says that her family doesn’t argue for the whole day - and also watches old home movies.

They ask Andi what traditions her family has. She seems upset and explains that they used to go to pop’s family and celebrate, but now they have to make new traditions without him because he left them. Everyone comforts her. Bowie overheard and tells Bex - they both want to give Andi the best Thanksgiving in the world. Bex tells Bowie that “all this family drama is why I don’t want Andi to know…”

Episode Four.

Cece takes Andi out for a bonding day, saying that she’s been missing her. Andi says she misses her too. They go to an art museum and have lunch where Andi talks to Cece about not doing well in SAVA and maybe she’s not great at art like everyone thought. Cece tells Andi that when she was a toddler, she grabbed a pack of crayons and for weeks, she wouldn’t put them down. Cece would catch Andi awake at night DRAWING. Andi would fall asleep with a pack of crayons cuddled close to her. She’d color in the car, at restaurants, in the bathtub with bath crayons, everywhere she could. “And that first year you went to camp, I’ll never forget how excited you were about crafts...Andi, I don’t think you’re bad at art. I think you think you’re bad at art which is making you bad at art.”

Andi says “wow…” and knows that Cece is right. SAVA wouldn’t have chosen her otherwise. They go out to have Fro-yo and Cece asks how Andi is doing at home. Andi tells Cece that it’s been weird having Bowie working so much and then mentioned that Bex is acting strange too. She asked Cece if she knew anything about that and Cece nods. “Yes, but it’s your mother’s choice to tell you.” Andi complains that no one’s ever told her anything.

Cece rolls her eyes and then says “Well I have important news. My dad is moving in with me.”

Andi asks “Wait, why? Is everything okay?”

“He’s okay, yes. He’s still healthy, especially for his age - but,” Cece pauses. “You know, he misses you and Bex. He’s been spending so much time with Mei and Ling and the twins and Ronald, he thought it’d be a nice surprise.” “Yeah, it has been awhile since we’ve seen him, but...he doesn’t need to move in with you. He could just visit, couldn’t he?”

“I asked him too.” “Why?”

“I thought it’d be good to have someone in the house. I know you, Cyrus, and Buffy still have sleepovers there, but it’s just been too empty for too long. I know how important Andi Shack is to you and how important the house is to your mom, so I decided to keep it.”

“Oh. Cece - I’m sorry. I guess I got caught up in my own stuff again…” Andi says, hugging Cece.

“It’s okay. You’re the child, remember?”

Cece drops Andi off. She calls Bex outside and they close the door.

“Rebecca,” Cece says. Bex avoids her eyes and focuses on the ground, her nails pressing into her skin. You think it’s going to be a lecture, Bex thinks it’s going to be a lecture, but Cece pulls Bex into a hug. “Andi’s worried about you. You need to talk to her.”

Plot B of this episode is Buffy and Cyrus hanging out at Buffy’s house. We’re introduced to Buffy’s father (headcanon: he’s black. I know sofia is mixed, but I think it’d be cool to have men of color in the show). He wears a cross necklace and is clearly religious, but Cyrus never feels uncomfortable mentioning his boyfriend TJ. Buffy’s father treats Cyrus with nothing but love, honestly, and mentions that he’s the son they never had while eating dinner.

Episode Five.

Jonah reveals that he’s gotten a job as a cashier at The Red Rooster. He’s not immediately great at it, which causes a spike in his anxiety, but instead of having a panic attack he’s able to ground himself using techniques his therapist taught him.

Andi’s teacher, the one who was critical about her art, notices a huge change in Andi and her work and compliments her new project, stating that she knew Andi had it in her. Walker, Libby, and Andi all celebrate together at The Spoon.

Buffy & TJ hang out - they play basketball and get to know each other better. “I don’t think we’ve ever hung out without Cyrus,” TJ laughs. “Yeah...I don’t think so? This is nice,” They play H.O.R.S.E, as well as a game they made up where each basket they make, they get to ask a question. The harder the shot is, the harder the questions they can ask.

At home, Bex is pacing the bedroom. Bowie is sitting on the bed. Bex complains that she doesn’t know what she should do or how she should even talk about it. Bowie listens, nodding his head. “You know, when my father was sick, he didn’t want to tell me. He wanted to be strong and proud. And he almost didn’t tell me, but I found his medication. I was terrified because something bad could have happened any moment and it would’ve been a complete surprise to me.” he pauses. “Andi is worried about you and probably thinks something really bad is going to happen and I don’t think it’s fair to hide it. Besides...she’s starting to get to that age where maybe it’ll start to affect her…”

Episode Six.

Christmas is coming up and the GHC + Crafty Crew go to the mall. They split up into their normal groups; TJ, Jonah, Marty + Walker and Cyrus, Andi, Buffy + Libby. They’re playing Secret Santa for each other so they’re trying to hide the gifts they’re buying and throwing each other off. Of course, they’re also buying gifts for their SOs.

Secret Santa List -

TJ has to buy for Marty

Jonah has to buy for Buffy

Cyrus has to buy for Jonah

Marty has to buy for Andi

Andi has to buy for TJ

Buffy has to buy for Cyrus

TJ fretting about what Cyrus would want and if he should even do a Christmas gift because Cyrus doesn’t celebrate (he would celebrate non-religious aspects with Buffy & Andi some years)

Cyrus complaining that Christmas is so materialistic - but then also trying to find the best gift to give TJ and Jonah.

But while TJ, Jonah, Marty, and Walker are shopping trouble arises when they’re wandering around a store, picking up different things, putting them down and whatnot. At some point, Walker notices a security guard staring him down. He feels uncomfortable, but knows he didn’t do anything wrong and continues to just walk around the store with Jonah, Marty and TJ. But it all goes wrong when the group tries to leave the store. They’re all stopped by the security guard, but Walker is singled out. The guard says that he knows that somebody in this group stole and that he has his suspicions as to who. The group all look at each other and furiously shake their heads, saying none of them stole. The guard asks Walker to empty his pockets. Walker does, he has nothing in his pockets besides his wallet and house keys. The guard lets them all go with a warning. Walker is embarrassed and angry that no one else had to empty their pockets. The group buy him some food to try to cheer him up and all agree that it was really wrong.

Episode Seven.

Christmas/Hanukkah special.

They all celebrate their respective holidays. Cyrus invites TJ to celebrate Hanukkah the day after Christmas. TJ of course agrees. We see Cyrus’ family celebrate Hanukkah. Andi, Bex, Bowie, Cece, her dad AND Mei, Ling, her husband, Ronald, and the twins celebrate at Cece’s house. Mei and Cece start to argue, but their dad reigns them in. They finally call a truce after their entire lives of competition and decide their feud isn’t worth it. (“What were we even fighting with to begin with?”) Buffy goes to church and celebrates with her family. Marty celebrates with his family; it’s the first Christmas with his step-siblings.

The gifts they all bought for each other are revealed when GHC + CO get together during Christmas afternoon. TJ gets Marty a joke gift (probably something about always forgetting him), Jonah buys Buffy a bag full of all of her favorite snacks/candy, Cyrus got Jonah an anchor necklace to keep him grounded and a guitar tuner, Marty buys Andi some weird gag gift like a yodelling pickle, Andi buys TJ a Troy Bolton basketball jersey, and Buffy buys Cyrus a mug that says ‘you’re so weird, i like you’ because she knows Cyrus loves mugs.

TJ and Cyrus psyched themselves out and ended up panicking and getting something neither of them really liked. They laugh about it and then realize they should get to know each other better.

Buffy and Marty treated it like a competition. Buffy got Marty a pace tracker that goes on his sneakers, a scrapbook for his future marathons, and those weird toe socks. Marty gave Buffy two of his hoodies, a necklace shaped like deer antlers which symbolizes strength and gentleness, and an NBA video game that they can play at his house.

The episode is light-hearted and easy, but the whole episode Bex is still just a little off. Bowie and Cece are extra mindful of her. Andi is still really confused and worried. At the end of the episode, when they all get home, Bex sits on the couch and says “Andi...I have something to tell you.”

HIATUS.

Episode Eight.

Special opening similar to the gun-control episode, as well as the anxiety/panic attack opening talking about how mental health is important and if you or a friend are struggling, tell a trusted adult and take care of yourself.

“Andi...I have something to tell you.” Bex’s voice is serious. There’s a lot of tension. Andi seems worried. Bex seems nervous. Bowie has his hands on Bex’s shoulders comfortingly.

“Mom? I’m scared...are you sick?”

“Yes,” Andi seems shocked and scared at this revelation. “But not the way you’re thinking, Andi...gosh, this would be easier if I was still just your cool, older sister.” because this is the kind of thing that ‘cool, edgy’ older siblings go through. Not parents. “Andi, I have depression. I’ve had it since I was about your age. It...doesn’t go away, but I’ve been on medication since my twenties and it worked great. But, with work stress and everything that happened with Pops, well...it stopped working. I should have been more open with you and everyone and gotten help when it started…”

Andi stops tensing. She sits with Bex on the couch. “Mom...I didn’t know…”

“Yeah, only Bowie and Cece did. I wanted to be the best mom in the world, especially after giving you up for so long. I wanted to do everything and be everything for you - I didn’t want you to have to worry about me or feel like you had to take care of me. I wanted to be strong.”

“Mom, I love you. You don’t need to pretend to be something you’re not or do more than you can.”

Bex hugs Andi. She’s definitely crying.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Andiman. You don’t have to worry or take care of me ever, okay? I’m the adult. I’ve talked to Bowie and Cece. I’m going to get my medications adjusted and I’m going to go to therapy.”

Andi feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of her chest but it only lasts momentarily. She gets out of the hug.

“Mom, I learned about depression in school…” She pauses. “It can be genetic...what if I get it?”

“Then we’ll help you through it. No matter what.” Bex and Bowie wrap her in a hug again. “You talk to us, though, okay? Don’t hide it like I did.”

PLOT B. Buffy and Marty have a massive fight. This leaves TJ and Cyrus in awkward positions because TJ thinks that Marty is right and Cyrus always sides with Buffy. This leaves Jonah has a tie-breaker and he totally panics and exclaims that this is why he hates relationships. When they realize that he got really anxious choosing a side, they realize they were being stupid and shouldn’t have put anyone in the middle of the fight. They all apologize to him and make up.

Episode Nine.

Buffy’s birthday!

Similar to Bowie, Buffy has never liked huge birthday parties or attention on her birthday. Andi says “Buffy likes attention everyday...except her birthday.” Cyrus and Andi make sure to tell Marty the first of the month that under no circumstances should he try to surprise her. He asks Cyrus and Andi what they do for her birthday then. Cyrus says that they have a Buffy birthday tradition that they’ve been doing since the second grade.

They meet at Buffy’s house for a celebratory breakfast of Froot Loops and chocolate milk because Buffy went through a phase where that’s the only thing she would eat and drink for breakfast, then they walk to school no matter what the weather because on her birthday in second grade, she demanded to be able to walk alone because she was “all grown now” (her parents followed them, just further behind. If it’s a weekend, they walk to The Spoon). After school, they walk back to her house and they play Buffy’s favorite game at the time “Twister” (Cyrus’ least favorite game) and have a silent dance party (at the time, her mother had just come back from war and asked them to not make too much noise). Then, they eat “garbage pizza” because Buffy had just learned the name of it and thought it was hilarious, and her favorite cake. Then, Andi and Cyrus stayed up as late as possible watching whatever movies Buffy wanted to watch.

During lunch, while Cyrus, TJ, and Jonah are getting their lunch, Marty asks Buffy if he can join in on her birthday traditions. Buffy is pretty rigid and likes the traditions as is, but says that maybe they can create their own birthday tradition. Marty comes up with the idea of a three-legged race (Him and Buffy vs TJ and Jonah) and then going out for ice cream - that way, all of Buffy’s new friends and boyfriend can be included before she goes back home to celebrate with the GHC.

That goes just about as well as anyone would think. Hilarious montage, honestly. This is the silliest idea I’ve come up with and yet, I love it.

Episode Ten.

After school, Jonah and Buffy decide to hang out. They go to a skatepark. Jonah is much better than Buffy - which he celebrates and exclaims “finally!” She’s determined to learn a pop-shove it.

While at work, Bex thanks Cece for supporting her during her depression and tells her that she got her medications adjusted and is starting to feel better. Cece nods and says “I’m really sorry for not supporting you when you were younger. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.” Bex forgives her.

TJ and Cyrus experience some homophobia both in school and outside of school. Cyrus gets upset and insecure, TJ loses his cool. They sigh and realize that it’s probably something they’ll have to go through a lot - but at least they have each other to go through it with.

Andi, Bex, and Bowie go to Cece’s house to spend time with their grandfather/great-grandfather. During the visit, Bex and Andi brush up on their Mandarin, they play games like dominos, cards, and Mahjong, and they eat traditional Chinese food.

Episode Eleven.

Amber got her driver’s license. She surprises Andi & Buffy on a weekend for a road trip. They drive to the town nearing Shadyside and have all sorts of adventures. They take lots of pictures to always remember this momentous occasion.

Cyrus is sick which leaves Jonah, TJ, and Marty alone unsupervised. They decide to have an adventure of their own and have a giant game of “The Floor is Lava” in public. They get kicked out of multiple locations. They end the day by going to The Spoon and having an eating competition to see who could finish their burger, fries, and milkshakes first. Being that TJ and Marty are used to bulk eating, Jonah is definitely the one who gives up and almost throws up.

Episode Twelve.

Walker, Libby, and Andi are preparing for the end of the year project where they could potentially be accepted into the school’s gallery, which is an honor and a party. Andi knows that she can create something amazing - but doesn’t know what she wants to do yet. They’re all stuffed into Andi shack, bouncing ideas off of each other. Walker wants to do a self-portrait vs. how the world sees him, Libby wants to create a sign-language sculpture, Andi is conflicted and has no idea what she wants to create.

Buffy/Marty + Cyrus/TJ double date. Lots of hijinks. They also definitely go bowling and Cyrus tries to bowl without bumpers. At one point, TJ ran to the bathroom and told Cyrus to take his turn (it didn’t matter because he was so far ahead, there was no chance of Cyrus ruining his chances of winning) Cyrus rolls a strike and celebrates. He then tries endlessly to replicate it for his own turns to no avail.

While at work, Jonah is talking to Bowie about life. He says that therapy is going really well and he hasn’t had many panic attacks since. He thanks Bowie for being there for him in the beginning and Bowie says that it’s no problem at all and that he’s glad Jonah is getting professional help. Jonah says that he really looks up to Bowie and tells him that today was career day and that the high schoolers were prompted to think about what they want to do when they’re an adult. Jonah said he has been thinking about pursuing music and wants to join a band. Bowie smiles and tells Jonah that he reminds him a lot of him when he was Jonah’s age. He advises Jonah to join a band, but to do it for the music and not for fame, because when he’s older and traveling, he might regret not being home for big things. Jonah tells Bowie that if he doesn’t do music for the rest of his life, he doesn’t know what else he would do. Bowie shrugs and says “You might not know what you want to do now, you might not know what you want to do when you’re 23, or 45, or 55. Life isn’t a straight line, it’s full of twists and turns. Just follow your heart and listen to The Universe in those times and you’ll end up where you need to be.”

Episode Thirteen.

Andi has decided that her end of the year project will be focused on her family. She decides to create a literal family tree - she crafts a tree and each branch has a picture of each family member. Branches, like Pops and his family’s, are clearly snapped at the base to show that it’s a broken tree and he left. Bex’s branch has the picture of her as a teen after just giving birth to Andi, Bowie’s branch splits into two to show that he was absent for 13 years, but then heavily involved, etc. (IDK. I know nothing about art and couldn’t come up with anything else lol)

Bex starts to participate in her photography club again, has been doing better at work, and has become more involved in the PTA at SAVA again. Bowie asks her if she remembers what they were talking about earlier in the year. Bex says “Another baby?” Bowie nods. “Yeah...I’m ready now.” He grins and tackles her in a hug and lots of kisses.

TJ gets his first A in math class, on the final test to boot, after a lot of hard work, tutoring, and accomodations. Cyrus takes him out on a date to celebrate.

Buffy and Marty are in this episode at some point, probably not a big part tbh. Mostly because I’m losing steam lol.

Episode Fourteen.

Andi made it into the gallery. Her entire family, GHC+, and Crafty Crew turn up to the gallery to see it and they all go to the after party for her. Cece says “I told you you just needed to believe in yourself first…” Bex and Bowie tell Andi how proud of her they are and because they are literally awful at timing, tell her that they’re going to be trying for a baby. Andi has very mixed feelings about this, but Walker interrupts and drags her out to dance and party with everyone.

The night ends with Cyrus, Buffy, and Andi having a sleepover. Lots of hugs, celebrations, and love. They definitely squish Andi when she’s sitting between them on the couch while watching movies.

At the end of the episode, Andi texts Jonah about how mixed she feels about having a sibling. Jonah says he can understand - she feels like she might be being replaced, that he felt that way a couple times. Andi asks, like when? Jonah admits that he felt that way when he saw Walker and Andi at the Bar Mitzvah and that was his first panic attack. Andi said that she had no idea he was having panic attacks that long, Jonah says “well now you know. Sorry for not telling you.” Jonah tells her that he’ll always be there to listen to her if she needs it.

#andi mack

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nascentesxmorimur · 5 years ago

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Her small feet swung slowly back and forth, unable to reach the floor in the chair she was sitting. Hands under her butt, she stared at one of the music posters across the room near the clock. The ticking of the little hand echoed with the voices chattering all around her. It was almost getting too loud for the young girl as her nerves made everything even louder. She shut her eyes for what felt like forever before their chorus director clapped her hands and tried to get the children’s attention. The ceremony was starting soon and the chorus was introducing it all with a song medley. Sky happened to be in chorus and didn’t have a choice. She hated performing in front of people. She was shy and being in the spotlight was never good for her. Any time she had attention on her it felt like she was just waiting for some kind of verbal or physical slap in the face. It was better for her to be unseen and unheard. There was less trouble that way. Somehow trouble always found her and she was extremely tired of it. Tonight was no exception. She already got shoved in the hall on her way to the music room. She was smaller than the other kids her age and looked different which made her the perfect target. Thankfully the teacher was here now and that means the sooner this event started, the faster it would be over.

The lights in the auditorium were still up as parents filed in with their children, expecting awards. The coveted ‘perfect attendance’ award hung in the balance, after all. The kids who were sent to school sick really craved that piece of paper signed by the principal with a little golden circle on it. Sky didn’t understand the premise of it but it was good to have goals, she suspected anyway. She didn’t ever win awards because she wasn’t overly exceptional at any subject that mattered and she wasn’t a leader by any means. She skated by in most of her classes, spending a lot of time doodling instead of listening to the teacher drone about things she didn’t really care about. She got decent grades, that wasn’t the issue, she just wasn’t overly concerned about overachieving. She heard it from all her teachers. Imagine what your grades could be if you put forth more effort. If you just apply yourself, you could have all A’s. The thing is, the only goal Sky strove for was getting to middle and high school and then getting out altogether. She only wanted to not fail to avoid punishment. One time she got a D in social studies because of her absences from school and her inability to get her homework from anyone and her foster dad let her have it. Even though he was the reason she missed so much school that it affected her grade. Talking about and making excuses for her shitty grades only made her punishment worse.

Sky stopped looking at the doors at the proud parents waltzing in with their kids. She was happy for them but at the same time, it made her sad. She knew it was stupid to be sad about, it was inevitable at things like this. The young girl couldn’t quite help feeling hurt by the circumstances though. For once it would be nice to be a normal kid with a family out there waiting to see if their kid would get noticed for something they were good at. But Sky wasn’t a normal kid. And she wasn’t overly good at anything. She was just ready to sing their group song and go wait out the night in the back of the auditorium so she could leave right at the end and wait outside to be picked up.

Eventually, the lights dimmed and the principal came onstage to introduce himself, the event, and the chorus who would be singing a song for them this evening. Sky sighed, trying not to look out at the people who were staring at the kids on the risers in front of the stage. She hated being stared at -- although she knew the parents were only looking at their kids, their eyes were staring in her direction and it made her uncomfortable. As the piano started playing, she nervously swallowed the lump in her throat and began singing with her classmates. She sang quietly, still trying to avoid looking out at the audience until something colorful caught her eye. She saw a big bouquet of flowers a few rows in but when she saw who was holding them, she froze with wide eyes. Her mouth kept singing on autopilot but the rest of her was in shock. It was Rye. And on either side of him was Cass with a camera and Ash beaming and waving excitedly to her when she made eye contact. They were..here? Was she imagining this? She blinked a few times and looked back at them to see if they were just an illusion of her own mind but they were still there. They were actually truly there. For me. Her chest tightened and she became a little more nervous yet not nervous at the same time. Almost emotional as the three smiled in the crowd. She couldn’t believe it. The first time she had someone out in the crowd and there were three of them...all there for her. She could’ve cried but she was still confused and a little scared that she was just imagining them there. She was also weirdly happy to see them. It was strange but she felt happy. Almost normal. And then, just for a moment, Sky smiled and sang a little bit louder with her excitement.

When their song was over, Sky couldn’t stop blushing knowing that her new family witnessed it all, but she was happy to see them regardless. She wanted to sit with them but had to sit in the designated student area up front to make it easier when they were called up to get their awards. Sky would’ve rather just sat with Cass, Rye, and Ash because she knew she’d just be sitting there watching the other kids get paper achievements for the next hour.

Eventually, Sky began tuning out the announcers onstage like she usually had when she pulled out her sharpie and started drawing on her wrist. It wasn’t until she heard her name called that she was snapped out of her doddle trance. “Huh?” she looked up at the stage, where her art teacher was smiling proudly. “Skyler, come get your award! For outstanding performance and talent in the subject of art!” Sky couldn’t believe it. She was so stunned she didn’t even cringe at her full name being called out loud. Hesitant at first, she quickened her pace when she realized that all eyes were definitely on her now. Her art teacher handed her the award and wrapped her in a hug. “Congratulations, Sky.” “Th-thank you.” She whispered and smiled back shyly before hurrying off the stage and back to her seat. She heard loud cheering and knew it was from the three familiar faces and the only ones who would be cheering that loudly at a fourth grade award ceremony. She was both excited and a little embarrassed but she smiled at the floor anyway. They were yelling and cheering for her. It was astounding. It was a foreign feeling but she couldn’t stop smiling even as she stared at the paper in her hands in disbelief.She actually won something? She actually won something. Not for a real subject like math or science or english, but it was something. And it was her favorite subject too. The teacher signed it at the bottom and her name was right there in bold calligraphic lettering. The girl clutched it throughout the whole rest of the show, basically clinging to it as if in fear that someone would try to take it back because of some error. It was hers. And she was proud of it? Yes. Yes that was the feeling, right? She was proud of this piece of paper tonight. It wasn’t a nobel peace prize but it was important to her. And she loved it. Maybe that was dumb but it was the only award she’d ever received and it was for something she loved. She may never get the holy perfect attendance award, but this one was way cooler to the 9 year old.

After the ceremony was over, Sky moved hastily into the hallway where a sea of people were all pushing and shoving to get to their kids and go home. She was being moved in the opposite direction that she intended to go when she felt a hand on her shoulder before being embraced in a tight bear like hug. She didn’t realize who it was at first, but the familiar smell of Cass’ perfume wafted the air before her little lungs were crushed by the woman’s hug. Sky smiled anyway and hugged her back. She was happy to see them and she was excited that they were there to see her award. Each of them took turns hugging the small girl and she hugged them back just as happily. “Thank you for coming.” She told them, embarrassed again slightly. “You didn’t have to..I hope you didn’t feel like you had to come.” Although she was happy that they did, the realization that they all probably had much better things to do that night hit her in the face like a fly baseball. “You guys probably had more important things to do tonight... I’m sorry if--” Ash was the first to cut her off, the smile never leaving the wolf’s face. “Hey, nothing is more important than this. We all wanted to be here tonight for you. We made sure to keep our schedules cleared to be here.” Rye nodded and added, “Yeah, there’s no way we’d miss out on seeing our little jedi sing for the whole fourth grade and get her art award!” Sky was holding back tears as they spoke, when Cass grabbed her hands and lightly poked her nose. “Kiddo if you thought we were gonna miss this, then you need to get to know us better. We love you and we waited all month to see you get this award. We’re so proud of you baby girl. So crazy proud.” Sky thought Cass might start crying but instead she hugged the child again tightly and Sky buried her face in the woman’s hair. “Thank you,” she clung to Cass as her emotions went haywire. “Thank you all..so much. I love you too. A lot.” And she did. She truly appreciated their presence and their effort. When Cass finally let go of her, Rye handed her the flowers he’d been holding onto. “And these, young padawan, are for you.” Sky took them slowly, smiling as she brought them to her nose. She inhaled the floral scent and held them close to her. “Thank you. They’re so pretty.” “Prettiest flowers for the prettiest girl.” The wolf grinned, ruffling her hair. “How about we go get some dinner and ice cream before we go home for movie night? Sound cool?” Rye asked, holding his arms out as if opening the question up to the floor. “I’m in.” Ash agreed and Cass nodded. “Sounds great to me! You in?” She asked Sky. Sky looked at them all and nodded too. “Okay! Yeah, that sounds nice.” “Sweet!” “Awesome.” “Let’s do it then. Let’s roll ladies.”

Later on, they all spent the rest of the night eating celebratory pizza and ice cream and watching movies with popcorn and milkshakes. There was debate of framing Sky’s award versus putting it up on the fridge and which was better versus more traditional. It was decided that they’d frame it and display it proudly to keep it safe from kitchen accidents. The three praised the little girl, all so incredibly proud of her, and Sky felt loved and dare she say, somewhat normal, for the first time in her life. Even though their little family was anything but normal. She loved these people and they loved her and that was more than enough. More than anything she could’ve ever wished for on birthday candles or shooting stars. She had a real family now. And she loved them more than anything.

#heartsunspoken #drabble #have some gushy family feels #the ending is terrible #because i wanted to leave it sort of open ended but also wrap it up so idk #but anyway #headcanon accepted #and is now canon #boom

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loving-jack-kelly · 6 years ago

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Jack Kelly is not Stupid!

(An entire three page essay by me, Asper, who's in love with Jack Kelly.)

Okay listen we all know I love Jack Kelly and I adore Jack Kelly and Jack Kelly is an incredible character, but let me talk about Jack Kelly right now. Jack Kelly is a goddamn genius, and nobody seems to think so, including himself. We’re talking right now specifically how I write Jack in modern au, but plenty of this could also apply to canon so let’s just dive right in.

When I write modern Jack, I write a very specific character across any and all aus. Jack Kelly is a foster kid from an immigrant household, he spoke Spanish at home, he has ADHD and dyslexia, struggles with anxiety and often with depression, and thinks he’s stupid. He’s not stupid, in fact, he’s pretty goddamn smart, but he doesn’t see it in himself.

Davey Jacobs and Katherine Plumber-Pulitzer are very similar in many ways. Both of them are also very smart, Davey has dyslexia and Katherine had ADHD, both of them have their own anxiety to deal with, but the difference is the environment they grew up in.

Jack moved around a lot. He moved schools, families, friends, towns, and he never did well in school. He struggled in English, both because he didn’t speak it as well as he spoke Spanish until he was in foster care, and because of his dyslexia. He didn’t recognize it as dyslexia, or ADHD, for that matter, because everyone always had a different explanation. He moved around so much, the curriculums were different, the assignments, the teachers, of course he wasn’t getting incredible grades. He couldn’t focus, so he acted out. It wasn’t malicious, he wasn’t trying to be disruptive, but after a half hour of trying to read a book he couldn’t make sense of even when he could make the letters stay put in the right order on the page, he couldn’t sit still anymore. It was easier to doodle on the worksheets, to draw little comics of funny things happening around him, to chat with the person next to him. Beyond that, he learned pretty quickly that if he made the jokes before he became the joke, people laughed with him, not at him. And one of those was decidedly better than the other. So people put his bad grades down to him never paying attention in class, and nobody ever bothered to ask if he was having trouble paying attention, or having trouble learning, they just assumed he was bad at school, at eventually, when enough people told him that? He started to believe it. It was easier to believe that he was just bad at English than to try to convince people that he wasn’t joking when he said “I can’t read” and that he wanted to pay attention but every time he tried to force himself too, it seemed like he just got distracted again. Knowing the name of every constellation in the sky didn’t mean he was smart, he learned that on his own time and it didn’t make him smart, he just liked the night sky, is all. And being able to focus on art for hours and hours and hours without noticing the time passing by, that was just because art was, well, art, and he could never get bored of that. He was stupid, but art wasn’t something he had to be smart to do. Never mind how many classical painters he could identify without names next to the painting, never mind the fully accurate map of the night sky he painted after months of careful research, never mind how much he loved math, he couldn’t ever focus and he got bad grades in school and he was stupid, he couldn’t keep up and it took him five times as long to get anything done and he was stupid.

Davey, on the other hand, grew up in a steady, stable, loving home. He loved stories, and wanted to learn to read as soon as he was old enough to understand that those marks on the page are what were telling the stories, but it was hard for him. At first, his parents and teachers assumed it was just because he was young and just learning to read, but eventually they watched him read and compared how fast he was moving in reading and writing to how fast he was moving in other subjects, and decided to test him, and realized he had dyslexia. So he had reading interventions, and was taught how to deal with it, and was able to compensate for it.

And Katherine had a similar thing. She was smart and everyone knew it, she got good grades in school, but she could never focus and they recognized it as ADHD and she was given ways to deal with it, and it didn’t affect her so much because she was given accommodations and support.

Jack didn’t get any of that. He got new school after new school after new school, and all of them and himself blamed it on the moves and Jack just not being good at school. He was just stupid.

And he met Davey and Katherine and it just cemented that idea in his mind. They were so smart, and they mentioned sometimes having trouble but they were so smart and did so well in school, he only did well in art and music, and he could barely read and barely focus and Davey and Katherine were just so smart, and he was nothing like them, so he couldn’t be smart. He was just stupid.

The thing is, he isn’t. He loves stories, he loves telling them and hearing them and it’s frustrated him time and time again that other people can read a book in a week and he can read an hour a day for two months and only be halfway done, because the letters don’t stay still and the words don’t even look like words and it takes him ten minutes to piece together a two sentences. But he listens to audiobooks, and Davey can’t figure out how he figures out Agatha Christie mysteries before the end, and Katherine never ceases to be amazed at how much he retains from nerdy podcasts she sends him because she thinks he’ll like them. He knows more about the night sky than the people who run the planetarium, and loves to lean over and tell Davey when a fact is wrong, that star is this many light years away and that means the light we’re seeing was made when the dinosaurs were around, isn’t that incredible? And he can spend hours making a painting just right, and pick out the perfect ratio in a painting without even thinking about it, and knows more about art history and color theory and the science, chemistry and math that go into art than most art teachers did. Reading was just hard, so he didn’t get good grades and had stopped trying to a long time ago, because trying just resulted in late nights and frustration and thinking he was even stupider than he already did.

And the thing about thinking you’re stupid is that it doesn’t go away. Eventually, sure he and Davey were talking about something and Davey described dyslexia and Jack was like oh shit! That’s me! And eventually the same thing happened with Katherine, and he was like double shit! That’s also me! But it didn’t really matter because they could be so smart even with those things affecting them, and he couldn’t. Because he was stupid.

Because thoughts like that don’t go away, at least not all the way, so now maybe he could blame pieces of being bad at school on them, but most of it he was convinced still came out of him being stupid. And it’s hard to convince him otherwise, because he’d been thinking like that for so long, and because he sees Davey and Katherine and can’t help thinking that they’re so much smarter than him, even though they’re not, really, they’ve just been supported and accommodated more throughout their lives, which obviously means they’ve been able to deal with it more.

And beyond that, Jack’s anxiety plays a huge part, too, because he can be sitting in bed, doing homework, and his ADHD is making it hard to focus and his dyslexia is making it hard to read and his anxiety is telling him he’ll never get it done and he’ll get a bad grade and he’ll fail the class, and that makes it harder to focus, which means he’s reading even slower, which means he’s even more anxious, which means it’s harder to focus, et cetera, et cetera. And that just makes him feel even more dumb, because it’s something else he can’t control that other people don’t even see as a problem. Because he says he can’t read, and people tell him to stop joking and get back to work, like that’s gonna help him. Because he says he can’t focus and people tell him to focus, like that’s gonna make a difference. Because he says he gets anxious and people tell him they do do, just get over it, like that’s gonna make a difference. And because when he says he’s depressed, when all of the things he’d gone through and everything he thinks about himself and all his fears and doubts feel like they’re suffocating him, people tell him to cheer up, smile, stop being so sad, like that was enough to make him feel better.

So he always feel stupid, especially in comparison to his friends, but he’s not, he just didn’t have the opportunities his friends did to learn how to work around their problems, and he didn’t. He didn’t get taught how to work around his dyslexia, he didn’t get to learn how to deal with ADHD, he didn’t get medication for ADHD or anxiety, he just dealt with it in his own way, which didn’t get him good grades. Because his way of dealing with it was making jokes and not even trying once he realized that trying didn’t even do him any good. He’s not stupid, and maybe he technically knows that, but hearing it and believing it so long and his own cycle of anxiety and depression combined mean that he can’t quite make himself really believe it.

But Jack Kelly isn’t stupid, he only thinks he is because he hasn’t had the resources and environment that would have allowed him to grow into his own intelligence in the same way Davey and Katherine did, so he found his own ways to express it, but he doesn’t consider that intelligence, and constantly compares himself to them even though they aren’t really that comparable, but he thinks they are and therefore thinks he’s stupid thank you for coming to my TED talk titled “Jack Kelly is Not Stupid and Also I Love Him.”

#jack kelly #newsies #jack kelly hc #newsies hc #davey jacobs #davey jacobs hc #katherine plumber #katherine plumber hc

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brakken · 7 years ago

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Replayed Life is Strange ep. 5, thoughts below.

Buckle in - I had a lot to say.

I was nervous about revisiting this one. The first time I played, this ending wrecked me. And I mean wrecked. I was in tears for hours. I had trouble sleeping for weeks. I couldn’t think about the game without wanting to cry. I wanted to draw fan art for it, but couldn’t without breaking down. In many ways, I’m still affected by it. This game changed me.

So, I was nervous. And not just because of how hard it hit me the first time, but I was nervous about how I’d react in replaying. Would I notice something I didn’t the first time, that would ruin the experience for me? Would I cry as much? And if I didn’t, would that mean that I didn’t like it as much? How much of that original feeling was satisfaction, and how much was disappointment?

-spoilers ahead for LiS Ep. 5-

I touched on this very briefly last time, but I want to talk about it further here, where it comes more into play:

I do not like the Jefferson twist. Coupled with Rachel’s death, it is a shallow and uninteresting answer to her disappearance, regardless of their attempts to pretty it up with the Prescott’s involvement. Strip away the red herrings and tangled threads, and what you’re left with is a dead girl and a murderer. Jefferson becomes unrecognisable in his unveiled role - his tropey villain dialogue and mannerisms separate him so far from his earlier scenes that it may as well have been an all-new person. Maybe this was the intention, but it reads to me as utterly cliche. How frightening would he have been, had he kept his familiar composure? How much more menacing, now that his mannerisms are given a horrific context?

Even within the narrative, his portrayal in this episode feels completely wrong. Jefferson goes from a man with a sick passion for capturing true innocence, to one willing to murder multiple people. It is never understood that murder is part of his pattern. Rachel’s death was an accident at Nathan’s hands, yet now we have Jefferson killing him, Chloe, Victoria, and the intention to kill Max, all with nary a hint of remorse or doubt. He is just the bad guy now - plain and simple. And in a game where so much else is designed to be not so clean-cut, that’s... pretty boring.

With that out of the way, I do think the scenes themselves are done well. Awakening in the dark room is genuinely tense and scary - moreso with Victoria present. Desperately hopping in and out of photographs to different moments of captivity is incredibly effective - it packs on such helplessness and danger.

And even while not being thrilled with Jefferson as the villain, and while understanding it would soon fall apart, it is incredibly satisfying to help Max attain the following victories via time-hopping. A lot of the game focuses on retreading conversations with new information, and consequently, Max displays boosted confidence upon these repetitions. Returning to the first scene is where this is at its peak. She knows everything - and she’s powerful. It’s also in parts like this where I would like to applaud the designers for having a clear vision from the outset (even if I wasn’t entirely thrilled with aspects of that vision).

A really strong story-telling tool is introducing a solution before the problem arrives, to trick the audience into thinking it’s unimportant until the reveal. Having us take the selfie right at the start of the game is a great use of this. What seemed like just a moment in a scene becomes absolutely vital - but only after we discover we can rewind with photographs. (this is also why the ep.4 Warren moment feels so weirdly deliberate. We already know how her powers work by this point so we’re paying attention every time a new photo is taken.)

I’d been put the ending off for a while.

Once I played up to the art gallery, I took a break and then just... left it there. Left Max in a peaceful moment.

I wasn’t ready.

But lately it seemed like the real world was telling me to return to it. After a week with no breeze, the wind began picking up, and it looked like there could be rain. I found myself idly doodling Chloe and Max in my intervals between work. I had someone here ask me if I’d be writing thoughts for episode 5. I was discovering new music that aligned all too well with where I was at with the characters.

So, I finally decided it was time, and sat down, and finished playing. Only the next morning did I realise I’d done so on October 11, the in-game day of the storm.

Before moving into the next act of the episode, I want to say I really appreciate the way they’ve sculpted so many different ways to apply Max’s rewind power. It’s great that they’re able to keep surprising me while not emptying their cache too quickly. However, I reaaally wish (and was expecting) that time-freezing would make a return in this finale. It’s used well in ep.2 with Kate, but I feel like it introduced a new threat that is never paid off. Once it’s established that Max’s power can weaken her to the point where it doesn’t function, there is now a looming danger for when that will happen again - maybe this time, the cost will be Chloe, or the town, or even Max herself. But it never does. The closest we get is when Chloe is shot at the end of ep.4, but the power's failure is more directly from Jefferson’s sedation, rather than a weakness on Max’s part. And when she does falter again, it manifests as a prolonged out-of-nowhere dream sequence. There’s some creative stuff present there, but it also stands as a missed opportunity to toy further with tangible peril.

On with the escape. Don’t have much to say here. I may not have been happy with his new portrayal, but it’s still satisfying to watch Jefferson get taken down. It’s nice to see David on the same team as Max, and it’s a good start to a series of character farewell scenes.

Followed closely by a bad one.

Nathan is thrown to the wayside to an unforgivable degree here. He’s been pivotal in Max and Chloe’s connection uptil now, even though a lot of that happens off-screen. But as soon as he’s no longer the main threat, his presence, character, and life are all discarded. His phone message in the car provides some closure, but is far too little too late and serves more as insult to injury than any kind of saving face.

Meanwhile, Warren, a character with more screentime than Nathan but of relative unimportance to the main story, is given a spotlighted farewell. I don’t get this. I have no harsh feelings against Warren, but insofar as his relevance to Max and Chloe’s arcs, he is a sideliner. Since his primary presence has centred around a potential romance for Max, his farewell scene should be treated with an equal amount of focus. It really annoys me that you are forced to tell him about Max’s powers - there is no way to opt out of it, and all it leads to is him guilt-tripping Max with ‘Chaos Theory’ and ‘choosing the right thing’, which the game is about to throw at us anyway in the dream sequence. It’s also unjust to the scene’s purpose, which is a farewell. We may not fully know it, but we’re saying goodbye to these characters one by one. We’ve just come away from our farewells with Joyce and Frank, and all Warren wants to do is talk plot. But whatevs, I still hugged him.

The confession about letting William die was painful. I wasn’t predicting it to come up again, and by this point it felt like so long ago. And yet, it works. We’ve returned to a Chloe who’s early off of discovering Rachel’s death - and she doesn’t want to listen. And we need her to listen. Most conversations in the game can’t lead to a failure, but I find it really interesting that this one does.

I’m very conflicted about the dream sequence. Conceptually, I love it. I love when games mess with their established order, and they’re certainly evoking a feeling of helplessness in me upon returning once again to that damn classroom. But, it rubs me the wrong way here, too. We’ve beaten the mini-boss of the game. We defeated Jefferson. Yet the final time we see him is here, forcing us to say words we don’t want to, and watch him take photos of Chloe with us strapped to a chair. I get this is Max internalising her insecurities... but we beat him. We’re onto the final boss, now - the storm. Jefferson is obsolete at this point, and there’s no rhyme or reason to show him in power again.

(sidebar: the bottle-collecting in the hide-and-seek segment was confusing and dumb and made me angry that they were still injecting completion rewards this late in the story)

I also don’t like the Dark Room sequence of the dream, because it villainises Chloe. All the other sequences present us with twisted versions of Arcadia Bay residents. Dead versions, cruel versions. We’re witnessing the weight of guilt that coincides with the coming choice, culminating in an encounter with the Other Max, and Chloe saving us from her. This should have been Chloe’s first appearance in the dream. The Dark Room sequence where she jeers at Max’s shortcomings seems so out of place with the rest of what is being said. I think this is especially noticeable given the following walk down memory lane, showing us everything we’ll lose on the alternate side of the choice.

(sidebar: I wish that the walk had been done better - I never knew when to stop and listen to the voiceovers and when to continue onto the next highlighted moment, and it was always jarring whenever the dialogue got interrupted)

I was fully ready for Rachel to appear in this dream, in some form or another. With everything culminating, and Max messing more with time, coupled with how blunt they were to put Rachel in the ground in the previous ep, I was waiting and I was hoping. But she never showed. And I don’t understand why. As I said with Nathan, Rachel is integral in the centric plotline of Max and Chloe’s reunion. I need to stress this - even though she’s never seen on-screen, she is a dominating factor in our two main characters’ growth, and is little more than a footnote in this finale.

What we get instead at the end of this dream, is Other Max. I don’t have much to say about her. In my eyes she’s very much just a culmination of the dream thusfar. She doesn’t represent much to me beyond that, except a missed opportunity to meet Rachel and find out what the hell is going on.

Can we touch on that quickly, before the final scene? What the hell is going on? I don’t want to have everything bluntly spelled out, but... did the designers really feel like they’d laid enough groundwork that the answer should be obvious? When Chloe hamfistedly states it’s a mystery we’ll ‘obviously never figure out’... damn. That hurts. I mean, I have my own theory - I like it, and it’s the lens I choose to view the story through. But it’s unfair to put it on the players to do this heavy-lifting. We relied on the designers to draw the path for us to follow, and they took us to a dead end.

So let’s talk about the final choice. Even in replaying, and with the dream sequence’s attempts to balance the scales last-minute, my decision here still remained the same, for a couple of reasons. The first being the game’s true title, as I have mentioned earlier - ‘Save Chloe: The Game’. And hey, this doesn’t suddenly change in the final episode. This was, for me, the fixed goal as soon as I caught onto it. And to save Chloe here, she needs to be able to live past her grief. Contrasted to the alternate Chloe, whose prison was inescapable - saving her came from letting her go. But here, we need to hold on.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

My second main reason is Max’s character growth, and the overall narrative. This young girl is warned of a coming storm, and is then given time-altering powers. And she is constantly asking why. Not just why she got powers, but what she is meant to learn from having them. On the surface, what she learns is ‘don’t mess with time a bunch because a storm will happen’ and with that you can lean either way on the choice. But if I was going to carve right to the heart, I see the story saying ‘you can’t fix all your mistakes, but you can move through the consequences and grow in the aftermath.’ Every problem she's faced in the story uptil this point, she has tampered with to some degree in order to solve. And to do so, again, for this final decision, would make her arc amount to nothing. This needs to be different from letting William die, otherwise the game could have ended there. There is no easy decision, but the storm is here. All the pieces lie where they fell, both good and bad.

I’m tearing this damn photograph.

All that said, I can’t and won’t fault anyone for going the other way. I haven’t played or watched the alternate ending, so far all I know it performs well and ticks story checkboxes that I can’t see over here on the ‘bae’ side.

This choice felt and still feels like the right one to me. From outside the narrative, I can certainly weigh the options and see sacrificing Chloe as the more viable. (though if you want to talk pragmatism, there is absolutely no reason why either of them should think that letting Chloe die should fix everything)

But while it’s important to ask ‘what would I do?’, it’s also been immensely important to me in these playthroughs to ask ‘what would Max do?’, or further, ‘what could Max do?’

So that was my choice. As I said at the beginning, I was nervous as to how I’d feel at the end, after having been so deeply affected the first time. And now, after crying through the whole epilogue, I found myself wondering if I’d cried enough. I looked up the scene online and watched it again, and cried. And then again, and cried. But what was this empty feeling? Is this what it felt like before, or was something blocking me from experiencing it properly?

After stepping outside into the 4am light, and then another rewatch, I realised I was, in a way, messing with time. Trying to force things, just like Max was. I even had my own Other Max in my head, making me question my own thoughts and feelings. So it was time to let it be what it was, and move on. I couldn’t recreate my first play, but I could let myself get swept up in this one.

Since finishing the game, it’s been raining non-stop here. I’ve kept inside, surrounded by the aftermath of this playthrough.

Playing this game changed me. For all it did right and all it did wrong, I was affected. It’s the first time in my life that I’ve consciously noted a tangible shift in who I am as a person. It’s brought me closer to my emotions, and has altered my creativity. It made me revise one of my comic ideas into a game - something I would never have considered on my own.

Even with all these thoughts, I reckon this comic I made accurately sums up my whole experience.

And as I’ve done each time, here are my favourite moments from this episode:

-'I’ll always be with you.’ ‘Forever.’

-Clasping hands, as the storm rages.

-Max, unable to watch, leaning into Chloe, who looks on with newfound strength.

-Driving through the town, now in pieces. Max, too, in pieces.

-Max’s weak smile when Chloe moves to comfort her. It’s going to be okay. They’re together.

(heck, I cried just typing those out, I am so done, haha)

To anybody who read this far - thank you so, so much. This game holds a lot of emotional value to me, and hence these write-ups are probably the most personal thing I’ve put out here for people to see. So thank you for taking the time to look at this. I hope you’re having a wonderful day.

Wah, this was all in preparation for the first episode of Before the Storm, and now episode 2 is about to be released. I gotta dig in!

As always, here’s a lil sketch <3

#max talks about life is strange

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dreadlock-detective · 7 years ago

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PREPARE FOR THE ASK ANSWER OMNIBUS!

I'm clearing out my ask box, so here's a rapid fire bunch of answers to the 43 questions in there! A lot of these I wanted to draw a comic or do a little animation for but just never got the time or energy, and others I didn't know what to say, but I think that some response is better than no response, so while these are all going to be either text or doodles, I wanted them all to actually get answers.

Below the cut because this’ll be a hella long one~ Plenty of Zelda doodles in there though so if you just wanna see doofy drawings click too!

@definitely-darcy - Ahhh I'm sorry I wanted to make an animated gif of this for a long time now and just never got around to it T_T. But thank you for the kind words!

@hfbdhhjsbnjdknfsjkbnfkjbgsm… I feel like this is some kind of internet talk that I totally missed the memo on

@sgo-j - Buliara definitely needs some art! She'll actually show up in my AU comic if I get far enough… probably another 3 sets of pages away or more at this point though.

@jackiithedevil - !!!!!!!! <3

@sparkybananaboi - no wolf Link but it’s somethin ;D

@scythfi-writer - Ahhhhh pressure! Eheheh, but glad I could entertain! Hope I haven’t disappointed so far ;D

@draceempressa - …wait there's a sidequest about that!? I saw the sign on the cliff but never saw a sidequest about it lol. Dangit even though I got this ask a while ago I forgot all about it lol. WHELP something else to do when I get back into the game for the DLC!

@rabbitmagic - Even a messenger of the heavens needs a hobby, right? :D

@nathanswallofopinion - They only think that because they haven't been seduced by his amazing puns yet~

Bucket has since died~ using my Windows PC now. Which drives me insane, but at least it's way more powerful than my old iMac. (Still hate Windows though - it's user interface is just so horribly inefficient…)

We're all wonderful band of seally fools here! Glad to have ya!

Teba's been in my AU comic stuff so far, and his family will probably show up in the next set if I get around to it. Unfortunately his personality doesn't lend itself too well to my stupid jokes so he's only been in my more serious stuff so far~

@verlinktbeichris

@sparkybananaboi

Is this still a problem? I haven’t got a way to check lol. I need to update it anyway to be more informative so I guess I’ll check it out then!

JUST AS SOON AS I CAN GET THE WORLD DOMINATION APP TO INSTALL ON THIS DANG THING!

I have no idea what you're talking about, Anon~ Just a bunch of potassium lovers here that's all~!

@redventure - That's Bob~ he's super supportive~ Kind of an enabler really…

@angeliquenoir1912

Ahhh!! thanks!!

Hm. Uh. Not that I've seen, but I'm not exactly diving into their collection~...

Once while he was relaxing out of uniform he ran into a nervous Shiekah girl. They got into a pretty heated argument over who’s face tattoo was upside down. Does that count?

I think this was before my Mipha comic, so at least I’ve drawn her a bit more, but yeah no Link x Mipha stuff directly yet~ I might get around to it! No silly ideas are coming to me to doodle out right now though, sorry!

OH MY GOD BE PREPARED IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS EVER AND AFTER READING THIS I WANTED TO DO A WHOLE ANIMATIC OF GANNY DOING THE SONG BUT THAT WAS EXACTLY WHEN MY COMPUTER DIED AND I LOST ALL MOTIVATION T_T

But I needed to at least do my favorite bit

Fun Fact: apparently the Hyrule Warriors website lists Dragmire as his last name again. Not that that game is canon but still. But yeah high five for old school Zelda lore!

*cries because I don’t have photoshop on my PC to edit Kamina’s shades onto loads of Sidon screenshots for this reply*

@purrple--kat - Well I sure have done a lot of art of them from commissions now haven't I? lol. I think they're a cute couple~ From my own relationship I can say that having the same sense of humor is vital for me, and those two are definitely on the same level!

*strikes a Kamina pose with Kamina shades to make other Anon happy too~*

@asfcruppy + @talk-shit-you-get-hit - I have a little comic half drawn for this but it's on my Surface instead of my PC.. need to get that moved over to finish it up~!

…why did I never think to do this? Of all the dumb things I've done, this was not one of them! I am ashamed!

YA HA HAA! YOU FOUND ME!... what you were looking for an answer from someone?

All 900 Koroks end up in group therapy because they get so confused by Mr. Hero’s behavior they legit cannot deal and are tired of him handing them self help books~

Bonus: They don’t have a digestive system, so logically you can just feed them the same apple over and over! (Need to go make another stal-horse friend sometime~)

@fluxed-touko - Ssshhhhh! Spoilers maybe ;)

@kirchuuuu (this one wont tag for some reason?)- I did one drawing of her being a bit older, but still wasn't an adult~ I like to imagine she'd actually still be super short though, mostly because it keeps her distinct from the others (speaking of, what the heck happens to Gerudo when they're older? the old gerudo are all so much shorter! And then there's the Twinrova witches from Ocarina… Gerudo spines must be all sorts of weird, start tiny, get huge, shrink down super small….)

@capnbanana - Usually 8.5x11 (standard US letter size), 300dpi. 350dpi for commissions, and commissions and comics are more likely to end up a different size (though never smaller for commissions)

Considering the lack of any sort of reference to a Gerudo king in BotW, I personally feel like the Gerudo abandoned that tradition after Ganny went evil. Not against him being actually Gerudo though!

@legoofallthemes22505 (this one wont take either...)- SOON!

@jcummins151 - Ahh thanks <3 I'm glad random strangers on the internet are enjoying my silly stuff! And I don't really mind that people want me to draw NSFW stuff - it's kind of flattering to know people find my art good enough to.. uh… wanna.. *cough* *Mighty Banana jokes*

Ahahahaha, I love that this was the next one to come in after that last one! Nothing in the works but maybe some day :P

@bearlycute - He’d freaking LOVE it if they’d be content to just watch or snuggle...

HOLY CRUD THAT’S ALL OF THEM! GEEZUM!

Thank you to everyone! Love hearing from ya’ll, and sorry if it takes me forever to reply to asks sometimes! Can’t guarantee I always will but I’ll always try to and DEFINITELY read every one! Love ya!

#ask omnibus #Legend of Zelda #LoZ #Link #Korok #Riju #Urbosa #Yunobo #Yiga #Dave #Bob #PUNS #Breath of the Wild #BotW #Dreadlock Detective

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tourlouxx · 8 years ago

Text

Ex’s

So I was wondering what it would be like if Kanan ran into one of his ex-girlfriends, so I wrote it down.

Enjoy

It was a busy day in the streets of Lothal. Kanan, Hera, Zeb, Sabine and Ezra were in Capital City’s biggest market looking for some much needed supplies. They had been eating ration packs for the past few weeks and everyone was sick of it. Well, everyone except Hera. After all these years Kanan was still surprised at how delighted she would get when any type of food was put in front of her, even if it made the rest of them want to puke, and they were no strangers to hunger either.

Kanan scanned the different fruit and vegetable stands looking for the ingredients necessary for a stew he hadn’t had in years. For some reason, he was really craving it recently. It went back to his days as a bachelor, working on some diner in a backwater world. He wasn’t a bad cook. People seemed to really like his food and, hey, he liked it too.

He was going through the recipe in his head when Sabine’s voice interrupted his train of thought.

“Kanan?”

It came from behind him, turning around to look at her he found her staring at him with a strange pleading look in her eyes.

“Yeah?” he responded.

“There’s an art store there” she said, gesturing towards it, “Can I go check it out?”

Oh of course. Art supplies. As if she doesn’t have enough already, he thought musing to himself. But he was in a good mood, and Sabine was a good kid. She deserved it. “Sure”

“Can I go with her?” Ezra said.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll go with you guys. Zeb! Hera!” He called back “Keep looking for the supplies we’ll be right back” At Zeb’s grumbling response they went on their way.

The art store wasn’t much. It mostly had traditional paints used for Lothal folklore art (Kanan was surprised the Empire hadn’t cracked down on that yet). It also had drawing pencils, sketchbooks, water paints, etc… Pretty regular art store if you ask him, but, of course, Kanan was never much of an artist.

As soon as they got to the store, Sabine launched herself into the place. Her eyes glued to the different materials in the various shelves. While, Ezra mysteriously stayed at his side staring at the store from where they were both standing. Silent. Huh

“So…” Kanan ventured, raising an eyebrow.

“So what?”

“Aren’t you gonna go take a look?”

“Oh no…” He shrugged “I’m not much of an artist. Besides, I just wanted to get out of the streets. My hands get itchy when I’m around big crowds”

Kanan hummed and nodded in understanding. After years in the streets, pickpocketing was as natural to Ezra as breathing, he had needed it to survive. Shaking the habit must be tough, but he was still making the effort, which they all appreciated. The less attention drawn to themselves the better.

“You should still get something” Kanan insisted, “You could use a hobby”, which was true, Ezra was a busy kid. Between missions and training, Kanan wondered what he did whenever he did have time off.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean something to do in your spare time, you’re really busy. You could use something to help you cool off you know?”

“I already have hobbies”

Well, that was a lie if he’d ever heard one.

“Really?”, Kanan said, incredulously, “Like what?”

“Uhhhh… I clean the ship”

“That’s your hobby?”

“Yeah…”

“And you actually enjoy doing it?”

“Yes” Ezra said, with as much fake confidence as he could muster. Crossing his arms across his puffed chest.

“Then why do you whine every time Hera asks you to do it?”

“Uhhhh… it’s… you know…”

“Ezra” Kanan interrupted him, Ezra had clearly lost this battle “Go pick something, I’ve seen you doodle I know you like it”

“It’s fine, Kanan” He said, in an exasperated tone, “It’s money we could spend on something else”

Kanan sighed, So that’s what this is about then. The kid still had trouble letting other people take care of him, but this was an old argument. He pinched the bridge of his nose, took a deep breath and released it.

“Ezra”, Kanan said, slowly and patiently “We’ve talked about this. It’s no trouble”

Ezra sighed then looked up at him “Are you sure?”

“Yes!” He responded, chuckling slightly “Go!” he encouraged Ezra by pushing him slightly with his hand on his back.

Before Ezra went to explore he turned around “Hey Kanan?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks”

The made him smile “No problem, kid”

The minutes ticked by as the kids went through apparently every item this store had to offer, leaving Kanan alone. He rested his back against the wall and closed his eyes. Today was a good day. It was just him and the kids and no one was going to attack them. Today was a luxury.

He smiled to himself. They really were like a family. He did consider them his kids.

“Oh my gods! Kanan?” A familiar voice cut him out of his trance and made him open his eyes.

The sight was of a dark skinned woman with deep blue eyes and a curly long hair. One that he recognized.

“Jadah?!”

Before he could say anything else a sharp pain struck him across the face. Yep, he was pretty sure he was gonna be walking around with a handprint on his face for the rest of the day. He instinctively reached up to grab it, trying to soothe it.

“Ok,ok” he muttered, putting his free palm up in defeat. “I deserved that”

He did. He really did.

“Yeah you certainly did” She said, as if echoing his thoughts. “After what you did to me I’d say you deserve more”

“What did he do?” Sabine’s voice came from behind him. He turned around to see her and Ezra standing right behind him, art supplies long forgotten. Great, he thought. Just perfect.

He had kept drunken past mostly hidden from the kids. He wasn’t proud of it. It was a dark time in his life. And now his past was staring at him in the face, in the form of a very beautiful woman who he had slept with a few alcohol-fueled nights then left behind as soon as he could. Although, in his defense, he had thought that she was a little insane at the time.

“Well, for starters, he...”

“WOW WOW WOW”, he interrupted her as soon as she started speaking, he doubted anything she was going to say was appropriate for the kids. His breakup with Jadah (or, well, his leaving Jadah) was due to a horrible misunderstanding. One that he did not want to explain in front Sabine and Ezra, “They don’t need to hear it”

“They don’t need to hear WHAT, Kanan?!” She snapped “The fact that you propose to me then left without so much as a note?”

“Ugghh” he groaned. Rubbing his face with his hand. He really wished the kids weren’t here.

“Wow Kanan” Said Sabine behind him

“I didn’t propose” he muttered into his hands

“What?” Jadah said, clearly annoyed

“I didn’t propose!”

“Oh yeah right now you’re just denying it!”

“No, I am not!”

“Oh yeah? How was I supposed to interpret ‘I want to marry you?’ huh?”

“I said COULD, I COULD marry you!” then he leaned in a spoke between clenched teeth “And considering the situation we were in I wouldn’t have taken it very seriously”. They had been together three nights the ‘incident’ happened in the last one.

“Oh so you’re saying I’m the fool for thinking you loved me while I had my lips around your...”

“Can we PLEASE not do this in front of the kids?” He interrupted.

“WOW Kanan” Said Sabine again, this time there was a slight chuckle in her voice.

“Sabine!” He said warningly, shooting her a look. Ezra looked puzzled. She just looked amused

“Who are these kids anyway?” She questioned, frowning as she said it, “Are they yours?”

“Uhhhh….”He hesitated, looking back at them. They just shrugged “Kinda?”

“What? How old were you when you got her pregnant? 13?”

“I’m taking care of them.”

“Who’s dumb enough to entrust you with their kids?”

“I’m a different person now.”

“HA! Like I would believe that”

“I am.”

“Really? What sort of life changing decisions have you made since we last saw each other?”

“I quit drinking” Karabast, the kids would now know he was a drunk. Great. Just fantastic.

Jadah was taken aback, her eyebrows flew up in visible surprise “Wow” was all she could say. They hadn’t been together for that long, but she knew the type, the drunk drifter. Who spent all the money they won on booze. But she had given herself to him in hopes he would be different, she was thoroughly disappointed.

“Yeah” He said, grabbing his neck with one hand, looking down. “It became a real issue”

“Well what changed?

As if on cue Hera’s voice cut his response. “Kanan are you in here? What’s taking so long?,” As she saw the scene before her there was a slight pause and the she asked “What’s going on?”

Kanan sighed, then “She did”. Zeb was right behind her. Now everyone would see him humiliate himself. Great!

Hera walked over to Kanan’s side, put an arm around his waist and gave him a questioning look. He just gestured to Jadah in response, he was red. She then raised her free hand towards Jadah, inviting her to shake it. “Hey, I’m Hera”

“Jadah” She said, accepting the invitation.

“So… you and Kanan are… what exactly?” She said, a slow smirk tugging at the side of her lips.

Kanan turned to glare at her. Of course she knew what they were. She was probably enjoying this.

“Someone who he owes an apology to”

“Huh! I bet he does” She laughed and gave Kanan the do-this-or-no-sex-for-a-month look, at that point he didn’t have much of a choice.

“Listen, Jadah. I’m sorry, I really am. I was an asshole back then and you deserve to hate me. I am a different guy now. Hera and I have lived together for six years now and we have our own little family. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I know, but… I’m still asking for it” He meant every word.

Hera’s arm tightened around his waist, she looked up at him and smiled. There was pride in her eyes. He smiled back.

“Wow, so you have changed.” Jadah said in disbelief.

“I have” He shrugged.

“Apology accepted.” She smiled.

He reached away from raise his arms in invitation for a hug. She accepted and hugged him then pulled back

“Have a nice life, Kanan”

“You too”

And the she walked away.

They all watched her leave and then Kanan sighed and buried his head in his hands. That had been embarrassing and a reminder of the time of his life when he was wandering pointlessly around the galaxy hurting people in the process. It was not a nice reminder. The one thing that made it better was when Hera put her arms around his waist again and nestled by his side. “You did good” she whispered. Yes, he would always be grateful for her. Without her he’d probably be dead in a ditch somewhere. Death by alcohol. Or drugs. Or worse.

He leaned his head against Hera’s and their foreheads touched. He closed his eyes and focused on her presence, that always managed to calm him down. They were both enjoying the silence Sabine’s uncontrolled laughter broke it.

“YOU…” She said in between breaths “You… proposed…while… while… SHE WAS GIVING YOU A BLOWJOB?!” and now everyone was laughing. Even the store manager who, apparently, had been listening to the whole thing. Kanan wanted the ground to swallow him up, or a lighting to strike or really anything at this point.

Hera was doing her best to contain her laughter but some giggles slipped out. She gave him a sympathetic grin and said “Come on, luv. Let’s go home.”

#this is my attemp at comedy #star wars rebels #kanan jarrus #hera syndulla #ezra bridger #Sabine Wren #Garazeb Orrelios #Kanera #comedy #tourlouxx writes #i hope this is funny to someone #swr

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