#dude this is awesome i get to use windows media player.... this used to be my best friend.... i missed you media player...

[lycanwlf]

ripping my first cd, they call me the sandwich

[girlboss-molina]

Be Who You Are (No Compromise)

A Julie and the Phantoms Modern Royalty AU

Chapter 2: A Tale of Punches and Pancakes

AO3 Link

Words: 9389

-----

Alex POV

...

The jet ride was nice from a glance, but insufferable for Alex. His wish to leave his anxieties in Tambor? Yeah, he knew that was bullshit. As the miles passed, his stomach bubbled and knotted more and more until he had no room for the small wrapped chocolates in the dish at the back of the plane. The fluffy clouds seemed to taunt him with their serenity, making him feel out of place with his disgust, anxiety, and anger. 

Why, why, did he have to be put in an arranged goddamn marriage when he was nineteen? The gods hated him, for sure. 

He was back to considering options in his fake-your-death-to-get-out-of-it plan when Luke finally broke the silence.

“Dude, you okay?”

“Have a guess.” The sarcasm in his voice was tangible. 

“Yes?”

“Have another guess.” Alex barely smiled at Luke’s laugh. “I just… I hate this. Julie’s awesome, dude, she’s one of my best friends. But I don’t want to marry her.”

“I feel you,” Luke responded. “I really, really want to get you out of it.”

“Thanks.” Alex went back to staring at the clouds.

…

As the plane touched down, the rumbling shook up the nerves in Alex’s stomach, and he had to shut his eyes and focus on his breathing and the feeling of Luke’s hand on his. He did his best not to crease his vest as he leaned over, holding on tight. 

When he felt the motion in his ears stop, he carefully opened his eyes, relieved when he wasn’t nauseous. Of course, he couldn’t get rid of the anxiety. 

They’d landed in the runway behind the Dahlia palace, and thankfully, the small amount of vision he had out his plane window only showed the back of the palace and, on the other side, the tall, forested mountains in which he and Julie had run around in many times when they were younger. The scene was calming, and settled his nerves. 

As the doors opened, sending a crisp blast of cold Dahlian air in his face, the familiar smell of petrichor and honey reminded him of when he and Julie would run for hours, climbing trees as high as they could, despite Ray’s constant warnings and pleas for them to be careful. How simple it would be, really, to run out the plane door and across the runway until he was back, surrounded by the branches. It would be a nightmare, of course; he barely knew how to make a fire, which was definitely a skill he would need if he were to survive on his own in the cool Dahlian climate. Surely he could figure it out, though. It couldn’t be that hard. And the motivation of not having to act straight for the rest of his life would certainly help. He wondered just how fast he could run-

He was jolted back to reality by Luke excitedly hitting his shoulder. 

“Your highness, as your Royal Best Dude™ I am legally required to get you up and moving so that you don’t start spiraling. Plus, I’m hungry.” Alex rolled his eyes and laughed despite himself. 

He wasn’t going through this alone.  

…

He should’ve expected the cameras, really. But the bright flashes startled him as soon as he stepped out of the plane, and he had to quickly struggle to compose himself. He gave small smiles and respectful waves, walking across the long runway to the limousine waiting for him. He would be making a round past the palace gates before formally entering the palace from the front. So he climbed into the lush leather seats, with Erik and Luke right behind him, and sat down, squeezing his hands into fists and then running his fingertips over the indents from his nails. 

He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped together as he tapped his foot. He wouldn’t admit it, but the feeling of Luke’s and Erik’s hands on his shoulders helped. A lot. Tension melted away from him, and while he was still nervous, he somehow managed to stand and steadily walk out of the limo, a smile breaking out on his face as he saw Julie. 

Alex wasn’t sure why he was surprised at how beautiful Julie was, there really was no paralleling her beauty. And yet, his heart swelled with pride at seeing her elegant violet dress, embroidered with dahlias. 

“Alex, why the hell do you walk so fast?” asked Luke, breathing heavily and trying to keep up. 

“I’m gay. Next question.” 

“That’s fair.” 

As he ran to Julie, Alex was so caught up in the euphoria of seeing his friend in person that, for a moment, he lived in a world where the paparazzi wasn’t a thing. But he didn’t care. Julie saw him and ran through the gardens, a huge grin visible from hundreds of feet away. She ran to him, her gown flowing in the breeze, and as soon as they were within a few feet of each other, Julie jumped and Alex let out an “oof” as he caught her in a hug, spinning around and laughing.

“It’s so good to see you!” she exclaimed, and Alex nodded.

“Yeah, you too! Even though we, you know, FaceTimed last night.”

“Eh, details. Besides, the press wants a happy reunion.”

“Fair.”

“How was the plane ride?” 

“Amazing,” Alex said. “Nothing better than being on the edge of a panic attack while you’re thousands of feet in the air.”

“I’ll fight your anxiety,” Julie decided. “Tell it to meet me behind the Denny’s tonight.” Alex snorted. 

“I’d rather you didn’t punch my brain. I kinda need it.”

“Do you?” Alex gasped in mock offense.

“Okay, rudeness aside, I think this is the part where we walk around the garden and pretend we don’t know there are photojournalists hiding behind the bushes.” Julie nodded and took his arm.

As they strolled around the gardens, the aroma of flowers settled some of Alex’s nerves. He never turned around to make sure Luke was there, but he somehow knew. It was the Royal Best Dude™ telepathy, probably. And Erik was probably bringing his suitcase up to wherever he would be staying. So, Alex did his best to relax and hang out with his friend.

“Ava’s going to be ascending soon,” he noted. “She’s pumped. Though I’m not sure how good of an idea it is to let a twenty-three year old run a country.” Julie laughed.

“I’m happy for her! And I’m sure she’ll be fine. She knows how to party, for sure, but she’s also responsible. I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.”

“Yeah, I’ll let my anxiety know.” Julie burst out laughing, and Alex soon followed. 

“Her Royal Majesty, Queen Ava Mercer of Tambor,” Julie said. “It has a nice ring to it.” Alex nodded. 

“Yeah. I’m excited for her, too. All jokes aside, I think she’ll make a great queen.”

“Definitely.”

A few moments passed, including Julie gently picking a rose from the garden, one with a pale pink coloring, and sticking it behind Alex’s ear. When it wouldn’t stay, she scrunched her nose and carefully tucked it into the breast pocket of his vest. 

“You look absolutely dashing, your highness,” she said with a fake, posh accent. Alex giggled and rolled his eyes. 

“You’re a dork.”

“I know.” 

…

His room was really something. 

After he and Julie had finished their walk around the gardens, they’d given each other cordial bows (of course tied with a friendly wink, because they were just Like That), and Erik had shown him up to his quarters. Luke followed, and Alex noticed his cheeks were considerably red. 

It was chillier in Dahlia than it was in Tambor, though, and Luke had never been Plus, a breeze had flown in during the last ten minutes of their walk, on which Luke was shadowing. He was probably flushed from the cold air. 

He was down the hall from Julie’s room, in one of the guest rooms he’d used when playing hide-and-seek with Julie when they were kids. But it had been completely refurbished, since he would be staying there for a few months.

The soft carpet was a creamy tan, and the large, full-length mirrors let in sunlight that cast gentle shadows from the posters on the giant bed, which was adorned with blue sheets and pillows, with gold and pink accents. The dark, forest green walls gave the room a soothing effect, and the twinkling fairy lights were like fireflies in a meadow. A crystal chandelier hung in the middle of the ceiling, glittering with diamonds and gold. A mahogany record player sat on a media table, along with wireless chargers for his phone and laptop, next to the sliding door that led to a huge bathroom. The tiles were light tan and grey, peppered with flecks of quartz that shimmered in the light. A giant tub sat near a tinted window, as well as a vanity with a majestic painted mirror. The shower could’ve fit his entire bed.

Even though he wasn’t keen on marrying Julie, he wouldn’t dislike his stay here. 

“Dude,” Luke whispered. “Your room is awesome.” 

“I know, right? Definitely nicer than my room in Tambor.” 

As Alex went to his giant suitcase full of neatly folded clothes, beginning to tuck them into drawers and onto hangers, Luke helped out. 

“So,” Alex began, breaking the silence. “How are you liking Dahlia so far?”

“It’s great! Kinda cold, but I’ll get used to it. And… Julie seems really nice.”

Alex definitely didn’t miss Luke’s blush when he mentioned the princess, and his lips raised into a smirk.

“Yeah, she is. You should get to know her at dinner tonight.” Luke cleared his throat.

“Uh, yeah. Definitely.”

“You good?”

“Totally,” he insisted, though his voice rose an octave and Alex couldn’t suppress his laugh. 

“Sure.”

…

The dinner was incredible. Platters of roast beef sat next to giant bowls of mashed potatoes, and the bread appetizers were soft and delicious. And, even though he was legally allowed to have alcohol based on Dahlian laws, he thought better of it, instead filling his glass with water. He noticed that Julie did the same. 

“Not a fan of wine?” he asked. 

“Nah, not really. It always gives me a stomachache.” 

“Same.”

Alex went back to his food, before noticing a man around his age eyeing him. He had dark hair and was dressed in a red vest and dark grey shirt. He seemed quite kind, if the small smile on his face had any say.

“That’s your brother, Reggie, right? I think I’ve only met him once.”

Julie followed Alex’s gaze. “Oh yeah! You would get along great, I think.”

“Cool.”

…

Before dessert was brought up, everyone in the grand hall got to mingle for about twenty minutes and let their food settle. Alex let Julie introduce him to Reggie, with whom he immediately hit it off. 

“No way, you play the drums?” Reggie asked. “I’ve always wanted to learn, but I’m no good.”

“Yeah, I do! You said you play bass?”

“Yep!”

“That’s awesome, dude.”

Their conversation lasted a bit longer, and Alex felt confident that he and Reggie would be good friends, especially because of his lighthearted demeanor, and their bro-hug before Alex was pulled away to talk to another nobleman. 

He was bounced around like a ping-pong ball, being chatted up by guest after guest. Soon, though, he needed some air, so he searched to room for King Ray.

“Your majesty?” he asked, jogging over. Ray turned to him and gave a warm smile, shaking his hand.

“Hello, Alex. You can call me Ray. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, thanks. I was just wondering if I could sneak out the back for a moment? I need some air.” Ray laughed.

“Of course, son. I told them to give you some space,” he noted, guestering to the nobles, “but I doubt they were able to contain their excitement.” Alex nodded, grateful for Ray’s chill vibes. “Try to be back in ten minutes?”

“Of course.”

Ray nodded and patted his shoulder, and Alex stepped through the back door of the grand hall, grateful when he didn’t see anyone. He took a deep breath, fiddling with the hem of his vest. 

A voice caught his ear. 

“-yeah, don’t worry, Alyssa. The mousse is in the refrigerator-” 

Alex whirled around, searching for whoever had spoken, but before he could…

WHAM. 

A cold rush of air blew from behind him as a door opened, and someone ran into him.

Hard.

Alex stumbled forward, trying to catch himself but to no avail. His momentum swung him forward, leaving him on the ground. 

“Whoa!” he started, looking at the person who’d ran him over, and…

Oh fuck, he thought. He’s hot. 

“Agh, sorry, I really need to watch where I’m-” the man cut off, his cheeks flushing. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, your highness.” He scrambled into a bow, and Alex blushed. 

“No, you’re good, bro.” 

Alex got a good look at him, and felt his cheeks flush. He had long, silky brown hair that fell over his shoulders in waves, and smooth brown skin that had darkened in a blush. His dark eyes were kind and playful, adorned with long eyelashes. 

Alex inhaled slowly, trying to ignore the rising gay panic. 

“Are you okay?” the man asked. 

“I’m fine, yeah. Thanks. Just trying to clear my head. Until you, you know, tried to crack it open.” To Alex’s surprise, the man giggled, and holy fuck, if he wasn’t already adorable, that would’ve been the tipping point. Creases folded at the corners of his eyes, and his perfect smile turned lopsided as he laughed. 

“I did pancake you, huh?” Alex tried to laugh, and the man cleared his throat. “Sorry. Oh, uh, I’m Willie. It’s nice to meet you.”

Alex reached for his hand. “Alex,” he greeted, still hoping his face wasn’t as red as it felt. 

“Well, I’d better make sure we’re clear to bring up dessert. But I’ll see you around, your royal pancakeness,” Willie said with a grin, spinning on his heel and going back to the kitchens. Alex nodded, even though he was already gone. 

-----

Julie POV

...

As soon as Alex’s plane touched down, Julie couldn’t hide her excitement. She rushed through her photos, and as soon as she could see him, she took off running, a huge grin on her face. The silky fabric of her dress flapped against her shins, and she sprinted even faster, ignoring the goosebumps on her arms. 

As soon as she reached him, she jumped into the hug, laughing as he spun her around. They might have FaceTimed the day before, but it just wasn’t the same as seeing him in person. He was one of her best friends, and the fact that they hadn’t seen each other in so long was frankly biphobic. 

But as she spun around, finally opening her eyes, Julie caught sight of Alex’s guard. She’d never formally met him, and she’d always thought he was cute, but wow. 

He had deep hazel eyes and pale skin, cheeks flushed from the cold, his wavy brown hair neatly styled, with a touch of personal flair. His chiseled jawline cast a shadow on his neck, and his biceps were visible through his dark jacket. Julie tried to look away and focus on her friend, because now was the literal worst time to develop a crush on someone she barely knew. 

Not that she had a crush on him, or anything. 

Julie forced those thoughts out of her head, and scolded her stupid heart for fluttering when she caught his gaze. She turned back to Alex, laughing when he insinuated that photojournalists would be hiding behind the bushes. 

“Ava’s going to be ascending soon,” Alex told her. “She’s pumped. Though I’m not sure how good of an idea it is to let a twenty-three year old run a country.” Julie laughed, silently agreeing.

“I’m happy for her! And I’m sure she’ll be fine. She knows how to party, for sure, but she’s also responsible. I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.”

“Yeah, I’ll let my anxiety know.” Julie burst out laughing, soon followed by Alex.

“Her Royal Majesty, Queen Ava Mercer of Tambor,” she said, letting the words flow off her tongue. “It has a nice ring to it.” 

“Yeah. I’m excited for her, too. All jokes aside, I think she’ll make a great queen.”

“Definitely.” There wasn’t a doubt in her voice, either. 

Julie had met Ava when she was eight. Ava had been thirteen, and was the coolest thirteen-year-old ever, in little Julie’s opinion. She vaguely remembered hanging out in her room with her, and thinking she was just the coolest ever. Then again, she was an eight year old. To an eight year old, all thirteen-year-olds are cool (or gross, but we don’t talk about that).

Julie walked with Alex, chatting about random things, including plans to get out of the arranged marriage, each more complicated than the next. Julie couldn’t stop herself from laughing when Alex brought up his temptation to just run into the woods with no supplies or survival skills, and just be a gay forest cryptid. She was quite fond of it, to be honest. 

Unfortunately, they didn’t have any plans that didn’t involve either faking their deaths, or something treasonous, neither of which would be good. At least, not in anyone else’s opinions. 

…

After Alex went up to his room, Julie did the same, and immediately flopped on her bed, finally allowing herself to process her thoughts about, well, everything.

God, she wanted out of this marriage. She knew Alex did as well. They’d talked about it endlessly over FaceTime, texting, and just now, in person. But neither of them could come up with an actual plan or a good enough reason to halt it. Because, you know, the people actually getting married never get a say. 

Plus, it did not help that Alex’s guard, who she’d learned was named Luke, was really cute. She furrowed her brow. She’d never even had a real conversation with the guy. Not that it mattered, of course. She remembered when she was fifteen and had already decided that Nick Danforth-Evans was a sweetheart, even though she’d only had one real conversation with him. 

But this felt different somehow. She couldn’t help but feel like Luke was actually really nice. She just got those vibes from him. She cursed her stupid heart for making her feel things. No, Molina. There’s no such thing as liking a cute guard. 

It didn’t work. 

She stared at her ceiling, watching flecks of dust float around the air, and jumped when Flynn and Carrie walked into her room without knocking. It wasn’t like she actually expected them to knock, but she’d zoned out and the sudden sound took her by surprise. 

“I know that look,” Flynn said matter-of-factly. “What’s the crisis about?”

“What isn’t it about?”

“Uh uh, don’t try to deflect by answering my question with another question,” Flynn scolded, and Carrie bit back a laugh. 

“I just…” she searched for an excuse. “I love that Alex is here, but I don’t want to marry him,” she said, remembering that the best lies were based on the truth. “And he’s gay, so I know for a fact he doesn’t want to marry me. Plus, you know. We’ve expressed that multiple times. And I know there’s really nothing I can do about it, because it’s all arranged, and bitching about it does nothing to help, but honestly? I’m just feeling bitchy.” 

“As you should,” Carrie agreed, to Julie’s surprise. “If anyone deserves to be a little bitchy, it’s you. I mean, come on. You’re a teenage girl who never actually got a normal life because you’re frickin’ Princess Julie Molina, heiress to the throne of Dahlia. And you’re stuck in an arranged marriage with one of your best friends, and neither of you want it, but you can’t actually change it. I’d be bitchy too.”

“Thank you for summing that up,” Julie deadpanned. “But… it helps. Thanks.”

“That’s what I’m here for.”

“She’s right, Jules,” Flynn agreed. “Be the bitchy bisexual you deserve to be.” That elicited a laugh, and Julie couldn’t help but leave the smile resting on her face. 

“Alright,” she decided. “We have self-defense in half an hour, so we should get ready.” Flynn nodded and pulled Julie off of her bed, leading her to the giant walk-in closet, searching the hundreds of options, but steering clear from the gowns. 

Flynn and Carrie must’ve known she needed cheering up, because they sarcastically suggested the biggest, poofiest gowns Julie owned, tied with a tight shawl and the wobbliest heels imaginable. Julie laughed despite herself, especially since she could barely walk in the shoes they’d picked. She was also taller than six feet, which was a plus, but she would pick stability over height any day, especially when she was going to practice kicking people’s asses. 

Eventually, she settled on flexible black leggings with a purple stripe going down the outside of each leg, and a simple white tunic that starkly contrasted her dark skin. It was fitted but she could move easily in it, stretching into a backbend to make sure. 

She sighed and allowed Flynn and Carrie to take either arm and lead her downstairs to the training arena. 

…

The training arena was a huge room, the floors completely covered in mats, aside from the giant gymnastic trampolines at the far corner and the running track that traversed the perimeter. On the far side opposite the trampolines were sets of weights and treadmills, as well as other equipment like bars and benches. Punching bags were hung sporadically around the martial arts area, which was also used for tumbling and floor routines. 

Lady Athena gave a smile as they walked in, soon followed by Reggie and Mira. Lady Athena was a tall, muscular woman with silky black hair that was always in a high ponytail. Her bronze skin glittered with sweat, and her two-piece athleisure outfit left her chiseled abs on display. 

“Alright,” she said, clapping her hands. “Reggie, since you’re bigger, you’re with me. You four, pair up and practice your hand-to-hand skills. Remember the blocks we learned last week.” Julie nodded and paired with Flynn, immediately getting into position.

“Head’s up,” she warned with a smirk, before lunging with a punch that would’ve hit Flynn square in the chest if not for her catlike reflexes. She knocked Julie’s hand out of the way, and Julie had to twist to avoid Flynn’s counterattack, letting herself lean backwards. But when she almost fell, she used it to her advantage, hopping backwards onto one hand and spinning, tripping Flynn by kicking her feet out from under her. Before Flynn could recover, Julie pounced over her, grabbing her shirt collar and pulling her fist back, ready to attack. She didn’t follow through, obviously, but she knew she had good form. 

“Well done, your highness,” praised Lady Athena. Julie blushed.

“Thanks.”

“Whatever,” Flynn grumbled, and Julie laughed. “Rematch?”

“You’re on.”

…

Julie had defeated Flynn four times to two, and was feeling very confident. It must’ve helped, exercising, because her worries about Alex and Luke were far away as she battled Carrie and then Mira. Or, they were until a certain brunette guard walked in the room in a sleeveless shirt and shorts that showed off his muscles. 

She shouldn’t have let herself get distracted, though, because in her haze, Mira managed to throw her off balance and win their round. 

“Hah! That’s two each!” She outstretched her hand, which Julie gratefully accepted, pulling her up. 

“Good job,” she said, still distracted but keeping her eyes far away from Luke. 

“Hi, is this the self-defense lesson?” Luke asked, and Julie could no longer ignore him. 

“It is,” Lady Athena confirmed. “You’re Prince Alexander’s guard, correct?”

“And certified Royal Best Dude™,” he added with a grin that was so adorable it made Julie flush. By some miracle, nobody noticed. 

“Alright, why don’t you train with Reggie? He can show you what we’re working on. I need to go make sure nobody’s going to throw out their back at the weights.” With that, Lady Athena stalked off, her ponytail swaying behind her. 

Luke walked over to Reggie, and Julie did her best not to stare as Reggie guided Luke, and they began sparring. Luke was surprisingly agile, but he was too enthusiastic, reaching for every possible blow, not realizing where he left himself vulnerable. But his puppy eyes when Reggie defeated him were too cute. 

Julie cleared her throat and turned away. 

“Tiebreaker?” Mira nodded, and they went to sparring. Julie ducked and dodged every hit of Mira’s, even getting in a few herself, but she was thrown off when she heard Luke laugh, a musical, joyful sound, and Mira took advantage of her momentary slip, finally beating her. 

“Yes!” Mira jumped and pumped her fist, then helped Julie up. 

“Nice job!” Julie grinned with the words, high-fiving Mira. 

“Alright, break time.”

Julie walked to the edge of the wall where she’d left her water bottle and towel, almost choking on her water when she heard Luke’s voice behind her. 

“Your highness?” he asked shyly. “I don’t believe we’ve formally met.” Julie smiled and outstretched her hand, shaking Luke’s. “I’m Alex’s guard, Luke.”

“Hi! You can call me Julie,” she said with a smile, hoping her cheeks weren’t as red as they felt. “Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, you too! Oh, by the way, great job during your fights. I saw your takedown on the other girl, the one with the braids.”

“Oh, that’s Flynn.”

“Cool. But yeah, I saw your fight, and that was really impressive. I doubt I could spin on one hand like you did.” 

Well.

If Julie hadn’t been blushing before, she certainly was now. At least Luke’s cheeks were only red because of the intense workouts. 

“It took me forever to get that move right,” she admitted. “I only just got it down, if I’m being honest. I still slip up sometimes, too.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” he complimented. And oh, his smile really was a beautiful thing. 

“Alright, break time’s over,” called Lady Athena. “No more flirting.” Julie’s stomach dropped, and she inhaled, a denial already on her tongue, before she realized that her coach was looking at Flynn and Carrie, who were chatting animatedly, both blushing. 

She practiced a bit more with Carrie, doing her best to ignore the boy next to her. When the class finally ended, she hurriedly thanked Lady Athena before rushing up to shower.

Letting the hot water wash over her, she pondered how the hell Luke had wiggled his way into her heart so quickly within one conversation. 

Was she being brainwashed into liking a guy she barely knew?

Was this some elaborate trick that whatever higher being existed had orchestrated as a ploy to get her out of the arranged marriage?

… And more importantly, would it work? 

The thought made her laugh. Not that she didn’t slightly believe this was all some sort of elaborate trick to get her to commit treason and fall in love with someone she wasn’t supposed to, but it was funny nonetheless.

…

After she’d done her best to set the record for hottest, soapiest shower possible, Julie wrapped herself in a towel, massaging peach lotion into her skin, the scent matching her shampoo. As she rubbed it into her hands, she imagined what it would feel like holding Luke’s hand, before quickly banishing the thought away to the depths of simpy hell.

This was worse than she thought. 

She changed into her evening gown for the dinner, allowing Mira to lace up the back. It was all navy blue, a long strapless dress that reached her ankles, with a see-through tulle layer over top that went up to a sleeveless halter neckline, leaving the rest of the tulle layer to flow down neatly over the rest of the silky dress, which tightened at the waist. Tiny diamonds had been sewn into the tulle at her waist, high in concentration before gently tapering off the lower in the skirt they went.

“Okay,” Carrie said, walking in with Flynn beside her. “I think I speak for everyone when I say, damn. That dress is fine.” Flynn nodded enthusiastically. 

“I know, right?” Mira said excitedly. “I actually helped tailor this one! It was one of my favorites to make.”

“And for a good reason,” Julie agreed. “Mira, you’ve outdone yourself.”

“Not quite,” she said, turning Julie towards the vanity. “I’m thinking we do something simple but elegant for your hair?”

“I vote for that,” Flynn interjected. 

“Sure!”

Mira set to work, combing through Julie’s hair with her fingers. Julie closed her eyes. She’d always loved the feeling of people playing with her hair, and as Mira wove her dark locks into two thick braids that soon joined together, letting the rest of her hair poof at the base of her neck, Julie was transported back to her mother’s room when she was five. She remembered the feeling of her mother braiding her hair like it was yesterday, the gentle tugs and nimble fingers on her scalp. It wasn’t the same with Mira, of course, but it was refreshing and comforting at the same time. 

“Hey, Jules?” Flynn called from her closet.

“Mm?”

“Mind if I steal that asymmetrical dress for tonight? The jade one,” she clarified. 

“Feel free!”

The dress in mind was a slim-fitting jade green dress that reached her knees, but the hem was cut asymmetrically, leaving one side longer than the other. It had golden ribbon-like threads spun around it with no particular rhyme or reason, and a built-in sash made of pale, spring green tulle roses. The thin straps showed off her shoulders, and when Flynn walked out with it on, Julie noticed Carrie blush.

“Dude, you look awesome,” Julie complimented. Flynn twirled, letting the light play off of the shimmery fabric.

“Thanks!”

Mira finished doing Julie’s hair, and held up a mirror for her to see. Julie admired the thick, smooth braids that gently rejoined at the base of her neck, letting the rest of her dark curls loose in an elegant fashion.

“It’s amazing, Mira! Thank you so much.”

“Of course! And thank you for letting me do it,” she said with a giggle. “Your hair is so fun to style.” Julie blushed. 

…

The dinner was rather uneventful, thankfully. Julie wasn’t sure if she would’ve had the energy to constantly be answering questions. Instead, though, she got to introduce people to each other, and relax and eat, and try to keep her eyes away from a certain hazel-eyed guard.

She was grateful for the relatively simple task.

-----

Luke POV

...

Luke had heard about the self-defense classes in the training arena, and he was itching to get moving, so he changed into workout clothes and headed down there. 

The spiral staircase was wide and glittered with colored glass, the silver banisters gleaming in the light. He trailed his hand down it as he made his way down.

When he reached the training arena, he closed the door behind him and went to set down his water bottle and towel- but not before noticing Julie.

At the self-defense class.

Thankfully, she didn’t see him. He hung back for a moment, watching as she sparred with another girl with long braids. The way she moved was incredible, like water flowing in a current, unpredictable and smooth. Of course, if anyone asked, he was most certainly not admiring it. He could silently appreciate her skills, though.

As she dodged hit after hit, throwing her own blocks and blows, it looked like the girl with braids had gotten the better of her, but as Julie leaned backwards, she hopped and - holy fuck - caught herself on one hand, spinning around in the air like some sort of ethereal breakdancer, and knocking the other girl’s feet out from under her, before pouncing, grabbing her shirt collar, and pulling back her fist, before freezing and laughing. 

Whoa. 

So not only was she a wicked beauty, Luke realized, she was a human wrecking ball, too. 

He cleared his throat, tearing his eyes away from the beautiful badass in front of him, tuning out Lady Athena’s praise in favor of clearing his head before approaching to join. Not that it worked. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of Julie. The other three girls (and the guy, if he was being honest) were all stunningly fit and agile, but there was something about Julie that enchanted him. The way she was always smiling even in the middle of a training fight, how, even when she was defeated, she brushed it off with a laugh, how she was light on her feet like a cat as she dodged and spun, how she was needlessly extravagant with her self-defense and yet somehow always made it work. Maybe that’s just what princesses were like; even when defending themselves against possible attackers, they had to be as beautiful as ever. 

Of course, right now, Luke knew she didn’t look how she normally would, in her silky gowns and expertly styled hair. Now, she wore matching athletic clothes and had her hair pulled back into a ponytail, with some strands coming out in a sweaty frizz. And yet, that somehow just made her even more breathtaking. Even when she was sweaty and working out, she managed to look like an angel.

An angel who could easily kick his ass, he remembered as she pulled the upside-down-one-handed-breakdancer move again, this time on a redheaded girl he didn’t recognize. 

Before he could stop himself, he approached Lady Athena. 

“Hi, is this the self-defense lesson?” He asked the woman.  

“It is,” Lady Athena confirmed, and he nodded.. “You’re Prince Alexander’s guard, correct?”

“And certified Royal Best Dude™,” he added with a grin. He would never let go of that title.

“Alright, why don’t you train with Reggie? He can show you what we’re working on. I need to go make sure nobody’s going to throw out their back at the weights.” Luke nodded again as Lady Athena walked away.

He walked over to Reggie, shaking his hand.

“Hey, I’m Luke,” he introduced with a smile. Reggie shot one back.

“Reggie!”

“Nice to meet you! So, do we just… fight? I’m not sure how this is run here compared to in Tambor.” Reggie laughed. 

“Yeah, pretty much. You good at hand-to-hand?”

“I’m not bad,” he admitted. “But I’m no expert.” He couldn’t help looking at Julie. “Is she always that much of a badass?” Reggie followed his eyes to Julie. 

“Pretty much,” he said with a laugh, and Luke dearly hoped he wasn’t blushing.

“Good to know. In that case, if I introduce myself to her, how scared should I be?” He asked it with a smile and a joking tone, but he was actually a bit nervous. But, you know, just because he now knew that she could kick his ass seven ways to Sunday.

No other reason.

“Oh, don’t worry!” Reggie assured him. “She’s actually really nice. I’ve known her since she was eight,” he explained. Luke nodded, grateful for the reassurance.

“Alrighty then,” he said, hopping into a fighting stance. “Let’s get cracking.” 

…

By “let’s get cracking,” he was hoping he wouldn’t be cracking his ego, but he was sorely mistaken. Reggie didn’t seem like it, but he was really strong, and really good at fighting. Luke was more agile than him, and strength-wise he could compare, but the Dahlian style of fighting was so different from the Tamborian style. They were similar in many ways, of course; they had the same moves and strategies. But the ways they moved were so different, the ways they executed their moves had an uncanny grace and deadliness.

He did his best, reaching for every blow he could, trying to get the upper hand. And, to his credit, he won a few rounds. But he accidentally left himself vulnerable most of the time, leaving perfect opportunities for his opponent to strike, because Of Course He Did. 

When they called for a break, Luke wiped his forehead with a towel, grabbing a drink of water. Then, he swallowed the lump in his throat and approached Julie.

“Your highness?” he asked shyly. “I don’t believe we’ve formally met.” Luke tried not to blush when she smiled and shook his hand. “I’m Alex’s guard, Luke.”

“Hi! You can call me Julie,” she said with a gorgeous grin, and Luke knew he was a goner. “Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, you too! Oh, by the way, great job during your fights. I saw your takedown on the other girl, the one with the braids.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, and he mentally kicked himself. Not smooth, Patterson. What if she thought he was creepy? 

Thankfully, though, she smiled.

“Oh, that’s Flynn!”

“Cool,” he said, relieved. Nice and smooth, Patterson. “But yeah, I saw your fight, and that was really impressive. I doubt I could spin on one hand like you did.” He reached up and scratched the back of his neck nervously, and he couldn’t help but feel accomplished when Julie’s cheeks flushed. Of course, his were probably just as red, but hopefully he could blame it on the workout.

“It took me forever to get that move right,” she admitted. “I only just got it down, if I’m being honest. I still slip up sometimes, too.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” he complimented with a smile. And it wasn’t a lie, either. 

“Alright, break time’s over,” called Lady Athena. “No more flirting.” Luke cleared his throat, getting ready to insist that he wasn’t flirting, before he realized that Lady Athen was looking at Flynn and another redheaded girl, who were chatting animatedly, both blushing. He sighed in relief. 

As he went back to sparring with Reggie, zoned out but fighting just as well as he was before, maybe even better, he pondered Julie’s abilities. How did she manage to be so beautiful, so graceful, and yet so kind and badass? It shouldn’t have been possible for any one human to do that all, much less a teenage girl who was already juggling the responsibilities of being a princess. 

Julie was, Luke realized, even more incredible than he’d ever thought possible.

…

All throughout the dinner, he was trying not to stare at Julie. Her dress was absolutely gorgeous, and the way she flitted around the room like a butterfly was absolutely ethereal. Tie that with the diamonds sewn into her navy blue dress that looked like fading stars and twinkled in the light, and she looked like she was wrapped in starlight. He knew it was appropriate for that star of a woman, but still, he thought it should’ve been illegal for anyone to have that effect on him. 

His cheeks were red, and he stared at his plate, inhaling the scent of roast beef and mashed potatoes, along with the aroma of warm bread from his appetizer. 

Even with the cool air of Dahlia and his thin shirt and suit vest, he was still sweating. He was absolutely gone for a girl he’d only had one conversation with, a girl he’d only known for a maximum of five hours. 

A girl who his best friend was being forced to marry. 

That was the worst part of all of this. His best friend, who would never be in love with Julie no matter how good of friends they were, had to marry her because of goddamn international relations, and there was nothing he could do about it. And, a selfish part of him thought, it means you never had a chance. He shoved the thoughts out of his head, hating the lingering ache they left in his heart. 

Not that he would’ve ever had a chance anyway. She was a beautiful, badass princess, and he was just a guard she didn’t even know. 

-----

Reggie POV

...

As soon as the plane landed on the runway behind the palace, Reggie smiled at Julie, letting go of her hand as she readied herself.

He understood her worry. No matter how close you are with someone, being set to marry them - especially when you didn’t want to - was daunting. Of course, he’d never been through the same thing, but he was always an empathetic person, and he could practically feel his own sister’s worry and ache.

He saw Prince Alexander walking to the gardens, and smiled when Julie broke into a grin, running to him. He twirled rose petals between his fingers, letting out a small laugh when she jumped into Alex’s arms. He didn’t want to seem like a helicopter brother, though, so he went back inside, leaving Jules with Prince Alexander. 

When he stepped inside, he nearly ran into Ray.

“Whoa, sorry!” Ray laughed. 

“You’re perfectly fine, mijo. Everything okay?” Reggie sighed.

“I’m just worried for Julie. I’ve never really gotten to know Prince Alexander, and-”

“I’ll stop you there,” Ray said. “Believe me, I know what you mean, and if I could stop it without huge consequences, I would. But Alex isn’t someone you need to worry about. That boy is one of the sweetest, kindest people I’ve ever met,” he assured him. “And while I know neither of them want to get married, I know that they’re both mature, and good friends.”

“Thanks,” Reggie sighed. “I just wish I could get her out of it, you know? I mean, that’s my little sister.”

“I understand,” the king agreed. “But unfortunately, there isn’t anything to be done other than let Alex settle in.” Reggie nodded glumly. “Hey, wasn’t there a progression you wanted to show me? On your bass?” Ray clarified. Reggie immediately lit up. 

“Yeah! Julie and I have been working on a song called Icarus, and she’s got a killer piano melody worked out. I went off of some of her chords and found a super cool progression on my bass that adds a really nice line underneath hers, and it sounds-” he did the chef’s kiss thing with his hand- “divine.”

“Alright, well now I’ve gotta see it!” Reggie’s grin lit up even more and he ran to his room, followed by Ray, who was jogging behind him. 

Reggie’s room was huge, the walls painted dark blue. He’d always found the color soothing. He snatched his red and white bass guitar from its stand, spinning on his heel as he ducked under the strap, letting it settle by his waist. 

When Ray met him there, Reggie grinned, plucking the strings animatedly until he remembered the notes. He didn’t bother grabbing his phone to try and find them from wherever he’d written them down in the endless scrolling of his notes app. Soon, though, his chaotic ADHD brain remembered, and he began excitedly plucking specific notes in a rhythmic pattern, his fingers stretching to reach each fret as he hopped from the E string to A, then G back to E and D. He smiled even brighter when he saw Ray grinning and tapping his foot to the beat.

“So, it kinda just goes like that, until we get to the chorus. Then, I come in with a little…” he slid his finger down the string, letting the note slide down before he hopped back into the rhythm, the same notes as before, but ordered differently, giving a new feel to the music. 

He hopped around, spinning as he played his bass, humming the lyrics under his breath.

“That sounds super cool, mijo!” Ray exclaimed, one eyebrow furrowed, as was custom for him whenever he was excited. Reggie hopped up and down happily, fixing the cuff of one of his sleeves. 

“Thanks! Julie and I are gonna try to record it. I’m trying to learn how to play the drums, to add a steady beat, but I can’t seem to figure it out.”

“I’m sure you’ll get it soon.” Reggie beamed. “I’m so sorry, mijo, I have to go. I’d love to hear more later or tomorrow, though!”

“Okay,” Reggie said. “Bye!” He continued playing marking down cool progressions he found, and just hopping around to get out his wiggles. 

…

At the self-defense class, he sparred with Lady Athena. Sometimes he would spar with Julie or Flynn, but even though she was no doubt better at fighting, he was also bigger, and she was paired with Flynn. 

Lady Athena was amazing at fighting, and Reggie got his ass kicked most of the time, but he was able to win a couple rounds, which he was quite proud of. Lady Athena complimented his form, and he had no doubt that he would be gathering serotonin from that compliment for weeks. Even then, though, he got plenty from seeing his badass little sister master her insane breakdance-style move, with which she completely demolished Flynn in a few seconds. His chest swelled with pride when she won.

Soon, though, a man named Luke entered the studio, and Reggie definitely didn’t miss Julie’s blush when she looked at him. She might’ve been supposed to marry Alex, but it wasn’t like either of them wanted it. Plus, he was always down for a little treason, especially if it was with Julie. 

Lady Athena paired Luke with Reggie, perfect timing for her to go check on some of the other people in the arena. 

“Hey, I’m Luke,” the man introduced with a smile. Reggie gave his trademark grin.

“Reggie!” He outstretched his hand, and Luke shook it. 

“Nice to meet you! So, do we just… fight?” Luke asked. “I’m not sure how this is run here compared to in Tambor.” Reggie laughed. He’d never sparred with anyone from Tambor before, so this would be fun.

“Yeah, pretty much.” He ran a hand through his hair. “You good at hand-to-hand?”

“I’m not bad, but I’m no expert.” Reggie followed his gaze as it shifted over to Julie. “Is she always that much of a badass?” He asked, clearly in awe.

“Pretty much,” Reggie replied with a laugh, grinning at Luke’s blush.

Simp.

“Good to know. In that case, if I introduce myself to her, how scared should I be?” Luke was fiddling with the hem of his shirt by that point. 

“Oh, don’t worry!” Reggie assured him. “She’s actually really nice. I’ve known her since she was eight,” he explained.

“Alrighty then,” he said, hopping into a fighting stance. “Let’s get cracking.” Reggie grinned and reciprocated, taking the first strike. 

The first thing he learned was that Luke was very opportunistic in his fighting style. He went for nearly every possible blow, even if it meant leaving himself vulnerable. Reggie, of course, took advantage of this. He had to make sure his new friend (and sister’s possible future treasonous boyfriend) knew he could protect people. 

Luke pouted, and Reggie couldn’t help but admit that he had adorable puppy eyes. 

He helped him up, laughing. A few more sparring rounds passed, and Luke turned out to be quite adaptable. He found ways to get past Reggie’s blocks, and even put some up himself. Soon, they were evenly matched, and Reggie was impressed. Although, he soon found that he could get in another blow by telling a horrible joke, then striking when Luke laughed.

He thought it was pretty genius.

…

The dinner was rather uneventful. He did, however, get to meet Prince Alexander, which he was very happy about - even more so now that he was confident in Ray’s assurance that he was a good person. They’d chatted about politics and whatnot, before both admitting that they were bored. Somehow, the conversation strayed to music.

“No way, you play the drums?” Reggie asked excitedly. “I’ve always wanted to learn, but I’m no good.”

“Yeah, I do! You said you play bass?”

“Yep!” He beamed, making a mental note to ask if he wanted to see, sometime later.

“That’s awesome, dude.”

“Thanks!” 

They talked for a little while longer, before Alex was pulled away to talk to some other Dahlian nobleman whose name Reggie kept forgetting. Plus, Alex seemed tired; unsurprising, given the long day he must’ve had. 

Reggie eventually settled down and ran through his thoughts.

He knew he couldn’t protect Julie, not like he wanted to. Plus, she didn’t need protecting, he’d come to realize after Luke’s “badass” comment at the training arena. Julie Molina wasn’t just a badass in self-defense, she was also a badass in every other sense of the word. She was a teenage girl, the heiress to the Dahlian throne, juggling her academic lessons and royal lessons, along with making time for her friends, free time, and she managed to (usually) get enough sleep. She was a complete badass who didn’t need protecting. 

She needed support, instead. That was something Reggie could do. He could be by her side every step of the way, no matter how hard it got. He was her brother, and he loved her more than life itself, loved every crooked smile, every curl of hair, every eye roll after one of his famously bad jokes. She didn’t deserve any of this, but by God, he’d do his best to make it bearable for her. 

-----

Willie POV

...

After lunch, the burn on Willie’s hand had calmed. Rather than the angry red mark it was earlier, it had shrunk into an annoyed red streak. Still a nuisance, but he didn’t really care.

As Willie whipped the mousse, his mind strayed to Prince Alexander. 

What was he like? Was he as cute in person as he was in photos? Probably, Willie decided. Photos never fully captured someone’s beauty unless they knew what they were looking for, and that was always more of an emotion. Photojournalists aimed for lighting and composition. There were always emotion in the photos, yes, but they never actually got to see the people in the photo. 

He wondered if he would get to meet him. Would it go well? Would he like the bread he’d so carefully baked? Would he enjoy the mousse cake he was whipping up right now? All of these questions whirled around in Willie’s brain as he whipped the mousse, letting it become airy and fluffy. Sprinkles of cocoa powder dusted the counter next to his mixing bowl, but it was fine. It would all get wiped up later. 

He grabbed a tub of fine cinnamon, sprinkling in a pinch for a little bit of kick. It was barely noticeable, but it gave the mousse an extra depth that it normally would’ve lacked. He’d never told anyone his secret, despite prying from Lilian. 

Sprinkling in a tiny bit more to account for the large batch, his thoughts wandered again.

How was Princess Julie dealing with all of this? Willie had never had a real conversation with her, but she seemed to be very well put-together. She managed everything so well, at least from the outside. Though he knew better than anyone that, no matter how organized someone may seem, there’s always a storm underneath. 

Willie finished up, putting plastic wrap over the mousse and sticking it in the giant refrigerator, before taking off his apron, washing his hands, and heading for the door.

“Willie?” Called Alyssa from behind him. He turned around, walking backwards. 

“Yeah? I’m just going on break.”

“Did you finish making the mousse?”

“Yeah, don’t worry, Alyssa,” he said, walking out the door. The mousse is in the refrigerator-” 

WHAM. 

Willie let out a slight “oof” as he ran into the person in the hallway.

He stumbled, catching himself before he fell, though not as gracefully as he would’ve liked. He’d fared better than the other person, though. 

“Whoa!” The man said.

“Agh, sorry, I really need to watch where I’m-” Willie cut himself off, his cheeks flushing as he realized he’d just ran into Prince Alexander.

Well, so much for making a good impression.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, your highness.” He scrambled into a bow, and blushed. 

“No, you’re good, bro.” Willie was taken aback by the casual response, but he wasn’t complaining. 

Willie finally got a good look at him, and wasn’t at all surprised when he found that he was even more stunning in person.Of course, it made it a whole lot harder to hide his gay panic.

He had blonde hair that was expertly styled, and a crisp, blue suit vest with minimalistic gold embroidery that brought out flecks of blue in his eyes and highlights in his hair. His muscles were defined and visible through the sleeves of his white dress shirt, and even when he was frazzled after just having been knocked over, he still looked as handsome as ever.

“Are you okay?” Willie asked, concerned. 

“I’m fine, yeah. Thanks. Just trying to clear my head. Until you, you know, tried to crack it open.” Willie couldn’t help himself from laughing, and dearly hoped it wasn’t the wrong move. But the prince had a small smile on his face and pink dusting his cheeks, so he had a feeling it was okay.

“I did pancake you, huh?” He tried to laugh, and Willie nervously cleared his throat. “Sorry. Oh, uh, I’m Willie. It’s nice to meet you.”

Willie outstretched his hand, delighted when the other man shook it. “Alex,” he greeted, still blushing a little bit, which could be chalked up to the embarrassment of being plowed over. Willie was worried things would get awkward soon, so he searched for an excuse, hating that he had to leave.

“Well, I’d better make sure we’re clear to bring up dessert,” he said. “But I’ll see you around, your royal pancakeness,” Willie added with a grin, spinning on his heel and going back to the kitchens, hoping Alex hadn’t noticed his internal gay panic.

…

“Well, that was a quick break,” Alyssa pointed out.

“Yeah, I guess it was,” Willie agreed, not fully listening. 

He’d fucking pancaked the prince. Prince Alexander Mercer of Tambor. And Willie, despite his constant hoping for a good impression, ran him over because he wasn’t even watching where he was going. 

How the hell was he such a mess? And even more, how would he ever be accepted by literal royalty who was way too cute to even exist? 

Willie shook his head, letting his hair fall over his shoulders, ignoring the feeling of Alyssa’s eyes on him as he walked into the giant refrigerated room, grabbing the huge bowl of chocolate mousse and scooping it into a piping bag, grabbing some of the chilled cakes.

His hands were steady and meticulous as he gently piped the mousse onto the cakes, making a thick layer on top of each, then lifting into a swirl that peaked in the center, adorning each cake with a bit of wafer and chocolate. He set each one on a tray, waiting for Alyssa to pick it up. Plating was her specialty, because according to Lilian, any time Willie did plating, it ended up “chaotic” and “messy” and “unorthodox.” Personally, he thought it was cool. But, not everyone could have taste, he supposed. 

…

Later that night, as he wandered into his small room in the chefs’ quarters, laying down on the soft bed, his mind wandered to Alex. Despite constantly being on the news, he was a mystery, an enigma, a puzzle Willie had the urge to solve. What were his interests? His desires? His hopes, his dreams? 

Of course, he would never be able to act on his feelings about the prince, how adorably awkward he was, how gorgeous he was in any outfit, no matter the style, how even in one simple conversation, Willie had become so enamoured that he wanted to know everything about him. Not in a creepy way, of course, but in the way one wishes to know someone they’ve just met, who intrigues them to no end. 

That night, his dreams were haunted by a familiar face, a shy smile, and a piercing set of bluish eyes.

[astargatelover]

Watching The da Vinci Code for the first time - A documentation

-  About to watch The da Vinci Code for the first time. It’s about 3AM. Back of the DVD says the movie’s almost 2h30 long. Will approximately be going to bed at about 6AM. I gotta be crazy.

- Back of the DVD also says (translated from German): In the middle of the night the (…) is (…) Langdon (TOM HANKS) in the (…) director was murdered. His (?) (…) that of the Vitruvian Man (…) is the first horrible clue (…) and symbols. At the risk of his life (something something) Langdon – and from then on it’s a normal description, it’s just that that part is obscured by the library stamp. So I can confidently say I totally know what’s going on in this movie! *serious nod*

- Third highlight of the back of the DVD: Ian McKellen, grumpy-looking monk dude and a guy looking like Palpatine. And the Louvre.

- Also in the movie: Some German I don’t know (but yay!) and Paul Bettany. He’s cool; I really liked him in A Knight’s Tale.

- Let’s get this show on the road!

- …gotta update my media player. One sec!

- There we go. …where’s the always-on-top button? Ah, found it! Light’s off in my room; cinema time.

- Music’s already nice in the menu.

- Audio: English. (More nice music.) Subtitles: (Hey, they have Turkish on offer!) Off.

- (They even have subtitles for the trailers. But no extras. Am miffed. What kind of bare-bones DVD is this?!)

- 20 minutes after the first “about” up there: Play movie.

- Fancy title cards.

- Dude running. He’s gonna die; I know that much.

- Paul!

- *sigh*

- Oooooh, it’s Robert. That’s a lot of applause.

- (Btw, in case you didn’t know: I have watched Angels & Demons because I love Ernesto Olivetti a crazy amount.)

- I like Robert. Awesome presentation.

- Also like Tom Hanks. He’s great.

- Accents, y’all.

- Latin? Latin. Italian? No, definitely Latin.

- Ouch. Self-flagellation. Ooooooouch. Some religious people are crazy.

- Dude, you can barely stand. I’m a sadist and I don’t want you doing that to you.

- We’re only 10 minutes in, my goodness.

- Claustrophobia! I relate to that.

- Just let the dude take the stairs.

- Wow.

- Priests.

- Have I mentioned I’m not a big fan of catholics? Nothing personal.

- Also: Autistic Langdon, symbology special interest.

- French.

- Sophie! Heard of her.

- Strange happenings.

- Oooooooooh.

- French lady. I don’t speak French.

- *window jump scare*

- We don’t trust the police guy.

- Conspiracies!

- Fuck.

- “Once he starts, he doesn’t stop.” He’s like Javert.

- Climb out the window?

- More French.

- Oooooooh! They’re so tricking them, aren’t they? They’re not dumb.

- Bye bye!

- I’m sorry for Sophie.

- (I saw that part where her grandfather got shot years ago.)

- Here we go with the anagrams.

- Eidetic memory (pretty much) - firms up my autism headcanon.

- Can you even get that close to the Mona Lisa irl?

- Tom Hanks has a really nice nose. xD

- Langdon’s so good with anagrams.

- It’s like a scavenger hunt.

- Ooh, Musketeer symbol.

- Chase music!

- Flashback with crazy meetings.

- A smart! I get to bop someone now.

- Ooh, Les Mis.

- Backwards! That’s impressive.

- She’s so gonna make it.

- She made it!

- Bye bye, mirror.

- Paul’s looking angry.

- Someone got stabbed. I sense guilt.

- More dead people.

- Holy water.

- A nun.

- A rose line.

- Is he gonna kill her? She seems nervous.

- MORE FRENCH.

- Red light zone.

- (It’s raining outside. Kinda sets the mood.)

- You stay away from that dude, nun.

- Saving a junkie?

- (Sophie’s a really nice name, btw.)

- He rambles when he gets the chance so much. Really reminds me of special interests. (And in case anyone takes issue with that, I should know. I’m autistic. I have them.)

- My parents just watched Knightfall. Now I know some about the templars’ fall.

- Sophie didn’t know they were supposed to protect the Holy Grail? Really? Huh.

- Moooooore French.

- Please don’t die, nun.

- That’s some scar under his eye.

- Those look like some anger issues.

- It’s the grumpy-looking monk dude.

- Seriously, I understand more Latin than French.

-  “Blood is being spilled” as he’s spilling wine, that’s great.

- Freeeeeeeeeench.

- “I don’t think he liked me very much. He once made a joke at my expense.” I relate to this guy so hard on the autism level.

- It’s the German dude.

- That’s some system they’ve got at that bank.

- You call that a rose?

- I’m with Langdon here. Safe passage?

- Aww, poor guy. I’ve got claustrophobia, too, and I haven’t even got a traumatizing event behind me. (I read that somewhere.)

- I like the driver.

- A lot. Nice one with the watch.

- Langdon, you look sick. Please don’t die, y’all.

- JESUS CHRIST.

- Poor Sophie. </3 Woah.

- How tf did that truck get there?

- That bullet. Smaaart move. *thumbs up*

- Ouch.

- Bye bye again.

- Do I like the police captain? I don’t know.

- The tea convo. xD

- Is Langdon like this in the books? I hope he is.

- How old is Sophie? *googles Audrey Tatou* (Ooh, Amélie!) *checks when movie was made* ‘bout 30.

- Yaaaaaas, Ian.

- Also please don’t die.

- (Both my faves in Angels & Demons die. I’m vorbelastet and can’t find a good English word for that.)

- Jesus was cool.

- Those helmets. Feathers!

- “Not even his nephew twice removed.” xDDD

- Is that paisley? *googles* It is. Nice!

- Just in case you’re wondering, I am typing this as I watch the movie. I’m not saying I’m not missing anything, but I like multitasking.

- *googles The last Supper* Wow, no cup.

- Genital symbols.

- Wombs open towards the ground, though. People with them aren’t constantly doing handstands.

- Have I mentioned one of my favorite movies is Dogma, which postulates that Jesus had siblings? I’m liking this conversation.

- “Companion meant spouse.” My gay ass likes this.

- If that is Mary Magdalene, though, which apostle is missing? Been wondering this for years.

- Scions. I like this.

- I’m all for sex positivity.

- Your time’s kinda running out, guys.

- Almost halfway through, now.

- Do you seriously believe they’re murderers?

- Why do you wear your police thingies like a blind man’s band?

- Was overall expecting a bit more running in this movie, I guess.

- Poor Sophie. This is a lot to take in.

- Beating someone up with crutches! Yas!

- Like, ouch.

- Do you happen to have a secret passage under your house? Would come in real handy.

- Oh, Zürich! Man, accents. Barely understood that.

- Frehehench.

- In my personal experience claustrophobic people aren’t generally fans of planes. That might just be me, though.

- Still don’t know Paul’s character’s name.

- We are leaving the country.

- That haircut. On the dude with the grumpy-looking monk.

- Does Jesus having a family beside his parents somehow make him less holy? *shrug*

- FRENCH.

- Police brutality?

- “Please”? Seriously? I understood that much and you’re a dick.

- This is, like, some Order of the White Lotus stuff.

- You need a mirror? You can’t read it otherwise? Huh. Well, I guess it’s just easier.

- I really like Lee.

- How many more ways can I angrily write French? (I don’t have anything against the language per se. I just don’t understand what they’re saying and that irks me. There aren’t even subtitles for that. I feel like there are supposed to be subtitles.)

- (It is nice, however, that they’re sticking to the languages they’d actually be speaking. I wonder if it’s all German in German.)

- Yo, police. Be more subtle. You could have laid a trap.

- “You can start with him.” Hm! xD

- “I could run them over.” !! Man, this is great.

- This is like a fucking magic trick.

- You know what, I wanna watch that again.

- The DVD did not like that, so now I get to look at the “pick scene” menu. At least there’s more nice music.

- Just out of curiosity… *checks* There are 24 chapters and I’m at the 16th.

- I can understand more French when I concentrate on it, but I’ve been too annoyed about it so far.

- Never had French at school, btw. But have a bit of a talent for languages. When it comes to those I can sometimes cobble meaning together from context and existing knowledge.

- “The French cannot be trusted”, sounds so ominous.

- As a fan of Angels & Demons, I am very interested in what the Vatican has to say about all this.

- Told ya we don’t like planes.

- Naww, Sophie. Arm pat, yas.

- How do you accidentally fall into a well feet first? Hmm…

- Saved by pigeons, wow.

- Paul’s eyes are super blue.

- Is he gonna get killed?

- What an old-ass phone.

- I’m worried about that newspaper.

- How they’re keeping the identity of the teacher secret is A+, shooting-wise.

- “Your identity shall go with me to the grave.” Did he know he was gonna die?

- Nice one!

- Is the second movie this long? *checks* Not quite.

- Seriously. Unnaturally blue eyes.

- Shoot-out.

- I can kinda see where Lee’s coming from. Don’t agree with the method, but…

- Did a shoulder-shot really kill him?

- See? Nope.

- I think I do kinda like the police captain.

- Have I mentioned my attraction to side characters?

- Oh, that tiny wound on her neck. I like the attention to detail.

- And those stained glass windows! Pretty.

- His mind! Wow.

- I wanna see this scene without music and special effects, though, to see what Sophie and Lee see. Must be pretty weird. xD

- Dramatic musiiiiic.

- Police captain coming through! Yas.

- Robert’s like “What is happening?”

- Man, those poor policemen with the screaming dude in the back of the car.

- Can’t resist a challenge, can you?

- It’s hecking dark behind that doorway.

- Can they get away with getting rid of all the villains half an hour before the movie’s over?

- Now she’s all Ghost Whisperer-like.

- I like the way it sounds when she calls him Robert.

- (Doing some more googling. Ah, it’s Leigh. I see.)

- Who are these guys? Something bad’s happening.

- Flashbacks and MORE FRENCH.

- Wonder if Robert and Sophie use the formal you in German. It wouldn’t fit.

- Sophie’s world is kinda falling apart.

- (She’s like Bethany in Dogma. Don’t know if anyone here even knows Dogma, but I love it.)

- Family reunion! Who put those onions here?

- See? Robert and I agree. Why should a family make Jesus less holy?

- I really like this friendship. I hope they’ll meet again.

- Checking if she can walk on water. xD

- Hey, it’s the Eiffel tower! And it’s playing light house.

- Blood.

- What? What is it?

- Wow.

- This music is real nice.

- 7 minutes of credits.

- Again, though: The music is nice.

[bottomtonyhoe]

Drama Kings - Chapter 2

“ Where the fuck were you ? “ Jensen is welcomed by his mom’s angry voice .

“School , apparently . “ He kicks off his Nike’s near the door , then neatly places them in his shoe bin .

“ No . Mr. Sheppard called and told me why you skipped 7th period “ She scolds , placing a hand on her hip .

Screw you , accent asshole who can’t keep his mouth shut .

“ So ? It is not like I skipped the whole day , and hey I got a nearly perfect score in Maths in the last test , so I am good “ . It was true . He knows people take him for a dumb jock who probably inherited his dad’s IQ level , but he never had a problem with the material . He just hated listening to teachers rambling about their glory days .

“ It is not your grades I’m worried about “ She snaps and Jensen snorts . He wasn’t going to have this conversation .

“ I’m going to my room “ he practically runs upstairs , ignoring all the yelling and shutting the door behind him .

God . His room is such a mess .

_________________________________________

Jared spends the rest of the evening texting Gen and Misha . They go on and on about their summer vacation and their funny memories together . Jared warms up to them quicker than he thought , although they are a little weird to be completely honest .

He tries to distract himself with homework so he won’t think about his earlier , rather embarrassing encounter with his crazily hot neighbor . It only works for a few minutes , until he hears a loud guitar coming from the window opposite to his . Led Zeppelin voice blasts across the room and he walks towards his window . the houses aren’t even that close to each other , What the fuck is wrong with this person ?

“ Hey ! Could you turn this down ? HEY ! “ Jared yells and bangs his hand against the window , finally getting the attention of whoever that disrespectful brat was .

Except , he didn’t expect this when the curtains were moved aside .

The hot neighbor from earlier turns to be the next door brat who blasted both their windows with Metallic rock . He looks at him for a moment , then turns off the music .

“ Sorry , man . I am not used to people living in this house . It won’t happen again . “ He says scratching the back of his neck .

If God wanted to purposefully punish him , he wouldn’t create such a perfect looking human being with an equally perfect , deep voice . God dammit .

“ It’s fine “ Jared says and urges himself to move , but he feels glued to the floor .

“ I saw you earlier . You go to my school , right? “ the boy asks , leaning against his window frame . Jared tries not to stutter as he answers .

“ Yeah , I’m Jared by the way “

“ Jensen , So are you a senior too ? “

As in ‘ Asshole quarterback star ‘ Jensen freaking Ackles . This is a cosmic bad joke that God is probably playing . The boy next door is practically Regina George , no matter how dramatic that sounds .

“ Y-yeah , I am “ Jared hears himself say weakly .

“ Ok then . See you tomorrow , Jared “ Jensen throws a bright , too goddamn charming smile his way .

It takes longer this time to remember how to breathe .

Jensen sits down on his bed and writes ‘ Jared ‘ down on his Facebook search . he scrolls through the list of Jareds till he finds a ‘ Jared Padalecki ‘ with a profile picture of the boy grinning , and damn , those dimples .

He knows he shouldn’t be stalking the kid on social media , but he does it anyways . After a few minutes of scrolling , he finds out that the boy used to live in LA before he moved to Chicago . He had a golden retriever dog , but he passed away , but that’s all .

Jensen did that because he is curious . He doesn’t find Jared any more interesting than any other new kid . He is just curious , that’s all .

_____________________________

“ YOUR FUCKING NEIGHBOR “ Jared had to hold his right ear , to protect it from Gen’s mental freak out . He really shouldn’t have told her .

“ That would be an awesome romantic movie , except oh , Jensen is straight “ Misha says , digging through his cheese burger ,

“ Wait , how-“

“ How did I know you liked dicks . You stare dude , not that I mind . Hot stuff “ Misha winks at the last phrase . Jared knows he is bi . he has it on his instagram bio . Who does that ?

“ He practically tried to shatter our windows with Led Zeppelin music “ Jared says , changing the topic

“ Asshole “ Misha sings .

The three of them walk to math class . He looks up to see Jensen taking a seat in front of him .

“ Hey , Jared . “ Jensen turns around , flashing him one of his charming smiles . His freckles are even more fascinating up close . Jared finds himself smiling .

“ So , You are coming to today’s game ?” Jensen asks and Jared shrugs

“ I don’t know . I’m not really into football .”

“ You don’t have to be . Just come watch . Maybe I can make you like it “ . A smirk spreads on his flawless lips and Jared gulps .

God . Is he flirting ? He is straight , right ?

“ Alright “

Then Mrs. Rhee walks in the class and Jensen turns around , a smile still plastered on his face .

God . Jared is royally fucked .

_____________________

Later on , Jared sits on the first bench next to Gen , who starts telling him the names of football players .

“ And this is Tyler Lockwood . A homophobic son of a whore who happens to be your neighbor’s brother in crime . Another reason why I hate the football team , and why Misha had gone home by now . “

Wow . So he wasn’t flirting at all .

“ A bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole bunch “ Jared didn’t know why ( or who ) he was defending .

“ Don’t tell me you got the hots for Ackles “ She whispers , as if it was highly confidential .

“ God Gen . No , I am not dumb enough to like a straight guy “

Or is he ?

“ You’d better not be , Padalecki “ then Gen looks straight ahead .

He doesn’t understand why they don’t like him that much . He was pretty nice to Jared and apart from arrogance and loud music , he is bearable .

But again , he only spoke to him for 2 minutes .

“ Here he comes “

________________________

Apparantly , Jared likes football .

No , He likes how Jensen plays football . They won the game , thanks to him . Jensen takes off his helmet , enjoying the glory of being the star of the match . His name is being chanted , people are praising him and the coach pats his shoulder roughly , with a proud smile on his face .

Jensen looks up at him and their eyes lock , then suddenly , he doesn’t hear all those cheers . He can only see Jensen’s beautiful smile , just for him , and his forest green eyes . He returns the smile with a grin and mouths “ great job “ which seems to widen Jensen’s smile and earn him a wink .

Wait , did he just wink at him ? Wow .

“ Did he just ? “ Gen asks , confusion dancing around her face .

Jared takes a deep breathe , then shrugs

______________________

“ You nailed it “ Jensen hears Tyler praise before he feels his bone crushing embrace . God , they both stink .

“ I know , right ? “ Jensen smiles and Ty punches his arm , both undressing .

See ? Jensen doesn’t find guys hot , doesn’t stare . Why the fuck is Jared so different ? or so beautiful ?

“ Did you see Osric today ? “ Ty asks , getting in the shower and closing the door behind him . Jensen does the same and takes off the rest of his clothes , letting the hot water run down his body .

“ Why ? didn’t do your homework ?”

“ Damn straight . He said he’d do it , but I can’t find him anywhere and Mr, Physics bullshit gave me a load of crap “

Jensen chuckles . typical asshole .

“ So what will you do when we find him ? “ Jensen quickly puts on his black V-neck T-shirt , boxers and black jeans .

“ We ? thought you told me to do my homework myself , Ackles .” Ty says getting out of the shower , fully dressed .

“ I’m feeling generous today . And hey , the kid went back on his word . He has it coming “ Jensen smirks . the truth is , he has nothing to do for the rest of the day and also , he wants to forget all about the Padalecki boy . He won’t act all jerk towards Osric . In fact , it is much better if he is there to hold Ty back . His friend was 10 times the asshole he was .

“ He is probably in the library .Physics advanced class has this new project , so he is probably researching “ he says packing my gym bag .

“ How the fuck do you know ? “ Ty frowns , folding his shoulders

“ Because I passed its test and they added me to their telegram group “ Jensen mumbles , hearing him gasp .

“ You what ? “

“ Dude , it was an IQ test . I didn’t even study much for it and if it makes you feel better , I haven’t attended a single one “ Jensen snaps , not believing Ty became that much of an asshole that he had to explain himself to him . He just chuckles .

“ Man , I should make you do my homework “ He grins .

“ Bite me “ and he snorts .

___________

“ Thermodynamics are ten times easier than this Shakespeare novel , I swear “ Osric says smiling and Jared chuckles .

Jared met the kid in the library , helping him search for Henry’s gas law reference . And the conversation just kept flowing , mostly about English and Physics . Exchanging information and that kind of shit .

They hear footsteps and they both turn to the source . Jensen Ackles and Tyler Lockwood stand near the entrance and he locks eyes with Jensen , but Tyler moves to their table and grabs Osric by his collar , making him stand up .

“ So , you still think it is a good idea not to do my homework ? “ Tyler hisses in his face and Jared’s eyes widen . So that’s why Misha and Gen hate these two . God . He thought Jensen wasn’t that low .

“ Hey ! Leave him alone “ Jared says stepping closer to Lockwood , who gives him a rather amused expression .

“ Look what we got here “ Tyler says and lets go of Osric , turning his full attention to Jared .

Jared wasn’t at all defenseless . He worked out , he wasn’t as built as Tyler but still tall enough . He knew how to fight , he just hated it .

“ Hey hey ! Back the fuck off “ Jensen’s voice rings across the library and he stands in front of Tyler .

“ Your problem is with Osric. Leave the kid alone “ Jensen says getting in his face . If Jared was in Tyler’s shoes , he would be scared shitless right now .

“ You’re scared of that pussy or what ? “ Tyler asks , clearly irritated .

“ You call him that one more time and you will face me . He is with me “ Jensen snaps .

He shouldn’t stand like a girl , feeling all warm while watching a guy defend his honor , but he does . He feels protected , almost enough to make him forget what kind of douchebag was protecting his ass , or making him blush .

“ Whatever , man “ Tyler pushes Jensen away and storms out of the library .

“ Hey . Are you ok kid ? “ He asks Osric and Jared narrows his eyes .

“ Now you’re all concerned ? “ Jared asks , not helping the small stutter in his words .

“ Look , I didn’t know he was your friend “ Jensen looks at his eyes . and goddamn it is not the time for Jared to stare right now .

“ And it would be ok if he wasn’t ? “He folds his arms . Jensen opens his mouth to say something and then he closes it again . His hands close into fists . Jared can’t help but notice the veins in his arms . Not fucking now .

“ You know what ? If I didn’t step in , your bacon would be toast . so how about a little credit ? “ He snaps and Jared can’t help but flinch . He looks at Jared for a moment then he storms out of the library .

It really isn’t the time to think about how hot Jensen looked while angry . and why the fuck is Jared blushing right now ?

———————

Next update is next week ♥️

Chapter-1

Masterlist

[mass-convergence]

Like I really want to like Batwoman which is why I watch it every week and I do like some parts of it. Kate Kane is an awesome character and I’m glad she’s getting a TV show. 

My thoughts below the cut

Disclaimer: I haven’t read Elegy partially because I don’t have time but also if this season is based on/an adaptation of the story line it still needs to stand on its own. Basically: I don’t know how Elegy goes but if it is anything like the TV arc I’d have chucked the book out the window in frustration.

I’d like it a bit more if some of these characters actually acted like human beings though? Like the writing and the acting to me just feel ... off (and honestly it’s probably mostly the writing, it comes off as stilted and weird and off kilter).

Like I do like some plot lines where you scream at the character through your screen for acting like an idiot but I feel there’s no emotion behind it. Kate is just going through the motions of telling Alice to cut it out and let her help her. She doesn’t seem to be actually emoting though - and it could partially be due to Ruby Rose’s acting, I don’t know enough about her other acting roles to really make a judgment on writing vs acting because as I said: I dislike the writing on this show. She could be an excellent actor with just some really shitty dialogue and she can’t make it work. I mostly say this because there are some genuinely good acting moments in this series from Ruby Rose so it can’t just be her skill, it’s got to be the writing. Also it’s a CW show and I know that writing on many of these shows isn’t the strongest because ~~~~~*LOOK AT THE DRAMAAAAAAAA*~~~~~~~~~~.

But back to the screaming: “Why are you being an idiot” at my computer while watching this.

I don’t know what direction they’re trying to head with Kate and Alice. Is this a situation where Alice is blatantly manipulating Kate and her survivor’s guilt over the car accident by giving her little snippets of Beth being “still in there somewhere”? Or does Alice truly have a “good side” or at least a “Beth side” in there? I mean she probably does need help I’ll give you that but Kate has had multiple chances to bring her sister to justice and she’s failed in every single one of them. 

It’s not bad per se, people are allowed to not be perfect and act against literally everyone’s interests. But every episode seems to have the same “Kate emotionlessly stares at Alice as she chews the scenery for a bit, tells Kate what a shitty sister she was for being like 12 and not going to the ends of the earth to find her because she had to have known she was alive through their ‘twin connection’, and Kate’s like ‘noooo, Alice you need to come back. Let me get you help’. And then Alice kills someone and is like, ‘whoops dear sister isn’t going to like that’ and Kate is like, ‘stop killing people Alice/Beth’.”

Like I feel like after the first or second senseless murder I’d have just completely lost all faith in my sister to act like a decent fucking human being (sorry sis, I’m sure and I’d hope you’d do the same for me though - please for the love of god and the safety of everyone in whatever city I end up in do the same for me). Survivor’s guilt or no. Because it turns out - having a shitty back story does not give you a free pass on murdering people. 

Like Alice poisoned Mary’s mom which okay, sure she was the CEO/founder/head of a defense company that arguably did some very shitty and shady things including lying to Kate and her dad about the skull fragments and covering it up by attempting to murder Alice with the bomb - still not a free pass for murder. Sorry, I’ll go lick a boot now Tumblr. But apparently she also poisoned Mary who had fuck all to do with that and was just guilty by association (and also I guess Alice was jealous that Kate had a step-sister even though Kate seems to not give much of a shit about Mary ... another problem I have with this show - Kate is kind of a dick to her and I’m not entirely sure if it’s being framed like it’s bad). Even if it was “accidental” (”Oh you drank the champagne too?”) there was always that possibility. Not sure it was accidental though, pretty sure it wasn’t accidental. idk, I’m not about to wade through CW’s 5,000,000 ads on their video player to rewatch that scene.

And then there’s the Sophie/Tyler/Kate forced drama shit which seems to be mostly Kate trying to move on, Sophie being a little hung up on the fact that her ex is now back in town, and Tyler being like, “You used to like girls?!” and seemingly not understanding that yes, bi people exist. Again because of the writing or the acting I really can’t tell if Sophie loves Tyler or Kate or if either of them really love or have feelings for Sophie? It feels forced, like CW was like, “NO THERE MUST BE A LOVE TRIANGLE BECAUSE ~~~~~*LOOK AT THE DRAMAAAAAAAA*~~~~~~~~~~” or something. But being someone who really doesn’t like romantic drama in their media I can’t comment more on that tbh aside from: Tyler... I feel there’s a time and a place to discuss your marital issues with your wife and it’s not at work while trying to prove your boss didn’t just murder his wife. Like home, you guys do have a home and don’t live in the Crows headquarters yes? (fun fact: accidentally spelled that Crowes and just had a mental image of a thousand Russell Crowes running around Gotham beating up bad guys)

I guess to wrap this up:

- writing is still iffy and honestly bad

- I really do want to like this show and I’m hoping the writing improves

- Oh god I forgot other DC shows existed and when that stinger for Crisis on Infinite Earths popped up I was like, “W a t ... wait isn’t that that dude from that show?” 

- Kate I’m glad you finally realized you really need to stop giving your sister a free pass but it’s kind of late for that

- tbh the best dialog writing continues to belong to Alice and Mary because they seem to both just take the shitty dialog and run with it and it’s probably because Alice is written to be an over-the-top Joker-esque villain and Mary to be the fun younger sister with some depth to her character other than “fun younger sister Gotham socialite Instagram celeb”, she runs a damn medical clinic which ... just give her her damn MD already because I don’t see anyone else (doctors or nurses) helping her with that and somehow she’s like Meredith Grey on steroids.

[guerilla935]

The Advantage Of A New IP

In the fashion of it being a brand new year we get asked a pretty general and not at all specific question. What game do you want to see this year? In every new years edition podcast and youtube channel this is hot debate. Of course in your mind you have limited options. You say to yourself, do I want a sequel of something we already have? Has a production company that I’ve heard of before not made anything in a while? You can only answer in what you know. And in the most recent years, the devs have been listening. Do you want The Last of Us Part 2? Naughty Dog will deliver. Expecting a new Legend of Zelda game? Nintendo will probably keep making them until the sun super novas so you are good there. But you would never answer that question with: “I want a (insert adjective here) game.” I mean you might, in which case you must have a very specific itch to scratch good on you for knowing what you like. In any case I will valiantly fight for every game that is still on the drawing board that is not a number 2, 3, or 4. Not a sequel or a prequel. Not an HD remix 2.5 remake. This is why we need to be excited for original games that still have yet to be conceived in a game engine or drawing board.

CD PROJEKT RED

To prove my point I am going to break down what makes CD PROJEKT RED’s The Witcher series so indigestible and why it is so popular now. This company makes a very good video game, but if you jumped into The Witcher 3 you would have been pelted with so much lost exposition that you have already lost interest by the time you have killed the Griffin which is where every person I have talked to (including myself) has stopped playing that game the first time they had picked it up. The game plays very non traditionally, the combat is scarce, each battle takes crafting and social preparation that is tiresome if you were not expecting to work so hard to get to the action, and the travel time is tolerable but not the greatest thing. But the story is amazing and you are waiting on that to pull you through. However we are looking for Yenefer, who is that? Why is this old guy following me around? Why does everybody hate me? Kaer Mohren is uh, a place? Not anymore? The story comes in at a weird place. So you say okay lets go play the first two games, wrong, the first game is unplayable if you have updated windows since windows 10 came out. You could have an awesome time playing just The Witcher 2 and then 3 but lets assume that you just gave up. Fast forward to 2019 and Netflix releases the first season of The Witcher series based on some fantasy novels written by a Russian dude in 1993. Whether you liked the show or not you and 100,000 people actually start playing through The Witcher 3 because you know who Yenefer is, you kind of know who Vesemir is, you know why everybody hates you and how to deal with it, and you have that catchy song stuck in your head. My point in all this is that until a Netflix series taught you how interesting this story and this world is you and most people had every intention of not touching the game at all. CD PROJEKT RED has now announced a cyber punk crime drama starring Keanu Reaves, it is also based on a lot of prior source material but the average player like me would have no idea about that kind of stuff. It sounds awesome and it probably will be, but it is gaining a lot of steam because it’s new and exciting and we can dive in blind which is an awesome feeling.

The Remake

Three of 2020′s most anticipated games are full remakes. Final Fantasy VII, Doom Eternal, and Resident Evil 3. Before we have this argument I’m not going to admit that Doom Eternal is not a remake because it really is, it is awesome plot-less demon shooting and as long as they keep using the Doom name it is all just a remake of Doom. The problem with the hype for these games is that it is hinged on if the fans consider Final Fantasy VII (2020) to be as good as their memory of Final Fantasy VII (1997) and people have pretty exaggerated memories. Doom Eternal also has to upstage Doom (2016) and Resident Evil 3 (2020) has to be better than Resident Evil 3 (1999) and make more improvements than Resident Evil 2 (2019) which will still disappoint fans because Capcom wants to make it more action based which is what killed the franchise back in 2009. But what is really sad is talented writers are adapting content for a modern generation when they could be writing new content for a new era. Video games age worst out of any type of media and I am glad that these are getting restored but we are seeing so much effort put into showing our kids why we were crying when we changed from disc 1 to disc 2 in Final Fantasy VII that we may not get to see Final Fantasy XVI until the far future.

Hideo Kojima

Before I start this section I want to say that Hideo Kojima is one of my personal favorite people. As soon as Mads Mikkelsen and Norman Reedus got hypnotized by Hideo Kojima to work on Death Stranding the games development cycle that involved nobody, not even Hideo Kojima, knowing what in the heck what was being put together in his offices made so much noise in gaming that it could not fail. There are a few games that need only a few seconds to prove that they are worth playing and having Norman Reedus incubate a baby on screen and nothing else is probably the most surreal experience anyone has ever had seeing a game trailer. This original IP whether you loved it or hated it was really exciting to live through the launch of, and when we see game trailers in the future I can only hope that they are as exciting as this one.

The Difference

So what is the difference between seeing a trailer for Final Fantasy VII (2020) and seeing a trailer for Ghost of Tsushima? For me the difference is that when I see Cloud appear with the buster sword I am excited to know what they kept, to see how they improved it. When I see a samurai on screen do crazy ninja moves and disappear I want to see more, a lot more. I know what to expect from the next Legend of Zelda, I know what to expect from Call of Duty, for Assassin’s Creed, and I love when they do blow those expectations away. But when Naughty Dog sends me a YouTube video of the Planet Earth clip where the ant goes psycho and grows a mushroom out of its face then the game comes out and I never knew it would be so sad and intense and rewarding it is unlike anything else. We spend most of our time as gamers anticipating the next rush and I can tell you exactly what it’ll feel like to play the next Doom or Metroid Prime but I will never be able to put into words the next time I will get to play a new game for the first time will be like.

[i-used-to-wear-the-fedora]

Be More Chill Michael Mell Drama Club Enthusiast AU, I'm Gonna Freaking Explode

"C-c-c-'mon, go, go," Christine mumbled as she tapped her fingers on the dashboard of her Pinto trying to get the CD player to work but it only made a crunching noise and spat out her Heathers CD, "shit." Giving up she pulled into a driveway where she saw a familiar face waiting.

"Hey, Christine!" Jeremy waved before getting in her car as they pulled out. "How's it hanging?"

"Well I'm pretty sure my CD player's busted again."

"Maybe you should get a new car."

"I barely had enough money for this car!"

"Probably because you spent the rest on Hamilton tickets," Jeremy snorted before Christine playfully punched him in the shoulder.

"Not my fault the tickets were crazy expensive. And at least I have my license."

"Hey, I just haven't....gotten around to going to the DMV." Christine snorted as she pulled into the school's parking lot. Driving around she saw an empty space but when she began to pull in a red pick up abruptly pulled in front of her, scratching the front of her car.

"Hey!" Christine called, sticking her head out the window. "What the heck?!"

"Sorry losers but you weren't fast enough!" Rich Goranski got out followed by Jake Dillinger who glanced over at Christine with a sheepish look.

'Sorry,' he mouthed out before turning back to Rich. First bumping the smaller boy the two began to walk to school as Christine stared after them.

"Somebody got a crush?" Jeremy asked teasingly causing Christine's face to turn bright red.

"Um,er-no! I totally don't."

"Uh-huh sure, I'll just pretend I didn't just see your eyes following Jake Dillinger's butt."

"I was not! And even if I was, I was just appreciating his new jeans."

"How'd you know they were new?" Jeremy asked as Christine stared at the steering wheel until she pulled into a parking spot.

"Y-yeah well you're one to talk!" Christine said, grabbing her bag and exiting the car. "At least I don't stalk my crush on social media." Jeremy hit his head on the top of the car getting out when Christine mentioned that.

"I do not stalk Michael. I just want to see what he's interested in."

"Mmm-hmm, sure. And you totally don't weird like everything he posts and always stare at pictures of him at swim practice." Jeremy's face turned a deep scarlet walking next to Christine through the school doors. His face could only stare at the ground as he trailed close behind when Christine came to an abrupt stop causing Jeremy to bump into her. Looking up he saw Christine staring at the wall and glancing part her shoulder he saw the cause for her sudden stop.

"The after school play!!" Christine excitedly took the pen and wrote down her name. "There doing it early this year! Oh it's going to be so fun, Jeremy you have to sign up!"

"Me?" Jeremy blanked at the thought. "If I did that I'd be called gay for the rest of my highschool career."

"But you do like guys."

"Yeah but I don't need to give Rich another name to call me at lunch."

"Please Jeremy? For me?"

"No w..." Jeremy trailed off mid-sentence before quickly hiding behind Christine.

"Jeremy? What are you doing?" He pointed a finger past her shoulder and the teen turned to see Jeremy's crush himself approaching the sign up sheet. "Oh." The boy in question took the pen Christine had just used and signed his name under hers. Michael Mell was unintentionally the coolest kid at school and nobody would make fun of him for signing up for the play. If he did it, it was cool. "Michael, you're signing up?" Christine asked confused.

"Oh, hey Christine! Yeah my moms said I should try and branch my extracurriculars out more." He looked past her when he noticed the tuft of shaking brown hair. "Who's that?"

"Oh! Ugh, this is my friend Jeremy! He's going to sign up too!"

"Really? That's awesome dude!" Michael said as Jeremy sputtered out a barely audible answer. He was about to reply when the warning bell rang. "Oh shit, got to go! See you guys at play practice tonight!"

"Yeah!" Christine nodded as Michael disappeared down the hall. Turning to Jeremy she saw his face was a bright red as obviously sweaty hands. "You okay there bud?"

"Christine can you do me a favor?"

"Yeah?"

"If I die of embarrassment, please don't let Rich draw penises on grave stone."

[seven-oomen]

Hi, Ben!  Hope you had a good time with your mom and brother, and that the call with the therapist went well!  The casual Dean cosplay got me thinking; do you suppose going forward cosplayers will start wearing a nail necklace instead of a Samulet?  XD  Also, I found out Netflix has the last episodes up, so I told my friend who’s been watching, so I’m very much looking forward to seeing what kind of reaction she has to them whenever she gets there.

Since you’d been curious, here’s how my Christmas tree turned out this year, with bonus tiny side table tree.  One year I’m going to have the room to get a tree big enough for all my ornaments (there are a few I left off), as well as garland and maybe popcorn strands.  Yes, there are indeed two x-wings and two Lukes (there will be even more Lukes if I find them for sale) on there.  There are quite a few Star Wars ornaments, actually, including Ewoks on the tiny tree.  There are also a lot of Marvel, several Batman, a number of Looney Tunes/Tom & Jerry/Scooby-Doo, and at least one converted anime keychain.  The View-Master actually works and has extra slides.  I still need to get some dino ornaments.  I feel like the only ones I ever find are glittery, which, pretty, but I don’t want to deal with the mess.

And don’t worry, my French is probably even rustier than yours.  I got the gist, but I won’t pretend I didn’t double-check myself with Google Translate to be sure I wasn’t mis-remembering.  But both previews are adorable, and I can totally feel their pain on wanting to pet the puppy.  (You can always tell when a really cute one has come in the store, because all the employees start subtly flocking towards it for a turn at playing with it.  XD )  I can’t help but wonder a bit how they’ll take to the idea of having three parents instead of two.  Stiles and Malia would likely be pretty used to the idea, because of Claudia, and Allison doesn’t seem like she’d mind, but Jackson…did not get off to the best start with his extra parent…(not that I think Noah would hold it against him in any way.)  Also, if this happens on the child’s first full moon, did Stiles and Malia get introduced to Chris and his twins, or had they left by then?  Since they would definitely have been gone when Malia turned for the first time, will she have to be “introduced” to everyone as well?

And it may be amusing to you that they haven’t kissed, but some of us are developing an eye twitch and drinking vicariously through Melissa while internally screeching.  XD  They are like the absolute embodiment of that Two Characters Finally Kiss meme, but when you reach the bottom it’s nothing but feral screaming because “BUT WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE STUBBORN ONE?!  THEY’RE ALL THE STUBBORN ONE!!”

Also, the random headcanon question of the day is about their singing voices.  Are any of them tenors, or are they all three baritones?  (I can’t quite picture any of them as a bass.)  I know Noah’s the best out of the three, but do any of them have a voice suited to any particular styles (jazz/blues, rock, country, crooner/pop, etc?)  Mostly this stemmed from trying to decide who’d sing what parts in duets, etc (I may have been listening to way too much Christmas music lately.)

That post about John Winchester only getting to be in Heaven as long as he kept his stupid comments to himself was amazing.  I may have cackled out loud reading that one.  Also, I don’t care if it makes me old, I’m legit still sad that there aren’t visual options anymore when listening to stuff in Windows Media Player.  I could zone out for hours with that shit.  XD  Oh, and omg, the manly knots thing made me think of this one time at work, where I was sorting through some boxes of freestanding displays (called shippers, ironically XD ), and they all had descriptions on the side of what kind of dog toy they contained.  One of these was “KNOTTED DUCKS” (they were a rope and canvas toy of some kind, I think), and I nearly gave myself whiplash double-checking that one, because I did not read “DUCKS” the first time (and I don’t even read much a/b/o, and hadn’t written any at all at that time.  My brain is just permanently in the gutter, and I accept that about myself.)

Anyway, I hope your day was a good one overall, even if long!  I hope tomorrow is also good, and I look forward to the full moon shenanigans whenever you feel it’s ready!  (I may have to go reread the puppy pile snippet again, actually.  It’s so cute!)  :D  Take care!  *Hugs!*

Oooh that’s a really pretty tree! I love the ornaments and the organization of it <3 that is awesome! You have so many dude, that is sooo cool!

I still want to get more ornaments for mine but so far this is my “super gay” Disney Christmas tree:

And now I really want to make like a fake nail to wear around my neck for my Dean cosplays XD. I think that would be a nice touch at cons if I make one out of EVA foam. (Reals nails would not be allowed on the con floor.)

And I think I said Stiles and Malia were two weeks old (about) when Chris left. SO that would mean Chris left around the 27/28 of March in 1994. And I looked it up and the full moon was on 27th March. Which means it’s up for debate. 

It does mean that Allison and Jackson were introduced to the pack at 3 days old, since the full moon was on the 27th and they were born on the 24th. Which also means that Chris was probably still very tired and sore when he had to introduce his children to a rambunctious wolf pack. Though I like to think that both John and Peter kept a very close eye on them.

As for Malia, she would probably be have to reintroduced to Chris and her siblings in a way. I’m not sure how I’ll do it. But it makes for an interesting premise. Since she probably ran with Peter and the Hale pack during full moons back when they only visited her father. So she would still be pack to Derek, Peter, Noah, and Stiles.

The real wildcard will be Scott. He’s not gonna handle this full moon well and I haven’t decided if I want him to full shift immediately or if he has to learn it. After all, he’s not born into it and he doesn’t have a wolf parent.

And Jackson in particular will not take well to being parented by Noah. There will be a lot of bitching from Jackson. Ben’s not gonna mind and Noah’s basically been adopted by Ben as Poppa. Allison will be the neutral. She will be calling him Noah but will also allow him to comfort her and parent her.

Malia would be pretty cool with Chris, she feels like she can tell Chris anything and he’ll understand and she adopts him as another guardian figure, but she still calls him Chris for a while. Stiles will ironically call Chris papa and bitch a little (mostly about Jackson and “how could you give me a brother like that?”) But he would also defend Chris (and Jackson) from anyone who tries to badmouth them (that’s his job) or tries to uproot his family. And he’d go to Chris for advice.

XD I am planning to get them closer in chapter 14. That one is going to be filled with romance. Hold on for that one.

Ooh good question. I guess I’d say Noah’s voice is more suited for Classic rock and he’s the best singer out of the three. All three of them are barritones but I think Noah can get the highest out of the three. Peter’s voice is very well suited to country or ballads (hallelujah etc.) and Chris is more the Jazz/Blues kinda guy.

Knotted ducks send me places XD GOOD GOD XD You are not the only one with a dirty dirty mind my friend, never worry. XD

Hope you’re doing okay, my day’s been pretty quiet so far and I’m hoping to write the rest of the chapter tonight.

Lots of hugs from me and Mo!

[fmlfpl]

Down the Rabbit Hole with Scott

FPL Cup Night Stalker, Round One Preview

Greetings all,

It's the most wonderful time of them all, if you're into chasing down into the rabbit holes of the intertubes.  It's FPL Cup time, and I know most "serious" FPL players probably regard this as a trivial little side game, but I think it's just a weekly delivery of a whole new box of puzzles.  Each week we get just a name and a team page.  Who is this dude?  Is it a dude?  Is it a famous dude?  Is it a grumpy middle school history teacher from Newcastle?  Is it the future Australian Men's National Team Coach?  Is it a stripper/model/waitress/actress from South Africa?  Is it a high school cricket player from somewhere in Ireland?  The internet is a wonderful thing and with a few clicks here and a few clicks there, voila!, your opponent is no longer a random name but is a flesh and blood, real life person with whom you are locked in mortal combat.

I've been doing this thing for a few years for my minileague and wanted to share the fun.  I think I probably find about 2/3 of the opponents with pretty high degree of certainty.  And when I can't find them, I sure don't let the truth get in the way of a good story.  Here's what I dug up this week on the Cup opponents for the FMLFPL crew.  Team pages are linked.

Walsh -- 882 points, 167,084th place

Gooner XI -- Sayantan Bhattacharya -- 807 points, 1,215,432nd place

This is Sayantan's sixth year playing FPL, vs. Walsh's fifth, but the Indian gent has yet to crack the top 150K.  He played a Free Hit Chip back in GW12, but it really doesn't look like he made very much of it as he only changed about five players.  Weird.  His is a much more common name than you might initially think (unless you're Indian and it probably seems like Sean Thompson, or something like that), and the search took a while.  He's in a bunch of leagues, but when I looked at the smallest of them, I found a bunch of guys who all had this guy as one of their friends, and I think this must be his page, pretending he's a Gooner and shit because Gooner Fans are generally kind of insane.  But really?  Thomas Vermaelen?  And then I saw the URL to the page and it has his actual name.  Yup, that's him.  So what does he do? Not really sure.  The other guys in his smallest league all seem to be engineer types at various places about India, but there doesn't look like a common thread to their training.  So I think they basically sit around the Indian version of GoonerSlack and just talk shit on Spurs all day long. Sound about right?

This one seems like it ought to be a walkover with Walsh's Sterling, Silva, Salah differentials and with the Chelsea defense.  Kun and Lukaku are Sayantan's only hope.  Smash him Walsh!

Alon -- 859 points, 354,675th place

TB -- Su Myat -- 835 points, 679,258th place

This is the second season for Su, who flies the Myanmar flag, and who claims a Chelsea allegiance.  Su finished 1.1 million last year and is doing better this year.  Now first off, if you do a FB search for Su Myat, about the first three pages of links that come up, or maybe even more, all look like they work at one of those strip mall foot massage places with the sliding windows and shady price menus and the exiting clients who are scanning the parking lot furtively to make sure nobody recognizes them.  And none of the people in these links happen to be wearing Chelsea kit in their pictures.  And some aren't wearing very much, period.  In fact like the whole list consists of people like that who really don't look like they would even know what FPL was.  This was the only guy I saw while scrolling. And he doesn't look particularly interested in FPL either. Ultimately I had to give up looking for this one for fear that the kids would walk through and see some dubious images while I was hunting for this needle in a haystack.  No happy ending here.

The injuries could hit Alon on this one with Morata out, but if Kane Kanes like Kane can Kane, then it's not going to be much fun time for Su.  I think Alon should see this one through.

Producer Nate  -- 891 points, 115,516th place

JC junior the kop FC -- Khuzaimi Ismail -- 814 points, 1,062,611st place

This is the second FPL season for Khuzaimi while it is Nate's sixth.  Nate topped out at 24K two years ago, while his Malaysian opponent finished 694K in his debut season.  Malaysian opponents are sooo hard to track down in general, but this is the guy here.  Three of the guys common to one of his minileagues are all FB friends and are flying this same banner in their pictures, whatever it is.  It says he is from London but currently lives in Shah Alam, Malaysia.  He used to work at Euphoria, which says it is some kind of Marketing and Social Media Agency, but looks maybe kinda like a nightclub place also.  Maybe Nate could get a gig there for the band?  Road trip to Malaysia!  Who's in?!?!?

Khuzaimi has Aguero teed up and ready to tit against Swansea, and KDB could add to the damage, but I think those could be countered by Kane and Silva if they get their large units swinging in the box as well.  Nate probably has an edge on the defender front, especially if Jones makes it back into the lineup.  Show this lad how the entertainment business is properly run, Nate!

Guest Jason -- 875 points, 213,357th place

Beast FC -- Lochie Rumble -- 603 points, 4,601,569th place

Who does this?  This is a first year account for Lochie and there hasn't been a single roster move all season.  No lineup change.  No transfers.  And yeah, I know that some people make teams to enter into some kind of set it/forget it contest where you have one lineup that stays set for the whole season.  But this is not the kind of lineup you would come up with if you were doing that.  Sam McQueen, Rob Holding, and Emre Can are in the starting lineup, along with Rajiv van La Parra.  Jack Butland is the vice captain pressed into action whenever autoCap Kun sits out or fractures his torso.  Allegedly.  This team isn't in any minileagues and that's not even really a name, I don't think, so I doubt we'll get a peek at the psycho who came up with this thing, but like a science experiment gone bad, it seems to have been properly abandoned.  But wait...  I never totally quit, and it turns out that Lochie Rumble is actually a Twitter account with two followers, but who has liked 3,660 things.  I hope they don't actually like their team.  And he's also some kind of gamer, I guess.  I'm going to suggest that he stick to things other than FPL.

Aguero, KDB and Mane for Lochie, but the rest of the team is shite and Jason should move on to the next round.

Derek -- 909 points, 53,435th place

The Blues -- (some Bulgarian name -- seems to translate as Milen Dilov) -- 577 points, 4,746,427th place

It's Milen's first FPL season and it might be his last, by the looks of it.  It's Derek's second year after finishing 47K in his 2016/17 debut.  Milen did nothing in the first few weeks, but then in GW5 made three transfers, and that has been it.  And that week, he decided to triple captain Morata at home against Arsenal.  Obviously a Chelsea fan with his team name and that move.  He got a 1x3=3 point haul after Morata played 88 minutes and only produced a yellow card as a return.  Whoops.  Milen isn't in any minileagues so doesn't have any cross linking that way.  I have no way of knowing which of the multiple Milen Dilovs is actually "running" this team, but I'm gonna go with this guy, because the pictures on his page are pretty awesome and he works at Monster Energy.

Derek should win this one pretty easily.  The midfield matchup is really one-sided.  And Kane.  And etc.  Go do it Derek!

Scott -- 919 points, 32,852nd place

TGH -- Toby Hollingsworth -- 752 points, 2,529,919th place

And finally my team! This is another first year FPL player who has gone Ghost.  He made his single roster transaction in GW5.  The lineup has stayed the same since, and he only made it into the Cup because his armband is on Kane.  Kane produced 24 of Toby's 44 points last week.  Really not fair that he gets in, and so many active players don't.  Booooo Toby!  Anyway, here is Toby on Facebook.  His picture from back in 2013 is rather embarrassing, and in 2012 he is partying in a room with some Justin Bieber posters on the wall.  At least one of the others in his one minileague lives in Newcastle and two of them seem to have been in college together at Leeds Beckett University.  Can't seem to lock down on where Toby lives now, or maybe he's just on the road following the Beebz. Anyway, he sure isn't tending to his team, so hopefully I can just put him out of his misery, but you never know what happens in H2H.

Toby will get eleven out on the pitch, but just barely and I think I have the edge in midfield differentials and should hopefully manage cleans from three, if not four of my defenders.

Crazy, yeah, but only marginally more crazy than the existence of this game at all, when you think about it...

Good luck everybody!  Go smash those random opponents!  They deserve it.

- Scott AKA @tempebug on twitter

[wickedchrissy]

For The Just Made Up Ask Thing: 1, 2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 17, 18, 19, 21, 23, 25, 28, 29, 30, 31, 36, 37, 43, 44, 49, 55, 56, 60, 62, 63, 66, 69, 74, 75. I Love You And I ) (ope Somefin Good ) (appens To You Soon

For whatever reason I never got the notification for this so I’ll just do it now haha

Lots of good stuff has been happening to me! And I hope you’re feeling better hun

1. Are you a side, back, or front sleeper? I fall asleep on my side but end up on my back usually

2. When you hum random music what song is it? like the theme song to mario or some shit

5: How did you fall into the tumblr hellpit? my friend in highschool made me one a week before midterms and guess who didn’t want to do midterms

6: What fan interest of yours would you least prefer to explain in your workplace? My Little Pony. While I’m no longer a fan, I still enjoyed the show for a few good seasons before the fandom ruined it. Would rather not be seen as a brony to coworkers

7: What fan interest or yours would you most enjoy explaining in your workplace? Harry Potter. In fact I actually got a ton of my coworkers to sort themselves on pottermore

8: Last song you listened to? Lucky Strike–Maroon 5

9: Weirdest thing on your dash today? THIS

17: What type of mad science will you Show Them All with? (ex: mad chemical engineer, mad library scientist, mad linguist). Which of your creations will probably turn on you? okay this question confuses me lmao. I guess I’m a mad punner? and I’d bet one about a lightswitch ;D

18: Favorite cheesy trope? I’m a sucker for soulmate stuff or friends to lovers. mostly because I believe in it haha

19: Favorite trope nobody writes enough of? FWB tropes (I’m sinful)

21: Wierdest tumblr drama you’ve been a part of or stumbled across. God dude idek. so much drama. I don’t really care.

23: What is something you collect? fortunes from fortune cookies :)

25: The last game you played is crossed with the zombie apocalypse and now going down outside your window. How boned are you? well the last game I played was Zelda: Twilight Princess so I guess I’m a wolf so not bad actually?

28: Your icon is now the voice of your inner therapist. How is this gonna go? Dude Lance as my inner therapist? he is such a good person and loves to help other people out and use humor aw damn it’ll be great!!

29: Name a kink you only like hypothetically. Threesomes. Sounds super awesome but now that I’ve found someone I love adding anyone else to the picture just seems wrong. Or even just unsatisfying? Why would I want to add a foreign body into an already perfect dynamic?

30: Name a kink you find bewildering. “Daddy”

31: You have acquired: a mouse, a lizard, a rabbit, a spider, a domestic fox. Name them! Who gets to sleep on the bed? Snickers. Reptar. Flopsy. Alice. Vulpix. and the fox and the rabbit. hopefully they don’t eat each other lmao

36: What meme gets on your nerves? Any memes about shootings. Please draw a line.

37: Showers or baths? I always shower but god a bath sounds lovely

43: Shuffle up a random song on your media player. Now tell me what ship/story goes with it. I got I.M. SIN by Five Finger Death Punch and lmao I can only think of Keith

44: What’s making you happiest recently? :) my boyfriend!!

49: Tell me a really obscure fact you know. it’s illegal to tie giraffes to poles in certain parts of California

55: Favorite food for every color of the rainbow. interesting. Red-strawberries. Orange-um oranges lmao. Yellow–pasta!. Green–peas. Blue–this has to be blueberries right? like you’re kidding. Purple-there’s definitely no purple food, fuck you. Pink–shrimp

56: If you were a poltergeist where would you haunt and what would be your preferred style of prank? I’d haunt my old college dorms and steal people’s food right after they cooked it mwahaha

60: Dragons, dinosaurs, or aliens? DRAGONS

62: Insult the asker of this question creatively. Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elderberries.

63: In an ideal world, what would you like done with your body after you die? I’d like to made into a tree!! :)

66: What are the three traits you value the most in others? Consideration, Compassion, Appreciation

69: Answer number 60 like it was a “fuck, marry, kill” rhetorical. now THAT is a good question haha. Um if it can be dragon/dinosaur/alien of my choosing then I’ll fuck the alien (*cough allura cough*), marry a dragon (probably from Dragon Tales), and kill the dinosaur cause it’s already dead

74: If you were a superhero, what would be your one weakness? literally just children. like I’m so bad. bring a kid into the picture and I’ll do anything.

75: Describe a weird encounter you had with a bug. So my older sister has arachnophobia, went downstairs once and just screamed and ran back up. Figuring it would be a little house spider my little sister goes down stairs to kill it, screamed and went back up. So me, with no fear of spiders, went down and, to my surprise, saw a spider the size of my hand and like an inch thick. No way was I putting my hand near that thing. So I ran upstairs to grab the vacuum, actually scared for once. I held up the hose like my sword and the vacuum as my shield as my sisters cowered behind me. After a deep breath I dove and sucked up the spider in one fell swoop! For a moment I was relieved until my younger sister just mutters “what if crawls out…” so now I finally start screaming, run upstairs and put the vacuum out on the deck, slam the door, and wait for my dad to get home. The end.

[3one3]

The Sequel - 887

An Hour And Two Halves

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea/BVB players, and random awesome OC’s (okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

“Show you what I can do, and you know it’s true, when I dance with you,” Christina sang along quietly with the song on the radio while she chopped carrots for her stew. It was a Joe Jonas song she didn’t even particularly like, but it was upbeat and bouncy and she was in a great mood. The vibe got bigger and louder as the chorus approached, and she was so ready for it. The rider dropped her knife on the plastic cutting board and dramatically flung her hand out at her sous chef, who was cutting green beans. “”Oh-oh-oh-oh, give me your haaaaand,” she sang loud and proud and with a silly face. “Oh-oh-oh-oh, I’ll be who I aaaaam. Oh-oh-oh-oh I ain’t no...Michael Jackson, but give me one chance, one chance to daaaance. Give me, one chance, one chance, to daaaance.” Juan didn’t offer his hand, so she just hopped around him in her energetic, extremely-non-Michael-Jackson-esque way. Her stew-making process was riddled with work interruptions for dancing and animated singing. Despite the midfielder’s disinterest in letting her drag him around his kitchen dancing to Top 40, he found her behavior amusing, and hilarious even at times. Her dramatic and extremely relevant interpretation of Justin Bieber’s “Friends” had him doubled over laughing. When it was over, they agreed that they were evidence for broken up couples everywhere that they can’t still be friends. Christina stopped singing and dancing to make out with him after the third “But we had something so good” line, so it really was pretty self-evident.

“What’s next, cariña?” Juan asked when her dancing took her back to her knife work and he was finished with his.

“Nada. Everything is finished. We put the potatoes in in an hour, and then the rest of the veggies half an hour after that, and then half an hour after that, we eat.” The beef was already simmering away in a big pot of stock, wine, herbs, and onions. He laughed at the chef when her eyes had the typically bad reaction to chopping all the onions too. Their whole cooking project was mostly Juan laughing at Christina, and Christina loving it.

“What do you want to do for an hour and two halves?”

“I’m not really sure, but I know I want to go for a walk after dinner. I miss the smell of London on a fall night sooooooo bad.” She turned her bottom lip over in an exaggerated pout and used her big knife to slide the carrots into the bowl with the beans. “Do you have any ideas?” The Spaniard took both the knife and the small cutting board to rinse in the sink with the ones he used.

“One.”

“Your penis is never going to be in my colon.”

“I want to read a poem to you, from the book.”

“Oh jesus,” the Olympic medalist groaned at the Olympic failure whose token of failure she kept in her book as a reminder of his belief in her ability to avoid failure. There was an unrealized connection between all of those things. The two athletes borrowed a variety of types of strength from each other, and they cultivated that borrowable strength in their own ways- alike, but different. The rider collected takeaways from her history books, and fed her imagination with her mysteries. The footballer collected food for thought from more abstract texts, like the collection of poems she gave him. Books and mutual intellectual stimulus would always bind them.

“It’s very good and you’ll really...relate to it.”

“Is it going to take an hour and two halves?” Christina asked, reluctantly consenting with her body language if not her actual language.

“No.”

“Fiiiiine. I want to hear the end of this Mikky Ekko song though.” She turned around and backed herself up to the small island counter, preparing to hoist herself up on it. Sometimes she was too lazy or tired to do it all on her own, and opened up a big bottom cabinet to step into for a boost. Then she could use her foot to close it again once seated. Juan always complimented her creativity in the matter. She intended to do it on her own on Sunday, and clamped her hands on the counter. He noticed as he was drying his hands, and dropped the towel to lend some help. His hands grasped her waist and lifted her the extra couple of inches she needed on top of her little hop, and he kept them there even after her butt landed safely. He held onto her to keep her from sliding back, so that she had to spread her legs to make space for him in between, and so that she was right up close to his body.

“I lied before.”

“Bout what?”

“I have two ideas for the hour and two halves.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I hope the second idea involves dragons,” the girl in leggings deadpanned to the boy between her legs. She also casually hung her wrists over his shoulders and passively kicked the backs of his thighs with her heels.

“I can’t wait for your birthday. I’m going to give you the biggest dragon-themed party anyone has ever seen,” the Spanish player laughed, with the same delight in the glint in his eye that had been there all through her dance-cooking. “Every little boy will be jealous.”

“Can it be a costume party? Will you be dressed as a knight? Or is this a Thrones-type dragon party? You would totally be a Stark.”

“We’ll have to see. I have some time to plan.”

“What’s your other idea for an hour and two halves?”

“I want to photograph you- exactly like this,” Juan hastened to add the second Christina’s face turned disapproving. “Exactly the way you’ve been here all afternoon. Just for myself, not the walls, or your Instagram, or a magazine.”

“Aww.” Spanish Teddy Bear is the sweetest, she cooed to herself. I thought he meant naked, and that he was going to try to say he wanted to do a “tasteful” thing instead of something pornographic, which is just what dudes say when they want you to feel classy and glamorous about being pornographic. It’s nice of him too to acknowledge that he recognizes how done I am with being photographed for other people right now, and even for my own social media. I haven’t posed anything with myself in a couple of weeks, because I’m sick of looking at myself, to be honest. I’m sick of hearing about myself too. One of the nice things about weeks and weeks without horse shows is not having to hear about me. I’m so fucking sick of me. Last night was too much about me. I want to crawl back under my rock until Doha. But I can be photographed for him, because that’s adorable. Especially since I don’t even look cute right now, I don’t think.

“Hopefully you don’t think too hard after I read the poem,” he snorted. “That would ruin the picture.”

“Ugh, do we have to?”

“Yes. I’ll go get the book.”

Juan didn’t have far to go. Much to Christina’s surprise, her gift to him was right on the footstool-table next to the chaise by the window. That meant he was actively reading it, at least part-time. That was where he kept the current book when it wasn’t traveling with him for a match, or when he wasn’t reading it in bed. She figured he was reading a novel that he would have taken to Chelsea Harbour with him on Friday night since she didn’t notice him put the Frank Bidart poems in his reading nook after the game on Saturday. On occasion, she had a “travel” read and a “home” read going on at the same time too- a practice she learned from the player. He said it helped him get his head into the right lane. The “travel” read, regardless of type, was for shifting focus away from everyday life to the match. He told Christina that it was especially helpful during the busy parts of the season when the team played every 3 or 4 days. The “home” read signaled the shutoff of football and the time to relax and recharge. The first kind tended to be more inspirational, like an autobiography, and the second variety was most often a work of fiction.

They met in the middle. Christina sat sideways on the sofa, Indian-style, and then collapsed backward to enjoy the stretching that position provided and also the offered focal point- the ceiling. Looking at the matte white ceiling was definitely preferable to making her expression available for his purposes during or after the reading of the poem. He sat by her legs and put his socked feet up on the coffee table. Without preamble, he began the poem.

“Advice to the Players. There is something missing in our definition, vision of a human being: the need to make. We are creatures who need to make. Because existence is willy-nilly thrust into our hands, our fate is to make something- if nothing else, the shape cut by the arc of our lives. My parents saw corrosively the arc of their lives. Making is the mirror in which we see ourselves. But being is making: not only large things, a family, a book, a business: but the shape we give this afternoon, a conversation between two friends, a meal. Or mis-shape. Without clarity about what we make, and the choices that underlie it, the need to make is a curse, a misfortune. The culture in which we live honors specific kinds of making (shaping or mis-shaping a business, a family) but does not understand how central making itself is as manifestation and mirror of the self, fundamental as eating or sleeping. In the images with which our culture incessantly teaches us, the cessation of labor is the beginning of pleasure; the goal of work is to cease working, an endless paradise of unending diversion. In the United States at the end of the twentieth century, the greatest luxury is to live a life in which the work that one does to earn a living, and what one has the appetite to make, coincide- by a kind of grace are the same, one. Without clarity, a curse, a misfortune. My intuition about what is of course un-provable comes, I’m sure, from observing, absorbing as a child the lives of my parents: the dilemmas, contradictions, chaos as they lived out their own often unacknowledged, barely examined desires to makes. They saw corrosively the shape cut by the arc of their lives. My parents never made something commensurate to their will to make, which I take to be, in varying degrees, the general human condition- as it is my own. Making is the mirror in which we see ourselves. Without clarity, a curse, a misfortune. Horrible the fate of the advice-giver in our culture: to repeat oneself in a thousand contexts until death, or irrelevance. I abjure advice-giver. Go make you ready.”

“It’s remarkable how you managed to conjure a poem that hits on me missing my family at the same time as my need to figure out what’s next in my life and then also the way you’re “making” with the mirror, with Common Goal,” the very impressed rider commented after giving all the words a moment to land. Every stanza felt immediately relevant to her, and she wanted to make sure Juan understood that she got it all. “My parents were the work to not work people, and they tried to make a business and a family, and never made their own likeness, or what they truky wanted to make. Like, I think my mom would rather have owned her own knitting store than been who she was. You and I are the lucky ones who get paid to make the thing we want to make, or our likeness, mirror image, whatever. But then we kind of grow out of that and we realize what we need to make is actually bigger than football and riding. For you, it’s Common Goal. And the weirdness and equilibrium I experience on and off right now is me trying to figure out what exactly it is I want to make next. And at the same time, I think you and I are kind of making our combined mirror reflection together too...” It all came out so quickly as her mind linked the ideas for the second time, and as she got more excited about them. “Did you think of those things when you first read it, or did it stay with you for a little while and the relevance came later?”

“Right away. From the title, I thought, “This is an important thing for me to read. This is about me, in some ways,” and then I read on and I thought, “This is Chris’ parents, and this is why their relationship was how it was, and why her mum resents her so much. Chris makes the thing she needs to make from inside. Mrs. Martin made the thing she thought she was supposed to.” And I liked the repetitive lines. “Without clarity, a curse, a misfortune.” I try now to have clarity when I make decisions. No lies, no confusion. You’re right,” he smiled as his friend peeked over at him from the flat of her back. “I do feel like I’m making the right thing now, besides football. I like this poem very much.”

“Thank you for sharing it,” she smiled back. “Sorry I objected. I should know to trust you by now,” she chuckled. He grabbed her wrist when she lifted it for help, and pulled her back up and forward so that she could reward him with a sweet kiss in the middle of his lips. They could have dissected the poem together, quite happily, for the two hours before dinner. It just wasn’t necessary. They didn’t need to talk each other into believing their take, or dissect it. Knowing that was sort of novel. Christina appreciated it.

“I have enjoyed the book a lot. It was a good choice, cariña.”

“I enjoy your face a lot.” She put her hands around the back of the player’s neck, paused to watch for the flattery’s impact to arrive in his beautiful blues, and then pulled on him until he got the message that she wanted him to lie beside her, not just be annoying and hang on his neck. He went pretty willingly, and she got more of her arms around his head when they found a comfortable spot together, and she rubbed her right leg on his bare ones until it pushed her leggings up her calf a little. “I know you want to take pictures of me acting like I live here,” she teased knowingly. “But I’d rather be a lazy bum on the couch.” Juan’s nose was captured playfully between her teeth until he kissed her chin. He found an unexpectedly ticklish spot, and took advantage when Christina’s shiver-like reaction brought her midsection even closer to him. He hugged her waist tight with one arm.

“We’re getting closer to the part of the season when I’m a lazy bum on the couch a lot,” he told her while she played absently with the hair at the back of his head, well below the thinning spot. “I hope you’re joining often.”

“I want to stay here for most of the week of the horse show. Schü and Lukas are coming for the Sunday and Monday, and Tuesday, after, so we’ll stay at a hotel, but I’ll be here for 6 days before that. I don’t know if you want an extra bum on your couch for that long.”

“It’s a sexy bum, so I want,” the Chelsea man smiled, squeezing her butt.

“I might want to come for New Year’s too, but I dunno yet. I have no idea, really.” I also kind of want some magical night with Schü. I owe him that, and I want it anyway. I want special with him. We never have that anymore. We have nice nights ended early because of dead goldfish, and then two nights of crying until midnight because of the dead goldfish. How dare the goldfish go and die when it knew Lukas liked to watch him in the light from his nightlight when he wakes up in the night and can’t sleep? How dare he leave him with no soothing thing to watch. IIIIII didn’t know he did that, but surely the goldfish knew.

“You’re always welcome with me, baby girl.” Juan rubbed his nose on the rider’s and then kissed her, long and low-energy, and perfect for the moment. He was finally able to shed the longstanding feeling that their time together was limited, so he was no longer hastening to get his fill of her, and get “through” everything he wanted with her before her next departure. There was a new calmness- a change in behavior dictated by the realization that the clock wasn’t running anymore. Christina was always coming back to him. They didn’t need to have sex in 6 different positions on the first night, or hurry to get from couch-cuddle-flirting to more serious foreplay to actual sex. “Hurry” was relative, of course, because the player’s imperative was subtle, but it was noteworthy by its absence. She watched him for a second, the side of her thumb resting lightly on his cheek, and reflected on that change. I wish I had his ability to settle down in something and believe it’s going the way I want even when I know it will probably change. Thinking too hard about anything was unpalatable in that moment of closeness, and shared breath, and soft pads of fingers on highly personal skin. The equestrian star took her turn to kiss her favorite Blue, mostly on just one side of his mouth because getting to the whole thing would have required her to move her head a little and that was too much. The exact position she was in- literally and figuratively, physically and emotionally- was too perfect to alter either by movement or consideration. His lips were perfect- warm, unblemished by dryness or cracking or even a wrinkle, tense just enough to hold the kiss together, still enough not to interrupt the transfer of love and comfort through that most import line of communication. A kiss like that was practically nothing and almost everything simultaneously. And it was, afterward, symbolic of a cornerstone in recent memory.

“I think I want to tell you something,” Christina whispered after her smooch. Her regular conversational voice was small enough to fit in the very small space between them without even breathing too much air in Juan’s face- something she often took into consideration when snuggling close with anyone- but that voice came with full conviction and confidence and those weren’t the preconditions for what she wanted to say, so all that came out when she opened her mouth was a sweet whisper.

“What?” the Spaniard whispered back teasingly, with a grin, almost like stage-whispering.

“I used to really hate the person I was with you- like because you made me want to do things that hurt Schü, and our relationship has, at times, made it very difficult for me to look after my responsibilities and ride my best, and do the right thing. I loved being with you, but I hated who I was for that,” she explained with a bit more surety. “Now I feel like I’m actually growing and improving myself- I don’t want to say because of you- but with you, together. I’m making decisions that feel good, and I’m finding it easier to be happy and content wherever I am, physically and in a moment. I don’t know- Maybe it’s because the Olympic hurdle is in the rearview now. Maybe that was the big difference. I just don’t think it was. I think it’s you. I’ve said in the past that we are the worst thing for each other. I don’t think so anymore. I think you’re the best thing for me right now.” I didn’t really mean to get so into this, the rider realized, pointer finger on Juan’s chin, which she was staring at instead of the receptive blues she looked into while she talked. I wasn’t going to say that much. I hate when I start trying to tell someone a small thing, or a short thing, and it gets me thinking, and then I can’t stop talking. Now I’m rambling to myself because...who knows. Anyway. “I’m glad you’re coming to Doha too,” she finished after reaching for some kind of period for the declaration, or something to take up some more airtime since Juan wasn’t saying anything.

“I told you we could be happy together and that we can do more than be miserable together. Not miserable together because we’re together, but be together because one or both is miserable about other things. You know what I mean,” the footballer laughed. He was recalling a conversation they fought through years back, right after Lukas was born. Christina didn’t think they could ever be a couple because all of their experience together was when one or both of them was in bad shape because of their other relationships. They were always closest when their lives were the most tumultuous and generally unhappy. “And now you understand how I feel with you,” he added, more sincerely. “I feel good about myself, and happy with myself, with you. I always have, more or less.”

“I think it’s more for you now though. Ever since we stopped lying.”

“That could be.”

“Okay I feel too grown up and in touch with my feelings now. Give me something stupid and immature to talk about.”

“Can I tickle you?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Can I go get the camera and take pictures of you?”

“Can I do goofy poses?”

“Yes.”

“K. I need another kiss first though.”

[thenerdytomboynewb96]

Samantha Allan Park Ch. #8

Any references to TMNT or anything from popular media and culture is NOT MINE. I only own my OC’s.

Chapter #8

Sam hadn’t realized what time it was when she heard a knock on her window. She was in front of her desk where her t.v. sat when to her left at the window was a smiling Michelangelo. A smile also began to grow on her face as she gave him the O.K. symbol and he opened the window. He opened the window and climbed on through, leaning his skateboard against an open space along the wall. “Hey toots, you forget about me already?” She snickered. “Right, because an almost 6 foot turtle is so easy to forget.” “Well you’re the one who left the window closed.” “Not because I forgot about you, I just lost track of time.” “Mhm, right, I see how it is” he teased. “What are you listening to?” “Oh, the song playing right now? It’s called “Obsession” by G-Dragon.” “And that would be?” Sam gave him a wicked smile. “See, if I tell you, then that means you have to allow me to rant on and fangirl for a while, as in I can’t just simply say who he is, you’ll have to listen to the whole story.”   Mikey put his fingers on his chin, jokingly questioning the situation. “Hmmmm, I guess I have the time to listen to your rant.” Sam’s eyes went wide. “REALLY?!” “Really” he smiled. 

Sam then went on to tell Mikey everything she knew about G-Dragon and Big Bang, the music group he was a member[JG1] [JG2]  of. She told him all she knew and even showed him many of their music videos, which eventually lead to her showing him many of their funny moment videos. Within that same hour, Mikey had quickly become a fan of the group. He and his brothers loved listening to new groups and types of music and experimenting with what they did and didn’t like, and right now he definitely liked this group. “So, do you like older groups and songs? Since according to this Wikipedia page, the album with this song came out in 2009.” “Well, with this album specifically I just love a lot of the songs and the uniqueness to them, like it’s hard to believe that these songs came out in 09. But I’ll honestly admit that I’m all over the place when it comes to knowing songs, groups, and individual members and who and what belongs where. I’m a fan of some groups who have been around for a while, but I’m also a fan of some more ‘recent’ groups. Like I love Super Junior who debuted in 2005, but lately I’ve been focusing on BTS a lot more than anyone else.” “I guess you’ll introduce me to those groups another day then?” Sam smiled, if he held true to his comment, then that meant there would be more days where the two would be hanging out. “Yea haha, I don’t want my fangirling to scare you away so soon.” “Well, how about I introduce you to a group that I’m a fan of then?” “Alright, sounds fair. I’ve done my fangirling, now you show me who you fanboy over.” He laughed. “Since you’ve introduced me to an Asian group, I’ll continue that trend.” He currently was sitting on the bean bag chair which he had moved closer to the bed as the two had been watching and dancing to music videos that Sam was streaming on her television. Sam tossed her phone down to Mikey who began typing, and soon a music video popped up, one that ironically was familiar to Sam. “Oh, I know this song!” “NO WAY! You listen to One Ok Rock?!” “Not religiously, but I know some songs, this one being my favorite.” The two then sang along with and danced to “The Beginning” by One Ok Rock, followed by more partying to multiple other songs by the same group.

“This is awesome!” Sam then plugged her phone in as the battery was getting low. “No one EVER has the same music interests as me, and when I show them the music I like, they just brush it off like it’s horrible just because it’s in another language.” “Well not this guy!” he said with excitement. “I’ll give anything a shot!” He then looked over at the television and noticed that the DVD player had the words “PAUSE” across it. “Hey Sam, what were you doing before I got here?” She looked in the same direction he was. “I was going to start watching the beginning of a new movie that I’ve been dying to see.” “What movie?” “Naruto: The Last Movie.” Mikey gasped and clapped his hands to his cheeks. “You have it on DVD?! Is it subbed or dubbed?!” “Dubbed.” “HOW DID YOU GET IT?! I’ve wanted to watch it but I wanted to watch it on t.v. and not on a computer screen.” She laughed. “I put in a request at the library forever ago and finally it was my turn to take it home.” “Can…can we watch it now?” he asked timidly. “Oh my god yes! Like I would love to watch it with someone else. I was going to secretly watch it by myself and pretend I was watching it for the first time once I finally got to watch it with Jay, but this would be way more fun!” “Sweet!” he shouted as he ran over to the bed, halting right before he was about to leap onto it. Sam tilted her head in confusion. “What’s wrong? I just showered a few hours ago.” He rapidly shook his head. “No that’s not why I stopped you smell fine! Just, I didn’t want to just sit on your bed or assume that I’m allowed to or anything and I just don’t want to be rude and…yea.”

Sam gave him a blank face and then goofily scooted over while maintaining the same expression, leaving an open space on the other side of the bed. She then put her left arm out and raised her eyebrows at him. He stared at her in disbelief. “…Me?” She gave him a puzzled look with a smile. “Who else? Just take your shoes off.” “What’s wrong with my shoes?” “They touch the ground.” “So?” “I don’t want dirt on my bed!” she laughed. He shrugged. “Fair enough” he said as he kicked off his shoes and sat down next to her.

The two then watched the movie, every once in a while making comments about how much they shipped NaruHina, or cracking some type of joke about the film.

Mikey pointed towards the screen. “Hey look! Sasuke is in the film for a whole ten seconds!” Then later on it was her turn. “Look! He’s in the film for another ten seconds!” The two hadn’t realized how late it was until after the film had ended.

Sam frowned. “Dang, its 12a.m. already. I need to get to sleep so I can wake up at a decent time tomorrow for school.” “I guess that means I have to wait until the weekend to see you again, right? Because every night will be a school night?” “Um, actually, I usually don’t have a lot of homework each night, and it isn’t AP testing season just yet, so most nights I’ll be able to hangout. Sadly you’d have to come over kind of late most nights though, and you would have to leave kind of early as well.” Sam rubbed the back of her neck. “I doubt you want to make the trip up here just to have to leave so soon.” Playfully, he gave her a confused look. “Did you book me for events that I don’t know about?” “You would come all the way up here just to hangout for a couple of hours?” “Totally dude, you’re really chill and easy and fun to talk to. The only issue is if my brothers need me. Like if there’s a Foot clan attack somewhere, then I need to be there stopping them with my bros.” Sam was shocked. “You guys fight the Foot huh? That’s insane, in a good way of course. You have a phone of any kind?” Mikey reached into his right pocket and pulled out what looked like a hand-sized turtle shell. When he pressed a button on the flat side of the shell, a screen turned on. “Donnie made these for us, we call them shell cells. They pretty much work like regular cell phones.” Sam took the phone, impressed with its design. It would be cool to talk to the nerdy brother, but she knew that would never happen. Sam then began looking for a ‘contacts’ app to click on in order to prevent herself from thinking about how the other brothers had treated her a few nights previous. She entered her number into the phone and then used it to call her own phone. After a few seconds, her phone began to ring. “Alright, now we can communicate with each other. If the other doesn’t pick up when they’re sent a message, then we know that they’re busy.” Mikey’s face then displayed a mischievous smile. “Heh, now I have two girls phone numbers” he said, putting two thumbs up. Sam responded with pursed lips while slowly shaking her head. “Wow, such a player. Two whole girls.” “Hey! For a turtle who lives in the sewers, that’s pretty good!” She laughed. “Yea I guess so. Well, hopefully see you tomorrow?” He held up his phone. “I’ll be waiting for that text. Unless time gets away from you again.” “*sigh* you’re never going to let me live that down now, are you?” “Nope! Goodnight!” he said with a smile as he opened the window and climbed through, and that fast he was gone. As Sam turned off the lights in her room, she hoped that she would be able to see her friend again the next night, and she wondered if he thought of her as a friend as well.

The rest of that week, Sam and Mikey had continued to meet up with each other. Even on Wednesday and Thursday when there had been some gangs trying to rob a few banks and the turtles had stopped them late into the night, Mikey still stopped by for a few minutes to let his new friend know he was alright, and also just to say hi. It was now Friday night and Mikey was heading over to her house once again. At this point his brothers didn’t even ask him where he was off to, they just hoped that he wasn’t doing anything stupid.

For most of that first week their wishes had been answered since the new friends had just been hanging out at Sam’s apartment the whole time. Jay was rarely there, so the two were able to venture around the rest of the apartment and not just the one bedroom. On Monday the two had an intense nerf gun battle after Mikey had learned how to secretly add healthier ingredients to his pizza and then helped Sam bake a few batches of cookies. On Tuesday, Mikey helped Sam work on some projects she needed to complete for the many clubs she was a member of in the kitchen where they had more table space, and on Wednesday and Thursday the two played video games on the larger television in the living room with the little time they had. He assumed that tonight would be no different, but he was shocked when he climbed through the open window and saw that Sam was completely dressed with a small back pack on her back. He knocked on the side of the wall. Sam turned around and smiled. “Ayeee.” “Hey, you going somewhere?” “WE are going somewhere, yes. Thank you for asking.”

Sam was wearing a long sleeve dark red shirt and navy blue track sweatpants with a beanie on her head sporting the same colors. In her back pack was her basic necessities, her tonfa, a phone and tablet, her camera detector, and attached to the back was her skateboard. “Uhhhh” Mikey said in a confused high pitched tone “I can’t really go anywhere, ever.” Sam was confused. “Why not? You’re a ninja right?” “Yea, but I still look like this” he said as he held up his hand and wiggled his three fingers. “Well, blend in with the shadows like you usually do.” “Where are we going anyway? And why?” “We’ve been meeting up in the same apartment building all week. It’s been fun, but it’s Friday night! Who wants to stay locked up at home on a weekend night?” “Me, which is what I’ve been doing all my life.” “Well, you’re friends with me now, so you don’t have to do that any…more…” Sam was confused as to why the turtle in front of her was just staring blankly at her. She then realized for the first time since they had met that one of them had officially called the other a friend. She paused, afraid that he might want to run off now that she had given a title to their relationship, but to her amusement he just turned around and shouted “Alright lead the way!”

Sam fought to conceal her smile as she realized his reaction was one of amazement and joy. She was still getting used to the fact that this new friendship made him as happy as it had made her.

Theme: Marshmello-Ritual

Mikey climbed out the window and then jumped onto a ladder on the building across from where he was. He slid down the ladder and was waiting on the ground for Sam when he heard his phone go off. He read the message: Hey I’m up top. Where are you?”

“What?...” He looked up and saw Sam waving her hand over the side of the top of the building. He pulled his board from off his back and hopped on as he used it to glide up to the top of the building.

“What are you doing up here?” he asked once he reached the top of the building. “Waiting for you! What were you doing down there? Hmph, and you were the one worried about getting caught” she said as she shook her head. Michelangelo looked around, wondering how the heck they were going to move around when they were so high up. Wait…she couldn’t mean…

“Are we jumping buildings?” he asked with wide eyes. “Try to keep up!” she shouted as she ran forward. “Sam, wait!” But before he could say anything to her, she had already run and leaped over to the next building. She skid to a stop once she stuck her landing on the roof. She looked over and smiled towards her friend, waiting for him to come join her. Quickly he ran over and with ease he jumped onto the same roof, but he was furious rather than happy. “What the heck was that? Are you crazy?” Her smile faded. “No, maybe when I first started doing this yes, but it’s easy now. I mean not as easy as it is for you since you’re taller than me, and ripped, but it’s still a lot easier than it used to be haha.” “You…you’ve done this before? For how long?” “About four years. I’m on my own a lot now, so I have to go find fun things to do on my own, that and being alone has increased my adrenaline seeking tendencies. That’s pretty much the main reason I met you guys in the first place.” Mikey was shocked, both about the fact that there was still so much he didn’t know about this girl and also at how much she could do. He knew his brothers were right about her being able to do things that no normal person usually could. Was all that she had learned really taught to her in a self-defense class? Then again, maybe there was just a lot more to the story than he knew. Either way, he still wanted to be friends with this girl and he hoped that maybe one day he would know all the details as to how she was who she was, but for now he just wanted to help make sure she got to wherever their destination was safely.  

“Alright, lead the way. But I’m literally going to be right behind you! Okay?” She nodded. “Gotcha!” Sam was happy that he trusted her and wasn’t questioning her about her past while being protective of her at the same time. “Here, we’ll be heading in this direction for a while” and with that Sam ran ahead and leaped from roof top to roof top.

For about 20 minutes the two constantly moved along the rooves of many of the buildings throughout the city. A few times there were moments where the two had to climb up or down, but overall they kept moving at a constant quick paced rate. Finally they reached a shorter building that was in a more vacant location in the city. Mikey wasn’t sure what exactly this building was for or why they were there, but he was assuming that Sam’s huge smile meant that something fun was in store for them.

Sam walked over to a vent and pulled open the cover. She waved her friend over and then she slipped down inside the tunnel of the vent. She pushed her hands and feet against the sides of the vent and slowly began moving down the tunnel. She would slide her feet down some, then her hands, and she continued to alternate until she was at the bottom of the tunnel. She turned back to see if Mikey was following her. He looked confused, but he was still patiently trailing behind her. She then began crawling forward, and for a few minutes or so the two continued to follow this pattern. Eventually Sam stopped and then pulled her phone out of her back pack.

“Hey, why did we stop?” “We’re above the room that controls all the security cameras throughout this building. I need to set all the cameras back a couple of hours so that no one knows we were ever here. Don’t worry it will only take a few minutes and then we’ll be free to move around.” He laughed. “You literally sound like Donnie right now.” “Then that means your brother must be a genius.” “Oh he is! Like he would probably freak out if he was able to talk to someone about tech stuff like this.” Sam chuckled, but she knew that would never happen. As much as she would also love to talk to someone else about technology, she knew that Donnie wanted as little to do with her as possible, just like all the remaining brothers did. But she shook her head and ignored these thoughts and went back to focusing on hacking into the buildings security system and editing the camera footage. “Alright, time to move on. Just a bit further and then we can get out of this vent.” The two crawled forward a bit more and finally Sam opened up one of the covers in the vent. She crawled forward and turned around to face Mikey who was cautiously staying still. “What’s wrong?” she asked with concern. “Won’t there be people wondering around? I can’t be seen, I can’t risk exposing my brothers and putting my family in danger…” Sam crouched down so that she was at eye level with her friend who was still in the vent tunnel. “So I’ve been on my own for a long while now, and I’ve explored A LOT of different places, including this one. For four years I’ve snuck in here on weekend nights. One of the reasons being that I thought the prices for a membership here are ridiculous, and the other being that I’ve never had someone to bring with me. Within the four years that I’ve been sneaking in here I’ve learned that the owner closes this place early each night at about 7:00 because he doesn’t want teenagers wrecking the place, since apparently young people go crazy at nighttime according to him, which honestly isn’t an inaccurate thought. I mean some of the kids from school that come here are freaking insane. Anyway, the owner’s house is located further towards the center of the city and it would take him a long time to get out here. Plus, since we’re not in a huge crime ridden area and also since the owner doesn’t really keep any money here, there’s no security outside, only during work hours when this place is open. I’ve scoped this place out hung out here countless times and” as she knocked on the wall “I’ve yet to get caught. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t bring you here if there was a high chance of your identity being exposed.” Mikey looked up at her and smiled. He was grateful that she had put so much thought into their get together, and this also helped him in feeling more comfortable with her and in gaining his trust.

As he crawled out of the vent and stood up, his jaw dropped as he finally got to look around and see where they were. The building was much larger than just this room when looking at it from the outside which meant that there had to be many other rooms besides the one they were in, but at that moment the two friends were standing inside a huge indoor skate park. Mikey couldn’t believe his eyes. As much as he loved to skate board, he had never gotten a chance to go to an actual skate park. The only way he was ever able to practice was by skating along the rounded walls and along the pipes in the sewers underground, but this place was obviously a million times better. “Woooooow, this place is incredible!” “Heh, I had a feeling you’d like it.” “So, are you going to show me your awesome moves?” She gave him a blank stare. “Uhhh, I like to skate and stuff, but I’m no Tony Hawk or Rob Dydrek. Honestly I’ve always been more of a speed skater, I don’t really know how to do tricks or anything.” “Well guess who has two thumbs and is super freaking awesome at everything related to skateboarding…THIS GUY!” he shouted as he pointed his thumbs to himself. “Alright then Mr. Super freaking awesome, show me watcha got.” “Oh I accept that challenge ma’am!”

He then grabbed his board and began skating all throughout the various vert and mini ramps throughout the park. He quickly went around and started doing all types of tricks. Sam knew a few tricks, but honestly she had no idea what the heck any of them were called, she just practiced some stuff she saw online until she got more comfortable with it. As the two skated around, they would talk as they happened to pass each other or as they stalled on the ramps.

Sam rolled up to the top of one of the ramp and stayed still while balancing on the nose of the board. “Hey, what happened to not knowing any tricks?” Mikey asked as he rolled up and performed the same pose next to her, and then rolled off. Sam made a confused face. “This is a trick? All I did was stop at the top of the ramp” she stated as she followed behind him. “Yea, but stopping at the top of the ramp has a name, that one was called a nose stall.” “Oh, so this is a nose stall?” She did the same thing, but this time she stopped on the tail of the board. “No, that one’s a tail stall, see?” as he followed behind her and repeated the same move that she just had. “I honestly don’t see a difference.” “The first time you stopped on the nose of the board, this time you stopped on the tail. Does that make sense?” He demonstrated a few more times and eventually she finally understood. “Okay, then does this have a name?” She then skated to the top of the ramp and stopped with the middle part of the bottom of the board staying on the ramp. Mikey rolled up and did the same thing. “Axle stall.” The two rolled off. Sam watched as Mikey was able to hop and get his board off the ground. “Does hopping have a name to?” Mikey then repeated the move. “That one was an ollie, because I used the tail of the board to jump off the ground.” “Oh, oh! Okay watch this then.” Sam then hopped off the ground, but this time she did so using the nose of the board. “Let me guess, was that a nollie?” He gave her two thumbs up as he rolled by her. “There you go!” She then watched as he rolled up to the top of a ramp and then flip the board around before riding back down. “That was a pivot right?” He shook his head and smiled. “Nope! Kick-flip!” as he went up another ramp and did the same thing. “Nice try though.” “Hmmmm okay, let me guess the name of this one.” She then rolled up to a rail and glided across using the bottom of the board. “That was grinding, right?” Again Mikey smiled as he shook his head. “No, THIS-” as he rolled up to the adjacent rail and glided across using the axles of the board “-Is grinding. What you did was a rail slide.” She threw her hands up in confusion. “What’s the difference?” He stopped his board and faced her. “You glided across using the deck, I used the axles.” “…what’s the deck?” He laughed. “It’s just another term for the board itself. Try to grind again.” Sam then rolled up and used the back axle to glide across the rail. Mikey cheered for her. “There you go!” Sam looked over at him and smiled. “So, would that be a tail grind? Since I used the back axle?” “There’s no such thing as a tail grind!” he laughed “That was a 5-0 grind.” “Oh okay, so then this-” as she rolled up and used the underside of the tail of the board to glide across the rail “is called a 5-0 slide, right?” Mikey couldn’t keep himself from laughing as he shook his head. “Tail slide!” “Then what is a 5-0 slide?” “That doesn’t exist!” “OH MY GOD I’M DONE!” she yelled playfully as she threw her hands up in the air. “Dude, how do you know how to do all this stuff but you don’t know any of the terminology?” “I don’t know, I just go with the flow I guess. Like when people teach themselves how to play an instrument but they don’t actually know all the note names.” “Fair enough, but what happened to not knowing any tricks? You’ve already demonstrated a bunch of them!” “I didn’t really consider these tricks, I feel like tricks are way more complicated.” “Heh, I can’t wait to hear what you think the complicated moves are named.” “I REPEAT I’M DONE!” she playfully shouted, and just as she did so, her board slid out from under her. She stumbled and fell back, but they both were able to see her board go flying straight up into the air and then land perfectly right into a bag-less trash can. “Goalllllll!” she shouted! “Ayeee cowabunga!” he shouted as he sat down at the top of one of the mini ramps. She looked over at him as she quickly ran up the ramp to retrieve her board. “Cowabunga?” “Yea! Got a problem with it? And if you do, then you’re as bad as Raph!” She gave him a serious yet still playful look. “Okay listen up. 1. I don’t have a problem with it, it was just random as hell. 2. Gee, thanks for the compliment” she said in a sarcastic tone. “1. You’re welcome! 2. I take random as a compliment ma’am.” “Well then you’re also welcome for your compliment, sir. What is with guys and weird sayings anyway?” “What other weird sayings are you used to?” “Whenever my younger brother scored playing sports or if he got the new high score in a video game, he would always scream ‘booyakasha.’ What the hell is that?!” Mikey burst out laughing which lead him to fall and roll down into the center of the ramp. “Dude your younger brother sounds amazing!” Sam rolled her eyes and smiled as she pulled her board out of the bin it had landed in.

For the next two hours the two friends continued to skate around, occasionally teasing Sam on her lack of knowledge when it came to skateboarding terminology. Once their time was up, the two packed up their belongings and went back to the vent where they had entered the room. They climbed their way back to the vent opening on the roof, making sure to alter all the cameras again before they left. Since neither of the two were really in a rush, they decided to walk back to the apartment, talking the entire way back as they continued to get to know each other. “Hey Sam, when’s your birthday?” “April 4th.” “Oh! So you just recently turned 16 then?” “Yup! How about you? When’s your birthday?” “February 2nd.” “So you’re not that far behind me then. You were born in 99 though, right?” “Yea, how about you?” “98, so I’m not that much older than you guys, oh, assuming that you guys all have the same birthday.” “We do actually. Donnie looked into what he could find from the old files that April could find on us from the TCRI experiments and we all actually are blood related and were born the exact same day and in the order that we thought. When we were kids, there were times when we were curious about whether we all actually were related to each other or not since physically we have similarities, like how me and Leo have the exact same eye color and then Raph’s match Donnie’s spot on, but personality wise each of us are so different. There were also times when we weren’t sure who was actually the oldest. For example, Donnie can sometimes be wise and calm like Leo, plus he’s been the tallest of us four for a long time now, so we all wondered if he could actually be one of the oldest of us four. There were other times where we wondered if Raph was the oldest because he’s always been the strongest. But regardless of these curious thoughts, somehow our instincts helped us know who was really the oldest to youngest, but it was nice to officially know that we are all blood related and the order of our births though.”

Sam smiled as she looked over at him. She was walking along his left side, so she was able to see his left shoulder where his shell tattoo was. “I still can’t believe you have that.” “What?” he said tilting his head to the side. “A tattoo. Like, I just can’t believe you guys learned how to do all that, and they look really good to!” “Dawwww you’re to kind miss.” “Do your brothers have any? And who printed them?” “Oh yeah! Leo has another shell tattoo like this on his right arm, and he also has a tattoo on his left bicep of turtles in a row with lines above and below them. The one on his bicep is a design that he made when he was younger so the design means a lot to him. Raph has a shell tattoo on his shoulder to, but of course the design is a bit different because he had to go be soooo cool and be different, pfftt! Whatever” he said as he rolled his eyes. “Anyway, Raph printed ALL the shell tattoos, but Leo printed the one on his left bicep with a little help from Raph, and I printed the one on my wrist all by myself.” “I guess Donnie doesn’t have any?” “He does actually! He has a smaller shell tattoo like this one on the top of his left shoulder, he just has so much gear on all the time that you can never see it.” “Wow, just from what you’ve told me this past week, I thought he would be a total health freak and wouldn’t let a needle anywhere near his skin.” Mikey chuckled. “You’re spot on when you say that, that’s why he ONLY has the shell tattoo, and it’s the smallest of all four of our shell tattoos. But we’ve all seen the shell tat as a symbol that represents our family, that’s the sole reason he allowed it. The rest of us have at least one other, but he would only allow that one.” “So then what’s the meaning of this one?” I asked as I pointed to the cursive writing on his left wrist. “Honestly that was a mix of me being extremely proud of myself both for learning how to print my own tattoo AND for learning how to write in cursive. Our dad taught us…basically everything we’ve ever really learned, but I was always the last one to really understand anything, so this tattoo was pretty much me rewarding and praising myself for learning the two skills.” “That’s really cool” I said with a beaming smile. “I love hearing stories about meaningful tattoos. Again this is just my personal opinion, but I just don’t get the point in getting a ton of random tattoos, but I think meaningful tattoos are really nice. Ha, is there a reason for your brother branding kanji on his shoulder?” “Oh no that one’s is just him trying to look super cool. Like even Leo who’s all for tattoos thought he was crazy for that one.” We both had to cover our mouths so that we didn’t laugh too loud in the middle of the night. “Does the kanji have a relative meaning to his life or anything at least?” He nodded. “That I can luckily say yes to. It matches the kanji on the top of his bandana.” My eyebrows rose in surprise. “I never realized he had kanji on the top of his head.” “Really? I guess you didn’t notice mine then either.” “No! Where is it?” He stopped and held the end of the left strap of his bandana so that the cloth was flat so that the kanji was visible. “Whoa! I never noticed that until now! Do all four of you have this as well?” “Yup! Leo’s is on the right side near his eyes and it stands for ‘patience,’ Raph’s kanji on his shoulder and on the top of his bandana reads ‘anger’ and the kanji on his right strap reads ‘beast,’ Donnie’s kanji on his left strap stands for ‘bright’ and he also has a small turtle print above it, and then MINE stands for ‘heart’ which I have a lot of because I’m just incredibly amazing. I guess I should also point out that there’s kanji painted on the back of my shell as well.” “NO THERE’S NOT!” “SHHHH!” “Dude…I swear I’ve been living under a rock. How have I not noticed any of this?!” “Because you weren’t looking for it, but now you are!” “Wow, I was not expecting this Psychology 101 type of info today. I was un-prepared.” “Hehe, oh hey there’s a ladder coming up, if you put my board in your bag then I can carry you up.” I nodded as he handed me his board. It was as I was securing his board to the straps on the back of my bag that I noticed the writing on the back of his shell for the first time. I hopped up onto his back as I carefully swung my arms around his neck and held on as he climbed up the ladder to the roof of the building. “So what does it stand for then?” “Mine stands for ‘child,’ a perfect fit for me if I do say so myself” he chuckled. “Mine? So your brothers have spray paint on their shells as well?” “Leo and Raph do. Leo has ‘honor’ painted in blue on his shell, and Raph has ‘family’ in red on the back of his. Hehe, Leo can write in Japanese perfectly, but when it comes to paint he just can’t keep himself from making mistakes, so don’t tell anyone this, but because I had to paint the kanji on Raph’s shell I secretly wrote ‘Mikey’s the best’ in really small Japanese characters in brown on his shell in a really hard to see spot.” “Damn, and I thought branding kanji into your skin was badass, but this totally tops everything you’ve said about your brothers! But don’t worry your secret is safe with me.” As we reached the top of the building, he put me down and put his knuckles out for a fist bump. “Thanks bruh.” I returned the gesture. “Cowabunga!” “Booyakasha!”

It only took a few more minutes and the two had reached the apartment. It had gotten pretty late by the time they returned home, time passing by much quicker since they made the decision to walk home. The last few minutes continued to be filled with nothing but kind and humorous conversation between the two friends, both enjoying the others company. Mikey slowly began to notice that Sam asked a lot more questions and did a lot more listening than making comments about her own family and life, but he also assumed this was because he was a giant mutant turtle. Most people would probably want to talk more about that than everyday life. Once they reached the apartment the two said their goodbyes and decided to call it a night, but both couldn’t wait for the following night, hoping that they would get to hangout and have another great night goofing off together just like they had tonight. 

[junker-town]

NFL Dad, Week 8: Halloween is my daughter’s Super Bowl

Here’s what seven hours of RedZone is like when your two young kids can’t go outside because it’s raining.

As a lazy person, it’s hard to enjoy Halloween. When I was single, the thought and effort that a costume required always made me want to crawl in bed and hide from the holiday. Only the promise of alcohol and sexy costumes lured me into participation.

Kids have changed all that. As a parent, you get to spend WEEKS hyping up your kids for Halloween, brainstorming costume ideas, and talking about candy. The last part is especially fun, because my wife and I deprive our children of candy all year long. Cake? Sure, if there’s a party. A donut? Probably once a week. Ice cream? Well, maybe as a special treat. But candy almost never happens, save for the occasional lollipop at the doctor’s office. Halloween is their Super Bowl.

And even though trick-or-treating is only one night, we are getting some MILEAGE out of this year’s costumes — shark for my son (our choice), ghost for my daughter (her choice). Last Sunday, our friends had a Halloween-themed birthday party. On Friday, our nanny took the kids to a costume party. Monday: another Halloween party. Tuesday: daughter wears costume to school AND we’ve got trick-or-treating that night. I am getting to be a PRO at hand-washing chocolate out of these costumes. And I’m barely a day away from stealing half my kids’ candy after they go to bed Tuesday night.

So much of the parent experience is trading away the things you used to love to do for soul-filling love and constant exhaustion; it’s a surprise and a delight when the trade is suddenly enjoying something you never liked as an adult.

EARLY GAMES, FIRST HALF

— RedZone has seven early games on the docket today, and Scott Hanson shows us the lineup in OCTOBOX format, with the eighth box a weather map of the Eastern seaboard. The forecast: lots of rain.

— It’s raining here in New York, too. I took some photos of my kids in their rain slickers, but I’m not going to share them because my son’s hair looks like Jon Gruden’s. And maybe Gruden’s OK being seen in public with that hair, but I’m going to raise my children better than that.

Maybe Gruden’s OK being seen with that haircut, but I’m going to raise my children better than that.

Incidentally, I took the photos on the way to get his hair cut. I asked for a low fade and the barber gave him a high fade that wasn’t blended very well, so he ended up with the preferred haircut of stylish soccer players and media-savvy Nazis. And let me be crystal clear: My 18-month-old son is not a neo-Nazi. He doesn’t even have a Reddit account.

— The Saints’ Alvin Kamara scores the first touchdown of the day, and I reject this world where Drew Brees relies on a competent running game. THROW FOR 5000 YARDS OR RETIRE!

I like Kamara, though. I’m not messing with anyone whose name is a jiu-jitsu submission.

— I put my daughter down for her nap, and when I come back to the living room, Melvin Gordon is running untouched for an 87-yard TD to give the Chargers an early 7-0 lead over the Pats. I picked the Chargers at +7 today, so this pleases me.

HE WILL GO ALL THE WAY!@melvingordon25. 87 yards to the HOUSE. #Chargers http://pic.twitter.com/mOTI7SKWm9

— NFL (@NFL) October 29, 2017

— I’m a little worried about my daughter’s nap. We’re potty-training her right now — she’s behind schedule, I KNOW, the broken collarbone really set us back — and she wouldn’t pee on the little toddler potty before her nap. She hasn’t peed since we changed her overnight diaper and put her in undies this morning. You can lead a toddler to the potty, but you can’t make her pee.

So my wife and I tell her, “Hey, if you feel you have to go pee-pee, call us and we’ll help you use the potty.” But the last couple days, this has just led to a wet bed and more laundry. YAY, MORE LAUNDRY!

— Wait, we gotta talk about C.J. Beathard’s face. The camera cut to him and he BARELY had more confidence and composure than Bill Paxton in Aliens.

Photo by Elsa/Getty Images

You can smell the fear on him.

— With the score tied at 7 at MetLife, Matt Ryan loses a fumbled snap for the second time today that leads to a Jets field goal. I know it’s raining, but it’s also still the first half. Get your shit together, Falcons. Or don’t, I picked the Jets +4.5.

— Ah, I see the Colts are in the red zone. Time for a nap!

— I open my eyes 24 minutes later, and the only eye-raising change in scoring is in New England, where the Pats have improved from a 7-7 lead to take the lead, 12-7. Apparently, Travis Benjamin crapped his brain out of his butt in the middle of a punt return.

Worth it for the refs signaling safety at the exact same time, though.

— I’m typing today with a Band-Aid on my right index finger, having sliced my fingertip with a pumpkin saw while carving our jack-o’-lantern the night before. No medical attention needed, but I lost a little flap of skin that has me playing through pain today. I’m a gamer, though. Don’t worry about it affecting the column.

— Cincinnati, playing at home against the Colts, has had a lackluster first half, but this Joe Mixon screen is electric.

.@andydalton14 finds @Joe_MainMixon and he nearly goes the distance! #Bengals50 http://pic.twitter.com/saSRSZiC9C

— NFL (@NFL) October 29, 2017

That sets up a short touchdown to A.J. Green to tie the game at 10.

POINT OF ORDER: I will be actively avoiding this game the rest of the afternoon. These teams are butt. Also, I have yet to mention Carolina-Tampa Bay at all today. That is not an accident.

— Josh McCown tosses a gorgeous sideline throw to Robby Anderson, who got past Desmond Trufant. It’s 17-10 Jets, and if they win today I’m calling it: The Falcons are trapped in a body-swap movie.

— This morning I went to church with my family, and this may surprise you, but toddlers aren’t really wired for an hour of Catholic mass. I took the kids out to the adjoining courtyard so they could burn off some steam. The rain had let up but it was still wet, so naturally they both immediately fell on their faces/butts and got soaked.

They kept playing, though. The key feature of the courtyard was a four-foot ramp at a 15- or 20-degree angle. My daughter ran down it repeatedly, each time saying, “I shoot down the slide!” My son is also eager to run down the ramp, but he’s only a year and a half old — he’s barely mastered walking. He’s all desire, no skill.* So I stage at the bottom of the ramp and catch him before he can eat a face full of concrete.

*This sentence also sums up my athletic career after the age of 11.

Every generation has its Ted Ginn.

— The Bills score a defensive touchdown to open up a commanding lead on the Raiders, then Steven Hauschka forces a fumble on the ensuing kickoff. And I saw a lot of love and surprise on Twitter — “Wow! The kicker!” — but not nearly enough people were pointing at the exquisitely talented doofus who fumbled: Cordarrelle Patterson. He can’t do something awesome without disappointing you the following week. Every generation has its Ted Ginn, it seems.

EARLY GAMES, SECOND HALF

— My wife is taking the lead on tonight’s dinner, a pot roast recipe from Ina Garten. Now, I love Ina Garten; she’s a total boss. But if you’re going to try a recipe of hers, know that:

It will require a cut of meat that costs a staggering amount of money. “I go to my butcher and get four pounds of filet...” (Recipe serves 2.)

It will require about 150% of the work in any other cookbook to taste maybe 10% better. Related: Ina Garten does not have children.

She will demand that you use “good olive oil.” It is never just “olive oil.” Ina suspects you have cheap olive oil and a separate bottle of good stuff for special occasions. Guess what, bitch? EVERY INA GARTEN RECIPE IS A SPECIAL OCCASION. Don’t disrespect her art with shitty olive oil!

— Behold, the majesty of a Philip Rivers pump fake:

Let’s check in on Philip Rivers http://pic.twitter.com/MbkDJysXMe

— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) October 29, 2017

Rivers recovered his own fumble (the least he could do after forcing it), and on the very next play, he hucks it downfield. When the ball re-enters the atmosphere, there is one Chargers receiver on the screen, and SIX Patriots defenders.

Next play: Throws into sextuple coverage http://pic.twitter.com/Yhbo2I2EhU

— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) October 29, 2017

I love that intense weirdo SO MUCH. The Philip Rivers Quarterback Experience is like if the star of the debate team also had Tourette’s.

— My wife: “You picked great leeks, Matt.” Hell yeah I did! I have an eye for fine produce. But chopping four leeks and two large onions in a small apartment with all the bedroom doors closed is tough sledding for people with sensitive eyes. I open a window three inches; rain INSTANTLY soaks five children’s books on the sill.

— With the Bears trailing 14-3, Mitchell Trubisky throws to Zach Miller, who makes a great catch for the touchdown! Oh no, Miller stays down. Seems hurt. OH GOD I SAW THE REPLAY. Look away from the TV! Look at the computer! OH GOD I SAW THE GIF. UGHUGHGHHHHHH. (Update: Miller almost lost his leg due to vascular damage. Jesus.)

Dude, I JUST saw Gordon Hayward’s ankle snapped on live TV a few days ago. Hey, sports? Can we go a week or two without maiming someone, please?

AND THEY OVERTURNED THE TOUCHDOWN. WTF, YOU REFS ARE ANIMALS.

If you break your leg on the catch it should be a catch

— Evil Dead 2 Magary (@drewmagary) October 29, 2017

If you break your leg while even vaguely holding onto the ball it should always be ruled a catch

— Pablo S. Torre (@PabloTorre) October 29, 2017

— My daughter calls us, much more urgently than she usually does after her nap. My wife rushes in. Incredibly, my kid held her piss in throughout her nap, and actually used the potty. HUZZAH!

Even more incredibly, she didn’t pee between 7:00 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. NOT GREAT. We’re gonna have to get better about that or next week’s column is gonna be about bladder infections.

— Here’s a cool Alshon Jeffery touchdown:

"GET OFF ME." - @TheWorldof_AJ, probably. Touchdown, @Eagles! #FlyEaglesFly http://pic.twitter.com/aMeckAYr3i

— NFL (@NFL) October 29, 2017

Consider that the shot that puts this one away for the Eagles. And now a 49ers chaser:

Fun stat: 49ers have only won three of their last 27 games, all of them against the Rams.

— Vince Mancini (@Filmdrunk) October 29, 2017

— I have a note that just says, “rasperries and laughter,” but I no longer remember the specific context. I think my daughter was laughing because my son was trying to blow raspberries on her, so I pulled up his shirt and blew raspberries on his stomach, causing him to shriek with laughter. That sounds right, but I could be mixing that up with other memories.

(I should note that in between writing that three-word note and trying to expand it into a paragraph, I watched Texans-Seahawks and Game 5 of the World Series. My brain has been puréed into a sports smoothie with an Adrenaline Boost™. A day later, I only see my two children in the context of lead changes. Great hug! I love THIS one more now!)

— On 3rd and goal, Matt Ryan scrambles to his left and finds Mohammed Sanu at the back of the end zone to give the Falcons a 22-17 lead. Ryan then fumbles the snap on the two-point conversion. Even when the Falcons are winning this year, they do it in the least convincing way possible.

Even when the Falcons are winning, they do it in the least convincing way.

— My wife takes the dog for a walk in the rain, as well as the kettlebell with legs that passes for my younger child. My daughter cuddles next to me on the couch. I put my arm around her and give her context about the teams on the field (“Do you know what a buccaneer is?” —No. “A buccaneer is a pirate”), but mostly, we sit together quietly. This is approximately as content and fulfilled as I can be.

— PERSONAL GAMBLING HELL UPDATE: The Jets, trailing 22-20, are about to get the ball back late in the game and look like excellent candidates to cover the 4.5-point spread. They fumble the punt because they’re the GODDAMN IDIOT JETS. The Falcons OF COURSE kick a field goal to go up by five. New York will have a chance to win the game if they can go 90 yards with no timeouts in 50 seconds, but I don’t need to give you the details on why that doesn’t work out.

The Pats kick a field goal to take an eight-point lead with one minute remaining, and I agonize over the Chargers’ mistakes that will cost them a cover: Benjamin’s idiotic safety, a failed two-point conversion. I am SO happy I don’t put actual money on these games. I would ruin my family.

The Saints have the ball, a five-point lead, and a pressing need for one more score to cover 9 points at home. Stupid Bears. There’s a glimmer of hope after Brees throws a bomb downfield, but shortly after Mark Ingram loses a fumble — his second of the game — and the Bears have a chance to win. (The Bears do not capitalize. The Saints kick a field goal at the end of the game to push the lead to 8. THANKS FOR NOTHING, JERK-ASS.)

— A Bengals defensive lineman makes an incredible play for a pick-6 that gives Cincy the lead. This game is still butt, but at least it’s functionally over.

— Wife and son and dog are back, and I dry my dog off with an old towel. When Stella gets wet, she obsesses over drying off. She gleefully wags her entire body into the towel, and she rubs her face in between my legs to dry her face off.

Yes, a 65-pound dog shoving its face under your crotch is disconcerting.

And in case you’re wondering, a 65-pound dog forcefully shoving her face under your crotch is SUPER disconcerting. I’ve had her for a decade, so I’m used to it now, but she’s also done it to strangers before. It’s a helluva way to meet your neighbors.

— Philip Rivers has no timeouts and a running clock to get a touchdown. And if you thought the self-fumble and sextuple-coverage heave was his two-play highlight of the day, AU CONTRAIRE. T’was merely an appetizer for this delicacy:

Philip Rivers emphatically celebrating a spike with 1 second left is the most Philip Rivers thing I've seen since Week 1 #Chargers http://pic.twitter.com/SOXBeKM78I

— Clay Wendler (@ClayWendler) October 29, 2017

The next and final play is an interception floated into the arms of a Pats defender. In fact, there seem to be about five Patriots closer to making a play on the ball than the nearest Charger.

Philip Rivers losing it dot gif http://pic.twitter.com/oSpwAlCBPX

— Vikings Blogger (@firstandskol) October 29, 2017

I’m gonna miss that guy when he’s gone.

LATE GAMES, FIRST HALF

— With six teams on bye, there are only two late games for RedZone to toggle between: Texans-Seahawks and Cowboys-Washington. They’re good games, but at some point I’d almost prefer a commercial break to Scott Hanson narrating sponsored highlights. “No commercials here on RedZone! And now for Fantasy Feedback, presented by Genesis.”

— As a Seahawks fan, I’m cautiously optimistic about today. I think the offense will perform well, and the run defense can bottle up Lamar Miller. I expect DeAndre Hopkins to win a couple battles versus Richard Sherman, but over the course of the game, I expect the defense and crowd to be a little too much for a rookie quarterback, even one as good as Deshaun Watson.

My biggest concern early is actually Will Fuller. If the Texans can get him the ball early, before the Seahawks have a chance to adjust to how fast he is ... oh look, RedZone’s flipping to Seattle now.

.@deshaunwatson goes DEEEEEP. And @Will_Fuller7 gets behind the LOB for SIX. #Texans http://pic.twitter.com/vDFvZPVeiG

— NFL (@NFL) October 29, 2017

CRAP.

— The Texans continue to movie the ball with ease, but on 3rd and 10 with the Texans in field goal range, Earl Thomas jumps a route and takes it for six the other way.

Know where @Earl_Thomas is on the field at ALL times... PICK-6. #Seahawks #LOB http://pic.twitter.com/j4EZXZHlMs

— NFL (@NFL) October 29, 2017

Any time there’s an interception in the secondary, the analysts always say how the defensive back read the quarterback’s eyes. But there’s more to it than that:

Texans lined up Hopkins in the slot to get Sherman in space, Thomas had a pretty strong idea of where the ball was going.

— Bill Barnwell (@billbarnwell) October 29, 2017

Earl Thomas benefits from instincts and speed that most safeties would kill for, but he’s not just reading a quarterback’s eyes. Formations, route combinations, down and distance, and a quarterback’s tendencies all get plugged into a pre-snap calculus that helps Thomas figure out where the ball’s likely to go before the QB has even made a decision.

I’m not the kind of guy who watches All-22, but Earl Thomas makes me want to.

— Washington is wearing throwback uniforms, and I’m annoyed that their burgundies don’t match.

Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images

The jerseys are damn near purple, and while that may be partly due to the rain, the gold numbers are also markedly different than the yellow on the helmets.

And to you homers getting ready to mansplain it: I already KNOW that the NFL doesn’t let teams change their base helmets for any uniform. It’s a bad rule, and these uniforms look like ass because of it.

(Washington could have dealt with this by making the throwbacks match today’s helmets. All the old photos are black and white, who cares if the hue is historically accurate? I mean, if you want REALLY accurate Washington throwbacks, only the white players should wear them. Just the way George Marshall intended!)

— In an attempt to lessen our laundry workload by one percent, my wife tries to trick our daughter into organizing a pile of her socks into pairs. My daughter instantly recognizes that it’s a chore and hurls the socks around the room, resulting in one percent more work for us.

— Trailing 14-7, the Seahawks challenge a 3rd-and-2 incomplete pass. Russell Wilson had his throwing motion disrupted by Jadeveon Clowney, and Pete Carroll wants it ruled a fumble — the ball went downfield and was recovered by tight end Luke Willson.

This game is powered by hallucinogenic speedballs.

After review, the refs agree: First down, Seahawks. Finally, the Seahawks’ “Let defensive linemen assault our quarterback” offense is starting to pay off.

On the next play, Wilson throws a touchdown to Paul Richardson. It’s 14-14 in the first quarter, and this game is powered by hallucinogenic speedballs.

— The Cowboys go for it on 4th and 1 a few yards short of midfield. They’re down 10-7 early in the game — the circumstances aren’t dire, but it’s the sort of situation where the numbers say GO FOR IT while football coaches scream PUNT. It’s good to see Jason Garrett is willing to let his kickass line and Zeke Elliott execute those favorable odds. The Cowboys get the first.

— MIRACLE: Both of my kids are eating their dinner without complaint or hesitation. They ignore the TV to pay attention to the Halloween book my wife is reading. Years from now, when their grade school teacher praises their attention spans, I’m gonna get up in the middle of the parent-teacher conference and do Mick Jagger’s rooster strut.

— Crap, Will Fuller has another TD. Look at this awesome play design:

ANOTHER @Will_Fuller7 TD grab in Seattle! #Texans http://pic.twitter.com/4WroLy1s7A

— NFL (@NFL) October 29, 2017

Fuller now has seven touchdowns on, like, four catches this season.

Moments later, Russell Wilson responds with a downfield heave that Tanner McEvoy hauls in for a 53-yards gain. That sets up Paul Richardson’s second touchdown. Tie game again, 21-21.

— Washington kicks a field goal to go up 13-7. Or maybe 13-10? I dunno, it’s hard to pay much attention to this game. Dallas-Washington is like a football game in the rain when the other viewing option is a burning fireworks factory.

LATE GAMES, SECOND HALF

— Can I cut the bullshit for a second? I do not want to be a Seahawks fan narrating play-by-play for the game of the year that the Seahawks end up winning. That would be very fun to do for our Seahawks blog, but that’s more hollerin’ than I’d feel good about for this here national site.

From a slightly more objective viewpoint, I want to point out that the highlight package from this game is MORE THAN 12 MINUTES LONG. I’m going to embed the video even though the NFL usually blocks it from being played on any site but YouTube. That’s how good it is.

OK, back to diary mode. I promise: Minimal fist-pumping from here on out.

— After a sack pushes the Texans out of field goal range, Watson faces 3rd and 14. All he does is calmly avoid pressure, set up his downfield blocking (RIP Justin Coleman), and get just enough for the first down.

Patience. @DeshaunWatson sets up his blocking, rushes for first down. #Texans http://pic.twitter.com/lpLeEzEcnx

— NFL (@NFL) October 29, 2017

The Texans kick a field goal and retake the lead.

— The pot roast sauce is boiling, and my wife is busy giving our daughter a bath. I bring it down to a simmer, add a butter/flour mixture to thicken the sauce, and remove the scorched wood-handled spatula from its proximity to the burner. Man, a kitchen fire would have really spiced the end of this column up, huh?

— The Seahawks TWICE have to settle for field goals despite having the ball inside the Texans’ 5-yard line, and even though they have their first lead of the day, it feels like a missed opportunity. There’s no chance the Texans are done scoring touchdowns.

— Washington loses a fumble, and somewhere while I was paying attention to the better game, the Cowboys seized control of this game. With a better line and a better running game, the away team looks unlikely to cede the lead.

When the camera cuts to the sidelines, everyone looks miserable. And I don’t just mean the home team, I mean EVERYONE: the players, the fans, the camera operators, the refs. It’s SO MUCH rain. Playing sports in the rain can be fun, but I can’t imagine watching it for three hours while standing in a deluge. Not without Wellingtons, dry-fit winter socks, and three Camelbaks of whiskey and hot cider.

— I’ve been pausing RedZone on and off so I can help with the kids’ bedtime routine — bath time, pajamas, brushing teeth, etc. By the time they go to bed, the Cowboys are up by ten with a quarter to play, and there are 11 minutes left in the Texans-Seahawks game.

Rather than go haymaker-by-haymaker, I’m going to add up the numbers: In the final 11 minutes of that game, there are five plays of 34 yards or more, four touchdowns, and two interceptions. That’s half a season for the Browns!

— The pot roast is pretty good, by the way. Our entire apartment smells like red wine and red meat. Probably not worth the cost or the effort (in other words, a typical Ina Garten recipe), but this will be the foundation of three meals for us this week. Pre-made meals are the cornerstone of a good marriage when you have kids.

— Trailing by four, the Seahawks have 1:39 and no timeouts to get a touchdown. They go 80 yards in three plays. Paul Richardson goes up and steals a 48-yard bomb, Tyler Lockett snags a 19-yarder, and Jimmy Graham goes uncovered on the game-winning score. As a wildly cynical Seahawks fan, I am agog at the ease and speed with which they pull it off; I barely had time to worry about failure before they took the lead.

The defense does much the same thing: With two timeouts and 21 seconds, a game-tying field goal isn’t out of the question for the Texans -- it might even be an easy assumption given this game. But Frank Clark sacks Watson on first down, and Richard Sherman’s second pick ends the game. What an absolutely incredible game.

Two of the best in the game. #Seahawks #Texans http://pic.twitter.com/hlQx2dzYci

— NFL (@NFL) October 29, 2017

— It has come to my attention that I started Dak Prescott over Russell Wilson in fantasy football. WHOOPS.