#duck life: treasure hunt

[vincentlopez]

ANOTHER DUCK LIFE 5: TREASURE HUNT GAMEPLAY IS OUT NOW:

[jjscrybaby]

prompt 40: ‘lean on me.’

jj maybank x fem!routledge!reader | hurt & comfort | (stubborn!reader, mention of sick, reader is john b’s sister but no mention of race etc, getting shot, blood, shitty ending cause i’m tired🙂‍↕️)

my first request! thankyou anon, i hope u enjoy this <333

︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶ ୨♡୧ ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶

For your entire life, you’d been stubborn. Back when you were a kid, you’d refuse to admit that you were sick even when you were puking your guts out into the toilet, there was one time you climbed a tree because you wanted to be like JJ and John B and you ended up slicing your arm on a hanging stick; you kept it from them until the next day when they noticed the scab.

Your brother and your friends were used to it by now, you smiling through your tears when you got cheated on, or stumbling home alone after drinking too much because you were embarrassed to call for help.

No one was worried about you when you began the treasure hunt for the gold your old man had been searching for, you were a strong girl who could take care of herself and them. You weren’t worried about yourself either, not until you heard the bang.

“Shit!” JJ yelled from somewhere in front of you, ducking down with his hands over his head. You knew this lead was bullshit, a trap of some sort.

“Over here!” Kiara called, finding an entrance to the old warehouse you were running near. She held it open and the group of you ran in, panting and groaning. She slammed the door closed as you rushed in and pushed a table against it for good measure.

John B let out a laugh of disbelief, followed by JJ, Pope and then Kie. “Shit, that was a close one.” He chuckled, sitting down to lean against the wall.

“Too close,” Kiara agreed, sitting down beside him to catch her breath.

You weren’t listening to a word they were saying. Your ears rang as you looked down, blood was seeping into your white tee, your body numb from the pain.

“You good?” John B asked, looking over at you. Your eyes flickered over to him, panic all over your face. He slowly stood up and walked towards you. “Hey—” he stopped, eyes landing on the blood that covered your left side. His eyes widened, his face paled and he was rushing at you like a mad man. “No, no, no!”

“What?” JJ worried, coming over from where he’d been leaning against a wall. He followed John B’s gaze and had the exact same reaction, complexion going green and hands starting to shake as he grabbed your waist.

“It’s fine—” you croaked out, inhaling sharply at the pain that followed.

“Shut up. You’re shot,” JJ argued sternly. He pulled his sweatshirt over his head and gently pulled your shirt up, apologising when you cried out in pain. He inspected it, you were losing a lot of blood. “We need to get to the fuckin’ hospital!”

“Can’t afford that,” you coughed out, making everyone shoot you a dirty look.

“Would you rather bleed out? Come on, we need to get back to the van,” Kiara responded, looking around to see if there’s another exit.

You tried to stumble after them, clenching your jaw. JJ wrapped his arm around your waist, you tried to push him off and his grip tightened. “Lean on me. Let me help you,” he murmured.

“I don’t want to die, JJ,” you sobbed as he held you up, following the rest of the group. John B was up ahead, storming down the hallway you’d found to find an unlocked door.

“You’re not going to,” JJ argued, his pace quickening. “I’d never let that happen. Don’t panic, I know it hurts. You just have to hang in there a little longer, can you do that f’me?”

You just nodded your head, silent tears rolling down your cheeks as you finally leant on him properly; finally accepted the help that he’d been trying to give you for years. When you climbed that tree, he’d been at the top holding his hand out for you to take. When you were sick, he’d offer to hold your hair back and follow you around with food and water. When you got cheated on, he went round to your ex’s house and punched him right in his smug face. He was always there, you just never accepted the help.

You’d gotten lucky, the bullet had grazed you so the procedure was no where near as difficult as it could have been. When you woke up, head foggy and body numb, you felt a hand holding yours.

“Hey,” JJ murmured softly, stroking his thumb over your knuckles. “John B’s just gone home to grab you some shit.”

“You didn’t have to stay,” you replied croakily — he was instantly passing you a cup of water.

He gave you a look, shaking his head at you with amusement in his eyes. “You really ain’t worked it out yet?”

“Worked what out?” You asked, putting the cup back on the side table once your mouth started to feel less dry.

“That no matter how much your stubborn-ass may hate it, I’m not goin’ anywhere,” JJ stated, sounding stern yet soft all at once.

“Why?” You mumbled, feeling your cheeks heat up at his words. Was he just being friendly? Did he mean it because you were his best friends sister?

“‘Cause you’re, like, the most important thing to me,” he shrugged, looking down at where your hands were clasped together. “And I hate that you just let yourself struggle alone.”

You sucked in a sharp breath. Your’s and JJ’s relationship had always been funny banter, witty comments and buried love. You’d never heard him say something so honest, and if you’d been standing it would have sent you to your knees.

“You’re the most important thing to me, too,” you replied, your brain too foggy with the pain meds to think of anything else to say.

He flashed you a grin, bringing your hand up to his mouth to kiss your knuckles. “From now on, you ain’t dealing with shit alone. Definitely not when you’ve just been shot.”

“Grazed,” you corrected.

“Big-whoop. Get ready for me to be your personal butler, your ass ain’t leaving your bed once we get home,” he teased, making you roll your eyes fondly. 

You didn’t necessarily hate the idea of him taking care of you, not that you’d ever admit that to him; although from the glint in his eyes you were pretty sure he already knew. You were pretty sure he felt the same way.

John B was in for a real surprise when he gets back to the hospital — because his best friend and sister are most definitely head over heels in love.

[felicity-worthington]

Why is “Doctor Odyssey” a television show that very cleverly shows the depth of the human condition?

So, I have seen some people say that Doctor Odyssey is fun (especially because of Ody3) but also just a superficial show with no plot and I have to politely disagree. I think this show is the opposite, it's just supposed to look silly and superficial at first glance, as you can see when they repeat the phrase "we constructed a paradise" in the weekly recaps.

It is supposed to look like that, it is the idea of a cruise itself, for a week you escape the real world, you enter a new constructed one, which is supposed to be paradise without problems. But here's the thing, here is why there's a doctor and two nurses on this ship: it's just an idea, it's not real.

We especially see this in the episodes "I Always Cry at Weddings" and "Quackers" and of course in the main storyline of Max, Tristan and Avery navigating their relationship and their constant struggle with what they really want in life.

Let's start with "I always cry at weddings" to deconstruct the idea of superficiality with the weekly funny themes and the show only being silly because it's quite obvious here I think. I mean, a man commits suicide in this episode because he's deeply conflicted about what he really wants out of life and how he thinks there is an incurable darkness within him. And we see him, his bride and his best man as an example of how this construction, this idea of heteronormative happiness is just that for a lot of people: just an idea that doesn't guarantee you happiness, but actually destroys lives (not everyone's, of course). And we start this episode superficially, with a couple about to get married on a cruise, the perfect wedding in perfect paradise. But as the episode progresses, we see the cracks and then it gets very real. The scenes with the groom breaking down in the infirmary, the bride talking to Avery and Max after the suicide and her mother's confession are all absolute tearjerkers in the best way. I mean, watch that scene and then tell me again that this show is just a silly Riverdale for adults:

This is actually one of my favorite scenes of the show because the delivery of the line "we need to help this boy" is just perfect, the actress did an amazing job. Also, the character herself says "she pretended her fears away", which underlines the show's idea that this is a paradise where people should just forget their worries, but actually real life catches up with you no matter where you are, you cannot hide from it.

The other example I was thinking of is the latest episode with the Quackers community, which is super silly in a lot of ways and I love that, don't get me wrong.

And then you have this older couple, the leaders (?) of this community, who seem extremely superficial and silly, I mean, going on cruises to go on a quack treasure hunt? So silly. BUT then the cracks start to show again as one of them, the husband (I don't know what his name was, so I'll just call him the husband and her the wife), shows a serious condition, the compulsive urge to swallow objects. When confronted, the wife literally denies it, unable to face the ugly truth. In her world everything is perfect, she and her husband are on a never-ending treasure hunt on paradise cruises, and when something real, something problematic threatens that, she can't accept it at first. And we see that again later in the episode when she refuses to leave the ship:

She wants to stay in paradise, in denial, on the surface. But that's not possible, you can't ignore real life:

But this is her and her husband's dream, an endless paradise in search of ducks, and it's hard to let go and take a deeper look at life and accept that floating through life is a nice idea and might work for a while, but it can't go on forever:

regarding her husbands condition:

Once again the theme of what we want (superficial) and what is really going on (what is behind the construction of paradise) is mentioned.

All of this, and all of the recurring themes I mentioned, are also at play with the three main characters and their constant struggle with what they really want out of life. In a way, their calling to help people is fulfilled by their professions, but then they keep asking themselves, "Is this enough? Is this what I really want out of life, taking one cruise after another?

The theme of constructed ideas versus what is actually going on is also seen in their throuple situation. Max and Tristan have probably always seen themselves as straight, and now they are getting a deeper look at who they are and what they really want out of life. And that is scary, and it often takes years to deconstruct habits and self-image.

But there is no unnecessary weird teenage drama in this show, it is very real. It is supposed to look superficial, you only have to look a little closer to see that it is not.

So once you deconstruct the idea that this is all superficial, you will see that yes, it is silly, so is life and we need those silly and funny moments in life and in this show, but it is also very, very deeply human in many tragic but also good ways.

[cheesus-doodles]

Star-Crossed by Choice

Yandere Raihan & Leon with Champion Darling

Pokemon SwSh and SV Crossover

Masterlist

‎

been a hot minute since i've posted, so please enjoy this brainrot that has been eating away at my brain - i know its not the usual TR but gotta get it out somehow. next on the menu would (finally) be A Friend in Me!

cw: use of female pronouns twice

The pokeballs hidden deep within the depths of your bag wriggled impatiently, and you giggled at the sensation against your back. You couldn’t blame them for wanting to escape from the confines of their balls, not with the hum of life that filled the air of the small town of Cortondo. But this was neither the right time or space. It had been some time since you dared to let them out for a breath of fresh air and to stretch their limbs after all, and you silently promised both them and yourself that you would the moment the opportunity arises. 

The evening was a welcomed relief from the scorching heat of the afternoon that had left you drenched in sweat - the air was crisp and fresh, just dry enough to lift the sweat from your panting skin but not enough to suck all moisture away. A far cry from the humid day under the blistering sun; much unlike what your usual day would be like spent wandering and exploring new grounds, you instead had been forced to duck into the air-conditioned shops for a break. Strolling down cobbled pathways, the little colored flags that stretched from rooftop to rooftop waved invitingly at visitors from all corners of Paldea, the calls of shopkeepers adding to the general hustle and bustle as the town came alive once more, the sun sinking ever lower towards the horizon. 

Your heart wrenched, the pain in your chest sharp. Despite your urge to shrink away from the masses of people, all the eyes you could feel watching you, there was no denying that you missed this. You missed being free. Just being able to walk through town without a care in the world, without anyone hovering over you, one arm slung tightly around your shoulders. Not having to constantly worry about your Pokemon friends getting hurt because of something stupid that was your fault. You never thought you would have ever been able to get a second chance at freedom, to start all over again from scratch; that brazen escape you had risked your life and limbs on seemed to have paid off, though you had to turn your thoughts to the present to stop the tears from welling at the thought of everything and everyone you left behind.

Amidst the crowds of students all dressed in the same Uva Academy uniform as you, out and about and eager to discover when their own ‘Treasure Hunt’ leads them to, you felt secure. You felt like you blended in for once. Maybe it had been worth it, changing both your hairstyle and color, making sure to dress down and look down. Maybe you could be safe here.

“Hey!” A call of your name cut through the commotion of the crowd like a knife through butter. You jolted as one hand came flying down to smack you on your shoulder. Whirling round, you came face to face with those excited orange eyes framed by three signature green strands of hair.  “I thought you’d never come!” The president of the student council was as enthusiastic and energetic as ever, not seeming to have noticed your startle, instead beginning to shake you by both shoulders as she all but shouted her questions at you. “Which gym have you defeated? How strong are your Pokemon? Do you want to battle?”

You opened your mouth, but as usual, no words seemed to come out. Perhaps it was the crowd, everyone else around the two of you that is. You had managed a few words to the friendly Nemona previously, back when you parted ways at Mesagoza; a rare and unusual occurrence, given how your throat usually opts to clam up in front of anyone but your parents, but it just goes to show you have come to trust the loudmouth girl. Your social anxiety didn’t quite show around her like it did everyone else. 

Lifting both hands in a surrender and placating manner, it was beyond you how you manage to calm the other down, before reaching into your pocket to shyly show your friend the two badges that you had obtained so far in all the days you had been wandering. It wasn’t much you knew, and it wasn’t much on purpose. After all that had happened to you back in Galar, you were afraid to go down the League route again, let alone touch anything that had the word ‘Champion’ in it with a fifty-foot pole. 

To your surprise, Nemona was elated. “WOW! You already got two? I knew you had potential!”

You blinked, confused. Wouldn’t she have expected more badges? Was she just hiding her disappointment? The Champion-ranked trainer didn’t give you even a minute to breathe though, hooking one arm through yours and starting to drag you towards the nearest restaurant. “I want to hear ALL about it, you understand?” There was no time to finish your thoughts as you had to scuttle to keep up with her incredibly quick walking pace, and the two of you disappeared from the streets and into the depths of some place you couldn’t catch the name of.

‎

‎

Outside, a different story was unfurling, a pair of teal eyes was fixed firmly on the doorway that you had just disappeared through from beneath the shade of a hoodie, a frown pulling at his usually upturned lips. From across the street and with most of his deceptively lean self hidden behind a wall, there was no doubt in his mind that it was you. A restaurant was no place to cause a commotion, Raihan knew; who knows what you could resort to if cornered? You had escaped once, what was going to stop you from running again? He had waited and waited for this moment despite not being a patient man, but perhaps it wasn’t a bad idea to let you enjoy your last hour of freedom. There would be the rest of eternity with you after all, and he didn’t intend on letting you run wild again.

One tanned hand reaching up to pull his hoodie further down his face, Raihan leaned back against the wall, bringing his cold drink up to his lips. Soon.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl, with each second feeling more like years passing by. The crowds of students of varying ages, all clad similarly in that signature purple uniform, drifted past where he stood like a gentle wave, the town slowly clearing of people as the minutes ticked by. The sun that had once ruled the sky had now fully set, sinking past the distant mountain horizon with a grand burst of colors; the evening rays had been the herald for the star full of skies that now twinkled above. Yet the Galar Dragon gym leader kept waiting. Even if his eyes drifted away from the building, to gaze at the empty distance and wonder of the different Pokemon that wandered this region, or to scan the throngs of people for threats, there was no activity in or out of the restaurant that he missed. All the while, all Raihan could do was recall the night you had disappeared again and again in his head as he glared down at anyone who dared venture too near: the sheer horror of finding you missing from your room in the morning, your confiscated Pokeballs gone from their secured box. The feeling of his gut dropping straight out the bottom when he couldn’t find you after tearing the entire estate apart, his own Pokemon returning empty-handed after he had sent them out to track you down in a sheer moment of desperation.

Never again would he let himself feel that way. Never.

‎

You finally reappeared through the doorway long after his patience had worn out, but instead of the usual annoyance turned anger, the tanned man felt his breath hitch. You looked so very different yet at the same time, so very familiar. What a sight for sore eyes. The way you stood beside your new friend, huddled as close as you dared go, those doe eyes of yours fixed on a random spot on the ground. Small smile pulling at your lips as you fidgeted with the hem of the shirt of your school uniform, listening carefully to everything your energetic companion was spewing at you.

There was nothing you could change about yourself that would be able to hide you away from him: not changing your hairstyle, your hair color, the type of clothes you wear or even the color of your eyes.

But all his joy at seeing you once more was instantly wiped away when he had to witness you lifting your eyes to meet the other’s. And the anger that raged in his chest igniting once more at the sight of your lips moving - almost as if you were speaking. Sure there was no one else but the two of you lingering on the porch of the now-dark restaurant, but you never spoke to anyone but Hop. Not to him, not even to your Pokemon in the presence of another. Selectively mute, was what your all-too innocent mother had happily informed the gym leader when he had paid her a visit to collect some clothes from your house. Even Raihan himself never had the privilege of hearing your sweet voice in person. 

So who was this bastard? 

Watching as you stepped off the curb and back onto cobblestoned streets, there was no time like the present - with the dwindling masses and the shops closed or closing. Raihan pushed off the wall, both hands sliding into the front pockets of his jacket, each stride bringing closer and closer to your little duo. You never even noticed.

‎

The unease you had in your gut had been growing for a while. You couldn’t quite pinpoint what caused that feeling, but it certainly was shared by your Pokemon, their balls having wriggled restlessly all evening where you had hidden them in the depth of your bag. But being out with Nemona gave you a sense of security, and despite your better your judgment, you had pushed the nagging voice to the back of your head. It was probably nothing.

Until it wasn’t.

“So there you are, lil champ,” came that all too familiar drawl. You froze mid-step as a long shadow fell over you. You knew that voice, and you knew it too well for your own liking. The hairs on the back of your neck instantly stood on end as the smile fell from your face. “Never thought you’d go all the way back to school just to hide from me.”

There was no answer from you, but Raihan just kept speaking as if he didn’t notice. “Have to say you fit right in though. You do still have a lot to learn, don’t ya?” You didn’t have to turn to look to know who it was standing behind you, cold sweat already beading at your forehead as you stared down at the pavement, your eyes quavering. No way. There was no way he could have already found you. You thought- you thought you had made it far enough. You thought you were safe. 

“You thought you were safe?” It was as if the man in the dragon hoodie towering over you could read your thoughts - no, in his presence, there was no doubt that your mind was like an open book. “That we would never be able to find you because you ran overseas?” Those deceivingly downturned eyes glared a hole into your back, his lazy smile deceptively kind. “Aren’t ya going to say anything?”

Your new friend seemed to have taken notice of the sudden fear that washed over your entire posture, and in an instant, you were pushed behind her back, Nemona’s gloved hand going almost threateningly to the Pokeballs that hung by her belt. “Excuse me, but who are you?” The usually bubbly voice you had come to know was suddenly firm, every bit of enthusiasm having faded away into this serious side you had only encountered once. 

The Galar Dragon gym leader was hardly intimidated by those orange eyes, ignoring her as his dragon-like gaze continued to stare you down, the pressure alone from the fixation enough to force you to freeze. “Can’t even look at me, huh? Rude.” He knew you couldn’t. Raihan of all people knew better than most you couldn’t meet his gaze. The only response that left your lips was a whimper, your figure starting to quaver as the tears welled at the corner of your eyes.

But the annoying girl with the three strands of green hair butted in again, this time withdrawing a Pokeball to fully hold in her hand with the other arm wrapping comfortingly around your shoulders. “You are scaring my friend, and I do not appreciate that. Please leave.”

Raihan’s eyes finally slipped to the little insect, that razor-sharp gaze losing any and all interest. “And who are you?”

“Nemona, president of the Uva Academy student council and Champion-ranked trainer.” She announced, and the tanned man almost groaned out loud. Of all the places to possibly find you at, of course you had chosen the company of another champion. 

‎‎‎

Though it was a third voice that finally shattered your heart and any hope of escape you had left. “Champion?” The voice rang out from the darkness of the unlit side street. “I thought you were done with champions.” The pounding of heavy footsteps, and that unmistakably mob of long purple hair emerged into the dull light of the overhead streetlight. Just when you thought your heart couldn’t sink any further, your poor beating organ simply opting to fall straight out from your chest. Leon.

If Leon was here...

Nemona’s grip on you only tightened. “Who are you?” She demanded again, putting herself directly between you and the two men. You wanted to thank her, to say something, to say anything, but all you could do was tremble, your feet rooted to the ground no matter how much you screamed at yourself to move. No way - no way. How did they find you? “What do you want?”

There was no escape. You were trapped.

Her question was answered by the whispers of the gathering stragglers that still wandered the otherwise quiet streets of Cortondo, though the growing number of eyeballs didn’t help you feel anymore at ease. 

“Isn’t that… Leon and Raihan?”

“From Galar?”

“World number 1 and 7?! But what are they doing here?”

“Who’s that with Nemona?”

Your stomach churned, and you could feel the bile starting to rise through your throat. Leave. You wanted to leave. To run. To be anywhere but here.

The student council president was quick to realize that there was a lot more to you that she didn’t know, and that orange gaze, slowly but surely, turned on you. The reassuring grip she had on your shoulders never left, and Nemona gave you a tight squeeze. “What’s going on?” She whispered to you, but in the dead silence that suddenly fell over the night, everyone could hear her loud and clear. And what do these Master-Class trainers want with you? Was the unspoken question you heard loud and clear.

A single heartbeat of silence.

“Turn around, Galar Champion,” Leon ordered. There was no room in his tone for anything but absolute obedience, and against your will, you obeyed. Hesistantingly, shuffle by shuffle, you turned to face them, though your eyes remained firmly fixed on the ground, trembling hands gripped so tight that your knuckles were white.

Nemona’s eyebrows shot through the roof, and her voice pitched. “Galar Champion?!” And the growing crowd broke into a new round of frenzies whispers, every eyeball now on you, scanning you up and down in disbelief. 

A little thing like you? Champion?

“Never told you huh?” Raihan crowed. “That she had an entire team of Pokemon that could run at Champion League levels?”

Leon only continued to study your form mutely as Raihan continued to taunt Nemona with his knowledge, those once-friendly yellow eyes now almost seeming to glow in the dare as they peered straight into your soul. Taking a single step in your direction, it was enough to have you shrink away, your eyes flying shut and your shoulders hitching up. Almost as if you were expecting to take a hit from the former Galar Champion.

“So you have our Champion, and we’ll like her back. Please.” Finished the tanned man. Baring those sharp teeth, the smile that pulled at those lips was anything but friendly, Raihan once more turning his gaze back on you.

“Are you ready to come home?”

[everytangbo]

"Tomorrow Chung Myung will turn 50 years old. That's half a century! So I planned in advance, today I treated him with half a banket. That's half a pork, half a duck and half of a jug of wine. He just half laughed and said

'I guess I should wait five years to get the other half on your 50th birthday'

'so I have to pay for my own banquet?'

He laughed!

'half-paying— but don't worry, you'll only get half-beaten'

Rude, you'll still punch me in my birthday? Great.

I told him that I hope I don't turn 100, though.

He gave me a whole beat up anyway.

We'll aside from my poor attempt to make him laugh. But that was just half the morning.

Next thing I made for him was the treasure hunt across Huayin. All planned. I couldn’t just hand over all his gifts so easily. No, no, that wouldn’t do for someone as sharp as Chung Myung. So I devised the Plum Blossom Trail, but here’s the catch—I planted a few traps along the way, and if Chung Myung took a wrong turn, well… let’s just say he’d meet a most unfortunate end at the hands of a clever “murderer” (me).

The clues were embroidered on silk ribbons, but some contain the wrong clues.

The death ribbon is the white one. His punishment? Bam! Getting ambushed with stink cloud bombs. Dozens of them. He couldn't run away. I handed out a trap for every gift.

He fell for one! Fermented soybeans! I told him he was only half dead, so he could have received the correct clue.

I gave him a bottle of aged wine, which I labeled as ‘half the price but double the quality’.

A basket of steamed buns, the ones he loves so much, with a note saying ‘Only half as good without you’.

And last but not least, a chest filled of coins 'Here's half of what you're owed for all the times you've saved my life. The other half? Well, you'll have to stick around a few more decades to earn it, Myung-Myung~'

He punched me, but he smiled. They let me stay overnight with them at Mount Hua. It's nice to have dinner with all the disciples.

It's almost midnight now, I'm waiting for his actual birthday.

Happy 50th birthday, Myung-Myung.

[puhpandas]

i used to play duck life treasure hunt constantly when i was younger and the theme of the game still regularly plays in my head to this day even when i havent played the game in years

[popculturebuffet]

Pirate Month III: Raw Toonage Hosted by Don Karnage (Comission by WeirdKev27)

Ahoy me harties and welcome aboard to pirate month! For those new to the tradition each year kev has me look at a bunch of piratey media, yarrgh barrrghh. IN the past we've looked at mainstays like our flag means death, muppet treasure island and pirates in an adventure with scientests both in book form and it's stellar film.

This year's a bit more ecletic as in addition to more pirates we have some garfield, a real life treasure hunt involving muppets, the wiggles and some donald duck for ya'll. And to start we've got the strangest one of all

Nah we'll do that next year. No this year we've got an episode of Raw Toonage.

Raw Toonage is an obscure Disney show cobbled together out of spare parts. That's not an exageration either: See early in it's production Bonkers was running long. For those like me who aren't exactly familiar wtih the show beyond "I'ts about animated actors and a cat and he got beaten up by all darkwing ducks mortal enemies that one time", Bonkers was set in toontown ala roger rabbit, taking the same basic premise of toons as actors, and doing it's own thing. The title character's show got canceled shortly before the show and he became a cop to start the show. With Bonkers taking a while due to rewrites and what not, they decided to make some of the actual bonkers shorts. Around the same time Micheal Eisner got the rights to belgan comic Marsupilami, a weird creature with a tail who started in the comic Spirou and Fantasio before his creator, owning the rights, spun the character off on his own. Disney would later loose the rights hence why this series and Marsuplini's spinoff aren't on disney+.. though you'd be forgiven for thinking the reason was because it's friday I guess given House of Mouse and the Weekenders remain not on the service.

Hence raw toonage, which aired the two shows along with Totally Tasteless Video, random weird pop culture segments designed to pad out the run time.

To make this frankenstiens monster weirder, and the reason we're here, each episode was hosted by a diffrent disney character. Scrooge got an episode, Webby got to be in the opening credits for reasons, Ludvig Von Drake got one, Sebastian from the little mermaid got one for some reason, and naturally the fiercest pirate to ever fly the skies till he popped out a kid to take up the mantle, Don Karnage lead one.

So come with me as Don Karnage teaches us to pirate, Bonkers tears my soul out, we learn what the spud channel is, and Marspulni plays some hockey while I try to squeeze in a shorsey or letterkenny refrence. Possibly both.

Let's begin. Don Karnage opens the episode advising the audience and being told via mail he's going to to host the segment. He prostests gets another letter on with the show. More on him later

For our first Segement Bonkers plays sherluck bonkers and I pray for death but death won't come. This segment.. is horrible> It took me a few sittings over several days to finish it. It's that bad. It's a never ending horrific loop of "GET IT HE'S A DETECTIVE WHO CAN'T DETECT NO GOOD" for 11 minutes. I.. can't overstate my hatred of this forgotten segment of a forgotten disney show that I wish I forget. It is NOTHING but Jim Cummings doing a doofy mildly annoying voice and schitck that was old when Mickey was just a cow traumatizing glimmer in a young walt disney's eye.

I can't even riff on it: it's just the same thing for 11 minutes. At least when Kevin scarred me for life wtih An American Carol last month I could baffle at how out of touch it was. This is just.. nothing. It's not worse mind you, but at least Fraiser Crane mowing down the aclu who are zombies for some reason is a level of baffling horror you just don't get every day. This is nothing. Just 11 minutes of my life I could've spent playing more persona 5, or reading more golden age batman as he works to kidnap the joker from the hopstial to change his brain

Or deals with a man who is ugly thanks to fraternity hazing

Or batman's never ending war with slot machines

I'm saying I had better uses of my time but I also needed the money.

Don Karnage's next segment kinda happens. Fun Fact: he's only in about three or four minutes of this episode and they really don't use him to his best. This is a waste of your jim Cummings. granted so was the last 11 minutes so maybe I was still just a wee bit numb.

Thankfully the Tottally Tasteless Video segments better. A couple does some channel surfing with weird channels like watching candle wax before settling on the potato channel and we get two or three glorious minutes of various pottato programming, mostly potato starskey and hutch. Which is something I didn't know I needed. I'm sad this wasn't brought back in the 2000's, I needed potato degrassi. "When in doubt you kiss potato craig?" did you erase potato clair from your memory? Does Jenna still tell potato KC to play basketball? I gotta know. But it's genuinely charming fun nonsense.

Our final full segment is Marsupilami. His segment is just some fun Looney Tunes style nonsense. It's not on warners level, but it's still some fun as some obnoxious guy played by jim cummings freezes over the lake. I expected our weird friend to do a bugs bunny but instead he's more oblivous, not getting this guy needs to give his balls a tug. It's just some fun slapstick as maras oblivously gets dunked on only to oblivously turns the table. Ther'es just a nice zen charm to the guy, reminds me of goofy. A simple segment but it works.

The final one has Don Karnage finally find some treasure...

Yes folks as advertised up top Captain Hook himself cameos out of fucking nowhere to rescue this wraparound. Seriously though, most of this wrapround is eh. Karnage CAN be better but Jim Cummings has nothing to work with. Finding out disney's two best pirates, go jerk off in a lake jack, not only know each other but have a weird rivalry and history we know nothing about... it's amazing. Truly spellnbinding. The way Hook taunts him about being a sky pirate, the way Karnage claps back about sky pirates making him obsolute, the suddne esclation to a goddman swordfight that's all too short and hook ending up winning as he should and heading off with smee and the treasure.. it's all so good. It's two minutes too little. It's the greatest weird disney crossover since this

I still need context.. like who tops. Same with Karnage and Hook. Why are they like this? Will they fight again? What do baloo and peter think of each other? have they teamed up. I woudl've preferred just a full on tailspin peter pan crossover with peter pan and hook also as furrys over this, but i'll take what I get

So yeah this episode ends great, has some potato fun.. but that's.. all you really need to watch> Marsu is fine, but i've seen better and Bonkers is like living in a living nightmare. It's a neat curosity .. but it really dosen't use Don Karnage well. Like Bonkers it's just the one joke of "GE TIT HE'S BAD AT FINDING TREASURE" We deserved him and hook fighting the whole time, and maybe having some hardcore sex to top it off and releive the tension. Does anyone actually WANT that... I dunno. I'm just curious how Hoook is in the sack. Smee won't return my calls. I'm betting he's really weird and his penis is also wooden and he knows how to use it. I"m not even attracted to him I just want to know how that works. And on that horrifyin thought thanks for reading.

[theredengineapologist]

🚂😈"WELCOME FELLOW TRAIN ENJOYERS" 😈🚂

Finally found time to make myself a proper persona so it's time for a new intro!

Hello y'all! Call me Randy (or Jester)! And welcome to my dedicated TTTE blog! A place for me to shitpost, share my humanized TTTE fanart, and, of course, Trainrot(tm).

As shown here, I am an adult! Which means that some of my posts contain content unsuitable for children! This includes, but is not limited to:

Coarse Language

Horror (Tagged as #tw horror and other relevant tags)

Suggestive content (Nothing explicit (yet), tagged as #suggestive)

I politely ask that y'all use your own discretion before following me.

Also of course, my favorite is JAMES! The ✨SPLENDID✨💋RED💋🚂ENGINE🚂

✨ FOR ALL THINGS REGARDING MY HUMANIZED TTTE AU (TTTE: SUDRIAN BOYS) CLICK HERE! ✨

IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN NON-TTTE WORKS, CHECK OUT MY OTHER ART BLOG @jesterartz

TTTE WATCH PROGRESS + TAG GUIDE UNDER THE CUT!

~ RANDY'S TTTE WATCH PROGRESS ~

Key: Blue = Complete, Green = In Progress, Orange = Not Seen

[CLASSIC ERA COMPLETE (SEASON 1-7)]

[HIT ERA (SEASON 8-11): INCOMPLETE (Seen "Henry and the Wishing Tree", "Spic and Span", "Edward the Great", "Saving Edward", "Keeping Up With James", "James the Second Best", "Dirty Work", "Thomas and the Big Bang", and "Edward and the Mail"]

[CGI MILLER ERA (SEASON 12-16): NOT SEEN]

[BRENNER ERA (SEASON 17-21): INCOMPLETE, Partially Seen S17 (Eps 1-4 plus "Henry's Hero", "The Thomas Way", "The Frozen Turntable", "Away from the Sea", "Gone Fishing", and "No More Mr. Nice Engine"), Finished S18 - S20, Seen S21 Eps 1-2]

[BWBA ERA (SEASON 22-24)]: INCOMPLETE (Seen "Hunt the Truck" and "School of Duck")]

[TTTE MOVIES: SEEN "The Adventure Begins", "The Great Race", "Journey Beyond Sodor", "Sodor's Legend of the Lost Treasure", and "Tale of the Brave"]

~ TAG GUIDE ~

GENERAL TAGS:

#redengineposts = All Posts made by Yours Truly 😈

#redengineart = ❤ My Art ❤

#redenginepolls = Silly Polls that I have Made 🥰

#poll results = The Results of Polls I made

#trains irl = Real life trains/engines/locomotives! In the real world!

#reblog = Things reblogged from other Tumblrs 🙃

#queue queue b*tches = Things from Le Queue

ART TAGS:

#redengineart = ❤ My Art ❤

#TTTE: Sudrian Boys = All things related to my own TTTE Humanized AU

#Into the Trainverse = Posts crossing over between my humanized TTTE and that of other creators

WRITING TAGS:

#TTTE: Sudrian Boys = All things related to my own TTTE Humanized AU

#randys headcanons = My headcanons relating to TTTE

#randys trainfics = Fanfics I have written for TTTE

#on today's episode of "thinking too hard about trains"... = General thoughts about the Thomas and Friends TV show 🚂

#ttte first impressions = My first impressions of TTTE episodes as I watch them

#ttte episode review = My reviews, discussions, and/or general thoughts about TTTE episodes

[mice-ducks-and-blots]

You said you would info dump about the treasure island Mickey au if anyone asked. Well, I am asking. If you don’t mind :)

(for context: this au here)

I was going to talk abt it when I doodled more of it, but that might be like next year or never kjkskjs so I'll do it now!!

Ok so. It's not a Treasure Island au, just some pirate au I thought while reading Treasure Island (and listening to Shiver My Timbers from Muppets Treasure Island, that song is SUCH a banger). Though it has the same aesthetics in the sense of time period and such.

Mickey here is a famous explorer and scholar who travels across the sea and writes about its misteries, creatures, islands. He's gained quite the reputation and people say he might as well guard the whole ocean inside his brain. He lives in a house a bit far from the city at the seashore, where he keeps his studies and findings such as fossils and shells.

The Phantom Blot is the captain of the Darkenblot ship and his black-stained flag is well known across the seas as belonging to the most fearsome pirate to ever set sail on them. (Pete is his first mate, Plottigat, the medic/inventor, and Scuttle and Trudy and maybe other baddies I'm forgetting about are there in his crew too)

So, there's this legend about a jewel called "The Heart of the Sea" very creative I know that allows the person who holds it to control the winds, tides, and storms. Blot wants it, and he's convinced that that famous mouse explorer knows where it is. So he has Mickey kidnapped and taken aboard.

Mickey does know some clues to where the heart might be, but he refuses to help Blot. Aftel all, the jewel would be trouble enough in the hands of some common pirate, so someone intelligent and cruel like him could only bring disaster. So Blot gives him a few days to change his mind, or he'll walk the plank.

While locked in the ship's cell, Mickey's helped by one of the pirates, who sneaks in some food and water when he can. He's suspicious at first, but soon learn that this one pirate - Donald Duck - Is not like he rest of the crew at all.

Donald was just a simple fisherman who, out of his enormous bad luck, ended up in the Drakenblot's way while fishing away from the shore. He would have been tossed overboard, but Blot noticed something about him - an almost supernatural sense of direction, and the ability to tell when the weather would change. He was too valuable to be lost, so he was forced to become one of the pirates. Or they'd harm his family (He carried a picture of his nephews with him).

So anyways after that Idk what happens exactly. I guess Mickey and Donald try to escape and Donald is almost drowned by the pirates, but when drowning he turns into a mermaid (though the design is more like a fish monster, yknow, like the ones from Pixar's Luca) and he grabs Mickey and swims away. They find Donald's uncle Scrooge who explains that Donald was a mermaid his whole life but if he knew that, the signs of his heritage would be impossible to hide (such as markings on his skin when he was in his terrestrial form idk) and that's why he hid it from him and Della (who found out she was a mermaid and had to hide leaving her sons to Donald, as she didn't want them to be chased and hunted).

Then uuuh I guess Donald, Mickey, the nephews and Scrooge (and Goofy too I want him to be there) go find the Heart of The Sea and I think the other mermaids before the pirates do, and Magica is in the au somewhere as a cool sea whitch/monster and Mickey and Donald become a couple at some point I think that's it

Thanks for the ask! <3

[ratboyinastarrycoat]

oc ask game

blue with foxboy. have fun!

ohhh my boy.. my boy who has never known peace in his life.... dreadful!

we're naturally assuming he's outta the basement-cult or wherever he is if he's having a PEACEFUL day... well.

if he had the choice, he'd sleep in. years of running himself to the bone and being dutiful no matter what means his internal clock is pretty strict but that doesn't mean he can't just put his head down and go back to sleep.

when he gets up, it's walk time! he loves walking! especially if he can get out, see the sun, breathe some fresh air and maybe see what all the fuss is about feeding ducks in all that tv he's been catching up on recently. buying a proper lunch, not stealing it and definitely not having to hunt it himself, is also a treat he treasures dearly (and, ah, oh no, it seems feeding the ducks also means they'll expect YOUR food when you run out. time to buy another lunch! he doesn't really mind)

he's a big fan of the pet shop. i think he'd really like to go see the pet shop, especially if he could go with the regular basement crew to coo at the little cats. or maybe just wander into the public library and brush up on his reading skills - it's been a while and he's working hard to relearn the pace he used to be able to go at as a kid (nerd)

evening sets and he just goes back home to watch tv. it's hard to shake that little bit of unease he has in public because after all, people look at you when you're a weird masked man covered in scars looking behind you all suspicious like. also he's autistic. so he retires to go sleep on the couch, nestled in a blanket den just like his namesake and watching a documentary or something with a book in hand. king of multitasking with a few years worth of real society to catch up on, who can blame him ??

[vincentlopez]

DUCK LIFE 5: TREASURE HUNT GAMEPLAY IS OUT NOW

[world-of-stones-and-colors]

Open RP - Larry

It was a simple work gathering, something to celebrate how well the League was doing thanks to the academy's treasure hunt that year. Larry had only intended to stay for a drink, one single drink, something he didn't even get to have because apparently what people said about the past was right: It always caught up with you.

It was someone he'd tussled with before, back when he was younger, someone whom he had fought and beat quite spectacularly, if he was remembering correctly. They had taken offense to how well Larry was doing now, started shouting about how someone like him shouldn't be allowed to be a gym leader, that he belonged back in the gutter where he came from. If he could have, Larry would have agreed with him.

He'd tried to ignore the man, but that only angered them all the more. They had followed Larry out when he'd gone for a smoke (damn his nerves, now was not the time), going on about how Larry thought he was better than them, now that he was a gym leader, and when they had gotten no response?

It turned violent.

He didn't see the punch coming (or so he would say. In reality? He knew he deserved that hit, and was content to just let it happen), it sending a shock of pain sparking out from his jaw that fuzzed at his vision. The fight only lasted for one more punch after the first, it being a subconscious swing from Larry, an instinct that apparently had never left him from his younger life.

He still stood in the alcove he'd ducked into to smoke when he'd come back to himself, hidden between two buildings in order to keep his vices away from prying eyes (kids didn't need to see a gym leader indulging in such a vile habit), his body suddenly growing heavy as he slumped back against the wall of the bar, where the sounds of muffled merriment could be heard through the brick exterior from within. No one had seen the short fight (he hoped), and the guy was (thankfully) still breathing where he'd dropped to the asphalt. The only evidence that it had happened was the bruise slowly forming on his cheek and across his knuckles, but the pain of which was lost on him, with his adrenaline and anxiety running so high.

"...Fuck."

[rabbitcruiser]

World Egg Day

Have fun with egg-based meals, from scrambled eggs for breakfast to egg cake for dessert. Make use of eggs in other ways by decorating them with family.

Arguably one of the oldest foods known to man, eggs have played an important role in the lives and health of humans since time out of mind. These little goodies are packed full of protein, and also serve as the base for some of the most wonderful breakfast foods and culinary additions, including that most perfect of condiments for sandwiches, mayonnaise. 

World Egg Day celebrates these delightful little packages of deliciousness and the incredibly important role they play in the day-to-day lives of humans all over the planet. 

History of World Egg Day

Typically, when most tend to consider the egg, they think of those white or brown shelled emissions that come from the common chicken. Containing a small treasure with a golden yolk, and the potential to become so many things that it strains the boundaries of human imagination, the Chicken Egg has become the definitive image when the word ‘egg’ is spoken.

But these are not the only type of eggs that mankind finds valuable, consider for a moment caviar, a symbol of wealth in its own right. These are, of course, the eggs of various fish, and World Egg Day represents their importance as well.

The history of the egg expands far beyond merely a culinary concern and, in fact, has had great importance in multiple cultures for reasons both decorative and religious. In many cultures around the world, eggs have been a sign of fertility and representative of life, renewal and rebirth.

Consider for a moment the Easter Egg, where children hunt each year for brightly colored eggs or plastic shaped in the form of the egg which contains treats such as chocolate, jellybeans, or money. In fact, decorated Easter Eggs are one of the oldest forms of decorative artwork in the world. 

And what about the Faberge Eggs? Those beautiful pieces of artistic elegance created by Peter Carl Faberge from St. Petersburg, Russia. So beautiful were these that they were prized even by Czars!

World Egg Day reminds you to explore the hallways of history and the places that eggs occupy there. It’s time to get into celebrating World Egg Day!

How to Celebrate World Egg Day

Getting involved with celebrating World Egg Day can become an exciting adventure when it comes to celebrating everything to do with the Egg. Try out some of these ideas for celebrating the day:

Enjoy a Meal Including Eggs

Celebrating World Egg Day best starts with a great big plate of scrambled eggs served along with their most bosom companion, bacon. With a dash of salt and pepper, plus a little bit of cheese, that simple plate of eggs will be absolutely delicious!

For lunch, a great idea would be to create a sandwich upon a slice of Challah bread, a Jewish Egg bread that is nothing short of amazing. And the center of the sandwich? Well, that probably needs to be egg salad, of course. Make it with some boiled eggs, mayonnaise, mustard, and some chopped dill pickle relish. 

Those who are feeling a little bit adventurous may look and find if there are types of eggs that they have, perhaps, never tried before. Duck Eggs are especially prized, and Goose Eggs are larger than the typical chicken egg but can be quite interesting when cooked in a variety of ways.

Learn Some Fun Facts About Eggs 

World Egg Day is the perfect time to brush up on interesting tidbits and trivia that can be shared with various coworkers, neighbors, friends, or family members. They’ll be impressed with unique and interesting bits of information, such as: 

Egg Color is Determined By Earlobes. The color of the egg doesn’t have anything to do with freshness, flavor or nutritional value. In fact, the color of the egg is determined strictly by the breed of the hen and corresponds to the color of the hen’s earlobe!

Chefs Hats are Influenced by Eggs. Some people aren’t aware that going back a little in history, the meaning of the number of the pleats in a chef’s hat was related to the number of ways that the chef was able to cook an egg. The ultimate goal and badge of true honor was to get to 100 pleats.

Iowa is a Big Egg Producer. In the United States, the state of Iowa leads the nation in egg production, with more than 14 billion eggs every single year! The next state comes in at around half of that: Ohio produces a little under 8 billion eggs per year.

Eating cooked eggs is healthier. While some people think that eating a raw egg will help to build muscle, that’s not true. Only about 50% of the proteins in a raw egg can be digested. After it’s cooked, the body can digest more than 90% of the proteins.

Get Creative with an Ostrich Eggs

For those of an artistic bent, there is great potential to be found in a carefully drained Ostrich Egg, one could even make themselves a lamp from such an egg!

World Egg Day encourages people all over the world to truly explore the possibilities within the egg!

Bonus: Egg Freshness Tips

Not sure if those eggs are fresh? The best way to test for freshness is by dropping an egg into a glass of water. If it sinks, it is fresh. If it floats? It’s probably old.

Eggs that have a cloudy white are extremely fresh! Most eggs that come from the grocery store have been sitting around a little longer and will probably have “whites” that are actually clear and colorless. They’re still fine to eat, though, unless the “whites” are some color other than cloudy white or transparent.

Source

[sapphic-lottienat]

i miss duck life treasure hunt

[total-drama-takes-takes-2]

tta episode 9

“Last time, on Total Takes Action: our remaining players competed in an all-out chick flick extravaganza, complete with the infamous makeover scene and a climatic test of intelligence and cunning- in the end, Scary subverted the trope expectations and won immunity, but not without throwing a world-class tantrum first. Sha-Mod ended up voting himself out to protect his identity, leaving only six players behind. Who will be walking the plank today? And who will be taking one step closer to the grand prize of one million dollars? Find out now, on Total! Takes! Island!”

Thunder rumbles overhead Toronto, and this season, it’s not the result of Chris’ scientific tampering. A thick fleet of rain pours down over the film lot, casting everything in a filter of gray.

As per usual, Scruffy is up bright and early (though it’s not very bright today) for their daily pre-challenge training. It’s hardly five in the morning and they’re already dressed, stretching in the boys and such trailer and jogging in place as they brush their teeth in the communal bathrooms.

As they spit out a mouthful of toothpaste, a loud shriek makes them jump.

“Oh, no! The challenge is starting already?” They throw their toothbrush carelessly and run outside. “I didn’t even run my 85 laps around the set yet!”

They throw open the bathroom door and step into the rain to see… a pile of suitcases, clothes, and furnishings on the grass.

A microwave flies out of the girls’ and such trailer and lands on the mountain of things. Peter pokes his head out of the adjacent mobile home and he ducks just in time for a fork to go flying overhead.

“What on earth?” Scruffy scratches their chin.

Their question answers itself, though, as Scary storms out, tugging at their blonde hair with a wild expression on their face. “CHRIS!”

The intercom crackles to life, the feedback making everyone cover their ears for protection as it squeals. “Yeeeees?”

“I KNOW YOU’RE BEHIND THIS!”

Scruffy jogs over to the doorway and hovers in front of Scary. “What’s up?”

“That weasel took my notes- all of the notes I’ve been taking since we got here!” she groans. “This wouldn’t have happened if you were pulling your weight around here!”

“Hey, I’m staying in the game. Isn’t that enough?”

“No!”

“Well, this has been heartwarming,” Chris’ voice blares. “But you’re not so special, Scary- if everyone would please check their belongings...”

Scruffy thinks for a moment, and then pats their pockets. “My whistle!”

Peter digs around his shirt. “My girlfriend!”

A piercing shriek, louder than both Scary and the intercom feedback, makes everyone wince. Fren dashes out of the trailer, dumping an empty drawer on the ground. “My clothes! That sadist took my clothes!” he drops to his knees and cries out to the heavens as the rain pours down. “THAT MONSTER!”

Max stands in the doorway of the trailer, rolling his eyes.

---

MAX: “So, Chris took some stuff. Big deal. This is probably some dumb pirate treasure hunt episode, and at the end of the challenge he’ll reveal he actually burned all of our things and the grand prize is a bag of chips,” he sighs. “Still, it’d be nice if he chose something other than my shoes to take.”

---

The rain continues pouring down on camp, the water pooling on the top of the craft services tent and weighing down on it. O watches the rain indent the fabric and grits his teeth nervously.

No one else seems to notice, though, as they’re all busy dealing with the recoil from their missing necessities. Scary is hurriedly leafing through a physics book, surrounded by other open editions, Fren has had to substitute his usual flair for plain black clothes lended by the interns, and Max is wearing a pair of O’s sneakers.

Only Scruffy still seems chipper, hurriedly weaving something out of grass.

---

SCRUFFY: “In preparation for Total Takes Island, I took a weaving class, a spinning class, a sewing class, and swim aerobics. That last one was free,”

---

They finish their creation, and hold up a tiny horn as a whistle substitute. “Alright, I’m up! If I'm fast, I'll get 30 in before the challenge!” they shout, standing and jogging outside for their laps.

Fren nervously twirls a strand of hair around his finger at one end of the long table. He looks down at his outfit, then back up around the room, then to the camera. “Please tell me the cameras are still capturing my colors?”

The camera man shakes his head. Fren sighs.

Peter walks over and sets his breakfast tray on the table next to Fren. “Everything okay?”

He puts on a smile and looks up. “Great!”

Peter doesn’t look quite convinced, but doesn’t push, anyway. “Hey, wait, didn’t you once design a whole fashion line out of palm leaves and dental floss?”

“This is different!"

Max raises an eyebrow from across the table. The intercom crackles to life and Chris’ voice blares over the sound of the rain.

“Good morning, victims! Get your butts outside the craft services tent, ASAP!”

Scruffy groans from afar.

---

The small group of campers huddles outside the trailers, looking between each other as they’re drenched in rain. Chris, decked out in a raincoat and holding an umbrella, smiles warmly.

“Great weather we’re having, huh?”

“Cut to the chase,” Scary’s eyes narrow.

He chuckles. “Alright, alright. Today’s challenge is simple- or is it? This episode is all about mystery, suspense, and the unknown,”

Max pipes up from the back, eyes wide. “You don’t mean?”

“Oh, I do. Today’s theme is detective noir!”

Scary rolls their eyes and no one else really reacts to the news, though everyone turns around after a high-pitched squeal comes from the back of the group. Max stares back, then clears his throat and straightens his tie.

“Alright then,” Chris chuckles. “I’m sure a few of you have noticed you’re missing a few meaningless souvenirs-”

“MEANINGLESS?!” Fren shrieks. This time, it’s him everyone stares at. He chuckles nervously. “I’m just saying!”

“I hate to admit that he’s right, but…” Scary sighs. “I need my notes back.”

“…And I’m sure you’re all wondering how you’re going to get them back,” Chris smiles. “All these questions and more will be answered… by YOU! Here's the deal: one of you was paid six hundred dollars by moi to swipe from your fellow contestants- who? That’s for everyone else to decide! You'll have the day to hunt for clues, collect evidence, and then when your time is up, you'll all vote on the suspect.”

“Wow!” Peter says. “Kind of like Am-”

“COPYRIGHT!” Chris shouts. “And it’s nothing like that! You have until the end of the day to catch the culprit and recover the missing goods. There’ll be some fun surprises along the way, too.”

“Define fun,” O asks.

Chris chuckles. “Oh, you’ll know. Ciao!”

The host walks off, leaving the last six competitors behind.

---

SCARY: “One of these rats stole the weeks worth of notes I’ve been building my case with. If I can’t get them back, goodbye lawsuit, goodbye Chris McLean lifetime prison sentence!”

---

PETER: “I’m not too worried about the missing goods,” he pulls another picture out of his back pocket. “I always carry a spare! But I am worried about everyone turning on each other. I don't want to pick sides...”

---

SCRUFFY: “Yes! Okay- so not only is this a totally chill, laid-back, relaxed, super fun easy fun challenge, it’s also got something to do with physical harm- based on Chris’ tone! I can ace this!” their eye twitches.

---

Fren wails in the confessional.

---

MAX: “What? Why should I care about this challenge?” he pauses and then grins. “Okay, fine- I love mysteries! Capers, cold cases, riddles, puzzles- I even have a detective alter-ego named Raleigh Dubois-” he pauses and turns red. “I’ve said too much.”

---

O: “I’m just hoping nobody figures out that nothing was stolen from me. I don’t know why, but Chris put a massive target on my back- I don’t even have a fighting chance, and I'm a terrible liar...”

---

The remaining players sit around the table in the craft services tent, looking between each other in silence. The air is thick with electricity- either from the rising tensions, or from the lightning outside.

Finally, Peter breaks. “I can’t stand this! Why can’t we just work together?!”

“That’s not how this works,” Scary snaps. “Now, we just have to wait until the culprit snaps under the pressure, I can get my notes back, and they’ll be sent home- with a broken spine!”

“That’s it!” Max stands, slamming his fists on the table. “If you all want to take the easy way out, that’s fine- but I respect the sanctity of an open case, and I’m going to solve this on my own!”

He storms out. Scary rolls her eyes.

---

MAX: “I came back for Michela. And to get out of that terrible peanut gallery, but mostly for Chel. Now, she’s gone, and until today, I had nothing left to keep going for- but now I have a purpose! I have a motive! I have a case!” he pauses, then pulls a fedora out from under the counter, fixing it on his head. “Raleigh Dubois is on it!”

---

Max sits in a dark room, adjusting a lamp light. He angles it upwards and shines it in someone’s face. They wince.

“Is that really necessary?” Peter asks.

“Very,” Max says. “I find the blinding light to be… calming. Makes a liar nervous and an innocent man blind.”

“How is that fair?”

“It works for me,” he shrugs, then pulls out a notepad. “Run me through your day. Take your time.”

---

“Well…” Scruffy says. “I got up at 5:00 AM sharp, got dressed, brushed my teeth, then I heard this terrible banshee scream…”

---

Scary rolls her eyes. “I went to add the weather for my daily log and my notes were missing. My notes. My notes! For idiots like you, that’d be like waking up and missing a leg!”

---

“Where to start?” Fren thinks. “Well, as per usual, I went to Chef to see if I received any fan mail…”

Max looks up from his notepad, eyebrow raised. “Did you?”

“Ahaha!” he grins. “Of course! Tons!”

---

O quivers. “I-I-I um.. I- I- where’s my lawyer?!”

Max stares back. “I just asked you to state your name,”

---

“It was obviously targeted. So whoever did it must’ve known these notes are important to you,” Max says, clicking his ballpoint pen. “I would ask if you have any enemies, but that’d be a rhetorical question.”

Scary bares her teeth. “How am I supposed to know that you’re not the sellout?”

“I might be. What're you gonna do?”

---

Fren smiles confidently. “After an hour lost on the streets of New Delhi, we found our way to the river-”

“This has nothing to do with the question,”

“It does so! You asked what I was missing, and I’m giving you a detailed account of each item,” he crosses his arms. “You should be thanking me. Anyway, let’s talk about my cashmere scarf. It was winter in the Swiss Alps…”

Max massages his temples and groans.

---

“My whistle,” Scruffy thinks. “An odd choice, considering I have my own notes in the trailer… maybe the thief only cares about Fren and Scary!”

“It’s not necessarily the object, it’s the obstacle it creates,” Max mutters, taking down notes. “Your whistle helps you with your… “training”, so taking it caused you to miss your two hours this morning.”

“Ah! Right! I knew that!” they nod. "I totally knew that!"

Max rolls his eyes.

---

“What am I missing?!” O chuckles nervously, scratching his arm rapidly. “My, um… my catcher’s mitt! It was my grandpa’s, it’s a family heirloom! I take it everywhere, it’s lucky!”

“Really,” Max raises an eyebrow.

O laughs like an insane person.

---

MAX: “So far, not much. All I’m sure of is that whoever did the swiping obviously knows their way around the cast. They have a lot of observational skills, and they’re brave enough to seriously hurt someone’s feelings- or pride. That cuts out Peter,” he thinks aloud. “Scary wouldn’t take the 600 at the price she’s holding over Chris’ head, plus everyone would suspect her. O… I’m not sure.”

---

Scary sits on the steps to the trailer, munching popcorn and watching Fren and Scruffy argue over who’s missing memento is more important.

“Max said it himself! It’s not the object, it’s the symbolism!” Scruffy shouts.

Max’s voice rings out from inside the trailer. “Not what I said!”

Fren scoffs, offended. “As if my clothes aren’t symbolic! I’m not some cheap whore, I have goals, you know!”

“Outside of clothes?” Scary chuckles. “Please.”

“Oh, you'd be surprised. I mean- I did charity work in the Himalayas!” Fren shrieks. “I am a person of substance and interest!”

Max pokes his head out of the trailer, holding a few plastic bags. “Can you keep it down out here? I’m trying to focus,”

“On what? Role-playing?" Scary rolls her eyes. “Please. We all know you’re the thief, anyway.”

“In your dreams,”

“You are most certainly not a part of my dreams,” she scoffs. “Unless you’re dead or in prison.”

Max rolls his eyes and goes back inside the cabin, Scruffy following as he and Fren disperse. Scary rolls her eyes.

---

SCARY: “What do I think? It was O. Obviously. He’s been avoiding us all day- not exactly a great secret-keeper. But I want to drag this out as long as possible, to teach a certain green-haired traitor a lesson,”

---

"So, we can all agree that it's O, right?" Scary asks, flicking a dust bunny off their lab coat.

Peter and Fren look between each other as they huddle around the table in the craft services tent.

"Why?" Peter finally asks.

"Duh. He's an observant therapy-freak so he knows all our weaknesses, he's been missing all day, and nothing of his was taken," Scary sighs. "While Max has been busy getting that stick out of his ass, I went through O's things, and nothing was out of place! I catalogue everyone's belongings at the beginning of every week, so I would know."

"You what?"

"Irrelevant. He's so obviously the culprit,"

---

SCARY: "I know nothing about detective work, or human drama, but... I feel like I'm aceing this,"

---

Scruffy rocks back and forth on the floor in the trailer, mumbling to themselves as Max digs through suitcases and looks under beds. After the trainee starts biting themselves, Max sighs and turns. “Can I help you?”

“No, no, I’m fine! I’m fine! Totally staying in the competition, I totally know what’s going on all the time! I am super chill!”

“Jesus Christ,” Max mutters under his breath.

---

MAX: “So this is pure, unbridled insanity. I can cross Scruffy off the list, unless they're secretly an A-list actor. No... but that is an interesting thought, isn't it? Someone who acts overwhelming as a cover...”

---

He peers out of the doorway and watches as Fren paces around the grass, throwing his hands up and kicking his legs out and groaning.

---

"It's gotta be five o'clock by now," Scary murmurs, pacing around the craft services tent. "Where is he? Where could he hide?"

No one responds. Peter is busy twirling his thumbs, Fren is picking at the scratchy, unflattering sweater he was given, and Scruffy- recently relocated from the trailer- is scribbling nonsense in the dirt.

"Pete, go check the bathrooms," Scary instructs, pointing outside into the dark, pouring rain.

He winces, but doesn't push back, standing and disappearing into the dark.

Scary puts her hands on her hips and huffs, looking around. "Where's the pipsqueak?"

---

The emerald green equipment tent provides adequate cover from the rain- although the wind blows in a few drops as Max opens one of the flaps and sneaks inside.

He surveys the area for interns, and once the coast is clear, he sets up a PC and enters a few passwords before cracking into the system with “chrisisawesome1”. He pulls up a search engine and takes a deep breath.

---

Peter, holding O's hand, coaxes him back into the craft services tent with the promise that no harm will come to him.

"It'll be fine, there are witnesses!"

"That's not helpful!" O whisper-shouts back.

Sure enough, as soon as he's inside, Scary pounces on him and drags him to the table, handcuffing him to the leg while he shrieks and struggles.

"Can it, limp noodle!" he snaps. "We know you did it- and as soon as the shrimp is back, we're voting you out. Bye-bye!"

"Hey, hey, we haven't reached a consensus yet," Peter says, trying to mediate.

"Can it!"

Scruffy holds up a finger. "No- he's right- we need evidence! We need-"

"You're next, jellybean," Scary narrows her eyes. "In fact, you're my next choice- trying to make everyone's lives harder so you get an easy ride to the finale, huh?"

"I don't even want to go to the finale, I just want to know how this game works!"

Scary drops O and storms over to the corner Scruffy is in. "Here's how this works: you don't abandon your lab partner for a stupid rigged game show just because it hurts your frail little ego! Not everything is about Total Drama!"

"You're wrong!" Scruffy sobs, holding their head in their hands. "Total Drama is life!"

"Oh my God- How am I not the craziest person on this island!"

Fren scratches his arm. "You'll all have your time,"

"What was that?"

"Nothing,"

The tent flap suddenly flies open and Chris walks in, carried in a throne with a roof by four struggling interns. They set his chair down at the end of the table and scamper away.

"Good evening, campers. Have we reached a verdict?”

Everyone falls silent. Scruffy hangs their head. O says a prayer. Finally, Scary speaks: "I think we have,"

The players look between each other.

“Only one of us had nothing stolen- only one of us could be stupidly pressured into taking $600 over a million- only one of us was gone almost all day,” Scary claps her hands for emphasis. “O is the thief!”

O protests. “No! I don’t know why nothing was stolen from me! I’m innocent!”

“Lies!”

The campers break out into argument- as they do, the tent flap opens again and Max walks in, grinning. Scary pauses from yelling at Scruffy to scoff. “What’re you so smug about?”

“You’re wrong,”

“Excuse me, shortstack?”

“You’re wrong. And a shoddy detective,” he stands, pacing the room. “I’ll admit, even I was fooled for a while- O has the motive, the know-how, and a shoddy alibi- he’s a smart guy. But not as smart as a certain someone in this room.”

“No need to pat your own back,” Scary rolls her eyes.

“I wasn’t talking about me,” Max says, pulling a stack of papers from his blazer and slamming them down on the table. The players, and Chris, crowd around them.

The top of the stack is a picture of a familiar face, standing on a stage- the headline reading “Teen Theatre Prodigy Awarded in London”.

“From the start, I was suspicious. We all knew he was lying in one way or another, but... what if he wasn't?" Max says, pacing. "What if Fren really has done all those things... as characters?"

The table goes silent, looking between each other. The silence holds until it’s pierced by a delightful, almost cheerful laugh. Fren chuckles, wiping a tear from his eye.

“Oh, God, it took you all so long!”

“What?” Scary demands, staring at him. “What are you talking about?!”

He sighs and leans forward, balancing his head in his palms. “It was almost too easy! A movie-based season? For an auteur? An artiste? A free exercise in my skills, with a monetary prize?” he grins. “The “Frendom”? My fans from back home. I have a lot, after all. All my elaborate stories, my impeccable personality? ‘Fren’ was a fascinating character to play, almost corny in how over-exaggerated he is. Alas, that kind of swagger is brushed off in this show.”

Max smiles triumphantly as Fren pulls off his baggy sweater, revealing a black shirt underneath with everyone's items strapped to his torso.

“At some point, I just began seeing how far I could push this before someone started suspecting something,” he chuckles, tossing everyone their things. “I salute you, Maxwell.”

“It’s just Max, actually,”

“Whatever,” Fren says. “Congratulations on out-smarting Miss Poser.” he jabs his thumb in Scary’s direction. She growls. “Oh, don’t be like that. You’ll get your due. Most of you will.”

“Well,” Chris grins. “I think it’s safe to say that Max has won immunity today- the rest of you, I’ll see later!”

Chris walks off and Scary growls, storming after him. Fren grins.

---

FREN: "Was it manipulative? Yes. Was it deceptive, scheming, conniving? Absolutely. But I served, and if anything- I wasn't boring. After my character- the beta Fren from Island- failed right off the bat, I realized I was going to have to add some extra spice to my performance. And oh, did it flourish from there! I could've made such an excellent antagonist, if I hadn't gone for the "insecurities revealed" plot... alas, there's always the next season,"

---

Fren leans against the boy's trailer, Peter next to him. The rain has finally cleared up and the late afternoon sun is beaming down on the set. “So it was all a character?” the shorter brunet asks.

“More or less- I like to give all my characters a little sprinkle of myself. Fren is me, I am Fren, but we’re different. Understand?”

Peter rubs his head. “I think. Are we still friends?”

“Mmm… no. But we can be,” Fren holds out his hand for a shake. “My legal name is Alistair.”

“Peter!” he eagerly accepts the gesture.

A loud scream emanates from the communal bathrooms and Scary runs out in a towel, clutching their head- their perfect blonde hair changed to a deep, midnight black.

Peter and Fren watch him run to the trailers to attack Max with a large stick.

“Was that you?” Peter asks.

Fren shrugs. “Hey, the hair dye in the confessionals is free. Now she can be a proper emo, and maybe get some acting lessons- her character last season was so dull!”

---

“Well, players… much to talk about today,” Chris chuckles. “Fren pulled a Scary on us and revealed Fren-ception… mostly thanks to Max’s expert detective skills. Or should I say Raleigh’s?” Max turns red and glares. “Nonetheless, it won him immunity, and put the rest of the cast on the chopping block.”

“Our first Gilded Chris goes to… Scruffy,”

“Peter,”

“Scary,”

“O- you unintentionally mislead everyone by acting weird… by trying not to act weird. And you cost Scary the immunity- great work, dude! And Fren- though your acting skills and secret villainy are admired, you also mislead… everyone!” Chris grins. “And the last Gilded Chris… goes to…”

“…O. Sorry, Fren. Maybe next time!”

Fren grins and stands, waving goodbye to the cast as he walks the red carpet. “Don’t worry about me, friends! I’ll be on a real red carpet soon!”

The cast watches him disappear into the Lame-o-Sine and drive off.

“Riveting! Is anyone who they say they are? Will Scary stay emo? Find out next time, on Total! Takes! Action!”

[doomed-stickfigure-yuri]

okay here we go. Episode 1. Pilot. Hehehe…

seagulls… foreshadowing?? also I’ve seen a lot of Scrooge and Stan comparisons so let’s see what occurs. wonder when his trauma will/when it happened….

DONALD DUCK!!! OH HE CARES ABOUT HIS NEPHEWS…. HE SOUNDS SO FUNNY AND CUTE… WHERES THE BLUE ONE? oh shit the blue one is fucking up the boat…. Oh he tried to escape…. damn. THEY LIVE ON A BOAT!!!!

oh these three are going to be so disappointed in this guy at the beginning… HUH.

DAVID TENNANT IS FUCKING SCROOGE MCDUCK!?!?!? I THOUGHT HE WAS A FUCKING. SIDE CHARACTER OR SOMETHING. YOU DIDNT TELL ME THAT EMBER. WDYM HE’S SCROOGE MCDUCK—I CANT—I CANTTTSYBSUSHSHSHWH UNCLE?!?!?!?!? HES THE FUCKING GREAT UNCLE?!?!?!? OH I LOVE THESE GUYS WDYM EISBSUBEUWBEWJSBEJEN

“I AM THE RICHEST DUCK IN THE WORLD!” “YOU’RE WELCOME!”

ah so he’s disillusioned from the riches of the world because he’s been in the nitty gritty shit. doesn’t see the joy anymore and the kids are gonna change that. calling it now….

he counted the marbles…………… and they were kidnapped…

oh nvm they’re fine. green hoodie foreshadowing… also where the FUCK are we webbY??? oh nvm explained. I gotta stop writing down every single thought man……also this guy DOES have trauma I fucking knew it…

oh he’s so fun. why. HE’S SO CUTE WTF. so weird to think that he was filming good omens and ducktales simultaneously. fuck

does webby not go to school.

oh so donald is a retired loser. hell yeah

so MUCH MAGIC SHIT

NO GET BACK YOU’RE OLD

OHHHHHHHHHFUCKKKKKKKKHES. OH. OH HES. FUCKING. THERES YOUR HEAD. WYDM. OH. OHHHHH SHITITJRBEUEBED DN HESSOOOOOOOOO??? SCROOGE PLEASE????

oof dragon.

it’ll take more than a bruised spine….!!!! NHYAUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

love how the triplets aren’t the ones doing the stunts but thought of them and let the expiernced guy do the work. idk why but. it’s nice. ALSO THAT DUCK DID NOT LAND ON THAT MONEY SMOOTHLY. TF????

GOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD HE MISSED TROUBLE I FUCKING CANT. SONOF A BITCH. OH THEYRE GOING TO ATLANTISH FROM EARLIER. NO ONE TELL DONALD. FUCK. OH OKAY DOUBLE FUCK DONALD’S JOB IS A TIE IN—

okay that’s episode one holy shit. how did I fall in love with duck david tennant so quickly. damn. these guys?? oh I love these guys wtf. webby. I love webby. the green one is my favorite rn. Scrooge and Donald have history I just know it, as well as the old lady duck whom I have not gotten the name of nor what she actually does in mcduck manor. last one; I’m guessing that the season finale/later arc/maybe even next episode is going to have the new duck gang try and tell Donald that his employer is evil and only wants his help with Atlantis, and Donald is gonna HATE that because this job is finally what’s getting his family afloat after so long unemployed. (probably has something to do with Scrooge’s infinite wealth because it’s strange that they did shit together and Donald got nothing? (Also a pretty unique dynamic—uncle and nephew adventuring together…. there’s definitely something deep there) he’ll think that his nephews are just trying to get him to quite because either they miss him, are jealous, or want their old life back. I don’t know. Donald’s over caution is also definitely a result of treasure hunting. Maybe definitely. I don’t know

okay OKAY true last one; the tricks mention when Donald gave up the kids. no tricks no nothing. that’s important isn’t it…. hm. anyways BEST THING 10/10 YIIPIE!!!!

RHIS WAS WODNERFUL TO READ YESYEYS FBSKHDKSJDJD . I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT BITS TO RESPOND TO BUT EEEEEEE. ALSO YEAH IT ALSO SURREAL ON MY END TOO LIKE HI SCROOGE MCDUCK AKA CROWLEY PLEASE DONT COMMIT ATROCITIES. ALSO THE GREEN ONE IS LOUIE AND YEAH HE IS SO !! I CONSTANTLY FLIP BETWEEN WHICH IS MY FAV OUT OF THE TRIPLETS BUT HE WAS MY FAV FOR A GOOD WHILE !!