#dubious parenting
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Bedtime
CW: hypnosis, parental whumper, dubious parenting
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"Hey, buddy. Still up?"
Thin metal creaked as Dad sat on the edge of his cot, the scrunch of his eyebrows telling Ben that "It's way past your bedtime, young man."
"I'm not tired," he mumbled and stared back into the dark office, its walls only illuminated by the red sheen of a lava lamp. Blobs of plasma danced in soft lighting.
"After keeping four kids at bay all afternoon, you're not tired?" his dad laughed, "Somehow, I don't believe you."
But Ben simply shrugged, his pout a bit too melancholic for Shepard's liking. His hands now carded slowly through his son's curls, still a bit damp from washing the campfire smoke out of them tonight. Only one person had the power to thicken the peaceful calm between them. After a few minutes, Ben admitted it too: "I hope Luke's doing okay, I miss him."
And Avery, though he felt glad no one could see him blush in the semi-dark.
"I do too, I missed both of you," Shepard mumbled, as if the thought squeezed all the air out of his chest, "Every day."
Ben's focus turned back to the radiant spheres of lava: joining, bouncing, fusing into each other. He couldn't stop thinking about his brother and how furious he surely was with him for coming back home to Dad, not until gentle fingers began tracing over his cheek, nose and down his nape. Melting into the touch, Ben's already unfocused eyes were caught in the mesmerizing flow of plasma.
"'m not tired."
His dizzy head sank into the pillow, any protest getting smothered by cotton. The soft rhythm with which Ben's chest rose and fell, though, proved the opposite.
"Of course you're not."
Flickering lights always got him the best, and his dad knew it. With a warm kiss on his temple, another day together came to an end.
"Good night."
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Thanks for reading 🤍 [Masterlist]
Prompts: gaslighting/hypnosis/brainwashing
@augusnippets
#augusnippets day 1#whump#whumpblr#whump community#drabble#hypnosis#parental whumper#carewhumper#dubious parenting#gaslighting#brainwashing#conditioned whumpee
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The thing is, Steve has learned, that becoming untouchable isn't all he wants it to be.
People were too quick to try and reach out for him, ask for more than he was willing to give. He hadn't wanted to give up his first kiss to some random girl at some random boy's twelfth birthday party because of spin the bottle. He hadn't wanted to play Seven Minutes in Heaven with Jenny Jackson or Linda Simons at Tommy's birthday party the following year. He did want to take Mary Linscott to Snow Ball, but she just wanted to make out behind the bleachers instead of dance with him. He didn't want to do that but then Brian called him stupid for not wanting to, and asked if he was queer. So, Steve had turned right back around and dragged Mary back under the bleachers, kissing her until it was time to go to prove Brian wrong.
(Even though Steve knows Brian isn't wrong. That Steve had wanted to ask Brian to the dance as much as he'd wanted to ask Mary but knew better than to do that. He saw how they treated Eddie Munson last year for the suspicion of liking other boys and Steve wasn't going to let that happen to himself.)
Brian had congratulated him after and asked what base he got to. Steve didn't want to get to any bases, but he couldn't say that, so he just punched Brian in the arm and said 'more bases than you' which was true because Brian's date didn't kiss him even once.
Then Carol Perkins approached him at lunch, shortly after Snow Ball, and asked if Steve would be her first kiss. Not because she wanted to kiss Steve, but because she wanted to kiss Tommy H, but didn't want to be bad at kissing. Steve agreed because he liked Carol. Not in the way she liked Tommy, but mostly because she'd asked.
No one had done that yet.
She came over to his house on a Saturday because she didn't want Tommy to catch them and think she didn't like him. They made out in his room because, despite his parents being home, they didn't really care who was in his room with him or if the door was open or shut. Probably didn't even notice he had someone over. She leaves an hour later.
By Tuesday Tommy and Carol are an item and by Friday they were Steve's best friends.
However, for reasons Steve doesn't understand, more girls keep asking him to be their first kiss. And maybe it's because he's already got a reputation, or maybe Carol let slip he'd said yes when she asked, but Steve finds himself kissing a lot of girls he doesn't want to. He doesn't know how to say no. Can't find a reason too. Brian's words play in the back of his mind every time he thinks about saying no.
(Are you stupid? Are you queer? He doesn't want to be either of those things, and given his grade in biology and pre-algebra, he's really only got a hope of avoiding the queer label. His father would tolerate a stupid son. He doesn't think he'd survive if his father had a queer one.)
There are a few girls he's been crushing on that ask him and that was nice. One, Alice Baker, even becomes his girlfriend for a month. His first relationship.
Soon eighth grade gives way to being a freshman and Steve, who has always been handsome and cute, catches the eye of upperclassmen now.
And Steve's not sure how it happens, but he ends up moving past first base with another girl whose name he can't remember, or possibly never knew. He doesn't remember asking her for hers when she led him into one of the bedrooms at the house this party was at while he was way too tipsy.
And then it just grows. The reputation and what people expect from him, and he doesn't want it, but he's never said no before so can he start now? Doesn't he need a reason to say no? If he doesn't have a reason, does that make him queer? He should be wanting this. What boy doesn't want this?
And maybe he does want it. But not like this.
He doesn't want to be slightly drunk at yet another party, following the first girl that grabs his wrist and pulls him after her into whatever secluded area they can find. He doesn't want to keep saying yes when he wants to say no.
The summer between freshman and sophomore year he confides in Carol. It's a risk. Carol can be cruel, quick with her words to tear you down, to spread the rumor that will ruin your life. But she's also fiercely loyal.
He tells her he's tired of kissing people he doesn't want to.
Carol is quiet for a long time, and Steve almost thinks he's made a mistake. But then she speaks.
"Okay. Let's make a plan."
And they do. Then suddenly Steve is untouchable. Carol teaches him how to see the weakness in people and call it out. How to wield his facial expressions as a weapon and a shield. How to put on the air of being the most important person everywhere you go so well that everyone else begins to believe it. How to fall back on the fact his parents are rich, gone often, and, almost most importantly, well known in the community. It gives Steve's name a weight to throw around.
More importantly, all of that culminates in people no longer asking things of him. Instead, they look to him to take the lead, they wait to be asked. It makes Steve feel in charge of his life for once.
But now.
Now, years later, having survived a spring break from Hell and averted the apocalypse, Steve watches Eddie hang off Argyle with ease, fling an arm over Jonathan's shoulder while laughing at a joke, easily pull Dustin into a headlock or wrestling match.
Easy touches that Steve should be able to do, too. A jealousy wells inside him almost as much as the unease he feels in his stomach at the mere thought of letting them know they're allowed to reach out and touch him, too. That Eddie's allowed to reach out and touch.
But then he remembers what happened when he let people have that power over him and he can't bring himself to do it.
It settles in Steve, then, the realization. When you become untouchable, you're unable to touch.
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@nburkhardt @i-less-than-three-you adding my own lil bit of angst into the mix now (:
#pre steddie#my fic#cw dubious consent#internalized homophobia#steve kisses a lot of people he doesnt want to because of peer pressure and his own fear of not fitting in#it is also implied steve has sex with people when he didnt really want to#steve harrington has bad parents#touch-starved steve#also if you know the song that last line is from i am smooching the top of your head softly
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Fenton Street Food
"You know what's better than being a superhero? A street food vendor! Yes, superheroes can save the day, stop villains and receive hatred or admiration as the case may be, but a street vendor? They are at the heart of the action, fulfilling their dreams! They traveled the world feeding the masses, and even met superheroes, feeding them to keep them doing their duty, food carts are the centerpiece of keeping the heroes alive, they are the heroes..."
Maybe if Danny repeated it enough times he'd start to believe it, though seeing the monstrosity that was the Fenton food cart he highly doubted it. More so because it had fucking guns hidden next to the mutant and very alive Hot dogs (which by the way were not sellable, they were the mascots of the brand).
It all started when Jack Fenton talked about his dream of delivering his favorite food around the world, that fueled Maddie Fenton's idea, and since Jazz was in college and Danny was on vacation no one could stop them.
Soon Danny became a victim of his parents' eccentricities. Although the halfa had to admit that selling in Gotham was a lot of fun, thieves didn't think it was worth mugging him and the Rogues themselves bought his food of dubious origins.
It was almost a shame to have to change cities because Batman was getting too suspicious but Metropolis was waiting for him. And he would be back eventually; some bats who had enjoyed his strange roving food stall had waved him off with handkerchiefs, wiping away fake tears. Danny appreciated it.
Besides, Red Robin affirmed to him that he would recommend him to Superboy, so he wouldn't run out of customers anytime soon. He wondered if he should stop by Central City, the Flash Family ate a lot didn't they?
#dpxdc#The Fentons create another dubious business#Danny is the victim#technically Danny is a good chef#he learned from Jazz to cook as well as possible with the little they had available#which was very useful to survive at the Fenton house#And apparently it's also useful for being the face of the Fenton food cart#His parents tried to help at first but he kicked them out and took over the car#Danny didn't want dead customers#the Fenton food cart travels all over the world#offering food at low prices#dp x dc#dc x dp#Danny wonders what he's doing with his life at this point#his parents got bored of the food cart and left him alone while they went back to the lab#Danny doesn't know whether to be grateful or cry in frustration#maybe he will do both
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TOMMY: The war is done! Shut the door on it like I did.
#peaky blinders#peakyblindersgifs#tv#tvedit#hehe#the fascinating thing here is that arthur does show restraint and that he can control himself: he very much doesn't try to throttle tommy#even if he could have easily grabbed him fully round the throat and then lets go as well. it's not so much that tommy actively fights him#which makes the question whether or not he had control over killing that kid (or beating these other young men up) all the more dubious and#unsettling#but then again it's self-evident because he was seeking them out; he could have sparred with men of his own size/age/experience#if control was such an issue and he just wanted to have an outlet for his anger while not wanting to cause too much harm#he may not have wanted to kill the boy but he definitely wanted to hurt someone who couldn't defend himself#which is definitely painfully reminiscent of what happened with their father and arthur's lack of defense then and humiliation at his hands#it's not quite that arthur is a carbon copy of his dad but he tries to emulate him#there's a sympathetic layer here in that he can't grow past this hurt little boy he used to be and puts on this mask. but when does the#mask become the man and he has a body count by now and the question of accountability has to be raised at some point#& note that at the beginning of the scene tommy tells arthur that the boy had a weak heart#tommy's role here is not one of cruel and abusive enabler but one who navigates harm and tries to absolve arthur of his own guilt#while actually being understandably angry over all this#the way *this* entire scene and what leads up to it is misunderstood is very symptomatic in how their dynamic is generally read in a way#that is ... just not true#and very unfairly places tommy in a role of caretaker/parent to arthur's eternal irresponsible child#but arthur isn't a child; that's the problem
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there's nothing more old-fashioned than kicking around the yin-yang orb like a football.
#touhou#reimu hakurei#occasional art#occasional prompts#also featuring cameos from a variety of dubious characters.#this prompt is more than two years old. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry#at least now you get it in a style where i can actually draw. somewhat#believe not in your parents and all that.
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Alrighty fellas time for another one
(DPxDC) Batman Rogues ranked based on how good at parenting Danny (and co.) they would be
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Would probably actually be able to step up and be (relatively) good parents: The Penguin, Mr. Freeze.
They would have EXTREMELY different dynamics with Danny, but I think they could figure it out.
The Penguin would definitely only take in Danny to improve his reputation, and probably so that he could monopolize the use of a new meta’s abilities. (And perhaps to study him)
However, I think that attitude would last for at the absolute most a month, probably closer to two weeks, before he genuinely bonded with him. He’s like the dad who says he doesn’t want a pet, and then in a week they’re inseparable.
He’s not a good person, but I think he could probably end up being an awesome fucking dad. Also, there’s no way in hell anyone would mess with Danny. Not even close. If he found out Danny was getting bullied he’d ruin the bully’s fucking life.
He wouldn’t directly throw hands with a child, sure, but that’s only because it would look bad. He would, however, completely destroy their family’s careers and force them to leave Gotham out of shame.
Mr. Freeze is only a rogue because of his wife. Like, that’s it. He only wants (or wanted, depending on the version) for his wife to be cured and to live happily with her again. All of this is for her, either to help her or to avenge her.
That’s to say that yeah, if Danny managed to weasel his way into his heart, he would have a place with him forever.
He’d probably only interact with him at first because of the ice powers, but if Danny did manage to get closer to him (that’s a pretty big if) I think he’d do fucking anything for him, just like his wife.
He would raze the GiW to the ground for his boy.
They’d do alright probably. Nothing special, but it’d work out ok: Scarecrow, Ivy & Harley, Two-Face, Killer Croc.
Scarecrow is, funnily enough, not that bad. Like, is he genuinely deranged? Yes. Is he murderous and cruel? Yes. Does he have a moral compass that would absolutely support taking care of a child? Yes.
He’s been shown multiple times to genuinely care for people, even if it’s in his own way. Like, yeah, maybe fear-gas-themed murder and torture is a bit far sometimes, but it’s what he knows how to do.
Like, would he know how to take care of a kid? Hell no. But he does have a pretty good list of what not to do, courtesy of his own childhood, so he’d have a pretty alright start.
Ivy and Harley aren’t rated higher because I just don’t think they’d really be responsible enough for a child. I don’t doubt that they’d be able to love Danny, nor that they love each other, but they’re not very stable, and they don’t have a very good grasp on normalcy.
Like, they’d be incredibly cool aunts, or family friends, or something. I just don’t think that they’d do well being the sole guardians of a child or teenager.
I can’t stress this enough, I think they would genuinely love having Danny with all their hearts. I just don’t think that love alone is enough.
Avoiding that genuinely depressing thought, I think Two-Face would similarly be an awesome uncle to have, but wouldn’t do well at the actual “parenting” thing.
Like, he could keep a kid alive no problem, and he’d probably be awesome to have as a legal guardian and stuff, but there’s no way in hell he’d be able to keep Danny in line, for the sole reason of not really seeing a reason to.
However, if he got put in Arkham, he’d 100% not be above guilt-tripping Bruce into taking Danny in, so he does have backup options.
Killer Croc would be an awesome friend to Danny, but that man is in no way capable of being a parent.
He’s got a pretty short temper, and Danny is a little shit. There’d definitely be fighting. A lot of fighting. Croc still gets some points though because he’s a decent guy and I don’t doubt that he’d be willing to get help from the other rogues or even Batman should he need it.
Shouldn’t be trusted to keep a gerbil alive, yet are somehow still better at this than Maddie and Jack: The Riddler, Solomon Grundy
The Riddler is a childish, egotistical asshole with a bit of a god complex and a truckload of emotional baggage.
That being said, he’d still do better than Danny’s actual parents.
Partly because the bar is so low.
Like yeah, there’d be a lot of arguing, but I don’t think that he’d actually ever fight fight with Danny, mostly because he’d feel like he was turning into his father.
For the most part he’d be at the same level as Scarecrow or Killer Croc, I just put him lower because I think he’d forget to feed Danny sometimes. Still not as bad as the food coming alive to attack him though.
Solomon Grundy is pretty similar to Killer Croc in terms of how I think he and Danny would get along, I just think he’d be much worse at getting the things Danny needs to live and be happy.
He’d be cool as a weird uncle, or a friend, but he’d be pretty awful at being an actual parent.
The house is on fire, god is dead: Mad Hatter, Ra’s Al Ghul
Mad Hatter would have UNIMAGINABLE levels of beef with Danny. He would unironically throw hands with a child.
That being said, I think he’d genuinely like Danny.
Wouldn’t make up for anything, but I do think he’d at least not hate him.
Ra’s would be funny as hell no matter what.
He’d ALSO have unimaginable beef with Danny, but for entirely different reasons. He would spend all his time trying to convince Danny to become a member of the LOA and also to turn him fully immortal. Danny would buy him a “world’s okayest dad” mug and “I’m not the dad who stepped up” shirt. They would try to beat each other to death over Damian.
Danny would still probably choose him over Vlad in a heartbeat.
Getting dissected would have unironically been a better option: Joker
Your homework today is to watch Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker.
Because I know you won’t, I’m just gonna tell you that Joker has done some MK Ultra shit to a child before in order to mold it into a mini version of himself, and he’d absolutely do it again.
One of them would absolutely end up dead, and considering their track records, I’m not so sure it would be Joker.
#dcxdp#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#catwoman isn’t on here because she would just give him to bruce immediately#on the bright side if Joker ever obtained another child through dubious means I don’t doubt that Harley and Ivy would beat him to death#honestly out of everyone here I think being adopted by two-face would be the most fun by far#like mr. freeze would be a lot better at being an actual parent but two-face would be fun as hell#also scarecrow would just straight up murder someone for bullying Danny this man is not above killing kids if they’re being dicks#he’s literally done the slasher routine for some girl after she found out her friends all hated her and he’d do it again#the penguin would kill for Danny too I just don’t think he’d kill kids#older teens are up for debate however
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Danny Phantom AU where Jack and Maddie find out about Danny’s ghost powers basically immediately after the accident.
And they’re fully supportive, of course! He’s their son!
But also… think of all the data! They’ve never seen anything like this before, and it opens up entirely new opportunities for research! It could upend whole swaths of the current understanding of ectobiology!
So they rope Danny into being their lab assistant / test subject. But like, following more standard medical procedure stuff. Medical scans, blood tests, and so on. There could maybe be some exploratory surgery but it’d involve like, using anesthetic, trying to minimize harm, and supporting his recovery.
They’re still definitely not perfect at lab safety, but they’re not gonna do anything to intentionally harm or endanger their son.
#danny phantom#dp#danny phantom AU#dp prompt#dp fanfic prompt#danny phantom prompt#good fenton parents#well. maybe slightly dubious#but they’re trying. they have good intentions#…i’m not entirely sure how the hero stuff would work in this AU#like I can totally see Danny still wanting to fight ghosts and protect people#but there’s no way his parents wouldn’t want to help#and that’d be… chaotic. to say the least#or maybe they just focus on providing him specialized fenton tech
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do you think the abyss healed Childe’s scars?
realistically I know it’s stupid graphics & model “limitations”
But do you think his skin looks as normal as it did before he fell.
Cause when they’re hit, an abyss monster.
They disintegrate.
Do you think Ajax’s scars healed like that? In the abyss? After it, too?
Do you think they burned? Or was it numb, as the darkened skin faded away with little, yellow, glowing particles?
That he has no evidence of his suffering for those three months in hell (and his only companion’s silence) but dull eyes no one wants to look at?
Callouses on his hands and feet that no one pays attention to? Takes care of?
That he shows his prowess and uncanniness and abyssal hunger because that’s the only way how? Yes. he is hungry and wants a fight. Look at him. He’s off. Broken now.
Look at him.
Please.
#am I self projecting?#maybe#a little bit#Nothing like a mental breakdown from a sort of family dinner meeting new people to remind a mfer they’re fucked#it’s me I’m mfer#also abt that companion’s silence part#as much as I fucking Abhor genshin’s uwu-ifying of Skirk#and her characterization cause god fucking damn it hoyo Give him a good parental figure#She says she didn’t talk to him at all/the bare minimum cause she sees him as weak#what the fuck#How do you send your son that was missing for three fucking days Blow off his trauma And then send him to the military?#You don’t care about him.#skirk evidently doesn’t#And the tsarista is all up to interpretation and is dubious as an average#does childe have any caring parental figure? Who the fuck knows.#genshin impact#childe#tartaglia#childe tartaglia ajax#genshin ajax#tw vent#?#self projecting#it’s sad. isn’t it? to have suffered but have nothing to show for it.#Christ I’m fucked.#do u think I should go back to the social gathering?#:/#drink water#stay safe#<3
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They’re girlfriends your honor
#cassrose#rosecass#cassandra cain#rose wilson#batman fandom#batman family#batman#batfam#batfam social media#batman social media#batfam social media au#batgirls#batgirl#ravager#deathstroke#daughters of assassins unite#you have nothing to lose but your dubious parents#it’s a hate crime these two haven’t interacted in like ten years#actually make that twenty lol#I have so many thoughts about them#they’re girlfriends your honor#batfamily social media#batfamily social media au
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OOOO SUTEKH??? I was NOT expecting that!! Honestly SO glad they decided to bring in an old who classic instead of just bringing back a new who villain they’d already used a bunch or having it be a totally new threat with no history. that’s honestly so cool
#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#the legend of ruby sunday#doctor who sutekh#watched it with my parents and my dad who was kinda dubious about where it was heading#was SO excited like he basically started cheering#I haven’t seen as much old who as I’d like but pyramids of mars is one of the few stories I have seen in full#so I’m very happy about that too lol
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Fairies mate for life, you know.
Doodle based on @piperamitt's review of Frayed Knots Chapter 38 about the parallels between Wanda in her younger years and Poof's panic attack in "All I Ever Wanted." Yeah...
There's a Juandissimo sequel to this, but it's massive spoilers so it will have to wait <3
#Shout-out to City Lights Peri who got dumped before this plot point could hit and has no idea how close he's dancing to danger#Lavender Train arc is so important to me... it's about self-worth and figuring out what you really want. do u understand.#FAIRIES!#Frayed Knots#130 Prompts#ridwriting#Dragonfly parents#Purple hippie dragonfly#Cloudlands AU#ridspoilers#dubious consent#non con#rape#Those seem like the most likely tags for blocking
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Mystique canonically being Sherlock Holmes in Marvel comics and Irene being there and also knowing how the mysteries are all gonna go but letting Raven solve them anyways was peak “proving your AuDHD murder spouse with enrichment” huh?
Look at them, they’re so excited to be solving mysteries and wearing that silly hat
How to keep your impulsive trigger happy spouse occupied: riddles and mysteries
#my post#I love my silly morally dubious sapphic parents#Raven darholme my absolute beloved#this entire thing was so fun and unserious#thank you marvel#mystique#Destiny#raven darkholme#irene adler#x men#x men comics
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Really off topic but oh well
Was Alex's family involved in motorsports at all before Alex started his journey? Because his dad manages him (and sting ray rob apparently which, what?) so it appears he might have some experience?
Nope! No experience at all actually! His dad owned a landscaping company, but had no prior experience working in motorsports or managing a driver or anything like that. He was just a fan, he would take Alex to races and they’d camp through the whole weekend to watch Friday-Sunday and that just kind of fostered Alex’s passion for it.
Alex has always seemed really proud of his dad, talking about how much he had to learn and how dedicated he was to helping Alex succeed. That’s the reason Alex’s birthday became business dinners and why Alex was around his parents friends more than kids he was his own age, because they were very focused on securing him sponsors and money so they could continue to fund his career.
Alex has talked before though about how he was going to start his own management company with his dad (which I think is what we’re seeing with Sting Ray). So while his dad started with no experience, this is now something he considers his full time job and seems to be the thing both he and Alex are working toward growing.
#Alex lore#Pieter Rossi#<- sometimes I like him and sometimes I question his dubious parenting style#(always expecting perfection from Alex. timing his laps with a stop watch. always trying to micromanage)
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Chillicothe Independent, Volume 6, Number 34, 27 May 1882
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i've developed some interesting methods of handling having a relationship with my mother who made my childhood/teen years misery and committed more than a little abuse.
as an adult, we have a very different dynamic, her daughters (sister and i) have confronted her with a lot of her bullshit and the things she both did and enabled. for some she has been sorrowful and even sometimes apologetic. she's a better mother to me now than she ever was when i most needed one. so i'll never actually trust her again, and she'll never be much deeper than surface level in my life, but we have something mostly good now, and on my terms.
however, she is very definitely one of those "i don't remember it that way" and "i did the best i could" mothers in a lot of areas, and has also always been the type to (probably unconsciously) emotionally manipulate the people she's hurt into catering to her hurt feelings about it instead.
over the years i've learned to get really comfortable with just not indulging it.
is she having a bad day, seems sad and upset? i'll give her a hug, try to make her laugh. if she throws broad hints it's a surge of hurt feelings about having driven one of her children to cut her off? well i'm just gonna stand there and not acknowledge or entertain it.
"well, apparently i was a bad mother" or shit like that? i'm just gonna look at her for a second, and i might either shrug or even nod, but i'm not saying a damn thing. i'm not awkwardly, uncomfortably, painfully contorting to her guilt trip nonsense. i'm not apologizing or trying to soothe her or reassure her or minimize it.
like, yeah. you really were. you know it, glad to hear it. we've definitely had that talk.
best kindness, most generosity i can offer her in times like that is not maintaining eye contact to bluntly tell her "yeah, you were." she can go ahead and feel bad about it.
it's not on me to make her feel less bad. she should feel bad. and i am definitely not someone she gets to seek comfort from about it.
hopefully someday she'll inch past just "poor me, i'm so sad and angsty about it" towards, like, examining the whys and acknowledging what she actually did wrong and work actively to be be better. in a few places, some of that has happened.
but that's her work. her job and responsibility. she can do that shit on her own time.
i say all this to offer a shoulder of solidarity to others like me. if you maintain a complicated relationship as an adult with the parent who hurt you and did you wrong as a child, that is okay. you get to choose how and if to thread that needle.
but you don't have to accommodate emotional manipulation and guilt trip garbage. stonewall it. walk away if you need to. don't apologize. don't try to make it better. that's not on you and it doesn't have to be. it's okay.
#to her perhaps dubious 'credit'#this has shown genuine results#she has over the years pulled a lot less of that shit#of laying emotional traps to try and make me comfort her about how horrible she was to us as a mom#because she doesn't get the desired result#it's not an easy thing to make a choice to continue having a relationship with a parent like this#who caused you serious harm and painful long-lasting damage#especially not always intentionally generally not maliciously#the abuse was the abuse and it doesn't matter why#how she conducts herself now is what determines if i give her any chance to be any kind of decent mom now#and it's SO HARD at first#because that's your mom you LOVE your mom even through all the shit#you're hardwired to love your mom and you hate to see your mom hurt#instinct is to Make It Better#but that's not always the correct response it can be downright detrimental#to yourself and to her own personal growth towards being someone better#so you teach yourself to just Let Her Be Upset#she should be upset and in a case like this it may in fact be good for her#and it's just not my damn job to make her feel better and i don't mind making that plain#you grow more comfortable with it over time#hold your ground and your stance gets stronger with each step-back not taken#abuse mention
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Maladaptive daydreaming includes John and Dirk acquiring a child (reasons pending), with John offering Dirk assurances that he's not Bro, and John being somewhat confident in his capacity to care for a kid
Only for the whole thing to flip turnwise when John's attempts at fatherly bonding activates his hyper repressed grief and latent PTSD so he ends up the avoidant, deadbeat Dad and Dirk throwsdown with him every single time John misses little junior's talent show or PTA meeting
Side Note: Dirk is THE PTA parent, and rules the PTA with a titanium fist and they're basically a paramilitary organization now
(you dont want to know what he did to his only rival)
#homestuck#jake and dirk end up stay at home parents#dirkjohn#i SWEAR#but the dysfunctional kind where theyre this close to divorcing#but dirk dont quit strider cant see the difference between a dead horse and a live one#jane is up to dubious corporate practices#dirks paramilitarized PTA may be planning a coup#jake may or may not be a turncoat#this just ended up being if Dirk Lived in Candy isnt it#FUCK
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