#ds who work at big cat rescues

[ephemeral-winter]

unrelated to anything but i’m reflecting on how my mom’s cousin is one of the coolest and dykiest women i’ve ever met but her wife is an unbelievably bland midwestern housewife named susan and i have so many questions

[twigg96]

Tag Game: Ten True Facts About Me

Rules: Share 10 facts about yourself and tag other blogs! I want to get to know my mutuals, and the people I follow a little bit :) The facts can be about anything!

Tagged by: the lovely @ir0n-moon thank you so much my dear 💕💕

1. I used to be big into cosplay. I used to hand make cosplay costumes, props, and once even attempted to make a wig. I have only ever been to a few conventions but I miss the community I used to share with fellow cosplayers pre-Covid.

2. I had an Anime Amino if anyone remembers that app. This was back during an age before discord. Back during the time I took a break from Tumblr (2015-17? Maybe) I started on Amino to look for community and friendship during a time I felt like I had none. Amino was literally just a mix of Tumblr with random blogs and discord with its chat rooms option. People mostly used it for RPs and other community events. It was a great time honestly kinda sad they killed the site.

3. I love weird ass music. I’m not talking like “oh that new album by famous artist with a weird name” no! I’m talking music that will make normal people run screaming into the next room. Give me remixed pirate/Viking songs all day long. You don’t even have to remix them. I’ll take them as is if you’re feeling spicy. Heavy metal versions of songs that have no right being metal (Disney songs, pop songs, country). 🤤. Those artists are doing gods work. Random 80’s songs. The sluttiest dirtiest music you can think of. Jazz. All of it man I love all of it as long as it’s weird.

4. My very first fan fiction was written on fan fiction.net. I used to have two accounts it was because I forgot my password for the first one but then I used the second account more than the first so it all worked out. I kinda want to archive the stuff from those accounts onto AO3 even though I’m not in those fandoms anymore. Just so I have the content.

5. My first ever crushes were on Shego and Kim Possible from said show. I didn’t know how to verbalize this as a kid so I told everyone I loved Justin Timberlake from *NSYNC.

6. I’ve been thinking about publishing a few books. I have some ideas for a few novels, series, and kids books. I just don’t know where to start or even if they’re worth while.

7. I have two dogs and two cats! My puppies names are Maizy and Chihiro. They are both Labs and are just the cutest angel babies! My cats are Eevee and Oreo. Eevee is chunk rescue baby. Oreo is our prissy princess who needs to be held at all times.

8. I have never once reset one of my animal crossing villages. I’ve had three on three different games. Game Cube, DS, and Switch. I always do my best to name the village perfectly , I would do anything in my power to have the perfect neighborhood/ villagers, I would even piss off Mr. resetti back when he was a thing just to get a second chance to try an interaction again.

9. I’m thinking about starting to stream on Twitch. Nothing too serious. Just something fun that I can try to do!

10. I am a huge collector. I collect many things lol old books, (first editions, cool instructional books, books published earlier than 1955, All the Stephen King novels), ART! I love art. All of it. Prints from artists I buy from. Hand made pieces I randomly find at art fairs and craft shows, paintings, those mystery boxes that hold figurines in them I fucking love them so god damned much.

I think I’ll tag @nsfwitchy, @normanblowup, @morbid-pigeon, @el-michoacano, @gointothevvater, @gogomeaty,

[chaoticspacefam]

The Lana Shipping Meme!

This is a meme made by @swtor-legacy-sitcom​ who very kindly tagged me to fill it in, thank you! :D This was super fun, I’ve been in a bit of a writing rutt lately so this was a nice way to sort-of dip my toe back into it :P I TOTALLY forgot this was in my drafts and forgot to schedule it to post, I’m soooo sorry it took so long lmao 😳😬

I’m not sure if we’re supposed to tag other people with this one so I’ll just leave a general, open tag here: if you have a Lana ship and want to fill this one out, feel free to yoink the meme and say I tagged you! Yes, I promise I mean you <3

Spoilers for KOTFE/KOTET, and slight spoilers for the Subterfugeverse “version” of said events, will be discussed below, so be aware of that before proceeding! There’s also some midlly nsfw questions so you might wanna skip those if they’re not your thing! :D Under a cut because it’s long, but no trigger warnings need apply.

Is Lana Beniko absolutely done with their shit?

Oh yes, absolutely. Nearly always. At any given time, BUT Lana wouldn’t have it any other way. Saarai may be a reckless, overly-heroic idiot with seemingly no self-preservation, but she’s Lana’s reckless, overly-heroic idiot, ya know :’D

Do they make jokes together?

Fairly often, yes! Theirs is very much a flirty/fond banter type of relationship. Lana tells her she’s insufferable, Saarai rolls her eyes and snarks back, so on. See:

Saarai: Well this was a stupid idea Lana: Considering it was one of yours, I’m not surprised Saarai: Why didn’t you say something? Lana: I did and you did it anyway. And what have we learnt from this? Saarai, quietly: I’m a dumbass and I should listen to you more.... Lana: Good. I still love you, though. Saarai: :’D

Lana, two minutes later: You’re going to do it again, aren’t you? Saarai: Yeah, probably.

as well as that little cutscene “You’d better come back blah blah blah” “Well I have you to rescue me, that’s all I need~” is their default pre-dangerous battle banter :P

Who’s hornier? (who initiates)

Saarai is definitely hornier, and while she’s not always the one to initiate, she’s definitely the one to ask more often. (if I had to give it a number, prolly something like 65/45 lol) One of these days, Lana’s going to buy a spray bottle /jk

Kinkiest they’ve been?

Not awfully. Saarai’s a biter (Lana likes it, don’t worry 😏) and she loves it when Lana pulls her hair, but other than that, and making use of connections within the Force to heighten the sensations during such activities ;) they’re pretty vanilla

There was a post going around a while back about an alternative to a praise kink that was like, a “reassurance” kink, instead. I can’t find the actual post to link to it and I haven’t pinned down any specifics for them yet but I definitely think that’s a Saarai thing to look into later 😏

Has Lana ever covered up something your OC did as Minister of Intelligence?

In a roundabout way, yes. Technically, Saarai’s entire existence on Rishii. Since, teeechhnically, as far as the Empire’s concerned at that point, Rai’s supposed to be dead. Lana doesn’t know the technicalities of why that is (and Saarai isn’t comfortable telling her, even now), but she knows it’s important, so she does it for her even if she doesn’t know why.

Favorite non sexual downtime activity?

Cuddles! Saarai is a cuddlebug, and while Lana enjoys them she’s definitely not the “if I don’t get cuddled x times a day I can’t go on” type (in my headcanon, ofc, I’m not saying she can never be that way!) but, Saarai’s also very warm and cuddling her is cozy, so it’s something they both enjoy, whether Rai’s the big spoon, or - and this is Rai’s favourite thing ever - Saarai putting her head in Lana’s lap so Lana can play with her hair, it’s something they always do at the end of the day when they’re both done with work.

Mushiest thing Your OC has ever done for Lana?

So, I’m too impatient & lazy to do the actual HK missions in-game, but I know you can technically get another HK unit, so because ✨it’s my fanfic and I get to make the rules✨ Saarai sent Aria (my DS! Jedi Shadow, very good at stealth) back to Zakuul and though it was a bit battered up, she managed to retrieve HK’s processor. They had to get him a new chassis, but Koth and Ty managed to salvage the rest of his “important” bits and they rebuilt HK for her after they settled on Odessen :’3

Most Embarrassed Lana has ever been because of your OC?

In the middle of an important meeting, in front of everyone on the Alliance High Council, including Theron, Senya, Ni’kasi, Vano, etc.

Lana, sarcastically, after they’ve been disagreeing on how to handle a particular matter for ~1 hr: hahaha bite me.

Saarai, dead serious: Okay, where? 😏

Lana was mortified, to say the least XD

That thing that happened that they vow to NEVER speak of?

Saarai’s reaction when they went to Nathema. Rai’s psychometric, and in hindsight she realises putting her hand on that wall as she ducked into the building was a mistake. She was bombarded with flashback after flashback of what had happened on Nathema when it was still Medriaas, the planet where she was born and where most of her family died, it was not a pleasant experience for her and Rai actually collapsed at one stage because it was all too much for her ;w;

Lana had to bring her back around and herd her back on the ship, where Rai had to wait because she just couldn’t go any further, and Lana and Vano had to go on alone. Lana agreed not to tell anyone else about what had happened, because Saarai didn’t want any of them to worry about her, or think she was “weak” because of it.

The Angriest they’ve ever been at each other?

There’s actually two instances that come to mind for this one

1) Koth’s betrayal/stealing of the Gravestone, Lana was pissed at Koth and wanted to take it out on him, Saarai was pissed at the situation and got between them and chewed Lana out for taking it out on him. (Subterfugeverse is kinda complicated, there’s two Commanders calling the shots for different parts of the Alliance, Koth took issue with something Vano did and made the reckless, kinda stupid decision to still steal the Gravestone even tho Saarai didn’t do anything. (also for anyone new to the blog, all three of them are dating, they’re polyam ;)) Lana took it personally, Saarai was more upset that he was upset and didn’t say anything before he did something stupid. Rai and Lana butted heads about how to deal with it, Lana got salty cause she got yelled at, but they ofc fix it later :3)

2) Torian’s death. Saarai had tried to warn Lana what would happen if they split Vette & Torian up during that fight, Lana brushed it off and told Rai to “stop overreacting, it will be fine”. Obviously, it was not fine. Rai was very angry at the result because, I quote, “I WARNED YOU! And you wouldn’t listen to me!” Saarai refused to speak to Lana for a few days after that, it was kinda a rough time for Lana, she’s only seen Rai get that angry a few times, and only once at her so it shook her a bit. 😢

How does both Lana, and your OC initiate the ‘fade to black’ ;)

For Saarai, the “indicator” is usually when her kisses start to become 50/50 between kissing and biting/nibbling. That’s the universal “ok I want to” signal for Rai. Usually very quickly followed by a soft “yes?” or “are you sure?”, either against her skin or into her ear, depending on where she’s kissing at the time; because she’ll always check first, and if Lana says “no”, it’s off, because Lana’s consent is more important than any of her feelings.

For Lana, it’s when she’ll let Rai pick her up and/or usually to pin her to a wall. There’s a decent height difference, Saarai’s 6 ft 3, and I headcanon that while Lana’s not necessarily “short” at around 5 ft 8, she’s considerably smaller than Rai, as well as being more “reserved” with PDA, she’ll hold hands, or kiss her on the cheek etc. in front of other people, but otherwise Lana tries to keep somewhat “professional” while they’re at work. So when she starts climbing her like a tree, Rai knows she’s about to get some. XD

Do they have kids?

Kiiiinddd of? It’s complicated. Saarai has a son, Ty, from a previous relationship. Lana & Koth both sort of step up to help co-parent, but since Sith Purebloods age differently (i.e. they’re adults at ~20ish the same as humans, but after that they’re more like elves and their physical aging slows down, so they’re more long-lived), even though Ty’s very young by Pureblood standards, he’s still 60 years old, so he’s technically older than Lana and it’s kind of awkward for him to actually call her mom even if she kind of acts like one. He accidentally called her “mom” once, it was very awkward for both of them XD

What has been the most protective Lana has ever had of said kid?

I sat and scratched my head for ages trying to think of something to answer this question with, but I’m very sad to say that right now at the time of answering this meme, I don’t have any specific scenes planned out to tell you about! :( But rest assured that Lana absolutely would rush to help Ty if it was ever necessary :D

House pets? Is your Lana a dog person, or Cat person?

Funnily enough, they don’t actually have any pets! I’d like to think of Lana as more of a cat person than a dog person, in my personal opinion. But they have yet to get any pets of their own, maybeee later on, I dunno. Haven’t hit on any solid ideas for them yet, but I feel like if they happened upon a cute kitty they definitely could adopt one at some stage :’3

Do they get freaky on the Alliance Base or in the Shuttles?

They’ve done both, to be honest lol. Thankfully, Saarai’s sneaky enough that they haven’t gotten caught doing it, yet. Thank the Force.

Are their Sparring Matches Flirtatious? Hardcore?

They could go either way, it depends on what kind of mood they’re both in. If Lana’s particularly annoyed (usually not at Rai, but sometimes) then it’s more likely to be a hardcore spar, Rai’s a pretty tough cookie so she’ll often offer to be Lana’s punching bag in order to spare them some repair bills so she doesn’t rip apart the training dummies irrepairably, it’s okay, Rai can take it ;)

But if they’re both in an otherwise good mood and are just sparring for practise sakes, then yes, they often very quickly devolve into flirtacious banter and some of the classics, you know, “okay you win, you can let me go now” “mmm, nah” “I thought we were sparring” “do you want me to stop” “...don’t you dare.” etc. :’D

Class Specific things that play into their relationship?

Saarai’s a Juggernaut, and I headcanon Lana’s probably some sort of Sorcerer, so they tend to fight as such. They cover each other in more ways than one, if you want to get to Lana you have to go through Saarai first (and good luck to you, that woman can take and give a fucking beating lmao). Lana picks off whatever Saarai’s saber misses, usually with Force attacks but sometimes with her saber, too. Saarai takes bullets for Lana so Lana doesn’t have to get hurt. Lana yells at Rai for doing that and then fixes her up with Force healing afterwards, rinse and repeat. :’D

When they do argue, Lana tends to spontaneously manifest Force lightning, Saarai’s used to it and doesn’t bat an eyelid, she knows Lana’s not actually going to throw it at her and she’s more than prepared to dodge any stray bolts that do come her way.

Lana’s the tactician and the ground support, Saarai’s the battering ram/the bigass hammer used to clear space when Lana needs a bit of extra “oomph” (and trust me, they’re usually never far apart. The other one will be there and then you’ll be in trouble lmao)

Describe a time your OC went ‘Full beast mode’ to protect Lana, instead of the other way around?

"Kriff. Koth, what happened?” Three words was all it took, and everything made sense: “They hurt Lana.”

That scene in the Endless Swamps on Zakuul, just before they pull the Gravestone out of it and Lana and the Commander get ambushed. Saarai went with Lana & Koth to break Vano out of carbonite (since Saarai was still on Rishii at the time, she doesn’t get frozen, only Vano) so when they split up, Saarai goes with Koth to look for ship parts while Vano goes with Lana to look for water.

Lana and Vano get ambushed by the Knights/Skytroopers, and Lana’s hand gets busted. It takes Saarai and Koth a little while to rush over there to help them, but when they do

Saarai. Goes. Fucking. Feral. It’s the scariest she’s ever been in front of Lana and Lana will never forget it, they almost didn’t really need Senya’s help for that part, Saarai basically had it covered. I imagine Lana later described it as “kind of hot, but also kind of terrifying, actually”

Saarai’s considered Chaotic Good, so generally speaking if there’s a peaceful, non-violent solution to a problem, she’ll opt for that, but she has a few buttons that you just do not want to push, ever. And hurting her partners is one of those buttons. She will go apeshit and that’s exactly what happened in the swamp lmao

Little things couples do to annoy each other. What does Lana do? What does your OC do?

Saarai likes to wake up early and hide Lana’s kaf mug in increasingly ridiculous places. Once, she even got Koth to help her stick it to the top of the Gravestone’s hull. It took Lana half the morning to find it, Lana was not amused. XD

Saarai and Koth also have an ongoing “terrible puns” contest where they basically see who can annoy Lana with the most ridiculous puns possible, see this post for an example :P Lana wonders where/how they keep coming up with these puns, she really does.

Does Lana get jealous in your headcanon?

Not really! In Subterfugeverse, both Rai and Lana are polyam, so generally speaking, jealousy isn’t a problem for them, and when it is it’s more of a case of “hey. Hey. Hey, I’m not getting enough attention, pay attention to me.” and then it’s usually dealt with and all is well ;)

When Lana meets Anri, the only thing Saarai does is tease her about “when she’s going to make the move”. 😜

Story that is prominent in their relationship?

I was gonna draw a little doodle for this but the poses kept not coming out right so I gave up, sorryyy qAq

I haven’t gotten very far into planning the SoR onwards+ segments of Subterfugeverse, just bits and bobs like this, but I’d say for now the most prominent is probably their first meeting on Rishii. Basically, meet-cute but with a lightsaber involved too hahaha. There was a lot of posturing and flirty subtext right from the get-go with these two, even if Saarai was particularly suspicious at first (see the earlier question about her being technically dead to the Empire). At first, when she noticed Lana tailing Ty (because Lana was extremely confused about why a Pureblood was so far from Sith space ;)), Saarai assumed that something had happened to her twin and the Empire had A) found out she and Ty were still alive and B) Sent Lana to track them down and kill them for good. Several tension-loaded hours later and Lana managed to convince Rai that actually, Ni’kasi was fine and speaking of, she was trying to avoid being killed too so maybe, actually, they could help each other. And that was all she wrote <3

[polygarnstars]

facts about me that you could state to my face that would hurt more than that ask did

I own three copies of Okami HD, and have beaten exactly zero of them

I paid $40 for Balan Wonderworld, knowing full well that any enjoyment I drew from it as a game would be ironic, and I plan to spend another $10 on the novel so I can be mad about the fact that approximately two percent of the story actually made it into the game

I played Kingdom Hearts as a kid and was attracted to Zexion, and given I am currently attracted to another edgy squenix bastard with emo hair in the form of Therion Octopathtraveler, my taste has apparently not changed since I was ten

I played Sonic 06 and thought it wasn’t terrible

I learned and did a partial speedrun of PMD Red Rescue Team for the sake of getting on someone else’s Let’s Play of the remake

I tried streaming once, only to have to stop because my capture card ate my sound card

The last week and a half of my Spotify history is comprised almost entirely of the Persona 5 soundtrack and various covers of those songs

I’m a furry who can’t even decide on his own fursona’s species or design

I spend so much time reading Nuzlockes, challenge runs of Pokemon games, games for children, I was brought on as staff of the official forums

I do the aforementioned work as Nuzforums staff knowing full well that it is a volunteer position while I am unemployed in real life

I watched the Kirby anime as a kid instead of doing my schoolwork. Years later, I plan to rewatch it in its entirety instead of seeking employment

I voted for Bandana Waddle Dee in the Smash Ballot

On that topic, I’m a Kirby main! I played through the entirety of World of Light using only Kirby! Like, I love Kirby, but who the fuck mains him unironically like that? I don’t even do that strat of succing your opponents and spitting them out over the blast zone where they can’t recover or taking them down with you, like, cmon

I was in anime club in high school

Despite owning it, I’ve never played Among Us, but I still watch other people play it regularly

I didn’t realize the Guardians of Ga’hoole series was a WW2 allegory until I read the TV Tropes page in high school

I got into Kingdom Hearts for the Final Fantasy stuff, and yet to this day the only Final Fantasy game I’ve ever beaten was the DS rerelease of Final Fantasy III

I 100%ed Breath of the Wild less than three weeks after it released, and proceeded to help various streamers do the same, because I had literally nothing better to do with my time

As a teenager I uploaded two mashups, one of All Star and In The End, the other of All Star and Lonely Rolling Star, to YouTube because in the summer the only device I had to get online with was a Nintendo 3DS, I wanted to be able to listen to them year round, and my 3DS would not play Soundcloud uploads

I’m currently making a mashup of the Balan Wonderworld credits theme and Wonderwall

I think Pokemon peaked in Gen V and I trust Spike Chunsoft with the series more than I trust modern GameFreak

I have owned literally every Animal Crossing game except Amiibo Festival, but I do still own Amiibo from the sets released for it

I’m still waiting for Pikmin 4!

I’m still waiting for another real Chibi-Robo sequel!

I’ve still not beaten the prior games in the series despite owning them, but I’m still waiting for Bayonetta 3!

I dip dill pickle spears in chocolate pudding Snack Packs and I enjoy it

I know all the lyrics to the opening of Pichu Bros. in Party Panic, that anime special that was viewable exclusively on Pokemon Channel

I plan to romance Ann in my first playthrough of Persona 5 Royal purely for the sake of cucking the cat. I do not plan to do this because I dislike Morgana, but simply because I think it would be funny

I say KEKW, Pog, OMEGALUL, and Sadge in real life, with my actual human mouth

I have spent money on microtransactions for mobile games

I bought well over a dozen packs of the Unbroken Bonds Pokemon TCG expansion in an attempt to obtain a rainbow rare Reshiram & Charizard GX. I found zero of them

Until earlier today, when I cleaned out my drawers of old clothes I no longer wear, I owned two Big Bang Theory shirts. Instead of burning them like a reasonable person, I donated them to my local Goodwill for some other poor fool to find

At the age of 23, I still cannot swim

I’ve gotten used to every other bug in my house, including the bees in the walls and the stinkbugs who refuse to just stay outside, but whenever I see a silverfish I consider committing arson

I collect dice but do not play D&D or any other TTRPG, I just think they’re neat

I’m too physically weak to take apart a PS4 controller

I haven’t ridden a bike in a decade, and at this point if I tried I would probably fall over or ride uncontrollably into the street and be hit by a car

I still have art on my wall of a Pokemon character I made in sixth grade at the absolute latest

I buy sketchbooks despite not drawing traditionally literally ever

I cannot draw on a normal tablet, because I look at my hands instead of the screen, and so I had to buy a 2-in-1 laptop to do art

I bite my nails

I compulsively pluck the hairs from my legs

Despite compulsively plucking the hairs on my legs, I cannot be bothered to do the same for the ones that have grown into a unibrow

When I was a child a goose whacked me with its wing

I’ve been bitten by two dogs, one of which bit me twice

Despite domesticated animals hating me, I’m the world’s worst Disney Princess, having taught a grey catbird to recognize Zelda music and having watched the entirety of Avatar the Last Airbender with a baby mourning dove perched in the bush outside the window watching with me

I spell grey grey instead of gray despite being American

I’m American

I’m still on tumblr in 2021

do with this information as you will

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Shins-bro

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: Izuku and Shinso are best buds. Thats it. 

shinsou has a terrible mum and he's complaining about it "ironically"

like : "lmao my mum is gonna beat my ass for this shitty mark" and he's shocked when izuku is like 3 seconds away from tears

izuku drags shinso to his house and his mum is home and shinso is Spooked bc,, adult?? friends???

hes so scared that inkos gonna yell at him for doing something stupid but as soon as he walks in the door izuku trips over his own feet taking off his shoes and tackle hugs his mum

so izuku and inko are laughing and like, half-fallen over bc izuku is a chunky boy and shinso is so lost??? at the door and inko uses her quirk to pull him over by the shirt and join in the hug

udhihdsf she!!! picks both of them up and squishes these good heroes in the best mother hug

izuku is laughing and shinso is sh o o k bc this is the nicest hug he's ever had???

inko puts them both down and flushes a little, says sorry for hugging shinso but she hasn't seen her boy in so long! and he must be a lovely young man if he's friends with izuku

she bustles off to go stir dinner on the stove and izuku just grins and looks at shinso

"isn't my mum great?!"

",,,yeah"

he and shinso go to his room and izuku pulls out his old console

admits he used to make his mum play this fighting game over n over when he was little, and that she always used to pick this female hero with a big white cape because she liked her hair. he giggles and tells shinso that if he wants izuku can maybbbeee let him play allmight

he picks endeavour for a sec and asks shinso if je just wants to beat up endeavour for a minute before they really start

it turns into them setting like 6 AI to level 9 endeavours and them both playing allmight to beat the crap out of them

inko walks in w tea and little cakes she made and gasps happily bc she loved that game! so they restart the round with 2 allmights + 1 nana plus all the endeavour AI

izuku and shinso keep protecting inko's character from all the fire bc she doesn't deserve this

izuku shoves a cupcake into shinsou's mouth when he goes to ask izuku something

shinsou like, lights up bc he's never had home-baked stuff before and its sooooo good so he just kind melodramatic puts his controller down and says "i guess this is kamino ward 2.0" as all might gets crispy fried by the AI and shoves the cupcake into his face

izuku c a ck l e s

izuku and inko, melodramatically "we can't let allmight 1 fall!! protect him!!!" and they try to save this idle allmight as shinso watches w icing on his face

inko and izuku save idle allmight and shinso cheers softly. inko shoves a cupcake into hers and izuku's faces and hands another to shinso in celebration

she then ducks out to go take care of the dinner again. izuku giggles and puts dollop of icing on shinsos nose, who sneezes then looks offended that his nose dared to sneeze

shinso tries to lick the icing off he nose

but like

it's not working

and izuku is losing it laughing but shinso is stubborn and won't stop just bc what he's doing is v stupid. they end up w shinso's legs on izuku’s bed w his back on the floor, izuku leaning against the bed. shinso isn't really sure why he thought this was a good idea

and they run through English homework and shinso and izuku are both shockingly good and both refuse to admit its bc they spend too much time on tumblr/youtube

shinsou: gee izuku why are u so good at english

izuku, who has been reading self insert all might x reader fics for like 50% of his life: no reason :)))

fdguhdfghufh shinsou, who has been reading angsty fics of all his faves instead of going to therapy: wow same ,,,

also im sorry but, izuku def reads allmight self insert that isn't like "uwu dating you" but its like "what if allmight was ur best friend" or "allmight is your secret dad??? uwu"

u know all those old ass watt pad fics where one direction adopts u, that but all might and all the chapters are just

all might tucks u into bed after a hard school day and tells you he’s proud of you

all might fucking detroit smashes ur class bully into the concrete

u and all might attend the premiere of his latest docuseries and u cry bc there’s a whole preface abt how u changed his life for the better and he could not ask for a better child

izuku and shinso go through their old tumblr/wattpad/deviantart accounts and cry laugh

its all in terrible english and one of the comments is "are you 10 or can you just not speak english"

6 years later, izuku responds

"both, actually"

izuku writing vent fics but they’re like

“all might punches my classmate bc he stole my fuckign apple juice kacchan i hate u”

"all might tells me i don't need my fuckign dad i haven't seen since i was 4 and he becomes my new dad"

“all might tells me i have no bedtime and makes my mom dinner bc she’s stressed and she needs a nap”

"all might adopts me and marries my mum and has a kid who becomes my brother and best friend"

he wrote them all between 6-12 he started writing better shit when he was 12 and made a new account (better, not good.)

his first round of fics were like all in first person and shinsou’s w h e e z i n g like why’d u think this was a good idea. izuku s cryign bc hE WAS SIX HITOSHI STOP IT. its like really terrible english too

izuku is mad but then he realizes he was hitoshi's deviantart open and he g r i n s (its all shitty drawings of cats and his OC Hero ) there are like twenty pictures of his actual cat taken on a shoddy ds camera

also as like, a soft dumb thing izuku is like speed typing on his laptop and shinsou is like??

izuku shushes him n tells him he wants to finish it before dinner

what hes done

is he wrote one of the shitty self insert fics, intentionally shittily but w allmight as izukus dad and eraserhead and shinsous and they live together for no reason at the "hero apartments" and can be brothers

shinso is laughing and crying at the same time and izuku is like

",,,, im gonna send it to present mic"

"nO"

"do you think ill get extra credit?"

"nO DOnT DO IT"

izuku in retaliation sending in some of shinsou’s oldass oc comics and mics just

“i mean

it’s in english,,,”

they get extra credit but it's not really helpful bc they both had As now they both have A plus' but dont wan them

(mic sends it to all might and eraserhead but like, redacts shinso and izukus names and aizawa is twitching w either rage or laughter, all might is bright red and giggling like an idiot)

pls the teachers gc is just “all might and eraserhead tuck u in and call u a Good Boy” for the next three months

as a running joke, whenever they can, that's what izuku and shinso write for English

like in german we had to write plays and act out little skits in german. in english, they do that but like, izuku is eraserhead and shinso is a cat stuck in a tree 

they have to write sentences w different words? and they get "comfort" "rescue" and "light" and its all shit like

"my dad eraserhead rescued me from homework because mic is terrible"

"all might's fatherly love lights up the hole in my heart"

"the fatherly aura of allmight and eraserhead brings me comfort on my darkest days"

izuku gives the ol puppy dog eyes to aizawa who begrudgingly lets them sleep over at inko's house

and there is only one bed! and they cant decide who gets it

so

neither of them sleep in it and they both stubbornly lay on the floor. it takes like 5 seconds for them to start laughing

[bmaxwell]

Top 50 Video Games: Stats, Regrets, and Honorable Mentions

Statistics:

My top 50 can be classified by platform (the platform I primarily played them on anyhow):

PC: 13 Nintendo: 9 Playstation 2: 8  Super Nintendo: 5  Arcade: 4 Xbox 360: 4  Sega Genesis: 2 Nintendo Gamecube: 2 Nintendo 64: 1 Playstation 1: 1 Playstation 3: 1

At a glance I’m a little surprised at the relatively high number of Xbox 360 games and the low number of Playstation 1 games. 

The list can also be sorted by genre, though that’s a little messy because of the difficulty in classifying some titles. Sure, Super Mario 3 is a platformer, but what is Twisted Metal? I ended up drafting a list that had too many categories. So spoilers: I really like platformers and RPG’s. 

Regrets:

These games should have made the list. I am bad and I feel bad.

Bionic Commando

Capcom did something impressive with Bionic Commando: they made a platformer where you couldn’t jump. Bionic Joe (yep) instead could latch onto things with his bionic arm and swing or pull himself up. Add in an overhead map, some weapon and armor upgrades, and 8-bit Hitler swearing at me before I explode his head like a pumpkin with a hand grenade inside and you’ve got a classic.

I finished the game for the first time in front of a group at a friend’s birthday party. In many ways I peaked at age 10.

Super Mario RPG

I loved Mario. I loved turn-based RPG’s. Still, putting goofy, colorful platforming old plumber-ass Mario into an RPG seemed like a bad idea. I was very wrong, and I’m pleased to report that they’ve been making great Mario RPG’s ever since.

Don’t Starve Together

Making a list like this means that there is an itch in my brain somewhere that doesn’t go away. I must be forgetting something! There’s some game that I love and I’m forgetting it! This is the game. I enjoyed Don’t Starve, but it never entirely hooked me until it got a multiplayer release. This is the perfect game to play with friends. You explore, stake out a base, divvy up the necessary tasks, and die horribly. All with some of my favorite music and art in video games. 

Honorable Mentions:

Initially I thought I might have trouble coming up with 50 games for this list. As time went on I realized that I probably could have made this list 75 or 100 games long and been okay with that. Maybe in another 10 years...

These are games I couldn’t fit in the list, but still love and want to mention. 

Honorably.

Stardew Valley

This game missed the list due to the timing of its release. Stardew Valley would certainly be on the list today, probably in the top 30. I’ve logged over 100 hours in it and I’d happily go play it right now. It’s an everything-but-the-kitchen-sink take on Harvest Moon that manages to give the player a billion things to do without making you feel rushed. This game is deep, peaceful, relaxing, and wonderful at coaxing one more day out of you when you know you should be going to bed.

Toejam & Earl

Every now and again a game comes along that is just its own weird thing. Such is Toejam & Earl, a screwball free-roaming but level-based game about 2 funky, rapping aliens who crash on Earth and have to avoid all the insane humans while trying to recover the pieces of their ship.

The music was catchy and the cooperative play was a blast. It was goofy - even at the time - but goofy in a way that made me smile. I never played the poorly-received Panic on Funkatron sequel, but the upcoming Back in the Groove game looks like a promising return to the series’ roots. Fingers crossed.

Paper Mario

The spiritual successor to Super Mario RPG was an excellent game in its own right. It managed to invoke the first game while still standing on its own. It also made good use of the “everything is flat like paper” thing, and the pun game was strong as always.

Viva Pinata

It looks like a game for babies, but there’s actually quite a bit of challenge in Viva Pinata if you decide you want to catch them all. Every animal has certain requirements that must be met before it will appear, and trying to meet those requirements while dealing with predators and keeping the animals you like from running away or being eaten...well...making a game simultaneously relaxing and stressful  is quite a feat. 

Katamari Damacy

So your father - the King of All Cosmos - got drunk one night and lost all of the stars. Now, as his son the Prince, you must make new ones by rolling up anything and everything into balls. First it’s thumbtacks and paperclips, then cats and pineapples, then cars and blimps and trees and continents and PLANETS OH GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING.  Japan is weird.

Bully

On paper, Bully doesn’t work for me. It’s a Rockstar game set in a prep school, so it’s super juvenile. It’s an open world, mission-based game. I wouldn’t give the game a second thought if it were released today, and I’m not sure why I tried it then. But I’m glad I did. I think it was post GTA 3/Vice City before I had burned out on that kind of game. 

Bully has underwear and wedgies and jocks and nerds and greasers and drunk teachers and panty raids and, well, everything you’d expect. The music is great and the game is charming. I’m glad I played it. 

Super Dodgeball

An NES dodgeball game where the different players have different super throws. the game looks like regular-ass dodgeball, but if you run at the enemy and throw the ball just right it gets all flat like a football and shoots real fast and BOOM knocks them down. So yeah, it’s pretty fun. Also, you travel around the world and face different nations. Seems to be a tournament of some sort but holy shit SPOILERS at the end it gets all weird and you face a shadow copy of your own team WHAAAAAT?

Firewatch

This one was an unexpected gem. It’s a story about people running from their problems in the Wyoming wilderness. It’s a story about solitude, introspection, coping, and sprinkle of mystery. Some people were disappointed by the ending. I was not one of them. 6 months after finishing it, Firewatch still lingers in my memory. If that’s the case a few years down the road, it’ll elbow its way into the top 50.

River City Ransom

This NES game was ahead of its time. It was an open world(ish) game where you run around and beat up thugs. The thugs drop money which can be used at shops in the game to purchase books which unlock new attacks. You can also buy food, and the whole thing has an RPG feel to it. It’s a tongue-in-cheek game about high schoolers rescuing someone’s girlfriend from a rival gang.

Salt & Sanctuary

I spent some time with Dark Souls, but ultimately fell off it. Salt and Sanctuary really is 2D Dark Souls. So it’s derivative. It’s also really goddamned good. It worked for me where DS did not, maybe because I am more comfortable with platformers than with 3rd person action games? No idea, but the minimalist music, grimy colors and high difficulty made it a satisfying hill to climb. No idea if I’ll hold it in high regard in a few years time, but 6 months after finishing the game, it has stuck with me.

Dragon Quest: Rocket Slime

This is another game that felt like it punched above its weight. A weird spinoff of a franchise I love, Rocket Slime puts you in the role of a lowly slime trying to save its town. Or maybe rebuild it. I don’t know. It isn’t Torment. You bounce around the game world and fight enemies by flinging yourself like a rubber band. It’s a novel and quirky little game full of puns. The weird part is that there are several tank fights in the game. You are in your big tank thing fighting an enemy tank. You are loading stuff into the cannons and firing upon them, and you can bounce over to their tank and fight the ones loading the cannons. It’s weird and charming and wonderful. 

Journey

It feels a little light to be on a list like this. Then again I’m the guy who included Plants vs Zombies on my list, so what do I know? In Journey, you are given no instructions. You start in a desert facing a distant mountain with a pillar of light at the top. You head toward it, solving some simple puzzles and getting bits of story in the form of hieroglyphics. You can encounter other players, but cannot interact with them outside of a little sound that accompanies your scarf briefly lighting up. I encountered one other player about halfway through this ~3 hour game. We stuck together and waited for each other, helping each other however we could until the very end. It was a really neat thing, to form a sort of bond with a stranger like that. My 10-year old daughter played it and had the same experience. It’s an unusual, beautiful, special thing. 

Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!

This game is a pillar of the old, memorable NES era. The controls are tight, the music is catchy, and the characters are memorable. And defeating Tyson for the first time is one of my favorite gaming memories. 

The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap

The last Zelda game that felt like Zelda to me. 

Night in the Woods

Just finished this a couple of months ago, so I need more distance from it. It isn’t perfect. But boy does it get a lot of things right, things that aren’t common in video games. It’s about a college dropout returning home to her failing rust belt hometown and loving - but disappointed - family. And the main character isn’t always likable. She’s often a dick. And sometimes there are no good dialogue options for her. I think “Fuck, I wouldn’t say either of those things!” but I’m not Mae; she does not have the tools to deal with some of the situations she is in. I don’t think it quite sticks the landing, but I didn’t care. Night in the Woods genuinely made me feel things. 

It’s too early to say, but if I make this list again in 5 years I feel like Persona 5, Horizon Zero Dawn, NieR Automata, and Breath of the Wild could all be on it. 

We’ll see.