#and i kept having to be like i was at a jewish lesbian wedding in dallas i think my experience was not representative

[ephemeral-winter]

unrelated to anything but i’m reflecting on how my mom’s cousin is one of the coolest and dykiest women i’ve ever met but her wife is an unbelievably bland midwestern housewife named susan and i have so many questions

[universallywriting]

Hey bud, for another fluff prompt: what kind of conversations do you think would be had between Doug and Priyanka in the lead-up to a Connverse wedding?

"You have to ease up on the rules."

Priyanka did not agree with her husband, and she glared down at the pan she scrubbed as Doug dutifully dried cups beside her. With Connie in the house, they'd used the dishwasher, but she was long gone now and it was faster to do the dishes for the two of them by hand.

"I don't know why I bother making them."

"Because she follows them!" She glared, and he chuckled. "Okay. She mostly follows them. Remember how I asked her not to kiss Steven in front of me and now all they do is a polite peck on the lips in public?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's not like she wasn't kissing him when we weren't around."

"I didn't ask her not to kiss him. I asked her not to do it in front of me." Doug explained. "Because if I had told her not to kiss him, she would have fought me. So we compromised."

"I am comrpomising."

"It's not your wedding."

She sighed as she rinsed the pot, soapy water twisting down the drain. He was right about that. They had to insist to pay for some of it, as Steven still had plenty of money from his father left. Connie wasn't too interested in wedding planning either, so most of it was done through her future husband.

"It's just..." She handed the pot, watching as he took it from her hands and began to dry. "The family is going to talk, Doug."

"I don't know how much your mother is going to say when Connie has a sword on her hip."

She gave a short laugh, shaking her head at the thought.

"Besides," Doug continued on merrily. "She's marrying a white Jewish alien prince with a dozen destructive superpowers and his family is a group of alien lesbians and an ex-rock star. They fuse into a giant nonbinary quarter-alien person. I think the sword is the last thing anyone will be talking about."

"Doug!" she gasped.

"I'm not wrong," he muttered, going back to drying the pot in hand. "She won the jackpot on hot button issues."

Priyanka shook her head. "I just don't want her getting hurt."

He set the pot on the drying rack, and suqeezed her hands in his. "She's proud of who she is and what she's done, and on her wedding day she wants her sword. You're not going to talk her out of it."

They kept talking about it. Idle family gossip about who would be whispering what sorts of things at the wedding, about how the gems were going to handle things like that, about how long the party would last.

Eventually, they settled on talking about the bar, and how they were glad there was no drink limit that night. That was a silver lining that comforted them to sleep.

[rachelkaser]

Stay Golden Sunday: A Little Romance

Dorothy and Blanche are surprised to learn Rose’s new boyfriend is a little person, but Rose is the one really struggling with it.

Picture It...

Sophia is packing for a trip, stuffing clam sauce into her suitcase. She’s supposed to visit her son Phil for her grandson’s college graduation, but doesn’t trust his family to feed her. Rose enters, dressed to the nines for a date, and offers to drive Sophia to the airport. Blanche and Dorothy want to know who her new squeeze is, and she says he’s a psychiatrist at her grief center named Jonathan Newman. She’s strangely evasive when the other Girls ask when they can meet him.

BLANCHE: Dorothy, I’ve just discovered a great new way to meet more men. SOPHIA: More men? You’re gonna need a turnstile in your bedroom.

Some time later, Rose is furious with Blanche, who invited Dr. Newman to dinner at their house without discussing it with Rose first. Blanche says Rose kept putting it off, which Rose denies before stomping out with a scowl. While setting the table on the lanai, Blanche tells Dorothy that how Dr. Newman analyzed her dreams and deemed them “sexual.” What a surprise. There’s a ring of the bell, and Blanche initially mistakes the person on the doorstep for one of the neighborhood kids.

The bell rings again, and Dorothy answers this time. Now the caller gets to introduce himself: Dr. Jonathan Newman. Dorothy’s initially disconcerted to see he’s a little person, but quickly composes herself. Blanche, however, thoroughly embarrasses herself by accusing Rose of hiring a little person to “teach her a lesson.” (Apparently not one in sensitivity.) Dorothy takes Blanche away to collect herself, and Blanche is determined to be a good hostess from then, but flubs it when offering Jonathan shrimp. Jonathan, for his part, says he looks forward to teasing Blanche.

DOROTHY: Why don’t we just start dinner? JONATHAN: Oh good, what are we having? DOROTHY: . . . short ribs.

Later that night, Jonathan entertains the Girls with anecdotes after dinner, and impresses them with his positive attitude. Blanche inadvertently makes another bad joke, and Jonathan teases her about it. He tells her not to be self-conscious in front of him, as he’s perfectly content with who he is. He goes into the kitchen with Rose to fix coffee, and Blanche and Dorothy express their approval.

Sophia unexpectedly returns home: Phil’s son failed, so there was no graduation to attend. Jonathan enters and the Girls introduce him. Sophia says, “I hope this doesn’t sound rude,” which leads to Blanche, Rose, and Dorothy preemptively cringing in horror. But she just says that she’s very tired, so won’t be up for socializing, and asks Jonathan to excuse her. Jonathan departs, asking Rose if they can have dinner the next night. Rose drops the bomb: She thinks Jonathan is going to propose marriage to her.

They ask how she feels about that, and Rose admits that she’s embarrassed about his height, and she’s not sure she can get past it. Blanche tells a story about being in a relationship with a man she was forbidden to date as a young lady in the South. Dorothy assumes Blanche’s date was Black, but no: He was from New Jersey. Rose, meanwhile, still doesn’t know what she’s going to do. She goes to her room, and the other Girls leave her alone. Rose falls asleep.

Cue the dream sequence. It’s Rose’s wedding day, and Blanche and Dorothy go to fetch her from her room. Rose is still not sure about whether she should marry Jonathan. Blanche and Dorothy profess they’ve never noticed Jonathan’s size, while Sophia enters in a priest’s outfit, as she’ll be performing the ceremony. Then someone else arrives (from Rose’s closet, apparently): Rose’s late father. Rose is surprised to see he’s a little person, and Daddy Lindstrom says this is because he’s making a point about love. He tells Rose to follow her heart, as no one can predict the future.

ROSE: Wherever we go, people stare at him. DREAM!BLANCHE: Maybe they’re staring at you, honey. ROSE: At me? DREAM!BLANCHE: Oh, only a good friend would tell you this, Rose, but that color you dye your hair? Honey, that hasn’t existed since they discontinued the Ford Falcon.

Blanche suddenly announces that there’s someone at the wedding who can: Psychic Jeane Dixon, making a cameo appearance. She proceeds to spout some predictions about the future that, as of 2021, are not likely to come true before being hustled offscreen. Jonathan enters, and says that he and Rose can face any problem together. Rose makes up her mind and agrees to marry him. The other Girls come in to wake her up, and she tells them she’s decided to keep seeing Jonathan.

The next night, Rose and Jonathan have dinner at a French restaurant, and Jonathan tells her they need to talk about a problem with their relationship. He says that, while he cares about her, he doesn’t think their relationship can go on without acceptance. Rose protests that she doesn’t care about his height. Jonathan, on the other hand, meant something else: He can’t see Rose anymore because she’s not Jewish. Rose flips out, shouting at Jonathan in view of the restaurant, until he cracks a joke that has them both laughing. She apologizes and says she’s going to miss Jonathan, and he’ll miss her too. A waiter then comes over and asks precisely the wrong question:

WAITER: How was the shrimp? ROSE: Unfortunately, I’ll never know. You see, he’s Jewish and we can’t see each other anymore.

“May I take your height-- HAT?”

Let it be known that, when it comes to episodes of the show that cover minority issues, LGBTQ topics, or people with disabilities, I will do my darnedest to find reviews or analyses of them from people who fall within those categories. For example, there’s a lot of material from the gay and lesbian fandom regarding the episodes that showcase gay and lesbian characters, and I’ll link to and quote their work in the respective recaps rather than attempt to insert my own opinions for the most part.

This is because I realize that, as a non-disabled, heterosexual, cisgender, white woman; I am not in a good position to review any of these issues. My voice on these topics counts for very little.

That being said, I scoured the internet looking for a review or analysis of this episode by a little person, and I couldn’t find one. If you know of any analyses made by anyone with better knowledge on the topic than I have, please send them to me in a DM and I will happily revise this recap.

So yeah, this episode pretty much revolves around Dr. Jonathan Newman being a little person. It’s the sole source of conflict from Rose’s side in their relationship, and it was at the root of most of the jokes. To the episode’s credit, most of it is at the expense of Blanche and Rose, rather than Jonathan himself. If this were made in a perfect world, his height wouldn’t come into play at all, but the episode tries its hardest to mitigate any accusations of ill intent by making him such a lovely character.

Jonathan is surprisingly gracious and good-humored about the Girls’ less than sensitive remarks, teasing Blanche to help put her at ease. While Rose’s concerns about their relationship are portrayed seriously, the episode makes it very clear that she’s the one with the problem, and not Jonathan. I would have liked to have his religion foreshadowed a bit earlier but at least it adds a little depth to his character. Even Sophia, whose whole B-plot this week is basically just “Phil’s family is weird” is polite to him.

DOROTHY: Ma, why are you taking all this food to Phil’s? SOPHIA: Because the only time your brother’s wife goes into the kitchen, it’s to get a cold beer. DOROTHY: Ma, she has no time to cook. She works all day. SOPHIA: Welding. My son married a welder. Too bad she didn’t weld his zipper shut. They got ten kids they can’t afford.

In fact, he’s almost too good. It’s as though, even at the time, the writers wanted to counterbalance the reliance on his height in the jokes by making him one of the most perfect men ever. He’s interesting, funny, positive, well-educated (he mentions going to Harvard), and most importantly, he assuages everyone’s fears about making any comments about his height. It’s as if the writers are giving themselves permission to make the jokes by making the character around whom they are based as wonderful as possible.

That’s not to say the episode handles it subject matter in a completely inoffensive manner. The most tasteless joke of the episode, I think, is the “How was the shrimp?” line, but a close second is probably this one from Sophia, when she comes to check on Rose after her dream and sees Rose clutching her pillow:

SOPHIA: What’s going on? BLANCHE: Oh, Rose has decided to keep on seeing Jonathan. SOPHIA: Fine. *beat* We’re all adults here. Let the man out of the pillowcase. We don’t mind if he sleeps over.

You know what’s really weird? This is not the first time Rose has referenced dating a little person. Remember that pin I put up a few episodes ago? Let’s take it down and address Rose talking about Eddie. While Sophia is the only person to refer to Jonathan by an offensive slur, they use it liberally in this clip, so consider it a trigger warning:

It’s beyond weird to me that they have this whole joke about Rose dating a little person that they play completely for laughs, only to take it seriously a few episodes later. That’s a very specific scenario to repeat -- especially since Rose says she didn’t reject Eddie because of his size at all, but because she couldn’t date anyone in show biz. So what changed, huh, Rose?

There is one thing about this episode that bugs me irrespective of Dr. Newman’s height: Rose thinks Jonathan is going to propose to her even though they aren’t yet seriously dating and (if her last line of the episode is any indication) haven’t even slept together. This is something that I find weird about these ladies’ relationships. Kate got married after only six months of dating, Blanche was prepared to marry Harry after only one week, and now Rose thinks her beau of three weeks with whom she’s only been on five dates wants to marry her.

I mean, were the 80s really that different? Did people really go to the altar so fast that this seems plausible to anyone? I’m genuinely asking because, for all I know, this was common at the time.

I love how weird the dream sequence is in this episode. It made sense, in the way that some dreams seem to follow some kind of recognizable sequence, but there are really weird parts too. The fact that Sophia and Mr. Lindstrom enter the room through Rose’s closet, Blanche and Dorothy speak in chirpy voices, and there’s a weird celebrity cameo. It definitely feels dreamlike to say at the end of the scene, “WTF was Jeane Dixon doing there?”

By the way, it’s too bad none of Dixon’s predictions will come true. It would have been very interesting to see Brooke Shields and Lady Diana in a Broadway musical comedy.

Episode rating: 🍰🍰🍰🍰 (four cheesecake slices out of five)

Favorite part of the episode:

You really can’t beat Blanche’s awkwardness.

[rainbow-femme]

I have officially met with the rabbi and after 3 and a half years my conversion can officially begin!

I was nervous at first and flubbed some of my words a bit (said at school I went to Shabbat at the Chabad house 3 times a week rather than 3 times a month) and I forgot the name of the intro to Judaism book I’ve been reading when he asked but once we got into it I got my feet under me and he realized I’m not actually as big an idiot as I can seem at first glance.

He didn’t do the three no’s thing but he did more subtly give me three reasons to back out as we were talking (”This isn’t a good place to meet young people like yourself,” “We wouldn’t be able to start the intro to Judaism class until September and even then that’s only if enough people sign up” “You would have to begin coming at least two or three times a month for the next year and a half so we would need you to be able to jump in and integrate yourself into the community totally starting now.”) But I just kept being like yup yup yup whatever I gotta do I’m gonna do so he then grilled me for a bit on what I knew about Shabbat and the core of Jewish belief and some holidays. Once he was satisfied that I’d done my homework and put thought into this he loosened up a bit and we really got into good conversation about things.

He told me that while we couldn’t start the class until September he wanted me to attend regularly Shabbat services and even the weekly ones as well when I had time. He said he would help me find people to go to lunch with at their houses after services so I could really get to know the community.

He gave me two book recommendations, one book on conversion I could keep and two books I could keep on learning to read Hebrew. He said he wants to meet up once a month outside of services for specifically conversion conversations.

We talked a bit about how his congregation generally worships, that they’re considered the most observant conservative shul in the area but they don’t have anything women aren’t allowed to take part in and that the LGBT community is very welcome (”I haven’t done a gay wedding yet but I’m excited to”) and I liked that cause really what I wanted was close to orthodox while still being open to people like myself. So it’s all in Hebrew, everyone eats kosher and dresses tznius and follows the mitvot but there’s a lesbian or two and women get called up to read from the torah if they wish.

I’m still feeling a little anxious about it cause I still have that school mindset of “I didn’t answer every question right” because I didn’t word everything right but I’m going to be able to move forward with the Rabbi I want and the congregation I want and I’ve got an official invitation to attend services as much as I want rather than feeling like I have to be specifically invited to each one.

I went from doing google searches on “what does Judaism follow” when I was 19 to officially starting my conversion two weeks before turning 23. What a wild ride this has been and it’s only now technically beginning. Got about 18 months of work ahead of me and I can’t wait to go to services tomorrow night.

[manycoloureddays]

wanna talk lesbian padma x pansy and padmas best buddy Anthony goldstein & her sister bc PLEASE

ONLY ALWAYS!!

Padma and Anthony bonding the first December they spend at Hogwarts because they are surrounded by Christmas preparation, by mistletoe and singing armour, and they kept catching each other rolling their eyes.

“Jewish,” Anthony says. “Hindu,” Padma replies. They talk about Diwali and Chanukah, and in the years that follow about the Patil cousin’s wedding the girls went to last year, and Anthony’s bar mitzvah. Anthony tells her about sitting shiva for his granddad. On the Express their first year as prefects he’s the first person Padma tells about going to India over the summer, and the only one she who hears how it felt overwhelmingly unfamiliar at times, but when they visited the house her grandmother grew up in she cried because it was exactly like she pictured it. 

Most people think Anthony only shows up at the Hog’s Head because he’s friends with Michael, but Padma told him before Michael did. They’d been talking all year, quietly, when no one else was around, about what the plan was, about whether they believed Harry and Dumbledore, about how there is no other option than to stand up for what you believe in otherwise what is the point of believing it in the first place. 

After years of having Anthony understand things that other people don’t, of being the first one she tells things - the first after Parvati of course, but that’s a given - he’s also the first person Padma tells she’s gay. “I’m a lesbian,” she says, then, “pass the Dodgson text?” He doesn’t ask her if she’s sure, how she knows, because Anthony knows how she thinks things through before she’s ready to give a full answer in class, remembers the way she had seemed to know her own brain inside out when they found Millie Dalton doubled over in the middle of a panic attack. “I get them too, sometimes. All my thoughts start going ten miles a minute and I can’t see straight. Here, breathe with me. Do you want me to hold your hand?” So he just says, “cool, I think I like boys too. I mean, as well as girls.” She smiles. 

Padma and Parvati are joined at the hip from birth. It is mostly inevitable, being identical twins, but Padma thinks it would have happened anyway, in the event of some separated at birth and finding each other late in life type situation. Parvati is the only person who knows how to stop her mind going too fast, and she is the only one who knows that Parvati’s biggest fear isn’t mummies, and it isn’t death or being buried alive, it’s the death of the people she loves, it’s not being able to protect them.

Parvati likes to say “I know it like Padma’s hand,” because it’s kind of funny, in a Padma sort of way, and because it’s true. When they were little and one of them had a nightmare they would climb into bed together and Parvati would trace the lines on Padma’s palm and tell her all the bright, beautiful things she saw in her future. 

They are as identical as the Weasley twins, have their hair cut the same way, had their ears pieced on the same day, but no one who knew them well would ever mistake one for the other. Padma’s face has a tendency for seriousness, and Parvati’s eyes always lean a little towards fire. Lavender is the first one who can tell them apart without their house colours at Hogwarts, and that’s when Padma realises she’s for keeps. She’s a little jealous at how close Lavender and Parvati are. She’s always had Parvati to herself, and while she has friends, she doesn’t have one BEST friend. Years later they joke that Padma still might have to fight Lavender to be Parvati’s maid of honour, even though Lavender is the other bride. 

SPEAKING OF QUEER LADIES… Out and proud Padma Patil. It might be the wizarding world, where apparently it’s super okay to be gay. So okay in fact that Dumbledore, one of the most powerful wizards ever, stayed so closeted the narrative didn’t even realise he was gay. But they do live in the real world, and in the real world some people are shitty. It doesn’t faze Padma one bit, and for the first time people wonder if they really are looking at the Ravenclaw Patil, the quiet, bookish one (jokes on them, she’s set book on fire, accidentally of course, but she is passionate and bold when she wants to be). Once she told one person she decided she didn’t care who knew. Padma kisses several girls before the year is out, has her first girlfriend the summer between her fifth and sixth year, a muggle girl who works at her favourite muggle bookshop. They go out for coffee on her lunch break and trade kisses between bookshelves and Padma considers breaking the Statute of Secrecy when Anna tells her she believes in magic. They say goodbye at the end of summer, and Padma doesn’t kiss another girl until the war is over. 

You can read all about my Padma x Pansy headcanons in this series, and I have more on the way!!  

[38-planes]

The Love Story Behind Come From Away

Intermission [November 24, 2016]

The important thing to remember about Come From Away, now playing at the newly restored Royal Alexandra Theatre through January 8 prior to its Broadway opening, is that it’s a love story

On one level, it’s the story of the mutual devotion that erupted between 6579 airline passengers from around the world when their planes were grounded in Newfoundland in the aftermath of 9/11 and the people of Gander who took them in. And in another sense, it’s about Toronto lawyer Michael Rubinoff’s infatuation with this story and his desire to bring it to the musical theatre stage.

But most of all, it’s about the husband and wife team of Irene Sankoff and David Hein, who picked up Rubinoff’s challenge to write the show, researched it exhaustively, and then saw it through numerous workshops and productions before landing it safely here.

Most people have been so busy telling the story of the show itself that they’ve left out the more intimate but equally winning saga of Irene and David.

But we’re righting that balance today, early on a crisp autumn morning—not too early because that’s not how Sankoff rolls.

“I don’t like mornings,” laughs Sankoff.  “In fact, when I was pregnant with our daughter Molly, we joked that I never got up early enough to have morning sickness.”

Molly, now three and a half, is at school on this particular day, so it’s just Sankoff and Hein in their bright, cheery home in the East York area of Toronto.

They’re a comfy couple who look as happy as they are, combining the best qualities of romcom and sitcom.

What do they look like? Hein has the classic “charming dad” look of a beloved TV series, with an endearingly rumpled air reminiscent of Dick Van Dyke’s iconic Rob Petrie. But Sankoff is more like Valerie Harper’s Rhoda Morgenstern, with a warm smile, a husky voice, and a ready way with a quip.

How did this pair get together? Hein tries to explain.

“We met on the first day of university at York in the theatre program. That we agree on. But we disagree on precisely when.”

“I’m sure it was the welcome BBQ,” says Sankoff in a tone that brooks no disagreement.

“She’s wrong,” Hein dares to venture . “It was the welcome pancake breakfast.”

Sankoff’s jaw sets just a bit. “They didn’t even have a pancake breakfast that first week. It was the opening BBQ. Drop your stuff in the dorm, come on down, have something to eat and meet the man you’re going to marry.”

Hein throws up his hands in submission. “She actually has a much better memory than me.”

Regardless of where and when it happened, was there instant chemistry between them?

“I’m not sure if it was love,” suggests Hein, “but it was something at first sight.”

Sankoff sets the record straight. “We were both seeing other people at the time and continued for about a year and a half. But we were very good friends and we got along instantly.

“I was very serious about getting terrific grades. I had a double major in psychology and theatre. I remember I came fourth in my first-year psychology class and got very depressed.”

“I was a good student, too,” insists Hein sheepishly.

“Yeah, but you went out,” counters Sankoff, spitting the word out like a malediction. “I hadn’t seen a movie since, er, The Little Mermaid.”

So her heart belonged to Disney musicals?

“I always loved all musicals. The first one I ever saw was Guys and Dolls. And Les Mis was a huge influence on me. My mom took me to it twelve times and then we stopped, because I thought thirteen was unlucky in those days.”

While Sankoff was storming the barricades, Hein was on his own musical journey.

“My mom took me to the Winnipeg Folk Festival. And I loved Newfoundland music too. Great Big Sea. Figgy Duff. The world of the singer-songwriter. I think I wanted to be Jim Cuddy.”

Sankoff has her return volley ready. “I wanted to be Donna McKechnie. God, when I saw A Chorus Line at Stratford this summer, I wept all the way through it. I knew it by heart.”

Her mention of the classic musical leads Hein to a sort of playwriting epiphany. “You know the dramatic bones of Chorus Line and Come From Away are really very similar. The anecdotal structure, the interviews that shaped it. The whole thing.”

But then it’s back to their slow-growing romance.

“It wasn’t one thing that brought us together,” reasons Hein. “We just started hanging out a lot.”

Sankoff shakes her head ruefully. “David was very goofy. I got my first B after we started hanging out together.”

He laughs. “Yeah, we started hanging out. And then we started…” His voice drops an octave. “… HANGING OUT!”

They look at each other fondly. “No one in my life was like David,” admits Sankoff. “They were all so focused and serious and he was so, well, goofy.”

“You use that word to describe me a lot,” says a slightly hurt Hein.

“But you were, David,” insists Sankoff gently. “You were.”

After their time at York, Sankoff went to New York City to work on her masters in theatre at NYU and Hein followed, landing an internship making music for The Muppets. (His undergraduate major was set and lighting design.)

They were living at International House, a residence for foreign graduate students attending NYU, which Hein describes as “a kind of dress rehearsal for what happened to Gander in Come From Away.  There were people from 110 countries all around the world. An amazing community. Every month there would be celebrations. We’d dress up like characters from our country. Irene was Anne of Green Gables, I went with a friend as Bob and Doug Mackenzie.”

But then came 9/11. Even after all this time, the two of them grow quiet remembering it.

“My cousin was working in one of the towers,” says Hein softly, “but she got out.”

They both remember how life went on a few days later—especially theatrical life. “I was acting in an Ionesco Festival at the time,” says Sankoff, “and David was designing a play called The Dreamer Examines His Pillow.”

They had gotten engaged and were planning to eventually tie the knot in Toronto, but one night, Hein said “let’s get married now.” So they eloped to City Hall, four blocks from Ground Zero.  They had a larger, more formal ceremony in Toronto the next year.

After they returned to Toronto their lives just kind of chugged along for a while, with Hein recording several albums of his songs and designing over sixty shows, until he “got burned out painting the set overnight for no money.”

Sankoff kept busy “as a receptionist, as a tutor for kids, and as a member of the cast of The Mousetrap at the Toronto Truck Theatre.”

But they weren’t spending much time together.

“So in 2009, we said ‘Let’s hang out this summer and write a show.’”

And they did. The result was My Mother’s Jewish Lesbian Wiccan Wedding, based on true events in Hein’s life.

They discovered their own personal writing dynamic. “David is the one who puts things down on paper first,” says Sankoff. Hein counters with: “And Irene is the editor who tears it apart and makes us rewrite it fifty times until we get it right.”

Sankoff smiles. “I don’t know how you write with someone you’re not married to.”

Hein replies: “I heard someone say that writing is fighting.”

“No. WE say that,” snarks Sankoff.

“Yeah,” agrees Hein. “We like to write in a coffee shop. Because there are witnesses.”

The show found a berth at the Fringe, proved to be a huge popular hit, then got picked up by Mirvish Productions for a successful transfer to the Panasonic.

Enter Michael Rubinoff, well-known theatrical lawyer and associate dean of Performing Arts at Sheridan College, which is known for its highly regarded musical theatre program.

“He asked to meet us,” Sankoff remembers, “and we were so nervous. It was like an interview. Very formal, and he just asked us a lot of questions. We didn’t think it went very well.”

But it didn’t end there. Hein points out that they met again over mac and cheese in Kensington Market and got to know each other a lot better.

“He told us his idea about writing a musical about the events in Gander when all the planes landed there after 9/11,” Hein enthuses. “I loved it. I loved the story of Gander being this giant airport where the world used to come to refuel, then planes got bigger and the world stopped coming. And then, the world came back again.”

What Sankoff loved were the individual stories: “Like Bonnie, who took care of all the animals that wound up there.” Rubinoff was warmed by the show’s overall humanist message. But despite their different points of view, they all agreed on one thing. Hein sums it up: “This wasn’t a 9/11 story. It was a 9/12 story.”

From that point on, it kept moving steadily, with a lengthy research trip for Sankoff and Hein to Gander for the tenth anniversary of the event in 2011, two student workshops at Sheridan College in 2012 and 2013, and then a whirlwind courtship by the American musical theatre scene, from the National Alliance for Musical Theatre, through the workshop process at the Goodspeed Opera House, to a trifecta of record-breaking productions at regional theatres in LaJolla, Seattle, and Washington, D.C, with unanimous rave reviews at every stop along the way.

How did Sankoff and Hein cope with this crazy ride?

“I’ve always compartmentalized this,” shares Sankoff. “I’d say, ‘Now we’re in Seattle, let’s take Molly to play in the fountain. Now we’re in LaJolla, let’s go look at the ocean.’ But when I saw on Facebook that all our cast and designers were coming into Toronto, then I thought my worlds were colliding.”

The regular moms and dads that Sankoff and Hein hang out with can’t quite understand that, depending on the response to the show when it opens on Broadway, they might either be very wealthy, or have to scramble to make a living.

“Our Muggle friends think what we’re doing is so risky,” allows Hein. “They think it’s like playing slots with your life.”

But for this couple who are as in love with their chosen profession as they are with each other, there’s no turning back.

“It’s not that I wouldn’t do anything else,” admits Sankoff. “It’s that I couldn’t do anything else. I was no good working in the real world. No good at all.”

“We used to argue whether or not theatre could change the world,” says Hein. “I think it can.”

“I don’t,” snaps Sankoff. Then she softens. “Or I used to think it couldn’t.”

[cynthiajayusa]

Tony Adams: The Marrying Man

If you want someone who “looks the part” to do the honors at your upcoming nuptials, Tony Adams is your man. With his ascetic bearing, fine features, and raven brows — all offset by a glorious shock of white hair — Adams looks like a parish priest straight out of central casting.

Which. In fact. He was. Way back in the ’80s.

Unable to reconcile his gay identity or moral values with a relentlessly (and hypocritically) homophobic Vatican, Adams eventually left the Church. But he never lost his call to ministry, which is why he gladly returned to the nuptial business almost as soon as marriage equality became a reality in these United States.

Since then, Adams has joined scores of LGBT couples in matrimony (holy and… less so), a service the snowbird performs both in South Florida and New York City. We sat down with this unconventional man of the cloth to get the skinny on life as a same-sex marriage officiant: the outfits, the vows, the horror stories.

How long have you been officiating?

As a Catholic priest, I officiated at weddings for many years until I left active ministry in 1982. I wanted to help LGBT couples who were denied marriage by their anti-gay Catholic Church, so just a few days after marriage equality became law in New York — July 24, 2011— I married two gay couples in Central Park in front of a huge crowd of cheering friends and strangers. A beautiful day. No dry eyes.

What kind of accreditation do you have? What did you have to do to get it?

I am a minister of the Universal Life Church, which is one of a handful of churches recognized by New York City for the purpose of becoming a licensed officiant. The application process is easy, all spelled out on the [New York] City Clerk’s website. Oddly, singing ability is not required. Most of my weddings have no religious overtones, but if asked, I’ll honor the couple’s traditions — Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or otherwise.

Is your accreditation limited to a particular state or states?

Yes, requirements vary from state to state. There are some startling differences between New York and Florida, for instance. In New York City, there’s a specific licensing process. In Florida, your officiant needs only to be an ordained clergyman of any kind — and there’s no proof required!

Also, in NYC, the officiant must return the completed license to the City Clerk’s office within a specific number of days. Here in Florida, the officiant can return it whenever he or she feels like it! Of course, if it doesn’t get returned, and no wedding certificate is issued, a justifiably irate couple will probably hunt down their negligent officiant with more force than any Florida sheriff.

How many couples have you married?

I’ve lost count.

Lesbians as well as gay men?

Yes, both.

Any opposite-sex couples?

I would not discriminate against an opposite-sex couple.

How do you prepare for a wedding? How much do you work with the couple?

Working with the couple is key. I have to get a sense of what they envision, and I have to honor their wishes 100 percent. Sure, I’ll give them advice, but it’s their day: Casual? Formal? Relatives? Rings? Vows? Pets? Children? Music? God? No God?

A good officiant isn’t just a plug-in. He orchestrates the ceremony, making everyone comfortable so that they can celebrate what they feel in their hearts for the couple. Humor among strangers is tricky; a good officiant uses it sparingly but will pour out good will by the bucket.

Do you have a set script? Or does it vary from service to service?

Never a set script, but there is one thing I always do when I know that there are straight relatives and friends in attendance. I start the wedding by thanking them for rising above any personal prejudices or religious beliefs they may have. I thank them for the courage of their presence honoring and supporting two people in love.

I address my words to the oldest people present because they have grown up in a time when LGBT people were closeted, invisible, and condemned. The older ones are also more likely to know the truth about marriage and how it works. I honor their presence. I always get a little choked up when I thank them and see them blink back tears, but hey, if you can’t make ’em cry, it’s not a wedding, right?

What do you wear?

I take my cue from the couple. If they want me in black, I’m there. If they want me in flip-flops, I’m there. I recently did a wedding on St. Patrick’s Day that meant shopping for a green shirt. I once attended a wedding in Key West where everyone was naked except for leather masks and harnesses. The exchange of rings was eye-popping! I’m glad they didn’t ask me to officiate, but if they had, I’d have worn latex.

Do you ever help the couple write their vows?

Yes. Often the couple is not sure what they want to say, so it’s helpful for me to submit a list of words and phrases. They are never shy about then telling me what to avoid. For instance, an old-fashioned phrase like, “Will you be obedient to your spouse forsaking all others?” can sometimes elicit snorts and eye-rolls. The majority of the couples I’ve married have specified that there be no mention of god or religion. I also never presume that their vows will include sexual exclusivity.

Do you recall any particularly memorable vows?

I have had to learn some phrases in Hebrew, Ukranian, Spanish, Italian and Polish — just enough to honor the heritage of the couples. Sometimes, I’m not quite sure what I may have actually said! I enjoy delivering the final blessing in Latin if the crowd is Roman Catholic but only if the couple asks for that. It’s part of what sets me apart from other officiants.

Where have you performed marriages?

All over Manhattan and Brooklyn, including several spots in Central Park. In Fort Lauderdale, I’ve officiated on the beach, on yachts, and on a bridge over a pool at a private residence.

What’s the most memorable ceremony you’ve performed?

I cherish the memory of each one, none more than the other. I’m friends with almost all the couples I have married, so I would never rate or rank those ceremonies. Each one was beautiful.

Do couples usually invite you to attend the reception?

Yes. I love socializing with folks in the context of a wedding. Great fun!

Have you witnessed any wedding mishaps? Do tell.

The guests had arrived and were milling about in a restaurant in Greenwich Village a half hour before we were to start the ceremony. The couple had a cute little dog that would be the ring bearer. The rings were tied to his diamond collar with a festive ribbon. When I tried to take a picture of the dog that had been scampering through the crowd, I saw that he had chewed through the ribbon and that the rings were lost somewhere on the floor of the restaurant.  Everyone was enlisted in the search and they were located. What do performers say about working with dogs and children?

In Central Park I married two lesbian couples by the Bethesda Fountain. Pouring rain meant we had to go under the Bethesda Terrace, but a Halloween haunted house had been set up there and we were kept out. One of the lesbians got spooked by the sounds of devilish recorded screams from within the haunted house, and she refused to go on with the ceremony, saying it would be cursed. She calmed down, umbrellas were located, and everything ended well as the rain turned into a gorgeous snowfall.

What made you decide you wanted to officiate weddings?

To make up for having been a priest in the anti-gay Catholic Church. It’s my way of making amends.

While you were a priest, did you marry any couples?

Maaaaany.

I’ve heard you charge no fee for officiating. Is that true?

I refuse to accept even a penny. This is another way I make amends for having been a priest in a Catholic Church that makes money via the distribution of its sacraments. When the couple asks about a fee, I suggest they make a donation to The SMART Ride via my rider page. [The annual two-day benefit bicycle ride from Miami to Key West raises funds for groups providing HIV/AIDS service in South Florida.] They have all been amazingly generous.

In your experience, what makes a wedding ceremony memorable or moving?

In a world in which half of all marriages fail, and given that many in attendance have had failed marriages, if I can make people feel hopeful again, and able to set aside the past or their fears for the future, and if I can make them believe that love can last forever, I’ll have done my job — and I can feel it in the air.

What should a couple look for in an officiant?

Efficiency! A good officiant never waits to the last minute when working with a couple. A good officiant is never late or unprepared for glitches! Beyond that, I think it’s part instinct, part compassion and part wisdom. I’ve lived with the same man for 35 years, married to him for nine. I’ve been around, and I got stuff to say about it!

Some couples will have a friend get accredited to officiate at their wedding. Good idea?

Maybe, but will that friend know how to set the tone and pace and roll with glitches in the ceremony? I think it is better to ask your closest friends or relatives to read, recite, or sing something, as long as they keep it brief!

Do any of the couples you’ve married stay in touch with you?

I am in touch with all of them, even if it’s just on Facebook. I am happy to report that they are all still together. “Who’s your daddy?” should be my officiant motto!

Tony Adams, a minister of the Universal Life Church, can perform weddings in Florida and New York City. Contact him at farmboyz@mac.com or via his wedding page on Facebook: facebook.com/Tony-Adams-1532614977002074.

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/05/03/tony-adams-the-marrying-man/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazin.blogspot.com/2018/05/tony-adams-marrying-man.html

[demitgibbs]

Tony Adams: The Marrying Man

If you want someone who “looks the part” to do the honors at your upcoming nuptials, Tony Adams is your man. With his ascetic bearing, fine features, and raven brows — all offset by a glorious shock of white hair — Adams looks like a parish priest straight out of central casting.

Which. In fact. He was. Way back in the ’80s.

Unable to reconcile his gay identity or moral values with a relentlessly (and hypocritically) homophobic Vatican, Adams eventually left the Church. But he never lost his call to ministry, which is why he gladly returned to the nuptial business almost as soon as marriage equality became a reality in these United States.

Since then, Adams has joined scores of LGBT couples in matrimony (holy and… less so), a service the snowbird performs both in South Florida and New York City. We sat down with this unconventional man of the cloth to get the skinny on life as a same-sex marriage officiant: the outfits, the vows, the horror stories.

How long have you been officiating?

As a Catholic priest, I officiated at weddings for many years until I left active ministry in 1982. I wanted to help LGBT couples who were denied marriage by their anti-gay Catholic Church, so just a few days after marriage equality became law in New York — July 24, 2011— I married two gay couples in Central Park in front of a huge crowd of cheering friends and strangers. A beautiful day. No dry eyes.

What kind of accreditation do you have? What did you have to do to get it?

I am a minister of the Universal Life Church, which is one of a handful of churches recognized by New York City for the purpose of becoming a licensed officiant. The application process is easy, all spelled out on the [New York] City Clerk’s website. Oddly, singing ability is not required. Most of my weddings have no religious overtones, but if asked, I’ll honor the couple’s traditions — Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or otherwise.

Is your accreditation limited to a particular state or states?

Yes, requirements vary from state to state. There are some startling differences between New York and Florida, for instance. In New York City, there’s a specific licensing process. In Florida, your officiant needs only to be an ordained clergyman of any kind — and there’s no proof required!

Also, in NYC, the officiant must return the completed license to the City Clerk’s office within a specific number of days. Here in Florida, the officiant can return it whenever he or she feels like it! Of course, if it doesn’t get returned, and no wedding certificate is issued, a justifiably irate couple will probably hunt down their negligent officiant with more force than any Florida sheriff.

How many couples have you married?

I’ve lost count.

Lesbians as well as gay men?

Yes, both.

Any opposite-sex couples?

I would not discriminate against an opposite-sex couple.

How do you prepare for a wedding? How much do you work with the couple?

Working with the couple is key. I have to get a sense of what they envision, and I have to honor their wishes 100 percent. Sure, I’ll give them advice, but it’s their day: Casual? Formal? Relatives? Rings? Vows? Pets? Children? Music? God? No God?

A good officiant isn’t just a plug-in. He orchestrates the ceremony, making everyone comfortable so that they can celebrate what they feel in their hearts for the couple. Humor among strangers is tricky; a good officiant uses it sparingly but will pour out good will by the bucket.

Do you have a set script? Or does it vary from service to service?

Never a set script, but there is one thing I always do when I know that there are straight relatives and friends in attendance. I start the wedding by thanking them for rising above any personal prejudices or religious beliefs they may have. I thank them for the courage of their presence honoring and supporting two people in love.

I address my words to the oldest people present because they have grown up in a time when LGBT people were closeted, invisible, and condemned. The older ones are also more likely to know the truth about marriage and how it works. I honor their presence. I always get a little choked up when I thank them and see them blink back tears, but hey, if you can’t make ’em cry, it’s not a wedding, right?

What do you wear?

I take my cue from the couple. If they want me in black, I’m there. If they want me in flip-flops, I’m there. I recently did a wedding on St. Patrick’s Day that meant shopping for a green shirt. I once attended a wedding in Key West where everyone was naked except for leather masks and harnesses. The exchange of rings was eye-popping! I’m glad they didn’t ask me to officiate, but if they had, I’d have worn latex.

Do you ever help the couple write their vows?

Yes. Often the couple is not sure what they want to say, so it’s helpful for me to submit a list of words and phrases. They are never shy about then telling me what to avoid. For instance, an old-fashioned phrase like, “Will you be obedient to your spouse forsaking all others?” can sometimes elicit snorts and eye-rolls. The majority of the couples I’ve married have specified that there be no mention of god or religion. I also never presume that their vows will include sexual exclusivity.

Do you recall any particularly memorable vows?

I have had to learn some phrases in Hebrew, Ukranian, Spanish, Italian and Polish — just enough to honor the heritage of the couples. Sometimes, I’m not quite sure what I may have actually said! I enjoy delivering the final blessing in Latin if the crowd is Roman Catholic but only if the couple asks for that. It’s part of what sets me apart from other officiants.

Where have you performed marriages?

All over Manhattan and Brooklyn, including several spots in Central Park. In Fort Lauderdale, I’ve officiated on the beach, on yachts, and on a bridge over a pool at a private residence.

What’s the most memorable ceremony you’ve performed?

I cherish the memory of each one, none more than the other. I’m friends with almost all the couples I have married, so I would never rate or rank those ceremonies. Each one was beautiful.

Do couples usually invite you to attend the reception?

Yes. I love socializing with folks in the context of a wedding. Great fun!

Have you witnessed any wedding mishaps? Do tell.

The guests had arrived and were milling about in a restaurant in Greenwich Village a half hour before we were to start the ceremony. The couple had a cute little dog that would be the ring bearer. The rings were tied to his diamond collar with a festive ribbon. When I tried to take a picture of the dog that had been scampering through the crowd, I saw that he had chewed through the ribbon and that the rings were lost somewhere on the floor of the restaurant.  Everyone was enlisted in the search and they were located. What do performers say about working with dogs and children?

In Central Park I married two lesbian couples by the Bethesda Fountain. Pouring rain meant we had to go under the Bethesda Terrace, but a Halloween haunted house had been set up there and we were kept out. One of the lesbians got spooked by the sounds of devilish recorded screams from within the haunted house, and she refused to go on with the ceremony, saying it would be cursed. She calmed down, umbrellas were located, and everything ended well as the rain turned into a gorgeous snowfall.

What made you decide you wanted to officiate weddings?

To make up for having been a priest in the anti-gay Catholic Church. It’s my way of making amends.

While you were a priest, did you marry any couples?

Maaaaany.

I’ve heard you charge no fee for officiating. Is that true?

I refuse to accept even a penny. This is another way I make amends for having been a priest in a Catholic Church that makes money via the distribution of its sacraments. When the couple asks about a fee, I suggest they make a donation to The SMART Ride via my rider page. [The annual two-day benefit bicycle ride from Miami to Key West raises funds for groups providing HIV/AIDS service in South Florida.] They have all been amazingly generous.

In your experience, what makes a wedding ceremony memorable or moving?

In a world in which half of all marriages fail, and given that many in attendance have had failed marriages, if I can make people feel hopeful again, and able to set aside the past or their fears for the future, and if I can make them believe that love can last forever, I’ll have done my job — and I can feel it in the air.

What should a couple look for in an officiant?

Efficiency! A good officiant never waits to the last minute when working with a couple. A good officiant is never late or unprepared for glitches! Beyond that, I think it’s part instinct, part compassion and part wisdom. I’ve lived with the same man for 35 years, married to him for nine. I’ve been around, and I got stuff to say about it!

Some couples will have a friend get accredited to officiate at their wedding. Good idea?

Maybe, but will that friend know how to set the tone and pace and roll with glitches in the ceremony? I think it is better to ask your closest friends or relatives to read, recite, or sing something, as long as they keep it brief!

Do any of the couples you’ve married stay in touch with you?

I am in touch with all of them, even if it’s just on Facebook. I am happy to report that they are all still together. “Who’s your daddy?” should be my officiant motto!

Tony Adams, a minister of the Universal Life Church, can perform weddings in Florida and New York City. Contact him at farmboyz@mac.com or via his wedding page on Facebook: facebook.com/Tony-Adams-1532614977002074.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/05/03/tony-adams-the-marrying-man/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/173546183575

[hotspotsmagazine]

Tony Adams: The Marrying Man

If you want someone who “looks the part” to do the honors at your upcoming nuptials, Tony Adams is your man. With his ascetic bearing, fine features, and raven brows — all offset by a glorious shock of white hair — Adams looks like a parish priest straight out of central casting.

Which. In fact. He was. Way back in the ’80s.

Unable to reconcile his gay identity or moral values with a relentlessly (and hypocritically) homophobic Vatican, Adams eventually left the Church. But he never lost his call to ministry, which is why he gladly returned to the nuptial business almost as soon as marriage equality became a reality in these United States.

Since then, Adams has joined scores of LGBT couples in matrimony (holy and… less so), a service the snowbird performs both in South Florida and New York City. We sat down with this unconventional man of the cloth to get the skinny on life as a same-sex marriage officiant: the outfits, the vows, the horror stories.

How long have you been officiating?

As a Catholic priest, I officiated at weddings for many years until I left active ministry in 1982. I wanted to help LGBT couples who were denied marriage by their anti-gay Catholic Church, so just a few days after marriage equality became law in New York — July 24, 2011— I married two gay couples in Central Park in front of a huge crowd of cheering friends and strangers. A beautiful day. No dry eyes.

What kind of accreditation do you have? What did you have to do to get it?

I am a minister of the Universal Life Church, which is one of a handful of churches recognized by New York City for the purpose of becoming a licensed officiant. The application process is easy, all spelled out on the [New York] City Clerk’s website. Oddly, singing ability is not required. Most of my weddings have no religious overtones, but if asked, I’ll honor the couple’s traditions — Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or otherwise.

Is your accreditation limited to a particular state or states?

Yes, requirements vary from state to state. There are some startling differences between New York and Florida, for instance. In New York City, there’s a specific licensing process. In Florida, your officiant needs only to be an ordained clergyman of any kind — and there’s no proof required!

Also, in NYC, the officiant must return the completed license to the City Clerk’s office within a specific number of days. Here in Florida, the officiant can return it whenever he or she feels like it! Of course, if it doesn’t get returned, and no wedding certificate is issued, a justifiably irate couple will probably hunt down their negligent officiant with more force than any Florida sheriff.

How many couples have you married?

I’ve lost count.

Lesbians as well as gay men?

Yes, both.

Any opposite-sex couples?

I would not discriminate against an opposite-sex couple.

How do you prepare for a wedding? How much do you work with the couple?

Working with the couple is key. I have to get a sense of what they envision, and I have to honor their wishes 100 percent. Sure, I’ll give them advice, but it’s their day: Casual? Formal? Relatives? Rings? Vows? Pets? Children? Music? God? No God?

A good officiant isn’t just a plug-in. He orchestrates the ceremony, making everyone comfortable so that they can celebrate what they feel in their hearts for the couple. Humor among strangers is tricky; a good officiant uses it sparingly but will pour out good will by the bucket.

Do you have a set script? Or does it vary from service to service?

Never a set script, but there is one thing I always do when I know that there are straight relatives and friends in attendance. I start the wedding by thanking them for rising above any personal prejudices or religious beliefs they may have. I thank them for the courage of their presence honoring and supporting two people in love.

I address my words to the oldest people present because they have grown up in a time when LGBT people were closeted, invisible, and condemned. The older ones are also more likely to know the truth about marriage and how it works. I honor their presence. I always get a little choked up when I thank them and see them blink back tears, but hey, if you can’t make ’em cry, it’s not a wedding, right?

What do you wear?

I take my cue from the couple. If they want me in black, I’m there. If they want me in flip-flops, I’m there. I recently did a wedding on St. Patrick’s Day that meant shopping for a green shirt. I once attended a wedding in Key West where everyone was naked except for leather masks and harnesses. The exchange of rings was eye-popping! I’m glad they didn’t ask me to officiate, but if they had, I’d have worn latex.

Do you ever help the couple write their vows?

Yes. Often the couple is not sure what they want to say, so it’s helpful for me to submit a list of words and phrases. They are never shy about then telling me what to avoid. For instance, an old-fashioned phrase like, “Will you be obedient to your spouse forsaking all others?” can sometimes elicit snorts and eye-rolls. The majority of the couples I’ve married have specified that there be no mention of god or religion. I also never presume that their vows will include sexual exclusivity.

Do you recall any particularly memorable vows?

I have had to learn some phrases in Hebrew, Ukranian, Spanish, Italian and Polish — just enough to honor the heritage of the couples. Sometimes, I’m not quite sure what I may have actually said! I enjoy delivering the final blessing in Latin if the crowd is Roman Catholic but only if the couple asks for that. It’s part of what sets me apart from other officiants.

Where have you performed marriages?

All over Manhattan and Brooklyn, including several spots in Central Park. In Fort Lauderdale, I’ve officiated on the beach, on yachts, and on a bridge over a pool at a private residence.

What’s the most memorable ceremony you’ve performed?

I cherish the memory of each one, none more than the other. I’m friends with almost all the couples I have married, so I would never rate or rank those ceremonies. Each one was beautiful.

Do couples usually invite you to attend the reception?

Yes. I love socializing with folks in the context of a wedding. Great fun!

Have you witnessed any wedding mishaps? Do tell.

The guests had arrived and were milling about in a restaurant in Greenwich Village a half hour before we were to start the ceremony. The couple had a cute little dog that would be the ring bearer. The rings were tied to his diamond collar with a festive ribbon. When I tried to take a picture of the dog that had been scampering through the crowd, I saw that he had chewed through the ribbon and that the rings were lost somewhere on the floor of the restaurant.  Everyone was enlisted in the search and they were located. What do performers say about working with dogs and children?

In Central Park I married two lesbian couples by the Bethesda Fountain. Pouring rain meant we had to go under the Bethesda Terrace, but a Halloween haunted house had been set up there and we were kept out. One of the lesbians got spooked by the sounds of devilish recorded screams from within the haunted house, and she refused to go on with the ceremony, saying it would be cursed. She calmed down, umbrellas were located, and everything ended well as the rain turned into a gorgeous snowfall.

What made you decide you wanted to officiate weddings?

To make up for having been a priest in the anti-gay Catholic Church. It’s my way of making amends.

While you were a priest, did you marry any couples?

Maaaaany.

I’ve heard you charge no fee for officiating. Is that true?

I refuse to accept even a penny. This is another way I make amends for having been a priest in a Catholic Church that makes money via the distribution of its sacraments. When the couple asks about a fee, I suggest they make a donation to The SMART Ride via my rider page. [The annual two-day benefit bicycle ride from Miami to Key West raises funds for groups providing HIV/AIDS service in South Florida.] They have all been amazingly generous.

In your experience, what makes a wedding ceremony memorable or moving?

In a world in which half of all marriages fail, and given that many in attendance have had failed marriages, if I can make people feel hopeful again, and able to set aside the past or their fears for the future, and if I can make them believe that love can last forever, I’ll have done my job — and I can feel it in the air.

What should a couple look for in an officiant?

Efficiency! A good officiant never waits to the last minute when working with a couple. A good officiant is never late or unprepared for glitches! Beyond that, I think it’s part instinct, part compassion and part wisdom. I’ve lived with the same man for 35 years, married to him for nine. I’ve been around, and I got stuff to say about it!

Some couples will have a friend get accredited to officiate at their wedding. Good idea?

Maybe, but will that friend know how to set the tone and pace and roll with glitches in the ceremony? I think it is better to ask your closest friends or relatives to read, recite, or sing something, as long as they keep it brief!

Do any of the couples you’ve married stay in touch with you?

I am in touch with all of them, even if it’s just on Facebook. I am happy to report that they are all still together. “Who’s your daddy?” should be my officiant motto!

Tony Adams, a minister of the Universal Life Church, can perform weddings in Florida and New York City. Contact him at farmboyz@mac.com or via his wedding page on Facebook: facebook.com/Tony-Adams-1532614977002074.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/05/03/tony-adams-the-marrying-man/

[wp-yahoo-style-1042-yahoopa-blog]

Hindu and Jewish women wed in what's thought to be Britain's first interfaith lesbian marriage

Kalaviti and Miriam’s wedding is set to go down in the history books. [Photo: SWNS]

Two British women have made history by marrying last weekend in what is believed to be the nation’s first interfaith gay ceremony.

Kalavati Mistry and Miriam Jefferson are both from strictly religious families. Kalavati is Hindu, and  Miriam is Jewish.

After falling in love on a training course 20 years ago, the pair finally found a Hindu priest willing to marry them.

On Saturday, the couple tied the knot at a venue in Leicester in front of their friends and family.

The brides wore traditional Hindu garments in the wedding colors of red and white.

The couple — who come from different religious backgrounds — struggled to find a priest who would marry them. [Photo: SWNS]

Kalavati, 48, explained how she had kept her sexuality secret for the majority of her life. She came out to her Hindu parents only a few years ago.

Luckily, her family accepted her relationship with Miriam, causing one less thing to worry about for the newlywed.

The couple is now set to move to Texas, where Miriam is from, and finally begin the married life they’ve been dreaming about for decades.

Though some couples may not have bothered with getting married, Kalavati says marriage was always something she wanted. “Marriage is very important to me. I grew up in a very traditional household, and really value the traditions and the culture,” she told the Daily Mail.

“To me, I wanted to spend my life with someone in a union. Some of the rituals that you do in a wedding are very important. I wanted me and Miriam to join in that union.”

Despite the setbacks, the pair was finally able to tie the knot. [Photo: SWNS]

Kalavati also spoke of the struggles of growing up as a gay Asian woman, adding: “It was initially very difficult for me, trying to tell your friends and family and honor the traditions.

“Once I told my friends and family a few years ago, they were very warm, welcoming and embracing to Miriam, which is very important.”

“Although attitudes are changing at the moment, it was very difficult to find a priest,” Kalavati explained. “Many priests were warm and welcoming and said they’d like to do the wedding, but they said that their federation wouldn’t allow it. I’m very grateful that we’ve been able to do this. I’d like to see our lives bond together — our traditions and our cultures.”

Miriam echoed her wife’s sentiments, commenting that she feels “like times are changing for the better.”

“Some people have beliefs or fears that make it hard to embrace gay marriage. I feel like that’s going to change. As people get more comfortable, as people find out that people they already know and love are gay, they want what’s best for them.

“Mostly, I think we’re going in the right direction. It’s hard to be against love,” she said.

Congratulations to the newlyweds.

Read more from Yahoo Beauty + Style:

Pregnant meteorologist speaks out against viewer who criticized her ‘disgusting,’ ‘skin tight’ clothes

All the solar eclipse fashion you’ll want for the big day

Iskra Lawrence dances in bikini on the beach: ‘I feel like a 10 no matter what anyone says’

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest for nonstop inspiration delivered fresh to your feed, every day. For Twitter updates, follow @YahooStyle and @YahooBeauty.