#driving capers

[cyclogenesis]

ryan reynolds photos i've been fixating on lately 34/∞

[fieriframes]

[We add parsley, caper, garlic, tomato confit, and of course being an African restaurant, chili flakes goes everywhere, green olive oil, and mash it together.]

[nixariel]

Timelines and Carmen Sandiego: To Steal Or Not To Steal

...or, can I make the interactive special play nicely with canon? Meant as a companion to my previous timeline; please note that this is centred around the 'perfect' route where Carmen manages to save both her ground crew and the stolen items. For an overview of how to access all eight endings, I would highly recommend this excellent schematic.

Shanghai (stated in dialogue as approx 1 year after Carmen started stealing from V.I.L.E.; "which part of the last year")

·        "Notorious V.I.L.E. stronghold" is in Lujiazui district of Shanghai; location roughly corresponds to the Jin Mao Tower based on position relative to the Shanghai Tower and the Shanghai World Financial Center ·        Carmen can enter from the air by ziplining across from the Shanghai Tower or from the ground via the elevator shaft ·        Walks into conspicuously-open vault to learn her ground crew has been kidnapped; if she does not cooperate, the faculty will use Dr. Bellum's mindwiping device to turn Ivy and Zack into V.I.L.E. operatives        ◦ As per bad ending 1, Coach Brunt had bet Professor Maelstrom a steak dinner that Carmen would refuse V.I.L.E.'s deal point-blank ·        Curiously, a 10-19 licence plate is visible on a passing car during Player's intro of the target; in the main series, this number seems to be used exclusively for A.C.M.E. vehicles

Xi'an (roughly 2h direct flight time from Shanghai to Xi'an)

·        First task is the theft of a terracotta warrior for Brunt; Carmen goes to a "fresh dig site" where more statues have recently been found ·        Exact date unknown but apparently a Tuesday; "it's either dress-up Tuesday for the security staff or..." ·        Tigress has been sent as V.I.L.E.'s handler-slash-back-up for Carmen; leaving her in the pit reveals she has a fear of insects but helping her enables the later 'imperfect good' ending of saving Zack and Ivy while V.I.L.E. keeps the statue ·        Carmen gets her first check-in with the siblings, then is offered the choice of going to either Hell Creek, Montana, to retrieve a T. rex bone for Dr. Bellum or Monte Carlo, Monaco, to steal one hundred tins of Beluga caviar for Countess Cleo

·        If trying to establish a 'canon' narrative for the special, Cleo's caper would make the most sense as the next theft; Carmen has managed one heist for V.I.L.E. but now struggles with the implications of needing to do it again, and to a charity no less. Mime Bomb is also present more to monitor Carmen than to help, much like Tigress, and Julia does not mention a stolen dinosaur bone despite bringing up the missing terracotta warrior during her brief conversation with Carmen. Going from one plainclothes agent in Monte Carlo (or presumably only one; no recognizably-A.C.M.E. faces in the crowd and Julia reaches for her pen rather than an earpiece if tricked into going to the roof) to three officially-dressed agents in Montana also seems like a more appropriate escalation of A.C.M.E.'s efforts to catch Carmen than the reverse.

Monte Carlo (roughly 11h direct flight time from Xi'an to Monte Carlo)

·        Exterior of the hotel hosting the charity dinner appears somewhat similar to the Hotel Metropole Monte-Carlo ·        Debut of 'Scarlett Santarosa' as an alias; Player's startled "who??" upon hearing it suggests that this may not have been entirely planned ·        Declining the diplomat's offer to dance leads to Carmen expressing a preference for tango over the waltz; accepting it shows her losing focus/drifting into a daydream partway through, which may be a sign that having to rush through back-to-back capers is starting to wear on her ·        Evidently A.C.M.E. has received intel that V.I.L.E. may be targeting the caviar, Julia assigned to investigate and/or thwart; she seems much more comfortable blending in with upper-class society than pretending to be a fashion model in Milan ·        Julia also much more overt with her willingness to extend Carmen the benefit of the doubt; that she's carrying around a champagne glass full of some unspecified sparkling liquid is probably pure coincidence ;)

·        Carmen acknowledges having "joined forces with Jules before"—a phrasing that suggests something more like their collaboration in Milan than simply leaving the recovered Magna Cartas on a train seat; trusting Julia is necessary to achieve the 'perfect' route ending ·        The successful grab 'n' dash route leads to Carmen landing on a bridge-like structure with some similarities to the Fontvieille Shopping Centre; the unsuccessful stash 'n' sneak option has her walking down what is almost certainly the Rue de Millo in La Condamine

Terminal 5 of Heathrow Airport (roughly 2h direct flight time from Monte Carlo to Heathrow)

·        Before continuing on to the third heist, Carmen demands another check-in with Ivy and Zack; comparing the amount of light coming through their cell window at different times of day allows her to deduce that they are being held somewhere with 24/7 sunlight ·        Player confirms that this would currently be the North rather than South Pole; midnight sun in the Arctic goes from late March to late September

·        Choosing to attempt a rescue instead of continuing with the third heist reveals that Tigress has been stationed at the Arctic facility, presumably to oversee the guarding of Carmen's ground crew; unclear how/if she is involved in their transfer to Île d'Oléron for the ending of the 'perfect' route        ◦ The diner from the post-Arctic bad ending is located in none other than San Diego, suggesting that this is after Team Red purchases the Carmen Brand Outerwear warehouse (and is quite possibly the Best Sneaky Detail in this entire special asdfghj XDD)

Hell Creek (roughly 9.5h direct flight time plus 3.5h drive time from Heathrow to Hell Creek State Park)

·        Carmen more resigned than upset at the thought of stealing the T. rex bone for Bellum; would be in keeping with having managed to get through two heists for V.I.L.E. already ·        Archaeologist from Morocco can be seen entering one of the tents at the excavation site (a.k.a. the OTHER contender for Best Sneaky Detail XD)

·        Even considering something as risky as trying to catch and break into a plane while it's taking off may be another sign of strain/fatigue affecting Carmen; this would also fit with Montana being her third caper in a row ·        Research lab is approximately 200 miles away (and is attached to an amusement park like the discount version of a Michael Crichton novel, there's even a Tyrannosaurus head over the main entrance, this is ABSOLUTELY intentional XDD) ·        Bellum expected her to have snagged the bone within mere hours of landing in Montana ("been in Montana for an entire afternoon"); pushing Carmen to complete the thefts as quickly as possible is likely part of keeping her too busy to out-think V.I.L.E.'s trap ·        Carmen is offered the choice of El Topo or Le Chevre for assistance; El Topo will show up having helpfully researched potential exit routes while Le Chevre drops a pinecone on her head and calls her "the bossy one in [their] class" ·        Compared to El Topo, Le Chevre also distinctly under-impressed by the quality of A.C.M.E.'s suits ·        El Topo's knowledge of the tunnels underneath the combo museum/amusement park leads to a quick and A.C.M.E.-baffling disappearance after nabbing the bone; picking Le Chevre, on the other hand, leads to the very serious A.C.M.E. agents very seriously commandeering a dinosaur-themed roller coaster train in order to chase Carmen along said roller coaster's track until she manages a daringly acrobatic escape that ends with her hang-gliding off into the night (yes I have a favourite operative how can you tell)

·        As an alternative to a straight reconciliation with show-canon, might I suggest that riding a literal roller coaster in order to chase Carmen Sandiego through an amusement park in the middle of the night sounds suspiciously like someone trying to prank a newly-reinstated Devineaux? ;)

Terminal 5 of Heathrow Airport (unknown drive time plus roughly 9.5h direct flight time from Montana to Heathrow)

·        After she returns to the airport, the faculty sends Carmen an e-ticket for a ferry to the Île d'Oléron; she is to bring the dinosaur bone and caviar tins there to exchange for her ground crew ·        Somehow Julia has managed to track Carmen to Heathrow, unclear if A.C.M.E. aware; her attempt to tail the thief is quickly noticed and Carmen uses the opportunity to ask for her help

Île d'Oléron (roughly 75 min direct flight time from Heathrow to La Rochelle; ferry to the island takes another hour)

·        Paperstar watching from the Phare de Chassiron; as per the final bad ending, V.I.L.E. plans to have Lady Dokuso and the Cleaners ambush Carmen after she disembarks

·        All real-world ferries to Île d'Oléron look to be from La Rochelle; closest actual stop would be Saint-Denis-d'Oléron, approximately 4 km away, as the coastline near the lighthouse is too shallow to permit a commercial dock ·        Carmen has Julia take her place on the ferry and swims to the island instead, finds Zack and Ivy in the V.I.L.E. aircraft hangar there ·        Paperstar notices Julia's glasses and alerts the guards, interrupting their escape ·        Zack figures out how to fly a helicopter in a hurry and Carmen references Casablanca ("here's looking at you, crew"); terracotta warrior conveniently found to be already stowed/never unloaded in back

Julia's apartment, presumably still in Poitiers

·        All stolen items deposited neatly outside Julia's door, complete with a bouquet of roses; we do not see who rings the doorbell ·        One possible explanation for the opening and closing scenes of Ivy and Zack during the post-ending bonus music video is that they indeed managed to break out of their cell at least once while Carmen was busy with V.I.L.E.'s capers, even if they were then recaptured before they could find a way off the Arctic base; certainly their parts of the song are referenced in-episode during both the post-Xi'an check-in and the post-Arctic bad ending

Special vs. Canon

In terms of trying to fit the special with the rest of the show, both Carmen's dialogue ("which part of the last year", see estimated date for Boston caper in previous timeline) and the Arctic midnight sun reference suggest a late spring/early summer time frame, meaning roughly April to June-ish depending on how strict we want to be with the definition of a year. Shadow-san's absence from the faculty and from the special in general, plus the fact that the remaining members appear to be in some transitional location—as per the industrial metal-panel backgrounds during most of their calls to Carmen, rather than anything resembling either the Canary Islands school or the Outer Hebrides castle—isn't as definitive, but would at least be in keeping with a post-explosion (March-ish) pre-move-to-Scotland (October) placement.

There is also Julia's readiness to trust Carmen's intentions in Monte Carlo, combined with Carmen's "joined forces with Jules before" line, which would suggest that this is before Player Trojan-horses the A.C.M.E. database but after the Milan caper. Given the notable absence of any reference to Stockholm, this might further suggest a point after both that mishap and the failed Botswana collaboration because Carmen's willingness to reach out for A.C.M.E.'s help with the diamond mine could be seen as forgiveness for chasing her off a tower in Sweden—and with that attitude of letting bygones be bygones, Julia might consider doubling down on her faith in Carmen to be a more convincing apology than dragging up bad history.

With how quickly things go from Brunt dropping the Wolfebomb to Carmen salvaging the mainframe hard drive to her demanding answers from Shadow-san, it would be very difficult for the special to take place then regardless of how conveniently it would excuse the ninja's absence. However, there is an unspecified amount of time between that confrontation and Carmen showing up at Chief's usual coffee shop in Seattle—and since Carmen wouldn't have confirmed Shadow-san's truthfulness yet, he'd most likely still be benched in San Diego (nor would the faculty expect to see him with her given their belief in having driven a wedge between the two). Chase, at this point, would also have been retrieved from the island and fired by Interpol but not yet reactivated as an A.C.M.E. agent.

Although not a perfect reconciliation—that Carmen would be willing to put a hold on finding answers about her father's death in order to raid a random V.I.L.E. vault in Shanghai is... questionable, to say the least—the most plausible canon setting for the special would therefore seem to be after the reveal of how Shadow-san became a faculty member but before Team Red comes up with a plan for how to hack A.C.M.E.'s database.

As always, this is the work of only one person. If there's something missing or incorrect, let me know and I'm happy to update. Otherwise, I have a CS 2019 trivia tag for the things that didn't quite fit in either timeline, as well as the odd headcanon that does a little more reading-between-the-lines. ;) Have fun.

END

[coconutcows]

I know this post is mostly jokey, but if you look at characters other than piggy and Kermit, I think it’s more likely their kids could be…well anything.

Take Scooter for example. Scooter is a humanoid muppet, not anything specific, but in of Muppets and Men he claims his mother is a parrot and he doesn’t know about his father

Meanwhile, his Uncle, J.P. Grosse is a semi realistic human puppet

So either Scooters father is a deadbeat semi realistic human puppet who got with a parrot and produced a cartoony humanoid child, or J.P. Grosse has a sister that is a Parrot.

Muppet families and genetics don’t really prescribe to any sense of reality and I think we’re all doing ourselves a disservice by treating them realistically.

Speaking specifically of hypothetical Piggy/Kermit offspring, I personally like to believe the non serious comment George Lucas made about Yoda being the illegitimate child of Piggy and Kermit because it answers both the questions of why it would be a bad idea for them to have kids as well as the lack of information to Yodas species

forever sick and tired of people bringing up the muppet christmas carol when talking about interspecies muppet reproduction

the kids kermit and piggy "have" in that movie are not hypothetical children they could have. they're actors. in all the muppet adaptations of classic literature the point is that the muppets are acting. kermit is acting as bob crachit, piggy is acting as emily crachit, and so on and so forth. it's literally in the opening credits. tiny tim isn't kermit and piggy's child in an alternate universe. it's robin, kermit's nephew, playing the part of tiny tim.

please use actual canon muppet material and muppet interviews in your reseach

[monicascot]

Car Drive thru 7-Eleven funny video | Caught on camera | Uncovering thieves

Witness the epic Car Drive-thru adventure at 7-Eleven in this hilarious funny video! The whole escapade is Caught on Camera as two bumbling thieves attempt their daring heist. Prepare to laugh uncontrollably as the comedic chaos unfolds, revealing the Uncovering Thieves in action. Don't miss this rollercoaster ride of laughter and unexpected twists as the keyword "funny video" takes on a whole new level of hilarity!

[ang3lvrse]

WHELP CAPERS — m.jh

in which, you start ovulating in the middle of the night—something that your puppy catches on to even before you did

GENRE — pwp (barely any plot), hybrid au

WARNINGS — dubcon, reader is ovulating, jaehyun's hybrid-like attributes consist of a tail and ears, along with a hightened sense of smell and a lot more strength than a normal person, oral (fem! rec), much!jaehyun, clit biting, clit pinching, squirting, unprotected sex (don't!), doggy, clit pinching, scenting, let me know if i missed any!

WORDCOUNT— 2.8k

NOTE — another revamp, to apologise for the lack of bnd fics from me 🙏🏻 enha ver 1 & 2

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

a delicious smell wafted through the air, waking up jaehyun in the middle of the night. he groggily opened his eyes, his nose twitching. what the hell was that smell?

he managed to sit up, rubbing his tired eyes. he blinked carefully, still extremely sleepy. that smell… it only seemed to intensify by the minute. it was so good, but—what exactly was it?

he let his curiosity get the best of him, causing him to take a deep inhale—biggest mistake of his life. or was it?

the smell invaded his senses fully, a deep growl leaving his throat—unintentionally. his ears, that sat on top of his head, twitched. his eyes were wide open now. the smell had caused a stirring in his groin. there was no mistaking it. that smell was painfully similar to the smell that female dogs emitted when they were in heat. but—he was the only dog hybrid in this household, hell, the only hybrid in this household, so how–

he let out another groan, throwing his head back and closing his eyes, as the smell kept intensifying, affecting him more than it should have. his tail was thumping madly, his cock growing harder and harder, straining against his pants, begging to be let out. he couldn’t take it anymore, he had to find out the source of the smell, even fuck it if necessary–

he quickly got off the bed, following the smell. it wasn’t too hard to track it, given his amazing sense of smell. what did surprise him though, was the fact that the smell was coming from your room—which, in retrospect, did sadden him. did you get another hybrid while he was asleep? did you think that jaehyun wasn’t enough for you?

although, when he entered your room—which wasn’t hard, considering you always kept your door ajar, just in case your beloved puppy, aka jaehyun, ever needed something—he was pleasantly surprised to not be able to see, or sense the presence of another hybrid, dog or not. however, the smell was extremely strong inside your room, causing him to bite on his lip to stop a whimper from spilling out.

he noticed you on your stomach, your hands under your head, chest rising up and down slowly, indicating that you were fast asleep. another whiff confirmed the fact that the source of the overly delicious smell in your room was in fact, you.

but how were you emitting such a delectable smell? that was something he simply couldn’t wrap his head around. his innocent and pretty human, his almost naive owner, giving off such a provocative smell? how?

he went closer to the bed, his hands twitching from the effort of trying to hold back from jumping your sleeping form. you were driving him crazy, and neither you, nor him had any idea how.

he bent down near the bed. he had a suspicion, and was proven right. the aphrodisiac-like smell was coming from your core.

he put his hands on the bed, pushing down on them, climbing up on the bed. he knew it was wrong, this entire situation was wrong. but this was your fault, wasn’t it? all of it was your fault.

why were you wearing such skimpy shorts and a thin tank top that left barely anything to the imagination, to bed? don’t you realise that you live with a hybrid, who is, at the end of the day, a man? a man with needs? needs that he desperately wanted you to help him with?

you’re always such a fucking tease to him, always in those tiny little outfits that barely covered anything, prancing about in the apartment. such a naive thing too, never realising that the look in his eyes was lust, not curiosity. always calling him your ‘sweet little pup’, like he doesn’t jerk off to the thought of your face, begging him to fill you up and breed you like the little slut you were, every fucking night.

you never realised any of his dirty fantasies, never caught him doing anything as lewd as that. you couldn’t ever think jaehyun would harbour such disgusting thoughts about you, not even in your wildest dreams. poor you, if only you knew.

but sometimes, ignorance is bliss. especially now, when you left your door ajar, for him to come inside and do whatever he pleases. you wouldn’t mind that, right? no, you wouldn’t. if you did, you wouldn’t have left the door open. you leave it open for him anyways, so why would you mind?

maybe he was trying to justify his behaviour, he definitely was trying to justify it, but he couldn't bring himself to care right now. he leaned down, grabbed your thighs, and slowly pulled them apart. you wouldn't sleep in such a vulnerable position if you didn't want him to do something about it, would you?

he leaned closer to your core, taking a deep sniff from your shorts, immediately muffling a groan. the smell was so strong. with extreme cautiousness, he completely laid down between your legs, dragging his nose back and forth on the damp material of your skimpy shorts. fuck, you were so wet, and smelled so fucking delicious. the urge to devour you was extremely high.

so that's what he did. there was nothing stopping him, so why would he care? he pulled down the waistband of your shorts, your panties following them. he licked off the strings of arousal sticking to your panties from your core, his dick starting to hurt from how much it was straining against his boxers.

he trailed kisses up your thighs, as if apologising for what he was doing. he was horny, but not a complete monster. at least that's what he told himself, as he finally licked a long stripe up your slit. he felt you twitch against his tongue, a small muffled moan leaving you, the noise so subtle that it wouldn't have reached him if he didn't have a sharpened sense of hearing; perks of being a dog hybrid.

of course, what jaehyun was doing was bound to wake you up anyways, so he got right into it. he unhinged his jaw, as if trying to eat your entire pussy in one gulp, before he started ravishing you like he was a starving man and you were his first meal.

he licked and sucked, licked and sucked, whatever part he could reach. he was nuzzling his face inside your cunt, practically making out with it. the way he moaned into your pussy, it was as if he was getting relief from eating you out.

of course you had woken up. how could you not? the moment he started ravishing you, you had woken up with a jolt, the absolute unadulterated pleasure making your drowsy head spin. you could hear the sound of a tail thumping, causing you to widen your eyes in realisation—that was your little puppy!

you tried to crawl away from him, begging him to stop. “j-jaehyun w-wait, please– stop–” but all he did was let out a loud growl, the sound reverberating through your pussy, sending tingles of pleasure through you, as he continued to devour you. 

the pleasure was overwhelming, causing you to struggle to keep your eyes open. you couldn't get away from him, no, he was far too strong for you. all you could do was take what he was giving you. you couldn't help the unabashed moans and whimpers spilling out of your lips in a frenzy, begging him for more. it was wrong, so very wrong, but it felt so good.

you couldn't help but grind down on his face, something that he absolutely didn't mind. he bit your clit lightly, not even realising that he was humping the bed, too intent on trying to get you to cum on his tongue. he needed to taste you, absolutely had to taste you—if your slick tasted that good, he absolutely had to taste your cum.

your head felt like it was clouded in a mist—a mist of lust. all you could do was grind back on his face, high pitched whimpers of “jaehyun”, “feel s’good” and “r-right there!”s leaving you. you couldn't think at all, his mouth feeling a little too good on your needy cunt. almost as if he was made to eat you out.

he flattened his tongue on your clit, flicking it, before harshly sucking on it. he brought his hand up, pushing two fingers inside your fluttering hole, dragging them across your walls with incomparable expertise. your drawn out gasps and whines encouraged him, causing him to drag them harder, with purpose. your shuddering body caused him to moan into your cunt, the vibrations causing more slick to pour out of you, which he gladly drank up.

he pushed his fingers in deeper, curling them, to hit a spot that had you crying out his name in ecstasy. he thrusted his fingers in and out of you at a faster pace, making sure to hit that spot everytime, your loud cries and whimpers, paired with the squelching sounds from your pussy, being the only sounds in the room.

he switched his fingers with his mouth, pushing his tongue inside, shoving it as far as it would go, his face practically becoming one with your pussy. his thumb rubbed circled onto your clit at a fast pace, trying to coax your orgasm out of you. you grinded back on his face, your walls clamping around the thick muscle of his tongue.

the band in your stomach continued to tighten, threatening to snap at any moment. you choked out a moan, trying to form a coherent sentence. “j-jaehyun, i’m s-so close–” you let out a loud gasp, your eyes rolling back, as he pinched your clit harshly, the band in your stomach finally snapping. your mouth was open in a silent scream, your ears ringing, as your orgasm crashed over you like a tsunami. your entire body was shaking, legs feeling like jelly, as it finally stopped, your chest heaving up and down, panting.

you had never squirted before. but you did today, all because of your puppy’s mouth. as the post-orgasm clarity hit you, you realised you were ovulating—which would make perfect sense, if you looked at the date carefully. your eyes widened, as you remembered that dogs and dog hybrids alike have a stronger sense of smell. it was possible that jaehyun had smelled you, which caused him to act the way he did.

but you had no time to ponder, as you heard the sound of shuffling behind you. before you could say anything, you were suddenly lifted up, so that your back hit jaehyun’s chest, which was—bare, for some reason. your eyes widened as he tugged on your tank top, before impatiently tearing it off.

you let out a loud gasp, but didn’t have anytime to react otherwise, feeling his cock poking at your wet entrance. your eyes widened, as you tried to stop him. you tried to push his hands away—a useless move on your part. he was strong, much stronger than humans.

you had no other option but to let it happen.

jaehyun let out a loud groan, as he rubbed his angry red tip on your dripping folds, collecting your wetness. he whispered in your ear. “you don’t actually want me to stop, do you? if you did, you wouldn’t have worn these sorry excuses of clothes to bed, would you? you wanted this, wanted me to come and take you in the middle of the night, didn’t you?”

you couldn’t speak, the overstimulation from your previous orgasm sending your brain into overdrive, his words barely registering. each time his cock rubbed across your folds a mixture of pain and pleasure shot up your spine, your cloudy brain starting to register only the pleasure. it hurt, but it hurt so good.

he tapped his mushroom tip on your clit, sending jolts of pleasure up your spine, causing you to flinch. he spoke in a mocking tone, making it clear that he was taunting you. “fuck princess, don’t jump like that. almost made me think you didn’t want this.”

he didn't let you answer,—not that you could, given how overstimulated you were—pushing his mushroom tip in. the tip itself stretched you out, your bottom lip pulled in between your teeth, as you let choked back a whimper. you unconsciously rocked your hips back, trying to get him to fuck you properly.

he let out an amused chuckle, slowly pushing himself inside. your eyes rolled back, his cock hitting every single spot, dragging across your walls deliciously. the slow pace of him pushing inside you had your back arching, ripping out a broken mewl. he felt so, so good inside you. 

even if everything about it was wrong, it just felt so fucking right.

he filled you up to the brim, and then some more. he just kept going and going and going. finally, he stopped, fully sheathed in your, the veins on his cock pulsing inside you at a rapid pace. you clenched around him, trying to make him move. you needed it, desperately needed it.

the abundant slick you were producing had made the glide way too fucking easy, your pussy clamped around him like a vice. you were a temptation that he could never even think of resisting, let alone attempt to.

his grip on your hips was tight, tight enough to leave bruises, as he pulled himself almost completely out, before slamming right back in—somehow managing to fit another non-existent inch inside of you. you had to stifle your cries, as he set a ruthless pace, one that left you dizzy—not just because of how well he was hitting all the right spots, but also because of the force with which he was hitting them.

but biting down on your fist could only take you so far, before he shoved your hand away from your mouth. without stopping his brutal pace, he leaned closer to your ear, whispering in it. “c’mon baby, don’t muffle your pretty noises. let me hear you sing, yea? need to hear how good i make you feel.”

his words somehow managed to bring out a fresh wave of slickness out of you, dripping down his length, past his balls. it was maddening, the loud sounds of squelching between your bodies, jaehyun’s grunting, and your moans. all of it combined into a white noise in your ears, leaving your brain hazy. you could barely think, let alone form a coherent sentence. the slightly unaffected part of your brain screamed ‘slow down!’, while the other half screamed at him to go faster. whether you said either of those out loud, you wouldn’t know, since he was too busy trying to hit your g-spot.

he lifted your hips upwards slightly, pushing down on your back to make you arch better. the new angle had you letting out shuddering noises of pleasure, your eyes rolling into the back of your head, making you see stars. yep, he had definitely found the spot.

he pounded into you at a faster, more desperate pace, muttering furiously in your ear, trying to force an orgasm out of you again—not that he needed to do much convincing.

“c’mon baby, squeeze my cock harder, show me that you like this.”

“yea princess, you like that? like when i bully my cock harder into your sensitive little cunt?”

“fucking hell angel, pussy feels so good—gonna cum on my cock, yea? s’fucking close, aren’t you?”

he pinched your clit harshly, before rubbing circles around it at a maddening pace, occasionally flicking it. that was your last straw. your eyes rolled back into your head, your mouth open in a silent scream, as your cunt squeezed around his length harshly, spasming as you coated it in your release. he kept fucking you through your orgasm, a white ring forming at the base of his cock.

his own followed not too long after, your pussy milking him for all he was worth, as he spurted load after load of hot cum inside you, veins on its sides pulsing wildly. he pulled his softening length out, despite it giving a last weak twitch inside you.

he flipped you over, carefully laying your exhausted body down, collapsing next to you. as if a switch had flipped inside him, he returned to his normal puppy boy nature, snuggling up to you, his nose dragging across your neck, scenting you—despite his scent having fully engulfed you after the rough dicking down he gave you.

your mind swam in and out of consciousness, exhausted from your previous activities, feeling him occasionally lick your neck. you could discuss what had just transpired this night later on, the next morning perhaps—but right now, all you needed was some good sleep.

[barrenclan]

I'm sorry but whenever I think of human versions of your characters I always picture Hacksaw as some badass tatted up motorcycle lady who wears as much leather as possible and Ranger is just vaguely Joe Dirt with a goofy ass walmart tee that says something like "officer, my guns are here" (two arrows pointing at the arms). He just picks fights with people or gets under their skin and then Hacksaw beats them up. ty for coming to my ted talk

What an excellently timed question for showing off the Patreon illustration reward I did last month (which you can vote on and see early for just one American dollar a month!), which was humanized Hacksaw and Ranger designs!

Here's the rambly lore I came up for, which slots into my PATFW human AU:

Rachel Frost was a notorious car thief, known for brazen daylight capers that she nonetheless always outran the cops on, screaming across highways and narrowly avoiding death. Though short-statured, she nonetheless possessed deadly hand-to-hand combat and especially knife combat skills, and left a trail of bodies in her wake.

Hank Summers was a financial fraudster, con artist, and expert money launderer operating out a series of dingy basements and broken-down hotels in Arizona, always managing to stay one step ahead of the authorities as he scammed and hacked dozens out of their life savings.

It was on a getaway bust in 1971 that Rachel broke into Hank's car, threatening him to drive or she'd slit his throat. To her surprise, Hank was more than willing to go along and flirted all the way, and it quickly became clear that he was head-over-heels for the vivacious fugitive. They got along like a house on fire, tearing across the southwestern US and earning the nickname "the scourges of the southwest". Then one day, the two of them seemingly vanished off the face of the earth, nothing more than a dead-end paper trail and a junkyard full of scrapped vehicles showing they were there at all.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

SFX Magazine Issue 368, August 2023

THEY’RE BACK – AND THIS TIME THEY’RE IN ALL-NEW TERRITORY. NEIL GAIMAN TALKS RETURNING FOR SEASON TWO OF GOOD OMENS

THE RASCALLY DEMON Crowley (David Tennant) and the neurotic angel Aziraphale (Michael Sheen) put aside their differences to pull off one doozy of a Hail Mary and prevent an impending Apocalypse in Good Omens’ first season. The task cemented the pair’s unconventional friendship. So what are divine beings, who have fallen out of grace with both Heaven and Hell, to do for an encore?

The answer lies with archangel Gabriel (Jon Hamm), who shows up unannounced on the doorstep of Aziraphale’s London bookshop. Suddenly, Aziraphale and Crowley are caught up in a caper of biblical proportions – but also a more intimate tale.

“It’s a mystery,” showrunner Neil Gaiman tells SFX. “It kicks off a story that doesn’t have giant consequences for the universe, even if it does have consequences for Aziraphale and Crowley. We have a lot of the marvellous Jon Hamm, who is the angel Gabriel and turns up at the beginning stark naked, carrying a cardboard box with no memory of who he is. In the same way, it is about Aziraphale and Crowley having to get involved with humanity in a way that they haven’t before.

“They get dragged in slightly against their will to try to sort out the love life of Aziraphale’s tenant,” he continues. “Her name is Maggie [Maggie Service] and she runs the record shop next to the bookshop. You’ll see the coffee shop over the road, which is Nina’s [Nina Sosanya]. The relationship between Maggie and Nina is one that Crowley and Aziraphale try to fix, and mess up, because they are not good at human relationships, even if they can do miracles.”

Truth be told, Gaiman never originally intended this arc to serve as Good Omens’ second instalment. The TV series was based on Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s 1990 novel. The two collaborators had partially hashed out the details for a sequel to the fantasy comedy, late one night in a hotel room. This, however, is not it. Gaiman instead plotted a new narrative that could provide the connective tissue between the first season and a theoretical season three, if it happens.

“Because the hypothetical season three exists, there is a story that is there, and I didn’t feel that we could drive straight from season one into that,” Gaiman explains. “I knew what the stakes were. I knew what the parameters were. I also knew that I had David and Michael. I had the angels from plot number one.

I had demons from plot number one. And with anybody that I wanted to bring back, but didn’t have room for right now, I did not have to bring them back as themselves. “I had absolutely nothing for Madame Tracy to do in this plot, but I would be damned if Miranda Richardson wasn’t going to be in this. She is one of my favourite people in the world. She is hilarious and is so good. And I knew I was going to have a new demon replacing Crowley as Hell’s representative in London/ the UK. Miranda’s demon Shax is the best demon you could want.”

It’s late February 2022 and SFX is in Edinburgh for a set visit. A soundstage in Pyramids Studios has been transformed into a street in Soho. The visible local stores include the aforementioned book, coffee and record shops, as well as a magic establishment. In the middle of them all stand Aziraphale and Crowley, the latter in close proximity to his classic Bentley. It’s close to the end of the six-episode season, so exactly what the duo is discussing constitutes a spoiler. We can say, however, that Aziraphale has picked up the pace. Time is of the essence as Shax marshals her forces to descend on Aziraphale’s store and retrieve Gabriel.

“This is really Shax’s first time out on Earth,” Gaiman explains. “She is working very diligently and very hard in Hell for a long time. Now she is on Earth, trying to figure it all out. She’s just discovering what Crowley has known for 6,000 years, which is that if you’re a demon and come up with a brilliant plan to screw up the lives of humanity, people will get there first and do worse than anything you could have imagined! She’s coming to terms with that.

“She is having to deal with the first crisis on her watch, as well, which is the disappearance of the archangel Gabriel from Heaven. It would be fair to say that by the end of the story, she is leading as much as she can get from Hell’s requisition department – a legion of Hell – in an attack on a Soho bookshop.”

When audiences catch up with Aziraphale again, he’s enjoying his time among humans. He owns most of the block in a Soho neighbourhood, and he’s meddling in Nina’s love life. Meanwhile, Crowley has been living in his car, with his plants sitting on the back seat. He’s grumpy about his current status quo, but frequently hangs out at Aziraphale’s. The duo began as antagonists, but their history and blossoming relationship will be fleshed out in flashbacks.

“One of the enormously fun things I came up with is the idea of minisodes,” Gaiman explains. “They are 25-minute-long episodes within the episode. We have three of them over our six episodes. Each of them is like one of those chunks of episode three [in season one]. Whereas the longest one of those was four or five minutes, if that, these are full stories.

“You get to have the story of [put-upon Biblical figure] Job, and you learn Aziraphale and Crowley’s part in the story. Then writer Cat Clarke takes us to Edinburgh in the 1820s for a tale of body-snatching and attempted murder that the boys get involved in,” he adds.

“Finally, Jeremy Dyson and Andy Nyman reunite the League Of Gentlemen in a Nazi-period story that takes place very shortly after the episode in the church. That one was the only one I said had to be there, because I fell in love with our Nazi spies in the church. I kept thinking, ‘What would happen if they essentially came back as zombies, with a mission from Hell to try and investigate whether or not Crowley and Aziraphale were actually fraternising?’”

Gaiman admits that one of the greatest challenges has been filming Good Omens simultaneously with his upcoming show Anansi Boys. The two shoot within throwing distance of each other, but are both timeconsuming endeavours.

“If I could go back in time, I would go back to 16 September 2020, when Douglas Mackinnon [co-producer] and I got the phone call from the Amazon bigwigs to say, ‘We have good news for you and interesting news for you,’” Gaiman recalls. “‘The good news is we are greenlighting both Good Omens and Anansi Boys. The interesting news is you are going to have to do them both at the same time.’

“I would go back to then and I would throw myself on the call and say, ‘Neil, don’t! This is unwise.’ That we are doing them both together is great. The amount of sleep I am not getting is monumental and monstrous.

“It’s a little bit like childbirth, in that I managed to forget all the things that drove me nuts about the first one. Having said that, I managed to fix all the things that really drove me nuts making season one, which is great. We just have a whole new set of problems making season two…”

The Odd Couple - David Tennant and Michael Sheen talk character and sets for season two

Crowley and Aziraphale come off as the best of frenemies at times. Where do they stand with one other now?

DT: They are indeed. What’s different in season two is because of what happened at the end of season one, they no longer have head offices that they have to report to. They are in a very different position. Whereas before they were trying to get away with things, now they are kind of free agents.

MS: Although sort of fugitives as well. They are sort of in-between. But this amazing life they have created over a millennia, they are now able to enjoy in a slightly different way. They are not having to put on a front for their respective teams. There is a different kind of freedom.

DT: While at the same time being cut off, so they are also strangers in a strange land.

MS: That kind of connects them in a slightly different way. They have always been the only two beings who could understand each other’s position. Now they are pushed even closer together.

Now that they have the run of the place with no obligations, does that bring its own set of problems, being cut off?

DT: They have this sort of uneasy relationship. They are not entirely cut off from their head offices. Indeed, their head offices are quite keen to exploit that sort of adjacent connection, as we will see as the story unfolds. They exist in this grey area, neither the supernatural nor of the Earth.

MS: By the time we pick up their story in this series, they have appeared in time where they were kind of let alone a bit more. When we pick the story up, they are being bothered again.

The depth and the richness and the detail of what we are seeing on set here in Edinburgh is mind-blowing. How is it for you having it all in one place now, rather than having filming scattered around the UK?

MS: It’s completely changed the experience of doing it. Just being indoors… The Soho set on the first season was freezing cold.

DT: I was in a car park. Even inside the bookshop I was exposed to the elements! There’s a greater percentage of the show set here. There was a practical imperative to making it a manageable environment. If we had been in a car park, the elements might have impinged our ability to film.

Hellraiser - David Tennant is Crowley

You and Michael know these characters inside out. Do you have a shorthand?

It’s a hard thing to be objective about. Although I didn’t know Michael that well before we shot season one, it was always easy and exciting working together. It’s well-oiled now, for sure. It’s certainly fun to come to work. We enjoy bouncing off each other.

How comfortable are they about becoming involved with Gabriel?

I suppose Aziraphale is a much more enthusiastic detective. We are very much voting for the spin-off called The Azirafiles, which will follow this! As with most things, Crowley is reluctant to get involved or to exhibit any kind of energy or enthusiasm about very much. He is dragged kicking and screaming into this. Necessity forces him to get involved, whereas Aziraphale rather likes it.

Where does Crowley hang out these days?

He spends a lot of time in the book shop. He only has one friend. He can only have one friend. That is the great liberation, and also the great prison, that they find themselves in. They have no one else. They have come to rely on each other more than they ever did. And more than they care to admit.

Crowley is a rock star, in a way. Were there any particular musicians that inspired you?

Not consciously, no. The look was assembled accidentally during the first costume sessions. The Crowley of the book is of the mode when the book was written. He is more kind of Wall Street, the way he is described. We just decided that Crowley should always be of the moment he’s in. We were just trying to find a look that we felt fitted.

Divine Being - Michael Sheen is Aziraphale

How has knowing your characters better informed this series?

The first series was the first time we really properly worked together. It feels like we haven’t stopped working together since. Everything that has happened in-between plays into coming back to these characters. I am sure it is all feeding into it. It’s very difficult for us to know how that is informing the characters and their relationships.

With the flashbacks to various points in Earth’s history, is there a period of time Aziraphale enjoys the most?

One of the most enjoyable things for the audience and us is moving through different historical periods. It’s a great source of joy, and people thoroughly enjoyed that episode in the first series, so that has been expanded on in season two. But in terms of which Aziraphale enjoys the most, I think it’s not actually a period of time that we’ve seen him in on this series.

He would have been happiest at the end of the 19th century, in the Victorian era, which is considered the golden age of magic. He would have loved being with the greats like Harry Houdini. He loved the Victorian period. It was a great period of time for philanthropy and doing good works in a municipal way.

How has it been going from something dark like The Prodigal Son to a more whimsical show?

That’s the nature of an actor’s job. You go from one thing to another. In some ways, it’s even more useful to have big differences between the characters. What tends to happen, and I think most actors feel this way, is if you are playing one character for a long time, part of you yearns to play the bits the character doesn’t have. There’s a naivety and an innocence about Aziraphale. But at the same time, underneath that, there is eons of knowledge and experience.

[https-rediation]

A Complete and (Hopefully) Accurate Timeline of Carmen Sandiego

During my second rewatch of this show (I only found it in December okay) I suddenly found myself with a burning question, when the hell is all of this going on?

I quickly realized I could go and find out

So I began my 3rd rewatch, and a month later here we are

Each date is bolded with a brief description of the event and the episode in which you can find the information. Any quotes are taken from what is said within the show and only altered in order to flow with my sentence structure

As a disclaimer this is my first pass at the timeline and what I've immediately noticed while rewatching the show, please tell me if I've missed anything 🙏

March 01, 1999 - Carmen Sandiego is born (Season 2 Episode 10)

Carmen's birthday in previous media has been declared as March 1st, so I'm keeping that for simplicities sake. The year 1999 comes from Vera Cruz's tombstone; Vera Cruz "died" two weeks before her estate burned down, and as Carmen was beginning to walk at this time it places her at anywhere between 9-18 months of age.

This does give leeway for her to be born in 1998 (born in March 1998, house burns in Jan-Sep 1999) or 1999 (born in March 1999, house burns around December 1999) I chose 1999 because it would mean Carmen would be 20 (what Duane has declared Carmen's age during the events of the show) in 2019 (when the show aired) which I found fitting.

December 1999 - Vera Cruz's estate in burns down, Dexter Wolfe is killed. (Season 2 Episode 10)

June 2000 - Carlotta Valdez opens an orphanage (Season 4 Episode 8)

Chief relays while going over Dexter Wolfe and Carlotta Valdez's files that Valdez founded an orphanage 6 months after Wolfe's death.

March 01, 2015 - Carmen turns 16 (Season 1 Episode 1)

September 2015-February 2016 - Carmen receives her first call from Player (Season 1 Episode 1)

Duane has stated that Carmen was 16 when Player first called. Under the assumption that VILE follows a standard school year for the area (September-June), Carmen has to get this call after September so she enrolls in the following year, when she's instead 17. If she starts her first year at 17 as opposed to 16 it gets her closer to 20 when the show starts.

tl;dr: Player calls Carmen after the school year begins in September but before she turns 17 in March so it's as close to accurate to Duane's estimation of age later in the timeline.

March 01, 2016 - Carmen turns 17 (Season 1 Episode 1)

September 2016 - Carmen's first year at VILE Academy begins (Season 1 Episode 1)

December 01, 2016 - Cookie Booker arrives at VILE Island, Carmen and her classmates pull prank and get detention. (Season 1 Episode 1)

March 01, 2017 - Carmen turns 18 (Season 1 Episode 1)

June 2017 - VILE final exams, graduation, and Casablanca Caper (Season 1 Episodes 1-2)

July 2017-August 2017 - Carmen spends her summer under close scrutiny by the Faculty for her actions in Casablanca (Season 1 Episode 2)

Player, once Carmen retrieves her phone as she's attempting to escape the island, claims that Carmen hadn't "called [him] all summer long". Player is Canadian, their school years typically follow the September-June schedule, further implying that this same schedule is implemented at VILE Academy.

September 2017 - Carmen's holdover year begins (Season 1 Episode 2)

December 01, 2017 - Cookie Booker arrives with VILE hard drive, Carmen escapes the island (Season 1 Episode 2)

March 01, 2018 - Carmen turns 19

March 2018-May 2018 - Events of the Boston Tea Party Caper (Season 2 Episode 5)

Carmen recalls that the Boston Tea Party Caper had "been a few months since [she] escaped from VILE Island" and that "months of preparation were about to be put to the test" "A few months" is pretty vague, I'd say it's more than 2 months but less than 6. With graduation presumably happening in June, and El Topo being confused in his confrontation with Carmen because she "did not graduate", we can assume the new year had not yet concluded. This makes the cutoff for the Caper's events May.

May-June 2018 - Switzerland, Cairo, and Shanghai Capers (Season 1 Episode 1)

Carmen engaged in at least 3 additional Capers following the Boston Tea Party Caper (Season 2 Episode 5) but prior to the events of the first episode, information given to us courtesy of Devineaux and Julia's conversation at the beginning of the first episode.

Devineaux claims that "in just the last few weeks, this Carmen Sandiego has managed to rob millions of euros combined". A few weeks is a broad range of time, but likely not more than a month or so, which is why I've placed these three capers only slightly before the Poitiers robbery.

June 2018 - Carmen robs Cleo's vault in Poitier, runs into Crackle on train to Paris (Season 1 Episodes 1-2)

This event is 18 months prior to ACME taking Graham into custody and restoring his memories. As Devineaux is questioning him in the Big Bad Ivy Caper (Season 4 Episode 2), he asks if Graham would "care to tell [him] what [he was] doing on the train from Poitiers to Paris 18 months ago".

The events of the Big Bad Ivy Caper happen in December 2019, which if we track to 18 months prior, would be June. December 2019 is explained later in the timeline.

June-August 2018 - Events of the Sticky Rice Caper (Season 1 Episode 3)

August 2018 - Julia Argent and Chase Devineaux transfer employment from Interpol to ACME (Season 1 Episode 4)

In the French Connection Caper (Season 1 Episode 9), Devineaux's transfer from Interpol is stated to be "nearly 6 months ago" by Bellum as the Faculty observes the data they had managed to collect on him. With the French Connection Caper taking place in February 2019 (right before Hot Rocks of Rio Caper (Season 2 Episodes 1-2), which is Carnival, which is celebrated in February), August is "nearly 6 months" prior to that.

August 2018-February 2019 - Events of Season 1 Episodes 5-8

February 2019 - Events of the French Connection Caper (Season 1 Episode 9)

Early-Mid February 2019 - Events of The Hot Rocks of Rio Caper (Season 2 Episodes 1-2)

Mid February 2019 - Events of The Daisho Caper (Season 2 Episode 3)

February 19, 2019-February 25, 2019 - Events of The Fashionista Caper (Season 2 Episode 4)

To explain the previous five dates, the Hot Rocks of Rio (Season 2 Episodes 1-2) and Fashionista Capers both have events that only happen at a specific time of year, that being Carnival and Milan's Fashion Week respectively. They happen in late February to early March depending on the year. As Season 2 is set in 2019, this happens to be a bit inconvenient. Carnival actually happens in March while the fashion show occurs in February during 2019.

Since these dates conflict with the linearity of the show I've decided to push back Carnival to be sometime earlier in February as it has been in past years to fit with the show's continuity. I kept Milan's Fashion Week as it was in the real world because it's easiest that way.

It's entirely unsurprising to me that this kind of conflict has occurred as Season 2 was released in 2019 itself, meaning it was most definitely developed prior with general estimates of dates in mind.

With these capers directly following the French Connection Caper (as Devineaux is still in the hospital when Carmen is in Rio) that places The French Connection Caper in February as well.

March 01, 2019 - Carmen turns 20

March 2019-April 2019 - Events of Season 2 Episodes 6-7

April 2019 - Events of The Stockholm Syndrome Caper (Season 2 Episode 8)

The Need for Speed (Season 2 Episode 6) and Crackle Goes Kiwi (Season 2 Episode 7) Capers don't really have any indicators of when they occur, but The Stockholm Syndrome Caper happens while snow is still falling in Stockholm, Sweden. This places it in April at the latest, which is likely actually the month it takes place because at the end of the episode when Maelstrom and the rest of the faculty are addressing VILE's final graduating class Maelstrom mentions Valborg, a Swedish holiday that is celebrated at the end of April to announce the end of winter and coming of spring.

May 2019 - Shadowsan's goes on Capers during Carmen's recovery (Season 2 Episode 9)

As Valborg happens at the end of April, and so too does presumably the Stockholm Syndrome Caper (Season 2 Episode 8) as well, this means that Shadowsan's capers occur throughout the duration of May. He goes on at least four capers during Carmen's recovery period, which we can discern through what is briefly relayed by Player. These Capers take place in Belgium, Poland, Taiwan, and an area in the Austrian Alps; their cities being Antwerp, Krakow, and Taipei respectively. Her absence likely spans the majority of this month between the amount of rest she needed and the time it took to train so that she would be in the best condition to return to capers.

June 2019 - VILE Headquarters is blown up (Season 2 Episode 10)

June 2019 (1 week after explosion) - Devineaux arrives at VILE Island (Season 2 Episode 10)

June 2019 - Events of The African Ice Caper (Season 2 Episode 9)

June-July 2019 (1 week after Devineaux's arrival) - Carmen arrives at VILE Island (Season 2 Episode 10)

VILE Headquarters is blown up following the graduation of VILE Academy's final class. Back at the end of the Stockholm Syndrome Caper (Season 2 Episode 8), Coach Brunt tells the students that "upon graduating, it will be [their] prime directive to take [Carmen] down". This implies that at the time of the faculty's speech, those students were not yet graduating, so VILE would have to wait until after the school year had closed to wipe the island.

Since this school year likely ends in June, as previously gone over in this timeline, that means that the events occurring in the African Ice (Season 2 Episode 9) and Deep Dive (Season 2 Episode 10) Capers were sometime in June as well. This is further supported by the fact that in the Luchadora Tango Caper (Season 3 Episode 1), VILE had seen "no sign of [Carmen] all summer long" and ACME had not "heard nor seen any sign of her for weeks". Her last appearance until the Luchadora Tango Caper was when she stole information from ACME directly after the African Ice Caper, right at the edge of summer.

October 30, 2019 - Events of The Luchadora Tango Caper (Season 3 Episode 1)

We know this caper has to take place sometime in the fall, as per the summer statements made by VILE and ACME. It's clarified that this is specifically October because at the end of the episode Maelstom mentions that "Halloween is nearly upon [them]". As Halloween is at the end of October, you can put two and two together. 30th is further defined in the Day of the Dead Caper (Season 3 Episode 2), which takes place on the 31st (VILE is dressed up for Halloween), when you see Julia and Chase talking to Chief directly after the events of the Luchadora Tango Caper.

October 31, 2019 - Events of The Day of the Dead Caper (Season 3 Episode 2)

The Day of the Dead is traditionally celebrated November 1st and 2nd, though dates prior and post can also be included depending on the location. In this case, the episode showcases the celebrations on October 31st, aka Halloween.

Vlad and Boris are seen "trick or treating" and VILE is dressed up for the occasion, with it decidedly being Cleo's "worst Halloween ever" after Spinkick and Flytrap's failure at the end of the Caper.

Player also directly addresses the fact that "festivities typically begin the night before, on All Hallows' Eve", with All Hallows' Eve being an alternative name for Halloween.

On a slightly different note, the episode also addresses part of VILE's school year, as there were "delays caused by the move", they were forced to begin classes in "the winter quarter [that] year". This further proves their September-June schedule as it implies that the school year typically begins in the fall.

November 02, 2019 - Events of The Haunted Bayou Caper (Season 3 Episode 3)

The "Crawfish King", local celebrity chef in New Orleans, hosts a costume gala at his historic mansion "the first Saturday after Halloween" every year, stated in the episode by CK himself. With Season 3 presumably occurring in 2019, this makes Halloween a Thursday and the first Saturday thereafter November 2nd.

November 04, 2019 - Events of the Masks of Venice Caper (Season 3 Episode 4)

At the beginning of the episode, the VILE Faculty are seen eating excess Halloween candy; while Cleo complains about their indulgence, Maelstrom addresses "last night's bayou fiasco", and that they're looking forward to Cleo's "mask-themed scheme".

Since the operatives were "preparing to rendezvous as [they spoke]", this means the caper happens directly after they address it in conversation. This also means both Devineaux and Carmen are flying to Italy the morning of November 3rd, after the Bayou Caper. As this flight is about 12 hours, they would have landed in the evening/very early morning in Italy, meaning that their exploration around the city and actual Caper would have had to have happened the next day, November 4th.

November 05, 2019 - Events of The Jolly Good Show Caper (Season 3 Episode 5)

Player clearly says in the episode that "it's the 5th of November, a British holiday" when Carmen asks why VILE would want to steal the British crown jewels on that specific day.

You can also deduce that it's the 5th because a the end of the Masks of Venice Caper as Mimebomb is reporting the night's events, Roundabout reassures the faculty that "before the day [was] over, [they would] have Neal the Eel slithering free, and Carmen Sandiego in [their] clutches". As this report is happening the morning after the failed caper, this would place the Jolly Good Show Caper the ensuing night of November 5th as well.

November 2019 - Events of the Beijin Bullion Caper (Season 4 Episode 1)

The fourth season begins with Roundabout and Neal's mind wipe, though it goes awry. As it's presumably the morning after the Crown Jewels disaster, very little time passes between the Jolly Good Show and Beijing Bullion Caper.

Early December 2019 - Events of The Big Bad Ivy Caper (Season 4 Episode 2)

Player begins attending school this episode in December (with the Big Bad Ivy Caper happening on his first day of school).

We can deduce this month based on the calendar in Julia's office, observable in the V.I.L.E. History (Season 4 Episode 5) and Egyptian Decryption (Season 4 Episode 6) Capers. The month they are in during this time is composed of 5 weeks, with the last four days grayed-out, presumably cutting into the next month. This makes the month 31 days, lining up well with December.

Originally I had believed that this calendar had perfectly lined up with that of December 2019 (with the 1st of the month being a Sunday and the 31st a Tuesday), but then I realized the calendar Julia has is likely one that follows the month by Monday-Sunday rather than Sunday-Saturday.

This does mean that is is slightly off from what I thought previously, but still rather fitting nonetheless. Friday the 26th, as Julia had marked for her and Devineax's meeting, would instead be Friday the 27th on the 2019 calendar, so everything still more or less works out.

Now, to explain how this all relates to Player in school and the Big Bad Ivy Caper, we need to actually look forward into the Himalayan Rescue Caper (Season 4 Episode 4) as well. During the Himalayan Rescue Caper, Devineaux attempts to talk to Julia about Carmen and she postpones their conversation until "next Friday, at noon". This places the Himalayan Rescue Caper a week prior to the Egyptian Decryption Caper (when Devineaux arrives for lunch and finds Julia missing).

It is also addressed in the Himalayan Rescue Caper that Carmen didn't want to involve Player on the mission because he had "already been sent to detention on [her] account, and [it was] only his first week in school". THIS means that the Big Bad Ivy Caper (Player's first day of school) was about a week prior to the Himalayan Rescue Caper which is a week prior to the Egyptian Decryption Caper

tl;dr 2nd Week of December: Player starts school, Big Bad Ivy Caper

3rd Week of December: Robo + Himalayan Rescue Caper ("it's only his first week in school")

4th Week of December: V.I.L.E. History and Egyptian Decryption Capers (calendar lines up with Dec 2019, Devineaux lunch meeting marked for 26th)

Mid December 2019 - Events of The Robo Caper and The Himalayan Rescue Caper (Season 4 Episodes 3-4)

These events are back to back, with Graham's kidnapping and then ensuing rescue being a time-sensitive issue. Reason for December already explained.

Mid-Late December 2019 - Carmen acquires the ancient VILE relics (Season 4 Episodes 5-6)

Carmen hunts the VILE relics in two episodes, likely only a few days prior to her escapade in Egypt as she's actively racing VILE from location to location.

December 27, 2019 (~1 week post Himalayan Rescue Caper) - Devineaux goes to Julia's office for lunch, Carmen and Devineaux save Julia in Egypt (Season 4 Episode 6)

The calendar on Julia's desk is marked for the 26th, with it likely following the month from Mon-Sun as opposed to Sun-Sat (previously gone over in the Big Bad Ivy Caper). This would in fact make the 26th a Friday, though in 2019 this was not actually the case. The 26th was a Thursday and 27th a Friday, so I've pushed the date a day forward to match.

I doubt the creators were observing a 2019 calendar in order to precisely select a date for this event so I'm just rolling with what I've got.

Devineaux leaves Oxford for Egypt sometime after noon (when he was meant to meet Julia), and he and Carmen rendezvous at the pyramids to save Julia later in the day as the sun is setting, not quite cutting into the 28th.

December 28, 2019 - Julia and Devineaux give statements to the reporters for their historic find in the pyramids, Julia meets with Chief (Season 4 Episode 6)

It is the following morning when Julia and Devineaux talk to the press, as it's now light out.

Julia is seen in her office later in the day (back in Oxford), observing the footage when Chief appears to speak to her and schedule a meeting with Carmen.

December 29, 2019 - Carmen and Chief meet, Carmen is kidnapped (Season 4 Episode 6)

When Player analyzes Julia's most recent blog post, he tells Carmen that "if you line it up like a date and time, it's tomorrow, at 8 AM", in reference to the coded numbers at the end of each paragraph.

After Carmen and Chief's brief conversation on the 29th Carmen sits on a bench sometime later observing the city, and is subsequently kidnapped by VILE.

December 30, 2019 - Team Red hunts for clues about Carmen's location, Julia rejoins ACME, Carmen is brainwashed (Season 4 Episode 7)

It is late when we see Shadowsan at the grounds in which Carmen was captured in Seattle. Player claims to have "spent the last 24 hours hacking into every surveillance feed in Seattle [he] could find", meaning Carmen had been missing for an entire day.

In that same time frame across the city, Julia reunites with Devineaux as an ACME agent once again

We proceed to jump to Carmen whose memories are forcibly wiped in order to turn her into a VILE operative, all within the same evening.

January 20-January 26, 2020 - Shadowsan returns to the ruins of VILE Island (Season 4 Episode 7)

The show says that Shadowsan's return is three weeks after Carmen's kidnapping, but it's unclear how long "three weeks" refers to, as it could be exactly 21 days or bordering on four weeks with up to 26.

January 21-January 27 - Carmen goes on her first caper as a VILE Operative (Season 4 Episode 7)

The Caper is held the day after Shadowsan acquires information about the plan while on the island, so depending on when the three week jump is, this is the day after.

March 01, 2020 - Carmen turns 21 July 2020 - Carmen joins VILE faculty (Season 4 Episode 7)

Six months time jump, ACME has been assessing Carmen's crimes and is back to putting all their assets into taking her down.

VILE recognizes Carmen as their finest operative, and votes to have her join the Faculty.

??? 2020 - Carmen attempts to steal the Eye of Vishnu, memories restored (Season 4 Episode 8)

We don't know exactly when this caper happens. There's enough time for rumors about Carmen's plans to circulate, Gray to contact Chief, and Chief to pull strings to get the Eye of Vishnu back on display.

I would give this a few months preparation wise, but not an exponential amount of time.

2022 - Uptick in criminal activity due to prison breaks, Carmen's (presumably first) sighting (Season 4 Episode 8)

2 years after VILE began to crumble, they begin to show signs of activity once again following some prison breakouts. Julia, Devineaux, Zack, and Ivy (now apart of ACME) arrive at the scene of a supposed heist, only to find the culprit (Paperstar) already tied up with Carmen's silhouette on the rooftop.

Ending Ages for Characters with Confirmed Ages During the Show:

Carmen: 23 (20 during most of show)

Ivy: 22 (19 during most of show)

Zack: 21 (18 during most of show)

Player: 19 (16 during most of show)

Anyways that's it guys thank you for reading all my nonsense please again tell me if I missed anything 👍

[dailyadventureprompts]

Monsterhunt: Wreck, Wrack, & Ruin

Artsource

Adventure Hook: The party are hired to put a stop to the undead rising from the old cemetary, and to determine whether it is some forboding sign or a curse brought down by some graverobber, as the town authorities are split on the matter. While investigating they will discover signs of dark rituals taking place, though they will have to be very clever to realize that the infact not at all humanoid.

Background: While most crows are content with petty mischief (and three occasional murder), these three arcane avians have no respect for mortal or godly law, and spend their days sowing curses and petty blasphemies wherever their dark wings take them.

The three carry with them an unrotting eye, the last remnant of a witch by the name of Hemani Lokryn, who used the birds as familiars for years and nurtured them to sentiance with a diet of dead men's brains. When the magehunters finally caught up to Hemani, the three were unable to save her from her cell or execution, so she commanded them to gore out her eye and carry it with them that her spirit might escape her body's fate.

Further Adventures:

When challenged or interrupted the crows make to scatter , as any one of them that survives an encounter and makes it back to where they've hidden Hemani's eye they'll be able to resummon the other two. Generally they always keep one in reserve, but this limits the force of magic they're able to bring to bear in any confrontation. If the party is clever, they'll poof two of the familiars to smoke and feathers and then track the straggler back to their roost.

If they weren't discovered in their earlier capers, the trio may try to bait the party into exploring some obviously haunted dungeon in the hopes of having them dig up some important artifact necessary for their latest scheme. This "bait" might come in the form of one of the crows pretending to be some kind of omen, or a barely legible letter pleading for help delivered in the dead of night. They might even try a breadcrumb trail of golden coins if they get desperate.

A girl has disapeared from her home after a series of strange occurrences, leaving her parents in a state of absolute panic and in need of the adventurers' aid. Always a little odd and shunned by other children for her morbid fancies, Cordelia was overjoyed when a trio of spooky birds decended on her usual sulking spot and told her that she had a great destiny ahead of her. Her new friends weren't exactly lying: Cordelia has a spark of sorcery about her, being the distant scion of the now forgotten Lokryn line after the family moved and changed their name to avoid their then infamous reputation. This makes her the perfect vessel for Hemani's resurrection ritual, as she aims to possess her descendant's body in a twisted "inheritence" ritual. The party will need to act fast to find Cordelia's motivations and trail, the crows have been gaining her trust for weeks with games and magic lessons, and now they lead her to a place of power where they'll take her eye and place their mistress's in its stead.

The story will not end should the party be too late and find the witch ascendant or completely gone. Hemani or "Cordelia Lokryn" as she now calls herself seeks to reclaim the power and influence she once wielded as not all of it fit into the childish body she's stolen. Vaults must be plundered, old servants called up from their resting places, a lair established, all of which may provide the party opportunities to challenge her once again and save Cordelia from her awful "destiny".

All this mucking about with eyes and resurrection has given Hemani a connection to the god of whispered secrets, who now drives the witch to seek out his own long-hidden eye of power. Cordelia's soul barely survived the first grisly grafting, and may be forever lost should she suffer another.

[k20spock]

Gecko’s list of free video games you should play right now

Hi I’m gecko I like video games and I like not paying 60 dollars for them so here’s a list of some free games I’ve unearthed and liked. Enjoy

(most of these are small, more obscure games made by a few people or even just one person, so support the creators if you can!! Some of these do have a pay what you want model)

Hikeback (Itch.io) 

You see a hitchhiker flagging you down during a long, lonely drive through the countryside. No matter how you choose to handle the situation, you end up back on that road. And then again. And again. And again, until you find a way to escape a loop of violence and self-sabotage. Hikeback is a visual novel inspired by the fable of the frog and the scorpion, and it takes about an hour to reach the ending. It’s available on Windows, Mac, Linux, and browser, and there’s a detailed list of content warnings on the game’s itch.io page. One of my strongest recommendations, Hikeback is an incredible experience, and it was made in only ten days!!

Purrgatory (Itch.io) (Steam)

Find ways to pass the time in an inexplicably cat-themed but otherwise pretty dull afterlife, and befriend its other inhabitants. Purrgatory can hit hard when it wants to, but it’s mostly a relaxed point and click game that takes about a few hours if you want the true ending (which you do). And also I really don’t like recommending things going “it’s rep!!” and not elaborating on what the thing is actually about, but Purrgatory does have a mostly explicitly LGBT+ cast and Korean characters by a Korean artist. It’s been a few years since I played Purrgatory, but I remember it was an incredible experience, and since then, even more people can play it because it’s been fully translated into Spanish and Simplified Chinese! It’s available on Windows and browser.

How Fish is Made (Itch.io) (Steam)

How Fish is Made includes incredible retro-style graphics, a sardine flopping around in a machine with a choice to make, a singing, cane-wielding, tophat-wearing, tongue-eating parasitic isopod, and a free expansion/trailer for the studio’s next game that’s like if Katamari Damacy was evil and also had fish in it. That’s the best I can do for a summary. How Fish is Made is available on Windows and takes about 30-45 minutes, but will itch your brain for much longer.

Stop Burying Me Alive, Beautiful (Itch.io)

A visual novel in which you are stuck between trying to convince your girlfriend you are not dead and she should stop burying you alive, and playing rat-themed card games with a woman you find living underground. The game doesn’t always do a great job walking the line between comedy and horror, but there’s some strong writing depicting a failing relationship and very strong artwork that makes this an easy recommendation. Stop Burying Me Alive, Beautiful is on Windows, Mac, Linux, and browser, and takes about half an hour. 

Caper in the Castro (Internet Archive)

Ok this one is pretty different, but fuck it, it was originally released for free in 1989 (with a recommendation to make a donation to charity instead) and is still free so I’m including it. Not enough people are aware that you can play the first known video game by and about gay people on your computer right now for free and it has that classic adventure game bullshit sometimes but it’s extremely playable and also funny as shit. Like it’s not just cool history it’s actually fun (sorry Gayblade). You play as a lesbian private detective named Tracker McDyke looking for your missing drag queen friend and you can get most of the doors in the game open by shooting them. People have made full walkthroughs for this game and how to get it working if you have trouble so there’s no excuse. Play Caper in the Castro.

Under a Star Called Sun (Itch.io) (Liminal Magazine)

A browser game made in Bitsy that’s extremely simple and only a few minutes long, but that’s all it needs to create a succinct, gut-wrenching depiction of grief. 

Hotel Infinity (Itch.io)

If you need more short Bitsy games you can play in your browser that are about death, you’re out of luck after this because I’ve only got the two. Hotel Infinity is more lighthearted, tasking you with checking in on your ghostly hotel guests, and helping one check out. It’s simple, but sweet and affecting. 

Water Womb World (Itch.io)

Back to marine life-themed horror. Water Womb World is about a man’s obsessive search for the Garden of Eden leading him to the bottom of the ocean. There’s a few brief moments of annoyance in the gameplay, but the atmosphere and visuals are fantastic. Fantastic enough I bought the shirt, because I like cool shirts. It's available for Mac and Windows, and takes about 15 minutes. 

Hyperhell (Itch.io) (Steam)

A rogue-like bullet hell with a hyperpop soundtrack. It’s a mess, but in a good way. A run can (allegedly, I am not very good at bullet hells and I wasn’t able to get all the way to the end) be under ten minutes, but the game is very replayable with its different characters, weapons, bosses, and DDR and fishing minigames. You might have heard of this one already because maia has a cameo in it, but it really is a fun, if slightly painful for your eyes, time. It’s available on Windows.

Magicafe HD (Itch.io)

Under a technicality, I haven’t played this one yet, but that’s because I played the original text-based version of this game and I didn’t know the dev had converted it to a full visual novel until right now when I went to recommend the original. I’m certain this version is even better! It’s a cute, simple visual novel about a girl trying to get to her job at a magical girl themed cafe, while dealing with the struggles of secretly also being an actual magical girl. Available on Windows, and lasts about half an hour. The original is available on browser here if you’re interested. 

Dedz0ne (Itch.io)

Ok, wrapping up on a weird one since this isn’t really a universal recommendation. Dedz0ne is a Yume Nikki/Splatoon fangame inspired by Dedf1sh’s backstory and the atmosphere of Octo Expansion in general. It came out before Side Order so it’s not accurate to it, but it’s a really neat game with great visuals and atmosphere. It’s available on Windows

And that’s it for now. There will probably be a sequel someday because I am unable to stop digging through free games. Or maybe a collection of not free but extremely cheap games (like under five bucks) I like. Who knows! I hope you found something that catches your eye here!

[fieriframes]

[Yep, just an overnight. We'll rinse it off and then coat it with a nice marinade that is rosemary, sage, capers, little bit of parsley, juniper, thyme, a whole bunch of herbs and spices.]

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm Late But Who Cares?

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Jan 2025 Week 5

Ongoing Series - Thai

Your Sky (Sun iQIYI) ep 11 of 12 - Oh no my babies are in trouble! I actually don’t mind the coming out being part of the conflict, it’s rare to see these days, but it was more common in early BL. This show feels like such a throwback Thai BL anyway, that it’s sort of goes with the story. Of course it was conflict that was resolved almost immediately. But honestly I’m so charmed by the show I don’t mind any of this.

ThamePo (Fri YT) ep 8 of 12 - still enjoying but annoyed by Jun. I’m glad everybody’s feelings have been made clear, Iun is too much a little shit for the way he went about it. The hand holding was very cute tho. 

Truer words! When a character reveals the entire plot of a show.

The Boy Next World (Sun IQIYI) ep 4 of 10 - Phu’s friends are the best. I love them so much. Still cautiously enjoying this.

The Heart Killers (Weds Gaga) ep 10 of 12 - Why are Kant’s pants always too short in this show? Meanwhile, the plot progresses as expected. But it’s OK. I’m enjoying it enough. I like that Kant, who is slightly evil, is willing to go even more evil for the man he loves. It was a twist I was not expecting. I believe it less with Style. Oh my, have we turned into a caper all of a sudden? Huh. This was a good episode. But then I do like a caper.

I’m also gonna mention briefly that I see you Heart Killers for using old tropes in a new way. The bleacher shot (Lovesick callback), the empty pool. Very very clever.

Fourever You (Thurs YT) ep 17 end - Nice solid ending I remain more interested in the couples we never got but i hope we get a season 2. 

Conclusion

A standard university Thai BL centering around two couples (med student meets engineering youth) in two parts (chasing the forever dragon that is 2 Moons). This was watchable but not much more than that with nice optics. Best if you can get hold of the extended (sexy) version especially for the second couple. 8/10 

Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT) ep 14 of 24 - Wine is totally getting the "good one." Faifa (hands-down my favorite character in the series) is the master of the sarcastic ja particle. He’s very clever with it. Pay attention if particles in Thai interest you. I don’t understand why Yotha it’s so special that everybody’s willing to cater to his erratic whims.

(Am I the only one who thinks that Book and Santa should lead a BL together?)

Sangmin Dinneaw (Sun iQIYI) ep 5 of 10 - This is such an odd show. But it was a very nice kiss. And more.  And I love the boy admiring his marks after. Nice touch.

Flirt Milk (Sat YT) ep 2 or 10 - everyone behaves like a complete idiot and it’s driving me nuts.

Ossan‘s Love Thailand (Mon YouTube) ep 4 of 12 - I dislike most of the characters in this show, but I truly loathe the daughter character.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

When it Rains it Pours (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - I continue to enjoy this more every week, and I’m really looking forward to next week. (Shocker.)

Eternal Butler (Taiwan Fri Gaga) eps 8 of 12 - no ep this week, Happy New Year! 

Impression of Youth (Taiwan Weds Viki) eps 4 of 9 - It’s modestly enjoyable but of all the relationships I think I like the brothers the best. I mostly have a smile on my face when I watch it, but so far it’s eminently forgettable. To the point where I occasionally forget to watch it when it airs. That said it looks like next week we’re getting very Taiwanese. 

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 17 of ?? - sigh

It's airing but......

I Will Turn Back Time (China Gaga) 6 eps - It’s Chinese, no idea if it will end well or not. But it’s the stepbrothers trope. Still, I’m not gonna watch it until it’s done.

In Case You Missed it

Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Thai) - It's done. Spies reported in the following: Not recommend. "Lots of awkward silence and muddled story. Abrupt ending. Doesn't lean into either the romance or the prison aspect." So yeah, I'm leaving it a DNF.

End of year wraps are here!

2024 Trend Report

MY BEST & WORST BLs of 2024

Best Kisses (and sex scenes) of 2024

BL's 2024 Quirky Awards

2024 Awards - Quick Picks

Next Week Looks Like This:

*** Yeah we already in it and my calendar is a complete mess, so no visual for you. ***

On now: FC Soldout (Korea iQIYI) 8eps - sports BL, football player meets actor.

2/14 Exclusive Love (Taiwan Gaga) - Shy aspiring singer inherits funeral business.

2/27 Secret Relationships (Korea iQIYI) - Stars Wei's Kim Jun Seo. Adapted by Cradle Studio (Kakao). About clever and resourceful Daon who has worked hard to overcome being poor. His cheap ways annoy his coworker, Sunghyeon but after “an incident” with his parents, Daon grows closer to him. But Daon also has feelings for his former tutor. This has the signs of a classic Kdrama all over it: Office setting, love triangle, lead suffering for his self-actualization. I’m optimistic about a longer treatment.

2025 Line Up

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 1

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 2

20 BLs Announced for 2025 That I'm Really Excited About

GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Best line in BL history? Possibly

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[tonydaddingham]

Source

Transcript of main article under the cut:

THE RASCALLY DEMON Crowley (David Tennant) and the neurotic angel Aziraphale (Michael Sheen) put aside their differences to pull off one doozy of a Hail Mary and prevent an impending Apocalypse in Good Omens' first season. The task cemented the pair's unconventional friendship. So what are divine beings who have fallen out of grace with both Heaven and Hell to do for an encore?

The answer lies with archangel Gabriel (Jon Hamm), who shows up unannounced on the doorstep of Aziraphale's London bookshop. Suddenly, Aziraphale and Crowley are caught up in a caper of biblical proportions- but also a more intimate tale.

"It's a mystery" showrunner Neil Gaiman tells SFX. "It kicks off a story that doesn't have giant consequences for the universe, even if it does have consequences for Aziraphale and Crowley. We have a lot of the marvellous Jon Hamm, who is the angel Gabriel and turns up at the beginning stark naked, carrying a cardboard box with no memory of who he is. In the same way, it is about Aziraphale and Crowley having to get involved with humanity in a way that they haven't before.

"They get dragged in slightly against their will to try to sort out the love life of Aziraphale's tenant," he continues. "Her name is Maggie (Maggie Service) and she runs the

record shop next to the bookshop. You'll see the coffee shop over the road, which is Nina's (Nina Sosanya). The relationship between Maggie and Nina is one that Crowley and Aziraphale try to fix, and mess up, because they are not good at human relationships, even if they can do miracles."

Truth be told, Gaiman never originally intended this arc to serve as Good Omens' second instalment. The TV series was based on Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's 1990 novel. The two collaborators had partially hashed out the details for a sequel to the fantasy comedy, late one night in a hotel room. This, however, is not it. Gaiman instead plotted a new narrative that could provide the connective tissue between the first season and a theoretical season three, if it happens.

"Because the hypothetical season three exists, there is a story that is there, and I didn't feel that we could drive straight from season one into that," Gaiman explains. "I knew what the stakes were. I knew what the parameters were. I also know that I had David and Michael. I had the angels from plot number one. I had demons from plot number one. And with anybody that I wanted to bring back, but didn't have room for right now, I did not have to bring them back as themselves.

"I had absolutely nothing for Madame Tracy to do in this plot, but I would be damned if Miranda Richardson wasn't going to be in this. She is one of my favourite people in the world. She is hilarious and is so good. And I knew I was going to have a new demon replacing Crowley as Hell's representative in London/the UK. Miranda's demon Shax is the best demon you could want."

It's late February 2012 and SFX is in Edinburgh for a set visit. A soundstage in Pyramids Studies has been transformed into a street in Soho. The visible local stores include the aforementioned book, coffee and record shops, as well as a magic establishment. In the middle of them all stand Aziraphale and Crowley, the latter in close proximity to his classic Bentley. It's close to the end of the six-episode season, so exactly what the duo is discussing constitutes a spoiler. We can say, however, that Aziraphale has picked up the pace. Time is of the essence as Shax marshals her forces to descend on Aziraphale's store and retrieve Gabriel.

"This is really Shax's first time out on Earth," Gaiman explains. "She is working very diligently and very hard in Hell for a long time. Now she is on Earth, trying to figure it all out. She's just discovering what Crowley has known for 6,000 years, which is that if you're a demon and come up with a brilliant plan to screw up the lives of humanity, people will get there first and do worse than anything you could have imagined! She's coming to terms with that.

"She is having to deal with the first crisis on her watch, as well, which is the disappearance of the archangel Gabriel from Heaven. It would be fair to say that by the end of the story, she is leading as much as she can get from Hell's requisition department - a legion of Hell - in an attack on a Soho bookshop."

When audiences catch up with Aziraphale again, he's enjoying his time among humans. He owns most of the block in a Soho neighbourhood, and he's meddling in Nina's love life. Meanwhile, Crowley has been living in his car, with his plants sitting on the back seat. He's grumpy about his current status quo, but frequently hangs out at Aziraphale's. The duo began as antagonists, but their history and blooming relationship will be fleshed out in flashbacks.

"One of the enormously fun things I came up with in the idea of minisodes," Gaiman explains. They are 25-minute-long episodes within the episode. We have three of them over our six episodes. Each of them is like one of those chunks of episode three (in season one). Whereas the longest one of those was four or five minutes, if that, these are full stories.

"You get to have the story of (put-upon Biblical figure) Job and you learn Aziraphale and Crowley's part in the story. Then writer Cat Clarke takes us to Edinburgh in the 1820s for a tale of body-snatching and attempted murder that the boys get involved in," he adds.

"Finally, Jeremy Dyson and Andy Nyman reunite the League of Gentlemen in a Nazi-period story that takes place very shortly after the episode in the church. That one was the only one I said had to be there, because I fell in love with our Nazi spies in the church I kept thinking, "What would happen if they essentially came back as zombies with a mission from Hell to try and investigate whether or not Crowley and Aziraphale were actually fraternising?"

Gaiman admits that one of the greatest challenges has been filming Good Omens simultaneously with his upcoming show Anansi Bays. The two shoot within throwing distance of each other, but are both time-consuming endeavours.

"If I could go back in time, I would go back to 16 September 2020, when Douglas Mackinnon (co-producer) and I got the phone call from the Amazon bigwigs to say, "We have

good news for you and interesting news for you," Gaiman recalls. "'The good news is we are greenlighting both Good Omens and Anansi Boys. The interesting news is you are going to have to do them both at the same time.'

"I would go back to then and I would throw myself on the call and say, 'Neil, don't! This is unwise.' That we are doing them both together is great. The amount of sleep I am not getting is monumental and monstrous.

"It's a little bit like childbirth, in that I managed to forget all the things that drove me nuts about the first one. Having said that, I managed to fix all the things that really drove me nuts making season one which is great. We just have a whole new set of problems making season two."

[dee-morris]

Some Random Thoughts on the Nature of Free Will

Thinking about that conversation from the book that got put into The Resurrectionists. Aziraphale is explaining how he and Crowley are good and wicked, respectively, but they have no choice while Elspeth does. Bc humans can't be truly good unless they have the choice to be wicked.

(This is where I usually end up arguing with someone on Twitter lol bc they think Aziraphale is being Mean to Crowley by calling him wicked. It's just a brand name darling, not a judgment call. He literally said in the same breath that he's not TRULY wicked bc he wasn't given a choice.)

So I'm sitting here thinking about free will and the choices the celestials are given, which are not many. And I wonder if one of the reasons they were drawn to the Arrangement was to give them each the choices that humans were born with. One can't be truly good without the opportunity to do wrong, so perhaps being able to work both sides of the equation helped them develop into truly moral beings and not just extensions of their offices. We see in Uz how they're able to work together and bounce off each other to save Job's family, even though the Arrangement didn't properly exist yet.

I've also seen lots of takes and metas that indicate that people view Heaven and Hell as a class system: Heaven is the upper-class privileged majority, while Hell is oppressed, kicked out, downtrodden. I think people forget that the primary difference between the two is aesthetic. Hell has all the same powers as Heaven, and they both intend to burn humanity to the ground in order to prove their gang is best.

No, if we're going to talk about who's got privilege, it's definitely humanity over heaven or hell. We have free will and imagination, which are more miraculous than anything. Sure they've got all these powers and can work miracles and so on, but where's that gotten them? We can actually change things. All they can do is try and influence us to change things, and their success rate isn't high. Two of the most powerful beings in the universe couldn't convince an eleven year old boy to blow things up. That's. Pathetic, actually.

Which brings me back around to the ineffables. Because they actually DO have free will, but I don't think they're used to realizing that they do, which might be why they act a little bone headed sometimes. The show implies and the book comes right out and says that they picked it up from being around humans. And like I said earlier, I think the Arrangement played a big part. They were actually able to choose to do good or evil, a luxury that normally only humans can enjoy.

And the best part of this, for me anyway, is knowing that everything that they are to each other is a conscious choice. Aziraphale didn't want to be a fighter, so he gave his sword away and made the conscious choice to be soft and silly and get into scrapes. And Crowley chooses to come to his rescue because he likes it, not because he is obligated. It's a way for him to choose to do good without getting in trouble. They are each other's outlet to explore humanity in a way that would be impossible if they were on their own.

Aziraphale speaks French badly and flutters his eyelashes and plans elaborate Balls because he loves doing human things and he wants to do them with Crowley. Crowley drives a sleek classic sex machine with bullet hole stickers on the windows and goes on capers and performs daring moves because he loves doing things the human way and he wants to do them with Aziraphale. The way they interact and work together because they WANT to, and not because it's their Great Bloody Destiny or whatever, is so fucking beautiful to me.

[lgbtpopcult]

What cool WLW projects do we know are coming in 2024?

Drive-Away Dolls

Arguably the most important representation of the year comes from a movie directed by one of the Coen brothers. Ethan Coen directs this wacky comedy that is very much in style for him.

Synopsis:

This comedy caper follows Jamie, an uninhibited free spirit bemoaning yet another breakup with a girlfriend, and her demure friend Marian who desperately needs to loosen up. In search of a fresh start, the two embark on an impromptu road trip to Tallahassee, but things quickly go awry when they cross paths with a group of inept criminals along the way.

Lost Records: Bloom and Rage

A game had to be added to this list and here it is, the best one. From the creators who gave us Life is strange. Lost Records: Bloom and Rage tells the story of four friends who experience a transformative summer in 1995. After 27 years of no contact, Nora, Swann, Autumn, and Kat are reunited by fate and forced to confront the long-buried secret that made them agree to never speak again all those years ago. From the teaser alone it is obvious at least two of them dated.

Pluto

A Thai gl from GMMTV, known for its successful Thai dramas. The story is the telenovela cliche we've always wanted. Two girls in love. One gets in an accident and her twin takes her place to find out who was behind her accident, the other girl is blind. The twin has to fake being the real one so has to be in a relationship with the blind girl and of course falls in love with her. Match made in fanfic heaven.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

It was announced so long ago people are getting frustrated. However, with both a writer and a director now attached to the project, and the strikes over, we have every reason to believe we will finally get to see the hit novel, that centers the love story between two closeted Hollywood actresses, come to life. Whether you loved the novel or were indifferent and didn't see what the fuss was about, it is a very successful wlw romance and we want to see it on screen!

The Paying Guests

The director that brought us Carol adapting a book by the author of Fingersmith? Yes please!

Speaking to Indiewire, Haynes revealed he’s developing an adaptation of Sarah Waters’ 2014 novel The Paying Guests. “It’s a three-part limited series that would need to be a British production, but it’s a really great novel.” Set in post-WWI London, the drama is part lesbian love story and part murder mystery following a down-and-out widow and her daughter, the latter taking up a relationship with one of their lodgers. Waters also wrote Fingersmith, which was adapted into The Handmaiden by Park Chan-wook.

NCIS Hawaii season 3

One of our favorite pairings of last year, Kate and Lucy are the main couple of their show and they carry it well. They look good together, have progress and evolution in their relationship and have fun working together.

The Secret of Us

Thai channel CH3 is expected to hit us strong with this Thai gl. CH3 is big in Thailand so this one is a big deal. The story is the typical exes meet again trope and it's magnificent. It centers Doctor Fahlada, nicknamed Doctor Angel. She is trying to hide the pain after being abandoned by the woman she loved. But then...by chance that woman comes back into her life.

Whisper Me a Love Song

Our resident anime entry has to be Whisper me a love song. Based on a manga it is the story of Himari Kino. On the first day of entering high school, Himari Kino "falls" for her senior, Yori Asanagi, whom she watched singing with a band at the welcome party for new students. When Himari confesses her admiration to Yori, Yori misinterprets Himari's feelings as romantic love. However, before Yori realizes, she comes to fall for Himari anyway, and promises to win her affections for real.

Bad Sisters season 2

Bad Sisters is one of the best reviewed and hilarious shows on this list. Coming back for a season 2 was inevitable. Bibi, the lesbian sister, will keep entertaining us in 2024.

Station 19 season 7

One of the most enduring shows and wlw couples on TV are coming back for a season 7! That is a lot of seasons but Maya and Carina do still have that spark.

About Galaxy The Series

Part of the gl renaissance that is expected to go full force next year, this series is already hugely popular among Asian romance fans.

Synopsis:

‘About Galaxy’ is based on author Zezeho’s yuri of the same name, with a Thai title of “มูลค่าดาวล้านดวง”. The story revolves around Hong Yok, a designer who has a big scar on her face which led her to hide away from the public due to her inferiority complex. But something changed in her life when she met Note, a woman she was measuring clothes, and realized she is the same person who gave her that huge scar! However, despite the incident, she doesn’t outright despise her, and instead… feels safe. What will happen to the two women?

My Ex-Friend's Wedding

Kay Cannon ("Blockers") will direct from a script co-written by Taylor Jenkins Reid? Staring a group of friends trying to stop their friend from getting married? And one of them is queer? We're all in!

Arcane (Season 2)

It seems like forever since we first watched Arcane but we're definitely looking forward to season 2. Needs no introduction.

Dream the Series

We already have enough Asian dramas in this list but we couldn't leave out one of the most anticipated gl, Dream. The story is that of a woman that sees a girl in her dreams every night only to meet her in real life. While in real life they are friends in her dreams they do much more. She thinks her friend doesn't know about that what she doesn't know is that she also remembers everything they do in their dreams.

Harley Quinn the Animated Series season 5

Another season of our favorite criminal duo Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy? Yes please and thank you. These two, and this particular iteration of them, might be the best representation American television has ever given us.

Chaser Game W

Chaser Game W is the first gl produced by TV Tokyo so it has a historic significance for the advancement of representation for queer women in Japan. First episode airs January 8. Based on manga series "Chaser Game" written by Hiroshi Matsuyama & illustrated by Yukitaro Matsuyama

The story:

synopsis: Itsuki has been working in the "Dynamic Dream" game company for five years and is now appointed as the lead for a big Japanese-Chinese collaboration project, which she is fully motivated to work on. However, it turns out the Chinese company team is led by her ex, Fuyu, whom she one-sidedly broke up with back in university! After breaking up with Fuyu, Itsuki never dated anyone else and chose to focus on her work, all while not coming out to her family and coworkers... But when her ex-girlfriend suddenly appeared in front of her, her feelings immediately started to sway. Meanwhile, Fuyu always resented Itsuki for breaking up with her without saying why. She takes charge of the project and pushes impossible tasks onto Itsuki. While Fuyu plots her revenge, Itsuki is rekindling her unrequited love. What will the outcome be for these two opposites?

Vigil season 2

The first couple of episodes of Vigil season 2 will technically be shown in December 2023 (in the UK only) but we'll basically be able to watch it beginning 2024 and we're looking forward to it!

Several upcoming TV shows and movies have cast actors that make it obvious they'll have lesbian and bi characters but until we know whether the representation will be enough to be worth watching we're holding off on making that other, more elaborate, list.