#drink a shot everytime i say also

[jensthwa]

we can't be friends (CS x reader).

part of the love's an uncharted path universe ★.

SUMMARY:

San is your first love. He broke your heart and played with your feelings without even kissing you back when you two were in highschool. Now, many years later, you do your best to avoid crossing paths with him because there's just no way you could ever hate him, but there's also no way you two can be friends again. But his best friend is also one of your best friends, so there's only so much you can do to avoid San when he arranges a dinner you're forced to go to.

PAIRING: first love!choi san x afab reader.

GENRE: one shot (fluff, angst, smut)

WORD COUNT: 20k (yikes).

WARNINGS: SMUT ☽ (MINORS DNI) attempt !!! at comedy, unnecesary pinning, a looot of context, bad friends :(, some arguing, tension, drinking and drunk behavior, tears, making out, description of female anatomy, oral (f reciving), fingering, love making, pet names (babe, baby), flirty seonghwa, wooyoung being a little shit again but also a genius, gyuri almost commiting a crime.

NOTES: hi everyone! this is a lenghty one, i know, but trust me when I say the context is necessary to understand what reader goes through with san. also, some of this may or may not have happened to me (have fun figuring out which part) (it's quite obvious tbh). THIS IS PART OF THE SHOW AND TELL UNIVERSE BUT CAN BE READ AS A STAND ALONE, even though there's some references and characters that you can only know if you read s&t lol. this is 100% self indulgent, as all fics should be, and i think i've re-read it so many times that if you find a typo or something that just doesn't make sense, you can blame it on english not being my first language i guess lmao. i hope you enjoy it and if you do feel free to send/reblog/type in any feedback or thoughts! <3

POSTED: august 06 2024.

permanent taglist: @hotteokkay, @potatomountain, @fairylover68

masterlist.

You and Choi San go way back. 

Well, it's nine years way back? You were only fourteen when you first saw him. 

He moved back to your area of the city a year after you moved from an entirely different one. You thought you knew every school secret there ever was, provided by your new best friend, Gyuri, but she didn't tell you about him at all. 

She claimed that it was because he didn't cause any stir the years they studied together before and after spending a whole first period in your eighth grade classroom with him at the back of the class, silently taking notes, you couldn't phantom why.

He was great at every subject, seemed to have a lot of popular friends and was, overall, a pretty nice guy. He was also very cute, skinny but you could tell he was the kind of guy who played a sport outside of school hours and he had a cute pair of dimples that showed everytime you scanned the classroom just to lay eyes on him. 

Choi San was a perfect boy to crush on, even a perfect guy just to have as eye candy during recess. You felt really strongly about him, not really forming a full opinion although your gut told you right away you were right. There was something about him… but you only figured that something until later, next year, starting your ninth grade. 

Gyuri and you were avid readers. Precocious girls, with minds way above your age. All your teachers praised came laced with the same compliment so you both decided that was the truth. You rejoiced in it, thinking you shared things in common with the grown ups and decided that that was the key to feeling a little superior in comparison to the rest of your classmates, who neither of you liked very much. 

Until they all decided to start dating each other and you two realized you were nothing but two kids with great imaginations and a love for school, praise and fictional men that couldn't be translated to the real world without sounding delusional and weird. 

So you decided to do something about it. And so, on a random Tuesday recess, you two scanned the crowd trying to find two boys (or a boy and a girl, because you always knew you liked girls too) worthy of your affections. One for her, one for you. Bonus points if the two of them were also best friends, of course. 

Double dates were all the buzz at the time anyways. 

Besides, only then they could understand the bond you and Gyuri had. Sisterhood like no other, nevermind Gyuri actually had an older sister and a niece at the ripe age of fifteen. 

And so when your index finger scanned the crowd and eliminated at least three potential crushes before landing on Choi San, you felt like it was meant to be. 

You see, his best friend, Jung Wooyoung, was perfect for Gyuri to crush on. He was almost as tall as she was at the time and his easy, outgoing personality was compatible with her book crush at the time as well. 

He also flirted with her on several occasions before that. 

So it was meant to be. 

Choi San, on the other hand, had never even glanced in your direction before. 

Just like your book crush did before he fell in love with the main character. 

See? Meant. To. Be. 

It was decided then that, although Choi San was not going to be your first crush ever, he was going to be the guy that motivated you to be at school for the time being, because math gets really boring after trying and failing at least ten times. 

You thought nothing of it when it felt a little forced, when you couldn't blush at all at the sight of him and you gathered that it didn't need to happen like in the books you read. You simply needed to say his name when someone asked you if you had a crush on anyone and that was enough to be in symphony with the rest of your classmates. 

Your longing glances were caught once or twice by him and you brushed the weird flip your stomach did everytime he looked away, blushing a little. You never really cared when it happened, really, knowing his crowd and your crowd (Gyuri and you) would never even cross paths in the first place. 

You two kept to yourselves and your little book unofficial book club, sitting on the floor at lunch time and cursing everyone who dared to call you weird for it. San and Wooyoung had a crowd of people at the loudest table laughing with them over stupid teen jokes and, uh, sports? You didn't even know. 

And then the unimaginable happened. 

Jung Wooyoung sat down, criss cross applesauce and everything, in front of you on a random Monday afternoon while you and Gyuri discussed the english assignment due next period. 

Gyuri was not too excited about that. 

Turns out, the only one excited to have a crush at school was you. She was very much still in the Lonely Hearts Club phase while you skipped all the way to your The Notebook phase and she was, in her own words, too afraid to admit it when you came up with your crush plan. 

You forgave her, of course, and decided to wait for her as long as needed because you were certainly not about to be an individual and have a crush on your own. 

And by the time Wooyoung smiled at you both and introduced himself to you, like you weren't in the same class for a year already, you thought your pretend crush on his best friend evaporated and joined the void superficial and fleeting interests you had. 

But then Choi San sat beside him, his knee brushing against yours in the process, and you knew you would have to issue a formal apology to your best and only friend for leaving her behind on this little thing. 

Because, oh boy, were you crushing on Choi San. 

You felt the blush rush to your cheeks and then fell silent while your friend and his friend discussed Fifty Shades of Grey for some reason you never cared enough to discover and you knew you were done for.

It was the first time seeing his dimples in full action, so close to you, so you completely stopped functioning all together. Amazing. 

When you decided to have a crush, you never took into account that you were, actually, quite shy. And he really wasn't, but you noticed that he knew when to talk and what to say and with your friend being a lot more outgoing that you were it gave you the comfort that she would speak for the both of you while you admired from the sidelines as your little duo became a group of friends you still miss deeply to this day. 

He was funny and you laughed at your jokes even though you pretended to be tired and completely worn out by the school day, resting your head on Gyuri’s shoulder and stealing glances at the boy while she kept arguing with his best friend. 

Wooyoung was popular and liked enough to have a few people sit with you later that week, people who never even knew you existed before that. They were good friends with San as well, so you tried your best to keep up with everyone until she sat down next to you one day. 

Arin was not really a bad person. She just was a bit conceited, calling herself princess type of conceited and you never really related to her even if she was nice to you to your face. She was absolutely gorgeous and, you found out with Wooyoung’s arm around your shoulder and a whisper to your ear, she had been San’s crush since they were both in elementary school. 

That would explain the sudden tension at the table when she sat down next to you, said hello to everyone, offered you a sweet she just bought from the cafeteria, and stared at San for the remainder of lunch time. 

You also noticed Wooyoung glaring at her a little and he later explained to you that he didn't really like her all that much. She loved attention and San gave her attention, so she would intentionally flirt with him to get her ego stroked in return. 

It didn't really matter how he felt about the girl, though, he didn't have to like her just because his best friend did. And when you caught her batting her eyelashes at San, you knew you didn't even stand a chance.

You tried to hide the disappointed look on your face but both Gyuri and Wooyoung looked at you while the two of them flirted endlessly for the remainder of lunch time and you figured you were doing a pretty shitty job at it. He didn't glance at you once either way, so it didn't really matter. 

Arin did but she just complimented your eyes and then started a conversation with someone across the table, her annoying sweet and fake voice making your right ear ring in disapproval. 

Either way, you ended up becoming her friend. Gyuri was not very fond of her and neither were you, but you all went to the bathroom together, did your makeup together, did school projects together and then sat everyday at lunch together with the rest of the guys who were, in one way or another, trying to get her to like them. 

Because, once again, she was a sight for sore eyes. 

It wasn't until later, in the middle of the year, that one of them did. Not Choi San, but Choi Yeonjun. 

You remember the day you found out they were together and the gut wrenching concern you felt when you found out that San was not at school that day. 

It was after summer break, you remember Wooyoung telling you that San and his family took a few more days of vacation and if you couldn't believe your eyes when you saw the new couple sharing a sweet kiss at the designated lunch table, you could only imagine how San felt the next day when he saw the same image right in front of him. 

Yeonjun was his friend, right? He knew about his crush and decided to get together with her anyways. Surely, San was devastated. 

But he wasn't. He just cheered them on and then laughed along when Yeonjun shoved his arm playfully after the hollering. 

But you saw through it. 

Your crush on San made you observant. Made you believe you knew him better than everyone else and so, after lunch, you took out your phone and pulled up the notes app. Writing a simple “are you okay?” in it and passing it to him the next second, you were surprised with yourself before you saw him frown a bit. And then he understood what you meant. 

Nodding, he passed you the phone back, before giving you a reassuring smile that you treasured in your heart and saw in your dreams. 

You didn't believe him, though, but stayed close enough to everything related to the situation to hold Arin in your arms when Yeonjun inevitably broke her heart. 

Starting your tenth year, he moved back to his city and decided to play the I thought we weren't even that serious card on her. Which was nasty, considering love it's very, very serious for a sixteen year old girl. 

By this point, you were all a little family and hanging out after school and on the weekends was not unusual, so it didn't surprise you when Arin invited you, and only you, to her house after choir practice on a Thursday. 

She lent you her older sister’s clothes to wear (because her's would never fit you. Her words, not yours) and took you to a walk in the park just to break your heart for the first time ever. 

“You know… I thought love was something I couldn't find in highschool anymore. But San it's really making an effort, you know? He's been there for me ever since Yeonjun left and… Well, I think he's going to ask me to be his girlfriend tomorrow.” 

Grasping the park bench she forced you to sit at, you only nodded and let out a shuddering breath that gave away what she was trying to figure out since earlier that day. 

“I'll say yes but only if you say it's okay to do so.” 

Arin was not really your friend, the same way Yeonjun was not really San’s friend. 

Because there's no way you would ever be okay with it. 

And yet, you tried your best to give her a smile and pretend the sound of your heart breaking didn't bring tears to your eyes “Of course it's okay. Why wouldn't it be?” 

A week later, they were officially dating. The rumors spread around like a wildfire and it took out of you with everyone calling San a nasty rebound and you doing your best to prioritize the ghost of the friendship you had with him. That whole fiasco lasted a few months. 

Months in which your friendship with everyone just grew stronger. Gyuri was still your best friend, Wooyoung was crushing on her hard and everyone knew, Arin and San were a steady couple, a new girl joined your class that year, named Yeri, and the principal assigned her to you because she thought you two would get along really well. 

“I like girls,” was like, the third thing she ever told you while you were showing her the school “I'm just telling you now because I don't plan on hiding it and you are wearing a pride pin.” 

“Oh, that's cool. I like girls too,” you smiled, looking at your pride pin “I didn't hide it either and no one gave me shit about it, so, don't worry.” 

Yeri also liked the mainstream music that you liked and soon she became a new addition to your group. And with Arin spending all of her free time with San, you, Gyuri and Yeri only grew closer and closer. You didn't have Arin’s voice in your ear telling you the million reasons she found Yeri uncool, but you saw it in her face every time the table laughed at one of Yeri’s jokes. 

And so, it went on for a while: 

Your mom driving all of you around in her car to the beach, to dinner, to the movies and letting you have mixed sleepovers at your house (meaning you, Arin, Gyuri, Wooyoung, Yeri and San) was fun and all, but it was not enough to distract yourself entirely. Everytime you glanced at the couple, that sinking feeling in your chest would appear and sulk your whole mood for, at least, fifteen minutes.  

Fifteen minutes of pretending you were okay with them before forgetting completely for an hour or so and then the cycle would repeat until you were alone staring at the ceiling and doing your best to not cry about it.

All it took was your first kiss being Yeri of all people for you to decide that it was time to retire your crush for Choi San once and for all. 

And for a while, it all went according to plan. You decided to tell Gyuri that it was okay because he was your friend first and the guy that you liked second and that you were not fourteen and desperate for love anymore, that it was time to go on with your life as if nothing really happened in the first place. 

You were hooking up with Yeri anyways, so it seemed like you were doing just fine. 

You grew closer to San as well and even though he mostly talked to you about Arin and whatever tantrum she was throwing at the time, you really started to feel some sense of normalcy within you when it came to just speaking to him. 

You no longer blushed when he made you laugh, you no longer looked at him with the longing of a past life lover and you were really happy for him because, at the end of the day, he was really happy with his relationship. 

Until winter break came around and Arin decided to give San his first heartbreak ever. 

She decided to call for a break in their relationship because she was, in his words, too overwhelmed with the amount of love and attention she was getting from him. 

Which was completely fucking insane considering the fact she forced him to save her contact as Princess Arin and all. 

So naturally, you sided with him. And she didn't take it to heart because everyone knew you liked San anyways. 

She told you the news herself through Facebook after asking you to explain to her the English assignment due next day and then she decided to tell you something you'll never understand because you no longer are on speaking terms with her: 

Princess Arin: u know i broke up with him because of u right? :) 

Princess Arin: one day I'll tell u all abt it. 

She never told you anything about it. And by then, you were starting your last year and San was your best friend who hung out with you everyday after school, calling you late at night and helping you with assignments through Skype. So you didn't really care. 

And as the day passed, you started understanding the connection they talked about in books and movies. You thought you did before, Gyuri being your eternal person in this world, but it felt so different with San. 

Different and good. Different and achy enough for you to want to keep it in your life. 

Your dynamic was friendly, sure, but it was alright. It consisted of banter and daring stares as well as laughter and soft moments you treasured till this day. 

“It's way too early to be this annoying, Choi San.” 

“Oh, you think this is me being annoying?”

You both got an hour of detention for disturbing the class that day. 

You loved it. 

But then, after almost a month of picking up the broken pieces of his heart one by one, and your mother giving him a self-help book to make him regain the confidence he lost during the breakup process, you realized that you were in love with him and there was nothing you could do about that. 

You noticed one friday afternoon, when he offered to pay for your and your mom's ice cream at the drive through, when he scrambled to get all the change he had on him to leave a tip for the person who handed you guys the sweet treat, that there was no way you didn't love him. 

And it was confusing as fuck when everyone else started to tell you he had feelings for you as well. 

“Think about it. You text each other good morning everyday” Yeri listed with her finger and you nodded “Then, you go to school, sit together and spend the rest of the day together” another nod “Then after school you either go get ice cream together or hang out for a bit with your mom while she drives him home. And after that, you get on Skype for the reminder of the afternoon and then he calls you on your house phone and you two spend the rest of the night talking before falling asleep on the line together,” she looked at you like you were insane for even denying the accusations made against San, but she continued anyway “And then it's rinse and repeat and it has been that way since… What? Three months ago?” 

You nodded again, defeated. 

“Girl, he likes you.” she sighed, annoyed and a little tired, before sitting on your lap and kissing your lips affectionately “And you're here making out with me instead of him. You really are a lost cause.”

That didn't stop you from hooking up with her until she found a girl who's heart was not reserved for someone else, though. Said girl went to a different school and was a year younger than all of you, but she looked very happy and stopped secretly kissing you in the school bathroom like a week after they met. 

And when she finally told everyone, you were really happy for her, but San not so much. 

It was the night you thought everything was about to change. The night you thought he was about to kiss you or you were about to kiss him, whatever happened first. 

Laying in your bed, facing each other in the dim light, he thought it was the biggest form of betrayal and pouted the whole time he explained to you why. 

He thought you liked her and you realized he didn't really pay attention to you after all. Not the way you did with him. 

Bless his heart. 

You didn't kiss him that night because he wouldn't shut up about you and Yeri. 

“I mean, why couldn't it be you? She clearly liked you if you two were hooking up for over a year” and when his hand came to rest on your back, under your shirt, you breath hitched enough for him to notice it but not enough for him to just don't do anything about it except trace the curve of your silhouette with the pad of his thumb “I don't understand why anyone would pass the opportunity to be with you.” 

Huh. Maybe he did have feelings for you. 

No. He's just being a great best friend. Don't take that for granted. 

But it was impossible for you not to take Yeri’s words seriously as time went on. 

You didn't want to think he was giving you mixed signals, but yet again there was that one time when you reached behind your passenger seat in your mothers car to pinch his leg playfully after he pulled on your hair a little bit from behind, only to end up holding his hand the rest of the car trip to his house. 

His fingers slowly caressing the back of your hand were just too much for you not to get everything mixed up. 

Or that other time when your school held a Woman's Day event, and your class president decided that all the boys in the class were going to give roses to the girls.

When it was your turn to get a rose, you knew no one would give you one. But Yeri stood in line and collected a rose from the bin before the class president had the opportunity to say anything else. 

“I'll take that, thank you very much.” She turned to you, smiling. San blocked her way to you a second after. 

“And just what do you think you're doing?” 

“Giving my best girl a rose, of course.” She peeked around him, giving you a wink that you could only roll your eyes to. 

San turned to you, the fondness in his eyes making you question the decision of not pretending to be sick that day. It was too much for you to handle. 

“To the back of the line, then. I already called dibs on her,” he turned to your friend, snatching the rose from her hand in one swift move “I'll take that, thank you very much.” 

He had no idea what that meant to you back then. It was true that, at school, he behaved a little differently than when you two were alone. 

He was athletic, so he had some friends that you were sure used to ask him what the fuck was he doing wasting his time with a girl like you instead of getting a new girlfriend. 

He had a family that didn't approve of yours, too. You felt it the first time you met his mom and, even though she was nice to you and your mom, you could feel the judgemental stare she gave both of you when your mom told her she was a single parent. 

San told you that it didn't really matter, that his mom didn't have to like you because you weren't her friend, you were his. 

He played with your feelings a little too well. Wanting him, adoring him and letting yourself be consumed by the thought of him loving you back was enough to keep it going. To ignore the fluttering way your heart kept beating whenever he talked to you which was all the time. 

You assumed the way he behaved with you in private was the real him. The one who didn't care about appearances or his family approval. 

The one who cared about you. 

It was dizzying and fantastic and you thought he just might've been the love of your life. 

But then he would tell you how much it hurted when he saw Arin at school and how much he missed her, the intimacy they shared before, and reality would come crashing down and setting your delusions on fire again. 

He had sex with Arin. You would never stand a chance. 

Or so you thought he did. Except when you overheard Arin speaking to her friends and that was the first time you ever got mad at Choi San.

“And, you know, me and San were never intimate like that so I wouldn't know but I think boys have no idea how to please a woman if they tried to.” 

What? 

Oh. So he lied to you. 

And you were so upset by the thought of him making up stories of their intimate time together that it didn't even cross your mind that Arin might've been lying to save face. 

So when he came back from the bathroom and sat at his usual desk in front of you, you didn't even think about his feelings when you decided to treat him like shit for lying about something so important like sex to your face. 

“Leave me alone, San! I don't want to fucking talk to you right now!” 

The hurt expression he gave you after that is one you would never be able to forget. 

But you grew to be stubborn and a little overprotective of your own feelings, so you thought him playing the part of your best friend all these months and sweet talking to you was just another one of his lies. 

“You guys not being friends right now doesn't make any fucking sense, sweetheart.” Wooyoung's tone is careful and laced with affection, but you knew he was playing the devil's advocate on behalf of San. With his arm around Gyuri’s shoulder (by that point, they were a thing for over two months) you could swear you saw him smirk when the nickname brought a scowl to your face. 

He might've been worried, but he was also a little shit. 

“You really are going to let Arin ruin what you two have?” Your best friend was, of course, on your side. But she was your best friend for a reason and her love included pointing out when you were behaving like an infant at the age of seventeen and a half. 

“You two are practically dating and you're going to let the evil ex-girlfriend get in the way? Over something you weren't even supposed to hear in the first place? Come on.” 

Again, Wooyoung was a little shit. And you were so upset about everything that you shyness couldn't even help the fury behind your reply: 

“Stop saying that! We are not practically dating, he's in love with Arin and I'm not sure I even like him like that anymore!” Getting tired of everyone and their mother (your mother) feeding your delusions, you came to the conclusion that putting a stop to your friendship with Choi San was for the best. 

And, in doing so, you ended up breaking your own heart for the second time in your life. 

But he didn't put up an easy fight at all. You remember the feeling of pure joy when he grabbed your hand on the way to the cafeteria one day, pulling you so hard you almost ended up sitting in his lap, and the way his pleading eyes begged you to listen to him one last time. 

“Us not being friends doesn't feel right, Y/N…” he said and the word he used to categorize what both of you had hurted you, but you pushed the feeling away “Please, let's not fight anymore. I don't even know what happened, but I forgive you for yelling at me and I hope you forgive me for whatever it is you think I did.” 

Of course, you forgave him the next second without thinking too much about it. And for a while, everything went back to normal. You Skyped as usual and occasionally you let your other friends join the call even though it didn't really feel like it used to before. 

The next thing you knew, your feelings were in full bloom again and when you realized it, it was too late. 

Because by then, you had already let your childhood friend, Sunhee, join a few Skype calls and by the fourth one she invited her friend, Minseo, to them as well. 

Terrible, terrible mistake. Because even through the screen, you could see that Minseo looked a lot like Arin with the added bonus that she was down to earth and cool and liked the same things San liked.

You liked the same things San liked as well, but it never seemed to matter. 

Because not even two months after you decided to stop talking to San over a lie you weren't supposed to find out in the first place and then became friends one more time, he gets together with Minseo and you're sick to your stomach all over again. 

You hated her. Not because she was, suddenly, his girlfriend (not girlfriend girlfriend, but in a friends with benefits arrangement you never even knew why he agreed on in the first place) but because suddlenly she was so fucking obnoxious and didn't seem to like you either. 

Was it not painfully obvious San didn't have feelings for you? Why was she mad at you then? You literally brought them together! 

And all you got in return was her telling him she didn't feel comfortable with him having a girl best friend. That ungrateful bitch. 

He stopped calling. He stopped texting, he stopped carpooling with you and your mom after school and he stopped caring whether your math assignment was done or not. 

He stared pulling away more and more and it didn't matter how hard you tried to get him to talk to you, it seemed like he never really fucking cared about you in the first place. 

And by may that year, you didn't speak to San anymore. Granted, the only person he did speak to was Wooyoung, but even their friendship was falling apart. 

For the first time ever, San broke your heart firsthand. And it felt really, really fucking bad. 

You cried to your mom about it, she reminded you that you were nothing but a great friend to him and that, if he didn't take the time to appreciate that, that was his loss not yours. 

And she started hating him from that moment on. But you couldn't hate San, not even a little bit. 

Why would you hate him for not liking you back? For not loving you the way you loved hi— 

Your laptop closes down right in front of you and when you try to look up to find out who's responsible for interrupting your writing time, you get interrupted again. 

“Ouch! What the fuck, Gyuri?” the slap to the back of your head is quick and fill with rage. 

“What the fuck are you even writing. I can read from here, you know?” 

“I'm just laying my feelings down and— Ouch! Stop that!” You try to hit her back but she turns away quickly when your hands almost knock her coffee mug out of hers. 

“You can't possibly still have love for San, Y/N. It's been years.”

It's been four and a half, to be precise. But who's counting, right? 

“And why are you writing it in third person? You don't usually do that.” 

“I don't really know, Gyuri!” 

“I’m telling you, this celebratory dinner bullshit it's affecting you way more than it should,” she sighs, plopping down on the couch of your shared living room, and you leave your seat at the table to join her “He might not even show up. He has that thing with Kyungmi.” 

Kyungmi. 

You couldn't get to that part on your open document, but San left Minseo when he met Kyungmi at one of the frat parties they love to attend. Wooyoung told you that he said that it was love at first sight and you even met her briefly when you picked Gyuri up from the apartment he and San got when they started college together. 

She’s gorgeous and doesn't look like Arin or Minseo at all. It’s a different type of gorgeous. She's a year older than San and went to the same school as them and Gyuri. 

You think you might even like her better than him. 

You tried to be happy for San when you found out, but you two barely even speak a word to each other and you convinced yourself a while ago that you couldn't care less if he sees right through you and your fake smiles. 

You gathered, after everything happened, that San knew you liked him and took advantage of that. Unintentionally, but he did anyway. 

You sigh, resting your head on your best friend's shoulder. “It’s his best friend's celebratory dinner, though, he needs to be there.” 

Two seconds pass and then you both say it at the same time: “He’s in love.” 

And when San is in love, he has a one track mind with the name of his lover as the goal. 

You nod, but you can't help but to be insistent “It's Wooyoung's celebratory dinner, he needs to show up, right?” 

“I might not even show up, he's a pain in the ass.” She replies but you can tell her annoyance is not genuine and it makes you smile. 

Gyuri and Wooyoung broke up towards the end of your first year of college but you all stayed close friends. A one year relationship was not enough to fuck up the friendship they had and they decided to stay civil until, eventually, they became close friends again. 

To this day, you wonder why you and San couldn't rekindle your friendship when it became clear to you that you missed your friend and not the guy that you liked. 

Because San was always your friend first and your first love second. 

But it doesn't really matter anymore, because Gyuri is forcing you to shower and reminding you that you two need to keep Wooyoung on his best behavior tonight. 

“That girl he used to like before me is going, he said. I looked her up, she's single and he needs to get together with her because I can't take him whining about it anymore.” 

They keep things with each other way too civil, you think. 

“I'm telling you, if we don't show up he's going to do that thing where he gets drunk and makes a fool of himself. I can't have that, I'm on a mission.” 

“A mission to get your ex laid?” You ask, shampooing your hair. 

“A mission to get him a girlfriend so he can stop crying to me about feeling lonely.” 

“Maybe he wants you guys to—” The shower curtain opens and you see your best friend’s scowl before covering yourself up with your hands. 

“Gyuri!”

“Don't you dare say what you were about to say or I'm divorcing you.” 

You chuckle “Sure you are.”

You're left alone again with the water stream and she goes back to do her makeup “I told you back in ninth grade that we weren't a great fit and I was right. We can't get back together,” she sighs “It'll ruin everything.” 

“I doubt it will but you guys have been friends longer than you were boyfriend and girlfriend, so I'll just have to deal with my parents being divorced and civil.” 

“God, don't ever refer to us like that again— Oh! Speaking of parents,” you see her beam at her phone when you move the shower curtain to search for your towel and then she shows it to you “Mingi and Love just celebrated their one year anniversary!” 

Love being Mingi’s best friend. Gyuri talks to you about her college friend group all the time. The drama fuels your dinner conversations, you even follow a few of them on social media. 

“What does that have to do with parents?”

“They're the mom and dad of the group.” 

San is in that friend group, you can see him in the back of the picture and you recognize his apartment layout too. He's not the main focus of it but he's all you can see until you notice the couple sitting near him on the couch. 

The picture shows both of them, her in his lap and Mingi looking at her with stars in his eyes. 

Good for them. 

“Is that the girl he was friends with forever before they finally realized that they were in love?” 

“Yeah,” she sighs in contempt, looking down at the picture again “I was there the day it happened. I mean, not physically with them, but they left Yunho's party together and I told Wooyoung that it was finally about to happen!”

Gyuri is not a romantic person at all. Her excitement shows you that she really loves them and so you soften at the news that would usually give you and your dry love life a headache “It was the day before you called me to get you out of that awful date.” 

Ah, that also happened back then. You shudder at the memory.

“Tell them I say congrats, babe.” 

“I'm bringing you as my plus one.” 

You laugh, confused “To where?” 

“Their wedding, duh.” 

“They practically just got together,” you remind her, a year is not enough time to propose “And I don't really know them, Gyuri!” 

“They love you,” she assures you as you step out of the shower “I have been speaking about your antisocial ass for years. They can't wait to meet you.” 

“So you've been shit talking behind my back for years? Is that what I'm hearing?” 

She laughs “No, babe, that's Wooyoung's job.” 

Clearing your throat and looking at your friend through the mirror, you try to be as nonchalant as you can when you ask: “Has he… Did he tell you if…” 

“No, Y/N, I have no clue if San is going or not and Wooyoung is actually mad at him at the moment.” 

“Why?” 

She looks at you, sighing “He's been lacking as a friend lately.” 

“Hm.” 

“I hope you're not planning on swooning if you see him. Fuck him, Y/N.” 

“I know…” 

“And by fuck him I mean he doesn't deserve you or your forgiveness.” 

“He didn't do anything to me, Gyuri,” you remind her, shrugging “Not reciprocating my feelings is not a crime so I don't have to forgive him for anything.” 

You can practically feel her starting the San hate train engine, so you step out of the bathroom but her voice follows you. 

“And what about that time he ditched you for Minseo when you asked him to go with you to that medical appointment, huh?” 

“Cut it out, Gyuri…” 

But her head peaks around the corner, into the hall where you're rushing towards your room “Or that time when—” 

“Can't hear you!” Turning to look at her, she gives you an affectionate middle finger and heads back to the bathroom.

Closing the door, you lean into the thin wood and sigh, getting San’s face out of your mind so you can focus on getting ready and actually show up for Wooyoung and Wooyoung only. 

He just got a permanent position after completing his internship at a company that's your company's rival. He's going to crush you and steal clients from you but you are genuinely so happy for him. 

You should've guessed he enjoyed books as much as you did back in highschool. The debates he used to have with Gyuri were not all about flirting with her but also because he has a passion for books. 

And now he's going to work in the same field as you.

You're so proud of your friend. 

As you get ready, you remember the excitement cruising through your body when your boss trusted you enough to give you the first manuscript of a new client so you could edit it. You're sure Wooyoung is going to do better than you, taking into account that he actually went to college for this. 

You didn't. 

You met your boss at the part-time job you got in senior year, when you were trying to distract yourself from all the pain and the horrors of becoming a grown up. She was chatty, got a little too drunk on soju and told you she was starting her own book publishing company. 

When she returned months later after remembering that you told her you loved books and would love to work for as a publisher one day, she offered you a job in her company right after graduating highschool. 

You took it because you didn't think an opportunity like this would show up ever again. 

She was truly a blessing, the kind of person you never really believed in until she taught you all you needed to know about publishing and editing and encouraged you to take online classes during the nights so you could get, at least, a certification on what you do. 

You're proud of yourself too. The opportunity found you in a specific moment of your life where both your heart and your self esteem were destroyed and now you're not the person you used to be. 

Maybe that's why the possibility of facing San makes you so nervous. Collective memories are dangerous because the details never match the ones on the other person's head. 

You know who you were back then but… Are you the same person in San’s head? 

You don't even want to find out. 

Scanning your outfit in the mirror for the last time, you take the shoes you're wearing tonight out of your closet and walk over to the living room. 

Only to find Gyuri laying on the carpet under the coffee table, half dressed and on her phone. 

“You're going to mess up your hair.” 

“I don't care, I'm not going.” 

Sighing, you seat down on the couch and staring at the wood of the table covering her face. 

“What happened now?” 

“The bitch canceled!” 

“Wooyoung?” 

Poking her head out, she frowns at you “No, his first love.” 

“You were his first love.” 

“You know what I'm talking about, Y/N!” 

Laughing at her, you offer her your hand “Get dressed. Who cares if she's not going? He's not going to sulk because he's going to have you and his best friends there.” 

She whines like a child when you pull her up from the floor “I had a plan!” 

“Then make a new one, babe. We're going to be late.” 

She starts to whine again but then stops mid-groan to give you a once over. You shift uncomfortably on your feet, suddenly self-conscious about your appearance for the first time in years. 

“You look really hot…” she tells you and you fake gag at her words “Really pretty. Like a fairy and a smoke show at the same time.” 

You can't possibly look like that when you have such a simple outfit on, floor length high waist black pants and a flowy sleeve top that ties in the middle. It's barely formal but now you're thinking too hard about it. 

Blushing, you wave your hand to dismiss her compliment “Oh, my god. Go and change!” 

She rushes to her room on the opposite end of the hall and you finally breathe, looking down at your choice of fit and wondering if it's too much. 

Gyuri would've told you if that's the case, but either way it haunts your mind in the car on the way there, leg bouncing up and down under your best friend's judging gaze that only softens when you pout at her. 

“They are going to love you, babe. I'm so serious, they've been waiting years to meet you.” 

You nod because, yes, you're concerned that her friend group is not all as welcoming as she paints them to be. 

And you wish your doubts would go away but you're really, really not good at making friends. You're cautious, extremely closed off to new people and not as good with conversation no matter how much confidence you gained over the past years. 

When you walk to the loudest table at the laid back restaurant their friend Seonghwa made the reservation at, you think you won't be able to fit in with everyone else. You feel like an intruder, like Gyuri is supposed to enjoy this part of her life without you here. 

That's why you rejected every invitation they ever made. 

You celebrate birthdays with her, with Woo as well, but it's all very intimate and separate from their social circle, the one that includes the man you haven't fully faced in years. 

But you can't exactly back out now, not when one of them turns to you and seems to light up when they see you. 

“Oh? Is this her?” you recognize Hongjoong from pictures, he's the only one facing you when you approach the table, lowkey hiding behind Gyuri like a child. 

“Who?” 

“Huh?”

San is nowhere to be seen. Thank god. 

Slowly, everyone turns around and you see their faces light up with both delight and surprise. Your heart is pounding, you feel it in your throat, in your eyes, in the heat that colors your cheeks. 

But Gyuri just steps aside and presents you with a smile “This is her!” 

“Oh, Y/N!” Wooyoung gets up, rushing towards you and crashing into your frame with a crushing hug “I'm so glad you're here,” he murmurs into your hair and then turns to his friends, quiet them down “Everyone, this is Y/N, one of my best friends in the entire world.” 

He's such a dramatic human being.

You love him so much. 

Raising your hand, you shyly wave at them “Hi.” 

The entire table erupts with joy. Some of them greet you, some of them are saying that they are happy to be finally meeting you and Wooyoung grabs your arm and plops you down into the seat next to Gyuri, at the edge of the table. 

Laughing, you apologize for not meeting them sooner and then you feel a pair of hands on your shoulders. 

Panic raising, you quickly turn around to see who it is before releasing a shuddering, but calmer, breath. 

“She's a very busy woman, guys. She works for the competition, my competition,” everyone gasps at that but Wooyoung is smiling at you “and she's very good at what she does. Which means she's busy, get off her case,” he puts a glass and a can of beer in front of you “Drink, babe.” 

“Thanks, babe.” You whisper back and he leans in to peck your head before going away. 

Gyuri groans “Stop stealing that from us! It's our thing, Y/N, don't indulge him.” 

“It's his celebratory dinner…” you argue with a laugh that Hongjoong and Mingi follow. 

“Yeah! Can you get off my case tonight, Gyuri?” 

She huffs, wrapping her arms around you “I hate you all.” 

“No you don't!” 

The table laughs and everyone returns to their individual conversations when Woo sits down on his spot. 

There's a few seats left, one besides Mingi and one right in front of you but you don't think too much about it because soon Gyuri gets up to ask Yeosang something and Seonghwa occupies her seat right beside you. 

You think he can sense that you're more shy than you let on, because he doesn't include you in whatever he and Yunho were talking about and waits until he stops talking to him to turn to you. 

“So, you work for a publishing company?” 

The question caughts you off guard and you swallow the beer quickly before nodding “Y-yeah, I… Yeah.” 

He chuckles “You're nervous.” 

“I'm just not as good at meeting people as Gyuri is. She usually does the job and I tag along.” 

“I feel like I know you already, though.” He says, leaning back on his chair. 

“Because she talks a lot about me?” he nods “Yeah, she tends to do that.” 

“Wooyoung also talks a lot about you, San too… Sometimes,” your cheeks heat up and he misinterprets what it means “All good things, I promise.” 

You doubt that. 

Your brain gives you a hundred and one possible things San could've said about you. 

For some reason, none of them are good. But you choose to believe the gorgeous, long haired guy in front of you. 

“Well that's good to hear,” you take another sip of your drink before smiling at him “I was sure Woo was trash talking about me.” 

He shakes his head with a smile “He wouldn't dare, he has Gyuri on his ass all the time and I'm sure she would kill him.” 

“I'm sure she would kill him even if he didn't do it.” 

His smile grows wider “That's true,” he says, looking over at them who are, very coincidentally, fighting about something. You let out a sigh and he laughs again before clearing his throat “So, the publishing company. What kind of books do you like to edit the most?” 

Your smile grows wider too. 

For the next hour, you talk to Seonghwa about your job and how you started in it. He asks you about your classes and the challenges that you face on a daily basis and Wooyoung overhears and ends up joining the conversation as well.

You don't even hear footsteps nearing until a voice cuts everyone off. 

“I'm sorry I'm late!” 

“Baby!” Mingi gets up from his seat, but no one else does so he's stuck between the table and his girlfriend. 

“Oh, that's Love, huh?” you ask Seonghwa, Wooyoung too entertained messing with the couple to hear you anyways. 

“Yeah… Is that how Gyuri refers to her?” He frowns.

“Mhm,” you answer, leaning into him like you're about to tell him an important secret “I'm not supposed to call her that, don't tell her.” 

Seonghwa leans in too, pretending to zip his mouth shut and you laugh. 

The girl wiggles her way into the seat reserved for her and everyone lets out a groan when they smooch each other. You can only giggle and the sound draws her attention to you “Y/N?” 

You quickly nod “Yeah, hi, nice to meet you.” 

“Nice to meet you! Finally, I thought Wooyoung and Gyuri had an imaginary friend,” you laugh, shrugging at the joke “Love your outfit, by the way, are those— Oh, San, hi— Are those jellyfish?” 

You want to answer. You truly do, the yes right at the tip of your tongue, but words leave you when you turn your head around and find San already looking at you with wide eyes.

He looks great, he's a bit more muscular than what the pictures show and than the last time that you saw him, his arms hugging the fabric of the dress shirt he's wearing like it was tailored for him and everything. 

How dare he. 

You wonder if his heart is beating as loud as yours is right now. If he's surprised, disappointed or happy to see you at all. 

“Her favorite animal.” He answers for you “Hi, Y/N.” 

“Hi…” you whisper back and it feels like you're in a trance. He doesn't look away but the table quieting down once again snaps you out of it and you turn to the girl with a wide smile that you hope conceals whatever the fuck you're feeling at the moment “I love jellyfishes. Had a phase as a child when I would exclusively talk about them, too,” you chuckle, nervously, reaching for your earrings instinctively “Gyuri gave them to me as a present last Christmas.” 

You definitely overshared just now. From the corner of your eye you catch your best friend getting ready to step in if needed. 

Love looks at you, then at San (who's just standing next to you without uttering a word) and then back at you again, smiling like she just figured something out “Well, I love them.” 

“Thanks…” 

Coughing unnecessarily loud, Wooyoung gets up from his seat “You're late.” 

It takes a second but San tears his gaze away from you to look at his best friend and you take the opportunity to chug down the rest of your beer “Sorry, something came up.” 

Seonghwa turns at that and looks at him as well “You good?” 

“I am. Did you guys already eat? I'm starving.” 

“Nope. We're about to order. Let me get you a drink, come here.” And just like that, he disappears from your view and you almost sigh in relief. 

“Are you good?” Seonghwa asks you next and you reckon he's very observant. But then again, you're not the most gracious human being when you're in San’s presence, so, you figure everyone else noticed your change of mood as well. 

“Yeah, I just… I haven't seen him in a while and I didn't think he was coming. I was surprised, that's all.” 

“I can see that,” his eyes move around your face for some reason, frowning a little bit but then he seems to let it go, getting the menu closer to you “Okay, good, um… I actually made the reservation here because they have the best samgyeopsal in town.”  

“Do they?” 

“Mhm, so…” 

He helps you pick your food and when it's time to order, he moves back to his seat. Gyuri asks you with her eyes if you're okay, you nod and grab her hand under the table with a tiny smile and then everyone is moving around to make space for San and Woo once they return. 

He doesn't sit in front of you. 

Relief floods you and you can finally feel your muscles relax as he is so far away, at the other end of the table and in the same row of seats, so you don't really see him unless you really try. 

Which you don't, so your food goes down easy and the rest of the night as well.

Until everyone but you and Seonghwa move around their seats and he ends up right in your point of view as you do your best to ignore him and focus on his friend. 

Seonghwa asks you about your hobbies, you tell him that you love to write movie essays on websites no one even cares to read and he asks you to show it to him so he can look it up when he gets home.

“And you've always done this? Since highschool?” 

You nod and he beams “I read like the first three lines and it looks really good, Y/N. Is that why you love books so much? Because you're a writer?” 

“I wouldn't consider myself a writer but… Sure, I love to write.” 

“Did you know this?” he turns to San and your smile drops a little. 

“Know what?” 

“Your friend is an excellent writer.” 

“Oh, I know. She, uh… Used to write stories on her notebook instead of paying attention in math class,” he sips on his drink and at the detail you didn't know he knew, you turn to him fully “I used to read over her shoulder sometimes.” 

“She's really good.” Seonghwa is looking at your phone, still reading “Really smart, too.” 

San’s jaw tenses a little and you can't understand why “I know.” He says again. 

His friend is none the wiser, blocking your phone and returning it to you “I like it,” he says, smiling and you blush “The essay.” He clarifies after a second, prompting a laugh out of you that he joins. 

San doesn't laugh, but you don't pay attention to him because Seonghwa is asking you something else. 

When it's time to leave the restaurant, Wooyoung suggests going back to his apartment to milk the get-together as much as you all can.

You all throw your napkins at him in feign disgust at the choice of words but you all accept his proposal either way. 

So now you're sitting on the couch, legs crossed and head on Gyuri’s shoulder while you listen to all of them talk (more like argue) about something that happened at their university last week, their voices drowning the soft music playing out of the tiny speaker resting on the counter. 

San is on the floor, to your right. It's hard to keep your eyes off him when you feel him looking at you when you close your eyes and let the noise fade into the background. It's not like you're able to add something to the conversation anyway and Gyuri seems to be drinking her sorrows (not being able to hook Woo up with the girl she told you about) away. 

Your best friend is slurring her words already, drink in hand and index finger pointing at Jongho accusatively because, apparently, the fight they're talking about was his fault. 

“You don't—” she hiccups “You don't even know why it was your fault and it pisses me off even more, you know?” 

“Okay, let me take that.” Taking the drink from her hand and before she starts complaining you stand up to make your way into the kitchen. 

The sink is full and a mess, so you pour the liquid into it and leave the glass sitting right beside it. Distracted by the dilemma of helping Woo out with the dishes or not, you don't notice someone else also entering the space.

That's why you jump a little when you turn and catch Seonghwa leaning on the wall by the entrance. It startles you enough to laugh the nerves out afterwards and he shakes his head, smiling. 

“Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. They're boring me to death with the fight story.” 

You nod, realizing that maybe that's because he doesn't attend the university anymore. He told you he graduated last year “They're too drunk to let it go.” 

“Too drunk to dance to this amazing song, too. Who's playlist is that?” he frowns and you rest your back into the sink, rolling your eyes because he's pretending he doesn't know “Oh! Right, it's mine.” 

“And they just don't know how to appreciate it, huh?” he shrugs and you click your tongue “They're such bad friends, Seonghwa, I truly don't know why you keep them around.” 

“You appreciate it,” it's your turn to frown and he leaves his spot at the wall to walk towards you “You were singing along to it,” he explains and you let out an ah, nodding as he extends his palm to you, clearly inviting you to dance. 

“Oh, I don't… I don't really know how to—” 

“I'll show you.” 

His kind eyes are asking you to trust him. You really, really shouldn't. 

No matter how hard you try to bury the hopeless romantic little girl who decided to have a crush on a guy back in ninth grade, she's still there, begging you to let loose and live a little. 

When you grab Seonghwa’s hand, you think the smile he gives you was worth listening to her. 

You can't even tell the song that's softly playing anymore, a mellow r&b melody reaches your ear but you are not listening. You're focused on him, on the way he spins you around even if it doesn't fit the bit, on the way he laughs softly against your ear when he pulls you close by your hand and then pulls away just as quickly. 

Laughing as well, the spell of this beautiful stranger (because you remind yourself you don't really know him that well) is hard to break. 

Until it does. 

Someone clearing their throat behind you stops you and Seonghwa's feet from moving any further. When the tall, older guy turns you around, you're face to face with San and his scowl. 

“Sorry to interrupt but I need to get started on the dishes. Everyone else is heading out too,” he looks behind you, at the man who's still standing close to you and grabbing your hand “In case you want to ask Mingi for a ride.” 

“They finally stopped fighting!” he fakes excitement, finally letting go of your hand and walking in front of you, blocking San with his body. You chuckle, barely clapping your hands to join the pretense as he's pulling up his phone “Can I ask for your number, Y/N?” 

Blinking a few times, you're not sure if your heart speeds up because he's asking or because you hear San sigh exasperated behind him “S-sure.” 

When you put your information on his phone, he bids you goodbye with a pat on your head and hugs San on his way out the kitchen. 

Now that you two are alone, you suddenly want to run and join Seonghwa. You were doing so, so well. 

Avoiding San like the plague it's much easier when you're safe hiding behind your two best friends. 

Ignoring his stare would be much easier if you weren't stuck into place. 

“I—” 

“You—” 

You both speak over each other and you force out an uncomfortable laugh that he doesn't return. Instead, he motions you to go first while he occupies the space in front of the sink, turning the faucet on. In doing so, he has to grab your waist and move you out of the way which makes you short circuit for a second “I was going to help you with that.” You finally stammer out. 

He lets out what you take as an annoyed chuckle. 

“You seemed busy, I don't know how you would've done it.” 

Ouch. 

Why do you allow his words to cut so deep when you stopped caring about what he does a long time ago? 

The band aid rips, the stitches come undone and all it took him were five seconds to melt your resolve away like it was never there in the first place. 

“I'll… I go get Gyuri so we can leave Woo and you to get to it, then.” 

“Bathroom.” You hear him mutter under his breath as you are taking the final step to leave. 

“Huh?” 

“She's in the bathroom, probably puking her breakfast out,” he looks up at you to give you a tiny smile “You left her alone with Jongho and Woo for five minutes so she got ahold of another drink.” 

“God damnit.” 

Rushing out, you run into everyone else at the door and Mingi has to let go of his very intoxicated girlfriend when she reaches you to give you a hug “Don't be a stranger, Y/N! It was lovely to be around you, hm?” 

The sudden physical contact almost makes you gasp but you cover it up with a shy giggle “O-oh. Yeah, um, lovely to meet you too. All of you.” 

“Sorry about that,” her boyfriend grabs her arms and breaks the hug “She's right, though. Don't be a stranger.” 

You nod once, smiling a little more sincerely now and everyone says bye to you, including Seonghwa, who grabs your hand one last time and gives it a squeeze before closing the front door of the apartment. 

You think you feel your heart skip a tiny bit under all the shit San’s words pulled up to the surface a minute ago. But there's no time to dwell in that: you hear Gyuri opening up the bathroom door before gagging and closing it again with a slam. 

Jesus Christ. 

You two are really getting old. You stopped drinking like an hour ago, when you were starting to feel tipsy after your second beer, and you know she didn't drink as much as she used to maybe four years ago, but the visage that welcomes you when you open the door and find her crouched down in front of the toilet certainly brings back memories of those times. 

“I left you alone for like… five minutes.” Sighing, you lean in to hold her flimsy ponytail and pat her back. 

“I'm good,” she gags again and then holds up her hand to stop you from saying anything else “I'm fine.” 

Smiling, you help her up and she grabs the counter as she's washing away the taste of whatever she ate earlier today and alcohol “Me when I lie…”

“Y/N!” she hits your arm but the movement somehow almost makes her trip. 

“You want to lay down?” 

“Is she okay?” Woo’s head peaks into the bathroom and when he sees his ex, he makes a face. 

“Does she look like she's okay?” you help her out of the bathroom and start heading for Wooyoung's room. 

“Wow, wow— Where do you think you're taking her?” 

“To your room, dumbass!”

“Why mine? San's is literally right there.” He whines, pointing at the door you pass by without a second thought. You don't want to know where his room is or what it looks like at all. 

“Yeah, well, did San get her this drunk?” 

“How was I supposed to know that she was at her almost black-out phase? She never drinks that much in front of me!” he complains again but you're already tugging Gyuri in, who mumbles something incoherent and then flips Wooyoung off “Na Gyuri if you puke on my bed I swear to God!” 

If you didn't know Wooyoung so much, the whining and the attitude would probably make you think he didn't care for her at all. But he's brushing her hair out of her forehead, securing the blanket around her and moving to take her socks off when you reach the door. 

“I'm guessing you're okay with her staying the night?” 

“Of course you guys can stay the night, Y/N.” He says and he stumbles a little to get to you, so you smile and shake your head, about to let him know that you're not staying anywhere near his roommate when he continues “You can come over whenever you like. You know that, right?” 

“I know, Woo.” 

“I barely even see you these days, I… Oh! I forgot!” he points to the end of the hall, towards the kitchen “You guys don't really like each other so maybe don't come over when he's here because I don't want to see you sad!” 

“Lower your voice,” you whisper to him, bringing a hand to his face and patting his cheek a few times to wake him up “Did the alcohol suddenly hit you or something?” you sigh for the umpteenth time “Anyways, you should lay down and I'll get going. I'll come pick her up tomorrow and—” 

“That's such a great idea! Oh, I'm a genius.” 

“You didn't come up with it, Wooyoung.”

“San!” he calls all of the sudden and you wish he was sober enough to read the panic on your features. He seems much, much sober when his best friend starts walking down the hall and stops right beside you “Take Y/N home, please, she's going to give you a bag that you must protect with your life.” 

Said best friend looks at you, his eyebrow arched in a silent question “Gyuri’s stuff.” 

“Ah.”

“Go, go. It's getting late, I'll just… I'll cuddle with my ex until you get home.” 

And she has the nerve to say he doesn't want her back. 

When the door to Wooyoung's room closes and you're left with San on the poorly lit hallway, you make a mental note to never step foot on this place or allow your friends to drink ever again. 

You don't even look at the guy before practically running down the hallway and reaching for your bag. You make sure your phone is secured in your pocket as you slip your shoes on and soon you're grabbing the front door knob and twisting it. 

Keys jingle next to you but, again, you don't spare San a glance. 

“So—” 

“I'll get out of your hair, you don't have to… walk me home or whatever he said.” 

“Y/N, it's late.” 

Turning to him, your smile is as fake as the ones you've been giving him the past couple of years “And I'm a grown up, San, I can walk myself home.” 

“What about Gyuri’s stuff?” 

“She can wear Wooyoung's clothes, it's not like they never shared before. Anyway… Thank you for having me, it was nice to see you. Goodnight.” Your response comes out fast and it sounds as planned out as it actually is, kinda robotic and devoid of actual emotion. 

San can't see through you the way you see through him. It's okay, he won't mind it. 

He probably won't mind that you close his own door on his face either. 

If that door is what you hear when you're making your way down the stairs in order to make a fast escape, you choose to ignore it. 

You have to stop mid-way to compose yourself. You don't know why you feel like crying or why your heart is beating so fast. 

You knew going in that there was a possibility of seeing him tonight. You know how San affects you, so effortless and seemingly like no time has passed at all in between senior year and present day. 

You know all of this already, it's an endless loop that will keep repeating until you either move away or decide to stop agreeing to Wooyoung's plans all together. 

So why is your chest heaving with emotion? Why is nostalgia playing mind tricks with you? Why do you want to turn back and hug him and beg him to turn back time so you can do it all differently now that you know how to look like and what to say to make him love you back? 

Ah, you're definitely not sleeping tonight. So you start distracting yourself while walking down the stairs again. You remind yourself to tell a much sober Wooyoung how proud you are of him. You think about Seonghwa, about his kind eyes and the way he grabbed your hand to dance with him just half an hour ago. You wonder how long it will take you to get home if you jog all the way there. You—

Why the fuck is San outside when you get there? 

In a comedic way, you can see your attempt to distract your mind off of him slipping through your fingers and evaporating in the warm summer night breeze. 

In a realistic way, you're fucking pissed at him for taking the opportunity of a good night sleep away from you. 

You pass him and start jogging like you planned a minute ago. Footsteps follow you until his arm brushes yours and you take a step to the side to stop it from happening again. 

“Go home, Choi San.” 

“Stop fighting it, Y/N. I'm walking you home.” 

“It's a twenty minute walk—” 

“Drop it.” 

You do. And for the first ten minutes, no one utters a word even if the tension feels electric and the street is so quiet so you can hear when his breath accelerates when he jogs to catch up to you whenever you try to leave him behind. 

Isn't that ironic. He was the one who left you behind all those years ago. 

“I didn't know that you danced.” 

He breaks the uncomfortable but safe silence to say that? 

“Well, you saw me dance so I clearly dance when I want to.” 

“You never danced with me.” 

“You never asked me to.” 

He laughs “I'm pretty sure I did on several occasions, Y/N.” 

“Well, you're wrong,” you're getting annoyed. How dare he think he remembers better than you? “It doesn't matter anyway, what's past is past and—” 

“You also gave Hwa your number,” he interrupts, his long legs taking two strides to get in front of you, still walking, facing your direction with his hands on his pockets. 

It's dangerous and stupid, even if the streets are practically empty and the sidewalk barely has any bumps. 

You hope he falls on his pretty face.

“I did.* 

“I don't have your number.” 

“Well, I changed it and you never asked for it, so…” 

“You could've called me or texted me to let me know you did it.” 

He's getting on your nerves.

“San,” you start, taking in a deep breath you hope calms you down “We don't even text anymore, why would you want my number?” 

“Do you like him?” 

“Seonghwa?” you ask, frowning and he nods “Like… As a person?” 

“As a potential love interest.” He clarifies matter-of-factly and you roll your eyes. 

“I met him today, San. Why do you want my number?” 

“Because we're friends?” he offers after a second, shifting so he's walking by your side again. 

“Are we?” you ask, laughing bitterly at that “Because we haven't spoken a word to each other in years.” 

“That's not true.” 

“It is, San.” 

“You… You don't speak to me anymore, so…” 

“Well your girlfriend at the time told me she didn't feel comfortable with me speaking to you anymore,” you sigh “so I didn't and you didn't try to talk to me either.” 

“Well, I want to talk to you now.” 

“And is your new girlfriend aware of that? Is she comfortable with that? Because I don't want anyone telling me what to do anymore and—” 

“Why wouldn't she be comfortable? We're friends, Y/N.” 

“Are we?” you insist, petty, bitter and overall very, very hurt. 

He looks offended at that “I assumed we were?” 

He's getting on your fucking nerves. 

“We stopped being friends the second Minseo asked me to stay away from you because she didn't like me, San.” 

“She’s not in my life anymore—” 

The words are coming out of your mouth without even thinking it through. His demeanor, the way he's somehow reproaching you for whatever he saw between you and his friend, the way he pretends nothing happened between you and him, thinking that you two are still friends. 

“We stopped being friends when you pulled away from me, saw me do the same and did nothing to stop it from happening, San.” 

He stops in his tracks at that. You don't, pushing forward and quickening your step even if your calves burn. 

“Either way,” you speak up “Make sure you tell your girlfriend about wanting my number and then you can ask Seonghwa for it if you want—” 

“She's not my girlfriend anymore!” 

Now that stops you, just a few buildings down from yours, you turn around just to find San closer that you thought he'll be.

“O-oh. I… I didn't know that. I'm sorry.” 

“You didn't do anything to be sorry for.” 

“Still, it must suck so I'm sorry you're going through that.” 

“We didn't want the same things and so we ended it. It is what it is.” 

You nod. 

He walks the few steps separating you and you have to raise your chin a little to look him in the eye for the first time since you left his apartment “I wanted to tell you.” 

“That you broke up with your girlfriend?” 

“Yeah, I don't know why. It happened when I broke up with Minseo too, I just… You're the first person that I thought of calling when it happened. I texted you, too, but the messages didn't go through.” 

You hum at that. 

Why would he even say that? 

You resume your step, not really knowing what to say until you reach the stairs that lead to your building’s entrance. 

“And you didn't ask Woo for my number?” 

He follows you up. 

“I don't think he would've given it to me if I asked.” 

That sounds like an excuse, so you don't let it slide as you enter the code to your building and let yourself inside, San holding the door so he can get in as well “Why would he do that?” 

“Because he…” San sighs, pressing the elevator button “Nevermind. He just wouldn't.”

Frowning, you turn to him “No, now you have to tell me.” 

“It doesn't matter, really—” 

“Tell me, San.” 

He stares for a second and then looks away, like a child, vulnerable and you can't help but soften at that “He didn't like the way I treated you.” 

Eating your words from before, you shake your head “You didn't treat me like anything.” 

The elevator dings and you get inside. 

San follows you. 

“Exactly,” he says, resting his shoulder on the metal “Like you said I just did nothing and—” 

“Well, sometimes that's just what happens,” you want to end this. You want to pack Gyuri’s bag, give it to him and never see him again. 

This conversation hurts, it reopens barely closed wounds and it creates new ones you don't really need when it comes to whatever happened between you two. 

There's only so much a person can handle and it really doesn't help that you're a fool for San. He takes advantage of it, of the fact you can't really push him away at this point and the fact that he wants to have this conversation now instead of four and half years ago? 

Mean. 

He's mean. He's evil. He's… He's staring at you with a spark in his eyes that you recognize too well. 

Hope. 

When you get to your floor, you try to wipe the image away while busying yourself with your keys. Your hands tremble a little but you're able to open the door of your apartment and get in without inviting him. 

He gets in anyway. You take off your shoes as he closes the front door. 

He stays silent as he follows you around the apartment and you don't worry about turning the lights on. You get into Gyuri’s room and start picking out a comfy hangover outfit for your friend. Some clean underwear, sweatpants, two shirts and socks. 

When you drop to the floor, in front of the closet, to look for a bag to stash all of it in, San silently clutches beside you. 

“It shouldn't have happened to us. Never us.” 

You can't take it anymore. 

“San, what is this? What are you doing? I mean, why are we—” 

“I know.” 

“It's been years…”  

“I miss you.” 

He's so mean. But the softness in his tone resembles the one he used all the way back in highschool, when he told you that not being friends with you didn't feel right and you want to cave in right there and then. 

Your heart screams at you to do it, your reason warns you that you both have been through this before and it never ends right. 

You simply can't stay friends with Choi San. 

Your love for him must run too deep, your resentment claws at it and tries to hurt it but it's an immovable force that won't budge even if you try to bury it under the years that have passed, the things he has done. 

Tears gather in your eyes and you try to blink them away as you stare at your best friend's clothes on your lap and try to come up with something to close this path up again, reconstruct the picket fence you built around it the second he broke your heart for the first time. 

“Yeah,” you whisper back, letting the walls fall a little “I miss you too but I don't think I miss whatever version of you you are right now, San.” 

“W-what?”

His shaky voice makes the walls crumble and crash. 

Turning to him, your hand shakes as you place it on top of his “And you don't miss the version of me I am right now. You miss what I was back then, the comfort and the shoulder to cry on I offered you when Arin and you broke up. You miss my availability and the way I didn't press my feelings on you because it didn't matter if I liked you or not, you were my friend first and the guy that I had a crush second but—” you choke up, tears falling down your cheeks even if you don't want them to “I can't do it anymore. I'm not that girl anymore and I won't be there for you now that you and Kyungmi broke up because I can't handle it. I can't, I'm sorry.” 

He doesn't deny any of it.

He stares at you, tears wetting his cheeks as well and it hurts even more this way. You wish you had the strength to hold it together, to treat him like you did on the street a few minutes ago, but you can't. 

There's no way you could ever hate him like you want to. 

“You know…” he starts in a whisper, letting out a humorless chuckle “That's what I used to tell myself too.” 

“Hm?” 

“That you were my friend first and the girl that I had a crush on second.” 

How dare he mutter the words you always wanted to hear, the ones you picture being said in a different setting, the ones that haunted your every waking thought that period of time you doubted your friends, your mom, yourself for even believing Choi San could ever have a crush on you. 

He doesn't get to say them. You want to tell him but the words die on your throat and form a lump that you can't swallow down. 

You don't get to say that. You don't get to say that. 

Your hand drops from his and you look away again only to grab the first bag you find on the closet floor and shove Gyuri’s stuff in it. 

If the lack of response it's what prompts the hurt in his voice the next time he speaks, you don't want to think about it. 

“I wish I didn't. Now it's too late to do something about it, huh?” 

This time the rage comes back with a mask on. Feing settlement for all the what if’s covers you like a blanket on a really hot summer night: unwanted, unnecessary. 

But you can't sleep without it, so you do nothing to push it away. 

“I guess it is.” 

You get up from the floor, leaving the room and wiping your face with bitterness coating your movements as you wait by the door for him to get out. 

When he does and he steps in front of you, you extend the bag and he takes it without missing a beat. 

Voice robotic and words premeditated, you open the front door for him “Thanks for walking me home and taking this back.” 

He leans a little into your space and you don't move away. But just as he did in highschool, he takes in your hitched breath and does nothing more.

“Thanks for letting me talk to you.” 

He didn't give you much of a choice there but it's okay. This is closure, this is the end of your story with Choi San and you convince yourself you're glad that it is. 

“Sure,” you whisper back and he steps outside, turning around to watch you slowly close the door “goodnight, San.” 

He doesn't say it back. 

When the darkness of your apartment engulfs you, that's when you let yourself breakdown. Covering your mouth with your palm, you descend until your knees are against the wood on the floor and closing your eyes you make it a point to let it all out. 

You'll let it all out, drink some water, text Wooyoung and Gyuri to let them know you're safe and go to bed. 

And tomorrow you'll begin your day with the freedom of finally knowing what would've happened if you or San ever took the next step. 

This is fine. This is moving on. This is— 

The doorbell rings. 

Opening the door again, you crease your eyebrows in a silent question that San doesn't care to answer, so you look around the floor in case he forgot something you're missing. You wipe your cheeks and under your eyes as you turn to him again “Did you—” 

Time slows down when he makes it past the threshold and you can't move an inch, gaping at who you once thought was the love of your life “What are you doing, San?” 

“Something about it.” 

“What?” 

“Forgive me,” he asks, breathless and in a murmur, fueling your confusion. And then he's closing the distance, dropping Gyuri’s bag and cupping your face so gently that it hurts “but I'm doing something about it.” 

You stopped dreaming about the possibility of San kissing you that one time you two were on your bed and, another time, you told yourself that, if it ever happened, you wouldn't kiss him back. 

It's too late to kiss him back. 

But sparks fly when he crushes you against the wall and takes in a breath before slothing his mouth against yours like he's been waiting to do this every single day for the past nine years you've known each other. 

There's nothing you can do to conceal the way yearning takes over you, pours out of you, making you breathe into his open mouth and kiss him back like you always wanted to. 

You already know it is a mistake by the time you grab his shirt to keep him in place but does it really matter when this is all you ever wanted? 

Feeling warmth leave your face, you notice the way he desperately crowds your space as his chest bumps into yours, leg claiming its place in between yours, the palm that leaves you pressing against the wall, next to your head. 

The kiss is filled with emotion, with longing and desire and it steals the air out of your lungs tragically and beautifully at the same time. Before, you used to dream about his lips making everything feel right, making you fit in in a world you didn't feel like you belonged to. 

But this kiss drops you into uncharted territory, drags you into the depths of something that should be buried by now, after all this time. It brings the flame back to life and it's dangerous. 

The fact that it feels this way, both marvelous and catastrophic at the same time, makes you so sad. 

Sorrow descends down your face until your mouth is picking it up and your tongue is mixing it with whatever emotion is cruising through San right now. 

You have to know. 

He spent your entire youth and early adulthood keeping it to himself, knowing when to show his true colors and when to hide them, choosing who to do it with and you realize the San that lives in your head is nothing but a figment of what you wanted him to be. 

Because him holding to your waist like it's his only lifeline doesn't fit the San you remember, him telling you he liked you back then doesn't fit the guy who was just your best friend. 

You need to know. 

“San,” brokenly, you speak into his mouth and he pulls away just enough to see your face. Your eyes remain closed, your chest heaving and your lips trembling “Why are you doing this?” 

“Because I want you, Y/N.” 

You push him away, weakly, almost like you don't really mean it because deep down you don't but he steps away like you're asking to. 

Because, of course, your mind scraps the bottom of your resentment to give his words a completely new meaning. 

“You can find another girl to fuck and be your rebound, San,” more tears spill down and you wipe them away in anger but more threat to fall down so you cover your face with your hands and groan, desperate “I can't do this, especially not when I know that you know how bad I wanted you. Y-you know what you do to me San so stop—”

“I want you in my life. I don't— What? I don't want you like a rebound, I… Can we sit down and turn on a light so I can look at you when I say this?” 

His words should be reassuring but they're not, the way you tend to feel unlovable around him coming up to the surface, preventing you from thinking clearly. 

You can also feel his lips on yours still. It's dizzying but you manage to push yourself off the wall and pad around until you hit the switch of the warm light lamp near the couch and the apartment comes to life just like that. 

He takes in the space he's never seen before, walking slowly towards the living room and looking over the bookshelf that screams your name all over it. He smiles a bit as he looks over the book titles and you look away before your heart starts acting up again. 

You can't stay mad at him for long if he's looking through something so personal to you and smiling that fondly at it. It feels even more intimate than the kiss you two just shared. 

Wiping your cheeks once more, you are sure you look a mess but he doesn't seem to mind it once he comes into your point of view, sitting down on the couch, in front of your standing form. He grabs you by your hands until you're sitting next to him, close to him, cologne intoxicating your senses. 

“I told you I liked you when we were in highschool, right?” 

You nod. 

“You seemed surprised but it was dark so I'm not really sure. I thought you knew, everyone knew.” 

Oh, he's a comedian. 

“How would I have known, San? I… Yeri told me you liked me one time, in senior year, but I denied it. Then, my mom told me you seemed to want me in a non-platonic way and I dismissed her as well,” you take in a deep, shaky breath “For me, the thought of you liking me just didn't make sense. You loved Arin and she's… She doesn't look or act like I did back then at all, so how would I have known?” 

You didn't need clues and puzzles and what if’s, you needed words and actions that weren't confusing. You needed him to tell you back then, because telling you right now and kissing you senseless after he broke up with a girl he supposedly was very in love with means nothing but pain. 

“I didn't realize you liked me too,” you make a face, about to tell him off, but he interrupts “I didn't! I thought you liked Yeri and I thought you saw me as the annoying guy who wouldn't leave you alone. I only just realized it a couple years ago, because Woo told me.” 

You raise your eyebrows and mutter under your breath “I'm murdering him tomorrow.” 

The corner of his lips twitch before he shakes his head in dismissal of what you said “I liked you. I really, really liked you and never told a soul because… Well, it's scary when you fall in love, right?” 

“San, you had no problem telling Arin, Minseo or Kyungmi that you liked them.” 

He looks down to the floor, lost in thought and you want to open your mouth to take what you just said into a new direction, but you don't “Maybe that's because I didn't love them the way I love you.” 

Oh. 

Love you? As in… He loves you right now too? 

No way. 

“You didn't love me, San. You don't love me right now either, you… Maybe we both were in love with the idea of love? Maybe that's what happened and—” 

“Quit telling me what I'm feeling, Y/N. You always do that, you always assume you know what I'm feeling but you don't!” 

Raising your voice a little more, you try to get your point across in the worst way possible: by being stubborn “You don't know me! How can you possibly—” 

“I knew you back then, Y/N! And I loved you back then, too!” He looks like wants to say something more but he doesn't, instead, he takes a calming breath and then leans into your space for the third time tonight “And I might not know you now but I want to. That's what I meant when I said that I want you. I want you in my life, I want to know the person you became when we stopped talking, I want to talk to you every single day and I want to hold you and kiss you and be by your side however you want me to, I just… I can't lose you again.” 

His confession renders you speechless and you notice his chest is heaving, going up and down in sync with yours. 

But the way he pulled away from you senior year still hurts, it paints a picture of what's going to happen if you accept this. 

You can't believe his words. 

He must feel lonely and confused, like he did when Arin broke up with him. He must be looking for a shelter you can't provide. 

“And when you find another girl that's more to your liking? What then, San?” 

“There's no one that I love more than you, Y/N and I'm sorry I was shit at proving it back then and I'm sorry that it took so many years for me to come to my senses.” 

He's tearing up and your heart pangs absurdly loud at that. 

“I saw you with Seonghwa earlier today, laughing and dancing and flirting and I thought: Oh, maybe if I didn't waste that much time pretending I'm someone I'm not, that would be me.” 

You stare for a second, you watch a single tear drop down his cheek and then look away. 

“Is that what you were doing? Is that why you pulled away?” 

“Maybe?” he offers and you turn to him again. Is not enough and maybe he can see it in your expression, because he goes on “I mean, I… I thought I wanted Arin. I thought I wanted Minseo. I had people in my life who were really happy to see me with them and I just…” 

“Wanted to keep them happy,” you nod, understanding. He doesn't have to say his mothers name for you to know he's referring to her and maybe his other highschool friends outside of Wooyoung “Were you pretending with me as well?” 

“No,” he answers right away “You and Woo were the only ones who saw me for who I really was back then.” 

“And why do you think you love me now, San?” you ask, deflating against the couch and ignoring the way your heart soars at his quick response.

“Because I never stopped,” he stammers out and then clears his throat “Because I looked for you in Minseo and Kyungmi and I wondered for years why they couldn't make me feel the same way. And I told myself I didn't need to feel the same way and that I deserved to wonder for the rest of my days but seeing you tonight? I can't.” 

Straightening your spine, the pained look you sent in his direction is not intentional but it prompts him to lean closer and closer until he's cupping your cheek again. 

“I can't keep wondering.” His voice is a sweet whisper, a siren song that draws you in until your forehead is resting against his. 

All these years, you were so self-focused on changing to a better version of who he used to know, learning from your mistakes and closing off to the opportunity of letting him prove himself a better man, you forgot that time passed for him too. He’s telling you he changed, too. 

Imagination is a safe space. Is where you hide, where desire can take its wings and fly high without hurting you too much. Make belief has rescued you before but this? The way his nose nuzzles softly into yours and your breaths tangle? This is very real. And reality is prone to hurt you. 

But the want you feel is undeniable. The way your entire being wants to cave in and give him an opportunity is suffocating, it makes you choke out a sob that he follows with one of his own. 

You kiss him, softly at the beginning, but his hands on you tighten and you let yourself get lost in the way they go down your neck and your arms, caressing you softly until they reach your waist and pull you into his lap. 

Pulling away, you grab his chin with two fingers and force his teary eyes to snap open, searching for an answer on yours.

“If you hurt me,” you start, breathless “If you're mocking me, if you're using me to get over Kyungmi, if you are pulling me back in to break my heart again, Choi San, I swear to God I will kill you.” 

“I won't do that to you ever again, Y/N,” he returns softly “I love you, I'm sorry if I ever hurt you but I love you.” 

Others would argue that it is pathetic how quickly you forgive him. But then again, you could never be mad at San. 

You were only mad at yourself for how everything turned out. 

“I love you too, Sannie.” 

Saying something never felt so freeing before. 

“Oh, Y/N…” you can see the way relief washes his worries away “Y/N…” he starts to say but then leans in to kiss you again and never finishes his words. 

You don't mind it. 

Pouring out all the pent up affection you pretended to bury for years, you explore his mouth and carve into your memory the way he feels. The way he sighs into it when your tongue brushes his, the way he pulls you in closer when your fingers reach the nape of his neck and pull on his hair there, hands splayed on your back so he can keep you in place as he leans down and places you against the worn out couch. 

He maps you out, hands going down your waist in a familiar feeling that brings back that memory of you two laying down on your bed. Only this time, he's actually touching you with a purpose. This time, you two have made up your minds and your limbs are tangled in a way you can feel all of him pressing up against you. 

It starts to get stuffy, the space on the couch not nearly enough to have him the way you want to. Soon, you're both standing up, mouths still moving against each other and hands roaming everywhere until you're undoing the buttons on his shirt. 

He pulls away to fully take it off, eyes never leaving yours, dropping the shirt to the ground, next to the couch and then he's on you again, making your back crash into the wall as he works the knots keeping your blouse together. 

He walks you through the hall, stopping only to take your top off and then he's walking you to a room that has a familiar scent that doesn't belong to you.

“Wrong room, wrong room,” you say into his lips and he laughs, looking to your surroundings “Mine’s over there.” you point to the other end of the hall, taking his hand and pulling him towards it. 

You don't make it far before he's yanking you towards him again. He looks down, taking your body in and you do the same, his firm and defined stomach a sight you never thought you would be able to see. 

“You're so beautiful,” he whispers, backing you against the wall again and kissing your cheek “So, so beautiful.” 

Turning your head to chase his mouth, he lets out a heavy sigh when his lips trail a path to your neck and murmurs against the skin there “I never told you how beautiful I found you before but you're so perfect, baby.” 

“I always thought I wasn't your type, San,” you let out a noise when he grabs your hips and pulls you forward, crashing his into yours “Fuck.” 

“And I always thought you were too much for me, too smart,” he kisses his way back up, focusing on your jaw and chin until he's kissing your cheek again “too pretty,” he moves to your ear, pecking right under it and you hold him closer “too good for me.” 

It doesn't really matter that this is all new to you, the way he's speaking, the tenor of his voice, the things he's saying… It sparks something familiar in you. You're pulling his hair back to make him look at you, a moan slipping out of his lips at that. 

You want to hear it again. 

He's smiling at your reaction, hand tightening on his locks.

However, that smile drops when he seems to recognize the gleam in your eyes. 

You gather up courage, feeling empowered by the way his hooded eyes darken but wait patiently for you to speak your mind. 

“Maybe I'm too good for you now, too,” you lean in, your lips softly tracing his “Maybe you should prove to me that you deserve me, San.” 

It's a dare. One that he seems to like a lot because his eyes sparkle with the same fire they used to back in the day. 

“Oh, I'll prove it to you, alright.” He whispers, panting when you let go of his hair and he leans into you to kiss your lips briefly before pulling away again.

His hand tilts your head back and you rest it against the cold wall, his fingers touch your bottom lip before going down and down and down until they rest against the seam of your pants, unbuttoning them in one swift movement. 

Going back up, his nails softly dig into your skin and you preen, taking the soft sting of his ministrations like you two have done this a million times before.  

His mouth is on yours again, his hands are pulling you off the wall and into your room until you two land on your mattress with a soft tud, a moan spilling out of your lips when he sloths his knee in between your legs and pulls them apart with expertise. 

You don't have the mind to break down what that means. 

Opening your eyes when he kisses down your neck again, you notice your room is barely lit by the street lights outside, curtains pulled open and windows closed but, this way, you can see the way San kisses between your breasts and your belly, catching his eyes when he looks up to measure your reaction. 

You sigh, already feeling some sort of build up going on down there and he hasn't even touched you properly yet. 

You don't even want to think about how wet you actually are. 

He leans back, open palms going down your legs slowly until they reach your feet. It tickles and you can't help but let out a giggle that he joins short after, his gaze never losing the edge because of it, though. 

“San…” 

He guides your hips up so he can take off your pants and you sigh when his hands return, raising your leg up “I missed your laugh,” he says low, attaching his lips to your calf “I miss being the one making you laugh too.” 

You feel like crying again but then he's letting your leg down and grabbing the other one to give it the same treatment, so your tears can wait. 

This time, he moves upwards till his mouth nears your clothed center and your breath hitches. 

Yeah, you can definitely cry later.

“You want me to prove to you how much I want you, Y/N?” he murmurs, his lips ghosting your mound now “How much I love you?” 

“San, p-please…” 

“Fuck, look at you.” He sounds like he's too lost in the heat of the moment and you're kind of grateful, because the moan you let out when his fingers hook on your underwear and pull them to the side to expose your pussy to his hungry eyes is loud. 

When he kisses you right where you need him, you let out another moan. And when he parts your folds to lick a stripe up to your clit, you curse him under you breath until he's laughing against you softly, the vibrations accumulating heat on your belly. 

He doesn't tease you much longer and you look down at him just to catch the moment his self control slips, eating you out like a man starved while his hand stays on your hip to hold you down and keep you underwear from interrupting his feast. 

“This is like,” he dives in again for a few seconds and you grab the sheets beneath you “All my fantasies coming to life but better.” 

He's so chatty during this and the only thing you can do is stammer a yeah? and pray for it to reach his ears.

“Mhm,” the circles your clit with the tip of his tongue and your legs shake “Taste even better than what I dreamed, too.” 

The heat of his mouth leaves you, lips spreading your wetness through your stomach until he fully reaches your face, your eyes closed and lips already waiting for him. 

Tongue caressing yours, your hands trail down his torso and focus on getting his pants off. You're shaking with excitement so it proves to be more difficult than you imagined at first but he helps you in unbuckling his belt. 

Once the piece of clothing is one the floor (or the bed, you're not really paying attention on where it lands), you don't waste time in feeling him up through his boxers. 

The hiss you get in return makes you smile. 

Bringing your lips to his neck, you suckle on this pulse point and gain another pleased noise before grazing your teeth against skin and moving to his collarbone next.

In a way, you get what he means. If he truly was pining over you the way you were pining over him, the thought of exploring his tan skin and making him moan feels like a dream. 

So you kiss him again in order to make it all last longer. 

The minutes pass between the both of you, softly making out and figuring out what gets both of you going, discarding your underwear in the process. 

You realize your moans make San’s cock twitch against your leg and he seems to notice the way your hips buck up everytime his hands handle you more roughly. 

After a few minutes of just this, you feel his hand making its way down again and the pads of his fingers circle your clit until you're grasping the sheets again. He gathers your arousal and then enters one finger slowly and when it slides in and out with ease, he enters the next one. 

There's really not much prepping he needs to do, already soft and compliant under him, you relax into his comfortable touch before you're aching for something else. And your mouth is preoccupied with his, so you do something else to catch his attention. 

Hands caressing his back, you let them drop to his ass with a soft smack that wins you a soft huff on amusement and then a whine when you move his hips towards yours. 

“Condom?” 

You shake your head “I'm clean and I have an implant.” 

“Oh?” he smirks, about to tease you but you squeeze his butt again and he moans “Fuck. I'm clean too.” 

“Good,” you whisper against his cheek, laughing as he arranges his position. 

And he might've been touching you all this time, kissing you until your mind emptied and your lips are all swollen up, but the look on his eyes when he slowly enters you is what might drive you over the edge. 

Grabbing your hands, he pins them on the side of your head as he moves, dropping his head down with a groan as you take him in, nose touching yours and moth whispering sweet things you can't quite pick up. 

He feels so good. 

This all feels way too good to be real. 

In the cloud you're at, you allow yourself to dream a little more before the reality of what your confessions mean dawns on you. 

For now, you allow San to make love to you. Sweetly, slowly and with a passion you never were lucky enough to encounter before. 

Maybe it's because your previous lovers didn't have your heart the way San does. 

He rams his hips into yours hard, closing his eyes and resting his warm cheek against yours, kissing your face inch by inch when you accompany his movements with your own. 

When his pace picks up, you hug him close and secure your legs around his hips as you moan. 

“Y-yes, fuck.” 

“Like that?” he repeats the movement from before, pulling out and then in with such force it rocks the entire bed. 

“Just like that, baby, fuck.” 

“God, you sound so good,” you smile a little, forehead resting on his shoulder before your head falls down against your pillow again “I love you,” he repeats against your lips, letting your hands go to cup your face with both of his again “I love you so much.” 

Teetering over the edge, you feel happy tears stinging in your eyes. Though closed, you can feel San’s stare on you, on your face, on the way you react to his sweet words and relentless pace. 

You say it back in a whisper and he repeats it again and again and again until you're both coming and tears are spilling down your cheeks. 

He kisses them away. 

You wipe his with trembling fingers as you come down, having trouble breathing from everything that just happened. 

You don't feel suffocated anymore, you feel like you've been freed. Like this was supposed to happen at some point and you two finally got around to it. 

“I love you,” he says once more before slipping out of you with a parting kiss. 

Holy shit. 

When San gets up from the bed and you point him to the bathroom, down the hallway, you're left with a sticky mess in between your legs and a lot to think about but you settle on four things. 

San just made love to you. There's no way that was just sex. 

There's also no way you're coming back from this. 

Gyuri is probably going to kill you. 

And that, obviously, your feelings for San never left. You feel the familiar warmth of them spreading through your post-orgasmic state. They're there, mocking you, asking you who the fuck you thought you were for pushing them away. 

He returns, toilet paper in his hands before leaning in and cleaning you up, lips immediately finding home on your skin as he does. 

You both giggle at that.

You probably need to shower but you've been crying and there's no way you're leaving this bed tonight. He throws the paper away on your bedroom’s trashcan and then crashes into the bed next to you, still naked, still looking at you with so much love you're wondering what stopped you from seeing it was there before. 

Taking his hand, you bring it to his lip and give his knuckles a peck “That was really good.” 

“It was.” 

“I can't believe we actually just did that…” 

He smiles and what he says next shocks you even more than his confession “I want to take you out.” 

“San… You just came inside me not even ten minutes ago.” 

“And?” you laugh and he shakes his head, leaning into your space again “I spent many years doing everything wrong, let me do it the right way.” 

“Making love to me one time and then taking me out on a date is not the right way, sir.” 

He nuzzles your cheek with his nose and you let out a pleased sigh “Who said it was just one time, huh?” Attacking your neck with his lips again, you push him away with a laugh. 

“Oh, come on!” 

He laughs as well “Give me ten minutes and I'll make it two!” 

San makes love to you two more times. And by four in the morning, you're snuggled into his arms and sleeping soundly. 

When you wake up and find the space next to you empty, you think it was all a dream. Your naked form begs to differ and you quickly put the t-shirt you usually wear to bed on and your panties underneath it to go out and face the feelings of your actions fighting with the blender in the kitchen. 

“How do you two live with this stupid thing?” 

“We don't,” you answer, startling him “We don't use it. What are you trying to make?” 

San’s shirtless, wearing his pants and his hair messy. Looking back at the living room clock, you see it's just five past ten. 

Smiling as he approaches you, you forget you must look a mess too when he pecks your lips and barely pulls away “Good morning, beautiful.” 

You pretend to cringe at that, pulling away “Oh, God. Morning, dumbass.” 

“You like it, you're blushing,” he points out and the pink on your cheek deepens as he's going back to the blender “Does anything work here?” 

“The microwave,” you shrug “And the stove. Were you trying to make yourself a…” you look over the ingredients he has pulled out of your fridge “Green juice?” 

“I was trying to make both of us a green juice,” he corrects and your heart skips at the immediate domestic attitude he has with you “But now I can tell neither of you drink anything like it, hm? I'm buying you a blender.” 

“Please don't.” 

“Why?” 

“Why do you think that one is broken?” 

He hums, huffing out a laugh seconds later and you walk over to him, unsure on how to approach him even though what you did yesterday night and earlier this morning didn't allow your shyness to step in. 

Now you're feeling it. 

He can tell, because he stops fighting with the steel appliances to grab your waist and pull you close “I wanted to make you breakfast.” 

“We can make breakfast together and I can order your green juice,” you compromise and he nods, but he doesn't let you go “And later we can go out on that date you promised me yesterday and we can go over what we're going to tell the two idiots.” 

His smile drops. 

“Oh, fuck.” 

Grimacing, you nod “It was the second thing I thought about after waking up.” 

“What was the first?” 

“Oh, I was trying to remember if you ever asked me to dance before,” he nods with a smile “Guess what? You didn't.” 

He fake gasps at that “I did!” 

“No, you didn't!” 

“Babe, yes I did,” he insists and you laugh, which prompts him to wrap his hands around you tighter when you try to get away from him “It was when—” 

“Oh. My. God. I'm going to be sick again.” 

Now when the fuck did Gyuri come back. 

And why is Wooyoung with her too, jaw slack as he watches both of you pull away from each other and create a safe distance that doesn't help whatever your best friends just saw. 

“It worked?” he asks and you can barely hear him until he hollers like a crazy person “Oh, it worked! I am a genius!” 

“Wooyoung, hold me! I'm going to kill them!” Gyuri looks like she's about to launch towards you at any second now, so you close your eyes and accept your fate. But nothing happens “Wait— What worked?” 

When you open them again, San is hiding behind you and Gyuri’s back is to both of you as she looks at Wooyoung with, what you assume, murderous intentions. 

“Gyuri, let's talk about this,” the black haired guy puts his hands up “You were too drunk to discuss it so I made the choice of— Gyuri, no!” 

You burst into laughter when she starts chasing him around the apartment and San giggles as well, only more nervous than delighted by their little cat and mouse game. 

He's probably sensing he's next on her hit list. 

As if you would let anything happen to him in the first place. 

“Stop, stop! I'm sorry, please leave me alone!” you hear Wooyoung’s voice echoing through your hall and in a second he's entering the kitchen, rounding you and San “I'm so happy for you guys, really, this was meant to happ— Stop!” He cries when Gyur catches onto him and yanks his hair to stop him from running.  

“Y/N,” she starts, chest heaving and you take a step back, crashing into San’s chest. He holds onto you only to push you a little and protect himself from the fury of your best friend “When I told you fuck him I didn't meant this!” 

“I know.” 

Wooyoung whines but he can't get away from her grasp so he just accepts it and pouts like a child. 

“A-and you!” She points towards the guy resting his chin on your shoulder “How dare you! If this is something casual for you then—” 

“I love her.” He defends himself quickly and your heart all but stops at that. 

“You do?” Wooyoung coos, amazed at his best friend’s confession. 

Gyuri's anger falters at that. 

“You… You do?” 

“And I love him,” you let out in a shy whisper, smiling a bit “But you already knew that.” 

“Of course I already knew that, bitch, I am your other half,” she makes a point to stare at San as she says it, letting Wooyoung go and he massages the part of his scalp that was targeted by his ex “Don't forget that.” 

“Y-yes ma'am.” 

You laugh again and Woo joins the embrace, eyeing you both expectantly and rolling his eyes when neither of you say anything to him “Well, you are so welcome guys. What are we having for breakfast?” 

You and San don't get to go out on that date. 

But when you do, he asks you to be his girlfriend the next day. 

And when you say yes he almost breaks down in excited tears.

Eventually, even Gyuri comes around and threatens him into treating you right, which means he earned her seal of approval. 

You delete the document on your laptop when you find it a month into being his girlfriend and, instead, start drafting your new beginning on it, in first person this time because the story doesn't feel like it belongs to someone else now.

The first line read as it follows: 

How did I ever think San and I could be just friends? 

If you read all the way down here: THANK YOU SO MUCH. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

© jensthwa, 2024.

[elssero]

i really like bartender sero.

he attempts to look cool and mansplain the bar to you on your first shift as if you haven’t been bartending for a year and he gets all embarrassed when you tell him you know how everything works.

you think he’s a little awkward- definitely hilarious but awkward nonetheless.

it’s not until customers start coming in that you see him come out of his shell-

he’s mixing drinks like a magician and he’s flirting with every pretty girl who orders some cute drink.

he’s got a charming smile on his face- the type you’ve only ever read about.

you watch him pour out shots for the two of you- if you weren’t so enamoured by him you’d refuse- your supposed to be working!- actually maybe one shot won’t hurt.

he’s kinda a sleaze- telling the same jokes and giving the same compliments to everyone. you recognize it’s an act.

he seems to enjoy- no revel in the attention he gets from the women in the bar- he’s in his element.

he glances over at you everytime he hears some guy make a pass at you- looking over protectively until he hears you also flirt back with the men ordering drinks. a wide smile flashes across his face as you take the man’s tip and place it in your bra- holy shit.

he thought you were attractive from the second you walked in to help him set up- the bar he worked at had been gaining popularity recently. when asked by his manager about hiring a new bartender sero made a joke about making it someone pretty.

pretty bartenders get more tips right? he watches the whole night as you take extra money from clearly horny men flirting with you- he watches as you don’t back down- he likes it.

you pour drinks just as well as he does- keeping up with him the entire night. he’s glad the new hire is capable.

he attempts to make small talk with you all night- asking about your school and your major- you have mic for english? maybe you share a class with one of his friends. (it’s denki btw, he’s been talking about the pretty girl in his english class for weeks.)

he likes the way you say his name- the tone your using- he can’t decipher if your using it for him or for the men at the bar.

you ask about him too, excited when he tells you he’s an art major- you knew it.

you brush up against him when you move in front of him to get a drink from the mini fridge next to him- he instinctively holds a hand on your waist as you bend down to get whatever it is your looking for-

standing back up slowly you eye him suspiciously. sending him a teasing look when he removes his hand from your waist- your trouble.

he tells you about his friends- his plans for after school and you do the same, he’s so easy to get along with.

as the night comes to an end he watches you pull the stack of cash from between your tits- he doesn’t miss how the entire kitchen staff watch it too- maybe he’s got some competition.

you’ve made more than him. a twinge of pride hits his chest- no one’s ever made more in tips than him.

you split it with the kitchen staff- smiling softly at them as you thank the cheery redhead for the fries he made you earlier.

he offers to walk you home- you tell him you already have a ride, thanking him for his offer- he’s real sweet.

the man who pics you up is blonde and loud- complaining about how he’s not doing this again. your making your own way home next shift as you only laugh at him.

he recognises him as monoma- he was shinso’s partner in his project last month. is that really who your dating?

you wave sero a quick goodbye before you get into the car- you look forward to seeing him the whole week.

he kinda slumps about you being taken for a couple days, he can’t really be surprised- your beautiful.

maybe he’ll make an effort to tone down on the flirting- but you seemed to reciprocate it so well?

his red haired friend asks about you too- “the pretty new bartender” he calls you.

your next shared shift happens the following thursday- your already there when he walks in, the bar completely set up.

you teasingly scold him for being late- embarrassed he thanks you for setting everything up.

it’s no biggie!- you say you guys can just chill for a while until people start coming in.

he brings up monoma- cursing himself for his awkward “how’s the boyfriend?”- god could he be anymore obvious.

you laugh in his face- erupting into a fit of giggles as you explain monoma is not your boyfriend- he’s a high school friend of yours who’s also dating your roommate/best friend.

you explain it’s only strictly ever been platonic- reaching for your room to message someone you have saved as kendo :3.

he watches you type out a message- remember that cute bartender at my new job? he thought me and neito were a thing i’m losing it. i hate ur man.

that cute bartender? that’s him right?

of course it’s him. who else would it be.

bartender sero spend the next couple weeks intensely flirting with you- it takes him weeks before he finally asks you out on a date.

he’s elated when you say yes.

this ended up so much longer than i thought it would be but im obsessed with sero i need him.

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

For @orange-artist ‘s ASL god AU DTIYS! (congrats on the milestone!)

This was really fun, I absolutely love drawing ethereal designs

Additional notes 👇

So i adjusted the original designs ... a bit... To draw in my style means that i have to make everything extra, sorry.

Ace:

I like the base design for Ace a lot! i looked at other posts to get more context to these outfits and i say this draping billowy pants design that i liked a lot more, so I used that instead of the ones he has in the picture.

I love his cute little star crown, i think it looks dope as hell. I wanted to bring it to other parts of him too, so I gave him an arm cuff with it, too! If i had drawn the front of him, you would also see that crown design around his waist as a belt, too.

i originally had him in a pose similar to the one he has in the original, but after i sketched out the other two poses i found he looked a little two flat, so i brought his hand out to the foreground.

I like the choice for his hair to gradient out to look like a comet! I had a lot of trouble trying to make it look Just Right, but i think I nailed it

Luffy:

I didn't change much about his design, I really just made him a little more yellow than he was before. Its hard to improve an already banger design. He's my ethereal silly guy...

I really love the idea of Luffy's scars looking like gold, that's really cool.

I wish I could've added that cold crown he has around his head, but i didn't know how to without it looking sloppy so i had to leave it out.

Sabo:

I changed so much about Sabo's design, i would like to send out a formal apology for it, I admit I went a little too ham. I had already completed the picture before i went back to look at the original post and saw the comments about how Sabo was supposed to look... discreet...... I... Did Not Make Him Discreet. In The Slightest. :DDD ehe

I needed help for Sabo's pose because i was having so much trouble with the hand, i called upon my good website friend JustSketchMe to get it right. I had this idea for the pose because i wanted the claw to look like a crescent moon, I think it looks pretty good.

I would've given him normal snakebite piercings too but i felt that the ring piercings looked more Crescent-like, so i went with that.

Moon belt. i want that moon belt. I have no outfits it would go with. but i still want it.

I love Sabo's whispies that he has in the original design, but when I put them in the art i had, it cluttered up the piece too much and I had to get rid of them. A moment of silence for the fallen whispies...

Noticing now I forgot Sabo's Cane..... oops.

General:

I shaded Luffy to be lighted by the sun, Sabo the moon, but i made Ace be the light for himself. There's some deep meaning to that, but I cant think of one right now.

I had a lot of fun drawing this, i hope i was failthful enough to the original designs even though i changed everything a lot :)

Drinking game: take a shot everytime I used the word "I", take a double shot each time i forgot to capitalize it, too. You will be Dead by the end of the post, though.

[demibats]

been thinking about richbuisnessman!eddie and how he would spoil you with gifts and jewels and different types of jewelry and clothes and accessories until one day he decides to get you an anklet with his initials on it and you surprise him one day buy putting on the lingerie he bought you a few weeks ago and putting the anklet on and everytime he hears it jingle while he’s thrusting into you he gets harder and rougher until youre both wore out 🤭🤭been thinking about doing a short fic on this but i would die to see your spin on it 👻👻

MY MIND IS REELING HOLY HELL. so i def took some creative liberties with this one because i wanted to stay true to eddie’s character, so in regards to him being a rich business man, i changed it just a bit 🤭 this has also been sitting in my ask box for probably near a year, but here ya go!!! changed it juuuuust slightly bc i believe that eddie munson is an absolute munch and eats pussy for his won pleasure. enjoy!

content warnings; smut (if you're under 18, do not interact!), fem terms and anatomy used, oral (f!receiving), eddie eating pussy because he loooooves it (and yes this needs it own tag), slight dom/sub dynamics, use of 'sir' as an honorific toward eddie

Eddie Munson is a modest man. With a wallet and dick that fat, you're surprised. Most men would be shouting from the rooftops of their penthouses that they're loaded, throwing hundreds at the dozen strippers they order every other friday night, just because they can.

But Eddie Munson isn't like that at all.

He doesn't live in some monstrous mansion or picturesque penthouse, he doesn't own six cars or a private jet. He isn't the kind of man to have a different girl in his bed every night, ones that really are only interested in him for his money. He's always been a gentleman and shot them down politely, but still met with a drink being thrown in his face or some uncalled for insult.

When you met him, he didn't give any indication that he had money. He wore a faded Dio shirt tucked into a pair of black slacks and a matching suit jacket. His thick fingers had scuffed silver rings, one for almost each of them. He had the most unruly curls you'd ever seen on a man. He flashed you a smile from your spot behind the bar, a toothpick hanging from the side of his mouth as he raised his glass in your direction, the men around him making comments about his boldness. From that moment forward, you were mesmerized.

The most difficult part about being romantically involved with him, was the gifts you'd receive from him. Eddie was very straight-foward with his wealth, he told you on your first date, to the exact same bar you tended. He told you he had toured with local bands from his hometown as an instrument and audio visual engineer. He made calls to different tour and musician managers to see if he would be able join their road crew. After a few years of life on the road, he managed to open up his own music shop. That's when the big bucks started flowing.

Despite knowing that he has more than enough money to spoil you with, you're still bashful and hesitant about accepting them. Hell, when he asked you to move in with him, you declined it almost immediately, not wanting to seem like you were financially leaning on him in any way. Even after you began living together, you maintained a 40-hour work week at the bar for some time.

The first gift, more like gifts, were beautiful bouquets of flowers he'd bring home to you. You'd be at home, curled up into the couch cushions with a paperback folded in your hands and in comes your darling boyfriend, ringed fingers curled around the green stems of another bouquet. Every Monday, he comes home from work with a fresh bouquet to replace your old ones. "To cure your Monday Blues, dollface," he'd say.

Then came the clothes. Every weekend he offered to take you shopping, saying something along the lines of, "Maybe we'll find something from one of those magazines you seem to actually read." Within the first month of living together, your portion of your shared closet took up the most space, at least a 3/4 ratio.

You feel beyond special, never taking his gifts for granted, especially since you're more than aware he knows he doesn't have to. He always tries to play it off, explaining how gift giving is just his love language. You might actually believe him, considering he gets his friends outrageous gifts as well, but it's different with you. There's a dark glimmer in his eyes when you tear back the paper encasing your newest present from your beloved.

Behind a deep maroon wrapping paper, lies a small white box. The name across the top of the box in golden script is of a jewelry shop you recognize. And it's not a cheap shop either. Lifting the lid off the box, your eyes flick up to meet Eddie, who's smirking, arms folded over his chest while a hand cradles his chin.

Once the gift has been revealed, a small gasp escapes from parted lips. It's a dainty anklet, sterling silver. As you lift the jewelry up by careful fingers, you notice the hanging letters. A less-than-subtle 'EM' charm hanging from it. It's also in a script font, making the 'E' look like a backwards '3'. A small gemstone sets between the initials, a beautiful cut ruby.

To say it's beautiful is an understatement. It's gorgeous, only something that Eddie Munson himself would think to be a perfect fit for his sweetheart. "Whaddya think?" He asks, though he already knows how you feel, more than confident at his gift-giving abilities.

"Eds, I love it. It's perfect, thank you," you chide, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips as another form of 'thank you.'

It isn't until Eddie decides that the two of you are going on vacation in Santorini that you ever really wear it. It's too ornate for every day wear, and a small part of you fears that it'll somehow slip or snap off and you'll have lost it.

Laid out on a reclining beach chair, you're soaking up the midday Grecian sun, shades perched atop the bridge of your nose and a mimosa in hand. The rental Eddie snagged for your two-week excursion was straight from a resort advertisement. The modern advancements made were stunning, but the architecture was true the city. You'd never imagined being sprawled out in front of a heated pool overlooking the beautiful seaside.

Aside from one of the many bikinis you packed for the trip and your sunglasses, you only had on the dainty anklet purchased by your lover. It settled against your skin and caught the sun's rays, making it shine.

"Look at you," you hear Eddie from over your shoulder. You hadn't heard him come outside, but the soft breath against the side of your neck made you jump, "spoiled rotten."

You can't help but snicker at his comment. He had made you this way with his expensive gifts, how could he judge? You decide to lean into this role of the 'spoiled rotten brat' he so lovingly teased you with, "What could you possibly want that's more important than me enjoying the sun?"

He knows better than to take the comment seriously, a small smirk tugging at his lips as he stands up from his crouched position, stepping to stand in front of the sun, "Wanna run that by me again, sweetheart?"

You see him now, in all his glory. Long curls pulled back into a bun, strands creeping out from either movement or humidity, you aren't sure. A pair of black swim trunks hang off his hips and a Metallica muscle tank has been pulled over his tattooed torso, the ink etched into his arms still exposed. Good enough to eat.

Pushing your shades up on top of your head, you roll eyes at him once they're visible, "Ugh, you're blocking the sun, Eddie."

The metalhead raises his hands in defeat, a small smile on his features as he steps to the side, allowing the sun to once again be soaked up into your pores, "Alright, alright. No need to get feisty. Come inside for a while, I made lunch."

Even though you felt assured you'd won whatever playful battle was at hand, you weren't sure you were ready to drop the facade. Though, you were getting hungry, and if Eddie cooked? Your mouth watered at the thought.

"Fine. But because I'm hungry, not because you asked." You taunt as you swing your legs off the chair's recline, sliding your feet into your sandals.

Following him inside, he opens the sliding glass door for you, like the perfect gentleman he's always been, before following you through the threshold, sliding it shut behind him.

As the two of you enter the kitchen, your eyes land on the empty stove and countertops, eyebrows knit together in confusion, "Eddie, you said you-"

You're cut off by Eddie's fingers digging into your hip, backing you up against the marble counter top. Lifting your gaze up to his, the breath is nearly sucked out of you at his imposing stance in front of you, "I might've told a white lie," he mumbles, eyes glued to where his hand meets your flesh. His fingers slide underneath the thin band to your bottoms before allowing it to snap against your skin, "but then again, your attitude needs an adjustment."

Even with his tone bordering on mean, he leans in and catches your lips in a passionate kiss, taking his time. He can taste the freshly squeezed orange juice on your tongue. A firm, tattooed hand stays at your hip, holding you in place as your arms slink around his neck. With both his kiss and touch still relatively gentle, the thoughts that you're able to process are that he'll remain stern with you, but not unreasonable.

The brunette brings his kiss to your neck, down to your collarbone, traveling lower and lower until he reaches your navel. Glossy brown orbs lock onto yours as he slides the bottoms of your swimsuit down your legs.

"Don't cum until I say so," he states, his tone brokering no room for argument, "Got it?"

You nod, hands already white-knuckling against the edge of the counter, "yes..."

"Yes what?" he questions as he brings your ankles out of the fabric, eye catching that gorgeous anklet.

"Yes sir," you breathe, head lulling back, shoulders slumping already at the thought of his face buried between your thighs.

He carefully brings your thigh over his shoulder, one hand gripping the flesh there while the other has a determined hold on your opposite hip. Before another word can be passed between the two of you, his face is pressed to your core, tongue flattening out to lick a slow stripe between your folds. Although he's taking his time, listening intently to every sound you make, no matter how quiet, he's relentless. Tongue dipping into your weeping hole, his nose catching on your clit every so often. He's tuned in with your body, it's subtle movements, the noises you make and what the different sounds mean. You couldn't derail his focus if you tried.

Your fingers weave through his umber tresses even with it being tied back with an elastic, "Oh fuck..."

He devours you, laps at the liquid arousal trickling out, the noises caused by his actions utterly obscene. Wet, slurping and sucking noises mixed with your combined moans were a perfect melody to him. Something he'd listen to every day in his headphones, on repeat, without pausing. He shifts his eyes up, his gaze burning the image of your shallow breath matched with the swift rise and fall of your chest to memory.

The grip you have on his hair only spurs him on, especially when you tighten it. Calloused hands drag down your thighs, keeping them settled at both sides of his head like a pair of noise-cancelling headphones. He feels the soft bite of cold metal against his back, then remembers the anklet. Popping off of your dripping cunt, his chin glistening in your arousal, he brings his your thigh off of his shoulder and brings his hand down to your ankle, fingers delicately tracing over the thin metal chain.

You offer a soft whimper at the loss of contact, half-lidded eyes locked onto his figure, "Wha.. Why'd you stop?"

Cocking his head to the side, he taps the pad of his index finger against the jewelry dangling off your ankle, "Just... admiring the leash you so willingly wear." He coos, the words filled with lust.

He dives back in, bringing both thighs onto his shoulders, face snugly between them. He doesn't relent until you're arching your back, shuddering with every flick of his tongue. Even then, he's still not satisfied, and neither of you. You're on the cusp of your orgasm, trying to let Eddie know, but he just gives three gentle taps to your hip and a disapproving grunt. His words ring in your ears, Don't cum until I say so ... Got it?

Just as you're sure you can't hold out on him any longer, he mumbles 'you can cum, sweetheart,' against your mound, then goes right back to his assault on your clit. You spasm, thighs clenched around his head to the point you're sure he can't breathe, orgasm tearing through your body like a ripcord. He slowly brings the aggressive flicks of his tongue to a stop once you're whimpering, out of breath, sensitivity having taken a strong hold on you.

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, staying knelt between your legs as you catch your breath and return from the astral plane and back into your body. Though, he can't help but sneak glances at the silver anklet, and the 'EM" charm hanging off of it.

thank you for reading xx.

[mpileons]

behind the goal posts | alexia putellas x reader

> chapter two

A/N: this is the first fic ive written in a while so bare w/ me as i get back into the motion of writing :) also construction criticism & suggestions are always welcome <3

+ this going to be a multi chapter story, please patient w me and ill try to make it worth your while :,)

—

Summary: Everyone knows Alexia Putellas. Star football player and the face of Barcelona. However, what they don’t know is that she is been in a secret relationship for years, and that relationship is slowly slipping out of her hands.

Word Count: 1.9K

Chapter 1

A Year Ago —

It all started on a regular Wednesday, I was getting ready for my morning shift at Lever & Bloom. It was all very normal, I woke up extremely late as per usual, and had to rush out of my apartment complex without doing my hair or my makeup which was once again, per usual.

As 10am hit, I was getting into the motion of making drinks and chatting with customers. Although being a barista is quite a mundane job, I thoroughly enjoy every part of it, especially talking with the regulars and forming those relationships that never fail to bring a smile to my face. As I went to take my break, I saw a distinct blonde head of hair enter the cafe premises. Everytime she enters the cafe (which is very often) my intrigue seems to rise more and more. She seems to always come in at 11 on the dot, every weekday. Not that I’m keeping track or anything. Definitely not. Conveniently, as she goes to the counter I decide to save my break for later. Definitely not anything to do with her.

"One large ic-" The tall blonde starts to speak, but I'm quick to interrupt her. "A large iced americano with an extra shot of espresso, I know, it's coming right up," I say, a small smile creeping onto my face. I turn to see the same expression reflected on her face, a shared moment of understanding passing between us.

For some reason, I feel an impulse I can't ignore. With nervous yet hopeful determination, I grab a napkin and hastily scrawl down my number along with her order. With trembling hands, I slide the napkin across the counter, our fingers brushing for a fleeting moment, sending a jolt of electricity through me.

"Thanks," she murmurs, her voice soft and tinged with warmth as she takes the napkin. I watch her as she takes a seat by the window, her eyes fixed on her phone as she waits for her drink.

My heart starts to pound in my chest, anticipation mingling with apprehension. What if she doesn't text? What if I completely misread everything?

I push all the thoughts out of my head as I prepare her iced americano, my hands tremble slightly, betraying the calm facade I try to maintain around her. When it's ready, I take a deep breath and walk over to her table, setting the drink down with a shaky hand.

"Here you go," I say, my voice barely above a whisper, hoping she can't hear the rapid thumping of my heart that I'm sure is about to explode.

"Thanks again," she replies, flashing me a dazzling smile that sets my heart aflutter. And then, to my surprise and delight, she adds, "By the way, I'm Alexia."

The sound of her name sends a shiver down my spine, and I can't help but return the gesture. "Nice to meet you, Alexia. I'm Y/N," I say, hoping she can't hear the increasingly rapid thumping of my heart.

We exchange a few more words before I have to return to my duties behind the counter, but her presence lingers in my mind long after she leaves. And as the days turn into weeks and then months, we start to form somewhat of a routine that consists of Alexia coming to get coffee every weekday morning, some light-hearted flirting, then I constantly think about her until I see her the next day.

Present Day –

The soft chime of the café's door announces Alexia's arrival, as it does every weekday morning. My heart skips a beat at the sight of her, as it usually does, alongside a familiar pang of longing mixed with resentment tightening in my chest. I watch as Alexia approaches the counter, a radiant smile gracing her lips.

"Hey, Y/N," Alexia greets, her voice warm and inviting.

"Hey," my tone lacking its usual warmth. I start to busy myself with preparing Alexia's usual order, my movements stiff and mechanical. Whether Alexia is paying attention to these details or not is completely lost on me.

As I hand Alexia the cup, our fingers almost touch but Alexia pulls away quickly, further spiralling my conflicting emotions.

"Thanks," Alexia says with a tight smile.

I somehow manage to force a smile in return, but it feels hollow, fake. As Alexia takes her usual seat by the window, her attention is focused on her phone. The sight stirs a flicker of jealousy within me, a bitter unwanted reminder of the countless admirers vying for Alexia's attention.

The minutes tick by, each one stretching out into what seems like an eternity as I try to manage my emotions. I want to reach out to Alexia, to tell her how I am truly feeling, but the words stay stuck in my throat, still suffocated by the weight of the secret I have no choice but to keep.

As Alexia finishes her drink and prepares to leave, my resolve quickly crumbles. "Alexia, wait," I blurted out, cringing at how my voice is tinged with obvious desperation.

Alexia turns to me, concern flashing in her eyes. "Is everything okay babe?"

I start to hesitate, my heart pounding like an alarm in my chest. I try to open my mouth to speak, but the words elude me.

"Never mind," I murmur, forcing a weak smile. "Just... take care, okay?"

Alexia's brow furrows in confusion, but she nods, concern etched into her features. "You too, Y/N."

As Alexia leaves the café, I am left alone with my thoughts, the weight of secrecy pressing down on me like a suffocating blanket. I begin to wonder how much longer I can keep up the charade, how much longer I can pretend that everything is okay when it's anything but.

I return back to the counter with my heart pounding like a drum inside my chest and my thoughts racing. As the day drags on and my return back to Alexia and I’s shared apartment is approaching, I know something has to change. The weight of secrecy was slowly crushing me and if this goes on any longer, I do not know how much there will be left of our relationship to salvage, or if there will be anything left to salvage. Whether I had the courage to confront this and risk the comfort we had built is another story.

10 Months Ago —

My phone flashes with a message as I am sitting at my desk pouring over textbooks.

Alexia: Be ready at 6, dress comfortably.

As I went to respond, I couldn't hide the bright grin growing on my face. Ever since that day two months ago, Alexia and I had been texting nonstop, talking about anything, everything and all that's in between. I couldn't help but feel as if the universe had dropped a gift into my lap. Alexia was unbelievably attentive and rather charming, further adding to my ever growing feelings for her. As we kept talking nonstop, we found that we were completely different. She's a professional footballer, I do not know a singular thing about football. I study film with a minor in astronomy, she is not very well versed in either of those. However, we are similar in every aspect that matters. Although I couldn't shake the feeling that this was all too good to be true, she is undeniably attractive, charming, funny, the list goes on and on. Why would she settle for an overworked university student with a mundane part time job?

I push all those thoughts away for later as I start to get ready, considering this will be our first date, if it even is a date. I needed to be prepared, but not too prepared.

Hours pass and I am now in Alexia's car as music softly plays from the console and her hand is lightly resting on my thigh, as if it was always meant to be there.

“Pretty pleasee just tell me where we’re going” I turn to her with the biggest puppy dog eyes, which seem to not work as she just chuckles and shakes her head. “We’re almost there, just a little patience baby” She murmurs and kisses my hand as a way of apologising.

Alexia starts to put the car into park and quickly leaves the car to open my door, ever the gentlewoman. She intertwines her hand with mine as she leads me into a very familiar building. “Uhm Alexia, why are we at the astronomy club?” I look to her with a very confused frown as she looks to me with the softest smile that completely melts my heart, “I got us tickets to a private rooftop stargazing event hosted by a local astronomy club” She speaks with excitement lacing every word, she couldn't even get the words out before I jump into her arms and squeeze her into the tightest hug known to man as a way to try show a glimmer of the feelings taking over my heart due to her unexpected attentiveness. She just smiles at me and gently kisses my forehead as if I am the softest thing in the world, I think I will just melt into a puddle of gush right then and there because of all her actions.

She once again takes my hand as we ascend the stairs to the rooftop, my heart races with excitement and anticipation. The night sky stretches out above creating a vast canvas of twinkling stars and constellations.

Upon reaching the rooftop, we’re greeted by a cosy setup complete with blankets, pillows, and telescopes. Soft music plays in the background, a realisation hits me suddenly. This is the song that was playing when I gave Alexia my number two months ago. The pure amount of consideration, care and thought that Alexia put into this date is making my eyes water, Alexia takes notice of this and immediately comes to engulf me with a hug as she lightly peppers kisses on my head. How did I get so lucky?

She starts to lead me, according to her, to the prime stargazing spot. She snakes her hands around my waist as her chin rests in the crook between my shoulder and neck while I peer through the telescope. “Alexia, you need to see this!” I excitedly tell her but to my surprise she shakes her head “I’d rather stay here with you” I turn to her with the biggest grin as I kiss her cheek and tell her various stories about all the constellations.

As the night wears on, we find ourselves lost in each other's company, our laughter mingling with the soft strains of music and the rustle of the night. With each passing moment, my heart swells more and more with a sense of warmth and belonging, a feeling I had never imagined I could find in another person.

And as the night starts to draw to a close, Alexia leans in, her movements slow and deliberate, as if savouring every moment leading up to the kiss. As I was thinking that the anticipation was going to be the death of me, I felt the warmth of Alexia's breath against my skin as our lips meet in a tender embrace, the world falling away, leaving only the sensation of Alexia's lips against mine, incredibly soft and inviting. My fingers instinctively tangle in Alexia's hair, pulling her as close to me as humanly possible. In that fleeting moment, everything feels right in the world.

[ilwonuu]

𖥔 ͙ࣳ hate the club. k. mingyu

this fic is inspired by this song so pls listen to it <333

“tired of going out, scared ill run into you”

“damn you know i hate the club, but i came cuz i know you’d show up”

summary 𖡼 your friend group goes out every friday. you never feeling up to joining them. you always find an excuse not to come. but now you’re sitting at home with nothing to do. so why not drink a little and hangout with your friends at the club?? what could go wrong? seeing your ex could definitely happen..

warnings- ex to lovers!!, alcohol consumption, smut with semi plot. switch!mingyu, switch!reader, oral sex f.receiving, fingering, riding, pet names- baby,princess,unprotected sex(don’t do it), creampie, multiple orgasms, lmk if i missed anything pls<3

authors note- i read over this like once so if theres any spelling or grammar errors pls let me know!!! i hope u guys love this i loved writing it!!!!

you feel bored with no company tonight. not loving the presence of nothing of your apartment and stuff animals as you usually do. sending seungkwan a quick text telling him you’ll be joining him, seokmin, and chan tonight. getting a sassy text back as usual

kwannie😓- what the fuck. girl don’t play????

kwannie😓- u better not be lying because seokmin and chan are actually gonna be the death of me.

kwannie😓- be ready at 9 ok.

you- im not kidding hoe and yes i am already ready ish???

kwannie😓- ok ill be there at 9 😘😘😘

you smile to yourself continuing to get ready. checking to see if you have a good amount of time to finish your hair. happy to see you have enough time with it only being 8:15.

finishing everything you need to do finally making your way outside after getting a text from seungkwan saying that they have arrived. walking to his car somewhat nervous about what the night has in store for you. you never know you could meet someone? or see someone you absolutely hate.

getting into the car immediately being greeted by your best friends. “y/n!!!! i feel like im seeing a ghost you never fucking leave your house” chan says laughing causing you to send him a glare. “shush be happy im here for once okay”

“no seriously i thought my eyes were deceiving me when i read your text” seungkwan says quickly starting to head to the club they always go to. “ok guys thats enough let her live she doesn’t have to come out with us every time.” seokmin says giving you a slight smile.

“thank you seokmin. the only one who appreciates me” “okay but yes of course she doesn’t have to come out everytime. but she doesn’t come out anytimes!!! this is her first time in like 10 years” chan says laughing with seungkwan as he also finds chans joke hilarious. causing them both to receive a glare.

“very funny chan!!! i will get out of the car and walk back home.” you say looking at him threatening him playfully. “you’re dramatic” kwan says finally pulling into the parking lot of the club.

“im also very nervous to be here.” “if we see anyone we don’t like it’ll be fine y/n we don’t have to interact or anything” chan says knowing exactly who you were thinking of getting out of the car having the rest of you follow his lead into the club.

“yea you’re right..” you say slowly walking behind them into the loud crowd of people dancing. “ok first things first drinks!!!!” seungkwan yells dragging you all to the bar. chan seokmin order vodka shots happily, quickly running to dance in the crowd of people. “can we just get two shots of tequila each?” seungkwan asks for the both of you. smiling at the bartender when his drinks are set in front of you two. “okay lets drink these then lets dance!!!” seungkwan smiles at you quickly taking his shots now waiting for you to do the same.

you nervously take the shots making a grossed out face after downing it with a sip of water. seungkwan pulling you towards the crowd as soon as you were ready shortly finding seokmin and chan. “how do you guys get drunk so fast?” you laugh at seokmin and chan completely lost in the song dancing dramatically. “they are fucking lightweights” seungkwan says causing you both to laugh at them.

“i fucking wish. i only feel a little tipsy” you say scanning around the club with your eyes. “do you want to get more drinks or wait a bit then??” seungkwan asks while pulling you close to dance with him. “nah we can wait” you say over the loud music.

you are really trying to have a good time but this isnt really your thing. you were hoping that the drinks would losen your nerves up a little bit but you were so wrong. now you are dancing completely soberly with seungkwan. trying not to ruin your best friends night. “im gonna go to the bathroom real fast kwannie” you whisper to him before disappearing to find the bathroom. you quickly use the bathroom heading back over to the bar to get a couple more shots. “fuck why did i do this to myself” you say under your breath quickly downing the shots without water this time. feeling a little better making your way back into the crowd searching for any of the three boys you arrived with.

pushing through the crowd trying to find them. you accidentally push someone a little to hard quickly going to apologize. “i am s-so sorry.” you say realizing exactly who you bumped into having them turn and look down at you. “jesus you push fucking h-“ mingyu immediately freezes after seeing you. “fuck y/n? what are you doing here?”

“well this is a public place and a club so i would assume we’re here for the same reason.” you say sarcastically while trying to push past him. “well what are you doing by yourself?” he asks concerned stopping your movements. “where is seungkwan?” he looks around the club quickly scanning seeing if he sees anyone who looks like the boy. “well actually im not sure so if you’ll excuse me i will be continuing to look for my friends.” you say finally trying to push past him again.

“wait just let me help you look for them. it’s kinda depressing being here alone.” he says once again finally letting you push past him to continue looking. he follows behind you slowly. “so uh how have you been?” you scoff stopping to look at him. “are you serious right now? i really would rather not pretend to like you right now okay? just help me find seungkwan and then you can go back to whatever you were doing.”

you say sighing going back to looking for you friends. mingyu doesn’t say another word and just follows you quietly. “why don’t you call him?” he suggests. “i left my phone in seungkwans car like the bright fucking person i am.” you say getting more annoyed as the situation goes on.

“shit you wanna use my phone then? i still have his number from you know..” he says nervously handing you his phone after clicking on seungkwans contact. “y-yea thanks” you take his phone letting the memories wash over you. you patiently wait as the phone starts to ring and shortly someone picks up. “seungkwan??? where did you fucking go??” you are now getting more uncomfortable with the fact that you lost all of them in the span of 10 mins. “um what the fuck mingyu you sound like y/n also why the hell are you calling me?” seungkwan slurs over the phone questioning you. “seungkwan ur drunk. also this is fucking y/n im using mingyus phone dumbass!!” your voice sounding annoyed more now. “girl what? why are you using his phone? are you guys…? um back together?” he asks loud enough for both you and mingyu to hear.

you sigh looking at mingyus eyes go wide at what he just heard. “s-seungkwan can you just fucking tell me where you went? you know what fuck it im just gonna get an uber home okay im tired.” you say slightly tearing up at the stressful situation. “we just went to the bar upstairs y/n. are you sure you wanna leave already we’ve only been here for like an hour.”

seungkwan asks through the phone sensing that something is wrong. “do you want me to send seokmin with you? he said he will come with you.” he offers. “kwannie its fine ill just order it off mingyu’s phone. will you just drop off my phone tmr? i left it in your car.” you say finally after ending the call after hearing his okay.

“mingyu do you mind if i use your phone to order a uber?” you turn to mingyu hoping he will say yes. “yes of course y/n. but you don’t need to do that. cheol said he was here to pick up me and shua but im guessing shua is with some girl so cheol can just drop you off.” he says smiling at you. “okay um let me make sure i have my keys and fuck i don’t they are also in seungkwans car.” you say realizing as you feel your pockets. “wanna just stay at my place tonight?” he blurts out quickly. “mingyu- i- what?” now your confused, tired, and annoyed. “just come sleep at my place. its not that weird y/n. what’s the chance seungkwan is gonna come unlock his car rn? come on i’ll drop you off in the morning i swear.” “its not weird to you? we haven’t spoke in like a year.”

this was not a great idea. you and mingyu ended on somewhat bad terms. he wasn’t willing to commit to you. he ended up treated you like shit because of it. you know this has nothing to do with what he asked but it’s obviously on your mind. you are now confused, tired, annoyed, and overwhelmed.

“y/n i kinda need a answer now. cheol is outside.” he says snapping you out of your thoughts and back into reality. “u-uh okay yea lets go” you say immediately regretting it. mingyu smiles grabbing your hand making the way out of the club to cheols car. quickly getting into the back seat.

“whats up mingyu. hey y/n. y/n????? oh shit hi” he says now realizing that is is actually you. “hello cheol nice to see you” you say softly laughing. “yea you too. um are you guys back together?” he asks out of the blue. “nope!!” you quickly say hoping he doesn’t ask anymore questions. “just drive cheol.” mingyu says and mentally thank him because cheol didn’t ask anymore questions driving silently. you two make it to mingyu’s house after a 10 minute car drive. “ah fucking finally these heels are literally the worst” you say walking into his house kicking them off as you go. “you can borrow some clothes. i think i even have your old pjs in my room.” he says taking off his shoes as well. “im surprised you even still have those.” you say making your way to his room. the memories coming back as you seen his room looks the same way it did when you guys were together. you grab the pajamas making your way to his bathroom quickly changing heading back into his living room. “you want to take my bed? i can sleep out on the couch.” he says throwing a pillow and blanket onto the couch. “no mingyu its fine i can take the couch. you can have your bed.” you say laughing at him slightly going to sit on the couch. “or you can sleep in my bed with me.” mingyu says looking at you cautiously. now leaving you pressured at what he is offering right now. “mingyu. what are you doing? you know that isn’t a good idea. we aren’t together anymore.” you say laying down getting comfortable. “i know we aren’t. but fuck y/n have you not been thinking about us at all? or anything that we had. i miss it. i miss you.”

you look at him with a blank expression. what the fuck do you say? of course you think about him and your relationship. more than you should. “mingyu i do okay. i never stopped really but im not in the mood to get hurt again okay.” “i fucking promise you i will never treat you the same way i did okay?” he moves to sit next to you on the couch moving to grab your hands. “let me make it up to you? let me show you i can be there for you. i want to be the boyfriend you deserve. will you just give me a chance?” you think for a couple seconds.

he seems genuine. you did miss him a lot. a chance doesn’t hurt right? “okay mingyu. i will sleep with you in your bed okay. but i swear if you do anything like how you did before the break-“ he kisses you softly shutting you up. “i promise.” he says holding his pinky up

you wrap your pinky around his smiling as he lifts you and carries you to his room. softly throwing you onto his bed and climbing next to you. “you don’t know how much i missed you. i thought i was never gonna see you again.”

“yep that was the plan until i saw you at the club.” you state not wanting to lie to him. “well im so glad i saw you.” you smile at him. “can i make it up to you? ill make you feel so good y/n if you let me please.” hes already begging and you guys haven’t even done anything but a kiss.

he was always like this. he would immediately get needy after one small touch. mingyu was definitely a fucking switch. most of the time he loved being in control and seeing you beg for him. but everyone knew mingyu always leaned towards the subby side. he will listen to your requests always. if you’re happy he’s happy.

you nod softly at him watching him quickly shift between your legs pull down your shorts and underwear in one swift movement. kissing up your thighs slowly making your breath hitch under his touch. “fuck you’re so wet and i haven’t even touched you baby.” slowly moving his fingers up your slit inserting a finger in. his fingers immediately hit your g-spot causing you to already squirm until his firm touch.

“fuck you’re so tight. i can barely move my finger babe.” watching you closely as he inserts a second and third finger quickly watching as you get wetter from his touch. “g-gyu please more i need more.” you beg him hoping to add something extra to get you closer to your high.

“shh baby let me take my time i promise you’ll get everything you need okay?” he says sweetly pulling his fingers out of you with the noise of your squelch filling the room. “you hear yourself baby? you’re making a mess on my bed already hm?” he coos at you shifting so that his head is in between your legs. gently grabbing your thighs to spread your legs. “i bet you taste as sweet as i remember hm? could eat you for fucking days.” he immediately dives into eating your pussy. licking your slit as he slides one of his fingers back inside you.

“g-gyu oh my god.” eyes rolled back having your back arched as he absolutely devours you roughly sucking your clit fucking his finger into you quicker. looking up at you through his eyelashes not stopping his movements. not even to praise you. he is too pussy drunk and doesn’t want to stop anytime soon. grabbing a hold of his hair pulling on it when his finger hits that spot again making you go crazy. “m-mingyu i’m gonna cum please don’t stop.” and he doesn’t he sucks on your clit harder keeping up his pace with his finger. you come all over his tongue and his fingers. fucked out completely as you watch mingyu lick up your cum and hum.

“you taste so sweet princess. fucking delicious baby.” he smiles at you again moving up to kiss your lips. tasting yourself on his lips.

“what do you want baby? i will give you anything you want.” pulling his shirt over his head looking at you waiting for your answer. “can i ride you? g-gyu please i need you so bad.” he nods quickly. “m’course you can” he moves so he’s sitting up against the headboard of the bed. watching as you move onto his lap.

you have never seen mingyu take his pants off quicker. immediately pulling his dick out pulling your face closer to peck your lips. smiling into the kiss lining up his dick with your entrance slowly sinking down onto him.

mingyu is always more subby with this position immediately begging and pleading for your touch. “f-fuck y/n please move i need it so bad please baby.” he begs you trying not to fuck his hips into you.

you slowly rock your hips into his moaning at the feeling holding onto his shoulders for support. “you’re so tight im gonna cum so quick. i-i’m fuck i’m sorry” grabbing ahold of your hips to move you quicker on him. “i’m so close baby fuck.” he says feeling you bouncing on his dick now trying to chase your own high. “m-me too.” he groans lowly feeling his dick twitch inside of you. “f-fuck can i cum inside or where do you want it?” “inside p-please.” he doesn’t have to be told twice immediately cumming inside of you throwing his head back lost in the intense pleasure

you don’t stop bouncing on him. “babe i’m so sensitive fuck.” he says to you still fucked out holding onto you.

you nod. “i know baby but please you can last a little longer right? for me right? my good boy.” you try to turn him on with your words knowing it will go straight to his dick. he moans at your words pulling you into a quick kiss. “y-yes i’m so good for you.”

you smile at him quickening your movements now really needing his shoulder for support as you feel yourself coming. “f-fuckkk look at you c-creaming on my cock oh shit im gonna cum again.” you feel his cum shoot immediately into you. moaning at the feeling riding out both of your highs.

slowly climbing off of his lap laying next to him. “i missed you so fucking much.” he says pulling you under the covers with him kissing your forehead. “i missed you too but i don’t miss how you think i just want to lay here feeling your cum leak out of me.” you say playfully shifting to show him the puddle that is now under your crotch.

“its fine baby we can shower in the morning. plus what if we fuck again. you’ll just be full of my cum again.” he says with a straight face. you roll your eyes burying your face into his neck.

“i guess we’ll have to explain to seungkwan and cheol why we told them we weren’t back together…” you think out loud before falling asleep in your boyfriends arms.

[xsaltburnx]

Hate or Love?

Farleigh Start + fem! reader

a/n: I really, really, really wanted to write this, I got a little bit carried away but I seriously enjoyed writing this so fucking much, I hope you'll like it, also I apologize for any grammar mistakes you may find in this

warning: 18+, just pure filth, handjob, degrading, Farleigh being a bottom, dom! reader, masturbation, swearing, P in V, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it)

word count: 4, 059

People always say there is a thin line between love and hate and one night you discovered how thin that line really is. 

You were walking down the long hallways of Saltburn estate, all of the lights dimmed, making it look a little bit spooky, the only thing bright enough to light up the rooms was the full moon out there shining through the large, floor to ceiling windows. You walked around quietly, tripping over your own two feet after you had a few drinks too much with Venetia down in the gardens, reminiscing about the past year. Everything around you was quiet, not even a sound of a fly in the air, only your footsteps, your heels digging into the hardwood floors echoing throughout the hall. You spun around a few times, just dancing to a familiar tune in your head, your eyes scanning the paintings on the walls. You laughed at yourself and realized how silly you probably look but who cares, it's not like anybody was around to observe what you were doing. 

You reached your room, your fingers wrapping around the doorknob when something else caught your attention. You walked closer to the door right next to your room and noticed how the doors were slightly ajar, a slight light shining through the gap. A quiet moan coming from the room was the thing that caught your attention and then a few seconds later another one. Your brows furrowed in confusion. You licked your lips and peeked through the gap, careful not to push the doors open and disturb whatever was on the other side of the door. And there he was. Farleigh Start with his head thrown back, his lips parted as his right hand worked slowly on his hard cock. You couldn't help but swallow hard at the sight of him, looking so vulnerable and desperate with his shirt off and his pants pushed down to his knees. His legs were slightly spread apart, a hint of sweat glistening on his chest, making it look like fucking glitter, the shine of the moon only enhancing that. He looked absolutely fucking etheral and you felt something in your stomach, something you've never felt before. 

Usually, you couldn't stand Farleigh. He was fucking annoying all the time, something about his snarky remarks made your blood boil and the way he always teased you had you going absolutely crazy. But this. This was something different. 

You watched as his head was thrown back in pleasure, his large hand wrapped around himself, skillfully working on his hard cock. He kept switching the pace between fast and slow. Everytime he started moving his hand slowly, his lips parted in pleasure and his moans were a lot louder, his hips jerking up looking for more friction, his cock looking to be buried in something tighter than just his hand. You felt your mouth water when you noticed how he picked up his pace, frantically sort of abusing his cock, wanting to feel that incredible euphoric, mind blowing orgasm he's been chasing for the last few minutes. You stepped a little bit closer, still very careful and then your legs felt like someone kicked you in the knees, your body tensing up as you choked on your own saliva. His cum shot out of him, all over his stomach as your name fell off his lips, his hand still massaging his cock. He stopped his movements and just let his hand drop down on the bed next to his body, his head still thrown back, his chest moving up and down heavily as he was trying to catch his breath. 

Was it always like that? The answer is yes. Farleigh had a thing for you. You've always seen him as someone who absolutely hated your guts and you hated him, but you would be lying if you said that you have never thought about what it would be like to have him buried deep inside of you, crying out his name, but based on this, you saw him as someone who would be crying out your name. 

You stepped back and walked quickly inside of your room, closing the doors behind you as you tried to catch your breath, the sight of Farleigh like that totally turning you on. You shook your head and took all your clothes off as you laid down on the bed, your clothes scattered on the floor. Your head was spinning so much and your mind was such a mess that the best thing to do was to just fall asleep. Maybe it was all a dream. 

That's what you thought when you woke up in the morning and put on your silky summer dress, wrapping two straps that were attached to it around your waist and tying them up into a bow. You tousled your hair a bit, trying to make it look presentable and headed downstairs and outside where you would be having your breakfast that day. Almost everybody was already outside, James and Elspeth the only ones missing from the table. There was Felix, Venetia and Oliver, Felix somehow already annoyed about something. The topic of the day? Oliver's birthday party. 

"So mum said there's going to be about 200 people at the party tonight." Venetia said, grabbing a spoonful of freshly cut fruit mixed with some yoghurt and placing it into her mouth, pieces of apples and grapes crunching underneath her teeth.

"Why so many? I don't even know that many people." Oliver trailed off, his voice weirdly sounding more innocent and almost child-like. 

"All your friends are definitely coming, the number just kept going up. Mum always has to be extra about this." Venetia took a chocolate croissant and took a bite out of it, her fingers squeezing it slightly.

"What friends?" Farleigh made another snarky remark, his eyes never leaving the paper in front of him, a cigarette in his one hand. He took a drag out of it and blew the smoke in the air as you watched him have that same judgy look on his face as always. That was definitely just a dream because just by looking at him made your blood boil. You scoffed at him and shook your head, making him look at you. 

"Typical." You just trailed off and took a sip of freshly squeezed orange juice.

"I'm sorry, do you have a problem with me?" Farleigh asked, his tone again so condescending, his eyes squinting a little bit.

"I don't know, do I?" You replied and licked your lips, a smirk plastered across your face.

Oliver interrupted but none of you looked at him. Your eyes were still glued on Farleigh and how he kept smoking and flipping through the newspaper, not even looking at it.

"C'mon guys, we were talking about the party, I think Oliver would love it if we stop with whatever this is and just focus on the party." Felix said and took off his glasses, placing them on the table next to his plate.

"I think Oliver would rather throw himself out of the window." A slight grin appeared on Farleigh's face but quickly disappeared, a cigarette between his fingers burning, getting smaller and smaller.

"Yeah, you would know, you get that feeling every fucking day." You mumbled but Farleigh heard you loud and clear and now he was the one who scoffed and rolled his eyes. Venetia groaned and threw her head back in frustration, dropping the croissant on her plate.

"Why can't you guys just fuck and get rid of all of this tension and save us all the fucking drama?" Venetia pointed at you and Farleigh, your eyes going as wide as they could at her comment.

"Yeah, no thanks. I would rather throw myself out of the window than do that." You trailed off and got up as you slowly walked away but managed to hear what Farleigh said.

"Fuck you."

"Yeah, you wish." You yelled and turned around on your heel, your dress lifting up slightly because of a slight summer breeze. You walked inside and rolled your eyes, your heart beating a little bit faster as you tried to calm down. Fucking Farleigh. He did make your blood boil like no other person has ever done before. Yeah, there were times where you could actually stand him but those were very rare. 

You spent the rest of the day walking around the house, reading a book or just watching tv, trying to avoid Farleigh but wherever you went, he was still somehow there, just silently walking past you or sitting on a chair behind you, looking at something on his laptop. You still couldn't stop thinking about last night. Was it just a dream or did that really happen? It seemed too vivid to be just a dream and you were sure you weren't that drunk. His moans and a picture of him laying on the bed like that was still in your head and it turned you on so damn much, you were ashamed to admit how much you wanted him. Just for a night. Maybe he wouldn't be so annoying and you could actually stand him. 

You got so lost in your own thoughts that you didn't even notice what time it was. You had to get ready for the party. 

When you walked outside, you couldn't believe how many people were attending this party, half of them probably not even knowing Oliver's name, let alone what the party was about and frankly you didn't even care. You walked around the gardens, a drink in your hand, the maze not that far from you. Some people bumped into each other, clearly already way too drunk to function properly and some walking confidently into the maze and you couldn't help but chuckle because you knew they would get lost in there and would probably need to call someone to come and get them. 

You tripped over your own feet, your heel digging into the ground, spilling a little of that delicious red colored drink you had in your hand. You stopped in your tracks and turned around, a tall figure standing behind you, leaning against the pole with a horse mask on their head. A familiar laugh echoed inside the mask, a smirk appearing on your face when you realized who it was.

"Hello Farleigh." You muttered and crossed your arms, your body facing him.  He removed his mask and placed it under his armpit, holding it with his arm tight to his body.

"How did you know it was me?" He asked and leaned forward, his teeth pulling on his bottom lip. His familiar scent invaded your nostrils and you noticed how his hair looked way fluffier than usual, probably because of the mask.

"It's actually very easy, there's not a lot of douchebags around here, at least I haven't seen any up until now." You trailed off and took a sip of your drink, your hand on your hip as you leaned towards him a little bit.

"God, you really do hate me, don't you?" He asked, slight amusement in his voice, his eyes looking a little bit darker or maybe you were drunk already and everything seemed different. God, he smelled fenomenal.

"I don't hate you. I just don't particularly like you or be in your presence in general." His brows furrowed but for only a second as he started laughing and crossed his arms, placing them on his chest. He stepped closer, now completely towering over you, his height still surprising you after years of knowing him. He looked down at you, your bodies only inches apart and for some reason he made you nervous. 

"That's sort of the definition of hate. You're no picnic either, baby." He leaned down, his eyes now level with yours, his breath hot on your face. He smelled of mint and cigarettes, like always but this time mixed with something else, which you couldn't quite determine what it was. "But as much as you say you hate me, I know you want me." He whispered in your ear and then again leaned back, again towering over you.

"What?" You asked loudly, a confused look plastered all over your face. There was that cocky and confident attitude he always carried so proudly and that was exactly why he made your blood boil. 

"If you want me to fuck you, you can just ask, I would gladly do it." 

"I'd rather drink bleach. Baby." You mocked him at the end, imitating the way he previously said "baby". Now you were the one who stepped closer, your head leaned back a little bit, your eyes glued on his. "And it seemed last night that you were very desperate for me to fuck you. Not the other way around." 

You saw his eyes go wide as he stepped back, almost tripping. You chuckled at his reaction and picked up the mask he dropped down next to his feet, the feeling of satisfaction basically radiating out of your body. He swallowed hard and suddenly went shy, unsure how to react to what you just told him. 

"What? Nothing happened last night." 

"Sure, baby. I have to go now, but you know where to find me." You winked at him and left him like that, befuddled, completely lost in his own world. It might've been a cheap shot but two can play this game and he seemed a little bit too cocky for someone who got knocked down with just one sentence, suddenly looking smaller than a grain of sand. Maybe that's why you haven't seen Farleigh for the rest of the night. That was kind of strange since he was sort of a real party animal. Where there's alcohol and drugs, there was Farleigh. But not this time. 

Some idiot spilled beer on your dress, the smell being so overwhelming that you had to change immediately. You walked through the crowded hallways of Saltburn, walking past people making out, even fucking where everyone could see but I guess they didn't care. You carried your heels in your hand as you opened your bedroom door and walked inside, dropping the heels down on the ground. 

You unzipped your dress and let it fall down, now pooling around your feet as you stepped out of it, kicking it with your one foot and throwing it across the room. You opened your closet to find something else to wear but then you heard something shuffle and you quickly turned around only to find Farleigh's eyes glued to your half naked body.

"What the fuck Farleigh?!" You exclaimed, but didn't even try to cover yourself. You stood confidently in front of him, his eyes scanning you from head to toe as you watched him swallow hard. "What are you doing in my room?"

"What did you hear last night?" His voice was low and somehow more gentle than it usually is. He almost looked innocent and not that intimidating anymore, a child-like presence in him. 

"Oh nothing much." You trailed off and walked slowly towards him until you were completely glued to his warm body. His shirt was unbuttoned half way down, his chest exposed to your eyes. "But it was nice to hear my name falling off your lips so beautifully and so desperate when you finally came all over your chest." You trailed your fingers over his chest, drawing invisible circles before you lowered your hand right to where his belt was sitting. 

"You weren't supposed to hear that. I was just-" 

"I know." You interrupted him. "But I thought you hated me." You trailed off, your fingers now unbuckling his belt, pulling it off his pants in one swift motion. 

"I do hate you." He whispered and parted his lips, his hot breath washing over your face as you unbuttoned his pants, revealing only his boxers. You snaked your hand inside his boxers, gently grabbing his cock and then slightly grazing it with your nails. You watched his lips part even more, a very quiet moan escaping his lips. 

"This doesn't seem like you hate me, Farleigh." You pushed his pants down along with his boxers, exposing his bottom half to the chilly air inside your room. You spit down on your palm and then wrapped your fingers around his now semi-hard cock and started moving your hand up and down gently, barely even squeezing him.

"If you want me to fuck you, just say it." You whispered and picked up your pace, this time wrapping your hand around him a little bit more and tighter, your thumb grazing his tip slightly.

"Do you want me to fuck you, Farleigh?" You whispered and now only focused on his tip, his hips jerking up into your hand, obviously looking for more friction. 

"No." He practically whimpered, his chest now heavily moving, his breath hitching in his throat everytime you squeezed his cock a little bit more and grazed his tip, his cock now rock hard in the palm of your hand.

"Are you sure?" He leaned his head down, his forehead now resting on top of your head, his whimpers a little bit louder as each second passed. You picked up your pace even more, his hand suddenly grabbing your shoulder, looking for some stability because his legs  suddenly started feeling like jello. 

"Fuck." He groaned out loud, his head now thrown back in pleasure, his eyes closed shut, his hips now also moving back and forth with the movements of your hand. "I'm so close." 

You smirked, the satisfaction pooling out of your body. You knew what you were doing and right when he started whimpering even more, you knew that he was close and that's when you stopped what you were doing and removed your hand, his body almost falling forward. You stepped back and licked your hand, your tongue swirling around your fingers, a hint of his pre cum on the tips of your fingers. 

"Why did you do that?" He cried out in frustration, his cock standing straight and up towards his stomach, his body shaking in frustration. 

"Well you said you don't want me to fuck you. That's exactly what I'm doing." You sat down on one of the chairs in your room and crossed your legs, a sight of Farleigh standing like that in your room, with his pants halfway down, so desperate for your touch made you feel way too confident.

"Please touch me like that again, I'll do anything you want." He whimpered and pushed his pants down, completely taking them off. He stood like that for a few minutes and you couldn't stop looking at him. All this time you thought Farleigh was this dominating, take whatever he wants man, but in reality he was a complete opposite of that. Now that turned you on even more. Because it took you so long and because the only thing you did was stare at him, he looked down, looking almost defeated and just sat down on your bed.

You chuckled and finally got up as you walked towards him. You placed your finger under his chin and lifted his head up, locking your eyes with his. 

"Move back." You commanded and he obeyed like the good boy he is. He laid down on the bed, his head resting on one of your pillows as you towered over him. You did the same thing as before, spit down on your palm and wrapped your hand around his cock and started playing with him again, moving your hand at a fast pace, this time from the beginning. You watched his brows furrow and lips part again in pleasure, his whimpers loud when he was close but before he reached his orgasm, you removed your hand from his cock again, earning another cry from him. 

"Please let me cum. I want to cum." He whimpered, his voice cracking and you swore you saw tears in his eyes, clearly because of how desperate he was for his release, but you couldn't give him that just yet. 

"Is that all you want Farleigh?" You asked quietly, your fingers drawing invisible circles on the tip of his cock, now very dark pink and way more sensitive than before. A thick vein spread from his tip to his pelvis, his cock rock hard and desperate for more friction, to have something tight wrapped around him. 

"Yes." He answered quickly.

"Are you sure?" You squeezed his cock again, his hips jerking up one more time. 

"Please fuck me. Please." He cried out, his hands grabbing your hips, trying to pull you closer, to touch you in any way, scared that you were going to leave him like this. You unhooked your bra and threw it down on the floor, your top half now completely exposed to him. You straddled him and moved your panties to the side, your fingers wrapping around his cock as you guided him and slowly sat down on his cock, letting him fill you up to the brim. 

You moaned out, the feeling of him buried inside you even better than you have ever imagined, but what you liked even more was how his face looked. His eyes halfway closed, his teeth pulling down on his bottom lip, trying to hide his whimpers but that was something he just couldn't do because everytime you sunk down onto him, the moans he let out louder and louder until he couldn't handle it anymore. 

"Is this what you wanted? You wanted me to fuck you like this?" You wrapped your hand around his and lifted them up above his head, your hips switching between grinding and lifting your hips up only to meet his at a fast pace.

"Fuck, yes, please, please make me cum!" He started thrusting his hips up, his tip hitting that sweet spot inside of you, your orgasm slowly building inside of you but you had a different plan for now, you wanted to make Farleigh cum first, but not just yet. 

You pulled your off him again, denying him of yet another orgasm, Farleigh now practically crying as you saw a single tear roll down his cheek. 

"Don't cry, baby." You whispered and smiled at him as you crouched above him again, his cock nestling inside your tight walls again, a loud whimper falling off his lips again. You started jumping on top of him at a faster pace, the palm of your one hand resting on his chest and supporting your body while the other made small circles on your clit, your orgasm building up in the pit of your stomach once more. 

"Please let me cum, I'll be good, don't stop, please!" He threw his head back, another tear rolling down his cheek from the overstimulation and desperation, his large palms now glued to your thighs, his fingers digging into your flesh.

"Are you gonna cum?" You moaned out, your inner walls slowly clenching around his thick cock. "Look at you being a pretty little slut for me." 

" Yes! Please!" He screamed out as you felt his hot sperm shoot inside of you, filling you up with everything he had, but you didn't stop just yes. You kept moving your hips, fucking yourself on his cock as you felt your orgasm slowly spread all around your body, the euphoric feeling almost too much to handle. 

You stilled your hips and let your body fall on top of him, your head resting on his chest as you felt his heart beating so loud that it seemed like it could jump out of his chest. You looked up at him, his eyes closed and you couldn't help but admire how beautiful he looked like this. Freshly fucked, his hair messy, sweat glistening all over his body and his lips swollen from all the biting. Something in you was a lot stranger than the so-called hate you had for him, but as it turns out, it wasn't hate. You leaned forward and pressed your lips on top of his, your hand gently cupping his face as you felt him return the kiss. 

"Do you still hate me?" You asked him, his fingers brushing the hair away from your face.

"I never did, baby." 

[phant0mth1ef]

chapter 4: so unfortunately

-

you didn’t know how you found yourself in this situation, the music was blaring in your eardrums and the alcohol in your system was making you feel as if your insides were sloshing about, roaming freely as your head filled with nausea.

you knew that once the hero named pinky had dmed you asking you to go out for the night, you’d finally gain more female friends. but you didn’t expect to be thrown into a rager at the very first hangout.

and although monoma was SIMILAR to a female friend, he just wasn’t a GIRL.

so here you were, hanging out with ashido’s friend group. attempting to keep up with them while also trying not to stumble around. apparently mixing your usual energy drink with alcohol was not for the faint of heart.

ashido and kirishima were on the dance floor, their bodies swaying with the music as you, bakugou, todoroki, midoriya and uraraka were sitting in the backyard, string lights were hung up creating the perfect atmosphere.

“so l/n, why did you take up streaming?” uraraka’s voice pierced through your ears, separating you from the music.

“oh i actually wanted to be a hero at first! but after the war,” you sheepishly rubbed the back of your neck. “it just wasn’t for me after i saw what had happened with the war. and i also liked to play video games. i think i may have played league of legends with shigaraki a couple times.” the red solo cup that was in your hand was sloshing around carelessly.

“oh that’s.. cool!” midoriya wasn’t sure how to respond, his girlfriend was semi-frozen next to him.

“i also used to do gymnastics!” you smiled, once you were under the influence, you were way easier to talk to.

bakugou just watched you, the way you smiled everytime you’d get a compliment and the way you’d quickly reciprocate each compliment. he watched how you would raise the cup up to your lips every few minutes, you were probably barely feeling buzzed.

“hey! c’mon, let’s go take some shots!” ashido appeared before you suddenly, grabbing yours and uraraka’s hands as she yanked you both up from the grass, the cup you had nearly spilling as she dragged you away.

“she’s nice.” todoroki mumbled, drinking his mixture.

“yeah, totally! i hope her and ocacho can be good friends. also, kacchan, she was eyeing you a lot!”

“what? no she wasn’t. don’t say stupid shit like that.”

bakugou wasn’t used to having people that wanted him, at least not that often. there’d be an occasional crush or two throughout his school years, but they’d never liked his personality. but here you were, laughing at his jokes even when they weren’t supposed to be taken as jokes.

unfortunately in your case, the shots were starting to feel like “i can still do a back handspring!”

and so there you were, in front of a crowd that was cheering you on as you took to the ground, flipping yourself in ways that your friends didn’t know you could flip yourself.

and for a while people were starting to wonder why you didn’t continue with gymnastics, because you were good. you even had bakugou watching you, a sparkle in his eye.

until you hit a wooden fence and nearly sprained your wrist in the process.

tags!: @sukunasbottomlefteyeball @pixiesluver @kanvis @brbwritingfanfic

[slut4thebroken]

Tommy’s Pet

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Thomas Shelby x reader

Summary | Tommy teaches his pet a new trick.

Warnings | Sexual content, 18+, smut, pet play?, humiliation, praise, deep throating, dehumanization, throatpie lol, oral fixation?, dub con but not really, slapping, a lil degradation

Words | 3.4 k

Notes | You have @pinguwrites c.ai bot to thank for this skdhdk. Also I’m considering doing more one shots with these two so send me some ideas :)

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

It’s no secret that you’re Tommy’s pet. If the rumors weren’t enough, you always at his side, collared and mostly kneeling, would’ve made it obvious. He liked taking you out, taking you on walks. If you’re good he’ll let you off the leash, but if not then you stay firmly by his side, being dragged by your neck if you couldn’t keep up. 

He knew that everywhere he took you, men wanted to stare. They wanted to eye fuck you and use their imaginations to get rid of what little clothing he allowed you to wear. But most of them didn’t. Because everyone knows that you're his property— and he’s very protective of his property. 

The one man who dared to lay a hand on you while you were off your leash, being allowed to roam the Garrison while Tommy was talking, met a fate worse than the traitors did. That was the one and only time someone tried to touch his property.

You were sitting at his feet, almost under the table, with your head on his thighs as he ran his fingers through your hair and scratched your head. You weren’t listening to what he was saying, you just knew that it was important and you had to stay quiet at all costs. So you hugged his leg and nuzzled your face into his thigh with a pleased sigh. 

You love when he’s gentle with you. When he treats you like his puppy rather than his bitch. It fills your stomach with butterflies everytime. 

His hand moved down to gently caress your cheek, then he was placing his thumb over your lips, offering you something to take your mind off of how long you had to wait here. You took it in your mouth eagerly and sucked, letting your eyes flutter closed as you smiled around the digit. You probably could’ve fallen asleep if he left you here long enough. But just as you started dozing off, he was taking his hand back, making you frown. You realized that there weren’t any voices anymore and you couldn’t see any shoes under the table. 

“Aren’t you such a good pet… staying nice and quiet for me.” He cooed and you were too dumb and spaced out to realize he was mocking you. Nodding eagerly, you gave him a smile in response to the praise as you sat up straighter. “Go lay down in my office. I’ll be there shortly.” He ordered softly. 

“Yes, sir.” You crawled there, keeping your head down to avoid any passing eyes. If you got embarrassed, you’d slip up, then you’d be punished. You made it in his office and laid down on your cushion that was on the floor next to his desk. You weren’t sure how much time passed before he finally joined you, but you immediately sat up, eagerly waiting for his next command. He closed and locked the door, then walked over to pour himself a drink before sitting behind his desk with a heavy sigh. 

“Are you okay, sir?” He seemed stressed… The thought made you frown. 

“Just been a long day s’all.” He took a sip of his drink, then finally turned toward you. “You did a good job during my meeting.” He added, changing the subject. 

“Thank you, sir.” 

“I want to teach you something for next time.” He took another drink and you waited in anticipation. “At my feet.” He ordered, moving the chair back to give you enough room to kneel in front of him. “So obedient.” He murmured, almost to himself. “So small… So delicate.” His eyes darkened and you tried not to squirm under his gaze. “Sometimes I worry I’ll break you.” He uttered softly. 

“I can take it, sir.” You assured him, making him scoff a laugh. 

“s’that so?” He asked with amusement. You nodded in response. “Shall we test that?” He stood up and your eyes followed him curiously as he leaned on the edge of the desk, now behind you. “Face me.” You scrambled to turn around and sat on your knees eagerly. 

“I’m gonna teach you a new trick, love.” He set his glass on the desk and started unbuckling his belt. Your mouth was already salivating at just the sound of it clinking. He kept it in the belt loops, then started unbuttoning his pants, opening them just enough to slip his cock out. He only stroked it twice before pausing. “This might be easier while I’m still half soft.” He realized. 

“In your mouth.” You shuffled forward and wrapped your lips around him, starting to bob up and down until he stopped you. “No. All the way down and stay there.” You obeyed, wondering where this was going. He placed a hand on the back of your head and pushed you into him even more, squishing your nose against his pelvis. Once he was satisfied, he grabbed his belt and brought it behind your head, then started buckling it again. You stared up at him in confusion— how were you supposed to suck him off like this? He only looked at you after he finished securing it, then picked up his drink. 

“We’re training your throat today, pup. You’re going to stay there until I finish my drink.” He explained and your eyes widened. You’ve never stayed down that long before. 

Already you could feel his cock getting harder- bigger. You breathed steadily through your nose, trying to stay relaxed. He took a sip of his drink and stared down at you lazily. He still had almost half of the glass left and you had no idea how you were supposed to stay here until he finished. 

“Do you know why I’m training you to do this?” You could only let out a muffled sound in response. “I want to get you used to keeping my cock in your throat without choking and makin’ too much noise.” He gruffed, taking another small sip. “Once you can do that, that’s how you’ll stay during my meetings.” Those meetings are endless! How are you supposed to stay down the whole time? You wanted to ask that, but you could barely even whine. 

You felt the constant pressure on the back of your mouth now and you knew that he was close to being fully hard— close to going down your throat. You choked and your body convulsed, but you managed to calm down again, breathing heavily through your nose with tears in your eyes. He took another small sip, eyeing you with a lazy smirk as you started struggling. When he started petting your head, you looked up at him with a whimper. 

“Thought you said you could take it?” He murmured, challenging you to keep trying. So you took a deep breath and tried your best to relax. As soon as you did though, his cock was pushing past your throat barrier, making you gag as you whimpered and brought your hands up to his thighs, earning you a hard slap to the cheek. “Down.” He scolded, making you lower them with a blush. He drank a little more and it finally was a little less than half full. When you choked again and started squirming, trying to get away, he slapped you again. 

“Stay.” He ordered, making you whine. You stopped squirming and did your best to control your gag reflex. “So good at following commands, aren’t you, bitch?” You sobbed around him at the name. Anytime he orders you around like a dog, calls you bitch, pup, or puppy, you just get so fucking needy and so fucking wet. 

He took another slow sip and let out a pleased sigh at your obedience. When his eyes suddenly turned darker and almost sinister, you quickly grew nervous. He plugged your nose and your eyes widened as your struggling picked up again. He let you panic and writhe like that until your lungs were starting to burn and your head was starting to feel heavy, but he let go. You took in a sharp breath through your nose, then let out a strangled sob around him. 

“I know…” He cooed with mock sympathy. “Doing such a good job, keeping me so deep.” He started petting your head again and you beamed at the praise. “I think you can go deeper though.” Before you even had a chance to think about what that might’ve meant, he was hitting the back of your head a few times, making you choke again. “Good pup.” He groaned, ruffling your hair. “Maybe you were right. Maybe you can handle it.” You were worried that meant he was going to do something to make this harder, but he just raised the glass to his lips again, taking a larger gulp this time. Barely any left— maybe two more sips. You can last that long.  

“You do make such a good sleeve for my cock.” His praise always makes you blush. “Maybe that’s what you should go by; Tommy’s personal pet and cocksleeve.” He took another small sip and you would’ve cried in relief if you were able to. “I think like that actually.” He raised the glass again and you whimpered as you stared up at him with pleading eyes. Just before it reached his lips, he paused, not drinking yet. “What about you, pet? Do you like that?” You did your best to nod, say yes, anything to satisfy him. 

With a pleased smirk, he finally threw his head back and downed the rest of the drink before placing the glass on the desk and looking down at you, finding you waiting eagerly for him to unbuckle the belt. 

“I think I’ll have a smoke too.” He reached in his pocket and you let out a garbled moan, realizing that he was far from done with you. Once it was lit, he lifted it to his mouth and took a long drag, then blew the smoke down onto you. “After this, then you can be done.” He said teasingly. You tried to whine around him, but it just made you gag again, so you focused on staying completely still and quiet, and breathing slowly through your nose, even though it felt like your airway was partially blocked. 

“This was supposed to be a challenge, pup. But look at you… taking it so easily.” He took another drag of the cigarette and you had to force down the cough that the smoke was bringing up. “Who’s pet are you?” He stared down at you with a glint in his eyes, waiting for you to answer. You tried to speak, but you could barely get out one syllable before gagging again. “What was that? Use my full name, love.” 

You whimpered and tried to say “Thomas Shelby’s” but you started choking again. Everytime you sputtered, more saliva that had built up in your mouth was being forced out of you, some of it trailing down his balls or your neck, and some of it getting on his pants— you knew you were going to be punished for that later. 

“Come on pet, it’s not that hard. Say my fuckin’ name.” You looked up at him with a strangled whimper, silently begging him to not make you try again. When you didn’t speak, he raised his brows and took another drag of the cigarette, giving you one last chance. “If you can’t follow orders, I’ll put this out on your pretty face, and then light a new one.” He said, gesturing with the cigarette. 

So with a shaky exhale through your nose, you tried to suppress your gag reflex enough for you to talk again. You barely managed to mumble out an incoherent ‘Thomas’ before you gagged again, the hardest you had so far. You instinctively brought your hands up to his thighs as your body convulsed. It wouldn’t stop. You kept gagging, kept choking— you were practically dry heaving at this point— but he was barely half finished with the cigarette. 

“Settle down, love.” You whimpered and squeezed your eyes shut with furrowed brows, making him chuckle. “I know…” He cooed. “I know, puppy.. But you’re doing such a good job, you can’t stop now. You’re almost done.” As if to emphasize his point, he brought the cigarette up to his lips again. 

Tears were streaming down your cheeks now and you squeezed his thighs tightly to keep yourself from hitting him away or trying to push him back. You were starting to panic even more now though. With the intrusion in your throat and the shallow breaths as you cried, it felt like you couldn’t breath, which only made you need to hyperventilate, making the feeling worse. 

“Look at me.” He said softly. You whimpered and forced yourself to look up at him with teary eyes, taking in his blurry figure. He was petting your head again, trying to soothe you. “Just try to breathe. You’re doing so good, I know you can take it for just a little bit longer, eh?” You whimpered and averted your gaze, not really agreeing with him, but unable to say that. “Cause you’re my good girl. You’re my pet. And Tommy Shelby’s pet is as strong as he is… that’s why he chose her.” Your whole face flushed down to your chest at his words— you’re used to some praise, but never to this extent. 

When you let out a shaky breath and brought your hands back down to your sides, he gave you a proud smile. You felt like you were on the verge of gagging again any second now, so you tried not to move, not to breathe, anything to keep it from happening. 

“Should I give my good girl a treat?” He had the smirk on his face that usually meant trouble and you got a little nervous. “Yeah… I think she deserves something for doin’ such a good job.” You watched as he took a long drag of the cigarette, then your hips flinched when you felt pressure on your core. His leg was extended between yours, the top of his ankle resting right on your clit.   

“Go ahead, pup. Hump my leg.” You tried not to whine at the degrading words, not wanting to gag again. Even though doing this would make you release sounds that would probably make you choke, you knew that he wasn’t asking, he was ordering. So you started slowly rocking your hips, letting out a sigh through your nose as your eyes fluttered shut. Truthfully, everything about this situation had your clit throbbing and you were just glad you could finally get some relief. When you started grinding faster, you choked a little, but quickly swallowed it down. It just felt so good. And the last time you were allowed an orgasm was a few days ago because of how busy he’s been, so you were chasing it eagerly. 

“Just a little humping and my good pup turns into a bitch in heat.” He sighed, almost disappointed. “At least I trained you early. I’m sure if you didn’t have any rules for a day, you’d try to hump everything in sight.” You whined, but it cut off into a gag and you had to bring your focus back to actively controlling it. 

More smoke was blown in your face and you forced yourself not to whine again. When you looked up, you almost sighed in relief when you saw how close he was to the filter. You met his gaze, he was a little blurry through your tears, but you could see the pleased look on his face. It was faint, but it was definitely there. Wrapping your arms around his leg, you started grinding a little faster chasing your own pleasure. 

“Can you do one last thing for me, pet?” You did your best to nod, but your head barely moved. It probably didn’t matter though, he’d expect you to say yes no matter what. “I know I said after a smoke, but can you wait until I finish?” He knew exactly what he was doing using that tone. There wasn’t even a possibility of you saying anything other than yes when he spoke to you like that. To respond, you just squeezed his leg and he gave you a proud grin. 

He was almost at the filter now and with one, long drag, he finally finished it, stubbing it out on the ashtray and putting both of his hands on the edge of the desk next to his hips. 

“I‘m close, but I need a little more to get there, love.” That was the only warning you got before he started grinding against your face, making you choke when he cock pushed impossibly deeper. “If you want to speed this up, you know what to do.” He said through a breath. You brought your hand up to cup his balls, playing with them gently to add more stimulation. 

You were basically dry heaving again. Tears were rolling down your cheeks as you sputtered, your body convulsing as you tried to free yourself. You could feel bile rising in your throat now and you prayed he would be done very soon so you didn’t almost throw up on him.  

“You want me to finish quickly, eh?” You tried to nod again. “And you’re willing to let me do whatever I need to make that happen?” That made you falter… What would he need to do? He didn’t even let you try to answer this time. “Good girl.”

He plugged your nose and your eyes widened as you looked up at him with fear, making him groan. His other hand settled on the back of your head and he started pushing you down, going faster and faster. He wasn’t really pushing you down, but the movement was enough to make you choke anyway. Your lungs burned and the gagging intensified. When you brought your hand up to his thighs to push yourself away, he let go of your nose and slapped your cheek, hard. 

“You know where your hands need to be.” He warned, giving you a chance to put them back… and you did. He plugged your nose again and you had to dig your nails into his leg to keep from moving your hand again. Your other hand on his balls wasn’t helping much because of how hard you were focusing on not throwing up. Garbled whimpers escaped you as you tried pulling your head back, but even without his hand pushing you down, the belt would’ve stopped you. 

“You can breathe when I fuckin’ come.” He gruffed. God- you hoped that’d be soon. Spit was rolling down your neck to your chest, probably making a mess over the pretty clothes he bought for you. You started to feel lightheaded and your eyes were fluttering, trying to stay open. He moved both hands to the back of your head, letting you breathe again finally, but your relief was cut short. 

He let out a choked groan and both of his hands flattened on your head as he bucked his hips. With how deep he was, you couldn’t even really swallow his come, it was just being forced down. You tried to focus on his quiet moans and the way his cock was twitching inside your throat, but nothing could take your mind off of the constant gagging. 

His sounds died down and his hands loosened, letting you up just a tiny bit. You squeezed his thigh to get his attention, as if your loud choking wasn’t enough, and his eyes opened as he tilted his head down at you, his chest heaving. 

“Yes?” He asked innocently, making you let out a garbled sob around him. “If there’s something you want, you know you need to use your words.” He watched you struggle for another moment until his breathing settled into a normal speed, then reached for the belt. As soon as it was released, you shot back and started coughing, bracing yourself with your hands on the floor, watching a glob of your saliva slowly fall from your lips to the ground. When you were finally panting less and didn’t feel bile in your throat, you looked up at him, your chest still heaving slightly. 

“You did good, pet. I’m proud of you.” He ran his fingers through your hair and you sighed as you leaned into his touch. “I have no doubt that with a little more training, you’ll be able to take it without making a sound.” 

Taglist (join here)

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[lemkanada]

If anyone wanted some Iso Headcannons...

Or not. Here it is anyways. Hope you guys like it.

Warning; None. Only Iso in love.

Iso when he cares about someone(you).

He would be the kind of guy to watch you from afar and make sure that everything is fine. You seem hungry? Don't worry you will find one of your snacks near by just as you realize you should probably eat something. Or you're feeling a bit sick? You will find some coughing pills or orange juice near around you.

If you guys end up on a mission together, he will always be looking out for you even from afar, sometimes saving you from getting shot. And sometimes you save this poor man that is so overly focused on keeping you safe that he didn't hear an enemy approach him to backstab. Which is something you never, ever see happening to Iso normally.

With him listening to so many songs, he definitely has either a playlist or one specific song dedicated to you. When it plays during a mission, he gets even more motivated and focused, he's at his best, you give him motivation to finish this asap so he can see you as quickly as possible.

Even though he isn't the most talkative person, when around you he will try to start small talks or something. He just wants to be near you and hear your sweet voice. If you approach him first, it makes his heart beat faster and he internally melts like how can you be so sweet especially to someone like him? He's just weak for your attention.

If you get hurt during a mission, he will wait till the end and approach you with some medkit he has, using some excuse to not look like he cares too much but be able to take care of your wound.

When he learns that you can speak some Mandarin (please stick with it), even if it's only elementary level, he will love you so much more and be interally ecstatic about it, having little butterflies in his stomach from knowing you know and are interested in his mother tongue. At any opportunity given he will try to teach you a word or two or something, especially if you ever ask him to.

He's not one used to feeling all kind of emotions of course, so when he first started liking you, he didn't know how to react and would try to be further away from you because he didn't know how to handle it. So when he stopped avoiding you, you were relieved because you thought you might have done something to insult him. Which is totally the opposite, he just didn't know what do to with himself and his heart beating faster everytime he saw or was near you....Not that it changed, he just got kind of used to it and knows how to hide it now.

If you guys are on your "days off" and you two end up being alone, with him it will either be chilling together while listening to music or going to a bobba store and drink it over there or back home if you two do not feel like being in public. I mean technically its more you, since Iso prefers to be alone than in public but for you he will do it.

He would also be the kind of person to when he's snacking, ask you if you want any...But if anyone else says they want some he will just stare at them and not want to give it. He will end up giving it if you suggest it, but he won't want to share it with other people than you...Especially if its Yoru, Jett or Pheonix that asks since they usually steal other's food just like that. He does not like the disrespect.

He wouldn't be the one to worry or show any emotions, but if you ever went on a mission without him and you guys were coming back late, or simply back with you in a critical state. His eyes would water and he might even silently cry as he stays by your side and tries to make you feel better asap if you got back hurt.

If you simply arrived late, he would swallow and take a deep breath to calm his heart down and check on you for any wounds. Asking about the mission only after making sure you're fine.

Also. Whenever you're in a mission with him, he will always try to be as badass as possible and get as most kills as possible to try and impress you. If he ever misses a shot and you saw it, he internally dies and will hide his flushed face in his jacket as he tries to act like you are not here.

In all honesty, if you bring him some snack or a bobba tea, his eyes will have a small sparkle to them as he will take it and thank you politely. Although inside he is so happy. He might cherish it a bit longer, like he usually drinks his bobba tea really quickly but will make sure to enjoy that one. That or if its a snack, he will eat some then keep the rest for later, looking at it in his dorm like it was some kind of treasure.

This of course, will get him fighting to protect the snack from the food stealers agents. Ahem.

If the agents ever made chatrooms, Iso will always glance at his phone when he gets a notification hoping that it is you, sighing when it is not, and quickly opening the chat when it is.

If you two normally texts in dms, he would be the kind to wait for your answers till he ends up falling asleep waiting for it...If you were training or busy.

100% more of a text kind of guy, but when/if you ever get with him, he will love to get calls from you. And sometimes he will even call you if he misses you. He can't get enough of your voice, his favorite sound, yes, more than his music.

He might also call or text you even when you both are in the same room. Either texting, asking if you two wanted to go somwhere else if there were people, or simply to get your attention if you were talking enthusiastically with Killjoy, Jett or Gekko and kind of “ignoring” him.

He lowkey wants your attention, all of it.

Of course, since he's not much of a man of words, he makes up for it in actions and spoiling you in his own little ways (snacks, drinks, matching clothes).

—

[bueckers-sturniolo]

you are in love. (part 2 to the alchemy)

paige bueckers x fem!reader

read part 1 here!

word count: 1,234!

warnings: cursing, mentions of alcohol, drunk!paige, smooching. ALSO, if u listen to the song and read, i skipped around and used different lyrics to make this flow easier and more understandable.

authors note: HI GUYS! i wrote the alchemy 10-ish days ago now, and you guys have shown me so much love and support. i cannot express how happy i am that you guys enjoy my writing :) i hope you guys love, love, love this. i love love love you. part 3 coming soon, hopefully :)

p.s. all of the words highlighted in blue are references back to you are in love. enjoy :)

one look, dark room. meant just for you. time moved too fast, you play it back. buttons on a coat, lighthearted joke. no proof, not much. but, you saw enough. small talk, he drives. coffee at midnight. the light reflects, the chain on your neck. he says,’look up,’ and your shoulders brush. no proof, one touch, but you felt enough.

the night after the game was a blur. well, partly. the team was now at a restaurant-bar type thing. some of you were drinking, some of you aren’t. paige was, which, everytime the team went out, she did. but, this time is… different.

shes always a little touchy-feely when drunk, but, she’s taking it to a whole new level tonight. right now, you’re talking to kk, sitting down, and she’s somewhere taking shots with azzi. you’ve been keeping an eye on her all night, but…. she tends to wander.

you’re currently drinking an espresso martini, even though it was close to midnight and it probably wasn’t the best idea to drink coffee at midnight. but, who cares? it’s fun.

“im surprised paige isn’t attached to your hip, right now.” kk says, snapping you out of your daze with a light-hearted joke.

you chuckle, shaking your head. your gaze meets paige again. she finally locks eyes with you, and smiles lopsidedly.

“holy shit, she’s hammered.” you whisper to kk, and kk laughs, “yeah, she normally gets a little tipsy after a win.” you nod at that, then signal for paige to walk over to you guys.

she makes her way over to you guys, immediately walking up behind you and resting her chin on your shoulder.

“hey, hiccup, killer. what’s up?” paige says, slurring her words. you can smell the alcohol. maybe it’s from the close proximity, maybe she’s just chugging alcohol like it’s spring break. you have no clue, but regardless, it kinda makes your stomach turn. it’s not a great smell.

“just checkin’ on you,” you mumble, turning your face to look at her. she looks at you from the corner of her eyes, smiling slightly. “how much have you had to drink?”

“a few, not a lot…” she says, still smiling. you chuckle, looking back at kk with a ‘are you hearing this bitch lie straight through her teeth?’ look, and kk just smiles.

paige’s hand made its way around your body, then brings it up to your collarbones, fiddling with the necklace around your neck. she hums as she looks at it.

“it’s sparkly.” paige says, her drunk mind being weirdly fascinated with the way the light reflects the chain on your neck. you smile at that, finding it absolutely fucking adorable how interesting she finds this necklace, even though you wear it all the time.

one step, not much. but, it said enough. you kiss on sidewalks,

by the time paige is ready to leave, it’s 1:46 am. the rest of the team had left already, getting bored of waiting for paige to hurry up. but, you felt obligated to stay. so, you call an uber, then you guys stand outside on the sidewalk. it’s december, and it’s extremely cold outside. you and paige stand huddled up to each other, shivering. your teeth started chattering together, and paige couldn’t bare it anymore.

that’s when paige wraps her arms around your waist, pulling you into her. it wasn’t really for her sake, at all. it was for yours.

you rest your head into the crook of her neck, pushing your hands inbetween your bodies to seek some sort of warmth. you guys stand like this in silence for a few minutes. then, her drunk temptations started to get the best of her. she gently nudges your face with her shoulder, signaling for you to lift it up.

as you do, she looks at you for a few seconds. you were extremely confused as to why she would take away your sense of heat, and then she kisses you. she kisses you.

what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck, is your only thought. after a few moments of shock, you decide to kiss back, bringing your hands up to her face. it feels wrong, you feel guilty. she’s so drunk she probably doesn’t even know what she’s doing.

but, drunk actions are sober thoughts. so, fuck it, you think.

as the uber rolls up beside you guys, she breaks the kiss. she then just lets go of you and walks off like it didn’t fucking happen. what. the. fuck. is still your only thought.

you fight, then you talk.

the next morning, you decide to ask her about it. bad choice, but hell, why not?

“so… you just…” you stay silent for a few seconds, “don’t remember kissing me? at all?” you say, getting frustrated. you had no real reason as to getting angry over this, but, you wanted her to remember it. you wanted her to have meant it.

“no, i do not fuckin’ remember it, why is it even such a big deal? friends kiss all the time as a joke.” paige says, shrugging. she’s sitting across from you on your couch right now, and she’s sitting as far as she can. why the fuck is she doing this?

“paige, i just-“ you cut yourself off, running your hands over your face. how do you defend the fact that you’re angry about your best friend not remembering kissing you while drunk? it’s not even that big of a deal, really.

“look, im sorry i did it. im sorry i dont remember. it was a mistake, y/n.” she says, sighing. okay, fuck you too, then, you think. you didn’t really want to talk about it anymore, honestly. her saying it was a mistake was something that was so hurtful that it kinda made you have that feeling in your stomach when it feels like your heart has actually dropped down onto it. (does that even make sense? let me know)

now or never, now or never, now or never, you repeat in your head.

you take a deep breath, opening your mouth. then, you close it again. paige is staring dead at you. she’s always been good at just making eye contact with anyone and everyone, it made you kinda nervous. you weren’t bad or uneasy with eye contact normally, but with her… it was different.

“what if i wanted you to mean it, paige?” you say, looking her dead in the eyes.

she stares. all that she can is fucking stare at you. “what?” she mumbled out, quietly. “what do you mean, ‘what?’ its pretty damn clear. what if i wanted you to mean it when you kissed me? i know you were drunk, i understand that. but, what if i have been praying since it happened that you intended for that to happen and the only way you could push yourself to finally do it was when you were drunk off your ass?” you begin rambling out of frustration of her not responding with what you want her to.

you want her to admit that she wanted to kiss you. you wanted her to admit that every time she saw you, it took every fiber and atom in her body to hold back from kissing you. but, she didn’t. she stares at you in shock, eyes wide. in disbelief, even.

“what?”

a/n: sorry for the cliffhanger. anyway, part 3? 😁

[w1ngedsoul]

dating frenchie...

warnings: swearing, mentions of sex/drugs

requests are open!

frenchie masterlist

⭑ loves to give you nicknames

⭑ if you're short, he'll call you something like 'stumpy' or 'little leprecaun' and if you're taller, he'll call you something like 'bfg' or 'giraffe'

⭑ 'mon coeur', 'ma puce', 'mon amour', 'cherie'

⭑ 😫

⭑ literally so fine, you just stare while he's working on a project and when he catches you staring 👀

⭑ LORD

⭑ his face while concentrating >>

⭑ frenchie is a breast guy, end of discussion

⭑ he just loves laying on your chest and falling asleep

⭑ definitely has ordered you lacy bras before so he can spot your nipples poking through

⭑ speaking of lacy clothing, he ADORES lingerie

⭑ he loves the way they hug your hips and pushes your breasts together

⭑ grey, white, red, green, black

⭑ you have a whole damn drawer just for them at this point

⭑ he definitely loves to experiment with toys

⭑ vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, whips

⭑ he's up for trying pretty much anything

⭑ he likes being tied up and being restrained from touching you but when you've undone the restraints then he's all over you

⭑ he's also into edging you, seeing how far he can push your limits until you're a crying mess for him

⭑ 'mon coeur, look at me while i let you finish'

⭑ he's loves baking and cooking for you

⭑ literally never let's you help him

⭑ you're banished from the kitchen 🧍

⭑ loves to hear what you think when he tries out a new recipe

⭑ his face lights up if you like it, it's almost never that you don't like something he's made because, c'mon, this man is an artist in the kitchen

⭑ loves smacking your ass

⭑ when you're walking past him, bending down, brushing your teeth, showering together

⭑ on the topic of showering, he loves it so much when you let him wash your hair

⭑ he makes sure to be careful everytime and to never tug your hair, he loves putting on your hair masks and hair oil, even after you're showered he loves putting on all your different sprays to fully nourish your hair

⭑ he also loves to curl/straighten/wave your hair, or anything in general

⭑ whether it's literally putting up a ponytail or totally curling and volumising your hair, he wants to be involved

⭑ you eventually taught him and now he never let's you do your hair

⭑ privacy means nothing in your relationship

⭑ not that he intentionally invades your privacy, he just loves your company and wants to be near you all of the time

⭑ he's an artist, prove me wrong

⭑ he loves drawing you, in your favourite dresses, or without clothing

⭑ he's definitely got your name tattooed on the back of his neck or the date of your anniversary

⭑ he loves being romantic

⭑ written letters, candles, dancing, dates every friday, flowers, your favourite drink order every morning

⭑ he loves taking care of you

⭑ cleaning, cooking, drawing, walks in the park

⭑ his love language is acts of service, what can i say

⭑ he also loves watching films with you

⭑ if its something he's already seen, he'll definitely unintentionally spoil it

⭑ 'it's such a shame that he has a bullet shot through his head-, putain!'

⭑ one of his favourite films is final destination

⭑ listen, i don't make the rules 🤷

⭑ loves anything with a detailed plot, or an unexpected twist

⭑ has two birds, lizzie and maguire

⭑ you bought them both together, and even if the owner seemed dodgy, you still arrived home happy

⭑ having them fly around the shared apartment the whole group lives in scares the shit out of butcher

⭑ he once shattered a mug of coffee

⭑ frenchie loves kissing you in front of the boys + kimiko, he loves their annoyed expressions, telling him to finish his project

⭑ talking about kimiko, she's happy for the both of you and has never felt any feelings other than platonic towards frenchie

⭑ you and her are a literal dream team at ranking frenchie

⭑ the whoopie cushion is such a classic but scared him shitless

⭑ he's literally the best bf ever

⭑ he's try and keep you out of the boys' business as often as possible, to keep you safe, although if you really wanted to, he wouldn't stop you from doing so as he wants to respect your wishes as much as possible

⭑ always complimentary towards you, and telling you how much he loves you

⭑ 'mon amour, you are the best thing to ever happen to me'

[demonpiratehuntress]

Hi, I want to ask something, have you seen the tik tok trend where there is a couple, and the girlfriend does the dance with the song 'everytime we touch' and the boyfriend just stands there giving their reaction. Can you please make some reactions from one piece characters (Ace, Sabo, Zoro and Law)? Thank you for reading this. Hope you have a nice day🌹

hello! i haven't seen the trend because i don't have tiktok, but i did look it up for this request :) also i don't know a thing about Sabo because i haven't met him in the anime yet, but i have read a few things about him so i'll try. i hope he's not too OOC but if he is im sorry!

also i don't do AUs so the song will play from a dial like the ones in Skypeia :)

taglist - @kabloswrld

everytime we touch

featuring - Ace x F!Reader, Law x F!Reader, Zoro x F!Reader, Sabo x F!Reader

summary - the ask :))))

warnings - slightly suggestive???

ZORO

Zoro has reached a point where he fully believes that he is used to your pranks and shenanigans. He thinks that there is no way you could surprise him now, because he thinks he knows every trick or shenanigan you could pull.

But he eventually finds out just how creative you can be when you pull him aside from training one day in the crow's nest, saying you have something you want to show him. He's definitely not prepared for what he sees next.

"'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling..."

An unfamiliar (to Zoro) song starts to play from one of the dials you picked up in Skypeia, but your boyfriend recognised the voice because it belonged to a famous singer you liked to travel to islands to just to see.

"Babe-"

And then you start.

Swaying your hips and moving your body to the beat of the song, Zoro's eyes never leave your figure. He's mesmerised by the sight in front of him, and he'll deny it vehemently but a light blush dusts his cheeks as he watches you move. He's never seen anything like this, but he's sure he only ever wants to see you move this way - and he only ever wants you to move this way for him.

His eyes are wide and his lips parted slightly by the time you're finished, and he looks like a fish gaping for air. You giggle, and that apparently snaps him back to reality because then he growls and grabs your waist, roughly pulling you against his body.

"Do it again for me baby, but this time without the clothes."

ACE

Ace had just returned from a long mission and you wanted to show him just how much you missed him. You had a song recorded on a dial Ace had gifted you for your birthday - though how he got it you had no idea. But anyway, you prepared a little dance for your tired boyfriend, feeling only slightly guilty about pulling him away from dinner so he could see it before he KO'd.

"I promise babe, you're gonna love it!"

He offered you a sleepy but still goofy grin as you tugged him along to your shared room, "I know, baby. I love anything and everything you do."

Blushing at his sweet compliment, you closed the door before turning to him and began your dance. Ace's eyes immediately shot wide open, all sleep disappearing from them as he drunk in the sight of you moving that way before him. His jaw dropped, stunned for a moment before his eyes regained that familiar mischievous gleam they sported for almost every hour of every day.

"Babe, you never told me you could move like this," he smiled, though he immediately joins in when he's over his initial shock.

He is definitely the type of boyfriend to go along with this kind of thing and even add in his own moves, just to watch you giggle and tell him that's not how you do it, and just to watch you repeat it for him so he can drink it in over and over.

"I'm sorry babe! I really don't get it, show me again?"

LAW

Law absolutely does not stand for your shenanigans. Every time you try to trick him or prank him or otherwise do something that will annoy him, he will 'room, shambles' you into another part of the submarine. Which is why you have to get rather creative with your methods of showing him certain things.

"Captain! There's something wrong with (Name)!"

Law was up and out of his chair before the bear could blink, racing down the hallway at the speed of light to find you. However the ruse was quickly revealed to Law when he walked into the dining area and saw you were okay.

"(Name)-ya, what-"

You cut him off by standing up and beginning to dance for him, after pressing play on something behind you. Law felt like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs, as he gazed at you moving so mesmerisingly. For a while all he could do was stare, his body stiffened up as his eyes went wide and just locked onto your moving figure, never once leaving it.

That's not to say Law didn't like it. He did, he very much did, but he was so awkward that he didn't know how to properly react. This big nerd just blushes an insane amount that you all have never seen before and just stares at you. He feels like his own body forgets how to move, and for a while all he sees is you. You are the only thing filling his vision, and with your movements he swallows thickly.

"(Name)-ya...you are absolutely stunning but this is something that should be for my eyes alone."

SABO

Sabo is a very busy man, you know that. He's got a lot of responsibilities and an equal amount of duties to the Revolutionary Army, so he barely has time to just relax and have fun. You're pretty sure he doesn't know how to, but you're slowly helping him with that. And today is no different, because today you have a surprise for him.

"Hey baby, do you have a moment?" You walk into his office without knocking, something you got away with - most of the time.

"Of course, what do you need love?" The blonde answered, without even looking up.

You sighed, "For me to answer that, you need to look up."

He stopped what he was doing then, his eyes drifting up to meet your figure. As soon as you were sure he was looking and wouldn't immediately dismiss you again, you pressed play on the dial and started to dance as a song started to fill the room.

Sabo dropped the pen he was holding as he watched you, his eyes widening and his heart hammering. He swallowed thickly, leaning back in his chair to observe you as you danced. Several emotions flared within him, but he was unable to tell which was more prominent. However, he knew one thing for sure, and that was-

"Love, you're absolutely amazing you know that?" Coupled with his cute smile, the compliment almost had you tripping up.

"Yeah?" You smiled when you were done. "You liked it?"

He grinned and stood up, walking around the table to snake his arms around your waist. He pressed gentle kisses to your forehead, your cheeks, and your neck, the kisses getting slower and more sensual with each change in place.

"I think like is too weak of a word to describe how I felt about that."

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

MOOOREE SHAPES!!!!!!!!!

Since the last one was so fun I thought I would do another!

ASL shapes post

I’m begging and pleading you to look at Keep Reading 👇

Shape language is defined as “a concept used in art and animation to communicate meaning based on shapes we are familiar with” (source). This concept uses circles, triangles, and squares to convey an idea of the “personality” of the design without using any words.

In designs, using circles and rounded edges in your silhouette and detailing gives the design a soft and squishy look. They tend to be harmless, approachable, or changeable.

Designs using squares gives the design a solid, sturdy, and strong look. They are supportive, reliable, and inflexible

Lastly, triangle designs are sharp and directional. They are dynamic, dangerous, and unpredictable.

Here are the main silhouettes I used! I'll just go down the list here since theres so many of them

(edit from me after writing all of this down: ✨Drinking game!✨ take a shot everytime i say either square or rectangle. You'll be dead by the end. Anyway, enjoy!)

⚔️: Even in his base design, Zoro is essentially a giant rectangle. He's stable, reliable, and supportive. but even though he is all that, i think he definately deserves some triangle imagry so i tried to squeak one in there.

🍊:Nami is her own breed of triangle. She's not unpredictable, per say,, just very very hostile. and I love her for that. but she is also very reliable, she has to be for her job. So i award her 2 triangles and a square

🌱: you may notice a trend by now that everyone has a square. that's because every one of the straw hats are all hella reliable, and thats not excluding Usopp. Even though he feels like he's not cut out for the awful situations he's often in, he somehow always squeezes by victorious. But also, he is friend shaped. so he gets 2 circles and a square.

🍳: Similarly to Zoro, Sanji is also just a gigantic square. His torso is the main box, but his les are always in a position of stability, closely resembling a square. But also, his head is soft and round, portraying his kindness. As such i award him with two squares and a box-y circle.

🩺: just.. i mean just look at any picture of base chopper. HES JUST A GIANT CIRCLE. He got a big ol' noggin, a round body, and two little stick legs. he deserves a square though, so I gave him a square for his feets.

🔎: Robin has the same shape layout as Sanji. She is also very reliable and very kind. where she differs though is that she still has so much mystery to her, that i still tried to incorporate triangles as smaller details in her design. Two rectangles, a circle, and many small triangles. She has the range.

🛠️:Franky is a gigantic square with almost no non-square angles to him. he has his shoulders, his glasses, and his crotch that are not quadrilateral and of course that signifies how reliable and stable he is. Cant knock this cat over. he gets 3 squares.

🎸: Brook was a bit hard to pick which shape would be his majority, so I didn't. He got all of them. He's polite and kind, but also mischievous and full of surprises. And of course. Square attributes. one square one circle and one triangle.

🌊: For Jinbe, I... yes, the guy is a gigantic square, but also he's just kinda always doin shit that I don't expect him to do, so i think he also deserves a triangle. I dont know how i would add a third shape in him since his gigantic square body takes up the majority of his figure, so i just used two. One square, and one triangle.

And that just about covers all of them! if you read all this, thank you so much for listening to my ramblings!

[leclerc-s]

struggling to survive netflix

series masterlist

rhys jones word of advice: DO NOT watch season 6 of drive to survive.

max jones-verstappen you watch that crap?

rhys jones i couldn't sleep, it dropped, so i watched it. worst mistake of my life.

rhys jones i can't believe i was at several races and ryan made it onto the show before me.

esteban ocon oh yes, i forgot about that.

isabella perez someone tell charles they made him out to be the villain.

natalia ruiz just like max in season 1.

charles leclerc i did nothing wrong all season but have shitty luck.

dulce perez monza. charles leclerc i may have done one thing wrong.

rhys jones max went from being the formula 1 villain to being comedic relief.

max jones-verstappen i bet there was no mention of my win streak

isabella perez in the last fifteen minutes but only because christian mentioned it.

charles leclerc can i enter my villain era now?

pierre gasly do you even know what that is? charles leclerc je t'emmerde connard

rowan todd WHITE HORSE?? CONEY ISLAND?? WITH MAE?? ARE YOU TWO TRYING TO KILL US??

daphne jones-ricciardo 😁😁 mae jones-verstappen 😁😁

isabella perez CONEY ISLAND?? YOU SANG CONEY ISLAND?

isabella perez THIS IS FUCKING WORSE THAN LOSING MIRRORBALL!!

max jones-verstappen to be fair i lost seven to fucking pittsburg of all places.

rhys jones jokes on you guys, my song still safe.

daphne jones-ricciardo and what song is that rhys?

rhys jones thug song

daphne jones-ricciardo of fucking course it is.

alex albon crossing my fingers for monologue song next!

george russell charles cried when daphne sang this is me trying as a surprise song. i have a picture of it.

bailey winters one could say you "have it printed out" george russell hilarious bailey. bailey winter this is why lewis decided to leave mercedes, because you're dry as fuck george russell TOO SOON BAILEY!! TOO SOON!!

isabella perez sylvia just got me in trouble. apparently it's not good to speak out against netflix.

dulce perez i think it's more so because you spoke out in favor of a driver from a rival team and not that you spoke put again netflix. natalia ruiz i didn't get in trouble? charles leclerc it was probably the oscar part and not the netflix part isabella perez i got told by fred that it was okay??? just no spilling company secrets.

carlos sainz she probably just doesn't like you.

isabella perez wow.

lando norris to be fair, you are quite annoying. i get it.

dulce perez only i get to call her annoying kermit the frog

lance stroll we should wait until the next season for more drama. that's when it'll be good because of a certain someone breaking f1 twitter.

lewis hamilton talking about me? mick schumacher don't forget the secret contract lengths! esteban ocon and silly season!!

freya vettel i was fully expecting them to make oscar and lando to look like enemies. they've done it before.

isabella perez we should make a drinking game out of dts!! anytime d*nica shows up on screen we take a shot.

zoya torres we'd end up blackout drunk. george russell alternative, take a shot everytime will buxton says something funny. max jones-verstappen or anytime they make teammates who get along look like enemies. mae jones-verstappen you seriously still bitter about the daniel thing? max jones-verstappen YES! WE WERE NEVER ENEMIES!!

esteban ocon netflix doesn't know that friendships and rivalries can exist on the same scale.

rowan todd doesn't help that pierre said, "we'll never be best friends."

rhys jones i'm surprised they haven't brought in the nepotism card yet.

mick schumacher they did.

rhys jones i avoid that episode to not cry and charles' episode in season 1

isabella perez oh, same! we're very emotional people. i also avoid daniel's episode in season 5. and i can't stand otmar.

oscar piastri mood. esteban ocon same. pierre gasly you're lucky you didn't have to work with the guy. lance stroll welcome to the club

sebastian vettel any mention of my bee corner?

isabella perez no, and the people are upset. they wanted more of seb's buzzin' corner

logan sargeant he got the logan treatment, completely forgotten.

oscar piastri that's not funny mate.

alex albon lily and i are working on getting rid of his tendencies to degrade himself.

max jones-verstappen how's that working for you two so far? alex albon not well as you can see

daphne jones-ricciardo we have a new set of grid parents!

daniel jones-ricciardo GO TO SLEEP!

daphne jones-ricciardo shh! i just got to episode 3.

fernando alonso my favorite episode is episode 1.

max jones-verstappen ARE ALL OF YOU WATCHING IT?

lewis hamilton i wanted to see how they foreshadowed my move to ferrari. mae jones-verstappen daphne dragged me into this. daphne jones-ricciardo LIAR! IT WAS YOUR IDEA! george russell i wanted to see how i evolved through the season

max jones-verstappen i guess i should watch it.

daniel jones-ricciardo i promise you won't regret it.

12 hours later

max jones-verstappen you're a fucking liar daniel jones-ricciardo. i regret it so much.

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strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

click here to be added to the honest series taglist

¡leclerc-s speaks! pushing my disliking for danica and otmar with this one. i still don’t understand why she was in season 6 of dts when she’s never driven an f1 car. i was thinking of doing a written part for the parts i made up but would anyone be interested in that?

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[harmonysanreads]

Sumeru hexagon brainrot because I've been rewatching the recent event scenes but also expanding on the one thing of darling being a commentator as well!

I'm thinking of darling freaking out watching the boys trying to hurt each other and especially after Kaveh deals with the diadem they rush towards him and begin fawning over him super worried about him being hurt. (Subtle side glare to wanderer as well for being real rough on the poor boy's side. That ameno blast got him good!)

And Kaveh is so dramatic he'd definitely play it up some more to bask in the undivided attention. And then him learning of what exactly happened to his dad? Darling gets a drunk Kaveh at her doorstep in the middle of the night and ends up caring for him more.

Of course as a thank you Kaveh invites her for a meal (and pays for it! Thanks to Cyno buying the card). Instead of inviting them to the meal with Cyno and Tighnari because he'd be able to have darling to himself. (But we know how resourceful those other boys are and they may or may not have found out and crashed the date).

[ au masterlist ]

If Kaveh had a mora for everytime his advances faced subjugation, he'd have... a lot of mora.

At this point, he can't say he's surprised at the turn of events. If anything, it's Kaveh's failure for not expecting it and taking necessary precautions. Oh well, he just wanted to share a nice meal with you! Was that so much to ask for??

Apparently.

“[Name], I told you, you should've left him outside last night instead of inviting him over. See the look he's giving me!” the hatted boy Kaveh's seen hanging by your person more often than not side eyes him, “whispering” not so discreetly but very purposefully by your ear, a hand raised in mock cover and all the shebang. Kaveh's left eye twitches as he struggles to keep the amiable smile on his face, hands curling into fists beneath the table as his eyes meet coy blue ones.

“I think Hat Guy here has a point, you look unnecessarily agitated, Kaveh.” chimes in a certain scholar seated on your right, Tighnari and Cyno take an eager sip of their drinks at the sight.

Kaveh's carefully maintained countenance almost shatters at the comment, but a look at your face has him halt at the last second, he promised to keep himself in check, he reminds himself. The sheer audacity of these kids! Crashing on his moment and then blaming him for getting annoyed?

“Well, why do you think I am as agitated as I look?” the architect points a fork towards the Scribe from across the table.

“Simple, because you cannot keep your emotions in check.”

“That's it, I've had—”

“Enough, you two.”

Kaveh freezes in his position as your words still the chatters. Yet, the tension in the air only becomes more tangible as five pairs of eyes await your next course of action.

You gently remove the hatted boy's arm from yours (ignoring his reluctance to let go), shifting to address each of the men, “Kaveh has a valid point for being irritated, after all, you four did barge in uninvited. But we're not strangers, so there shouldn't be an issue for us to cooperate and make the most of this meal. Right, Kaveh?”

The addressed architect sits back down with a huff, acquiescing with a heated ‘fine’ after some deliberation. With your declaration, everyone relaxes in various degrees. It's not until Tighnari quips up does the silence break, “[Name] is right, you know. We're all friends, do we really need permission to join each other?”

The ex-harbinger notices the General Mahamatra look at the Forest Ranger by the corner of his eye, the impish tone of Tighnari's words is just noticeable enough for everyone to catch but not to comment on, how interesting.

“Well, it wouldn't hurt to let your friends know beforehand, either, right?” the architect shots back.

Cyno takes over unexpectedly, “Of course not. But I'm with Tighnari on this, friends trust each other enough to let down boundaries. It's not like we have any other intention except wanting to spend time with each other, so what is there to get worked up for?”

“There is a reason to get worked up because I was on a da—”

Kaveh chokes back his words midway, the air suddenly feeling electric. He dares not look, he doesn't need to, for he can feel the men's eyes piercing through his soul at the slip up.

“You were on a da...?” Tighnari urges and despite not following, you find yourself holding your breath.

“I was on a, on a.. da.. da..dat—”

Kaveh makes the mistake of looking right and the sight of a pulsating anemo vision has him gulp.

“—dessert! I was on my dessert! Oh goodness, this thing is delicious! Why would you all interrupt me enjoying it? Hahaha.”

The electricity dissipates without a trace, the air suddenly much easier to breath in. You're left there blinking, not really grasping the point of that exchange as Kaveh gobbles up a random sweet treat to affirm his words. Cyno and Tighnari exchange triumphant glances and Alhaitham goes back to his book, Hat Guy leans back in his seat and Kaveh heaves a sigh of relief.

What a close call.