#dreamy astronaut

[saturnsaurius]

💜🫧🪐🌟🐰✨💞

[sometimesonny]

Thought I’d upload my Inktober Drawings on Tumblr! I’m a couple days late but I’ll catch up:

First is “Dream”

[aestheticsoftheinternet]

Astronaut Cookie Moodboard

Requested by: Nobody! <3

[aisuzana]

[simplymadewishes]

[vedevilvi]

I feel like an astronaut in a field of Liliths. It’s easier to beathe when a fellow soul gives you aproval and guidance. Feeling like sitting in my bed talking about mundane stuff or staring at the moon, silently. The world feels very still, and that’s good :)

[art-vortex]

(via Couvre-litundefined avec l'œuvre « "Dreamy Spacewalk: Kawaii Galaxy Trek" » de l'artiste Art-Vortex-fr)

[sharksupermacy]

expectation

expectation - chaewon x 6/7th member! reader

synopsis: you always had expectations

genre: be warned there is a kiss, angst, idk this timeline a bit weird, fluff at the end?, it's so long..., not very obvious pinning 1.9k words

money, power, and influence

3 most used words that everybody uses to describe you family. smart, blessed, and private were often the words that media would use to describe you parents. your three siblings all accomplished people in their field achieving the highest prestige of each field.

your eldest brother, a 26 year-old astronaut. he is the youngest person in asia to be sent up to space, having a masters in aeronautical engineering. before heading to space he was considered one of the best engineers making and fixing space ships.

followed by your second older brother, a 24 year-old surgeon who works with doctors without borders to help refugees in 3rd world countries to offer free health care. His public image is to seen as the perfect with his "dreamy visuals" and "charming" personality he was seen as the perfect son in law to many moms.

your older sister, a 22 year-old genius at business marketing and an well respected entrepreneur. she was dubbed with the title of "iconic", and "genius" as she made her way up the ranks of one of koreas billionaire without the help of her family money or name.

then there was you, a twenty year-old who had just finished their masters in biology engineering and a producer. but the difference between you and your sibling was that they were claimed by the 'choi' family once they had been successful. This insane drive to be able to receive validation from your parents had led down your siblings of trying to top each other.

when you had study abroad at MIT you had a chance to meet some awesome people realizing how unhealthy your family situation was you wanted to be able to pull away from it. so that's what you did, doing what your family hated the most becoming an idol. oddly enough, you were pretty competent at dancing due to your past in figure skating. passing the audition at source music and being added into a group in the works called 'le sserafim'. Getting along with the members well before the debut, filming the documentary hyping up the debut, and of course learning the choreo.

eventual, a year the time came where you were revealed to the public to as the final member of the le sserafim line up. to say your family was livid at you for becoming an idol, let alone one in a group. parents yelling at you over the phone just beside the room where the fimmies were celebrating the final member debut. multiple text flooded your phone with angry message from your siblings all but one oddly enough, your second eldest brother congratulating on your debut. those words were able to make you release the dam of tears you were holding from frustrations, wrecking every fiber of your being. you had responded with a calm text of 'thanks.'

soon falling asleep on your bed fimmies checking in on you seeing if you wanted to celebrate but was met with you sleeping. assuming that you were just tired from all the stress of debuting soon. closing the door quietly they headed over to the other dorm to celebrate.

it was a year after you debut where you had been last contacted by your family aside from your second brother. apparently, the last child of the esteemed 'choi' family not being claimed had started to make other people feel curious about the last member remaining identity. the hunt for the last child was on, each news outlets all clamoring to get any information about the last choi. searching through many choi who were extremely accomplished at anything eachtime getting repeatedly rejected. People even started claiming that they were the long lost choi. With rumors being shut down official by the statement of the family 'we will not be claiming our last child as they have done something to dishonor our family. until, she has properly return to the path that is right we will not be making any statement regarding our child.'

with that statement you had felt like all of the media eyes turned towards the celebrities because the choi family was well known to dislike the entertainment because of their cheap nature. The only people they liked in the entertainment industry was well established and talented people.

the media teared through the entertainment industry pass making sure they had fit the regulation of being born after 2000s, female, and choi as a last name. you saw as the number dwindled slowly winding down the guesses to lia (itzy) and you. Both companies were pestered to make statements regarding their artists but only jyp had made a statement denying that lia was not apart of that 'choi' family.

which had just left you, and you had not told the company about you being related to that 'choi' family. the issue had become so big that you were eventually called into a meeting with mr.bang about how to address the issue. you had came clean about being related to that 'choi' family but what you had never expect was bang si-hyuk agreeing with you to not say a word to the public business as usual they say.

now the other problem your family. All mad at you for choosing to go into a career path with fake prestige attached to it. Never caring or understanding enough to figure why you had did this. The constant insults of your members and yourself berating you from your family was slowly grinding away at your nerves.

“hey y/n? you good?” asked the korean a bit concerned as you haven’t been your usual self in the while. She dipped her tea bag in her cup wiping the tea bag at the edge of cup after she was done.

"yea," you huffed out not wanting to burden her with your family problems. the members knew aside from the youngest's that you always had family problems regarding becoming an idol but they would never understand how deep hatred ran. chaewon could never understand why you had isolated yourself, but she knew the only one you would open to would be yunjin. it was always the expectation that you would open up to her first as she was the leader, the backbone of the group. but for some odd reason you never did.

if chaewon could describe you with one word, it would be troubling. no matter what she did, even with other members help, you would never talk with her. when push came to shove, both chaewon and you kept shoving each other, always harder than the last. she couldn't put a word on you before; she always admired you from afar before debuting, noticing how you always trained constantly, always striving for perfection.

but this trait eventually became the downfall between the two of you because when you were confronted with your unhealthy training habits, you always shut her out. which had led you to almost shut her out of every aspect of your life she wanted to talk about: family, training progress, song progress, dancing, even the seemingly most random things. whenever, there was a conversation that was had between the two of you, one would always leave frustrated. she just couldn't understand your reluctance to take criticism from her, have a conversation about anything, and how you could never fit her expectations of how to take care of a member.

this led to chaewon talking the ear off of her former member and now soloist, kwon eunbi, about what to do with you. "she's just so closed off and frustrating," chaewon huffed out while punching a pillow beside her.

"have you ever considered why she wouldn't talk to you?" eunbi questioned the small figure huffing on her couch.

"no?? how am i supposed to even think about that when she doesn't even give me a chance to talk to her?" she complained as she finally stopped punching the poor pillow and laid down.

"phrase it this way. why do you have this expectation that she has to be open to you?" eunbi questioned the younger.

"when we were in iz*one, you helped everyone with their problems as a leader should. meaning ... that for me to be a good leader, i should also help the members with their problems, but she never let me do so," chaewon huffed out while hugging the pillow.

"first off, i didn't help everyone with their all problems. i allowed everyone to come to me at their own pace, never setting an expectation for anybody," eunbi explained to chaewon but was  interrupted.

"but-" chaewon said as she was about to refute each of her eunbi points but was cut off.

"doesn't mean that because you came to me with your problem, all the members did. we all have our way to cope, and it may be different from other people's, but as long as it's healthy, i see no reason why to intervene," eunbi said while sitting beside chaewon now holding her hand.

"fine, i'll let it be," chaewon huffed into the pillow while squeezing eunbi's hand.

slowly but surely, the more chaewon had backed off. the more you opened up to her, the fewer the yelling matches you both had every day, and slowly came the calm. it was odd for chaewon, she was never used to both of you coexisting peacefully, you on the other side of the kitchen buttering your toast for the morning before going to the gym. when practice came around, it took chaewon every single ounce of her being to not be critical of your every move and to allow the choreographer to point out mistakes, which allowed you to put more of a groove into the dance to fix the problem.

it was odd; it made the choreography more balanced, and you seemed happier with it and yourself. the nights where you had stayed back had lessened, and you were slowly opening up more to her, telling her about the little problems you had throughout the day. which led her to open up to you about the small problems she had throughout the day, and both of you slowly became closer to each other through the happy days.

she noticed a pattern with you. whenever you had expectations placed upon you, you always rebelled and defied those expectations. however, when you had zero expectations, you excelled and thrived in the environment.

until it was in the middle of promotion. you as a part of your family because your family had owed a favor to distract the public. the headline had said

 'the choi's family finally claims LE SSERAFIM CHOI Y/N as the last and final child. Hybe has yet to confirm the family's claim. do you think this is true?'

she noticed that you had run out of the room as soon as you saw that headline with a sick look on your face. all of your members except yunjin looked wide-eyed as her eyes darted around the room for you. chaewon slipped out of the room, walking to the washroom, where she knew where you had always gone to hide.

"it's ok." were the only consoling words. then, a minute later, she noticed that the tremors had settled down. you were looking down with your eyes red, biting the tip of your thumb. "hey," the word she mumbles up as she tilts your chin in her direction, "it's going to be okay." the next thing she knew, your lips were on hers, and she was kissing back.

you had defied every bit of her expectation.

a/n: bro i'm actually so addicted to rhythm hive its a problem. been playing super shy and unforgiven on it so much... unforgiven jp is so good stream it- (AND IT HAS ADO-)

[clubdionysus]

[BAD DECISION #24] Resolutions

warnings: hangovers, showers, fingering, a little verbal degradation, a lot of praise too!!, unprotected sex, mentions of the word daddy lmao, she's bratty!!, mentions of jimin mid-shag, THE bd jk line imo (my dick is in your cunt, not your mouth. answer me.), pretty kisses <33, he finishes in her mouth yum, b feeling a little guilty :(, some much needed honesty between our starluvrs!, the notebook!!, sticky notes, danbi + tae

wc: 15k

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

"Fuck my life," you mumble into a pillow that you know well, but also know isn't your own. Doesn't smell like your fabric softener, and so even though your eyes are firmly shut, you're very aware you're not in your own bed.

You're also warm. Like, heat of a thousand suns, midnight fireworks misfiring and landing right at your feet, kinda warm.

You adjust slightly to ease the duvet off your lower half - but there's an arm looped over your side. It keeps you close. Keeps you warm. Keeps you from getting out of bed. You can't see it, but as your hand rests on it, you know exactly who it belongs to; tattooed and toned in such a way that makes you feel all funny when you remember gripping onto it the night before.

And so you let yourself indulge in the luxury of closed eyes and dreamy thoughts, until sleep steals you away again.

There's a stellar serenity to the not-quite-silence of Jeongguk's room in the mornings that follow Dionysus nights.

He gets moany as he wakes; little huffs and puffs of discomfort as he wiggles around, trying to find the most comfortable position. His aim is always to go back to sleep, so that doesn't have to feel his headaches.

It's a little before midday when Jeongguk finds himself resisting the urge to fall back asleep. He's been laying on his front, like he so often does, one arm beneath his pillow, the other outstretched, resting over your hip.

As he turns his head and nestles his chin into his shoulder, he's greeted by your back; skin bare, wabi-sabi glitter ever-present. How it even manages to be trailing down your spine, he has no idea. Thinks you must be made of stardust, or something like that. Wonders if maybe he was an astronaut in a past life.

Jeongguk adjusts. Keeps his arm hooked over your waist but hugs his chest to your spine. He's just as naked as you are, and his hangover is gonna fuckin' kill him, but he wants to be close to another person. Always eases the pain a little.

As you stir, disturbed by Jeongguk's movements, you mumble something incoherent into his sheets.

"Mhmm?" He hums, eyes shut, not caring to accept the fact he really shouldn't be in bed with you in such a way - but it's his bed.

You mumble again; not really making any words, or forming any sentences. More so just expressing your awareness of it being morning.

"I wish you would close your curtains," you groan, sunlight intruding through your eyelids.

"You've got legs," he hums, voice just as sleepy as yours. "Do it yourself."

You've also got a boy holding onto you for dear life, and a warmth between your bodies that you don't really want to lose.

It's worrying, you think, how much Jeongguk is able to remedy your woes. It just comes with the territory. He's your friend ; expectations are minimal. It's only natural that being around him like this doesn't hold the same weight as it would do with any other boy.

Mentally, you don't love the fact you stayed the night. Makes you feel guilty; like there's someone playing your heartstrings like a harp, but they're painfully out of tune. It's not a nice sound, even though you know it should be.

And yet as Jeongguk holds you a little closer - tighter - it's almost like he's twisting the harp pegs. Making it sound good, even if just for a moment. You'd like to listen to the sound a little while longer.

"They're your curtains," you huff into his sheets. "You do it."

"You're closer to the window," he mumbles into your neck, and the feeling of his lips against your skin gets you remembering the night before; how they'd left trails of desire up your thighs, whispered oh-so-friendly greetings against places that no friend should ever be so well acquainted with, and the home they'd found as they sank between yours. Fuck .

It's not the only reminder. You're not sure if it's the hangover, the fact you're naked, or if Jeongguk is thinking about the night before, too, but there is one thing you're sure of: Jeon Jeongguk is hard.

Part of you feels like you shouldn't mention it. He's the one living inside his body. He'll be aware of it.

And he is. He just doesn't really care. Nothing you haven't felt before, thinks.

Admittedly, it's never been without purpose. Or at least, without excuse. Last night, you'd both been wasted. He wouldn't say he's entirely sober now, and he probably shouldn't drive for a good few hours, but he can't chalk a bad decision up to inebriation, now.

When you groan, still being a belligerent little fucker about his curtains, he laughs.

"Lay on your front," he says. "S'how I block it out."

"Can't," you say, without even caring to try. "Tits."

Jeongguk chirps in surprise. "Tits? You've got tits? Don't think that's true. I've never noticed them."

It would almost be believable if his fingers weren't within touching distance. You encourage them upwards, and let them cup you softly.

The very tips of his fingers lightly ghost over your soft skin, until his touches become more deliberate. Become firmer. Intentional. He's still gentle as he squeezes them, hands warm, smile present.

"Huh," he hums in complete satisfaction, getting exactly what he was after. Just wanted to hold them. "Maybe you do have tits."

"Maybe?" you question, tone dry, a smile on your lips that he cannot see. He knows it's there, though. Knows you enjoy that stupidity of dumb flirting like this. Your fingers squeeze down over his, encouraging him to get a real handful.

The way his body moves behind you, ever so slightly, his hips pushing a little further against your ass, has you wanting to cut the bullshit. There's only one way you want this to end up - and given Jeongguk's tendency to fear death every time he's even remotely horny, you're almost certain he wants it, too.

"Maybe," he grins against your neck, then whispers. "Still an ass guy, though."

"Hmm?" You question his sheer audacity. "Then why aren't your hands on my ass?"

"They can be," he assures you. "Just wasn't sure I was allowed."

You shrug a little letting your back relax into his embrace. "Do what you like."

"Nah, B, that's not how this works," he smiles, lips grazing the top of your spine. "You know that's not how this works."

"How does it work then?"

"You tell me what you want. You ask for it."

"Or," you simper, turning onto your front. His grip eases, showing that you really do have all the control - but you don't want it. You want him to want you.��Crave you. You raise your hips, back arching ever so slightly. "You can try and convince me you really are an ass guy."

He laughs. Does squeeze your ass, but also says, "you don't want that."

You lift your ass a little higher. He squeezes again. Groans. Thinks you'll be the death of him. "No?"

"Is it on the birds?"

You pause for a moment.

"Exactly," he says. Why he's choosing to show restraint, he's unsure. He'd eat your ass at the drop of a hat, if you explicitly asked him to - but you don't, so he won't.

In his heart of hearts, he knows exactly why he's showing restraint.

The second it starts becoming about him, and his pleasures, his desires, that's when the game changes. He knows that you were verging on dangerous territory last night. Remembers calling you baby. Remembers how instead of telling him off, you'd fucking kissed him. Remembers your lips, and how it felt to have his tongue in your mouth, and fuck . Even thinking about it gets him a little too twitchy.

"What if what I want isn't on the birds?" you say quietly.

Jeongguk smiles. Shakes his head, hair tangling on his pillow. Gives you one final squeeze and a tiny open-palmed spank before he pulls himself away from you. "Then you should have been wiser with your birds."

You know he's grinning like a smug little prick, and as much as you want to be annoyed with him, you're too hungover. Can't be wasting energy like that.

From your snug little cocoon, you can hear the faint movements of Jeongguk making himself look presentable. He pulls on a pair of boxers and tosses a shirt over his bedhead, not really caring much for appearances - though all of his monochromatic wardrobe tends to match.

He pays the semi in the front of his boxers no notice, adjusting himself so his cock lays up flat against his lower belly, not favouring an uncomfortable tenting. In all honesty, he'd much rather be naked. Would die for a blowjob.

But he's trying to be good to repent for his bad decisions from the night before.

Opening just one of your eyes as Jeongguk meanders over to the curtains, you watch on as he pulls them shut without even so much as saying a word. As much as he likes to bicker with you, he also prefers it when you're comfortable. Thinks that closing the curtains is the least he can do. Knows his head feels like it's caving in, so imagines yours is, too.

"Thank you," you whisper, a serene smile settling on your lips.

He pulls off the shirt he's worn for all of a minute just because he doesn't like the way the fabric feels around the base of his neck. Infinitely more irritable when he's hungover, Jeongguk just wants to feel comfy; wants the lemmings in his head to stop drilling away his skull. His mouth is so dry he may as well have slept with cotton wool on his tongue.

Just more of the many downfalls that come with taking things a little too far in the sanctuary of Dionysus. Both of you had been drinking to forget the messes made in the year previous. Didn't really work. If anything, it just ensured you started this year on a messy note, too.

You miss the weight of his body beside you as he tells you he's gonna grab some water - but doesn't bother to ask if you want any. He'll just get you some regardless. Knows you'll need it. No matter how much water he forces into your hands throughout the night, you never stay hydrated enough.

Stumbling a little over his feet and the clothes discarded on his bedroom floor from the night before, Jeongguk doesn't bother to look down and check if they belong to you or him. Knows that his bedroom floor really shouldn't have your clothes strewn all over it, yet you seem to have stormed in like a hurricane, disrupting every sense of peace he's ever known. For some reason that he can't quite work out, you spared him from the eye of your storm. Have never shown him anything but kindness.

And so he'll take misplaced garments and the stain of a little glitter in exchange for such a harmonious life.

As he makes his way into the sitting room in just his boxers, Jeongguk ruffles his hair, a yawn escaping his pretty lips, the small silver ring moving ever so gently. He's every bit the image of reckless youth, just with a little bit of boy next door energy to remedy the woes of every girl he's ever dated.

He spots his phone on the floor by the kitchen island, next to a couple of take-out kebab boxes from the night before. Making no effort to check it, Jeongguk walks right on by - not only because he fears what leaning over will do to his very fragile, very hungover head, but also because he doesn't want to have to deal with the fall out of the night before.

He will speak with Jiyeong, just not yet. Not while he feels so delicate.

Grabbing a pint glass from the drying rack, Jeongguk taps the sink into motion, water funnelling out at such a speed it makes him feel a little queasy. He mutters out a curse - and then almost shits himself when a voice mumbles from the living room.

"Shuuush," Jimin drawls. "Sleeping."

Sprawled out across the sofa like a stretching kitten, Jimin looks just as bad as Jeongguk feels - if not, worse . His bare feet rest over the armrest, body face down, head pressed into a pillow.

"Christ," Jeongguk mutters. "Why aren't you in your room?"

"Needed water," Jimin says, as if that explains why he didn't just go back to bed after he'd gotten some - but he did. Just ended up spilling it all over his bed.

Jeongguk isn't the only member of the household who'd drunkenly strewn his clothes all over the floor the night before, and Jimin is paying the price for being so careless, now.

Had fallen asleep in it regardless, but woke up a little while later and was unsure if it was spilt water, or if he'd pissed himself, so had just chosen to migrate to the sofa instead.

"Byeol's still here," Jeongguk says quietly, almost as if he doesn't want Jimin to know.

Truthfully, he sort of doesn't want him to know. Doesn't wanna have to deal with the questions, and the assumptions, and the accusations. He knows that Jimin will jump to conclusions like a five year old on a sugar high in a trampoline park.

"Gonna have to start charging her rent, soon," Jimin just mumbles into the couch. He's too bleary to align his thoughts properly.

If he wasn't so hungover, he might be considering the implications of such a confession from Jeongguk.

See, he worries about Jeongguk - and while he's so happy that it feels the old Jeongguk is returning, it does concern him that he's retracing paths he's already walked. Isn't too sure how things with Hayun began, but knows all too well how it ended.

He fears that history is repeating itself.

It's a concern for another day, though. Not for right now.

And so Jeongguk returns to his room without an interrogation, and sinks back into bed with you. He makes no effort to snuggle in closer, and nor do you, because that's not what this is about. You're a comfort to one another, but are both aware the conventions of a relationship should not be shared between you both.

But then Jeongguk's brain starts doing pretty little pirouettes, and he's thinking about what-if scenarios, and knows that he needs to get out from underneath his duvet.

Kinda gets it now. Gets why you never stay the night. Wonders if maybe it's something that he's affected by, too, and just had never realised.

Jeongguk only ever fucks girls he dating, so it's never been something he's questioned before. With Hayun, he was already head over heels, so it made no real difference. If he fell harder? Faster? So be it.

It's different with you. He's scared he'll fuck things up. You've got a good thing going. Too good to jeopardise.

As he gets up, he moves the water from the table on his side, to the table by yours. Tosses down a sheet of paracetamol tablets, too. The stack of books on his side table hasn't been touched since your first foray into his personal space - not because he doesn't want to read them, but because he simply hasn't had the time.

With work, and Jiyeong, and uni, it feels like he's not really had a moment to breathe. His brain has been in overdrive for weeks now, and he's only just realising it.

Stirring a little, you're thankful to have water close by, even if Jeongguk isn't.

He sits at his desk, back a little curved, slouched into a comfortable position. You don't tell him, but he's got a little tuft of hair sticking up like a daisy sprouting from an overgrown lawn. It moves as he does, delicately shaking as he jots down notes onto some paper. It's been a little while since you last saw him do university work, but there's something so incredibly endearing about it.

He's already downloaded the majority of his notes from his iPad to his desktop, so spins in his chair to toss it down on the bed for you when he hears you sitting up. It lands with a soft thud, unlocked and on his landing page.

"Here," he says. "You can watch youtube or something. I don't mind the background noise."

Turning back before you even have a chance to respond, Jeongguk gets his head down straight away. Ignores the way you looked, glittery shoulders bare, duvet tucked beneath your arms.

He's making notes on an assignment that was due a couple of days ago, winter break seemingly counting for nothing. It really won't take long - just peer reviewing some work - but the less time he has to think about it, the better.

Come February, he'll be done with his studies. It's been years in the making at this point, part-time studying putting him behind his friends when it came to life-progressing achievements. The sooner he has his bachelor's, the sooner it will feel like he's actually accomplished something. There are stairs that Jeongguk wishes to climb, and he's been stuck on this one for what feels like eternity.

You study him for a moment; watch the way his jaw tenses as he muses over the work in front of him, nibbling down on his bottom lip. His lip ring does the thing . There's a hardness to his face. Determination, maybe.

Part of you thinks you should just leave him be, but something feels a little off. He'd woken up holding you and now he doesn't even seem to want to look at you - and that's when the realisation hits .

You're holding him to the standard of someone he isn't. Jeongguk isn't a romantic partner. He's no different to Jimin, or the girl who took you back to her place a couple of months back, or the guy who decided he could only get off if you were bent in the strangest of ways after a few too many drinks at Dionysus. He's someone you fuck.

But he's also your friend.

You suppose Jimin is too, but you've always managed to avoid sleeping in his room.

This is why sharing a bed was so high up on your list of fears; you don't know how to separate intimacy from it. It scares you. The way you're feeling? The horrible pangs of discomfort in your tummy? The anxiety that's consuming you? It's exactly why you don't share beds.

The shirt Jeongguk had been wearing is crumpled at the end of the bed, so you reach down for it. Think that cover is needed. Being naked feels far too vulnerable.

Pulling it over your head, you stand, letting the fabric tumble down your body. His shirts are always big, 'cause he always gets them as large as he possibly can. Just a Ggukism you've grown fond of. One of the many.

You drink as much water as you can, and chug down the paracetamol, half considering a double dose just to rid you of your throbbing head pain. Showers always help, and so does cleaning your teeth for some reason. It's a placebo, you think, as if you're telling yourself you're washing away harmful toxins from your body. Whatever the actual science is doesn't matter. It works. That's all you care about.

When you stand beside him and squeeze his shoulder gently, he turns his head and lets his chin rest on the tops of your fingers. Despite the low lighting, Jeongguk can see glitter all over your skin. The reflections scatter light all around his room, just like a Disco Ball should.

"Morning," he says quietly. "Not fancy watching anything?"

With a shake of your head, you smile. "My head's killing me."

It's the kind of hangover that has you wishing alcohol had never been invented, or at least has you certain you'll never drink vodka again. But you will. Of course, you will. Especially if you keep meeting bartenders that look like Jeongguk.

"Sorry," he offers, as if it's his fault you kept ordering drinks. "I'm a little too good at my job, apparently. Jimin's like Snorlax on the sofa right now."

"In the living room?" You whine.

"Problem?" Jeongguk smiles.

"Wanted to go brush my teeth, sort myself out," you sigh with a bratty little pout.

"He knows you're here," Jeongguk says. Is glad that he's able to do something right every now and again. At least this way you won't have to sneak around. "Will probably be asleep, anyways. He looked worse than both of us."

"Really?" You laugh, finding it hard to believe. Normally you can handle your hangovers pretty well, but it's killing you today.

"Really," he nods, not lifting his chin from his shoulder. "Go, get yourself freshened up. We can order food if you want? I'd kill for jajjangmyeon right now."

"Ugh," you moan, stomach rumbling at the mere thought of food. There's nothing you want more. "This is why we're friends."

"No, we're friends because you like free drinks," he teases, before turning back to his work. "Go. This will only take me ten minutes or so. You can grab a shower if you want - my towel is where it usually is."

"Star," you beam at him. It's a compliment he thinks is far more befitting of you - but he also doesn't realise there's just as much glitter on him as there is on you right now. "Thank you."

Jeongguk just smiles. Looks a little bashful, in that sweet unassuming way he so often does. A little physical separation will be good, you think. Will stop you from overthinking things.

And so you're not sure exactly what possesses you as you grab his towel from the shelf next to his clothes rail, and say, "still counts as revision, by the way. Of the birds, I mean."

"Hmm?" Jeongguk glances back up, eyes wide and doe-like, as if he misheard you. He didn't. Heard you loud and clear. Just wants to be certain he knows what you're talking about. Assumptions don't fare well in situations like these.

You just shrug. Indifference is something you feign far too often to be able to pull it off, anymore. Jeongguk knows your tells. Knows you so well it's ridiculous. Just gets you. Probably is why it's so easy for him to get you all hot and bothered, like you are now. You're the one who decided to wind him up. It should be him that feels flustered.

But how can you not when he looks at you like that ?

His eyes darken a little. Narrow. Look smokey, as he smirks. Lets his tongue toy with his lip ring, before he shakes his head, ridding it of the clusterfuck that comes with how badly he wants you. He can't give in. Not again.

"Go get your shower, trouble."

Oh, how you wish he wouldn't call you trouble.

Funny. He wishes that you wouldn't be trouble. It makes it so hard to resist you.

As you make your way through the sitting room, you're mindful of not waking Jimin up. He's face down on the sofa, snoring lightly, just like Jeongguk said he would be, so you think you'll be safe. Doubt even the sound of the shower starting will wake him up.

You're so familiar with Jeongguk's apartment by now that you know how to angle the bathroom door so it makes no noise when the latch closes shut. You don't lock it, though. Are very deliberate with that.

After all, you really wouldn't mind revising.

Teeth brushed, clothes off, shower on. It's a simple little routine that takes no more than five minutes. Jeongguk will be halfway done with the work he was doing.

You wonder if he's thinking about you.

Thinking about all the times he's been with you in his bathroom. Thinking about how dirty you like to get in the place where you should be getting clean.

The anticipation has you insatiable. Has you thinking of all sorts of outcomes. There's only one definite in these scenarios: Jeongguk joining you. None of this will be fun without him.

You watch the door with bated breath. Are worried that Jimin will wake up needing the bathroom, and not realise the shower is going, and that this whole little stunt will backfire splendidly.

And so you decided to actually make it look like you are just showering.

You turn your back to the door - because it feels far less brazen - and begin to work water through your hair. The water pitter-patters around you, and is so loud that it almost drowns out the click of the door opening.

Almost .

You make no change to what you're doing. If it was Jimin he would have freaked out the second he realised. Instead, you hear the sink tap go, and thank the lord the pipes aren't connected to the shower, so it remains a steady temperature.

Jeongguk tries not to look at you. Stares at himself as he brushes his teeth in the mirror, rinsing away the taste of last night's poison. It's not even been twelve hours since he last showered with you; and yet this one feels entirely different.

Feels like you're hitting a reset button.

You're both aware that this is needed; that you need to fuck within the perimeters of the agreement. Need to separate the intimacy from the acts. That's what this is. That's how he justifies the intense need he has to fuck you. He has to fix what he thinks he could have broken.

Jeongguk gives himself one final look in the mirror. Tries to understand what he's feeling, or what he actually wants, but he's not sure. He just knows that he doesn't want to lose whatever the fuck it is he has with you; your friendship or the sex. Fears that if he lets the uncertainty simmer in his sternum that he'll make the same mistakes that he did with Hayun.

Pushing a hand through his hair, Jeongguk lets out a deep sigh. You don't hear it. Just continue staring at the rivulets racing down the tiles. Wonder why he's taking so long.

It's been just over a month of a temporary pause on the birds. Not much time at all. It really isn't as much of a huge deal as you're both telling yourselves it is - but of course you are.

It's a hamartia you share; shouldering the weight of relationships that have been put down by other people.

You just don't realise you're playing tug of war, now, each wanting to take the 'blame' for things going wrong - when they haven't even gone wrong, yet. It's so dumb. So painfully, tragically, idiotic.

Neither of you have really been thinking with much logic since Jeongguk kissed you through your orgasm and you through his. It's like you stole each other's oxygen, and your brains are paying the price, now.

He's quiet as he joins you in the shower, the tips of his fingers on your hips to scoot you a little out of his way.

You don't speak. He faces away from you. Grabs the shampoo, and holds it over his shoulder for you. Part of you feels like he should be the one to crack and talk first.

He joined you.

But you invited him in.

He locked the door behind himself and confined you both to the trap laid by you .

Both as bad as one another; and so of course as you start to talk, so does he. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Jeongguk laughs. Decides to not let you go first. If this is gonna be just about sex, then he's gonna take on the role that so often falls upon him in times like these.

Turning so that his chest is to your back, Jeongguk lets his hands grip your waist just above the curve of your hip. His hands are strong, but his grip is gentle. Soothing. His touch, to a degree, confirms that he wants this; wants things to be how they were.

"What are we revising, B?" he says quietly; cautiously. He doesn't think you should be too loud. Had to walk past a sleeping Jimin in order to reach the bathroom. Doesn't want to risk waking him.

His deft palms stroke up your sides, warm and welcoming.

And as you raise to your tippy toes? Lean forward? Rest your forearms against the tiles, back arched for him? Ass so close to his cock that it takes everything in himself not to just line himself up and sink into you?

It's all so fucking obvious.

His palms squeeze . Pull you closer.

"You're the academic genius," you smile. Jeongguk loves the way he can always hear it in your tone. "You tell me."

"So much ground to cover. Exam season's coming up," he muses quietly, a hand on your ass, the other stroking up and down your back. It really is gonna be exam season by the end of the month. He's not lying. The hand that had been tenderly cossetting your spine follows the curve of your body, until he's got your ass in either hand.

His constant reminders of how much of an ass guy he is repeat in your head. You wonder what this is doing for him; if it gets him harder than when he worships your tits.

The pads of his fingers sink into your firm flesh, manipulating your ass to move just how he wants it to. You roll your eyes, a smile firmly in place, and sigh. It's soft and melodic to Jeongguk's ears, so he smiles, too.

"Important part of exam prep," he tells you. "Need to make sure you cover all the bases."

He doesn't get this view of you all too often. Loves your pussy, but Christ . He is an ass guy. Thinks he'll die if you don't let him eat it at least once (though he's almost positive that once would be enough to convert you, too).

"My ass isn't on the birds," you remind him as his thumb strokes over the tight muscle of yours that he's yet to experience. Applies a little pressure. Makes you gasp. Doesn't go any further. Knows better. You only start breathing again when he pulls it away - and bizarrely enough, you find yourself a little bit disappointed . He corrupts your sense of desire, just like you corrupted his.

"You're right," he acknowledges. "So tell me what is, B. Tell me what we've gotta revise."

You're smug as you let your body lean a little further into the wall, ass still in his grip. The water continues to cascade down, but the shower head is angled away; hitting the glass door and drowning out the sound of your conversation.

A little less trusting of the sound levels than Jeongguk is, you remind him of his housemate.

"Jimin's only in the next room," you say quietly.

"So?" Jeongguk says, still caressing the cheeks of your ass. You can feel his cock resting between them. "Let him hear."

Jeon Jeongguk is trouble wrapped in a silky bow, you decide. Is going to hell, and will drag you right down with him.

And yet as he holds his solid cock by the base and runs it between your folds, you find yourself very willing to be taken along with him. Wet and ready, you know it must feel good for him, 'cause it feels fucking divine for you.

"Also," he adds, sinking his middle finger into your warm hole instead of his cock. There's sin laced into his words, a sultry smile on his lips. "Don't talk about Jimin when I'm touching your pussy. It's rude."

The way you whine is enough to let him know that you understand the message loud and clear, but Jeongguk doesn't think it's good enough. Sinks a second finger into your cunt. A third.

"Who are you gonna talk about? Huh? While I'm fucking your cunt with my hand, who are you gonna talk about?"

Oh .

"Jimin?" You tease, knowing that it will just make him pump his thick fingers into you even faster - and he does. Oh, it's heaven . So fucking good . The sounds your pussy makes for him are unchaste; lewd. Jeongguk thinks you sound better than anything he's ever heard before. Hates that the shower is muting you.

"It's like you want me to fuck you so hard you can't talk at all," He rasps, his spare hand gripping the back of your neck, impatient and needy for you to comply.

He needs the green light for him to fuck himself into you. Doesn't care for anything else.

"Maybe I do."

"Maybe isn't good enough."

"Fine," you relent, ignoring the fact shower sex isn't technically a bird - but it is what you want. "Fuck me."

"Yeah?" He mewls. Scissors his fingers inside you. Gets you all whimpery.

"Yeah," you beg, which suits him just fine. He wants you like this. Wants you needy.

"I'm gonna be mean," he tells you gently, as he pulls his fingers out of you, knowing that he needs to be far less romantic than he was the night before. Absolutely cannot call you 'baby' again. His hands roam up your soaked body, the hand that had been on your neck now stroking your wet hair through his fingers. You nod, but he repeats it, 'cause he needs to know you know. "I'm gonna be mean, B. Not as mean as I can be, but meaner than you've had me. Okay? What's the word?"

"Chess," you simply say, voice serene and so blissfully unaware of what's in store for you.

He presses a kiss against the top of your spine. Reaches up to cup your boobs. Lets his thumb swipe across your hard nipples. Smiles when you get a little moany. Kisses down on the nape of your neck when your hands come to join his, encouraging his grip on your chest.

"Chess," he repeats. "Second I say something you don't like, you say it, okay?"

You're so intrigued. Mild-mannered, a friend to all, charming as they come is Jeongguk. Mean doesn't seem like it's a part of his vocabulary. He's always so gentle with you - but he does have a silver tongue. Normally when he gets too horny for his own good, he forgets his filter and just says what comes to mind. You always like that part.

Often, he doesn't realise he's doing it; but he's trying to be controlled today. Restraining himself, even if it seems like maybe he isn't. This way, he'll be on top of his thoughts. Won't let things get too far.

Jeongguk isn't sure that what he considers 'mean' aligns with what you consider to be mean. Knows you've got a bratty side, but doesn't really know the dynamics of any of your past partners. Doesn't really think it's his place to ask.

You turn to look over your shoulder, and are greeted with the most earnest eyes you've ever seen in your whole damn life.

"Mean words?" you check.

He nods. "Just as many nice ones, though."

"And no mean hands?"

There's a change in your voice when you ask that. A drop in your eyes. Jeongguk isn't sure what to make of it. Squeezes your waist. Presses a kiss to your shoulder. "Never mean hands."

Facing away again, you smile. An ex was a little too rough with you without checking your limits before, and so you always like to make sure. Jeongguk has never given you those vibes, but you're also aware that this? Right now? This is all about sex. This isn't about who you are as people.

"Give me your worst, Starfucker."

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. Tries not to smile. He likes it when you call him that. Makes his tummy feel all discombobulated. Starfucker by name, star fucker by nature.

He doesn't let you know how much he likes it. Just shakes his head. Lines himself up.

You gasp into the steam-filled air as the tip of his cock pushes between the meeting of your puffy, wet, lips. He's slow . God, it makes you want him even more.

A hand on your waist while the other grips your ass, Jeongguk's strength keeps you in place. His fingers are tight against your skin and the sensation is overwhelming, as if his fingers are matchsticks and your skin is the paper they strike against.

The lack of prolonged warm-up makes you a little tighter than he's experienced before; the position of your closed legs only adding to this.

Jeongguk groans as he pushes into you. The feeling burns in the most pleasurable of ways; your pussy willing and wanting to accommodate his size.

You reach behind to let your nails dig into his ass. Encourage him to push further into you as you try and hide a laboured whine, but he's too big to pretend like he doesn't exist.

"Hmm?" Jeongguk hums quietly, a smile on his face despite the furrowing of his brows. It's a miracle you can't see him in this moment, because it's the kind of face you know you'd quite like to fall in love with. "You good, there, B?"

You nod. Laugh so gently Jeongguk thinks you really must have fallen from the heavens above. Adjusting your body, you sink back further onto him, letting him penetrate you even deeper.

There's a strain to your voice, as if you're trying to hide a moan, as you rasp, "Yeah. Just getting comfy. You?"

Your hips roll back against him. He grips your ass a little harder.

He can't decide if he wants to lean forward and keep your back pressed to his chest, or if he wants to watch the way you bounce your ass against him. Wishes he could have both. "Yeah. Grand. Really good, actually."

He's putting in minimal effort, more so controlling the pace of your hips as you work yourself up and down his shaft. The movements are small; controlled. They're soft, and simple. Uncomplicated.

Jeongguk loses himself in the way it feels to be inside of you. His hips begin to pick up the slack. The stable momentum is welcome by you, but he's not really aware he's doing it. Just letting his body do what feels right. Is too busy thinking about how much he wants to kiss you.

Always the same fuckin' thing.

"God, B," he whines instead, as a way to distract his mouth.

He wants to hear the way you sound in his mouth, feel the vibration of your lips against his, but he knows last night was a one-off. He won't try for it again.

Sure, it makes him think he might die, but it was one of your firm boundaries that you only relented on when you were drunk. Likely a bad decision in your eyes, he doesn't wanna put you in any uncomfortable positions.

Or at least that's how his brain portrays it to himself.

Totally isn't because of that pesky fear of rejection he likes to blame everything on making an appearance. He's never been scared of you. Never feared rejection from you. And yet he's holding back.

So he makes up for it in other ways.

Hips fervent, Jeongguk doesn't care much for anything except the way you feel wrapped around him, and the little hums of pleasure that are leaking from your lips.

Jeongguk also doesn't care for niceties. Has you within his grasp, and never wants to lose it. Wants sink his teeth into your neck and poison you with immortality; make sure you're forever tied to him.

Said he'd be mean. Thinks he should deliver on it.

"Shit," he husks, hips slapping up against your ass. The sound of wet spanks echo into the room. "You've been so desperate for my cock, haven't you? Desperate and needy, just waiting for me to fuck you again."

"Gguk-"

"No," he grunts into your ear, as he pushes you further up against the wall. The arch in your back deeps; his grip on your ass does just the same. "Address me properly."

Properly . Are you supposed to know how?

Jeongguk doesn't even know how he wants you to address him. Just knows when you say the right thing, he'll know it's the one.

" Daddy ?" You question, 'cause it's the only thing that can come to mind. You hate that you've said it. Admittedly, with his cock fucking into you, the ridge of his head massaging against your most sensitive spot, the name doesn't sound all that bad. Still, it would never be your first choice.

"Daddy?" He laughs. Like, really laughs. It's the kind of laugh you're used to hearing when you're lounging around in his room, doing nothing much other than existing together. His laughter quietens and then his lips are on your neck. Teeth grazing. Tongue teasing. His voice is gritty as he speaks. "I'd be paying for this cunt if I was your Daddy , wouldn't I? But look at you. You're giving it up for free for me. Slutting yourself out for my cock, aren't you?"

Fuck .

You nod. Whine. " So slutty for you."

His pace slows a little. Burrows a little further. Harder. Teeth dig a little deeper into your neck.

"Say it again."

Your breathing is shallow. Jeongguk loves the way it sounds. Is obsessed with how your breaths get even more erratic when his hand dips down to toy with your pussy. Not your clit - he'll keep you waiting for that - but anywhere and everywhere else that could be mildly stimulating for you.

His forefinger and middle finger press down on either side of your entrance, where his cock is spreading you open. He ruts, once, twice. Smirks.

"Did I fucking stutter?" Jeongguk snarls. You can hear how tense his jaw is; can imagine how pretty he looks. You fucking whine for him. Are so out of your own control it's embarrassing. "Say it again. Tell me what you are."

You let your head tilt back, and it takes everything in him not to leave a mark on your neck with his mouth. Jeongguk knows he's in control of the situation, but it feels like he's got none at all.

"A slut," you mewl as his lips press against the base of your neck.

"Whose?" He says, nipping his teeth against your skin as he continues to thrust up into you. You want him to graze. To leave a mark. Know that he won't.

"Yours."

The way you pant as you say it has Jeongguk feeling all sort of fucked up. This is just sex, yeah, but fuck . He underestimated just how much he'd like hearing that.

"Can barely fuckin' fit my cock inside you, can you?" He grits. "You sure your pussy is made for me?"

Now this does make you pout. It's not 'chess' worthy, but it has you wanting to prove yourself; prove that his cock belongs inside you. Has you wanting revenge .

You roll your hips back. Pick the pace up for him. Turn your chin to your shoulder and look back at him. The look on his face - heavy-lidded eyes, and blown out pupils, mouth ajar, tongue toying with his lip ring - would suggest your pussy is perfect for him.

"Is it not?" you almost plead, sotto voce , eyes as wide as your lips are pouty. "Tell me it's not."

Jeongguk's heavy-lidded eyes don't lift as he smirks. He looks like absolute sin. He wondered how long it would take for you to turn bratty.

"How does such a tight little cunt take me so well, huh?" He praises. "How'd you do it?"

And then he takes control back. Rams his cock into you; fills you to the hilt. You're almost certain he's hitting your cervix. He's so big. So big , and fat , and filling . You've never had a cock like his before. It almost hurts, but the pleasure always takes precedence.

How he expects you to reply when you can barely fucking moan coherently is beyond you.

One of his hands drops from your waist and sinks down to the front of your pussy. He knows it well, now. Knows how to get you creaming. Finally applies a little pressure to the hood of your clit. Dainty little circles that couldn't be further apart from the solid thrust of his cock into your hole.

He's a man of juxtapositions and the way he fucks you is no exception.

An overwhelming pleasure takes hold of your every atom; cosmic in the way the feeling transcends through you. He feels it, too. Feels fucking euphoric. Feels unlike any fuck he ever normally indulges in.

That's the thing about fucking you; there's no weight of a relationship, just a pursuit of feeling good. He's never had that with anyone else.

"Gguk, I'm gonna-"

"What?" He cuts you off. Laughs. Oh, it is mean. You like it. "Cum? No. You're not."

He doesn't relent. Keeps going. Your legs are weak from the diversion of your senses, a state of fucked out bliss taking over you. All you can feel is pleasure; butterflies in your veins, fire and ice on your skin.

"I'm so close."

"Don't care," he husks. Stalls his cock. Stops thrusting. Keeps rubbing your clit like he was put on this earth to worship you. "You're not gonna cum."

"You're gonna make me," you whine.

"Am I?" He teases.

But then you do something that surprises him; you pull away. Let him slide out from your swollen pussy. Stand up straight. Turn to face him, chest heaving. His cock is soaked. You want it in your mouth.

"No," you say, voice as strong as it can be. The change in your tone amuses Jeongguk. Takes him off guard. "You sure you've done this before? I could give you pointers."

He tilts his head. Looks you dead in the eyes, a smirk forming on his ever-charming face. There's something lewd about how his jaw hangs slack as he brazenly strokes his cock.

"I had you squirting on my fucking fingers last night," he reminds you with an arrogant laugh. "Pointers? Really ?"

You nod. The indifference you're feigning is just as transparent as it always is, but Jeongguk plays into it. He likes this. Likes how you're fighting back.

He encroaches on your space until your back is against the tiles, and you're suffocating in all that his; his provocative charm, and tender touches.

"Pointers," you repeat, lips all pouty as you give him a pathetic little look of sympathy. "Yanno. Tips . It will help you fuck better."

He knows he fucks well. Knows you're saying shit just to wind him up.

For some reason, it makes him throb .

"You keep saying how tight my cunt is," you carry on, all docile, as if your hand hasn't just wrapped itself around his cock. "But you're not really big enough for me to feel anything," you mewl with a sorry little pout.

Now if there's one thing Jeongguk's sure of, it's his size. If anything he's too big. He glances down. Your tiny hands can't even fully wrap around him. Wet hair sticking to your skin, the way you smirk is sin.

"Hey, if you want, I'm sure Jimin can give you some tips, too," you shrug, putting that final nail in your coffin. "He knows how to fuck me."

Jeongguk's heard enough. Knows he's a better fuck; but still feels the need to prove it. The way you get inside his head frustrates him so much. He doesn't know why he feels so insatiable, or how he's unable to ever just fucking control himself around you.

Dipping slightly, he grabs the back of your thighs and hoists you up the wall a little bit further, leveraging you into just the right position for him. Legs wrapping around his back, you can't help but giggle a little. Tell him to be careful - "It's wet. Don't fall." - and are met with a curt reminder.

"I know how to fuck, B" he grits, lining himself up, and sinking back into you. Foreheads pressed together, you both gasp from the familiar sensation. It's so good. So satisfying.

He wastes no time fucking himself up into you, his hips just as erratic as they always are. The sound of it all makes Jeongguk think he's losing his mind. Wants the shower off cause he wants to hear you better, but knows there's no way he can even chance it. Not with Jimin next door.

"Did he get you like this?" Jeongguk scathes. He looks angry, but you know he's anything but. He's enjoying this. Enjoying you. "Did he turn you into a pathetic, slutty mess for him? Did he get you like this ?"

You whine, because it's all you can do.

"No," Jeongguk hisses. "No he didn't fucking get you like did, did he, huh?"

Brows pinched together, the familiar splendour of an orgasm is greeting you once more. You can't fucking speak. Can't do anything. Just let the sensation take hold, and shake your head.

"My dicks in your cunt, not your mouth. Answer me. Who gets you like this?"

"You," is all you can whimper. "You get me like this, Gguk."

"Yeah," he nods, a softness returning to him. His eyes; that's where you see it. What once were dark and narrow are now soft and chocolatey. Pretty . So so pretty. Full of so many stars. "I get you, don't I, B?"

If only he knew how true that statement really is. If only you could realise how true it is.

He gets you in all senses of the word; gets you coming undone, gets what you need, gets every little part of your complexities. Knows you and understands you in a way that feels almost intrusive - and yet so overwhelmingly welcome.

You nod, because at this point, you're so close you could cry . All you want to do is cum for him.

"You're so pretty when you play nicely," he praises as hips slow. There's a crease between your brows, your wanton gaze never easing up. He thinks you look angelic. Can't really control his words. Feels like you're controlling him. "Makes me wanna kiss you. Pretty little well-done kisses for my pretty little fucktoy."

Oh, fuck . That one? Yeah. That one does it for you.

One of the hands gripping his shoulders falls to your pussy, a little sore from how well he's been fucking you, but desperate for relief. He doesn't stop you. Just watches you as you get yourself there. His hips are so slow. He wants to feel it.

"Please," you beg . "Show me how well I've done."

It kind of takes Jeongguk by surprise. He thought kissing would be off the cards. It's sort of why he went down the mean route. Didn't realise how much it would just make him wanna praise you, instead.

"Hmm?" He simpers, nose nudging against yours. You've missed it so much. Like it when he fucks you from behind, but are far too obsessed with the way his nose nestles into yours.

"Please, Koo," you whisper. "Please kiss me."

That's it . That's the name that really gets him. 'Jeon' will have him hard, and any kind of title, really, will get him a little horny, but what makes him weak ? It's when you're soft for him. Makes him feel more masculine than any other name could. God it makes him wanna fuck you raw until he cums. Always pulls out, but fuck . You get him primal. Get him wanting to fill you up with his cum, all nice and warm.

"You want them?" He husks against your lips, pressing down ever so softly.

His kiss is light. Tender. Delicate. Everything he hasn't been since he started fucking you. Just a single one, that leaves you wanting so much more.

"I've been so good," you bargain, hoping he'll think you've earned more than just one. It's a dangerous game you're playing. This was supposed to be about sex. Just sex. Was supposed to undo the wrongs of the night before.

But as Jeongguk smiles, creases form beneath his eyes. He nods. Cups your jaw with his hands. "So good for me, B. Such a good girl."

The pace at which you're touching yourself increases. You're so close. He knows this. Can hear it in your breathing. Waits it out. Waits for the whines; for the throbbing of your walls around him, for the digging in of your nails to his neck. When it happens, Jeongguk thinks he might die.

The sensation washes over you, his thick cock just as painfully desperate to fill you as your pussy is to milk him. The orgasm is fast, and hard, and over far too soon. Gets you drowsy. Pliant. Pathetic.

God, he loves it. Loves the switch that comes from watching you come undone.

"Deserve more kisses," is all you mumble before Jeongguk presses his lips to yours. He retracts. Repeats. Again. Again, again, again. Dainty and docile, his lips barely ghost yours before he finishes them. He's deliberately making you crave him.

And you know he won't give you any more than this; so you offer a compromise.

"Will you cum in my mouth?"

Jeongguk nods into a tender, final, kiss. "Yeah."

He eases you off of his cock, and is gentle as you get to your feet. Knows your legs are a little shaky, so keeps a hold of your hand as you get to your knees.

All you want is to take him in your mouth. He's so big, and covered in you. The least you can do is clean him up. 

You look up at him, mascara smudged on your glittery cheeks, eyes wide and wanting as your lips part. Your tongue kitten licks against him; his head, his slit, his frenulum. Tasting yourself on his cock makes you a little feral. The way your tastes compliments one another is delectable . Mouthwatering. 

So docile and willing to please, Jeongguk wants you choking on his cock - but he knows better.

"Uh-uh." He smiles so fondly as he looks down at you that you almost think you could cry. His hand strokes your cheek, while the other replaces the tiny hand of yours that was on the base of his cock. "That's not on the birds, now, is it, B?"

You shake your head. Pout. You wanna suck it so badly.

"Mouth open," he whispers. You do as you're told, and wait patiently for him to rest himself on your pouty bottom lip. "That's it. You have any idea how gorgeous you are, like this?"

And here he is, you think.

This is the Jeongguk you're used to; the one who forgets his filter on the verge of an orgasm.

Lips hanging slack, Jeongguk's grip on his cock is tight. The way he jerks himself off is something you're well acquainted with now, but you're just as mesmerised each and every time; how engorged and angry the shiny red tip of his cock looks, the darling vein that runs down the length of his shaft, how precum pools around his slit, all messy and needy for you.

For all he can taunt you about how desperate you always are for him, you can do just the same back. Your desire is met, matched, mirrored.

He's obscene as he cums; celestial in the way he bites down on his bottom lip and gives a pained nod, chest heaving, the muscles in his tummy beginning to tense in the way they always do. You neglect to look at his cock as he unloads himself into your mouth, favouring his eyes, instead. He can barely keep them open; forces himself to because there's no way he won't squirrel away the memory of this.

"Pretty little mouth," is all he manages to whine. "Gonna fuckin' ruin it."

You're so pliant for him. Yielding to his needs; his desires. You'll do whatever he wants if it means you get him cumming - and you do. He cums so hard. Unloads spurt after spurt of hot cum onto your tongue and down your throat.

You put it down to a power complex. Weak men are your favourite kind of men.

At least you tell yourself that, as if you don't adore the way it feels when Jeongguk is a little more assertive with his wants; a little more aggressive .

He gets Mars in his eyes every now and again, and while you've never felt the full brunt of it - he always reins himself back in - you are intrigued by it.

You wonder if he and Mars used to be friends; if Jeongguk will ever let him take over for a night. You could be Venus for him, if he wants. Would be a dangerous game to play, mind you. Their moments together were masked in secrecy, and once the blanket was lifted, their affair was no more. Would be an awful shame for you both to suffer the same fate.

And so don't entertain the idea. Don't tempt him.

Seeing what you could be isn't worth losing what you are.

What you are, as Jeongguk holds your hand to pull you back up, twisting the shower head so it rains down on you once more, is friends .

Just a little overly familiar friends.

He likes making you cum, and you're a pretty big fan of returning the favour, but once post-nut clarity kicks in, you're both just idiots who are a little too brazen for their own good.

It's proven in the way you behave in the moments following; how you ask for the conditioner and he gives you shaving foam instead, how you hog the shower until he quite literally has to pick you up and move you out of his way. There's fun to be had in the comfort of your best friend; the ability to be naked and not sexual at all.

Then again, it's not like you're ever like this with Danbi. Not like Jeongguk would even dream of sharing a shower with Jimin.

It's weird. You know it's a little weird.

You like it, though. Don't want to lose it.

Jeongguk is the first to leave the bathroom.

Jimin is right where he was half an hour previously. Still snoring, still ignorant to the fact Jeongguk just railed you in the shower they share.

Taking a moment to gather your things and slip Jeongguk's shirt back on, you check yourself over in the mirror that Jeongguk wiped down a little bit with his hand. There's a blush to your cheeks, and a vibrancy to your eyes that you haven't seen in a while. It's like your hangover never existed... but then you're thinking about it again, and the unpleasant lull of a headache seems to return.

Sex, as it turns out, is just a distraction, not a cure.

When you arrive in his room, Jeongguk is flopped on his bed, his back pressed into his sheets, looking up at his phone. He's just in boxers, hair wet, lip ring shining in the light. There's a perplexed look to him, so you flop down too.

Knowing you'll ask, he passes his phone over. On the screen is an instagram profile of a guy you don't know - but recognise his display picture was taken in the gym that Jeongguk frequents. An uncomfortable knot ties itself in your tummy. Where you once felt giddy from the attention given to you by Jeongguk, you feel guilt.

Tapping on his icon, you open up his story and are confronted by the very thing that had made Jeongguk look a little miffed.

It's Jiyeong, that's for certain. The dude she's kissing? You've no idea. The caption across the middle of the photo is childish. 'Come get your girl, bro'.

You lock the phone and pass it back. He just tosses it onto the rug beside his bed.

"Ugly font," you simply say. It's that hideous, spindly cursive one. You're not sure why anyone chooses it. Would rather die than willingly post it to your story.

Jeongguk agrees. Doesn't smile, though. Isn't really sure what to do or what to make of it.

He doesn't really care that it's happened. Literally fucked you as soon as he could without moral complexities. Even if he wanted to be upset, he'd be, like, the world's biggest hypocrite.

It's the public humiliation that really frustrates him. She's done it last night in Dionysus, and he can't help but feel like she orchestrated this, too. Doesn't wanna be a laughing stock. Hates that he'll get to the gym and people will know his business.

His silence doesn't convey this.

Just makes you think he's disappointed. Sad. Upset that she's with someone else.

Makes you think that maybe the sex hadn't been about you.

You're rigid beside him, unable to move, not wanting to breathe. There's a weight on your chest, like a hundred and one books dictating the impact of having a lover who strays. You could write a few. Add them to the pile.

Jiyeong's done wrong, yes, granted. Did him wrong first.

But Jeongguk fucked you before he even sobered up from the night out. It all feels sordid.

In the moment it had safe and secure, yet now it feels illicit and ill-willed. Dirty. Nasty. Foul.

You're no better than the girls who used to climb into Seokjin's bed and use the lube you bought to get themselves ready for him . You're every single girl you have blocked on instagram because you couldn't trust yourself not to stalk their profiles looking for signs of him.

You've been cheated on. This is different granted - Jeongguk has always been single - but it still makes you feel like you've done something wrong .

The silence you let linger is unusual. You normally always fill the space. Jeongguk turns his head to get a read on you, and notices the tremble of your bottom lip instantly.

"Hey," he says softly.

Oh, it's horrible. You feel rotten from the inside out.

But he's so nice.

"B?" He implores when you don't respond. A tiny tear trickles down your temple and tickles your earlobe before getting lost in your hair.

Jeongguk sits up now. Turns his body towards yours. Keeps a palm pressed down into the sheets to keep his balance, but brings his other hand to rest just above your belly button. Rocks you a little.

"Talk to me, B," he says, all thoughts of Jiyeong obliterated from his head. Could not give a shit about whatever has happened with her. You take priority.

You always do.

You just shake your head. Dab at your cheeks with the heels of your palms. Jeongguk knocks them away. Wipes away your tears for you with his thumb, instead.

"Hey?" he whispers so tenderly it's as if he's scared his voice could bruise you. He lifts his palm from your torso, fearful that maybe it's his touch that has you like this. Worries that he did something wrong. "What is it? Was it the shower? Hey?"

Yes, you think. It was the shower.

"I'd never do anything I didn't think you wanted," he panics. He's always so firm with consent and making sure you can tap out, but now he's anxious that he missed a signal in the midst of being mean. He doesn't know what to do. "Please tell me what I did."

"No," you breathe out when you realise the conclusions he's jumping to. "No, Gguk, God. No. Not you. I just... I feel really bad."

Jeongguk could cry from relief. Think he might, as he asks, "about what?"

You shrug. Look up at the birds. Pout. The pity parade is in full swing. "I set you two up, and the second you're done, I jump into bed with you?"

The way you sneer at yourself is so cruel that Jeongguk doesn't quite understand it. You both made this choice. He's just as much to blame as you are. He looks at you, and doesn't recognise the contempt in your features. You're not looking at him, for it's not directed his way. This is all on you. You're the villain in this story, you think.

Jeongguk pauses for a moment. Tries to figure you out. Flops his back down onto his bed. Reaches for your fingers and holds them against his chest with both of his hands, like he's wrapping you up in white flags. It's okay. You don't protest.

"I don't know if this will make a difference," he admits, finally being candid about his feelings. "But I wanted to end things weeks ago."

You're sure Seokjin said the exact same thing to his mistresses.

"So why didn't you?"

Jeongguk takes a second to muster up his courage. There's nothing to be scared of. It's just you.

And so he's honest.

"You," he says quietly.

"Me?"

He nods. "Was scared. Thought you'd be disappointed in me..."

You glance over to him now, and are shocked by how sincere he appears. "What?"

"You just... You were doing so well with birds, B. I was lagging behind and I thought that if I did the bird then we'd both be well ahead and I just... I know how much you wanted me to do them, too. I do want to do them. She just... wasn't the right fit for me."

The best way Jeongguk can think to describe it is switching to mittens after wearing gloves all winter. There's always gonna be something missing.

But that means admitting you're the gloves in this situation.

He's hardly gonna admit that to himself, let alone anyone else.

"Gguk," you say, a little exasperated, wishing he'd have just been straight with you from the get-go. You know you encouraged it, but you never meant to make him feel like he didn't have a choice. "I'm so sorry. Please, don't ever think you have to do things just for my benefit. Your birds are for you. I'm so so sorry."

Jeongguk just shrugs, his shoulders rustling against his sheets. "Was a learning experience. I admit the Jiyeong thing is a bit messy, and I don't love feeling like a shitty person, but you did nothing wrong here, okay? This one's on me."

He doesn't let you argue against him. Absolves you of blame, and won't hear otherwise. You don't fully accept this, and still feel a little terrible, but hangovers always amplify it.

But now that apologising is a thing, Jeongguk feels like he should say sorry for being mean in the shower.

You think he's ridiculous.

"You were so nice to me," you tease him, before doing potentially the worst impression he's ever heard. " Oh B, you're sooooo pretty." Jeongguk just rolls his eyes. Is pleased you're smiling again. "I'm gonna think you're in love with me if you aren't careful."

"I literally called you a slut?" Jeongguk laughs, throwing his towel at you as he stands to get the water. It hits you square in the face, but you just bundle it into your lap, a big grin plastered all over your face. It's like you're bubbling over now that he's remedied your woes; so chatty and happy. He likes it so much when you're like this. "You can be pretty and the bane of my life all at the same time."

With a shrug, you lie back down, his quilt a comfortable haven. The birds above you gently waltz, the air from Jeongguk's a/c encouraging them to twirl together.

"Been called worse names and not been given an orgasm," you assure him.

"Well next time I'll be meaner," he promises. "And I deliberately won't make you cum."

You gasp. "You'd never do such a thing."

"You wanna bet?"

A grin settles on your lips. "A little."

He just laughs. "Shame it isn't on a bird."

As if you've really been following that rule.

"Well, why don't we make some more?" you suggest, not really thinking much of it.

"More?" he questions.

He sees the lack of birds as a sign of accomplishment; something to be celebrated. Doesn't understand why you'd want to add more.

However, he also knows at this point he likes his life better when you're doing the birds. Feels like he's actually progressing as a person. Plus, it gives him more excuses to fuck you, he figures. Will never say no to that.

"Yeah," you nod. "Like resolutions, almost. Things we wanna get done by the end of the year, just specific to..."

You trail off, unsure of how to phrase it.

"Shagging?" he offers, but you feel it's too brash.

" Personal development ," you counter. "Your fears and mine, but maybe some extra ones thrown in there."

"So that means I can put my own version of your birds up?" He asks, to which you nod.

"Go wild. Forget the planes, just make them birds, now. Although," you muse. "What were the birds?"

Jeongguk absolutely does not want to answer that.

Some of them were a little... unorthodox. All things he's yet to explore, he doesn't feel that confident voicing them out loud. Worries that you won't like them, or might think they're strange.

He's yet to realise there's very little you won't do if you're horny enough - and unfortunately for you (or should that be luckily?) Jeongguk seems to have a way about him that gets you there.

When you're like this, laughing and joking about the intricacies of sex, you're not hot and bothered. It's all just fun and games.

You know the second that his hands are on your body again, you'll melt.

It's why distance is a good idea, you think as you move to sit on his desk chair, taking one of his pillows with you to hug into your chest. Your foot rests on the seat of the chair, an anklet catching in the light, chin resting on your knee. You don't wanna encourage any more repeats of the night before. Or this morning. Or the inevitable evening that will follow if you stay in his room all day wearing his clothes.

It's just one of his things ; like sweet perfume and pretty wrists. Anklets and girls wearing his glasses. Add wearing his shirt to any of those?

Yeah. He's done for.

It will get him firm .

He's not been entirely soft all day - but he is incredibly good at holding himself back. Enjoys spending time with you without the pressure of sex. Not his fault he just wants it all the goddamn time.

As long as you don't get too playful, he'll be fine. The second you give him the eyes - those ones he likes so much that you don't even realise you're doing - he'll probably die.

"Any hard limits?" he asks.

"I don't know," you consider out loud. You've never considered yourself vanilla, but there are still certain roads you haven't been down; some you don't care for. "Fisting?"

Jeongguk snorts. Looks down to his hand that's resting in his crossed lap. The other is firmly pressing into the sheets behind him, keeping his back supported. "Okay."

The way he says it, almost like he thinks you've told the biggest lie since Milli Vanilli existed, has you recoiling a little. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugs. Tries to hide his smirk. Fails miserably. "Well, it's just... We're not that far off."

"Sorry?"

Jeongguk resists the urge to say 'forgiven'. Doesn't wanna sound like Jimin. The way you're looking at him really does have him wanting to wind you up, though.

"Tell me I'm wrong," he says, and then raises three fingers, as if he's giving you a fucking Boy Scout salute. "Halfway ther-"

He's cut off with a pillow hitting him in the face. You are, for no good reason, mortified. It's your pussy they've been inside.

"It's true!" He protests with a laugh. "I'm not saying I want to, I'm just saying of all the things to have limits for..."

"You are not punching my vagina!" You hiss whisper at him.

"Well, I wasn't gonna be violent about it!"

"Good!"

"Great!

"Fine!"

"So... no fisting?"

"No," you laugh. "No fucking fisting."

He's not gonna take it as a challenge. Not gonna try and change your mind. Really isn't interested in it. Agrees that it really would feel a little too aggressive for the way he normally fucks you.

Normally . Jeongguk laughs to himself when he realises what he's just thought. You've not fucked enough times for there to be a 'normal'.

"What about you?" You deflect. "Any limits? Cucking? Ass play-"

"Woah, woah," he says. "Give me a chance to think, B."

"Sorry," you say shyly.

"Don't wanna be cucked," he says. "Switch it round, and like, I was fucking someone while their husband or whatever watched? Think I could get down with that," he says.

"Well, I'm not getting married any time soon, so."

"Exactly. It wouldn't work for us," he says, not even considering exploring it without you. "Now, ass play on the other hand?"

"Hmm?" You grin a little bit. You both know he's interested in it. Doesn't ever bloody shut up about arses.

"I like it," he shrugs. "Nothing, like... too extreme. Rimming, fingers, stuff like that? Yeah. I like it. Giving and receiving."

"Interesting," you nod, jotting these preferences down on a pad of sticky notes on his desk. He says nothing when you pick up his glasses and put them on. Knows you won't be able to see jack shit through them. Puts a checkmark in the box next to his mental list of things that gets him horny. "Nothing too extreme... Does that write-off pegging?"

He's quiet for a moment. Considers it. Then admits, "it really is one of the planes. Wasn't joking. Never done it... kind of... curious?"

"Curious," you nod. "Cool. I mean it's fine with me."

Jeongguk looks surprised at how quickly you just... agreed. Didn't even have to explain himself. "Really?"

"Yeah?" You laugh. "Gguk, I'm hardly gonna judge you, am I? And anyways, I fuck girls, too. I know my way around a strap."

He coughs. Always forgets, as if he hasn't quite literally seen you leave Dionysus before hand in hand with girls that aren't Danbi. Tries to cover his little splutter. "Good. Uh, I mean. Yeah. Good to know. Do you... you know?"

"Have one?"

He nods.

You shake your head.

"Seokjin," you start, before deciding that his name isn't welcome. "My ex, I mean. He wasn't a fan of... toys? I guess. I don't know. He was so prim and proper. Hated going to grab a condom and being greeted with a cock bigger than his."

Jeongguk laughs. Thinks maybe he'd be intimidated, too. "Okay. Kinda makes sense. Do you have any? Like toys, in general? I've not really ever experimented with them."

Curious how he doesn't mention the literal fleshlight in the drawer next to his dresser. Maybe he will one day. Just not today.

"Just a vibrator," you say without much care. You don't feel shy around him. "Went through a second purge after... my ex. Got rid of everything bedroom-related that he'd touched. So. Yeah. That's it."

He nods. "Well if there's stuff you wanna try in that department... I'd be up for it."

Jeongguk comes to join you by his desk and takes the sticky notes from your possession. He rips the block in half, two even piles now where there once was one. He tosses one of the halves back down to you, and grabs a pen before returning to his bed.

"Write the thing you want to try on the back of them. We'll stick them up so they look blank, then pick them off one by one and get them done," he says.

"It's like the birds all over again," you laugh, but Jeongguk gasps.

"Don't. They'll hear you and get sad you're replacing them."

"I could never replace them," you feign offence to his accusation. "I love our kids."

"And yet I'm the one with sole custody," he teases.

"Not for long," you assure him, nodding toward the three piled on his desk. "I'll report you for neglect and take over guardianship."

"Hey," he pouts. "This is their home. You can't take them."

"Fine then," you smirk. You like it when he's a little ridiculous with you. "I'll just move in."

"Fine," he shrugs. Fights a smile. Is so glad to have you back. Overwhelmingly pleased that things are now as they always were.

The pair of you jot down ideas for far too long, and end up covering an entire section of his wall in sticky notes.

Occasionally you call out ideas - "Threesome?" "Sixty-nine?" "Bondage?" - but are always met with the same response: "Shut up and write your damn sticky notes, Byeol."

By the time you're done, there are barely any sticky notes left. It's a lot of things to complete. A lot of resolutions to stick to. His wall is almost like an art installation, but you both know the real magic is hidden on the back of the notes.

Both looking at it, Jeongguk holds out his palm for you to slap yours against it.

"Good job, team," you nod.

"Well done us."

It's mid-afternoon and you're still feeling fragile. Jeongguk needs some sort of energy drink as a pick-me-up, so heads to the corner shop for you all. Jimin is also still in a state of disrepair on the sofa, but he has at least got Netflix going, now.

Sinking into the sofa next to him, Jeongguk's shirt hanging off you like a bloody parachute, you tuck your legs up onto the seat. Jimin groans, and asks if you feel like you've been hit full-pelt by a falling tree branch, to which you just nod.

"Whatever he put in those starfuckers last night must have been lethal," you hypothesize.

"Mhmm," Jimin agrees. "Was probably jealous we were having fun without him. Did I get home with you guys? Can't remember a fuckin' thing after midnight."

You shake your head, not that Jimin can see you. He can feel the slight movements of your body, though, and it makes his stomach lurch. His oesophagus burns from the vomit he's swallowed back down a handful of times already this morning, his system well and truly fucked from last night's escapades.

"Showed up at like... I don't even know," you admit. "Sun was rising, though."

"Christ."

"Mhmm," you hum. "Sat in your pants for a bit, then refused to go to bed. Felt like looking after a toddler."

Now this does make Jimin laugh - which he immediately regrets, 'cause his stomach feels like a stowaway log flume on a water rapid ride. He nestles his head further into the side of the sofa, then attempts to sit up. Thinks laying down impacts his bodily functions.

"Jeongguk ended up putting you to bed," you add, just to let him know.

Jimin's smile is soft. Childish. You know he's about to say something immature, but don't mind. It's nice not having to worry about escapades of the past when talking with him. "Daddy energy."

You snort. "Oh, the Daddiest."

"Bet you it's a thing for him," Jimin adds.

"What? Daddy?"

"Yeah. He's too... good," Jimin decides. You think he's trying to bait you. Trying to smoke you out. "So clean and tidy. Gotta be hiding some sort of filth."

You roll your eyes and toss a pillow in his direction. "Last thing I wanna do is think about what Jeongguk's like in bed," you say.

You aren't lying. You know it will get you all hot and bothered again. Don't need Jimin catching wind of it.

"Disco Ball," Jimin says with a flat voice and raised brows, as he turns to look at you, before nodding towards the mirror in the corner of the room.

Now that you aren't busy looking at Jeongguk getting you off in it, you notice that there are pictures lining the edges of it from photo booths - dozens upon dozens of them, their friends, people you know, people you don't. Makes you sad there are none of you. There's not much to show for your friendship, not just with Jeongguk but with any of the boys. Front and center, a pair of red lips and sultry eyes steal the spotlight in at least half of the photos. You hate the way it makes you feel, and how your tummy gets so twisted thinking about her.

Unaware of your turmoil, Jimin continues. "Look at yourself. You're covered in sparkles and wearing a shirt that we both know doesn't belong to you. You know who else is unusually covered in sparkles this morning?"

You don't answer.

"Exactly." Jimin's smile is so smug that you sort of wish he'd throw up, just to wipe it away.

"You're forgetting the part where I literally painted him in glitter last night," you say.

"I'm forgetting most of the night, DB - not that it matters. You two are about as subtle as a police siren."

"Men and women are perfectly capable of being friends without fucking," you say.

He nods. "True. Doesn't mean that you aren't fucking, though."

"Oh my God."

Jimin's grilling is interrupted by the sound of the keypad beeping on the door, sounding out Jeongguk's return.

"Hey," he calls through, a plastic bag rustling as he makes sure the door is properly shut.

Without even so much as missing a beat, Jimin perks back up. "Disco Ball was just telling me about what the pair of you got up to last night."

Jeongguk pauses. Turns his head slightly as if to question what the fuck Jimin is on about. "The part where we put you to bed, or something else?"

"The part where you took each other to bed."

"Funny," Jeongguk considers. "I'm pretty sure I'd have remembered it if I shagged last night."

"Oh don't give me this bullshit."

"What bullshit?" Jeongguk feigns confusion. "Guys and girls are perfectly capable-"

"Yes, I know!" Jimin almost cries. "God, you two are the worst. Just tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"That you fucked."

"You want us to tell you a lie?" Jeongguk says so plainly that it should almost concern you how good he is at lying.

"Why are you so interested anyway?" You laugh. "You wanna join?"

Jimin considers it for a moment. Jeongguk turns his nose up in disgust. "You are going nowhere near me."

"Oh, so DB can shag you, but I can't. Thanks, Jeongguk. Nice to know where I stand in the friendship hierarchy."

"We're not shagging you little cretin," Jeongguk stresses. "You've got a good ass, though."

This pleases Jimin. "Always knew you were secretly into guys, too."

Jeongguk just rolls his eyes. Doesn't bother correcting him, 'cause what's the use? Jimin wouldn't believe him anyways, or so it seems.

"What are we watching?" Jeongguk asks as he walks over to the sofa, tossing the bag of food down on the coffee table. He doesn't need to ask. He already knows, for it's always the same answer whenever Jimin is hungover and alone. The Notebook . "Which part are we at?"

He could sit anywhere, but chooses to plonk himself down right between you and Jimin. Nestles in. Makes himself comfy, even if it means you and Jimin both have to budge a little.

"Noah's just started restoring the house," Jimin says, to which Jeongguk nods.

He knows the plot just as well as his housemate, now. Watched it every weekend for a good couple of months after the Hayun debacle. Jimin had refused to let Jeongguk go home alone, so put his love for casual encounters on the back burner.

"Always makes me think of Yoongi," Jeongguk muses a little mindlessly.

You agree. You think Yoongi would absolutely restore a house for Seoyeon. It's an apt comparison. One that has you wondering if you'll ever have someone so devoted to you they'd do something like that. For a little while, you had thought that Seokjin would. Thought he loved you in a way that people wrote movies about. Thought that despite your troubles and your differences, it would be a love story that would be adored by the masses. Instead, it's now just a cautionary tale.

Glancing over to you, Jeongguk notices your subdued features.

"You good?" He whispers, nudging your knee with his.

You nod. Whisper back. "Hungover."

It's an answer he accepts, but whether or not he believes it is another thing. He leans forward and retrieves the bright blue bottle of Powerade from the bag. "Here. It'll help."

There's hesitancy to your acceptance, a small smile tickling on your lips. "Thank you."

"Shush," Jimin hisses. "I love this part."

He proves this by reciting every single line for the next scene - 'I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everyday for a year.' 'You wrote me?' 'Yes. It wasn't over. It still isn't over.' - before also deciding that he'll only feel better with a Powerade in his system, too.

Thankfully, Jeongguk planned ahead and got one for each of you. Casual conversation picks up, none of you too invested in the movie - apart from Jimin's occasional cutaways from the conversation to recite lines - and you find that things between the three of you are so incredibly easy. As much of a nightmare as Jimin can be, he's good fun - and he also gives both you and Jeongguk a buffer.

He's not sure about you, but Jeongguk knows he needs that buffer. He's still in that hideous state of hangover-horny that only a good nut can solve - but he's already fucked you. Twice within the last twelve hours. It's worse than usual. He decides that it's not his fault- but then he thinks about you indecently again, and finds himself getting all needy and hard when he really shouldn't be.

His hands are placed strategically, hiding the fact he's got a raging hard-on whilst sitting between two of his closest friends. He can't move. He cannot have Jimin seeing him like... this .

On the contrary, he wants you to see him like it. Wants you to know how badly he could do with another fuck. Thinks it would be a compliment.

It's not until Jimin goes to his room to a charger does Jeongguk reveal his affliction.

"B. We've got a problem," he whispers, lifting his hands to reveal exactly what he was concealing.

"Oh, Jesus," you gasp.

"I don't think he'll help," Jeongguk says with such a pained whine that it's hard not to laugh. "I think I'm gonna die."

"Just go get yourself off?" You suggest, because it seems like the most logical step to take. You can hear Jimin rustling about in his room. Jeongguk's hands cover himself again. "Unless..."

"God, I thought you'd never offer."

"I'm not!" You laugh.

"Okay, so you want me to die."

You roll your eyes. "You won't die."

"I might."

"You definitely won't."

"Definitely won't what?" Jimin asks as he reenters the room, phone cable in hand.

"Die alone," you say, trying to think fast, shooing away the elephant in the room. "He's worried. The film is scaring him."

"Ah yes," Jimin hums. "Romance movies. The most terrifying genre of all."

"You'd agree if you had my dating history," Jeongguk assures him, which earns a laugh.

"True."

It's sunset before you leave, and even then, Jeongguk thinks it's too soon. Wants you to stay round again. A sleepover. Wouldn't mind it without the sex; makeshift beds in the living room, midnight feasts. Would still probably end up fucking you before sunrise 'cause he's still a randy bastard and you still drive him insane, but that's neither here nor there.

Instead, he asks if you'll be around tomorrow. He'll go to the gym, but wants to grab coffee afterwards. Will probably need a friendly face, knowing how hellish it will be at Jiyeong's place of work.

How can you refuse?

Sometimes, Jeongguk's eyes are so sparkly you think he might have been a fairy prince in his past life. It's the only way to explain it. In a way, it feels like he lends his wings to you. Lifts you up. Assures you that despite all the toads, and beetles, and moles you may have kissed in the past, there'll be a bumblebee-riding fairy prince out the for you, too.

He's one of the good ones. A good boy. One that will be hard to let go of, you think as you make your way home.

And apparently, as you open your apartment door to far more of Taehyung's ass than you ever needed to see - "Holy shit." "Jesus Christ, close your eyes!" "On the fucking sofa?! Really?!" - it looks like Danbi's in just as much of a pickle as you are.

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

[slowlyseducedbycurls]

But I know you

By Thingssicant and amazing art by @28goldens

Outta this world! Our new dreamy astrohunks have taken off!

These three starry eyed lads are heading one direction, to the moon!

With the help and funding from Simon Cowell himself, we're taking one small step for man, and one giant leap for mankind- HA!

Cowell has much bigger plans for these lads than a few steps. With his new program, they will be three of the first humans to actually live on the moon!

I got the lucky chance to stand and watch the takeoff, I could feel the nerves off those boys! And the heat! And boy was it hot!

Wish our lads luck, and keep your eye on The Moon (our lovely paper, and their lovely home) for more updates on the happenings of the newest men to join the stars.

Published by Harry styles, all rights reserved.

(Or Harry is a journalist, Louis is an astronaut, but it's way more complicated than that)

Written for @onedirectionbigbang

[dandelion-network]

"Because dead things felt only love for the universe." A dreamy, doom fanmix dedicated to Jeff VanderMeer's Dead Astronauts.

i. ivixor b / phase inducer - electric wizard // ii. white stork - bossk // iii. ekpyrotic - the otolith // iv. the screen - yob // v. the shooting star - gojira // vi. souvlaki space station - slowdive // vii. moon in your mouth - goldfrapp // viii. ptolemaea - ethel cain // ix. evaporate - a.a. williams // x. feather - windhand // xi. fight like gods - chelsea wolfe // xii. marked for death - emma ruth rundle // xiii. drag me into the woods - holy fawn // xiv. the things they believe - loathe, john waug // xv. and, we disappear - alaskan tapes.

i. ivixor b / phase inducer - electric wizard : I chose an instrumental as the first song in this mix and this specific song because it emulates the feeling of traversing a desert wasteland, similar to the astronauts' odyssey heading toward the Company during the first part of the book. There are radio signals and warbbing-like sounds along with unintelligible speech in the background that remind me of the original Star Trek where there'd be random 'scifi' noises.

ii. white stork - bossk : Another instrumental track. While Ivixor B / Phase Inducer felt more passive to me, almost a song that would assist setting the vibe of the story's landscape, White Stork for me is the song of desert's active mystery and signs of hostility. It hasn't asserted itself yet, but there's a kind of danger lurking as the story progresses.

iii. ekpyrotic - the otolith : I consider this song to be the theme of all the living beings in either opposition to the Company or those separate from the dichotomy of friend and foe. The foxes are the first that came to mind when listening to this song. The subject of the song is the interconnectedness of all living beings and rebirth, along with the inherent power of being one's true self that cannot be contained. [Lyrics]

iv. the screen - yob : This song represents confrontation, violence between the astronauts and their other selves, the dark bird, the behemoth. An ancient battle forever taking place. It also makes me think of the horror Charlie X experienced during his time with the Company. It's his pain, the pain he inflicts, his need to please what he and the Company demand of him. There's almost this ancient rite he performs when constructing his creations. And of course, the violence done upon the foxes by man. [Lyrics]

v. the shooting star - gojira : This is thee theme for the astronauts - Grayson, Moss, and Chen -, the song that represents not only their mission or their struggles as they fight to succeed, but also their connection with one another. I think of the last four bars of the song: everlasting-love is ever-growing / hang on to what you have and let it grow / everlasting-love is ever-dying / it's in the past, you have to let it go. [Lyrics]

vi. souvlaki space station - slowdive : This song brings more of the dreamy, abstract imagery that I experienced when reading the book. it reflects more of the subdued moments in the story. There's a refusal in the song to confront someone. It feels like the disconnection between the astronauts and Charlie X. [Lyrics]

vii. moon in your mouth - goldfrapp : The astronauts love each other. Moss cares so much for Chen, Chen cares so much for Moss, Grayson cares so much for Moss and Chen, and they for her. I wanted to celebrate that while also moving away from the confrontational sounds and lyrics of the earlier tracks. Because of the lighter note, you can think of this song as something from the very beginning of their mission, before trials, before the violence really took hold. Maybe even when they still had Charlie X. [Lyrics]

viii. ptolemaea - ethel cain : We're back at the Company and Charlie X surviving his father. That's really what this is, it's the section of the book where we really learn what Charlie X has done and what has been done to him by his father, by the Company: you poor thing / sweet mourning lamb / there's nothing you can do / it's already been done. The one of the scariest parts of the story. [Lyrics]

ix. evaporate - a.a. williams : It's the general sense of despair. The despair in moments of fear, violence, pain. Uncertainty really. Might seem like a throwaway because I don't have that much to say about it, but I know it feels Right to include. A lot of characters harm themselves, either by their own hand or they put themselves in harm's way. [Lyrics]

x. feather - windhand : We're returning to sounds that remind me of the wasteland again. Could be viewed as despair but I see it as acceptance of what must be done. There's something about it that reminds me most of the blue fox. The sense of knowing that is to come, what has come. [Lyrics]

xi. fight like gods - chelsea wolfe : The closest songs I can find right now that reminds me of the foxes, but the blue fox specifically. The violence upon them frightening like the violence upon Charlie X - moreso even. Turned to retribution, to revolution, to revenge. Oh did they fight like gods. [Lyrics]

xii. marked for death - emma ruth rundle : Another love song, in all the ways to define love. For Moss and Chen. For Moss and Grayson. For Charlie X and the dark bird. For the blue fox and the foxes, the blue fox and perhaps the Strange Bird; for the Strange Bird and... Who will be there when you are dying, when you are dead, when you are going to die. [Lyrics]

xiii. drag me into the woods - holy fawn : I am reminded most of the transformations and changes and alterations the characters go through. Less of a violence and more of the enviably of it? The awareness of it. The changes that happen not so much out of violence but from a place of love or the natural order of things. [Lyrics]

xiv. the things they believe - loathe, john waug : The instrumentals have returned. Some loose ends aren't so loose anymore. Some things make some sense. It's that dreamy landscape again. The dust settling in its own way. A respite from what we've been through.

xv. and, we disappear - alaskan tapes : "We will always be there. Even before we know you. Even after we've known you. Even then. And, finally, she was free."

[wwwj1ncom]

you're out of this world! 🌙💫✨ (alien!george and astronaut!dreamie)

[obsidianpen]

Will you ever consider writing a Tom/Luna fic someday ? I know Luna is an odd choice to be paired with Tom and canonically she is portrayed as bit ditzy, dreamy and a bit happy-go-lucky hippy-ish girl who loves strange creatures, but there's much a writer can do with her I'd wager.

She's a Ravenclaw and did go on to become a celebrated Magizoologist so she's not without brains. Imho she can be written somewhat like Agatha Christie's Misx Marple? In the books Marple is a very frail, delicate, eccentric little lady who is actually very observant and goes on to solve many murders.

I am a hardcore Tomarry shipper but then I read sockyferret's Into Your Gravity, baltears's The Astronaut and kind of fell in love with Tom/Luna. They are very, very, very different, but maybe because these are pretty good fics, their dynamics didn't come across as very unbelievable/awkward.

Now am wondering what would happen if trainee magizoologist Luna is yanked into 1950, right into when Tom is deep into retail hell, bored to death with his Borgin & Burkes job, but also beginning his ascension as the next Darklord...

How would their paths meet? I am sure she would deal with Tom, his circle different than Hermione.

hm you know I love Luna and I love Tom but I don’t feel that one working out for me. I’d hav to get real creative in how I would do that, because I think Luna would frustrate the shit out of him and Tom would be too boring and rigid for Luna. Not saying it couldn’t happen - everything can happen, it’s all a skill issue! But I don’t think I personally have the passion/skill to make that pairing come to life in a believable way

[cowgurrrl]

Can we get more LFTL dad Joel content? I love this series and you’re such a great writer!

Thank you for your sweet words!! I love some LFTL dad!joel content!! This ended up being more family fluff but it still works!

Love's Gonna Live Here

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Summary: The story of the Museum Day [1.1k]

Warnings: a little bit of grief but mostly fluff

Ever since Joel took Ellie to the museum for her birthday, she's wanted to go back every year. It's a relatively easy journey, and it's gotten easier as you pass through more and more times. At first, it was just you, Ellie, and Joel. Then it was you three, Tommy, Maria, and Camille. Then it was the six of you plus Charlie. Then Dina, Jesse, and JJ started tagging along too. Soon enough, you had a pretty big group going to the museum regularly. Dina and Maria even conspired to set up field trips through the elementary school. Joel was hesitant initially, but once word got out, keeping it under wraps was impossible. Before the first field trip, you and your little family went out to clean things up. Tear down old boards, sweep away leaves and dust, and even organize whatever dinosaur pamphlets were left.

After that first time, it became an annual event. Joel would lead the way, knowing the forest like the back of his hand, and Ellie, after saying she could never be a teacher, would go on tangents about space exploration and evolution to the next generation of students. The museum got a little cleaner every year, and things got a little more normal. You never ran into Infected or Raiders, and if you did, you had the mayor of Jackson and the Millers to keep you safe. It's a win for everyone. Ellie gets to share her knowledge and excitement, you and Joel get to get out of Jackson, and Charlie gets to learn new things. You also like to think the scientists and astronauts who did all that work are happy to know people are still learning about them even after the apocalypse.

This year is the first year Charlie's class gets to go on the field trip. She's ecstatic, telling everyone that her mommy, daddy, and Bellie will take them "to the stars," as Ellie told Charlie years ago. Dina, Jesse, and JJ come along too. JJ is finally growing out of the chubby toddler stage and more into an actual kid. It's scary to see how much he looks like Jesse but acts like Ellie, but you love watching him and Charlie interact.

As you walk to the museum, Joel takes turns carrying Charlie and JJ on his shoulders, pointing out different types of plants, and telling the kids how to look out for poison ivy. He tells them stories of what life was like before. He talks about cities like New York and Chicago and explains how cars work. At one point, you swear you can pinpoint the dreaminess in his voice as he talks about coffee. He talks about Sarah, too. He tells the kids about how she would scamper up big rocks and give him shit for wanting to go on hikes and things like that. She would be in her forties if she were alive today. Jane would be in her thirties. Still, you both imagine them as the fourteen and ten-year-olds they'll always be. You have nothing else to go on.

When you get to the museum, Ellie holds JJ and Charlie's hands as they walk through the exhibits. Ellie goes on and on about what year we went to space, what animal was the first to be in orbit, and the order of the planets. You and Joel hang back, letting the parents and kids follow Ellie. This is your favorite part: watching Ellie be herself. She cracks jokes, answers questions, and doesn't hesitate to get down on their level if needed. She's a natural. Dina watches Ellie, too, adoration and love so clearly shining in her eyes. You wonder if that's how Joel looks at you when you're not looking.

"What're you thinkin' bout?" Joel asks, bumping you with his shoulder, and you shrug.

"Thinking bout our girls."

"Which ones?"

"All of 'em." You say, and he smiles. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you close, kissing your temple. You follow Ellie's lead through the museum and watch Charlie get excited as she listens to her big sister. As she makes it up to the dinosaur skeletons, Ellie looks at Joel knowingly and pulls a familiar brown hat out of her bag. You laugh as she throws it and perfectly lands it on the dinosaur's head. All the kids roar with laughter, but Ellie is looking at Joel.

"He's wearing a little hat!" Charlie exclaims, and Ellie smiles.

"Yeah, he is," Ellie says. Joel sniffles next to you, and you rub his back as he tries not to cry. All the kids get a turn in the spaceship, flicking the different buttons and pretending to blast off. You remember when Ellie did that for the first time. She was so little. Now, she's holding a kid on her hip and Dina's hand. She's a grown woman.

As the day wears on, Maria and Tommy start taking people back to town, but you, Joel, Ellie, and Charlie stay. You sit in the middle of the museum, watching the clouds pass through the skylight. Charlie sits in Ellie's lap, and Joel has an arm around her shoulder. You wish you had a camera to take a picture of how peaceful they look. Instead, you commit the image to memory and sit with them.

"I had fun with you today, Bellie," Charlie says, looking up at Ellie, and Ellie raises her eyebrows.

"Yeah?" She asks, and Charlie nods. "I had fun with you, too, kiddo."

"How old were you when you came here for the first time?" Charlie asks, and Ellie meets Joel's eyes over her head.

"Sixteen. Mom and Dad brought me here before you were born."

"That was a long time ago," Charlie says candidly, and Ellie laughs.

"Yeah, it was," Ellie agrees, kissing the top of Charlie's head. "You know, Dad pushed me in the river while we were on our way here the first time."

"Really?" Charlie asks with big eyes, looking between her and Joel, and you smile. Ellie nods with big, animated eyes.

"And you know what?"

"What?"

"I couldn't even swim."

"Daddy!" Charlie scolds Joel. "Bellie could've drowned!"

"You're right, Charlie Girl. I could've drowned."

"You weren't gonna drown!" Joel defends himself, and Ellie hums. "I was helpin' you build your confidence in the water."

"Mommy!" Charlie turns her attention to you. "Why didn't you stop Daddy from pushing Ellie?"

"Mommy was pregnant and shouldn't have even been on that trip!"

"That's true. You probably shouldn't have." Ellie says, and you laugh. The four of you settle against each other, sleepily watching the clouds move and the sky turn orange. The girls are tucked under one of Joel's arms, and you're tucked under the other, a heap of love and warmth. At one point, Joel kisses Ellie's temple and squeezes her shoulders. Then, so quiet you almost miss it, he says, "You did great today, kiddo." Ellie looks up at him, Charlie resting against her chest, and smiles sleepily.

"Thanks, Dad."

[varrucasalt]