#dreams consideration of changing around the point when it was too late
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lovelyrose20 · 2 years ago
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I don’t often make these kind of analyzation posts often and I might be wrong but something about Dream considering changing only for the nukes to drop hit me. I don’t know if I’m doing this right but just the fact that his death along with everyone else to due to his action, due to everything that happened. He never had the chance to change because he already made that decision a long time ago and now in some horrible way that involves everyone else suffering he’s suffered the consequence of it. I know that the finale is very flawed but it’s honestly good in that kind of angle. The fact that Tommy will not agree with him and still thinking that he’s a piece of shit understood why he did this and figure out his entire motive that is not underneath layers of it’s fun or greater good. He was just scared child who is upset that the world is complicated and that everything that he knew was changing and rather than change in small ways alongside it or try to accept change. He tried to force change in big ways, mess with innocent people’s lives and justify saying that soon they will live forever and it will be a better place. And the moment that he heard Tommy finally analyzing and slowly deconstructing his motives. The moment that dream seem to have begin to understand and actively let out his emotions. It was all gone. He have multiple chances and multiple warning signs yet he didn’t change. And now it’s too late because the server got nuked. It’s a symphony of a tragedy yet one that happens because of his actions and fatal flaws. Dream finally realize that he doesn’t have to do what are he did. And he paid the price for not realizing it before.ïżŒïżŒ
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beegomess · 3 months ago
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They dreaming about you || Slytherin boys
Summary: The boys being surprised by hot dreams with you, even without being in a loving relationship. These dreams take them by surprise, but maybe not so much, since you had been noticing some stealthy looks from them for some time on your body. Warnings: A little spicy, +18.
Requests open!
materlist here
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Blaise Zabini
That scene seemed too good to be true, but it was. At least in Blaise's head it was...
His body lying on the sheets with his skirt raised and legs open gave him the view of paradise. What only improved with the fact that your fingers slowly went in and out of you while your face squirmed in pleasure and your mouth spilled a few moans, from time to time, with his name.
In the dream, Blaise just looked, almost as if waiting for the right moment to touch you, and it was certainly wonderful to see you in that position.
However, Zabini's brain was awakened thanks to the roar of the bathroom door being knocked by his roommate who had just entered. His eyes opened slowly, feeling a violent frustration taking over his body followed by shame of himself. In addition to, of course, having something he had to solve in the shower before class.
At breakfast, you were there, laughing with Pansy. As soon as Blaise's brown eyes hit you, an embarrassment was felt. However, this embarrassment was soon replaced by a desire and vivid memories of his dream, which made him ignore you during the following days, because the dreams did not stop. They even happened in naps during the day. It was crazy for him, his time in the bath had to increase considerably in the last few days. Blaise didn't know what else to do with himself.
Draco Malfoy
Oh, no. Draco really didn't use to be that kind of boy. He, in fact, was used to receiving this kind of report from other girls. So when, at his sleep, he found himself dreaming of you with his lips around him, this lit an alert in his mind.
You were the sister of one of your friends, that wasn't right. He could swear that he consciously never wanted you that way, but in fact, he was only in the phase of denial by Theo's constant warnings not to look at his beautiful sister that way.
He avoided you as much as possible for the rest of the day, you two didn't really use to be very close, but you were almost always in the same places.
The attempt to avoid you during the day worked, but during dinner he couldn't do the same. What made you look the most lascivious way at your mouth while you ate dessert and talked to your friend. It was then that he realized that maybe he was not as calibrated in relation to you as he imagined.
Lorenzo Berkshire
Enzo saw you in your pajamas several times throughout your childhood, this was common among best friends. However, something seemed to have changed in you lately, he was starting to notice more about what his body looked like now. However, he thought he had stopped there, just a common physical attraction.
Good, but that's not what happened. One morning he just woke up with a big problem in his pants thanks to a dream in which you simply kissed him on his lap.
In the dream, you were wearing those very short pajamas that you loved to wear, but that Lorenzo hated because it made him look like any pervert. His body was on his lap, using the friction between the two of you to satisfy yourself in some way. His low moans muffled by his lips caused Enzo's smiles during the dream.
However, he woke up at some point with you, already dressed for class, knocking on the door of his room. His body that was hot and thirsty freezes immediately when he hears his voice calling him and he jumps out of bed in despair.
- Enzo, is everything okay? - You ask because of his delay in opening for you.
He answered anything, just to mislead you for a few hours. It was almost impossible to avoid you during the day, you surprised him, he was always with you and suddenly he was full of commitments that didn't include you.
Enzo just didn't know what to do, since whenever he saw you, he received scenes from his dream.
Mattheo Riddle
His body was beautifully folded over a table in some classroom, his hands grabbed the wood tightly while his skirt was raised and his panties were slightly dragged to the side to give him passage. Mattheo smiled as he hit his hips against his own and saw his face, pressed against the wood, writhing with the moans and sensations he gave you.
Everything was perfect, really everything. Until he simply woke up, without any interruption, his brain simply turned off the most beautiful scene he had ever seen and woke him up out of nowhere.
He opened his eyes and began to fall for himself about the dream. Why was he dreaming that about you? You didn't even talk, nor did you have friends in common besides Astoria, who was not exactly his friend, just a friend's girlfriend.
But that's okay, he did what he had to do so he didn't have to show all his tight pants and went on with his day. For him, that was unusual, but not a total astonishment. Mattheo really liked to see his body whenever he could, but he never did more than that.
Riddle's day went on normally. Girls throwing themselves at him, Draco complaining about his father, Theo agreeing and telling about his... Until you passed next to his table to yours ahead.
Coincidentally, you were wearing the skirt of that dream, the exact same skirt. All right, it was the uniform, but you were wearing that specific model, with pleats and more round and a little shorter.
Mattheo felt warm up, not with shame, but with a sudden desire. What only got worse when he realized that his dream happened in that same classroom. The class simply dragged on to Mattheo, who decided to go out in the middle of it to be able to relieve himself minimally and try to ignore you for the rest of the day, getting frustrated about the way he felt close to you from that day on.
Theodore Nott
Theodore's night had been great until he lay down, he had lost sleep and went to the Astronomy Tower to smoke, in an attempt to fall asleep again. And when he got there, he found you doing the same as him. You two talked and laughed at nonsense while smoking, something that became common over the weeks, it was something that happened coincidentally, until Theodore started going whenever you went.
He always slept better after hearing his laugh and that day was no different, he lay down and fell asleep quickly, and everything only seemed to get better when an image of him invaded his dreams: his hands leaning on Nott's chest while his breasts shook as you slid over him, his suggestive smiles and moans filled Theo's eyes, making him think he was finally in paradise for having her.
Anyway, his paradise was quickly interrupted by Mattheo's noises when leaving the dorm. Theodore was face down, but as soon as he turned around, it was visible to see his condition through the sheet itself, which made him rub his eyes in frustration, but not out of shame but out of necessity.
Theo was the kind of boy who was not ashamed of things like this, in fact, it only encouraged him to look for you, even if it meant having to deal with the insistent scenes reappearing in his mind.
Tom Riddle
You were simply stunning with your ankles hitting Tom's shoulders as he increased the pace of the beats on you. It was almost angelic for him to see you that way. The way he got lost in you in his own mind seemed like a weakness when he woke up.
Tom thought he was bewitched by you, after all, he was the one who should get into people's minds and not the other way around. So, when this happened, he was intrigued and obsessed with you. The two of you were not close, much less had already talked more than a brief question about school subjects. And that's why his obsession with you.
Even though he was a different boy, in a more focused and studious feeling than worried about girls, he can't help but perceive you in the libraries and how the dim lights contoured his body and curves perfectly. He didn't avoid you the next day, in fact, as the days went by, Tom approached you. He never ran after girls, but he seemed willing to watch you from afar whenever he could.
He felt like an idiot, futile to say the least. But he couldn't take away from himself the curiosity and the desire to see you really squirm under him.
_______________________________
xoxo, beeđŸ«¶đŸŒâœš
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trashmouth-richie · 5 days ago
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a little blurb from eddie’s pov in volume: four — aka the night tooty comes home drunk and eddie brings home the twins from the bar
1300k words || eddie x you || honey i’m home masterlist
eddie wasn’t good at doing laundry. 
before he moved in with you, he and wayne took turns dumping copious amounts of laundry soap into the washing machine, cranking dials in no particular fashion and slamming the lid closed. hoping to all hell that their clothes would come out clean. 
work jeans would be washed on ‘delicate’. darks and whites all washed in hot water, sometimes cold. there was no rhyme or reason, simple whatever the two men had felt like was right on that day. 
when eddie moved in with you, it wasn’t any different. 
he hadn’t changed his bachelor style raised ways at all. eddie spent most of his time at the house on cherry lane driving you up the wall, for nothing but pure entertainment for himself. he couldn’t help it— it was just too easy to make you upset. and okay
 maybeeeee he enjoyed the attention you’d give him when you would scold him about being a complete neanderthal. maybe he thought you were cute when you were mad. but that couldn’t be right, you were eyeball’s sister, and nothing would make him cross that line. 
so it was a no-brainer for him to bring the twins back to the house for an after-concert-fuckfest. it was guaranteed to make you mad, and he’d be getting his dick wet. win-win. 
they were hot, equal parts sassy and spicy, begging for his undivided consideration—willing to do whatever —wherever— he asked. it went how ot always did, they worshiped his cock, called him daddy, squealing whining and panting about how they belonged to him. it was any rockstar’s dream. one eddie seemed to live almost every night before he moved in with you.
you. 
he’d never admit to the girls that his hips weren’t holding rhythm because tooty had crossed his mind. 
he’d never let on that they would have to put in the work because his brain was racked with questions of where you were, what were you doing. 
he was caught off guard when you pranced into his head and refused to leave. your arms were crossed, eyebrows pinched in disgust your lips pouty. godddddd those lips. they were straight from an angel’s that he was sure of.
before he knew it he was coming hard, quicker than usual, faster than any time in his twenties, maybe even his late teens. did the girls come? he didn’t care, he didn’t even ask. 
tossing the condom somewhere around his room, eddie laid ass naked in his bed, lighting a cigarette post sex, listening to the girls get dressed and whisper about how jealous their friends would be that they went home with corroded coffin’s lead singer. 
tooty. 
why did you do that? why did you cross his mind at the most inconvenient times? somewhere deep down you had always been in the back of his mind, even before steve had told him you needed a roommate. 
he smiled crookedly, blowing a line of smoke through his lips. maybe to get you all riled up he’d invite the twins to stay? god you’d be so fucking mad seeing not one, but two girls sitting at the kitchen table eating your food, drinking your coffee —(he wouldn’t make anything for them, fuck no, they could figure that out themselves)— he could just imagine your face, the way your eyebrows would furrow and how steam would practically roll out from your ears. 
seeing your face made him smile. no matter how mad or angry you could get with him, getting you to that point was one of his favorite past times and he’d do just about anything to get you there. 
but where were you tonight? did you have a date? he couldn’t remember you ever saying anything about it but maybe you wouldn’t have told him even if you did? the idea of some chump taking you out, buying you dinner, trying to kiss those pouty lips, jesus christ the thought of it alone made his stomach turn. 
tooty?
 he could recognize your voice anywhere. when did you get home? was your date with you? stubbing out his cigarette on the lacquer tip of his nightstand, eddie stepped into a pair of sweats and followed your voice. 
—
taking care of a drunk girl was not the way he thought this night would end. but since you fourteen, you were always more than just “some girl” to him. 
but holy fuck you were hammered. why would steve let you drink that much? did he not give a shit if you choked on your own vomit? if you were coherent enough to make a decision? eddie’s blood boiled at the thought of steve just bringing you home and leaving you by yourself— as if the two of them had never made that deal after a terrible night at reefer rick’s? he’d deal with that, later. 
now here he stood in the basement, staring at your puke soaked overalls in one hand and the laundry soap in another. he didn’t want to ruin them, how shitty would that be to wake up hungover and find your clothes ruined?
so eddie did something he had never done before. he decided to not fuck with the buttons leaving them to wash in a cold cycle. he didn’t fuss with the dial or add anything extra in.
plopping the overalls into the basin, he added a dollop of soap, shut the lid and pulled the knob to have it start.
the light flickered as the old washing machine groaned and the pipes flowed with water. looking around he spied a single folding chair leaning against the concrete wall,  and that is where eddie sat until the load was finished.
waiting
thinking
listening to the washing machine bump and shudder through the wash. listening to the water whoosh as it changed to the rinse cycle. the basin spun around and around and around— much like eddie’s brain. 
trying to make sense of his feelings, he ran large hands down his face. would it be right to fall for you? to fall for his bestfriends sister? he had no way of knowing if that was something you wanted or not. but what eddie did know was that he would protect you, from anyone, from anything, even if that meant something he had caused himself. 
he shook his head. what the hell was he thinking? he needed a cigarette, something to clear his head because right now it was just full of you. the light blinked again and before he could register what he was doing he was rifling through the storage shelves in search of a replacement bulb. 
tooty can’t reach this damn thing he laughed to himself, imagining you standing on tiptoe (in those ratty shoes you refused to throw away) balancing on a small step ladder trying to manhandle the bulb from its socket. you’d be pissed no doubt, and the painted image in his head made him laugh outright. 
oh tooty, little stubborn tooty— god.
eddie decided to wait to check on you until the clothes were done, peeking through your door to make sure you were indeed breathing. 
the washing machine stopped tumbling, a loud screech alerting him that it was done. lifting the lid, he was pleased to see the stains were gone, and that he hadn’t ruined your clothes. 
“shit,” he smirked to himself, “look at you munson, finally did something right.” 
there was double meaning in those words, and eddie had yet to understand the multitude of them.
—
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thesupreme316 · 11 months ago
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aew wrestlers x female readers and their favorite positions in bed?
darius martin, dante martin, daniel garcia, hook, action andretti, ricky starks, eddie kingston, and i know they're not in aew, but could you add drilla moloney & charlie dempsey 🙏
AEW STARS AND: Their Favorite Sex Positions (18+)
Pairings: Darius Martin X Female Reader, Dante Martin X Female Reader, Hook X Female Reader, Ricky Starks X Female Reader, Daniel Garcia X Female Reader, Action Andretti X Female Reader, Eddie Kingston X Female Reader, Swerve Strickland X Female Reader,
Word Count: 1.3K
Supreme Speaks: heyyyy (sorry for being late per usual). thanks to my tumblr bae @hooks-martin for the request (for the last two, I didn't know anything about them but I traded them for swerve). i think this is the most explicit imagine of mine so plz take it easy on me. anyways, please remember that you are loved and appreciated. ALSO HAPPY HOLIDAYS
Warnings: Mature content (if you are a minor, please do not read), explicit content and images, explicit language and indications
Taglist: @hooks-martin @hookerforhook @batzy-watzy @wwenhlimagines @triscillal @cassie0sstuff @sheinthatfandom @eddie-kingstons-wifey
**All the positions and their names be referenced from this website**
Hook: Cowgirl
I can just see it
Him on his back looking up at you and admiring the view; with a smirk
BUT DON’T GET IT TWISTED
He is very much in charge
Will command how fast or slow you go; he doesn’t care about the speed
.but will change it if he’s punishing you
“You can ride me a lot faster can’t you baby girl?”
If he sees you getting tired (or he is punishing you), he will just drill up into you with no mercy (you’re riding a jackhammer now)
Frequently brings you down to kiss you (Watering Can position)
Loves it when you scratch his torso; it’s like you're leaving your mark/brand
I CAN SEE HIM REACHING UP AND CHOKING YO-
Just to see you squirm a bit more, he’ll talk in Italian
Tw: google translate
“Prendilo per me tesoro, so che puoi.” (Take it for me baby, I know you can.)
Action Andretti: Bizet
Again like I have said in the past
Man’s a sweetheart but also very shy
This is the perfect position since he probably might clam up if he looks into your eyes
Not in a bad way ofc
From this position, you can’t see him blush
So he wants to be as close to you as possible
And he also wants to be able to slip in at any given chance
I think he prefers slow thrusts so you both can feel everything and take in the moment
Loves to whisper in your ear
“It’s almost like your body was built for mine”
I see him as a tits person, so he squeezes them from behind


After careful consideration, yeah my answer is still the same he is a tit person
OVERALL HE IS A SWEETHEART
Dante Martin: Reverse Cowgirl
MMMMM THIS IS MY DREAM SO EXCUSE ME FOR THE PRIVAT-
MANS IS A ASS PERSON
Smacks/gropes your ass whenever
And is a switch too idc what you say; So I think this position gives you both control in a way
If he’s the sub, you’re controlling the pace and more so focused on your pleasure by rubbing yourself
If you’re the sub, MORE ASS SMACKIN not hard or anything (he’s a soft Dom if anything)
I also believe he will pull your hair back to the point your back is on his chest (just walk with me) and he pistons into you
Is a dirty talker too
“Fuck you feel incredible. Come for me”
But tbh I see him more as a sub in bed so
he slightly whimpers and whines in my mind
Will ask you to turn around so he can see your face
Like I said prior, he’s soft so I cannot see him being harsh or rough in bed
Darius Martin: Forbidden Fruit
Teehee
Man is a giver; A GIVER I TELL YOU
Giving you pleasure to the point where all you’re doing is screaming and losing your breath?
Teehee he lives for that
“You taste amazing love”
Loves it when you are on top
Eventually, the position turns into tiramisu or you riding his face
I don’t think he’s a sub all the way but more so a switch who really wants to please you
Tell Darius what to do an he will do it with no hesitation
For an “actual” position, I think he would love the scissor position
It’s very intimate for him and it gives him access to his favorite parts of you
I also think it would be the best position as he can see your facial expressions and give you extra stimulation
Again Darius would be all for your calls and satisfaction
Ricky Starks: Oasis
LITERALLY IT’S UP HIS ALLEY
He can see everything
Tits, Ass, Face, Neck, etc.
He likes to be up close and personal with you so he can kiss you at any point
Also, it’s easy likes to motorboat you
Side note; we all know he likes to be called daddy
So yes he will be referring to himself as Daddy
“Look at you being daddy’s good girl”
Sex-wise, Ricky is a full Dom you cannot make that man into a sub
if you do, he is the brattiest sub ever
Mostly a soft Dom but will turn up the (h)eat when necessary
He just loves being in control (speed, position, etc.)
SUCH A FUCKING TEASE; will intentionally slow down just to see you whine and beg for more
I think he will also convert Oasis into the cowgirl position
Overall, don’t give Ricky too much power
Eddie Kingston: Temptation
Okay let's have a real moment (pulls up chair) This man is so selfless that it’s crazy
For the most part, I can see him as a missionary man, because of the fact that he doesn’t want you to put in work
With temptation, he can see your face and know if he’s truly giving you pleasure
It’s also the perfect position to touch all the parts of you that can give more stimulation
AND YALL CAN DO IT EVERYWHERE
Eddie is a Dom; both a hard and soft Dom
He doesn’t want to go too harsh on you (unless you want it)
Control doesn’t matter to him tbh
Will actually do anything you ask him to because he’s so hung up on pleasing you
LOVES IT WHEN YOU TOUCH HIM OR SCRATCH HIS BACK
“Touch me like that again”
Will ensure that you have more orgasms than him
Eddie is a selfless man and puts your needs over his
Daniel Garcia: Chibi
We all know that DG is a switch (man is a bratty sub let's be honest)
But more important he is an ass man
Chibi stands out the most for me to him
With the position, he can go the pace either you or he wants to go
He can also grab or smack that booty whenever
GOES CRAZY WHEN YOU MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM
I can also see him in the Nirvana position
With Nirvana, he can kiss your legs
I wouldn’t say he has a foot fetish but at the same time yeah he does
WHICH IS THE SEXIEST PART OF YOU IN HIS EYES (besides the ass)
Take the time to appreciate other parts of you
I wouldn’t say he’s a dirty talker but he’s definitely a moaner

.
Even my ass can see that and I need glasses
Swerve Strickland: Doggy Style/Downward Dog
Okay
.let me dream real quick
THIS MAN? IS A HARD DOM ALL THE WAY WE ALL KNEW FROM THAT DAMN DEATHMATCH
This man is my baby daddy/sugar daddy and he wishes to be called as such
You? You’re either a slut or a princess in his eyes (I’m bot-)
Loves Doggy Style cause it gives him so much control
Will pull your hair and lean down to whisper in your ear
“You like that, don't you? Lucky for you, I could do this forever.”
Will also pull you up until your back reaches his chest
OR OR
He will put your face down further into the mattress and make you arch your back for him (Downward Dog)
Loves to smack your ass and hear your muffled screams
Will overstimulate you until you tell him to stop
AND HE WILL LOOK OVER AT YOUR PANTING AND SWEATY BODY WITH A SMILE
otay
I’m done
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mariacallous · 6 months ago
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We live today amid the dregs of time. A sense of doom is shared on all sides of the political spectrum. Democratic politics in the West has turned into a clash between two extinction rebellions and two nostalgias: an extinction rebellion of climate activists who are terrified that if we don’t radically upend our way of life, we shall destroy life on Earth, and an extinction rebellion of the “great replacement” right, which lives in fear that if something doesn’t change, it is the end of our way of life. The right is nostalgic for the past. The left is nostalgic for the vanished future. Radically different in their goals, they share one common vantage point: an apocalyptic imagination.
It is in the context of this creeping eschatological position that one can assess the originality and importance of Jonathan White’s In the Long Run: The Future as a Political Idea. White, a professor at the London School of Economics and Political Science, offers an original reading of the current crisis of democracy by defining it as a temporal regime and arguing that an “open future,” one that is not predetermined but is shaped by human agency, is a precondition for the successful functioning of democratic regimes. In his view, “When the future seems to be closing in, institutions organized around the idea of persistent disagreement and changing opinion start to look out of place.”
By contrast, the reigning characteristic of our “age of emergency” is that there is no room for error. If certain decisions are not taken today, it no longer matters whether they will be taken up tomorrow. It will be too late.
White’s argument is that, just as humans die in the absence of air to breathe, democracy can die from the inability to dream collectively. What makes democracy work is a productive tension between a near future and a distant and utopian future. The near future is the one we can plan for—the one that politicians promise to voters and remains at the center of democratic accountability. What the government did yesterday and what the parties pledge for tomorrow will always be the bread and butter of electoral politics.
White, however, is correct to insist that the distant and utopian futures, ones radically different from today’s reality, are also constitutive for democratic regimes. Distant futures are the basis for political hope today and the motivation for deferring the gratification of immediate political goals. Take the future out of democratic politics and elections turn into civil wars with ballots or a never-ending crisis management.
But today our relationship to the future is marked by collective distrust. The resulting imbalance between democracy as a project and democracy as a projection of futures—whether economic, demographic, or technological—is at the center of the West’s current crisis. Uncertainty about the future, and the resulting hope that tomorrow can be radically different from today, are the hallmarks of the democratic idea. The question is whether uncertainty is still possible in our current age of emergency.
White sees the future as a political idea that has gone through different historical iterations, not all of which have productive relationships to democracy.
His consideration of rational calculation is a useful case study. White makes clear the opportunities, and far greater risks, to assuming that the future can be mastered by experts who have mastered the scientific method and the use of statistical data. This faith was on the ascent in the early 20th century, White explains, when new forms of accounting inspired confidence in the power of business to project future earnings. The market forecaster was the new sage, and technocracy as a collective tool to solve the ills of man was infectious. Planning would become a new mantra and a way that ideologies of very different stripes could make sense of what came next.
But how does this impulse to rationally plan the future square with the open-mindedness of democracy and its inherent uncertainty principle? It would seem to be in contradiction. As White writes, “To assume the stability of people’s preferences is to discount the worth of a political process that seeks to change them.” One definition of democracy, offered by the political scientist Adam Przeworski, is a system in which elections cannot be changed ex post or predicted ex ante. Some things have to be left open to chance if a democracy is to be worthy of the name.
It is here that White’s stress on the utility of aspirational futures becomes a separate and essential dimension. Were everything to be left to expert planning or price signaling, the world of imagination would rapidly become impoverished. We would be taking our social cues from rational planners and prognosticators. Although White doesn’t mention him, the late sociologist Erik Olin Wright’s decadeslong research program on “real utopias” is instructive. Wright never lost sight of conceiving in bold yet imaginable terms a world of tomorrow that was also rooted in today’s pragmatic realities, squaring the circle of a wishful long game and the acceptance of the here and now.
In arguing for the critical importance of the future for the success of the democratic project, White is highly persuasive. But in trying to answer how the future could be reimagined, his analysis is less convincing. Out of fear of alienating, it seems, a progressive constituency, he stands guilty of diluting his most salient points while preaching the return of an old ideological politics. When trying to suggest the way out of the current age of emergencies, White starts to sound like a nostalgic leftist. His plea for the return of the revolutionary party strongly committed to a future project sounds noble but is ultimately unrealistic, as the absence of any suggestions for how to create this collective ideological project in his book seems to attest. In recent decades, the spontaneous resurrection of ideological politics has become the left’s version of alchemy.
White’s most important suggestion is also the least inspirational. In his view, the only way to escape the trap of a politics of emergency is to confront head-on the apocalyptic appeal of both the climate left and the great replacement right. Alexis de Tocqueville was one of the first to assert that the discourse of crisis is the native language of any genuine democracy. Democratic politics, he claimed, need drama. “As the election approaches,” Tocqueville observed in his classic travelogue, Democracy in America, “intrigue becomes more active and agitation lively and more widespread. The entire nation falls into a feverish state. 
 As soon as fortune has pronounced 
 everything becomes calm, and the river, one moment overflowed, returns peacefully to its bed.”
Democracy thus operates by framing the normal as catastrophic, while promising that all crises are surmountable, thus framing catastrophe as normal. Democratic politics functions as a nationwide therapy session where voters are confronted with their worst nightmares—a new war, demographic collapse, economic crisis, environmental horror—but are convinced they have the power to avert the devastation. In other words, democratic politics is impossible without a persistent oscillation between excessive overdramatization and trivialization of the problems we face. Elections lose their cogency when they fail to convince us that we’re confronting an unprecedented crisis and that we have it in our power to avert it.
It is at this point that the climate left ceases to be a friend of democracy—not because it is wrong in its judgment of the existential threat of global warming, but because its apocalyptic discourse prevents democracy from finding its necessary solutions. As White argues convincingly, “The sense of finality that fills today’s world is central to its volatility.”
In this context, it is worth comparing the anti-nuclear movement of the 1970s to the extinction rebellion of today. It is impossible to overstate the apocalyptic impact of the atomic bomb. For a world emerging from the ashes of World War II, the bomb was the end of the world imagined. But in political terms, preventing nuclear disaster was far easier than preventing climate disaster. To prevent nuclear disaster, it was enough for Soviet and American leaders to refrain from using the ultimate weapon. There was no time dimension. The success was to persuade the leaders of the two superpowers of what not to do. In a nuclear disaster, almost all of humanity will die simultaneously.
It is not the same with a climate disaster. It will take a longer time. At least initially, there will be winners and losers. And success will be measured not by telling leaders what not to do, but by convincing them to do certain things without necessarily a consensus around what might work. So, while the threat of nuclear disaster succeeded in mobilizing a global response that was a political success, the risk is that the climate emergency can result in fatalism and demobilization.
This banalization of catastrophe is the only way to make democracy work. Ultimately, this is also White’s important and necessary conclusion, one that he is shy to endorse. As the literary critic Frank Kermode argued, “Crisis is a way of thinking about one’s moment, and not inherent in the moment itself.” Our apocalyptic views of crisis and catastrophe are ways of making sense of the world, of rendering it intelligible.
White diagnoses today’s actually existing system of Western democracy as one exhausted of political imagination. The diagnosis is appropriate, but we should look closer to the cultural factors that have caused this exhaustion.
Reinhart Koselleck, the German intellectual historian, is helpful here in that he always insisted that modernity is defined in the dialectic between the “space of experience” and the “horizon of expectation.” But recently, something radical has again happened to both dimensions of our existence. Humankind’s recent collective migration into virtual reality redefines how we understand experience. Do we have war experience if we spent countless hours playing war games on our computer or if we religiously followed reports of ongoing wars happening elsewhere?
At the same time, the expectations about our own mortality are undergoing dramatic transformations. Could it be that we have reached the moment when nations start to look mortal while individuals are reluctant to take their own mortality for granted? It might be safe to argue that the changing demography of Western societies, their aging and shrinking, is one of the factors of the exhaustion of political imagination. Does an often childless younger generation view the future the same way that previous generations focused on the life of their children did? Is the diminishment of the nation-state in most parts of the West not at least partially responsible for the decline of the future? Is collective imagination, particularly a collective demographic imagination, in elective affinity with the nation-state?
And is the impotence of our collective imagination not related to the fact that, for some, particularly those resident in Silicon Valley, immortality is a project to be achieved in the very near future? Some informed observers believe the person who will live for 200 years has already been born. In this perversely paradoxical sense, anxiety about the apocalypse is fueled by our hope to cancel it forever. In our secular world, apocalypse is simply our own death.
In the same way that the invention of the modern individual was a precondition for the emergence of democracy in modern times, it is the hope of individual immortality that marks the end of collective dreams. Many would agree with Woody Allen when he explained, “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don’t want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.”
The vanishing future is probably the most critical element for the current crisis of democracy. But it can’t be overcome by simply advocating for more democracy. And while White may not offer the needed answers, he is doing something even more important, and long overdue, by asking the right questions.
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mysisypheannightmare · 2 years ago
Text
Stress Dreams
Word Count: 4480
Warnings: Stress/stressful situations, anxiety, financial discussions (it's a trigger for me, so just in case), deadlines/time-sensitive events, negative thinking, not exactly unsympathetic sides but no one is being nice to each other here (save for c!Thomas, he's fine), emotional/mental breakdown, unhealthy coping mechanisms
–
Another stressful day, another daunting responsibility to attend to.
Logan was summoned early in the morning, finding Thomas already on the verge of panic, insisting that he'd completely forgotten to get his internet bill paid a few weeks ago, even though Logan had him set multiple reminders because Thomas had managed to forget about it last month, too.
They were going to be filming later today, so if he still wanted to have working wifi for all his necessary equipment, that meant he needed to check over his funds, get everything he needed allocated into one account, contact the internet provider over the phone because he knew the late payment wouldn't process through the website per the company's inane policy, and then transfer the funds with the attached late fee over, all before the provider turned off his service.
And, of course, Thomas was too stressed to think straight and would need Logan to do all that for him, but what else was new?
Logan kept his frustration over the ordeal to himself. There was no need to upset or guilt Thomas any further and it wouldn't help matters anyway. He did tell Thomas to set another reminder in his phone as he sank out, just so that this didn't happen yet again and continue to stress him out.
Logan could only hope he'd take his suggestion into consideration.
Back in his room, Logan got right to work, aware of the looming deadline.
First, he checked to see if he could ascertain the payment amount needed, including the late fee. But when Logan checked, it was clear Thomas did not have this knowledge in his short-term memory.
Great.
He added another task to the list, with the alternative option at the ready of simply making a phone call to the internet provider to verify the amount first, then calling back again once the proper amount had been moved to an accessible account for processing the payment.
Easy enough, even if it was more time-consuming than necessary.
Moving on, Logan verified which bank accounts were accessible. Thomas only had so many, but there was a big difference between a bank and a payment service, plus Thomas had yet to get around to connecting all his online accounts to direct deposit to his checking or savings account, despite Logan's consistent reminders.
Logan verified Thomas had plenty of funds available on his PayPal account, but he'd need to transfer to one of his bank accounts to process the payment over the phone. At least, that's how it was supposed to work, so he followed the same procedure he used last time this happened.
And, of course, when Logan checked if Thomas remembered his password to get into his debit account, he found no such information in the short-term memory. Again.
Sighing, Logan added it to the list.
While he was glad Thomas wasn't using old passwords or writing them on sticky notes to get around remembering them as they were changed, he had to wonder if his financial security was truly safe with how often Thomas had to reset his passwords due to his forgetfulness.
And, really, his forgetting was likely Logan's fault. Maybe Logan should start storing some of the long-term memory files in his room for easier access? Short-term memory didn't take up too much space, even if he really wished he could get rid of the enormous stack of files currently dedicated only to names of various Pokemon. Because that is clearly such important information, as opposed to the password for Thomas' goddamn bank account.
Logan took a breath. No need to get worked up over it. There was no point in emotions, anyway.
He glanced around his room for a moment, wondering why he hadn't thought to adjust those files earlier. This had happened before, so why hadn't he addressed this particular issue then? It couldn't have been all that long ago

He checked the clock. In a little while, he'd just need to have Thomas contact the internet provider, ask for the exact amount, then transfer that amount to his bank account, then call back to pay that amount, and then verify the service was still working properly before they started filming.
Easy, simple, shouldn't be too stressful.
He got up, ducking into long-term memory storage - or what he often referred to as The Library - and looking around to see if he could locate the bank account password before the calling hours started.
Storage was never the most organized, as Thomas would store information very randomly at times, and Logan only had so much time and energy each day to attempt to make sense of it all, categorizing what he could.
Thankfully, he had established a file cabinet for miscellaneous passwords and headed there.
He flipped through the different folders, seemingly for much longer than he thought would be necessary, but eventually finding one filled with various bank accounts. Old ones, new ones... Ah, there it is!
He opted to just take the file with him and headed back to his room. Easier access that way, right?
He returned to his desk and tried the password on the bank account...but it didn't work. He verified the spelling and number order and tried again, but it still didn't work.
The error message was vague, not explaining what was wrong about the entered password at all, and Logan tried not to feel frustrated.
Okay, clearly Thomas had updated the password more recently than when the file was made. Understandable. He could just reset it again and add the new information to the file since it was already there, right? Right.
The call-in hours for the internet provider had arrived, but he was sure Thomas could wait a few minutes to reset his account password first. He went through the steps, authenticating through Thomas' phone and email, then set the new password - something secure but simple enough to remember this time. Hopefully, anyway.
He marked it down on the bottom of the open file on his desk, and added the date next to it for good measure.
Finally, he was able to access the account. Everything was in order and he wouldn't have any delay in the PayPal transfer once he knew the exact amount needed for payment.
He pushed down the feeling of relief. He was just doing what he was supposed to; there was no need for emotions here.
He sank out to join Thomas in his living room, knowing he'd need to guide him through the first and second call, just like last time.
Thomas was nervous but handled the hold music and robotic operator voices just fine. Virgil didn't show up to add to the chaos, so Logan figured that meant he was doing a well-enough job keeping Thomas calm and collected. Once the representative picked up, Thomas gave his information and was able to retrieve the balance. However, the representative informed Thomas that if the payment wasn't made shortly, they would be shutting the service off and it may take hours to have a technician come out to his house to turn it back on. Logan was aware this was mainly a tactic used to rush customers into a decision and pay unnecessary fees to prevent the service being stopped, but he assured Thomas they had everything ready to go and to tell the agent they would be calling back very soon to complete the payment.
They were right on track with very few issues.
Logan was satisfied, despite the process taking so long.
Thomas hung up the phone and Logan asked him to wait while he returned to his room to finish the fund transfer that would be needed next.
It wouldn't take long, though it wasn't always as instant of a transfer as the service liked to boast. But, given it was considered a marvel of technology to be able to confirm through multiple servers the existence of imaginary numbers in only seconds, he couldn't exactly complain. At least people didn't have to actually go to the bank anymore or, god forbid, write out a check. He was honestly rather grateful that Thomas never had to do that, as it'd probably be a nightmare to teach him while also balancing the other sides' input on the matter. It was Logan's least favorite part of any mundane task, really.
Logan shook his head, clearing his thoughts. This wasn't the time for that.
Once the transfer was complete and Logan verified the funds were available in the account, he sank back out to return to where he'd left Thomas.
He was surprised to find multiple sides occupying the living room area once he rose up.
"If you don't decide on this right now, the whole date could be in jeopardy!" He heard Roman shout.
Oh, wonderful. Logan pinched the bridge of his nose. They were fussing over Thomas' date with Nico later tonight, as if there was any reason to worry about that at 9 o' clock in the morning...
"We wouldn't want a repeat of last time," Patton agreed. "If you pick something now, you won't have to worry about it later."
Logan stepped forward and attempted to use the spare moment of silence to his advantage.
"Unfortunately, Patton, Thomas has some other, more pressing matters to attend to at the moment, so it will indeed have to wait until later."
He turned to Thomas, ready to instruct him on the second phone call to complete the transaction and fix the problem at hand, but he felt Roman's hand on his shoulder and suddenly, he was being pushed back.
"Oh, no, you don't!" Roman jeered, his face leaning in far too close for comfort. "We got here first, Mister Know-It-All. You don't get to just waltz in here and decide what's more important, alright?"
Logan frowned, unimpressed.
"Actually," he replied, "I was already in the process of completing--"
Roman shoved a hand over his mouth.
"Don't care, didn't ask."
Logan grimaced and stepped back, getting away from Roman. He glanced down at his watch. They were still technically making good time. He could probably salvage this if he could just convince Thomas to finish his task first.
"Thomas," he called out, stepping around Roman this time, "if we could continue where we left off--"
This time, Patton cut him off, literally stepping into his path with a smile.
"Logan, you understand how important this is. Once we've taken care of this, you can go on with your little project, okay?"
Logan's eye twitched and it took nearly all his willpower to keep himself from balling his hands into fists. Patton's condescending tone, especially when he had no idea what Logan was talking about and therefore no precedence to downplay his commitments and duties to Thomas like that, was one of the most infuriating things he ever had to hear.
Patton only ever seemed to use it to mock Logan, as if he knew better. If only someone had bothered to tell Patton that embodying someone's morality does not make you just and above others.
Logan swallowed dryly, his eyes feeling hot. It was fine. This was fine. He couldn't lose his cool here. It wouldn't be appropriate nor productive to the task at hand.
He took a deep breath and resolutely ignored Patton, stepping around him, as well.
What he honestly hadn't expected was for Virgil to get in his way next.
He wanted to roll his eyes. How much more ridiculous and time-consuming did this have to be? He just wanted to get this last call done and the transaction over with so he could move onto his next daunting task of handling all the checks for the filming equipment before they started today's shoot.
Was that really so much to ask?
He wanted to peer back down at his watch, as it felt like this was taking far too long. For some reason, he didn't, though,he just stared at Virgil, waiting for whatever nonsensical excuse for why their mission was so much more important than his. But as time continued to pass, Virgil said nothing.
Annoyed but still trying to hide it, he asked Virgil rather bluntly,
"Surely you know what I'm trying to get done here, Virgil. Are you not concerned about the service getting cut before the shoot?"
Virgil grimaced, wringing his hands in front of him.
"Thomas can live without wi-fi for a couple hours. What he can't live with is Nico dumping him all because he dresses like a fourth-grader!"
Logan blinked a few times before finally just burying his face in his hands. That's what this nonsense was about?! Thomas' dress code for his date later that night?
This was the absolute wrong time to be having such an inane discussion! Why did they always have to choose the worst times for these things?!
"I would...very much appreciate it," Logan spoke from behind his hands, trying not to sound angry, even as the feeling seemed to boil and bubble up in his chest, "if you all could let me finish this task
so we can remain on schedule...for the day."
He heard Roman laugh and it took everything he had not to immediately pull his hands down to glare at the other side.
"We're not gonna stop just so you can do some stupid nerd business first thing in the morning, Four Eyes."
Logan gritted his teeth, pulling his hands down anyway.
"This is not--!" he stopped and tried to collect himself again. Stay calm. Don't get upset.
He took a breath and tried again.
"We have a shoot later today. Don't you prefer our equipment to be functional and working properly enough to get the job done?"
Surely Roman would understand the importance of completing the episodes on time, since they were such a high priority.
"Functional?" Roman mocked. "Since when does that matter? You're not functional and yet you still get the job done, right?"
It was far from a funny joke, but Roman seemed to find it amusing anyway, laughing away.
Logan hated that he could feel it. Each chuckle seemed to match searing shots of heat and pain under his skin.
He couldn't lose it here. He needed to remain in control. Maybe if he backed down a little bit, they would stop long enough for him to get Thomas back on track?
It was worth a shot.
"While your statement seems rather contradictory, I won't refute it," Logan conceded, ignoring the pangs in his chest at his own words. He continued, speaking as concisely as possible,
"But in order to keep things running smoothly for the rest of the day, I need to complete this task with Thomas first. So, if you'll allow me
"
He stepped forward again, to try to get past the others and back to Thomas.
Predictably, he was stopped again.
A hand shot out to pull him back by his shoulder and he turned to see Janus standing there. A surprise, considering Logan hadn't noticed him there just moments ago.
"I'm afraid we won't be
" Janus told him with a smirk. He dropped his hand and hastily added, "Allowing you, that is."
Logan huffed in response. What was the purpose of constantly keeping him from such a time-sensitive task? And especially when all the rest of them cared about was something that could easily wait until later?
It wasn't like he didn't recognize why they were trying to prevent an issue for Thomas later, but could it really not wait another five minutes? At least until he could get Thomas' pressing issue handled and under control? He had specifically asked Logan for help, and there were already so few opportunities for Logan to prove his reliability to Thomas as it were. He couldn't fail here just because the others were so preoccupied with something frankly unnecessary and not worth their fretting at all!
Janus stared at him, or perhaps through him, and smirked again as he stood in his way.
"Just because it's what needs to be done doesn't mean it's what Thomas wants to get done," Janus offered. "You know that better than anyone, don't you?"
Logan glared at him. Was their concern for Thomas at this moment only targeted to piss Logan off somehow? It seemed preposterous to consider such a notion, but with phrasing like that, it sure seemed as though this had all been planned.
He quickly looked away, trying not to let his anger overwhelm him.
It was fine. Most likely, he was overthinking their actions. It wasn't as though this hadn't happened in the past, far more times than he cared to count. They were only doing what they all believed best for Thomas, which meant it had nothing to do with Logan personally, because it never did.
Really, that was the issue he was having here - their collective inconsideration for what he was trying to do for Thomas.
"I want to help, just the same as all of you," he said through gritted teeth.
He clenched his fists at his sides, trying in vain to stay calm.
Through mocking laughter and sarcastic remarks that broke out from many of the sides surrounding him now, he could hear yet another voice chime in, saying,
"Help with what? Putting Thomas in an early grave?"
Remus.
So the gang's all here, then, huh?
Logan opened his mouth to reply, but nothing but silence fell out.
This had been such a waste of time! He could have completed the task by now with ease, if only the others would just listen to him, for once!
Why did it always come to this? Why did they always insist they knew better?
It felt like fire was leaping up his throat, attempting to escape from within. He clamped his jaw shut, trying to not react, to not feel anything.
The others continued to laugh and he turned around to locate Thomas, but couldn't see him behind the others anymore. Where was Thomas? They still had to make that second call!
Oh, no. Had he taken too long that Thomas forgot and went off to do something else? But this could still affect the shoot later! Didn't he remember how distraught he'd gotten last time this happened? Didn't he want to prevent that from happening again?
If he had just listened to Logan in the first place, this wouldn't have happened again, either, but he couldn't exactly hold that against Thomas when it was far easier to point the blame at all the other sides continuing to laugh and speak to each other loudly and obnoxiously as he turned to try to get away yet again.
He turned towards Virgil, thinking he could squeeze by, but he stepped in front of him again.
They never liked his ideas, despite the piles of proof to his merit and efficacy in his methods.
He turned back towards Roman, thinking to dodge around him, but Roman stepped towards him, backing him right into Patton.
They hated when he showed up to any discussion, as though his mere presence soured any mood.
Patton grabbed his shoulders and Logan jerked away, only to be stopped by Janus, giving him that smug expression from earlier.
They despised his function, his necessity to Thomas, something he had absolutely no control over, and for what?
His eyes felt hot. His skin felt tinged with heat, burning from the inside and rolling over and over through him, painful, uncontrollable.
The more he pushed, the metaphorical finish line practically within sight, the more pushback he received in turn, their mockery and vitriol coming out for such a pointless venture. What did they gain in preventing the completion of his task? Did emotions really render them so incapable of reason?
He couldn't take it anymore!
"Uh-oh! Looks like someone's about to lose his trademark cool!" Remus chided, still laughing.
Yes, in fact, he was, but this wasn't even about that! Apparently, it had nothing to do with Logan at all! All he wanted, all he ever hoped to do was to help Thomas. For once, he just wanted to be useful!
But he couldn't do that! And it was all their damn fault!
He wanted to scream, but he knew - he just Knew - that the moment he opened his mouth, his words would be laced in that fire. He wouldn't be able to take it back.
He suddenly found he didn't care. To hell with it, right? Maybe they'd finally fucking listen to him if it hurt them to hear it?
His head felt hazy for a moment, but he opened his mouth, ready.
It was silent.
The fire still burned in his throat, his eyes and skin seemed to pulse with this unending heat, yet he couldn't speak. He couldn't get this rage out, it was still locked inside.
Why? Why now? He has this moment and he can't even use it?
The tears running down his face sting as they fall.
Was this how it would always be? Was this how it always has been?
–
Logan jolted awake, eyes immediately wide as he panted loudly into the silence of his dark room. His hands clenched tightly around his blanket, he slowly became aware of himself.
His eyes barely adjusted, everything he could see was a blur.
He was covered in sweat, his body felt overheated, and it was far too warm in his room.
He threw the blanket off him and reached out blindly for his glasses, only to quickly put them on as soon as he found them.
His room was empty. Dark. It was clearly the middle of the night.
He tried to slow his breathing and recall what had just happened. He had the urge to rush over to his computer and verify Thomas' payments, but he already knew

He
had been asleep. That wasn't real. None of it was.
It took a moment, but once reality caught back up with him, his mind quickly assured him - that incident had never happened. The original one about Thomas' power going out hadn't even happened, either.
He'd had that damn dream repeatedly over the past few months, in a few different variations, any time he managed to get more than four hours of sleep in one night.
He peered over at his alarm clock. 5:16 AM.
There it was. He'd gone to bed just before midnight, so that explained it all.
His breathing started to slow and even back out. It took longer than necessary to calm down and he hated that.
That was always the worst part of those stupid stress dreams. They got him all emotionally worked-up, until he felt like he was going to explode.
It always felt awful.
Whatever had happened at the end of this last dream, though, had stoppered the explosion, but it felt worse than the dreams where he did let it out, where he ranted and screamed and kicked in any attempt to get his way.
Stopping it from happening felt
unfulfilling.
But, shouldn't that have been a good thing? To stop it?
He sighed and stood up.
There was no point dwelling on events that would never happen. If he was awake, he might as well make himself useful and get ready for the day.
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strawbrrychan · 2 years ago
Text
your side ; hwang hyunjin
HERE IT IS !!!! (partly)
DISCLAIMER!!!!! this is only a sneak peek of what I've been working on... I hope you enjoy!
pairing: Hyunjin x g/n!reader
genre: romance, angst, hints of fluff??
Growing up with Hyunjin, you could only remember good things - if anything at all. When you were little, the two of you were practically connected at the hip. Whoever was around would quite literally have to peel you off of each other- you both cried every time. Your parents had become friends quickly, thus making you and the blonde the same way. You had played at each other’s houses all the time, watched shows while eating gummies, bathed together, and did whatever else your little imaginations would bring you. If you had baby photos, it was guaranteed that Hyunjin was in at least half of them. It was always “you and him against the world”, you remember promising him. Not much changed throughout primary school, your seemingly endless playdates at the park continued. When middle school rolled around, you got closer- sleepovers every weekend, study sessions which turned into tickle fights, and movie marathons was more than regular for you. And even with high school gnawing away at you, you still managed to pull your way through with him at your side. 
Hyunjin was known well for his good looks. He’s practically a walking wet dream as a high school student. You didn’t think there was a girl who wasn’t head-over-heels for him at some point, he’s just that beautiful. Every year there were at least three girls that approached you, asking if Hyunjin was interested in a relationship, or what his ideal type was like.
Thus, at the beginning of your junior year, Hyunjin had managed to have his eye on someone.
“She’s pretty, don’t you think?” Hyunjin asked you with a tired face, the early autumn breeze swirling around your bodies as you entered the school building. “Who? That girl you like? What’s her name
” you trailed off, searching the depths of your mind to remember. Hyunjin mentioned her a lot, but you could never seem to recall it. “Minhee,” he reminded, his voice lowering so no one could hear him. “Thank you,” you nodded, hoping you’ll remember her name at some point.
She was tall; taller than you at least, with short brown hair around shoulder-length. She had gorgeous, shimmering brown eyes and a sharp nose too. Her skin was like porcelain; pale, and practically untouched. She was borderline flawless. Everyone you knew had a crush on her at some point. There was never a time where you didn’t hear Minhee’s name buzzing around the halls. She was pretty, and she was popular - everything you could want in a girl in high school. 
And yet, with cold autumn breezes fading into the bitter frost of late October, Hyunjin had already devised a plan to ask Minhee out by the end of that semester. You loathed the idea wholeheartedly, never really trusting her even as she grew closer to not only Hyunjin, but to you as well. Although Minhee treated you kindly, you couldn’t help but be slightly wary of her. 
He was going to take her to an ice skating rink, and then get them both coffee from her favorite shop nearby. “That’s the most important part,” he told you. You loved how observant and considerate he always was, picking up minor details that any other person would have deemed insignificant. 
Hyunjin called you that night, preparing for his date with the girl. “My little baby is all grown up!” You laughed, sneering at your camera. What he wore wasn’t anything special, considering the bitter cold knocking outside your warm homes. But Hwang Hyunjin could make a potato sack look good, so it didn’t matter much. “Do I look okay?” He stressed, standing in front of his phone, looking at himself. He wore a black turtleneck with dark blue jeans, and a grey wool button down coat on top. His hair was its usual style; half of it tied into a loose ponytail with the rest of it resting above his shoulders. You stared at him for a moment, frowning. “What?” He asked, fear written all over his face. “Do I look ugly? Is the coat too much?” You couldn’t help but laugh at this, how he could even think for a moment that he, the one and only Hwang Hyunjin, could look ugly. 
“I’m teasing you,” you said after calming your laughter. “You look amazing. Minhee’s gonna love it.” You smiled. “And regardless, its cold out! We can’t have our little baby getting cold!” You watched his face intently, his sweet eye-smile showing its way through the screen. 
“Okay, I have to leave now.” Hyunjin announced, picking up his phone and holding it closer to his face. “I’ll tell you how it goes!” 
“Have fun,” you smiled again, “Don’t get her pregnant!” You teased, before hanging up. 
Hyunjin huffed, shoving his phone into his jacket before ushering himself out of his house and to the car. He flopped into the driver’s seat, typing the directions to his date’s home. He turned to look at himself in the rearview mirror once more, before shoving his keys into the ignition and driving down the street. It only took him a few wrong turns and a handful of short stops to reach her house. He smiled at the thought of being with her for such a long period of time. His phone buzzed once more, Minhee telling him that she was on her way. He smiled at his screen, quickly lifting his head to meet Minhee. She walked in an unbuttoned pink sweater over a white t-shirt with a rose bush on it, as well as light washed jeans and a pair of white boots. A pink beret sat neatly on top of her head, pulling the look together. Hyunjin exited the car quickly, meeting his date at the bottom of her stairs. 
“You look wonderful,” he smiled down at her, guiding her to the opposite car door, opening it for her. She smiled, thanking him and sitting in the passenger’s seat. He joined her in the car, pulling out of the driveway and making their way down the street. 
A few bruised butts and trips over the other person (and a few other skaters), their time spent at the ice skating rink was up. With shared laughter and light brushes of hands, they made their way into the dimly lit streets. Hyunjin’s body shivered, snowflakes finding their way into his hair as he sauntered down the street. “It’s so pretty like this,” Minhee spoke, her warm breath escaping her mouth and floating away with the wind. Hyunjin nodded, a smile forming on his face as he watched her. His gentle footsteps began to taper, leading him to a complete stop before he took out his phone. He pointed it towards his date, snapping a few photos of her admiring the setting. Hyunjin brought his phone down again, studying the photos he took with a small grin forming on his lips. “Hey!” Hyunjin’s head shot up, his eyes meeting a very upset Minhee. She jogged over to him with a playful smile on her face, a tinge of pink at the end of her nose from the bitter frost surrounding them. “You were just gonna leave me walking like that?” She laughed, peering over his shoulder to see what he was looking at. Her face softened, studying the candids he took of her. Hyunjin lifted his eyes slowly, drinking in Minhee’s features. He never noticed the light dusting of freckles across the apples of her cheeks, or the small beauty mark on the tip of her nose. He could feel his face heating up, the realization of the proximity of their faces finally processing. He swore his heart would’ve bursted out of his chest if it weren’t for his ribcage shielding it. “Its so cold, let’s find that coffee shop, yeah?” Hyunjin smiled, praying his voice wouldn’t falter. He began walking again, slipping his phone into his back pocket and wrapping his opposite arm around Minhee’s significantly smaller shoulders. 
Minhee let out a small huff, with a cloud of steam following it as they continued walking to the coffee shop in the distance. 
Hyunjin rubbed his arms vigorously, following Minhee inside. A small bell chimed, notifying the worker at the register that more customers had come in. The cashier’s head lifted above the pastry glass, a soft smile forming as the couple approached it. “Can I have a small iced americano please?” He asked, taking a step back for Minhee to see the menu, looking around. “And can I have a small matcha latte with steamed milk please?” The cashier nodded, typing in their order. Hyunjin payed for their drinks, and walked over to where Minhee sat. The walls were a soft pink, complimented by streaks of brown and white. Hyunjin watched Minhee, as she stared at the gentle white flakes whirling in the wind. 
“Are you enjoying yourself at least? I hope I’m not boring you!” A sheepish smile crept onto his face. “Of course I am,” she replied, smiling directly at him. “I’m with you.” Hyunjin could feel a gentle blush crawl up his neck and onto his face. “I-I think they just called our coffees,” he said quickly, “I’ll go get them.”
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mystaero · 2 years ago
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The Void as My Home: An Autobiography
Born an innocent male babe in a hospital at Quezon City on the eighth of September, 2004, I, Jericho Louis B. Jumawan, was already privileged. Not that I remember anything, but what I know is that I have been assured by my mother that no fly would lay on my skin. That’s how I knew I was living a life some may consider still not enough, but to some, already a dream. I am the younger brother to my sister with an eleven-year age gap and the only male child of my mother and biological father. Though my family originally came from Manila, eventually we moved places and houses as years went by and I was raised in Caloocan up to present. Years and moments passed, things changed and soon developed a different route to my life. This was just the beginning of a long journey of mine.
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I was confused growing up. For some reason, now looking back, it felt like so. It’s as if I was trapped in a void, even though I wasn’t. As if I was hidden of many things I am yet to know—that I am supposed to know. Then year 2012, I knew my stepfather, the father I knew growing up was never my real father. It was a hard pill to swallow at a young age of eight as a child’s mind only begins to develop—barely. Though tough, I wasn’t sure how to handle such things, I somehow just did. I moved on from it and was grateful for the father I have now. My biological father, however, I resented. I knew no consideration nor forgiveness for what he has done to destroy my family. Now, that resentment bloomed. I could say that I could care less, that I don’t mind it, which is the truth, but that does not mean that I will learn how to forgive.
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The void expanded. I was a “chubby” kid since then. Eventually, I got tired of all the “compliments” I received. It developed into an insecurity. At a young age, I chose to wear big clothes to hide my physique. When puberty started to hit, around year 2017, I started to lose weight. That was when I was then made jokes and fun of for being “too thin.” So, still, I wore bigger clothes, sweaters and jackets, to cover my body, trying not to show any skin whatsoever.
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The void consumed me eventually. This started around the same time of the year 2017 onwards. Points of no return whether to give up or give in. A voice in that abyss whispered to me not to be afraid and just be myself. It was easier said than done, I thought. But not if I have someone in that abyss to accompany me: myself. Baby steps, I made the move. I made the small steps up until I was already doing leaps. From writing, gaming, finally going back to dancing, pursuing some other interests from here and there, and so on. I felt almighty. Alone in that abyss, I felt stronger than ever.
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At that same time, heartbreaks. It eventually came. From parents, past connections, friends, so on. I took every ounce of pity to trash and left only love for myself. I figured I needed nothing but only love for who I am so I can conquer the unfortunate events coming to late. Chaotic was an understatement of a word to explain it. As harsh as these words may sound, but to me, these weren’t fabricated words taught to me by myself as I ventured throughout my journey of seeing through the outside of the void.
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The abyss was too kind to me. Though alone in my own sanctuary, I still had friends and found better ones. Better people that would reciprocate the love I have for myself being reflected to them, then to me. It was more than just a connection, but rather a relationship—a bond. That abyss was more than just a thought inside my head that I had ever since I was a child, it was my safe place. A place of nothing that I made into something more.
In that abyss, with all my gratitude to it, I made changes to myself—some were to make me decide better, some were to make me stronger. In that place I had, I made peace to myself. That all what I had in the past; the privileges, pain, suffering, happiness, nonsense, all were considered, but not tolerated anymore. I started anew, far from the person people expected me to be, but what my “selves” wish me to be.
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to more, to growth, to love
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yoome · 5 months ago
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Tips on How to Become an Escort's Favorite Client
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Investigate and analyze your Pune callgirls services wherever you required. Does she have an online presence, does she have ads that run for at least six months, and does she have evaluations (even if some pune escorts object to being reviewed)? Before contacting her by email or phone, look up her number on Google. Additionally, be prepared for her to want to show you for her own protection; show consideration and provide her with the information she requires. Arrive on time, or give someone a call if you anticipate being more than ten minutes late. If you don't notify people long in advance of a schedule change, plan to make up for the time you lost. Even if you arrive at 7:15 when your 60-minute day was supposed to start at 7, STILL LEAVE at 8.
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whiteqnn · 3 years ago
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PURE [5] - Corpse Husband x Fem!Reader
A/N: It’s been a while.  
part 1
part 2
part 3
part 4
PURE [5]
“Did you guys find anybody?” Felix’s voice sounded out when the man repeated the same question for what seemed like the third time since he joined the call. The number of players showed 7 of them, which meant that they were still missing three people. Sure, they could start the game now, but it would be way more enjoyable and funny with a full lobby. 
“Yeah, Toast will be here any moment. “Sykkuno replied right away. “He just texted me; he should join us in a few.”
“Cool. Anyone else?” 
“I think Corpse was also supposed to join us, right? Not sure though why he isn’t here yet.” 
“Oh, yeah, Corpse will be here soon too!” Jack suddenly chimed in with an explanation. “He said he needed to take care of something first, but he’ll be here before we start.” 
“Great. But that means we’re still one person short.” Felix hummed when Toast’s little astronaut appeared in the lobby “Hey Toast."
“Hey man.”
“Do you have anyone coming?”
“I’m afraid not. I asked MrBeast, but he’s busy, so...”
“Well then, we can just start when Corpse is here, and maybe we’ll find someone in the meantime?” Dave suggested, earning a few hums of approval from the other players. 
“Yeah, I think that’s the best option...” Jack agreed. But then his voice blared out in everyone’s headphones with excitement. “Ha! Corpse is bringing someone!” 
“Who?” 
“I dunno, he just texted me he has one coming and that’s all.” 
“Hm, all right. Let’s wait then.”
***
Corpse fidgeted with his phone, glancing between its screen and the chat in his stream. People were already asking countless questions, but rather than answering them, he was waiting for Y/N to call him. He was nervous - the girl still hadn’t commented on his request. 
The idea to invite her to the lobby wasn’t spontaneous. In fact, he’d been thinking about it for quite some time now, but never found the courage to actually ask if she would like to join them for the game.
It’s been almost a month now since that memorable phone call. A month since Y/N last played with her friends; a month since she considerably reduced her social media usage. 
Sure, she was still active on her youtube channel, but not as much as before the whole haters situation. No matter how hard she tried to just ignore them and simply continue her career, she just couldn’t. There were still these nagging thoughts at the back of her mind, reminding her of all those people and their comments, their messages. It seemed like a good idea to take a short break and sort everything out.
Her fans understood it. They were obviously sad that her videos weren’t as frequent as before, but everyone knew what the situation looked like and that Y/N needed some time for herself. 
Her audience knew it, and so did her friends. Especially Corpse. 
The man kept his word and talked to the girl whenever she wanted to. Which, in the end, was almost everyday. Although at the beginning their conversations mostly focused on her current problem and dealing with it, their topics broadened over the time. 
At one point though, Y/N started worrying that maybe she’s annoying him with her so frequent calls. She thought that she shouldn’t bother him that much - even if talking to him was what really helped her cope with her problems. He already had enough on his plate, and sharing her own concerns with him suddenly seemed like a very selfish thing to do.
But she quickly realized how wrong she was for thinking like that. When one day she didn’t call, figuring out that she should stop troubling him with her own issues, she was very surprised when Corpse reached out to her himself. He expressed how worried he got when she didn’t call, and when she explained what was the reason, he spent the next fifteen minutes lecturing her that she should never think she’s bothering him. 
From that day on, they talked every single day. And they talked about almost everything.
Corpse enjoyed their late night-talks more than anything. He liked to listen to Y/N talk about the things she finds exciting, her hobbies, and her dreams. Hell, she could talk about what she ate for breakfast, and he would still listen with interest. 
And even though they haven’t seen each other in person, even though she still hasn’t seen his face, they managed to get really close during those past weeks. For an outside observer (who also didn’t have access to Twitter) they would seem like a couple of very good friends.
But not for Corpse.
He couldn’t pinpoint when exactly did it happen. They were talking one evening and Y/N was telling him about the TV series she had finished watching recently. He listened intently and watched as her facial expressions changed from excited to frustrated, as she was enumerating everything she liked and disliked about the series finale.
And then he suddenly got this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, and simply couldn’t take his eyes off her. 
He tried to play it off and act as if nothing changed, but he couldn’t stop his heart from doing backflips whenever she laughed at one of his dumb jokes or called him partner. It was still a running joke between them and among the group of their friends, but there was something in the way she said it that made him instantly smile like an idiot. 
He also started paying more attention to the hashtags on Twitter and Instagram. #PartnersInCrime was still rather popular, even though it was a month since anyone last used this phrase on stream. Corpse also found out that #Y/Nforthebride was trending for some time; he even managed to stumble across a few fanarts. 
There was this urge to send them to Y/N, but he was too nervous that it would make things awkward between them... After all, he didn’t know how she felt about that whole shipping thing. 
That’s why he decided to just leave things between them as they are, and be happy that he’s at least her friend.  
Corpse nearly jumped out of his skin, when he was brought back to reality by the sound of an upcoming FaceTime call. Y/N’s photo appeared on his screen, her smiley face which he had assigned as her contact photo. His lips corners curled up in a smile almost unwittingly. 
“Hey Y/N/N” he said after answering the call. 
“Hi Corpse” she smiled softly upon hearing his voice. Although the screen on her side was dark, she didn’t mind not seeing Corpse’s face. She respected his wish to remain faceless and enjoyed their conversations anyway. 
“Whatcha doin’?”
“Just editing the new video. I guess I’ll upload it in the morning... but I’m not sure yet.”
“Well let me know then, I wanna be the first one to see it.” 
“Sure thing, Corpse” she chuckled, lowering her gaze bashfully. Corpse just looked at her face for a moment, unable to stop smiling to himself. Then he remembered why they were talking in the first place.
“So... have you seen my text?” Y/N sighed at his question but nodded her head slowly. “And what do you think?”
“I don’t know, Corpse...” she ran a hand through her hair in a nervous gesture. “...if that’s a good idea, I mean.”
“Well, it’s been a while. No pressure though, if you don’t wanna play then it’s totally fine.” he quickly clarified. “I just thought it would be fun if you joined us, even if just for a moment. I’m sure everyone would go crazy.” 
Her smile widened slightly at his words, but she still didn’t look convinced. Sure, it was tempting to join them. She wanted to do it each time Sean or Felix bombarded her with messages and codes to the lobby, both inviting her to join the group in the game. But then she remembered how people reacted to her appearance in their streams... and suddenly it didn’t seem like such a good idea anymore.
“We’re gonna play on Polus...” he added after a moment when she still didn’t say anything. “That one map with the planetary base... there’s a lava pit, y’know. Just saying...”
She laughed wholeheartedly at his words, remembering their last game when Corpse jumped into the lava for her. 
“Sykkuno’s gonna be there as well” Corpse continued. “And I promise I won’t kill you this time.”
“Even if I’m the last player alive?” she joked.
“Even then, Y/N.”
Corpse stifled a laugh, as she cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes slightly as if trying to spot him in the darkness. 
“Are you streaming, Corpse?” she then asked.
“Not yet. I’m gonna start the stream as soon as you say yes, though.”
“Oh c’mon” she laughed at his words “That’s emotional blackmail!” 
“Maybe. Is it working?” he asked.
Y/N let out a heavy breath and ran a hand down her face. Corpse watched in anticipation as she seemed to have some internal battle with herself. He hoped that she’s gonna agree, he really missed playing with her. 
“All right, then.” she suddenly said, and his breath hitched in his throat. “I’m gonna stay for a few rounds I guess...”
“Wait, really?” he asked, a smile on his face only widening. 
“Well, yeah, partner.” she replied, which made his cheeks go warm “Your imposter techniques haven’t been very effective lately... Someone needs to help you out, or you’re gonna lose your title of the king of the Imposters.” 
“Oh, is that’s how it is now?” he laughed in fake shock. “I wouldn’t have to worry about losing the title if my accomplice hadn’t left me all alone!” 
“All right, all right.” she giggled at his accusations. “Your accomplice is on her way to support you.” 
Corpse smiled even wider at the sound of her laughter. Her eyes shined with happiness when she was giggling, which only brought out their E/C color. The fact that his stupid babbling was the reason for her smile was making him feel extremely proud of himself.  
“But just so you know... I still have no idea how this map works, so I’m afraid I’m gonna need you to guide me around it...”
“Y’know you could as well just say you want to hang out with me...”
“Corpse!” she laughed, her cheeks blushing in embarrassment. 
“Just kidding Y/N” he chuckled at her reaction. “Of course I’m gonna guide you, don’t worry.”
“Okay then...” she said after a moment, looking at the screen again. “I’ll be there in a few minutes. Will you send me the code, please?”
“Sure I will, Y/N” 
“Okay. See you later, partner” she smiled brightly. 
“See you, partner.” 
When Y/N ended the call, Corpse let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He sighed in relief and ran a hand through his hair, before moving to sit behind his desk.
It was only after he started the stream that he realized he was blushing. Not only because Y/N would join them, but because there was also another thing he wanted to ask her about, but didn’t find the courage to yet... 
***
By the time Y/N turned on her computer and started the game, Corpse has already sent her the code, and there was a Discord invite waiting for her as well. She bit her lip nervously as her heartbeat quickened. 
Was she nervous? As hell. 
She did everything she could to avoid being in unnecessary spotlight since she started receiving those hate messages. Perhaps escaping the problem wasn’t the best solution, but it definitely was a comfortable one. People wouldn’t have a reason to hate on her if she disappeared. 
But then she couldn’t say no to Corpse. And truth to be said - she really missed playing with her friends. From what she’d seen on Twitter, the lobby would be filled with those she’d already played with, so she wasn’t that nervous before the game. What she was nervous about though, was how people would react.
Accepting Corpse’s request was something she did due to the sudden rush of courage. And now there was no coming back.
She knew Corpse would understand if she changed her mind... but she heard how excited he was when she had agreed. She couldn’t do it to him. 
So, once she’d taken a deep breath and put her headphones on, Y/N accepted the invite and braced herself for the inevitable chaos that was bound to take place in the call. She decided to wait with joining the lobby though - at least until they realize she’s with them. 
“..the fuck you’re talking about?!” Felix’s voice was the first thing she heard, which made her roll her eyes with a smile. “It’s not my fault I sound like that! At least I don’t have a liar voice like Rae!” 
“HEY!” the girl yelled “I don’t have a liar voice!”
“You do, you’re using it even now!” Jack argued, much to Rae’s dismay. 
“What is going on here” Corpse’s deep voice sounded out suddenly. 
“Oh, you’re here! Finally” Sykkuno immediately welcomed him with his always happy voice. 
“Yeah, sorry that I’m late guys.”
“No worries, man” Pewdiepie spoke up again. “We were just talking about playing the voice card and that you’re basically the only one who can do it.” 
“Not fair at all!” Rae chimed in, making Corpse chuckle. 
“The voice card...” he hummed after a moment, before adding. “I wouldn’t really say I’m the only one though...”
“Well who else then? Everyone else either starts laughing or have a liar voice” Dave asked, and Rae scoffed at the last words.
“Well what about my guest?”
Y/N inhaled sharply, realizing that now she should probably reveal herself. 
“Oh, right! Who you’re bringing man?” Sean asked with curiosity.
That’s when Y/N typed in the game code, and her white astronaut appeared in the lobby. 
“Wait, who’s- HOLY SHIT” Sean all but yelled, when realization hit him. Y/N laughed loudly at his reaction, and her voice only seemed to prove to everyone that she really was there. 
“KIDDO WHAT THE FUCK” Felix reflected Jack’s response, yelling over his friend.
“Oh my god, hi!”
“What a surprise!” Y/N managed to catch Sykkuno’s words. “It’s so amazing to have you here, Y/N/N!” 
“As I live and breathe.” another voice spoke up, and Toast’s little astronaut came face to face with her white bean. “My lifelong nemesis. Back here snap my neck again, huh?”
“Yeah, happy to hear you too, Toast” Y/N giggled at his words, then she adressed the whole group. “Hi guys.”
“Okay I did not expect that in the slightest” Sean laughed happily “You’re here kiddo!” 
“I am” she smiled from ear to ear, even though they couldn’t see her. 
“Wait- Corpse, is that the thing you had to take care of?” her best friend asked Corpse with suspicious voice. 
“Well...” he trailed off and cleared his throat, making everyone laugh.
“That’s so great Y/N! We missed you so much!” Rae thundered over the bickering of the boys. “The game hasn’t been the same without you...”
“Agreed. I suddenly stopped dying.” Toast commented, making her roll her eyes with a laugh. 
“I don’t know if I should be happy or fucking scared right now.” Felix laughed nervously. “With Corpse and Y/N? We’re fucked now, guys.”
“I promise I’ll go easy on you, I haven’t played in so long I think I forgot all my strategies...” 
“Yeah, sure.” Toast’s forever suspicious voice made her smile wider. “Just don’t kill me in the first roung, okay? I won’t vote you off just stay the fuck away from me you little murderer.” 
“Okay, I promise I won’t kill you...” 
She couldn’t stop herself from laughing, and the smile remained on her face even when they started the game. It only seemed to widen, when she saw the sign Imposter on her screen. 
Only to giggle hysterically when she realized that Toast was the other imposter...
And so the game went on with Y/N and Toast cooperating like perfect serial killers. Corpse did as he promised and guided her through the map, both of them being closely followed by Sykkuno. Because of that she’d just sabotage the map most of the time to give Toast opportunities to kill their friends, but eventually managed to sneak out when her two fellow crewmates were doing their tasks. It just so happen that Pewds was walking past her, and she might’ve accidentally snapped his neck... 
“Goddamnit! I knew it! I fucking knew it was you!” Sean yelled once the game was over and Y/N saw the sign VICTORY on her screen, her small character standing next to Toast’s one. He was ejected at some point because Poki managed to walk in on him killing Rae, but Y/N remained undetected until the very end. Perhaps the fact that Corpse was one of the two crewmates who were left alive had something to do wtih it...
“That was rude” Pewds said in a whiny voice, clearly referring to their encounter which led to his death. “I was just happily walking around, doing my tasks like a good crewmate, and then boom! Y/N happened” 
“I would say I’m sorry... but I’m really not” she laughed, making Felix gasp in shock.
“That’s what happens when you work with Toast!” 
“Good game, Y/N. That was amazing” the man in question said appreciatively. 
“Will you finally forgive me for killing you that one time if I say that being imposters with you was cool?” she laughed nervously. 
“Actually... Yeah, I guess we can bury the hatchet now. AND we should team up more in the future.”
“Great!” 
“Excuse me, what?” Corpse’s voice made the whole lobby laugh. “I don’t remember us cancelling our partnership, Y/N.”
“Corpse...” 
“Are you trying to steal my accomplice from me Toast?” 
“Well she’s a great partner in crime after all...” Toast deliberately used the phrase, making Corpse gasp.
“Hey! She’s my partner! Find yourself your own, Toast” Corpse joked, making Y/N laugh bashfully, her cheeks warming up at his words. 
“Yeah yeah, I remember, don’t worry man. No one’s gonna take your partner in crime away from you...” Toast’s teasing voice made them all laugh, Corpse and Y/N included. 
For the next few rounds Y/N played as a crewmate, running around the map with either Corpse or Sykkuno and doing her tasks. During meetings they joked and laughed, and for a moment, she stopped thinking about what people watching her friend’s streams might think about her presence. After all, there was at least a small chance that they didn’t think about it at all, and simply enjoyed watching their favoirte youtubers. Just as she enjoyed playing with her friends. 
Oh, and by the way, Corpse kept his promise and didn’t kill her even when she was the last player alive...
It was soon time when everyone started slowly leaving the lobby, having played for over three hours. Y/N also said her goodbyes to the others and promised that she’d join them to play a game called Raft next week. 
When she turned her computer off and threw herself on her bed, Y/N immediately grabbed her phone to call Corpse. He answered right away. 
“Well hello, partner...” she rolled her eyes with a smile when he accented the last word. “Or should I say, traitor, instead?” 
“Corpse... you know I would never betray you...” 
“Well how can I be so sure, now that I know how cool it is to be imposters with Toast?” she knew he was joking, she could almost hear the smile in his voice.
“Not nearly as cool as it is with you, Corpse” Y/N grinned from ear to ear when Corpse scoffed. 
“I spare your life so many times and that’s what I get in return? You cheat on me with Toast?” he said in disbelief “I’m disappointed, Y/N, I really am.”
“I would never!” she laughed through her words, even though her cheeks were now red because of Corpse’s words. “You’re the best partner in crime, Corpse, I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else!” 
Not only in the game, she thought.
“Hmm, alright. Let’s say I believe you.” he said after a moment of thinking. 
“I mean it, Corpse...” Y/N said after calming down from her laughter. “I... I really wanted to thank you.”
“Thank me? For what?” he asked, genuinely surprised. 
“Well, first of all for inviting me to today’s game... I really had lots of fun, it was great to play and talk with the others. And I wouldn’t be in the lobby if not for you...” Y/N mumbled, before verbalizing her previous thoughts. “And I also wanted to thank you for just... you know... being my friend. My real life partner in crime. I just wanted you to know I’m really glad I met you...” 
Corpse was silent for a good few moments, and Y/N started panicking that maybe she said something wrong, or maybe he found her spontaneous confession funny, or worse, dumb. She was almost ready to somehow laugh it all off, when his voice cut her off.
“Thank you, Y/N. It really means a lot to me too.” he sounded like he had some troubles with speaking, which made Y/N furrow her brows in worry.
“Is everything okay, Corpse?” 
“Yeah, I...” he stuttered, then laughed nervously. “I just didn’t expect that and... yeah. It’s not something I hear on a daily basis, especially from someone like you.”
Someone like me? 
 “But what you said... it’s mutual.” he said after a moment, and Y/N couldn’t stop herself from grinning like an idiot. “You’re the best partner in crime I could ask for. And not only in the game.” 
She could as well just pass out there and there...
“So uhm... there was one thing I wanted to ask you...”
“Yeah?”
“I was wondering if maybe... you know, if you’d have some time... and if you’d want to of course... would you maybe like to visit me here in San Diego?”
Yeah, passing out seems like a good idea. 
***
This is not the last part. 
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getouswh0re · 3 years ago
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Howdy!! Could I request Yandere Gojo and Geto from jjk, with a special-grade sorcerer reader? Ty in advance, I really like your writing!✹
an; thank you for the love ˊᗜˋ💕 here are some drabbles for them separately, hope you liked it :3
warnings; yandere, gore, blood, unhealthy relationships, obsessive behaviour. do not condone such actions in real life, and please kindly read at your own discretion.
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THE night was quiet, almost serene, totally at odds with the glowering menace in Geto’s eyes. Gone was the subtle gentleness in those inky slits you had grown to adore; in its place, inscrutable darkness bore holes into the back of your skull as you shuddered beneath the curse user’s glare.
It was still Geto in the flesh: the same face, unique hairstyle and robes he’d wear just like any other day. Yet it was no longer the special-grade sorcerer whom you once knew and loved. You never knew what caused such a drastic change in him; all you wished for, was for the old Geto to return, hoping that all of this was none other than another nightmare.
“Suguru? W-What are you doing at my door? It’s already late, you should be taking some rest ...” A hint of dismay — maybe sadness, ghosted his expression when the raven picked up the quivers in your tone. Nonetheless, a gentle smile adorns his face, emerging from the shadows to reveal himself as the raven explained himself.
“Why? Can’t I come and visit you?” He cocked his head, a playful smirk evident. Geto never ceased to make your heart flutter; perhaps it was his flirtatious nature and mellow personality that drew you towards him, but even after being one of his closest friends for a long time, at times you felt like you couldn’t understand him at all, with this being one of the occurrences.
You chortled, about to invite the raven into your apartment when warning bells started to ring incessantly in your head, warning you that there was something awry about him once you caught a glimpse at his clothes imbrued with crimson splatters.
“Sugu ... what is that on your clothes?”
“Oh this? Satoru splashed me with red paint, it’s not much of a big deal.” You knew he was lying, instantly picking up the revolting metallic stench from the stains. Dread filled your mind while you staggered back, keeping a distance from the male who gave you a perplexed look in return.
“You and I know a smell like this isn’t red paint ...” Trying to be as calm as you could, you retracted a step backwards with every stride Geto took. “Be honest with me. What on earth have you done?”
“Sharp as ever, y/n.” A condescending look took over as Geto finally revealed his true colours. “The world needs to change. All these monkeys are the reasons why curses exist. They can’t even control their cursed energy properly, and we sorcerers have to battle with death every time a curse poses as a threat to them. Their ignorance is revolting in its core, and I believe to make the world a better place, it would be better off to remove all of them out of sight. Don’t you agree —“
“What the fuck are you thinking?” Unable to withhold your seething rage, you snapped at the curse user. “This isn’t what sorcerers should do! What you are doing is of no difference from a brutal murderer Geto! I can’t fucking believe you!”
“How can you think of me like they y/n? That hurts my heart you know.”
Before you could even scream, he was already inches away, blood-stained hands caressing your cheeks tenderly as if you were made of fragile glass. “I just want to make life easier, there’s no need for us to put our lives at stake every time we exorcise curses. Right? We could be enjoying peaceful days together, free from the dangers of this world ...”
“Stop! Your delusions are sick, this isn’t you at all Geto! I don’t know what is wrong with your brain, but it’s never too late to turn back —“
Suddenly, your vision darkened — your consciousness sinking into a bottomless void as the raven carried you in a bridal style, the two of you vanishing into the tenebrosity of the night.
“And I thought you were the only one who’d understand me ... love.” He shook his head in disapproval, but the disappointment in his eyes were eventually replaced with glee as Geto stared at your limp figurine in his arms.
“But don’t worry, what needs to be done will be done. For our sake, for our future together.”
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EVERYTHING would always be uglier up close.
At first glance, one might find Gojo Satoru a perfect man: with talent, looks and wealth all in one package. Men envy the greatest sorcerer of all time, and women grovel at his feet, desperate for a sprinkle of the man’s attention. Despite living the life everyone dreams to be in, the heir of the Gojo clan couldn’t care less about how the world spins around his axis. For the sorcerer has his eyes set on something much more worthy of his time and effort. 
He is a man of determination, willing to achieve his goals with whatever means possible — even resorting to dirtying his own hands. It is such an irony that underneath the charming façade, such a disgusting soul exists.
“For the last time Satoru, I am not interested in dating anybody.” Heaving an exasperated sigh, you politely shoved the lavish presents piling up at your front door back into the man’s arms. 
“I feel really flattered that you have feelings for me, I truly do. But I’m sure you know as sorcerers, we fight with death every day. If there is any regret that I’d dread to have ... it would be to leave everything I love behind. And I would rather die alone than leave my partner suffering on their own.” 
“That’s what I love about you y/n.” 
A loving sigh slipping from his tongue, Gojo took a step forward, cupping your face with utter delicacy. Yet you felt more than revolted by his sudden intimacy, struggling to writhe away from his tightening grip.
“You are always so kind, so considerate ... something I cannot find in anyone else other than you. But think about it sweetheart! You and I are both special-grade sorcerers, but I can protect you from the curses — at the same time giving you the moon and stars. We could move in together, you wouldn’t even need to work anymore. Why make your life harder when I could simply provide for you? Seriously —” 
“S-Satoru, I hate to tell you this but you’re pushing the boundaries right now.” Trying to reason with the sorcerer, you spoke with a harsher tone, praying that Gojo would get the hint and respect your choices. “You’re out of your mind! And why would you force 
Nonetheless, your words fell on deaf ears. 
“Now this is not how you should react when someone offers you their heart and soul.” The light in his cerulean eyes darkened, cyan hues glimmering beneath the penumbra of nightfall. “And I know you are a smart young woman, so you’d come to realise what is in your best interest. I really don’t want to do this to you y/n; but if you are trying to push me away from your life again, I would have to keep you to my side — the hard way.” 
With that, he pulled down his blindfold.
You were aware of how dangerous Infinite Void was; still, experiencing it first-hand was one hell of a terrifying experience. Fleeting images flashed across your vision as if all of this was in fastforward motion, depicting your fate in the past along with future. As certain blurred vestiges showed up, your heart sank in indescribable despair; moments of you and none other than Gojo were portrayed — blood splattered across the labyrinth of streets in Tokyo, your trembling hands intertwined with his, platinum bands wrapped around both of your ring fingers, adorable kids that were exact replicas of both of you. At this point, you could feel the will to fight back dwindling to fickle embers. 
No matter what you did, Gojo would always find his way back to you.
Even if he had to tear the world apart with his hands. 
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gladerwolfstarkimagines · 3 years ago
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Request: Imagine being Lin Beifong’s daughter and having a crush on Iroh II
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Tags: @tincdraws
Growing up as the daughter of Lin Beifong metal and earth bending were your whole life. You learnt to earth bend by the time you could walk and your mother had you in training from a young age so you graduated from the earth bending school at the top of your class with your eyes firmly set on following in your mother’s footsteps whilst also trying to emulate your grandmother’s success. You had a sharp focus and nothing else really caught your attention. You had friends but training came first and dating seemed something superficial you could live without. Republic city was your life and you would never dream of leaving it but your mother had other ideas.
Your mother thought you needed more worldly experience before you joined the police force so she sent you to the fire nation to gain some training as an officer. She claimed the fire nation had some of the best officers in the world and that they would help you learn invaluable real-life experience. You did not agree and protested the whole thing. All your training had revolved around the needs of Republic City specifically and you couldn’t see how you’d learn anything new about how to protect your city by travelling all the way to fire nation but your mother refused to change her mind and that was that.
So you were shipped off to the fire nation fresh out of the academy. Your mother had spoken to Firelord Izumi and it was agreed you’d be staying at the palace so not only would you be unfamiliar with the environment, you’d be in a place where every small look, word or action had large consequences. You didn’t know much about the fire nation and couldn’t really recall the royal family. You were aware your grandmother was very close with the late Firelord Zuko but since then things had changed. Although your grandmother’s friends (mainly Katara) had tried to keep the group close it was hard with everyone scattered across the four nations and so with each generation the group had drifted further and further apart. You knew Firelord Izumi had a daughter older than you and a son around your age called Iroh. You recalled meeting Iroh when you were younger at some event in the south pole but couldn’t remember much more than a serious fire nation child. So you arrived on the steps of the palace utterly out of your depth determined to see these three months through so you could return to your beloved city. You were shown into the palace immediately, your belongings taken by maids who refused to let you carry them yourself as you were a royal guest. You weren’t used to finery so proceeded through the palace partly in awe and partly in utter confusion why someone needed this many paintings of old men everywhere. You were finally shown into a large room. “Ah you must be y/n Beifong” a voice called and you turned to see someone who looked vaguely familiar. You knew he wasn’t Firelord Zuko or Firelord Izumi’s husband as he was too young so figured by his royal outfit this was Izumi’s second child the prince. “Prince Iroh, it’s an honour to see you again” you said bowing and he chuckled “I bet you thought that would be a winning line with any fire nation citizen didn’t you? Because we’re still all obsessed with honour like we were centuries ago?” Iroh asked and you hesitated. “If I caused any offence...” you started but Iroh cut you off breaking out in a large smile “no I was only kidding, it is a winning line we are still obsessed with honour”. You watched as Iroh laughed at his own joke surprised, you didn’t expect the prince of the fire nation to be like this. You figured royalty lacked the ability or the clearance to have a sense of humour but apparently not. “So have I really not changed since we were eight?” Iroh asked and when you frowned he elaborated “you recognised me but the last time we met was just over ten years ago”. You paused “ow no I didn’t actually recognise you, you were young, dressed in fine clothes with royal hairpins, not to mention you’re in the palace...you had to be the prince”. “Good deductions officer” Iroh said saluting you before he grinned “i’m in training too”. That piqued your interest “really? for the fire nation army?”. He nodded “yep! I’m an officer but my hope is to be general one day and to fully earn it, rather than just get it because of who my family is...hopefully in a few years i’ll get there”. “I’m sure you will” you agreed and Iroh led you into a large dining room. “Are we dining alone?” you asked confused and Iroh smirked. “Why? Not pleased with me?” he asked and you rushed to assure him that wasn’t the case when he laughed again “I’m joking again y/n, I know my grandfather told you the whole family would be dining with you in his letter to your mother but he, my parents and sister were all called away to an urgent matter and asked me to fill in as we’re similar ages”. “Ow” you nodded “that makes sense...is everything okay?”. Iroh nodded “everything’s fine just boring fire nation stuff...so shall we?” he asked holding out his arm to you. You weren’t sure if this was appropriate so averted your eyes and only took his arm lightly. Iroh smirked at your caution and led you into the room.
The meal with Iroh was nice. He was friendly, hard-working and interesting. You soon got used to his humour and learnt not to take him too seriously. You hadn’t met many other people your age who shared your passion for a military career and found it was nice, a sentiment Iroh apparently shared. He enquired what you were doing the rest of the week and when you replied nothing as training didn’t start for another week he soon had several of your days planned out with fire nation sights to show you. Iroh seemed to understand you didn’t know much about the fire nation so planned to take you to all the important sites as well as areas relevant to the army to peak both your interests. You enjoyed the prince’s tours greatly and even when training did start you continued meeting with Iroh regularly. You liked his company and were surprised that didn’t fade the more time you spent with him, if anything it grew more and more. You thought he’d be a spoilt entitled prince but he was kind and considerate pleasantly surprising you.
You didn’t become aware that you liked Iroh as anything more until one of your friends at the academy pointed it out. Since starting training you were progressing well, you achieved high grades and were held in high esteem by your fellow recruits. You had made some friends and often trained with them after the academy retired for the day. After a long training session you were heading to the palace when one of your friends called out to you “hey y/n some of us were going into town to celebrate our class’s good progress, do you want to come?”. You smiled pleased they wanted you to come when you remembered you couldn’t go “I’d love to Shani but sorry I can’t I have plans”. “Of course you do” she smirked as your other friend Aizori grinned “is it with Iroh by any chance”. “Actually it is” you said frowning at their shared look “why?”. “Ow nothing just it’s not every day your friend is dating the crowned prince”. “Me and Iroh are not dating!” you cried “our families are old friends that’s all”. “Uh...hu, if that’s true then what are your plans together may we ask?”. “We’re attending a party at the palace”. “Together?” Shani asked and you blushed “yes but he only asked me because it’s a formal event that’s apparently really boring so he wanted a friend there, trust me we’re not dating”. “But how can you resist?” Aizori asked “I’ve only seen the prince a handful of times but he seems to get better looking every single time! How don’t you get lost in those golden eyes and that chiselled jaw? The royal family has some amazing genes not even a Beifong can resist”. You paused considering it. For you looks weren’t very important so you didn’t tend to notice them. You held work ethic and determination as much higher priorities and Iroh scored very highly in both but in looks...you honestly couldn’t say. “I’m not sure I’ve noticed” you admitted and the girls rolled their eyes not believing you.
When you arrived back at the palace your friend’s words were ringing in your head and when you next saw Iroh something felt different. You took note of his looks and were surprised by what you’d found. Iroh was attractive, very attractive, how had you missed that? You stared at Iroh wondering if his eyes had always been that bright? Was his jaw always that sharp? His hair that good regularly when he frowned “why are you staring at me?”. “Nothing” you cried and he paused before shrugging “Are you ready to go?” he asked “the party has already started” offering you his arm. You nodded and took it cautiously following Iroh into the ballroom.
You could see why Iroh had wanted to invite you, everyone in the room was at least 60 years old or some stiff nobel person from an ancient line of fire nation families. All they seemed to want to discuss was old family bloodlines, territories or ancient traditions. After your fifth boring ambush by some old fire nation man Iroh pointedly headed for the gardens. You frowned as he exited discreetly, closing the door behind him, and headed away from the hall. “Iroh I’m pretty sure the party is inside” you commented and Iroh grinned “I know but I can’t take another second in there so humour me? One lap of the gardens then we’ll head back, please? I know you haven’t seen them properly yet so how about a tour?” Iroh holding out his hand to you. You rolled your eyes but took his hand happily. 
Iroh led you around the gardens explaining the different flora to you and their history. “I spent so many parties hiding in here as a kid” he grinned “this place is so huge they couldn’t find me for hours”. You smiled at the thought “my mother would’ve killed me if I did that”. “Mine did” Iroh chuckled “but I’d honestly rather face her wrath than some boring commander who wants to lecture me about our family’s history and why it’s so important...they’re literally my own family and even I don’t care” Iroh cried making you smile. “I see why you escaped out here so often, I’m very grateful formal parties were not a part of my childhood”. Iroh smiled and went to comment when the smile was wiped from his face and he grabbed you, quickly pushing you behind a large fern. “Iroh what are you...”. “Shhh they’ve come for us” he hissed and you frowned when you heard a voice. “Prince Iroh?” a man you recognised as the palace coordinator called “Are you out here? You’re needed inside”. You smirked and Iroh rolled his eyes “they’re relentless”.  “Master Iroh if you’re out there please return to the ballroom, your mother’s orders”. There was silence and then the sound of the butler coming closer. Your eyes widened and Iroh put a hand over your mouth pushing you further into the bushes. “Prince Iroh?” a voice called literally right beside you and Iroh smirked as you grabbed his arm in surprise. You heard a sigh and the sound of the man retreating. When the footsteps died away Iroh dropped his hold on you and you both burst into laughter. “I thought we were going to be caught and then royally punished...literally” you added and Iroh smirked “I wouldn’t let them punish you, it’s not your fault I dragged you out here”. “True but I didn’t try hard to stop you”. “You did encourage me” Iroh nodded thinking “okay it’s all your fault”. You gaped laughing “I never said that! You are such a liar” you cried pushing him and Iroh laughed grabbing your arm “okay okay maybe we share the blame 50:50?”. “No way” you smiled and Iroh paused “60:40?”. “I think 90:10?” you said grinning and Iroh sighed “fine, i’ll take 10% of the blame”. You shook your head at how wonderfully infuriating he was and smiled at him fondly. Iroh grinned back and you realised suddenly how close his face was to yours. Iroh seemed to notice too, he glanced down at your lips and you panicked moving away from him suddenly. There was an awkward tension in the air and you broke it with a cough “so want to show me more of the gardens then?”. Iroh nodded “right this way my lady” the awkwardness gone and led you further into the garden.
When you were safely hidden from the ballroom Iroh stopped walking, explaining this was one of his favourite spots in the whole garden and you gratefully took a break sitting down. “I can’t believe you’ve already been here a month” Iroh commented and you nodded “I know only 2 more to go then my mandatory 3 months work experience is done”. Iroh frowned “mandatory...so you could stay longer if you wanted to?”. “Hypothetically” you agreed and Iroh hesitated “do you think you’d extend it? Hypothetically?”. You paused “I’m not sure, I have enjoyed the fire nation far more than I thought I would but I’ve always wanted to complete my training as quickly as possible, I hope to be chief of police one day and I’ll need many years of service for that...”. Iroh frowned “isn’t the youngest chief like 41?”. You nodded “yeah so i’ve got time I guess, maybe i’ll stay for longer...is this just so you have someone to skirt your royal duties with?”. Iroh laughed “maybe...I like you being here, it’s nice not being the only person under 30 in every room”. You smiled “well i’m glad my presence isn’t displeasing to you...you’ve been pleasant as well” you added blushing and Iroh grinned. “Wait did I make a Beifong blush? That’s like a legendary occurrence, this is amazing!”. “Stop it” you cried but Iroh wouldn’t let you turn away “no, this will go down in history, Beifong blushes are rarer than dragons so I’m soaking up every second”. For the second time that day Iroh stared at you closely and you blushed more under his gaze but this time you didn’t move away. Iroh continued gazing at you before he lightly moved his hand to your cheek “y/n...” he said softly leaning in closer when a figure appeared. “There you are!” a voice cried and you both jumped away from one another. Your jaw dropped when you realised who it was and you dropped into a bow “Firelord Izumi...i’m so sorry I didn’t see you approach”. “Rise child you did nothing wrong” she said warmly “my son on the other hand...” she trailed off glancing at Iroh who paled. “Hey mom” he frowned and she raised an eyebrow “really? That’s all you have to say? No apology or grovelling”. “Erm I’m sorry for ditching?” Iroh offered and Izumi sighed. “Y/n would you please excuse us, I want to have a word with my son”. “Of course” you agreed bowing and you rushed away.
Iroh returned not long after with his mother and told you he had to stay in the ballroom for the rest of the party. You agreed to stay with him and he smiled gratefully at you making you blush and look away rapidly. The night passed and neither you nor Iroh spoke about what happened in the garden. How he’d almost kissed you and how you were going to let him. You couldn’t believe your own recklessness. What good did you think would come out of kissing the prince of the fire nation? You were obviously not an appropriate match and so there was nothing to be encouraged there. You resolved to never find yourself in that situation again and decided to just stay as friends no matter how much you got along or how attractive he was. Getting involved with a fire nation prince was not responsible behaviour. So after that night you made sure to put distance between you and Iroh. You didn’t stop seeing him you just made sure to emphasise it was a friendship. You didn’t let yourself get caught up in him the way you had in the gardens and always kept a level head. Iroh never tried anything or mentioned that night either and you supposed he picked up on your not so subtle hints. You carried on as before but there was definitely an unmentioned barrier between you which you never let fade.
You left the fire nation 2 months later. You didn’t extend your stay as with your feelings for Iroh you didn’t think it would be wise. Iroh saw you off and hugged you tightly before you got onto the airship. “It’s been nice having you around Beifong, I’ll miss you”. Iroh’s words made you hesitate and you hugged him tighter. For that time in Iroh’s arms you imagined what would have happened if you’d kissed him in the gardens that night. Iroh didn’t strike you as someone who flitted from person to person taking what he wanted, you think if he wanted to kiss you he must have felt something for you too and perhaps would have suggested dating. You imagined all the things you’d have done together but as a couple and wondered if you’d made a mistake, maybe you should have just gone for it? But then reality set in. If you really wanted to be chief of police then you couldn’t have short relationships with high ranking members of the fire nation. Other candidates could use it to show you had compromised morals and there was no way it would be a long term relationship due to your lack of fire nation heritage. Sure the fire nation was pretty progressive but that didn’t really apply to royalty. They had thousand-year-old traditions to uphold that couldn’t be broken easily so Iroh was never a long term option for you. Therefore all logical signs said you’d done the correct thing not persuing something with him...so why did it feel so shit? You finally pulled away from Iroh and he noticed your expression. “What’s wrong?” he asked and you shook your head looking away “nothing i’ll just miss it here...promise you’ll keep in touch?”. “Cross my heart” Iroh smiled “you’re not someone I intend to let slip away, expect a visit every time I come to republic city”. You pushed away the rational voice in your mind telling you to keep a distance from him and smiled “you’ll always be welcome and I’m very much looking forward to it”. Iroh blushed “thank you y/n” and you nodded back, just looking at him in admiration before catching yourself. “I should go...” and Iroh nodded “safe travels” and with a final look you walked away.
2 years later
After your departure you and Iroh stayed in regular contact and your letters only halted when he was deployed by the military but the second we was out he would write and arrange to come visit you in Republic City. You still thought about him and your feelings for him regularly and every time you saw him you knew your crush hadn’t lessened. You loved Iroh’s visits and soon they became the thing you cherished most. You told yourself all of this was fine because you’d never act on your feelings but sometimes you wondered if Iroh felt something too? You’d catch him staring at you or he’d blush if you smiled at him in a certain way. The very idea of Iroh liking you made you very excited but you also knew it would only lead to heartache. He wouldn’t be allowed to settle down with someone outside the fire nation so it didn’t matter if he liked you too. So you settled for his friendship which was more than enough for you. When Iroh was posted in republic city when he became general you were thrilled and you only continued to grow closer.
However republic city wasn’t as peaceful. There had been multiple attacks on the city from Amon’s chi blockers to Vaatu’s take over and you and Iroh were constantly pushed into the fray. Multiple times you’d faced staggering odds and every single time you wondered if you should confess your feelings to Iroh in case the unthinkable happened but every time you chickened out. You and Iroh had been safe every time but there was only so much you could push your luck.  
You’d been wary of Kuvira’s take over of the earth kingdom from the very start. Your aunt Su Yin had told you all about her so you weren’t surprised when she set her sights on Republic City but that didn’t mean you weren’t terrified. The avatar and her friends informed you what you were facing and you weren’t sure how you could even think about facing a giant mecha suit with spirit cannons. Iroh shared your sentiment but as general of Republic City’s army he was forced by President Raiko to lead his troops out there. Watching Iroh take to the front line you were swept with the desire once again to be honest with him, to tell him how you felt before it was too late. You decided three was too many times to chance it and so decided to finally tell him how you felt. You made your way to the general’s tent and found Iroh with Korra discussing strategies. You greeted them both warmly before making your way to Iroh’s side “could we please talk? I have something to tell you”. You knew Iroh had a hundred things to do but he nodded warmly squeezing your hand “of course just give me one second to...” when the radio sprang into action. President Raiko had surendering to Kuvira’s demands. Republic City was hers.
The avatar was furious and you matched her sentiment. You and Iroh joined her as she met with other leaders in the city like Tenzin and your mother and they all agreed something had to be done to stop Kuvira. A plan was quickly assembled, it was agreed that airbenders would attack the suit from the sky and earth benders would attack from the ground. You didn’t actually expect to damage the suit, you only had to distract Kuvira long enough for Korra to get inside. You were agreeing fervently getting ready to leave with your cousins when Iroh grabbed your arm. “Wait Y/n are you sure you want to do this?” he asked nervously “that mecha suit is dangerous there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to stop it”. I know but it’s my home, I swore to protect it and I won’t break my oath. I have to try and help”. Iroh sighed thinking and you watched him wondering what he’d say. “I understand why you’re doing it and I want to come too”. You paused pleasantly surprised “You do...but I thought President Raiko told you to retreat and surrender?”. “He told me to surrender the army not that I couldn’t personally engage in fighting, i’m not fighting as a general but as plain old Iroh” he announced proudly and you smiled “there’s nothing plain about you even without your titles”. Iroh beamed at you “Does this mean you agree? We can fight this giant together!”. You nodded your head “okay let’s go meet up with the others”.
You and Iroh rushed after the others and found them all suiting up. “Finally” your mother said spotting you but she frowned when she saw Iroh with you “y/n tell me you didn’t bring the general who is also the prince of the fire nation into this”. “She didn’t, I volunteered” Iroh spoke up “I’m not here as a general or as a prince but as a civilian so, where can I help?”. “You know your mother won’t like this” Tenzin commented and Iroh nodded “I know but some things are worth facing her wrath for” he said shooting you a smile and you blushed.
So it was agreed Iroh would stay. Your mother thought it would be best to place him on the roof with the airbenders, she ordered him to shoot lightning at the joints to try and cause some malfunctioning. When you’d all suited up the teams said their goodbyes and Iroh appeared in front of you. You didn’t have long, Kuvira’s giant suit was already in view and the ground shook whenever it took a single step. Iroh stared at you and sighed heavily “Y/n...”. “Don’t say it like that, we don’t have time and we’re both going to be fine okay?” you said faking a smile but Iroh saw right through it. “What did you want to tell me earlier?”. You froze caught off guard and blushed “I...I just wanted to...it doesn’t matter”. The ground jumped and Iroh looked at it nervously before stepping closer to you “I think I can guess what you were going to say”. “You can?” you asked nervously and Iroh smiled “yeah...you had another Beifong blush moment and I’ve noticed you do them around me a lot”. You went bright red and Iroh chuckled “yeah like that...”. You looked down embarrassed but Iroh took your hand gently “don’t, I blush a lot around you too”. You smiled blushing more and Iroh chuckled softly. “Y/n are you ready?” your mom asked and Iroh gripped your hand tightly. “Wait I want to tell you everything before you leave” Iroh cried but you squeezed his hand gently. “It’ll be okay” you smiled “you can tell me everything later and I think I can guess too”. Iroh grinned blushing “later then...just got to get through this”. “We’ll be fine, this is what he trained for” you smiled confidently “I promise I’ll see you on the other side”. Iroh nodded and stared at your lips, he went to move in when your mother called “y/n are you coming or are we leaving you behind”. “I’m coming!” you yelled and stepped away from Iroh “mothers” you commented and he smiled “go, i’ll see you after” and with a last look you both rushed off to your assigned group.
The battle
The fight went about as good as could be expected. The suit swatted the air benders away like flies and your group’s earth, metal and even lava bending barely slowed it down. But it didn’t matter, all that mattered was the avatar and her team managed to find a way into that thing and your team cheered when you saw she’d done just that. Now the fight was Korra’s so you let your guard down when suddenly the machine began malfunctioning. Your mother yelled for you all to take cover but you were too far away from the building. The suit exploded with a blast and you saw a blinding light and then black.
After the suit exploded everyone assumed the battle won. Half the air benders went after Korra to help her with Kuvira and the other half went to the ground to make sure the others were okay, of course Iroh went with the latter. He saw Bolin, your aunt and cousins but no sign of you or your mother. They told him they were all searching for you and he rushed to join in. With each street he passed his heart began to sink when finally he spotted you! In the arms of your mother unconscious. Iroh ran forward dropping to his knees beside you. “What happened?” he cried and your mother clutched you desperately “that thing exploded and she was too far to get into cover, it hit her sending her flying through the street and now she’s...she’s...”. Iroh saw the blood seeping through your mother’s hands where she held them against you. “No” he said viciously “y/n won’t...she can’t! We need a medic” he yelled loudly before taking off his jacket to wrap around your wound. “Maybe I can cauterise the wound?” he asked “seal it to stop her losing so much blood?”. Lin paused “I think the wounds too big but it’s worth a shot”. Iroh nodded and Lin lifted the bottom of your uniform. Iroh saw a large gash across your stomach and winced. He lit his hand on fire and pressed his hands against the wound. You gasped suddenly and your eyes shot open. “Y/n” your mother and Iroh cried in unison and you blinked trying to make sense of the situation before you groaned in pain. You tensed trying to get away from the burning but your mother held onto you “please y/n just hang on Iroh is trying to cauterise your wound”. “It’s not working” you grimaced resisting the urge to scream “Iroh stop! Please!” you cried and he yelled in frustration moving his hands away from you. “No it has to work if it doesn’t then you’ll.....we need a medic down here” he yelled again but he knew everyone else was spread out and there were no healers in the group. “It’s okay” you said breathing heavily as the situation dawned on you “Iroh it’s alright”. “No it’s not” he cried sinking onto his knees beside you “it’s not y/n, you can’t...you have to fight this, you can’t leave me”. You nodded “trust me i’m trying but Iroh if I do...”. “No y/n don’t even think about it! I won’t let you go it’s not going to happen”. “I don’t think we have a choice” you admitted trying to smile but Iroh just shook his head “but we never got our shot, we never got to talk, I never got to tell you...I love you y/n” he said simply “I have for years, that’s why I never found anyone from the fire nation because the perfect person for me is you. I know there’s traditions and rules but I don’t care, I don’t want anyone else but you. I’d give up anything for you and we were finally heading in that direction and now that stupid spirit cannon”. Tears leaked down Iroh’s face and you reached out a hand to him shakily. He took it and you stroked his face “it’s okay, i’m sorry for being too scared and cautious, I’m sorry for wasting our time together but I love you too, I hope that’s enough”. Iroh nodded “It’s more than I ever hoped, you didn’t waste time you have nothing to be sorry for y/n Beifong, do you hear me?”. “I do” you smiled before coughing in pain and your mother clutched you tighter. “Y/n” your mother cried and you smiled up at her “it’s okay mom, don’t worry. It’s all going to be okay”. You clutched her hand against your chest and took Iroh’s other one. “I’m with the two people I love the most, I’m happy. This is the best way for it to...”. “Stop” Iroh said crying but you just gripped his hand tighter “Iroh look at me”. He blinked through the tears but looked at you. “It’s okay, I promise you everything will be okay”. Iroh just said your name softly and rested his head against yours. Your mother wrapped her arms around both of you and you held onto both of them the best you could when you felt the world fading away. You heard sobbing and your mother faintly saying your name until everything turned dark and it was over.
Epilogue
Following your death the fire nation, earth kingdom and republic city all paid their respects in their traditional fashions. A statue was raised by your mother in the spot of your death and every year on the anniversary of your death both her and Iroh would visit it. Iroh and your mother supported one another following your death being the only one’s who understood how monumental the loss of your life was. They managed to get through it together and although neither of them ever stopped loving you they found a way to carry on. Iroh never married, he couldn’t even consider the idea and his family never pushed him to. He still lived a long and happy life. He was very involved with his sister’s children who he loved dearly and his family never stopped supporting him. If he went quiet and got a teary look in his eye or if he struggled serving in the earth kingdom they understood. Your family also treated him like one of their own, with Lin even calling him her son on a few occasions, and he was invited to all your family’s events in recognition of your love for him. Your memory never faded and when Iroh’s life eventually ended he passed on to find you waiting for him. He knew all the suffering and heartache was over, you were finally together at last. 
____
So initially I was going to write a happy ending as well but then I thought screw it, I want to cry so I killed off the reader...but I can release the happy ending as a part two if anyone wants it. 
Edit: For the happy ending version click here
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yostresswritinggirl · 4 years ago
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Modern Scenarios with Genshin Boys
Brainrot time - be glad, today was supposed to be angst but I had a change of heart.
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"Hey, pick on someone your own size!" The first time you met Childe was when you were being bullied by some annoying bullies that had nothing to do but want to pick a fight. It was something you can handle really, and you were about to disperse the commotion when this big guy suddenly appeared as if you were his knight in shining armor. "It's the duty of the strong to protect the weak!" Did he just-?! THE AUDACITY!
Spurred on by your annoyance and your want to prove your strength, you joined the Karate club in your school where you heard he is part of. And in under a month you reached the second tier of the yellow belt. But you needed to become stronger, to reach that guy's black belt status so you can spar with him. He was too high to be directly involved with your training after all.
Finally when the fateful day comes, he looks at you with admiration at the other side of the mat, your determination and fast rank up had him enamored. But you had different plans. When the spar session started, you maneuvered around his kicks and finally did what you've always wanted to do— you wiped your dirty, uncovered foot against his face in a kick. Somehow he fell in love more.
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You've been his lover for a while now, and restaurant dates are nothing uncommon in your relationship. And you know his habit of leaving behind his wallet even if he offered that tonight's date would be taken care of. After your lovely dinner session, lo and behold, he DID forget his wallet. But as the considerate lover, you took the liberty to bring your wallet with you even if he said you shouldn't-
Only to realize you brought the wrong wallet, only counting spare change for chicken nuggets. As compensation, you two spent the rest of the night forced to pay off your late bill by doing the restaurant dishes. It was not at all part of your itinerary, but as you start singing to alleviate the boredom and with Zhongli singing along, you had the most fun dancing around the kitchen with soapy arms and loose aprons.
You didn't even know that Zhongli could sing and dance that well! Plates were cleaned faster than any of you expected, and after the IOU contract that you're for sure fixing the next day, the two of your walk home hand in hand with the brightest smile you two had ever shared.
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Oh, god, more frogs. Welcome to Biology class! You are partnered to be laboratory buddies with the ever enigmatic, science genius Albedo. He was so epic during Chemistry class, and you were praising the gods for finally bringing this ray of hope to raise up your grades effortlessly. You would think this class would flow by ever so nicely as you finish the plant studies, that is until zoology started and the professor starts talking about dissecting kits.
Your first project was to bring a frog to school to prep up for dissection. Okay, very wack, you thought as you turned to Albedo to ask how you two would even get a frog for the project. Until you saw a curious glint in his beautiful, teal eyes. Next thing you know he was over your house and as you two go around the fields in casual wear.
The fact that stores exist for buying frogs SPECIFICALLY for Biology and dissections was something Albedo held back from you, opting to wish to experience the class firsthand and beyond. It was in all honesty to get to know you better, even if most of the time you tripped on your ass over the mud of the fields trying to chase or run away from a frog. In the end he finally suggested to just buy one, to which you were furious, thankful and elated that you at least got to know the genius more.
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Heavily inspired by Driver's License. You've just recently broken up with your boyfriend a day before you got your license to drive, something you were so proud of and excited to exercise together with your lover. But yet here you are crying your eyes out as you drove on the long and winding road of... somewhere. A deserted area with the next stop over or town miles and miles away, so when you happened upon a dejected voyager who clearly needs a lift, you offered him to be a hitchhiker. Xiao was thankful, really, but the ride was ever so awkward with the obvious puffy eyes and tear stains on your cheeks.
At one point, you remembered your ex once again and had to pull over before you end up killing the both of you through tear-stained vision. With sympathy, your hitchhiker offers to drive and a listening ear to your burdens, and it indeed lifted your spirits as he offers helpful advice on your pain. You part when you reached his home with a huge thank you for the lift, and you realized that you were just a town away from him.
The next time you saw him was an embarrassing moment you didn't expect to happen or come by so fast. Awkwardly standing by the roadside where your car was supposed to be, towed away because you didn't realize it was illegal to park there, an motorcyclist with a neon decorated bike suddenly pulled over in front of you. And when he takes off his helmet to offer you a ride, the smirk on Xiao's face doubles the embarrassment. You accepted the offer.
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You are a secret agent tasked to assassinate a target you've been following and gathering data on for weeks now, the perfect opportunity happens to be a gathering of high class people, a party or ball even. You thought it would be a quick and easy operation until you realized a man named Kaeya seem to be hovering around your target too closely for your taste and ease. It seems the guy has a body guard in hand. Now your focus was on swaying this bluenette, who was thankfully very, very receptive and welcoming to your advances.
When you finally FINALLY managed to let him off your case and successfully separated him from your target, you hurried over to finish the assassination as you realized you've been lingering for far too long— only to see Kaeya about to stab your target before your interruption. It seems that instead of his body guard, Kaeya was actually a hitman hired to kill your target too, and had been dancing around together with you because he thought YOU were the body guard.
"Woah, this your target too?" "Hell yeah." "Yoooooo!" How ironic, you two laughed the coincidence out nonchalantly as your target bleeds to death besides you both. After escaping your almost jail time when the true body guards came to check on their boss, which made a very awesome action sequence as you exchanged bullets next to Kaeya, you learned that your agency had recruited a new fellow under its ranks. You didn't need a name and face to know who the sly bastard was.
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You're not really the type of person to be into parties, not since high-school, and still no in college. Things were already a pain to deal with as the midterm examinations rolling in, but your roommate somehow managed to drag you into a popular college organization's midyear party before unceremoniously dipping to drink with the org members. As you cradle your alibi cup in a corner, staring into the raucous party, you realized someone else who's solo is accompanying you in silent brooding.
The two of you awkwardly introduce yourselves to each other before realizing that you've already met once or twice in campus grounds. "I don't really wanna be here." "Me neither." "Wanna dip?" Your relief didn't even need words to confirm your wants as you two slipped away from the mess, growing in intensity that you wouldn't even be suprised if the local authorities were to be called later on.
A little food date in the local 24/7 fast food restaurant nearby and exchange of numbers made your night a little bit better. So when you two found each other in another party you were dragged in again, your hand was held warm and tight within his as you two snickered, skipping out of the venue to have your own little party.
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Hello there, welcome to the start of the fluffy days. Figured you're all sad and broken enough to finally enjoy some good ol' flutters.
@sk1nnyangelic @kookieyachi @bunniesrorange @anormalguyreader @scarletroseneko @albaedhoe @xiaophilia @heisenwurst @moaa @dandelion-dreams @witchsungie @lehra @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel @lilydewi22 @yellowflowre @traveler-lumine @nonniechan @creation-magician @hanniejji @gojos-baby @just-some-stars @volleybloop
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angry-geese · 3 years ago
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Nanami Kento x Reader
Warnings: sfw. pregnancy mention, death mention, minor injury mention. mild angst. jjk manga spoilers/shibuya arc spoilers
Summary: some pregnancy fluff with nanami
Word Count: 2.2k
jjk masterlist
Greys dot at his temples, and the sides of his beard. There's a permanent line between his eyebrows from scowling. Nanami always kept his face shaved in the past. Nowadays he hardly bothers shaving. You like it when he has a little bit of scruff, and he's often too tired to shave. His cheeks are far more gaunt. He lost a considerable amount of weight he never really gained back. You’ve been trying to get him to eat more. And it's working, but recovery isn't a short process. It was a long road that sometimes it feels like you take one step forward, only to take ten back.
He finds himself questioning if he'd rather wear a glass eye, or an eyepatch.
Nanami hardly sees the point in either. So the answer is neither. He rarely leaves his house, save for the rare times you drag him along to the grocery store, or down the street to the bakery. Even then, he wears his hat low on his head, keeping his eyes on the ground in a feeble attempt to make himself as small as possible.
Shibuya left scars on everyone who had the misfortune of being there, ones that never quite healed right. You were the same person; torn apart and put back together wrong. Age has not been kind to you, your wounds taking longer to heal, an ever-present ache in your bones. Past injuries have never quite healed, only laying dormant, waiting for the weather to sour so they can ache. He guesses he can consider himself lucky. He's alive. That's more than a lot of people can say.
But sometimes he thinks the real lucky ones were those who didn't survive.
Sometimes he thinks he's dead. In the twilight between sleep and his waking moments, he wonders if he actually made it. He wonders if he really survived, or if this is just some last ditch attempt by his brain to make sense of things.
He doesn't understand why you stay. He finds himself wondering why he bothers. Most days he doesn't see a point in continuing. But he doesn't want to leave you alone, reaching out to the empty space where he used to be.
For a long time he struggled to find purpose to all this. He wanted a reason, or at the very least answers. But he never would get them. It's unfair to say there’s an order to the universe. There's no reason why things happen the way they happen, they just do.
In the end he came to terms with it.
He remembers the glint in your eyes. A mischievous look- you were always trying to cause trouble. It's never really left. You were younger than him. Not by much. Two years. You were adamant he recommended you to become a grade one sorcerer. For months you pestered him, hounding him for that recommendation. As a Jujutsu High first-year, you looked up to him. When you got into trouble, you found yourself asking 'what would Nanami do?' And as time went on, you still did.
After months of pestering he eventually caved. You're nothing if not persistent. It was a little alarming at the time, and equally as irritating. But when you were finally a grade one sorcerer, he was there alongside you to celebrate.
At first glance, you two were far from compatible. The two of you couldn't be any more different. He was stoic and stern, and you were a known troublemaker. Your cursed technique worked well with his, and as a result, you went on many jobs together. As time went on you grew close.
And after years of working together, he finally realized he wanted more.
To everyone around you, your feelings were obvious. The two of you were hopeless. Between your stubbornness, and Nanami’s refusal to believe Gojo, neither of you wanted to be the first to confess. It was up to Gojo to help. Neither of you asked for his help, he took it upon himself. Little did he know, Nanami had a confession planned.
Nanami never got to have a proper confession. Gojo would spoil the surprise. Nanami was pissed, but your reaction was worth it. He doesn't think he’s ever seen you that happy.
Slowly things got better. Your more visible wounds healed and scarred. You went back to work. Nanami settled into domestic life better than he thought he would.
The transition wasn't the easiest. Settling down was far from an instantaneous change. He took on work around the house. For a short time you kept a ‘normal’ job. Even when you were younger, such work never suited you. Between the money you had saved up from your years as a sorcerer, and the money you got from odd jobs, you had enough to live comfortably. There was no need to work.
Slowly he started to look forward to getting up in the morning. Having a routine helped. It gave him a sense of normalcy.
He often finds himself unable to sleep. Nanami falls asleep late in the afternoon, and sleeps until either his phone, or a nightmare rouses him.
Today it's neither. He was a light sleeper before. Now even more-so. When he’s next to you, sleep comes to him easier. His arms find the swell of your belly, wrapping around it protectively. Your presence is a reminder that you’re still around, that you're not going anywhere. His shoulder aches. He finds sleep impossible. He’s too sore to move, but too sore to sleep. Even before everything, he found it easy to sleep on his couch, and hard to sleep in bed. You’d constantly pester him that sleeping on the couch wasn't good for his back. But that wouldn't stop you from staying there until you both inevitably fell asleep, and he carried you to bed.
It took you years to convince him to have one. He wanted to settle down and have children, but he couldn't be both a sorcerer and a parent. And neither could you. Shibuya only set things back. The world had to heal first. Things had to get better. The two of you had to heal before others could rely on you.
You weren't actively trying, but if it happened, it happened.
You've long since fallen asleep in the crook of his neck. He hardly left bed all day. Things were getting bad again. Sometimes months would go by where it seemed things were improving, only for them to take a nosedive. He’s still getting better, but recovery isn't a linear process. You didn't have anywhere to go that day, so you stayed right by his side. You took it upon yourself to make him feel better. Or at least bother him until he got out of bed. Much of your morning was spent watching movies on your phone, and stealing blankets from each other.
Retirement was nice. Granted, you retired rather young, but if the rest of your life was spent with him, you’d be content. He’s still the same man you fell in love with all those years ago. Aside from the occasional, safe-ish odd job, you were done with sorcery. Those days were past you.
He’s grown tired of staying still. Sometimes moving helps the aches. He never was the earliest riser before, but now he can hardly stay in bed past seven. Everything hurts. No matter when he goes to sleep, he’s usually up by 7:30, and you can count on him making coffee in the kitchen.
It's hardly past nine. The sun has completely set over the horizon. Stiffness has set into his limbs. He takes great care to not disturb your sleeping form, tucking the blankets back around you.
You nuzzle into the warm spot where he once was, a frown burned into your face. You never liked sleeping without him. Nightmares struck you frequently. Often you'd wake up from a dead sleep in a panic, calling out for him, convinced that this was some sick dream and he died years ago. He’d often wake up to you clinging to his arm, face buried in his shirt.
But he was always there.
You find it easier to fall asleep when it's light out. You don't like falling asleep in the dark. He makes sure to keep a light on in the hall. The power bill you could care less about. Nightmares came to you in the dark. Your logic is that, if there's no dark, you won't have them. To some extent it works.
It's a bit late for dinner, but he finds himself in the kitchen anyway. He wants udon, but the shop you normally go to would be closed at this hour. Their mushroom udon is the best. He’ll try to recreate it.
He sets some water on to boil, along with some frozen gyoza to thaw that you always insist on going to this one specific market in Tokyo for. Chicken and leek, with lots of ginger. Your favorite. You go through so much of the stuff that you have to get it in bulk, and freeze the extras. He thinks you’ll want tea too, so he sets the kettle on to boil.
He doesn't hear you walk in. Between the clanking of pots, and the whistling of the kettle, your soft footsteps go unheard. Nanami’s hearing was never quite the same. But he senses eyes on his back, and turns.
“I didn't mean to wake you, love.” He says.
“You didn't. I was having a hard time staying asleep anyway,” you say, “what’re you making?”
“Mushroom udon and gyoza,” he says, “it’s gonna be kind of a late dinner, but I thought it sounded good.”
“Smells good,” you say.
One of his hands finds your much smaller ones. Your fingers lace with his. His hands are warm, and calloused from years of using his weapon.
“Remind me to get more tea when I head into town tomorrow,” you say, “oh- and rice too. We were getting low the last time I checked. Do you want to go too?”
He nods. He makes a silent note to add those, along with laundry soap to the shopping list.
Before, he hated going into town. Strangers poked and prodded, and asked about his scars. It's gotten better as time goes on. If cravings struck you in the middle of the night, he would be up and ready to bring you something. Craving the mochi only sold by a specific shop in Tokyo? It doesn't matter if he had to take the train all the way to the city, he’d do it. Your arms wrap around his waist from behind. He’s a bit too tall for you to rest your head on his shoulder from behind. You have to stand on the tips of your toes to press a kiss to his cheek. He smells faintly of laundry soap, and shampoo. His stubble brushes against your lips. You always liked when he grew it out.
He pulls you so you stand in front of him, your back against his chest. His hands find the swell of your belly, wrapping around you protectively. Nanami plants a kiss on the top of your head. It's one of the few moments you feel truly normal. You’re no longer sorcerers, but a couple sharing a romantic moment, one building a life together.
He’s hardly allowed any distance between you two. Nanami acts like you’re made out of glass. He’s almost afraid to touch you. God forbid you try to lift something too heavy, or help out with the housework. He’s on you in an instant, trying to get you to rest. He’s a bit overbearing when it comes to things that aren't good for the baby. No alcohol, no caffeine, no overexerting yourself. You didn't miss alcohol all that much, but you really miss coffee. At times his presence can be suffocating. He means well, even if it gets on your nerves.
When the noodles are done, he gathers two bowls- part of a set given to you as a wedding gift. You only brought them out to use when your parents would visit. Much of the time they spent gathering dust. You always talked about using them more, but never got the opportunity to. He figures now is as good a time as ever. You set the table, setting out a few candles. He’d break out a bottle of sake if you could drink, but you just settle for tea.
"Retirement looks good on you," you say.
“It looks good on you too,” he says.
Conversation carries on while you eat. The topic falls onto mundane things that make his heart flutter only when you talk about them. You make plans to go shopping in the morning. You need groceries, and there’s a new shop opening up in town that you want to check out. When you’re done eating, you help him clean up. You clear the table while he gets the dishes.
He’s finally found his place. Not in jujutsu or human society. Not among sorcerers or regular people. His place is beside you.
And each day, he finds himself falling more hopelessly in love.
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erimeows · 3 years ago
Text
Healing
Ratchet was missing you as he finished cleaning the med bay, sleepiness threatening to take over his sky-hued optics. You were probably in your shared bed, fast asleep like you always were- and you always tried to wait up for him, but never managed to stay awake. Since he’d gotten to earth and met you, he’d gotten used to working late, whether that be helping his teammates with their injuries or doing research on Sari’s key and the organics on earth to help their cause. 
Ratchet couldn’t help but sigh as he thought about you. The two of you had been dating for a few months now, and while he had initially been reluctant to get attached to a human who he feared he’d eventually have to leave, he couldn’t help but be smitten with you. Your relationship was still in that somewhat casual, testing-the-waters stage, but he adored you, and he’d give anything to be recharging next to you instead of cleaning.
Still, he needed to clean the med bay or it would be disgusting and unavailable to use the following day. He was just glad that he was almost done with it.
Ratchet missed you, and he always felt bad for leaving you to sleep alone... Especially after the incident. 
When it had happened, he’d been in shambles, unsure of what to do with himself. It was a month after the two of you had started dating and, in the middle of an encounter with the Decepticons, Lockdown had swooped in and stolen you to take to Megatron for a bounty since you’d been helping the Autobots for a considerable amount of time.
Thankfully, Megatron had wanted you alive, and as a human, you didn’t have any parts or upgrades for Lockdown to want to steal... Ratchet hadn’t dared to say it out loud, but he was just glad that the bounty hunter hadn’t known enough about human anatomy to think about harvesting some of your organs to sell. 
That aside, it had taken almost a whole day after that battle for Ratchet and the rest of his team to find where Lockdown was hiding and take you back, barely getting you back to earth and leaving Lockdown to escape. 
You didn’t talk about it much, and for the most part, you tried to act normal. Things were okay, and you were safe, but Ratchet saw moments where you slipped up. When Lockdown or what happened that day were mentioned, you clammed up, and any time you were left by yourself, you were noticeably upset, almost like you were scared something would happen again or scared to be left alone with your thoughts. 
The red and white bot was snapped out of his own thoughts when he heard footsteps- too light to be a bot’s, but too heavy to be Sari’s- and looked over to see you standing in the doorway. You were in a large t-shirt and some sweats, (h/l) (h/c) hair messy and (e/c) eyes bleary. Ratchet couldn’t tell what it was, but something seemed off about you, so he immediately finished wiping down the last counter and tossed his cleaning rag to the side before approaching your smaller form.
“(y/n), what are you doing up this late?” The Autobot asked, placing a gentle servo on your shoulder.
“I, uh...” You stopped and looked away from him, almost as if you were embarrassed. “Had a nightmare and wanted some company. I figured you’d still be awake. When are you coming to bed?”
Ratchet could only sigh. Of course, you were embarrassed about a nightmare of all things- he’d been the same way for a long time, waking up from recharges in the middle of the night with terrible nightmares wracking his processor, only to sit up and look around to see that he was alone and safe in his empty bedroom instead of on the battlefield watching comrades die like he’d dreamt. 
He’d been embarrassed about his own trauma and feelings for a long time, too, but he knew that in the end, it was better to open up to others rather than let those things fester. So, rather than getting onto you for acting the way you were about it, he answered your previous question.
“Now, actually, unless...” Ratchet stopped. When he had nightmares, if he immediately went back to sleep, he’d go straight back into the dream. It would probably be best to keep you up for a bit and get you in a better mood before letting you go back to sleep. “Would you like to stay up for a bit before going back to sleep?”
“I’d hate to keep you up-” You started, but he quickly cut you off, able to see in your face that you didn’t want to go back to sleep at all and were only trying to avoid inconveniencing him. 
“Come on, I know how it is,” The medic spoke and moved the servo on your shoulder further down so he could hold your hand, intertwining his digits with your fingers. Slowly, he raised your hand up and pressed a gentle kiss to your knuckles.  “I’ll make you some of that, uh... What’s that hot stuff you humans drink?”
“Coffee?” 
“No, the one with the herbs.”
“Oh, you mean tea,” You smiled and gripped his servo as he reached over to turn the lights in the med bay off. “That sounds nice, actually. Thank you.”
With that, the two of you walked into the kitchen, you sitting down at the table and Ratchet getting out a pot to pour water in. It was a weird process, making tea, but you liked the stuff, and he’d seen you do it enough times to understand how it worked. 
While he’d expected for you to stay seated at the table until he finished, it was in the middle of him putting two teabags in the pot and setting it on the stove to boil that you stood up and approached him. Wordlessly, you wrapped your arms around his midsection from behind and buried your face into the cool metal plating on his back. 
“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked and fully turned around where he stood to face you wrap his arms around your body in return. You sighed into his chest. 
“I need a minute.”
“Take as long as you need,” Ratchet tried to be as reassuring as he possibly could, though comforting others wasn’t his forte nor his strong suit. He found himself feeling a bit awkward as he stroked the top of your hair and ran his digits through the tangled locks. “I’m here.”
“Are you... I mean, do you still feel the same way towards me that you did before it happened?” You asked, and Ratchet felt his spark drop.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
You nuzzled into the red and white bot’s chest as he reached back to turn the stove off in fear that the tea would boil over if he left it unattended. Voice cracking, you started to talk, words spilling out faster than your brain could comprehend.
“I just feel like when we started dating, things were so light-hearted and easy, and then Lockdown took me away and I’ve been so...” You paused to choke back a sob that had caught down your throat, hands desperately squeezing his shoulders and tears streaming down your cheeks and falling onto his chest plates. “Withdrawn? But also needy? I just haven’t been the same, and it feels like I don’t know who I am anymore! I’m used to the nightmares at this point, but now I’m having dreams about you leaving me because I’m too much to put up with and-”
“Hey, (y/n), slow down a bit, will ya? I don’t know what to say here, and y’know I’m not good at this kind of stuff, but...” Ratchet looked at your face with a gentle smile, sky-hued optics pouring into your (e/c) eyes. You blinked up at him with tears still welling up, but he reached down to wipe them away with one of his digits. “I love you more and more every day,” He admitted, almost wanting to stop himself- it had been the first time either of you had said the ‘L’ word, and maybe it wasn’t the best timing, but he needed you to know that no matter what happened, he loved you and would continue to do so. “Nothing that could happen between us or with Lockdown or whoever else will change that. I’m here as long as you want me to be, even when things are hard, because I know you’d be there for me, too.”
You nodded and further buried yourself into him, sobs now racking your entire body- now, though, instead of the anxiety that had been rolling off of you in waves moments before, you seemed to be flooded with bittersweet relief. 
So, he held you for as long as you needed, the tea cold and forgotten by both of you in the pot behind him in favor of each other’s warmth.
And, when you did collect yourself, you looked up at him with the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen and told him that you loved him, too. 
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donald4spiderman · 3 years ago
Note
Ok hear me out. Spencer is dating Reader and she’s always hated that she’s been more chubby/curvy. And one night in the middle of a case she calls him crying and Spencer just gets really soft and calms her down after a bad nightmare. And his heart breaks cause his loving girlfriend hates her body. So Spencer plans this elaborate date and proposes maybe? You can decide if the team have met her or not. I’d like it to be the original team but if you wanna combine the original and new teams together that’s cool too!
no bc my body image issues have been rampant lately so this is personal as hell to me. I work out a lot and i’m fit but i’ve never been SKINNY like i have thick legs and muscular arms andnnfnfjndjnffn so this is personal.
I modified this a bit but it’s still the same premises hope you like it! ***BTW IN THIS UNIVERSE THE S3-7 CAST EXISTS FOR THE ENTIRE SHOW— SO THE LATER SEASONS HAVE MORGAN AND HOTCH.
also sorry this is a long
TW: body image issues, discussions of food & weight, insecurity, crying, kissing
WC: 1.5k
-
You know, pragmatically, that you have nothing to worry about. Spencer chose you. And for the past four years, Spencer has worshipped you every day— again and again. He is the most loving, considerate, and tender partner you could ever wish for. He is near perfection.
You’ve met Spencer's friends many times. You’re not close with either of your parents, so the team of profilers welcomed you into their arms with grace and care. Each and every one of them is beautifully amazing and exceptionally brilliant.
Spencer‘s friends are not only badass, but they’re also gorgeous. JJ, Emily, and Garcia are national treasures— so visually stunning it’s almost sickening.
You knew he used to have a crush on JJ way before he met you. You’ve also heard the tale of Lila Archer, the celebrity actress who made out with your boyfriend in a pool. Spencer’s had an eventful life, full of beautiful, sweet, magnificent women— so why does he choose you?
You view yourself as bland in comparison. What do you have to offer Spencer that he can’t find elsewhere? You don’t have toned abs, slim hips, and slender arms. You’re not striking in any way.
Spencer calls you every night when he’s away on a case. He’s never missed a call, even when he got shot in the neck and kidnapped by a murderous cult. He’s reliable and consistent, and that eases your worries a little bit.
It’s eleven pm in D.C. and your phone rings right as your getting in bed.
“Hi, my love,” Spencer says breathily, his voice slightly muffled by the phone. He’s away in Ohio for a case.
“Hey.” You reply, the sweetness in his voice soured by your mood. “How’s the case going?”
“Good. JJ and I are about to pass out in our beds— we’re so tired.”
You can’t help the way your face drops. “Oh. Well, get rest.”
Your about to hang up before he interjects. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Why?” You know better than to lie to your boyfriend, who happens to be an expert on human behavior.
“Okay, I know a lie when I hear one. (Y/N), baby, what’s wrong?” He pleads.
You can’t help the tear that rolls down your cheek. “God, I’m sorry. I just miss you so much. You always know what to do when I’m feeling like shit.”
Spencer knows how much you struggle with self and bodily acceptance. He hates the world for making you feel anything less than incredible, both inside and out.
“I miss you too, so much, (Y/N).” His voice is thick as if he’s going to start crying too. “I love you so much, so fucking much. You have no idea how beautiful and amazing you are.”
“I don’t deserve you.”
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” He laughs through a sob that wrecks his body. “You deserve everything in this world. I promise to give you everything you’ve ever wanted. You are the love of my life.”
You wipe the tears from underneath your eyes. “Sorry for keeping you up. You must be tired.”
“Never, if it means I get to talk to you.”
“I love you, Spencer.”
“I love you too, (Y/N). More than you’ll ever know.”
-
Spencer wakes up the next day with a newfound determination. The team solves the case as fast as possible, and by the end of the night, they’ve boarded the jet back home.
Spencer has more than enough hours to think about you and how much you mean to him. Hotch is seated directly across from him, rereading the case files.
“Hotch?” The wiser man looks up from his files, raising an eyebrow.
Spencer pauses for a moment. Maybe he’d be better asking Morgan or JJ for advice, considering Hotch’s tragic circumstances regarding Haley.
But no one loves like Hotch does-- sincerely, passionately-- stronger than anything else in the world. Spencer decides there’s no one better to ask.
“How uh did you know that Haley was the one?”
Hotch’s eyes soften for a bit. He clears his throat. “I knew since the day I met her that I would love her for the rest of my life unconditionally. She makes me complete. Do you feel that (Y/N) makes you complete?”
He already knows why Spencer is asking for his advice, steering the conversation in that direction.
“Yes. She’s my world.” Spencer whispers.
“Then it’s simple, really. Love doesn’t need to be complicated and precise. It’s what you do with it that matters.”
“I want to marry her, Hotch. I want to be with her for the rest of my life.”
Hotch smiles, “Then do it.”
Spencer feels the rush of excitement as he gathers everyone on the jet, including the prior sleeping passengers, filling them in on his big plans.
“I need all of your guys’ help.”
-
There’s a firm knock on your door at four in the morning. You know it isn’t Spencer because he has a key, but who could it be?
You take a cautious look out of your peephole to find Penelope, Emily, and JJ outside.
“What are you guys doing here?” You yawn. “For god's sake, it’s four am.”
“We know, and we’re sorry.” Penelope smiles.
“Is Spencer alright?” You ask, wondering if things suddenly went wrong during the case.
But by the joyous look on their face, you know nothing somber occurred.
“Spencer’s completely fine. But, we need to you to get changed and come with us. FBI’s orders.” JJ chuckles.
You change into warmer clothes in minutes, and the BAU ladies usher you into Emily’s car as fast as possible.
“So, no ones gonna tell me what’s going on?”
They shake their heads, “We’re just... running a quick errand.”
After a few more minutes of driving, Emily parks on the side of a dimly lit street.
“I need you to put this on.” She says, holding up a blindfold.
“Are you guys gonna murder me?” You joke, slipping the fabric over your eyes with little resistance.
“Quite the opposite, actually.” You don’t have time to think about what Penelope means before you’re being yanked out of the car.
You walk, guided by JJ, for four minutes. The grass beneath you crushes below your boots, and the hushed whispers of Emily and Penelope behind you do nothing to calm your nerves.
“Okay,” JJ says, halting to a stop. “You can take off your blindfold now.”
You hesitantly slip the blindfold off, revealing a brightly lit table in the middle of a secluded field. Morgan, Hotch, and Rossi are standing off to the sides.
Suddenly, Spencer emerges from behind a tree, dusting the leaves and dirt off his adorable sweater.
“Hi?” You laugh, utterly confused by this situation. “What’s going on?”
His hands are shaking, and he has to swallow a few times before he can speak. “I-I uh got y-you apple pie— uh your favorite.”
Spencer walks you towards the table, where a small slice of warm pie sits lonely on the table.
“Y-you should um... eat it.” He urges, pointing at the knife and fork next to it.
You glance around, trying to gauge the emotions of everyone around you, but fail. Stupid profilers and their poker faces.
Your fork cuts into the heavenly smelling pie, and you scoop up a bite into your mouth.
“It’s... good? I’ll pretty much eat any pie you give me, Spencer.”
He smiles, “I know that. But t-this is a special pie.”
“Okay...”
“You should t-take a closer look— at the pie.”
You inspect the dessert, completely puzzled until a glinting piece of silver catches your eye. Spencer notices the shock in your face and catches the plate that almost falls out of your hand.
Morgan hands him a napkin, and when Spencer pulls an apple-covered ring from the slice of pie, you almost faint.
“No way.” You gasp; tears spring to your eyes as Spencer wipes the ring clean.
He holds it tightly between two fingers, bending to kneel on one knee.
“(Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), I knew from the moment I met you that you were the most special woman I’d have the pleasure of meeting. A month later, you asked me out for our first date, and I couldn’t believe that someone as gorgeous and amazing as you would settle for someone like me.” You scoff at his humility.
“I spend every moment loving every part of you, (Y/N). None of my love will ever stop— ever. I promise to share my heart with you until the very end. There is absolutely no one I would rather be bonded to for the rest of my life. You are better than my dream girl because you’re real. You’re here, and you chose to love me every day— the good, the bad, and the ugly. (Y/N), will you do me the honor and great privilege of allowing me to become your husband?” You silently sob.
“Please say yes.” Spencer smiles.
“Yes!” You exclaim, pulling him up to hug him. “How could I say anything but!”
The dam breaks, and the entire team begins to cry as you and Spencer share a passionate kiss, almost collapsing down onto the grass from the sheer force of your love. He slips the ring onto your finger; it belongs there.
“I choose you, (Y/N).” He repeats.
“I choose you, Spencer, always.” You whisper into the crook of his neck.
Nothing’s ever felt so right.
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