#dream drop distance icons

[wazzuppy]

sora icons for @invisiblejackwagon

like/reblog if you save

[gummi-ships]

[endlessskymaster]

Riku icons Dream Drop Distance

[livingshad0w]

The desire to find more fanart of my kingdom hearts faves versus the overwhelming fear of spoiling the rest of the storyline for myself

[maybe-im-dark]

The birth of Wolverpool

Deadpool zips through the multiverse with his usual panache, feeling pretty good about his little escapade. After the events of the Deadpool & Wolverine movie, he had this insane idea—why not find some more variants of Wolverine? Maybe spice things up, maybe find some new drinking buddies, and, well, maybe just mess with some timelines for the fun of it.

He lands in a bustling new dimension, boots crunching on fresh snow as he adjusts his red and black suit. The landscape looks vaguely familiar—a sprawling Canadian wilderness, of course. Typical Logan. But something’s… off.

Then he sees it. Standing atop a ridge in the distance is… himself? But wait. No. It’s… Wolverpool?

Deadpool’s eyes widen in shock, then gleam with pure joy. He rushes forward.

"Wolverpool, is that you?!" he shouts, practically vibrating with excitement.

Wolverpool, a brawny mix of Wolverine and Deadpool, stands tall. He’s wearing Deadpool’s trademark red-and-black suit, but with the classic Wolverine mask—those iconic pointed black ears stretching out from the sides of his head. There are claws coming out between his knuckles even. Deadpool stops dead in his tracks, dropping to his knees with hands clamped to his face in awe.

"Oh. My. God. I knew my dreams were insane but this—this is beautiful!" Deadpool exclaims, tears of joy threatening to spill. “This is the Deadpool-Wolverine fusion I didn’t know I needed!"

Wolverpool just stares, growling slightly.

"Okay, tough guy, let’s calm down—oh, look at those claws! So sharp! So stabby!" Deadpool reaches toward the claws, then thinks better of it and pulls back with a flourish. “Never mind, no need to lose a finger today."

But then, something catches his eye—a rift in the timeline. A shimmering distortion that beckons to him, curious and teasing. Unable to resist, Deadpool leaps through it with a quick, "Yolo!"

He emerges moments later, slightly disoriented but quickly shaking it off, when he hears some gruff voices ahead. Sneaking around a thick pine tree, he peeks out and sees—himself. And Wolverine.

But wait… Logan's not his usual self. He’s… heavily pregnant?

Deadpool’s jaw drops as he takes in the scene. Wolverine’s cradling his massive belly, leaning against a rock, his face twisted in pain. His breathing is erratic as beads of sweat drip down his furrowed brow. The version of Deadpool in this timeline is holding his hands, trying to help him through labor, though clearly at a loss for what to do.

"Holy chimichangas…" Our Deadpool gasps, slapping a hand over his mouth. He struggles to contain his laughter and amazement, his eyes sparkling with manic glee. "Logan's… in labour?!"

Deadpool can barely handle it. "Oh, this is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. Forget the rest of the multiverse, I am never leaving this timeline!" he whispers to himself before straightening up and muttering, "Okay, keep it together, Wade. Just—be respectful. It’s a magical moment."

The scene escalates as Wolverine suddenly lets out a roar of agony, his claws instinctively popping out as he clutches his sides.

"Aaaaagh!" Wolverine screams. “This kid better be worth it!”

Pregnant Wolverine's belly tightens, his muscles rippling beneath the surface, and then—like something out of an alien movie—his belly bursts open with a sickening, fleshy pop. Blood splatters, and a small, crying infant crawls its way out of him, slick with fluids.

Our Deadpool nearly passes out. "What the cronenberg!" He stumbles back in disbelief, eyes wide in horror and awe. "Okay, that was NOT on my bingo card."

The alternate Deadpool quickly swoops in, catching the newborn with the reflexes of a practiced lunatic. With surprisingly tender care, he cleans off the tiny child and places it onto Wolverine’s chest, who—already healing—leans back against the rock, looking exhausted but relieved. His body rapidly knits itself back together, the gaping wound closing as if nothing ever happened.

"There you go, Wolvie," alternate Deadpool says with a grin, patting Logan’s shoulder. "Congratulations, papa. You’ve done good." He gestures to the baby on Wolverine's chest. "Our little bundle of chaos. Takes after both of us, huh?"

Our Deadpool stares, utterly speechless for once. He shakes his head, trying to process what he’s just witnessed. "Well, that was… surreal," he mutters. "Seriously, I’ve seen some weird crap, but this? Top five, easy."

As the baby coos on Wolverine’s chest, Wolverine grunts, shooting a glare toward both Deadpools. “You two better not be making a big deal outta this, or I swear, I’ll—"

Our Deadpool snaps his fingers. "No need for threats, big guy! I’ve got enough memories to keep me laughing for the next fifty years!"

As he steps back, ready to continue his journey through the multiverse, he whispers to himself, “Well… never thought I’d see the day Wolverine gave birth. Guess there really is a first time for everything.”

One last look at the bizarrely heartwarming scene, and Deadpool shakes his head with a grin. “Well, that was unexpected..”

And with that, he leaps back into the multiverse, ready for whatever absurdity comes next.

But even for him, this one was going to be tough to top.

[luvzshy]

A Parisian Promise

Billie Eillish x fem!reader

The sun dipped low on the horizon, wrapping the city of Paris in a soft, golden light, like a painter brushing the sky with hues of pink and lavender. You walked hand in hand with Billie along the cobblestone paths of the Seine, the gentle lapping of the water echoing your heartbeat. Each step felt significant, a reminder that this was not just a vacation but a chapter of your lives woven into the fabric of a city known for love.

As the evening unfolded, the air filled with the scent of blooming jasmine from nearby gardens. You settled into a quaint café, where the aroma of freshly baked pastries mingled with the sound of laughter and clinking glasses. Over glasses of wine, you shared dreams and whispered secrets, the warmth of Billie’s gaze drawing you in like a moth to a flame. Her laughter was like music, a melody that resonated deep within your soul.

After dinner, Billie took your hand again, leading you away from the bustling streets and toward a quieter stretch along the river. The lights of Paris shimmered like stars reflected in a tranquil sea, creating a path of magic beneath your feet. The Eiffel Tower loomed in the distance, its iconic silhouette standing guard over your moment.

As you reached a secluded spot, Billie paused, her fingers intertwined with yours. The world around you faded; the chatter of the city became a distant echo, leaving only the two of you in a bubble of intimacy. Billie turned to face you, her expression earnest and tender, as if she were about to unveil the deepest part of her heart.

“Paris is a city of stories,” she began, her voice soft yet steady, “each corner holds a memory, a moment that changes everything. But our story, the one we’re writing together… it’s the most beautiful one I could ever imagine.”

Your breath hitched as she reached into her pocket, the weight of the moment settling in. From the folds of her jacket, she produced a small velvet box, the deep blue color mirroring the night sky above. Your heart raced, the reality of what was happening dawning on you.

Billie dropped to one knee, the cobblestones cool beneath her, contrasting with the warmth of her love. “I’ve never known a love like this,” she said, her eyes locking onto yours, filled with a blend of excitement and vulnerability. “You make every day feel like a song worth singing, and I want to spend the rest of my life creating our own melody together.”

With trembling hands, she opened the box to reveal a ring—delicate yet striking, a shimmering band that caught the light like the city around you. “Will you marry me?”

Tears brimmed in your eyes, spilling over as you nodded, overwhelmed by the depth of her words and the beauty of this moment. “Yes, a thousand times yes!” you exclaimed, your voice thick with emotion.

Billie slipped the ring onto your finger, her touch gentle and deliberate. As she stood up, you were enveloped in her embrace, the world melting away. The Eiffel Tower sparkled in the background, each light a celebration of your love.

“I promise to love you fiercely, to support you, to be your partner in every adventure,” Billie murmured against your hair, her breath warm and soothing. “I can’t wait to build our life together.”

You pulled back to look into her eyes, filled with hope and promise. In that moment, with the city of Paris as your witness, you knew that this was the beginning of forever.

Underneath the starry Parisian sky, you sealed the promise with a kiss, the world around you fading into a blur of love and laughter, each heartbeat echoing the sentiment: this was home.

[fanfictionismyaddiction]

Hi bestie <33! Can you please do a toto wolff x fem reader where toto is the dom and has a daddy kink (he wants reader to call him it) and also an age gap kink! Tysm<333

Speed and Submission

Word count: 1.1k

Summary: A young engineer finds herself working alongside the formidable Toto Wolff. The professional relationship between them evolves as they spend long nights working together, and a palpable tension builds. 

Warnings: smut, Daddy kink, male Dom female sub, Size difference, size kink, age difference, Power imbalance, explicit language, age kink

One Shot Masterlist

______________________________________________________________

The roar of engines reverberated through the paddock as the Formula 1 race weekend began in earnest. The energy was palpable, a mix of tension and excitement that everyone from the mechanics to the drivers could feel. Amidst this controlled chaos, I found myself in the heart of it all, standing beside Toto Wolff, the formidable team principal of Mercedes-AMG Petronas Formula One Team.

I was 25, fresh out of university with a degree in engineering, and this was my first job. It was a dream come true to work alongside such an iconic figure in the motorsport world. Toto, with his towering presence and sharp intellect, commanded respect effortlessly. His passion for the sport and relentless drive for perfection were intoxicating.

Our professional relationship had always been strictly that—professional. Toto was the epitome of discipline and focus, his every move calculated. But as the season progressed, we spent more and more time together. Late nights in the garage, analyzing data, strategizing for upcoming races, and occasionally sharing a quiet dinner when the workday stretched into the night.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon and the paddock lights cast a warm glow, Toto and I were working alone in the team's hospitality suite. The air was thick with unspoken words and a tension that had been building for weeks.Toto looked up from his laptop, his intense blue eyes meeting mine with a mix of admiration and something deeper.

"You’ve done an exceptional job this season," he said, his voice low and filled with a blend of pride and something else I couldn’t quite place. "I couldn’t have asked for a more brilliant and, shall we say, spirited young engineer.”

I felt a blush rise to my cheeks. "Thank you, Toto. It means a lot coming from you."

He stood up, his tall frame casting a shadow over me. "There's something else I want to talk about," he said, taking a step closer. "I’ve noticed your dedication, your enthusiasm. But I can’t help but be intrigued by the contrast between your youthful energy and my experience. It’s... captivating."

My heart raced as I looked up at him, my breath catching in my throat. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," he said, his voice dropping even lower, "there's something between us. Something undeniable. The age difference. It’s more than just numbers, isn’t it? You’re young, vibrant, full of potential. And I find it incredibly appealing."

I couldn't deny it any longer. The late nights, the shared glances, the unspoken connection—it was all real. "Yes," I whispered. "There is something there."

Without another word, Toto closed the distance between us, his hands gently but firmly gripping my arms. His kiss was fierce, dominant, and it took my breath away. He was in control, as he always was, and I found myself surrendering to his dominance.

From that moment on, our relationship took on a new dimension. Toto was still the commanding leader at work, but behind closed doors, he was even more intense. He guided our relationship with the same precision and determination that he applied to the team. He was protective, passionate, and completely in control, often emphasizing the allure of our age difference.

Late one night, after a particularly grueling race, Toto invited me to his private suite. As I stepped inside, the door clicked shut behind me, and I felt the atmosphere shift. The room was dimly lit, the scent of his cologne mingling with the faint aroma of whiskey. Toto stood by the window, his silhouette sharp against the city lights.

"Come here," he said, his voice a deep, commanding growl.

I walked toward him, my heart pounding in my chest. As I reached him, he pulled me close, his hands gripping my waist with a possessive intensity. "Do you know how hard it's been to keep my hands off you?" he murmured, his lips brushing against my ear. "You’re so young, so full of life. It’s irresistible."

I shivered at his touch, my body responding to his dominance. "Then don't," I whispered, my voice trembling with anticipation.

Toto's eyes darkened with desire as he captured my lips in a searing kiss. His hands roamed over my body, exploring, claiming. He pushed me back against the wall, his lips trailing down my neck as he whispered, "You're mine tonight."

I gasped as his hands found their way under my blouse, his touch igniting a fire within me. "Yes, Toto," I breathed, surrendering completely to his control.

Toto's hand moved to my chin, lifting my face to meet his gaze. "When we're alone, I want you to call me 'Daddy'," he said, his voice a mixture of command and affection. "Understood?"

"Yes, Daddy," I answered, feeling a thrill run through me at his insistence.

"Good girl," he murmured, his voice sending shivers down my spine. "Now, come with me.”

He led me to the bedroom, the dim lighting casting shadows that danced across his strong features. As we entered the room, Toto turned to face me, his gaze intense. "Strip," he ordered, his voice firm.

I obeyed, my hands trembling slightly as I removed my clothes. Toto watched me intently, his eyes darkening with desire. Once I was completely naked, he stepped closer, his hands skimming over my skin, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

"You look stunning," he whispered, his voice thick with lust. "Now, get on the bed."

I climbed onto the bed, my heart racing with anticipation. Toto joined me, his hands exploring my body with a possessive hunger. He kissed me deeply, his tongue dominating mine, before trailing his lips down my neck and across my collarbone.

His touch was both tender and demanding, his hands guiding me into positions that left me vulnerable and exposed. "You're mine, do you understand?" he growled, his voice low and commanding.

"Yes, Daddy," I moaned, my body arching into his touch.

Toto's control was absolute, his dominance a heady mix of pleasure and power. He brought me to the brink of ecstasy over and over, his touch igniting a fire that consumed me completely. Each time I thought I couldn't take any more, he would push me further, his words a constant reminder of who I belonged to.

As the night wore on, our passion only grew more intense. Toto's dominance was unwavering, his desire insatiable. He claimed me in every way possible, his touch leaving me breathless and begging for more.

Finally, as dawn began to break, we collapsed together, our bodies tangled in a mess of sheets and sweat. Toto's fingers traced lazy patterns on my skin as he whispered, "You belong to me."

"Always," I replied, my voice a satisfied sigh.

Toto's hand moved to my chin, lifting my face to meet his gaze. "Good girl," he murmured, his voice sending shivers down my spine. "Now rest. We have another race tomorrow, and I need you at your best."

"Yes, Daddy," I whispered, feeling a deep sense of contentment and belonging.

[tieronecrush]

hot & heavy

epilogue: our love is going gold

neighbor!joel x f!reader

series masterlist

series rating: E (18+ MDNI)

series summary:

over the course of three summers, joel miller becomes woven into your life. the first summer is spent falling for him; nannying his daughter and sneaking around with him in a burning love affair. you know how you feel about joel, he isn’t so sure about how it all is gonna work. the second summer is brief. a month spent at home after graduation and before you move to boston for your dream job. one look at you, one time hearing your voice, and joel is hooked again. he pines over you for that month, but you think — how is long distance of over a thousand miles going to work for a single dad? the third summer, you return home burnt out and pride bruised from your post-grad life. you need time to feel at home again, like your complete self, so you’ve come back home with no return ticket booked. it’s only a matter of time before joel seeks you out, slowly spending more time with you. without an inevitable end to the summer looming over you both, what chances are you willing to take?

word count: 17.2k (but she's done. like done, done.)

warnings (**SPOLIERS**): NO OUTBREAK (don’t need to worry about the mushies), no use of y/n, inexperienced reader, age gap (joel is 30/31, reader is 22), canon-divergent (sarah is now 10 y/o), nanny au, pet names (sweetheart, darling, sweet girl, mariposa, etc.), established relationship, engagement, marriage, alcohol, eating, very lovey romantic, polite southern manners, spanish/spanglish cause joel is latino, soft joel, domestic joel, WIFE!! GUY!! JOEL!!, discussion of parenting, step-parenting, struggles with conceiving, negative self talk and image, smut, soft dom joel, fingering, oral (f receiving), joel worships the ground his wife walks on and also her body, praise, unprotected p in v (they're tryna get pregnant, not you!), breeding kink, sort of nursing kink? joel is briefly obsessed with your tits and makes comments, mating press, a flash of cumplay, the BRIEFEST mention of daddy kink, joel really wants to give his wife a baby, pregnancy, a mention of giving birth, girl dad joel, CUTE FAMILY!!!

also this is the song mentioned <3 it's a fave of mine and i think very joel & mari

a/n: this has been a doozy but happy to hand this over to y'all. this is simply what i envisioned for their future, and if you had different thoughts, i would love to hear them! <3 or if you have any headcanons for their life beyond this, drop them in my inbox! this fic and these characters are my children and i love them very much. will probably keep them alive somehow. and thank you to everyone who's read this series, you are all so special to me and have sincerely made me feel so much more confident in my writing!

as always, thank you thank you thank you @northernbluess for beta-ing, couldn't do it without you! and this extremely long ending is dedicated to el and kiwi @kiwisbell you are my hype people fr

i feel like i need to say like signing off on h&h now lol so this is me doing that & closing the book!

** this is set over three additional summers post-main story **

first of many

After the holidays, it was an easy decision to move in with Joel and Sarah. The Millers had joined your family for their annual, lowkey celebrations; spending Christmas Eve with Joel and Sarah, it was a treat to witness him playing Santa after Sarah had gone to bed. Only a few curses under his breath putting together the new dollhouse she’d requested from St Nick, the other presents from her father, and your gifts to her carefully wrapped under the tree. The two of you split the plate of cookies while watching A Christmas Story, you and Joel taking turns mumbling the words to the iconic scenes under your breaths.

The next morning, your heart was overwhelmed with the love that you hold for this family that has welcomed you in and made you a part of it. Sarah gifted you a photo frame that she’d made at school, painted with flowers and butterflies, and a photo of the three of you from the trip to the apple orchard you’d taken that fall. Once Sarah was occupied with her new treasures, gifts were exchanged between you and Joel. Requesting to gift first, you stand up from the couch and tiptoe around Sarah and her new dolls sprawled across the floor to the front hall closet and retrieve a brand new, custom acoustic guitar. 

Sitting back with him, guitar placed into his hands and his eyes combing over it, his lips part with a gasping breath when he notices in the inlay of ‘SME’ for his daughter’s name, Sarah Elena.

“The old one in the corner of your room was lookin’ a little worse for wear, and I hadn’t seen you play it in a while…” you trail off in the silence, waiting for his response, “Do you—do you like it? Is it the right kind? I tried to match it the best I could to the one upstairs.”

“Oh, Mari baby, I love it. It’s beautiful, thank you so much…” He shakes his head, taking another sighing exhale in appreciation as he turns it in his hands. “Hadn’t played the other one 'cause it wasn’t quite playable anymore. Restrung it a few too many times, the wood was warped from some water damage. The perils of having a toddler around years ago. This is…it’s perfect, Mariposa.”

You beam, shifting in your seat and anxiously fiddling with your fingers. Joel sets the instrument down next to him carefully, turning back to you. He leans in, kissing you delicately and whispering another ‘thank you’ against your lips, “Guess m’gonna have to serenade you now.”

“Oh, yeah, J. I expect one nightly,” you playfully respond, kissing him again before he pulls away, his turn to stand from his place on the couch. 

He wanders over to the tree, plucking the last wrapped gift from under it, and returning to sit next to you. Handing over the small rectangular box, you unwrap it gingerly, glancing at Joel’s knee bouncing. You gently set your hand on it, smiling at him which he returns, biting his lip to channel his jittery energy. Opening the box, you’re met with the shining gold links of a beautiful charm bracelet. Your eyes wander over the small icons, feeling your chest tighten with love as you take them all in: A small ‘S’ with a ruby-colored stone at each end of the curve, a matching ‘J’ with a sapphire embedded into it right next to the ‘S; there’s a tiny gold key, nearly identical to the one he had given to you those three summers before for your job that started it all; a tiny set of longhorn antlers that is reminiscent of home; a lighthouse that reminds you of one you visited while living in Boston, a day you had documented and sent Joel some of the photos in the mail to recap your time. It was a day you had been happy there, and it made your heart ache that he remembered that. The last charm on the bracelet is a butterfly, bejeweled with kelly green stones, the color of the leaves that you told him were your favorite years ago. The ache in your chest is worked out of its knot with Joel’s hand at your back, a gasping breath as you blink back tears.

Clearing your throat, your watery smile has a flash of worry crossing his eyes before you hand him the bracelet you’ve taken out of the box, lightly requesting, “Will you put it on for me?”

Joel nods shyly, taking the dainty piece in his hands, and hooking the clasp around your wrist after a few tries. You both admire it, your smile growing wider and his matching yours.

“Merry Christmas, Mari baby. I love you.”

“Merry Christmas, J. I love you, too.”

Now, months later, the bracelet on your wrist glints in the sun as you hold onto Sarah’s hand, letting her lead you around the atrium filled with butterflies. Spending the day at the same farm you three had visited summers ago, and had kept up with the tradition with the summers following, you picked an abundance of strawberries, wandered through the nature paths, and now ending the day at the youngest Miller’s favorite spot.

Sarah wildly points out the different types of butterflies, the encyclopedia book of the insect’s species that you had gifted her for Christmas coming in handy for today as she reads the small signs of each patterned, winged creature, adding in her tidbits that she remembers. A grin stays plastered on your face as you listen intently, paying no mind to Joel trailing behind the two of you.

Giving your lessons on the flora that you know of in the gardens, Sarah listens to you as well. Stopping in front of the small waterfall, surrounded by tropical plants and flowers, the two of you go back and forth in fun facts about plants and butterflies, unaware as Joel saddles up behind you. Sarah glances back over her shoulder and grins, the expression reading as knowing and mischievous. Before turning around, you start to warn Joel behind you playfully, “J, if you’re even thinking about pushing me or splashing me, I will ki—”

Your breath catches when you finally face him, eyes dropping to meet his; the backpack he’d be adamant about carrying all day is at his feet, unzipped, and in his hands is a small, forest-green velvet box. Joel rests on one knee, a soft but bright, devoted smile on his face.

“Oh my god…” It comes from your lips as a whisper, your free hand reaching up to cover your mouth while the other continues to tether you to Sarah at your side, her small giggle hitting your ears as Joel glances at her, sending her a wink.

Eyes back on your face, Joel clears his throat, adjusting himself on his knee as he takes a deep breath, “I have been trying to figure out exactly what to say, and I can’t seem to find quite the right words that tell you exactly how I feel about you. I love you, so much, Mariposa. The second you entered my life, that time I saw you for only seconds in your backyard while I was touring the house, I knew I had to meet you. And then the first time I met you, well, I knew that you were who I needed.

“I’ve been walking around blind, trying to figure out life for years, and moving next door to you, that was the last piece falling into place. You have made my life, and Sarah’s life, a million times better. And while these past few years haven’t been picture-perfect for us, we made it through, and I know that we can take on anything that comes our way. Eres el alma más hermosa que he conocido, y soy muy afortunada de tenerte. (You are the most beautiful soul I have ever met, and I am so lucky to have you.) I’ve been waiting for years to do this, Mari baby, and I can’t have any more summers pass by without you being mine. Tú eres mi media naranja. (You’re my soulmate.) I love you. Te amo, Mari. You’re my soulmate, sweet girl, and I can’t take another day without the promise of forever. Will you marry me, Mariposa?”

Without hesitation, you nod your head frantically, your tears that started falling as soon as Joel started speaking continue to flow. You uncover your mouth, squeezing Sarah’s hand and sharing a smile with her before she takes her hand away.

“Yes, oh my gosh, Joel…of course, of course, I’ll marry you. I love you so much, J.” You squat down in front of him, left hand trembling as you hold it out for him. He carefully takes the ring from the box, and Sarah, ever the helper, takes it from the spot where it rests on his knee for safekeeping. The delicate gold band slips onto your finger, embellished with clusters of tiny gems and centered with an emerald cut diamond. It’s perfectly you, and you can’t wipe the smile off your face as you watch Joel settle the piece of jewelry on your finger. Both of you take a deep breath, admiring the sight before your eyes find each other’s again, matching expressions of complete admiration. Your hands find his cheeks, pulling him in for a tenderly passionate kiss, attempting to breathe all the love in your chest into the kiss and his heart. Joel pulls away first, resting his forehead against yours for a quiet moment.

“Thank you, J,” you whisper, and his head tilts with curiosity.

“For what, baby? I think I should be thankin’ you for sayin’ yes to me.” He chuckles and rubs his thumb at the back of your hand, skimming next to the band of the new addition.

“Everything. For not giving up. Your patience when I was still finding my way back to you. How effortlessly you’ve welcomed me into your life and your family…” Cheating your body away, one hand reaches out to pull Sarah into the small huddle, reuniting the moment within your unit of three, “I just—I can’t wait for all my summers to be spent with you both.”

“I can’t wait either. This is gonna be the first of many, Mari baby.”

And the two of you really couldn’t wait.

Only a week after Joel was down on one knee, your family was throwing you an engagement party. Tommy, a few of Joel’s close friends from his contracting company, your college friends, and neighbors were all in attendance to celebrate the two of you, and it was a big to-do. Drinks flowing, music playing, and food was being passed around. Everything under the warmth of a Texas night and the strung lights across the stretch of your parents’ backyard. Joel was glued to your side the entire night, hand on your back or clasped in yours, grabbing your refills and whispering in your ear to make you laugh.

“So…are all of these people coming to the wedding? ‘Cause I can count about half that I have no idea who they are.”

To that, you whispered back, “I don’t know them either, so definitely not. Unless they wanna buy us the most expensive thing on the registry.” Joel laughed, squeezing you closer — if it were even possible — and pressing a kiss to your temple.

Later, once you two were far past tipsy, Joel mumbled against your ear, barely able to get the words out without drunkenly giggling himself, “D’you think Mrs. Clarke is thinkin’ m’the one that got away?”

You couldn’t contain your laughter, bursting out in the middle of the conversation happening around you two, quickly covering your mouth as the lingering hiccups escape, “I think she’s singin’ the blues about you, Miller.”

The rest of the evening was filled with small moments between the two of you; never left alone long enough to have a full conversation on your own. Whispers of love and affection breathed out, fleeting kisses exchanged. It wasn’t until the party was over, everyone dwindled out the door and back to their homes, that you and Joel took a beat to speak to each other in more than one sentence. The early hours of the morning had crept in without anyone quite noticing, and Sarah was knocked out, brought inside to sleep in your old bedroom around 10pm when she couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore. Joel now held her in his arms, her head laying on his shoulder while the three of you walked the short distance home. After your quiet goodnight to Sarah that went unheard by her sleeping self, Joel put her down, taking off her shoes and leaving her undisturbed to sleep in her clothes.

Back in the ensuite of your, now, shared bedroom, you’re lazily getting ready for bed, movements slower and lagging from the alcohol you consumed. Joel stands behind you, facing your reflection in the mirror and giving you a smile as the exhaustion catches up to him.

“You have fun tonight, sweet girl?” His vocal cords rub together in a fry, hands finding their place on your waist and drawing you back into his chest. Littering kisses at the back of your neck, he hums contently before you affectionately shoo him off to brush his teeth while you apply your skincare.

“‘Course I did, J. Spent most of the night with you, how could I not have fun?” You grin at him from in front of your side of the double sinks, gently rubbing in your moisturizer. “Have you given any thought as to when you wanna set a date for?”

Whatever he responds is muffled by the foamy toothpaste, your face twisting in confusion before he leans over and spits out, rinsing his mouth and toothbrush. Standing back up, he rests his hip against the countertop while facing you, shrugging as he smirks slightly, “As soon as possible. Baby, I’d get married to ya in a garbage dump if it meant we could get married right this second. No puedo esperar para hacerte mi esposa. (Can’t wait to make you my wife.) And I know you don’t want that, and I want to make you happy, so whenever you want, Mari. Lo que sea que desees, lo haré realidad. (Whatever you wish for, I’ll make a reality.) But I will say, summer’s kind of our thing.”

A gentle smile stretches across your lips as you step closer, hands coming to rest on his chest and massaging your fingers gently into the muscles there, “Well, how about we do this summer? I mean, I don’t want anything fancy, just something special for us. Thought maybe we could do it here, in our backyard and my parents’. Where we met and fell in love and broke up and fell in love again and—”

“I love that idea, sweetheart. Think it’s perfect for us…” Joel punctuates his work by stealing a kiss, mint and strawberry lip balm melting on his tongue when he deepens it only for a few seconds, “Think we can manage for Labor Day weekend, mi amor?”

Nodding confidently, your hands skate up to his shoulders, pulling him down for another kiss, “I believe we just set our wedding date, Miller.”

“Damn right, we did, Miller.”

A whirlwind of planning and three months later, you now stand in your childhood bedroom on the second floor of your parent’s house, admiring yourself in the full-length mirror standing in the corner. Your mom had helped you with your hair, a small gold barette holding one side away from your face; your makeup was fairly minimal, fresh, and bright, but nothing too heavy that would melt in the heat that has graced Austin this weekend.

On your wrist is your charm bracelet from Joel, a simple gold locket to match that your father had gifted you the evening before at the rehearsal dinner — it has belonged to his grandmother, and now your grandma wanted you to have it since she couldn’t make the trip down due to her age. It was your ‘something old’ he said, playing into the old traditions that seemed to charm your entire family. 

Your ‘something borrowed’ was a pair of white strappy sandals from your mom, ones that she had worn to her rehearsal dinner when she married your dad. The title of ‘something new’ belonged to the charm hanging off of your wrist that was hand-delivered to you this morning from Tommy, per the request of Joel since you both were getting ready in opposite houses. The gift box unveiled a gold lotus flower, hand painted with deep magenta petals. Inside the lid of the box was a folded note, the words written by your soon-to-be husband in his usual scrawl.

Mi amor,

Got to reading one of your books you leave around about plants, and they were talking about the lotus flower. Made me think of you — since they go back to the murky water each evening and open their blooms at the break of day. You always start fresh, sweet girl, you’re so resilient and strong and pure of heart. No matter what happens, you get through it. And you won’t have to go at it alone, baby. I’m gonna be right there with you through anything.

You make me a better man.

Te amo, mi media naranja.

J

You had to touch up your makeup after having read the note over and over for minutes straight, now fresh faced and eager to get downstairs. One last time in the mirror, you give yourself the once over, smoothing the long, full skirt of your linen dress. The ruched empire bodice lays across your chest, framing your neck with a square shape along with the cap sleeves. Simple, but it feels perfectly you. And now, you were finally on your way to get your something blue: Joel in his navy suit, waiting at the end of the aisle for you.

Everyone’s gathered in their seats, only a crowd of around forty people from your lives occupying the rows, all carefully selected to make the cut. It was easy for Joel, he had three people he wanted there for sure, and well, his daughter didn’t have a choice living right next door, plus with her dad being the groom, and you being the bride. The only chance of a wild card he had was Tommy, but he was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning despite the many shots he had the night prior. At the rehearsal dinner of all places.

Dressed and gaffed, he stands at the end of the short aisle after having walked down it hand-in-hand with Sarah, who was donning a lilac dress she picked out with your help and her hair in her natural, bouncy curls. She now sits next to Tommy in the front row, whose new girlfriend Maria is sitting on the other side of him, stealing peeks over the back of the seat to try to catch a glimpse of you at the top of the deck stairs. Joel is doing the same, eyes flickering from scanning over the crowd to tunneling at the opening of the stairs. 

Music starts and it immediately tunes out of his ears, a tingle of excitement radiating from his chest throughout his body. A vision in white, you appear at the stairs with your arm linked to your dad, Mark; he isn’t paying attention to anything but you, captivated by your beauty. His heartbeat kicks up when you walk down, reaching the end of the grassy path between rows of chairs, and stopping for a moment. With the bouquet in one hand, you use the other that was resting on your dad’s arm to give him a short wave that he returns with a grin.

Each step you take brings up tears in his eyes, an overwhelming joy clenching around his heart. A few drop down his cheeks, using one of his thumbs to wipe away the streaks as you give him a gentle smile, speeding up your walk and dragging your dad along with you. The guests laugh at the eagerness, Joel rocking on the balls of his feet as he bites back his wild grin when you finally reach him. Exchanging hugs with your dad, Mark shakes Joel’s hand before clapping him on the back, a sure nod directed to him.

His hand slips into yours naturally, helping you with the last few steps to stand in front of him, exhaling a deep breath. A smile that he can’t wipe off stretches across his face, looking into your eyes as he lifts a hand to wipe his cheeks. You do the same, delicate touch against his skin while your gaze stays trained on his. Beating out of his chest, his heart thumps deeply, the wings of his butterfly fluttering madly in his gut in time with his heartbeat.

“Hey, Mari.”

“Hi, J.”

Everyone settles back in their seats, and your brother stands at the makeshift altar, a carved arbor handmade by Joel over the last few months frames the three of you in front of your guests. You turn to hand off the wildflower bouquet you put together to Sarah, eager to fulfill her responsibility of holding it during the ceremony. She grins, whispering to you loud enough for him to hear when she takes the arrangement.

“You look so pretty, Posey. I’m excited for you to marry Daddy.” Your hand reaches for her curls, squatting down in your dress to address her at eye level, unconditional love shining in your eyes as you look at his daughter.

“You look beautiful, Sare Bear. I’m so excited, too.” Other words are exchanged only between the two of you, a hug shared before Sarah retreats to her chair next to Tommy and you stand up and take Joel’s hands.

Chris ambles through an introduction, recollecting his version of events, as well as both of your sides, for how your relationship has progressed. Humor was laced throughout, laughter bubbling over throughout the crowd of guests, and especially between the two of you when you shared knowing expressions.

The ceremony moves quickly, with no religious elements to extend the length, simply secular. Before he knows it, Chris is reaching the vows, allowing a moment for Tommy to present the rings to each of you, clapping a hand on his brother’s back.

“Don’t fuck this one up, brother. Posey’s a good ‘un. Way too good for you—”

Joel cuts him off with a mumble and an eye roll, “I know all of this, Tommy, but thank you for the reminder.”

Chris directs Joel to go first, a deep inhale and extended exhale fills the air as you give his hands a reassuring squeeze. He flashes a smile at you before he drops one of your hands, finishing in his inside jacket pocket for the small slip of paper.

“I tried to memorize this, but we both know that wasn’t gonna happen…” he huffs out a nervous chuckle, reading over the page before his eyes come back to you, a patient and gentle grin on your face, “I genuinely hope you know how much I love you. I try to show you, to tell you, to make you feel it through osmosis every day, but I truly hope you can feel it. Through all that we have been through together and on our own, I have always had you in my mind. I thought about you every day you were away, and all I was hoping for was your happiness. I cannot tell you what it means that you have found your happiness with me, but I will be thanking whatever forces are out there for bringing us back together. Our roads may have been bumpy, and they may be in the future, but I’m so thankful to have you in my passenger seat. Cause we both know you don’t like to drive.” Joel winks and the crowd of guests laugh.

“I never want to let go. And I’m never going to let you go, Mariposa, I’m in it for the long run.  Eres todo para mí. (You are everything to me.) You are everything I have ever asked for, hoped for, didn't think I deserved. You are…un alma tan pura (such a pure soul) and I don't know how you ended up with me, but I'm countin’ my luck every second of every day. I love you through anything, mi Mariposa, and I cannot wait for our future together, as a family. I’m so happy that you have found a place you belong with Sarah and me, and I feel so lucky that you have chosen me. Te amo, mi Mariposa. Siempre.”

Recovering from your tears, you choke out a small sob that tugs on his heartstrings, tightening his grip on your hand while his brow furrows softly in concern.

“Happy tears, I promise, J. Very happy tears.” Another sob comes with a burst of laughter, a hand of yours fanning your face. Joel reaches up, wiping away the stragglers, careful to not smudge any of your mascara. With a deep breath, you focus back, centered, offering Joel your left hand. He repeats the phrase from Chris, who recites it from his printed-out online ordainment course before slipping the simple matching gold band onto your finger above your engagement ring, ears ringing when he sees the symbol of his love and commitment on your finger, where it will stay for the rest of his time on this Earth.

Next, it was your turn to recite your vows, Chris pulled a piece of paper from his jacket and handed it to you. A giggle slips from your lips, wavering the small folded sheet, “Couldn’t memorize it either. Got too much to say…”

Joel relaxes in his stance, thumb circling the back of your palm as he listens, the butterfly wings fluttering into his chest and up to his head, love overwhelming his nervous system across his body. You clear your throat, looking up from the wrinkled white sheet, “I didn’t know that one summer spent at home would completely send me on a whole new life path, but looking back, I am eternally grateful that I wanted to mooch off my parents for as long as possible. That first summer, I fell hard and fast, and despite the obstacles, my love continued to root deeper inside of me and grow out new branches with every memory we made together. I am so lucky to have been welcomed so easily into the Miller household, and I cannot imagine my life with you or Sarah there right next to me. You both have brought so much into my life and thanks to you, J, I feel like I have truly found myself. 

“I was always searching for what I was meant to do, who I was meant to be, and what I would leave behind in my life. And while I went out searching everywhere, the answer was my next-door neighbor. I am meant to be your person, I was meant to care and love and create a life with you, and your wonderful daughter, and I know I will leave behind all my love for you and our family behind. My success does not need to be measured by the reach of my impact, but by how deeply I love you. That is all that matters to me, to make you feel loved and supported and to know how incredible you are. You mean the world to me, and I love Sarah as if she were my own; both of you are my best friends and I could not do this life without you. I am so excited to spend the rest of my days, and the rest of my summers with you, J. I love you. Forever.”

The same routine goes for you, slipping a gold band around Joel’s left ring finger. He flexes with the new accessory on his hand, admiring it before he looks at you, a wide and wild grin crossing his face as he listens as Chris starts to ask him that very special question, “Joel, do you ta—”

“Absolutely I do. No question.”

Laughter rises from the attendees, and you, playfully roll your eyes. Chris nods shortly, chuckling as he turns to address you with the same question. He states your name, inquiring, “Do you ta—”

“Of course, I do. Only been waitin’ years for this to happen.” 

Joel laughs, shaking his head as he mumbles a sweet agreement, “You and me both, baby.”

Chris drops the papers he was reading from next to him on the grass, clasping his hands together, “Well, that made it damn easy for me. With the power vested in me by apparently the state of Texas, but who really knows, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Now y’all can kiss finally.”

A hand presses against the small of your back, pulling you into his chest as he folds down, latching your lips to his in a deep kiss, all of his love pouring into the moment. It takes restraint to not take it further in front of everyone, your intoxicating taste drawing him in and quenching a perpetual thirst he has. You lean back first, fingertips digging into his shoulders to hold him off as you whisper, “Gotta keep some decorum until tonight, Mr. Miller.”

“Hard to do that with you, Mrs. Miller,” he rasps back, matching blindingly bright grins across your faces as you right yourself, turning to face your guests as your brother loudly announces.

“For the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Miller!”

With the low-key, intimate wedding that you both had planned together, there was no real formal separation of the ceremony and reception. Instead, everyone wandered over to the backyard of Joel’s home, which was now yours, too. There were rented tables set up with chairs around, no seating chart, and a checkered dance floor set up in the middle of the lawn. Lights have been strung from his deck to the tree at the back of the property line that holds Sarah’s tire swing, some lanterns strewn about to add more light as the sun sets in the later evening. 

The family-favorite restaurant in the city that the three of you have frequented, even as friends, catered the meal, and your parents, ever so prepared, had stocked up all summer with booze. Your dad plays pretend bartender, getting your now-husband behind the tablecloth-covered folding table and pouring heavy drinks and somehow heavier shots. By sundown, everyone was liquored up enough to cheer for you both to have a first dance, chanting their request over and over.

Joel looks at you from his spot next to you, eyebrows raising in question. His hand at your back draws you closer, starting to sway to whatever song is playing as he grins with a looseness to him, relieved to have you as his for good and relaxed from the alcohol in his blood. “C’mon, Mari baby, I wanna dance with you. M’wife. I got the perfect song.”

“Okay, okay, you go tell Chris what song you want and see if he’s got it on his iPod.” 

You push Joel along, giggling to yourself as he shuffles over to Chris, the makeshift DJ for the evening. Joel leans in, talking in your brother’s ear over the music currently playing. They exchange a smile and nod, Joel laying a hand on his shoulder and shaking it affectionately. His beer gets abandoned on the nearest surface, giddily running over to you and taking your hand. Impatiently, he pulls you to the center of the dance floor, and Tommy intercepts your drink before it sloshes all over the front of you, huffing out a disbelieving breath as you continue to drag behind Joel.

Your husband turns you in his arms, one hand finding your back as the other lifts your joined ones toward his shoulder, elbows bent. Everyone else clears the dancefloor as an upbeat guitar riff sounds out of the speakers surrounding the dancefloor, the bright drums kicking in as Joel starts to shuffle the two of you around the dancefloor, a swing to your movements again.

The familiar lyrics of Orleans’ Still the One that Joel has sung to you many times over the last year are recited right back to you, making you reminisce about the time you were driving in the car to pick up Sarah from camp, a rare afternoon that both of you had off together. The song had come onto Joel’s favorite classic rock station, perking him up in his seat as he turned the volume dial up.

“Oh, Mari baby, this is such a great song.”

Not as familiar with it, you listen, giggling as he sings along with his words pointed at you, and you had to admit, they were pretty sickly sweet. Ever since then, Joel got into the habit of singing it to you, learning to play it after he received his new guitar from you at Christmas.

Dancing with him now, under the sticky heat of the tail end of Texan summer, surrounded by family and friends, he makes you feel as if it’s only the two of you again like it was for every other moment before with this same song.

In your ear, he sings along only for you, pulling away and twirling you as y’all take over the entire dancefloor with how free and loose you’re playing it. “You’re still the one that makes me laugh…still the one that’s my better half…we’re still havin’ fun and you’re still the one.”

At the next chorus, you join him in singing along, laughing at his excitement, both of you singing along louder. The song reaches the guitar solo, and Joel takes both of your hands, swinging you out from his chest before pulling you back in; he spins you to cross your arms in front of you, and your back to his chest before twirling you out. On the last line, when the final word is dragged out, he wraps his arms around you, spinning both of you around until the final chord strikes, setting you down and chests heaving to catch your breaths. Wide smiles still find your open mouths, cheers and whistles from the guests gathered around the dancefloor, now filling the checkered floor as the next song plays.

Breathless, Joel grins madly, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly before asking, “Think we did pretty damn good for unplanned, don’t you, Miller?”

“Damn right, we did, Miller.”

The rest of the evening was all the same, a night spent with your closest family and friends all celebrating the two of you and your love. Both you and Joel shared a dance with Sarah separately, relishing in her unbridled joy and Joel comforted his daughter when she shed a few tears about how happy she was. Your dad pulled you for a short jaunt around the dancefloor, and Joel asked your mom for a dance, which she accepted happily as a stand-in for his mom.

More drinks flowed into glasses and out of bottles, your shoes kicked off and Joel’s jacket and tie discarded onto the back of a chair somewhere. Your cheeks ached from how much you were smiling and laughing the whole time, a weight lifted, the promise of forever with your favorite person now on its way to being a reality.

You both ceremoniously cut the small single-tiered cake that your mom ordered, serving the slice on a plate. Grabbing a piece with your hands, you cheers it with Joel’s, watching as his went into his mouth and laughing as yours went across his cheek. He feigned shock, shaking his head as he looked at you with a glint of mischief in his eyes, taking a step closer. A turn on the ball of your foot directs you in an attempt to get away; failing miserably, misstepping from your level of drunkenness, Joel catches you in his arms. Turning you back around to face him, he steals a purposefully sloppy kiss, buttercream smearing against your lips and chin, the taste of vanilla coating your tongue as it melts into the taste of Joel, whiskey, beer, and sugary sweetness from the dessert.

At the very end of the night, most guests in cabs home or retreat to their homes down the street, it’s left to your closest people. The last song of the night is announced by Chris, the same song that has come up again and again for the two of you trilling over the speakers. Everyone dances and sings along to American Pie, the perfect cyclical moment for the two of you, and the closing moment of your summer. Sarah dances with the two of you, laughing as Joel twirls her around, infectious smiles on their faces. 

Your heart grows in your chest, nearly to the point of bursting as you take a step back in your mind, taking in all of the moment as it surrounds you. In the backyard of your new house, the next chapter of your life starts with Joel and Sarah; right next door is your childhood home, full of love and memories with your parents and brother. Even through the hardships, these places and people have never stopped feeling like home.

The song finishes with a flourish, Joel tucking you into his chest after he scoops Sarah into his arms with a soft groan. Sarah lays her head on her dad drowsily and he presses a kiss to her forehead, mirroring the same on yours; a mumble against your skin is barely heard by you, his drawl exaggerated by the liquor, “Mi Mariposa y mariposita. My lil’ Bug. Love my girls so much.”

Tommy slides sleepy Sarah into his arms from Joel after you two say goodnight to her, the younger Miller brother already prepared the arrangement for her to stay at his on the night of your wedding. You reassure her the promise to meet at Waffle House in the morning, which will likely be the afternoon with the state of the adults. Maria, the designated driver, and Tommy, much closer to sober than drunk than you were expecting, send another congratulations your way before they’re off to the car with Sarah.

After the necessary sweep of cleaning is done between you two and your immediate family, food, drink, and lanterns gathered, they part ways, taking everything back to theirs to deal with in the morning along with striking down the tables, chairs, and dancefloor. In the quiet of the early morning hours, you and Joel stand with your arms around each other, swaying gently. Cheek to chest, Joel’s voice rasps from overuse, vibrating your ear pressed against him, “Was it what you wanted, sweet girl?”

“Everything and more, J. I loved it,” you say as you pull your head away, tilting your chin to look into his eyes, “And I love you, m’husband.”

“I love you more, m’wife.” He shakes his head, biting a smile back, “Don’t think m’ever gonna get tired of callin’ you that, Mari.”

“Me neither. Gonna be callin’ you my husband instead of usin’ your name,” you flirt as your smirk grows and he wiggles his eyebrows, hand drifting down to the curve of your ass.

“Guess we better test that theory, baby.” He grins as he bends his knees, lifting you over his shoulder. His other hand rests on your ass to balance you, your hands pressing against his lower back as you shriek slightly from the initial shock. “Want the whole neighborhood to know m’your husband now. Even if they weren’t invited, so you better be loud, m’gorgeous wife.”

He walks you both up the stairs and through the backdoor, your snort echoing in the quiet of the night, pulling out the ol’ faithful from the early days with him, “Yes, sir.”

second nature

“What do you think about getting a dog?” you ask from your seat on the bed, propped up against the headboard with a book in your lap. Joel pops his head out from the en-suite, brow quirked as he continues to towel off his hair and laugh softly.

“Can’t say I’ve thought about it, darlin’.” He disappears again, hanging his towel on the back of the door before coming back out of the bathroom with a clean pair of boxers on, washed up from his long day on-site. “Have you been thinking about getting a dog?”

A sheepish grin stretches across your face, shrugging your shoulders as Joel gets into bed. He matches your position, leaning back against the headboard and turning his head toward you. He’s intrigued. If he wasn’t, he’d tell you that you could talk about it more in the morning, and then he would give you his honest opinion in the light of day. Never wanting to start a silly argument before bed, always attempting to keep the peace.

Which made him great at compromising. To what you wanted in the first place.

“I’ve been thinking it would be nice for Sarah. Like something to learn responsibility — teaching her to feed it on schedule and take it for walks and fill the water bowl.”

“Yeah, it’ll teach her that I’ll take on all those responsibilities when she gets bored of it,” your husband snorts at his own comment, making you roll your eyes playfully and scoot closer.

“Oh, c’mon, J. Don’t you think it would be fun to have a dog around? We wouldn’t even need to get a puppy if you think it’s too much. But I work at home nannying baby Amelia so I’d be around all day and then when Sarah gets home from school or camp, she can take him or her for a walk. And then feed it before you even get home. Oh! Or you could take the dog to work with you! How cute would that be, you could train him to grab your tools for you.” 

A contagious smile brightens your face in the low lamplight, one that Joel can’t help but mirror on his own face. The eagerness is evident in your expression and your voice, and the proposition doesn’t seem like it would be too difficult of an adjustment. Shaking his head at your suggestions, he laughs quietly while reaching a hair up to smooth your hair away from your face.

“Are you gonna be the one to teach it what all the different screwdrivers are?” 

An excited gasp exhales and you scramble to straddle Joel’s lap, “Wait, are you serious? You’re actually okay with getting a dog?”

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you lean back to look at his face. His hands find the curve where your thighs melt into your ass, squeezing gently. Always handsy.

“Yeah, baby, we can get a dog.” Joel groans dramatically when you pull yourself tight against him, hugging him while on hand rubs back and forth at the base of your spine. “I’ve got some conditions though.”

Unraveling from his neck, you stay perched in his lap, nodding fervently. “Anything. Whatever you want, if it means we get a dog.”

“Oh, anything?” he teases with another squeeze of your bum, laughing when you shoot him a look.

“Not what I meant, Miller. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“Can’t help it with you, sweet girl. My mind’s always in the gutter around you.” The sentiment is punctuation with a tender kiss to your lips and one to your forehead. Calloused palms skate along your bare thighs, humming contently, “Conditions are: has to be a big dog. Don’t want one of those little white dogs or like something that’ll break if we have babies and they’re a little rough with it.”

The forethought he has for your future children warms your heart, and you agree immediately, “Deal. Didn’t want a little dog anyways. What else?”

“Gotta fence in the backyard. I don’t mind putting in a gate for us and your parents to easily go back and forth through, but I don’t want the chance of the dog gettin’ out when we’re all outside.”

“Totally understandable. I’ll even help you install the fence,” you offer proudly.

“That’s real sweet, Mari baby, thank you. You don’t gotta lift a finger though, I’ll bring some of the guys over and pay a little extra and we’ll get it done in a day, no problem.”

“Alright, so big dog, fence. Anything else you’d like to negotiate, Mr. Miller?” you mock a formal tone, turning your nose up. Joel laughs, tightening his arms around your waist and tugging you closer. Kisses press into your neck and along your jaw, pausing inches away from your lips as he makes his final request.

“Dog sleeps in Sarah’s room or downstairs. I like our privacy.” He smirks before kissing you deeply, easily flipping you onto your back and hovering above you. Your legs hook around his waist and he raises his eyebrows, “That all sound fair to you, Mariposa?”

“Absolutely it does. Guess we’re getting a dog, ri—” You’re cut off by his lips on yours again, pressing you further into the mattress with his body weight.

“Let’s save the rest of this for the morning,” Joel mumbles against your skin as he trails his mouth down your neck to your collarbone, “‘Cause right now, I think I’d rather get some pussy.”

He doubles over in laughter at his own joke, forehead pressing against your chest as his shoulders heave. Your fingers comb into his hair, unable to fight quiet chuckles of your own no matter how hard you try to not give him the satisfaction.

“God, you’re such a dork.”

The clock rolls to 3pm as you sit in your car, lined up along with parents of campers. Shrills of laughter and screams echo from the bright, primary-colored playground across the way, counselors attempting to corral the kids to lead them out for pick-up. Air conditioning blasts on you as you fan at the back of your neck, exhaling in the sweltering Texan heat. It’s only the beginning of summer, June barely having turned over, but the temperatures have reached record highs for the year already.

Your stepdaughter. The thought still makes you smile months on, the dynamic between the two of you falling naturally into a closer, more nurturing relationship. Little acknowledgments from Sarah have made your heart sing over the days; routinely saying goodnight to you along with Joel, asking you for permission to go play outside, seeking you out nearly as much as Joel when she has had a nightmare. The pair of you have built routines of your own before bed, you making a promise to Sarah to read with her and to show her your favorite books from when you were her age.

A few nights ago, Sarah had retreated with you to her room, at least thirty minutes before her bedtime to get in another chapter of Matilda by Roald Dahl. The main character reminded you of Sarah’s sweet and spunky personality, and you were so excited that she fell in love with the story and its characters as quickly as you did when you read it for the first time.

Sat up against her headboard, Sarah laid back in your arms and cracked open the novel where her bookmark stuck out, started to read aloud to you in the low lamplight. Mindlessly, you played with her hair as you listened to her confidently recite the words from the page. The day caught up to you, the peaceful moment pulled a yawn from your lungs. Sarah’s words slowed down, her eyes slowly blinking until they closed, which was your queue to slip the book from her hands and mark the spot, and laid it on her nightstand.

When you tried to slip out from behind her to leave her to sleep soundly, she stirred, mumbling the sweetest, “Will you stay for a little bit, Posey?”

And you had no choice but to oblige her request. After getting comfortable next to her, Sarah curled into your side and you pressed a kiss to her forehead, continued to play with her hair to soothe her back to sleep.

What you hadn’t realized was that you also drifted off in her twin bed with her, the lamp still on. Joel was watching TV downstairs, waiting for you to retreat down the steps as you do every night, but no sign of you after an hour had him standing up to go searching. It was quiet when he reached the top of the stairs, no telling giggles or loud whispers to give the two of you away. 

He pushed open the cracked door of Sarah’s bedroom, and was met with a sight that squeezed his heart tight, a sigh exhaled from his lungs. You tucked right next to his little one, and both slept deeply. Without disturbing your rest, he tiptoed over to the nightstand, tugged the blanket up over both of you before he hovered above the bed to press a gentle kiss to each of your foreheads. 

Lamp clicked off, he whispered to your unconscious ears, “G’night, girls. Love you two.”

It was a few hours before your usual alarm when you’d woken up, sore from the small space and glanced around the dark room to discover you had fallen asleep next to Sarah. Carefully slipped out from the covers, you tucked her back in and padded down the hall to your bedroom where Joel was sleeping, a soft snore came from him as he’d starfished out on the mattress. You gently shook him half awake to move him, and he groaned softly at the disruption before he tugged you into his chest and pressed a drowsy kiss to your shoulder.

“Was jus’ too cute to wake you up, Mari baby. My Mariposa and my lil’ Bug…” He hummed sleepily into your skin, hand gently rubbed circles in your lower belly while your eyes close, desperate for those last few hours of slumber. “Makes me so happy.”

“Me too, J. M’so, so happy she’s that comfortable with me. My baby best friend. And you’re my big baby best friend…” You breathed out an airy giggle and Joel protested weakly behind you, a gentle pinch to your side before you both exchanged a quick “love you” and drifted right back off.

The reminder of the sweet moment in the morning from Joel was the highlight of your week.

Climbing out of the car, the engine running and door open, you round the front bumper and stand on the curb to wait. You find her before she finds you, calling out to her to grab her attention, “Hey, sweet pea!”

Her familiar deep brown irises search for the source of your voice, landing on your face and waving excitedly. Sarah checks out with her counselor for the day, scurrying over to you with her backpack bouncing at her shoulders.

“Hi, Posey!”

She collides with your torso, her growth spurts finally starting over the last few months so the top of her head hits just at your chest, and nearly knocks the wind out of you. Patting her back, you laugh and pull her back to look her in the face, “Well, hello to you too, Sare Bear. How was camp today? You ready to go?”

After your greetings, she climbs into the backseat on the opposite side of Amelia’s car seat. You store her bag in the passenger seat with yours before retreating around to the driver’s side, heading off once both of you are secured in your seatbelts.

Flicking your eyes up in the rearview mirror, the two of you catch up, which mostly consists of her recapping the camp activities and excitedly talking about the pool day that’s planned for Friday. As you turn onto your street, Sarah’s brow furrows at the sight of Joel’s truck in the driveway.

“Dad’s home already? That’s weird.”

“Hm, I guess he is. Or maybe he’s just stopped by to grab something he forgot. You know how he is.”

Sarah laughs in agreement as you park your car next to his truck. Both of you get out and head in through the garage, straight into the kitchen where Joel’s standing at the counter eating a sandwich.

“Told you, Sare, stopped by ‘cause he forgot something. Lunch.” You send him a teasing grin as you deposit Sarah’s bag by the door and kick off your sandals. She does the same before wandering past her dad to the fridge in search of a snack. Apple doesn’t fall far.

“What? I can’t happen to drop in hoping to see my wife and my daughter in the middle of my work day? Do I have to have ulterior motives?” Joel speaks, words muffling around the bite in his mouth as you approach the island to stand opposite him.

“Dad, you literally always ask ‘What’s for dinner?’ or ‘What’s cookin’?’ after you say hi to us every day. Your motivation is always to get some food,” Sarah chimes in from in front of the fridge, laughing when Joel looks at her offended.

“See? Even a ten year old recognizes the pattern of behavior,” you confirm your findings, laughing as Joel grumbles to himself and pops the last bite of his sandwich in his mouth.

“Well, for your information, both of you, I am here for an entirely different reason than lunch and to see you two.” He crosses his arms in front of his chest, looking between the two of you with a mischievous smile on his face. “Why don’t y’all go look in the living room and then tell me if you wanna keep makin’ fun of Dad?”

Sarah excitedly starts off toward the living room, giddy about the surprise awaiting her. Your brow furrows and lips twist up in curiosity, eyes staying glued to Joel. He laughs and nods to the other room, a bright smile on his face.

“Better go see, mi amor. Think you’ll want to meet him.” Joel winks, your attention being pulled away when you both hear Sarah gasp from the living room.

“Oh my gosh! Posey, come here! Aw!”

That’s when it registers — the surprise, home in the middle of the day, the smirk, ‘you’ll want to meet him’.

“You didn’t,” you breathe out, head snapping back to Joel as he gives you a wide, genuine grin.

“Go! See for yourself.” He rounds the island and grabs your hips from behind, guiding your steps into the living room. Sarah’s giggles fill the room as the fluffy Bernese Mountain puppy stands in her lap and licks at her face. The small dog’s attention is pulled from her and over to you and Joel entering the room, a tiny bark sounding before he scampers over.

“Joel, oh my god, how did you—when—oh my god…” You kneel down to scoop up the little one into your arms and cuddle it gently, giving it pets before letting him run around again.

“Found someone who had a litter with their family dogs the day after we talked about it. And arranged to pick him up. They said he’s the energetic one, and that he’s gonna be a big boy. Like a hundred pounds.”

“Oh my god, he’s so sweet…thank you, J.” You beam up at him, waving him to bend down and steal a kiss, squeezing his shoulder.

Sarah’s playing with your new family dog, tugging with a rope toy as he fights back with his whole little body. “Thank you, Dad. He’s so cute!”

“What should we name him?” Joel asks as he lowers himself to the floor next to you, smiling as the puppy runs over. The two rough house, Joel easily flipping him over to scratch at his belly as the dog pants happily.

“Any ideas, Sare?” you ask, looking over at her.

She thinks for a moment before looking up between Joel and you, laughing at the tiny pup’s antics, “What about Goose? He just seems like one. Like a silly goose.”

“Goose? I like it, Bug,” Joel confirms, turning to you with a grin, “How about you, Mari?”

Nodding, you look at the new addition to the family, burning bright with happiness at your people’s excitement, “I think Goose is a perfect fit. And now you’re not outnumbered anymore, J. Two girls and two boys in the Miller household.”

Sarah laughs and lays down to cuddle with Goose while Joel moves closer to your side, wrapping an arm around you and kissing your head as he quietly whispers, “Hopefully won’t be too long before the boys are outnumbered again.”

“And what makes you say it won’t be us girls being outnumbered?”

“Call it father’s intuition. Wouldn’t know what to do with a little boy, bein’ a dad to another girl would just be second nature. Plus, I would want a mini Mari running around the world.” Joel presses a kiss to your temple before you turn your head, catching his pursed lips with yours sweetly.

“I’d take anything if it means havin’ a little piece of you forever, J.”

third time lucky

Negative.

A single line, bold and brash, stares back at you. Turning the plastic in your hands, you attempt to read it at different angles, the smallest bit of hope lingering for another line to appear — that it was a trick of the light that was causing your disappointment.

To no avail, the blue strip remains unaccompanied in the small window. A sinking feeling fills your body from your toes up. Everything feels heavier, except your lower stomach. That has never felt as empty as it is now.

Heavy footsteps thump a vibration in the floors, but your focus remains on a speck of dust floating in the light past your field of vision. His presence hangs in the bedroom, milling about, unknowing of what you were up to before he came in from mowing the lawn.

“Hey, baby, m’gonna take a shower and then we’ve got Sarah’s softball game at three. Probably half to leave here around two, her coach asked all the parents to be thirty minutes early for some reason…” Joel’s voice fades in your head as your thoughts start to yell, scream, fight, taunt inside of your mind.

A hard swallow pops your ears, the ringing in them growing louder as your mind begins to wander. The test is left discarded on the bathroom counter, with no heart yet to throw it in the garbage where the others have ended up. Your bare feet shuffle against the rug as you seek out solace under covers, even in the ninety-plus-degree heat. The springs of the mattress shift under your weight, lying on your side facing the opposite side of the bed that lays empty right now. The coverlet is pulled up over you, curling your fingers at the hem tightly, white knuckle grip to release some of the tension that has taken over your mind. You want to scream, cry, yell, question — but what you want most of all is to be able.

Why aren’t you able? Why can’t you do what your body is made to do, what it begs for, what it reminds you that you’ve failed at every month?

Joel stands in observation of you, careful distance, one hand lifting before he drops it. He can guess what this is about. What you’ve left behind in the en-suite. But to confirm his suspicions, he quietly walks into the tiled room, leaving his clean clothes on the counter while he picks up the test.

Negative.

His body sinks, toes up to his head, but with a gaping, empty feeling in his chest. There’s so much room left in his heart, room he is eager to fill with another part of you, another love, another soul to protect. Now, though, all of his emptiness is filled with an ache for you. You’ve been dreaming out loud for a year now, wonderings and visions shared with him late nights and early mornings — Will they have his eyes? You hope so, so that they look like their sister. Who’s ears would they have? What quirks will they pick up from both of you? Who will they grow up to be? How will we be able to contain our love for both of our kids?

Our kids. Joel remembers that night; after you said that, he couldn’t hold himself back, couldn’t contain his love for you. No hesitation that his own was yours now, too. All he wanted was to give you another, to see your belly grow and your smile brighten and your skin glow. He was begging for whatever power was in the universe for that time to take, for both of you to be gifted with what you wished for so often, so deeply.

Desperation. Wavering confidence. Sorrow, worry, dwindling hope. He saw it all over you, time after time when the single line appeared on the plastic sticks.

You and Joel had been trying for a year. A long year. Maybe your desire was too strong, too overpowering. But shouldn’t that be a sign of your love? For each other, for your family? All he wants to do is give you the life you’ve wished for. And yes, all you’ve said you want is a life with him, but anyone who meets you would be able to tell you are meant for a nurturing life. Meant for motherhood.

It was already natural for you, taking a ten-year-old in stride, making her into your best friend — making her a priority over Joel most of the time. He knew it didn’t matter to you that she wasn’t yours, biologically speaking, but he can’t help but want to give you a child that is part you. How badly he wants another piece of you in the world, all of your goodness packaged into the purest soul.

Resigning with a sigh, he sets the test down on the cool countertop and exits the bathroom, a slow stride over to your lying form. Crumpled under covers. With a soft groan, he lowers himself to his knees with cracks popping his joints. His age is starting to show the closer he gets to forty and the more hours he works in the summer weather, another looming factor for him — he’s only known being a young dad. If you two have to wait, what would it be like to be nearly sixty when your kid graduates high school?

Shaking the superficial concerns from his head, his wide palm glides along the quilted fabric draped over your side. He rests his chin on his opposite arm, laying against the mattress close to your pillow. At the coax of his touch, you turn over to face him. Lips pursed in a frown, dried watery streaks being washed anew with your fresh tears, fat and rolling down your cheeks and over the bridge of your nose. They drip off of your skin, dotting and darkening the fabric of the pillowcase underneath you.

Joel leans in, brushing your hair from your face and pressing his lips to your forehead for a lingering kiss. A deep breath draws the smell of your shampoo into his nose, down deep into his lungs where it soothes his aching chest.

“Mari, sweet girl, I know it’s hard. I know we want it so bad, but there’s always another option,” he speaks softly, kindly, delicately, “We can go to that fertility specialist your doctor recommended. I promise, mi amor, we’ll have a baby together.”

He means it, and you can tell he means it. Ever since you had been back together, ever since he confessed his feelings for you — years ago now — he hasn’t made an empty promise. From tiny little things like a pledge to stop on the way home for your favorite ice cream, going to three different stores and adding nearly an hour to his day simply to show up with it for you, to larger, grander oaths, his wedding vows, the promise of building a beautiful life with you.

Emotion is thick in your throat as you attempt to vocalize your concerns. They keep you up at night, with Joel’s warm and expansive hand resting on your stomach right above your womb as he sleeps soundly. He wants it clearly as much as you do; you can feel it each time you’ve tried. How badly he wants to provide this for you.

Is he having the same thoughts as you? Does he wonder if something’s ‘wrong’ with you?

“I wanna be able to do it. Why can’t I do it on my own?” The sound of your meek voice shatters his heart and he shakes his head back and forth, adamant in shutting down the thoughts.

Tugging the covers down, Joel’s hands find your exposed skin, sliding across with a clammy touch from his labor outside. And nerves, too, you’d guess. Moving from his knees on the floor next to the bed, he finds a spot sitting at your side and shifts you to lay on your back. Opening up to him. Warmth rests over your womb, blanket pulled down to the tops of your thighs while his thumb brushes at your stomach, catching on the fabric of your shirt.

“No—oh, mi Mariposa, you don’t even know if it would be you with an issue. Very well could be me. Maybe breathin’ all the paint fumes at work killed m’little swimmers.” He breathes a small laugh through his nose, attempting to lighten the mood.

Your hands fly up to your face, muffling your voice, “Oh, god, don’t say that. I wanna have your baby, not some sperm donors.”

His hand coasts up your torso, over to your side to wrap around your rib cage, feeling your breaths as his fingertips lightly tickle the spot, “That was supposed to make you laugh, sweet girl.” 

Hands falling away from your face, your brow pinches together and your frown deepens. About to make a retort, your mouth open, Joel skates the fingertips of both his hands up and down your sides, alternated on each side of you to make it harder to catch his wrists. Laughter bubbles up from your chest, your frown morphing into a flashing smile before you’re calling for a surrender in between gasping breaths.

Relenting, his hands stop, settling at the curve of your waist. He leans over you, nudging his nose against yours before pressing a ghosting kiss to your lips. A small grin, hopeful and reassuring, with a tinge of worry flickering in his irises, barely there before his smile reaches his eyes, “It’ll happen for us, Mari baby. Why don’t we say, one last go before lookin’ into the doctors? We’ll do all the things, track whatever we need to track. I’ll drop whatever I need to come home and put a baby in you.”

Joel wiggles his eyebrows, playful smirk crossing his expression. You roll your eyes under him, pushing an accusing finger into his chest, “Like you don’t already do that. I could call you in the middle of work and just go ‘Hey, J’ and you’re in the truck on your way home.”

“That’s right, Mari. As it should be. Y’know what they say — happy wife, happy life.” Another kiss to your lips, this one a bit more savoring. “What d’ya say, mi amor? One more go?”

“Okay, yeah. One more go.”

Butterflies kick up in your stomach when you hear the low rumble of Joel’s truck cut, heavy door swinging closed and quick strides following. The front door opens after a short jingle of keys, shutting behind him with the slide of the lock back into place. Distant grumbles of his make you laugh, his frustrations with his work boots floating upstairs to where you’re sitting on the edge of your bed, leaning back on your hands. Clad in only your bra and panties, you work your bottom lip between your teeth as anticipation builds with each of Joel’s footsteps up the carpeted stairs.

You both only have the afternoon — less than an hour of your afternoon, actually — to make your last attempt. Already having taken advantage of the window in your cycle twice, the peak day of your ovulation fell, of course, during the busiest time of year for Miller Construction. Summer has come to a close, and now people have picked up their home improvements to start nesting for the winter; a craving you’ve been having yourself, desperate to make your home larger and livelier by one more. Joel has snuck away for a moment that you two have alone, and you’ve told the couple you nanny for that you have an immovable appointment for today.

Pretty sure the only thing that will be immovable today will be you once Joel’s hour is up.

 “Mari? Mi amor?” he calls out and you chuckle softly at the boyish excitement in his voice.

“In the bedroom, J!”

Joel rounds the doorway into your shared room, stopping a handful of steps past the threshold when he registers the sight of you. He hums a low moan, licking his lips as his eyes devour your lacy undergarments, “Mierda, mi esposa, estás tratando de matarme? (Shit, my wife, are you trying to kill me?) You look so fucking beautiful, darlin’.”

A low whistle leaves his lips as he stalks closer, eyes rake over your form as you present your primped self for his taking.

“You get all pretty for me, sweet girl? I like this…” he rasps as he’s within arm’s reach now, stretching a hand out to toy with the strap of your bra and snapping it against your skin sharply.

“Wanted to look pretty when you fill me up, J.” One curl of his finger under your chin draws you to sit up straight, tilting your head back to look at Joel towering over you.

“Good girl,” he praises, a glint of excitement in his eyes, “You want me to fill up your sweet little cunt, Mariposa? Want me to give you a baby? Tell me.”

“Yes,” you breathe out shakily, eyelids fluttering closed as his hands trail lightly across your exposed skin, ghosting everywhere you need him most.

“More, sweetheart. Dime. Dime cuánto lo deseas. Suplicar por ello. (Tell me. Tell me how badly you want it. Beg for it.)” His instructions float through your head, only keywords translating in while Joel leaves over you, lips pressing feather-light kisses along your neck, across your chest.

“I need it, Joel. Need you so fucking bad, I wanna have your baby. Want you to make me a mom, fill me up as many times as it takes until we get our baby…please, J…” As if the taste of you wasn’t enough to do him in, the wild, fervent look in your eyes intrigues him beyond. Hearing the words from your lips, directed to him, he’s fucking aching. He was growing hard on his way over here, the thoughts swimming through his mind of you laid out and ready for him to take delegating his blood supply to rush down below his belt.

He needs you, but first, he needs to see you unraveling underneath him only from his fingers.

“Don’t worry your pretty little mind, Mari. M’gonna take care of you. I’ll make sure this one takes. Let’s call it third time lucky this summer.” 

He shoots you a wink, your mouth parting to respond. Before you can let any breath escape, his lips are crashing with yours. Heavy, heady, and so fucking hot it spirals your thoughts into nothing. His tongue melts with yours, the taste of his black coffee and the donut he must have eaten at work this morning tingling your taste buds. Sweat sticks to his skin when your hands rest at the sides of his neck, falling backwards as he climbs over you. He smells of wood shavings, freshly mowed grass, and hard work — calloused hands gliding along your body and feeling the softest of scratches of his blue collar hands.

“Joel, need you — please.” It’s more of a whine than a begging whimper, rising frustration levels from his lack of touch in the place you need and want him the most. 

Your cunt is desperate, dripping down your folds and surely soaking the sheets. A quick jerk of your hips attempts to brush against him, to catch any relief for the need building low in your stomach. A large palm presses your lower half back against the mattress, the other hand pushing your leg to the side to open you up further for him. A knuckle brushes your clit, grazing up and down your seam through your soaked panties. Your husband clicks his tongue as he shakes his head at you, patronizing tone slick in his voice.

“Darlin’, I wanna take every second of my time with you. Are you gonna let me? Gonna let me get your cunt squeezing my fingers? Gonna let me fill you up, mi amor?” he asks, as if you wouldn’t say yes to all of those requests and he knows it. Nodding, a desperate yes exhaled when he applies more pressure with his finger against your clit, rubbing slow circles. “Good girl. Siempre tan bueno para mí. (Always so good for me.)”

Joel folds over your, taking one of your perked nipples into his mouth through your bra and sucking. His tongue flattens against the cup before he’s pulling at the nub with his teeth. The material is darkened where his mouth was when he grows a bit more needy, grabbing at the straps and yanking the bra to rest at your midsection. You slip your arms out of the straps and he pushes you further onto the bed by the back of your thighs, stripping your panties off and settling on his knees.

Pressure forms against your clit from two of his fingers, slow circles dragging a moan from your throat. Joel smirks, satisfied with the way you squirm under him, trying and failing to get more from his hands. Before you can vocalize a whine, Joel is over you again, bringing his attention to your now bare breast while the circles continue. Hot, humid kisses are littered on the soft skin, happy hums rolling from Joel’s chest. He pulls his head up, looking down at your chest with a half grin and his dimple on display.

“You’re gonna get so soft and swollen everywhere, Mariposa. Round belly, huge tits—can’t wait to play with ‘em.” His grin widens, boyish and brazen with the glee that the fact fills him with. “You gonna let me, baby? Gonna let me make your sore tits feel better with my mouth?”

His question goes unanswered as his mouth attaches to one of your nipples, sucking and flattening his tongue as he nurses it. Pulling away with a pop, he mimics the same on the other side, the intensity of his suckling along with his fingers rubbing faster against your clit — even slipping down to tease at your entrance — has you wiggling under him, desperation notching up your spine.

“Joel, please,” you plead, choking on your breath when he pulls the bud of your breast between his teeth, a low growling sound rumbling from his throat. 

Two of his thick fingers push into your dripping cunt, a relieved moan echoing against the walls of the bedroom. Curling up into your spongy walls, they thrust quickly and pet at the certain spot inside of you. Joel’s mouth is still at your chest, his hunger feeding itself on the taste of your skin.

“Fuck, Mari, gonna break my fucking fingers off. So fucking tight.”

A distraught whimper crawls from your chest, breaths heaving as your walls clench around his quick-paced fingers. You gasp when he slips a third one in, hooking them up. Despite the stretch, you still feel an emptiness. All you want is his cock inside of you, spilling into you and leaving you to grow fuller with his baby. The thoughts of him above you, fucking it all deeper into you to reach your womb, drive you over the edge. The tips of his fingers press against that spot inside of you, his warm mouth hanging open at your tit while his eyes watch you come undone. Writhing and walls pulsing around his fingers, his name falls from your mouth as you choke out moans and your vision grows dark.

“That’s it, Mari baby, fuck,” Joel works you through the orgasm before his fingers leave you and he sits back on his haunches. Sucking his digits clean of your slick and come, the other hand rubs your thigh gently before he coos down at you, “That was a big one, wasn’t it? Feel good?”

Still coming down from it all, your body feels liquidity, taking whatever form Joel is molding you into right now after he’s stripped himself bare. One hand slips under you, unclasping your bra and tugging it away from your torso, leaving you as naked as him. His eyes drink in your body while his grip holds your calves, chuckling darkly when you finally breathe out a response, “I feel…like I need you to put a baby in me.”

“Cualquier cosa para usted, mi esposa. Vas a estar tan lleno de mí. Te encanta la sensación de mi mecos dentro de ti, ¿verdad? (Anything for you, my wife. You're going to be so full of me. You love the feeling of my cum inside of you, don't you?)” Your head rolls with a nod, agreeing to anything Joel says in the moment, still hazy from how hard he’d made you come moments ago. Half-lidded eyes watch as he licks his fingers, stroking his cock a few times with a quiet sigh. That’s something you could watch all day — Joel’s pleasure. And here underneath him, you have the perfect view, and the perfect position to be used for it.

Fully handing over control to him, his hands tug you up so your ass sits on his thighs while he’s on his knees. Fingertips skate along the distance of your legs, grabbing at your calves to rest them on his broad shoulders. Even the slightest shift forward from his hips stretches you wide, a delicious ache creating a craving for more.

“Tell me how bad you want it, Mari, tell me how much you wanna have my baby.”

Joel’s gripping his length, rubbing his tip through your wet folds. The notches against your clit quiver the already stretched muscles in your thighs, whines replacing words coming out of your mouth.

“Tell me, or I won’t give you what you want, mi amor.”

“I want it so bad, J. I wanna feel you fuck me so full of you, and I don’t want that feeling to leave. I feel like there’s an emptiness and only you can fill it, I want your baby. Wanna have everyone know how good I am for you, carrying your baby like you want me to. I wanna have a part of you forever,” you gasp out the last word, Joel’s cock inching into you. Muscle memory takes over, your whole body relaxing with the knowledge that he’ll take care of you — he’ll always take care of you.

Joel bottoms out easily, filling you to the hilt before he pauses to take a breath. His eyes meet yours and he smiles, sweet and sincere, while holding your shins, “I fucking love you, mi Mariposa. Wanna give you a baby…”

“Pleasepleaseplease—” You don’t know if you’re begging more for him to give you what you want or to move his hips, but in the end, you get both. 

Joel starts out slow, shallow thrusts keeping him inside of you. Grunts from the controlled movements fill the room, your small whimpers following each noise he makes. The sound of him fucking into your cunt captures his attention, gaze zeroed in on where you two meet. Watching the stretch of your tight pussy around his cock, he feels the burning desire for more. To watch you take it deeper, harder.

The next snap of his hips is just that - smacking his skin against your ass before he adjusts, laying you back completely on the mattress and leaning over you. Your legs are still hooked over his shoulders, the burning of your muscles now straining your hamstrings and glutes. His entire body folds you, his head hovering over yours as he fucks into you further. The tip of his cock kisses your womb, the force of his thrusts driving your hips open more for him.

“Gonna — fuck — gonna make you a momma, Mariposa. That what you want? Get fucked so well, be so full of me that we make a baby? Everybody’s gonna know I treat my wife right. With your round belly…swollen—ah—swollen tits. Gonna be so beautiful, and so fucking sensitive everywhere.”

His words only add onto the feeling of his thick cock filling you up, nearly verging on too far and too much. Moans exhale on your lips, his name repeated like a chant with each harsh snap of him into you. Your hands scramble for purchase as his sheer power drives you up the mattress, sheets scratching against your bare back. One set of fingers dig into the meaty flesh of his shoulder, nails pressing crescent shapes like an iron-hot branding.

Above you, Joel studies how your mouth has fallen open, thoughts completely left your mind with how cockdrunk you are. He gingerly grips your chin, holding it to face him and commanding your eyes to his as he pants heavily.

“What d’you wanna make me, baby?” It’s only met with the sounds of his cock dragging in and out of you, the slap of skin as you gasp under him. “C’mon, Mari baby, use your words.”

“A daddy,” you breathe out, your opposite hand combing into his messy curls and gripping tight.

“Say it again. Dime.” Not thinking it was possible, Joel pushes you further, hitting into you harder with each thrust nudging his tip toward your cervix. You might only leave this afternoon with soreness, but you continued to hold out hope for a baby to be the well-worth prize for how you’re going to feel tomorrow.

“A daddy!”

“Dime. Dime. Dime,” he commands and you listen, writhing under him as he hacks away at your shared resolve, throwing you closer and closer to the edge.

“Daddy — oh, fuck, a daddy. Wanna make you a daddy!” You’re yelling at this point, sobs of pleasure wracking your body and you thank god for a split second that the two of you are home alone in the middle of the work day. Surely the whole block might be hearing all of your wanton sounds.

“God, I could get used to you calling me that, Mari baby,” Joel groans and throws his head back, bearing his teeth as he punches his hips into your clenching pussy, the telltale sign that you’re close.

“C’mon, mi amor, give it to me. Come for me and I’ll let your fucking pussy milk me for every last drop. That’s what you want, right? Gotta fill you up and make a baby for my Mari baby.” He’s rambling as you reach your peak, toes curling and coming even harder than your first one this afternoon. 

A near scream pulls itself from as deep as your gut, the sound as if you were in more pain than the absolute pleasure you feel. Your grip on his hair tightens, drawing him down for a messy kiss as you mumble against his lips.

“Please gimme a baby, J. Need it all inside of me, please. Come for me, mi esposo.” 

The name sends goosebumps across his shoulders and trickles down his spine before he’s barking your name once and spilling into you, painting your walls with each rope. He takes a moment to breathe before he gently presses his hips in a few short thrusts, fucking his spend as far into you as possible.

Joel collapses against your torso, no other efforts exerted to move away. Delicate, nimble touches brush the hair from his sweaty forehead, rubbing his shoulders as he hums contently.

“Fuck, baby, might just have to stay inside. Keep you plugged up so I can stay here all day with you.” Quiet, breathless laughter leaves your lips as you shake your head, tracing along his jaw before he turns his head to press his lips into your tummy.

“Can’t wait for you to be a momma. Gonna be the best one ever, y’already are. Love you so much.”

The two of you lay like that for what feels like hours, only to be reminded of Joel’s limited schedule when his cell starts ringing from downstairs. Getting up with a groan, he slips out of you and lifts your hips, stuffing a pillow or two underneath them to keep your lower half elevated. You roll your eyes at the superstitious gesture, gasping when his fingers push into you once more to put his leaking come back into where it belongs.

“Gotta make sure it takes, pretty girl. Wanna see you get all round with my baby in you. Everybody’ll know how good I am to you, huh? Pumping you full of me so much we made a new fucking life…better stay like this until I get home again, Mari baby. Wanna make sure those lil swimmers get all the help they can get.”

“Mm…” you hum, hands grabbing for him to lean over you again. Sneaking a kiss, you pull away to whisper to him with a grin on your lips, “Better get back to work…daddy.”

He snorts out a laugh, beaming a bright smile as mischief glimmers in his eyes, “Mal. Mala chica. (Bad. Bad girl.)”

Three days late. You’ve been tracking your cycle like a mad woman, ticking off days in the notebook next to your bed, and now you’re officially three days late. Joel and you had agreed to wait a few days after you expected your period, hopeful that the extra time meant a more accurate, and desired, result.

The kitchen timer sitting on Joel’s side of the bed ticks away while you side on the edge of the bed. Tapping your fingers against your thighs, bare skin against your fingertips from the high hem of your denim shorts. Joel paces the room, eyes focused a thousand yards ahead. Anxiety and anticipation had been plaguing both of you all day, work slugging by minute by minute, second by second. Joel had left the jobsite as soon as was acceptable, leaving Tommy to wrap up, and swung by the pharmacy to pick up a new box of tests. Your task for the day was to chug water, or any liquid, all afternoon — by the time Joel was one foot through the door, you were ready to burst. Snatching the bag of tests out of his hand, you ran to the bathroom to pee in a plastic disposable cup and stick at least three tests in.

Now, you two are waiting for more seconds and minutes to tick by, added to the tally of the entire day. As you’re about to stand and stop Joel from burning treads in the area rug from walking his tight circles, a trill of a bell vibrating demands your attention. Turning off the noise in a flash, you stand and cross the room to where your husband is now frozen in place. A gentle touch to his cheek, his eyelids flutter close and he takes a long exhale before opening them again.

“Ready?” you ask, uncertainty pitching your voice up.

A minute nod, one shake of his chin, Joel’s hand finds the small of your back as he responds, “Ready, mi amor.”

His hand guides you into the bathroom, and a handful of steps from the three tests laid out on the counter, you turn around, panic twisting your expression. Joel stumbles to stop his collision with you, large palms grabbing onto your biceps to catch himself.

“M’scared, J…” Your voice is meek, cracking with emotion. This is the last shot you gave yourselves, whatever is laid on the counter either means unbridled joy or a long road of poking and prodding in countless doctors’ offices.

The warmth of his hands rubbing your arms and the press of his lips to your forehead coax you to relax, to take deep breaths, “I know, Mari baby, I would be lyin’ if I said I wasn’t scared too. But no matter what is on those tests, we’re in it together, right sweet girl?”

His index finger hooks under your chin to draw your attention up to his face, a small smile filled with love and reassurance stretching his lips.

“Always in it together, J.” You take another deep breath, turning around and nodding shortly, “Okay, now m’ready.”

“That’s my girl,” he mumbles before he’s following right behind you again, the two of you pressing yourselves to each other against the counter. Joel has an iron grip on your hips, nerves manifesting in the squeezes of his hands. Shaking fingers turn over each test before picking them all up to your lines of vision.

Two lines. Two bold lines screaming at both of you, across all three tests.

Positive.

Positive. You’re pregnant. You and Joel are having a baby.

“Holy shit…” Joel exhales behind you, smile creeping into his voice. Somehow, his grip gets even tighter as he turns you around, “Holy shit! You’re pregnant, Mari. We’re havin’ a baby! You’re gonna be a momma!”

Giddiness overcomes both of you, happy and disbelieving laughter while you hold each other in a tight embrace. Joel litters kisses around your face, catching your lips last — all teeth and tight lipped from your matching grins.

“You’re gonna be a dad again, how’s that feel?”

“Like I won the damn lottery, mi amor.”

Another kiss, supple and heavy. Joel pulls away first and shakes his head, pressing his forehead to yours, “I love you so fucking much, Mari.”

“I love you too, J.”

“You ready to go, Sare?” you ask, standing next to her seat at the kitchen table where she’s working away at her homework, reaching a hand out to play with her curls. She smiles and nods, writing down one last answer to a question on her worksheet before she lays her pencil down and stands up, rushing over toward the door.

“Just gotta get my shoes on!” she calls out, and you smile, shaking your head.

“Take your time, sweet pea! God knows it’s gonna take me longer to walk over to the door.” Your joke falls on deaf ears of your husband, who stands at the kitchen island and rolls his eyes before he’s crossing the room over to you. Within arm’s length, his hands cup the bottom of your large belly, leaning in for a sweet peck.

“Nobody cares if you move slow. Better to be careful than—”

“Careless, yes, I know. I think those might be our baby’s first words since they hear them so much from their dad,” you tease and he shrugs, kissing you again while his touch wanders across the flannel of his that you’re sporting, too tired to buy more maternity clothes that you’ll grow out of and opting for his closet every morning.

“Jus’ looking out for my girls. All three of ‘em.” He beams proudly, brown eyes shining brightly before he turns you in his arms, accompanying you to the front door where your near-teenager is waiting. Ever the sweetheart she is, she’s got your purse slung on her shoulder, car keys in hand to pass off to you. You thank her quietly, turning back to Joel as he looks between the two of you.

“Alright, have fun with your girls’ day. And call if you need anything — either of you. I’ll be waitin’ here for ya.” Joel smooths down Sarah’s hair before kissing the crown of her head; she squirms away, the teenage attitude rearing its head in some early moments, especially with her dad. There’s less patience for him, which you completely understand as a teenage girl once yourself. He huffs out a sigh as she slips out the door, heading down the front path toward your car.

“Hey, s’nothing. Teenage girl things. She loves you, and you’re the best dad.” A hand on his cheek coaxes him down to your lips, a supple kiss exchanged before he pulls away and bends to kiss the top of your belly.

“Bye, my little June Bug.” He stands upright again and steals another kiss, mumbling, “And bye, mi Mariposa. Drive safe, let me know if you need anything while you’re out. I love you.”

“We love you too. And m’speaking for the moody one, too.” Joel chuckles and rubs your bump once more before sending you on your way, watching and waving from the door as y’all drive away.

The plan for today had come about when you started to notice Sarah growing quieter, retreating to her room more often after family dinners and denying the chance at movie night some days. Joel had noticed too, but was a bit nervous to broach it with her, not wanting to make her feel bad about being more independent.

Your relationship with her though was much different to Joel’s. There was the foundation of your caretaking role with her, much more of a friend with authority when it was only you two before you were anything close to a parental figure. More open and, well, you could relate more to what she was going through. She confided in you first about girls at school being catty, about her growing crushes on boys in her grade. And this year, only a month after your due date, she will officially become a teenager. It was a strange time in any girl’s life, full of growing pains.

And on top of all of that, add on a new baby arriving. Attentions drawn elsewhere, priorities shifted to preparing for the baby. Sarah never fell to the backburner in your minds, but you didn’t know how she was feeling. Guessing by her quiet actions, you could tell she was feeling left out but didn’t want to stir up trouble.

Always the sweet girl. And you knew how that was.

So, you’d asked her for a girls’ day, excluding her dad from the fun and giving both of you some time with each other to feel like it was years before. It was all about Sarah today, no mentions of baby — no buying diapers or supplies or clothes. A promise made to yourself to make Sarah feel special, because that is exactly what she was. The baby on the way may be your first biological child, but nothing can compare to the unique bond that you have with your Sare Bear.

The day was spent waddling throughout the mall, helping her pick out new outfits and shoes for the end of the school year. Collecting a haul, you two stopped off for lunch and a trip to the nail salon before you finally made your way back home in the evening. Sarah was smiling brightly in the passenger seat, joking around with you and eagerly telling you all about the latest school drama. Your heart was about to burst with how much she’d come out of her shell again all day, even wanting to show off her new things to her dad when you both got back.

In the living room, Joel greets you two from the couch, eyes widening and a low whistle leaving his lips when he sees the damage done, “Quite some shoppin’ there, Bug. Y’all buy out the whole store?”

You wave him off and encourage Sarah to show off her haul, walking over to settle onto the sofa next to Joel. The younger Miller excitedly starts pulling out pieces and showcasing them, excitedly telling her dad exactly where she plans to wear them. His hand rests on your leg, attention completely focused on his daughter in front of him, squeezing you gently when she gets particularly worked up over something. You can tell he feels what you were in the car, heart bursting that she seems like herself again after a day spent with you.

“That’s nice, Sare Bear. I like the color,” Joel comments on the last shirt Sarah holds up, her smile still beaming as she tosses it back into the bag.

“Thanks, Mom actually picked it out! I thought it would be fun to have for camp this year, since I’m gonna start the counselor training program…” Her voice trails off as Joel listens intently. You, on the other hand, take deep breaths to hold it together, the simple moniker rolling off of Sarah’s tongue so naturally. Your heartbeat thumps in your chest, and baby Miller kicks her feet against your tummy — equally as excited.

You manage to keep it calm while Sarah recaps the rest of the day before she gathers up her shopping bags to take to her room. As she’s leaving the room, she’s quick to run over and give you a hug, leaning down to meet you where you sit on the couch. Your belly sticks out between the two of you, but regardless you pull her into a tight squeeze as she says thank you. Her curls bounce as she scampers off upstairs, the quiet sounds of her feet in the hallway queuing your watery eyes to overflow and for your nose to sniffle. Joel is grinning brightly next to you, pulling you into his lap and holding you against him as he wipes the few happy tears away.

“She called me Mom…” you whisper to your husband, afraid to admit it any louder as if it would disappear.

Joel presses his forehead against yours, a sweet kiss against your lips before he whispers back, “You have no idea how happy it makes me to know she feels that way about you.”

“I just…I feel so lucky. And maybe it’s hormones, but oh my god, I can’t stop blubbering. I’m a mom.”

“You’re the best mom. Have been to Sarah since she met you, and you’re going to be the best mom to our little one on the way.”

June 21st, 2009.

The first day of summer.

It’s the first day of summer and you’re stuck inside. Not at home, no, you’re currently propped up in a hospital bed with your legs in stir-ups, breathing in between contractions. Exhaustion weighs on your body, a full hour passing of you pushing in time with the pain in your abdomen that radiates all over. Sweat sticks your hair to your forehead and Joel sitting next to you brushes it out of the way. His other hand is limp in yours, ready to be squeezed with a vice grip whenever you need to push. Joel leans over you in level with your head, lathering on encouragements.

“You got this, Mari.”

“So strong, baby. You can do it.”

“Thank you, mi amor, thank you thank you thank you.”

The last one comes after a string of complaints against him doing this to you — despite you both knowing you begged for it nine months prior — and for having such a big head in his own baby photos that he had to have passed down to the baby.

Another wave kicks in, your doctor and nurses coaching you to give another final push. Putting every last bit of your energy behind the flex of your muscles, groaning out with pain and frustration before a piercing cry fills the room. Heavy, tiny sobs ring in your ears.

“You did it, baby, m’so proud of you. Our little girl,” Joel says in awe, glancing between you and where the doctor holds your little baby girl, summoning Dad over to cut the cord. 

She’s taken away to be cleaned up and Joel returns to your side, ready to help you attentively through the afterbirth. You wave him off, begging him to go keep an eye on your little girl. Once she’s clean enough, the nurses lay her on your bare chest, the sight of her tiny fingers and toes bringing about your own cries. Your hands hold her there, delicate touches brushing against her soft skin and her damp but full head of dark brown hair.

The rest of the process is painful but smoother, shorter. Before you know it, all tests are done and Joel is next to the bed again, wiping a damp cloth across your forehead.

A rush of adrenaline, pure unfiltered need and excitement to meet your daughter keeps you awake, sitting up carefully as you accept her into your arms from your husband who’s wearing the biggest smile. He sits on the edge of the bed, hand on your leg as you study the features on her small face.

“She’s perfect, isn’t she, Mari? Looks like her momma.”

You beam, shaking your head as you place a fingertip against her nose, “See, I think she looks like her daddy. Already got the grumpy brow.”

Both of you laugh, your unbridled attention on the tiny bundle in your arms as you gush over her for minutes longer. Joel rubs your leg, drawing your eyes up to him as he asks, “So you think we picked a good name?”

“I think we picked a perfect name. Our ‘S’ girls,” you grin at him before looking down at your little girl, “Skye Isla Miller. I think it suits her perfectly.”

A bit more time is spent between only the two of you and Skye before you’re itching to see your eldest, and for her to meet her little sister. Joel retreats to where Sarah’s in the waiting area with Tommy and Maria, who’s now three months pregnant herself, waving her to come back with him. She nervously enters the room, quiet as a mouse until you reassure her with a smile and welcome her to sit in the bed next to you.

Joel makes the introductions, voice thick with emotion as he stands over his three girls, watching as his first little one meets his second, “Sarah Elena, this is your baby sister, Skye Isla.”

Sarah quietly asks permission to hold her; you lay Skye in her arms carefully, teaching her how to support her head and where to avoid her soft spot. Sarah picks up on it like a natural, adjusting her little sister when she fusses a bit, finally settling into a new set of familiar hands.

“Dad said you did a really good job, Mom. With everything today. S’pretty cool that you brought a whole person into the world…” Sarah glances over at you with a shy smile before addressing both you and Joel, “M’really happy she’s here.”

“You’re gonna be a great big sister, Bug,” Joel beams with pride as he squeezes her shoulder, leaning over to press a kiss to the crown of your head. He hums as he looks over you three, “Got my Mariposa, my Bug, and my little June Bug. Mi maripositas. Don’t think anything could beat seeing my three girls altogether finally.”

You find yourself observing your family from afar, listening with muffled ears as Joel and Sarah chat about who Skye got what features from. Cheeks aching from smiling, you can’t help but think that this summer was off to the most wonderful start, and that every summer after was only going to get better. 

taglist: @beskarandblasters @undrthelights @swiftispunk @joelsversion @asirenbyanyothername @ellenmunn @ja-ehyun @sw33tp1xie @marisemonteiroo @brunetteeras @bongsrconfusing @addictedtotlou @angie2274 @pedrostories @pedroholic @theelishad @johnwatsn @elissa @felicityofbakerstreet @atinylittlepain @northernbluess @cannolighost @casa-boiardi @wannab-urs @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @fishingforpike @msjarvis @walkintotheriveranddisappear @sugadolly @yazsos @peppesgirl @pastawench @anoverwhelmingdin @wolfbook87 @mswarriorbabe80 @planet-marz1 @kiwisbell @lizzie-cakes

[ihavethedreamies]

Sitting Out the Storm | Jisung

Park Jisung - NCT Dream

Word Count: ~6.2k

Pairing: Jisung x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Fluff, Cuddling, Eventual Kisses, Pining, Flirting

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Blizzard/Snowstorm

Author's Note: I squealed so much writing this because right when I realized that sweet little Jisung had gotten super hot (I was in denial for a while), and this came out. He's younger than me by a few years and since I have been into Kpop for such a long time, it was weird that he was younger than me. My friend and I struggled with Dream at first because they were our age or younger and we weren't used to it. I'm over it now.

I am cross-posting this on Archive and Wattpad. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other sites. Happy reading!

As you stepped out of the convenience store, you felt a drop of cold on your cheek. Looking up at the streetlight, you saw the small flakes drifting down from the sky. Reaching out a gloved hand, you watched a bigger one hit the pink fleece and melt into it, making you smile. You loved snow, it was so pretty. Though, when it had been there for months and hadn't yet melted and was mixed in with a good deal of dirt, then it was time to go. However, it was the beginning of November and had not yet snowed for the season. Getting snapped out of your reverie by your phone alarm going off, you pulled it out of your pocket and headed down the sidewalk. You had five minutes to get back to campus before your phone would blow up with texts and missed calls. The group chat already started to ding, and you rolled your eyes, shutting the sound off before someone thought there was an emergency alert going off.

"I am bringing you guys food." You grumbled, picking up the pace and crossing the street to get back on campus. You started a trot and saw a group huddled together in the middle of the commons near the recently-turned off fountain.

"FOOD." You heard a shout and then the stampede stormed over to you, the four bags wrenched from your hands.

"You're welcome." You grumbled and waited for them to sort stuff out so you could get your own snacks.

"Hey, that's mine."

"You already got yours, there was two."

"This is the wrong flavor."

"It is?"

"I wanted strawberry."

"This brand doesn't have strawberry."

"Why is this cold?"

"Because it's ice cream…"

"Thank you." You are pulled out of the argument of nonsense by a soft voice next to you. You turned to see the youngest of the group giving you a small smile, his snacks gathered in his large hands.

"Sure, Ji. Did I get yours right?"

"I think you got everyone's right, but Chenle stole Renjun's and Hyuck's." He whispered and you snickered.

"Noona!" A very loud voice shouted from a short distance.

"Yes?"

"I have yours!" Chenle held it up in the air as if to throw it and you, "don’t!"

"Aw." He sighed and walked it over to you and you snatched the bag of candy from him. You gave him a look.

"What?" When he didn't move, you shoved your hand in his pocket, to which he screamed, and grabbed your bottle of water.

"I've been violated!"

"You're so loud!"

"He's always loud!"

"Now you're loud."

"Hey! We're in public!" You scolded as a group of girls walked past whispering to each other. Despite the dark, it was only a little past 6, so people were still leaving classes. The seven boys quieted down and shuffled nervously under your scolding gaze.

"Now let’s go, its cold out and we're already late." You looked at your phone. It was only a minute past, but they had scheduled the game room for 6:30 and could only stay for a couple hours. Last time they didn't reserve it, the football boys had taken over and there was only so much seven pretty Asian boys could do against a group of sweaty muscle heads. You did not want to ever go through that absurdity again. When the game room was reserved, it really just meant that the group had exclusive access to the TVs and consoles, but the rest of the room was still open. The set up allowed two groups of four to play each other on separate consoles, but in the same room. You were not normally one for multi-player video games, but playing with them was honestly fun. The two teams would work together to take the other people on the server out and then go up against each other. You could always hear the groans of the others through their headsets when you guys logged on. Because of where you played, there was no live-speech engagement and eight people against everyone versus four is a little disadvantageous.

"(Y/N), come here," Jaemin waited for you and linked your arms. He was trying to suck up your warmth and it made it somewhat difficult to walk.

"We have like two minutes; you can deal with being cold."

"You are now my personal heater."

"No."

"Yes." Little did you know, trailing in the back were the two youngest.

"You're frowning." Chenle whispered, something he hardly ever did.

"No." Jisung cleared his throat, burying his hands deeper in his pockets, they were almost too big to fit.

"Yes."

"I'm cold too." Donghyuck ran backwards from where he was by Mark and linked his other arm with yours.

"How am I supposed to walk now?" You were being jostled between the two, the height difference making your gait uneven and now you were too warm. Chenle heard Jisung grumble and burst into his dolphin-laugh. Mark, Jeno and Renjun leading the pack were talking about something that happened in their class that day, Hyuck and Jaemin were arguing about something, Chenle was teasing Jisung, and you were beginning to regret your life choices.

"Okay, I really can't keep walking like this," You scolded and the two on your sides ignored you.

"Guys-"

"Let her walk on her own!" Jisung's surprisingly deep voice rose, and everyone halted in their tracks to look at him. The two sheepishly let you go, shocked by the maknae's outburst. You sighed in relief and ran ahead, between Mark and Jeno, and to the door of the activity center.

"Come on, you heathens!" You called for them, holding the door open as they shuffled inside, still shocked by Jisung's shout. Chenle was giggling as he walked past and Jisung gave you a small smile.

"Thank you." You beamed and his heart thumped, and you followed him inside. Going to the hall leading from the side entrance, you all arrived at the game room. Luckily that night was pretty calm and there were some seniors playing pool and a few girls playing at the old Dance Dance Revolution machine in the back. You went over to the snack bar to the guy running the sigh up sheet and he grinned.

"Good night for you guys, not many people here." He slid the clipboard to you, and you signed your name again next to where you had reserved the TVs. The boys began to settle in, throwing their coats in a pile on the floor, and spread their snacks out on the coffee table. You moved to your usual spot and found that it literally was taken. The chair was gone.

"Hey, where'd the red armchair go?"

"Some kid spilled soda on it, it dried sticky, someone sat on it and when they stood up, tore a big hole in the upholstery." The supervisor told you and you scowled down at the empty spot.

"Where will I sit?" You whispered to yourself.

"Noona, sit with me!" Donghyuck called to you from the other armchair.

"There's no room!" Renjun pointed out.

"We three barely fit on these couches." Mark added and you realized you would have to sit on the hardwood floor.

"She can sit on my lap." Jaemin suggested, you couldn't even see his face but knew what it looked like based on his tone of voice.

"Renjun can sit on her lap." Jeno teased and the other boy glared at him.

"I'll sit on the floor, Noona." Jisung stood up from where he normally sat next to Chenle. You didn't catch the look the second-youngest gave the other, but Jisung glared in response.

"Thanks Ji." You smiled and he sat down in front of Jaemin on the other side of Chenle. You sat down next to the loudest one and told him, "Don't shout in my ear, please." He whined in protest and Jeno handed out the controllers.

"Hurry up and sign in!" Donghyuck called to Mark who was furiously moving the joystick to get their credentials plugged in. Right as he hit enter, the game didn't not start to load in, because the power went out.

"What!" Someone shouted, the girls in the back corner screamed in anger, one of them was about to beat a high score. After a few seconds, the emergency lights kicked in and cast a dull glow around the room. A ding came out of the speakers and a tired voice spoke up.

"Attention all students. Due to the incoming blizzard, it seems the power grid has malfunctioned and the power to the south campus has been shut off. Emergency generators have kicked in but will only last a short while. All dorms on the north campus will have all power diverted to them and will be the only buildings with safe levels of heating from the cold. Accommodations will be made for on-campus students that have nowhere off-campus to stay the night. If you have friends in the Stanley or Cramer Halls, Harvey Apartments, or Jameson Suites, please make your own accommodations if possible. For this case, girls will be allowed in the boy's side of Stanley hall, but not the other way around. Please see the RA on duty at the dorm desks if you need assistance. Thank you." The speaker cut off and it seemed that not just the whole room, but the whole building - no - the whole campus groaned. You did not live on campus, so you were about to call your roommate to tell her the situation. As you pulled out your phone, it rang, your roommate herself on the other end.

"Hey, the power went out-"

"Yeah, it did here to."

"What?"

"Yeah, it seems the whole south side of town is out. I'm going to my boyfriend’s; will you be able to find somewhere?"

"Oh, uh," You glanced at the boys who were all illuminated by their phone screens, but they were looking at you.

"I'll figure it out." You tell her and you exchange a little more information and then hang up.

"Okay, I need to stay with someone." You turned to them fully and they looked between each other and began to type furiously on their phones. Considering nothing came in to your phone, they were in the group chat without you that they denied existed. You waited a second till they looked back at you, to each other, then more typing.

"Well?" You had waited long enough.

"Jaemin and Jeno are out because Jaemin doesn't understand personal space." Renjun jabbed his thumb at the other one.

"Hey!"

"I would rather not have you and her in my bed in the morning, thank you." Jeno looked at his roommate, a non-verbal argument flashing over their faces.

"Mark has to stay with Hyuck, but no one trusts Donghyuck anyway." Renjun continued.

"Hey! What'd I do?"

"You stole her-"

"Right! Okay! Who’s next?" Hyuck diverted the conversation, and you narrowed your eyes in suspicion at him.

"I live with my mom and that's a can of worms I don't want to open." Chenle motioned with his hand back and forth.

"Which would leave Jisung and Renjun." They all looked at you again and you refused to meet Renjun's gaze. Nothing had actually happened between you two, not really, it was just a kiss or three but that was enough for you two to get scared about it ruining your friendship and so you just didn't talk about it. Which left…

"Jisung? You okay with that?" You asked him. He had a single room, and while his bed was lofted, he did have a futon underneath it. It would work out pretty well, even if the futon was pretty uncomfortable as a bed. He didn't answer for a second, just gaping at you and everyone watched him till he startled to answer.

"Oh, yeah, of course." Jisung stood up and started to gather his things and everyone gave each other a look you couldn't read and then followed to do the same. You watched them with confusion and took your coat from Jeno when he handed it to you. They gathered their snacks and things and you all headed out of the game room, trailing after the rest of the students as the last people to leave. The snow had not only picked up but was getting significantly heavier as time passed. You all started to head to the north side of campus, where Chenle diverted off to head home. At a crossroad in the path, Jaemin and Jeno went off to their suite and the five of you headed toward Stanley. You had huddled together, you were stuck in the middle, acting as some sort of space heater. You were somewhat grateful though because it protected you from the snow some. There was a flood of students going into the dorm building and you shuffled in after them, and kicked the snow off your shoes and brushed it from your coats. People were milling about, some RAs going around getting information. Renjun said bye to the rest of you, giving you a look and you shook your head minutely and he headed off. An RA finally came over and he got Mark's information for him to stay with Donghyuck and the elder dragged Hyuck down the hall before he could try and persuade you to stay with him as well. You stood next to Jisung, able to feel his nerves rolling off of him in waves.

"Are you sure you're okay with me staying with you?" You asked.

"Yes! It's fine…Are you okay staying with me?" He wouldn't meet your eye.

"Yes, Jisung. Thank you." You bumped his arm with your shoulder, the height difference more poignant with you standing right next to him.

"What's your room?" The RA came over.

"702."

"Can I see your IDs?" He asked, clearly frazzled with all of this craziness. Jisung showed his and you took yours out of your wallet and handed it to him.

"You live off campus?" He asked.

"Yes, but it’s on the south side of town, so the powers out there too."

"Okay, are you two dating-"

"No!" You both clarified and the guy shook his head.

"Right, just friends?"

"Yes." You took your sock hat off, brushing some strands out of your face.

"Okay. We're going to have to turn the heat down to preserve energy, so I would recommend not leaving the dorm room too much to keep the hot air in." The RA smiled, handing your ID back and the younger boy led you out of the lobby and to the stairwell. The elevators were clogged with people and while you weren't pleased about climbing up to the seventh floor, it would be faster. When you reached the second-to-top floor, he led you down the hall to his room. You had only been there one other time, since it was so far up, you most often hung out in Renjun's room or somewhere else entirely. It was cleaner than you thought it would be, and thankfully he had a TV and microwave in there. It was colder than normal, but much better than outside. One thing nice about this dorm building, there was at least a toilet between each room, so you didn't have to use anything communal, which was probably why they allowed girls on the boy's side.

"The guy that lived on the other side moved out, so the other room is vacant, you don't have to worry about the bathroom." Jisung told you and you nodded.

"Do you have a sweatshirt I can change into? I have a pair of leggings in my bag to change out of my jeans but no other shirt.

"Yes!" He rushed over to his dresser. His clothes were in the drawers, but not folded or organized by any means. You smiled at the little arrangement he had of pictures above his desk. Most of them polaroids taken with Jaemin's camera. There was one of you, him, and Chenle right in the middle of the display and that made you happy. He really was so stinking cute sometimes.

"Here, I think this is the smallest one I have." He handed you a simple grey hoodie with the school's name on it and you thanked him, going into the bathroom to change. Despite the fact that the sweatshirt was his smallest, you were still swimming in it. He always wore stuff that was oversized anyway. You looked at yourself in the mirror, the sleeves hanging down past your hands and the bottom hem hitting right above your knees.

"Giant child…" You shook your head, moving to roll the sleeves a bit to make them less dangly. You caught a whiff of something good on the fabric and buried your nose in it and sighed. He may not have smelled as good as Renjun, but it was still comforting. It was more likely his laundry detergent than cologne of any kind, but it smelled like Jisung. As you left the bathroom, you caught him in the middle of him changing into a sweatshirt himself. He had on a tank top underneath his shirt, but you still got a good look at how broad his shoulders were and, despite having a dancer's body, there was still muscle there to appreciate. You didn't make a sound till he had the sweatshirt on, not wanting to startle him then you let the door shut. He did jump a bit, but not too bad and he froze. Seeing you in his sweatshirt did things to him and you looked so cute with it pooling over you. You were so small compared to him, heck, you were small compared to Renjun, let alone him.

"I-is that comfortable?" He made sure and you nodded.

"Yes, thank you very much. I can log into my Netflix so we can watch something if you want? You don’t have it right?"

"Oh, no." He shook his head and handed you the remote. He shut the bright ceiling light off and the room took on a soft warm glow thanks to the two lamps he had on and the string of lights around the window. He stepped up a bit on the ladder of his lofted bed and grabbed the blankets he had up there, and he grabbed another one he had in the closet. He handed you one and sat next to you on the futon. It was lower to the ground than a normal one, he mentioned something about that being why it was on sale. It was comfy enough, but laid out to sleep on, the bar hit right in the middle of your back, so he suggested just sleeping on it like a couch.

"What do you want to watch?" You asked, having plugged in your login info, and was looking at the suggestions. You thought a movie would be good, but you had already watched everything on your list.

"Is The Hobbit still on here?" He asked.

"Yeah! You like the third one, right?" You clarified. The eight of you had a movie marathon watching through all three of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings a few months back and he had mentioned his favorite.

"That okay?"

"Yeah. I'll probably cry at the ending, just warning you." You told him. You started the movie and both of you dug out your snacks and things and settled in. It was chillier than either of your ideals, so you suggested sharing the blankets and layering them. He stuttered out an agreement and you scooted in closer. You had never felt smaller. He was not the biggest guy you had met, but he was the biggest of the friend group and you were quite small. He was nice and warm, and he felt the same about you. Getting so entrenched in the movie and snacks, neither of you noticed the weather growing even more severe outside the window. Suddenly, a knock on the door startled both of you and you hit pause while he untangled from the blankets, opening the door.

"Hey, guys, I know this sucks…Uh, the storm is getting worse and we're having to divert even more power elsewhere. Since there are only solo rooms on this floor and the eighth, and not all rooms are full, we are moving everyone to the ballroom in the Central Building. Also, she's the only extra person on these two floors anyway…" The RA trailed off and Jisung blinked at the guy as you groaned.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Sorry. We are getting some extra mattresses out of storage and we're going to put on some movies, but the Central Building is on its own power reserve since it’s the official emergency shelter. You won't have to go outside; you can just go to the skyway on the third floor and get over there." He shrugged and you two sighed and got your stuff together. He threw some other things in his backpack, and you put your shoes back on. He grabbed the blankets you had gathered, and you both begrudgingly take the elevator down and follow the ten others that are heading over. As you are walking across the skyway, you are both grateful you put on your coats too because there was no heat on the covered bridge. You cringed as a great blast of wind hit the window, making the plexiglass wobble a bit. Not liking the skyway to begin with, this whole thing was not helping. Everyone halted when a loud snap was heard, a spark, and then the light fixtures above all shattered as the circuit overloaded. You yelped, moving to cover your head, but instead, two arms wrapped around you and Jisung shielded you from the glass raining down. Everyone just stood in the dark for a second, the light coming from the other end of the walkway being the only light. Not even the streetlights were on.

"Are you okay?" He whispered to you, his deep voice right near your ear.

"Y-yeah, let's go." You backed away slightly, not wanting to flinch away from him and hurt his feelings. It was incredibly sweet that he did that, and it was clearly instinctual. Your heart fluttered and he turned his phone flashlight on, immediately grabbing your hand and leading you the rest of the way, around the piles of broken glass. Getting to the other building, someone that was part of the staff led the group to the designated ballroom where they had a bunch of the school-provided mattresses spread out. They had no sheets on them, but that was okay for that night.

"Are you Jisung Park?" A woman called to him, and you both turned to her.

"Yeah?"

"Well, it seems we only got mattresses for each tenant, since she was the only extra, we do not have one for her…" She trailed off, and before you could answer, "That's okay, I'll let her have it." Jisung's immediate response once again caused your heart to flutter. He was always sweet, but this was focused solely on you, once again, and you weren't sure what to make of it. The woman blinked a bit in surprise to and then gave you a coy look.

"Perfect! We are having popcorn made and we're going to be putting on the Avengers movies. Let one of us know if you need anything!" She smiled and you went over and picked one of the mattresses. He wouldn't let you even touch the mattress, so you carried the blankets as he hauled it over to the corner near a window. He wanted to keep an eye on the weather outside, which was getting even worse. You laid out one of the blankets on the mattress which had the same upholstery as a mat used in gym class to make sure you didn't get hurt. You had a thick foam pad on your bed when you lived on campus and now you had a legit mattress that was covered in the highest-thread count sheets you could find. The way he set the bed up, you could rest your back on the wall and face where they were going to project the movie. There were way more than ten other people in there, telling you they had to have this set up for other residents. There were probably like 40 kids in there. No wonder they didn't have an extra mattress for you. As the first Captain America movie started, you two sat close like in his dorm, under the two blankets, but didn’t say anything. It was one thing to sit like that with just you two, but it was different with other people. However, neither of you could bring yourselves to not sit so close. It was warmer there too, but you two found great comfort in the proximity. When they announced the popcorn was ready, you couldn't even get ready to get up before he was doing so and getting it for you. Watching him go up, you caught yourself staring at his back, remembering seeing him in the tank top, and wondering what he looked like from the front. He was pretty shy, and it was rare to see him showing so much skin. You had noticed throughout knowing him that he really had matured. Not just emotionally, but physically. All of the guys had come to America for college when they were scouted to be dancers on the Dance Team. Despite the age gap, they all started off as Freshmen and so you had known them for almost two years. It was crazy how much he changed in that short amount of time; he really did the most out of all of them. Seeing sweet little Jisung all grown up should have made you feel proud, or nostalgic for when he was the cute maknae. But he had really grown up well and turned out to be way more handsome than you even thought he would be. Shaking your head to clear the thoughts, he came and sat back down with you. You took the two bags of popcorn, the ones they used at all the sporting events, and he covered back up with the blankets.

"Thank you." You told him, handing him his own bag. You both at in mostly silence, watching the movie you had both seen many times before. He peeled the canvas curtain away from the window next to him to look outside. He couldn't see much because of the level of snow and wind there was whipping around.

"Its nasty out." You commented looking out the window with him. He hummed in agreement and then both sat back down before turning back to the movie. You could feel him looking at you instead though, and the piercing stare eventually drove you to look at him as well.

"Ah!" He got caught, looking away quickly.

"Jisung?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you, for being so sweet." You were going to add 'tonight', but the more you thought about it, the more you realized he was always like that. Even earlier that night, he made sure to bring you your snacks and even told off the older two for not letting you go. The week before, you were reluctant to go up and get more food at the cafeteria, since what you wanted was being served by a guy that gave you the creeps. He didn't even say anything, just got up and then came back with a plate full. When he would see that the snack shop was almost sold out of your favorite, he would buy the last one to make sure you would get it. He always held the door open for you and waited after his class for you to go eat lunch. So much more had happened, but the more you thought about it, the more your heart raced.

"Oh, well, uh-" You cut him off by scooching even closer and linking your arm with his, resting your head on his shoulder. You felt him tense when you did this, but he relaxed quicker than you thought he would. What he did next made your heart stop momentarily. Jisung shifted and rested his cheek against the top of your head. That's not what got you though, it’s what he did after. He placed a small kiss on the crown of your head. He probably felt you tense, and you didn't want him to worry that you disliked it. So, you nuzzled into him more, and moved your hand to touch his. He turned his palm up to allow you better access and you linked your hands, your fingers slotting between his. Your hands were small to begin with, and his were much larger than even what his should be. His large hand engulfed yours and you honestly loved it. You were not at all expecting to be feeling this way about sweet little Jisung. Though, there was always something there, so these emotions hit you like a tank. You probably always had a crush on him, but you thought it was more like he's a cute little brother. You began to realize things about yourself that proved this. Whenever you had something to tell the guys, you started with him. Wanted to show them something you made? Jisung first. You always chose to sit next to him if possible, and whenever you needed someone to talk to, you went to him. When he, Jaemin, and Mark got sick, you took care of him the whole time. You did some with Mark, but Jaemin was so obnoxious and clingy, and you did not want to catch it yourself.

"Noona?"

"Yeah?" He didn't reply right away, he just rubbed this thumb over the back of your hand.

"Are you sure?"

"About what?"

"Me?" He was so quiet and sounded so scared. You pulled back to look at his sweet face and he looked so nervous.

"What do you mean?"

"I- I'm younger than you, and I'm awkward and stupid-"

"You are not stupid!" You scolded, pulling back from him some but not taking your hand out of his. He didn't say anything, just looked at your interlinked hands.

"I need you to be one hundred percent sure, because I don't think I could handle losing you." He whispered and everything seemed to turn to slow motion. While he didn't say the fated three words, you could feel what he meant in his words. It took your breath away and brought tears to your eyes. Jisung finally looked at you, right in the eye, and you swallowed the lump in your throat. You really wished you weren't surrounded by forty other college kids…

"I'm sure, Jisung." You brought his arm up to wrap around you and he pulled you into his side, cuddling together to finish the movie. Periodically you would glance out the window at the white out conditions, but you two felt so warm with each other. As they put up the third movie, you both were getting very tired. He originally offered to let you have the mattress, but you insisted that you share. You were in the back corner, and honestly most people wouldn't care as long as your clothes were on. He laid down against the wall, placing a folded blanket under his head and laid one down for you. Starting off next to each other, you soon found yourself curled into his side with your head on his chest.

"Good night, (Y/N)." He whispered and you drifted off to his thudding heart.

You both woke up to hear the other students stirring and a bunch of them were looking out the windows on the other side of the room. At least they were considerate of you two sleeping where you were. As you moved, Jisung grunted and yawned, his arm around you tightening to prevent you from sitting up.

"Ji." You whispered and his eyes flew open and he noticed the other people awake and let you both sit up. Getting your bearings, you both stand and adjust and look out the window yourselves. The snow had stopped, the sunrise stunning in the mostly clear sky, the light bouncing off the untouched blanket of white. A staff member came in and announced that the power was back to normal, but classes would be cancelled that day and the next. They told everyone to leave the mattresses as is and you gathered your belongings and went back across the skyway to get to his dorm room. The glass had been cleaned and the lights replaced already. He led you to his room and he dropped his stuff off and you both grabbed your coats. Jisung had offered to walk you back home, and you weren't sure when you could do that because most of the walkways had not been plowed or shoveled yet.

"Oh, right."

"Do you have anything breakfast-y?" You asked him and he went to the dresser under the TV, and you looked through what he had. The only thing that was a breakfast food was a bunch of Poptarts. He didn't have a toaster, but they did in the kitchen on each floor. Donghyuck and Renjun lived on the same floor, so you went down to that lobby to meet them and Mark. You sent a text to them to go there to and they were already there when you got there. You cracked open the box of toaster pastries and slid some into the four-slot toaster.

"Did you see how much snow is out there?" Donghyuck asked and you nodded.

"Yeah, it’s gotta be at least a foot, maybe two." You turned to them and rested against the counter. Jisung did the same next to you, your shoulders brushing. Renjun and Mark shared a look as Hyuck was too busy rambling while looking out the window.

"I heard the people on the top floor had to go somewhere else?" Renjun asked and the toaster popped so Jisung answered while you dealt with those.

"Yeah, they had to divert more power for heating and stuff, so they took everyone on floors seven and eight and brought us to the central building ballroom. They gave us extra mattresses and put on movies; they had some other kids there that had nowhere else to go. I was the only one with someone staying with me, so we had to share-" He caught himself and Hyuck whipped around to look at him. You put two Poptarts onto two plates and set them down for Mark and Renjun then turned back to make more.

"You shared a bed?!?" Donghyuck shouted much too loudly. All four of you shushed him and he came to sit down with the other two.

"He was going to let me just take the mattress, but I suggested we share." You shrugged, your cheeks tingling a bit.

"Did you tell her?" Mark looked at the maknae. His eyes widened and then the eldest looked at you.

"Tell me what?"

"Hyung!" Jisung cringed and he threw his hands up in surrender. You cast a glance at Renjun, and he gave you a supportive smile and nodded. Instead of either of you saying anything, you delicately rested your hand in his and he linked your fingers.

"You lucky-!" Hyuck shook his head and Mark grinned brightly, laughing.

"Finally!" The rest of the Poptarts got done and you all ate before deciding to bundle up and play in the snow. They were working on plowing and shoveling, but you were in no hurry to get home. People were already having snowball fights, making snowmen, and burrowing tunnels in the snow. You all felt like little children as you trotted outside and the other three ran through the nearly two-foot snow toward where Jaemin and Jeno were already building a snow fort. You checked the group chat, and the last message was from Chenle saying he was on his way.

"The snow is so pretty!" You beamed and Jisung grabbed your hand again and started to lead you a bit away. There was a small little courtyard next to the central building and behind the admissions building. It had been shoveled already, even the benches had been brushed of snow and dried off. He led you over to the fountain that they had shut off weeks ago and faced you to him.

"I wanted to do this earlier, but there were people around…" He stepped closer till his head is tipped down, your noses touching. His big hands find your waist, if your coat wasn't on, he might have been able to touch his thumbs together. You tilted your head and his lips barely touched yours before he pulled back.

"I, um, have never…"

"That’s okay." You grinned, bringing one of the hands on his chest to his jaw and pulling him down to you. You led the kiss at first, but as his confidence grew, he pulled you ever closer and took over. It was like fireworks burst behind your eyes and when you finally separated, you giggled with glee and bumped his forehead.

"Let’s sit out the next storm together too." You suggested.

"How about all of them?"

Master-Master List

NCT Master List

[stvrdrops]

the american actress pt 1 | pt 2 ☆ shuri x fem!reader

an invitation to the most lavish and private wakandan ball suddenly makes its way into your lap, despite you being only a regular old actress compared to the world leaders who usually attend. could it be the princess invited you herself..? surely not.

warnings : some implicit actions , fluff & cute flirting between the two !

word count : 2,861

note : this is the first shuri fanfic i’ve written after coming back from my terrible writers block so i apologize if it’s not the best lol i’ve just been so obsessed with her lately that i had to write something for her :)

wakanda is a kingdom of utter extravagance. ever since they opened up their walls they had begun throwing lavish balls and galas to keep the countries distracted from stealing vibranium. the world leaders saw it as an elite gala while wakanda saw it as a way to share their wealth without actually sharing. only the most classy and most important of people could even dream about attending the wakandan dances. the most famous of these balls being the wakandan international gala. something so simply named would have to be but a simple event, right? you would be incredibly mistaken. women dressed to the nines while men wore their most expensive designer suits. governors would discuss politics while tribe leaders ate and danced. princesses and daughters of government officials would gossip and flirt with the many men eyeing them down. most importantly, the avengers themselves would attend. they treated the night as one of their many vacation days from work. the black widow would forgo her iconic black suit, captain america would drop the shield for a glass of whiskey, tony stark would still bring his suit but only to show off, thor’s cape became a tuxedo, hawkeye managed to go without his bow, and bruce banner left the green man at home.

this was your first and what you thought to be your last time attending the infamous event. you were certain to be an outlier compared to the world’s most important people. you happened to be just a simple actress. you didn’t sign treaties or protect the universe. all you did was read off a script and perform some stunts for a living. it was safe to say you believed the invitation to be a mistake, but your agent assured you it was not. apparently you had been invited allegedly by someone with high wakandan authority. they had left their identity a mystery which drove you wild. it made you laugh to think the person who invited you was the princess of wakanda, shuri. you happened to form a crush on her some time ago after seeing her on tv discussing world politics. somehow she made the war over vibranium sound sexy and adorable at the same time. which was quite insane.

you often found yourself wondering if the princess had seen any of your movies. she was far too busy to sit down and watch some silly academy nominated films. after all, she was the princess of a whole nation and led only the best scientists all on her own.

you currently stood in front of large doors made purely out of vibranium. it was carved with thousands of little people telling the story of how wakanda was formed. the attention to detail had been nothing short of incredible. it was so incredible, in fact, that your breathing even hitched a little. you had never seen anything quite like that with its craftsmanship. yet again, you hadn’t seen anything quite like wakanda.

the trip to wakanda had been fairly short despite the long distance needing to be traveled. a limo showed up at your quaint loft in nyc right when the invitation said transportation would arrive. after that you were taken to what seemed to be an army base. wakandan jets were lined along as you watched others enter. they went in groups, while you had a jet all of your own. the next thing you knew was arriving in wakanda and standing in front of these doors. everything had happened so quick!

“ehem.”

your gaze shifts from the top of the door to the two women standing on both sides of it. you blushed out of embarrassment, the red on your checks too bright for your brown skin to hide. out of your astonishment you forgot the two women had even been standing there. they oozed poise and bravery. not to mention they were incredibly sexy.

somehow you felt underdressed when you stared at them. they were wearing their normal dora milaje gear, but still it matched the regality of the gala. you looked down at your thousand dollar gown and frowned a little. it had stuck to your body like a glove, showing off every curve. you felt a little self conscious due to the low back and high leg slit. it almost felt too grown for such an event, but your stylist assured you it would be the right choice for the occasion. so maybe you weren’t overdressed, but perhaps just feeling like you didn’t dress for the right kind of gala.

it made you feel so much older than nineteen. the black sparkles shined bright as the lights in the hall hit every single one of them. your dark stilettos positioned you higher than normal, but you were just of the same height as the dora milaje women. your hair had been done up in a bun style updo, showcasing your collarbones and soft neck. the makeup you wore was soft glam, and that was just how you liked it. you knew you were beautiful but the nerves of keeping up appearances was eating you alive.

you move closer to the door and smile to the two women. they do not reciprocate the smile, but you know they would if they could. their training probably prohibited them from doing such things at events like these.

spears hit the ground causing the large vibranium doors to open. it caught you by surprise seeing how easily the moved open despite how much they had to of weighed. once they opened it revealed to you just how many people were truly at this gala.

your eyes land on everyone below and grow wide at the realization that everyone is staring back at you. you even make eye contact with one of the avengers, natasha romanoff. you quickly turn your eyesight away out of embarrassment, however, it’s just your luck that your eyes land right on princess shuri right after. you could feel yourself freezing as a wide smile grew onto her face. she looked happy? like as if she was happy to see you attending.

“introducing y/n y/l/n, the american actress.” a thick accent shouts before the spears hit the ground again.

everyone’s eyes linger on you for a second while you make your way into the room. the doors close suddenly behind you. you can’t help but feel totally exposed. somehow being in front of a million people at a premiere is better than this, because at least you know those people love you.

music fills your ears as you see the band has begun playing again. people go back to normal as the music starts and you can’t help but let out a sigh of relief. you finally allow yourself to go down the stairs without the risk of tripping from your anxiety.

the room looked much smaller from above, but as you’re in the middle of it all you realize the room is quite large. you can’t help but allow your eyes to scan the room as you take in all the lavish decor and beautiful greenery. the walls were covered in flowers and vines native to wakanda. sculptures of panthers made purely out of vibranium lined the walls and the pillars reaching from out of them. dora milaje stood in little doorways towards the top of the walls, watching down on the guests.

the large glass roof allowed for the stars to shine so beautifully on your sparkly dress. it also helped to create the perfect atmosphere as people danced and laughed. it was just the perfect amount of light.

you hadn’t realized you made your way to the bar until someone tapped your shoulder with a sharp nail.

“are you lost?” a sultry voice spoke.

“oh,” you quickly turn yourself around to see the black widow standing in front of you. you find it hard to form the correct words, only saying, “i’m sorry.”

she laughs, “for what?”

“i- i just…” your mouth goes dry, “i guess i don’t know.”

“hm,” she raises a brow, “you’re just as pretty in person as you are in the movies.”

you gasp, “you watch my movies?”

“who doesn’t?” a thick wakandan accent speaks from behind you.

you feel your legs go weak when you recognize who’s voice it was. it couldn’t be, could it? you turn to the side and your eyes land on the princess of wakanda, shuri. she flashes you a charming smile and you can feel your face heat up once again. she’s not that much older than you, but she looked incredibly mature. she didn’t wear a typical dress, instead opting for a suit that had no under shirt. you could see the most modest part of her chest and how toned her collarbones were. it’s almost as if you could see her muscles underneath the suit. shuri could feel you undressing her with your eyes, but said nothing about it.

“you do not mind if i take my guest, do you romanoff?” shuri spoke to natasha while gripping your hand. the russian spy looked down at the hang gripping and then up again.

“not at all.” she said before going back to sipping on her incredibly dark red wine.

“come y/n, i must show you something.” shuri speaks while flashing another smile and dragging you away from the party. you’re far too starstruck to even say anything, only nodding as a response.

you’re lead through the many corridors of the wakandan palace before reaching the least guarded area in the whole place. the doors were white and looked futuristic. you watch as shuri begins to type some password into a keypad.

“you’re the princess”

ugh, you cant believe you’ve said that out loud.

“yes, i am.” she chuckles, “and you’re a famous american actress.”

“why does everyone refer to me as that? i have a name.” you cant help but frown.

“hmm, fine. i will refer to you as y/n, the princess of all american actresses.”

what a stupid nickname, but it sounded so cute coming from her that you couldn’t help but smile. she noticed this and beamed with pride. her little flirting had been working nicely.

“that works.” you joke with her. for the first time tonight you didn’t find yourself feeling anxiety.

“ah! here we are.” shuri speaks as the white door begins to open. it slides from both sides to reveal what seems to be the infamous lab. you don’t have time to register much of anything due to shuri dragging you inside and up some stairs to a ledge. she stops in front of a table covered in different little trinkets and inventions.

“forgive me princess, but what am i supposed to be looking at?”

“hm?” she looks up at you, tearing her gaze away from the table. “oh yes, hold on.”

you watch as she picks through the items.

“to be honest i didn’t know you knew of my existence.”

she laughs and you can feel butterflies forming inside you. your schoolgirl crush on shuri was truly getting worse and worse by every moment you spend with her. surely she could never see you that way though. hell, you didn’t even know if she was into girls.

“i watch every movie of yours. you are quite an incredible actress. which is why i wanted you to test these for me.” she says while handing you what seemed to be a pair of black glasses. they were the exact same frames as ones you wore in your last movie.

shuri sees you raising a brow at this realization and says, “i liked how well they complimented you.”

“i see.” you say as you hear the subtle cockiness in her voice begin to dwell. you couldn’t help but think about how much taller she was even in your heels. so to look up at her with the glasses on made you feel a bit silly. you enjoyed it though.

suddenly words appear in your eyesight. the glasses lenses turn into screens that display what seems to be a script. it tracks what you read and what you haven’t, highlights certain parts of the text for you, and seemingly more. your mouth can’t help but gape open at how cool it all is.

“did you make these?” a stupid question, but you had to ask.

“of course, with you in mind.”

“why me?”

“it gave me a good excuse to get you in my lab, and trust me, i needed to get you in here somehow.”

oh. my. god.

“why wait until this fancy gala?” you blushed as you spoke, still searching through the words on the lenses.

“i just wanted to see you in a pretty dress. i guessed you’d look amazing based off your premiere pics, but somehow it’s so much better in person. you’re so much better in person.”

suddenly you feel her hand resting on your hip. you don’t refuse her, and she can feel you’re enjoying the reaction. she took pleasure in knowing your hairs probably stood up under that tight dress from her finger tips. she lifts the glasses up, allowing for you to make eye contact with her. she was looking at you like you were the only person in the world. she was looking at you as if she wanted to devour you.

how suave.

“you are much shorter in person, but i prefer it this way. much easier to do this.”

“do what—“ you begin to ask, but unable to finish as a gasp escapes from your plump lips. shuri had lifted you up onto the glass table so easily that it caught you by surprise. you swore you could feel your heart beating out of your chest. your body aches for her and she could tell.

her fingers trail up the slit in your dress as you both hold eye contact. she smiles as they slip under the dress, finding your black panties. the space between you two becomes much less by every passing second.

“i should’ve flown you out to wakanda much sooner if i knew you would let me get this far. perhaps even request you film a movie here.”

“a movie? for the wakandans?”

she laughs, “no silly. our own personal movie. one that involves little clothing. i’m sure you’d be a natural at it since it involves no real acting.”

holy shit she’s good.

she leans in while keeping eye contact. you began growing impatient so you grab her face and push your lips into hers. suddenly the space between you is no longer existing. her hands are on your hips as you attempt to chase some kind of high.

shuri takes pleasure in knowing just how fast you crumbled beneath her. you two didn’t even know each other for two hours and here you were grinding yourself into her and the table trying to chase a high.

your hands dug into the curly hair on top of her head as she dove to your exposed neck. her nails dug into your skin when you pulled slightly on the hair. her teeth sank into your neck and you moaned from the contact. it was almost as if she was a vampire with the way she was sucking and biting on you. she just couldn’t get enough of how fruity you had tasted.

you couldn’t help but melt underneath her and turn into a mess as she pushed your legs up. she was incredibly charming and the best kisser you’ve ever had the pleasure of experiencing. this certainly isn’t what you had planned for the night, but it would do nicely.

“princess shuri—“

“not,” she came up from your neck and kissing you to speak, “now.”

“but—“

shuri ignored the voice speaking from the walls. you were too busy taking everything in to notice the voice.

“princess shuri!”

a voice booms through the lab and suddenly shuri is pushing herself off of you. you quickly fix your position to keep from falling off of the glass table as you realize someone other than the both of you was in the room.

“okoye, how many times have i told you to not enter when the doors are shut?!”

the woman only raises a brow as she looks between you and the princess. you give a weak but embarrassed smile. her expression drops into a slight smile when she sees shuri’s hand still on your waist.

“i apologize to break up whatever this is, but the queen is requesting your presence.”

shuri sighs, “i better not keep mother waiting.” she looks back at you and attempts to hide a smile from seeing how flustered you look, “i will be back. do not move a muscle!”

you can only find it in yourself to nod your head, already missing how good it felt to have her lips on your neck.

she hurries after okoye and the doors to the lab open.

“must you have sex in the lab?”

“we were not going to have sex okoye!”

“lying is not good for the soul shuri.”

“hmph. you know how long i’ve been crushing on her.”

“oh yes, you never shut up about her last movie. such a lover girl aren’t you? at least take the girl out on a date first.”

“maybe i will.” shuri states in a matter of fact manner.

the doors shut cutting off the conversation to you. however, you heard all you needed to hear, a smile spreading across your lips.

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙✧⋆｡°✩☼⋆｡°✩☽

[meiloorun-notthefruit]

Ok. Ok wait. Hold on just realized something. Sora has lost his powers throughout the Kingdom Hearts series multiple times — Chain of Memories, Kingdom Hearts 2, Dream Drop Distance (the command deck is mostly the Mark of Mastery testing his skills with the “official” way to fight; and also it’s in his dreams), and finally Kingdom Hearts 3. What’s Sora’s source of power that he keeps losing?

“I don’t need a weapon. My friends are my power.” (KH1)

“I know the keyblade didn’t choose me, and I don’t care. I’m proud to be a small part of something bigger — the people it did choose. My friends. They are my power!” (Dream Drop Distance)

Sora associates all his power as coming from his friends, so much so that when almost all of them are presumably killed by the Demon Tide at the Keyblade Graveyard, he straight up falls to his knees and gives ups. The only reason he gets back up is because Riku tells him moments before sacrificing himself for Sora that he, Riku, believes in Sora. Riku believes that Sora will find a way to bring them all back from the brink. Not anyone else, just Sora.

Sora, I believe in you. You won’t give up. (JP translated line)

Where am I going with all of this? Sora doesn’t believe in his own power. In fact, he thinks he’s worthless without his friends (and the power they lend him.) His mantra is iconic, but it’s reduced his thinking to only associating all of his competence because of others, not because of his own actions or determination. His power is not his own.

So if Sora’s power is not his own, it explains why he keeps losing it so much; he doesn’t believe in it, so it doesn’t stick. I believe that Kingdom Hearts 4 and Sora’s time in Quadratum is setting up for him finally open his eyes to the power he’s always had. His friends aren’t going to be there to help him (at least not at first, if Riku traveling via portal to the other side of Reality is anything to go off of; that and Sora’s knack for making friends so easily) so he’ll have himself and only himself to rely on. He will realize that his power was always his to begin with, or he might just find a new power - resolve - to claim as entirely his own.

I can’t wait to see it.

[wazzuppy]

meow wow icons for @invisiblejackwagon

like/reblog if you save

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance Commands - Faith

[hollowwhisperings]

Would that make riku the first gay Disney prince? Mickey has basically become like a surrogate father to him which would make him the Prince while also being the prince to kingdom hearts. And thinking further, then there’s potentially three x-blades. The x-blade of legend forged in the conflict of light and dark, the kingdom x-blade of both keys that might be combined later down the line, and the combined key of their hearts.

There are a lot of "First Gay Disney Character" contenders, even without going into live-action films or Disney Channel shows, and as much as Disney's take on Herakles was painful in its inaccuracies (i.e. using the Roman name 'Hercules' but Greek names for everyone else)... Greek Mythology is VERY GAY.

Like, labels of sexuality are anachronistic to the period but EVERYONE was queer: the gods, the heroes, the IRL poets. Herakles was only able to defeat the Hydra during his Labours because his boyfriend Hylas was there to cauterize its necks before it could grow new heads.

(on a sadder/more ominous note, Hylas is also noted for his role in Mythological Greece's Epic Crossover Event, the quest for the Golden Fleece: his disappearing mid-quest caused Herakles, the strongest hero of all, to ABANDON THE QUEST. Herc left the crossover event to look for his boyfriend... but failed, Hylas having been dragged off by nymphs while fetching water.)

The whole "Mythological Greece was REALLY queer" Thing makes the consistent use of Disney's Hercules within the KH series feel very Deliberate: Riku is alikened to Hercules quite consistently, if only through the Colisseum enabling Sora's competitiveness (with Riku) and his need for Validation (from Riku). Herc, like Riku, is considered the BEST of The Best, the Ultimate Hero, the Peak of Masculine Perfection... this already sounds gay & KH3 dialed that energy up to 11 by directly connecting Riku with Herc & with the Sun.

Onto the matter of x-blades... it WOULD fit within the greater mythos of KH if there were 3 x-blades but I suspect that each "version" would simply act as a stepping stone toward manifesting ONE "true" x-blade that incorporates the Kingdom Keys, the Gayblade, & the "balancing of Darkness & Light". SoRiku only have 4 hands between them after all.

Regarding the Light/Darkness part, I strongly suspect that a big factor in how previous attempts have FAILED by manufacturing a war beyween Light & Darkness is due to a Misunderstanding on what the x-blade is FOR.

The x-blade was never meant to be some Ultimate Weapon (though it can act as one): it was meant to be a Key to Kingdom Hearts. And what is the truest method to 'unlocking' a heart? Love.

That a meeting of 'Light & Darkness' is referenced in the forging of a x-blade seems, to me, something 'incidental' to the x-blade being a manifestation of Love: 'True Love' in the Disney Worlds tends to feature people embracing each other wholly, Darkness & All. The primary "Disney Couple" that the KH series uses when referencing Sora & Riku is Belle & Adam: it is Belle's embracing Beast, his Light (as a man) AND his 'Darkness' (as a beast), that makes their love story so Iconic. It's also how they end up breaking Adam's Curse.

Embracing and Balancing the Light&Darkness in oneself & in one's beloved is an Act of True Love: Love is how Riku was able to balance his own Darkness & Light, Riku's journey through Dream Drop Distance being one of 'Self-Acceptance'. Self-acceptance enabled Riku to be empowered by his love of Sora, to reconnect with Sora without pulling away because of Riku's insecurities & his self-loathing.

If not as an incidental component to 'Love', the Light&Darkness aspect of the x-blade may be in service to its actual Purpose. Not only of 'unlocking Kingdom Hearts' but perhaps also... a Reconciling of Light & Darkness?

Xehanort sought to use the x-blade & Kingdom Hearts to create a [blank slate]. The Master of Masters seems invested in DESTROYING Darkness (and its vessels with it?). Yet the Disney Worlds & the Resolution of the Seeker of Darkness saga have all kind of implied that 'reconciliation' is what everything is ideally building up to: Belle & Adam, Herc & Meg, Eraqus & Xehanort, Riku, Sora, Sora AND Riku.

Acts of True Love often show Light overcoming Darkness but, since Kingdom Hearts was recognised by Sora & Riku (in KH1) as being "light"... since Riku has been steadily taking a thematic role of 'the Sun'... since the WORD 'sora' does not only translate to 'sky' but ALSO to 'void'?

Kingdom Hearts might be a complementary 'Light' (or Sun) to the Darkness of the 'One Sky': the 'sora' shared by all Worlds, the Night Sky that is the void of space beyond each World's atmospheric sky... the quiet Darkness of the universe within which all Light is made visible. Light & Darkness as elements of the universe, not just thematic symbols of love & acts thereof.

Afterall, 'sora' does not just/only refer to the atmospheric [sky] but to the "sky" of space: ENG typically translates THAT meaning of 'sora' to [void]. It's a double meaning that was kind of lost on International audiences but might be explored through Yozora's whole "[true king] of the [night sky]" thing.

This Ask REALLY imspired me! I got pretty caught up in how Riku's Designated World has always been Disney's Hercules (and how Gay that is) but! i think i came back to all the points? I definitely like the idea of there being 3 parts to manifesting 1 x-blade: the 'physical body' of joining the Kingdom Keys, the 'heart' made by love & dreams, the 'soul' made of Light&Darkness... any of these roles are interchangeable, given the whole "keyblades are manifestations of the heart" thing but joining the 3 parts of personhood laid out in KH1 (body, heart, soul) to the forming of the x-blade would be Very Cool. Thank you, Anon! <3

[twistedtummies2]

From what Final Fantasy’s you’ve played and only partially counting* what characters we’ve seen so far, what other FF Characters would you want to see in KH

(*Partially because we could do more story with them)

Personally, I’d love to see more iconic FF monsters make new appearances rather than just 1 heartless, 2 nobodies and Gummi Ship designs (Behemoth, Dragon and Dancer technically)

Honestly a whole FF world could be really cool- imagine a Keyblade incorporating a bunch of monster designs or something like that

I'm honestly not super familiar with Final Fantasy. I know a little bit about some of the games and the characters, but really not a ton; it's a franchise I've never really been able to get into. :P In fact, Kingdom Hearts was my INTRODUCTION to Final Fantasy; it wasn't till after the fact, so to speak, that I learned characters like Cloud, Leon, and so forth were based on Final Fantasy characters. HAVING SAID THAT...I think it would be nice to get a couple of FF villains into the games. Like, we've had Sephiroth appear a couple of times, why not throw Kefka into the mix? ALSO, with "Dream Drop Distance" we got a character from a completely different Square Enix property, "The World Ends With You." So why not bring some characters from other Square Enix titles into the mix? I've been into Dragon Quest XI a lot lately, maybe some characters from there would be fun, for a start. XD

[lunamura]

ZIONISTS DO NOT FUCKING INTERACT WITH ME. This is a Pro-Palestine blog. Zionists, get fucked.

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suppose i’ll do an intro post, better late then never lmao

hey! i’m artemis, but call me artie! im a minor and my pronouns are they/she. they/them is preferred but honestly i don't really give a shit lmao. british (unfortunately)

currently really into the world ends with you. its taken over my life. send help.

im also really into RWBY, kingdom hearts, psychonauts, megaten ( mainly p3 and p4 though ) hollow knight, gravity rush and mother.

birthdays on the 12th of april <3

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discord: lunamura | i have frs turned off but just lmk if you wanna send me a fr!! 99% of the time i will accept it :)

bluesky: lunamura.bsky.social | not planning on using it much but it’s there lmao

icons from the dream drop distance novel, banners from the twewy anime

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i am extremely normal about neku sakuraba.