#drawing far right is for when they find out the world isn’t gonna end

[sleepyjaneart]

November sketches. Yep, still on my bullshit…

[oxydiane]

sns is so fucking unhinged and nobody will ever be them i’m sorry. you start the series and it’s like oh haha look at these goofy angsty rivals! they hate each other! then sasuke dies for naruto thirty chapters in giving up his dream of revenge and naruto goes batshit insane. now you’re like ah they’re friends i guess that’s cute! and sasuke is trying to kill naruto because he’s the most important person in his life which is . ok and it becomes the driving force of everything or something. sasuke leaves and naruto dedicates the rest of his life to bringing him back and you’re still a casual fan so ur like he’s doing it for the promise right? then orochimaru says sasuke is his and naruto goes batshit insane feral homicidal (again) and after that sasuke reappears and they have ??? like five different panels dedicated to them staring at each other??? and he jumps off a mountain and hugs naruto for some reasons just to whisper some gay shit in his ear kishimoto frankly needs to be jailed drawing this and keep that best friend nonsense going. anyways. you have sasuke become a convicted terrorist to which the normal people response is “ok we need to hunt him down” and when naruto learns they’re gonna hunt him down he starts screaming crying throwing up he has a panic attack he can’t breathe he’s falling in the snow he gets on his knees and begs them to spare his BFF. after having a meltdown over the thought of sasuke dying what may possibly be the natural coping mechanism any stable person would adapt? of course realising that if sasuke dies he can die too. so he sees sasuke again and after he attempts murdering sakura twice and expresses the intent to murder kakashi he’s like. i will bear the burden of your hatred and die with you hehe and if we both die you won’t be an uchiha and i won’t be the jinchuuriki to the nine tails and we’ll be able to understand each other better in a different lifetime! WE’LL MEET AGAIN IN THE AFTERLIFE BECAUSE NOT EVEN DEATH CAN DO US PART! and sasuke (just as insane as him) doesn’t even flinch he’s like what the fuck is wrong with you but then ok let’s fuckingggf die together on my god i will kill your first anyways . then they find out they are soulmates and get cute matching tattoos on their hands and decide to fight to the death once more because sasuke is back on his i will shoulder all the hatred of the world alone and i need to kill you because i love you more than anyone else in the world actually you’re the only person i love so you need to DIE and naruto is like I WILL NOT LET YOU SHOULDER THAT HATRED ALONE I WILL FREE YOU FROM THE PAIN and they fight and despite all the whatever weapons used in the war it’s a fuckinggg fistfight in which just as sasuke is about to inflict what he thinks is the last blow says “farewell… my one and only…………………. (very long pause to accentuate how heteronormative this next word is gonna be) FRIEND” and fucking stops using his sharingan because not even then he can record the image of naruto dying especially by his hand but naruto STOPS HIM LIKE A f cHAMP and they end up blowing each other’s arms off (rip the matchies) and as they’re bleeding to the fucking death sasuke is like you’re the only person that has never tried to severe their ties with me why do you go so far for me and naruto from the depths of comphet hell is like because you’re my FRIEND and sasuke being absolutely done with this bullshit is like ok what the fuck does that mean to you then and this is where it gets even gayer and relatable because naruto is like i don’t KNOW i just know that when you hurt i hurt and i just can’t take it and isn’t that the most gay experience thing ever? naruto knows what it feels like to have friends but what he feels for sasuke is so bone deep and unconventional that he cannot make sense of it and can only describe the pain it brings. after that sasuke CRIES LIKE THEYVE GOT ME SOOO FUCKED UP but you know what got me even more fucked up?

naruto waking up bloodied and battered and half alive with one arm missing but still wondering if that was heaven because sasuke was next to him. sasuke looking so happy and peaceful when saying “i lost” as a stark contrast to him looking and feeling like half of his body was being torn apart when he “won” against naruto in vote1 and left him. the bitterness of victory vs the sweetness of losing if you will. AND HIM COMPARING WHAT HE FEELS FOR NARUTO TO PRAYING MY GODD. did i forget to mention that then we learn that Ohhh it was never a stupid shallow rivalry as we all thought! they have actually been watching each other from afar since they were little freshly traumatised children and have longed to hold each other’s hands since then! what was it sasukeeee you felt warm and fuzzy when you saw naruto to thought of it as a weakness? these two are so astronomically hopelessly desperately obsessed in love with each other it’s ridiculous i’ve had ENOUGH free me from this mental prison

[yuseirra]

More about 159~

hahaha XD aw, GOSH this comic is CRAZY, I think it would be fun if I read it as books and in volumes, it's because it's incomplete, and scattered eps that things feel so tense and awkward, I'm sure. It'd have more sense of flow as a volume.

I wrote a lot of things based on my stream of consciousness this morning (because well I draw hikaai and I DO care a lot about character portrayals and analysis) and I want to share it with you all! I reread it after the heat of the moment and I find it really funny,

If you want to feel assured about Ai and Hikaru (and perhaps ONK as a whole) or like the ship hikaai, I feel this is another post that could help you. Like I said in my ch 159 review, if this ain't it, I have no idea where this is going to head and I might as well take a break off from this piece for a bit and get some air. P3R episode Aigis is coming out on the 10th (great timing!) but I think I'm on the right track. I got so many things right since I picked this up thus far :D So for now, here we go again:

This is just my intuition and a piece mostly based on gut feelings.

Ha;; This morning, I saw someone extremely worried about Kamiki and Ai and couldn’t leave them feeling uneasy... I’m not in a position to calm others down, though!! I'm the one who needs to be calmed!! give me time to brace myself!!! I get tense because I care about where the story's gonna go too!!! I analyze characters and make fan works. I HAVE to look into the source material and make sense of things in order to do that o<-< I’m really stuck with this manga, aren’t I? What a ride... Okay I know the character looks a bit out of it. But listen, even if we criticize the character, we should wait for the next chapter before doing so. Come on, what would Kamiki even LIE about in the first place? Let’s sit down and think calmly. Let’s go over the facts.

Honestly, it would have been better for Kamiki if Ai wasn’t an idol. If Ai hadn’t been an idol, Ai wouldn't have had to die for deciding to keep her very kids with him!! Ai was murdered because she was an idol who had a boyfriend and kids(it's an absurd reason but to Ryosuke, that was his reason to go through with it). If she hadn’t loved Kamiki, she wouldn’t have died. This isn’t Kamiki’s fault, of course!! To add, if Ai weren’t an idol, they might not have broken up in the first place. Even if they had broken up, Ryosuke wouldn’t have tracked Ai down and killed her!! Things would have been so much better for this character if Ai hadn’t been an idol. His situation on the matter, It's totally the opposite of Nino and Ryosuke’s!

To Kamiki, Ai was certainly one-of-a-kind and irreplacable, yeah. But from Kamiki’s perspective, Ai was never a perfect, flawless figure that he found the need to idolize. She was someone who learned acting from him, who was clumsy and scattered, who needed his guidance in the beginning. She shared the same pain, opened up to him, understood him, accepted him, and loved him. Even though she gave him a deep wound and they parted ways, even when he thought she didn’t love him anymore, she remained precious to him to the point where he was willing to give his life for her. She was the person he wanted to marry. Ryosuke and Nino would kill her for not being perfect enough, but that’s not who Kamiki is. He’s actually the biggest victim of that incident only after AI herself. If Ai had survived, he might have been able to meet their children, reunite with Ai, clear up misunderstandings, and more importantly, Ai would still be alive. That alone would have made life more bearable for Kamiki than living in a world without her. I keep saying this but I'm sure he wouldn't have leaked the address to Ryosuke on purpose. I wrote many theories about this and I came to a conclusion that it must have been a mistake on his end, after getting drunk from sadness after Ai dumped him in the phone call. What kind of mastermind could he even be regarding this case? He was 19 at the time. It's total nonsense. There is no reason for him to try and attack Ai who tells him she has their children growing smart and healthy. He's lying about it to Aqua to make him feel better about avenging him because he believed that's what him and Ai's wanted.

What kind of grand conspiracy could a character like this possibly be behind? At least when it comes to Ai’s death, I don’t think he’s responsible. Even if he grew mad, I feel like that would have taken place after it happened. So what is it that this character wants? I’ve been curious about that too-

When I heard anime S2's opening, I immediately realized!! He wants to see Ai again! Would Aqua say something like,

Aqua has Ruby, Kana, and Akane. He’s not going to live just to get closer to Ai or live solely for her love. Maybe to fulfill Ai’s wishes, but that’s different.

“Without you, I cannot live anymore

I would sacrifice anything for you

I can’t get enough of your love

What should I use to fill in what’s missing?”

If Kamiki has any goal, it’s this: He's never been seen to have a desire for Ai to be the ultimate, perfect idol. He’s not twisted that way. If he’s twisted, it’s more like, “I’ll give anything for Ai.”

Think about it. If someone you love died, what would you want most? You’d want them to live again, right? You wouldn’t go around committing serial murders saying, “No one can surpass them!” You’d just want to see them again if there was even the smallest chance. That’s the most important thing. Nino and Ryosuke are twisted. They liked Ai as an idol, not as a person. But this person has two cute kids with Ai... even though they never got to see them properly. He says he has paternal love, and I believe that because there’s no reason for him to hate the kids. He was prepared to take responsibility, after all. Wouldn’t he be happy about having kids with Ai? Wouldn’t he find them adorable, especially since they look so much like him and the one he loves? Seeing how much he still cares for Ai, he’d probably love their kids too. He refers to them as "Yours(Ai's) and mine". He’d probably want to bring Ai back for the sake of the kids, if not for himself. He even believes Ai died because of him, so that would only add to his desperation and longing. When someone dies, they can’t come back, so that possibility doesn’t usually cross the mind-

However, It seems that the songs are saying there is some kind of hope for that becoming a reality even if the chances are very slim. To think Kamiki would have wanted to preserve Ai’s image as an idol and that's what's been driving him? No way. That’s exactly what killed Ai. He’d probably be sick of that... He just wants Ai to live. That’s his motive. He’s been hanging onto that.

As for the Hikaai ship, I had been holding off on judgment until Ai’s feelings came out. I felt like I won’t know until I hear from Ai herself how she feels about him so I waited out for quite long till the entirety of the movie arc, until it got its closure-

And it really occurs to me, people don’t seem to realize how much thought and conviction it takes for Ai to feel that strongly about a person.

Ai is scared, has a sensitive soul, overthinks things, is defensive, and gets wary. She’s afraid to love and get close to people because she doesn't want to get hurt.

But Ai couldn't give up Kamiki’s child because they were what she had with him, even while she was afraid it would be a burden to him!! Do you know how much certainty, affection, and love that takes? It doesn’t seem to resonate with people as much as it does for me, it's such a deep and strong feeling. That's what really got me. She was scared, but she still wanted them because they were theirs...and she protected their children with all her heart that point onward.

This kind of love is something that you might encounter just once in your lifetime, you might never get to meet someone like that at all.

So I thought, “Good for Ai. She found someone she loved that much.” Kamiki must have been a really precious person to Ai to make her feel that way.

In my opinion, for someone to make Ai feel like that, they would have to be the kind of person who would give out their every part of their organ, even their heart to her if that's necessary, and still think it’s not enough. And when you listen to the songs, the speaker does really seems to express that kind of emotion. That's why I thought 'Oh, this is definitely Ai's lover. This is Kamiki that's saying these things.'

You have to trust Ai’s judgment. Ai is serious about love, and she found someone to give it to. He's the one person she decided on. She wanted to live her life with him, worried about him until the end, named her children after jewels because they looked like the one she loved. Had her son who takes after his dad so much have the characters "love" and "longing" in his name. That’s how much she adored him.

What does that tell you? And when you look at the backstory, it seems Kamiki thought he loved Ai even more than she loved him.

Then that must mean he must have treated her really well. So, it’s not about whether Kamiki loved Ai or not anymore. That's totally just a given!! What’s important now is what he has done since Ai's death.

In chapter 155, he said he was "going to do what he could for Ai" and left. Then Aqua showed up near him in this chapter saying, “I need to save you.”

When you listen to the songs, the narrator keeps saying they don’t mind dying. This is a character who has already said they could die for Ai. So what will they do? I think they’re planning to die “for Ai.” But is offering something for Ai or dying for her really what Ai would want? No. Ai would want Kamiki to live and be happy, and they know that, but they’re lying to themselves. That’s the lie this character tells. It’s a self-sacrificing but self-satisfying kind of thing. That's why Aqua says the lies "are for his own sake". This also explains why Ai left a message asking to help Kamiki. This character is someone who could go to extremes "for Ai", but Ai didn’t want that, which is why Aqua is trying to stop it.

If this isn’t the case, then I won’t be able to make sense of this manga... Haha, the Persona 3 DLC will be out soon, so I’ll just go play that...

This feels right to me, though. If it’s not, I don’t know what else it could be;;

Maybe Kamiki's been possessed by an evil god? But even if that’s the case, the motive he has would probably still be about "saving Ai".

On another note, Kamiki was so gentle and kind in his tone when speaking to Aqua. He spoke really softly, didn’t he?

If he had been able to raise the kids with Ai, he would have been the type to pamper and spoil them... He'd have been a sweet dad. I feel like Ai really did choose a good guy to father her kids.

The way he speaks to Aqua feels quite similar to the last lines and atmosphere of the lyrics of Mephisto.. something about it will be brought up soon, I mean Aqua's wearing that same clothes.

To Kamiki, Aqua must be his and Ai’s cute son, right? But does he know Aqua’s soul is originally that of a 30-something-year-old doctor? If he’s possessed by an evil god, maybe he is aware of these things. But if he doesn’t, it might be a bit awkward. His son is almost the same age as him inside...

Aqua is Aqua, though? But that thought still made me laugh a little. I could imagine Kamiki suddenly speaking very formally towards Aqua upon figuring out he's actually the doc who aided Ai with delivering his children safely. Kamiki seems like the type to speak with a lot of courtesy... the way he speaks has been very polite. It depends on the character, but I think that is part of how he is originally.

[lost-decade]

Just found the spreadsheet I created with the Wimbledon draw for my FE tennis AU and remembered I set myself the goal of finishing the damn thing by the end of actual IRL Wimbledon 2024. Which is not that far away fuuuuck. Also have two trips and busy times at work coming up

Someone make me start writing asap. Sharing a bit to hype myself up lol

It’s late afternoon by the time James is done with everything, thankful that he managed to dispatch Bird in just under two and a half hours after the epic battle he’d had with D’Ambrosio the other night. The air is still cloying as he makes his way to the Player’s Lounge, humid even though the weather has broken a little. The ground is damp, play suspended on the outer courts and the roof drawn over on Centre and Court One now. It must have tipped it down while he was in the presser.

The roof freaks him out, if he’s completely honest. This morning, before the match, he’d looked at the weather forecast and felt his stomach sink. There’s something claustrophobic about it, the lights, the echo, it never feels right, not here. It’s different in Melbourne, and at the US. Something about playing on Centre with the roof over sends his blood pressure into a spike, he’d almost prefer to go back to the old days of rain delays and endless waiting. Maybe that’s partly why he went out there with such ruthlessness today. Get it done.

He finds André in the Players’ Lounge, grazing on a salad and drinking a lurid green protein shake. “The King of the one-handed backhand,” he announces when he sees James. “Congrats man, that was a masterclass.”

“Thanks. Great win for you too, Frijns is a tough opponent. Still up for dinner later?” James asks, slipping into the seat next to him and popping the tab on a can of Coke Zero. André leans back in his chair, stretching his arms above his head. “Yeah sure, Nobu or this…not much of a contest.” One of André’s favourite things to do at Wimbledon is to complain how the food in the restaurant isn’t as good quality as at Roland-Garros. James rolls his eyes but he’s eager to get out of here too. “I knew you were gonna win today, could feel it in my bones.” André drops his arm around James’ shoulder, giving him an affectionate squeeze.

“There’s life in the old knee yet.”

“They’re in a frenzy for you here you know,” André drawls, abandoning his salad with a face and pushing the bowl away. “You heard they’ve renamed the hill? It’s Rossiter Ridge now.” He dissolves into laughter, James following suit, hiccoughing into André’s shoulder. This is what he’s going to miss, almost as much as playing competitive tennis himself. How many people can say they get to travel the world with their best friend year after year. When he regains his composure and looks up, Pascal Wehrlein is scowling at them across the room.

“These young guys are so boring,” André complains, flipping his fellow countryman the finger as soon as Pascal’s back is turned. “Next Gen. I swear none of them know how to have fun anymore, media darlings with their entourages and Netflix documentaries. Half of them probably never got their dick sucked in their lives.”

“You’re still pissed off about that Laver Cup match last year I see.” James shakes his head, even though he does get it.

“He shouldn’t be in the Laver Cup if he doesn’t understand how a team works. That was the worst doubles match I’ve ever played in my life, it was a fucking nightmare. Anyway, been following this?” André points over to the TV. James shakes his head, looking up in time to see Jev hit a return wide, losing him the match. Mortara shakes his hand at the net before throwing his wristbands up into the crowd, the camera panning to Jev for a moment as he sits down at his bench gathering his things together. “Unfair that he looks so hot even when he loses,” André bemoans.

[looptroupe]

At the end of part 6 Lupin got VERY close to killing Goemon

What if Jigen didnt shoot the gun out of his hand on time

I need to preface this with the simple fact that I LOATHE part 6. I’ve tried and tried and tried to love it, and it’s… complicated. There are sparks of greatness there, there really are! And I’m a Brit, so seeing Lupin & co cruise through London? Yeah. That’s pretty cool. Or, yknow, it would have been, if the backgrounds weren’t descaled stock images. That said, I’ll try my best just for you anon. 🫡

I’d like to think that ‘sleeper agent Lupin’ has a little more control over himself than is shown. I can’t find it in me (in good faith) to genuinely believe that he would ever, under almost any circumstance, hurt any of the gang. He’s in there somewhere, and we know that Lupin can do incredible things when he puts his mind to it. That said, if he had hit Goemon…

Jigen would never forgive himself, I don’t think. Not quick enough, not smart enough, not sharp enough… he strikes me as the kind of man to stew quietly on a mistake like that. He’s not gonna voice how he’s feeling to anyone, but the others can feel it in the way he’s taken to drawing his gun that little bit quicker. He doesn’t hesitate anymore, maybe they leave heists with a few more bodies littering the ground. He’s certainly much less considerate for a while. There isn’t space for compassion if his companions could get hurt. He comes off as more violent, when really, he’s just more high-strung. He needs time to relax into their rhythm again and things will even out, but for now, he isn’t taking any chances. Especially not when he could have the weight of someone’s life on his shoulders.

When Lupin comes around, he’s terrified. Naturally, he masks this fear with his usual blasé attitude, but to those that know him, he might as well be biting his nails. Goemon is his friend. One of his closest, dearest, friends. And to Lupin, no treasure is more important. The people he keeps close are there for a reason— he loves them, he loves their company, they’re important to him— and so, knowing that he could have seriously injured (or, God forbid, killed) one of them? He feels cold to the core. His first instinct is anger. Anger at himself, anger at anyone in his way, anger at whoever orchestrated the whole thing. That anger takes longer to fade than usual. He’s on high-alert in their heists, now, and he’s even more self-critical than usual. He refuses to eat or sleep until his plans are foolproof, he tinkers with gadgets until they’re perfect, he takes far less chances than usual. He reverts back into the Lupin they likely first started working with, and like Jigen, he comes across as far colder. A little more calculating. Certainly a little more manipulative. Though the outside world seems none the wiser, considering he’s just as jovial and entertaining— as far as they can tell— as he usually is.

Goemon… oh, poor Goemon. He’s okay, right? You’re not gonna make me write that he’s dead, right? (Jokes on you, I don’t write much angst. You’re getting alive and well Goemon.) …makes a rather miraculous recovery! (Ha!)

Naturally, this comes with its own issues. He’s totally out of commission for a solid six months, at the very least, and he’s left— to his chagrin— totally at Lupin and Jigen’s mercy. As ruthless as the two of them have become on heists, at home, they’re closer than ever. Jigen dotes on Goemon, and has learned a handful of authentic recipes he might never have picked up otherwise. He’s taken to tending to Zantetsuken, too, even if it’s always under Goemon’s watchful, ever-critical, eye. Lupin, on his part, is still not allowed anywhere near Zantetsuken, though this is more a reflection of his Lupin-isms than it is the whole shooting fiasco, and instead has made it his mission to force Goemon into watching movies with him.

Lupin confides in Goemon about his plans. He checks constantly for a second opinion, and his frantic pantomiming of whatever scheme he’s cooked up this time keeps Goemon mildly entertained. It’s a great comfort to Lupin to have Goemon’s level-headed attitude present around the hideout consistently, and though Goemon has been incredibly critical about the logistics of ‘The Wizard of Oz’, he’s come to find that the Samurai makes a great plot-hole finder. The two of them have taken to blasting popular films on Letterboxd, if only to laugh (or smirk, and insist stubbornly that he isn’t, in Goemon’s case) at the incensed replies they get from die-hard fans.

Fujiko comes and goes, visiting more frequently in the beginning. She often drops little gifts off for Goemon (things she’s picked up in Japan, most likely) and pretends that she has no idea where they came from. As if she’d have the time for all that, anyway. She’s a busy girl, you know? Though, she’d love to know if Goemon enjoyed the konpeitō Jigen found on the hearth. Just because she’s curious.

Zenigata, having witnessed the whole thing, has quietly defended Lupin’s honour. While he certainly can’t say anything publicly, he’s been a forum warrior and a staunch advocate for ‘slimy-and-a-pain-in-the-ass’ Lupin, rather than ‘now-blatantly-evil’ Lupin. Because he might hate Lupin’s guts— or at least pretend to— but deep down, he’s offended at the mere insinuation that Lupin is morally corrupt. They might be opposites, but Zeni can respect Lupin’s unshifting personal morals if nothing else.

[distortedclouds]

Annie's bonus PoV of Black Water

Set: Chapter 20

Word count: 2k

Tags: Angst

“You know,” Annie murmurs, letting one of her hands trace a line from the center of his abdomen, up the ridges of his muscles to the midpoint of his chest, and then a little to the side. “I’ve been saying shit like ‘I had doubts’ and ‘I wasn’t sure’ and… while that’s all true, I… for a few days back then, I really thought I was pregnant, Armin,” she says, catching the violent thumbing of his heart beneath her palm, a storm just for her. Annie wishes she could see his face right now, but looking into his eyes, she’d probably not be able to find any of the right words, let alone the courage to speak them.

They were only four days. Four short days that Annie would look at herself in the bathroom mirror, meet her own wide-eyed gaze, almost panicked, and then glance down. It had all felt so real back then. The possibility was a reality in some parts of her brain, and that was more than enough for her; that she was going to become a parent in a few months’ time.

Her and Armin.

“I actually started counting the days,” she muses with a small laugh. Maybe that was actually ridiculous of her, a little too hopeful and all up in her own head over a small possibility. “It felt a bit weird, overwhelming, maybe, that in less than nine months, I’d be able to hold her in my arms.”

“Her?” The question comes out almost instantaneously, only mildly muted against the fluff of the pillow.

“Problem?” On his chest and through his ribs, Annie can feel the racing of his heart. Whether it’s excitement or horror, she can’t tell-

“None,” he rasps out, breathless, which is easy to explain, since he’d stopped breathing for a moment there, relying on the air pulled in through a single gasp.

She can now swallow the lump in her throat, lips pulling into a soft smile and she sighs; the tension in her shoulders draws out of her like a single, loose string as she reaches to intertwine their fingers together, feeling his slightly bigger hands in hers. To think that both her and Armin had shared a similar vision on opposite ends of the spectrum. That had she actually told him back then of who she thought she was growing in her abdomen, he would’ve had an identical reaction. A type of love and curiosity for the unknown that she’d only ever seen in Armin’s blue eyes. Ones she hopes he’d pass down.

“I think she’s gonna end up really short,” she holds back her excitement but still ends up with a small laugh that flutters in her chest. His lungs jump under her palm in a similar gesture.

“She’ll have tall uncles to sit on their shoulders.” Annie thinks of how Reiner easily towers over both her and Armin. How, despite him being a bit of an asshole, he seems to be good with young kids. At least, if she’s gonna go by how much those two—Falco and Gabi—seem to like and look up to him. “She’d have no problem seeing over large crowds.”

“I know Hitch’s gonna spoil her rotten, if given the chance,” she grumbles, trying to convince herself it’s a bad thing, but maybe it won’t be. Maybe having a vaguely corrupt aunt would help her gain confidence and raise her voice when necessary, not taking anyone’s bullshit to heart.

“Mikasa will tell her plenty of stories,” Armin says and Annie hums in approval. She’d never known Mikasa to be of the talkative type, but if there was anyone she was going to trust her daughter to—other than Armin—it’ll definitely be Mikasa.

Annie taps her fingers repeatedly against his chest; counting. She’s going to be surrounded by so many people that love and cherish her. Although, if she catches on to Connie’s awful sense of humor, Annie might actually have to resort to capital punishment.

The world isn’t perfect, far from it, but they might be able to carve out a small space for her to live a good life. She’ll have everything: “She’ll have an amazing father who’ll kiss her goodnight after checking under her bed and closet for monsters.” 

Armin’s going to be there. At the very center of her world. He’s going to make sure she’s alright; she’s safe and sound and loved. His soft eyes and gentle hands fend away all nightmares and worrisome thoughts. Annie would be able to stand by the door, a little to the side, and watch little eyes skitter to him at the clap of thunder in the distance or a creaky floorboard in the attic, he’ll smile and reassure her every time, and she’s going to believe him.

“He’ll teach her everything about this world so she doesn’t fear it,” she says, almost in a dreamy haze, squeezing at his fingers for emphasis when she feels his breathing becoming airy, like he, too, isn’t entirely here in this very moment.

“She’ll also have the most wonderful mother,” Her fingers inadvertently twitch between his. “Who’ll take her on long walks and carry her back home when she’s tired.”

… of course, yeah! Annie will… also be there.

She won’t be a distant spectator to her and Armin. She’d also be there. She’d be her mother.

Annie nods with a small hum, though he can’t see it.

“I’ll tell her of how her mother loved and adored her before she even got here,” Armin says, almost singing out the words as they sound like honey dripping from his mouth. How come he always knows everything?

She slips one of her hands from his gentle grip, watching the motion intently as she meets her palm to her stomach. Beyond the initial inhale, Annie can’t breathe.

It no longer feels as painful, thinking about the possibility of growing a life inside her, now that she knows Armin’s going to be alongside her every step of the way. Those four days might’ve not been this torturous had she had his hand on her stomach, right next to hers; reading to her, kissing her, and leaning down to listen when there was nothing to yet hear.

Perhaps, it would be so easy to let affection swell in her chest when she finally gets to hold her in her arms, a small body that fits just right in the crooks of her elbows and a small head that’d find warmth and peace against her chest. Small eyes, as bright blue as Armin’s, would look up at her, hair a rich, golden yellow that’d beautifully reflect the rays of sunlight, a cute button nose that she’d kiss with every chance she gets.

Pause.

A child… can’t be an identical copy of their father. Annie’s going to be there, too. She’ll see bits of herself, maybe in pale blonde hair, a strong nose, or a-

No.

Absolutely not!

When people look at her—at her daughter—if they’re constantly reminded she’s Armin’s then… maybe they wouldn’t be as harsh. Perhaps, they’d be reminded that this little girl will smile and laugh a lot. That she’ll be curious and kind and gentle and-

And nothing like Annie. She-

“She’ll be good,” Annie says out loud once her lungs capture enough air to wheeze out her narrow throat.

“Annie?” His free hand beelines to the pillow still on his face, but Annie, in her rising panic, moves faster, pressing it down and keeping it on place with both hands.

“I’ll… do my best,” her voice is so small it’s unable to withstand the journey up her constricting airway, crumbling at the edges by the time it reaches the room’s ambient air. Her hands on the pillow begin to shake, arms growing weak, muscles that have long served as her source of pride now fail her. A couple of failed inhales, her vision becomes blurry she might as well be looking through a rain-soaked glass window. “She’ll be good, I promise.”

Maybe if, for once, fate is on their side—or just plain luck—they’d have a daughter that’s the spitting image of her father. One that’s bright and loud. One that’s courageous and adventurous and curious. One that’s easy to love.

In one fell swoop motion, the pillow is snatched from under her hands and then she can see him.

And Armin sees her.

Her arms retreat to herself, her shoulders almost snapping her collarbones as they attempt to fold inward. Tighter, tighter, tighter trying to constrict herself to a smaller space. Smaller things are harder to grab, but Annie knows that’s not true.

One glance confirms that he’s not looking away, eyes wide, deep blue hiding behind the stark black of enlarged pupils, as he begins to push himself up but Annie wants him to stop. She can’t—she shouldn’t—continue looking at him knowing what she’d do to his daughter. How he’d trust her to be the mother of his child when Annie might doom her to a wretched fate before she even took her very first breath.

“H-Hey…” he whispers, tentatively reaching a hand towards her, but Annie flinches away.

No, not yet! He needs- Armin needs to understand that she’s going to do her absolute best! That Annie won’t half-ass it, that she means it- “I promise.”

Armin shakes his head, left to right, right to left, slowly, eyes not leaving hers.

He doesn’t believe her.

Annie nods, arms dropping to wrap tightly around her stomach, where her own very first sin was going to manifest, but she needs him to believe her! To trust her! “Armin, I promise. She’ll be good.”

It gets frightening when she can no longer see him. Her vision growing fully blurry and distorted around the edges with tears. She won’t be able to tell whether he’s angry with her or not. She won’t be able to tell when it’ll finally dawn on him, that Annie isn’t making shit up, that she’s being serious in both her caution and her promise. She won’t be able to see the moment in his eyes when he agrees.

Her legs refuse to move, so do her arms, and Annie remains frozen when the shadow of his image approaches her, closer and closer until his face slips beyond her line of vision to the side and his arms wrap around her shoulders. She still quivers even when it makes her feel a little better, somewhat safer and she wishes—and hopes and prays and begs—he’d do the same with her daughter whenever she’s afraid, so she never has to cry or tremble alone. She can. She absolutely can, just- “She’ll be nothing like me.”

“Don’t say that,” his voice, raw and wounded and a shaky whisper in her ear and she wonders when it became like that. His arms circle her middle and support her back and Annie can’t breathe, relying instead on sobs that tear at her throat for whatever air she could get. “Annie, don’t say that.”

“I don’t- hic! I don’t want her to grow up thinking,” her voice seems to be breaking out of her chest in shattered cries and weeps, but she can barely hear herself over the sharp beating in her ears, over the blood deafening her and the turmoil fogging her very thoughts, “that she needs to be useful just for us to want and love her.”

“That won’t happen.”

“Yeah…, because she’ll be a good kid,” Annie breaks down sobbing against his shoulder, finally ripping her hands from her middle to wrap around him, instead, a plea for him not to leave her; not now and not when he eventually realizes she’d not what he wants. Pushing her front as flush as possible against his, maybe she’ll feel less lost and less terrified and less of everything if her heart can listen to his and mimic its rhythm, oh, so full of love and adoration. Maybe if he holds her hard enough, this will all go away and she wouldn’t have to worry about the world outside of these four walls if Armin’s here with her. If Armin’s here with them- “it’ll be easy for you to love her. She won’t-- She won’t deserve a life like ours!”

There’s a pause, where only one hand glides in repeating lines up and down her spine and she refuses to open her eyes to ask what it was that Armin whispered in a low response, mouth pressed against her shoulder as she continues to grieve.

[good-lord-not-books]

MHA428 SPOILERS BELOW and my ramblings on it and what I think is coming in the future.

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I get why Toga is confirmed dead. It SUUUUUUCKS but. Uraraka and Deku are going through the same emotions right now, and I think THIS is what sets up the story for the future. The world didn’t magically learn “oh villains are people too.” It has to be taught to the world. And I think the final chapters are going to be Deku, Uraraka, and Spinner all sharing their direct stories about what they experienced with the villains. Bring humanity to them in the way the media didn’t.

And we have Hawks in a good position of power and Enji stepping down. He’s not trying to extend glory days or “gain redemption” as a hero. He stepped down when people still hated him, but he’s more worried about trying to help his family (finally). As far as I can tell by the dialogue with him and Rei, it seems like their events WILL be publicized and people will know that Endeavor is STILL seeing his villain son.

Hell, I can see the whole publicity thing being the next catalyst for change in their world. When you got heroes doing “debuts” and giving interviews and expecting to be “on” and have a “hero personality” it fucks up perception. And of course the exploitation of it all - Aizawa was like “I told the news to fuck off for the kids sake.” The people being interviewed and the news trying to find out who Shigi was…by asking the public who hated him. I think the media I s gonna be the next hit but of course that’s not as entertaining and not full of in depth battles Hori can draw. Maybe we will get post light novels.

All this to say. All these things together is making a way for the future. We aren’t gonna get the bow tied ending, and as much as I would LOVE a happy ending where the conflicts above are addressed, we are going off on a somber note. And I appreciate Hori for that - I think it’s also nice that he isn’t giving a view of the future so people can make their own conclusions of how these plot lines develop further. (And with me being a Dabi Stan I can theorize how he can be reverted back to his previous scarred self so he can go sneak out and get soba with Shoto).

Unless we get By Bero Bacademia ala the Boruto of Naruto, but I don’t think so.

[lampmanliveblogs]

While the rest of the Hexside students distract Kikimora, our heroes have just enough time to draw up the complicated teleportation circle… with a bit of help from Luz’ palisman, who has yet to take on its true final form.

Kikimora is able to shake off the attacking kids long enough to take one last shot, just as Luz activates the teleportation array and and a brilliant flash of light, their whisked away from danger and into the vast cranium of the Titan.

There they stand now, under The Collector’s Archive House, so close, yet so far away. For I fear that the hardest part is yet to come…

Listen, I don’t know anything about Star Trek, but I do know that ”Beam us up Scotty” is a Star Trek reference. So yeah, shoutout to that, as well as Camila coming out as a fellow Cosmic Frontier fan, which also doubles as a light-hearted reference to the fact that Hunter, like O’Bailey, is a clone.

And let’s not forget Amity and Willow being best friends again, that’s super precious too. You love to see it.

Alright, first things first, I love the guesses the squad had.

Camila guessed a dragon, because dragons are THE fantasy creature, and she knows how much Luz loves her fantasy books.

Hunter guesses a bird, not just because of Flapjack, but because Eda (and the rest of the Clawthorne family) has a bird palisman.

Amity guesses an otter, which is a callback to Enchanting Grom Fright, when Luz wondered if she should go to Grom dressed as an otter… with a dark side!

Willow guesses a bat because…. because… um… Bat-Queen? Maybe? They did have that excursion in the Bat-Queen’s forest back in Escape of the Palisman.

And finally, Gus throws out snake. And I’m going to be honest with you guys, I might’ve maybe had a few hints at what Luz’ palisman was gonna be. Enough to figure out it was a snake, or more accurately, snake-related.

As far as in-show foreshadowing goes… at the top of my head, last episode we had a bunch of snake imagery around Luz. We had her finding the ”snake pajamas” in Camila’s nightmare/flashback, we had Luz wearing that shirt with a staff and a snake on it, and I think she might’ve had a drawing of a snake in her notebook? As far back as episode one of season one, Luz was playing with snakes and I think Camila might’ve even said something about Luz making some friends that weren’t reptiles. That’s not even to mention the fact that Luz’ newly adopted sister is a snake.

So yeah, there’s been plenty of snakes around Luz. But of course, this isn’t just any old snake, it’s a…

A SNAKESHIFTER. You guys know I love a good pun. And just like Vee, this little cutie is a shapeshifter. Which is so perfect for Luz, the child of two worlds, a chaotic being, always on the move.

Her name is Stringbean! Now, David ”Stringbean” Akeman was an American singer-songwriter, musician, comedian, and semi-professional baseball player. String bean is also one alternate name for green beans. You can also call them haricot verts, if you wanna charge extra.

So yeah, I gotta agree with Luz here: she’s perfect! She is Luz' own infinite potential given physical form.

Now that things have calmed down just a little, Willow takes the opportunity to thank Hunter for his words before, he really helped her, and he means a lot to her too. and then they blush and almost hold hands and it’s so cute.

In fact, it’s almost a little too cute, I’m starting to get nervous here. Because surely, they’re gonna end the episode on a cliffhanger, and there’s only just over a minute left of the episode…

But before that, I’m gonna get what might very well be the last cute screenshot of this episode.

Look at the babies! Look at them!

Aaaaaaand there we have it. Good vibes ended. The camera pans upward to The Collector overlooking our heroes, with Raine still possessed by Philip looming behind them, ready to whisper yet more poisonous words into the ear of the Lord of the Fireflies.

”I think I wanna play a new game.”

And with a snap of their fingers, The Collector ends the episode right then and there as everything goes black.

Treat me like I'm evil Freeze me till I'm cold Beat me till I'm feeble Grab me till I'm old

Fry me till I'm tired Push me till I fall Treat me like a criminal Just a shadow on the wall!

[twilightmalachite]

PORTRAIT - Ah, still delay—thou art so ■■■ 11

Author: Akira

Characters: Akiomi, Izumi

Translator: Mika Enstars

"Magic? What’s that supposed to mean? Are you stupid?"

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Winter

Location: Department Store's Furniture Area

Izumi: I started modeling ‘cause Papa and Mama told me to.

That I should model, ‘cause I’m the most cute and most beautiful. They said that everyone should tell me how cute and adorable I am, and that I deserve to be loved.

I hate the modeling staff ‘cause they’re always getting angry at me, unlike Papa and Mama.

But Yuu-kun, only Yuukun, was always kind and cute.

I got to see him around during work a lot… I’d wonder about him ‘cause he was always alone.

He’d answer me when I spoke to him. He wouldn’t say much, but he’d do his best to reply every time I talked to him…

I had started modeling earlier and was his senior, so I taught him a lot of things he didn’t know.

Izumi: And that would make him happy. Yuu-kun looks really cute when he smiles.

I wanted to see more of that smile, so I’d always be looking for him. And when I’d find him, I’d talk to him lots and give him my candy I couldn’t finish—

And that alone would make him so very happy.

Yuu-kun’s a good boy. The goodest boy in the world. He always makes me feel happy.

He listens to everything I say, and is happy with whatever I gift to him, even if they’re things I didn’t want. He’s really such a good boy. Isn’t he?

Akiomi: ……

Akiomi: …The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it?

Izumi: ? I’m not talking about apples right now! I’m talking about Yuu-kun, which is important!

Akiomi: Right, right.

Izumi: Poor Yuu-kun’s Papa is gone, and his Mama is sick and all alone, you know, so I have to be with him.

But my Papa and Mama keep getting in the way, so I don’t need them anymore. I don’t want Papa and Mama—They’re a bother, so I’m done with them.

I’m gonna live here with Yuu-kun.

You can come too as long as you don’t get in our way. You’re more helpful and nicer than other adults, so I don’t mind you.

I can hire you as a servant, if you want.

Akiomi: What are you, a king?

Akiomi: (Ahh, I’m kinda jealous. Sena-kun, the scenario you’re drawing in that little head of yours is a fairy tale that all the adults would make fun of.)

(Like the ones with kings, princes, and princesses… The heroes of those fairy tales are invincible, loved by God, and can overcome any ordeal.)

(And at the end, they achieve a happy ending.)

(Then the prince and the princess, after destroying all evil, are united by love and live happily ever after. Happily ever after…)

(A fairy tale ending.)

Izumi: Hey, are you listening? Are you gonna reply?

Akiomi: …Ah, sorry. I got a little lost in thought.

(Well, I’m not sure what to do…)

(I could scold these childrens for their childish decisions and send them back home to their parents—The “adult thing to do”…)

(Deafen my ears to the children’s protests, take their hands by force, and drag them out of their fairy tale world back to reality.)

(I don’t have any other choice, do I? There’s nothing else someone like I can do for these children, is there?)

Izumi: …Kunugi, -senpai.

Akiomi: Ah, yeah? It’s okay, I’m listening!

Though, actually, umm… Let’s go back to Yuuki-kun for now. He must be lonely all by himself.

Izumi: You’re right. I found some makeup on the way back from the bathroom and got super distracted… I’ve, ehehe, I’ve been interested in them for a while.

Akiomi: Makeup is magic, isn’t it?

Izumi: Magic? What’s that supposed to mean? Are you stupid?

Akiomi: Hehe. You’re lucky, Sena-kun, that I’m a rational adult who doesn’t immediately resort to violence!

Izumi: Don’t pretend you’re an adult. You’re just a kid, too.

…Nevermind that. Look, over there.

Akiomi: Huh?

???: ……

Akiomi: ? What’s that over there? Some sorta costume…?

The department store sells things like that too, huh? Or, maybe it’s a prop the film crew left behind?

Izumi: No, that thing—Isn’t it moving?

???: ……

Akiomi: Huh? Wha? I can’t see too well… My eyesight’s been getting worse and worse, probably since I’ve been studying so hard for my entrance exams lately…

???: ……

Izumi: I-I’m telling you, it’s moving! It’s coming over here!

Akiomi: …!?

Izumi: W-Wha-What is that? Wait, I don’t know what’s going on, I'm scared…!

[ ☆ ]

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[atiny-piratequeen]

I’m glad I could be any help 🤗🤗🤗 I won’t hesitate to alert you of more potential ataraxia deep dives and world building ideas once they come my way…

With that in mind, whos the rarest monsters? Cause I feel like the interactions between

member-monster -> you -> others of their kind

is very different, and the way they would have you interact with their world is very much dependent on their species’ rarity.

Cause for woo, if he’s the only being left, I can understand his party attitude acting as a tiny bandaid to the large wound of being the last of his kind—but if he isn’t!!! That’s the big problem cause I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate someone of matching or stronger magics to interfere with what he grows with you. Idk if he would feel secure in a future with you if he knew that he wasn’t the only one there with his being that could potentially tamper with your fate the way he could. I also think he would go absolutely ballistic of another of his kind threatened his livelihood on a scale where only he can defend it.

Hellhounds for me seem like solitary creatures despite being dogs, or it could be the hard topic of discussion for you and yuyu. Cause if he was part of pack, idk how he could handle another his kind finding humor or other unsavory thoughts in concerns of your relationship with yuyu.

We already got a glimpse of Hwa so the siren folk seem so beautiful and open minded (from what we witnessed so far) but at the same time, I feel like joong is holding out on some thoughts because of his former humanity.

Mingi, sang, Jongho give me similar territorial vibes but in their own ways. Dragons give me solitary vibes but at the same time, very much “would ally with an enemy dragon against dragon hunters/dragon enemies without a second thought”.

Fae and incu-sucu-buses I feel like are very protective and competitive beings and the mere thought of others of their kind coming to steal their treasures for themselves sets them off in their worst ways.

Also, did you already give a hint for what San is cause I’m drawing a massive blank trying to comprehend what he was 🤔🤔🤔

i think im gonna just put you and gaia down as my ATX verse cowriters bc honestly I wouldn't have made it to this without yall picking my brain and making that hamster on that wheel start running huehue

as far as rarety goes, Woo would be at the top here. He's not the ONLY eldrich being in existence (might fuck around and add nods to my rp verses in here and throw in eldrich Lee Minho and eldrich Yeonjun for giggles who knows depends on how Im feeling that day-) so yes def a big uh oh potential there. He's not the only one, but he's one of the most active. The Elder Gods usually lay dormant and observe in a hibernative state but Woo has like....cosmic adhd man he cant still if you paid him so it started with him walking amongst the stars and observing and ended up with him amongst the people of our humble little space rock because author fie said so *wheeze*

after him would be Mingi, since dragons don't just make babies left and right and they also have a very intricate incubation period once their eggs are laid. and even then, its like rolling a gatcha to see if the egg will even hatch or if it's a dud with nobody home. (Dragon eggs are really expensive though so you can imagine Mingi is a bit...fucking batshit feral around his eggs and when it comes to protecting them)

everyone else is on the more common side. Seaborns are..well, born, or transformed, fae are born rather frequently, same with Incubi/Succubi, and after them the more uncommon would be Manticores (San) and Hellhounds (Yunho). Not super extremely rare, but the manticores are endangered and most of the Hellhounds are...still in Hell. or they prefer to hang around cemeteries scaring the shit out of teenagers idk.

Hellhounds are usually more solitary in this verse but Yuyu still retains his Golden Retriever status so he tends to hang around his besties. Plus I have some lore for how he met some of the others and became intertwined in this 8 way band of idiots from very very different walks of life. So he's an anomaly in his own right behaviour-wise.

Hongjoong is def jaded from trauma, and usually keeps to himself guiding and leading their Oceanic village until he has to come above for Business Time(tm), but he does very much enjoy all of his non equatic boyos (folks say you don't pick favorites, Hongjoong will laugh at you and say the 9 foot tall dog and the 10 foot tall winged lizard are his favorites anyway)

San is probably one of the more solitary out of them because of the endangerment status of manticores. He's more social around them all and Wooyoung and him get on thick as thieves (because of course they do, you expect me to not glue WooSan to the hip? cmon now-) but he's a bit more distrusting of the world around him compared to the others (*cough* Yeosang, Yunho *cough*) Mingi has his own den as well but since the boys became besties, there are enchantments he can put on them (thanks, Woo, thanks Yeo-) that protect his area when he's away to help out with anything the others need.

Jongho would be competitive but he uh. Has a bit of a dilemma. He's an incubi whos never had a "proper" meal. So he kind of just. feeds off of the folks around him when he can be around that but he's a bit of a struggle bus at the moment until I decide who he's getting matched with. Also, he still is the youngest of all of them so he's full of untapped potential. Please save him.

and yes I said it a few times here but for clarity, San is a Manticore. Big heckin kitty

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

I’m Valid As Ficto-Aroaceflux & Nonbinary-Woman/Girl Flag (2023)

--------------------

[Note: Don’t Reblog Without Permission.] 

I decided to post one more drawing up, but this will be the last one until a few days later or like if I decide to have it be a bit more days, then maybe until next month...?

I had to make the drawing I did that is suppose to be the same flag as this one, much smaller so I could use it as a Avatar on tumblr, plus there was editing I had to do so it would show the full image and not just half of the heart part as well as the spade part.

while the “Heart” can have to do with attraction or very little attraction or no attraction, the diamond is suppose to house one’s gender identity, like it either being Binary, Nonbinary, Transgender and you can add to it probably by splitting the image of the diamond.

like if someone is both Nonbinary & Transgender, they can maybe put one half on the top of the diamond with the Nonbinary Flag & the bottom half for the Transgender Flag, or instead of one being on the top and one being at the bottom, one will be on the left and the other will be on the right side of the diamond.

and even if I am really not sure if I am Intersex or not, and it would be nice if they had a home blood type test tell you if you are or not, and I can’t tell my family of my suspecting I might be because what I remembered from when I was little (and it also has to do with what I had read about the different type of Intersex and it is one that I read that I suspect I might be that type but I’m still not sure.....) , which I’m not gonna say, I mean if they can have a home blood test to show you what blood type you are, which again I am still procrastinating in checking to see if my blood type will come out “O RH D Negative” for a third time...

we will try to get around to it when we can and when we are able to....just wish we didn’t keep putting it off, and I know we will have to use my left hand for it, because it will get more out of it, and I will possibly have to have my eyes closed because half the other tries we had when trying to do that home blood type test, I would end up feeling not so great and would have to go sit down.

I mean I thought it might be because I needed food, plus it might not really be that I’m scared of blood, I mean I might of thought it might be that, but maybe it isn’t that reason I keep feeling not so great when my fingers get pricked.

anyway if someone is Intersex, they can place the Intersex Flag in the Diamond part of the Multi-Flag that is suppose to show the different parts of them that is valid, no matter if it’s gender identity or sexuality or asexuality or aromantic or romantic...

also I can be both Aroflux & Fictoromantic, I just don’t find real humans very attractive in a romantic level anymore, sure there is still a little bit of still being attracted, but with the whole different reasons NOT to be attracted to some humans in this world.....like how disgusting some of them can be with they take their Acephobia too far, and end up trying to “fix” someone who is Ace....

and let’s not forget that even though there are still good people in LGBT that accept people who are Ace, there are some who don’t and their unfair view on Aces and possibly Aceflux is not good....

“so you say, it’s not okay to be Ace.”

“well your point of view is medieval.”

and yeah I know the “Ace” part isn’t in that song, and yeah I’m listening to Lily Allen’s song “F*** You” right now.

but yeah if it’s some people who are Straight who seems to have a problem with Aces, it’s some jerks who are suppose to be supportive and are part of LGBT, but seem to have a problem if someone isn’t s*xually attracted to someone, even if they still might be like either Biromantic,Lesbian, Vincian, Queer or  Heteroromantic....at least there is LGBTQIA, and maybe the “A” could be a Multi-A, but making sure no one EVER excludes Aromantic or Ace from the Multi-A part.

I wonder if some Earth Angels would disapprove of me liking that song...?

well I am a Defective Earth Angel who is I guess technically a hybrid soul, and if it is true about my soul-parents who the fragments that came together to make well me is true, that would mean that one was a Angel of Earth and the Other Angel of Heaven, which I guess would explain the whole violet ethereal wings, even though I can’t see them, and I know from asking by using pendulum, and yeah I am making sure not to over do it and use it too much, even though I know half of some of the replies will be half-truths and some pranks, but some percent being fully truthful.

and then there is the whole Soul-Grandparents, that my Earth Angel’s Soul had fragmented from.....

well even though I know not everyone will believe that kind of stuff, and I still think it is possible my pendulum might be giving me a prank answer that has to do with Phenex from the Ars Goetia being my Soul-Dad....

well unlike them, even though there is a possibility I do go to Heaven, I do have thoughts of wanting to find the edge of the clouds and try to jump off of it.....but then there is the possibility I might freeze up like a deer in the headlights, and I have froze up before when I was really high up before, there were these stairs that didn’t have those sides to them, and I got really scared and couldn’t move......

I mean yeah I can still believe in God and even Jesus (but I still don’t want Jesus to cross a line for some form of twisted sense of justice, because it will just prove to me that it isn’t just some humans who can be bad....)

but I also started to believe in the Goddess now too, which like I had pointed out before, some Toxic-Religious jerk didn’t like and they kept throwing that whole “may the lord have mercy on you.” or “may god have mercy on you.” at me, I know it was one of the those two, and I know now that they have been misusing those words, and yeah I got upset and cried and my feelings were perhaps super hurt, and no matter how much I tried to get that insensitive jerk to stop it, and listen that what they were doing was doing more harm than good, they wouldn’t listen and kept throwing those words at me over at the place where it happen, so because they kept doing it, I had to stop them the only way I could, by blocking them....

I can’t remember the name they went by, but one of things I hope is that I don’t run into them again.....that experience would count as Toxic-Religious Trauma, right...?

what they did, wasn’t okay....and it hurt my feelings, they wouldn’t even try to listen or understand that they were doing more harm than good...

anyway I made sure to put [Heart], [Spade] and [Diamond]

under the respective words...

the Heart is for the Fictosexual/romantic Flag that is merged together,

the Spade is for the new Aroaceflux design, which also appears as the full flag that is the colors Violet/Lavender, Light Turquoise, White, Ice Blue and Blue-Gray....

I did do a post before this one, that shows the new Aroaceflux design....

not sure if many will even like the new design that I came up with, and it’s okay if not many end up using it.

plus this Multi-Flag, does show all the parts of me, and a Multi-Flag can be different for anyone, so you can make one that shows your true self.

so the Diamond part can even have the Flags for different gender identities, even genderflux....it might not make sense, but use a diamond just seems right.

there can be different types of Multi-Flag types, and this just shows one that is a Flag that shows Fictosexual/Fictoromantic, Aroaceflux & Nonbinary-Woman/Girl on it...

and yeah it might not make sense to some who might think someone can’t be both Fictoromantic & Aroflux.....well not every Aromantic will be the same ya know.....I still like reading some stories with some romance in it and I still like playing video games with some romance in it, and I don’t mind getting crushes, but I have no interest in trying to pursue someone in a romantic way in real life....and I know I may have not always been Aroaceflux, but I know that I had my heart broken by some guys before (even if it was online boyfriends, and unrequited feelings to some guys I knew in real life, and kind of was in the friend zone in real life.), and I did perhaps try to get romantically involved again, but it didn’t work out because they couldn’t give me my space and not to forget that when I did try to talk to them, it just seem like they would ignore some of my troubles that I tried to talk to them about, so why even bother with that real life romance....?

I can’t really remember much about that time, only very little....but I know that they wouldn’t let me have me time alone when I needed it, and it seems like they wanted to have me around them like 24/7, I mean at least friends and others can respect when I need to have me time to myself, and that can be important for others as well....

I mean I didn’t get much time to myself half the time when we had some rude house guests over a few years ago, which of course that was perhaps one of the reasons I ended up with that first depression in 2015....

and even when I was trying to work on some stuff that was important to me, like a fan fic and possibly some drawings, they would always come into the room and invade my personal space, and I learned that I really don’t like that....

I also don’t like when someone looks over my shoulder or like even next to me on what I’m doing on the computer, I can’t even keep the door locked in the place we live at now, because apparently that is a big fat “No-No” and my family had to break in just to get the door to my room open, just because I didn’t answer them....I mean, hello, personal space.....

I mean I can still love my family, but I wish they didn’t do that....

I can’t even tell them that I’m Aroaceflux, even though I wanted to get their thoughts and feelings about Asexuality first before I came out as Aceflux, and maybe I could later fully come out as Aroaceflux....

but because of my family I asked about their thoughts on Asexuality,

and they end up thinking that only those who are Gay can be Asexual.....which by the way it isn’t just those who are Gay who can be Ace, there can be some who are Straight that can be Ace as well......

but anyway, I had to put on a act in front of them, to act like the talk wasn’t about me, and then once I got to my room I drop the act and the “mask” and let myself cry in heartbreak....

I can’t tell some stuff to my family, some stuff I can tell them and other stuff I can’t.

and excuse me but “being h*rny shouldn’t be mandatory, so stop shaming me for being Ace...” and if that was on a shirt, the word “Ace” would be replace by the “Spade” which is like the Ace of Spades....

I guess every since that pop into my head, that has been my favorite words to say....and it’s true, because of how some humans want to shame people for being Ace....

at least some Aces and others who have different romantic and sexuality,

didn’t find out that half of the time I felt....well “turned on”, half the time it wasn’t really mine....it was energies I was picking up, which is one of the reasons I have to keep wearing my gem bracelets, to stop me from picking up that type of energies....the other reason I use my gem bracelets are to act as sealing charms and limiters, because I don’t want to end up like Carrie White from the Carrie Movie Series or Alessa Gillespie from the Silent Hill Series from both the Games and Movies.

I like both the Carrie Movie and even the two Silent Hill Movies I have seen, and I am going to still keep a eye out for the third movie of Silent Hill’s trailer.

and well yeah I had to pray to both the Heavenly Father & Earthly Mother, to have my gem bracelets to act as to act as sealing charms and limiters, because of the freaky stuff that started to happen after I had started to use a pendulum, like figuring out I can move the pendulum with my mind and even program it on how to do “Yes” Or “No” or “Maybe”......

but when I started to hold something that wasn’t my pendulum, it would start to move like with my thoughts.....and lucky it is just when I touch something, so yeah I got he idea to have my gem bracelets act as sealing charms and limiters, so it doesn’t grow to the point where something moves if I don’t physically touch it like holding my pendulum........I ain’t taking the risk, plus the program for that only broke once, because one of the bracelets became too snug and I had to keep it off, and I had to re-do the prayer and program for the gem bracelets so whenever I do keep them off for a long period of time, they will still work.

that might seem weird to some, but it is working but I would still need to take them off sometimes, but I always keep them on to protect me when I sleep.

and the only reason I had started wearing a gem bracelet, is because being scared awake by what I think was a Incubus...and also had to put some of those Gem Angel Figure under my pillow to protect me, ya know for extra protection....and of course there is the whole needing to protect myself from humans who’s lustful energy might put my dream self in a trance and make me dream-walk....and yeah I did get a dream-catcher because of that, but because of certain reasons, I had to take it down but hopefully I can put it back up another time or maybe get a new one until we check that one...

but for now, I can try to have one of the gems that I keep under my pillow to act as a substitute.

anyway, not sure if many had that same experience, and to find out your dream self was placed into a trance and had dream-walk into someone else dream, can’t be fun.....at least nothing happen and I became self-aware and I was back in both my dream space and my normal weird random dreaming, but it did make me not want to go to sleep while the one who caused my dream-walking was still sleeping, so I had to keep myself awake and I ended up not doing that after getting the dream-catcher to help protect me.

that might seem weird, but I didn’t want to go to sleep while they are sleeping, because they might end up causing my dream self to go into another trance and cause my dream-self to dream-walk again....

I think part of the reason I was able to become self-aware and understand what was going on in the dream, was thanks to me wearing my gem bracelets.

anyway hopefully sometime I can put a dream-catcher up again...

so yeah, some people are lucky not to experience that....

also once again, this will be the last post for sure this time, until like a few days or so....I will post again in a few days or maybe next month.

but until then I can just enjoy checking out art and other stuff on here.       

[allithealigator]

Camp Half Blood an Alternate Universe

Chapter 2: Aliya

“You know,” Elena said after a few minutes of walking in silence, “this is kind of fun.”

Sophia grinned. “See, it’s a great idea!”

“Yeah, you never know what we could run into.”

“I’m just here for Camp Half-Blood,” I said.

“ Of course you are, and I’m %99.9 sure what you just said isn’t a real place,” said Elena.

“What about that 0.1 percent?” I asked.

I got no answer, but it didn’t matter because we had arrived at the store.  

We entered the convenience store. I saw a box knife right as we walked in and I grabbed it. It could be a good demigod weapon. I picked up a basket and looked around. Sophia and Elena had wandered off and I was strolling through the aisles. A drawing set caught my eye and I picked it up. The only reason I wanted to get it is that I needed something to draw on while looking for the source of the eerie shadow.

I started to look for Sophia and Elena, but then I knew where to find them. The refrigerated aisle.

“Guys, we have water, and as tempting as it is, we don’t need more stuff to lug around,” I said. They were reaching for a bottle of soda. 

“Says the girl who took the most unnecessary stuff in the world,” snapped Sophia.

“Jeez, fine, but only 2 bottles.”

They picked up the bottles and we walked to the cashier. I dumped the stuff on the moving belt thing, which Sophia said was a conveyor belt. There was an awkward silence as the checkout guy scanned our stuff. 

“Your total is $29.81.”

I quickly swiped my mom’s credit card. 

“You swiped it too fast,” the cashier said in a bored tone.

I scowled and swiped it again, slower this time. The pay machine thing dinged and the cashier said, “Have a nice day.”

“Well, that was awkward,” said Elena.

“Wow, I can’t believe you just picked up on that.” Sophia rolled her eyes.

They continued to argue as we walked in the direction the GPS said to go to reach Long Island.

After a while of walking, we came across a heavily wooded area. “Let’s set up camp here since we don’t have much sunlight left,” I said.

 “We aren’t gonna set up in silence!” Sophia exclaimed. She scrolled on her phone for a few seconds and then it started blasting a song called Riptide. 

Since I have ADHD I was kind of having trouble focusing on putting up the tent. Sophia volunteered to help and I gladly accepted. And then she told me she also has ADHD. 

“Well, that’s not helpful!” I said scornfully. Sophia frowned but called Elena for help. As far as both of us were aware, Elena did not have ADHD and was very good at paying attention when she wanted to.

 While Elena put up the tent, Sophia sat on a fallen log and I started a small fire with survival skills we learned at the summer camp we went to a few years ago.

“Doesn’t it seem like the forest is caving in? Like it’s about to swallow us,” Sophia said.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “It’s creepy.”

“I finished!” Elena called from the tent. We hurried over and unrolled the sleeping bags that we got at the store. I fell asleep the minute my head hit the pillow.

I was running in a dark place. It looked familiar but so strange at the same time.

"Run, run as fast as you can! Please just try to get away from it! It could be the end of everything," I heard a strange male voice say. 

My eyes sprang open - my vision was a bit blurry but when it cleared I saw two figures on the ground next to me. Elena was sprawled out while Sophia was peacefully sleeping, curled up in a little ball.

I looked at Sophia's phone. The time was 1:27 am. I sighed and lay back down.

I was just about to drift back to sleep but I heard a crunch of leaves outside. I stood up quietly and rummaged through my bag for my flashlight. 

I stepped outside the tent and turned on my flashlight. “Who would be up this early?” I murmured to myself. I shone my light between two trees and my eyebrows shot off my head as I saw a giant dog staring at me. I slowly approached it, looking straight at it. It looked like one of the hellhounds from Percy Jackson had come straight out of the book. I was scared because I knew what could happen if I did something to provoke it.

Then I ran back to the tent to wake up Sophia and Elena and get the box knife that I spent 20 dollars on. We walked out of the tent with everything we could grab. Elena had a stick which she found, Sophia had a bottle of water and I had the knife. 

“You gonna fight with a water bottle?” I asked Sophia. 

She rolled her eyes. “It was the first thing I found.”

“Please don’t make any sudden moves,” a voice said from above.

I looked up at the dog because I thought it could talk.

“Why shouldn’t we?” asked Elena.

A kid slid down from the back of the huge dog. He was wearing a black shirt and a leather jacket, the classic emo look. He stared into the distance, looked us up and down, then said, “Follow me.” He hopped on his hellhound. 

“Sorry to be disrespectful, but why should we follow you?” I asked suspiciously. 

He cocked his head. “Why should you not?” He looked me in the eyes and I could've sworn they were dark as midnight.

Sophia shrugged. “What could it hurt? If he can ride the hellhound, he can show us the right way. My GPS isn’t working anyway.” She climbed onto the big furry dog. Elena followed. 

“This is crazy!” I exclaimed. “We can’t just follow a random hot boy when he offers help!” Sophia stifled a giggle. 

“You still don’t recognize him?” She asked.

I squinted. “Nope.”

Sophia held out her hand. “Come on. You’ll figure it out.”

I got on with Sophia’s help. And that’s when my mind put the pieces together. 

“Hold up, why do you look like Nico? Like the emo kid.” I asked.

“Because I am Nico,” he said dryly. 

“Wow.” Elena narrowed her eyes. “Maybe all this Camp Half-Blood demigod crap is real.”

“Hold up, let me go get our stuff,” I said 

“Are you gonna take the tent?” Nico asked

“No, but I am gonna take our backpacks.”

I slid down, went inside the tent and got all of our bags, and came out then got back up on the hellhound. 

With that, we started moving. It was a smoother ride than we expected, considering we were riding a giant dog. And then we ran straight into a tree. 

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

Not Enough

has anyone else just wanted Danny to go completely fucking feral at Dash? anyone?

yeah me too

this is some truly self-indulgent shit y'all

"Hey Fenton!"

Danny slammed his locker shut, sighing as Dash clapped him roughly on the shoulder.

"I'm throwin' a huge ass Halloween party this weekend, ghosts are all about Halloween right? You should totally come!"

It wasn't the first party Danny had been invited to since being outed as Phantom, but somehow Dash didn't seem to get the hint that he wasn't even remotely interested.

"No." Danny snapped, he threw his bag over his shoulder and turned his back on Dash, walking away without another word.

"What's your problem?"

Danny stopped, turning back around with a face of utter disdain.

"Excuse me?"

"I've been trying to be nice, but all you do is just brush me off! Like you can't even pretend to be busy or something?"

Danny stared, mouth halfway open as he tried to find the words to respond.

"Are you actually serious?" he finally choked out, almost too bewildered to be angry.

Almost.

"You're not still mad about all that stuff from before right?" Dash asked. "Like, I don't even do that shit anymore, it's over."

"Is it?" Danny's eyes flashed brightly and Dash took a half step back as the air went cold. "Because I'm pretty sure it was just yesterday that I pulled Mikey out of his locker."

"Well, yeah but that was Mikey." Dash laughed. "C'mon man, I wouldn't do that to you. We're totally cool now, so why you gotta keep blowing me off? You talk to Kwan like it's not big deal, and he used to wail on you all the time!"

Danny took a deep, slow breath, then another.

"Have you considered that maybe it's because I don't like you?" Danny said through gritted teeth.

Dash huffed, shoving his hands into his pockets and staring at the ground.

"Look, I get it, I was a jerk, but it's over! I'm actually trying to be nice, now you're the one being an asshole."

Danny looked as though he'd been slapped.

"You're such a fucking idiot Dash." Said Danny, his voice trembling with barely restrained rage. "You can't just treat someone like shit every single day for two years and then expect them to get over it because you invited them to a few parties."

"Then how come Kwan gets to hang out with you?" Dash could feel his face heating up. "You're just gonna let him off the hook? That's not fair!"

"HE APOLOGISED!"

In one thunderous moment, every locker in the hallway slammed open, sending papers and books flying across the floor. The few students still packing up their things got the fuck out of dodge, whether this was a ghost thing or a Fenton thing (was there even a difference at this point?) they wanted no part of it.

Dash couldn't move, his feet felt heavy, he wasn't entirely sure if Danny had done something to him with his ghost powers, or if he was just afraid.

Because he was certainly afraid.

Even after everyone found out, Danny still didn't use his powers at school unless it was a ghost emergency. He didn't use them for pranks, didn't use them to get even, didn't even use them to show off.

But he was sure as hell using them now, and Dash suddenly realised why he was always holding himself back.

He was terrifying.

Danny took a few steps forward, stopping barely an arm's length away from where Dash was rooted to the spot, trembling.

"Kwan apologised to me." He said, quietly this time. "He apologised to my friends, he even apologised to some other kids, and when I told him that I wasn't ready to forgive him, he accepted that and left me alone until I was ready to talk to him again."

Dash wanted to speak, but he couldn't seem to make his brain form the words he needed, it was too busy buzzing with danger run danger get out run run RUN.

"You made every single day of my life miserable for two whole fucking years, and that isn't even counting the bullshit you pulled in middle school. How do you feel right now Dash? Does it scare you to be around me? Does it scare you to be at the mercy of someone that you know damn well can hurt you?" Danny leant in, grabbing a fistful of letterman jacket. "I hope it does, because now maybe you'll have an idea what it was like for me going to school every fucking day knowing that you would be there, ready and waiting to hurt me. Every single FUCKING day."

Dash found himself being thrown backwards, his feet finally able to move again as he caught himself.

"I'm s-sor-sorry." he mumbled, his lips felt numb and tingly and his head swam with panic as he struggled to get the words out. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Are you?" Danny's voice cracked, his face wasn't twisted in rage anymore, his eyes were blue once again, and shining with tears. "Are you really sorry for hurting me? Or are you just sorry that the guy you were beating the shit out of turned out to be Phantom?"

"I didn't... I didn't know." Dash gasped out, he could barely hear his own words, all he could hear was his own heart beating loudly in his ears as he struggled to draw in breath. "I didn't know it was like that, I just thought-"

Thought what? What had he thought? That he wasn't really hurting anyone? That it wasn't that big a deal?

No, he hadn't thought that, because he hadn't thought at all.

"And you're gonna stand here and tell me I'm an asshole." Danny was almost sobbing as he raggedly spat out each word. "Because I won't forgive you for something you never even apologised for. This is the first time you even acknowledged that you were an absolute jerk to me, and you followed it up by demanding that I just get over it."

Dash stared down at the floor, it sounded terrible when Danny put it like that.

"I wasn't... demanding anything." he said, he was embarrassed by how whiny he sounded. "I was just trying to make it up to you, I was trying, I just thought... it's not fair that I can't have second chance. I was trying so hard and all I wanted was a second chance-"

"I DON'T CARE." Danny's eyes were screwed up tight, but it didn't stop the tears of fury from pouring down his cheeks, his voice so shredded with pain it was barely recognisable. "I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU. I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT. I DON'T OWE YOU A SECOND CHANCE. I DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING. YOU FUCKED ME UP AND YOU. CAN'T. FIX IT."

Dash didn't know what to do. Danny was openly sobbing, his breaths came out in grunts as he couldn't hold the rage and misery back.

He was still standing within arm's reach, Dash cautiously put out a hand, to comfort him? He wasn't sure, but he barely brushed Danny's shoulder before Dash found himself spinning violently and his cheekbone exploded with sudden pain as he hit the floor. Cold hands drew away from him roughly.

"DON'T TOUCH ME." Danny screamed. "DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING TOUCH ME EVER AGAIN."

Dash watched as Danny grabbed his backpack and his footsteps disappeared down the hall.

It was over, just like that it was over.

Dash sat up and touched his face, he wasn't bleeding but he knew it would bruise pretty bad. It hurt, he would be squinting through one eye for a few days.

Danny could have done this to him at any time, he could have done it to him every day if he wanted, and maybe he would, now that he'd done it once.

The thought made Dash feel cold as dread pooled in his stomach.

The next day Dash told people he'd gotten his black eye from playing football, his team knew it wasn't true, but they didn't ask. He kept his eye out for Danny, wondering if he would pop up invisibly and knock him off his feet, or drag him through the floor, or hit him when nobody was looking.

He clung to Kwan's side all day, afraid to be alone.

Phantom could be anywhere, he could get him anywhere, if he wanted to hurt Dash nobody would be able to stop him.

Nobody had been able to stop Dash, and he didn't even have superpowers.

But in the end, nothing happened.

Dash went through the day untouched. Danny didn't even look his way. Not once. He just acted like yesterday never happened.

But it did happen, Dash still had the bruise on his cheek, and the terror set deep in his bones.

In the following days, weeks, months, Danny still never touched him, never looked at him, never talked to him. Dash realised that Danny probably wasn't going to do anything else after all, that maybe he hadn't even meant to hurt him in the first place.

He was a hero after all, he protected people, even people he didn't like. The only time he had ever come into contact with Dash again was to haul him out of the way of a ghost, and he did so with the same care as he would with anyone else.

Danny wasn't like him, he didn't gloat about hurting him, he didn't revel in the fact that Dash was scared of him. He just went about his day, acting for all the world like Dash didn't even exist.

Dash never gave him a true apology, it was clear Danny didn't want one, it was far too late for that.

It left Dash with a sick feeling of unfulfillment. He understood now what Danny had been going through, the pain, the terror, he wanted Danny to know that he was truly sorry, that he really had changed this time.

But he couldn't, because forcing an unwanted apology on him would just make Dash the asshole all over again, he was trying to steal a forgiveness that he could never have.

So he had to find his closure somewhere else.

He stopped picking on Mikey, and Nathan, and all of the other nerds he frequently hassled. He even tried apologising to them, some forgave him, others didn't, and he had to be okay with that. He struggled not to lash out, it still felt unfair, the world had always told him that you were supposed to forgive people when they apologised. It always happened that way on tv, in the cartoons he grew up watching. The mean kid would apologise, the other kids would forgive him, and they would all become friends.

He was realising that the real world was a whole lot more complicated than that, he didn't earn forgiveness just because apologising was hard, he was learning fast that he didn't earn any brownie points for taking responsibility for his actions. He was just doing what any decent person should.

It took him a while to come to terms with that, to stop being angry at people for not letting him make it up to them. For not letting him prove that he had changed.

All it took was to occasionally pass by Danny in the hallways for him to cool his jets and think more clearly. To remind him that he was the bad guy, he was the one who hurt people, that his victims did not owe him anything.

In his last year of school, he had found himself watching the juniors below him falling into the same behaviours, the same struggle for power and control. Pushing other kids around without so much as sparing a thought to how it made them feel.

After a lengthy chat with Mr Lancer, Dash was given permission to pull out younger students from detention one day a week. He would talk to them, ask about their lives, ask about their feelings. He would ask why they lashed out, why they thought it was okay to treat people that way. Most of them didn't have an answer, or simply refused to give one, but he would push, he wouldn't let them hide in ignorance like he did.

Some of them did feel guilt for the way they treated people, and they only needed someone they could talk to who could understand what they were going through, so they wouldn't take it out on whoever was around at the time.

Others would take more effort, they need a far stronger push in the right direction, they were defensive and combative, selfish and unapologetic.

Dash had been one of those kids, he knew they would be hard work, but he did his best. He couldn't help all of them, some were simply unwilling to change.

So he contacted the school-board, he pushed for better protection for students, more programs to help troubled kids, he volunteered to keep running his own counselling groups even after he graduated.

It still never felt like enough.

After graduation he turned down his favoured college to attend one closer to home so he could continue his volunteer work. He joined petitions and rallies for change across entire school districts, he spoke at other schools' anti-bullying campaigns. He'd attended enough of them in his own childhood that he knew they did next to nothing, but it gave him the opportunity to reach out to kids for one on one support.

He found more volunteers for his counselling groups, he helped people start them up in other local schools. It was a lot of work, especially when he was also juggling his college studies. He was taking a major in psychology, it was brutal, Dash had never been good at studying, but he'd decided that this was what he needed to do, this was important to him.

It still wasn't enough.

It would come at him in the night, as soon as he laid his head down on his pillow. He would see the faces of all the kids he hurt, it felt so much worse the older he got, they just looked younger and younger every time the memories came back to plague him.

He had beat the shit out of children. Kids who were the same age as the students he now counselled. He beat them until they were bloody or bruised, he shoved them into lockers, pulled pranks that humiliated them in front of the whole school, and he had laughed.

He'd laughed at their pain.

When the guilt weighed him down, he would begin searching for new programs to volunteer for, new petitions or rallies to get behind, always finding another way to help protect kids like Danny from kids like him.

And to protect kids like him from doing things that would one day haunt them.

He had spread himself thin across every school in the district, barely keeping afloat at college, but it wasn't enough.

It was never enough.

Kids still slipped through the cracks, schools were still too lenient, there were too many kids, not enough volunteers.

Casper High was holding another anti-bullying assembly. It had been a few years since Dash had attended one at his old school. This year they had excitedly announced that they'd even secured an appearance from Phantom himself.

Dash's blood ran cold, his hands shook as he went over his notes, he was slated to do his speech alongside Phantom's, they would be sharing the stage for a solid 75 minutes, barely a few feet from one another.

When Danny showed up he was already in Phantom form, Dash spotted him discussing emergency exit plans with one of the organisers in the event of a ghost attack.

He was so different from when they were in school.

He was tall, and broad, he stood with confidence and had a good natured charm to him. He was a hero, he was strong, he was brave. He could fight monsters ten times his size with a smirk and a witty one liner. He could take on anything, he wasn't afraid of anything.

He was a kid, running down a hallway, screaming words that still pierced through Dash's mind every time he saw the hero's face.

"DON'T TOUCH ME."

Dash's hands clenched around his notes, shaking so violently that they barely even looked like words.

"DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING TOUCH ME EVER AGAIN."

"Dash?"

A deep voice cut through the chaos in Dash's mind as cold hands closed over his tremblings ones.

"It's good to see you again."

Phantom was smiling at him, his hands still closed around Dash's.

"Good... good to see you too." Dash mumbled, not able to meet the man's eyes.

Phantom paused before releasing Dash's hands.

"I've heard all about your work." Phantom grinned as Dash finally looked up and met his eyes.

"Yeah." he said, and then before his mind could catch up with his mouth, he blurted out, "I'm sorry, for everything."

Phantom's eyebrows rose for a moment, before he gave a gentle smile and clapped a hand on Dash's shoulder.

"I know." he said warmly. "Thank you."

They gave their speeches, Dash had told his story many times before, the victim that he'd pushed to breaking point, the boy whose words drove the change that made him the man he had become.

For the first time ever, that boy was listening.

After the assembly had packed up and the volunteers were heading home, it was Danny Fenton who approached Dash and asked if he wanted to go grab a beer together.

Dash thought it would be rather awkward, but Danny had plenty of experience socialising with the public, awkwardness slid right off him, and soon enough Dash found himself laughing alongside Danny as he told a story about the new misadventures of the Box Ghost.

He returned to his dorm that night, head still swimming from one too many beers, and he had the best sleep of his life.

He pulled back on some of his volunteer work, hunting for new people to take his place as he focused on college. He was falling far behind, but he would work hard to make his way back. As a volunteer he could only do so much, but with the right education and training, he could do so much more.

The guilt still haunted him, every so often when the pressure and the stress weighed heavy, it would creep back into his mind. It would probably never go away, not entirely, but at least now he had his closure.

Finally, it was enough.

[le-roi-baleine]

I’m just going through tik tok trying to find cute edit of vanijeanne but only found slander.

I’m gonna draw them so much more, lol.

I know a lot of people don’t like them because Vanitas kissed her without consent. And they are right. Vanitas is a piece of shit for doing that to her. He used physical touch to put pression on her and manipulate her. He is a real enculé (sorry there is no word in English for that, and the meaning in English is not really what it’s mean in french)

But there relation moved. He continued to try to manipulate her for his own entertainment, but she grown past that, and answered to all is stupide action with her own power.

Then they get cornered and forced to truly cooperate. Some feeling got mixed but it’s only a little start.

After, when it’s only the two of them. She thank him for saving her friends and it’s when he saw her smile genuinely that he really fall in love (fall so bad that he can’t get up lol, weak)

What more interesting, is really I think Vanitas is a piece of shit for forcing a kiss on her, but Jeanne isn’t clean either. Like she killed eon’s of people (it was for war or because she’s a bourreau, but she still slaughtered living being) she also forced contact with vanitas. We can see that both of them used physical touch for a good. It’s like “un mal pour un bien” what they did is not good, but Vanitas kissed Jeanne to save a man and Jeanne forced Vanitas naked to save him from a death by cold. It’s what I actually love about them. They are not perfect, they made mistake, they could have used other technique, but we come to solution to our problem with what we learn and live. And there reaction really portray that.

As much as I love genuinely kind people in story (like tanjirou or Midoriya) I also love kind people who there image of good and how to optain it is not how most people will portray it.

And all the characters in the cases study of Vanitas have this actually. Like Noé and Roland. So mesmerised by the idea of righteousness that they missed it. Because kindness is far from the context of justice. And that also something we struggle with in our modern world.

But to come back to vanijeanne I love them for what I told but also because I’m a sucker for enemies to lovers and they are literally: Manipulate, gaslight x Manslauthere, girlboss

So people, if you don’t like them… just don’t like them , and stop telling the people who ship them to freaking go die.

Because on all the horrible toxic problematic ship that exist let me tell you this one is definitely like at 1% disgusting.

Like I saw someone shipping Diluc with Diona and I wanted to puke, scream, and ripped out my eyes.

The end. Sorry I just wanted to get it out of my mind.

Have a nice day!

If y’all want to talk about same thing or other things that upsets you on fictional work go on!

It’s a relieve space

[darkcircles4lyfe]

Death to All Might, Rebirth to Yagi Toshinori

So about All Might. I’ve been extremely wary of talking about what could happen to him because straight up saying “I don’t think he’s gonna die” is asking the universe to spite me. Plus it also feels like a room full of people turning to stare at me as if I said the Sun isn’t a star. Man has death flags everywhere, I know. 

But, okay, *Bill Nye voice* consider the following:

Mr. Yagi here, if he overheard everything, just received the final nail in the coffin on his career. His time as the symbol of peace is not only over, it was in fact partially responsible for the current state of things, since he once did so much on his own that his absence now makes heroes and civilians alike ill-prepared to cope. I think it was very apt for that one guy to be wearing an All Might shirt--he was acting as a mouthpiece for the latent societal problems embedded in All Might’s legacy. 

We know already that he’s been feeling useless. I love this scene and although I’m not gonna talk about it right this second, remember what Aizawa says about just “being here” being enough:

And we know from conversations with Inko that Toshinori is also reframed his purpose around looking after Izuku. But in the end, Izuku rejected his help, and it was his classmates instead who were able to save him. Now the very progress of humanity is rejecting him too. You may me wondering how on Earth I don’t see the logical conclusion of all this being his death. Hold on. It actually has a lot to do with the fact that we’re all expecting it. Nighteye himself saw it, and despite any contrary convictions anyone might have, the plot doesn’t seem to be veering away from that end. All Might Is Gonna Die, says absolutely everything. 

It’s occurring to me that I have previous experience with this kind of plotline that probably little to no one else in this fandom shares, being that I’ve read a certain book series in which the main character is told in no uncertain terms that he will die (no, I’m not talking about hp). The series in question is T*e Und*rland Chronicl*s (censoring so it doesn’t get put in their side of tumblr) and I’m sorry but I’m about to go on a shameless tangent about it and spoil the ending for you.

So in this series there is a prophecy in every book, each one having something to do with war and conflict, and so far all of them have been right. In the last book [mc] finds out that it’s prophesied that he will be killed. Lots of the things in the prophecies are convoluted and metaphorical, but no, this one literally says “when the [mc’s title] has been killed.” He spends the whole book coming to terms with this, and he gives into it, only to find himself waking up in the hospital instead. “Wow, plot twist. /s” you may be thinking, and yeah sure, the mc in a kids book survived, big shocker. But it doesn't end there. After the war, there are peace talks, but they escalate until the two sides are on the verge of declaring war again. And [mc], bless him, has just been caught in the middle of all of this the entire time. He’s sick as shit of fighting, of watching the suffering and death of people he cares about. He draws his sword against both of them angrily, gives a speech saying he won’t take a side, and then promptly breaks his sword across his knee: “There. [mc’s title in the prophecies] is dead. I killed him.” He’s giving a huge middle finger to everyone there, to the man who wrote the prophecies, to the entire fucked up culture of it all. And so something that was taken literally turns out to be metaphorical. That is, if you still believe in the prophecies at all.

Hopefully you’re catching my drift here. What I’m saying is, even though this other series has nothing to do with bnha, it goes to show sometimes it’s the most absolute certainties that are red herrings, and a “death” can consequently be a symbolic one. In All Might’s case, it could be the death of hero society and a rejection of his own past. In other words, character development for Toshinori himself that reflects on the way the world is changing, too. Also there’s the fact that the mc from that other series I’m trying not to name has an honorary title, and I’m imagining that role he occupied “dying” could correspond to something that amounts to, “All Might is dead. I (Yagi Toshinori) killed him.” 

And here’s another thing: we also have to ask ourselves what good a dead Toshinori is to Izuku, narratively speaking. Yes, Izuku has spent his whole life idolizing even the more toxic parts of All Might, and his idealized vision of his hero does need to “die.” But how about Toshinori as a father figure?  Izuku regretting that his last interaction with Toshinori was to reject his help may drive home the fact that he shouldn’t go off on his own, but at this point it’s kinda redundant. If anything it would negate some of the progress that was just made because it’d make him extra paranoid about losing other people too. To be honest, the whole “Uncle Ben” trope, the mentor/father figure who dies and gives the mc a reason to do better, is so tired. Experiencing the death of a loved one really doesn’t deserve to be romanticized like that. I might as well admit that I’m speaking from experience, and let me tell you, losing someone you love suddenly, when you weren’t around, and with unfinished business--it makes you paranoid as hell that it will happen again. It literally gives me nightmares. Y’all, I cannot stress enough that trauma does not equal character development. Granted, just because I know this doesn’t mean Horikoshi does, but in general he does seem to lead his characters toward healing.

Okay, back to the present. Toshinori is turning away from UA. He likely feels useless and rejected. We can infer that what happens next will involve Stain, and we have a couple of extra clues to go with it: Stain considers All Might a true hero, and has stated that he would let All Might kill him. And since Horikoshi loves his parallels, we also have this fight between Endeavor and this random villain who admires him so much that he wants to die by Endeavor’s hand:

This suggests a confrontation in which Stain challenges All Might to live up to himself as he once was, so that as a hero he can vanquish Stain and symbolically overcome society's perversion of that role. But based on what All Might has learned about the system he upheld, Stain is wrong. All Might is not a “true hero” in the sense that the societal issues Stain witnessed exist not in spite of All Might, but (in part) because of him, because he took too much of the responsibility for himself.

Stain probably had no idea about the personal cost of All Might’s lonely burden until after the fact. Maybe he’s seeing it now. So then perhaps the confrontation would be more about Stain claiming he’s just as fake as the rest. Either way, Toshinori has the opportunity to denounce himself and be rid of “All Might,”  to stop living in his own shadow. Nighteye’s vision has been defied before, and I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the combination of society shifting + Toshinori’s own conviction is enough to do it again and work fate in his favor.

He is not All Might. He is Yagi Toshinori: quirkless, worn down, and directionless except for his dedication to Izuku. If he survives his interaction with Stain, he can resolve his imperfect mentorship by confessing about his shortcomings and simply supporting Izuku as a part of his family, not as his teacher (as Aizawa said, just “being there”). And that’s how you really get character development, for both of them. I mean, shit, imagine Toshinori straight up telling Izuku to stop calling him All Might.

[closetedbumblebee]

White Wedding (Addison Montgomery x Female Reader)

Weddings are supposed to be full of love, happiness and gratitude. A wonderful celebration of two souls coming together as one. Today was one of those days. Callie and Arizona were finally and officially tying the knot.

It was supposed to be a happy celebration all round; all the happy couples loved up, attending the wedding together. Meredith and Derek, Christina and Teddy, Owen and Amelia, Richard and Catherine, among others showed their support for the sweetest couple who were currently reciting their vows.

You sat alone in the third row from the front, extremely proud of your friends. You were smiling from ear to ear as they each walked down the aisle. You knew their story like the back of your hand, and couldn’t contain the happiness you felt when Callie and Arizona finally came through for the other, especially after the accident. They had come so far.

You felt a pang of sadness, taking a look around the room at all the couples. You wished your girlfriend, Addison was here with you, but she had to fly back to LA after Sofia’s delivery. You barely spent enough time together as it is, both of you living in separate cities, leading separate lives. You did, however have a relatively strong and healthy relationship, taking the time to have long phone calls, FaceTime, and send as many text messages as you could. You tried to sneak weekends away  to LA, also. 

But, things felt strained for the last few months, and you both felt the need to remedy that. 

The last time you and Addison saw each other was during her stay, which was 4 days long. You hadn’t seen each other for five weeks, and you could tell the strain was getting to you. But, you both pushed those feelings down to focus on your friends. After all, you were both doctors.

When you did catch up, you and Addison had a slight argument the night before she was set to jet out of Seattle. You sort of made up, but you hadn’t really spoken since, just the odd text and call here and there.

You reminisced… 

“Honey, I really want to stay longer, but I can’t. I’ve got patients to get back to and-“, Addison said sadly.

“We’ve barely seen each other for weeks on end, and when we do, you suddenly have to rush off again. I get that you have a new life now and I respect that. Of course I do, but where the fuck do we fit in?! When you took the job in LA, we promised we’d make each other a priority regardless of whatever happened. You only fly back to Seattle when Richard needs you. I’m busting my butt every other week, rearranging schedules, going out of my way to see you. Because guess what, Addison? I love you! Clearly you don’t love me enough, otherwise you’d be making some sacrifices” you snapped.

Addison was taken aback. You had never seen her look so sad and upset. You just missed her so much, and wanted to be with her. You instantly felt guilty for snapping because you didn’t mean to go that far and before she could say anything, you jumped in again.

“Shit. Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I just miss you so much. You know that. I’m so so sorry”, you said, equally sad as you reached for her hand.

“We’ll, I’m not going to say that didn’t hurt, because it did. But I understand. I guess it was deserved. I’m sorry too, sweetheart. I’m gonna do better, I promise”, she said.

You held each other tight, “I love you”, you said in unison.

Addison was about to say something else when - 

Her watch beeped, reminding of her flight and you drove her back to the airport where you shared one last kiss.

It wasn’t the way you wanted to make up, but it was a start.

Upon arriving back in LA, she texted immediately.

‘I’m back. I won’t say back home, because it isn’t home. Never has, never will be. My home is with you. FaceTime with me tomorrow? I love you baby xxxxx’, she texted

“Me too, my love. I most certainly will. I’m so sorry again. I love you too xxxx”, you replied.

Things improved between the two of you over the next four weeks, before she told you she couldn’t attend the wedding…

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I really wanted to be there, but I just can’t get away”, she said, evidentially disappointed.

“Oh…okay. It’s fine. I can try and film it for you. It’s not going to be the same without you. I love you”. You were sad, but you didn’t want to push her.

……………..

Drawing you from your thoughts, you noticed the last of the guests arriving before the brides made their voyage down the aisle.

“Excuse me, beautiful, is this seat taken?”, you heard a voice say.

You thought you were dreaming. It couldn’t be. You looked up, to see a familiar, beautiful face smiling sweetly at you.

“Addison?!”, you shrieked

You both started crying as she pulled you up into her arms, holding you tightly.

“Surprise”, she whispered huskily into your ear.

“What are you doing here?! I thought you couldn’t come”, you cried.

“I couldn’t bear being away from you anymore”, she said, smiling through tears.

You kissed her with everything you had, before she pulled back.

“I mean it. I’m miserable in LA. I can’t stand it there. So, I’m coming home - for good”, she said.

You didn’t exactly comprehend what she said at first, but then gasped in delight, wrapping her up in your arms. Looking around, your friends were watching you both, all clearly happy for you.

You and Addison still had a lot to talk about, but right now, you put it to the side when Callie and Arizona appeared….

Everyone cried during the vow exchange, and you and Addison shared sweet, knowing looks, never letting go of each other’s hands.

…………..

At the reception, everyone gathered around Arizona and Callie as they had their first dance as a married couple.

Addison wrapped her arms around you from behind and rested her chin on your shoulder as you watched the happy couple. You hugged her arms, and she reached around to peck you on the lips. You two couldn’t get enough of each other.

When it came time for other couples to join the dance floor, you and Addison wasted no time walking hand in hand to the floor. At this point, everyone was in their own worlds, all content and happy, buzzing from the day’s events, while you and Addison were completely wrapped up in your own little bubble.

“So….”, she said, arms wrapped around your waist, holding you close as you swayed to Shania Twain’s ‘You’ve Got a Way’.

“So…”, you repeated.

She jumped right into it. 

“I’ve missed you, my love. I really have. You are everything to me. I’m so sorry for making you feel otherwise. I shouldn’t have been neglecting us”, she said softly, her eyes not leaving yours.

“Addie, hey… No, please. I’m sorry - I had no right to go off at you. I should’ve been more understanding. You uprooted your life and that’s a huge deal; because you’re a big deal, babe. I thought about what I said to you that night, and it was completely unfair, way out of line, in fact.. I was just projecting my feelings onto you. I was so scared that by you moving would have jeopardised our relationship without thinking about anything else. It was me, I was selfish”, you said, sheepishly.

“In other words, you thought I’d cheat on you. That’s it, isn’t it?”, she asked.

You felt tears in your eyes. Blinking them back, you smiled sadly and nodded.

“Come on now, you know I would never, ever, do that to you”, she said.

“I know. I…know. I just should've been more supportive of you. I know what this opportunity meant to you”, you said, your tone apologetic.

“It’s not all on you, okay. I realised I was working longer hours, and I turned my back on us because I was so overwhelmed with all of it, and avoided you, because I think deep down, I was scared too. I was afraid of hurting you, and was terrified the long distance wouldn't work at first. So, I can see how you must’ve felt that way”, Addison said, gently touching your face.

You looked into her eyes, to see the tears shimmering like white diamonds.

“Baby…”, you said.

“Being away from you, not being able to see you, or hold you, or kiss you, made me realise that you, that what we have, is worth more to me than any job. So I told Naomi I quit, called Richard, and he offered me a new job”, Addison smiled.

“Oh, Addie, that’s great!”, you said gleefully.

“Yes, yes it is. But, the best part is that I am now Grey Sloan’s Chief of Neo-Natal Surgery. I’m officially the boss now, baby. You know what that means. This is going to be so good for us!”, Addie said.

You were crying softly and gently touched her face. You knew what this meant; Addison being in charge of her own specialty, back on home soil meant everything to her. She was determined to fight for her relationship with you, so being the boss meant she could make her own rules and schedule. But, not only that, she deserved that title; worked hard for it her whole life; and you were determined to fight to the ends of the earth for her. 

It hit you then that she was really back.

“You’re home?!”, you asked, almost in shock.

“Mm-hmm. I’m home, baby”, she beamed.

“No more messing around, no more arguments. This is it - you and me. No more turning back. I want to fight for us”, she continued.

“I want to fight for us too”, you said back.

You smiled brightly at each other, feeling more connected and more in love than ever.

She was just about to kiss you when you heard the clinking of champagne glasses, as Callie’s father, Mr Torres called for a toast.

“Thank you everyone for coming to celebrate my beautiful daughter, Calliope and her wonderful new wife, Arizona on their special day today. These two have gone through hell and back to be together. I have never felt prouder of my little girl, than I do today. I look around the room, and see it filled with such love. It’s a really beautiful thing. Real, true love is a once in a lifetime feeling, so if you’ve found it, hold onto it with both hands and never let it go, because it’s one crazy ride. Ladies, I congratulate you both on overcoming your obstacles and finding your way to each other. I love you both so much, my dear daughters. To Callie and Arizona!”, Mr Torres exclaimed, full of pride.

“To Callie and Arizona!”, everyone said.

The newlyweds kissed, before turning their attention to the wedding cake.

You and Addison watched the whole exchange, extremely proud of your friends, grateful to be a part of their special, historic day; however, deep down, you both pictured this day of your own, in your not so distant future.

Addison and you shared a look, and you both just knew. This was the path you wanted to take.

“Forever and always, Addie”, you said, winking at her.

“Forever and always, Y/N”, she repeated, clutching your hand, bringing it to her lips.