#dramascenes

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Symptoms of a System Error: The Manifestation of Myungha's Depression in Love for Love's Sake

Ok I will almost certainly have more thoughts about this when I go back to rewatch Love for Love’s Sake in the next couple weeks, but I’ve been thinking about the finale for the last couple of hours and I want to get some stuff out of my head. Before I get too far in to this, I want to say that I think most of the ambiguity in the show is brilliantly executed in a way that allows people to take whatever meaning they want to from it without contradicting each other, without stepping on toes, and without having to twist or bend the narrative beyond all recognition to  make it make sense. 

So I want to talk about the use of depression in this show, because the way Myungha exists in the world is recognizable enough to me that these moments of choice, and the system errors were extremely legible. That doesn’t mean my take is the correct one (and I honestly don’t think there is one right answer here anyway) but it’s what I got out of it, so with the needless ramble complete, let’s get to it. 

Prologue

gif by @dramascene

I connected rather quickly to Myungha as a character from right near the beginning of episode 1 because of how passionate he was about the character of Yeowoon and how much he hoped for a happy ending for that character. As someone who processes a lot of my feelings, and who understands myself better through media consumption, I was quick to appreciate the fact that Myungha recognizes the parts of himself that speak to Yeowoon and to know that because Yeowoon is fictional, he has a chance not to suffer with merely a stroke of a pen. The Author could have chosen from the beginning to give Yeowoon a happy ending, and did not because he believes that there are people for whom bad things will never stop happening. But from the perspective of a fictional story, the Author should consider who he is writing the story for. Myungha connects to Yeowoon, and it sends one hell of a tragic message for how Myungha’s life will end up if even in fiction the people who suffer have no hope of happiness. 

Myungha tells the Author that someone like Cha Yeowoon, someone like him [Myungha] with awful lives can still be happy. Looking back on that statement with the knowledge that Myungha kills himself, sends a very clear message, at least for me, of the hope that he was clinging to and finally lost his grip on. The Author asks if Myungha can change the outcome, and thus begins our story.

Debuffs

Now, I don’t know that I will have much more to say here than what @jemmo said in their very brilliant post, beyond the fact I agree with their interpretation of the debuffs. But I am thinking about the debuffs as it relates to mental health and to Myungha’s independence. One of Myungha’s first missions is to befriend Cha Yeowoon, and we see the difficulties associated with doing so when it comes to the Fondness Level meter and the debuffs that happen as a result. I love what Jess said about the dichotomy there: the debuffs mean that every time Myungha gets close to Yeowoon, something bad happens, Myungha uses that as a reason to stay away from Yeowoon to protect him when in fact, being around Myungha and increasing his fondness for him is the only way to really keep Yeowoon safe. 

gif by @dramascene

And here again there is something recognizable to me in this dichotomy. Myungha likes Yeowoon, Myungha wants to be friends with Yeowoon, every time something bad might happen to Yeowoon, Myungha is there to intervene. But Myungha is convinced that the potentially negative events that might occur during a debuff are because of him, and so he avoids Yeowoon as much as he possibly can. To me this makes the debuffs a stand in for depression symptoms. Myungha has convinced himself that he is the cause of the bad moments in Yeowoon’s day. Myungha has convinced himself that Yeowoon would be better off if they weren’t friends, because he only makes things worse. And that is not something he can easily shake off, it’s not something he can logic his way out of, that’s the game, that’s just how it is. And so he withdraws until Yeowoon comes to him. 

And honestly thinking about it, nothing bad really happens during those debuffs. The light doesn’t shatter, the boys back off on the bus, Yeowoon doesn’t punch Sangwon. Maybe the reason why nothing at all happens is because Myungha intervenes. Maybe if Myungha hadn’t been there, the light would have broken, maybe if Myungha hadn’t been there Yeowoon would have punched Sangwon. But that is not a lens that Myungha is capable of viewing himself through, that is never an option that crosses Myungha’s mind because he is too focused on feeling like the cause of Yeowoon’s problems. 

System Errors

I know there is a lot of confusion or at least uncertainty around the system errors. Why are they happening? Where are they coming from? For me, I think the answer is Myungha himself. The first time we get a system error, it’s in Episode 6, what I think is the day after Yeowoon and Myungha have their first kiss and very soon after Yeowoon and Myungha kiss on the rooftop at school. The first error isn’t subtle, but it’s not explicitly stated. Myungha walks in to a room to take a phone call and walks in to the middle of band practice, falling through the world as he tries to remove himself from the situation until he (literally) runs in to Yeowoon. Myungha goes home that night and gets his first moments in the black abyss, and the first explicit mention via pop-up of a system error. I have not gone through (yet) to track every instance of what happens before a system error pop-up occurs from that point on, but I will say moment that was most legible for me in terms of indicating that these system errors were stemming from Myungha himself were when he gets the notification both times that Yeowoon looks directly at him and tells Myungha “I love you.” 

gif by @dragonsareawesome123

That moment was a guy punch for me because I was not able to see it any other way except that Myungha is so incapable of believing that people could actually love him that someone telling him directly and sincerely that they love him cannot exist in his world. He literally cannot compute it, and thus an error occurs. Again from the perspective of depression, or trauma, or what have you, this is familiar to me. It is perhaps the most reflective part of Myungha to my own psyche. Neither of us know how to be loved. 

Myungha is called out on this repeatedly, he is nice to everyone, he does so much for everyone and refuses to ask for help himself. I’m the same way, I will bend over backwards as much as I can to help the people that I care about, but it is a rare occasion where I can ask for help myself. I’m not sure if this is the case for Myungha, but for me at least a lot of that stems from needing to make myself useful to people in some way so they keep me around. And so I end up feeling like a commodity to the people that I care about and help, and merely tolerated by anyone else that I do not help but that interacts with me any way. Myungha is called out consistently by multiple people, real or NPC about this similar habit. Myungha does not want to be a burden, Myungha only cares about other people’s happiness, Myungha is not happy himself and has maybe never been happy and so he pours everything he can in to lightening the load for others. 

He loves Yeowoon, but to be loved by Yeowoon is different. To experience any moments of joy cannot possibly be real. Maybe I am projecting too much on to the character, but it makes complete and total sense to me that Myungha’s worldview would break down upon having someone state wholeheartedly that they want to be a support system for him. 

Cruel Choices

gif by @dramascene

With the enmeshment of depression and video game mechanics in mind, I want to talk about the scene at the end of Episode 6. I love this scene so much for a number of reasons: 

It turns the game on a head for me as we slip further and further in to a nightmare scenario

It raises the stakes and attempts to get Myungha to make a hard choice 

It forces Myungha to think about what is important to him 

It’s ultimate purpose and who is posting the mission is ambiguous/uncertain 

I’m going to focus on number four. I think it is a perfectly valid read to see this and all video game mechanics as designed by The Author in an effort to help Myungha change Yeowoon’s story in which case this mission feels particularly vindictive and cruel. @lurkingshan posed the question in a conversation we were having about Love for Love’s Sake, where she wondered why the game could not hold two sources of love for Myungha at once. I love that question because it made me realize how differently this show can be read and how important who you choose to read as the entity in control of this game is for what this scene specifically means and I love so many interpretations of it, I love the interpretation that is was simply cruel, I love the interpretation that in retrospect this was the Author being angry at Myungha for dying, I love the reflection from @jemmo that said this felt like a choice between staying rooted in the past (sparing grandma) or choosing a future (sparing Yeowoon)

For me, I think I am leaning heavily in to the pop ups are under Myungha’s subconscious control, his mind, the missions he thinks are important, the problems he thinks he is causing are what is driving the base game. Because of this my base instinct is to lean in to the depression/anxiety/trauma tent where things have been going a little too well for him lately and he has convinced himself that he is due for something bad to happen. I am happy to once again acknowledge that this probably projection, but I know that my own mental illness(es) does not let my peace linger for long. Myungha is spending so much time with Yeowoon, Yeowoon who grounds him when his world is literally falling apart. Yeowoon who cannot contain his smile whenever he is around Myungha, Yeowoon who is downright desperate to bestow love and support upon Myungha, Yeowoon who has accompanied Myungha to the hospital late at night to be there for his boyfriend in a stressful time, and Myungha can’t have that. He loves his grandmother, he loves Yeowoon, they both love him and so obviously means that something bad is going to happen to them. 

gif by @25shadesoffebruary

[As an aside I am thinking about what the Author said in the final episode about wanting Myungha to be able to see himself from the outside, and how I took that to mean Yeowoon is supposed to be a reflection of Myungha and a journey to self love, and how Yeowoon told Myungha that something bad always happens to the people around him in relation to this hospital scene]

Secondarily, I do think being confronted with this choice at all allows Myungha to have a moment of reflection, and is clarifying for him to know that both Yeowoon and his grandmother are important people in his life that he doesn’t want to lose. That’s fucking huge, in my opinion at least. And for all this mission was cruel, it was the first time Myungha refused to complete the mission. He was asked to save one, he decided to save both, and the game could have been cruel and taken his grandmother and Yeowoon away for refusing to choose, but it didn’t. They both got to live, and sure Myungha’s mission to make Yeowoon happy was shortened significantly, but I do think fifteen days was enough time to be successful in his mission if the depression and the grief had not gotten to Myungha instead. 

Grief 

gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

Something about grief that my therapist told me once was grieving people love helping others. And I think that is the case of Myungha here just based on the way he throws himself in to helping as many people as he can, especially Yeowoon. He knows Yeowoon is grieving, he knows Yeowoon is struggling, and he can distract himself from his own shit by helping Yeowoon instead. But once Myungha is confronted with the possibility that either one of the people that he loves could die, the penality for failing in his mission to make Yeowoon happy looms over his head like a knife. Just like Myungha considered himself the problem with the debuff, he knows how high of a likelihood it is that Yeowoon would regress, would isolate, would sink into a massive low. 

And it would be Myung’s fault (in his mind). 

Especially because Yeowoon keeps saying that even thinking about going on dates with Myungha is making him happy but Myungha’s mission isn’t complete. Myungha has started to get low, he is not as engaged in his relationship with Yeowoon, he’s convinced himself he is going to fail, and is thus setting himself up for failure because he decides 15 days is not enough time to find happiness, but it is enough time to break somebody’s heart in preparation for a devastating loss. And maybe, maybe Myungha would have snapped out of it with enough time to spare initially, but any hope of that being the case was shattered the second Yeowoon admitted that he wasn’t happy because Myungha wasn’t relying on him. 

Myungha is so used to be self-reliant there is no way for him to break out of that habit in just two weeks. Myungha knew his death would hurt Yeowoon, but the final nail in the coffin for him was learning that his life was hurting Yeowoon too. And he almost got there, he almost did it, he admitted that he didn’t know how to, but he withdrew at the last second. He has spent all this time, all this energy, all this focus in to changing Yeowoon, he does not have the space to do that for himself. 

The Choice 

gif by @supanuts

The last moment I will really speak to as it relates to my interpretation of this game being controlled by Myungha as a manifestation of his depression is the author’s pen. Considering the fact The Author asked Myungha if he wanted to try again, I do not think if the Author was controlling this game world that he would have had Myungha disappear from it. Because according to the Gaga subs, the change that Myungha writes is that he wants Yeowoon to be happy, and immediately upon finishing that request, Myungha starts to fade. 

If we hold these game mechanics as manifestations of Myungha’s depression, which I do, it makes complete and total sense to me that Myungha would fall back in to the pattern of believing that Yeowoon would be happier if Myungha wasn’t there. Yeowoon has a modeling deal now, he has some modicum of fame, he has friends now, he has supports in place that he did not have before, so what need does Yeowoon have of him, when his inability to let people love him is what is now causing Yeowoon to feel sad. 

And I think that massive server error at the end where the world is burning and the universe is melting in to the game is a result of Myungha realizing too little, too late that this isn’t what he wanted. But it can’t be undone. The line he says when he is sinking in to the water about how at the last minute before he died, he regretted it. The game, the drowning here are one in the same to me. 

And for me there was just something so beautiful and hopeful from Myungha telling The Author that he wants to try again. We started the show with Myungha telling The Author miserable people can be happy, and we end the show with Myungha and Yeowoon finally getting the happy ending they never thought they would have. 

gif by @junghaesin

God I loved this show.

[ohanny]

i love how fanon has two very different ideas about kenta and his relationship with his body, scars and injuries and how that could determine his overall behavior in the future when he becomes a part of the gang:

a:

gif credit @pharawee

kenta does not give a fuck. his body is a tool and it is what it is. he’s doesn't particularly care how it appears to others and if anyone were to stare at all his scars, he’d give them a blank look back. he’s pragmatic about his needs: if he's hungry, he eats. if he gets hurt, he's going to deal with it. this kenta would have no problems with stripping in the middle of a crowded room to patch himself up and asking for someone to get his back since he can't reach. it might not be pleasant but he knows in order to perform, he has to be in shape.

b:

gif credit @dramascene

kenta gives perhaps too many fucks. in order to survive he has to be useful and in order to be useful he has to be strong. his body is his weakness. it carries the consequences of his failures. it aches and slows him down and threatens to make him a liability. so he covers up and forces himself to stand straight and licks his wounds in private where no one can see and use it against him. this kenta would “i’m fine” himself through a gunshot wound and pass out before asking for help and after having his scars shown to the world, avoid people’s eyes out of shame.

and both could and would be totally canon appropriate and that's just beautiful.

[dream-thief-forever-amen]

Lost You Forever Season 1

Screaming at everyone: please watch Season 1 now so we can all watch the finale season together when it drops!

I tagged everyone I saw (sorry if I missed anyone)

@dramascene @gizkasparadise @harocat @robot-roadtrip-rants @serenewish @starcrossed591 @tianzhens @zhouyes @zishuge

[borntodeal]

I am currently refining my acting skills at Brian Cutler Actors' Studio located in the heart of Burbank, California. Every week, I immerse myself in honing my craft, embracing every opportunity to learn and grow. Recently, I had the distinct pleasure of sharing a scene with the esteemed actor, John Keating. We delved into a captivating scene from "Spencerville (Part III)."

In acting, the eyes play a pivotal role in conveying emotions and connecting with the audience. However, this particular scene posed an intriguing challenge as it was predominantly performed with sunglasses, limiting the expressiveness of the eyes. This constraint propelled me to explore and cultivate alternative methods to portray the character's essence and emotions effectively.

In my everyday interactions and online presence, I maintain a demeanor of respect and refrain from using expletives. However, the scene we performed is intense and explicit, requiring a departure from my usual discourse. I advise viewer discretion due to the explicit content of the scene.

#BrianCutlerActorsStudio #ActingJourney #JohnKeating #Spencerville #SceneStudy #BurbankCalifornia #ActingCraft #ViewerDiscretionAdvised #PerformanceArt #ArtisticExpression #DramaScene

[khanentertainmentdaily-blog]

Available at #KhanEntertainment Township, #Lahore . . . . #pakistanidramas #arydramas#bestofrdramas #bestofpakistan#dramasonline #dramascenes#pakidramas #pakdramas#bestpakistanidramas#pakistanishows #pakiworld#lollywood  #ISPR #Army#Ahadrazamir #zaranoorabbas #Osmankhalidbutt #Filhaal #Baari #mominamustehsan #bilalsaeed (at Lahore, Pakistan) https://www.instagram.com/p/B5svPeVFdEQ/?igshid=6y607mp5zkb7

[heyitstayoo]

What is your reason for doing that?

You were sitting alone by the stream.

The green grass was sprouting

and the water was splashing from the spring breeze.

You promised that even if you go, you won’t be gone forever.

That is what you promised.

I sit by the stream each day

and think about something endlessly.

When you promised that even if you go, you won’t be gone forever,

were you asking me not to forget you?

[i-unknowngirl]

៚ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕞𝕪 𝕀𝕕𝕖𝕒𝕝 𝕋𝕪𝕡𝕖

[call-me-dim]

[hardbirdlove]

Alice - Ep02 - O Resumão ⚠️spoiler ⚠️ - Já começou com uma frase. Pelo visto vai ser recorrente nos futuros episódios. - Cenas com o pessoal da delegacia parecem gente boa mas muitoooo atrapalhados 😂😂 - O caso da menina raptada pela mãe, nesse episódio temos mais detalhes. É triste mas entendo 😭 - Gente geral ja sabe que o tenente ta apaixonado pela repórter só ele não sabe 😂 pelo visto ela que tem que tomar a atitude nesse casal ai 😂😂 - O negócio é tão sério que a moça já tem a chave da casa do rapaz😱😱 praticamente casados 😂😂❤ - Começa a aparecer o papai agente da Alice para limpara a barra do bosta do futuro. Chocada que homão 😍😍 - Tem a sequência do chefe da Alice conversando com o papai sobre a mamãe Tae Yi. Porque tu nao procurou por ela??? Também quero saber 😑 - A conversa continua e da a entender que ele não sabe q ela ta morta humm..... 🤔tem podre dentro da alice. - Cena com papai estilo mib homens de preto !!! ❤❤ papai muito badass - Cena familiar e gente chocada que nosso mocinho morou com o capitão ❤❤ por isso a repórter chamou ele de sogrinho ❤😍 - E temos o choque !! Mamãe agente Tae Yi badass dando aula de física?????? 😱 Pelo visto essa é a mãe antes de entrar na alice e virar agente e ter nosso mocinho 😥 Agora só sexta até o/ . . . #dramascoreanos #asiandramas #dramacoreano #dramaseries #dramasasiaticos #dramascene #doramaslove #doramas #doramasbrasil #doramasbr #doramaslovers #kdramas #Alicedrama #SBS #Alice #joowon #kimheesun https://www.instagram.com/p/CEio0IbBPyD/?igshid=1jtzttorun0sg

[zila6492]

It's even sadder when you noticed that the brothers were holding hands. 😭😭 #dramaenthusiasts #untamed #theuntamed #sadscene #cql #jiangcheng #weiying #wangzhuocheng #xiaozhan #dramascene https://www.instagram.com/p/B_isPXZDpd5/?igshid=c3mcj5goxp2t

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Top 5 biggest losers in BL (interpret as your heart desires)?

Oh wow! What a completely unanticipated, out of the blue question ;P

When I call a boy a loser, I mean it with the upmost affection. Loser friendships, loser fist pumps, loser boys. They are the nerdiest of the nerdy, the simpiest of simps, the ones without any fear of embarrassing themselves. SO!

Akafuji in I Became the Main Role in a BL Drama (aka BL drama no shuen ni narimashita: crank up hen)

screenshots from @sparklyeyedhimbo

Akafuji is so desperately obsessed with his costar and is trying so so so desperately hard to be normal about it that it is actively fucking hysterical. He looks constipated constantly because he's so stressed out about acting not normal around Aoyanagi. And he's swooping in right at the end of the year to claim this title.

Im Han Tae in Sing My Crush

gif by @dramascene

He's so in love with Han Baram it's embarassing, and he doesn't know it for so long. This boy got in a fight with Han Baram, stormed out of their shared apartment saying he'd never be back, cried over a bowl of noodles at his mother's house, and returned to his apartment within 4 hours. Look at him. He is a loser. I am obsessed with him.

Ten in Cooking Crush

I think this is the first comedy I've seen Off in and he is very fucking good. Ten is such a fuckin' loser he's having animated hallucinations about food he thinks tastes good, and he decided the best way to show Prem he wasn't interested in him romantically was to agree to go on a date with him.

Yai in The Sign

gif by @raypakorn

He got shoved by a perp and was down for the count, he trips people and knocks them over for his bestie, and he is way too involved in getting his friends to fuck. The only way he could be more of a loser is if he spent time with two dolls with Phaya and Tharn's faces on them and made those kiss. Which is essentially what he is doing with the real life versions

Phupa in Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of a Thousand Stars

gif by @gunsatthaphan

This man is a Forest Ranger, he is trained in using fire arms, he is got bullied so hard by one college kid, and so thoroughly seen by another that it broke his internalized homophobia in like...three days.

ASK ME MY TOP 5 OF ANYTHING BL 2023

[doramasbggs-blog]

Ele todo tímido por ter tocado nos seios dela 😂😂😂😂 eu amo demais esses dois 😂❤ . . . Dorama: Put your head on my shoulder. . . Parcerias 🌼 @dorameiramemes @whit.loveyas . . #kdrama #korea #dramascene #kdramasserie #doramaskorea #doramas #doramasasiaticos #viki #vikirakuten #seriescoreanas #romance #love #asia #oppa #putyourheadonmyshoulder https://www.instagram.com/p/B_c01MbpqRU/?igshid=16efx3979llwk

[kassylin]

My BABY T_T Looking so so good.

Soon T_T 

[dramagoodies]

Intense encounter in “Man to Man” ~ Park Hae Jin & Kim Min Jung 😊

[officialmastiii]

I can 😁😁😁🔥 ___________________ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _________________ #ahadrazamir #ayezakhan #aimankhan #sajalaly #sanajaved #shahzadsheikh #sabaqamar #farhansaeed #fawadkhan #ferozekhan #muneebbutt #minalkhan #mayaali #mahirakhan #explore  #kubrakhan #jetopakistan #humayounsaeed #hiramani #haniaamir #hinaaltaf #jagopakistanjago #bilalabbaskhan #urdupoetry #urdudrama #urwahocane #ushnashah #dramascenes #pakistan #pakistandrama https://www.instagram.com/p/CBGh_j5AiiD/?igshid=1ehtx267rkg53

[kdramaaddictoftomorrow]

🖤 🎥: LOVE'S LIES 真爱的谎言之破冰者 | Starring Luo Jin & Pan Zhi Lin 🎬: 9th episode Will You Marry Me? 💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 ❤️❤️❤️ 💍💍 . . #loveslies #真爱的谎言之破冰者 #LuoJin #PanZhiLin #china #asiandrama #chinesedrama #cdrama#koreandrama #kdrama #LiuYe #ArielLin #刘烨 #dramascenes #罗晋 #潘之琳#chinese #drama #interesting #중국드라마 #중드 #드라마