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salem-s · 10 days ago

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SUNRISES, PENALTIES, AND LOSING SLEEP OVER YOU ── RAFE CAMERON ONE SHOT

── SYNOPSIS when Rafe can't sleep, he ends up at the soccer field to get some practice in. however, he can't seem to stop his sunrise practices when he discovers the pretty girl who reads on the bleachers is there every morning. ── WARNINGS language, so much fluff??? ── WORD COUNT 5.6k. ── NOTES consists of jock!rafe and nerd-ish!reader, college au, mainly rafe pov. ── SONG OF THE CHAPTER everything is embarrassing by sky ferreira

Rafe contradicts himself this time -- he actually doesn't mind being up before the sun if that means some more practice...and some peace and quiet.

Surprisingly, he's quite the night owl, fighting the plague that puts him to sleep by distracting himself with literally anything he can get his hands on, even if that meant school work that's been pushed off for the last minute. He can go all night at a bar and he's the only one out of his friends to be able to actually pull all nighters on their designated movie night.

While this has severely skewed his sleeping schedule, Rafe prefers to get things done while the rest of the world around him is asleep, you know, for some alone time.

Sure, Rafe's a pretty social guy: he enjoys time with friends and his teammates and classmates, and he definitely jumps at the chance to spend time with them whenever he can. It's a pretty rare occurrence where he isn't with someone or talking to someone, because he's a light converser and easy to fall in stride with. He's the stranger that people often fall in love with and never see again, perhaps it's the handsomely boyish smile or his ability to talk to a brick wall.

And yet, there's moments like right now where some alone time is needed.

Once again, Rafe's been up for nearly a day now, the sun just peaking over the horizon behind him, signaling the start of a lot of people's days (and the end of his, since it's Saturday and he'll need to recharge before going out tonight). The sleep simply...doesn't come to him.

Not easily, anyway.

After nights out with his friends (or when they go to bed), Rafe normally tinkers with things in his room, building trinkets from scratch or blueprinting random designs because he's bored, which he doesn't normally admit to people. His ability to draw was something his father always told him to push down deep, to ignore and focus on the money-driven careers of the world: business, science, all that crap.

Well, his father isn't here. And even if he was, Rafe wouldn't really care, anyway.

Sleep doesn't come very naturally to him during the night, which is highly unusual considering he has no insomnia or trouble sleeping. He just doesn't get tired. Usually the sunrise shining through his window signals him to try and sleep.

He doesn't recall the last time he's really looked at a sunrise, this time being exceptional with colors portraying burning passion and dragon fruit, and the dirty-blond hums to himself, halting his movements to stop and enjoy it for a second.

The soccer ball planted on the ground by his foot is still as Rafe's balance. He holds himself together to take a deep breath in and observe the world around him.

Sure, he's never up this early but, goddamn, it really is pretty.

Hues of pink, orange, purple emerge in sight, getting lighter by the second and changing into something more tranquil. He's at ease. There's something more content and comforting about sunrises than sunsets, and while he cannot put his finger on the exact reason, he deems this a fact.

Rafe mentally notes to do some sunrise workouts more often.

At his university, he's on the club soccer team, which isn't the big leagues but it keeps him and shape and the competition isn't nearly as stressful, which he likes. Rafe enjoys the sport to have fun, and while he does care about winning and beating these other lame schools, at the end of the day it's just putting a ball through a net and spending time with his teammates, so he never holds a grudge if his team loses.

He's spent so many years fighting for love, fighting for affection, fighting for meaningless trophies to impress his father that in the end he just...realized it is what it is. Once Rafe learned the implication of life will happen anyway regardless of how certain things go, his outlook on competition changed.

Anger subsided into contention, rage simmered into acceptance, and fear contorted to nonchalance.

Rafe learned a long time ago that, no matter how athletic he may play or how many As he may earn, nothing will ever satisfy his father's insatiability for perfection.

That lifted a considerably heavy weight off his shoulders, once he started living to please himself rather than everybody else.

Of course, he still plays with heart and the frustration of the game naturally spurs during heated moments. But the implications of self pressure are no longer there, and Rafe has found incredible solace with his teammates.

They usually go out after games to celebrate, win or loss, anyway.

Rafe can't really argue with that.

The reason Rafe's alone now is because 1. all of his friends are sleeping and 2. he didn't get drunk enough to pass out.

He had a couple shots early in the night, but curse his heavy weight intake for making it hard to get drunk. So now he's here at the practice field at the ungodly hours of the morning - because he's bored and doesn't want to sleep just yet, and he doesn't have to worry about any classes, just about his plans tonight.

Besides, his skills could always use some tidying up.

Rafe goes back to his workout routine after his admiration for the sky, the sun rising behind him mindlessly while he dribbles the ball up and down the field to practice his precision, working on mind trick tricks in terms of scoring (Rafe is a forward, no way could he play defense).

Sweat glistens his forehead as the coolness of the night gradually dissipates, and he doesn't know how long he's been on this field, maybe a few hours? Days? At this point, someone could've told him he's been here for a year and he'd probably take their word for it.

But Rafe, after shooting the ball and missing, notices someone sitting on the bleachers with a book.

You.

A very pretty girl, who now has the book in your lap and is instead watching him.

Rafe just shrugs and gives a welcoming wave with a smile that you definitely can't see, but instead of waving back, you instead close the book with such gentleness and sit up to speak.

"Isn't the ball supposed to go in the net?"

Rafe recoils.

What?

He bites back a laugh because at this ungodly hour, everything is funny no matter what. He decides to ignore the hot raspiness of your voice and pushes it to the back of his mind, because he'll want to think about that later.

Despite his internal turmoil, Rafe plants his hands on his hips and cocks his head to the side. "I don't suppose you could do better?"

You chuckle sweetly, even Rafe can hear that from the distance and thinks it's faint music to his ears. "No, I can't. Have fun playing kickball, though."

Rafe simply stands there, blinking with a dumbfounded expression and a hint of a grin, taking a moment to soak in the faint image of you, a beautiful stranger, who goes back to reading your book. Shamelessly, he continues staring at you, as he can can make out how your silhouette is swallowed by a crimson hoodie looking comfortable enough to make Rafe yawn.

Fuck, now he's tired.

It doesn't take long for Rafe to pack up his things after doing some last work-downs and begin walking off the field (and of course the exit gate is right by the bleachers). The sun is now risen, just barely, and he can already feel the heat coming to bite him in the ass. He's never been a fan of the heat, especially at the start of the school year where it's basically sweltering summer.

Besides, he's been yawning for the past few minutes and his movements are more sluggish than they were before, so he takes this as a hint to finally get some rest.

You look up from your book and notice the alarmingly attractive soccer player leaving. Going against your normal tendency to hide and avoid talking to people you don't know, you can't help but feel inclined to smile when the stranger perks up and makes eye contact with you. The wild thumping of your heart only augments when you notice how pretty his eyes are, a bright blue despite the exhaustion behind them.

Rafe sends you a boyish smile and a nod, almost as if he's known you forever and bidding you a familiar farewell.

Once he gets closer, he notices your coffee sitting idly beside you, ice melting as the sun starts beating down on it. He also notices how pretty you really are, much prettier up close.

"Do you always read at the ass crack of dawn or what?" Rafe decides to pipe up, making his tone lighthearted so you don't think any different.

You huff out a laugh. "I've been here every morning since the semester started, and I'm just seeing you for the first time, why?"

Despite the certainty of your tone, Rafe doesn't ignore the sheepish look that immediately creeps on your face, trying to act cordial but he can tell by the way you're wringing your fingers together, you're somewhat skeptical of him. He decides to spare you and not to comment on the nerves, because he also feels heat in his face (he's gonna blame the workout, not the hot stranger talking to him).

"Late night, couldn't sleep, and I was bored so I thought I'd shoot around until I got tired."

"Wait a minute," you say, your tone suddenly serious and your expression indulgent, "you haven't slept yet?"

Rafe shrugs nonchalantly, not taking into consideration that other people have normal sleeping schedules, finally meeting someone who does.

"Nah, this is normal for me. I'm surprised you're up...willingly...that's honestly terrifying and I'm scared of you," he jokes and spins the soccer ball on the tip of his ring finger.

You widen your eyes and let out a low whistle, the look of shock coating your features. "Not sure if I should be fearing you instead. I can't tell if you're a god or just fucking stupid."

This makes Rafe bark out a laugh, one that he doesn't expect to come out, but the fact that this beautiful, fragile, and relaxed stranger just dropped the f-bomb nonchalantly is somehow fucking hilarious to Rafe...or perhaps it's the lack of sleep that makes his perception of things much more different and jagged.

Either way, he doesn't care, because the smile on your face is something Rafe's mind is never, ever going to forget.

"Probably the latter, unfortunately," Rafe admits in that cheery self-deprecating tone that everyone takes normally. "Well, sunny, I'll leave you to it."

Then he pauses for a second, biting his tongue to refrain from saying something too forward.

"I'll hopefully see you around?"

Your blush intensifies (at the nickname or his confidence, you don't know), and neither speak on it. "Yeah, that'd be nice. See ya, kickball."

Before Rafe can defend his sport, you open your book back up and pick up where you left off, lounging back and crossing your legs to get more comfortable as Rafe splutters and huffs out a response that you seemingly ignore.

Your small smirk of victory makes Rafe want to either punch it off or kiss it off. Please don't ask him which one he prefers.

Rafe's been at the soccer field almost every morning now for the past week.

He figures that he'll sleep during the day on the weekends and in between his classes during the week, setting a multitude of alarms and not getting the amount of sleep he wishes to. His sister, Sarah, hassles him because she wants to meet this stranger who's been taking up all of Rafe's free time, finally happy that her brother is 'seeing someone' who isn't a complete jerk.

His best friend, Kelce, begs Rafe to introduce them or at least tell them a name, and have even tried to sneak out of his apartment with Rafe to spy on them (to which Rafe immediately shut down). But Rafe likes the idea of keeping you all to himself, just for a little bit.

Sure, his sleep schedule is even more messed up, but seeing the beautiful stranger every morning is such a goddamned bonus.

Oh, and it's no longer stranger. He learns your name the third time you see him.

Rafe learns that you're majoring in graphic design but that you have a serious love towards history and art, and immediately shy-ed away when he asked you to draw something, anything, on the spot.

And Rafe thinks it's so attractive that you're calm, collected, and easily embarrassed. You're shy, no matter how much you try to hide it. But you've been getting more and more comfortable with him every morning and he counts that as a huge step in his book. The books you read every morning are nonfiction pieces for your classes, and bring a sketch book a couple times a week as a substitute when you don't feel like indulging in history at the ass crack of dawn.

He's been practicing soccer every morning now and his teammates comment on his change in precision and dribbling, and all Rafe can do is shrug and bitch about how he's the best on the team and can't help his natural talent (which his friends are used to hearing, and immediately humble him).

Well, little do they know you're the entire reason for that, and Rafe teeters between telling you that or keeping that to himself.

The only downside to all of this is that Rafe's sleep schedule is...no longer.

He stays up during the night, partying, sketching, whatever, and then makes his way to the field around five-am to practice and wait for you to get there (to make it look like he's already been practicing), and sometimes he doesn't even practice but instead waits on the bleachers for you if he has a game that day, not wanting to push it.

But then Rafe stays with you well into the morning, time that he usually spends sleeping is spent talking and chatting ears off.

Pathetically, he doesn't want to miss a day with you, yet he's really fucking tired.

Maybe you'll understand? Or you won't, and Rafe will have to go back into a panic to figure out if you're actually into him or not.

Rafe genuinely thinks he's dumb, because you'll graze his hand against his or subtly compliment him, and he doesn't know how to respond, and will just carry on normally because he doesn't want to assume anything is going on.

Because if there's nothing happening between you, then Rafe doesn't want to be embarrassed for thinking that way.

Rafe needs verbal confirmation if you're into him, because these subtle ways of being touchy and flirty are very confusing to a dumb person.

A.K.A., him.

The realization that you're horrifically down bad for Rafe Cameron hits you at approximately 3:22am on a random Sunday, a week after you meet.

You'd gone to bed around eleven, trying to get some early shut eye before your Renaissance history exam tomorrow. The prep had you cozied up in the library all day, forcing yourself to reiterate the material to no end until you were seeing your handwriting in your head when you shut your eyes.

That's usually your tale-telling sign to know when to wrap it up.

But the effort to get plenty of rest proves fruitless in its attempt due to the giant fucking spider you see a foot away from your face.

Panic rises in your chest.

After all, you often wake up naturally during the night at least once to turn over or stretch your legs and sometimes think you see something, like the hoodie on the back of your chair that looks like a person or the piece of string on your floor that emulates a snake. In the moment, you try to convince yourself that it's one of those pranks your brain likes to play on you.

When it moves, however, that's when you scream.

You fliiiiiing off the bed, landing harshly on the tile with a thud, probably dragging half of your bedspread with you as you fumble for the lamp switch on your dresser.

The light makes it worse, because it proves your suspicions as you stare at the biggest spider you've ever seen on the wall, inches from your pillow.

Of course, you panic.

Heart racing, you freeze in your spot as you can't seem to take your eyes off of it, scared that it'll disappear into your sheets or behind your bed if you move or look away for a fraction of a moment. It's a standoff, you realize, and it doesn't look like it's going anywhere.

And there's no way you're getting near it.

Your fingers shake as you reach for your phone on the dresser, not once taking your eyes off the creature. Once it's in your hand, you pause and suck in a breath.

What the fuck is your phone gonna do?

Think, you repeat in your head. Breathe. Call Laney.

Your thumb ghosts over your best friend's contact, but your heart sinks when you catch a glimpse of the time.

Christ, it's the middle of the night. No one is awake at this hour.

You groan, eyes flickering between your phone and the spider that stays still on your wall, probably thinking of its plan to kill you, or whatever arachnids normally plot.

Trembling in place, you run through your options.

A. You could attempt to throw something at it, but that would only work if you had a guaranteed throwing accuracy, which you do not have. This will probably result in you missing entirely, and the spider vanishing in your sheets to never be seen again. Nope.

B. You could attempt to call Laney or your RA for some roadside assistance, but you know that Laney of all people, who once shrieked and ran from a wasp (it was really a fly), would really be of no help. And your RA often slept through a lot of concerning events, as in multiple fire alarms, a cat fight right outside his door, and, once, a literal firecracker. Nope.

C. You could grab your lighter and attempt to light it on fire. Given the circumstances, you're also guessing that's a fat nope.

D. There's a-

Your endless spiraling comes to a halt when you get a text, a fucking text, none other than from Rafe Cameron. At three in the morning.

Rafe: hey! someone make a greg and rowley edit to fake plastic trees. got me fucked up lowkey. heres the link. lets debrief about it later.

A moment passes and you blink hastily at the message, wondering if your eyes are playing tricks on you or if he, truly, is awake right now casually looking at god knows what. You re-read it once, twice, double checking the time stamp he sent it, mere minutes ago, and your chest pains in embarrassment at what you're about to do.

Your gaze darts from the text to the spider and back to the text.

God, your options are thin.

Before you can talk yourself out of it, you're pressing on his contact, hitting the call button.

It rings once. "Please don't tell me I woke you up from that stupid text."

"No, um." You bite your lip as you eye the spider. "Uh, are you busy right now?"

"Besides talking to you? Nothing, pretty. Isn't it past your bedtime?"

You hate how your cheeks burn at his nonchalance, but are thankful he can't see you right now, even though he might at some point in the nearby future.

"What's wrong?" Rafe's tone morphs from teasing into what sounds like concern.

"It's stupid," you whisper, swallowing your pride. "But, uh, there's a giant spider in my room, I'm not kidding the size of my palm. I'm just, like, kinda freaking out?"

There's shuffling on the other end, a grunt, then a thud.

"Ow," Rafe grumbles and it sounds far away, as if you aren't meant to have heard it. "What dorm are you in?"

Your heart flips. "Shaffer. But Rafe, you really don't-"

"Room number?"

"509. But-"

"Nah," he interrupts nonchalantly, as if he won't entertain the thought of not helping you. "I'll be there in five. Talk to me, what'd you do today?"

Rafe arrives in three minutes.

Creeping to the door without taking your eyes off the spider, you open it to reveal Rafe Cameron, clad in sweatpants and a ridiculous graphic t-shirt (that looks like it's inside out), hair disheveled and sticking in every direction, holding his phone to his ear where you're still connected on the call. His green sneakers are untied. His smile is bright.

You try not to stare. You really try. Especially since you're supposed to be keeping an eye on the problem to begin with, but it's hard to resist when he looks so disgustingly endearing.

Eager, even, to help you out.

"Good to know it hasn't eaten you yet," Rafe jests, hanging up the call and putting his phone in his pocket.

You swallow the lump in your throat and step aside to let him in. "You really didn't have to-"

He places a cool palm over your mouth, startling you into shutting up.

Blinking stupidly up at him, all your senses are inhibited when you realize how close he is, how you can smell his cologne and see how bright his blue eyes really are.

"None of that." Rafe grins at your wide eyes. "Now, where is it?"

It's almost annoying how fearless he is.

While you're huddled in the opposite corner of the room, hugging yourself through your thin pajamas, Rafe simply scans the scene in front of him: the array of sheets and blankets hazardously scattered on your floor, the spider on the wall, your hand-sized penguin plushie that Laney got you as a joke. He can't help but cheekily smile to himself, getting a glimpse of you through the items you have, the photos you have hanging up, delaying the arachnid trapping for a moment to be selfish.

You catch him staring at a photo on your wall under your miscellaneous posters, and clear your throat.

Rafe snaps his head back to you, as if forgetting why he's here. "Right, sorry, pretty."

You reel as you watch him. Looking around for items he can use for the entrapment, Rafe settles on a discarded empty coffee cup from your trash can, kneeling forward on your bed and holding the cup underneath the spider.

The thump of your heart only gets louder as you see him nudge it with his own bare hand into the cup.

Once the spider is in it, he simply puts his palm over the top, covering it with not so much a second thought.

Rafe stands normally, tilting his head with puzzlement when he turns around to face you, wide eyed and, frankly, a little horrified.

"What?"

"Wh- You-" You splutter. "You touched it."

All he does it shrug, as if it literally means nothing. "No biggie. You have any ops on this floor? I can set him down so he crawls into their room instead."

After you escort him (from a distance) to relocate the spider outside, Rafe only deems it polite to walk you back to your room. On the way back in, he catches a glimpse of himself in the window and winces at his appearance, so the whole walk back he's been subtly trying to flatten down his unruly hair. You stifle a laugh each time he brings his hand up to mess with it more, undoubtedly making it worse.

By the time you get back to your door, it's worse than before. But he's never looked better, in your opinion.

"Um, thank you," you say sheepishly, toying with the strings of your pajama pants. "I know it's late. Or early. Whatever you wanna call it."

Rafe's smile couldn't be bigger. "I was up anyway."

You frown. "I don't think that's very good for you. You know, not sleeping."

Your tone reeks of concern, frankly a little embarrassing to express such distress for his well-being despite knowing him for only a week now.

But he barely seems fazed by it, instead shrugging. "Maybe. But then I wouldn't have answered your call, hm?"

The amused gleam in Rafe's eyes make your head fuzzy.

"I guess," you mumble. "I'll get you a coffee for your...troubles."

Rafe laughs boyishly, leaning against your doorframe as if he has all the time in the world to talk to you. "No need, pretty. I'm a certified arachnid relocator. I'm putting this shit on my resume. You honestly did me a favor," he rambles. "Needed a new job to put on there, anyway."

You can't help but roll your eyes, not really understanding how he has the energy to quip with you right now.

"Right, put it under your specialty in kickball," you tease, fighting a smile when you see his brows raise. "Will you please try and get some rest?"

"Depends," he hums, tilting his head to the side in contemplation. "Will you be at the field tomorrow?"

Ignoring the way your heart leaps, you shake your head. "Can't. All the more reason to catch up on sleep, no?"

"Are you asking me to?"

"Begging, really."

Rafe then nods, but not without trying - and failing - to suppress a stupidly large grin. "Alright, fine. For you? Anything?"

When you finally convince him to go back to his room (only the building next door), you can't help but lie awake in your spider-free bedroom, staring at the dark ceiling as your mind replays the last thirty minutes over and over.

Yeah. You're already in deep.

Rafe's been meeting you for a few weeks now, ever since the spider incident, almost every morning to talk and hang out.

A couple days a week you'll get coffee before classes to keep Rafe stable, and he discovers that you two always have something to talk about, and if there's silence it's always comfortable and natural. You often watch the sunrise in silence when it first awakens, and then carry on your normal routines when the beauty is over.

It's so stupidly endearing to him that you let him share your moment with him.

Safe to say he's horrendously down bad...despite his overwhelming fatigue.

This morning has been exceptional rough for Rafe, because around three in the morning while he had been bored tinkering with things in his room, he suddenly remembered a paper that needs to be written before his noon class.

Of course, it's the middle of the night. He knows you're definitely asleep and there's no way he'd wake you up for something like this.

Naturally, Rafe spirals into a messy panic, standing in the middle of his room for a few moments debating on writing the paper here in his dorm or just taking all his things to the bleachers and doing it there while waiting for you. He does have a couple hours to spare, but Rafe doesn't think when he grabs his backpack, laptop, and book and runs out of his dorm.

The darkness of the night has never bothered him, not while the moon shines above him and illuminates his path. It's one of the reasons he loves nightfall so much, is because of the beauty of the moon and the light that it reflects on the earth. He wishes he could see the craters more clearly so he can soak in all of her beauty, but tonight he's in too much of a rush and panic to really think about the deep ideas of the moon.

When Rafe gets to the bleachers, he immediately opens his laptop and starts writing, whipping his book out so that he can reference quotes and cite pages while he lazily goes off his shitty outline he wrote a few nights ago about the premise of his paper. The words he hastily types come out as lethargic unpleasantries, and he really, really tries to focus to make it good, but his head keeps lulling forward and his fingers shake from fatigue.

He doesn't even care. He's a STEM student anyway, so literature isn't really at the top of his list of things to care about.

But god forbid he misses a morning with you.

So he lounges back on the bleachers, ferociously typing away everything he can and scraps together every piece of knowledge he has about the book.

And that's exactly how you find Rafe a few hours later: head tipped back with his legs stretched out, laptop discarded beside him with a black screen, light snores emitting from his mouth and his hair disheveled in every sort of direction.

And you think you're gonna melt at the sight.

Rafe is startled awake by a loud squawking by his ear, and yelps quietly while he shoos away the crow on the fence and tries to remember where he is and what he was doing. He sees the sun...the soccer field...holy shit, where are-?

You, sitting next to him with his laptop in your lap, waiting patiently for him to wake up. You try (and fail) to suppress a grin as you notice how disheveled he is right now, who's trying to piece together what he had been doing before he passed out.

"Good morning," you greet warmly. "Sleep well?"

"What time is it?" Rafe immediately asks, mind fuzzy from the short amount of sleep. "I have class at-"

"Noon," you interrupt calmly, trying to ignore how stupidly attractive his morning voice sounds, "I was planning on waking you up in an hour or so in order for you to have enough time to get there, but your professor emailed you and the rest of your class to tell you that class was cancelled for a family emergency. So I wasn't going to wake you at all, but that crow had other plans for you. Sorry."

Rafe sits up and rubs his eyes, cracking his back and stretching from the uncomfortable position, still foggy as he looks at your pretty and yawns. "I need to...I need to finish a paper. It's about-"

"Frankenstein?" you interrupt again, looking very prideful. "Don't worry, I've read the book before so I finished it for you. I also re-wrote everything you wrote because...well...it wasn't making sense. I mean, no offense or anything. I kinda submitted it already since it was still due at noon, so..."

Letting out a breath of relief, Rafe slouches and utterly destroys his posture as he regains his ability to think coherently.

His mind catches up to the situation. You found him asleep, finished his essay for him, and waited for him to wake up so you wouldn't disturb him?

Yup. Yeah, it's official, he's smitten with you.

"I don't know how to thank you," murmurs Rafe, unknowing of what to even say, scratching the back of his neck as he peers over at you.

You simply shrug, handing the laptop and book back to Rafe (of course while grazing your fingertips together, hopefully intentionally).

"Think of it as..." You rack your brain for words. "...Me returning the favor. You know, for the spider."

His mind is mush.

All he can think about is you not thinking twice to help him out, despite his idiocy and consistently scrappy appearance. Somehow, somehow, he hasn't driven you away yet. Just when he thinks he's fucked something up, you come back.

"That was- I wanted to do that for you."

Once again, you shrug. "And I wanted to do this for you."

Rafe blinks stupidly at you, unable to form a coherent thought. What ends up coming out of his mouth is, "You wrote a paper."

"Yeah."

"For me."

"Well, I couldn't submit the garbage you came up with. No offense, or anything, but I think you confused Frankenstein with Frankenweenie."

"That's a common mistake."

You manage to crack a smile. "Is it?"

Rafe decides it's one of the prettiest things he's ever seen. "Mhm."

But, of course, he has to ruin the moment by yawning so horrendously audacious that he nearly groans in self inflicted embarrassment.

"Sorry," he winces when he comes down from it, rubbing the side of his face in exhaustion. "That's my body's involuntary response to when a pretty girl writes my papers for me."

You roll your eyes to push away your shyness, to ignore the heat flushing your cheeks.

"You really should get some rest."

Rafe yawns again. ""M not tired."

Despite the dark circles under his eyes, Rafe looks perfectly content on these bleachers, leaning back onto the row above and lounging brazenly. His head is lulled in your direction, looking up at you with those pretty blues and a half lipped smirk that seems to be permanently etched on his face whenever he's with you.

You wring the ends of your shirt, nervously biting your lip under his intense gaze.

And you're speaking before he can call you pretty again.

"Well, how about this. After you get some sleep, we can...we can get dinner? We can even do take out, or I can try and chef something up in the communal kitchen, or something..."

His mouth drops open.

You trail off, unsure of what to make of his flabbergasted expression. Is he...Is this not what you thought it was?

But Rafe is over the moon, unable to get that stupid shocked look off his face as he realizes holy shit he thinks you're asking him out? and he can't find the energy to move, he's frozen, relaying the thought over and over in his head that you, of all people, are into him.

Are you? Or is this some sort of friend-quality time thing that's going over Rafe's head because, contrary to popular belief, he's very smart when it comes to blueprints and designs and sometimes mathematics, but also very dumb when it comes to pretty girls.

Is this a direct invitation on a date or not? His tired brain doesn't know how to think strai-

"I'll take that as a no...?"

Rafe blinks his way out of his thoughts at the sound of your voice again, and he finally finds the words and mumbles out a curse word as he notices the confused guise on your pretty face.

He immediately widens his eyes.

"No, no, no-"

Your brows raise.

Rafe recoils. "Yes! Well, I mean yes, yes, I'll get dinner with you. Sorry, I just...Yes, I'd love to."

You find it in yourself to laugh, and subtly let out a breath you've been holding for all that time Rafe had been yelling at himself in his head, debating the context of the invitation.

Blinking blearily, Rafe shakes his head, trying to figure out if he's still sleeping and he's dreaming, or if this is actually happening to him. But with the intensity of his rapid heartbeat and the way you look so vividly real and present, he deems that this is in fact not a dream, and this is happily real life.

"Good, because I don't know what I'd do if you said no," you joke, twiddling your thumbs out of nerves and letting out a low chuckle. "Probably never talk to you again."

Rafe waves you off with a proud look on his face, a wide grin, saying your name with such a saccharine tone that it makes your brain go fuzzy.

"Oh please, like I'd even think of blowing off my very own essay-writer. I may be stupid, but I am not an idiot."

This makes you laugh with that stupidly adorable smile that you can't seem to fight off that well, and Rafe takes in how beautiful you are, with your perfect grin and bright eyes that remind him of the the lightness in his chest when he finds something funny, or how your sweet voice smoothes over the ridges and hills of his heart and fills in the gaps affectionately.

(Which is painful for Rafe to endure because he loves it so much).

"You are pretty stupid," you admit quietly, timidly. "You're stupid for losing sleep over me."

Rafe closes his agape mouth at the fact that he's been caught. "Well it's worth it." Then softer, "You're worth it."

You roll your eyes and stand up, Rafe watching you do so. "You shouldn't have to accommodate your entire schedule for me. Honestly, you should go home now and sleep," you suggest earnestly, because all you want is for him to be at his best.

"Only if you'll come with."

Your heart skips a beat and you find yourself rolling your eyes once again, but this time feeling heat creep up on your neck no matter how hard you try to fight it.

It's always something about the way Rafe flirts with you so effortlessly, and how you can tell he means it.

"Fine," you agree gently, saying it as if it was a bad thing (although your suppressed grin gives that away), "c'mon, you stupid idiot."

So, Rafe gets his things together and leaves the signature bleachers with you, this time finding the gall to slip his hand into yours, gingerly squeezing.

All this time, he wondered what it'd be like to hold your hand, and safe to say it's even better than his preconceived expectations.

notes some fluff for these hard times. hope you enjoyed!

#rafe cameron #salem-s works #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe x reader #rafe x y/n #rafe x you #reader insert #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron fluff #rafe outer banks #rafe cameron outer banks #outerbanks #outer banks #rafe cameron x female reader #rafe x female reader #outerbanks rafe

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quarterlifekitty · 2 months ago

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hiii!!! i love everything you do :)

can I ask for porn star/ erotic voice actor ghost x shy civilian reader? i LOVE that concept

ps. get as freaky and nasty as you want. idc what kinks you add. go crazy babes

So, I was trying to think of ideas for this, and I thought... CamStar!Ghost. Sorry, I didn't make this all that freaky lol

Your name doesn't come up a lot in the chat. You don't make the same thirsty, supposedly complimentary remarks as the others viewers. You don't demand to see more of his cock or tell him you wanna feel his balls pressed against your face while he fucks it. But you are consistent.

Just one very simple thank you, Ghost when he announces he's signing off.

You buy the boring shit off of his Throne wishlist. Things that aren't really sexy or fun. Not the pocket pussy shaped like a dragon's mouth. No, you get him the cast iron pot he asked for because he wanted to try making bœuf bourguignon. He has this bizarre feeling when he finally does, like he should be sharing it with you. You don't even know each other's names. He does a great job making it, by the way. Could make Julia Child cry.

He does a raffle. Call him a scam artist, but he rigs it. He doesn't generally give a fuck about most of the people who pay to see his cock. A video call, 30 minutes, completely private. You buy only one entry and win, even though some people bought more than fifty.

Of course you don't start it with your camera on, but he goads you. Tells you how he recognized you name, how nice it was to see you'd won, as opposed to one of those people that seem to have a parasocial obsession with him.

You're comfy, curled up in your chair. A big t-shirt on with some cracked, faded design. A hastily-pulled on facemask. Smart. Your hair looks a little damp, like you're freshly showered and ready for bed. He'd bet you smell clean.

You're very pretty. Not the kind of person he imagined as one of his viewers, considering you look like you could have any man you wanted. You clearly don't know that, though. You've made no effort to charm him, you hadn't even expected to show him what you look like.

"Wha' if I told you... You're jus' my type?"

The mask over your mouth can't hide the shock in your eyes. It fascinates him. He hides his own face on camera, and now he finds himself on the opposite end-- desperate to know what's beneath it all.

"You'd be smart to refuse, but... Would make my fuckin' day if you took your top off."

He's gotta start somewhere, right?

#writing #cod fanfic #cod #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader

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princessbellecerise · 8 months ago

Text

You Kiss Their Scars

Summary ✩ How your lover reacts to you kissing their scars

Warnings ✩ Mentions of violence and blood

Jacaerys Velaryon

You were amused as your lips pressed against the teeth shaped scars, in the shape of tiny little bite marks that Jace explained were from Vermax

“He used to bite me plenty when we shared a crib,” Your husband told you. “He was a nasty little thing. Mother was afraid he’d take a chunk out of my arm—but he never did. He stopped doing it when I bit him back,” He revealed

You giggled as you imagined baby Jace and baby Vermax—both the same size at one point—going at it while Rhaenyra tried to separate them. “So I suppose you’ve both always been temperamental then,” You said

It was no surprise that your husband, who also had quite the temper, related so much to his dragon. The two were one of the same, and you guessed that’s why they got along so well

“Yes,” Jacaerys agreed, a fond smile on his face as he recalled the memories. “We were quite a menacing pair indeed.”

Aegon Targaryen

“She did it again,” Is the only thing Aegon had to tell you in order for you to pull him into your arms, kissing the spot where a nasty red bruise was forming

It was no secret that your husband and his mother did not get along, but never did you think that she would have the audacity to strike him after an argument

It was appalling to you every time it happened, and you wanted nothing more than to march towards her and give the same treatment, Queen be damned

It wasn’t fair that she took out her anger out on Aegon but he begged you, no pleaded with you to not do anything

“It won’t do any good,” He’d tell you sadly, and your heart would ache as you saw the brokenness, the sadness on his face. “She’ll just hate me even more if you act.”

Aemond Targaryen

“Hold still.”

You jutted your tounge out in concentration as you cleaned Aemond’s scar, making sure that it was sanitized properly for the day

Your husband trusting you with such a thing was an act of love itself. The fact that he trusted you to see his deepest insecurity meant alot to you, and all you could do to repay him and hopefully bring up his spirits was pepper light kisses on the skin surrounding it

“There, all done.”

“Thank you, my love,” Aemond smiled slightly as he touched the spots were your lips touched, still wondering how he got so lucky as to find someone like you

Cregan Stark

“Ow! Be gentle, woman,” Cregan said playfully, wincing as you brushed over his ‘scar’ with a wet cloth

Somehow, for some reason, your dear husband thought it would be funny to wrestle with his dire wolf and then he had the nerve to come crawling to you, asking you to patch up his wounds after the beast had bitten him

Of course, it wasn’t really that big of a deal and Cregan wasn’t really hurt, but you still smirked as you pressed a kiss to it like it was a real wound

“There. That should ease some of the pain, you big baby,” You teased, rolling your eyes

Cregan chuckled as he checked your work, looking at the bandage you had placed over some ointment

“What do you suppose it’ll look like when it heals?” He asked you seriously

“It’ll look like you simply have a freckle, Creagn,” You responded sarcastically, and then you giggled as he grabbed your waist and pulled you onto his lap

“Don’t make fun me, wife. You should be proud,” He said, flexing the arm where the bite was. “How many men do you know have taken on such a beast and lived to tell the tale?”

“Only you, husband. Only you.” You snorted at his dramatics, wondering just what you were going to do with your silly, drama queen of a husband

Benjicot Blackwood

There was reason they called your husband ‘Bloody Ben’

You found this out when one day, he came limping home after solving a conflict in the Riverlands, covered in wounds and blood—so much blood

Thankfully, most of it wasn’t his but Benji still did have a few wounds that needed looking after

The Maester was busy, having been sent by your husband to tend to the other men, so you got the pleasure of dragging him to your chambers, making sure that he was clean before you began to stitch him up

The entire time you worked, Benji barely even flinched which amazed you

By the time that you were done with his top half, he’d barely said a word or complained which led to you kissing over a few of his stitches as a reward

“What was that for?” He asked in wonder, a small blush on his cheeks while you grinned

“That, my love, is for being such a good patient,” You told him cheekily, and you did not expect what Benji did next

Standing up, he loosened his trousers and then he grinned as he pointed at the area beneath his small clothes

“Well in that case, I’ll need plenty of kisses here, too. No promises that I won’t move if you touch me there though.”

“Benji!”

#house of the dragon #hotd #jacaerys velaryon #jacaerys velaryon x reader #aegon targaryen #aegon targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #cregan stark #cregan stark x reader #benjicot blackwood #benjicot blackwood x reader

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blueteller · 7 months ago

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Halour, I'm kinda curious... What crimes have Cale done, exactly? I see a number of "crime list" videos about him but the wiki don't really confirm anything💀

— 🌄

...The Time Has Come. 😌

I have long promised this list, so perfect timing! Thank you very much for this question! Allow me to introduce you to:

Cale Henituse's Crime List

(Just for the fun of it, I tried to give a different example for every single one of these. Some events repeat, but not the crimes!)

1) Accessibility of Records for Tax Department

Cale looted significant amounts of money from the Magic Tower and many other places, without leaving any legal trace.

2) Affray

Multiple occasions, like pretty much everything that happened in the Molden Kingdom.

3) Aggravated Assault

Cale rarely gets physically involved in a fight, but I think suddenly strangling Prince Adin qualifies.

4) Aggravated Burglary

Every single time "Real Arm" is in business.

5) Allowing Dog or Cat To Be a Nuisance

How else would you call encouraging your animal shape-shifting kids to be involved in criminal activity? Also Fluffy the Puppy was under Cale's command even if he technically belonged to Princess Jopis, I say it totally counts.

6) Ammunition – Possessing, Acquiring or Carrying

Cale intentionally pocketed magic bombs from the Plaza Terror Incident and used them later on.

7) Animal Cruelty

...Does Cale subjecting On to his "nice act" in front of Litana counts? Oh it definitely counts. That poor child.

8) Armed Robbery

That time Cale & co. robbed the Mercenary Guilds in Leeb-An City, for instance.

9) Arson

Setting the Wind Island on fire.

10) Assaulting or Resisting Police

That time Cale & co. went to Sez Kingdom. Pretty sure the knights trying to stop them from kidnapping the king counts as "resisting law enforcement".

11) Being Disguised With Unlawful Intent

Priest Cale in a nutshell.

12) Blackmail

That time Cale talked to Antonio Gyerre.

13) Breaking and Entering

Cale coming to the Sekka Estate.

14) Careless Driving

Debatable since a fantasy world doesn't own cars – but. I count Cale breaking through walls of a maze on a mother-effing Stone Imugi as "irresponsible driving". Just think of what kind of example you're setting for the kids, Cale!

15) Carrying a Loaded Firearm in Public

Cale has Raon following him everywhere, so.....?

16) Carrying Out Plumbing Work Without License or Registration

Cale has an underground villa in the Forest of Darkness. I'm pretty sure whatever construction work they did there would count as illegal.

17) Carrying Out Work Without a Building Permit

Cale had Dragons teleport an entire castle into the Forest of Darkness. Yet again, involves a building with no legal paperwork.

18) Causing Injury Intentionally

Obviously. Like making fiery lightning bolt strike in the middle of an Elf Village attack. Or hitting a radish with a rock.

19) Collecting or Making Documents Likely to Facilitate Terrorist Acts

Everything involving Knight Rex after he became a terrorist.

20) Conspiracy

Cale and Alberu talking about anything.

21) Control of Body Armor

After reading it up, I decided that mana disruption device ABSOLUTELY falls into this category.

22) Control and Use of Dangerous Articles

Cale adopting pretty much everyone on his team.

23) Corrupting Benefits Received By Commonwealth Public Official

Cale using Alberu's golden plaque to trap the White Star with Embrace. I mean, if being infected with that clown doesn't count as corruption, I don't know what does.

24) Cultivation of Narcotic Plants

Cale letting Hong eat plants in the Forest of Darkness. It IS, in his own words, his own backyard.

25) Dangerous Non-Guard Dog Attacks or Bites a Person or Animal with Person in Control

Cale letting Choi Han beat up Adin. ...Well, Choi Han COULD be counted as a Guard Dog, but. They never formalized the paperwork? I say it counts since Choi Han isn't legally registered!

26) Dealing With Property Suspected of Being Proceeds of Crime

Cale renting a house from Odeus Flynn.

27) Dealing With Property Which Subsequently Becomes an Instrument of Crime

Cale buying the Magic Tower before he proceeds to kidnap Mueller.

28) Delaying the Entry of Police

Cale not letting the law enforcement know about the Plaza Terror Incident beforehand. Also, activating the mana disruption device, knowing it would hinder their efforts to stop terrorism. ...Yes Cale & co. prevented said terrorism better on their own but it still counts.

29) Deliberately Omitting Information

Cale making an Vow of Death to Choi Han claiming that he can't tell him anything.

30) Destroying, Damaging and/or Interfering with Any Works of a Water Corporation

Setting the Lake of God's Tears on fire.

31) Destroying or Damaging Property

Cale destroying houses in the Gyerre territory.

32) Destruction of Evidence

Cale and Raon blowing up Hais Island 5 to cover up Ron's infiltration.

33) Directing the Activities of a Terrorist Organization

Cale's entire career in a nutshell, really.

34) Discharge Missile to Endanger Person or Property

Cale blowing up the whirlpools in the Ubarr territory.

35) Dishonestly Cause a Loss

Cale tricking the White Star into the abandoned underground city.

36) Disturbing Religious Worship

Cale messing with the Sun God's Church for being mean to Mary.

37) Driving an Unregistered Vehicle

Cale & co. using Mary's bone Dragon.

38) Drunkards Behaving in Riotous or Disorderly Manner

Cale pretending to be drunk in the Gyerre territory.

39) Endangering Safety of Aircraft

Cale letting his allies abroad an airship during the Jungle battle.

40) Entering a Place Without Authority or Lawful Excuse

Cale rescuing Raon.

41) Extortion With Threats to Destroy Property

Cale threatening the slave traffickers in the Gyerre territory.

42) Failure to Notify the Authorities of Criminal Activity

Cale doesn't notify Alberu of crap, unless it's to make him clean-up the aftermath.

43) Failure to Register a Pet

Pretty sure Cale registered exactly none of his allies. ...Except maybe the Tiger Tribe that one time they moved into Harris Village with Deruth's permission. Everyone else? Not a chance.

44) Falsifying or Concealing Identity

Cale acting as Naru von Ejellan in Endable Kingdom.

45) Forgery of Documents

Cale and Taylor faking an ancient document to fool the White Star.

46) Fraud

Cale promising Plavin Singten benefits for siding with the new Sun Church.

47) Getting Funds To, From, or For a Terrorist Organization

Cale sponsoring his allies, like giving Rosalyn magic stones.

48) Going Equipped for Stealing

Cale making Real Arm uniform.

49) Handling Stolen Goods

Cale using Divine Items.

50) Identity Theft

Cale introducing himself as Bob.

51) Indecent Assault

Cale telling Choi Han to strip that one time. (Yes, it actually happened. ...Not the way shippers wished for, obviously.)

52) Inducement to Be Appointed Liquidator

Cale helping Princess Jopis overthrow her sister on the condition of benefits for the Roan Kingdom.

53) Insider Trading

Cale selling Alberu dead mana from a Dragon.

54) Intentionally or Recklessly Causing a Bushfire

Cale setting that bush monster on fire in Xiaolen.

55) Introduction of a Drug of Dependence Into the Body of Another Person

Cale letting Rosalyn drink coffee on Earth 3.

56) Kidnapping

Cale & co. capturing Venion Stan.

57) Leaving Children Without Supervision

Cale letting the kids look for Mueller.

58) Lighting of Fires in the Open Air

Cale using Fire of Destruction against Sky Attribute.

59) Loitering Near Schools

Cale & the kittens in the Sez Kingdom.

60) Loitering With Intent to Commit an Indictable Offence

Cale letting Clopeh Sekka spot him that first time.

61) Manslaughter

Cale letting Choi Han, Rosalyn and Lock go and destroy the Archduke's Estate.

62) Membership of a Terrorist Organization

Cale making up Real Arm.

63) Murder

Cale killing the White Star.

64) Negligent Manslaughter

Cale letting Ron go on a vacation.

65) Non-dangerous Dog Attacks

Cale letting Choi Han spar with Hilsman.

66) Obtaining Property By Deception

Litana giving Cale free stuff.

67) Offences Connected With Explosive Substances

Cale commissioning Eruhaben to create Dragon's Rage.

68) Other Acts Done in Preparation for, or Planning, Terrorist Acts

Every morning Cale drinks lemon tea.

69) Possessing More Fish Than the Catch Limit

Cale dealing with Whales. ...Whales are fish, what are you talking about?

70) Possessing Controlled Weapon, Housebreaking Implements, and Things Connected With Terrorist Attacks

Everything Cale owns in the Super Rock Villa.

71) Possession of Precursor Chemicals

Cale making Billos buy alchemy ingredients.

72) Prohibited Weapons

Cale utilizing the Dragon Bones in battle.

73) Providing or Receiving Training Connected With Terrorist Acts

Cale letting his people train in his backyard.

74) Public Nuisance

Cale letting Choi Han act.

75) Reckless Conduct Endangering Life and/or Endangering Serious Injury

Cale every time he uses his Ancient Powers.

76) Recruiting for a Terrorist Organization

Cale adopting the Tiger Tribe.

77) Robbery

Stealing magic stones from the Alchemy Towers.

78) Sabotage

Cale going behind the Empire's back while he helps out the Whipper Kingdom.

79) Setting Traps to Kill

Cale Ghost Operation during the sea battle against the Indomitable Alliance.

80) Smuggling

Cale helping Cage and Taylor into capital.

81) Stalking

Cale entering Alberu's bedroom whenever he wants.

82) Stating False Name When Requested

Cale never letting anyone know about the transmigration and calling himself Cale Henituse.

83) Tax Evasion

Willful tax evasion for sudden wealth increase.

84) Terrorist Acts

Cale & co. detonating a bomb at Maple Castle.

85) Theft

Cale obtaining the blood drinking crown.

86) Threats to Inflict Serious Injury

Cale & co. threatening King Bakehe.

87) Threats to Kill

Cale cheerfully informing Adin he's going to personally kill him.

88) Torture and Interrogation

Cale ordering Beacrox to deal with the Magic Spearman.

89) Unauthorized Access to Restricted Data

Cale & co. coming to the Directory. ...Yes Bud was the Mercenary King so technically it was legal, except from the Mercenary Guild's perspective, it was break and entering.

80) Unlawful Assembly

Cale hanging out with Dragons.

81) Unlawful Oaths to Commit Treason

Cale promising to destroy the Alchemy Belltower to Rei Stecker.

82) Unlicensed Driving

Cale riding Dark Tiger Alberu.

83) Willful Damage

Cale employing Archie to destroy Duke Sekka's statues.

Any other crimes I forgot to list? Let me know!

***

BONUS CONTENT

With the help of others, we've expanded the original list of Cale's crimes!

84) Aiding and Hiding Fugitives

Cale helping out Hannah and Jack.

85) Aircraft Hijacking

Cale & co. taking over the Empire's airships.

86) Being an Accessory to Crimes

All Cale's deals with Billos in a nutshell.

87) Child Labor Law Violation

Cale making children work for their meals. Even if he's actually just adopting strays under the guise of formal work, said formal work is still illegal. Just admit you care, you weirdo.

88) Defamation

Cale spreading recordings of Adin being evil acros the Empire.

89) Deliberate Damage and/or Destruction of Currency

Cale happily throwing coins into lava.

90) Ecoterrorism

Wiping whole islands off the map counts as severe destruction of the environment.

91) Fly-tipping/Littering

Cale casually defenestrating Adin. Watch where you throw garbage, Cale. There are trash bins for a reason!

92) Harassment

Cale ordering Beacrox to beat up mountain bandits.

93) Illegal Detention/Imprisonment

Capturing prisoners of war, like the Dragon Half-Blood or the Flame Dwarves.

94) Illegal Goods Trade

Cale selling and buying items at the Caro Kingdom Auction.

95) Impersonation

Cale pretending to be different people in the Indignity Test.

96) Intentional Destruction of Cultural Heritage

Cale setting the Lake of God's Tears on Fire. Also, blowing up the Magic Tower.

97) Plunder of Public Property

Cale & co. destroying the walls of the capital of the Empire.

98) Trafficking Endangered Plants Accross Borders

Cale transporting the Fake World Tree in his badge.

99) Treason of the Crown

Cale treating his Hyung-nim with utter disrespect, such as comparing the Shining Sun of the Kingdom to a squirrel.

100) Trespassing

Cale in Endable Kingdom.

BONUS BONUS CONTENT

Not technically illegal, but:

101) Crime Against One's Well-Being

Cale abusing his health in such horrific ways even a regeneration power cannot keep up with him.

102) Crime Against Fashion

Cale preferring only black and plain clothes when he could look good in anything.

103) Crime of Self-Delusion

Cale thinking he still has a chance at slacker life.

104) Spreading Misinformation

Cale's track record of causing misunderstandings everywhere he goes is frankly terrifying.

105) THAT FACE

Cale's fabulous looks are a crime in of itself. It deserves a spot on the list.

#tcf #trash of the count's family #lcf #lout of count's family #tcf humor #cale henituse #cale #tcf cale #cale's criminal record #q&a #replies

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is-the-sky-blue · 2 months ago

Text

NEW LIFE: GOJO SATORU & GETO SUGURU

Chapter 1 - Strangers, Stupefy, Suspension

Synopsis: When you are thrust into a new life of motherhood you find yourself overwhelmed.

Warnings: Angst (with a happy ending), fluff, satosugu x reader, creepy old man, mention of teen pregnancy (reader is not pregnant)

>Part 1< Part 2 Part 3

Being a teen mom is scary and strange to say the least

You never planned for this to happen but then again you guess no one plans to become a teen parent. But at least with pregnancies they are an expecting parent, they have time to prepare, ready themselves to adjust to their new life, but you were pushed into a life of children without any forewarning. Suddenly a care taker of three five year olds and a six year old despite being almost a hundred percent sure that you didn't even have your period six years ago.

It's an inexplicable feeling to comprehend the idea of being a mother of four despite never having sex. A strange thought for children to manifest in your life without any time to prepare. You didn't have the scare of not having your period for a month, never needing to buy a pregnancy test to try it out while praying for only one line as the thought of lugging around a swollen belly throughout campus sent anxious beads of sweat down your spine. Never giving birth but even if adoption encompassed the same criteria at least these parents could plan, filling out paperwork as they searched online for beds and toys in the mean time.

Even with foster parents they are expecting a child to enter their home to some extent, ready to open their doors yet you never undid the lock, it was kicked down with a battering ram as you didn't only face the responsibility of caring for one life like most expecting parents, but four.

It's a bizarre emotion to come to terms with as you sit at your laptop in the dead of night, trying to scroll quietly as you read forums, and scoured through mommy blogs, finding parenting books only to half relate to each confessing adult.

No one is ever ready to be a parent, a line that struck close to home yet as they continue so did your disconnect, reading words that contained foreign experiences as they try to console the masses but not you. Sharing how motherhood is a struggle yet as you watch your child grow you slowly get accustomed to it, figuring out your child's unique quirks, their likes, dislikes and what works for your family. That after birth and you hold your child for the first time a sense of maternal love washes over you. How changing your baby's diaper for the first time and feeding them are moments where your connection only grows and you find a way to handle your conflicting emotions. They continue to go on, stating that it's fine to make mistakes, confessing how they accidentally burned their baby's hand with a curling iron but they'd forget soon enough anyways, brains not able to retain memories from so young yet you couldn't afford making such mistakes. Your children will most definitely remember any accidental pain or misstep you make, after all even in your high school years you could still recall stories of your elementary youth.

You couldn't afford to inflict anymore trauma whether it be purposeful or not, especially since these children you huddled in your home carried a dark past with them that you struggled to light up, your bulb barely dim, struggling to even create a spark to brighten their situation.

Your experiences with children limited, even in your youth you never hung around kids your own age much, living with only your grandmother facilitating an environment where you spent a lot of free time listening to gossip about other townsfolk in your village and how your neighbours, cousins, mailman apparently had an affair. You spent more time learning how to cut fruit into fun shapes like dragons, knowing how to traditionally make matcha and play shogi with your elders instead of playing tag in the back parking lot of your school after class.

Your living room often filled with elderly grandmas as they huddled around your tv, peeling apples as the latest episode of their favourite soap opera graced the screen, yelling about the stupidity of the male lead as you walked inside through the genkan rather than having peers over where you inevitably talked more than studying for your upcoming test. However instead of it being peers or elders on your couch it was now children, four children that you had to pay attention to. You couldn't let your inexperience keep you from caring for them.

You couldn't let your habits of letting your boyfriends handle it continue on. No longer able to just push off the responsibility of letting, usually, Suguru coax a crying kid out from where they hid in an abandoned warehouse while on a mission whereas you focused more on smashing cursed spirits through walls.

You couldn't do that now, no monster in your living room to divert your attention towards while a child sobbed. Suguru couldn't handle it every single time, you had to uplift their mood, had to make conversation even if you could only nod your head at their incoherent ramblings, often puzzled as you sat silently but attempting to appear attentive, but you knew you were bad at it. It was obvious, especially when Satoru popped next to you, sparking a delight into the children as he gasped and laughed, their big grins never targeted towards you.

You were unable to find a way to form a sense of connection, it was as though a growing ravine separated you from the rest of your mushed , abruptly pieced together family. You were a household unit, a family but it felt instead of being a caretaker you were some sort of second cousin twice removed who crashed on the couch in the basement, an invisible presence that no one acknowledged as you ignored any and all responsibilities.

Opting to hide in the kitchen instead of tying pigtails on little girls while they got ready for school. Trying to keep a sense of distance as you watched Suguru weave intricate styles, a job you'd traditionally have, knowing full well you were better at braiding than the long haired man as it was often your hands doing his hair and yet you busied yourself with flipping pancakes, pretending not to see him struggle with the small thin hair tie, not acknowledging how he snapped a third one while trying to secure one of the twins' ponytails.

Part of you just refused to acknowledge these children as your own, unsure on how to become their parent when you yourself were still a child. It slightly felt as though if you didn't interact with them then maybe this wouldn't be your reality, this wouldn't be your life.

It's not that you didn't want to be apart of this new family, it's just that you didn't know how, any exchange between you and one of the kids that inhabited your home feeling awkward at best as you stumbled through your minimal knowledge collected on children, ideas you've read yet struggled to implement.

You weren't sure if any of them even quite knew who you were despite it almost nearing a month of them being in your care, a relatively short period of time in the grand scheme of things but a long one when considering you've been with them 24/7.

You were useless, a straggler in this house who offered nothing other than a salary. Suguru and Satoru had fallen into their roles almost seamlessly. Geto you could expect this from with his already caring nature but even the arrogant Gojo was doing better than you.

You were an unneeded presence, every passing moment left you thinking what would happen if you packed your bags and disappeared, would it matter, would anyone in this house care. It's not like the family dynamics would shift, not like you'd abandon any responsibilities as you carried none in the first place.

The only thing you'd leave in your presence was a salary that wouldn't even create much an impact with Satoru carrying the Gojo name and wealth, the disappearance of your cheque merely seeming like a couple of cents to this household.

You found yourself wondering what your life would currently be like if you had taken Satoru and Suguru up on their initial offer.

It was like a domino effect, the three of you separating to go on individual missions. You could still remember the day as you sat on the stairs leading to Jujutsu Tech, Satoru's messages letting you know he was on his way back, with a surprise at that

You were rubbing your arms for warmth as you pondered exactly what surprise he'd be bringing, maybe a souvenir or new snack he'd wanted you to try. "(Y/N)!!!!" he called and you sprung to your feet with a grin, spotting his head of white hair skipping down the sidewalk, his empty hands sparking confusion before your eyes landed on two short bodies trailing after him.

His surprise was two children he had kidnapped.

"I missed you" and his arms wrapped around you instantly, a puckered kiss landing on your cheek as you tried to squirm out of his grip, peering over his shoulder at the two kids who still stood a few meters away, Satoru's sudden burst of speed not reciprocated by the children.

"Who" you furrowed your brows with a whisper "are they?" you tried to keep your voice low, not wanting them to hear but it seems as though the man didn't get the memo

"This is Megumi and Tsumiki Fushiguro!" he grinned, patting the tops of their head, or at least trying to, Tsumiki compliant while Megumi tried to swat him away. "They're Toji's kids," he stated as though it was no big deal, "and well you know about the Zenin clan," he yammers off and to be honest you were tuning him out after that moment, staring at the two children who met your gaze. "And you know how I kinda kille-"

"Yeah yeah I get it," you cut him off, knowing full well that this wasn't an appropriate conversation topic to have with the children, of said dead man, around. "So what are they doing here," you tried to say in an unoffensive tone, not wanting them to think they were an undesired presence.

"Well I was thinking of keeping them safe so the Zenin clan doesn't get their mangy little hands on them," he whistles, trotting up the steps as he wandered towards the school "let's get inside first, it's kinda cold," he hummed.

The Fushiguro children had quickly taken residence in your bedroom and you left them in Satoru's care, spending a few more hours in the main school building under the pretense of training to give the kids a bit more space, or at least that's what you rationalized to yourself, not wanting to confront your true feelings of discomfort and shock as you let Satoru entertain them, his lack of comments on your missing presence further solidifying your attempts to distance yourself to figure out your new situation. Suddenly a care taker to two children you had never met before but were reminiscent of a man you had disdained.

It wasn't until you returned back to your room that night, exactly two days after Satoru's arrival, that you realized Suguru had returned. You expected to merely see two children in your room, not four. You weren't ready, not prepared for a surprise of any sort and your shock was evidence, your feelings far more evident than with Satoru as you froze in the entrance, almost immediately catching sight of two little girls standing on your desk chair in front of the bathroom mirror clinging to Suguru as he stood, comb in hand.

"Oh" was the only thing you could say, the two girls appearing disheveled, bruises loitering their sunken faces, and you noted the slightly bloody towel on the floor, the neat bandages wrapped around their bodies and plastered on their face.

"You just missed Shoko," Satoru commented but you couldn't take you attention away from the other set of children that infiltrated your space. You caught Suguru's eyes instead, a cursory glance thrown over his shoulder as he offered a shaky smile, facade far more pale, a sense of fear loitering in his gaze.

"I-Is that so," you try to divert again, replying back to Satoru as you slipped off your shoes, trying to regain a sense of composure. "Well," you paused your bag slumping against the floor with a heavy thump and you watched as the girls grabbed for Suguru, paranoid glances being shot your way as he pat their heads, trying to soothe them. "You should probably dampen the ends of their hair, it'd help," you offer, watching as he struggled to get through the tight knots in their locks, "but it also might be best to cut off the ends," you murmur, averting your gaze as you unpacked your bag, putting your textbook back onto your bookshelf, sending a small nod to the Fushiguro siblings who perched on your bed, peering at you over the manga you let them borrow, "because they are so dry."

"You think so," he hummed and you felt a sudden rush of anxiety overwhelm you, your ability to suppress your flooding feelings slowly dwindling after only a few seconds. They doubled from two to four. You hadn't even adjusted to the thought of two new presences in your life, but now it felt all too real. You couldn't ignore it, your feeling of helplessness as you stared at what you quickly realized would become your family. Four children you weren't consulted about, four children who now only had you and your boyfriends to rely on.

"I just realized," you purse your lips, trying to push back the bitter bile that suddenly rose in your throat, these sudden changes looming over you as your small dormitory grew tighter with each second, as though the walls were closing in. "I forgot my water bottle at the track," you attempted to persuade, keeping tears at bay as you clenched your fists, still not ready to confront reality, not ready to enter this type of life. "I'm just gonna go and-" you were hastily slipping your shoes on, feeling your fingers shake, "g-get it real quick," and you couldn't hide the shaky crack in your voice, your ill concealed suffocation known.

You had left that day, you probably could've never returned, but you did, taking four hours too long to supposedly grab your water bottle. It was dark when you re-entered, quiet, the only light from a dim computer screen on your desk and the warm glow from your lamp on your side table. You could make out four children sprawled about your room, the twins asleep beneath the covers of your bed, the Fushiguros each taking up a bean bag chair. Small snores filling the air along with whispered mumbles

"(Y/N)," they had called softly upon hearing the creak of the door, eyes suddenly on you. Bodies quick to rise to greet you.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier," Suguru approached first, his hand resting on your cheek and you stared up at him, refusing to let the pit in your stomach grow and let your bottom lip wobble. "I texted you but I should've called you."

"It's fine," you nod, "It's my fault for not checking my messages" you sighed, remembering the list of texts between Suguru and Satoru that you had finally read after leaving, messages sent before Suguru had arrived home loitering on your phone, mentions of the dark haired man's discovery and how he'd be bringing the girls back that your silenced phone didn't let you privy to. No notifications of his warning jumping to your home screen. "What are you two doing" you hummed, trying to shift the conversation, unable to take his pitiful glance any longer, slipping from his grip, not believing in yourself to stay composed in his grasp but part of you wished you hadn't, the screen holding images of houses for sale.

"We were looking for somewhere new to move into," Satoru explained, "we need more space," he gestured throughout your room and you paused, the situation suddenly growing even more real.

"Move," you paused, eyes downcast as you tried to steady your breaths but jolted when Suguru tried to hug you from behind, escaping from his comforting hold, not ready, not willing to fall apart right now.

"Yeah..." Suguru trailed off, slowly retreating his hands to his pockets, your refusal clearly hurting but even with the look on his face that had been there since he retrieved the two girls you couldn't find any more of yourself to spare, not able to emotionally handle the grief apparent in his features along with your whirlpool of flustering feelings.

"If you don't want to move you don't have to," Satoru says suddenly, catching your attention.

"What do you mean, you just said we couldn't stay here because the kids need more space," you snapped at him with a hushed tone, unsure on why there was an anger rising within you.

"Yes they do, but you don't have to go with them."

"So you want to buy a house and let them live alone," you quirked a furrowed brow and you felt a thick tension rise in the air.

"No," Suguru hesitated, "we were considering moving out with them and letting you stay... here."

"What-" you frown turning to him, feeling those tears sting, unable to keep them away, "are you trying to abandon me."

"It's not that!" Satoru is quick to reassure, voice reaching an octave too high, the sudden groan coming from your bed sending the three of you into quick silence before the shuffling ceased and one of the twins, you didn't know who, still unsure on either of their names, returned to sleep.

"You didn't sign up to take care of them," Suguru said in a hushed tone, "we don't want to force you into a parent position when you don't have to be, after all it was Satoru and I who brought them here, you don't have to take responsibility for them."

You stared at the ground in front of you, letting water blur your vision as you bit your lip. "You are clearly uncomfortable and we just don't want you to feel like you have no choice but to go along with us."

"What do you mean I have a choice, of course I don't have a choice," you snap, feeling a rivulet cascade down your cheek.

"Baby you don't have to come with us."

"What do you mean, of course I do. We are dating aren't we, what would happen to our relationship if I just stayed here, huh," you began to spout incredulously, feeling a sob quietly wrack out form, trying your best not to make too much sound, not wanting more onlookers as you fell apart, "do you want to break up with me, is that it, is this just your way of trying to break up with me," you shudder.

"O-of course not," Satoru stuttered clearly taken aback by your sudden crumbling, aware of your slowly slipping sanity but not expecting the breaking point to be when they were trying to offer you an out.

"We love you so much, you know that don't you," and Suguru is staring at you with a pleading look, fist clenching, unsure on whether he should make a move forward.

"Then you wouldn't be trying to leave me like this" you pursed your lips, staring at them with anger as you balled your hands.

It was dropped after that, you followed them, the escape you thought you needed, the door you thought was locked was opened by them, mournful glances as they clearly did not want you missing but allowed you a chance anyways, shut by your own hands, sealed with your own will.

You had stayed on your own accord, demanded that you wanted to stay which only further fueled the guilt you carried as you stumbled about clumsily, clearly not fit for the lifestyle you somewhat voluntarily signed up for.

This is a choice you made, you just had to work harder to be able to fulfil the role you wanted to claim and today was a great opportunity to make some sort of progress in that mission.

"I specifically demanded that a parent or guardian is present not a sibling!" the man in front of you rumbled, his brows furrowed as he stared you and the little boy next to you down, his cheek covered with a band-aid that accompanied the matching ones on his palm and knee. His lips pulled into a pout as he sent a resentful glare to the older that lectured you both.

"I'm sorry," you could only bow, hyperaware of how young you truly are to be Megumi's caretaker but you couldn't dwell on the thought, not right now. The heavy hearted sigh that released afore you had you stiffening.

"Regardless you and you family need to take better care of that brat, problem children aren't allowed in my school, learn to discipline him," and the gruff words had you gripping the arm rests of your chair to keep your anger in check.

"I would prefer it if you didn't call him such names," you attempted politely

"And I would prefer it if he didn't hit his fellow classmates," he spat, gesturing to the boy and his family who sat in the seat across from you, the black eye having boy clinging to his mother's shirt, eyes rimmed with red as he stuck his tongue out at Megumi. "Especially classmates who are children of esteemed benefactors that help keep our schools programs running" he tacked on and you had to bite your lip from spewing that no money was being donated to the school but his greedy pockets, knowing full well that art programs were still fully reliant on parents to provide materials to their children, after all it was you who visited the craft store more than once, but then again he probably assumed you were just an ignorant elder sister who didn't know much.

"That's right! Do you know how much it'd cost if we decided to press charges," yet another pompous man chimed, twiddling with the end of his mustache "we are clients to one of the best law firms of the country, in fact we are one of their biggest investors," and you had to keep yourself from tsking at his flaunt of wealth knowing there was a black card in a certain blue eyed boy's pocket that'd be able to buy all their assets and not make a dent into the never ending digits of his bank account.

"I am truly sorry that Megumi hurt your child but I'm sure he had a reason for acting out, he's a sweet kid I swear," you explain, knowing full well of his kindness, despite being merely an onlooker the way he watched out for his elder sister and the twins as well was evidence of his caring personality.

"Are you saying my kid deserved to get punched by that brute," the mother finally huffed, still holding onto her child.

"That's not what I sai-"

"Then what are you saying, I mean look at my son, our heir, do you think he received these bruises because they were merely roughhousing."

"I'm just trying to state that your son might've done something to trigger Megumi is all, I mean he's hurt too."

"For gods sake kid," the principal tsked, "you just don't get it, it doesn't matter whether or not that boy is hurt the Sato heir has been harmed by his filthy little han-"

"I don't appreciate you badmouthing my son in front of me! Megumi's wellness is also important!" you snapped, furrowing your brows, "as an educator you should treat these boys equally despite how much money his dad gives you."

"Ha!" the so called prestigious father snickered, "son," he whistled and you could feel a sudden sense of dread shadow over you, "looks like I see where that runt gets it from now, how old are you anyway," and his eyes seemed to rake slowly up and down, his leering gaze causing you to cringe in your seat. "When'd you get knocked up, huh," he chuckled and you clutched the arm rest, trying your best just to grit your teeth are bare it.

"I don't think that's an appropriate thing to say in front of children."

"Well you are far from appropriate it seems," he chuckled once more, "if you are so willing to spread your legs I'll make sure to give a well disciplined kid," he smirked, a grotesque face that had a wave of nausea churn in your gut and you could feel the wood splinter beneath your hands, your expression of disgust mirrored on his wife's face but she was quick to recompose herself.

It wouldn't be hard to make it look like a cursed spirit attacked and left some deceased in their wake. "Calm down sweetheart don't get your panties in a bunc- AHH" he jolted, toppling from his chair with a heavy thud. "What's wrong with you!" he screamed, fingers reaching up to touch his face, horrified to find a slit of blood leaking from his cheek.

"Calm down old man, wouldn't want you having a heart attack now," you growled, fully standing as you retracted your arm, tsking at the splinter of wood sticking out the far wall, piercing the hung portrait of the principal, he once sat in front of, right in the heart.

"I- are you crazy!" the principal fumed, stumbling to his feet as suddenly the Sato boy burst into a fright of tears, clinging to his mother, "what kind of psychopath bitc-"

"Let's go Megumi," you cut him off, keeping him from saying such words to the little boy as you tap his shoulder, hauling his backpack off the floor as you ushered him out the room, double doors slamming open as other administrators rushed in, startled by the sudden commotion but you walked through the crowd, bodies parting as you led Megumi out of the office, a silence washing over you two as you exited out the main doors, quietly walking down the steps, the click of metal ringing as you slung the backpack over one of your shoulders, little keychains hitting one another as you approached the crosswalk, staring at the big red hand that faced the two of you as the little automated beeps echoed the movements of your prodding fingers.

"Hold my hand..." you break the silence, extending a palm out to the boy but his sudden blank stare had you slightly recoiling.

"Why?" he just furrowed his brows looking up at you.

"Uh," you pause, you didn't quite have an answer you just knew that children were supposed to hold the hands of someone older while crossing the street, "for safety," you offer and he shakes his head.

"How is you holding my hand gonna keep me safe," he huffed, "we'll just both get hit by a car instead."

"Oh, well..." you think, "if there is a car, I'll be able to get you out of the way quicker by throwing you to the other sidewalk if I'm holding your hand," you try and his unnerved gaze had you questioning your every word before a heavy sigh left his lips, his hand meeting yours just as the crosswalk switched.

"I probably got suspended or expelled," he suddenly piped, seemingly unbothered as the two of you stepped across the street.

"Yeah sorry 'bout that," you apologize with a scratch of your head.

"It's not your fault," he murmured, "I would've got suspended even if you didn't throw a chair at that jerk's dad."

"I didn't throw the whole chair, just part of it."

"Does it really matter, you still threw a chair at him," and you didn't have anything to say back to that as he soon pulled out of your grasp as your feet met pavement again. "And you broke the principal's painting."

"Okay I get it," you mumble, suddenly feeling like a scolded child as you readjusted the backpack slung across your shoulder before you caught sight of the blooming bruise on his cheek, a red scab of slowly drying blood crusted on his lip and you looked up to glance at the sky before he could catch you staring. "Well uhm, it's kinda hot today," you pitch, the barely peeking sun creeping out from behind the clouds, the gloomy sky, clearly going against your comment, "do you want to go get ice cream..?"

Suddenly his feet halted from where he stomped in front of you, the pebble he was kicking running sideways into the road as he spun around, "ice cream.." he paused, skeptical, "why?"

"J-Just because," you stammer, "it's hot, aren't you warm," you try to play it off, "we can go to the corner store just down there," and you point down street, the floor sign advertising a new product a couple meters away indicating where the shop was located.

"I got into a fight today," he huffed, "why are you giving me a treat."

"Man aren't you just supposed to say okay and book it until I change my mind," you raise an accusing brow.

"Well you're being weird, you aren't really good at this whole parenting thing."

"Sorry for not being a professional," you scoff half heartedly, sparing a lopsided smile as you lead him towards the store. "So let's just go yeah?" and you speed up your pace.

It didn't take long for you to reach the door, the boy obviously more excited than he was letting on with the way he rushed alongside you, the ringing of the bell above the door singing as you pushed open the glass, letting him walk in first before you travelled through the store you knew all too well, the place a spot you used to frequent in your first year, Satoru loving the strawberry swirl twin pops that he'd eat all on his own, the artificial flavour a bit too much for even your palate and something Suguru would rather jump off a bridge than eat, Shoko not even option to share with but it's not like he minded, far too excited to eat both on his own.

The big brand covered blue floor freezers greeted you and you stared through the glass top, the colourful packaging catching your eye before a mop of spiky hair planted next to you, tippy toes trying to push themselves to their full height, unable to glance inside. "Do you want some hel-"

"No," he was adamant, bouncing up and down as he scanned, "I want that one" he slammed the clear lid, little hand smacking absentmindedly, obviously unaware of his options as he chose at random.

"Okay," you grin, spotting the strawberry twin pops but you ignored where he pointed, knowing full well the little kid wouldn't enjoy it, your observations over the past few weeks leading you to believe he enjoyed chocolate more based on the snacks he'd specifically choose from the stash Satoru would bring home almost everyday. "Here," and you yank out a chocolate covered vanilla ice cream, handing the packet to him before grabbing one of your own, "I like these ones too," you muse.

You were quick to head to the register, coin pouch at the ready, "but still, why would you buy me something for getting into a fight," he said again, his demeanor more worried, eyes a bit wider and you hum, trying to formulate an answer.

"Well you're a sweet kid, I know that much."

"But I beat up another kid."

"For a good reason."

"How would you know that."

"Because that boy was picking on Mimiko," you state, placing down both your items onto the counter, flashing a smile to the cashier as you pay. "Thank you," you wave to the worker, pushing open the door to let Megumi out.

"How do you know that," he finally asks, his peering eyes curious.

"That kid had her hair tie on his wrist," you note, unwrapping his dessert, pulling the wrapper down around the stick, words of mommy blog past telling you how to avoid sticky hands before handing it to him. "And it's certainly no coincidence that Mimiko and Nanako are on a field trip today," you continue, watching as he breaks through the outer chocolate layer, the cream cooling his slightly swollen lip.

"You are weird," he huffs and you can only reach down to ruffle his hair.

"Back at ya!"

You were quick to patch him up once you got home, little lessons you learned from Shoko and your line of work making first aid second nature as you applied ointments to his lips and ice to his bruises before letting him rest in his room, quietly taking respite in your own bed, the sound of children voices entering your home not stirring you to stand as you lay, lingering words itching at your skin.

'When'd you get knocked up, huh.' You aren't even an actual teen mom and yet these comments sent a disgust shiver around your bones, a gnawing discomfort sucking at your marrow as you curl tighter, it felt shameful, scary, your situation was misinterpreted and you felt so sick, you couldn't believe how others your age who actually went through the fearful process felt.

Squeezing your eyes shut you let a singular stray tear fall down onto your pillow before wiping it away, not letting sadness linger before slowly letting the heavy blankets fall off your body, pushing yourself to sit at the end of the mattress. They were home you should greet them.

But you couldn't bare to move.

The clock ticked closer to dinner and yet Megumi hadn't seen you leave your room. The door sealed shut, neither the blue eyed freak or Suguru had gone to check in on you so he just assumed it was fine. They had returned a few hours ago and yet you hadn't gone out to greet them, but he didn't bother to pry, not when he was tasked with setting up the table, carrying bowls of steaming rice from where his sister stood at the counter, spooning it into bowls at the rice cooker, to the oval wooden table a few meters away.

He found it strange, taking notice of your lack of presence when everyone sat down to eat, no one called for you, but then again you often missed dinner. The few weeks they had all gathered in this new home missing your presence at the dining table during all meals, your presence only ever loitering in the kitchen either prepping or serving foods, never taking a moment to sit down with them, always in some type of rush.

He knew this and yet it felt weird not to have you around, the singular chair that remained empty suddenly feeling like an eyesore as he picked at his broccoli.

"So Megumi do you wanna tell me what happened to your face yet," Suguru finally asked, turning away from little Mimiko who finished her story.

"Nothing," it was dismissive, shoving the chunk of broccoli into his mouth, trying to avoid conversation under the pretense of having his mouth full, even if he wasn't fond of the flavour.

"So you got those bruises from nothing," the gremlin man asked him and Megumi scrunched his face, waving his hand at the giant to try and shoo him away. "Megum-"

"Satoru leave it for now," Suguru hummed, taking notice of the little ears listening in from all around the table, "he's not too hurt right Megs," he grinnned, trying to ease the worried look on Tsumiki's face.

"Mhm," he grumbled.

The food filling their plates came and went and soon enough after a few episodes of cartoons the two men were hauling him and his sisters off to bed, and unfortunately the glasses weirdo was in charge of tucking him in.

"So you want to tell me what happened at school," he prodded again, crouching down right next to the side of his bed and Megumi just stared up at this ceiling, ignoring his alien eyes.

"No."

"Well can you just tell me anyways."

"No."

"Jeez tough crowd," he sighed, slumping his head onto the mattress as he flopped to his butt, the low toddler bed easy for him to lean on from the ground. "Seriously you don't want to tell me anything."

"Yup."

"Well then, anything notable that happened at school that doesn't have to do with the bruises on your face," he asked, trying to get something out of the boy.

"Mmm," he just groaned, flipping over to his side, back to the man as he faced the wall "well," and Satoru could pick up on the lingering question weighing on the boy's mind.

"What is it," he quietly spoke, as though if speaking loudly would spook the query away.

"What does being knocked up mean?" he finally spoke.

"Huh!" the man all but shouted, startled by the words and Megumi flipped around to face the perturbed adult, glasses on the tip of his nose as he stared at the kid, mouth agape.

"Never mind," he grumbled.

"Wait, wait, wait," the man rambled, suddenly springing to his knees, lurching forward to try and keep Megumi from dismissing him, "where'd you hear that?" yeah maybe knocked up as in knocking on a door, right, he tried to reason, hoping context would help his situation.

"At school,"

"Who said that, and why,"

"Why are you asking so many questions," the boy grimaced, suddenly feeling interrogated, "just go, let me go to bed."

"Megumi can't you just tell m- OW," and the boy started thrashing, kicking at the tall white haired man, trying to force him out of his room.

"Just leave you old man!" he yelled, suddenly feeling his kicks no longer connect as the sorcerer reactivated his infinity.

"Okay, okay," and he pushed to his feet, rubbing at his arm, pretending to be harmed more than he was while the child only stuck his tongue out, clearly feeling no remorse as he got out of bed to try and push him away faster, door being slammed the moment his feet left the threshold of his door, nearly being slammed between the wood as the sound resonated throughout the hall.

"What was that about?" Suguru asked, quietly shutting the door to the twins' room, brow raised in confusion.

"Megumi just asked me what being knocked up means," he murmured, still quite shocked.

"What?" Suguru jolted, shoulders straightening as his eyes narrow in confusion, "wait why."

"I don't know, I tried to ask but he kicked me out," and he gestured to the door.

"Should I go try and as-"

"What's going on," it was a quiet voice, the small peek of warm light pouring into the dim hall, and they spotted your head around the door frame, hair messy as you whispered.

"It's just about Megumi," Satoru sighed, walking over to you before snaking his arms around you, resting his chin on your shoulder as you perch on your tippy toes, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.

"Did something happen," you mumble, head resting on his chest as he swayed slightly, the only sound you caught was Satoru's surprised yelp before Megumi called him old and threw him out, the sound quite amusing and you were eager to catch the expression on his face, however his warm touch was still welcomed even if you missed the perturbed look you wanted to see and giggle at.

"Megumi asked me what being knocked up meant," and you felt a wash of dread strike you.

"O-oh is that so," you tried to laugh it off, "is this what kids talk about in school," you attempt but Satoru felt you stiffen in his grip the moment the words left his lips and it seemed Suguru caught the flash of a certain emotion cross your face.

"You picked Megumi up from school today right," Suguru approached, soft smile on his lips as he took ahold of your hand that rested on Satoru's back.

"Yeah," you breathed, suddenly feeling a strange sense of guilt.

"Was there anything specific that happened, I noticed that he had some bruises on his face," he continued, his tone was gentle, yet you still felt unsettled.

"Oh, well he got into a fight with one of his classmates."

"Hm," and Satoru pulled away, hands planted on your shoulders as he stared at you, "did he win."

"Toru that can't be your first question," Suguru sighs and he pulls the two of you into your shared room, worried that not asleep children would listen in on your conversation.

"But it's important," the man groaned, flopping back first onto the bed.

"You're such a weirdo," Suguru mumbled, taking a spot next to him before opening his arms for you to rest in, but you merely opted to sit next to the laying bodies, interlacing your hand with his, your actions clearly unexpected.

"And you like that," Satoru wiggled his brows before Suguru let a heavy hand fall onto his gut, laughing at his groan.

"Anyways do you know why he got into a fight," Suguru raised a brow and you reach to play with his hair, toying with the ends.

"Some boy was picking on Mimiko at school," and this seemed to catch their attention as both of their gazes snap towards yours, "Megumi gave him a good beating though," you snickered.

"If he didn't I would, maybe I still will," the blue eyed boy mumbled and you couldn't restrain your laugh, feeling that guilt wash away.

"You can't beat up a little kid."

"Who says."

"The law."

"But regardless does that mean you got called in to the office."

"Yeah," you hum, you small ministrations of toying with his hair halting as your tried to suppress the bubbling memories, "I think he might've gotten expelled."

"For beating up one kid? What about that boy, he was picking on Mimiko," Satoru jolted to sit, face full of rage.

"No I think it might also be my fault," you sigh and decide to lay on your back grabbing one of the pillows to hold close to your chest .

"Your fault... what'd you do," and Satoru is grinning, prying eyes prodding at you and you couldn't help but turn away.

"I kinda threw part of a chair at the boy's dad."

"You threw a chair," Suguru laughed incredulously.

"Only part of it!" you whined.

"But you threw a chair," and Satoru joined in on the laughter as Suguru pulled you close, his chuckles vibrating in his chest, the feeling tickling your cheek.

"Yeah and I think he was a big deal too."

"Can't be a bigger deal than a Gojo," the man snarkily remarked.

"Wellllll," you drag out, "apparently they are esteemed benefactors that are clients of one of the best law firms in the country," you mocked.

"and I don't need law firms to handle my work, I can deal with it on my own," Satoru hummed and Suguru snickered at his confidence.

"But still what happened that made you need to throw a chair," the long haired man chuckled, already imaging the sight and Satoru eagerly nodded, clearly ready for a juicy tidbit of drama.

"Oh well," you pause, "you know," and you trail off, prying yourself away from Suguru's arms, suddenly sitting as a new wave of dread swirled in your stomach, you should've diverted the conversation better, or thought of an excuse before hand, "um," you pause brain running blank.

"Hey..." and Suguru sits up, concerned, "did something happen," he continued, hand reaching for your back but he pauses when you tense, the pillow in your arms crumpling in your tight grasp.

"No nothing it's fine," you laugh, but the wet look in your eyes told him otherwise as your chest tightened with each breath.

"This doesn't have anything to do with Megumi asking what knocked up means...right?" Satoru furrows his brows, clearly concerned, words moving slowly from his mouth but the moment the question fell the tightening of your shoulders told him everything he needed to know. "Baby," he cautiously starts but you push yourself to your feet.

"Oh would you look at that, I completely forgot Yaga gave me a mission for tonight," avoid, avoid, avoid, your brain repeated, trying to slip out of your discomfort.

"(Y/N)," Suguru's voice was stern but you could only shake your head, cupping your ears with your palms as you tried to ignore his voice, you wouldn't let him stop you, you couldn't stop, you couldn't confront this, you couldn't tell them, not now, you weren't ready, the fear in your body wouldn't let you.

"I b-better get going," you choke out in response, your flooding waterline only the start to the progression of your deterioration, lip already beginning to quiver as your compressing lungs began to burn.

You were quick to try and walk away, quick to grab the door handle and start to pry it open, but he was quicker, Satoru's hand slammed the door shut, the small sliver of your escape locked in an instant.

You were trapped.

Oh no, oh no, you couldn't do this, not now, not with them, you couldn't let them see you like this and your hand was frantically trying to yank open the door but he was just far too strong, your shaking fingers not helping in your endeavour.

"(Y/N) don't try and run away from us again," he breathed, body leering over you as his hand slammed above you, keeping it tightly shut.

"Why won't you tell us what happened," Suguru cooed, the crease in his brow revealing his worry, "did they say something to you."

"No," you were too quick with your answer, they knew, they both knew, you were screwed, you were so so so screwed, "I- uh," and your eyes darted around the room, looking for an escape, the bathroom, could you get to the bathroom, if you did you could lock the door and maybe buy yourself some time.

"Don't even think about it," Satoru stopped your train of thought, and Suguru was quick to block the view of your only hope.

You were trapped, trapped, trapped and suddenly you felt the walls closing in on you, they were surrounding you, the ceiling was falling, the floor of dashing up quick.

"Woah there," and it wasn't the room but you, you were falling, back slumped against the door as you fell to the floor, big hands that only thing slowing your descent of keeping you from crashing down.

"(Y/N)," it was blurry sounding, that didn't make sense it couldn't sound blurry, but it did, it did why did it sound blurry, nothing made sense, what, where were you, why were you, and there was a pain in your chest, your chest it hurt, it hurt, it hurt, it hurt.

"Breathe baby please," and your hand was raised to his chest, they were crouched, one hand was rested at the back of you head, keeping it from lolling to the side as you could feel your palm raise and fall along with his own lungs, "can you just copy me please," and it was pleading, Satoru, Suguru you couldn't tell, couldn't tell whose limbs was whose, where your hand stopped and his body began, the murky colours fading in and out.

Why were you freaking out again, it doesn't make sense, why were you falling apart, it wasn't your fault, you did nothing wrong but why were you choking on air, why was their pain clawing at your organs, why did you feel nauseous.

"Ohhh," you breathed out, eyes widening as you tried to process, your brain spiraling, why were you feeling so gross, so ashamed, you didn't do anything and your chest flooded with oxygen before you let it out with a huff, breaths following your hand, following his chest.

"There you go, thank you, thank you so much," and he still sounded blurry.

"They said," you sobbed, the words sending a shudder through your body, "t-that I was, they said I wasn't appropriate."

"appropriate?" one voice whispered and you could feel your chest heave.

"S-Said I should s-spr" and the word felt foul coming out of your mouth, "spread my l-legs," you hiccupped, "that he, he would give me a well disciplined kid, and, and, and I," you stumbled over your words, brain rambling as your mouth followed, unsure if you were even stringing together real sentences.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and your hand gripped his shirt, pulling him closer, "I'm sorry that jerk said that to you," he continued and you wrapped your arms around him, head burrowing in the crook of his neck as another sob wracked your body, a somberful scream echoing onto his skin.

"I-I didn't like it, I didn't like it, I didn't," you cried, feeling hysterical, panicked, overwhelmed.

"I know, I'm sorry that happened to you, he's gross," and a hand was patting the back of your head. "But he's not here, you are safe, you'll be okay he can't touch you."

"I didn't like it."

Your cries continued, repetition spilling over and over again as you were held, brain mush as settings changed, feelings changed until you were wrapped in blankets tucked onto a mattress until silence broke into your cries.

Your eyes shut, you didn't quite know when, but it happened, must've happened because here you were opening them, cradled in tight grips holding you close. Your eyes hurt, they were sore when they fluttered open.

"Are you awake," soft, gentle and you knew this voice, it wasn't blurry it made sense.

"Yeah," you whispered and Suguru grinned.

"m'sorry," you murmured.

"What d'ya mean sorry, what'd you do wrong," Satoru was quick to grumble, chin resting on your shoulder as he scolded you.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing," Suguru answered for you, reassuring any thoughts in your brain, "that must've been tough, being told such disgusting things," he comforted, validating your feelings.

"It was weird," you confess, "to be told things like that."

"It's not just weird, that guy's a creepy asshole." Satoru insulted and you couldn't help but laugh at his anger fueled insults and you pat the hand he had around your waist, turning your head to catch sight of his furrowed glare.

"He's right," Suguru nodded, "but when things like that happen don't try and keep it from us, we're a team, let us help you."

"But I felt bad."

"For what."

"Well, it's just, he spoke as though Megumi was my kid but," you pause "I mean I get that we adopted him, adopted all of them but I'm just not used to the idea of being," and you sigh the weighted word feeling heavy on your tongue and the connotated meaning sent a discomfort through you, "a mom," you spoke.

"That's alright," Suguru assured, "it's hard to get used to our new life."

"Yeah but," you sigh, brows creasing and suddenly your eyes stung, "I just feel so awkward around them, I don't know what to do, I've never taken care of a child before let alone 4 of them and I haven't even got to learn because- because other parents they, they," and you started stumbling again, bringing your hands up to roughly wipe at your eyes, "they get to at least learn as their children grow, but they are all already in school and everywhere I look they say you are able to learn as they grow but I can't do that, I don't know what to do it's just," and you let out a frustrated groan, legs slightly kicking in anger. "I just don't think I can be the mom, the mom they need,"

"Sweetheart," Suguru trails off.

"They went through so much and I just can't be the person they need me to be, I can't be like all those mom's who are able to comfort their kids and know what they need, I can't be a mom," you confess, "I mean they are just so good at it, they are able to handle it so effortlessly. Even today that Sato boy's mom was able to comfort her kid, she was able to hug him and he turned to her for comfort, I can never be that for these children, I'll never be able to provide that support they need and I, I," you were running out of breath, your ramblings long as weeks of insecurity finally verbalized.

"You," Satoru stops you, "won't be able to be that type of mom, the type of parent who does everything so effortlessly," and his words seemed to bite but he continued, "because that type of parent doesn't exist, what you see online is manufactured, all those things you read are written in a specific way, no one talks about meltdowns or tantrums or their insecurities, but even if they don't mention it, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

"Parenting is different for everyone, and it'll be especially different for our family, after all we have a learning curve to get over," Suguru cracked a smile, "but you are the smartest person I know," and his hand grabbed yours and your palm was on his lips, "you'll be able to find a lifestyle that works for you, you'll be able to learn how to talk to them, I know you will, I mean just think about today with Megumi, you picked him up from school, you were able to spend time with him alone and that was fine wasn't it."

"I probably got him expelled."

"And I would've instead if you hadn't," Satoru snapped, "now that he's already expelled there is nothing to lose when I crush that old perv's head."

"Satoru," you whined, "you can't do that."

"Well you threw a chair."

"I only threw a part of it," you huffed before resting your head backwards onto his shoulder, "I don't think I'll be able to do this," you sigh, "these kids deserve a mom who is good at their job, a mom who wants to be doing all of this and is able to do it with ease."

"But you do want this (Y/N), you stayed even when you had a chance to leave."

"Yeah but maybe I was wrong, maybe I was making a mistake. I was scared of losing you, I didn't want to break up, I was being greedy, I was looking at these kids and I could only think I could put up with anything if I could be with you. I was romanticizing this whole situation, I was dumbing it down, I haven't even done much and yet the little bit of parenting I actually do is far more difficult than I imagined. I just always feel exhausted, and scared that I'm gonna mess up and make them hate me, I just feel like some big burden in our family, you guys are able to handle it all, and I just hover around and-"

"What do you mean burden," Satoru scoffed.

"The only reason we are able to take care of them is because we know we can rely on each other, and you. Today didn't overwhelm us because I knew I could go on the field trip with the twins and Satoru could take Tsumiki to her art class after school, because we knew you'd be able to take care of Megumi, we knew you'd be able to take care of the loose ends."

"(Y/N) we can only do this because you are here, the only reason I'm able to adjust is because I have you and Suguru as my 2 constants, you are a pillar that I can rely on and I want to be a pillar you can rely on too."

"I'm pretty sure it's a rock, not pillar." you correct but he only presses a ticklish kiss to the crook of your neck causing you to laugh.

"That's besides the point," and another kiss.

"Just remember," Suguru mused, leaning in to press his own kiss to your forehead, "take your time, you don't need to rush and try and become a person you aren't."

"Okay, okay," and suddenly you couldn't stop laughing, Satoru pecking your skin over and over again, his hair tickling your neck.

"We can get through this together alright, remember you aren't alone," he mumbled against your flesh and the vibrations only further the sensation as you giggled, pushing his head away from your skin.

"Thank you," you could only smile, and it felt as though all your worries were crushed, in between their arms you knew you weren't alone, you'd be okay, you didn't have to be a mom, you could take your time with your learning. You were fine, you'd be fine.

"My face hurts," his little voice echoed and you raised your head, catching sight his mop of dark hair peeking in through the door frame and you sat up.

"Still?" you questioned, already to your feet, as you walked over to him, the once crusted over scab ripped away, beads of blood blotting his lips as the black eye only purpled even more from the last time you saw him, the bruises swelling stronger. "Did neither of you give him an ice pack" you turn around, staring at the two men who stiffen, Satoru's guilty look all you needed before you were ushering Megumi into the kitchen. You shuffled over to the freezer as the boy climbed onto the dining room chair, watching as you shook the frosted condensation off one of the ice packs before wrapping it with a clean towel.

You crouched down next to him, staring up at his bruised face, placing a gentle hand to poke at the swollen skin, grimacing as he winced, it really did get worse and you reached up to place the ice onto his cheek, patting his hand when he flinched. "Sorry I know it hurts, just hold that here okay" you tell him and he nods before you go and reach for the cabinet above the fridge, pulling down the plastic bucket of medicine, yanking out a bottle of ointment you had used earlier in the day, quickly moving to reapply it to his lip.

As you screwed the cap back on he only looked down, hands fidgeting as he opened and closed his mouth, hesitant to speak.

"Is something wrong," you tilt your head, trying to duck down to catch his eye.

"I'm sorry," he suddenly blurts out.

"Huh, what do you mean?" you smile "what are you sorry for."

"At school, they said mean things to you."

"That's not your fault," you shake your head, "and I'm fine see," you grin but he only turns away, voice lowering as he whispered.

"But you were crying."

"Oh," you hadn't realized he had heard you.

"You were sad," he mumbled, "because they said mean things to you, b-but they wouldn't have said anything if I didn't punch him."

"Hey Megs," and the nickname fell out effortlessly, "none of that is your fault, they are just mean people, I'm all better now, okay, so you don't have to feel bad, you didn't do anything wrong," you tried to reassure and you watched as his lower lip wobbled.

"Today must've been scary for you too huh," you ask, finally catching onto his flooding emotions, he was like you, trying to hold himself together until he couldn't anymore, and you watched as the first tear drop fall. He was crying, you froze, what were you supposed to do, and you could feel the hand you cupped on his cheek slowly dampen as you wiped his tear away.

He looked like you, so small, so helpless and completely overwhelmed and you couldn't help but think back to how Suguru and Satoru helped you, how they comforted you, now it was time for you to do the same. "C'mere," you whisper, opening your arms wide and he practically falls into embrace, his head resting on your shoulder and you sigh, listening as his sobs grew louder. He was scared, his fingers tightened around your shirt, holding onto you for dear life and you patted his back, trying to soothe him as you pulled him onto your hip, standing as you rocked him back and forth

"You'll be okay Megumi, I promise no one is going to get mad at you, you're safe now," and he hiccupped and you found yourself instinctively pressing a kiss to his temple as you bounced him in your grip, cradling him and as you lifted your head, you caught sight of two figures in the hall, watching you, smiling and you realized you could do this, you were doing it, parenting, the bonds you were worried about making were formed.

You didn't rush it, you took it at your own pace and you realized time will help you, aid you in your effort, and you hugged the boy tighter, you could do it, were were doing it, you weren't trapped, you weren't suffocated you were here, mimicking the love you felt, no not mimicking reciprocating it, you were sharing your own love with him as you comforted him, expressing your emotions as you patted his back, rubbing soothing circles as he cried.

"It's okay Megs, you'll be okay" you coo, you could share your love, you could parent at your own pace, you were able to do it. You were fine.

"We'll be okay"

#satosugu x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #satoru x reader x suguru #satosugu x y/n #angst with a happy ending #satosugu x you #gojo x reader x geto #light angst #fluff #children #megumi fushiguro #fushiguro tsumiki

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