#dragged from his stage hospital bed

[invisibleicewands]

[scientia-rex]

One of my patients used to be a Big Deal Specialist in the city and you can just TELL he’s SEETHING that no one out here is even qualified to understand what he did, much less how important he was. He’s also terrified of death. It’s both annoying and really sad. Like, sir, I hate to break it to you, but no amount of knowledge will protect you from the ravages of time. It’s a special kind of hell to know the stages of various fatal diseases intimately. What is it going to feel like when it’s my turn? How do doctors want to die? Suddenly, quietly. Slip away painlessly in my sleep. But how likely is that? Not very. More likely I’ll get cardiovascular disease or cancer, the greatest killers of our time.

He was so afraid of cancer he had an organ that wasn’t cancerous removed just in case. He talks down to me as if I’m his student, and who knows? Maybe I was. He was in the same city as me, and they were forever dragging Big Name Doctors in to teach us things. Maybe I learned how to elicit Achilles tendon reflexes from him.

But mostly I find myself a little scornful. Who lives without the shadow of death? Who doesn’t think about death all the time? When you die, life is a round thing, finished and whole. What will your life look like when God holds it in the palm of his hand?

Also don’t fucking call me by my first name unless I’ve specifically said you can. I don’t GIVE that permission to patients, except for my mentally ill trans and queer patients. If I wanted to be disrespected by an older man I would have married young.

You do not have time. This important doctor who based his whole life around his importance lived as rich and full a life as anyone. And now he’s clinging to it, leaving fingernail marks on the walls on his way out. No one has time. There will be a moment when you’re dying when you think, I would give anything I have to be back in that moment. Any ordinary moment. Taking the dogs out to go potty. Browsing at the grocery store. When you’re being crucified on a hospital bed, dying and aware of it through the morphine, you would give anything you ever possessed to go back and have one more agony-free afternoon. Sit on a curb or a stoop. Walk through a park. Hug your spouse. These tiny fragmentary moments that we are constantly sliding through, tobogganing past at high speeds, these are what will be our life when our life is over.

I am accountable to that self. To the dying me. What did I do with this gift and curse? I don’t believe in God, but I know that I will die, and I have watched enough dying people by now to know the kinds of things I’ll think about. I want to make that me proud of what I’ve done and how I’ve spent my life. She will be a harder judge than God, and I want her to look at this one little life and think, yes. I did what I meant to.

[humanityinahandbag]

Steddie Halloween

Halloween after 'Spring Break' must be such a hard time for Steve. This is the guy that regularly hosted costume parties at his house during his King Steve era. And at some point probably hosted more laid back ones for the kids and Robin.

But since the Russian bunker he just... can't.

He has regular and more frequent night terrors of torture that had him and Robin shivering and holding onto one another like buoys. He's been dragged down into the depths of lakes by unseen monsters that left all kinds of scars. He gets migraines from moving too quickly or seeing strobing lights.

He carried Eddie's body out of the upside down, hands slippery in blood. He did CPR and felt Eddie's ribs crack under his hands. He looked at Eddie handcuffed to a hospital bed while doctors said we just don't know yet. Had to watch his Uncle, his father, sit by Eddie every day, rarely leaving his side, staring at his chest like he was grateful for each breath his boy took.

So. He's not really able to do Halloween anymore. And that's hard for him.

But whatever. He'll survive. He's fine to sit on the sidelines if it means the others will have a good time.

At this point, Steve was already coming to terms with his bisexuality. He'd already done a speed run through the Coming Out stages and walked out the other side with the eerie confidence only Steve Harrington could muster. This is a dude who has decided that he's going to flirt with Eddie until the other realizes and gets with the program. He knows Eddie likes him. He's a pro at dating and relationships and crushes. He just needs Eddie to figure out that the not so subtle hints mean something.

And then came Halloween.

He'd already told Eddie during a movie night about how much he missed the spooky season.

(And yes, he did discuss it while openly combing Eddie's hair back from his face and absolutely relishing in the way the other boy was turning all kinds of pink under the glow of the TV. Yes, Eddie was taking his time to catch up but no one said Steve couldn't have fun while he waited).

"Aw man. That sucks." Eddie barely managed to boot up his brain again to answer.

"It's fine," Steve would say, even though it wasn't.

And then, on October 31st, Steve wakes up to a maze in his backyard.

It's not a very good maze. It's mostly just tipped over pallets taken from behind Melvalds as the walls and tarps as the ceiling to block out some of the light. But it's so clearly meant to be some kind of a haunted hallway.

Steve is in boxers and a ratty Hawkins Swim Team t-shirt. He didn't take time to put on shoes, so he's walking across the cold concrete and the dewy grass in tube socks.

There's a sign posted on a piece of cardboard at the entrance.

ENTER IF YOU DARE

He stands there, shifting from foot to foot in his rapidly dampening socks, not quite sure what to do but intrigued nonetheless.

There's whispering and hushed voices from inside. And then Dustin is stomping out from around one of the pallet corners dressed in a suit that's clearly too small for him.

"Come on, dude. Can't you read? You're supposed to enter."

"It says enter if I dare."

"Yeah. So enter."

"What if I don't dare?"

Dustin rolls his eyes hard enough to make them stick, and honestly this kid and his tone.

"Can you just-" He groans. "Look. Eddie set this thing up and he and Robin dragged us all out of our beds at ass o'clock in the morning to put on these stupid haunted house costumes and wait around for you to wake up. So can you please just dare?"

Steve blinks. He looks at Dustin's suit. The tie is a little crooked and he's wearing bright yellow socks with his dress shoes. "I thought haunted house costumes were supposed to be... yunno... scary?"

"Yeah," said Dustin, gesturing to himself. "I'm the corporate grind."

And Steve can't do anything but laugh.

He goes through the little haunted maze. El was apparently having the time of her life and waves at him from a dead end, decked out a dress she made out of bits of stapled paper. "I am very frightening," she assured Steve. "I am overdue bills."

"That is very frightening," Steve agreed and ruffled her hair before going down another short hallway.

No one jumps out. There are no bright lights. Will had drawn decorations that they'd taped to the inside of the recycled plywood warning him of imposter syndrome and sleeping past your alarm and girls. Lucas at least put in a little more effort as a basketball player, though he had his knee wrapped in a bandage they must have picked up at the pharmacy and explained to Steve that the true horrors were being benched all season.

Max had refused to put on a costume and declared that she was scary all on her own.

Even Robin was there, waving at him. There was a cooler besides her. "This is the checkpoint," she said. "All the best haunted houses have checkpoints."

Apparently, the checkpoint included his migraine medication that he'd coincidentally forgotten to take that morning and a takeaway cup of lukewarm coffee.

"I tried to keep it warm!" She flapped her hands, waving them at the cardboard cup. "I literally held it between my knees and everything. But I had to help Eddie out last night to start building and-" she paused. "Shit. I wasn't supposed to tell you that. Forget I said that! Just- drink your coffee! Or don't! Is it warm enough? It's probably not. Fuck."

Steve is always shocked at how much more he loves Robin every day.

"It's good," Steve assured her, taking a sip. "Much scarier this way. Nothing scarier than a cold cup of coffee."

When he finally does make it to the end of the maze, Eddie is right there waiting. He's dressed as a vampire, with the stupid fake teeth and blood drawn down his chin with lipstick.

"You escaped the haunted maze!" Eddie put on a show of acting shocked, horrified, angry. His speech comes out garbled from behind the plastic teeth so it sounded more like you ethcaped the ha'ted mathe! It was endearing. Charming. Perfect. "My evil plan is foiled!"

Steve smiled. He looked back at the tarp and plywood and cardboard and duct tape. "You put this all together?" He turned back. "You built me a haunted house?"

Eddie's posturing paused. Despite how much he tried, there was little Eddie could do to hide the way he turned almost shy. He took out the teeth. "Uh. Yeah. But it's no big deal."

"It's kind of a big deal."

"It's really not," said Eddie. "Just- yunno. Figured you should be included." He brightened. "And this isn't everything! We've got a party planned at Joyce's tonight. Low music, we'll keep the lights on. Kids even picked out a movie, but I can't attest to the quality."

"You built me a haunted house."

"I... did." Eddie cleared his throat. He shoved the teeth back in. "But just so you know, it was all part of my evil plan. Which you foiled, My Liege!"

Steve stepped forward. "What was it?"

Eddie paused.

"The evil plan. What was it?"

"Oh. Uh." Eddie swallowed. "Keep you in my evil clutches forever?"

Steve beamed.

Robin had to usher a group of jeering kids away from the Harrington house. It was apparently too much for them to see Steve grab Eddie by the edges of his stupid vampire cape and tug him into a kiss.

"Dracula doesn't swoon," Dustin shouted back at them, covering his eyes.

"This one does," said Steve happily, before going back to work on a very shocked Eddie.

In the end, it did take Eddie a minute to catch up. Once his brain rebooted and he was able to comprehend that he was kissing Steve Harrington, the boy he'd loved since long, long ago.

He spends that night at the party sitting on the couch with his face buried against Steve's chest while the movie played. "You'd been flirting with me?"

"Mmmhm," said Steve, popping a candy corn into his mouth.

"This whole time?"

"Yup," said Steve.

"I wasn't imagining it?"

"Nope," said Steve.

"This is real?"

"Yup," said Steve, and dropped a kiss onto the top of Eddie's head.

"Okay," rasped Eddie. "Just checking."

"Learning how dumb you were being was the scariest thing this entire halloween," Dustin mumbled from the floor.

[steddiehyperfixation]

don't you forget about me (part six)

(part one)(part two)(part three)(part four)(part five)

Steve allows himself a brief mental breakdown in the shower when he gets home. He lets the water mix with his tears as he curls his arms around himself and wishes with everything he is that they were Eddie’s. There’s nothing he wouldn’t give right now just to be held by him again, just to feel Eddie’s arms around him one more time. All it took was a tiny kiss on the back of his hand for Steve’s skin to remember just how much it missed that feeling. Now Steve’s entire body craves Eddie’s touch, and he shakes in its absence like an addict in withdrawal. 

Then he puts himself back together, gets dressed and styles his hair and heads off to work. 

They’d defeated Vecna before he could split the world into pieces or whatever his diabolical plan had been. So while Steve’s whole world may have been torn apart, while Steve’s whole world lays bruised and bandaged and amnesic in a hospital bed, the rest of the world carries on none the wiser. The rest of the world still rents VHS tapes and has movie nights and date nights and no fucking clue that they were seconds away from being dragged down into a hell dimension a couple weeks ago, so Family Video is still open for them. Fuck that. 

“You’ve gotta handle the customers today because if someone starts asking me stupid questions I can’t promise I won’t snap at them,” Steve tells Robin as he drives them to their shift. 

“Aw, but it’s so funny when you snap at them,” Robin quips. 

“Robin.” He gives her his best I’m so fucking serious look. 

Her humor dries up immediately and she nods solemnly. “Alright, yeah. I got it.” 

Steve sighs, pulling into the parking lot. “Thank you.” 

He busies himself with cataloging and reshelving and rewinding returns while Robin takes over the customer service part of the job. It’s mindless - mind-numbing - the monotony of the tasks exactly what Steve needs to dull out the thoughts in his brain and distract himself from the way the back of his hand still tingles from Eddie’s kiss. 

When the afternoon rush dies down after a few hours and the store is all but empty, Robin sidles up next to him where he’s putting away a stack of fantasy films. “Hey.” 

Her voice cuts through his focus and nearly startles Steve out of his skin. “Jesus! Don’t sneak up on me like that.” 

“Sorry.” She grabs half the stack of tapes and starts helping him shelve. “Just wanted to check in with you, we haven’t gotten much of a chance to talk today. How are things going with Eddie?” 

“It’s fine. He’s fine,” Steve grumbles, glaring down at the tape in his hands. It’s got a dragon on the cover. He thinks Eddie would probably like it. “He still doesn’t remember me, but he’s starting to see me as a friend now at least, so.” Steve shoves the movie into its spot on the shelf. “That’s something, right?” 

Robin raises her eyebrows at the sharp bitterness in his tone and how forcefully he put the tape away. “Okay. Yeah. So I see we’re in the anger stage of grief now,” she comments. 

Steve scoffs. If this is a stage of grief, he thinks he’s been going through them in the wrong order, or maybe all at once - a neverending ebb and flow of denial and anger and depression all swirled together into one fucked up cocktail of grief. “I’m not angry,” he says, rubbing his hands over his face. “I’m just tired- emotionally burnt out, I don’t know. I just miss him and it’s not fair and I’m so fucking sick of feeling like this.” 

“Yeah, that’s anger, Steve,” Robin says, infuriatingly blunt. She slides the last tape in her stack into its place and then leans against the shelf. “Did something else happen to set this off, or are you just generally overwhelmed?” 

Steve sags against the shelf beside her. “Both. I don’t know. It’s stupid, it’s so fucking stupid. He just- he kissed my hand this morning, that’s it, and it wrecked me.” 

“He what?” Robin questions, curiosity widening her eyes. 

“He kissed my hand,” Steve repeats. He sighs and adds context, gives her a full recount of the events of that morning.

“Oh my god?!” Robin practically squawks as she backhands Steve’s arm, which is definitely not the comforting words or touch he needs from her right now. 

“Ow!” he yelps, rubbing his arm. “What the hell was that for?” 

“Dude. He was flirting with you,” she tells him, eyes even wider now like she’s trying to explain to him something obvious. 

“What? No.” Steve shakes his head, looking at her like she’s crazy. “He definitely wasn’t.” 

“Ughhh,” Robin lets out a long, dramatic groan, dragging her hands down her cheeks and pulling down her eyes. “I cannot do this with you two again. He totally was.” She drops her hands from her face so she can use them to illustrate her point as she starts to lists off, “First of all, he literally called you daddy-” 

“As a joke,” Steve interrupts to protest. 

“Yeah, a flirtatious one,” Robin retorts. She continues, “Then he said you have a magic touch, and then his heart literally started racing for no reason-”

“Because I was stressing him out!” 

“Only after his heart rate went up in the first place, which, as I was saying, was for no reason other than the fact that you were smiling at him and holding his hand-” 

“That literally doesn’t-” 

“And then, he kissed your hand - pressed his lips to your skin - and told you that you were his good luck charm,” Robin finishes, looking smug like she’s said something novel and not just completely reiterated exactly what Steve had just told her only with more emphasis. 

He sighs wearily. “Your point?” 

“He likes you, dingus,” she says, whacking his arm again. “Don’t you get it? His mind may not remember still, but his heart is starting to.”

Steve doesn’t know what to do with that. A lump rises in his throat, a rush of jumbled emotions chafing against his already frayed edges. “Don’t say that. You don’t know that.”

“I think you should tell him what you were to each other,” Robin suggests. 

“Right, yeah, okay, sure,” Steve scoffs, somewhere between sarcastic and hysterical. “And while we’re at it, I think you should tell Vickie that you like her. Because telling people things like that is so easy, isn’t it?” 

Robin gives him a withering stare. “That is not the same thing at all, and you know it.”

“No, yeah, you’re right,” he agrees. “Because I know Eddie, and he would not take that news well. He already gets a little weird whenever I seem to know too much about him - if I tell him I know him biblically too-” 

“Ew, don’t tell him like that!” 

“Doesn’t matter if I tell him like that; I say we’ve been together for 9 months, he’s going to assume we’ve-” 

“God, okay, I get it!”

“See? It would freak him out,” Steve concludes, crossing his arms. “Even if he does…like me again or whatever, he definitely wouldn’t anymore and it would just generally make him uncomfortable. So I can’t tell him. I just have to keep waiting for him to remember on his own, even though it’s fucking killing me,” he says, his voice harsh as he tries to keep it from breaking. “It’s what’s best for Eddie.” 

“Steve-” Robin starts, frowning like she’s only just beginning to realize she may have pushed him too far, but whatever it is she was going to say is cut off by the ringing of the bell that announces the front door being open. 

“Customers.” Steve points his chin towards the couple who just walked in, a bitter jealousy boiling in his stomach as he watches them walk hand in hand towards the romance aisle. It’s not fucking fair. He shoves himself away from the shelves and mutters, “I’m taking my break.”

He stalks to the breakroom, closes the door, and sinks to the floor with his back against it. The tears in his eyes feel like they’re made of acid, like they would carve tracks into his skin if they were to spill down his cheeks. He wraps his arms around himself again. The thoughts in his head are made of acid too, bitter and burning and cursing everyone who gets to enjoy their lover's touch while he suffers without his. 

Steve’s brain feels corroded, corrupted. “He likes you,” Robin’s words echo there too, “his mind may not remember still, but his heart is starting to.” Would Eddie touch him now if he asked? Would he trace his fingers across Steve’s skin, kiss more than just the back of his hand? Steve digs his own fingers into his sides. He feels gross, he feels rotten. It wouldn’t be right to ask that of Eddie without him knowing the truth, to take advantage of him like that. It wouldn’t be the same, anyways. The superficial touch of a boy with the beginnings of a crush is not the tender lover’s caress that Steve craves. 

That is if Robin is even right about Eddie redeveloping feelings. Which she probably isn’t.

Steve’s just being stupid and selfish again. He wants to remove his brain from his skull so he can stop thinking, tear his heart from his chest so he can stop feeling; both so burned and decayed he thinks if he held them in his hands they would dissolve and crumble to dust and ash and sludge between his fingers. 

Fifteen minutes pass, and Steve forces himself to be fine. He peels himself off the breakroom floor and returns to work, continues the tedious tasks that he hopes will numb him out again. 

Robin catches his eye from across the room where she’s sorting a customer’s cash at the register. I’m sorry, her expression says, I didn’t mean to make you upset. 

Steve gives a tiny shake of his head and a small smile. It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault, his own expression reassures her. You meant well. I’m not mad at you. 

They don’t talk about Eddie again that day. The next time there’s a lull in customers and they’re able to chat again, Steve tells Robin he honestly just needs a distraction right now, and he lets her ramble on about Vickie and band and school and her impending graduation and the movie she watched last night and whatever other random thoughts are bouncing around that hyperactive head of hers. Her voice fills in the cracks in Steve’s brain, keeps it from falling apart completely. She’s always been good at that, and he’s grateful for it. 

Then he drops Robin off after work and he drives away alone in silence because all the songs on the radio are love songs, and he drives back to the hospital - back to the source of his grief again and again like some sort of fucking masochist - because Eddie needs him. Because Steve loves him.

~

Eddie cannot help the way his face all but beams the second Steve walks back into his room that evening. “There you are, Stevie! How was work?”

Steve returns the smile, genuine, but there’s a tiredness to it. “It was alright. Bit boring, really, uneventful. How are you doing?” 

“I’m good,” Eddie says, adding with a jaunty grin, “All the better now that you’re back.” 

It comes out a bit more flirtatious than he intended, but thankfully Steve just laughs it off. “Alright, smoothtalker,” he scoffs through a chuckle as he takes his usual seat by the bed. “It’s nice to see you again too.”

“Oh, the actual doctor came in to talk to me today. Good news, don’t worry,” Eddie tells him, the last bit tacked on quickly before that concerned crease can appear between Steve’s brows. “She says I’m healing up nicely, and I might be able to be discharged soon. A few more days’ observation and then they're gonna see how well I can actually move since, you know, the bats chewed through half the muscles in one of my legs. But, yeah, I could be out of here by the end of next week.” 

“That’s great, Eddie!” Steve brightens. 

“Yeah.” Eddie smiles. “I can’t wait to be somewhere familiar, feel normal again. Or, well,” he amends, smile falling a little as he realizes, “as normal as I can feel given that I’ll probably be walking with a limp for the rest of my life and be covered in nasty scars all over.” 

A strange expression crosses Steve’s face then, something happy and sad and sympathetic all at once, and his voice is soft as he says, “We’ll match.” 

Eddie blinks at him. “What?”

“The scars,” Steve clarifies. “The bats got me too, you know. I was lucky, it wasn’t as bad for me as it was for you, but, uh- yeah, we’ll match. See?” He stands and pulls his shirt up a bit. 

Eddie’s heart rate immediately kicks up again, blood growing warm, as his eyes snap to Steve’s stomach, to skin and muscle and body hair and- oh. Two giant, jagged red scabs cover Steve’s sides, the edges fading into skin bumpy and pink and white with the beginnings of scarring. The bite on Eddie’s own side twinges in sympathy. “That’s-” He swallows back the word hot, and breathes out instead, “Holy shit.” Without really thinking, he finds himself reaching out to skim his fingers over the ridges of Steve’s scars. 

Steve gasps - full body shudders - at the touch, and Eddie instantly pulls his hand back, afraid he’s hurt him. “Sorry,” he mutters.

“No, it’s fine,” Steve manages, though it sounds a bit shaky. “You didn’t hurt me, I just- I wasn’t expecting it.” 

Eddie tentatively starts to reach back out; Steve nods. He slowly traces the outline of the wound again, every uneven edge, feeling the evidence of hurt and the evidence of healing and the ripple of each breath Steve takes - breaths that echo in the quiet that falls between them. Eddie doesn’t realize just how intimate this silence has become as he runs his hands across Steve’s skin, until he glances up to find Steve just…watching him. It’s impossible to tell exactly what emotion is behind his eyes, but it’s intense and it’s devastating, and Eddie suddenly feels like he can’t breathe. 

“Uh-” A nervous laugh stutters out of him. He rescinds his touch. “Twin scars, huh?” he remarks, cracking a crooked smile and attempting to change this strange, suffocating energy with a joke. “Hell of a matching tattoo. Next time let’s just exchange friendship bracelets like normal people do, yeah?”

Steve huffs, a short burst of laughter that escapes from his chest like it’s been punched out of him. “Since when have you ever done anything like a normal person?” he teases in return as he pulls his shirt back down.

Just like that, blown away by Steve’s playful smile, the weird tension lifts. Eddie grins back. “Alright, fair point.” He adds, “Those are gonna be some pretty metal scars, Stevie.”

“Not as metal as yours,” Steve says warmly, settling back in his chair and kicking one leg over the other. “You’re the one that literally survived death, Ed. It doesn’t get any more metal than that.” 

“Now who’s the smoothtalker?” Eddie smirks, and he hopes he isn’t blushing. Steve Harrington calling him metal with so much pride and affection in his voice is doing numbers on his heart. Curse this stupid fucking crush.

Steve eyes divert briefly to the heart monitor, which has not once calmed down since the second he’d lifted up his shirt, and Eddie is so sure that he knows then, that he’s finally made the connection between what’s got Eddie’s heart racing, but he doesn’t say anything, just laughs it off again, smiling like everything’s completely normal as he looks back at Eddie and rolls his eyes and mutters in return, “Shut up.” 

“Make me,” Eddie mumbles, not quick enough to bite back the words before they fall from his mouth, only managing to lower his voice enough that maybe Steve didn’t hear him. 

“What?” 

“TV?” Eddie grabs the remote, pretends like that’s what he’d said in the first place. Real smooth. 

“Oh, sure.” Steve shrugs. If he noticed Eddie’s slip, he gives no indication of it. 

Eddie turns on the TV and they spend the next hour or so laughing and making fun of the bad acting on the show that’s playing. Easy, normal, platonic. Eddie’s heart rate stabilizes, remaining even so long as he doesn’t look too long at Steve’s smile. 

When sleep starts lapping at Eddie’s consciousness, he doesn’t fear it anymore. Silently, he holds out his hand, and Steve takes it, wrapping him in the warmth and protection that allows Eddie to let himself drift off undaunted. 

And in his dreams his hands skate across Steve’s skin again.

(part seven)

taglist (CLOSED): @romanticdestruction @daydreamsandcrashingwaves @paintsplatteredandimperfect @hallucinatedjosten @mugloversonly @estrellami-1 @alongcomesaspider @thatonebadideapanda @tell-me-a-secret-a-nice-one @dragonmama76 @wxrmland @nuggies4life @sirsnacksalot @myguiltyartpleasure @lolawonsstuff @marklee-blackmore @vinteraltus @sebastiansstanswhore @0happyeverafter0 @scarlet-malfoy @hotluncheddie @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @emsgoodthinkin @alyelf @warlordess @stevesbipanic @lil-gremlin-things @rockandrolodex @badcaseofcasey @bat-outta-hel @fandomcartographer @manda-panda-monium @littlewildflowerkitten @giopandaonice @mightbeasleep @queenie-ofthe-void @krazyperson @worldofshea @marvel-ous-m @tartarusknight @a-little-unsteddie @xenon-demon @goodolefashionedloverboi @xxsky-shockxx @mc-i-r @bookbinderbitch @aspenshade88 @slowandsteddie @thedragonsaunt @daydreaming-mood @space-invading-pigeon @irregular-child @a-lovely-craziness (taglist continued in replies; please lmk if you'd like to be removed from this list. if you didn't make the taglist but still wanna follow along, you can follow the tag #dyfamsteddiefic to keep up with new updates!)

[avoxrising]

The Feral One • Chapter 1

Finnick Odair x Y/N

Series Masterlist Link

The first thing you remember after they lifted you from the arena was the hands of Capital doctors grabbing at you. Three weeks in the arena had left you extremely weak and you had a bad cut on your face but none of that mattered. They were touching you and you didn’t like that.

The second thing you remember after they lifted you from the arena was waking up chained to your hospital bed, surrounded by peacekeepers and President Snow.

“Miss Y/L/N,” the old man stated. “I wish you wouldn’t be so difficult with us.”

“Difficult?” you ask with what little voice you have left.

“It seems that you won’t let us treat your wounds, or let anyone get close to you for that matter,” he states. “The poor doctor was just trying to take your temperature when you stabbed him with a scalpel.”

“He was touching me,” you reply.

“Oh my dear we have a long road ahead of us if you are planning on remaining… difficult.”

You hadn’t meant to kill so many people. First it was 6 in the arena, then it was the doctor in the capital, then it was your first client, then it was another capital doctor and a peacekeeper trying to restrain you. By the time you came down from your lapse in sanity, you had been sentenced to house arrest in District 4’s victors village.

“Feral” is what they called you. To everyone outside of your home you were uncontrollable; crazy; even dangerous. To yourself, you were broken; confused; misunderstood. To him, you were everything.

“Y/N Y/L/N!” Linessa, the District 4 escort, calls out as she reaps the tributes for the 75th annual Hunger Games. Mags moves to volunteer but you quickly shoot her a look and she backs down. She knows you won’t hurt her, in fact, she’s one of the few people who genuinely cares for you, but she knows not to interfere when your mind is made up.

Annie shrinks into Mags’ side as you shuffle past her towards the escort. She’s another poor, misunderstood being like you. The two of you have never been friends for the simple reason that she is absolutely terrified of you and sometimes her meltdowns set you off. Maybe in a different reality you two would be friends, but not in this one.

Peacekeepers follow you to the front of the stage as you drag your shackled feet forward. This is the first time anyone besides the victors has seen you in around 5 years, and they’re getting a good look at what “feral” looks like.

The peacekeepers hold a gun to your back as you stand on the stage, head high. It’s so hot out you’re hoping you’ll sweat enough to slip your hands out of your cuffs. The district center looks the same as the last time you saw it all those years ago.

“Finnick Odair,” Linessa reads out and your head immediately snaps towards her. She lets out a small shriek and the peacekeepers tighten their hold on their guns as Finnick makes his way to the front to stand next to you. Of course, they don’t let him get anywhere near you, but you wouldn’t hurt him. You would burn the whole world to the ground if it meant protecting him.

The peacekeepers allow Mags to join you and Finnick on the train but they don’t let her anywhere near you. Finnick tries to tell them that you’re fine and won’t hurt anyone but they won’t listen.

You’re done trying to advocate for yourself. In fact, it’s useless. You haven’t spoken to anyone besides Finnick in five years. Not since your client…

Anyways, peacekeepers escort you to your room and set up guard in the hall. They’re too scared to be in the room with you, and none of the avoxes will go near you.

You wouldn’t have even been fed if it weren’t for Finnick barging into your room (despite the peacekeepers’ protests) with a plate of food. The peacekeepers made him keep the door open so they could monitor the situation but at least you could eat.

“How are you feeling?” Finnick asks as you pick at your food. You shrug your shoulders in response. He goes to lay his hand close to yours in comfort, causing one of the peace keepers to pipe up.

“Hey!” he yells, causing you to jump. “Back up Mr. Odair. We’ve been advised not to let anyone get within five feet of it.”

Finnick stands up and moves himself between you and the peacekeepers.

“First of all,” he states. “She is not an ‘it’. She’s a human being like the rest of us. Secondly, she is not a danger to me. She would never hurt me and even if she tried we both know I would win that fight. Scaring her like that is only going to set her off, and I won’t hold her back if she does. The best thing you can do, for everyone’s safety, is treat her like a human being, absolutely do not touch her, and no yelling. She’s not an animal, she’s traumatized.”

“Sir we’ve been ordered to shoot her at the first sign of agression. The capital doctors have advised us that she’s a danger to those around her,” the peacekeeper states.

“The capital doctors haven’t seen her in over five years!” Finnick exclaims. “They don’t know the first thing about her. Now get out and let us eat in peace. Don’t forget I’ve killed people too.”

The peacekeepers, visibly shaken, leave your room and allow the door to close. Finnick sits back down on your bed with you to resume your meal.

Taglist:

@randomgurl2326 @mystargirl-interlude @uther-pendragon-is-an-ass @yourdailymemedelivery @americanprometheuss @l3xi3luv @noisyalmonddreamer @nordicvxid @teaganthemorningstar @samatokisunfinishedcigarette @justtrying2getby @heytherellala @notplutos

[sweetiesicheng]

seungkwan - injury

word count : 702

-

the door slides open, "y/n!" seungkwan shouts and hurries towards you. "you okay?" he asks.

"huh? why are you here?" you ask him, knowing that his schedule is packed today.

"i'm supposed to be at a recording session, but i left when one of the managers texted the group chat," he explains and sets his bag down on a chair. "what happened?" he asks.

you sigh, "fell off the ladder when i was helping my sister," you shortly explain. "it's not that bad.”

"you're in a cast."

"okay, so it's a little bad."

seungkwan sits on the edge of the bed and holds your hand. he brushed some of your hair out of the way.

"how long are you out for?" he asks.

"long enough to miss rehearsals for the tour," you reply, staring at your injured leg.

seungkwan glances over at the cast and then back at you. he knows you're upset, but you're keeping yourself composed with him there.

"i can tell you're upset you know. you're not good at acting," seungkwan says and reaches over to pat your head.

"cause i can’t dance with you,” you reply, leaning towards him.

“hey, look at me,” he says to you. you look up at him. “even if you can’t dance, we’ll still find a way to make the best memories. besides, i’m dragging you on tour whether you like it or not,” he says and wraps an arm around you to hug you.

—

it's been a few days since you were discharged from the hospital. you have been spending a lot of time at home since you can't do much.

today, you decide to hang out at the company building to watch one of the rehearsals for the tour. you're friends with a lot of people who will be on tour too, so you won't be alone the entire time the guys are rehearsing.

"y/n, you're here?" dino asks as you enter the room with seungkwan.

"hi," you greet everyone present.

"sit over here," one of the dancers says, pushing a bag off of a chair. you go over to the chair and sit down.

"i got these," seungkwan says and takes your crutches. "don't dance," he says to you in almost a strict tones while pointing at you.

you pout but seungkwan kisses your forehead before putting his stuff down and starting to warmup with the others.

"has he been helping you?" one of your friends asks while stretching.

you nod, "yea, he's been helping a lot actually. i feel really bad. everyone is busy, and i probably ruined everything," you say before receiving a whack of the head, "ow!"

"you didn't ruin anything," one of your friends says. "everything will be fixed. maybe we can drag you on stage somehow," he says to you.

—

rehearsal continues going on and everyone runs through one of the bigger stages. all of the dancers are involved, so you sit by yourself.

you do the arm movements as the music plays, trying to keep yourself occupied so you aren't bored the whole time.

you watch everyone dance and start to get a bit sad about how you can't dance with everyone.

"y/n!"

you look around and see one of your friends pushing a chair with wheels on it towards you.

"come on, come on," he quickly speaks and gestures you to sit in the chair.

you get up and sit down on the chair. your friend starts pushing you across the room, and you have to hold onto the arms of the chair to brace yourself.

"too fast! too fast!" you shout as you make it across the room. the chair turns and someone else starts pushing you across the room again.

as the music continues, the dancers go back to dancing while you're in a random spot on the floor.

"y/n, what are you doing?" seungkwan asks, not even dancing to look at you.

"gotta be a part of the show somehow, right?" you reply. seungkwan smiles and laughs.

he leans in to give you a quick kiss before returning to dancing while you continue to be moved around and enjoying rehearsal despite not being able to dance.

[film-in-my-soul]

Sweet Enough to Eat | 3,160 | Fortheloveofexy / @fortheloveofexy

Summary: Neil is cute and Andrew has a crisis. That's it, thats the fic.

A different kind of attack | 3,351 | amidsthechaos

Summary: Neil teaches a secret self-defense class and Andrew shows up one day, never expecting to learn a thing and much less feel a thing.

Falling | 3,517 | Fortheloveofexy / @fortheloveofexy

Summary: He'd known all along that Andrew didn't care about him. It was part of the allure, what made Andrew a safe choice to experiment with. Andrew's apathy would protect him from getting hurt, and Neil's own feelings were little more than an afterthought. He wouldn't have to deal with the consequences of getting attached once he was dead, after all. Except, here he is. Not dead, and thoroughly, undeniably attached. He needs to tell Andrew. 

head case (what to do with you) | 4,007 | Major_816

Summary: It bolsters him now. Because Andrew’s in the hospital and this medical fuck with an incompetency problem won’t let Neil in to see him. Andrew gets hurt and Neil...handles it.

(see more recommendations below!)

One Hundred | 4,553 | TheRainbowElectric / @agreatperhaps12

Summary: The most shocking thing about the sight of Neil is how still he is. Andrew has seen Neil bloodied and bruised before. But even beaten to a pulp and beyond exhausted, Neil talks and twitches and kicks in his sleep, restless fucker. Now, Neil’s only signs of life are the shallow rise and fall of his chest and the steady beep of the heart monitor beside his bed. That’s all Andrew has to hold onto as he drags a chair from beside the window to the gap between Neil’s bed and the door and sits down.

lucid prayers | 4,914 | andreil

Summary: Neil makes it out of Baltimore alive. Unfortunately, so does his father.

backstage (the world is yours) | 5,011 | Major_816

Summary: The best part about the light room is that it’s dark. Andrew likes it that way. It’s also far the fuck away from the bullshit of the actual stage. It doesn’t hurt that the only person with a direct line to him—ignoring the times when Aaron actually shows up to run sound or when Jean’s done haunting the second stage where the seniors are rehearsing—is Neil.  It’s always Neil, isn’t it?

Blood Spilled (But None Wasted) | 19,531 | Detective4

Summary: Neil licked his lips and Andrew’s gaze tracked the movement with the efficiency of a predator. Neil glanced at the fangs again, then down to his bare forearm, then to the fuzzy carpet that laid under the coffee table. “Neil,” Andrew’s voice was firm, demanding complete attention. Neil met his eyes once again, encapsulated, “You can say no.” Neil shook his head lightly. Took a deep breath. “I want to,” And he was surprised that he wasn’t lying.

Follow You Through The Dark | 22,461 | sambutwithbooks

Summary: “Don’t say no-” “No.” “Andrew-” Aaron shakes the paper a little in frustration before composing himself. “It’s a quiz bowl. Basic trivia. It runs for five consecutive weekends and there’s a prize at the end. I need you and your sponge brain to help me win.” His brother has asked him for many things since Bee had pulled Andrew aside to tell him he had a doppelganger wandering around San Jose, California causing trouble but this might be the dumbest thing Aaron has ever asked him to do.

that one flower shop au by moody_lesbian

2 Part Series | Rated G | Total Words: 2,794

Part 1 Summary: “I brought you this.” Andrew continued to stare at him for another moment until his eyes slid from Neil’s and to the slightly crushed daisy in Neil’s hand. “What is it?” Nervously, Neil itched to take his hand back. “A promise.”

the foxhole - coffee shop au by jaylocked

2 Part Series | Rated T | Total Words: 7,003

Part 1 Summary: Neil collects the cup a moment later, almost absently, as he thinks back to the nightmare that had started his day. He takes a sip, planning to turn away, and is almost assaulted by the sheer quantity of sugar in his drink. Who knew coffee could taste that sweet? It’s disgusting. Neil looks back to Andrew, who is once more leveling a blank gaze at him, hazel eyes deeply unimpressed. Neil quirks an eyebrow, confused. It’s definitely not worth it to say anything. After all, it’s been engrained in him not to draw attention to himself, to order whatever is blandest and least interesting, to get in and out best he can. He can feel the weight of Andrew’s gaze on his back as he leaves the cafe, but he tries to ignore it.

Excerpts From The Rooftop by loveandwarandmagick

2 Part Series | Unrated + Rated G | Total Words: 9,012

Part 1 Summary: Andrew is an English major coming down from his drugs, spending his nights on the rooftop while everyone's asleep. What he suspected was a hallucination, a side-effect, follows him up there, and doesn't disappear even after he gets sober. This is troubling. It's even more troubling that Neil wants to listen to him. The worst part is probably that Andrew finds himself wanting - the truth, to give his own, to see if Neil wants more than that. Or, the non-mafia au where the only impending doom is the height of the roof, and the fact that talking to Neil makes him feel like he's standing at the edge of the drop.

no love without teeth by moonsock

2 Part Series | Rated M+E | Total Words: 9,508

Part 1 Summary: Neil’s legs kick a little faster. “What better way to avoid being outed as a vampire than to join a vampire slaying agency?” Andrew actually stops chewing at that. “You get stupider every day.”

New Tricks by likearecord

2 Part Series | Rated T & M | Total Words: 27,784

Part 1 Summary: Kevin, Neil, and Allison are grad students, roommates, and obviously best friends. One fortuitous day, Kevin meets a short, knife-wielding blond guy in the library and brings him home to meet the short, knife-wielding redhead he lives with. If only Neil knew what having a crush felt like before this happened.

High School Science by fuzzballsheltiepants / @fuzzballsheltiepants

4 Part Series | Rated T+E | Total Words: 29,926

Part 1 Summary: Andrew's unfairly hot chemistry lab partner needs a date for the prom to appease his uncle. Andrew agrees...for a fee.

Inside Your Mind by moonix / @annawrites

2 Part Series | Rated E | Total Words: 42,414

Part 1 Summary: Andrew and Neil switching phones by accident brings them closer together than either of them anticipated.

TFC High School AU by moonix / @annawrites

4 Part Series | Rated T + M | Total Words: 50,786

Part 1 Summary: After his mother's death Neil Josten just needs to keep his head down until graduation, then he's going to leave this town and identity behind like all the others and start over somewhere new. There's a small hitch in his plans though: his deal to protect Andrew from bullies in exchange for some quiet company.

Tales From Foxhole Aquarium by Fortheloveofexy / @fortheloveofexy

3* Part Series | Rated E | Total Words: 88,897

Part 1 Summary: Neil Josten stares at the large building in front of him, his mouth twisted into a small frown. Yesterday, Browning had handed him a manila folder containing his new name, his new life. Included in that file had been a note, the same slightly crumpled note he’s holding in his hand now, with the name of his new employer. Foxhole Aquarium. Ask for David Wymack.

*Part 3 incomplete

2024 Reclists · INBOX · Blog Updates

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

Hey! I really love all of your imagines and I really think your work is immaculate. Especially the Modern!Bill Kaulitz imagine and it made me wonder what it would be like to be Modern!Tom Kaulitz's daughter,if you don't mind could you write an imagine for that? If you do,you don't have to rush, I know you have many other works to publish so take your time! :) ❤️

(Hello! I'm very happy to do so and that you love my writings! This also was the perfect time for daddy issues to pop up in my playlist :')

Being Tom Kaulitz's Daughter

He is the very proud dad all the time

He teaches you electric guitar since before you could even walk

And let me tell you, he did a great fucking job

Doesn't force you though to play instruments and lets you be your own person

Is always happy to talk about his amazing daughter in interviews and videos

You were also taken on stage a lot as a kid

Bill was your best uncle, always had you on his hip and dressing you up and doing your makeup

Gustav is a more careful but caring uncle who let you go ham on drums and steal his shit while also pretending not to see you in hide and seek

Georg was the uncle to let you stay up, eat whatever you want, steal you without anyone knowing and teach you cuss words

You and Tom bickered so much even when you were a kid because you got his attitude

When you were little he always carried you around on his shoulders or was holding you

You're his little girl so much and he doesn't let that go

Doesn't want your career to be based around him if you go into the entertainment business and wants you to be your own person

Not just his kid

He's a supporting dad in whatever job you want to do or whoever you want to date

He's just happy that you're happy

He had almost a full on mental breakdown when you were getting older when you were a baby

He couldn't handle it

Struggled with being a dad to you at first and was nervous but he did an amazing job with you

He lets you dress him up, have tea parties with you, make him wear tutu's makeup and everything

He's sitting in a small ass chair, a tea cup in his hand as you give him a scone, decked in a boa, tiara and tutu at a small table as Bill is teasing his brother so hard

Until you drag Bill and your uncle's into it

He spoke too soon

He's the dad to always be there when you need him or just to be there when you don't want to talk

Is the dad front row when you have a recital, award ceremony, play and everything else

He doesn't want to miss anything going on in your life

The dad to push you higher than any other kid on the swings

Let's you sneak in his bed no matter how old you get or even if you don't live at home anymore

You'll always be the little girl he raised

You and him were partners in crime as you grew up against your mom

He gives you cookies when she said no because it would "spoil your dinner"

He snuck you one and told you not to tell mom

He gets you out of trouble so many times

Picks you up early from school all the time just because he can and wants to take you to a gig or concert they're doing

He'd be proud of you took after him on electric guitar

Is happy if you ever got into a band or music with your friends

You remind him of himself when he was younger sm except for the flirting

He made you swear off dating for so long because he couldn't handle it but actually loved your future partner as long as they treated you right

Whenever you're upset he's still the dad to mess with you, tickle you and make you laugh until you're ready to talk

He is the best dad to ever have

He spoiled you so damn rotten but made sure you appreciated everything

He raises the best kid ever and he didn't even know how he did it

When he first met you in the hospital room and held you he was shaking

He was just in awe that he made this perfect little girl and that he was your dad

Can you tell I'm curing my daddy issues with these requests?

[m00nymonster]

Promise Me

Prompt: anticipation

TRIGGER WARNING: character death, cancer

I paced outside the hallway of Mensah's bedroom, inside of which her children and partners were gathered. I couldn't handle the crowd, even with drones. The few I had brought with me flew around my head in a defensive pattern.

Out of all the ways for Mensah to die, I'd have never anticipated this. I had expected old age to take her. And frankly, I hadn't expected to see her die at all. The chances of me dying before her were statistically higher, with my job. But it would have been old age, for sure. A very long time from now.

No one expected pancreatic cancer.

By the time she'd complained of stomach pain, it was too late. Most cancers could be treated. It wasn't easy, but it was managable. If you caught it before stage four, anyway.

I kept pacing. I couldn't meet anyone's eyes. Ratthi and Gurathin were waiting outside with me, sitting on chairs dragged in from the living room for this purpose. Arada and Overse were murmuring to each other as they gripped hands, and Pin-Lee stared at the floor. I didn't care.

I wanted to fight something. I want to tear something's spine out. But you can't rip out cancer's lungs. You can just wait and watch as your favorite human leaves the hospital because the treatments didn't work, watch as she went home, watch as she climbed into her bed like it was a mountain and lay down to be comfortable. You can't rip cancer limb from limb as you watch your favorite human die by inches.

Farai and the rest slowly filtered out of the room.

"Not long now," she murmured. Ratthi ran a hand over his face. Gurathin stared holes into the carpet. Overse and Arada stopped whispering, and Pin-Lee finally looked up, tears in her eyes. They started to get up. Farai raised a hand.

"She wants SecUnit," she said. "You can go in after."

I stopped pacing. Farai waved at me, but I couldn't move.

"SecUnit? We don't have much time."

I stared at the door. It was rectangular, made of a smooth brown wood with a golden knob. No entryway had scared me more.

"Me?" I whispered. Farai nodded. I took a deep, shuddering breath and forced myself to open the door and step inside. The door shut behind me.

Mensah lay on the bed, surrounded by pillows, propped up to be as comfortable as possible. Her children had left little stuffed animals around her, and the tables were covered with flowers. She was pale, sickly, but her eyes still had the determined sheen I'd seen when she'd killed a SecUnit with a mining drill to protect me.

"SecUnit."

"Murderbot," I corrected. She smiled and nodded weakly.

"Murderbot. Sit down."

I sat in a chair next to her bed.

"Can I....?" She raised her hand. I hesitated, then gripped it tightly. She sighed.

"I remember the last time you held my hand."

I said nothing, just stared. She smiled at me and continued.

"I had no hope when they held me. Then you were there, and--and I knew there was a chance. You fought so hard to save me, and you almost died. Several times. You risked everything to protect me. And when you went on that survey with Amena...you did everything you could for her, too. When I learned about that, you have no idea how...upset I was. That you'd almost died." She coughed. I tightened my grip. "I want you to promise me something," she said.

"Anything."

"Take care of yourself."

I hadn't expected that.

"You throw yourself into danger, all the time. You don't care if you die. I do." She coughed again. "I want you to live a long, happy life. Understand?" She cocked her head, then gently lifted her free hand and brushed it against my face. It was wet.

"That's too hard," I whispered.

She nodded. "You're tough. You'll figure it out."

"I don't want to. I don't want you to die."

"We don't always get what we want, Murderbot." She sighed. "I wanted more time, too." She winced. "Promise me, Murderbot."

I was quiet for a whole four minutes and thirty seven seconds. "Okay," I said finally. "I promise."

She gave a relieved sigh. "Send in the others," she said. She smiled and released my hand. "And don't forget your promise. Live. For me."

I nodded, and quietly slipped away.

"She wants you," I said thickly at my humans outside, jerking my head as I closed the door. Ratthi jumped up. He stared at me, his expression soft.

"SecUnit..."

"I'll be downstairs," I said, and fled.

[babydollmarauders]

SLEEP — LUKE HUGHES

luke hughes x fem!reader

FAITHLYNN’S 500 CELLY!

🌷: “They’re so cute when they’re asleep.” with Luke.

“nap time?” my boyfriend asks as he walks into his room. i was already here, laying in his bed and awaiting his return from morning practice for our daily nap.

the routine had started as an accident, us having fallen asleep one day before his game when we were spending some time together. but now it’s become a good luck tradition; i wait for him in his room during morning practice and then he comes home and we nap together until he has to wake up to get ready and leave for his game, in which case i ride with him to the arena to watch him play.

“finally! i was about to fall asleep without you.” i tell him. Luke just smiles, stripping off his hoodie and throwing it to me, leaving him in a t-shirt and sweatpants. i slip the hoodie over my head, burrowing inside it’s warmth, as he crawls in bed beside me. allowing him to pull my body close to his, i snuggle my face into the crook of his neck and let out a content sigh. i close my eyes, letting myself drift to sleep, happy in his arms.

*

i’m stirred awake by the sound of whispers, the culprits not doing the best job at keeping quiet.

“they’re so cute when they’re asleep.” someone says.

“yeah, cause they’re not telling me ‘Ethan, no!’ and ‘Ethan, get down from there!’ and ‘Ethan, stop doing that. you’re gonna fall and get hurt.’. they’re such buzzkills.” now i know that voice was Ethan Edwards.

“to be fair, they’re usually in the right when they say those things.” another voice pipes up.

“shut up.” i groan, swatting at someone hand that’s currently tickling my nose.

“ow.” Ethan dramatizes and then stage whispers a “bitch.”

“Ethan, if you wanna keep playing hockey, i suggest you take that back.” Luke mumbles, burrowing his face farther into me.

“sorry, mom.” Ethan drags out, and i already know he’s rolling his eyes without even opening my own. i finally crack my eyes open to find Mark, Ethan, Dylan, and Mackie standing in front of the bed.

“what do you guys want?” i whine, scrunching up my nose.

“we have to leave in like 15 minutes.” Mackie says, making Luke pop up.

“what? no, i set my alarm to go off forty-five minutes before we have to leave.” he picks his phone up, checking the time and cursing before sliding out of the bed. i watch my boyfriend run around the room, telling the boys to get out as he gets changed into his arrival outfit.

my own phone buzzes with an incoming text, and i pick up the screen to find a message from Dylan with a picture of Luke and i sleeping.

“aww babe, look at us.” i turn the phone around for him to see but he’s still rushing around the room.

“no time, babe. let’s go.” he tells me. i sigh, rising from the bed to just slip on my shoes and follow him out the door.

i guess it’s time to watch my boyfriend win another game.

**

@y/noninsta just posted

y/noninsta game day naps are my favorite times with you 💙💛

Load more comments

lhughes_06 love you baby

y/noninsta i love you too sweet boy

edwards.73 yeah they’re my fav too cause i don’t have you guys yelling at me

y/noninsta who else is gonna tell you not to try doing a back flip off the kitchen counter right next to the flaming stovetop?

edwards.73 i still think i could’ve landed it

lhughes_06 and i still think y/n and i would’ve been the ones stuck driving you to the hospital with a broken nose and 2nd degree burns but hey what do i know?

edwards.73 you guys have no faith in me

jackhughes gross this is not the content i signed up for

y/noninsta i could block you. would that help? ☺️

elblue6 you guys are too cute!

y/noninsta at least someone appreciates us! thank you mama El!

-

-

[quillsandblades]

🔫 this is a robbery, hand over your post war Levihan headcanons (please 😊)

The world needs to know

Post war levihan gives me life ok, they're both alive and happy and together and no one spoils that for me. It's canon. Isayama who?

Congratulations, the robbery was a success and here's the loot

So after the Rumbling and the Battle of Heaven and the Earth, these two retire. First they recover in the hospital, Hange’s burn injuries and Levi’s leg and they take a break to just breathe and relax. 

Once they’re on their feet (and wheelchair) Hange drags Levi to travel as many places as they can go.

Queen Historia funds their visits (Hange somehow convinced her to allocate a budget for them cuz she wanted to see everything. And as they were heroes of the war and her parents former superiors, she agreed) and they travel a lot.  

But it’s not just going places and having fun, They plan on helping out in the rebuilding of the areas affected by the Rumbling too. They go around aiding in reconstruction and Hange helps the mechanics and engineers and learns things from them too. 

Levi distributes clothes, food, and lollipops to kids who love him. Hange later teases him for looking too long at the lollipop, “You remembered that clown right?”

“No, I was thinking about how you chased after cars in Marley with carrots in your hand.” And she gets all embarrassed, crying out how she was just so excited that she couldn’t stop.  

And he says fondly, “There’s no need to get defensive four-eyes, I was happy to see you so excited after months back then.” And she blushes because wtf?! When was Levi so romantic? But then again, he was. When she was about to sacrifice herself and he’d given her his heart. 

They don’t talk about this, nor her proposal in the forest. They don’t need to, not yet. They’ve both reached a stage of familiarity and comfort with each other throughout the years which doesn’t need any words. They both just know and they’re fine with it (levihan telepathy at its peak) 

They stay with the brats whenever they stop by in Paradis—or at the palace and help out with Historia’s orphanage. Eventually they decide to buy a house since they won’t be traveling forever. It’s a nice little cabin in the woods, just like Hange had dreamt of. 

It turns into a kind of summer house, or a place to stay in whenever they stop at Paradis and rest. They have it renovated, repainted and furnished and it becomes their own cozy little place. 

Levihan eventually settle down in their cabin for good once traveling constantly becomes too hectic. They’re used to sharing a bed by now, they did it all the time in their travels, and it comes with the much needed comfort of having someone familiar close by after waking up from nightmares. 

But that night feels different, they’ve finally settled down and this cabin is no longer a temporary lodging for their stays in Paradis, it’s on its way to become their house, their home. A safe place to relax and live in. Just like what Hange yearned for in the forest when she proposed they live here together

So Levi turns to her and sees her awake as well, staring at him. They both know that now words are needed to solidify this thing between them. But neither of them know how to proceed

Hange goes first, cuz Levi may be the strongest, he’s still not the bravest when it comes to certain things. So Hange talks, shapes out their feelings into words and sentences and each sits warmly upon them both like an extra blanket in the chilly night. And when she’s done, Levi just pulls her close and there’s too many words, feelings stuck in his throat, his mind but all he can say is “Yes. Me too.” And he just kisses her, and they hold each other all through the night. 

They look after each other’s injuries, he takes care of her burns, she helps him with exercises for his leg. Both of them are a bit conscious about their injuries. There are times when Hange looks at her scarred, burnt body and she feels broken, weak and just falls into despair. She asks Levi how he can stand looking at her, how can he put up with her, does he want to? She’s not enough. 

But he takes her face in his hands and tells her she’s more than enough. And he places her hand on his own knee, the injured one and looks into her eye. It’s one of those levihan telepathy moments where he tells her with his eyes we’re both broken, you’re there for me and I’m here for you, so we’re each other’s crutches. 

Once again, they’re like two halves of a whole. Even after the war, with their flawed bodies and capabilities, they fit in together perfectly. She’s there as his support when he needs to walk and he’s there as the soothing balm to her burning scars. They don’t need anyone else. 

Things have changed, and now it’s Hange who helps Levi take a bath. She’s careful with him and Levi would tell her to wash his hair again and again, he likes how her fingers feel in his head. But the roles haven’t completely switched, he’d still drag her for a bath as well since she always neglects it. 

Levi is the cuddler.

While they both naturally wake up at the crack of dawn due to years of army training drilled into them, there are days they hold back and relax. But on those days Hange's usually the one who wants to jump out of bed first, there's just so much to do, how can she waste her day in bed? But it's levi who pulls her back and buries his face in her shoulder and cages her in his warm sleepy embrace and says, "Stay still four-eyes, those seedlings aren't going anywhere." And he just. Cuddles.

Hange goes wild in the garden, she plants all that she can get her hands on and Levi goes around ordering her to arrange it all neatly. And his help is needed, otherwise their garden would’ve been a terrible mess. He makes sure there are neat sectors to all the things, vegetables at one side and fruits at the other. 

“I’m telling you shorty, tomatoes are fruits! We’re not planting them on the veg side.” 

Levi’s got a side of the garden all for himself where he grows tea and he cherishes his little tea garden. Whenever Hange comes across any exotic or new species of tea, she makes sure to get plenty of seeds for Levi to plant. 

She goes about experimenting with plants and seeds, she does grafting and makes hybrid seeds and plants them to observe the results. They have plenty of land around the cabin and she’s got all the time in the world now. She also tries to make hybrid species of flowers. 

She works together with Levi and does the same things with tea. They end up opening a tea shop and Levi tells her it was once his dream as a kid. It gets a lot of customers, and it keeps Levi and Hange busy. Hange continues to experiment with tea and they get the most unique blends that way. Eventually they add a few other things to the menu but their tea remains the most famous one in Paradis.   

The 104th often visit their home or the shop. Armin’s often at their place, asking Hange for commander advice and they talk politics for long hours. 

Mikasa prefers the tea shop more, it’s a cozy, comfortable place, not too quiet, and not too loud. It suits her mood and the aroma of tea calms her down. Levi would often find her asleep in one of the cushy armchairs and just throw a blanket over her if it’s cold. She doesn’t like to go back home since it’s mostly empty and quiet (and she misses Eren, we don’t blame her) so Levihan often invite her over to their place. By now they’ve practically made the second guest room as Mikasa’s bedroom. She often spends the nights there and when she can’t sleep she comes out and sits on the porch. 

Levihan also have sleepless nights, so when their daughter she’s staying over they all gather outside or in the living room and have hot tea and talk to forget their worries. It’s a good way to keep unwanted memories away for all of them. The morning finds them all asleep on the carpet, Levi and Hange leaning into each other, Mikasa with often her head on Hange’s lap. 

Jean and Connie visit a lot as well, and whenever the 104th all come together, Hange makes sure they all stay the night no matter how much Levi grumbles about them being too noisy. She brushes off his complaints, he was always an old man hiding away from fun and excitement. 

They have drinking games on the porch and Hange and Levi get a lot of dares to kiss each other. They kids were always betting on them to get together, and now that they officially are, they wanna see all the proof they can get. Plus it’s good to see their tough captain all red faced and embarrassed. 

Whenever their Marley friends visit, Levi and Hange go meet them. Gabi and Falco get along surprisingly well with Levi, they steal him away from Hange for the day and zoom around the city with his wheelchair. He pretends to complain. Pretends. 

Pieck, Onyankopon and Hange get along the best together. They always fill her in about the situation of the world, the aftermath of the war. It starts out with just people collecting the pieces after the rumbling and focusing on rebuilding everything. But over the years as the states get stronger Hange and Levi get news about more conflicts, more schemes, no war in sight but the usual political disagreements and disunity. It saddens her how quickly humans revert back to their divided state, fighting once more over land or money or people. 

Pieck tells them they don’t have anything to worry about. They’ve retired, all they gotta do is enjoy the rest of their lives.  

Hange wants to write about their dead comrades, document everything about their lives within the walls and outside them, their training and the survey corps. She wants their memories to remain and Levi agrees on that. So they begin, it turns into a book with a few volumes. Hange writes down all she and Levi can remember and fills the pages with their friends’ laughter, tears and blood. The war and Paradis’ side of the story behind the genocide. 

It gets published and it’s a hit. People around the world would eventually read it (but by that time Levi and Hange would probably be dead) and it’s one of the crucial things that changes the views of the masses about the ‘Island Devils”

They talk about having children, Hange asks Levi if he wants any. The idea is nice, having a little brat of their own. But it turns out they’re too tired to manage a baby and the crying and wailing that comes with it and the attention it would demand. Besides they already do have children, the brats from the 104th. 

Perhaps if they were younger and had lived different lives, they would’ve been more serious about it. But not here. Now they’ve survived through hell and want to be selfish with the rest of their lives. And they are. 

💚💜

[sunshine-overload]

[BSTS] Heath 5th Anni Eve 4* Card Story

chapter 1 -starless back rooms-

saki: (This piece of paper flew over from somewhere… Oh, it was from the voice training room.)

saki: Uwah, I can’t catch it.

heath: What are you doing? 

saki: Oh, Heath-san. That piece of paper flew out of the voice training room.

heath: Oh sorry, that’s mine. I got dragged away by Kongou, so the room has been vacant for a bit. He finally let me go once he saw me eat my lunch… It was a massive serving too.

saki: Fufu, do you have practice now?

heath: I was planning to shut myself away in the voice training room for a while. If you’re interested would you like to join me?

-voice training room-

heath: I should pick all this paper up, my bad.

saki: I’ll help you. Ah, this is…

heath: The the lyrics to ‘Dokuhebi’, the show B performed for the store’s second anniversary. I usually lock myself in here to write new songs, however today I’ve been thinking about that show.

saki: Your second anniversary show you mean?

heath: I’d rather not remember the period of time after the second anniversary up until the new year but it’s not like I could ever forget it either. I caused my team a lot of hardship. But the worst part was being stuck sitting in that hospital bed whilst my words were stolen from me. It was hell.

saki: Heath-san…

heath: My songs are my very soul. By shouting them out into the world, I can prove that I’m alive. That I exist. So that’s why ever since I got discharged from the hospital, I’ve been thinking about my songs… As well as B’s shows.

saki: It’s true that you’ve made every single song for B’s shows.

heath: …Say, what do you think of the current state of B’s performances? Let me know how you honestly feel about them, what is Team B in your eyes?

-choice

They’re really powerful and amazing / They’re really moving / They’re very Team B, I like it

(all options have the same response)

>They’re really powerful and amazing 

saki: B’s shows are always really engaging, they’re so powerful and impressive.

heath: I see. If that’s how you see us, then I suppose that’s how Team B are. Thanks, Saki.

-

chapter 2 -backstage-

heath: The show will be starting soon, did you come to wish me well? I’ll make sure to meet your expectations. I’ll get both the stage and the audience fired up. I’ll put on a show thats power will impress you, kind of like a power play. Don’t go forgetting that, ok?

saki: Heath-san… You’re really motivated today, aren’t you?

heath: I guess so, you could call it that. It’s because seeing your face energises me. To be honest, I had just been thinking, what direction am I trying to take my performances in? But then when I saw your face, the answer came to me.

I can’t always envision tomorrow and yesterday won’t ever come back. All I have is the present. That’s what just clicked for me…

I had two reasons for coming to this store. The first was to give life to my lyrics. And the second was to have those lyrics be heard by those that I want to hear them. Those reasons haven’t changed and won’t ever change… They can’t be changed.

saki: …Heath-san?

heath: I’d like for you to keep watching the way I live my life. Just as you have been up and until now… Please continue doing so.

saki: Of course. I’ll always be here to watch your shows.

heath: Yeah. I’ll do my best. You should get to your seat already, I’m gonna go all out straight out the gate, so make sure you keep up.

saki: I’m looking forward to it. I’ll head to my seat then!

-saki leaves-

heath: ….Saki. I’m different from back then. I won’t let anyone touch my life ever again.*

-stage-

-cg

heath: “Do you think singing hymns will keep you safe? Pride is a machine gun loaded with betrayal. No forgiveness, no groove. In this world you can’t have faith in anything. No forgiveness, no groove. No one’s gonna be fooled by a world like this.”

—end

*The word for ‘life’ that heath uses here is 命 (inochi) which is the word he commonly uses when he calls his songs his life

*Dokuhebi is based on The Brothers Karamazov, Smerdyakov specifically, the ending is lyrics from the song

[sanest-bsd-delegate]

Concert tickets

Headcanon: Where its you, them and the music taste. Ft Dazai, Chuuya, Tachihara and Lucy Masterlist Please look at the request rules in masterlist before requesting. Here is a lil headcanon for you (exams are shit, they decrease the writing creative power) bear with it AND THE GIF AM SORRY I CANT LMAO 😭

Dazai:

This man is 10/10 screaming the lyrics in the office.

Now he is a fan of Mitsiki too, but 'I wanna be yours' hits different.

Assuming your favorite band, he makes sure you least have a vintage case tape thingy even if it means Kunikida's bank account goes dead.

You both are broke babes,😭 cant even go to the concert.

But if you get to go into a concert, *cough* Kunikida's card *cough*, he makes sure you stay close to him

He 1000/10 gets lost in the concert, so pretty much you have to make sure his body aren't damaged. Twig like mf fr

WHY DO I IMAGINE HE MIGHT AS WELL AS CLIMB THE STAGE AND SING OUT-😭

If there are any fan meets, he makes sure you are with him cause there was this one time you beat him up just cause he didn't take you to a meetup. 💪💀 #saddazaicauseheisbroken

Dazai slays in the artist's t-shirts.

He secretly writes those artist x reader fanfiction on tumblr or smthg idk

I think he had a arctic monkey obsession phase.

It was a traumatic phase

I can feel like once you both only talked in I wanna be your lyrics, and oh boy the ADA was traumatized.

Once you refused to give him cuddles and bro really screams 505 lyrics.

He got a restraining order from the band when he sung at their concert.😭

The whole neighborhood got deaf by his singing.🤡

IMAGINE FIGHTING WITH PM AND THEN MF GOES LIKE "I go crazy 'cause here isn't where I wanna be" AND THE PM GOES WHO POSSESSED THIS MF NOW. (I need sleep)

Aww you love your boyfriend even when he is having broken bones and currently in hospital bed for going to a concert alone and getting crushed by sweaty people😭 <333

Chuuya:

"MILLANIUM KIDS THAT WANNA DIE" Bro might as well be a Dazai kinnie in music taste.

He had a Conan gray phase and still isn't over it.

Its a good thing you are his S/O.....YOU GET A FREE TICKET TO CONCERT WITH HIM.💪💀

can we appreciate this man? HE BUYS MERCHS FOR YOU <3333 WITHOUT STEALING OTHER'S MONEY UNLIKE SOME. 🤡

(well technically he steals their life so naturally the pay is for the life so he steals soul and money but he is a babygirl...he is forgiven.)

He has to use his gravity powers thingy. YOU BOTH ARE TO MUCH DEPRESSED IN THE CROWD.

"Woah, this place is just like my mind, messed up" "STFU Y/N 😭I AM TRYING TO BUY SOME MF TICKETS"

Awww he probably have you sit over his shoulder so that he can lowkey fly and you both can see the concert.

He cries if the song describes his life.🤠

Cause like one time you caught him listening to Mitski and he was crying. YKW YOU HUGGED HIM AND KISSED HIM CAUSE NO ONE LIKES A CRYING CHUUYA (maybe in bed thats different)

PLEASE I CAN IMAGINE THAT WE FORCE THIS MF

INTO

SINGING

LEVITATING

WHILE FLYING 😭

"I wish he levitates away forever, his singing makes my ear bleed" *Dazai proceeds to levitate to ADA hospital bed*

Chuuya supremacy

Tachihara:

Who knew this man got a music taste?

The same music taste as yours.

213420/10 the best music taste duo.

YOU CAUGHT THIS MAN RED HANDED LISTENING TO CPR. 🤡

His personality will be screaming Daddy Issues 😭

You still are suspicious how he got the concert tickets that too for TWO PEOPLE 💀

He will be those people who either will scream lyrics in someone's phone while they are recording or will those privileged people who get recognized by the band.

Why can I imagine him saying that the concert sucks?

YADADA YOU STILL DRAG HIM ANYWAYS.😭

*insert him doing funky dance on new rules by Dua Lipa*

Lowkey feels he listens to Spanish songs.

Imagine being along in room with this mf and he starts to sings Die for you??? While he spins you around dancing and laughing????

#blessed.

STFU. He had a Alan walker phase. No ifs and buts.🤡

Awww he brought your favorite artist's merch......WHERE IS THE HIDDEN MONEY BOY.

(Ill vibe with him on song 'this december')

EXTRA BUT HIM SINGING TELEPATH?? MY HEART CANT-😭

He brought a spotify premium for both of you <33 TAKE THAT ADS. 😭

Lucy:

She gives me girl in red vibes.

Pretty sure she is embarrassed to admit her music taste.

SHE IS THE REASON YOU LISTEN TO AMERICAN MUSIC ATM IDC.

You both will be sneaking in the concert using her ability.

LIKE FOR FREE??🎉🤠

You suggested that you should just have the door half ass open cause the crowd is just to much crowdy.🤡

She dragged you to follow her.

HELP SHE GOT CALLED ON THE STAGE TO SING WITH THE ARTIST. 10/10 she sings well.

Her music taste really is various but we love it.

She lowkey thinks you don't know she had a Justin Bieber phase, but you aren't confessing, it will hurt her ego.😭

You both watch those 2 hr concert video uploaded on Youtube (bless those uploaders)

"Y/N we can very well visit the concert venue you know?"

WAIT TILL THE COPS REALISE THAT💪💀

Awww look at you, just you both making Spotify playlist for each other.

"F-R-I-E-N-D-S" "Y/N please, you are acting worse then when you are drunk😭" "🤡 Haven't I made it obvious"

You brought her a little marshmallow keychain.

So like Atsushi accidently entered you both jamming to your favorites of all time and ummmm it left a traumatic picture in his mind that day. (Dw its just both of you jamming to much hard and the room is trashed out <3🤠

Fun fact: I was really confused on who to pick and wrote Tachihara thinking the poll cant change in 30 mins. (P.s it did and Lucy won)🤠 Fun Fact pt 2 : Requests are getting proceeded, stop spamming asking when they are finished 🤠 dw, am up for y'all love and appreciations and Ideas

[theloveoffootball10]

sᴛɪᴄᴋᴡɪᴛᴜ - ᴛ ᴡ ᴇ ɴ ᴛ ʏ ғ ɪ ᴠ ᴇ

m a s t e r l i s t

ᴛ ᴡ ᴇ ɴ ᴛ ʏ ғ ɪ ᴠ ᴇ

"So how hungover are you?" Lando asks as I stir in bed.

"Very. I don't remember getting back last night" the whole night after a certain point is a blank. All I want to do is sleep the day away and feel sorry for myself.

"I'm not surprised. When you got me to pick you up, you were just sat on the kerb talking shit to be honest"

"You know it's serious when the thinking kerb happens" I say with a laugh seeing Lando's confused look "it started when we were teenagers. It happens when you're so drunk you think you're having the deepest conversation with anyone who will listen and they usually happen in the most random of places, for me and my friends it always ended ip being a kerb outside of a club or wherever we were"

"So when you start having conversations with me like that I need to remember to be serious?"

"Pretty much" I say snuggling myself under Lando's arm resting my head on his chest "I didn't make an idiot of myself with your parents did I?"

"Not at all. You, Flo and Sav were hilarious when we got back here my mum and dad were thoroughly entertained. Thank you for making an effort with my family, it means a lot"

"Lando I'm always going to make an effort with your family. You've given my friends and family a chance, I'm not going to write off your family. They've all been amazing with me from the moment I met your parents at the race" I genuinely like Lando's family. They've all taken me in as one of their own and it's nice to be treated like one of the family. I've never felt as comfortable with a boyfriends family as I do with Lando's. I've never got on with a ex's siblings the way I do with Lando's either, I can see myself becoming really good friends with the girls.

I fall back to sleep in Lando's arms needing to sleep off this hangover, we have a three hour drive back to my house at some point today the last thing I want is to still feel like a corpse when I'm stuck in a car. Eventually waking up I notice Lando is no longer in bed with me, I don't blame him. I drag myself to his bathroom to make myself more presentable. When I say presentable I mean having a shower, brushing my teeth and pulling one of Lando's hoodies on with a pair of leggings. My hair is scraped up into a birds nest on the top of my head, it can't even be considered a messy bun the sheer state of it.

"I'm pleased you two look as hungover as I feel" I say walking into the living room where Flo and Savannah are both lying on either side of the sofa with a blanket and a can of full fat coke in front of them.

"it's hell Lucía. Being this hungover with two kids is not for the weak. I've had to get Oliver to take the girls to a park so I can recover" I had noticed the house is quiet, I'm assuming Lando has also gone with his brother.

"Morning Lucía, I'm making a roast beef dinner if you'd like some" Cisca tells me as she joins us in the living room "you all look like you need it"

"That would be amazing if you don't mind" the thought of a Sunday roast makes my stomach growl, I'm at the hungover stage where all I want is to eat "do you want some help?" I ask not wanting to take advantage of the hospitality I've been shown.

"Don't be silly. Lando should be back from the gym soon" Cisca tells me as she walks back into the kitchen answering my unspoken question as to where my boyfriend is. Laying on the other sofa I decide to follow Flo and Savannah's lead and will this hangover away.

"Hi baby" I feel Lando lifting my legs so he can sit next to me, he's freshly showered and I'm the human version of the heart eyes emoji looking at him "you look better than you did the morning"

"I don't think I feel it. I'll miss you when you go to Baku" I say quiet enough so only Lando can hear me. I know once Lando leaves on Wednesday it's going to be near enough two weeks until I see him again as he's leaving Baku and going straight to Singapore for media work in the run up to the race.

"I'm going to miss you as well baby. I would love for you to come to every race with me. I know we've had this conversation and I understand you have work but if it was up to me I wouldn't leave you" one of the things I really like about Lando is that he doesn't try to get me to give up working, he understands I have my own career and respects that I won't just drop it for him.

"I hate that that we have to leave each other as well but we can make this work Lando" reaching out I take Lando's hand in mine playing with his fingers "I'm going to watch every second of both races. I'm watching the Baku race with Liv, I haven't seen her for ages and I need to know how her and Max are doing" I've been a terrible friend lately, all of my time has been dedicated to Lando and I've barely seen my friends.

"He's completely smitten with her. He talks about her a lot and I know she's spent a lot of time in London with him and he's going back to Manchester with her when she goes" I know Max and Lando talk all of the time but it's always amusing for me when I hear men gossiping the way women do.

"That sounds like someone else we know" Flo joins in obviously listening to what we're saying about Max and Liv "in fact you're not even just smitten, you're completely in love"

"No one asked you, brat" Lando says throwing a cushion at Flo and I can't help but think he's embarrassed his younger sister is calling him out.

A few hours later we're back in my car on our way back to Cheshire. We had the most beautiful roast off Cisca followed by a nap before we decided it was time to leave. We've probably been in the car around an hour or so but I can't take my eyes off Lando. The way he's holding the steering wheel, his muscles flexing and the veins in his arms popping. I've tried crossing my legs and holding back but I can't.

"Lando?"

"Yeah baby?" He has no idea what's about to come out of my mouth especially when he's driving.

"I need you to finger me" the look on Lando’s face is priceless. The car practically comes to a stop in the middle of the motorway, he did not expect this.

“What the fuck you can’t just come out with that when I’m driving” I can tell Lando is trying to concentrate on the road but I’d happily pull over onto the hard shoulder to get what I want.

“I’m not just saying it for the sake of it. I need your fingers in me Lando. I thought I could wait until we got back but I can’t”

“Are you actually serious?”

“As serious as a heart attack” taking Lando’s left hand I bring it to the waistband of my leggings “don’t make me do it myself”

“Fuck you’re well and truly hungover and horny” feeling Lando’s fingers push their way into my waistband I gasp feeling his fingers on my clit “fucking hell you’re soaking!”

“All for you Lando” Lando runs his fingers up and down my soaked slit pushing two fingers in. I don’t even need him to get me ready, I feel like I could orgasm just looking at him today. Spreading my legs as far as I can I give Lando as much space as my car allows.

“Is this what you wanted? My fingers curling inside of you. My thumb on your clit?” Lando’s words only spur me on, throwing my head back in my seat I let out a guttural moan. This feeling is exactly what I wanted.

“Keep going…right there” as Lando’s thumb gives my clit more attention I feel myself getting close “fuck…feels so good”

“Come on baby, cum for me. Let me taste you” I have no idea how Lando is concentrating on driving right now. I couldn’t even tell you if the car is still moving I’m so overcome with pleasure.

I feel the all too familiar feeling building up in my lower body. Pushing my head back into the headrest I let out a loud moan and I dig my fingers into Lando’s arm needing something to hold on to. As I come down from my high I look over at Lando watching him suck my juices from his fingers. It’s probably one of the most attractive things I’ve seen him do.

“That was fucking incredible. I can’t wait until we’re home so you can fuck me properly” I can’t help but notice the bulge in Lando’s joggers, it’s a dead giveaway that he enjoyed this just as much as I did. I can only pray the rest of this journey is over soon.

emselucia

Liked by landonorris, daniellemitch and 19576 others

esmelucia swipe to see the after effects of a bottomless brunch with flonorris1 and savnorris 😅

View all comments

flonorris1 we had the best day with you!

↪️ esmelucia miss you already 🩷

savnorris Mila has not stopped asking for her auntie Lulu since you left!

↪️ esmelucia I'll FaceTime soon 🩷

↪️ landonorris not only did you steal my girlfriend I've also been replaced as Mila's favourite person 😭

↪️ esmelucia cry me a river Norris 🤷🏼‍♀️

user478 it must be serious when she's meeting the family! So cute!

↪️ user954 she's still a desperate whore Lando deserves better

↪️ esmelucia I might be a desperate whore but he's sticking his dick in me not u so who's the real winner here 🤷🏼‍♀️

The next few days I spend every breathing second with Lando. It’s been so nice to have him with me all of them time and wake up to him on a morning. It was painful to say goodbye to him knowing I won’t see him until after the race in Singapore. Granted after that we have around a month together but 2 weeks is going to drag. I’m like an obsessive girlfriend who wants to be with him 24/7.

It’s been two days now since he left and Liv has came over so we can spend some time together. I’m like a love sick puppy and nothing other than Lando is putting a smile on my face lately. I really think I love that man.

"Max is going to Singapore next week, he's got stuff to do with Quadrant but he's mainly going for the race"

"Are you not going?" I ask thinking Liv would be going with Max not wanting to be apart from him, I know I’d be with Lando if I could be.

"No I have work but I also think Max and Lando need to spend some time together. They've both been so busy lately I'm sick of Max telling me he misses Lando"

"They're like a married couple. I find it highly entertaining when they're on a stream together" the times when I hear Lando on a stream with Max, I leave him to it however I do always find myself sitting in another room laughing at them bickering "I think I might go to Monaco when Lando comes back from Singapore. I haven't told him yet but I'm going to see if work will be okay with me not going into the office but essentially working from home even if it's from a different country"

"Do you think they'll agree to it?"

"I have no idea. I guess it's a case of me logging on from Monaco or potentially taking leave and not working at all" I say with a shrug. I don't see why work would have an issue especially if I'm still working.

"There's no harm asking I suppose" Liv says with a shrug "do you think you'd move to Monaco for Lando?"

"I wouldn't write the idea off as a point blank no and I do think if that's what it came to I would consider it I just don’t think it’s an option yet" I think it's a long way off but if I had to move to Monaco with Lando to make our relationship work I'd take it into consideration. This man makes me want to fight for every fibre of him. The more I think about him the more I really do think I love that man.

[radiowallet]

Glasses

Main Masterlist II Tied Masterlist

Summary: Dr. Djarin is slightly in denial about his eyesight. Pairing: Din Djarin x f!reader (First Assist) WC: 1.6K Warnings: Mature 18+ MDNI This is an over 18 blog and all content is considered mature. Established relationship, unprotected P in V sex, light choking, vaginal fingering, oral (female receiving), medical/surgical discussions, descriptions of surgical complications, fluff, talk of family.

I do not use a tag list. You can follow @radiowallet-writes and turn on notifications to get fic updates.

“You’re staring.”

He’s not wrong.

You are staring. 

You are staring and Din is squinting. His brown eyes are fixed on one single point on the computer screen, moving in and out of focus, the wrinkles at the edges beautifully (and needlessly) pronounced. You watch as his brow furrows in, the dip between his eyes set deep as he tries to make out the words in front of him, every inch of him steadfast and stubborn. 

“First.”

His tone is biting, but the warning is dulled, a smile teasing at the corner of his lips, the surgical mask pulled down below his chin moving with the small twitch. 

“I never took you for a vain man, Dr. Djarin.” 

His chair swivels, metal wheels giving a whining groan in protest of the sudden movement. Sharp eyes meet yours and you don’t bother hiding your grin, dragging the toe of your dirty sneaker up and down his calf, a silent cue from you to him – with love.

“You need glasses.” 

For a second he doesn’t say anything, his scowl pursing deeper into his bottom lip, his mustache following not far behind. And then, just before he turns back to the computer screen, “I don’t.” 

“You asked for loupes today.”

“Not an uncommon occurrence.” His voice is even, but his back is steel, his fists are flexed. 

“You only ask for loupes in vascular cases. Today was just a valve replacement.” 

Din doesn’t respond, instead leaning his face closer to the computer screen; a move that only helps to further prove your point. You lean back in your own chair and breathe in deep, the smell of burnt coffee and cold pizza invading your senses. You had meant what you said; you didn’t take Din for a vain man. Confident, of course. A bit of an ego, sure. The best surgeons had both, practically parting gifts on the way out of residency. 

But vain? 

He had shouldered every grey hair he found beneath the bright synthetic lights of the hospital with cool indifference. He had barely paid lip service to his changing body, hard edges earned from daily runs and vending machine sandwiches switched out for a soft belly gifted over two years of a warm bed and home cooked meals. He had even given in to your plea for a new mattress with zero fight, going as far to agree that yes, his back did feel better, the admission grunted in your ear as he fucked deep inside you, the plastic half-torn away, the delivery men barely out the front door.

Through all of it he smiled, that same cocky tilt to his features he’s been giving you since the day you met. And you loved him all the more for it. Loved that he was embracing this next stage of life, with all of its many gifts and numerous changes, with grace and a touch of humor. 

But this? Glasses? That’s his tipping point?

“You pointed at the menu last night. Didn’t even try to read it.”

He clicks the mouse once. 

“I read it.”

Twice. 

“They brought you salmon. You hate salmon”

Three times and the chart finally closes. 

“A man can change.” 

His hand gently touches to your knee, a warm grip that draws your eyes up to his own. His features are set, his mouth drawn thin, and when he speaks, his clipped tone speaks volumes. 

“Next cut time is in ten.”

“I think you would look sexy with glasses.”

“I’m just a piece of meat to you, aren’t I?”

“If the scrubs fit.”

You try again two days later with a different tactic. 

“How about contacts?”

Din only hums, his lips preoccupied, sucking a bruise into the curve of your hip, his thick fingers digging at the flesh of your thighs. His destination is clear, but he’s taking his time tonight, no piece of skin left untouched, lips and teeth and tongue mapping a twisting pattern across your body. You’re pleasantly warm, arousal simmering sweetly beneath the surface of the evening and you’re hoping it’s enough for him to finally agree. 

“Din?”

He switches to your other hip bone, barely pulling away from the heat of your skin, to give you a gruff reply. 

“Contacts would dry out in the O.R.”

You bite your lip, a moan threatening to break the seal of your lips, the tip of one of Din’s fingers dragging through the folds of your pussy. Your silence only spurs him on, and he sucks harder, a bite of pain flaring beneath his kiss. 

“H-how about… shit– lasik?”

He pulls always from you then, the suction of his mouth breaking off with a slick pop, his incredulous gaze piercing you from below. The tip of his finger is still inside you, his finger curling forward to meet his answer, your own gasp of pleasure not far behind. 

“You want me to let some hack put a laser near my eyes?”

He doesn’t wait for an answer, instead slipping a second finger inside you to join the first, pumping them in out of you in time with his words.

“Do you know that 0.3% of patients come away with some form of infection after any type of eye surgery? Or that dry eyes are the number one side effect?” 

His voice is steady, belying the way he’s stretching you open, slick arousal dripping out around his fingers and soaking the sheets below. Your legs are trembling where his shoulders push them wide, and he only seems to delight in the break in your composure.

“What about the increase in glares? Halos?”  

He dips his head and licks gently at your clit, his chest rumbling in delight as you twist beneath him, hips canting up to meet the thrust of his fingers. 

“How about that 1% chance of a dislocation of the corneal flap?”

“Oh my god! Din!” You groan, your pussy clenching around his fingers even as you arch off the bed and shoot him an exasperated look. “Just shut u–”

Your words are cut off, head falling back to the mattress, his mouth fusing to your clit, bursts of white blinding your vision as he sucks the bundle of nerves between his teeth. He groans into you, the vibrations sending liquid heat up your spine, his fingers pushing deep inside, his tongue curling through the folds of your pussy to collect every drop of you he can. Your fingers find the curls at the crown of his head and you tug, desperate to keep his mouth occupied with anything but the statistical risk of lasik eye surgery.

And still, you can’t help yourself.

“Can you…can you even s—ee what you’re doing?”

Your laughter can barely catch up to your joke before Din is on you, the fingers just buried inside your cunt wrapped around your throat, his lips still shiny with the taste of you, hovering just out of reach of your own. His cock sits heavy between your legs, and he thrusts up, dragging the hard length against your core, precum smearing into your skin as he steals your breath in the process. 

“I don’t need to see to take you apart. Trust me.”

“It’s not about vanity.”  

You don’t look up from the computer screen, but you stop typing, ignoring Din’s long list of chart deficiencies in lieu of waiting patiently for him to keep talking. Fortunately, he doesn’t keep you waiting long.

“I don’t want to stop cutting. Not yet. I’m…It’s…a part of me.”

This time you do look up, trying and failing to keep your face neutral as you set your eyes as him, embarrassed frustration barely stewing beneath the grimace on his lips. 

“Dr. Djarin?”

“Yeah?”

“I know.” And then, “You won’t.”

The last thing you expect is for Din to bring the topic up on his own. 

You’re stretched out on opposite ends of the couch one cold November night, Grogu sitting on the floor between you, breaking in a new set of crayons as he covers sheet after sheet of construction paper in green scribbles. It’s a far cry from nights spent in on-call rooms waiting for an inevitable page that would pull Din and you apart, a warm mug of tea replacing cold coffee, Din’s clever hands rubbing soft circles into the ball of your foot instead of wrapped around surgical tools. 

The mood is near-perfect, so much so that you have no intention of pointing out the way Din is squinting at the picture his son just handed him, struggling to name the creature Grogu is so proud to share.

“It’s great, buddy. I love…”

“Frog, Dada,” Grogu offers with a stomp of his foot before snatching the paper away and bringing it over to you, chubby fingers pulling at your sweatshirt in frustration. 

“It’s such a good frog, baby! Definitely going up on the fridge,” you coo sweetly down at your son, pushing his hair back and out of his eyes. 

Without prompting Grogu goes back to his coloring, his attention stolen back by the rainbow of colors scattered across the living room floor and you can’t help but watch a little longer. Across from you, Din shifts, and when you sneak a glance his way he’s frowning, the brown of his eyes focused on some invisible threat hovering just out of sight. You call his name softly, drawing his attention back to you, raising your eyebrow in a silent invitation to explain.

When he does finally speak, his throat bobbing with the weight of his words, the answer almost too simple for your liking.

“I don’t want to miss any of this.”

You don’t ask what he means by this. You don’t have to. 

And you were right.

Din does look sexy with glasses.

A/N: I know it's been almost a year since I've posted anything for Dr. Djarin and First, and I have no good reason other than I hit an emotional wall with this story that had many contributing factors. I hope this little drabble means I'll be able to finish this story properly.

Bonus Medical Jargon

Loupes: Loupes are a simple optical devices used for viewing details of objects with some magnification.

Valve Replacement: An aortic valve replacement involves removing a faulty or damaged valve and replacing it with a new valve made from synthetic materials or animal tissue

Vascular Surgery: Vascular surgery is a surgical subspecialty in which diseases of the vascular system, or arteries, veins and lymphatic circulation.

Lasik: Commonly referred to as laser eye surgery or laser vision correction.

Dislocation of the corneal flap: A flap dislocation would cause notable pain, discomfort, excessive watering in the eye, and/or blurred vision

[eddiemunsonsmum]

Aftermath | Chapter 4 | Eddie Munson

Eddie Munson x Female OC | E.M x Karmen Jones

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 Chapter 15.

Chapter Summary: Eddie and Karmen finally reunite after nearly two weeks apart during the events of Season 4.

Story Summary: This story takes place after the canonical events of Season 4. Eddie wakes up in the Upside Down after 'dying' in Dustin's arms. He wakes up again in the hospital and is reunited with his loved ones that he hasn't seen since before Chrissy's death. This story covers Eddie's time in the hospital and overall physical recovery after the Upside Down.

This fic is part of the She Feels Like Home series. It sits between Boxing Day and Drop Out but can be read as a standalone. 

Tags: Reunion, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of Comfort, Medical Talk, Injuries, Vomiting, ASD !Eddie, Autistic Eddie, Non-verbal Eddie, Wayne Munson is a gem, Canonical Murder, Canonical Gore/Murder Descriptions, 4 Spoilers

Words: 6112

A/N: This chapter is 3x as long as the others and will probably be the longest chapter in the story. I kept trying to find places to break it up into smaller parts but it just wasn't doing the story justice. Also please do me a favour and ignore the placement of all these wires and tubes I mention. It was literally not important to the story to keep mentioning them getting tangled.

~

Eddie’s bed was propped up on an angle that probably wasn’t all too comfortable for sleeping. He was connected to a few different machines by tubes and wires. He appeared to be only wearing a hospital gown that was put on backwards so it could open at the front. Exposing his pale torso that was littered with purple and brown bruises in all the areas that were not covered by large plasters or wrapped in bandages. 

He had large dark circles under his eyes and his cheeks looked gaunt and hollow. There were a few smaller bruises spattered across his face and some larger running down his neck towards the plaster on the left side that also covered a large part of his cheek.

His lips were dry and split in several places and seemed to be in different stages of healing. It looked almost as if they had been picked at. As thought it hadn’t happened naturally from dehydration or being hit in the face during the crash…

His hair was oily and matted. Huge masses of knotted hair replaced his wild curls. Even his bangs had suffered, all mangled together and swept out at different angles. He was one step away from natural dreads.

Although he seemed clean, Karmen got the sense that he had been filthy when he arrived and was hastily washed down with betadine by the nurses before the surgery to repair his wounds. He would need to be cleaned properly once he could move around a little. He probably felt disgusting in his own skin.

She studied him for a long while. Categorizing his injuries and trying to commit them to memory so that when he was awake she could try and prevent him from hurting himself further.

She really didn’t want to wake him. Even though he didn’t really look peaceful. His brows were furrowing and evening out repeatedly while his eyes flittered under the lids with their rapid movements. The beeping from his heart rate monitor speeding up and slowing down again as his heart reacted to whatever was happening in his dreams. 

Nightmares, more like.

He was trembling, she realized as she reached out a hand, letting the pads of her fingers touch lightly on his forehead. She saw him flinch at the contact, almost pulling away but decided to stay since she’d already gone this far. She trailed her fingertips down the uninjured side of his face. Petting tenderly the way she knew he liked. 

Her fingers dragged uncomfortably along his clammy skin even with her featherlight touch.

Eddie grunted as she moved over the corner of his mouth before gliding back up. His eyebrows knitting as his eyes began to flutter open. She paused her movements, waiting for him to come around properly. His iris’ darting to the hand on his face. His body tensing as wide eyes made contact with hers and she smiled kindly.

“Hey.” She greeted him simply. Not sure what else to say. She watched as he startled at the word. Scared eyes flicking over her, looking sceptical. 

Slowly he began to move his hand. Lifting it up to press gently at the back of hers. Touching it lightly and flinching away before slowly coming back and engulfing it with his large palm. He pulled it away from his face to study. She let him do what he needed to. Swallowing down heartbreak as she realized that he didn’t believe she was real. 

She remained still, just observing quietly as he turned her arm in his hands and pressed his fingers against the pulse point on her warm wrist. The perfume she’d dabbed there before leaving the house wafted towards his nose as he frowned to himself, keeping his eyes downcast. 

Karmen watched as they widened momentarily, her jaw clenching as his grip on her arm tightened. The steady beep of his heart monitor sped up as he turned to look up at her properly. His large eyes burning with unshed tears as he took a deep stuttered breath that rose his back off the bed.

She was here. She was really fucking here and she was smiling at him and letting him touch her instead of pushing him away in disgust and demanding answers.

He let go of her arm abruptly. Holding out his shaking hands and silently begging her to take them. She did, placing her palms in his and trying her best to not show her surprise when he yanked her forwards in what she was sure was supposed to be a smooth and gentle gesture.

She brought his hands to her face. Leaning into him so she didn’t have to drag them high and risk hurting him or pulling at his IVs. She kissed each of them tenderly, giving them a small squeeze.

“I’m going to sit up here, okay?” She asked as his eyes spilled over and tears ran down his cheeks. Karmen placed his hands back in his lap momentarily before putting her own hand down on the mattress and using it for leverage as she jumped up onto it.

Before she could get situated properly on the edge of the bed he was clawing at her. Hands scraping down the front and sides of her body as he tried in vain to pull her closer. Only serving to strain himself and accidentally push her back off the bed as she tried her best to calm him.

“Hey, hey, hey!” She whispered as she caught his wrists, holding them still for a second as she looked him in the eyes and willed him to relax. “It’s okay.” She told him softly, placing his hands on her hips so that he would stop moving them and holding them there for a long moment before letting go. Hovering over them, waiting to see if he would move them and ready to catch them if he did. 

He didn’t, instead digging his fingers impossibly tight into her hips. Staring at her with red rimmed eyes and wet cheeks. Breath hitching as he waited as patiently as he could manage.

It’d been over a week now easily, maybe two. He hadn’t been away from her for that long since they’d met and while under normal circumstances he would survive that easily, albeit dramatically, if he had to, this past week had been anything but normal. 

He couldn’t lie and say that she had been the first thing on his mind after Chrissy died or that he had been thinking about her constantly in the long week that followed finding out that other dimensions and monsters existed. But when he was alone in Rick’s boat shed, before Dustin showed up, he had longed to go to her instead. Knowing deep down he couldn’t, that he needed to hide because a girl was dead and Eddie ‘the Freak’ Munson was definitely going to be to blame. But it had been so hard to stay there alone after experiencing the most traumatic moment of his life and then not knowing what was going to happen to him after it all.

He had been a little distracted the rest of the time he had spent with the party. The fleeting thoughts that if he just pushed through and killed Vecna they could clear his name and he could come back to her, got him through. He hadn’t let himself take any more time than that to think about it. To figure out what the fuck he was actually going to say to her or how he was going to explain it once everything was said and done.

Despite how hard he tried not to think about it since waking up in the hospital, she had occupied his every waking thought. Suddenly the reality of being back in the real world with Vecna dead, he assumed and still no fucking clue how he was going to explain it all was at the forefront of his mind. The fact that Wayne wouldn’t answer him properly about where Karmen was or why she hadn’t visited while he was awake was disconcerting. Not that he could really ask and be persistent about it in the way he wanted, without speaking. But he knew Wayne understood him and was deflecting his answers, pretending not to really get it so that he didn’t have to tell Eddie the ugly truth.

He thought she wasn’t coming. The only thing that had stopped him from breaking down about it this far was that Wayne had said she was there earlier. Whatever the hell that meant.

Karmen smiled at him softly, bringing her hands to his face. Careful to avoid the bandage over his left cheek as she cupped it in her palms. 

Eddie closed his eyes, his breathing speeding up as a choked sob fell from his lips. His entire body was trembling and it was hard to tell if it was due to her proximity or the exertion of forcing himself to sit up slightly. His heart was beating like crazy. The monitor began to alarm as his bpm reached a certain threshold. 

Letting go of his face she pulled herself up onto the bed properly. He shimmied over unconsciously to make room as she moved in beside him. Small, painful grunts leaving him as he used weakened muscles. His brows furrowing as his head began to spin.

Fuck… It hurts… It all… hurts.

“Come here Sweetheart.” Karmen whispered as she slid an arm around his shoulders. Lying back against the propped up mattress she put gentle pressure against his bicep. Eddie responded immediately by diving into her. His clawing hands back on the job as they desperately tried to move him closer. As if they weren’t already as close as they could get, squished up against one another on the tiny bed made for one.

His unwounded cheek pressed against her collarbone. The top of her breasts cradling his chin as he curled himself into her. Groaning in pain as he ignored his body's protests. Everything was burning, his head was dizzy from the agony. He felt like he was going to throw up. 

But that just spurred him on. He needed her so badly. Needed her comfort. Needed to be on her, in her, part of her, he didn’t know. He didn’t realize how desperate he had been for her until she was within reach. Now that she was here, he needed her as close as she could physically get. Anything less was painful in a way that rivaled the intense ache of his physical wounds.

Need you. Need you. Need you.

He chanted to himself, his entire body shaking violently against her as she wrapped her arms around him and held him as tight as she could. Trying her best to avoid putting pressure on his bandages. 

She held back on the instinct to rock him like she wanted to. Not wanting to irritate his injuries and hurt him any further or possibly make him sick. So instead she settled for a firm hold and whispered words of comfort.

“It’s okay Bubba.” She whispered against his temple. Planting gentle kisses on the skin she could reach as she reminded him that he was alright. “You’re safe now.” She told him, feeling him shudder at the words. His face rubbing wetly at her chest as he sobbed into her neck. “I’ve got you, you’re safe.”

It took a lot of calming but eventually he quieted down. She felt him relax a little more against her. His breath evening out, deepening. She could feel his eyelashes fluttering gently against her and knew he was moments from sleep but fighting it hard.

She wanted to talk to him so badly. Feeling guilt well in her chest as she selfishly lamented the fact that even if he was verbal right now she knew it wasn’t the right time to ask questions.

He needed her to hold him, kiss him, tell him everything was okay with them and in general. He needed her to let him sleep and she would because she cared so deeply for him and his well-being. It was more important to let him rest with her and recover than it was to press for information no matter how much she wanted it.

But she had so many goddamn questions. Questions that she’d been asking herself all week. Questions that swirled in her mind every waking minute and sometimes slipped out in hoarse screams that drained all of her energy and burned her throat.  

She concentrated on Eddie. Forcing away flashbacks of striding into an empty field off the side of the highway near the trailer park and screaming at the sky until her lungs were empty and she couldn’t stand up anymore. Two sets of warm hands pulling her back to her feet and all the hazy memories that came after that of being force fed so she wouldn’t collapse after days of refusing food and gruff voices, uncharacteristically soft as they assured her they’d find him. Eddie didn’t do it. He would be okay.

Karmen took a calming breath. Tilting her chin downwards slightly she could see that Eddie had fallen asleep. He was heavy in her arms, melted against her body like putty. His arm slung loosely over her waist instead of tightly gripping her as it was before. The worry lines on his forehead smoothing out as he snored gently against her chest.

She wondered how long it had been since he’d rested willingly and not in a medicine induced haze. 

As if in answer to her question, Wayne appeared from behind the curtain shielding their view of the door.  Surprise on his face as he looked between the two of them. His features settling into a warm smile at the sight of Eddie resting so peacefully. He nodded at Karmen approvingly and she forced a smile back as he made his way to the chair beside the bed. Leaning back in it and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Good job.” He said softly, clearing his throat afterwards to rid it of emotion he hadn’t intended on showing. Karmen huffed out a laugh, letting her head roll against the mattress so she was facing him.

“Thanks.” She whispered back. Her hands absently petting Eddie as she thought. ���So you don’t know anything else?” She asked, getting straight to the point and watching as Wayne leant back in his chair and sighed. 

He didn’t seem surprised by her brashness. She supposed he had the same questions as her waiting to be answered in his own mind. Only, he had a little more information than she did. She was on the backfoot. Needed to play catch up and he was more than willing to oblige her after seeing how well she had managed to calm Eddie while he was gone.

She was the one. He was sure of it now.

“No.” He answered apologetically. “A couple of men in uniform came in here the first time I was visiting. They weren’t cops. Although they were here too, lurking. But these guys, I don't know.” He paused to think. “The Army, maybe.” He decided. “Said they found the killer and that it obviously wasn’t Eddie.” He replied with venom in his voice.

Karmen nodded. She had seen on the news that morning that Eddie had been cleared as a suspect after the real murderer was found. Apparently there was still a large portion of the town that was not convinced and was outraged at Eddie’s charges being dropped.

“They wanted to talk to Eddie.” He continued, gesturing with his head to his sleeping nephew. “But look at him. He can barely keep his eyes open and it was even worse a few days ago. They were none too happy when I said I’d need to be present to make sure he retains whatever information they needed to give him.” He scoffed.

“What do you think they wanted?” She asked with a frown. Her hand coming up to stroke at Eddie’s cheek when he stirred at her words.

“No idea.” The older man replied with a sigh. “Surely not to apologize.”

Karmen snorted at the statement, shaking her head and rolling her eyes at the notion. Absolutely not. After the witch-hunt the cops had led on Eddie, she doubted they’d ever accept responsibility and apologize. Hoping instead that Eddie was so grateful for no longer being a suspect that he would quietly fade into the background and never question their dodgy detective work.

Wayne and Karmen continued to chat quietly for an hour or so. Only being interrupted by the bustle of a busy nurse as she appeared by Eddie’s bedside.

Karmen smiled at her guiltily as a brow was raised in her direction. She’d been a visitor in the hospital plenty of times before and knew full well she shouldn’t be on the bed with the patient. But she’d found over the years it often depended on the nurse that was on duty as to what the rules were or how far she could bend them.

The woman looked them over with a sigh. Choosing not to say anything as she eyed the steady beat of Eddie’s heart monitor. 

“If she wasn’t up there, he’d be down there.” Wayne chuckled, gesturing towards the visitor chair on the other side of the bed. “It’s for the best, trust me.” He added, his tone conveying the wisdom of someone that had been taking care of Eddie for a long time.

He’d only been a patient for a couple of days but in that time he’d already proven himself to be difficult even while being cooperative. Not that he would remember any of it in the grand scheme of things. He had been in and out of sleep for days. Waking up confused every time until Wayne convinced him to breathe and he remembered where he was and why. The older man had no doubt that by the time Eddie was released, the memory of these first few days would be reduced to a blur of colors and sounds. 

“I’m sure.” The nurse agreed flatly, holding up the observation monitor. “But I need to check his vitals.” She explained, pulling the probe from its casing and leaning over the couple. 

To her credit, she worked around the fact that Karmen was absolutely in her way, without complaint. She was a good one.

‘Nurse Jo.' Karmen thought to herself as her eyes lingered on the woman’s name tag. 'Noted.'

Nurse Jo took Eddie’s bicep gently and slotted the small object under his armpit making him jolt. His eyes flew open, heart rate ticking up dramatically as he panicked at the feel of a warm body under him. He shoved at Karmen, frantically. A cry of pain fell from his lips as she released him from her arms and he rolled back onto the mattress beside her and tried his best to scramble down the bed away from the perceived threat.

Wayne was on his feet in an instant, standing steady by Karmen’s side and preparing to remove her from the bed for her own safety if Eddie accidentally lashed out violently, not realizing who he was hurting. The nurse on the other side of the couple locked eyes with Wayne briefly. A silent understanding between them, that she would hold Eddie down if she needed to so that he could sling Karmen over his shoulder and get her out of there.

Thankfully their silent plan of action didn’t come to fruition. Instead Eddie brought his arms up to cover his chest as he curled in on himself. The pain radiating from his wounds was suddenly more pressing than anything else in that moment. The overwhelming agony that throbbed throughout his body winding him as he tried desperately to take in a breath and came up empty. He choked on nothing as his lungs refused air.

Karmen slipped down the bed quickly. Her head level with his as she slowly reached out to place a hand on his forearm. 

He looked up at her, confused. The fear in his eyes made her stomach drop as he stared at her like she could help and was refusing to.

The hand on his arm squeezed ever so gently. A familiar gesture that seemed to knock something into place and remind him of falling asleep with her earlier. He found the breath that had been alluding him and inhaled it greedily. Exhaling sharply before suddenly trying to shuffle closer. Whining as it sent new waves of pain through his torso. 

Karmen was quick to pick up his slack. Inching closer and moving the hand from his arm to stroke over his shoulder, up his neck and into his hair. 

Somewhere behind her, she heard Wayne breathe a sigh of relief. The squeak of his boots on the linoleum floor and the whoosh of air from the noisy cushion on the visitors chair, told her that  he had returned to his place. Content that Eddie wouldn’t lash out at her at this point. 

She looked up at the nurse still standing behind Eddie. The woman smiled at her sympathetically before her eyes flicked up to Eddie’s heart monitor. Watching as the rate slowly dipped back to normal before moving around the bed to where Eddie could see her and holding up the obs machine again.

He eyed her cautiously. Still breathing heavily due to the pain. His bottom lip trembling as he glowered up at her. Not wanting to give her permission to touch him again.

She seemed to understand. Sighing softly before giving him a pointed look.

“If you let me do your obs, I can get you more pain medication.” She said softly, clearly peaking his interest although he had tried to hide it. He continued to stare at her for a few more seconds before tearing his eyes away. Looking at Karmen instead and giving the faintest of nods as he stared into her empathetic eyes.

Karmen stroked his knotty hair gently as the nurse slipped the probe back under his arm. He shivered involuntarily at the feeling, closing his eyes against the embarrassment he felt welling in his chest. He was so weak and helpless. Scared. He never wanted anyone to see him this way, least of all Karmen.

It had definitely been nearly two weeks, he decided, since the last time they saw one another. He’d left her place happy and full of confidence. Determination had swirled in his gut as he set off for school, excited for his campaign. Ready to give those kids that best night of their young lives.

They had enjoyed the campaign thoroughly. Despite the substitute. At first she seemed an inconvenience but ultimately she won them the game. It had taught him a little more about not judging a book by its cover. Something he’d already known not to do. But ironically he had already questioned his morals about it once that same day. Wondering if perhaps he was secretly and shamefully, more prejudiced than he had ever realized. When he’d spoken to Chrissy in the woods and realized she wasn’t actually the massive bitch he assumed she would be simply because she was popular and a cheerleader. But he had given himself grace for that one, considering that perhaps his assumptions had more to do with the fact that she was Jason Carver’s girlfriend than anything else so trivial. 

Anyway, after leaving the Drama room, his memory was foggy. He remembered driving back to his trailer with Chrissy in tow and making small talk. Ironically about Karmen. She had given him good input on his plans for their anniversary. He remembered not being able to find the ketamine. He didn’t remember if he ever found it or not. Just, walking back into the living room to find Chrissy acting strange…

Eddie physically shuddered at the thought. The nurse that was currently counting his breaths studying his face as his closed eyes screwed up tighter. Flashes of memory assaulting him. Making him grunt and jolt with the sound of every snapping bone.

Karmen watched as he turned pale before her eyes. She hadn’t realized it was possible for him to lose any more color. Her hand slid down to his cheek and she stroked it with her thumb. Her fingertip dragging again over his clammy skin as sweat began to bead on his forehead.

He opened his eyes to look at her. The same fear from earlier intensified as he blinked at her, lips trembling as his stomach lurched and he dry heaved dramatically. Both Karmen and the nurse jumping into action and rushing to help him into a sitting position. His shaking hands holding the bowl he was handed tight as Karmen scooped fistfulls of his hair out of his face and pulled it into a loose bun using the spare hair tie on her wrist.

Eddie retched into the container in his hands. Not bringing up much of anything as he grunted and cried through the pain of hunching into some of his worst wounds. His abs burned under the strain. His insides felt like they were trying to crawl out of his mouth.

Chrissy’s broken face was staring at him in the darkness of his eyelids. Her sunken eyeballs watching as he let tears slip passed his lashes. A broken whine burning his throat alongside the bile. The pain in his stomach rising up into his chest at the sight of her.

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

He hadn’t even tried to save her. He’d watched her tiny frame crumple to the ground and he’d run. He hadn’t stopped to think. He wasn’t sure how he ended up at Rick’s or where he’d left his car. He had snippets of walking along the country road that led to the lake. But that was all before he was there. Hunched under the tarp, hiding in the boat. Playing the situation over and over in his mind and wondering if it was too late to do something different. Knowing deep down that to try and go back to the trailer or call for help would essentially be handing himself in and that would be his downfall. He’d be in Prison right now or dead if they’d pushed his case through the courts fast enough. Which of course they would have with the way the town had rallied against him.

Slowly he opened his teary eyes, hovering over the bowl and breathing out a heavy exhale through wet lips. Drool connected them to the container in his hands as he lifted his head, huffing at the stab of pain in his neck. He was dizzy. So, so dizzy.

The nurse gently took the bowl from him before he tipped it over. Stuffing some paper towel into his empty fist. She promised to be back with his pain meds. Leaving him alone with his precious people.

Glazed eyes traveled down his body to where Wayne’s hand rested supportively on his shin before the hand on his left shoulder caught his attention.

“Do you want to lay back?” Karmen asked softly, surprised he could sit in the first place.

“That’s a good idea.” Wayne agreed, moving around the end of the bed and placing a gentle arm behind Eddie’s back. Karmen mimicked him on her side, both of them encouraging him to relax and let them take his weight.

Eddie did his best, not wanting to be a burden. Because that was really all he was. All he’d been for the last two weeks.

A burden.

“Come on, Eds. Relax.” Wayne coached as they guided his stiff body back towards the mattress. 

“We’ve got you.” Karmen reminded him. The hand that pressed gently against his collarbone slid up to brush at his neck as she leaned close. Her breath was hot on his ear as she moved with him until he was lying back again. Their arms slipping out from under him and letting him settle as he looked up at her with a broken expression.

She took the paper towel from his hand, wiping at his mouth and ignoring the way fresh tears continued to spill persistently down his cheeks at the gesture.

He grabbed for her hand before she could pull away. Pulling it down onto his chest with both of his as he inhaled a broken breath that shook his entire torso. He needed to tell her what had happened. Needed her to know where he went. How Chrissy had come to be in his trailer in the first place. It was the reason he had tried so hard to stay alive. Not wanting his favorite people to think he was a murderer and possibly a dirty cheater to boot. 

Karmen didn’t know anything as far as he understood. Yet she was here, sitting by his side and holding his hair while he vomited. Despite his new disfigured body and his unrelenting weakness. She was right there, holding his hand. Looking at him with such adoration and a kindness he would never understand.

He didn’t deserve her. Never had. But this situation was something else entirely. She had every right to walk away and she hadn’t. 

Yet, anyway.

He curled his fingers around hers, pulling her hand up to press his face against it as he screwed his eyes shut once more. A desperate sob rattled through him as he pressed his nose into the flesh of her palm and cried for her as if she wasn’t right there. Preemptive grief. It wouldn’t hurt as much when she left if he could see it coming. If he had already mourned her.

Karmen felt her own eyes begin to well with tears as she leaned down towards him. Resting her free arm on the bed and balancing with her elbow beside his head as she whispered in his ear once more about how he was safe and everything was okay.

Although meant to be reassuring it only spurred on his tears. The belief that he didn’t deserve her kindness and that she would leave if he ever told her the truth had him feeling helpless. The inability to talk that had grasped him at exactly the wrong moment only served to make things worse as he desperately willed her to understand all he needed to say through his silence.

Please.

Please understand.

He begged silently. Opening his brilliant brown eyes to look up her. One of his hands reaching for her shirt and tugging at it to try and bring her even closer again.

It was drugs! She wanted drugs! I didn’t kill her!

I didn’t kill her!

I didn't…

Wayne watched them silently. Feeling like a third wheel as Karmen pressed her forehead to Eddie’s and kissed him anywhere she could reach without moving.

“Here we are.” Nurse Jo announced, startling the three of them as she returned, holding up a syringe. She pushed between them, to Eddie’s dismay and got to work rubbing alcohol patches over the connections on Eddie’s IV. Making sure everything was sterile before placing the syringe in the connector and pushing down on the plunger. Eddie gagged involuntarily at the feeling of the cold liquid entering his veins, eliciting a snort from the nurse.

“Mmm, no one likes that.” She hummed, reconnecting him to his bag of fluids before turning to Karmen and Wayne. “I’m sure you know this, but visiting hours are almost over.” She said almost apologetically as Eddie began to tremble. 

No… No. No.

He chanted in his mind, looking between the both of them frantically as he waited for one of them to protest.

“He’s not been waking up much during the nights so he’s barely registered being alone.” Wayne explained to Karmen. “This… Might be the first night he remembers.” He added idly, the casual tone to his voice only adding to Eddie’s panic. His wide eyes continued to flick between them as he mutely pleaded for one of them to say they would stay with him.

Can’t be alone.

He cried out, although it didn’t come from his mouth. He hadn’t said it. His mouth was open now and still nothing was coming out. Just random sounds that sounded nothing like the words he wanted to make.

“Hey, hey.” Karmen shushed him as he used her shirt for leverage to try and pull her to him possessively. He wasn’t letting her leave.

The three pairs of eyes in the room that weren’t Eddie’s all turned towards the heart monitor as it began to alarm his beats per minute. The nurse moved around the bed to silence it as she gestured towards Karmen faintly.

“Try and calm him down.” She instructed, studying his cardiac cycle on the monitor as Karmen shared a look with Wayne. The older man nodded softly before Eddie’s arms wrapped tight around her hips.

“Eddie.” She whispered, locking her legs against the edge of the bed as he finally succeeded in pulling himself closer. “Eddie, it’s alright. It’s okay.” She assured him, his ears deaf to her comforting words.

Don’t leave. Don’t leave. Don’t leave. Don’t leave.

He chanted. Holding held her impossibly tight. Willing her to understand as he pressed his face against her so hard that stars began to appear behind his eyelids. His nose lost in the flesh of her chest as he breathed stuttered breaths through his parted lips. Mouth moving to form the words he wanted so badly to speak but wasn’t able to force out.

Please. Please. Please.

He silently begged, hands tightening in her shirt. Knuckles white as he fisted the fabric and again tried to press closer. Clawing at her but not moving any further as she was already so painfully close.

He whined softly as she tried to card one hand through his matted hair. The other, gently circling his back. 

“I know.” She whispered sadly, leaning down closer. “I know.”

Her heart was breaking for him. He seemed genuinely terrified. The way he was clinging to her was reminiscent of a cat clinging to the sides of a cage to avoid the vet or a bathtub. She wished he could tell her what was going on. That he had a way to communicate without needing to use words.

Something sparked in her at the thought. The beginnings of an idea forming in her brain that she would explore later when she was alone.

“Hey?” She asked, sliding a hand under his chin and tilting it so he was looking at her. “I’m not going just yet and I’ll be back first thing tomorrow. I promise.” She whispered, her tone low and calming. “I won’t go until they force me out, okay?” She asked, nodding at him as he swallowed thick and loud in the sterile space.

“Still half an hour left.” The Nurse said absently as she stepped away from the heart monitor. “I didn’t think he’d take too kindly to it. Wanted to give him time to adjust to the idea.” She explained, giving them all a once over as Karmen looked up and joined Wayne in giving her a grateful smile.

“Thank you.” The older man said softly, arms folded over his chest as he nodded at her. Feeling some sense of relief, finally content that Eddie would be in good hands while he wasn’t around.

The last half an hour of visiting hours was tumultuous to say the least. Eddie flittered between emotions like a hummingbird between flowers. Anger then sadness, indignance and then despair. Pain, so much pain. Physical and emotional. In the end it was more like a whole hour before they actually left and it had ended with sedation. 

An outcome no one was looking for. Least of all Karmen, who couldn’t help the ugly sobs that left her as Eddie stared at her with betrayal in his eyes while a male nurse held him down and the Nurse Jo injected him with the sedative.

Wayne held her close, tears in his own eyes as Eddie’s rolled back and the hand that had previously been death gripping her shirt, slowly fell limp off the side of the bed.

A disgusting gnawing in Karmen’s gut at the limpness of his body made her look away as she cried into Wayne’s chest. The intrusive thought that she may as well have witnessed his death, forced harder sobs into flannel fabric as the older man squeezed her tight and reminded her that Eddie was okay.

That they’d see him again in the morning.

~

Part 5 Here!! Feel free to let me know if you want to be tagged in the rest of this story as I post it.

Okay so in this chapter I accidentally set up for two other fics I am writing. One of them I’ve actually started (Eddie’s drive home from Hellfire with Chrissy) and the other is basically Season 4 from Karmen’s (and by proxy, Wayne’s) POV. But obviously as Eddie is “missing” for the entirety of that time I’m not sure anyone would actually be interested in reading a fic that is purely Karmen|Wayne centric. So, please me know if that’s something you’d be interested in or if I could maybe get the info out there in another way that interests you rather than an entire fully written fic.

Read the rest of the series here :)

This series is so personal to me, so it means the world to me when someone let’s me know they enjoy a work from this series. If you guys liked this please pleaseee consider letting me know via comment, reblog, message, anon ask etc.  

Tag List: @ghosttownwherenoonegoes @3ddi3-daydreamer @micheledawn1975 @munson-blurbs @wheels-of-despair @browneyes528