#dracula incorrect quotes

[another-chaotic-bisexual-vampire]

Mina: Doctor, you must take me with you!

Dr. VH: But it'll be dangerous!

Mina: But if you leave me behind, the Count will make me do awful things... terrible things...

Dr. VH: Like what?

Mina: Like... lie to Jonathan!

Jonathan: SHE'S COMING WITH US.

[yallemagne]

Mina: “Go, my husband! God can guard me!”

Jonathan: “Then in God’s name let us go at once! We are losing time! He may return sooner!”

Van Helsing, setting up what he expects to be his best joke ever: “Not so!”

Jonathan: “But why?”

Van Helsing: “Don’t you remember? He drank so much from Mina tonight that he must have indigestion! HAHA!!”

Jonathan & Mina: *start wailing*

Van Helsing: *cringes* “Oh, is now not the time?”

[embystarr-blog]

Dracula: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died- Jonathan: Twelve, actually. Dracula: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that? Jonathan: Yours! Dracula: That's right: no one's.

[loganslowdown4]

Dracula: futurebeveragesayswhat

Jonathan: What?

Dracula: heheheeheheheehe

@re-dracula

[2memeornot2meme1]

Arthur: I’m going to take you out. Vampire Lucy: Great, it’s a date! Arthur: I meant that as a threat. Vampire Lucy: See you at six!

[lithiumseven]

Incorrect Dracula Characters

Jonathan:

Mina:

Lucy:

Arthur:

Seward:

Quincey:

Van Helsing:

Renfield:

Dracula:

Bonus Bram Stoker:

(part II) (part III)

[picklepie888]

There are so many Dracula/Frankenstein crossover movies that have Dracula and the Monster as either best friends or worst enemies. But am I the only one who thinks if we had kept the characters' book-accurate personalities they would just be...indifferent to each other?

Dracula: Mwahaha! Foolish man! I have ensnared you in my trap! Now your blood is mine!

The Monster: Yeah sure whatever. This might as well happen.

Dracula: Wait... you're undead? But you're not a vampire?! How is that possible?!

The Monster: It's a long story, I don't want to talk about it.

Dracula: Are you made up of the body parts of different dead men?! What the hell?!

The Monster: Look man, if you're going to kill me just get it over with already!

Dracula: I only feast on the living. I don't want your nasty rotted corpse blood.

The Monster: Yeah ok I get it. No one else wants me either.

Dracula: ...Are you like...ok-

The Monster: No.

Dracula:...Ok well, I'm just gonna...go hunt down the humans. Good luck with...whatever you got going on. *turns into a bat and flies away*

[incorrectdracula2020quotes]

[black-ak9]

Casual in the cemetery 🪦⚰️

My younger versions of Drac and Frank (introduced for the first time)

In my AU, Frank is a sweetheart! When he was living his early years as Victor F.'s creation, he was more shy, sentimental, he didn't control his strength and electricity.

And he is also a big fan of Nik Tesla

[another-chaotic-bisexual-vampire]

"I, on my part, give up here the certainty of eternal rest, and go out into the dark where may be the blackest things that the world or the nether world holds!" We were all silent, for that was so fucking metal

[yallemagne]

Mina: "I hope it's not too presumptuous to pray that God doesn't massacre Jonathan in a blind angry wrath against me. As for me, I am dirt on the ground, so I deserve whatever's coming to me."

VH: "... I'm taking this typewriter away until you can think of 3 nice things to write about yourself."

[cipher-zoo]

Perona: A stake to the heart won't kill a vampire if their tits are big enough. They deflect it. Stake? Just bounces right off. Done. Back to doing hot girl shit.

Zoro: Then I just use a spear instead.

Perona: You are trying so hard to kill a vampire with big bazongas, and for what? Why would you do that to the ecosystem?

Mihawk: Both of you have exactly 5 seconds to shut up and get out of my sight.

Perona: *under her breath* He's mad because his tits are not big enough to deflect a stake.

Zoro: Obviously.

Perona: Yours would be...

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

(I meant Drac, shit. How does Drac feel about being in Dead By Daylight?)

Dracula, sitting in his throne room, scrolling on his phone: It does not take forty goddamn minutes to deliver a bean burrito.

*Ash Williams and Laurie Strode burst into his Throne Room*

Dracula: Oh cool! Dinner and a show! *tosses his phone away* Suck it uber eats, get your game up.

Ash: Is this the vamp, Laurie?

Laurie: What? No, Ash, we're supposed to be in a DIFFERENT Castle hunting a DIFFERENT guy with black and red robes on.

Dracula: Is vamp meant to be some kind of slur? Cause I can think of like ten better ones right off the bat.

Ash: So, how do you wanna do this? You rush him and I take him from the side?

Laurie: Why do I always have to be the one to rush the monster?! You're the one with the Chainsaw Hand!

Dracula: I'm being very polite. I'm being very polite allowing this conversation to continue.

Ash: Look, the entity left me in charge-

Laurie: Oh, here we go! Mister older and wiser as if he could ever hold down a-

*they bicker longer as Dracula sighs and stands up*

Dracula: Aaaaaaadd times up *claps his hands, silencing them* So tell me kids! How exactly were you planning on getting rid of me?

Ash: The only way anyone can gank a vamp. *revs his chainsaw*

Laurie: By taking their head off. *brandishes knife*

Dracula: Ah, well, that's step one? What about two through ten?

Ash: ...

Laurie: ...Come again?

Dracula: Let me ask you something, kids. *Andrew W.K.'s Ready to die starts playing over the castle loudspeakers as Dracula prepares to go on a very enthusiastic walk* Do you know why I keep my door unlocked?

Ash: Uh...

Dracula: So I can let in foolish little children with daddy issues to come on in. *draws sword* Call me the DUMBEST slur I've ever heard in my life! And allow me to cancel my Uber Eats.

Source: https://www.youtube.com/@LampLeg

[enigma-the-mysterious]

Thank God the vampires of colour have a speaking role in Nocturne. I remember the first few seasons of Castlevania when those vampire generals from India, Nepal and Japan were there in Dracula's castle... just to look pretty, I guess? None of them ever spoke a word. What a wasted opportunity.

It's so nice to see an Aztec vampire and getting to know how that culture adds to the overall worldbuilding!

Also, everything about Annette, her backstory and her culture was just *chef's kiss*

[lithiumseven]

Incorrect Dracula Part III

Jonathan:

Mina:

Lucy:

Arthur:

Seward:

Quincey:

Van Helsing:

(part II) (part I)