#dr gilbert alexander

[themaddoctorappreciationclub]

Welcome Dr. Clef and Gilbert Alexander!

Dr. Clef - His knowledge on anomalous entities shall be useful for any member wishing to research them, as well as making sure other members know the proper precautions that must be taken when interacting with SCP 049.

Dr. Gilbert Alexander - He calls himself Alex the Great for a reason. His knowledge on engineering is marvelous. He shall be very useful for this club. Many members should ensure they meet him, since such knowledge should not go to waste.

[arsont-t]

[kluskinoodles]

Doodle page!

Close ups under the cut!

[opabinia-fan]

silly billy bioshock doodles

[jackjolene]

Justice Ending of BioShock 2

My favorite ending of BioShock 2 is the Justice Ending - the one where Delta saves all the Little Sisters and kills Grace Holloway, Stanley Poole, and Dr. Gilbert “Alex the Great” Alexander. I like it because it’s the ending where Eleanor is good and Sofia Lamb dies for her misdeeds.

If you spare any one, two, or all of the three NPCs (Holloway, Poole, and Alex the Great), you get the Mercy Ending, where Eleanor spares Sofia’s life. I dislike this because A) I believe that Sofia should pay for her crimes and misdeeds, and B) I doubt that she would stop being a horrible person if she is allowed to live.

Now, personally, I think that you should still get the Justice ending if you spare Grace. Her actions against Delta were fueled by a misunderstanding, and sparing her allows her to see that Delta is not the unfeeling monster she thought he was. Also, she begins helping Delta, which is something that neither Poole nor Alex the Great do.

An argument could be made that Grace deserves to die for aiding Sofia Lamb, for trying to keep you from saving the Little Sisters in Pauper’s Drop, and for trying so hard to kill you. As said before, however, her actions against you were because of a misunderstanding. Also, she believed herself to be protecting Eleanor, something that she had once failed to do. Killing her doesn���t have the same impact as does killing Poole or Alex the Great.

Poole is downright slimy. He doesn’t care if you save or harvest the Little Sisters; he sold Eleanor to one of the Little Sister Orphanages, he framed Johnny Topside as a spook, and then he flooded Dionysus Park, killing dozens of people. Out of the three NPCs, he deserves to die the most. 

There’s a funny thing you can do, though, whenever you decide to spare Poole: Put a few Traps Rivets on the door and then leave. That way, you can imagine him sweating as he tries to figure out how to get out of the ticket booth without getting riddled with rivets. Alternately, you could also use some Trap Spears for the same effect.

Dr. Gilbert Alexander, aka “Alex the Great”, is a bit more of a grey area. Before he fully mutated into the form you find him in, he wished to die, but was unable to kill himself. When you do find him, he is completely insane, but wants to live now.

Either way, I think he deserves to die. Back in the day, he was directly responsible for Johnny Topside being turned into a Big Daddy, and for the forced bond between himself and Eleanor. In his mutated state, he is as homicidal and dangerous as he is insane, and he is very insane.

To conclude, I think that the Justice Ending is the best ending of BioShock 2, and therefore it’s canon for my BioShock posts. 

Thoughts?

[psalm22-6]

The Exhibitors Herald, June 1926

The first of the deluxe presentations was at the Forrest theatre, Philadelphia, Thursday evening. The audience was composed largely of members of the Advertising Clubs of the World, which was holding an international convention in the Quaker City, and the members of the Poor Richard Club. There were also present a large turnout of society, official and judicial life of Philadelphia. The other audience, which included Mrs. Coolidge, members of the diplomatic corps and Washington newspapermen, as guests of the National Press club, viewed the picture at a special screening Friday night at Poli’s theatre in Washington. General W. W. Atterbury; Senator-elect [and notorious political boss] Wm. S. Vare; Senator [and law professor] George W. Pepper; Lieut. Commander Geo. B. Wilson, U. S. Navy [not to be confused with the character from the Great Gatsby] ; Mrs. Barclay Warburton [civil rights supporter and journalist] ; Major Norman MacLeod; E. T. Stottsbury; Paul Thompson; Alexander Van Rensselaer; Mrs. Charlemagne Tower; Dr. H. J. Tily [department story owner, mason] ; Mr. and Mrs. Theodore W. Reath; Frank Smith; Mr. and Mrs. Jos. N. Snellenburg [merchant in clothing trade] ; Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Block; Mr. and Mrs. Jules E. Mastbaum [movie theater and department store magnates] ; George Nitsche [possibly an affiliate of U. Penn]; Josiah H. Penniman [Provost of U. Penn] ; J. Willis Martin [a judge]; H. S. McDevitt; John J. Monaghan. Judge Buffington, of Pittsburgh; Thos Finletter [could be one of a a number of lawyers with this name]; Mr. and Mrs. A. L. Einstein; Maurice Paillard, French consul; Robt. Von Moschzisker [justice of the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania]; Mayor W. Freeland Kendrick; Geo. H. Elliott, director of public safety; Chas. B. Hall, president of City Council; Dr. Charles Hart; Rev. Wm. H. Fineschriber; Chas Fox, district attorney [could be a coincidence but Charles Fox III and IV are both currently lawyers in Pennsylvania]; John Fisler, president Manufacturers Club [golf afficianado]; Albert M. Greenfield [real estate broker and developer]; Jos. P. Gaffney; Mr. and Mrs. Ellis Gimbel [department store owner]; Daniel Gimbel [brother and co-owner along with Ellis]; J. D. Lit; Richard Gimbel [son of Ellis Gimble]; Benedict Gimbel [brother of Ellis and Daniel]; Colonel Robert Glendinning [banker]; Benjamin Golder [member of the Pennsylvania State House of Representatives], Agnew T. Dice [President of Reading Railroad]. Dr. Leon Elmaleh [founder of the Levantine Jews Society of Philadelphia]; H. Gilbert Cassidy [a judge]; Utley E. Crane [author of Business Law for Business Men]; Cyrus H. K. Curtis [magazine publisher]; Chas. S. Caldwell; G. W. Cole; Hampton L. Carson [lawyer, professor, state Attorney general]; A. Lincoln Acker [Philidelphia port collector]; Max Aron [lawyer]; Eugene C. Bonniwell [a judge]; Chas. L. Brown; Edward Groome; Chas. L. Bartlett; Edward Bok [editor of the Ladies Home Journal]; Mr. and Mrs. Geo. H. Lorimer [editor of the Saturday Evening Post]; Edw. Bacon; Chas. Curtis Harrison [a judge]; Samuel S. Eels, Rev. J. J. O’Hara [future Archbishop of Philadelphia], and Bishop Thos. J. Garland, D. D. [Episcopalian bishop]

There were a bunch of Universal employees in attendance too but that's less interesting to me. Let's see who went to the Washington show

Both showings were under the auspices of Ambassador Henri Beragner of France and Marcel Knecht, French publisher and trade representative. Dr. Ferdnand Heurteur, leader of the orchestra of the Paris Opera House, came to the United States to conduct the orchestras at these two showings. Among the distinguished guests at the Washington showing were: Don Juan Riano, Spanish ambassador; Senor and Senora de Mathieu, Chilan ambassador; Raoul Tilmont, secretary, Belgium embassy; G. H. Thompson, second secretary, British embassy; A. J. Pack, British embassy; Eduardo Racedo and Madame Racedo, first secretary, Argentine embassy; Conrado Traverso, Argentine embassy; Dr. and Senora Velarde, Peruvian ambassador; Dr. and Madame Santiago F. Bedoya, secretary, Peruvian embassy; Senor and Senora Tellez, Mexican ambassador; Senor and Senora Castro, secretary, Mexican embassy; Ambassador de Martino, Italy; Colonel Augusto Villa, miltary attache, Italian embassy; Count and Countess Sommati di Mombello, Italian embassy; Signor Leonardo Vitetti, Italian embassy. Baron and Baroness Ago Maltzan, German embassy; Mr. and Madame Matsuidaira, Japanese embassy; Mr. and Madame Gurgel de Amaral, Brazilian embassy; Senor and Senora de Sanchez Aballi, Cuban embassy; Senor Don Jose T. Baron, secretary, Cuban embassy; Brigadier General Georges A. L. Dumont, military attache, French embassy; Mr. Jules Henry, first secretary, French embassy; Major and Madame Georges Thenault, French embassy; Captain and Madame Willm, French embassy; Mr. A. Konow Bojsen, secretary, Danish legation; Mr. and Madame Marc Peter, Swiss ambassador; Mr. Andor de Hertelendy, Hungarian embassay; Senor and Senora Ricardo Jaimes Freyre, Bolivian embassy. Mr. and Mrs. Timothy A. Smiddy, minister, Irish Free State; Mr. and Madame Simoposilis, Minister from Greece; Mr. and Madame Prochnik, Austrian ambassador; Mr. and Madame Charles L. Seya, Latvian embassy; Mahmoud Samy Pasha and Madame Samy Pasha, Egyptian embassy; Mr. Zdenek Fierlinger, Minister from Czechoslovakia; Mr. Simeon Radeff, Bulgarian embassy; Mr. and Madame Jan Ciechanowski, Polish minister; Senor don Manuel Zavala, Nicaragua embassy, and Mr. and Madame Bostrom, Swedish ambassador.

[lilliathshifts]

I guess tvd and spn are the shows people go for little gatherings. Here’s a list of all the actors and actresses I’ve seen that I know very well from other shows so far

Steven R. McQueen

Jeremy Gilbert - The Vampire Diaries

Jimmy Borrelli - Chicago Fire (bro got on my NERVES OMG)

Courtney Ford

Kelly Kline - Supernatural

Vanessa Monroe - The Vampire Diaries

Taylor Kinney

Kelly Severide - Chicago Fire (also got on my nerves but a lot less than Jimmy)

Mason Lockwood - The Vampire Diaries

Dave Anders

Blaine McDonough DeBeers - iZombie

Dr Wales/ Victor Frankenstein - Once Upon a Time

John Gilbert - The Vampire Diaries

Lauren Cohan

Rose - The Vampire Diaries

Bela Talbot - Supernatural

Maggie Greene - The Walking Dead

Stephen Amell

Brady - The Vampire Diaries

Oliver Queen/ Green Arrow - Arrow

Sebastian Roché

Mikael Mikaelson - The Vampire Diaries

Balthazar - Supernatural

Edgar Waltz - Grimm

Claire Holt

Rebekah Mikaelson - The Vampire Diaries

Emma - H2O: Just Add Water (I never expected to see her)

Torrey DeVitto

Natalie Manning - Chicago Med (why so many Chicago Tri actors??)

Meredith Fell - The Vampire Diaries (also a doctor, wow)

Phoebe Tonkin

Cleo - H2O: Just Add Water

Haylee - The Vampire Diaries

Paul Telfer

Xander Kiriakis - Days Of Our Lives (I’m losing it right now)

Alexander - The Vampire Diaries

I will add more as I watch. Also these constant plot twist are making me confused and angry

[byneddiedingo]

Maggie Smith and Michael Palin in A Private Function (Malcolm Mowbray, 1984)

Cast: Michael Palin, Maggie Smith, Denholm Elliott, Richard Griffiths, Tony Haygarth, John Northington, Bill Paterson, Liz Smith, Alison Steadman, Jim Carter, Pete Postlethwaite. Screenplay: Alan Bennett, Malcolm Mowbray. Cinematography: Tony Pierce-Roberts. Production design: Stuart Walker. Film editing: Barrie Vince. Music: John Du Prez. 

A Private Function begins with Joyce Chilvers (Maggie Smith) and her mother (Liz Smith) entering a darkened movie theater where a newsreel is playing. We watch the newsreel, about meat rationing in postwar Britain, as the two women make their way to their seats, with Joyce scolding her mum for not finding a seat of her own. Then the lights come up and the theater organ rises from the pit. Joyce is playing the organ with her mother awkwardly sharing the bench with her. It's a nifty way to introduce not only two of the movie's key characters but also the era in which the film is set and the core of the plot. The newsreel also includes footage of the preparations for the wedding of Princess Elizabeth and Sir Philip Mountbatten, so we know that we're in November of 1947. The setting is a town in Northern England where the local dignitaries, led by the irascible, snobbish Dr. Swaby (Denholm Elliott, are preparing for a private function, a banquet, to celebrate the marriage of the future queen and prince consort. But how do you put on a banquet when everything, especially meat, is strictly rationed, and a diligent civil servant named Wormold (Bill Paterson) is enforcing the consumption laws with an iron hand? The banquet planners have found a way: They're raising an illegal pig. Eventually, Joyce and her meek chiropodist husband, Gilbert (Michael Palin), will get involved, especially after the would-be social climbing Joyce is not only frustrated by her inability to get around the rationing laws, but is also piqued by not being invited to the banquet. The only solution, it seems, is for Gilbert to commit pignapping and to hide the purloined swine in their home. The rest is farce in the manner of the British comedies made in the late 1940s and early 1950s, e.g., Kind Hearts and Coronets (Robert Hamer, 1949), The Lavender Hill Mob (Charles Crichton, 1951), and The Ladykillers (Alexander Mackendrick, 1955). It's raunchier and a good deal more scatalogical than those classic films, and it's sometimes edited a little choppily -- there are jump cuts where none are needed -- but it earns the comparison on the strength of fine comic performances by Maggie Smith, Palin, Elliott, and especially Liz Smith as the endearingly dotty Mother. ("She's 74," Joyce often interjects to excuse, explain, and even praise her parent's behavior.) 

[ulkaralakbarova]

Two street basketball hustlers try to con each other, then team up for a bigger score. Credits: TheMovieDb. Film Cast: Sidney Deane: Wesley Snipes Billy Hoyle: Woody Harrelson Gloria Clement: Rosie Perez Rhonda Deane: Tyra Ferrell Robert: Cylk Cozart Junior: Kadeem Hardison George: Ernest Harden Jr. Walter: John Marshall Jones Raymond: Marques Johnson T.J.: David Roberson Zeke: Kevin Benton Dwight ‘The Flight’ McGhee: Nigel Miguel Willie Lewis: Duane Martin Self: Bill Henderson Self: Sonny Craver Self: Jon Hendricks Tony Stucci: Eloy Casados Frank Stucci: Frank Rossi Duck Johnson: Freeman Williams Eddie ‘The King’ Faroo: Louis Price Himself: Alex Trebek Reggie: Reggie Leon Etiwanda: Sarah Stavrou Tad: Reynaldo Rey Lanei: Lanei Chapman Real Estate Agent: Irene Nettles Tanya: Torri Whitehead Alisa: Lisa McDowell The Bank: Dion B. Vines Malcolm: David Maxwell Tournament Announcer: Bill Caplan Tournament Referee: Richard James Baker Big Guy’s Girlfriend: Amy Golden Little Guy’s Girlfriend: Jeanette Srubar Sponsor: Zandra Hill Sponsor: Fred P. Gregory Pickup Truck Driver: Carl E. Hodge Ruben: Ruben Martinez Oki-Dog Businessman: Gary Lazer Yolanda: Donna Howell Jake: Don Fullilove Jeopardy! Announcer: Johnny Gilbert Dr. Leonard Allen: Leonard A. Oakland Rocket Scientist: Allan Malamud Dressing Room Staffer: Jeanne McCarthy Cop: John Charles Sheehan Leon: Gregg Daniel Gambler: Carl A. McGee NBA Announcer: Chick Hearn NBA Announcer: Stu Lantz Ballplayer: Ronald Beals Ballplayer: Joe Metcalf Ballplayer: Mahcoe Moore Ballplayer: Mark Hill Ballplayer: Eric Kizzie Ballplayer: Chalmer Maddox Ballplayer: Leroy Michaux Ballplayer: Joseph Duffy Ballplayer: Pete Duffy Ballplayer: Gary Moeller Ballplayer: Daniel Porto Ballplayer: Lester Hawkins Ballplayer: Jeffrey Todd Film Crew: Producer: Don Miller Director: Ron Shelton Producer: David V. Lester Editor: Kimberly Ray Director of Photography: Russell Boyd Editor: Paul Seydor Costume Design: Francine Jamison-Tanchuck Production Design: J. Dennis Washington Art Direction: Roger G. Fortune Executive Producer: Michele Rappaport Casting: Victoria Thomas Unit Production Manager: Ed Milkovich Set Decoration: Robert R. Benton Sound Re-Recording Mixer: Gregg Rudloff Makeup Department Head: Stephanie Cozart Burton Hair Department Head: Sterfon Demings Makeup Artist: Patricia Messina Hairstylist: Kenneth Walker Second Assistant Director: Robert J. Metoyer First Assistant Director: Richard Alexander Wells Sound Editor: Patrick Bietz ADR Editor: Barbara J. Boguski Sound Editor: Robert Bradshaw Sound Re-Recording Mixer: David E. Campbell Sound Editor: Larry Carow Foley Editor: Bill Dannevik Foley Editor: Michael Dressel Supervising Sound Editor: Gordon Ecker Supervising Sound Editor: Bruce Fortune Sound Mixer: Kirk Francis Foley Editor: Leslie Gaulin Sound Editor: Howell Gibbens ADR Editor: Holly Huckins ADR Mixer: Doc Kane Sound Editor: John Kwiatkowski Sound Editor: Kimberly Lowe Voigt Sound Editor: Anthony Milch ADR Editor: Michele Perrone Sound Re-Recording Mixer: John T. Reitz Foley Editor: Steve Richardson Sound Editor: Steve Schwalbe Foley Editor: Shawn Sykora Sound Editor: Richard E. Yawn Stunts: Gary Baxley Stunts: Simone Boisseree Stunts: Mike Johnson Stunt Coordinator: Julius LeFlore Stunts: Scott Leva Casting Associate: Jory Weitz Costume Supervisor: Betty Jean Slater Camera Operator: Mike Benson Steadicam Operator: Michael Meinardus Gaffer: Patrick Murray Grip: Mark Pearson Grip: Ty Suehiro Grip: Clay H. Wilson Grip: Edmond Wright Movie Reviews:

[vvatchword]

A Year's Worth of Words

Shut

Anyway so things have gone very well. And also very badly. They went well because everything was bad. 2023 was easily the worst year of my life and that is saying something. Thankfully (?), I write my best when I am suffering like a motherfucker. I clearly took advantage of that here.

I can absolutely promise you that I wrote this story to survive. There was a point I had to recognize I was not, in fact, editing. I was reading my own work for fun. I have to stop and redirect myself to get any work done. I suspect that's why my output has stayed relatively stable after November 2023. (My general output is 15,000-25,000 words per month if I'm not under the spell of my own bullshit.)

I thought for sure I'd look back at the year and compare it to my current output with some shame, but nah. I truly don't foresee any more months where I idly fart out 60,000 words--and that's a good thing. A month where I'm writing 60,000 words is a month where I'm doing almost nothing but writing and that's not exactly healthy.

My total wordcount for 2023 came out to 370,918, and my total as of today is 537,949. I could've sworn it was more than this, and it's possible it was, as I allow the wordcount generator to subtract removed words and I moved tons of material back and forth between my Scraps folders (which aren't counted). Regardless, I'm not unhappy. The story is really coming into its own and I'm having a great deal of fun with it. My original aim was to make something unreasonably sprawling and enormous, and it is unreasonably sprawling and enormous. It has already eclipsed Stephen King's It (a book that is, according to fans on Reddit, 441,156 words long) and has the capacity to outgrow Tolstoy's War and Peace (587,287 words) and, most importantly, Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged (561,996 words).

Obviously, this means nothing about its quality. The largest fanfics in the world have already hit the millions and there are plenty of works that would be a billion times better if you knocked them in half. That said, I really think I'm saying something, and the story is interesting to me, which might say something? I don't know. It's highly self-indulgent.

I don't know how big the story will end up, but I will most likely have to go through afterward and start slicing it into more manageable chunks. I'm not writing to write, I'm writing to entertain myself, and someday I'd like to show this to other people.

In any case, my current project involves writing for Dr. Lamb, Eleanor Lamb, Grace Holloway, Simon Wales, Stanley Poole, and Dr. Gilbert Alexander. Every single one requires an arc and I have hit the quarter point of their stories as a whole. It's enraging. I feel like I should be done by now.

Sometimes if I get very angry I sneak over to the Guilty Pleasure part of the story and write on that instead. You can imagine what that's about.

[hopeheartfilia]

Okay, im gonna make a little list of myself of youtubers that i think are for Sure not plagiarising so i can own myself if im wrong and be like oh heres proof i didnt see that coming, which is needed because my memory is shit

As we are staring alphabetically,

Alexander Avila

I also personally dont think About to eat are plagiarising

Amazing Phill

Benadette Banner

Best Dressed

Brian David Gilbert

bricks and disorder (they have 2 videos about making furniture, its highly unlikely)

CJ the X

Contrapoints

Daniel Howell

Dr. Fatima

Drawfee show (i mean. hoe do you expect drawfee to even do that)

Drawing wiff waffles

Freya Holmér (pls watch the bezier curves and the splines)

ilymirBora

Innuendo Studios (that one is possible comparatively but im just manifesting that it isnt at all ever)

Kill Bearup

Micarah Tewers

Moon Channel (hopefully for me and what i absorbed about japanese rpgs but no guarantees)

Mothers Basement

Negative Legend

Nightcore Reality ( that one could ruin my memories of my teen years so were crossing fingers and praying to rhe uncaring univers ebecause im part of it and i care so it cares)

Overly Sarcastic Productions

Quinton Reviews

Sarah Z

Shippers Guide to the galaxy

The Eggo man

Unlearning economics ( i dont know enough about economics to actualy make this call but like. i dont think so if he is it counts and all)

Xiran Jay Zhao

Keep in mind ive only written down people that i follow, watch semi regularly or remember very well ans think dont plagiarize. A lot frankly i dont think about either way and also i often forget to subscribe to yourubers that i like

[themaddoctorappreciationclub]

Welcome to the Mad Doctor Appreciation Club!

I am the receptionist, Mr. [REDACTED]. I hope you enjoy your stay at our highly renowned club! ... What do you mean you haven't heard of it before? That's besides the point. I'll give you the rundown.

This club, located in this old hospital, is home to the most genius of individuals whose work has been underappreciated! From the old workers from the Heilwald Klinikum, to that mercenary medic over by the operating table, every one of our beloved members has been underappreciated for far too long! We allow outsiders to visit and marvel at their ideas from time to time, but there have been certain... Incidents. Pay them no mind. It will be fine. Not EVERY member is hostile, so you should be safe.

Here is our list of current members. We are very relaxed with what can make an honorary member, too. An honorary member just means that you have never had a medical license or doctorate's degree before, but still hold the spirit of a mad doctor. If there is anybody who you believe deserves to join, either as a member or honorary member, please write their name at the bottom of this paper, in the section called "comments".

MEMBERS LIST:

•Dr. Daniel Dickens from Angels of Death

•Every Doctor from The Heilwald Loophole (Dr. Randolph, Dr. Wolfram, Dr. Hauser).

•Nurse Anne, Nurse Heideltraut, Nurse Sabine from The Heilwald Loophole (honorary members: work in the medical field)

• Dr. Steinman and Dr. Suchong from Bioshock

•Tanner from Scrutinized

•Victor Frankenstein (honorary member: never finished medical school)

•Herbert West from Reanimator (honorary member: never finished medical school)

•Medic from Team Fortress 2 (Note from Receptionist: keep an eye on him. He's so crazy, his medical license was revoked... You don't want to know why. We just call him Medic to avoid confusion with another member.)

•Dr. Takuto Maruki from Persona 5 Royal (Note from Receptionist: he's convinced he doesn't belong here. We assure you, he does.)

•Dr. Alfred Drevis from Mad Father

•Johannes Mimir Faustus from Servamp

•Dr. Zed from Borderlands (he doesn't have a REAL medical license, but he still has one. So, he is counted as a normal member.)

•Edward Richtofen from Call of Duty Zombies

•Victor Veloci from Dinosquad (research still being conducted. He seems to disappear from time to time. Recent sightings of dinosaurs reported from members of club.)

•Dr. Colress from Pokemon Black and White 2

•Dr. Yung from The Mastermind of Mirage Pokemon

•Blue Medic from Team Fortress 2 Emesis Blue (note from Receptionist: we call him Dr. Ludwig, Dr. Fritz, or Dr. L to avoid confusion with another member.)

•The Doctor from Dead by Daylight

•SCP 049 from the SCP Foundation

•Hannibal Lecter from Silence of the Lambs

•Dr. Gilbert Alexander from Bioshock 2

•Dr. Alto Clef from the SCP Foundation

[arsont-t]

Hear me out, the bioshock cast but they are all working in a corporation (Andrew's) and it's a "the office" like romcom/sitcom.

[vvatchword]

I don't think it's because of Atlas--i think it's because BAS heaped extra ick on the already icky Vox Populi commentary. You know, that explicit commentary that, "All violence is equivalent and everybody in a rebellion is equally at fault! If you fight against dehumanizing injustice ur a hypocrite. Checkmate, atheists!"

I've been building a BioShock timeline for nerd reasons... hence what follows.

(Spoilers follow, naturally)

In Burial at Sea, you have Vox Populi leader Daisy Fitzroy sacrificing herself so a white girl can have an awakening. This is a big "Oof" as far as plot points go: a pretty common racist theme in media is a POC character's erasure in order to elevate white characters and white stories--as in, the POC characters don't exist to further their own motives, might only exist to deliver a morality tale, and act as a teacher before being summarily executed. Same reason why "fridging" gets old--a character who only exists to die, and usually it's someone deemed expendable, except why the hell are the same kinds of people constantly treated as such? A good litmus test for if a character falls into Yikes Death Territory is if they are not treated as "whole people" in-narrative and work closer to Macguffins. So i don't doubt there are lots of sour grapes about Fitzroy and frankly, it's for good reason.

BAS managed to make her death worse--basically, to double down on, "This character only exists to elevate another character" (already gross) "and it's a black woman sacrificing her life for a white woman's in the most hackneyed way possible".

As to how well it worked with BioShock 2's timeline... first thing BioShock 2 does is break the timeline. I'm talking about the very first second: in Bioshock 1, there were no Big Daddies on NYE in 1958. Big Daddies were explicitly developed in response to the civil war (BS1, Dr. Yi Suchong, "Protecting Little Ones"). The civil war began on January 1, 1959 (BS1, Diane McClintock, "New Years Eve Alone"). So there is literally no way to resolve BS1 and BS2--they're at odds about one of their most important plot points.

If you have to make a decision between the two, I believe that BioShock 1's timing makes the most sense--until there's civil unrest, why would you a) need a big tank man or b) have sufficient corpses for ADAM recycling or c) have enough corpses guaranteed to contain ADAM or d) need to recycle ADAM from corpses at all?

Other failures of BioShock 2 canon include:

*Not understanding when Dr. Tenenbaum left Fontaine Industries (BS2, Gilbert Alexander, "Outlived Usefulness"). Tenenbaum leaves Fontaine Futuristics before Fontaine dies and the civil war begins (BS1, Dr. Suchong, "New Employers"; another possible connection for time and place might be "Fontaine's Breakup" by a paparazzi--might herald Tenenbaum's escape) and thus necessarily before the creation of Big Daddies. This is a rare case where we have a date: Fontaine dies on Friday, September 12, 1958. So whenever Dr. Tenenbaum left, it was before Fontaine Futuristics was nationalized, and thus before September 12.

*Writing Just the Worst Andrew Ryan in such a way that it was clear the writer only had a Cliffs Notes idea of what Objectivism is. Just. Gets my goddamn goat every time. I'd go off on it but I've already talked enough about shit that doesn't matter.

*J/K here's some bullshit: BS2's Andrew Ryan doesn't know what the chain of industry is. It's a great force outside of people that they pull on; the links are not the people unless you want collectivist imagery. The "weakest links" commentary might make sense out of Sofia Lamb's mouth, but not Andrew Ryan's (BS2, "The Great Chain Rattles").

*Eleanor as a Big Sister dragging Delta's corpse into a Vita-Chamber in full Big Sister get-up despite the implicit suggestion that she first dresses as such at the end of the game. (Admittedly, this one could be argued in other directions, but it confused me on my initial playthrough. "You mean you could leave this whole time??? What do you need me for?")

My point isn't that BioShock 2 should be hated, but that if you're going to pick canon as a reason to hate it... I mean, Bioshock 2's broken ass is exactly why Burial at Sea was screwed. BS2 is directly contradictory in multiple ways that break with BioShock 1 on bedrock levels. It makes far more sense to me that we can look at BioShock 2 as being completely divorced from both BioShocks 1 and Infinite; i don't think Creative Director Ken Levine was a fan (i vaguely recall seeing a quote from him like, "i wouldn't have done it that way..." but take this with a grain of salt. I'd look for it but I'm tired now).

Also, half of Burial at Sea's point was that it is an alternate dimension, so you can do anything you want there, technically.

On the whole, I think what happened was that the BAS story was already not any good, so the only part that really sticks with people is the worst elements of BioShock Infinite. Lots of great imagery, animation, and gameplay... but uh, Fitzroy elements uniquely and most definitely bad.

Hello, friends!

In spite of the advice of three Tumblr people, and - unbelievably - one random guy in a coffeeshop who overheard me talking to someone else about this, I played Burial at Sea.

And, well, yeah. You were all right. Guess I'm glad I played it once, but I'll never play it again. The sneaking element in Part II was a fun aspect, at least. No shade to those who enjoy it - it just ain't the game for me.

But I have a quick question for the BioShock tumblr; I'm not well-versed in BioShock lore, so bear with me, but can someone tell me how BaS contradicts the canon events of BioShock 1 and 2? I think I know why, but I'd like to wrap my head around it with people who know more than me.

Spoilers for all games under cut.

One of the main arguments against BaS was that it goes against established canon. Was this because of BaS!Atlas/Fontaine not knowing much about BaS!Jack? Because I was under the impression from the first game that Fontaine's whole schtik was that he was the person who single-handedly planned Jack's existence more or less. I was working under the assumption that Suchong and Tenenbaum worked with Fontaine on Jack, which is also how Fontaine knew about the 'Code Yellow' activation phrase about halfway through BioShock 1. Am I incorrect, or is this the contradiction? Or is there something else I'm missing?

Also I keep hearing about how BaS goes against 2 entirely, but I'm not entirely certain why. I googled it, and the answer seems to boil down to the bond between the Big Daddy and the Little Sister, and how Elizabeth was in Rapture two weeks after the NYE party where Delta was killed. But I can't get an actual, concrete answer that I fully understand - I was under the impression that the bond between Delta and Eleanor was of a different kind than the regular Big Daddy/Little Sister bond.

Thanks in advance. <3

[aquitainequeen]

The Sandman banner!!!

[chezzywezzy]

Yandere Big Daddy (1/4)

Word count ; 4.0k

*Edited.

*Dedicated to @sweetpotato-97.

Andrew Ryan slammed his hands into the wooden table. “The splices are destroying all of our hard work. Ms. Tenenbaum can only do so much to preserve the little sisters! All of you must get off your lazy arses and come up with a solution to this.”

Silence fell over the board room. Nobody was able to meet the man’s furious gaze. Sitting across from me was Dr. Gilbert Alexander, who was just as baffled by the situation. We were partners in this expedition to mine ADAM and gather more resources for Rapture, but with the surplus of splices showing up because of it, we were brainstorming how to fight back.

The little sisters were helpless in the situation. Human soldiers weren’t obedient enough to serve as a solution either.

There had to be a way to graft human strength and the little sister’s obedience into one. Perhaps a… Big Daddy for the little sisters.

I flipped a page on my notebook and began scribbling furiously. I felt everyone’s gaze watch me with intrigue, but I did not yield. I first drew a compare and contrast of the two species. I then pondered Dr. Yi Suchong’s abilities as a psychologist. Often, he ranted about conditioning, and that would most likely serve as a large part in the potential protector.

“Dr. L/n. What are you so frivolously writing about?”

I clicked my tongue in annoyance. “Shut up. I’m thinking.”

I heard his disdained sigh, but most of my coworkers were used to my rudeness. It was never my intention to be mean or cold; I just hated when people disrupted my thought processes.

Going back to the clipboard, I wrote the word ‘VOLUNTEERS’ in bold letters and circled it. I paused a moment. Humans were mammals. With what I was conjuring, I wanted it so that humans were mammals but not so much humans. 

Rapture was deep within the ocean; perhaps conditioning them to forget their own speech and communicate via whale noises would serve them well in the environment. Satisfied, I drew a line from the ‘VOLUNTEERS’ and wrote ‘STEP 1 : ANIMAL (WHALE?) NOISES’.

Humans were physically vulnerable to the splicers. They would need some sort of armor that aided them in their ocean exploration but also had a fighting function. Perhaps… a drill. That would help mine ADAM, too.

I sloppily drew what my mind envisioned. A diver suit, except one hand was replaced with a functioning drill. The diver head would be large and communication would serve through that. There would be some sort of speaker while there could be colorful lights to indicate mood changes and aggression.

I thought back to my days on land, where there were street lights. Those colors would do quite nicely.

I felt someone hovering behind me. Most likely my boss, Mr. Ryan. But I paid him no heed.

I would also have to graft the human skin in with the diver suit so that the suit would function properly. As a skilled surgeon, even I was unsure of how to do the procedure thus far. But this was a brainstorming session, so I didn’t have to fill every hole quite yet.

All of my thoughts were wishful thinking, but after that, Yi Suchong would help me further by conducting conditioning with the ‘Big Daddies’ with their designated little sisters.

“Done,” I suddenly announced.

Mr. Ryan’s arm reached over my shoulder and snatched my clipboard. I leaned against the chair with a satisfied smirk, observing as he read my notes. I noticed his eyebrows raise in surprise; like usual, he had that look of ‘why didn’t I think of that myself?’ 

All of my coworkers were staring at me. As though I was going to explain it to their small, insane heads. I would, maybe, but only after receiving the green light form my boss.

“This is… brilliant. Genius. This is exactly what we need,” he announced. “L/n, a raise is due for you. Immediately. Besides that, we have no time to waste. Dr. Suchong, your job is to collect ‘volunteers’ from mental asylums and prisoners. Further details will be given when Dr. L/n and I plan further and the rest of you are needed. Meeting dismissed. L/n, come with me to discuss further.”

I rose from my seat, snatching the clipboard back. I collected my things and shoved them in my bag. Dr. Alexander and Ms. Tenenbaum bid me a farewell, but I ignored them, incredibly zoned in on the possibilities of the Big Daddy. ‘Big Daddy’ was the name I was drawn to. It made sense but was also rather catchy.

I followed Mr. Ryan out. We walked down the checkerboard floors until we arrived at the end of the hall. He opened the door to his office for me. He closed the door behind him and we sat across from each other. I placed my clipboard on the desk and flattened my uniform.

He slid the clipboard closer to him. With a pen, he pointed to ‘STEP 1 : ANIMAL (WHALE?) NOISES’ “Explain the thought process. Why this? Why not immediate grafting?”

“It’s unsafe to not condition the volunteers first. They would fight back because they are still in the mindset of being a human. Sound is one of the easiest ways to condition something. Even I know of Pavlov and his dog. But, when they have transformed, they’ll also need a form of communication with one another. That made me immediately think of whales, which are also mammals. Plus… Rapture’s in the ocean. It makes sense for camouflage.”

He nodded along. “Genius. I could not have chosen a better scientist to bring to Rapture. Now… how would the drill be used?”

“With chemical or physical cues. Although I don’t have the details down, I’m thinking that the light will go red and signal the brain to signal the arm to start drilling.”

“That makes sense. But… is that engineeringly possible, is the question.”

I shook my head and sat back in my chair. “Are you doubting me, Ryan?”

He chuckled, also sitting back in his seat. “I suppose you’re right. If your beautiful mind can think this up, you can engineer it. I’m assuming you’ll be assigning most of this work to Dr. Alexander, Steinman, and Suchong?”

“Yes. I want to be able to monitor the situation. Although they aren’t as capable and intelligent, they’re good workers,” I conceded. “In the meantime, I must be going.” I rose to my feet.

“But I haven’t dismissed you. We’re not done talking.”

“I’m dismissing myself. We’re done talking. I must rent a submarine at once to fetch authentic whale calls and also begin engineering the suits.”

“You’re my best worker, L/n. Go right ahead. Report in on how things are going as soon as you return from the expedition.”

“That’s your prerogative. I have better things to do than reporting to you, boss,” I replied playfully, opening the office door. 

He bid me a good-bye, but I didn’t reply. I knew he found it amusing, as I could hear him laughing from outside the door.

But I didn’t care what he found entertaining. I had work to do.

~~~

“Conditioning isn’t going as planned,” Suchong nervously informed. “Not only have most of the volunteers been resistant to remaining in the diving suits, they’re resistant to the vocal conditioning. Some of our volunteers have already bashed their heads in and have committed suicide.”

As we strolled down the lab, I observed the individual cells. They had sound-proof glass walls and inside in the corner was a speaker out of reach. Suchong’s point became obvious and I walked past several cells where blood was splattered agains the glass and a collapsed diving suit was hardly visible. As we walked past, there was an individual currently attempting to bash their head in.

With sudden alarm, I motioned to the volunteer. “Stop them this instant!”

Soldiers, hearing my demand, rushed down the corridor. I unlocked the door for them in the meanwhile. I dashed into the room and pressed the off button for the echoing whale noises. The speaker fell deaf, but the volunteer continued trying to kill themselves. Glass was sprawled across the ground, and when the guard pulled the volunteer away, there was blood dripping down the wall.

I stepped in front of the volunteer. I noticed that it was a man. He had stubble that had consumed most of his jaw and neck, and his face was thinning. His skin was an unhealthy pale yellow and he had darkness under his eyes. Despite his zombie-like appearance, he still had enough energy to spit blood at my face spitefully.

I didn’t flinch. Instead, I let it drop to the ground as I took a tissue out to wipe it away. “How unfortunate. Guards, Suchong, come along.”

I began marching out of the room. Despite the man’s attempt to escape, He was dragged against his will. We marched into the private lab where Steinman did most of work. Blood was splattered agains the table from another one of his unsuccessful surgeries. But, regardless, I had the man strapped to the table, despite his screams of agony.

I grabbed a syringe and unscrewed the diving helmet. I then inserted the syringe into his neck and anesthetized him. Once the man was passed out, I sternly turned my attention to the guards. “All of you should be preventing this from happening. I demand that you begin instating handcuffs to their bed so that this doesn’t happen again.” I eyed the various blood stains on their uniforms. “Also… call a janitor for Christ’s sake! Now, get the hell out of here instead of wasting more time!” I boomed.

Shakily, the guards did as told and left me and Suchong by ourselves. I let out a sigh, rubbing my forehead. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I was trying to get the situation under control —“

“Lies! You were scared to receive the consequences of your failure,” I snapped. “Regardless, though, I have no time to be reprimanding a failure of a man like you.”

He was shaking in his boots. I liked that. I like having power over my coworkers. I liked knowing I could treat them however I wanted without consequences because I was second only to Ryan himself. I grabbed a damp cloth and began wiping the unconscious volunteer’s forehead.

“How convincing of an actor are you, Suchong?”

“An - an actor? Well, I’m a psychologist for a reason —“

“A failing one. At the bare minimum you can feign pity, can you not?”

“Y - yes, I suppose I can…”

“Good. Now, bring this man’s information. Clearly, animalistic conditioning still needs its human traits.”

“May I ask —“

“No. His information. Now.”

Suchong scurried out of the lab with his tail behind his legs. I smirked, but inevitably began unseating the man. I pulled it off from his feet and dragged the heavy metal suit to the corner. I planned to personally fix it.

A few minutes later, Suchong returned with a clipboard. I snatched it from him, reading its contents

NAME : Martín Baudelaire

ETHNICITY : French

AGE : 27

BIRTH DATE : August 3rd

OCCUPATION : Asylum Seeker

All the rest was absolutely useless. I stared Suchong down. “Look at me.” He reluctantly did, so scared out of his boots that he struggled to maintain eye contact. “What we are going to do is use what you psychologists call manipulation.

“We have to ease them into it. The volunteers are scared. Unsure. Desperate for freedom. Your job is to befriend them and pretend that you’re against this whole institution and you’re working for their freedom. But in order to do so, they have to ‘pretend’ to be progressing in the grafting. They’ll be under our control before they know it. They’ll be much more susceptible to the conditioning if they think they need to do it.”

He nodded. “I’m not sure why I didn’t think of that sooner…”

“It’s because you’re an idiot, Suchong. And that’s why I, in order to prevent as much failure as possible, will be closely working with this man -“ I scanned the clipboard once more. “ Martín Baudelaire. Asylum seeker and… feisty French man.”

He stared at me expectantly when I fell silent. I tilted my head and eyed him up and down. “Well?” I suddenly shouted. “Get to it before I fire you, you worthless bum!”

“Would you kindly stop talking to me that way?” he finally snapped, his fists balling up in anger.

“I’ll stop scolding you when you start being competent, Suchong! You’re the one who let our precious volunteers kill themselves while you just sat on the sidelines eating popcorn! Take some responsibility, you twat!”

“Stop acting like you’re better than me. Stop pretending that you have power. You can’t do shit —“

“Oh, yeah? So you’re telling me that if I sauntered into Ryan’s office and informed him that your sector of your volunteers that you were in charge of had volunteers killing themselves left and right with no solution for the past week without telling anyone, Ryan wouldn’t fire you on the spot?” I seethed, stepping toward him and jutting my finger against his lab-coated chest.

He was left speechless. He knew I was right, and there was nothing he could do about it.

“I’m being fucking forgiving. Now get your sorry are out of here and be productive. Do your fucking job, Suchong.”

He bowed his head. “…Fine.”

He turned on his heel and exited the laboratory. My glare followed him, but the moment he left, my anger dissipated into a defined annoyance. “…Bloody idiots. The whole lot of them. I swear, I have to do everything myself around here.”

I wandered back over to Mr. Baudelaire. I stripped him of his clothes and wiped away all of the blood, stench, and dried pee. For the time being, I realized that I would have to insert a pocket for urination; alas, for the first time, I had overlooked something. But it’s not like anyone else on staff remembered that human beings urinate. And besides, even I wasn’t perfect.

Afterwards, I prepared a dish of food and drinks. It was simple, as the splices had infiltrated most of Rapture’s food supply, and the rest was hoarded by the first class. I found it a tad annoying, since at the end of the day, I was working my ass off for Rapture to be, first and foremost, sustainable, but every business cycle had its crashes.

I checked my watch. I hadn’t used a large dosage, so he should be waking up in a minute. In the meanwhile, I bandaged his face wounds and prepared to be a manipulative liar for the sake of science. I conjured up as guilty of an expression as I could, pawing at his various bruises. I almost did feel bad. I knew more than most people how fragile the human flesh was.

He began to stir under my touch. My fingers ghosted over his locked up wrist. This volunteer was too thin; it made me make a mental note to scold Suchong and Alexander about feeding the volunteers more regularly. God forgive the subjects starve before completing even the first stage of transition.

“Wh…” he groaned.

I pulled away, ready to put on a show.

His eyes fluttered open. I had to say, the man was rather handsome. If we met under any other circumstances, I would have offered to buy him a drink. What, with his sharp jawline and charming stubble…

“You.”

I was brought back to reality, blinking, and meeting his furious glare. I cleared my throat. “I hope you are feeling better. I… hate seeing what they’re doing here, really,” I started.

His eyes flashed with surprise. But, his fury quickly returned, and he tried spitting at my face. But due to the incline of the chair, it only dribbled over his chin. I sighed, grabbing a tissue from my pocket to wipe it. “Fuck you,” he said with a very thick French accent. “If you hate what they’re doing, you would not be here.”

I frowned. “You’re wrong, actually. I’m being forced to work here. They’re holding my child hostage.”

“Hos…tage?”

“It means that they’re keeping me here, just like you,” I spoke slowly, enunciating my words.

His entire expression changed to a soft, sympathetic frown. “How… do I know you are not liar?”

I bit my lip. Struck with an idea, I pulled up my sleeve, revealing my many childhood scars. “They hurt me and my child. I promise… I do not want to be here.”

He licked his lips, and that’s when I realized I shouldn’t be laying it on too thick. I had to reinforce my words with kindness. I reached over to the tin table and held out a glass of water. His eyes were trained to the glass thirstily. I held it to his parched lips and slowly let him down the entire glass. I took the glass away, even though his lips followed in hope of soaking up every last drop.

“Do you want more?”

“Non… Why am I here?”

I gulped, casting my gaze away. “Well, you are in Rapture. A city in the ocean. Under the ocean are plants and energy called ADAM. There are also monsters made of ADAM. You are here to save the city from the monsters by becoming a ‘Big Daddy.’ Your job will be to protect little girls filled with ADAM from the monsters. It is a good cause, but bad people are the rulers.”

He nodded, understanding. “Is your… child filled with ADAM?”

“Yes. Maybe, if you live long enough, you will meet her,” I heaved. I grabbed a cracker and pushed it to his lips. He chomped down eagerly, not needing to ask for me to know he wanted more. I was aware that what they were being fed during stage one was raw fish and barnicals, just like real whales do; this was originally strategized by me, as it helps with adapting to life outside of Rapture and in the ocean. “I… have taken you here. Because I want to help you and everyone be free.”

His eyes widened, and tears glided down his cheeks. Gently, I wiped them away, sending him a reassuring smile. God damn, I was a good actor. I just made a grown man cry. “How?”

“I hate to say this… but you will have to fake it and listen. Only by fake-becoming stage one, speaking only with whale sounds, will you get the chance to be free. When they see you have become good they will take you deep in Rapture, where I can help set you and others free.”

“Thank you. But what about your child?”

“I… am not sure. I will try and escape with her when I set you free. We can go together.”

A ghost of a smile crossed his lips. “Merci.”

“De rien,” I replied cheekily.

His eyes widened, and he began to shake his hands excitedly. “Pouvez-vous Parker Français?”

“Oui. Un peu.” I went over to his suit. “I will leave you here for a while. I must fix your suit. The assholes did not make a place to pee.”

He nodded eagerly. “…Merci.”

I sent him one last smile as I pulled his suit over to the door. “De rien, Martín.”

~~~

Alexander, Suchong, and I strolled down the hallway. Even over the course of the week, under my strict supervision, suicides have been minimized and the lab cells were far cleaner. The volunteers under scrutiny were also calmer. I had a feeling that Suchong had a ‘thank you for being so genius’ bubbling in his throat, as the use of manipulation had greatly depleted any rebellious actions.

Alexander was intently staring at the charts on his clipboard. “There’s progress. The majority of the volunteers have already been caught mimicking the whale noises, and there’s a spike in imitation during meal times. Guards have also reported less screaming and overall disruptions.”

“Are there any notable outliers?” I inquired, clasping my hands together behind my back, shoes clacking against the floor.

He flipped over his pages. “Oh - yes, actually. First is a MeiLi Lü, who was actually one of the patients who attempted suicide. I know there’s one other… Ah, yes, Martín Baudelaire. If I recall, he’s the volunteer that you’ve personally taken under your wing?”

A smirk threatened to befall my features. “Yes. I’m not surprised. The volunteer was rather receptive toward me. This, boys, is how you get work done.”

Alexander chuckled, but I could feel Suchong staring me down angrily. I feigned innocence, clicking my tongue as I glanced over those in the cells.

“Oh - now that I see it, yes… You might want to check up on Mr. Baudelaire. Over the last day or so, there has been no reported whale imitations.”

I nodded. "Precisely what I came here to do. Also, I want to make a change to the exposure.” They were silent, waiting for me to go on. “Instead of custom whale noises, I want the speakers to be hooked up to the one on their right. That way, they are in fact, conditioning one another. That way, in the future, the they have achieved their Big Daddy form, they will recognize their coworkers easily.”

I stopped in front of Baudelaire’s chamber. I peered at the two men expectantly over my shoulder. “Well? Chop chop. I want this to be instated by the hour. Understood?”

“Y - yes ma’am,” Suchong squeaked, clearly fearing for whether I lost my temper. 

Alexander gave him a peculiar stare while nodding. “Genius as always, L/n. We’ll get right to it. Good-bye.”

I turned away and took my key out of my pocket. I noticed that the volunteer rose to his feet. Even through the sound-proof glass, I could hear him bellowing out mimicked whale noises. I unlocked the door and entered. I forced an exhalation as I approached the soon-to-be Big Daddy.

“Martín. There is something I must tell you.”

He halted his whale noises expectantly. “Quelle absurdité?” his muffled voice answered.

“They are going to start recording inside here,” I fibbed, knowing damn well we already have been since the beginning. “It means I cannot talk to you anymore without being strange and getting in trouble.”

Even within the large metal diving suit, his shoulders slouched, causing a creak of the metal nuggets. “Lorsque?”

“In under an hour,” I said, bowing my head. With a groan of metal, he raised the metal arm and sympathetically patted my head. The metal arm trailed past my head to my arms, where he came to a screeching halt. 

“C’est bon. Je te… fais confiance.”

As badly as I wanted to grin pridefully for successfully persuading my volunteer, I instead let my body sink deeper in feigned despair. Of course he trusted me. How could he not? I had come up with such a sad lie that nobody, not even a man who didn’t quite grasp English perfectly, could see through it. 

“Promise…”

“Yes?” I looked up, meeting the foggy black glass of the diver helmet. 

“Vous me libérerez. N’oubliez pas. We will… be free, you and me.”

I smiled, tilting my head, and letting my hand reside on his large metal one. “Of course, Martín Baudelaire. Je n’oublierai pas.” I disturbed the moment, stepping away and checking my watch. “I have to go. I cannot look strange. I will come see you soon. But remember, become the whale.”

The big metal helmet nodded, and he imitated the noises, just for me. I felt a sick satisfaction from his thoughtless obedience. This was going a lot better than I could have ever anticipated. 

Martín Baudelaire, you were going to be my first successful Big Daddy.