#doubt it but who knows
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "šš¼šš¼ā" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) āwhy didn't he use š«µš¼?ā didn't exist yet. āwhy didn't he use š?ā dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. šš¼ is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent šš¼šš¼ as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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Happy 2 Years of Kingdom Hearts 4 trailer was revealed
#my art#kingdom hearts#kingdom hearts 3 remind#kingdom hearts 4#Yozora#Sora#happy 2 years of waiting for absolutely nothing#who knows maybe later today we'll get something#nah i doubt it#anyways yaaay I finally drew YOZORA normally!!!!!#i like him he's so cool#1am posting oohhhhhaaa i have a headache goodnight y'all#also the link in the description directs it to twitter version if curious#bue bye š„
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makes me a little sad when star trek ignores IDIC. like. vulcans are logical. that is true. But 'logical', for vulcans, does not amount to 'without compassion,' and it definitely doesn't amount to 'racial superiority.' Belief in 'infinite diversity in infinite combinations' should NOT result in the weird racist/speciest stuff we're getting in some of the newer treks. It does make sense that some vulcans are discriminatory. They're still flawed. But that should not be common or expected, like it seems to be in SNW. If it is, then it's a race of hypocrites, which. doesn't seem very true to Star Trek's message.
I think TOS Spock does a pretty good job of embodying this. Not always, it was the 60s, after all, but mostly. He was often trying to find non-violent routes, and get by without killing - even if they were in danger or had already been attacked. (See: the mugato, and the horta (until Kirk was the one in danger, lmao. t'hy'la > IDIC), the Gorn ship). Kirk, in his eulogy, calls him the most human soul he's ever known, and I've always read that as Kirk calling out Spock's overwhelming compassion.
It's just so much more interesting when Vulcans get to be radically compassionate. I want them to believe that everything and everyone has value. I want them to respect all ways of being. I want them to find ways for even very non-humanoid aliens to exist unfettered in society. I want them to see hybrids and think that it's amazing. Also, like, disability rep. I want Vulcans to have The Most Accessible Planet and available resources because they want everyone to feel accepted and valued. It makes for better characters and more interesting stories.
#tbh feels like some weird racist/misogynistic enlightenment-era philosophy coming through when they do that. y'know?#like 'oooh if you're fully logical you're BETTER than those who have EMOTIONS like WOMEN do'.#and the paramount execs are eating it up like 'yesss logic means being an ASS to people LESS LOGICAL than you!'.#like really guys. c'mon#like it makes sense in TAS that spock would get bullied by some kids. kids bully. that's common. makes sense that even vulcan kids bully#but if ADULTS are OFTEN doubting spock because he's half-human? that just kinda sucks. if i may it's even illogical#IDIC for me but not for thee type thing.#i think that being discriminatory should be a source of shame on a vulcan's house.#i think vulcans should adore learning about other cultures#star trek#vulcan#star trek vulcan#vulcans#vulcan culture#spock#star trek tos#tos#star trek the original series#sorry for my lack of mention of other major vulcan characters. I am so so behind in my star trek watching.#from what i've heard tuvok is also a good example. i know next to nothing about t'pol so couldn't say for her.
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the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesnāt feel like youāve grown at all! times when you canāt really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably shouldāve). but thatās also kind of the best thing, because thatās the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, itās not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just arenāt for you and certain people arenāt your people, and thatās okay. thatās human. itās okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.
#and that goes for every type of growth#backstory of this post:#after I came back after a few months of doing my international internship I felt so much more confident#it was easier making friends and walking up to people#i took more chances#and generally just heard it a lot from those around me who kept telling me how much iād changed#this was further supported by my first office job that went pretty well#but then came my grad internship. and while i love the work and have met some great people I noticed it was difficult again#there was one office lunch where no one spoke to me at all! it was my first week and I didnāt know what to say#if i should even say anything#we were all sitting at the same table#not one person even glanced my way#it made me doubt myself; i was doing so well before#was that even real? why canāt I just speak up? this is not the way to connect with people#especially in my first week!#but you know what#i was still doing well. i just had to factor in the fact that these were all middle aged people talking about reality shows i didnāt watch#and bikes i knew nothing about#as well as people who knew i was the new intern yet didnāt speak to me at all even though Iād introduced myself to them all individually#and even so#people I couldnāt really talk to about MY interests outside of work either#my point being:#itās okay to not feel a connection with everyone you meet#itās okay to fall back into old habits even though youāve developed new ones#it will never unravel the process youāve made and the connections youāve built#youāre doing fine#after this internship I will surround myself with people who reaffirm that belief#growth in the self#self love#positivity
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Ideology of Exceptionalism and Gravity Falls; meta and character analysis
I had a whole ago read a post by @icanlife that had a quote by Alex Hirsch on Ford's greatest flaw, and wanted to explore what the flaw is, which is the ideology of exceptionalism; in the exploration, Iāll touch on what it is and how it is used in abusive relationships and cults, as well as how it drives multiple Gravity Falls characters and consequently how it impacts relationships between these characters, and how the show ultimately refutes exceptionalism.
Quick note here; I am not in any way, shape or form a psychologist nor have any formal training in psychology; this is written from my own experiences with this ideology and my own forays into psychology and trauma-informed learning. It is also written with a loose understanding that is likely not broad enough to cover all references to cults, extremist groups and abusive relationships.Ā
The Ideology of ExceptionalismĀ
First of all, we have to get through a drier bit, which isā¦ what is the ideology of exceptionalism and how does it arise? Might be fairly obvious, but it is the belief that you are, or belong to, a group of exceptional people, thus more important and worth more than anyone else; ie, those who don't qualify as 'exceptional'. It is often a subconsciously learned ideology. Now, what qualifies one as exceptional can be extremely varied; generally it revolves around something that provides some form of privilege. Thus, it might be, as the main exceptionalist idea in Gravity Falls, 'intelligence', or power, or it can be such things as attractiveness, quantity of money one has, species, nationality, or skin colour and ancestral heritage. The ideology of exceptionalism, being by nature hierarchical, devalues, and at its worst, openly and violently dehumanizes those who do not qualify as exceptional.Ā
For why exceptionalism occurs is an extremely broad topic, but I've personally found that, for exceptionalism revolving around intelligence, it's a result of a poor sense of self-worth, and having one's self-worth tied to what makes one exceptional. Poor self-worth itself (again, broadly) is a result of childhood trauma from a lack of positive affirmation and unfulfillment of the emotional needs of the child. Meanwhile, self-worth becoming tied to the quality of exceptionalism generally is a result of when positive affirmation was pretty much solely provided around their 'exceptionalism', especially when provided derogatory commentary, or a blatant example of how they would be treated if they aren't 'exceptional'. As a result of the general lack of affirmation, self-worth then becomes often solely reliant on the qualities of exceptionalism, as that is the only way for the child (and later, adult) to get affirmation of their worth, as well as out of fear of being ānot worth anythingā like the examples of ānon-exceptionalā people they have been given.Ā
This is especially likely to occur when the child is a social outcast; the adoption of the hierarchical ideology of exceptionalism, and the devaluation/dehumanization of others often occurs subconsciously as an avoidance/minimization tactic from pain. This is to say, the child, and later the adult (if healthy self-worth is not established) goes 'it doesn't matter what the non-exceptional people say or if they accept me since I matter more than them because of my exceptionality'. It can even be taken further, that being shunned is part of one's exceptionalism, and becomes part of the qualifier of being exceptional. For instance, 'they just can't understand because they aren't exceptional and that's just a part of being exceptional'.Ā This idea also neatly tailors into the part of the concept of being better then others means you are separate from others; this can be taken that someone who is special, needs to be alone to be truly special.
Obviously, exceptionalism is not a healthy coping mechanism for poor self-worth, as often such people constantly feel the need to prove and show off their exceptionalism to gain that affirmation and avoid rejection, which is stressful. As well, it often negatively impacts their relationships with other people as a result of the arrogance of believing that they are better than most others, or even deliberate sabotage due to their arrogance. This occurs as they flatten the complexity of human experience to black-and-white hierarchical categories of exceptional/not-exceptional through constant judgement of those they meet, and often refuse to engage with people who don't belong to their 'exceptionality', or even people they simply don't like, even if they technically qualify. Generally, those that they do like or have close relationships with, often due to being similar, are automatically labelled as 'exceptional'. Those judged as āexceptionalā also become privy to the open judgements of ānon-exceptionalā others, out of a subconscious belief by the exceptionalist that the other believes similarly; something that may strain their relationship if the other doesnāt ascribe to exceptionalism. This all culminates in the exceptionalist being blind or even adverse to the diversity of experiences, which makes it difficult to create relationships and community outside of echo chambers of their own beliefs (if they can even find this), and subsequently, these people are often isolated and have very few to no close relationships with people.Ā
However, all humans require connections with other people, relationships where one can rely on others emotionally and physically if needed and feel accepted; they also require to feel like they are worth something, that their life has meaning. Lacking meaningful connections and having a crippled sense of self-worth, a deep yearning hole is left in these people. Exceptionalism, especially as it is a narrative constantly pushed by Western society as it validates hierarchies, is then employed as a (often subconscious) trauma response to assuage this yearning hole, with arrogance and denial. And depending on the circumstances, it can be a very strong and definitive trauma response for people.
This isolation and lack of self-worth is catnip to abusive relationships, including cults and extremist groups. These types of relationships often heavily rely on isolating their victims or pulling them into echo chambers of solely the abuserās rhetoric, to redefine what is healthy through gaslighting; as the exceptionalists are already isolated, this makes them extremely susceptible. They also often provide these people affirmation, and in these cases especially about their exceptionalism, thus confirming their self-worth, their 'specialness', while also providing them the connection they have been lacking, either through the cult community or through the abuserās own presence. These emotional needs, which havenāt been met in a long time, if ever, begin to be fulfilled; something that abusive relationships and cults hinge on, rather than any form of logic.
Ideology of Exceptionalism and Gravity Falls
The main characters within Gravity Falls which are heavily ascribed to exceptionalism would be both Ford and Bill; this characterization deeply impacts the story and their relationships with others (technically the Northwest are another case regarding wealth, but less directly impact the storyline and thus tangential; Gideon also is an example, but as a mirror of Bill). With each of these characters Iāll go into detail within their sections on the way they began to ascribe to exceptionalism, and how it plays out later in their relationships; I will first begin with Ford, then move to Bill. Then, to cap it off, Iāll go into the characterization of Stan and the way Gravity Falls refutes exceptionalism.Ā
Ford and Exceptionalism
Firstly, the quote from Alex Hirsch that kicked this whole baby off, as mentioned previously;Ā
āFord sees Dipper as someone whoās special like himself. Thatās Fordās great flaw, his arrogance is he believes that thereās special people, and everyone else. That human attachments are actually weaknesses. And the song and dance that heās giving Dipper right now, is the song and dance that he gave McGucket, back when they were youngerā¦ āYou and me are different, weāre better than everyone else. We have a path that no one else can understand, and only us can do this.ā Itās a very seductive idea for Dipperā¦ Dipper is a smart kid, but Fordās projecting. Ford loves Dipper because he sees someone whoāll tell him āyesā to everything. Whoāll never challenge him, whoāll do a really insane dangerous mission.ā
Very blatantly Alex Hirsch calls Ford out on his arrogance in the belief that he is special, in his belief in the 'lone hero' complex, in his belief in exceptionalism. And really, it should be no surprise that Ford does so, considering the way he's depicted as a social outcast as a child (other than Stan), and the way his parents have been clearly shown to be not particularly emotionally supportive (āIām not impressedā); they don't provide positive affirmation except for his intelligence (mostly due to the possibility of money making through itā¦), while also actively comparing him to Stan who is derogatorily ānot-exceptionalā, and āworth lessā. This all sets Fordās self-worth up to be fragile, and other than Stan who wholeheartedly accepts him, he is isolated and invalidated; plus, the only other validation he receives is around his intelligence. All very classically fitting the profile for exceptionalism.
Image id: Stand and Ford when they were children, both clearly enjoying each other's company.
Fordās belief in his exceptionalism catalyzes after the shattering of his and Stanās relationship. Previously the twins are shown to do everything together, having a very close caring relationship; something unlikely if Ford thought he was better than Stan. Also, when Ford is talked to about his opportunities, Ford looks uncomfortable at the way they talk about Stan as inferior, compared to how he himself is being praised; but in the offer heās simultaneously finally being validated, heās being told heās someone worth something, and heās going to be someone worth something after this. And then the science fair incident occurs, and Ford loses that validation from his parents, from the judges and a future of more validation; after being promised validation and acceptance, it slips through his fingers. And in his anger of being denied that, it becomes easy to begin to slip subconsciously into the rhetoric the others have been feeding him; that heās exceptional, that Stan isnāt, and he deserved to be recognized for his worth. So he breaks the relationship with the only person who accepted and validated him for who he is. With that loss of previous support, Ford becomes then deeply obsessed with proving his exceptionalism to the world to assuage that fragile self-worth, to become accepted, or even better, revered, confirming that he is someone of worth, someone special, like he was promised.Ā
Fordās obsession also doubly functions as a way to alleviate his guilt over shattering their relationship; if heās exceptional as he believes, then heās within the right to respond the way he did, as heās worth more than Stan, he's better off alone, and he has a right to be angry over being denied that validation. As well, in much the same way as it is used as a way to alleviate his guilt over the end of their relationship, it is also likely used in a way to minimize the pain of being ostracized (although not directly depicted); afterall, Fordās keenly aware and insecure about his social ineptitude and his six fingers as things that make him different from other people, case in point with his experience visiting Lazy Susans Diner. Thus it wouldnāt be unsurprising if he uses the idea of being worth more than those who ostracize him to imply it ādoesnāt matterā what they think. His ostracization by nature keeps him from generally forming close relationships, with the exception of Fiddleford (who much like him, is socially outcast, and intelligent) during his university days. As a result, he's isolated and acutely lonely, having lost Stan.
Image id: One of the missing Journal 3 pages in TBOB, detailing Ford's botched social interaction in Lazy Susans Diner. In the background is the print of his six-fingered hand.
In his obsession over being acknowledged, Ford, like many others who believe in exceptionalism, identifies strongly with the causes of his ostracization (his intelligence, his six-fingeredness) as part of, or wholly, makes him exceptional. It is obvious through his choice of study; with the grant he has been gifted, he chooses to revolve his work around the weird, the outcast, something that you see Ford gravitate towards being an outcast and deemed 'weird' himself (which in Journal 3 he openly talks about). Something that can be, much like him, framed as 'exceptional'. His work is even recorded in a journal that Ford deliberately chooses to put his six-fingered hand on the cover of. Intertwined with the way it becomes adopted into the idea of exceptionalism, is the keen loneliness from his ostracization and a deep desire to be accepted and a wish to find a community of other weird people.
Image id: Two pages from journal 3, labelled 'Myself', in which Ford is open about being weird, and a social outcast, while also noting his ambitions and that 'Gravity Falls, [is] the place that I fit in.'
Ford and Bill
All of this culminates in Ford becoming an incredibly easy target to manipulate by Bill. Heās desperate to be acknowledged (and thus accepted) by an authority figure so that his belief in exceptionalism is justified and his self-worth confirmed. And he knows heās intelligent, that he's exceptional because people have told him so, but he just needs to prove it with something that shakes the world. And the grant is finally his second chance after the fair, but he's stuck, and the research is going nowhere, and he's in a town where he doesn't really know anyone and heās so terribly lonely. And sure, he clings to his exceptionalism but if he can't even prove it then is he really exceptional? Is he even worth anything like he thought he was? And what about what he's left behind, rejected, because of his exceptionalism?
And THEN he finds an incantation and he ignores the warnings because maybe, just maybe, this will be his break to get that acceptance/validation he has been chasing his whole life?Ā
And then it's better than that.Ā
A god, essentially, shows himself to him, an ultimate figure of authority. And he tells him that yes, he is special, heās worth more than other people, and Billās only showing himself to Ford because he is so much more intelligent than anyone else. Ford is suddenly getting his exceptionalism confirmed by a god of ancient knowledge, an immensely intelligent interdimensional being, and heās also showering him with affirmations, specifically affirmations around what Ford's fragile self-worth is based on. And even better, he's delighted by Ford's six-fingeredness; he's not put off at all, it even becomes his main nickname for Ford, just like it used to be for Stan all those years ago. On top of it all, Ford's own social ineptitude doesn't phase Bill, another thing Ford is self-conscious about; Bill's own social ineptitude as he's not human probably makes Ford feel comfortable, knowing that's not expected from him.
Through Bill, not only does Ford find someone who validates his self-worth through intelligence and even confirms to him that his weirdness is part and parcel of making him special, he also finds someone who he regularly (generally) is in contact with, who enjoys talking to him and even banters with him familiarly. Hell, Bill even deliberately goes out of his way (literally possessing a whole wack ton of rats, then dream karaoke) to celebrate his birthday with him; how long do you think Ford has simply skipped his birthday since he had no one to really celebrate it with? The loneliness, beneath his arrogance and belief in exceptionalism, is being fulfilled; for the first time since Ford was a teenager, he's fully accepted by someone, social awkwardness, six fingers, exceptionalism and all.Ā
Image id: One of the lost pages from Journal 3 in TBOB, the 'one thing led to another' page, with Bill and Ford singing karaoke and drinking together, both clearly enjoying themselves; Bill has an arm slung around Ford's shoulders.
So it's really no surprise at all that Ford fell for this, hook line and sinker. Hell, if I was in Ford's shoes I would fall for it just as hard. And I've seen a few posts floating around talking about how Bill is bad at manipulating, and no, he's not. He was able to pinpoint exactly what Ford wanted and needed, and provided that, was charismatic enough to provide that. Again, manipulation isn't about logic. It really isn't; it's about the emotional core in people, what people lack and what you can give them to slowly reel them in to sing your dance and song. And people will ignore vast swaths of red flags when you're finally being accepted, when you're finally getting your emotional needs met at least in some way or form. It's better than not having them met at all, such as previously. So Ford worshipping Bill is really not a surprise, especially as Bill deliberately stoked it.
All of this is part of why you see Alex Hirsch call Ford's belief in his exceptionalism his greatest flaw; because it allowed him to be very easily manipulated by Bill, and by its nature kept Ford isolated from others, evident by his arrogance in assuming he knows best and refusing to see other people who aren't as 'intelligent/weird' as him as worth getting to know, listen too and even reach out to ask help from, it's him believing he has to be the lone hero as someone whose 'special'. It's something that blinds him to the danger of his work around the weirdness of gravity falls because heās desperate to seek a place where he and his weirdness belong, and it's something that plays out in each and every relationship he has because it's something he clings to so deeply. It's what cost him his relationship with Stan, who previously accepted him completely, and, as he's disinclined to form new relationships and as Bill actively strokes his paranoia (Trust No Oneā¦), ultimately further increases the hold Bill has over him. It's only Fiddlefordās presence as he works with Ford that allows him some form of outside reference and reprieve from solely Billās influence, something that Bill resents deeply and is clearly jealous and angry about, even if Fiddleford is helping create the portal. And it's ultimately Fiddleford, once he was aware enough of what was happening, calls Ford out on it, seriously jeopardizing Bill's influence over Ford; but Ford is too invested in the portal, in chasing his own ambition and caught up in Billās manipulation to take him seriously, until the incident with the trial, and Ford beginning to hear other voices then Bill.
Fordās Exceptionalism and Wider Relationships
Now back to how it plays out in all Ford's relationships; we've already gone over it with Bill's influence, because it made him extremely easy to manipulate, and with his disregard of Stan in favor of validation of his exceptionalism. But Ford, as pointed out by Alex Hirsch, also exerts the ideology's seductive rhetoric to both Fiddleford and Dipper (who look up to Ford) in a similar way that Bill does with him (although there is a difference of it being used intentionally and maliciously, compared to subconsciously and earnestly, even if it is problematic). Ford, with his black-and-white view of exceptionalism, sees both Fiddleford and Dipper as people who are like him; 'exceptional', and so he treats them as such, and uses this rhetoric to coerce them into helping him.
For Fiddleford, the lure is how he can change the world, how he can be finally acknowledged if he helps Ford with the portal. And it works well; he willingly chooses to leave his own work and his wife and young son, to work with Ford. Much like Ford, Fiddleford himself is also a social outcast and regularly presumed less smart than he is, and heās got a chip on his shoulder to prove himself, to gain acknowledgement and recognition from the world at large. Although Fiddleford has a family which presumes heās not entirely lonely like Ford is, he also clearly has deep feelings for Ford, some which are hinted to be more than just āfriendlyā feelings; it is likely the combination of the lure of validation and spending time with Ford, a kindred spirit that accepts him and an old friend/crush, that causes him to agree (afterall, it was Ford who made Fiddleford feel accepted and choose to stay at Backupsmore). And Fiddlefordās not even considered a partner, but rather an assistant to Ford due to Ford's arrogance, and he still drops everything to go! Itās more about their relationship and connection rather than validation, but that doesnāt stop Ford from espousing exceptionalism. And this is a distinguishing difference, because although Fiddleford would like recognition, heās not there solely because of it; heās not a believer in exceptionalism nor arrogant about his skills, and so, unlike Ford who is blinded by his obsession, heās much more aware of the dangers of the weirdness of Gravity Falls. Thus, he's actively calculating the risks involved, and when he realizes there could be potentially devastating consequences of the portal, he attempts to talk Ford out of it; this fails due to Fordās own denial and obsession over the portal. In the end, it all goes terribly sideways, and Fiddleford ends up losing everything he had; his wife, his son, his friend, his memories and himself to the trauma he had experienced at the invitation of his friend with the lure of validation and company, due to the memory gun he had created himself.Ā
As for Dipper, much like Ford, he also has issues with self-worth (many of the episodes deal with Dipper finding self-worth; ie, the manotaur episode), has a physical oddity (his birthmark) and by far the trait he relies on most for worth is his intelligence (for example, in one episode he rubs it into Mabel's face over and over again in beating her in games). He's also extremely desperate to be recognized by authority figures as someone intelligent, case in point when he summons the dead after being made fun of by the government agents to try and show them that the information he's gathered is important after Stan dismisses his knowledge. This desperation to be seen as someone of worth from Dipper, much like Ford, extends to the need to be a hero, something he even says at the end of the zombie episode; yet, due to Mabel, unlike Ford he's not a lone hero, and Mabel also half the time acts as the hero.
Image id: Zombies crawling out of a crack after Dipper summons them; Dipper and the two agents look on in horror.
It all culminates in Dipper hero-worshipping Ford when he returns; really, no different than Ford worshipping Bill. And Ford clearly finds it extremely flattering; Dipper's attention and amazement of him feeds his exceptionalism. Exactly how Ford responded to Bill, Dipper is willing to do anything for Ford, excited too, in an attempt to impress Ford and be validated and accepted. And for Ford, that's an extremely heady feeling, especially as someone who has been constantly alone the last 30 years, especially when he had one previously confirm his exceptionalism all those years ago and stopped, and now someone is once again affirming that idea. And Ford doesn't have to be alone again, because he's found a kindred spirit in Dipper as his assistant, someone ājustā like him, someone who is exceptional. Because he sees himself in Dipper, he begins to espouse exceptionalism unconsciously, by praising Dipper's own intellect and adventurous spirit, assuaging his feeling of self-worth, while also telling him he's more important or better than others because of it.Ā
And it's seductive to Dipper, because he wants to hear those affirmations of his self-worth, especially as he hero-worships him, but Dipper isn't sold on it, because it means leaving Mabel behind, it means believing that he's worth more than Mabel (and also, Stan, and all his friends heās made in Gravity Falls). It's ultimately because of his relationship with Mabel that he rejects the ideology; he's not isolated the way Ford was with Bill, and he's not willing to break that relationship for that acknowledgement, because his relationships matter more to him.
Bill and Exceptionalism
Now of course, that's only on the Pines; what about Bill?Ā
While it's obvious that Bill uses exceptionalism as a main manipulative tactic, it's not just an ideology he sprouts emptily; it's also an ideology he believes in, just like Ford, although it's less based on intellectual exceptionalism, and more on power and 'weirdness'.Ā
This most distinctly can be seen in Bill's denial about what happened to his home dimension; Bill's belief in his exceptionalism occurs as a pain avoidance tactic from killing his whole dimension. Bill was clearly a social outcast within his dimension due to being able to see 3d; he's not accepted, and not trusted, to the point that there is medical intervention to make him blind. That's a deeply traumatic experience that completely erases one sense of self-worth, where oneās sanity is called into question by your parents on something that is not harmful, that's beautiful and you just want to share with them. It's a deep and clear rejection of who Bill is, and his ability. As a result, out of a desperate bid to be understood and accepted, he ends up trying to show them the stars. And it ends up killing everyone.Ā
Image id: Page of TBOB, on 'The Early Years' which notes that Bill was an oddity for seeing 3d, something that was illegal to speak about. Bill frames it as something that made him 'special' and better than all the others.
Traumatized, and originally rejected by the dimension, he instead weaves an excuse of exceptionalism; that it doesn't matter what he did to them because he's exceptional and he's worth more than all of them because he can see 3d, because he's powerful, so he shouldn't/'doesn't' feel any remorse about it. With such a traumatic result of trying to be accepted by people, he rejects the idea of trying to be accepted for who he really is; instead adopting a facade of a monster that he believes he is (and eventually, becomes).
Even if he clings to the delusion of exceptionalism, and shuns attempts to find true acceptance, he still wants it; and that's where his henchmaniacs fit in, as they're all, as Bill's noted when trying desperately to get Ford to join him, weird; each has something 'wrong' with them, which is why Bill accepted them as his lackeys (although it's not like we know the context around these). It's a surface-level acceptance however, one more predicated on fear than emotional acceptance. He's taken his 'weirdness', much like many do who believe in exceptionalism,as āpart of what makes him exceptional'.
In the same way that Ford wants to show the world that he's smart and intelligent by building the portal, Bill does so by wreaking havoc and taking over existences as a way to show the world that he's powerful, that he's someone to be reckoned with, that he's not someone to be ignored because he's someone who's worth more than others. If you can't be loved and accepted, then being hated and feared is better than being ignored; acknowledgement at least approaches acceptance, it's validation of some sort of worth. It also functions as deliberate self-sabotage of his morals, by proving that he is the monster that killed his entire dimension; if that's what he is, then that's who he's going to be, because if he wasnāt, then he has to come face to face with his remorse over what he did to his dimension and his whole house of cards around his exceptionalism and not caring collapses. So instead he keeps feeding the delusions the denial, and lies and lies and lies and keeps lying to ignore all of it, to wrap himself in this shroud of exceptionalism and brutality as a way to function. And it somewhat works, because he's mostly deluded himself about it all, even if subconsciously he knows.Ā
And of course, this display of Bill's exceptionalism is what brings Bill to earth, to Gravity Falls, and to manipulating humans. In meddling with earth and humanity, beyond Bill's goal of taking over earth and fleeing his own unravelling dimension, he also enjoys reaping the benefits of being worshiped by humans, who find him awe-inspiring. Their amazement of who he is, and Bill's own posturing and manipulation of people leads to Bill literally forming cults (ie ciphertology) or having apprentices that worship/find him (to varying degree) inspiring; all reinforcing his feelings of exceptionalism.Ā
Of course, Ford numbers among these people; he praises Bill and worships him, as he's played like a fiddle by Bill, because his self-worth and belief in exceptionalism is fucked up in a way that perfectly resonates with Billās. Because it's the exact same types of issues around self-worth, around being an outcast, being weird and wrong physically, and yet at the same time gifted. And Ford clearly is incredibly lonely and yearning for acceptance, but so is Bill; since the beginning he's been trying to find someone who would accept him, even if he's given up on it. And for his song and dance to entice Ford in, he pretends he's not crushed dimensions for fun, that he's not a 'monster'; a version of him he buried after he had tried to show his parents the stars, one that he occasionally resurrects and puppets around for manipulation (all lies are better when they have a grain of truth). And this version of him is worshipped, but above all is accepted, is loved by Ford. The softer parts of Bill, even if they are still weird as fuck, the parts that were never far beneath the surface for all his deluding, become loved by Ford. Much as Ford becomes hooked on Billās praise, Bill also becomes hooked on Ford's genuine love and care. It becomes personal, unlike any previous āinspirationsā and Bill over time gets to the point that he feels accepted, safe enough with Ford to share about his dimension much more close to the truth then he did with any of his henchmaniacs. He becomes vulnerable with Ford, in response to Fordās own vulnerability with him. Heās finding acceptance for the first time in his life around the softer parts of himself, not just the feared acknowledgement that comes from his dimensions conquering; much like Ford is finally finding companionship and acceptance with Bill, not just only intellectual validation. Bill's also for once, not just self-serving; he cares, and goes out of his way to take time with Ford, even celebrating Ford's birthday (in the unique way he does things), both with the rats and the karaoke.
Image id: One of the lost Journal 3 pages in TBOB. Ford recounts Bill talking about the destruction of his dimension, and calls himself by implication a monster.
They're both fulfilling each other's emotional needs, needs which both of them have struggled with most, if not all of their lives (although their relationship is certainly not healthy, considering it's codependent as fuck, riddled with exceptionalism and oodles of power imbalance issues). And suddenly, against Bill's plans, Ford's no longer just a disposable pawn, but someone Bill wants as part of his team, someone by his side, closer than his henchmaniacs are. He's unwittingly fallen for Ford, and so when everything goes sideways in his plan, and Ford swears it off, suddenly cutting off their relationship and that acceptance Bill had finally felt, he spirals into grief and anger from the rejection. As a result, he becomes extremely abusive to Ford in desperate attempts to continue their relationship, and ultimately he becomes obsessive over Ford joining him again as Ford continues to refuse, as evidenced by both Weirdmageddon and the Book of Bill.
Stanley Pines, and the Refuting of ExceptionalismĀ
Exceptionalism, being a negative driving factor behind many core character dynamics, is ultimately refuted by the show. This occurs multiple times over the show, such as with Mabel in the Pioneer Day episode, especially compared to Pacifica, but mostly through Stan's characterization. Stan is someone who has been since the beginning characterized (if lovingly so) as someone who is a failure by societal standards; heās an older man running a run-down tacky tourist shop to swindle gullible tourists out of their money, has multiple divorces, has an ongoing feud with a literal 12 year old, clearly has had multiple mishaps with the law (some ongoing), is generally pretty self-serving and is extremely lonely and really had no close relationships until Mabel and Dipper showed up. He's not exceptional; he's not even what we would consider 'decent' enough to have a 'typical, hard working jobā. In short, heās a failure, a stark difference to the idea of 'exceptionalism' that characterizes Ford. If he's gifted in any area, it would be charisma (debatedly), not anything else.
But it's still Stan who rebuilds the portal from literally only one journal (not all three!) and gets it to work. It even seems like he only needs some codes from the other two journals when he does get them, suggesting that he was able to extrapolate from what was left and the first journalās blueprints to fix it entirely, something that is extremely difficult and technically complicated (Ford, Bill and Fiddleford all worked on it together!). Stan's able to do it, even if it's been shown he's not 'naturally' gifted in that area. And it's something he does as a result of his deep care for Ford; because even after their fights, he cares about Ford and wants to right his wrongs, believes he should, because of his whole life of being defined as a failure and even worse than that, screwing up his āexceptionalā brotherās life. And heāll do it even if that means learning how to build an interdimensional portal, even if it takes up thirty years of his life doing so, and he doesn't waver. Much of this is connected to his own complexes around being deemed a failure compared to Ford, having failed to succeed in his life, and how he feels that he needs to atone for screwing up Fordās life, now for the second time; but beneath it all, he also cares. Much like Ford, he's extremely lonely, but he's not blinded by Ford's arrogance, and as a result he wants to make sure Ford's safe, because that's what he used to do, theyāre twins, they grew up together, they once they had fully accepted and cared for each other, and dammit that still means something, and Stan hasn't found that depth of emotional connection since. So if possible, he wants to rekindle that closeness they had, but first, he needs to bring Ford back.Ā
And in the end, it's not Ford's own special gun he built using his intelligence that 'kills' Bill. It's Stan, someone who Ford had long ago broke it off with in search of validation of his exceptionalism, someone who both Ford and Bill labelled as 'not-exceptional', who defeats Bill. It's exceptionalism's devaluation of people who are 'not-exceptional' that causes Bill to underestimate the Pines beyond Ford, and it's only when Ford put aside his exceptionalism and his refusal to accept and trust 'non-exceptional' people, that is, trust Stan once more, that causes Bill to end up defeated by Stan.
In the end, it's not about who's 'smarter'; it's a reminder that everyone has different skills and are better at different things, but that doesn't diminish one's worth or value, and that just because someone isn't naturally 'gifted' in an area doesn't mean they can't learn or use different ways to get around obstacles. Ultimately, it comes down to that no one is worth more or less than other people; exceptionalism is a lie. Itās a lie and an excuse, and it's certainly not a healthy way to assuage one's poor self-worth. What does matter is creating positive healthy connections with other people, and caring about them. This creates a community where you can be yourself and be emotionally fulfilled through these connections; and when opposition does arise, you become able to fight it together, and fight so much stronger than if you are alone.
And by the end of the show, you see that. Ford begins to let go of the ideal of exceptionalism and its black-and-white categorization; finally recognizes his own faults around prioritizing validation of his intelligence and exceptionalism over his relationships, and finally, after all the years, chooses to create and rekindle positive relationships with people, trust people, and make amends. And in the end, he goes sailing with Stan, prioritizing their relationship, finally fulfilling their childhood promise.
Image id: One of the pages written by Ford into TBOB. Ford refutes Bill's idea of happiness, and says he has finally found his own happiness, and it looks like the photo taped in, of Stan, Ford, Dipper, Mabel, Soos and Wendy, all smiling together.
TLDR: Exceptionalism, an ideology of categorizing people into being special and worth more vs plebian and worth less, is a trauma response and subconscious ideology that characterizes Ford and Billās lives, deeply impacting all their relationships as it is used to coerce people into doing what they want, makes Ford easily manipulated, and breaks relationships through their arrogance. It is ultimately denounced through the way Dipper chooses to reject Fordās offer and his rhetoric of being exceptional, and through the way it's not Fordās intelligence, but rather Stan, who has been labeled as 'not-exceptional' and a failure at life, that defeats Bill through trickery. It's a reminder that everyone has worth, and no one is worth more than other people, even if one may be gifted in certain areas; the ideology of exceptionalism is fragile and a lie. In the end, creating a caring, loving community around oneself is where strength truly lies, as is seen with the deep care and love the characters have for each other, and the repairing of Ford and Stans relationship.
Thanks to the lovely @eshtaresht who deigned to beta read this monster of a post for me
If you enjoyed this meta, (first of all if you read all this you're a champ!) I've also done another gf meta post! (It's shorter I swear)
#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#bill cipher#stanley pines#stan pines#hugin rambles#hugin rambles gf#journal 3#the book of bill#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#billford#fordsquared#gravity falls analysis#gravity falls meta#book of bill#tbob#christ its so long whyyyy#also oh nooo i wanna do another thing but SPECIFICALLY on trust. gravity falls is ultimately about strength in community and hnnnghhhhh#that makes me wanna cry#also i had so many thoughts. also on the denial part of exceptionalism??? oh baby Bill fucking LISTS it in his book#like sir. please#anyways i love media analysis and im totally normal about all these characters#also like Fiddleford is. like. yikes man.#anyways uhm. does dropping a 6k essay post make me sexy? please say yes (i HIGHLY doubt it#sheesh who's got time to read all this... psssspsspspp theres PHOTOS that TOTALLY dont have more reading in rhem nawwww#i totally dont know what ur talking about mhmmm#if youre like is this about gifted kids- yes. yeah. i just didnt name it. its also about wider things but. yeah#also. unofficial title? Gravity Falls and Gifted Kid Issues an analysis#oh boy sure hope my post about gifted kid issues is a hit on the gifted kid issues site
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theyre holding handsā¦ā¦(and being shy about it)
hootsie and gricko doodles (mostly hootsie)
both requested by @nicohasperished !
#i ignored the āgators cant blushā thing for the previous request#but i didnt ignore it this time (for the people who like it that way <3)#ngl really proud of how the gideons and kremys hands turned out#honestly i want to make a little āhow i draw the krewā thing with things like hands#something about gideons hands being square-ish and kremys being sharp and triangular is so satisfying to me#coalecroux#kremy lecroux#gideon coal#kremy x gideon#i looovee hootsie sm#glad i finally got around to drawing her!!#gricko being a dad >>>#not to get deep or anything#but i think gricko tries to be as present for and as invested in hootsie as humanly (goblinly?) possible because of his dad#who was completely absent to the point where he didnāt even know his name or face or even existence#and since his mom had to work a lot to make ends meet and put food on the table#he knows what it feels like to be a little kid and feel isolated or neglected#of course he had his mom and uncle glorbo but i doubt they were there for him during the majority of his childhood#he doesnt want hootsie to grow up like that#them <3#gricko grimgrin#hootsie grimgrin#once upon a witchlight#legends of avantris#my art#ouaw fanart#ouaw
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pm boss chuuya because yes.
#my art#mine#fanart#bsd#bungo stray dogs#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chÅ«ya#port mafia#port mafia boss chuuya#pm boss chuuya#i doubt people look through those tags but who knows maybe iāll make someoneās day#bungou stray dogs chuuya
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I love you messy artstyle i love you visible brush strokes I love you textures and rough edges I love you imperfections I love you roughness and colour blobs I love you scratchy sketches and bold stylisation and dirt and imperfections I love you ugly and raw emotion!!!!! ā¤ļø
#i talk sometimes#art talk#i made a tweet like this on twatter ages ago but i've been feeling this a lot lately#also this is the start of me writing more on this blog and not only using it as art because who cares!! i don't!!#I wanna translate raw emotion into colors and shapes. I wanna know where to ignore all details and where to go ham you feel me?#i used to dream about developing a style like for MtG where it looked like a masterful oil painting that oozes realism and details#and i've realised the last two years or so that I would actually hate that for me. I know I wouldn't enjoy doing it. For myself.#it's that pipeline from wanting to be the perfect realistic wotc artist to accepting that I will never be that#instead i wanna learn how to stylise better and get a good brush economy going yknow. I wanna be bolder.#i doubt i'll ever be as incredible as all these MtG artists no matter what anyone says. but it's ok!! i don't have to be!!!#i just luv art man!!
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Just a heads up to new artists who might not know this: tracing people's artwork and posting it as your own is not okay. With or without credit, its stolen if you don't have permission.
This is why I continue to stay out of the Octonauts fandom and now probably will not return. Even months after leaving the fandom I'm still getting new art tracers and thieves.
If you absolutely have to trace and post it, just ask the artist first. If they say no then don't trace their artwork.
#sorry if this post seems pretty salty#I had a really long day and I think I'm coming down with something#was going to unwind and check tumblr real fast before crashing#only to stumble upon yet another art tracer. And who would have thought. it was Octonauts#This might be the nail in the coffin for me#I don't have any confidence when it comes to returning to this fandom-#but I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt and maybe they really don't know that it's not okay to do that#So that's what this hastily made and very drowsy post is for-#for new artists that might know that tracing people's artwork and posting it as if it was your own is theft#And it also keeps artists like me out of fandoms.#So apologies#this is a slightly salty yet gentle reminder to not trace peoples art without permission#thank you for reading š#heres to hoping i don't wake up with a terrible cold tomorrow š
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i think we should ship carol marcus and gillian taylor
#star trek#gillian taylor#carol marcus#star trek tos#star trek ii: the wrath of khan#star trek iv: the voyage home#the wrath of khan#the voyage home#star trek fanart#theyre both have their doctorate and im sure would be intrigued by each others fields of science#and no one can without a doubt tell me they never ran into each other because we never see them again. as far as im aware. so who knows
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Damn bitch I just realized watching the new episodeā¦ regardless of whether or not Undertaker is related to Ciel by blood, the whole Undertaker makin zombies that attack OCiel is extremely fucked from a weird emotional perspective I hadnāt considered before.
Imagine ur creepy uncle SUDDENLY STARTS RESURRECTING THE FUCKIN DEAD AS KILLER ZOMBIES?? CUZ HES TECHNICALLY A DEAD GUY TOO?! Like idk how close the twins got to him growing up but he was around. Maybe itās more like ādadās creepy friendā than āmy creepy uncleā but still. Thatās weird as all fuck.
If that happened to me that my weird uncle by association was a death god who made zombies Iād be shook as fuck too, no wonder Ciel looks absolutely terrified in this episode lol
Like itās worse than just āsome random loco is making zombiesā or āthe crackhead who gives me intel is making zombiesā itās āTHE GUY WHO USED TO COME OVER MY HOUSE WHEN I WAS LITTLE IS MAKING ZOMBIESā
#black butler#kuroshitsuji#manga#anime#weston college arc#spoilers#I mean I doubt we got anyone who donāt know but whatever#undertaker
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what if i Entirely made up another relationship but with the express intent that they Donāt get together actually. this started out as a lol an lmao even but honestly i think i needed this. cathartically
based on the tags of my post here
šif you ship scc go away
#like even from a non-aro perspective i think we should have more āfriends who donāt feel the same way abt eachotherā that doesnāt nece cen#necessarily centers the one w the romantic feelings#like yeah i bet it sucks to have feelings for someone who doesnāt and wonāt ever feel the same#but speaking from personal experience it is fucking Harrowing to know someoen wants āmoreā from their relationship with you#and you donāt feel that way. āand now that you know now that youāve been told. your relationship will never go back to how it was#and for me i had a lot of doubts afterwards! i was scared!#sure he was scared to tell me he wanted to date me but i was scared to tell The Kid He Sent To Ask that I didnāt want to date him !#deltarune#the art gallery#honestly deltarune probably isnāt the story to Have this narrative considering Evrry Thing Else. especially not with these characters HDHSJ#but what can I say. I like the them#scc#vomit mention
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I'm also still laughing that he really showed up, introduced himself as an Archivist of the Cobalt Soul, and then insinuated that they were going to go extrajudicially hunt down, capture, and "interrogate" a Cerberus Assembly Archmage. Sir, archivists do not do that kind of thing, least of all on their own, LEAST OF ALL with a bunch of random hooligans they were just sent to collect for an unrelated excursion. Quite honestly, that was the thing I kept going back to in evidence of, there is absolutely no way this is a legit archivist.
#sir you kNOW how the cobalt soul works#why didn't you use 'expositor'#'trained sorcerer' THE COBALT SOUL IS NOT TRAINING SORCERERS#SORCERERS DON'T GET TRAINED#you lying idiot. you absolute dumbass. you beautiful fugitive who has miraculously stayed alive for seven years.#I love him SO much#but actually his bit about his mother being a barmaid was actually deeply charming and that was the one moment I had a sliver of doubt#the way he delivered that bit was great and I do joke but he is a very good liar when he really needs to be#he's charming! he's got high charisma! he's a delight! he can spin a tale!#also honestly very funny for me personally. for tiefling fic reasons.#cr spoilers#essek thelyss#critical role
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It really is so true that you never know what someoneās going through behind closed doors. Iāve made being gentle and kind my default bc Iāve had super put together friends disclose the most harrowing time of their lives to me and itās like oh?? You were going through that???? I wouldāve never guessed
#Itās easy to reduce people to side characters or caricatures but you never know. You truly never know what someoneās going through or what#Could push them over the edge. Cruelty will never be worth potentially causing someone permanent damage#Iāve realized this after having a conversation w a friend of mine who sailed straight to med school#Tons of leadership roles#Thriving social life#Yet she just told me her hair was falling out from anxiety. Never in a million years would I have guessed that she was struggling#But she was and lots of people play things close to their chest like that#I really wanna be kind each time I can and to also come from a place of compassion#Bc ik Iāve been misunderstood by people before who reduced me to a caricature or just didnāt know what was happening in my life#I want to actively work on extending the benefit of the doubt to the same people I would want to extend the benefit of the doubt to me
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did anyone ever hold dirk accountable for this footage of him high fiving a known fascist
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Ortus' murder from the point of view of Harrow the Ninth is like. So turns out Crux isn't just Harrow's seneschal, he's her nurse. He was her touchstone for reality for years, the person she turned to to ask "did that really happen?" or "is that real?". And he lied to her.
She didn't believe him, about Ortus. He didn't succeed at pulling that one over on her, but he tried. Which kind of makes you question how many times he might have tried it before, and how many times he wasn't caught.
#like Harrow doesn't tell anyone about watching Silas kill Coronabeth because she wasn't sure if she was an accurate reporter#if she saw Crux straight up try to murder Gideon who would she believe#crux or her own eyes?#especially if Gideon was walking around miraculously recovered the next time she saw her#and once she does start to doubt Crux#what is she going to do about it?#accuse and punish her caregiver?#alienate the one person who knows about her psychosis?#the one person she trusted to help her through the worst of it?#it's fucked up man#it's all the way fucked up#the locked tomb#harrow nonagesimus#harrowhark nonagesimus#marshall crux#harrow's schizophrenia#gaslighting cw#op
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