#dont. dont ask. you wouldnt understand the context

[thostrolot]

hi socks. lots of love. yaoi :) 💖

Hi James, hiiiiiiiiiiiii, it's me, your bestie from Tegaki, oh my god hugs and kisses /p

[blueskittlesart]

blue I kinda wanna watch trigun, should I start the original first?

depends. how much 90s bullshit filler can you handle

[yesornopolls]

if you bought a book to read, but knew you wouldnt be able to finish it for a bit because of limited freetime, would it be reasonable to be upset if someone you lived with started reading it before you were done with it?

for context I specifically asked them not to start reading the book before I finished it because I bought it for myself, and im wondering if this is something that was crazy for me to ask!? I offered to lend it to them after I was done and they seemed like they understood but today I saw them reading it and when I asked them to stop they got upset and threw the book across the room. They don’t understand why I dont want us both to be reading it from the same book at the same time. is it really that bad to not want to share it while Im reading it? I get that its a little selfish but seriously its my book, I feel like im going crazy

[cripplecharacters]

re: art of disabled characters, would there possibly be an alternative tag one could use? i have disabled characters but im able-bodied (kinda) and i think tagging my art w a slur i cant reclaim may be upsetting for followers who dont have the context of your blog. ofc if you primarily mean to boost art made by physically disabled artists then i understand the tag wouldnt be for my use in the first place.

Hi!

That's a fair concern that we honestly just haven't thought about! We will change the tag to just #CCArtShare. Thanks for the ask!

mod Sasza

[prosciuttoon]

Anyway, Shuro isn't the only character with problems, he isn't even the only Japanese/ Eastern Archipelago character, so not the only one with that specific background. And yet, he sure is the only one who acted out the way he did.

If you like him for .. whatever reason (narcissism? Based on your posts, I guess), that's fine, but like. There's extremely valid reasons for not liking him that aren't just "ur racist" or "you just don't understand!!!!"

hes the only one that acted out bc he was the only one that laios was interacting with that was the reason they fought?? laios wasnt talking to hien or benchidori or maizuru like that he didnt even meet them until he reunited w shuro in the dungeon

and when did i ever say “you’re racist if you hate him” all i did was talk abt the cultural context of his upbringing that would make him a terrible communicator. also, narcissism is such a weird word for liking a character a lot? and its not like im making him look innocent and flawless bc im literally explaining his flaws and where they come from. if someone doesnt like him bc he reminds them of someone that hurt them im not gonna try to change their mind, wouldnt hurt to know Why he acts like that but if theyre informed and still dont like him thats perfectly fine!!!

since i think u sent 2 asks ill just put the first one here and answer it too:

in the post abt him leaving izutsumi in the dungeon to come back “if she wants to” the “nuance” i was talking abt was the fact that he said “if she wants to” i.e giving her a choice to return (which she didnt do because she hated that place obv). also sorry hes not powerful enough to abolish slavery in his country, hes not even the heir to the family. dont think the eastern archipelago is strictly based on a specific time or reality in japan, probably just inspired by reality but not based on it, so shuros family is likely one of many families serving their “feudal lord” who rules a province of the country. in history, feudal lords were also under shogun and the emperor, but neither are mentioned in the manga iirc so i will guess that wasnt the case.

my aim w my posts isnt to force ppl to change their minds on whether or not they like a fictional character. im just giving an extra perspective w stuff from extra content plus my own experience (i.e being asian too) that some people may not know about. what they do w the info is up to them im not trying to tell people how to think. if they learn smth that changes their opinion fine if they dont also fine its not that serious. im just talking about my interpretations of the character.

if i see a critique i may think “wait but do they know about [insert notable info]”. if they dont know, would maybe be good to know bc its important to the character, if they do know and thats the conclusion they came to, thats it! i dont do any more than that n ur acting like im forcing everyone to like him.

tldr; just cuz i am explaining the root of his flaws doesnt mean im ignoring them. i still call him what he is! a loner who cant set boundaries and it only makes problems for himself and people around him, but i also happen to be interested in Where the behaviour comes from! (which happens to be heavily due to culture). doesnt mean im calling u racist if u dont like him wut

[perenlop]

i know they’re different writing teams and its written for a gacha game premise but the way magireco bastardized the original show’s themes and handled kyubey so… oddly… makes me worry about how the new madoka movie is gonna be written

hmm gonna say a thing in a rb bc i dont want ppl from tags getting mad at me (still not sure what the general consensus on this show is)

[syrupspinner]

i completed the demo for metaware high school

shoutout to beloved mutual autistic nari for selling me on this, and sorry for forgetting to make this post until now lol. thisll be a long one so strap in!

so i think its safe to say that ddlc really shook up indie gaming from a cultural standpoint. first is that it helped people figure out that visual novels have value as a medium, inexplicably. theres been this weird holdover in western gaming culture at large from like, the 2010s xbox era, where visual novels dont count or something. if people engage with them at all, its dismissively, and people come away with the idea that everything is a sound novel and therefore boring. but like... not only are sound novels good, but ryukishi07's work is the only example of a vn not having an interactive component. dating sims are basically stat managers, detective games require attentive puzzle-solving, and a lot of vns outside that have interesting gameplay hooks like va11hallas drink mixing

all this is to say that i feel like ddlc was designed in a lab to be a 'hiding medicine in the balogna' situation, where people can say that it may be a visual novel, but its totally worth it for the funny viral scares. well, im glad it did, because now it feels like people are very very slightly more receptive to visual novels

but, more importantly, it brought more attention to the postmodern potential of video games as a medium. this isnt the first time that gaming has borrowed aspects of postmodern literature (characterized by interacting with itself and intentionally subverting audience expectation) such as stanley parable's famous use of a unreliable narrator within the context of a controllable story. but ddlc makes it feel ludonarrative. games like oneshot and imscared already paved the way for games that interact with the player as computer files and use this context to create puzzles and simulate a haunted computer, but ddlc was one of the first games to make a character aware of the fourth wall and interact with their negative feelings on the matter. traditionally, 4th wall breaks are treated as comedic, seen best with characters like gwenpool. but... wouldnt knowing that not only is everything in the world fake, but there is only a single person who actually matters? a player that has agency that you are designed to lack, a sole audience member that you are asked to perform for. thatd fuck anyone up.

hence, metaware high school. fun fact, because of how much i associate VNs with high school settings with japanese culture, i keep wanting to pronounce it metawarAY, but that ruins the pun of the portmanteau of meta and aware. i played fucking めたわれ bro.

so its pretty clear that this game is iterating on ddlc, only in the context of being in a demo. in addition, it takes more of a character studying approach to how individuals understand their world. nari gives into despair and helplessness knowing that she is helpless to fight her scripted actions. hope takes a very relaxed and lackadaisical "its just a demo, bro" outlook, izzy is obsessed with fulfilling her role but anxious because she doesnt know what the full game is. the idea that they dont know the full game is interesting, because it brings to mind religious undertones. christians, as children of god, are 'supposed' to live godly lives, and seek fulfillment from something that they can only trust is invisibly real. the difference is that the player is different from the creator. i didnt make izzy, but its still her purpose to demonstrate the game. what is the punishment for failure? what does failure even look like? is it worth the risk to find out?

going back to nari and hope, i find their dynamic really interesting. the game presents nari as a mysterious character to begin with, hardly talking except for the end of routes. personally, i think it makes sense for her to have such a connection to hope. i should capitalize her name so you dont get confused, huh. its funny because nari has a pretty hopeless disposition, resigned to her fate and disillusioned from her surroundings. i dont think she has completely dehumanized the other characters in the same way monika saw the other club members as meaningless code. my view is that nari is just as real as her friends, and any disregard of them is just from post-realization depression. the player isnt more real or more important, at least outside of the demo's machinations that nari is forced to work within, but instead a lovecraftian intruder from outside their schema of reality. Hope sees them as more of, like, some fella. weird glowy thing. i wonder if they like mochi. this isnt out of stupidity or callous disregard, we are shown scenes of Hope being emotionally considerate and using the structure of reality in creative ways (the "what word am i thinking of" gate), so we as the audience know that Hope is making the personal choice to acknowledge the world in a more positively nihilistic way. yeah, its a demo. thats what the world is. wanna get mochi? i like mochi

i think if Hope werent so roxy lalonde flavoured, Aspen would be my fave. nari reacts with despair, Hope reacts with a casual smile and a shrug, izzy reacts with concern and anxiety, then aspen reacts by thinking about how they can directly benefit from the situation. the second they find out the player knows about the future, they sequester you into a very long series of questions. like, im convinced if the the apocalypse was happening, aspen would cheer and go full mad max. i think this extends to why they want the game to be a dating sim so much, because that would be the genre that directly benefits them the most. like, if its a detective or mystery game, theyd have to solve a mystery or die or whatever, but if its a dating sim they get a cool ephemeral entity to date!

and then theres chris. shes something of a mascot for the game demo, so i expect her reaction to reality (read: her personal philosophy) to be pretty important. from her route, we learn that she loves visual novels, and from that she wants to make the player enjoy her visual novel (demo) too. i think this is interesting on its own: if you learned that the world was a game, wouldnt you want that game to be good? especially in the context of the player messing around and taking the piss, where she gets upset that youre not taking her effort seriously. if izzy is the stage director, chris is the lead actor, at least that's how she's appointed herself. actually, her contrast with izzy is interesting, because theyre both the only characters who feel dedicated to performing their roles appropriately. with izzy, it feels more negative, but chris feels more like a sincere and intrinsic dedication. she wants to make the world better, just because shes enjoyed so many other great worlds and wants to spread that feeling to others.

so yeah, this feels like a more exploratory expansion of ddlc's concept. but upon reflection, i dont think theres anyone who copes with their circumstances the same way monika does. monika goes through a sort of philosophical derealization where the player becomes the only thing thats real, but nobody in metaware feels the same level of disconnection in my opinion. nari gets the closest of course, because she has the most intimate awareness of the games code and script, but shes uniquely powerless and is forced to recognize that, in addition to the aforementioned realness of her friends. so she CANT be a yandere, she hates the player for essentially being spoiled by having the whole world live and die by their convenience. ddlc's player is the most important person (positive) while mwhs's player is the most important person (negative, in naris perspective). it reminds me of how everhood positions itself as a response to undertale, building on its interaction with games as an artistic medium by building on its themes without presenting itself as a correction. i also just love the fact that since the world being a demo is a known truth, no characters perspective is presented as definitive, which does a better job of inviting the player to engage with the world and come to your own conclusion on what reaction would be the most justified

oh, and the ending... its like every character is confronted with the ultimate culmination of the world, as a direct challenge to their personal outlook. Hope's playfulness dissolves into panic, because she never seriously contended with this and used her casual playfulness as a coping mechanism that doesnt work anymore. nari meanwhile is totally nonreactive, this has been a forgone conclusion for her for a long time, such an innate inevitability it may as well already have happened... which doesnt make the moment any more enjoyable, shes panicking as much as Hope. izzy's biggest concern is her friends, the ones shes been panicking at the whole game until that point, the ones shes been relaying her concerns to and desperate to force into line to try and Play Their Role as theyre supposed to, just in case. but shes alone anyway. aspen reflects on their efforts to extract meaning and benefit from their circumstances and lements never having real control. chris romanticizes their memories and just expresses thanks for everything, ever positive. its an interesting analysis of their culmination of all their philosophies. like, hope and nari were pretty opposed, but they feel pretty similar in the end. chris's optimism cant hold up in the face of oblivion and fades into the same mournfulness and regret as her friends. end the end, regardless of outlook, its hard to change the basic human reaction to inevitability and tragedy

metaware is immaculately crafted, its a wonderfully made exploration into human reactions to fundamentally inhuman circumstances. the characters all feel unique and reasonable, memorable yet realistic, but still with a thematically relevant twinge of scripted performance. anyone who doesnt like visual novels can kiss my ass, youre gonna play this and youre gonna like it.

so yeah, excited for the full game! i hope its a roguelike deckbuilder

[miiilowo]

That sucks, are you okay?

yeah im just irritated mostly

i genuinely cannot figure out what this persons problem is. for full context, im a singlet, and my boyfriend is a fictive. his source is william afton. everyone here knows i love william afton. i can understand why this would be eyebrow raising at first glance, but ive said many times that if he actually acted like william The Character, i wouldnt be dating him. i like him for him, not because of his source. if thats what this persons got a stick up their ass about then theyre beyond saving

he went dormant for a few months, and though both he and i were receiving anon hate and anon...bitching, pretty often, it switched gears from random complaints and accusations to saying i was abusive, hiding something, made him go dormant, with many of the asks saying things like 'so when are you gonna talk to someone about what you did' or 'when will you realize this is your fault' among similar anxiety inducing statements

ive spoken to will and other people in his system and we've had many discussions about the shit this person says. unless im being lied to repeatedly, which i HIGHLY doubt is the case, this person is either making shit up because they dislike me and/or our relationship, or theyre genuinely convinced of a lie they're telling themselves and frankly i dont know which one is more irritating

a large part of me wonders if they think im abusive because i have NPD lmao

[vanderdyks]

I saw a post on twitter saying there would be a translation note here explaining that goku thought bread, and therefore, because of the absence of an explanation from the translators, goku really did forget pan. Someone correct me if im wrong, but i havent seen a translator note in awhile. I dont recall there being one during the whole "kiss debacle" either.

But if thats not evidence enough, Goku's embarassment should be.

Hes not embarassed that he "forgot" her. He didnt. Hes embarassed he didnt immediately think of her first. Its the "eh? AHH!" as in OH THAT PAN. Hes never struggled with his family's names, he wouldnt forget pans existence. His SONS ARE RIGHT THERE. To me, its clear he thought bread and thats why he's so confused. And then embarassed by that fact.

Goku doesnt ask "Who's that?" Or "Who's pan?" He just repeats the word. Because why would piccolo and gohan would be going to pick up bread. When I saw this panel first circling, I figured something was up. Because it didnt seem to match. Something was off. Translators make mistakes. It happens. But if you really look at this, Goku confusing pan and bread makes the MOST sense and matches his reaction as well.

Not to mention its set up as a joke. Not a joke that he FORGOT pan but that everyone else thinks he did. But he didnt. Thats the joke. Because while everyone else knew what piccolo meant, Goku didnt. Remember, he takes things literally. Its not an insult to pan either for him to think of the food first. Because of context. If piccolo stated they were picking pan up from school, then Goku would have been given the context HE NEEDED to come to the same conclusion as everyone else. And that is VERY Goku. He needs specifics. Goku not understanding things in the same way as everybody else around him is a common occurance in the series.

And maybe I am wrong. Maybe the intention is for goku to have forgotten pan, but fuck that because we all know he would never.

[alicentsgf]

"No she didnt ask for his death, its more about the asumption we can make about it all. Speaking completely and only to the book exclusively, I have to ask, what do you think would have been Maelor's fate if he'd been brought back to the red keep and Rhaenyra?" mmm I understand where you're coming from, and I agree that there are assumptions we can make based on the book's context. But I think Maelor's fate would have depended on Rhaenyra's strategy at that moment. If he had been brought back to the Red Keep, she might have seen him as a bargaining chip or leverage against Aegon's supporters rather than killing him outright, especially if she believed doing so would further destabilize her own rule or alienate her supporters. I think Rhaenyra would have seen him as both a potential threat and a valuable pawn. Political decisions often involve more nuance, and she might have calculated that keeping him alive—at least for a time—could serve her interests in a different way, like future leverage, public sympathy, or dividing her enemies....I think there’s room for interpretation about how exactly Rhaenyra might have handled the situation. Then again, we can only assume, but as George himself said in his post, Rhaenyra didn't ask for Maelor to die—that wasn't her intention. Yet, people still insist that she wanted him dead?

I get that, maybe I didnt make it clear that I dont think he's dead immediately I'm talking exclusively about if Rhaenyra wins the war. In fact, at the point where she puts out a reward for the return of Maelor she is winning, as shes sitting the throne in that moment. It was Maelors death and Helaenas subsequent suicide that changed that. I just think on some level Rhaenyra must know when shes asking for Maelor to be found that he cant be allowed to live beyond her own death. Shes not completely blind to the realities of the situation, despite her political frailties. There would be another sucession crisis in some form, for sure. Rhaenyra and Daemon arent known to be particulary politically savvy so I dont hold out much hope for them playing any kind of long, political game and them like... holding Maelor as a prisoner when he has no male Targaryen relatives left? that makes no sense to me. When they can so easily remove the one potential claiment their enemies could rally behind, why wouldnt they? Its not like they dont have a history of removing their otherwise innocent inconveniences, e.g. rhea, laenor, jaehaerys, etc

To me theres just no eventuality where Rhaenyra rules peacefully and Maelor just exists living as Maelor Targaryen, even under lock and key. That would be a terrible look on her, to hold her nephew, a child, hostage. Whilst he lives he remains politically relevant, disturbing the peace just by existing. And that is Rhaenyras objective - to rule peacefully, and to have her heir (which would be Joffrey in this version of events) ascend peacefully. So on some level she must know Maelors claim has to be neutralised at some point, even if she doesnt want to acknowledge that directly. Like I dont think she would revel in the idea of killing him, I just think she would see him as collateral and be prepared to do anything to protect her own children, as you would expect!

At best shes smart enough to publically show "mercy" and send him to the wall or something (because theres no way he gets sent to Oldtown where he has allies), but lets be honest he'd probably still disppear or be killed in some ""accident"" at some point following that decision. A convenient little incident, like getting thrown from a horse lmao. More likely Daemons doing, if he still lives, or Rhaenyras council if not, but Rhaenyra wouldnt ask questions. One life to avoid another war would be totally justifiable to her, even if it was the life of a child.

[dapperrokyuu]

Youll show concern for some people and say you hope they get better, and then theyll start telling you about how they "dont get" abortion.

Had some weird interactions today, but it is what it is, lol.

[msperfect777]

https://www.tumblr.com/piercedblunt/722579034865844224/whos-gonna-tell-the-non-dualism-girlies-that?source=share

u might want to see this, it might be abt you

LMAOOOO BYEEEE💀💀 a whole riot about a concept they dont even care about smh why bring so much anger and attention to it then🤡.

they dont get that non dualism has nothing to do w manifesting or loa and the point is to be free from suffering in this “life”. when i learned about non dualism it was not to learn how to “get desires” but to learn how to notice that i am not the human that is feeling pain (as someone who needed to hear it). i fr didnt even know that non dualism was “trending” in the loa community when i learned it and since i understood it and i wanted to reshare the info, i did (bc i can). ig bc it was a “trend” ppl always asked about desires so i mentioned it in my posts.

and the saturating and affirming shit was always talked about in the loa community even wayyy before i learned non dualism so i shared what i learned about my loa experience on there.

if they was so secure in they “law” the they wouldnt be coming at the “non dual girlies”… like the arguing is all forrr whatt?? i got a blog and ima share what i know on it like it aint no problem💀 block me if any of ya got an issue i promise i encourage it😘 now that im rereading it its bc they just dont understand non dualism… u cant talk shit about something u dont even understand bc u just look stupid.

and whats all this push about “loa just being non dualism” if thats the case whats the point of eating ass about it? and “not having faith in loa” like why u such a fan of the type of content i post and why should a stranger care about whether or not im with loa or not💀💀

im even realizing that ppl are using terms of non dualism to mix it up w loa which i think is getting the loa girlies a bit mad but idc.. it got nun to do w me. i actually know how to mind my business. for example tho (ima talk about it bc i can) like before the loa community used to talk about affirming then repetition and saturation and impressing the subconscious mind U DEF CANT LIE THATS DEADASS WHAT THEY TAUGHT💀. and now w non dualism they r using more words like “consciousness” and “ego” more often is what im realizing and how “nothing is real” blah blah even when its wrong to use it in the loa context.

nah but its mad sad tho like why ppl so pressed about a little concept that they dont even agree w or care about smh… bitches is weird these days…

if u got so much faith in the law, why u so threatened when someone talks about something else or “misinterprets loa” like u know the law so stick w it. there no point in getting on ppls dick just for that💀 im actually crying rn this is mad funny.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas!! okay im just gonna pray to the lord that this wouldnt come out racist. week ago my little sister asked me “ people get upset when they draw black people white, so why dont they get upset when they draw white people black??” i honestly never give that much thoughts before so this question really threw me off guard. bc of that i cant give a proper answer to her and shes been asking the same question since then. i was kind of afraid people will saw it as racism so i was hoping that you would understand it and if its not a bother i hooe you can give me an answer to this

loveed the new chap of clandestine btw!! your jegulus makes me feel single in the best way posiible!! hope you had a good day

Ooo okay so please keep in mind that I'm white, so the things I'm saying are based off of what I've learned from research. Please please if someone sees something that is wrong, correct me!

First, I think it's important to listen to what POC have said on this subject. Here is a link to a youtube video I just watched by a POC creator and artist that does an amazing job of breaking down why this is an issue and how to correct it- even going into techniques for drawing darker skin. At time mark 4:25, he answers your specific question. This is, hands down, the best place to get your answer.

Basically, society has a history of whitewashing. For centuries, POC have been erased- taken out of history, not been given proper/literally any rights or voices, literally killed and hunted down. Both their achievements and the way they have been targeted have been purposely not discussed or reported on, and please be aware that even though people disagree, this is still a constant problem. It's not going away.

Society whitewashes in so many ways it's impossible to count them all- giving white people credit for the work of POC; casting white people for the roles of POC characters; basing healthcare rules on research conducted only on white people; teachers taking points from students if they don't use 'Standard' American English and instead speak using AAVE or HVE terms even if they still get answers completely correct; schools only teaching the history of historically white countries and populations; the list goes on and on and on.

Keep in mind too that for years, diversity in literature and media was close to nonexistent in most places. Why? Because any literature created by POC or about POC is not taught or as widely distributed. Think about the books you were/are given in school. Any books from years ago don't have racially diverse characters, and if they do, they either are a caricature of their race, or are solely written about based on the 'struggle of being their race.' They are not given the 'luxury' of personality traits outside their race. It is only recently, as POC have spoken out about this issue and are being given the chance to publish their own work with characters that reflect them, that main characters can both be black AND solve a murder mystery- amazing! (/sarcasm). So now that we are starting to see more diversity in media, it is vital not to take that away.

So, with that knowledge about the history behind whitewashing and lack of racial diversity in media, you now know the context. So when a person chooses to draw a black character as white, they are taking with them all of that history and context. And in a moment, by drawing that character white, they are bringing back that context, and taking away the diversity that is so needed in literature.

And- why? Why do people insist on drawing canonically black characters as white? There is no good reason. People can say "oh, I think she'd be better as white" but that's just racism, plain and simple. If an artist doesn't know how to draw dark skin, they can look up a video.

In contrast, drawing a canonically white character as a different race doesn't take anything from them. It doesn't bring up a history or context with centuries of racism behind it. The only thing it does is add diversity to a fandom and allow people to see characters that look like themselves in media where they might not have.

I hope this makes sense and I hope I've done the topic justice! Please know that any racist or hateful comments on this ask will be deleted, but if someone has anything to add or any corrections to make, please let me know!

[c0rpseductor]

have to explode about this somewhere or i simply will not make it

i am so fucking mad at my mom. i realize in isolation everything happening recently is totally innocuous and normal, it's just like. in context that it hurts.

i hate that she's sick with Probably Covid and asking me for a bunch of extra favors. i had to wash her a cup for water because she didn't feel good the other day, yesterday i had to do her laundry, today i had to cook for her. if this were like, between anybody else it would be fine. it's just like. agh

i feel so angry that she wants me to take care of her and i've ALWAYS taken care of her and i always feel like she just does not give a fuck about my most basic needs beyond "well, lestat's not dead!". it makes me feel ungrateful because i know she does nice stuff for me sometimes too, it's just like, it hurts when i always hide when i'm upset and barely ask her for anything even when i'm in such bad physical pain that i can't function. like most of the time if i'm too unwell to make something to eat i just go without food. i don't like asking her for things and i always feel like there's a limit to how often i can ask for her help, and that i have to be careful to mostly be a kind of pleasant background decoration that never imposes on her.

i always had to be her mom, ever since i was a kid. even when i was little she wasn't consistent and would berate me or get angry with me for just, like, being a kid and wanting or needing stuff. meanwhile i've always been like her little stuffed animal to talk to when she's sad. she always acted like she loves me so much and we're so close but mostly like i'm a possession of hers. i just like. i dont know. im so hung up on when she was drinking and high on coke and she said to me like, "oh id much rather just have a roommates relationship with you instead of being like mother and son." explains much about like, my Entire fucking childhood!

and then she takes credit for how i've turned out as if she raised me, like, i feel like not only did i raise myself but i'm raising her half the time trying to explain basic things about emotional regulation and hereditary mental issues and shit, being the first person she comes to for everything, always having to calm her down or support her when she's venting when i KNOW i can't rely on her in the same way or tell her any of the really challenging issues i have, like just. it's not fair. it's so tiring. materially i am very grateful that she is willing to let me stay with her and that she understands i'm disabled and can't work right now and tries to still help me live a comfortable life (and, cynically, i feel that she's kind of okay with me being in this kind of bad position as long as i don't leave), i know i'm lucky to have food and shelter and things like that.

i just like. man i don't know. i feel like i've been holding this back for days because i just fucking feel like it's so unfair that whenever mom feels bad i'm Favors Boy and i can be expected to do anything for her that she wants, but when i feel bad it's like, locking myself in the bathroom trying to cry quietly enough that she won't notice to clean off blood after cutting, or holing up in my room with a migraine and having to drag myself out of bed to use my Very Little Energy to make myself coffee or get water and then not being able to eat because im too tired to make myself anything substantial and god forbid i ask her, and then after i have my bad episode she's like Hey so i know you have a bad leg and stairs make it worse but i dont like taking out the trash so can that still be your job. it's not like the front steps are even THAT bad it's just like, ok, im so glad you thought about my limp. of course she wouldnt though it's literally her fault my leg is so fucked up and when i went to the hospital for it way back when and it didn't turn out to be a broken bone she was all like haha i told you so! and then laughed at me when i tripped and fell on my crutches coming home. she just does not give a fuck. but ohhhh lestat would you mind feeding me like a baby bird.....your poor old mother is so sick and feeble.....

[laithraihan]

I'm the anon who sent you the long message that apparently came off "pompous & infantilizing" and more to your followers.

I find it interesting that that message sparked such a flood of defenders, when I did not send it in bad faith at all. From your answer it seems I'm lacking context so sorry if I took some of your statements the wrong way, but nonetheless I just found the parental love addition strange and reacted to that, that was all there was to it. I clearly stated (three times) I'm not taking any issue with your headcanons.

By saying they are far removed from canon I did not mean to say they are "too unrealistic" or something is wrong with that, I literally said the opposite. I meant just that, that factually, this will not be a common interpretation for someone who is familiar with the source material but not your blog. This is not a statement that I made with any judgemental value and I thought I made that very clear but apparently not.

So I'm sorry for the additional ask.

Have a nice day.

Thank you for the response.

I was fully aware you said there was no issue with what I drew, but the way you wrote everything else sort of negated that statement. At least that's how me and many other people saw it.

If someone finds what I drew strange or confusing then they could always just... block me or ask me about it (and btw I expected people to be confused, otherwise I wouldnt have labeled it "non-coupling" as soon I posted it lol)

Someone did ask me about it, and you seem to have already seen that response, yet you still felt the need to send another message basically implying that an explanation wasn't enough (turns out it actually wasnt enough because people said I was lying and in denial) and that my explanation was weird too? Which is whatever I already ended up clarifying that, English is not my first language and I type things with the help of a translator (I wish people could actually keep this in mind. I only type in English because it'll reach a wider audience and it's the language most of my followers know. Often I have to google words people tell me online, or I ask my friends fluent in English to explain things for me)

You can say "that's not what I intended" but that's how it came across... you wrote a lot of nice words while also saying it was understandable that people were ganging up on me over a drawing, it seemed patronizing.

That's why me and others took offense to it, but I think it's difficult to tell tone through text so I don't want to keep nitpicking this any further. If you say you had no ill intent then I believe you.

The following will just be me adding more context and not necessarily aimed at you: Again I understand the lack of context of my account can make people confused about my art, Ive made that clear many times.

The art I made where I said "if your parents didnt love you then it's obvious" was a direct response to people who were mocking me specifically for tagging the art as "non-coupling" because they didnt believe me. They got the context and decided I was trying to hide a fetish because a kiss on the cheek was "obviously shippy". They proceeded to compare this to drawing NSFW of Mob and Reigen by labelling it "non-ship" as if it was comparable to tucking a child into bed, that's what upset me. I did absolutely nothing to these people, I dont know them, if they said this privately I wouldnt care but it was public, and they also targeted another friend of mine for no reason.

All Im gonna say is that my drawing shouldnt have caused this much controversy in the first place. I labeled it "non-coupling" as soon as I posted it, which should've been enough honestly. It's not like I posted porn or anything like that, I got the idea from something Ive experienced in my family as a teenager and I could easily google stock images of the exact same scenario to use as reference, like I really didnt think it was that bad.

Anyways I think I've explained myself many times already. Im not gonna be hostile and say to people "roh t9awed dont ever send me anything else related to this" but just.. check if Ive already answered your question so that it doesnt end up being repetitive. If you have a question about this that I havent answered yet, then feel free to ask.

[xuune]

dropping this here because I kinda wish I'll snap out anytime soon from listening to the playlist you made for your last art, but here I am, booming 8:00, get me some, wyd, wounds will h.eal, and enclosed in my earphones at midnight. i think your music taste is fire, i'll give you that. mygods (ง •_•)ง

anw, I wanted to ask on how you decide and plan expressions/interactions for the characters when you draw your works? I always find your works to be so expressive. thanks in advance if you ever see this :OOO

p.s. I LOVE YOUR OCs, i think i'm in love with rael i genuinely wish they'll give me a headlock or smthn and i'll be happy p.p.s. i would marry your art if I could (i'm this fkn close 🤏 pls dont sue me)

(sorry for taking so long to reply, you'll know why once you read the rest of this lol)

im so glad that you had those as your faves bc those are some of mine too :D i've been seeing a few ppl rly enjoy 8:00, and if it wasn't for my friend recommending me that song, we wouldnt be here, and those drawings wouldnt have existed either, let alone the animatic i did

thank you for thirsting over my ocs, you don't know how much of a compliment that is whenever i see ppl react that way to them LOL. thats how i know i peaked with their design 😎 stay tuned for some other oc art, cuz im currently working on a piece for my friend's ocs. his ocs exist in the same universe as mine :)

i'll answer your question about planning expressions and interactions below, bc i have a lot to say about that:

when planning for expressions and interactions, i'm usually trying to answer a couple of these things:

what moment do i want to highlight

why is this moment significant

how do these characters feel in the moment, how to they react to each other, what's their motivations

what body language best answers the question above ^

basically, i'm asking myself "what's the scene?" -> "what do the characters feel in that moment?" -> "how do they act this out to convey that?" (that's how i was taught to read scripts for plays. you must understand character motivations before you figure out how to act their feelings out)

it's very important to have a good balance of body language and dialogue to convey the mood if/when appropriate, since sometimes strictly relying on dialogue to sell the moment w/o body lang or vice versa can tank the execution

i assume that you're more interested in how i planned the interactions for them sharing music? lmk if there's like specific ones, bc i can explain more for whatever else it may be

anyways, i start off with scripts of some kind. my scripts can be very barebones that just note a specific scene (i.e. "working at desk, listen to music together before class starts"), or that i build a moment based on a piece of dialogue (i.e. "better not queue anything lame"). here's the notes i made when i made the 8:00 animatic, since thats big on body language

i wanted to get down my main ideas first, which was figuring out the the lyrics i wanted to use paired with dialogue to match. i dont show my thinking much on some of my notes, but what i was getting at this:

story moment: dk connecting the context of the song to his intimate moment with bkg

key moments: waking up, playing with hands, eye contact w/ bkg

i didn't expand on the ideas for how those moments would look until i actually started thumbnailing for the animatic, which i showed briefly here. here's what i kept in mind for their expressions/interactions:

dk shies away from directly confronting bkg outwardly expressing his feelings for him via the song. he avoids it and changes the topic verbally to make the conversation lighthearted -> "what expresses avoidance?"

bkg is direct about his feelings, his actions and expressions must convey a direct confrontation, an attempt to make dk acknowledge how he feels about him thru the song and potentially get a response from him -> "what expresses straightforwardness?"

here's what i decided would visually answer those questions

the implications of character's expressions also factors in the circumstances of their situation. without the context, the execution tends to fall flat. if you didn't know that they were listening to a song that's all about romantic pining, then you probably would've been questioning why the fuck are they just staring at each other, or assumed that one is shy of the physical interaction when that's not the point; its the dawned realization and the acknowledgement of the other's feelings.

my other drawings for that thread followed the same kind of planning tbh, lol. all those drawings had the lyrics set the stage for how the characters are feeling, and i'd have to figure out what about their facial expressions and body language best matches the context of the situation. here's this brief example:

but yeah, that's generally how i plan for expressions/interactions. sometimes i just get a rush of interaction ideas that is centered on one specific question i want to explore, like:

what do their mundane parts of life look like?

how do they physically react to realizing their feelings for the other?

how is someone anxious about the other person's perception of them in the comic i'm drawing?

and then build off from there. hope that helped :D