#dont worry he wont get far on foot

[pwblogarchive]

November 2007

November 2, 2007

"our smiles are just a commercial for how normal we are"

the idea of protecting would imply that there is some possession-

a toast implies change.

noone toasts normals days

or gutter heads.

i swear to god i have come to love some of you so dearly.

i count on you to get me by.

but i have begun to wonder about my contribution to life

i want to go to school.

i want to move far away.

im scared.

but only of god and a witness stand.

im not sure how much longer i want to do this if it doesnt mean anything-

i need a push a sign something that puts me back on course.

if i go for it you tell me i shouldnt have.

if i lay and wait you think i dont care.

i want to believe so badly.

morning is just a cold shower for dreams.

broke the little bone on top of my foot.

oh well i am so accident prone, i owed the universe some marrow.

not gonna back out on you.

3rd time in an mri this year.

there is no room colder or smaller.

there is something about the repetitive clicking that gives me visions.

i really feel for people who truly have to go through this on a daily basis or need crutches everyday of their life. honestly it is humbling for me.

and i probably needed that humility.

thanks for your understanding.

the painkillers and pride have my head in a bit of a tangle.

help me unwind it.

is there a song you count on every time?

i swear by the baxters

and the dropouts who only kept the books and the freshman fifteen

awake inside someone elses dream

alone in someone elses throne

gift wrapped wasp nest

blue ribbon jealousy contest

cant make everyone in the world unhappy all of the time

theres no glory on the road

its just a quick way to make you old

theres a new order

my disorders

i am just a sweettooth in the cavity search of life

Posted by xoat 1:24 AM

November 13, 2007

“this machine kills fascists”

after the pornstar john holmes career deflated he turned to showing up at LAX and stealing peoples bags off of the conveyor belt.

i watched someone do this to me at the airport today.

i am obsessed with the change that can turn in the world.

sometimes the message is more important than the art.

i need him more than he needs me, he needs her more than he needs me and so on.

theres nothing new under the sun

but were reading on existentialism in the shade.

i am so in love with the idea

if it werent for that i am not sure where i would turn.

i guess this is another halfhearted thank you. just because you keep tuning in.

"dont you think its insane how donald duck never wears pants?"

life is better when youre around.

but yes i do think its insane.

Posted by xoat 1:27 AM

November 15, 2007

“a sketch of Chicago in words.”

afternoon rhythmic no sleep dream.

body rigid.

mind convulsing.

i went scanning thru frequencies as my eyelids stuck shut.

reminds me of the first time the emt's gave birth to me.

or back to me.

whats the difference between a vision and a hallucination is simply whos giving the diagnosis.

the visions were so bright they burnt shadows on the inside of the room.

were a wagon party.

i see the world in slow motion.

theres shivering everywhere.

too cold outside, too hot inside.

fall has stolen the country from here.

sleep never comes naturally anymore.

boys playing men in flannel shirts-

homage or parody of what once was.

whos gonna be left when its all and done?

im exploding just too slowly for anyone to take notice.

Posted by xoat 2:19 AM

November 15, 2007

“maybe we should feed our jewelry to the sea”

from current occupation: selling fire in hell by xo

mid tour crisis got everybodys heads troubled.

new panic at the disco songs are settling.

cant sleep so we wrote a lullabye.

you probably wont ever hear it unless we end up at a campfire together:

honey is for bees, silly bear

besides theres jelly beans everywhere

its not what it seems, in the land of dreams

dont worry your head just go to sleep

doesnt matter how you feel

lifes just a ferris wheel

its always up and down, dont make a sound

when you wake up the world will come around

its just sweet weather and peacock feathers

in the morning itll all be better

dont worry your head just go to sleep.

November 17, 2007

“the only thing suicidal here are the doors.”

weve been indoctrinated to crave the idea of the extraordinary ordinary

we accept the blogs and camera phones as mediums, not as in the transfer of information, but more closely defined to the idea of the spiritual medium...- as the prophets, the eye and pyramid on the dollar bill

we are just flies on the wall watching a culture have a nervous breakdown.

everyone is born between may 22 and june 22, even if theyre not- we are a gemini generation. we love to hate everything in other people that we hate about ourselves.

arrogantly insecure and vice versa.

and life lately is just always about the spins and collateral damage.

sometimes the snow and ground frost shut us both down

in love with the idea of permanent impermanence.

so careful of stuttered over articulation, as though saying the word better would somehow make it mean more.

the worlds worst kind of diary.

i wish i could pull the pause button off of every electronic gadget in my home- i despise it so.

strangely fulfilled by the idea of loving strangers and hating my friends.

how there had to be an inkling in the head of neal armstrong to just stay on the moon and wait for the air to run out, besides the fact thats what we are all doing sort of in the long run only he'd have a better view.

Posted by xoat 1:49 AM

November 22, 2007

“i think this is a bit of an overestimation.”

ill need to take up gardening or something if im gonna be around this long.

Posted by xoat 3:22 AM

[aranock]

A lot of people really do not understand how cats show affection, and also a lot of people are surprised that cats won't like them when they are a dick to the cat. Cilian often gently, and without ever breaking skin, bites me to get my attention, this is something cats to do each other. They will literally love bite. He often licks the spot he bit if hes worried he bit too hard as a like "sorry". He likes to flop on me and wrap around my foot when hes excited that I am home, proceeding to double back foot kick my leg in excitement. He loves headbutting and rubbing his side against my leg to show affection, he leans his forehead towards me when hes high up when he wants a little kiss on his forehead.

He comes to purr and make biscuits on me when I am having pain flareups. He knows when I am upset and comes to check on me. He is by far one of the most affectionate BEINGS I have ever encountered. He has only EVER been mean to one person, that person was being a dick to him.

But also some cats are not cuddly and affectionate with most people, or just not very social, because they are unique beings with unique personalities. My aunt has 2 cats, Jasper and Po, Jasper basically only likes my aunt. Po gets upset if you dont let him sit on top of you or pet him. I used to catsit them. Even Jasper, the cat least known for liking anyone out of any cat I have ever heard of, would VERY OCCASIONALLY come for pets when he got too lonely if my aunt was gone for a while. He would show me small bits of affection in his own way, he just mostly only likes my aunt.

I think a large part of it is that people hate that cats wont just do whatever they want. That cats have very much a mind of their own, and a language their own, and if you learn to at least understand it a little, you will find them very loving beings.

Idk, my heart melts when he meows to be held like a little baby, stares me in the face and slow blinks while gently with no claws places a paw on either side of my face and boops me with his nose. It's the cutest thing I have ever experienced.

i think what ppl who don't like cats do not understand is a cat will scuffle with u even if it likes u. sometimes more. a cat biting you or kicking you isn't because they hate u its because they are little predator animals and they like to play. they're also 2 feet tall and don't have hands and their mouth is the only thing they can Get Stuff with and it's full of tiny razor teeth. not their fault!!

[valdederon]

FLAMES JOURNEY CHAPTER #18 the new masters stuborn aprentice and new discoveries

a week after nova had been released from the medical wing she continues training with valdederon the inpatient riolu wanting nothing but to go after the fire type who attacked her tribe. agressivly trying to blow through her training to no avail.

nova--when can we actualy go out to do some field work.

valdederon-- when you land a successful hit on me.

she growls and folds her arms kicking a broken in half training dumby.

nova--- your traing is to hard i want to do somthing about that dam … ughh.

she charges at him bone rush in hand and is triped up as valdederon moves his staff out at an angle catching her foot as he walks to the side making her tumble into the wall with a loud thud and smack her and she holds her nose after getting up and tears giving him puppy dog begging eyes.

valdederon-- drop the begging act it will never work on me. im no stranger to the princess eyes… as for that fire type how thf fuk do you expect to find him let alone defeat him when you cant even land a single furr on me. im an outworlder witch makes me far mroe powerful then the avereage fire type i can use many abilties not from this world.

nova growls and in a fit of anger throws a powerful aura sphere i golden shining ball of fury that rips a hole in the wall as it explodes splinters of wood and stone exploding evrywere valdederon pouncing onto nova and slaming her to the ground as a sizable chunk of stone flies past them nova yelping and shaking heavily scared of the sudden and loud blast.

nova --..w…w..what was that.

valdederon gets up and lifts the shaking and near crying riolu cearly still not acustom to loud noises as thunderstorms havent hit the airea yet monsoon season only 6 months away.

valdederon---- you ok hun.. are you not good with loud noises

she doesnt respond untill valdederon flicks her nose bringing her out of her fightned trance and she pounces into his chest fluff sobbing taill firmly between her legs boddy shaking heavily and valdederon rembering his sister always cried during a storm and instinctualy sits down rubbing her back. for 2 hours nova cries untill she is out of breath and whimpering and blushing.

valdederon--- take awhile to settle nova.. i know how it can be not beeing used to loud noises i wont tell anyone about this ok im here for you

he continues to rub her back calming down from her scare when she finaly calms to sniffles and gets up out of his fur her blue face red with blush.

nova---i..im ..s..sorry ..i..

valdederon flicks her nose and puts his paw on hier muzzle softly

valdederon---- you dont have anything to apologize about.. lets go get some lunch.

she nods quietly and hides behind valdederons fluff as they walk to the mess hall while valdederon goes through his mind trying to rember were he knows that type of aura then he rembers angering raykore and yelps recoling when she slamed a smaller one in his chest the size of a pea knocking the wind out of him..

valdederon--ill definatly need to callout for help on this one.. that aura is out of my element.. radiance type aura is rare.. oh were here .. you sill with me nova.

nova--- yea.. im..s.sorry for the mess

valdederon--- dont worry about it.. tomorrow ill call for help on some one who can train your aura abilities far better then i could.. youl get to meat my old master… youl like here.. she kind of teases me alot but she can also be quite….um… youl see.

nova--- you had a master once..

valdederon nods picking her up and setting her in a lifted chair in the mess hall and gets a couple plates of some chease cake and gives her a slightly larger chease cake then him self

nova---what is this.

valdederon--- its chease cake and its verry tastey after what you went though just now you deserve a treat.

shea tastes some with her claw and begins to dig in messily enjoying the chease cake and swiftly forgetting about the scare from earlier making valdederon smile .

valdederon-- chease cake realy does heal the soul doesn it ha ha ha..

[max-greenfield]

Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far On Foot (2018) dir. Gus Van Sant

[filmstansdeserverights]

Actual photo of me waiting for Joaquin and Rooney to get married

[pigeons-sitting-on-branches]

Don't Worry, He Wont Get Far On Foot (2018) Gus Van Sant 04-03-2019 Some really dark humour is complimented with some real emotional moments

[everythingfilm806]

Movie of the Day: 12/25/18

"Don't Worry He Won't Get Far on Foot" (2018)

Director: Gus Van Sant

[ifilikeityoulikeit]

Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far On Foot - Teaser Trailer

[awkweirdme]

Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far on Foot (2018)

This was quite nice. As he’s proven several times by now, Gus Van Sant is really good at capturing humanity in a poetic and wonderfully simple way. Occasionally, it was a little too saccharine, but for the most part, it felt honest, if contrived. I enjoyed the structure of the story. Joaquin Phoenix and Jonah Hill were both really good. Not extraordinary, but very solid overall.

[inversio-somni]

[movieweb]

Amazon's Don't Worry Trailer Teams Joaquin Phoenix, Jonah Hill & Jack Black

Explore the true story of Portland cartoonist John Callahan and the tragedy that lead to his artistry in Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far On Foot.

http://movieweb.com/dont-worry-he-wont-get-far-on-foot-movie-trailer/

[quotesengage]

I took my first drink when I was thirteen. Thereafter, everytime I encountered emotional stress, I took another, and I continued literally “feeling no pain” for much of the next fourteen years. Feeling no pain meant never having to learn to cope with it. All the normal “growing pains” of adolescence and young manhood passed me by. I was now twenty-seven, but emotionally I was still a child.

Don't Worry, He Wont Get Far on Foot by John Calllahan

[symphonicmetal101]

Outdoor Forest Dates They Would Love

Im not saying stargazing

LUCIFER

- Fishing

- Dad sport

- Im not elaborating

MAMMON

- Trail blazing and/or hiking

- Are you kidding? This man has so much energy and curiousity, he would ADORE going hiking with you, whether that means along concrete paths in the woods or on foot through the woods and making your own path, he loves it.

- He also loves to do scavenger hunts with you, because the woods can be a treasure chest. It also helps him appreciate the little things he sometimes misses.

LEVI

- Canoeing

- Its peaceful, its just the two of you, its quiet, its beautiful oh fuck its really just the two of you

- gets a little flustered but eventually wants to show off in and with the water, manipulating it into whatever you want to see.

- Also has fun if both of you are trying to row and its been a while/youve never done it so it gets confusing shdbdjsj

SATAN

- Shelter construction

- He doesnt mind setting up a tent, yes he does, hes terrible at, but he likes the idea of implementing some ideas hes seen in his survival books.

- Also involves math and physics to a degree (haha) so hes all in

- gets a splinter in 0.003 seconds, doesnt make a big deal about it outwardly but internally screaming at the amount of f i l t h that just entere- oh you brough hydrogen peroxide and a bandaid, you're a life saver

-Ends up building a solid, warm and comfy shelter with you

-If it rains though, hes noping out of there

ASMO

- Wild berry picking

- ok yeah, hes a little worried about the juice

- and the bugs

- and his hands

- but nothing a small spell and cute gardening gloves cant fix.

- he loves having a competition to see who can pick the almost overripe berries without them falling apart

- at home he'll turn some into chapstick

- but for now he'll settle for the berry-flavoured kisses (after you guys wash the berries in some clean water from your water bottle bc I hc Asmo as a minor germaphobe)

BEEL and BELPHIE

- Campfire dinners and stories

- They go hand in hand so I'm not separating them

- Beel loves campfire dinners, and to hold you while Belphie tries to spook you a bit with some horror stories, before giving up and lying across your lap seeking your hand in his hair

- Smores will get all over all three of you, even if Beel is the only one eating them

BARBATOS

- Trapping/ knot practice/lashing (I was originally gonna do like...a botany scavenger hunt, which he would LOVE but I dont have the braincells beyond that idea)

- He enjoys trapping any animal in a humane manner in which they would die quickly, but if that makes you uncomfortable or sad he wont do it around you

- Instead he'll show you how to tie knots and lash things together.

- If you two keep at it, you'll have a solid shelter

- Ghost moment in which he'll come behind you and show you how to tie a few knots.

DIAVOLO

- Wood burning!!

- you had to find a way to cheer him up after he took the phrase "tree hugger" too far and demolished it

- but there were parts of the tree you were able to salvage, and with his help, cut into discs. (After you got him to stop crying because he killed the tree by accident)

- you explained how wood burning and a fire was different before he started using his magic to etch a somewhat lopsided smily face into his disc of wood

- its a work in progress but hes incredibly happy and hopes you are too

MEPHISTOPHELES

- Archery/Shooting practice

- He has a cane, which to me says his leg is gimped in some way- you can choose in what way or if hes just a fancy bitch

- but his upper body strength is better than his lower body, and not necessarily needing to walk or run makes target practice a fun thing for him to do outside other than horseback riding

- He'll want to show off just a bit first before showing you how to do it if you dont know already

- If you do, its gaaaaame on

SIMEON

- bird watching :)

- except this man is a disney fucking princess

- youre getting all the wildlife coming in

- gets very adorably excited at everything

RAPHAEL

- Meow meow I got no braincells

- collecting rocks?

- collecting rocks. Its an easy, repetitive and fun activity (for him) that helps take his mind off his past a bit

- loves using a rock tumbler later

LUKE (PLATONIC DATE)

- Tapping trees

- This kid would LOOSE IT (positive) if he got to make syrup with you

- you guys would get to make so many sweets with it together when its ready-

- I dont say maple specifically bc you can use different trees too

- So each date will be a different kind of tree so you can taste all the kinds of syrup!

SOLOMON

- BUG COLLECTING

- bugs are freaking cool and I like to think Solomon at least loves beetles

- so he would love going bug hunting with you

- if you dont like bugs he will convince you, or try to at least, to tolerate them. You've learned to tolerate him, havent you? How hard can a tiny bug be?

- totally wont take one home to scare the shit out of Asmo

THIRTEEN

- Rock climbing

- They are definitely a dare devil, and wont free climb only because you asked her not to. Please.

- She enjoys the rappelling part more than anything, and will hold you if you want it

Masterlist

- A lot of shouting because shes just...so happy to be up so high

- will fuck around a lot so you have to keep her safe...please...or join her

Anyways, hope yall enjoyed this! First piece with the newbies, Ive really only paid attention to Thirteen in the very very limited interactions I had with her so I apologize if theyre ooc

Remember you are loved and appreciated!

Masterlist

[dailytatsu]

Hello! I saw request were open so i was wondering if i could request some headcanons of the Archons and/or the Adepti meeting a God reader who is the God of Chaos and destruction. The reader is not a Archon tho and travels all over Teyvat cuz small bits of destruction were ever they go. They're pretty mischievous and somewhat smug but despite how they act they're actually a good person. They dont mean to cause problems(most of the time anyways) chaos follows them were ever they go. Idk if you have a character limit but if you do please tell me so i wont make a mistake again. And if there is you can just do Zhongli and Xiao. Optionally could you make them a dendro user, there not a lot of dendro content and if not thats fine. I understand. Could you make the reader Gn or Non-binary they/them pronouns please? If not male reader is totally fine. Im so sorry for the long post and I hope you have a good day/night!

Ohmy, it’s my first time just writing headcanons! I’m use to write a lot, so let’s hope I did it right (^ ^' )7

Thanks for the request! ✨

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[HC] God of Chaos! Reader and the Archons + Xiao

Characters: Zhongli, Xiao, Venti, Shogun Raiden (Ei).

Gn! Reader

I tried doing it with everyone but I’m no still that confident to try writing with some characters ＿|￣|○

Sorry for any mistakes!

Request are open!

Genshin Masterlist

Second part ->

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VENTI

To be honest, he didn't notice your presence at first. He had other concerns on his mind that day to perceive the chaotic (and slightly threatening) aura that Mondstadt was infected with that day.

Barbatos is a person of habit, so he couldn't help but be curious when the crowd in front of him began to look a little agitated instead of seeming to enjoy his lyre and his songs.

But then a series of domino events appeared in front of his very eyes.

The purity of the chaos was such that he felt overwhelmed, even without the white-haired boy around, if it wasn’t Bennett fault, then how was it possible for everything to be ruined in such a short time?

His patience ended when, out of nowhere, the strings of his lyre jumped close to his face as they snapped. Making that awful noise that couldn’t mean nothing good.

Okay, enough, who is messing around in here? No more joking in his nation!

He concentrated a little, a faint but unique presence kept his nerves on edge, as if he was being watched from afar. He moved away from the busy areas and then chased that ephemeral energy to the highest point of the church, where the bells were ringing in an irregular and stressful way.

Then he found you. Snoozing against one of the columns, somewhat tired because the trip you made to reach Mondstadt.

Surprisingly, Barbatos understood you since the first exchange of words. A god of chaos who was also a free spirit, you followed no rules ever written in Teyvat, and you had no plans to apologize for the mess you made.

Both of you were Zhongli’s worst nightmare, but that’s another story.

He managed to through your arrogance and your teasing nature that you, in fact, were a lonely spirit that liked to witness the life from above of everyone.

The difference between teasing someone accidentally and committing a crime was really visible, but he still couldn't help but feel like he should scold you after your mere presence messed up with the guild's baskets full of fish.

But hey! He also enjoy the company! Venti tried to teach you how to enjoy the calm and the whisper of wind, music can also contain chaos, feelings, old stories waiting to be told again, expressions and desire united, in a wonderful piece of-

As you yawned his lyre broke up again. Making clear the message.

Okay, not even God of Freedom and Wind can control chaos. Anyways, what a tragedy, but there’s nothing a simple bard can do, smh.

“Do you like kids, don’t you?” He said once, after a nice day of hearing him sing before your chaos reached his little concert. Again watching everyone from above on the hands of the statue, with your attention caught by some kids playing tag.

“… I don’t know what do you mean.” Once discovered you had no choice but to remain defensive, pretending to be disinterested.

“Heh, you aren’t a good liar.” It may not be the wisest thing to make fun of someone who could destroy the place where you were resting, but Venti was confident that he knew you well enough to know that you were not so explosive. “You know!, I just have some pieces, but I think it’s because they are little walking concentrations of pure and innocent chaos, am I wrong?”

He wasn’t, no at all. But you would never confess something that embarrassing.

This guy wrote a ballad about the days when Mondstadt got immerse with that strike of bad luck. Kind of an apology of not being able to handle the situation.

Now there’s the rumor that says that, every time somebody sings that song, something unlucky will happen in front of you.

The song is cursed.

One night when the moon was shining on the Cider Lake his well tuned ears distinguished a melody that was broken from time to time by the accidents of his performer, distracting him of his way to look for you.

It could be painful to listen to, but Venti could certainly feel the dedication of the one who was playing the imperfect song.

The ballad of the god of chaos, hummed like a lullaby that instead of making you sleep makes you question the events of the day. Wishing for the slightest thing to be different after an exhaustive week of peace and tranquility.

A lonely spirits cursing their existence, sitting in the highest point of a stranger’s palace, where you can reach the sky by only rising your hand.

The next day, Barbatos invited you to drink some wine, this time near Windrise to avoid accidents in the city.

As he almost dropped the bottle when a lot of slimes were attracted by your presence, he confirmed the theory about that the way to spend time with you would not be his personal definition of hanging out.

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ZHONGLI

Okay, there’s only two scenarios that could happened when you set a foot in Liyue.

Old man has a soft spot for you for being a relative young deity.

Or he’s always lecturing you for not having control of your aura and powers.

How u dare bringing chaos to the nation of order? It’s that a death wish?

Jokes aside, you’re not really a threat. And he could sense that after he saw how you tried to avoid having direct contact with the city. Rex Lapis found your silhouette jumping and crossing through the mountains until reaching the fairest point that allowed you to enjoy the view of the streets that were filled with life and light as the sunsets.

He even noticed how you sighed in frustration when a storm started out of nowhere. A rain dedicated just for the arriving of the God of Chaos. Not even bothering of getting shield, you stayed in your place to look at all the people who were getting back to their places.

The rain seemed to stop over your head, for a second was enough to stop you from being cruelly swamped by the very weather you had created. An elegant umbrella covered you, the long awaited surprise you expected from someone as outdated as Morax.

You looked up, and found his expression calm and attentive, watching you. As if he had made a great discovery that he could not believe

“May I have a moment of your time to keep you company? Letting out your sorrows in the middle of a torrential storm is not what I would recommend as way to spend a good day.”

“… What are you talking about? Get in your own business, old man.”

“Well, you should know that a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved.”

Next time you knew was that he was helping you to dry your hair with a towel once you let him guide you to his place.

Zhongli picked you up like a abandoned cat that day. Even if having you near meant to deal with new the roof leaks.

Also kept you away from Hu Tao, if you two ever get along for being partners in crime he would seal himself underground-

For all the time you spend exploring Liyue, there he was. Like a little kid showing his treasures. But also like a worried father looking after his child for them not to stumble making their first steps.

Look at you! Almost crushing those Treasure Hoarders when a bunch of rocks fell down after you jumped at the edge of the cliff.

Wait, no- come back here! You should verify the surroundings and be aware of the weight of your power if you’re going to explore in that bold way. You, chaotic brat.

Another one who believed fervently that your mood was to blame for the constant chaos you caused. He also tried to show you the wonders of peace and calm, teaching you how to prepare tea while listening to the storyteller (also both being a little far away from the rest of them, just in case).

He couldn’t help but sigh when the teapot arm broke as soon as you tried to serve the tea. What a waste, he thought.

You apologized to him, kind of stressed with yourself after you took all the pieces with your bare hands to run away with them. Leaving a confused Zhongli behind.

Next day you were back, with the teapot repaired and just like new.

He let out a lot of thankful words, some flattering and a lot more cheesy things that you never had received before.

With that unexpected affection you couldn’t help but react flustered; then a cat that was chasing a bird jumped through a lot of decorations and merchandise, almost starting a fire as the chained events kept going.

Yeah,, uh, Zhongli got some useful mental notes about you and your chaos that day.

Hey, before you go, want to make a contract? You won’t regret it!

But as the wandering spirit you were you had no problems in reject his offer, but also promising that you would visit Liyue if he wanted you to.

Of course he wanted! But.. maybe next time you should stay in Huaguang Stone Forest instead of roaming near the city,,

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XIAO

Tried to kill you.

I mean, your aura is threatening and full of a destructive energy, how is possible that you weren’t a demon to eradicate??

Sorry, but he had a point.

Your first met was on your way to reach Huaguang Stone Forest along with Zhongli for introduce you with the Adeptus.

Xiao, in the other side, thought that you were about to attack Morax from behind, so he just struck against you. With his polearm near to go through your chest, just stopped because you felt him before.

Lifting your hand at his direction, summoning chaos, this time, on purpose. The wind gained a wrathful nature and the biggest roots that were hiding under his feet rose to caught him.

And when you were about to hit each other Zhongli’s shield appeared just in time to separate both of you. Preventing a real catastrophic event.

Now stop fighting and introduce to each other.

Nice(n’t) to meet u.

What if you tried to awake Azhdaha to bring chaos and destruction to Liyue? What if you wanted to summoned Osial? What if… ?

Zhongli had to confirm and promise to him that those cruel possibilities won’t be a near future for respecting the real reason of your travel.

No matter if he wasn’t comfortable with your presence, it wasn’t his decision to allow you to roam freely, so he had to get use to it.

He immediately knew after hearing about your nature that was your fault that lately there were a lot more demons and monsters. Even his karma was getting more painful than usual.

(If you ever meet Hu Tao, please think twice before doing Xiao a prank)

You both didn’t interact a lot, and being honest, it was better that way.

He hadn’t a single intention of talking with you again until the day you were practicing the song that your Anemo friend taught you. By the other hand, Xiao noticed that the melody had the same nature as the one he once heard before being consumed by the karma.

It wasn’t a flute, but a worn lyre that was still in one piece after weeks of being repaired again and again.

“That song… ”

“Do you know it?” Xiao just nodded, staying in silence, being your very first audience even if you still have a lot to learn about playing a lyre.

It wasn’t as effective as the original, but was still… nice, kind of nostalgic.

Next morning, the Yaksha called for you. Made you stay still in the middle of a plain and then he disappeared of your sight.

He abandoned y- wait, what’s that? Why those monsters has that weird dark aura?

You were about to defend yourself until Xiao appeared back just in time to defeat them.

That day you became his personal bait for demons and monsters. Naturally you attracted chaos, so anyway you were, there will be also something to fight.

I guess this is your way to pay for all the troubles you made for him and his duty, so no complaining about it.

If you ask for a unexpected experience to Ganyu she would said that once she found both of you fighting along against the catastrophe, looking after each other’s back and almost having a perfect synchrony.

➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹ ➷➹➷➹ ➷➹➷➹ ➷➹ ➷

SHOGUN RAIDEN; EI

Also tried to kill you.

Well, the puppet tried to.

And then Ei tried when you had the opportunity of facing her.

But since killing a god just mean the releasing of a lot, pure, energy she couldn’t afford that risk, much less considering your “speciality”.

Who knows what would happen to Inazuma if your vital energy burst across the nation. Just like that old story about Sal Terrae and their goddess.

She just defeated you. Letting you rest and recovering in the midst of the plane of her reality within her mind. Your inert body in the middle of the battlefield as she kept meditating.

When you woke up she ignored your presence, but also denying your complaints about letting you go out back.

In her words, you were a burden, another enemy of eternity. Something as unpredictable as you and your “accidents” couldn’t get along with her utopia.

Ei could banish you from Inazuma, but she knows your type. Stubborn and not accepting the most simple orders to obey.

She knew that you would found a way to be back.

It’s better like this.

And in the hypothetical case of you being freed when she trapped the traveler (kicking you out) and then having a chance to see her again after the end of the war, then things would be somewhat different.

There’s not that much of civilization on some islands, so she allowed you to explore as much as your heart wanted. But if something serious happen, she promised that would end her work in the middle of the sea so your remains never be found.

Okay, message clear. Just do chaos near monsters and bandits, got it,,

Even if she wanted to spend some time with you and telling you some stories about Inazuma and other gods she couldn’t found the right time to call you at her presence.

As the current ruler of Inazuma she was busier than the rest of Archons you have meet. Maybe just some letters now and then like a way to keep a logbook, but not really a face to face talk.

Until she got the opportunity of a day off, just to found you messing around near some ruins. Trying to solve a puzzle before your speciality strikes in. The structure fell down after your fingertips reached the stone.

When the dust dissipated, you discovered her figure judging you from the other side of the remain ruins.

Give her a good reason for not errase you from the map, I dare u.

You felt the worst was about to come when Ei ordered you to follow her after a long sigh. Crossing her arms and starting to walk away from the bunch of old and worn rock.

Plot Twist, she actually invited you to rest under a tree, asking in her serene voice the reason for your journey and your origin. In such a direct way that it seemed more like a sentence than a talk to get to know each other better.

You answered what you could remember and then the silence stayed like the only way of interaction between you two.

Ohno, you know this pattern. Something’s about to happen-

“There is some strange beauty in the chaos, it may be the calm after the storm, but the catastrophe itself is seen as a necessary evil to appreciate the stillness. How much it would last until the lighting hit the valley?”

“So I arrived to keep order between the humans?”

Well yes, but actually no.

“… You see, if there is nothing but order and a lack of problems, mortals are likely to create them on their own. Their minds feels the need to be tested, to prove their worth, so I guess some of your chaos may be part of the history.”

“… then shall we take a walk in Inazuma?” You did not know if you were right, but you thought you saw a faint smile through his lips in the same way that lightning can be seen in the sky.

“I’ll allow it.” She said.

Her only condition was for you not to approach the huge boxes of fireworks down the street.

[reidsnose]

Window

overview: reader accidentally falls out of a window while having a late night talk with spencer (loosely based on the song: home by edward shapre and the magnetic zeros)

genre: angst? FLUFF

warning: blood, head injury, hospital visit, overdramatic reader thinks shes dying

a/n: i really really dont know if yall will like this but i do and i think its cute so please lmk what u think ab it :)

masterlist

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Spencer knew it wasn't the safest thing in the world. you did too. but something about sitting on the outside window ledge together, talking and laughing, was far too tempting of an offer to pass up. and besides, it was just over 6 feet off of the ground! whats the worst that could happen?

and so you sat, shoulders smushed together so you could both fit. a blanket wrapped around you both, keeping the cool night air locked out. however, you were so close together (and so flushed) that even without the blanket you'd both still be warm.

you adored nights like this with him, thinking to yourself how you got lucky enough to call him your best friend. to anyone else, it was obvious you two were deeply yet obliviously, painfully in love. you watched as he retold a memory he had of the two of you, eyes widening and hands peeking through the blanket to gesture wildly with each sentence. though you were listening to the story, growing more and more fond of the memory now that it was being told from his perspective, you couldn't help but be distracted by him. his essence. his being. he was...intoxicating.

and then he cut to the punch line and looked to you for a reaction, watching beauty radiate from you as you threw your head back and laughed. he didn't even realize how funny it was until he saw how hard you were laughing. and then you snorted, which of course caused you to laugh more. with tears nearly coming out of your eyes, you wrapped your hands around your aching stomach, trying to control your laughter and completely forgetting that you needed your hands to keep you balanced on the window.

he took you in, a tranquility like no other filling his heart.

and then it happen.

in slow motion he watched you lose your balance, unable to catch his grasp as you fell towards the ground outside. fear coursed through his veins as he tried to calculate every possible out come. and then suddenly time was back to normal, and you were on the floor, a fresh cut on your head.

without missing a beat he jumped out after you, landing far more gracefully than you had.

you felt him lift your head into his lap, barely hearing his muffled words. you nodded when he asked if you could hear him for the fourth time. and then you felt some blood trickle down your face. and you did not do well with seeing your own blood.

that was it. you were gonna die. you never told him how you felt and you were going to die. you could even feel death pulling on your eyelids.

in reality, you had landed on your hip and your head hit a pointy rock. it felt like hell but medically you would be just fine. it looked a lot worse than it actually was, head injuries produce far more blood than other body parts.

spencer knew this as he peeled the cardigan off of his shoulders, bunching it up and applying pressure to your wound.

he picked you up bridal style, trying hard to cradle your head at the same time. he was beyond relieved at how relatively minor this was going to be. you would heal, and you would be ok. he got to his car and gently placed you in the passenger seat before running to the drivers side and taking off as fast as he possible could.

"Spencer," you rasped.

"don't talk very much right now. don't worry i'm going to get you to the hospital just stay awake for me you've probably got a concussion." he explained, looking over worriedly.

"im going to die." you told him, your brain feeling foggy from seeing your own blood.

"no you wont. i promise you wont die."

you went on telling him again and again how you would die and how the team shouldn't cry for you. and he patiently explained every time that you would be ok. and as he carried you into the ER you took one look at the cardigan that had rested against your forehead and convinced yourself 110% that you were on your death bed.

so it was now or never.

"Spencer before i die i want you to know that i love you. i always have. i just had to get it off my chest before i left this world with you still in it." you blurted as the doctors began to take you away.

he stood there, mouth agape at your confession.

"she is not going to die." one of the doctors reassured Spencer before turning on his heels and jogging to catch up with the rest of them.

it had to have been the loss of blood. or maybe a concussion fogged your thinking. or maybe he's in shock and he's hearing things. because there is no possible way that that just happened.

and so he sat in the waiting room for nearly an hour while they stitched up your head, nervously tapping his foot to match the pace of his racing thoughts.

he was thinking through every single moment the two of you had ever shared, wondering if-hoping that there was some truth to your confession, when they called out your name. he shot up faster than he ever had before, even getting a little light headed at the sudden quick stance.

he walked in to see you sitting up, drinking some apple juice that the nurses had brought you. and even then, in a hospital bed with half a dozen stitches in your forehead, you looked more beautiful than ever. he was astonished. absolutely astonished at just how radiant you were. your eyes twinkles as you smiled at him.

"so false alarm.. i didnt die." you joked, trying to hide your embarrassment, handing him a hospital issued jello.

"im so glad youre ok. you know i told you from the start we shouldnt have sat on the window," he chuckled, eyes feeling teary for a reason unknown to him.

"i know i know, you're always right." you giggled a little before wincing in pain from it.

his hand came up and lightly brushed your hair back, soothing you so much your eyes immediately fluttered closed. he had to bring it up, he had to know.

"did you mean it?" he asked.

you tried to control your heart rate while you played it dumb, "well yeah i really did think i was going to die."

"thats not what i meant."

"i know." you admitted. "yes. i meant it. i still mean it and if thats weird for you and you want to leave i completely understand-"

he cut you off by pressing his lips to your own, soft but passionate, tasting of jello.

it was a better profession of love than any speech he could try to make. because regardless of how many big words he used, it wouldn't be enough. not to mention that being around you makes his brain turn into mush, rendering it completely useless.

your heart rate monitor started going absolutely wild, beeping quickly and erratically. you both started laughing into the kiss, reluctantly pulling away. euphoria coursed through your veins, two lovesick bozos in the hospital.

you two talked for a little, buzzed from the kiss., smiling like a couple of idiots. but you were happy. sitting in the hospital with a cracked open head and you were still happy. because Spencer was there. and he makes you happy.

after talking to the doctor and a phone call with hotch, you were told to take two weeks off of work. spencer insisted that he go home early every day so he can come over and take care of you. and that was fiinnneee by you.

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ultra mega super cool taglist:

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @s1utformgg @violetspoetic

[roblox-milf]

How to escape from yandere izuku works 100% every time

are you tired of planning an escape for months, building a bobby pin from a fork you stole, and pretending that you like being stalked? well say no more:

step 1.

when you wake up, most likely in his bed and he says hi ily just say ‘no inglés por favor gracias“ and he’s gonna be like 🤨🤨 wtf did you just say??

so while he’s distracted translating what you said through Google, you should use that time to roll off your socks and grip his rock hard sleep apnea pillow with your double-jointed Toes And get ready to swing.

and once he turns around, you throw that pillow at Mach 1, make a dent in his frontal lobe, discombobulate his hairline.

if he dodged/caught the pillow:

izukus relatively level-headed and calm, and sees you as a nothing short of a divine being that, as far as he's concerned, can do no wrong, so when he looks back and forth from the steaming pillow to you, he will wait for an explanation.

at this point, you wanna start using body launguage, wave your hands around, and muster the most apologetic face you can while saying a bunch of random shit that will force izuku to once again translate.

ex: "ja mappelle el churro mi gusta casa es familia lo siento burger yum yum sphagettti aaa"

even if he might not know what the hell your saying, he'll pick up on your apologetic body movements, and shake his head and reassure you with nervous hands waves that your good, theres nothing to worry about!

so while hes busy putting whatever mouth gravy you spat out through google translate, its gon be harder to do something as he'll nervously glance your way every 2 seconds.

but you have to remember: be creative.

shout at him and get his attention.

when he looks at you, point to your lower half and signal hey i have to take a fat shit can i go?? and 10 times of 9 he'll be like yeah ofc bb :DDDD

so when your in the bathroom, he wont watch you, thats creepy and not cool.

instead he'll make you keep the door atleast 1 foot open.

so when your in the bathroom, you gotta be fast and quick.

first off, start grunting and blowing raspberrys in the air, slap your thighs n shit just make sure that it sounds like you are taking a horrendous doo-doo.

while you do that, look around, a stray bobby pin or knife will do just fine. and once you find something akin to that, hide it in the waistband of your mom jeans that you are definitely totally wearing.

if you couldnt find a stray bobby pin or something sharp:

flush yourself down the toilet, your done.

If you did:

when you get out, point behind him and when he looks, with no hesitation, you stab both his eyes and get arrested for murdering number 1 hero deku after nobody belived that he kidnapped you, and live the rest of your life in prision questioning your life choices.

If everything went according to plan from the beginning:

after hitting him with the pillow, if everything went alright, he should be on the ground passed out.

He'll probably have you in like, hello kitty handcuffs or sm but thats okay, all you need to get out of any restraintments is this one trick!

eat through it.

so once your done, your gums might be bleeding and if your lucky you'll have a mild case of tetanus and rabies.

but thats ok! you can replace your teeth, but you cant replace your freedom.

Now you should disarm izuku.

this dudes stronk as hell, and for bonus points he crazy so you have to be creative.

go to the bathroom and put a chair infront of the shower and turn it on, so it sounds like the water is hitting something solid.

then, drag his ass to the bed and burrito him up in blankets, and then leave a note next to him along the lines of 'get some rest babe, ily -y/n p.s. if im still in the shower when you wake up just make dinner and wait, sorry if i dont respond if you call out to me lol im deaf'

ideally, if and when he wakes up he'll read the note and think 'oh i guess we dating idk why i cant remember but oh well yay'

best case scenario, that should keep him from being sus for like 6 hours before he starts feeling like somethings up.

So, your inside his house, check urself for any tracking devices cause hes a sneaky hoe, and then steal his money, get food, preferably beans, knife for protection, (also hide a fork in your sock just in case), and skedaddle.

so after crawling through a 2 by 2 inch doggy door, haul your ass to a salon and completely change yourself, new hairstyle, straighten/curl your hair, go bald, just look different.

after getting your cut, you should wear a mask and sunglasses, in the world of bnha little things like that wont be looked at twice as people would just assume it has something to do with your quirk.

now, create as much distance between yourself and izuku's totally alive body. By taxi is the best option, they will take you across the ocean as long as you pay.

by now, you should realize that you'll never truly escape him completely, you will have to start a new life and never talk to your family again, yes your away from him, but in a way, he's still always there.

That and he also implanted a tracker in your stomach so you were never really getting away in the first place.