#dont try to reason w me rn im a lost cause

[bunnyboy-juice]

;~; (tags vent)

[twitchmattentusiast]

https://www.tumblr.com/twitchmattentusiast/767636340288405504/right-now-im-in-a-slump-because-i-dont-know-what

i honestly don’t even know atp LMAO 😭 since 8th grade until the beginning of senior year this year i wanted to go into political science and be a legislative assistant but the pay isn’t that good and i live in southern california where everything is so expensive 😭😭 i’m currently also taking AP Government which made me realize that i have to memorize so much shit and i have the worst memory ever soooo that discouraged me as well lmaoaoaoa and i honestly don’t even know if i’m interested in that field anymore :/

it’s completely normal to lose interest in subjects!!! sometimes it can be because of burnout or whatever reason. i lost a lottt of interest in my fav subjects after covid. i would js think about what you enjoy doing and stick w that. i definitely recommend talking to your parents ab a gap year tho js so your not so burnout when college comes round especially if ur not sure on what you want to do. have you tried looking at courses? i didn’t know exactly what i wanted to do but once i looked at them i managed to narrow them down based on what i actually liked. if it were up to my family id be studying to be a doctor rn but i can’t do maths, i hate needles and can’t deal w blood so id be a lost cause but please try and talk to them maybe if you explain it might go well? xx

[enlighten3d]

I thought it was pretty clear how Ken became maskless: Death is the Cure

with that context, I do think that happened pretty recently, given that the guard was talking about the mission to kill Ken was recent, and also none of the destruction outside was fixed

also, the I Have Escaped Every Prison (for now) is in the lore playlist, making me think that those escapes were at least mostly canon, and they were mostly done from outside of the prisons (including an escape from Gaia's Vault IBSMISOW that takes several months). This would fit better as escapes that happened before he got the mask (also the train escape memories included these sorts of escapes)

the mask does seem to erase some memories, as seen with Wato's confusion when dumped into the escape room in kww colab (as seen in Wato's video on how to make an escape room, which I think follows his memories), and also everything with Omz. (Though both were when they wore the mask)

However in Death is the Cure, Ken lost all his memories, which seems more like the memory thing in the Train Escape, especially since the cell probably isn't his respawn point. Also Sven's memory thing seems derived from the mask's power, given that it uses a hopper.

so the timeline that I see is 1: they kill Ken, 2: find him and erase memories, 3: Death is the Cure 4: get him to the train 5: Train Escape

(Also the last thing I remember Ken saying about Daedalus Escape is that it's never coming out unless lore won in a poll, and it absolutely lost)

(this is in reply to my theory about how the mask doesnt actually cause memory loss; here)

okay, fascinating. good point about the destruction outside not being fixed.. hadnt thought about that! okay so i guess then one could say that they lost the mask recently, but. thats still fucking odd to me. because why else would the guard mention that theyve tried to contain him in like. Many Different Prisons, out of which theyve all escaped. dont see any reason why theyd actively be trying to contain him beforeee the Destruction? so. whenever it was that they lost the mask, they deffo were captured a Bit ago, id say. even tho the destruction is recent. i guess with all the devastation, ppl hadnt gotten around to fixing it up? i dont know, mate. but. them losing the mask recently doesnt make that much sense (even w how you mentioned that all the escape videos were probably Beforehand. like. sorry i am not good at articulating this point.)

yeah were pretty much in agreement! that how ken loses all their memories is the memory cannon (which, yeah id be willing to believe is somehow connected to the hoppers, given the hopper in it)

them dying while captured in order to lose the mask is like. a necessity for shit to make sense, but. the person who killed them would then have the mask. and we dont see anyone w the mask... and someone else getting the mask would be dangerous. im. what im saying here is that we know HOW ken loses the mask (via dying to the ppl trying to capture + stop him from destroying everything), but not to WHO.

OKAY NOW THE HTING ABT WATO. this is bothering me in general. bcs yes ik that watos kww videos do show that their memories got MASSIVELYYY fucked w after they lost the mask, but. i remember that in the livestream after the original videos were released, it was mentioned how watos videos are the least likely to be canon. personally im just. kind of ignoring it rn, ill worry abt it later.

i really dont think the mask causes memory loss because- omz, when he lost the mask, was NOT acting like someone who just lost fuck knows how long worth of memories. he acts like someone who was AWARE the whole time and finally was released from a Curse that he was actively fighting against. i really dont think that he lost his memories. i really personally dont think the mask causes memory loss, imo its all the memory cannon thing? we DO know that hoppers can cause memory loss (as per the dementia cannon we see in the omziscool finale (or the hopper escape? i forget which one)). its all the hoppers, not the mask. the mask is like... the conduit for the hoppers power? doesnt cause memory loss on its own.

so w the wato thing, i. genuinely dont know. its tripping me the fuck up. bcs theres also. ken forgot EVERYTHIING about who they were when blasted w the memory cannon (in the train escape and prolly right before death is the cure). wato did NOT forget everything abt who she was. they remembered bits and pieces.. almost like how omz remembered everything while he was under the masks power, but its... distorted in watos case.

best i can say there is that theres an external force of some sort playing there? prolly some evilfies bs. its reasonable to blame everything that makes no sense in kww collab onto evilfies LMAO

another thing: how the FUCK did the mask get from whoever killed ken to wato? bcs. we can very very reasonably assume that the mask cannot be taken off the person wearing it. the person has to be killed, and then whoever kills them gets the mask. and then wreaks havoc. so whoever got the mask from ken WOULD have been wearing it and WOULD be up to no good. so. we dont know Anything about that. evilfies ig /hj

in conclusion: OUR THEORIES ARE VERY VERY SIMILAR. sorry if i worded anth wrong in that theory post sdhlfjaksdf. ALSO SORRY IF I WAS JUST REPEATING MYSELF OVER AND OVER IN THIS REPLY; I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS

the timeline imo (theres two places that ken couldve lost the mask, so ill write it twice): - ken kills omz - gets the mask - Mass Destruction - [someone kills ken and gets the mask from them] - ken gets put in a few prisons out of which they escape - [someone kills ken and gets the mask from them] - bcs they keep escaping, their memory is wiped using svens (hopper-powered) memory erasing cannon - death is the cure (destruction outside hasnt been fixed yet ig? maybe ken temporarily escaped...) - train escape (during which their memory gets erased at least once)

its. flimsy. but the different ways that ppl lose their memory in this lore (aka the forgetting Eveyrhitng of the memory cannon vs the Most Things Of A Specific Time Period that wato forgets supposedly due to the mask) really make me doubt that the mask causes memory loss. shrugs

(also RIPPP on the daedalus thing. that is tragic ): )

[coastxlwaters]

*cough* hullo i hope this isnt a strange or rude thing to say- but as like. a person from the side of sams who likes to ship things, i very much love and appreciate how kind you are!!! some people who dont like to ship things (which is 1000% okay btw, we all have our preferences) are. very big on harassment (and so are some people who *do* ship things, to be fair), but you are just. a nice person!!! ive seen you advocate to leave shippers alone and to not harass them, and that you should just block people you dont agree w instead of pestering them. and i thank you for that a whole lot, sincerely!!!

okay thats it buh bye

-bird

You just made my day, its not weird! I love to get these kinds of things, and yes im against harassing others for their own preferences. I do not like to make my blog about this stuff, and i do follow many shippers! Their art is super cool, and i just avoid the shipping parts they make. I mean, im not a romantic shipper (other than solruin) but i do have a QPR ship of dark sun/solstice x eclipse. I have lost many, many followers and mutuals from that and i dont want other people to have that feeling of dread or sadness when they watch their follower count go down or be blocked by sm they would once call their friend. It really does hurt even if you understand the reason why.

I do draw the line of shipping when it comes to minor x adult though, so i am not some amazing person who has the ability to forgive everything. I appreciate that i have had several asks like this that have made it seem like that, but i am not that great of a person.

I also think there are some that do not ship that go and harass others that dont ship under the disguise of being sm who does ship so it throws more hatred to the ones who do ship and enjoy that. I think that as i have seen it happen many times IRL and in other fandoms. Its a way to make the other side look bad, it usually works.

Im not saying that shippers do not harass, as i have seen some that do, but i am saying both sides are in the fault here.

Im adding this here:

Do. Not. Hate. The. Show. For. Disliking. Some. Ships.

They are real people who also have boundaries and preferences, we understand that yall ship the characters and not the VAs (i mean, some have done that and you really shouldnt do that) but think of it like this.

You and your sibling/close friend (just sm who you dont feel romantic attraction to) make ocs, you post them online. Then people start shipping them. You would get uncomfortable, right? Since a part of your brain is thinking: “but me and my (non romantic partner) dont like eachother like that, but now yall are making this stuff and making us uncomfortable.“

Ofc i feel as if the VA’s could have handled some things better, but we are all human and make mistakes. Just dont bring them into this. So tag your stuff correctly, do not harass, and enjoy the stuff that you enjoy and ignore the stuff you dont. Thats what you call basic human decency, you can be mad at them all you want in your head as long as you dont say it.

Sorry for the long rant, but i cant reblog stuff like this due to being blocked by people who do say stuff like this so i wanted to get this out and on my blog. And i swear to god do not go annoy or harass the people who do say this stuff and saying “why did u block this person!“ they have their reasons for blocking me and others and we should respect them. I have seen people who do this and i dont like it. So dont go harass another person for blocking sm you may think is nice. For all you know i could be a bitch and asshole irl and they know me irl and thats why they blocked me.

Dont harass or get angry at sm until you can see it from their point of view. Since you dont know what they are seeing that you are not.

(but this ask did make my day! Im literally so happy rn cause i try to practice what i preach but smt i feel like i fail or do the wrong thing that makes me look like a hypocrite!!)

[jenanddomo]

6.28.23

11:39pm

hey, its been a long time since i actually put something!

lets start w love life

so i got w my bf lol in early april! he so sweet n cute. he fr has the best version of me he so lucky

the reason y i say he so lucky bc i fr try my hardest not to be ugly or mean to me, he doesn’t deserve that. me n him r doin well :) prob bc it jst the beginning still but even then i tell him everything lol , i told him my darkest secrets n stuff (i thought he was gon be a stranger) but we always havin convos. i sleep w him once a week sometimes two, he so comfortable to sleep with.! i love to be ard him, we do little cute dates n i drove us to the movies to watch elemental it was so cute! so rn thats good

i treat him super good, im super honest w him n i jst cant lie to him:( i tell him the truth eventually. i only lie to him to mes w him like sum stupidddd

but thats that

mentally

i have been doin great actually! i dont feel miserable or depressed, empty, like im so happy now! life is great, i love everyone ard me :) every1 so great their hasnt been anyone so negative uk? im also very real to myself i accepted n jst found peace within myself

so thats good

pets

my two og cats died my spooky n kingking:(

i miss them very much i miss my black n orange cat they were like ying n yang . i miss their cute little personalities they were the best

but now a general

post

lets talk abt what i think and stuff

so i moved on lol as i said i found peace within myself , lookin at the old posts,, gosh who let me cook,,, i saw old posts, messages, and everything n its so crazy how much i changed in 5 months really. lookin at how immature i was , i was so clueless and stupid and lookin back at it now it likes been there uk? it was never a good thing from the get go:) i accepted that, i also accepted i used to be a bad person to but ik i got so much better, the guy im w he makes me want to be a better person.

eating? i dont eat anymore lol, i still eat below like 1000 cals , like every 2 weeks i will eat above it butttt idk! honestly in only this month i lost 8-9 lbs:) so now im 142 yippe yayayay my goal weight is 120-130 so in total i lost 38 lbs which is crazy. when my bf met me i was above 155 so im pretty happy w that

my life been so peaceful and im jst so glad alot of ppl left my life this year before i graduated, n im thankful for those ppl too without yall i wouldnt be who i am today uk? yes i was mad, childish and everything, that part it jst sum i still need to work on bc i do have anger issues. but even then i dont like arguing anymore or jst fightin in general, yea thats what i learned what to do but its not worth it uk? on my insta reels i see some relatable posts that i relate to so much im jst like awh:3

im glad im jst not how i was before uk? rn im jst so calm, i dont feel empty no more , i actually starting to feel motivation to do sum, i want to do sum w my life and i want to help others ard me.

when it was my last day of school, it was supposed to be “sad” but i was so happy bc i donated blood n my blood helped someone:D i was so happyyy like jst helpin other ppl makes me ecstatic.

i also quit smoking so im proud of myself for that:) i do have moments where i wan do it n stuff but im like no drugs bad n the only bad thing i do is drink, but even then im trying to stop that too bc their was one week were i drank everyday but i told myself i dont wan be like my dad so i kind of stopped.

my music taste is different then it was 5 months ago.

i have 2 new cats gizmo n walter.

im jst so happy rn lol i dont know what to say:3

but im glad for what happened to me , im glad i went through stuff when i was a kid, im glad i finally even opened up abt it to someone im jst so glad everything happened bc i jst wouldnt be who i am now

i guess

im just tryin to be a bigger better person

i dont want to be childish no more i dont want to fight i dont want to hit or argue or cause shit on purpose

lately i been emotional but i think

i jst need it bc im jst so glad how open i am w all that stuff rn

i also finished king of the hill lol i dont know if i put that

[b0nywh0res]

hi!! so since im not active 24/7 anymore i feel like u missed a lot so little update!!

i lost most of my friends. ive had so many depressive episodes and then weird episodes where i would hate them and want them to die. so ig it makes sense but also they know that i have these episodes but wtv not everyone can handle that and i respect that. they didnt have to be such bitches abt it tho. i got them muffins as apology bc i rlly cant control those episodes and they fucking rolled their eyes at me. girl. ur acting as if ur not fucking toxic urself. at least own it omg.

L and i got sooo close irl. shes been way more touchy w me which i rlly appreciate bc its so comforting and makes me feel so much more loved than just words.

and uhm. today was the worst day of my life. i had a panic attack during english class so i left and decided to skip the next period which is allowed if ur in a bad mental state. i told a teacher and he was like okay fine but for some reason the secretary still called my mom? she was so mad bc she doesnt believe in mental illnesses and all that yk so i was too scared to go home. i told my homeroom teacher and she said that there was obv a bigger underlying issue that was causing this. i basically started sobbing and she was so kind to me and hugged me. she even started crying w me oml.

she said that one of the teachers saw me looking at pro-ana sites in class(probably tumblr i hate yall LMAO) and they told her. she wouldnt tell me who it was. if i find out who snitched i will hshdhsjdh. i fr cant let anyone know abt my ed but god i was so close to telling her everything.

she said that i dont have any adults in my life who i can rely on and that i carry way too much for a teenager. shes getting me a school therapists and tbh i dont think itll help much bc ive had a few before but shes so nice to me so ill try. idk if im ready to talk abt my ed yet but i def want to do smth abt my mood swings and everything that comes w it. its so tiring.

she couldnt rlly do anything abt my moms anger so she told me that it was just one day and that i could get through it and i would speak w her again tmr. heating her say that was a real relief ngl. my mom hasnt ever been this mad(except for that one time 3 years ago when she wouldnt allow me anywhere but the attic for 3 weeks) and its rlly scary. home situation isnt great and school isnt either but god id do anything to be at school rn.

all in all life still sucks, i love L and now im starting school therapy. woohoo.

[shes-ddreaming]

the eyes that lost you ➸ lee donghyuck

i.

✧ destination ↬ best friends to lovers + fluff, angst,,, all that jazz yak

✧ a party of two for ↬ lee donghyuck x reader

✧ duration of flight ↬ 2.5k

✧ in stereo ↬ exo - what if

✧ in which your best friend donghyuck decides to pretend to be someone else’s boyfriend, leaving you to confront the only thing you’ve been avoiding your whole life—your feelings for him.

donghyuck had confessed to you a long time ago. and if you only knew that you’d be hurting like this now, you would’ve said yes to him in a heartbeat. but you didn’t; you had decided that your friendship was more important than anything, rejecting your best friend’s confession.

he took your rejection lightly, telling you that your friendship was just as important to him as it was to you. “look, y/n, i love you not because i had any intention of making you my girlfriend, but because... i love you for .. you. and if you’d much rather stay friends, then i’m all for it. i’ll be your best friend—whatever you want me to be, i’ll be.” he was sincere, and you appreciated that more than anything. you were more than grateful that donghyuck understood your reasoning behind the rejection.

and a day later, things went right back to normal, never a moment of awkwardness. he was still the same best friend you’ve had since you came out of the womb. it was as if his confession never happened.

and that’s all it took for you to make lee donghyuck your best friend for life. he was your constant, the one person in your life who has always stayed by your side. so many of your friends have come and gone, but donghyuck wasn’t one of them.

here you were, not even 3 years later, your eyes were on your best friend whose hair has grown a little longer from how it was when he confessed. he’s a lot taller now, standing a good 6 inches or so above you. it seems like a lot about him has changed, and his feelings for you were not an exception. but there was one thing that could never change, and that was you being his best friend.

the object of his lingering glances is no longer you, but it just had to be kang mina. you weren’t surprised—she was annoyingly pretty, smart, and funny. not only that, she happened to be the class president. donghyuck? vice president. everyone called them a match made in heaven. you hated how you felt when he was around her. you hated how your heart would fall every time you caught sight of him stealing glances at her. it wasn’t fair. it wasn’t fair to donghyuck. what right do you have to catch feelings for him when you let him suffer from his feelings for you for so long?

the guilt had eaten you up for a long time. you liked to believe that your suffering now was your way to repay the pain you caused donghyuck for liking you without any reciprocation all those years.

he always reminded you that he was alright with the way you two were, that you rejecting him didn’t hurt him as much as you thought it did, that he was glad you two were best friends. but it was hard to ignore his obvious feelings for you. you knew deep down that you were hurting him by staying friends, but he never complained. he quietly loved you until he developed feelings for someone else.

it was your turn to realize your feelings, only now it’s too late. you’re in love with your best friend but he’s in love with someone else.

however, it probably wouldn’t hurt as bad if he hadn’t been fake dating her. maybe then you wouldn’t see him in so much pain. you couldn’t bear to witness seeing him doing anything and everything for her when she doesn’t even feel the same way, just like he did for you.

“you’re a hypocrite,” mark says as you bore your heart and soul to him. these days, donghyuck sits with mina at lunch to continue to play the little charade they’ve been onto for weeks. mark lee has been your rock these past few months, always quietly listening to you and offering—what he would call—words of wisdom. you couldn’t count how many times you’ve gone to him to talk about your conflicting feelings about donghyuck. “be honest with me. is the fact that you’re no longer the object of lee donghyuck’s desire the driving force of what you think are your feelings for him?”

leave it to mark lee to be brutally honest with his stupid rhetorical questions. you sigh, putting your head down on the cafeteria table. you were a shitty person, a terrible, shitty person. you feel your lunch tray being moved away from your head. “do i have lettuce in my hair?” mark laughs at you, slapping your shoulder in the process.

“you did. but, i took it off of your hair, dumbass,” he softly pats your head like one would do to a crying toddler. “look, i’m sorry if that was a little mean. i hope i didn’t hurt your feelings or anything.”

“nah, it just got me thinking. do you think i’m projecting my desires of wanting a

boyfriend onto hyuck? or maybe i’m friend-jealous and i’m mistaking it for being in love with him?” you once again steal a glance at the boy who has been all over your thoughts lately and your heart disagreed. whatever these feelings were, they’re definitely not friend-jealousy or whatever mark had called it. you knew in your heart that you loved him.

“oh god i wanna die, i want to actually fucking die.”

mark has this amused look on his face as he helps you pack up once the bell rings for 4th period. “stop thinking about it for now, alright? we can get ice cream after school, it’s on me. i think i owe you.” he takes the textbook you were holding out of your hands and carries it for you, as he reaches his hand out for your backpack. you roll your eyes, taking it off and handing it to him. this was beginning to be a routine for you two whenever you’re sad. mark never lets you carry anything and always walked you to class.

“what did i do to deserve a mark lee?” you wonder out loud, followed by a kick to your shin from mark. you immediately took back what you said. “suddenly i don’t remember ever being friends with a kid named mark.” you hear his obnoxiously loud laugh and shake your head.

“shut up, loser!”

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: KDKDKD come heRE

[you questioned: “KDKDKD come heRE”]

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: STOP DOING THOSE REACTION THINGS AND REPLY FJDKDKDKD

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: PLEASE Y/N OH MY GOD

you: WHAT

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: pls come down to my floor rn i need sugar

you: what the fuck

[full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖 disliked “what the fuck”]

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: I PROMISE YOU’LL GET TO HAVE SOME OF THE COOKIES I BAKE

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: I RAN OUT OF SUGAR I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE 😔🙏🏽

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: I HAVE A COUNCIL MEETING IN LIKE 2 HOURS AND I NEED TO HAVE THE COOKIES DONE BY THEN

you: oh shit i just checked i dont have any sugar

[full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖 disliked “oh shit i just checked i dont have any sugar”]

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: god why didn’t apple give the people™ the option to disheart something

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: you had one job

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: ONE JOB

you: KDKSKSKS IM SORRY LMFAO

you: ALSO I DONT EVEN THINK DISHEART IS THE RIGHT TERM FOR IT

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: come to the grocery store w me 🥺👉🏽👈🏽

you: fine 😔

“hey, neighbor!” you hear donghyuck yell from his door as you hold the button that keeps the elevator doors open.

you can already hear mark arguing “you two technically aren’t even neighbors! he lives like two floors below you!”

while donghyuck counters back saying, “yeah but if she lived on my floor then we would live right next door to each other!” you can recall this exact confrontation when the three of you were in 3rd grade.

you and donghyuck have lived in the same apartment building your whole lives—which is also a big reason as to how the pair of you reached best friend status.

“let’s go before the sun starts setting!” he was smiling as he ran towards you and you couldn’t even deny that your heart was doing backflips.

“hurry up before i let go of this button and leave you there,” you threaten him and he laughs, pretending to walk in slow motion. you let go of the button and the elevator doors begin to close in on each other, prompting a loud gasp from donghyuck as he runs as fast as he can to reach the doors before they close completely.

“y/n, what the fuck!” he cries once he reaches the doors and they open back up again. he had his hands on his knees in an attempt to catch his breath and you couldn’t contain your laughter. “i hate you, oh my god! i busted a lung out there trying to catch up to the elevator. i can’t believe you’d do that to me.” you were both laughing now and you watched as he pretended to sob.

the doors of the elevator opened back up once you reached the lobby and donghyuck takes this as an opportunity to run away from you to get to his car before you could beat him there.

he had his payback when he locked the doors before you could even open the door to his car, leaving you there for a good two minutes, yelling “karma, bitch!” before finally letting you in.

“you’re insane!” he just laughs at this, and you two call a truce to stop pulling pranks on each other for the duration of your grocery trip.

“alright, alright. i’ll go drop the sugar off to my house and i’ll meet you at the rooftop,” you nod, waving goodbye to him as he steps foot off the elevator with the grocery bag in his hand and you continue up to the penthouse floor.

you really didn’t know if this was legal. if you were being honest, you had a feeling you were putting your parents’ lease on the line every time you snuck onto the rooftop. you made your way out of the penthouse floor, opening the doors to the fire escape before you were finally met with the stairs that lead up to the rooftop.

you smiled as you looked up to the sky with its various shades of blue, purple, and pink. it was your senior year of high school and you knew you’d miss this once you left home.

you: HURRY UP THE SUN IS SETTING REAL QUICK

you: it’S NOT GONNA WAIT FOR YOUR SLOW ASS

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: FUCK FUCK FUCK WAIT IM PUTTING THE COOKIES IN THE OVEN FIRST

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: TELL THE SUN TO SLOW DOWN 😤😤 damn even the sun has no pATIENCE

you: damn riGHT so if you don’t hurry up you’re gonna miss it 😔

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: ALR ALR THEY’RE IN THE OVEN I’M USAIN BOLTING OUTTA HERE

and usain bolt, he did. donghyuck soon opened the doors out of the fire escape, finally getting a glimpse of the sky as the sun started to set. you seemed to have not noticed him, eyes focused upwards onto the sky.

he stopped in his tracks. donghyuck liked to think he no longer had any feelings for you. “not even any residue,” he would tell himself. but he couldn’t lie that there were some moments that he’d wish you had felt the same way as he once did. this exact moment would make it on that list. you looked cute. your small figure was a good ten feet away from him but despite the distance, he just knew there was no other place you’d rather be at the moment.

“finally!” you yell as he made your way towards you. “i was ready to lasso the sun and keep it here until you got your ass up here.”

he was staring at you, a small smile adorning his features. if the word fond could be personified, it would probably be this exact face he was making.

you finally let go of the breath you had been holding when his eyes leave your face and instead focus onto the sky. “god i’m gonna miss this.”

“the sky? i was thinking the exact-���

“no, us.” oh shit. oh shit. oh shit. you couldn’t even look at him. god, you were blushing like crazy and you prayed that he didn’t notice because you knew you were being crazy obvious right now. “i’m gonna miss us sneaking onto the rooftop to watch the sunset, you know? it’s just- i don’t know. senior year ending has made me become more... sad? i don’t think that’s the right word for it. nostalgic? maybe. every moment just has this sense of finality to it and that scares me.”

you were about to reply, but you were immediately cut off by the sound of his phone ringing. “hey, mina.”

and just as icarus flew too close to the sun, so did you heart. and now you felt it falling straight down to the sea. you didn’t bother to listen to the rest of his conversation on the phone. instead, you watched the sun while it painted the buildings a brilliant shade of golden yellow and casted a shadow onto the trees. but the view of the buildings could never compete with donghyuck as his tanned skin glowed in the golden sunlight and his eyes twinkled in a different shade of brown.

“crap, i almost forgot about my council meeting. i have to go pick up mina, too,” he had a small frown on his face and you giggled. lee donghyuck, how could you be so cute? “are you gonna be okay up here? i’m gonna go get the cookies ready. i’ll leave some at your door, as promised.”

you reject donghyuck’s offer of walking you to your door, telling him that you just wanted to stay here for a little while longer.

mork 🤢: damn senior year rly be hitting different 😩😔😫💦

you: MARK WTF JDDJDJ YOUR EMOJIS GTFO

mork 🤢: y/n i have a story omg facetime me #storytime

mork 🤢: i think my life is starting to become a coming of age movie LMAO

you smile as you read mark’s texts, telling him you’ll facetime him once you get back home. he was right though; senior year really did feel different, and it forced you to confront feelings you’d much rather keep buried, especially in the lee donghyuck department of your heart.

hello! if you made it this far, then thank you 🥺 tbh i was reALLY SCARED TO POST THIS IDK I HAVEN’T ACTUALLY WRITTEN ANYTHING IN AWHILE !! this WILL be continued so stay tuned !! 💖 kjdfakjl also aren’t we all just tryna be hyuck’s best friend 😔✊🏽

[5h4rk1zzl3]

mmmm im tryna avoid binging rn and am bored and we know how tht leads to it soooooo im gonna do all 30 days in one post :)

day 1- idk the exact tbh. dont have a weigh scale at my house bc everyone else is naturally skinny but me, im gonna try and buy one soon tho.

day 2- around 5'4 ehhh im not terribly mad about it but i definitely would prefer to be taller.

day 3- a pic of my thinspiration and why:

i really like how their shoulders are boney & the skinny limbs & the slight abs omg & the collar bones AHHHH

day 4- tbhhh i have quite a few fears:

-i wont look how i wanna look at my ugw

-stretch marks wont fade enough & will still be just as bad when im skinny

-saggy skin :/ im loosing around 60 lbs so i think that might happen idk tho

-people wont even realize i lost weight??? idk i feel like ppl arent even gonna realize for some reason bc i only wear all baggy clothes anyways idk makes no sense cos u can still tell but whtever

-ppl will still view me as the fat sister.... uh idk i just always have been it and i feel like ill still be viewed as it even when im skinny

-ill gain it all back ¿¿ kinda cliche but it already happened to me and i dont wanna let it happen it time.

day 5- yeah im doing it for myself mostly but theres alotta reasons like the main one being i used to be skinny and was so much happier and more comfortable then... but theres alotta smaller reasons like maybe get more (good) attention, get praise from ppl, can wear better clothes, idk not feel so insecure

day 6- yeahhhhhhhhh uhhh i think mostly it happens when i get mad and then i cant help myself :| i gotta work on that but ive been pretty good with it for the past 2 months actually i have binged a fee times but each time i worked out enough to kinda even it out i feel like (if tht even makes sense)

day 7- yeah but they think im doing it healthily because i lie abt my cals

day 8-mostly running on a treadmill

day 9- uhmmm no not rlly besides my parents... actually yeah maybe some of my exes friends :|

day 10- time tbh... the amount of time i spend working out is insane im so behind on all my fkn school work

day 11- idk i dont rlly keep track of blogs i kinda use pinterest for thinspo mostly

day 12-alot of string beans, strawberries & tht 45 calorie toast

day 13- its been pretty healthy because i wanted to avoid going down a spiral again. (eating 1500 working out for 1.5 hours) but im seeing no results and i been doing this for 2 months and now i feel myself starting to slip. ive been eating under 500 for the past week and starting to work out for 2-4 hours a day

day 14- 95, idk i was supposed to reach it by the end of july but now i think it may take alot longer :/

day 15- no

day 16- 2 months ago i used to be pretty skinny march of 2020 and then covid happened and i gained like 40 lbs in a year and now i wanna get back down

day 17- idk?????? sometimes i think i do but no im not diagnosed, like last year i used adderall to loose weight and idk if that counts as one but i wish i could do tht again but cant get my hands on any

day 18- bagels omg. so high in cals. so yummy. like i cant afford it bc ONE is 290 cals and then i always put butter so another 80 (relatively low cal butter)

day 19- its actually been a while so i had to check the door dash app lol. but may 1st i ordered popeyes :,) mostly for my family

day 20- none. i dont diet i just count calories

day 21- idk?????? i wear xlarge hoodies & sweats everyday

day 22-i think around 120, covid and a mix of my bf breaking up wm caused me to be super depressed and i gained sm up to 170

day 23- yeah i wanna look like all the perfect ppl i see

day 24- i dont like it like idk why ppl would be pro why would u wish it upon anyone.

day 25- yeahhhhhhhhh i did before but i learned now not to because it honestly doesnt get rid of all the calories & leaves u hungrier but i did a year ago

day 26- TBHHHHH having sex again LMAOO i havent since i got fat bc im too insecure

day 27- not well :|

day 28- YES. my mom & sister both have it and i want it SO BAD. i didnt even have it a year ago when i was at my lowest weight which is so annoying

day 29- sebastian stan😍😍😍😍😍LMAOOOOOO

day 30- 10 facts ab me

1- im scared of driving a car LMAOO

2- total insomniac

3- can run a 5 min mile (at 0 incline tho)

4- read ALOT

5- obsessed w marvel

6- in love w sebastian stan :,)

7- love jetskiing

8- gonna move to nyc in a year

9- love coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

10- currently am failing 4/6 of my classes

[heartsflocked]

like. a year ago vos & i talked about an au where eugene got sent to the isle for being a thief after rachel & remi were born, & the twins got sent over to the isle with him & grew up there and. god what a good AU. here are some highlights from talking about it with vos and with edy lmfao. by “highlights” i mean “everything we ever said bc GOD i love it���

w/ vos

[6:28 PM] V🌻: w/ the eugene one... like don't tell me they don't have routines worked out?? little acts they know where one causes a distraction and the other slides in and steals shit [6:29 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): YES [6:29 PM] V🌻: always trying new ones & trying to pull off the things eugene used to do

[6:48 PM] V🌻: i'm giggling rn because eugene trying to go back to Flynn RiderTM on the isle but the other villains just rip the absolute piss out of him for it like ,,, NO FITZHERBERT [6:48 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): jshgsdg YEAH LMAO [6:48 PM] V🌻: but at the same time remi getting shit because "remi rider" wtf

[6:52 PM] V🌻: ! ! ! eugene would be completely heartbroken because rapunzel was His New Dream and he just KNOWS that she's over there in pieces bc she lost all three of them and HE CAN'T MAKE HER FEEL BETTER [6:52 PM] V🌻: he would still be such an A+ dad to them even on the isle [6:52 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): TBH [6:54 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): i mean honestly he'd?? probably be Isle Dad like literally the best dad on the entire isle to his own kids but he'd also look out for so many other kids on the isle like he was?? an orphan who used to read to the other orphan kids okay he's Fucking Soft and already canonically was the kind of person to take others under his wing and look out for them he would just dad the hell out of any troubled isle kid in proximity [6:55 PM] V🌻: he'd give them everything he was damn capable of ???? and he would try to tell them how much their mother loves them and how much this hurts her but remi is STILL a ball of anger in this scenario esp if they go to auradon because they LEFT eugene on the isle and ??? fUCK FUCK NO ??? he lost the love of his life, and now his kids have been taken from him too ??? and SHIT remi will fight frederic for this himself [6:55 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): ksjhgdjg no listen rachel will too [6:56 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): tbh i think rachel would get told "hey you can come to auradon now" and she'd be like "LIKE HELL AM I FUCKING LEAVING MY DAD HERE?" and eugene would probably have to make the kids go but hhhhhhh rachel would be Furious and Miserable and she would deck her grandfather ON SIGHT bc listen?? if it gets her sent back to the isle?? at least dad's not alone [6:59 PM] V🌻: they would kick up such a fuss about being asked to go to the isle !!!!! SHIt there would just be no way they're going to leave eugene there ?? he has to drag remi by the hood into that limo tbh because he knows rapunzel can give them what they really deserve in life [7:00 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): kajhjsd eugene, w rachel tossed over his shoulder and flailing, dragging a struggling remi: THIS IS A GOOD THING [7:04 PM] V🌻: the driver, shook tO FUCK over the fight being put up here: u know this is an optional thing right [7:10 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): pls sir this is family matters dont stick ur nose in smh the entire problem is that the kids KNOW it's optional lmfao

[1:19 PM] V🌻: ajhfajhf [1:19 PM] V🌻: imagine their rivalry with gothel kids [1:20 PM] V🌻: fighty kids [4:16 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): ksjdhgjs rachel loves ginny gothel for one reason and one reason only and that's that she can ALWAYS count on ginny gothel to drop everything for a good fist fight they are both so small and they both love to throw hands too much [4:17 PM] V🌻: there's no denying gothel would try to kill eugene again [4:17 PM] V🌻: pffft ginny and rem/rachel both have their own little squads who just Fight It Out everyday [4:19 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): gothel: [is An Adult, a legitimate villain, was pretty formidable honestly and was at the very least strong enough to overpower rapunzel] rachel, not caring about any of that: LEMME FUCKIN AT HER I'LL TAKE HER FOR SO MUCH AS LOOKING AT MY DAD [4:35 PM] V🌻: Rem vc: she's all Old n shit let's gang up on her [4:40 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): rach vc: y e s [4:40 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): [4:39 PM] daredoll: Honestly ok but I'm laughing like Rachel at Ginny "wow we're such rivals this is intense" Ginny "we're not rivals I just hate you and would actively be happy if you died" [4:39 PM] Vex: "sounds like something a rival would say" [4:41 PM] V🌻: oh my god [4:42 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): rachel in all verses confirmed for just going to believe whatever the hell she wants [4:42 PM] V🌻: these two were always destined to be loud, opinionated and bratty

w/ edy

[6:26 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): the second au is where frederick refused to pardon eugene and sent him and the twins over to the isle so like....... just...... them growing up with only their dad who like yeah he was a criminal but be real here he's too soft for the isle and he loved rapunzel and she loved him but they're apart and he's got to raise these two disaster twins on hell island but anyways.. u kno rach is always grinning & covered in bruises from getting into fights, and her pockets are always full of other people's shit [6:27 PM] daredoll: Flynn is just the isle dad tbh and like ?? ok the twins would be such grimy fun cretins [6:28 PM] daredoll: God ok but also Flynn telling them about their mom IM EMO [6:28 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): Y E A H [6:28 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): im emo about all situations at all times [6:31 PM] daredoll: God like at least probably not knowing you have a great sunshine family is one thing but like also KNOWING that you have this bright amazing mom who loves you but you aren't allowed to ever see and she can't see you WOW [6:35 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): yeah i want to Die,

[4:39 PM] daredoll: Honestly ok but I'm laughing like Rachel at Ginny "wow we're such rivals this is intense" Ginny "we're not rivals I just hate you and would actively be happy if you died" [4:39 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): "sounds like something a rival would say" [4:45 PM] daredoll: Ok but who's gang are the twins joining [4:47 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): honestly i have no idea like,,, we've established mal would probably Hate rach lmfao she's got some sort of rivalry going on with ginny regardless of ginny's willingness to be involved in this rivalry they don't seem like particularly piratey children and idk if rachel could put up with harry no matter how cute gil is idek what that leaves for them to latch onto lmfao

[8:36 PM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): okay also i just rachel: cmon we're doing something very morally reprehensible sunny: wait isn't that wrong?? rachel: oh is it WRONG? is it BAD and IMMORAL to do a crime, Miss I Crimed-So-Hard-I-Got-Sent-To-Hell-Island? Do you have some moral highground i don't know about? sunny: okay i feel like your tone is getting very rude

[3:44 AM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): ugh god rachel's the kind of person to come out of a fight with a black eye grinning so wide that it's impossible to not notice the blood in her teeth [3:46 AM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): i think she's probably a lot better at fighting than eugene would like her to be but she's also way too wild and reckless about her fighting style for sure bc she just loves the thrill of it bc she's the WORST so no question even being good enough at fighting to probably at least win a fair few, no way she does it without taking some hits, but she just?? is having a blast?? despite that?? i hate her. Obnoxious [3:46 AM] Miss Steal Yo Girl (ft. Yo Girl): this is why she should never have been let onto the isle with the other awful kids

[tayegi]

maybe the reason jk doesnt wanna be w mc is bc he feels like he needs to improve himself before he can b w her

Anonymous said:I just suddenly want to reread all NR and keep an eye on Hyejin because if I thought Hoseok was shady before... Now I think she’s another mysterious character! And we also have the mystery woman of JK’s ex... Mmmmmh 🤔

Anonymous said:What if... JK’ex died... and he DOES have his own rules to survive

Anonymous said:I wonder how it'll be reading from Jungkook's perspective, like how is he interpreting the oc's actions and what goes on his mind when he's with her vs when he's with another girl

Anonymous said:Hi Lu! I've read NR so many times by now that I've lost count!!! I love this fic so much: the characters are so deep and there are no loose ends. I've read chap. 9 and 1 thing intrigued me more than the other parts: while on the date w/ OC, JK wouldn't stop falling on the ice and would be so bad at ice skating. But, when he was w/ Hyejin, he would catch her and skate well. Why??? I'm so confused right now!!! Kkkkk Will we be seeing a reason to this or am I just reading too much into it?

Anonymous said:Omg you blow me away with your writing. New Rules is so well thought out, you’re amazing! One thing that stood out to me though, OC is maybe blinded by some things? I know I can feel that way, especially when you’re on your journey of self discovery. It’s hard to pick up on things like how others feel around you and it distorts your perception of things because you can be so focused on yourself. Is this what is blocking JK’s past from OC? I feel like the hints are there but what are they 😩😂

Anonymous said:i don't feel bad for the OC at all because i'm really really curious about jungkook's ex girlfriend or whatever she was and what made him make the decision to don't do relationships and what's actually going on with him and hyejin like why the fuck did he took her for skating I HAVE A LOT OF QUESTION IN THE MOMENT anyway great chapter 🌼💚🤧😢💓😰❤️❣️💝❤️🤒💮💗😭💙🤕 as always

Anonymous said:Can I just say thank you for existing, you have created a wonderful masterpiece, I thought there was no way nr can get any better, but with every update you prove me wrong, and it's great I'm looking forward to jk's past, because I feel like everything will make much more sense whem we find out what happened between him and his ex, thank you lu!!! 💖💖💖

Anonymous said:hmm...why was jungkook so bad at skating with the OC but then hyejin was complimenting him? was he just pretending to be bad at it to stay physically close to the OC? HM

Anonymous said:Ahhh, I love new rules!!! I think I’ve been following you since... chapter 3? Probably before that too! JK from end of chp 9 is giving me confusing vibes from the JK that was upset that he didn’t bid on him but it might just be a whole ego thing about the bidding. But I’m also getting the vibe that he’s trying to backpedal on any types of feelings he might have that’s why he was cruel when he was rejecting her

Anonymous said:Maybe Im wrong but what if Jungkook all this time liked her as a friend. In Ch8, he blames Hoseok for stealing her away. What if it was more of a "why are you stealing my friend away". Considering that OC hasnt been spending much time with him and was close to Hoseok, he might've assumed he stole her away. NR JK seems like he doesn't have a huge group of friends so maybe he liked her as a friend. And people misunderstood it as romantic relationship. -nR (1/?)

Anonymous said:People associate fk buddies in a romantic way cause after some time usually people develop feelings but what if he truly just liked her as a friend and a person who he could hook up with. What if there was nothing romantic in the first place? People pushed the romance on OC so she just accepted it(?) Ill revisit the story as a whole when I have the time to reanalyse, this is purely my 1st impression. I hope I didnt go in a completely wrong direction. I tend to misunderstand things😅. -nR (2/2)

Anonymous said:I'm just sitting here wondering if the "she" from JK's past could possibly be someone who was really important in his life but not necessarily a romantic interest. IDK, I think once I listen to the podcast - which I intend to do! - I might get more hints. But I can't do that rn because I literally just spent the past 5 hours starting to read NR and then catching all the way up to the end of the 9th chapter and omg I need to sleep and think about this lol

Anonymous said:I wish people wouldn't attack jungkook or misinterpret him, he is what I wish all people that don't do relationship would be, he is clear, sincere, and has no fear of showing affection cause he knows that it won't change his mind or his position, while in reality actually get all defensive and I think I get why now, because if they show niceness then people automatically think they changed...I mean, it's ok to not do relationship and not be an asshole, actually it's amazing

Anonymous said:The fact that a lot of people can't believe that jungkook is a fuckboy in NR just because he treats he OC right and it's a good person confuses me,some may think he's being fake and all because he treats her right said he likes her BUT still have the same opinion about relationships that he had since the begining(that hr always made it clear btw), so what? People that the think the way he thinks necessarily need to be an asshole? They are attacking him while all the time he has bering sincere ++

Anonymous said:++ and clear like crystal about his intentions, the way people relate "i don't do relationship" = for sure an asshole, makes me think that maybe the reason why people that don't do relashionship feel the need in being an asshole, having 0 affection (which jungkook has for the OC and I think that's what's causing the confusion) cause if they do show affection, people automatically think they changed and if they show that no, they didn't change, they are accused of being fake and deciving others

Anonymous said:I honestly find Hobi to be more like Jin. While on the surface he seems empathetic and caring, the way he acts says differently. The way he acted toward Jin and OC in ch8 really turns me off. "I can't believe you dated him, what were you thinking?" It sounds like he's not so much upset with what Jin to her. It shows that deep down, her well being is not really high up on his list of concerns. He's greasy just like Jin. He's selfish just like Jin.

Anonymous said:My brain created tons of theories for jk past, and all of them are dumb as shit 😂Joon's 148 IQ would be so helpful right now! What if the oc makes jk remind, not about his ex, but about himself? I'm going for a path were my brain is telling that, perhaps, jk is not that innocent in the ex situation. Like u said, we just know things in the oc perspective, and we just know what jk let us now...I dunno nothing. Might be completly wrong 😂 Dont need to answer Lu, just wanted to vent a little 💖 ~BR

Anonymous said:I just had the thought of the OC going NOT JEALOUS OF HOSEOK HMMMMM? And, well, seeing how far she can push. Without breaking the whole exclusive thing with JK, I don't think she'd break that. But like she might try and see and how romantically involved she can get with Hoseok to see if JK says anything. But I could very well be off base with this, it's just a guess.

AHHHH i love all your theories and thoughts!!! this was so incredibly interesting to read through. and you guys are all asking the right questions!!! i am super excited for you guys to see what happens next chapter :D 

[batslime]

taggt ( by @wesminator )

Last:

Drink- im schlurpin mtn dew rn

Phone call- my mom to make sure she knew we needed cat food

Text- showing this awful thing to @succubus

Song- ddu-du ddu-du by black pink ( that doesnt even sound the way its spelled and i had to look at it again bc of that )

Time you cried- i dont remember probably while i was watching a movie or smt

Ever:

Been depressed- b o y

Gotten drunk and thrown up- i dont go to parties because i live in the middle of nowhere and ive never been drunk i dont like alcohol enough to get to that point

In the last year have you:

Made new friends- ya

Fallen outta love- YA

Laughed until you cried- no

Found out someone was talking about you- just today my manager told me one of the part time mans texts him to say ive been “acting up” ( i said something to her she didnt get so i told her not to try so hard bc i could smell the smoke coming from her ears ) and he straight up tells her shes stupid fgvhjb

Met someone who changed you- for the worse yes lmao

Found out who your friends are- I’ve found out who my friends aren’t!

Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list- Maybe???? ive remade it so many times/ never go on i dont remember if i have any exes besides @succubus

General:

Fave color- im always a slut for pink but i also love rich greens and lavender

How many Facebook friends do you know IRL - why is a tumblr meme probably aged at like teenage-twenty year olds even asking about facebook

Any pets - rn i have three cats

Do you wanna change your name - legally ya

What did you do for your last birthday - I dont remember i was probably still at home jobless and sad

What were you doing last night at midnight - working on miniatures

What is something you can’t wait for - @succubus is coming over next month, next paycheck, to get the energy to work on all my projects again, genji nendroid

What are you listening to - i just left blackpink playing after i had to look that title up

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - idk

Something that gets on your nerves - god everything lately im like a time bomb

Most visited website - Tumblr and Youtube

Hair colour - Black/ dark brown

Hair length - i cut it asymmetrically l recently and shaved it back in march on the sides so its. all over the place

Do you have crush on someone - i have a crush on being a better and more productive and happier and richer person

What do you like about yourself - lets not start this lol

Want any piercing - not rn im too depressed to take care of my body on a regular basis

Blood type-  b+

Nicknames- 

Zodiac - capricorn

Pronouns - She/Her or They/Them is fine.

Fave TV show - I dont watch tv occasionally tho ill go into netflix and play whatevers nice to listen to while i work, like forensic files or movies im really familiar with 

Tattoos - i dont rly like the way they look i think n when i do see designs i like i like seeing them on other ppl, im too fickle for them myself. i used to do designs for ppl tho

Right or left handed - Right-handed

Ever had surgery - to have my teeth removed and tbh id be terrified and i think id really rather just die if i ever needed under-anesthetic under-the-knife surgery for multiple reasons 

Sports - no

Vacation - i like vegas, theres lots of countries id love to see but ive never been out of the states. im too poor and scared to do that rn esp alone

More general:

Eating - i love squishy foods but ive been craving crunchy stuff a lot lately too. ive been getting bowls of ice to take to my room while i work

Drinking- i drink like three things and that mtn dew, water w crystal lite, and match fraps

About to watch- i dont watch stuff much i just play whatever i can presently stand hearing while i work

Waiting to-

Get married - god no i literally just wanna live alone i dont wanna have to see people in my house while im trying to force myself to work or walking around naked i dont wanna be responsible for another person

Which is better:

Hugs or kisses - i dont like to be tocuhed

Lips or eyes - 

Shorter or taller -  

Nice arms or stomach -  these are like. really obscure selections 

Troublemaker or hesitant -  

Have you ever:

Kissed a stranger - no

Drunk hard liquor - no

Lost glasses - yeah i just toss em at the end of my bed at night

Turned someone down - um i work retail and look like a teenager i can hardly fucking go in public without some random ugly ass dude thinking he can talk to me lol 

Been arrested - no

Cried when someone died - i dont think so just animals as far as i can recall, i havent lost anyone close.

Fallen for a friend - ya

Do you believe in:

Yourself - Yeh boi!

st sight - for like animals or shows or smt. if youre talking about another person. thats called attraction and calling it love is creepy and unhealthy and an obsolete concept that we need to nip in the ass tbh. i hear a disproportionate amnt of guys to girls say this and its like always someone they meet in public or whatever. im sure if i were desperate and self hating enough to humor any of the losers who try me theyd say it like five years down the line too. you dont know who tf somebody really is til youve known them for years and gone though real shit and seen how they respond. ive always found “love at first sight” creepy 

Kiss on the first date - idk

Angels - maybe

Others:

Best friend’s name - i call her a disgrace and the cause of my death but other ppl call her franky/ alexa 

Eye colour - Brown

Fave movie - 

Fave actors -

franky ive already tagged you like eight times. also im done working for the day. if you wanna be tagged reblog it and tag yourself im not doing anything else for any more people today 

[kritharaki]

Rating plants ive personally owned/ own on a scale of 1- 10, 1 being sucks i hate it and it also died for no reason and 10 being i love it and it is flourishing with my at times shitty care

1. Dracaena fragrans nr1

The one that looks a bit like a bamboo palm tree. Solid 7/10 i think she is pretty and you usually can tell exactly when she needs water because her leaves curl. However has had little to no growth since i got it and i cant figure out why, -3 for that

2. Dracaena fragrans nr2

The one that looks like a palm without a stump. 10/10 ive been trying to kill it for over a year and it refuses to die. That could be spite. But she is very recomendable i think... top five things she survived so far being 1.overwaterd cause if i have water leftover she gets it 2 sunburned. I forgot her outside after repotting. 3 being dropped. Standing in the darkest corner of my room 4. Being dropped. Again. 5. Forgot to water it for like two weeks cause ive moved it to another room . I would give it a -5 for personality because im mad at her but that is personal between me and her.

3. Succulents

All of them. No matter if purple or greenish. 2/10 some people love them, i hate them. idk what im doing wrong but so far ive had five? And only one of them still is alive. Either they rot or dry out. Idk who recommends them to beginners i hate them.

4. Cacti

Nice. 9/10 i dont like them because they are spiky and im an idiot, but they really are not easy to kill. One time i overwatered one and it got mushy, but since it still is alive over two years later i guess it doesnt count. They really are a great starter plant i think because they survive on very little care, and if you grow out of being a beginner you can get to the more challenging ways of caring for catci (that still are quite simple i think)

5. Monstera deliciosa

9/10, i think they can be quite tricky but only if you dont believe in yourself. They also are easy to propagate which always is a huge plus. U get more plants out of one. Its genius i love it. I got mine at ikea and on god it has doubled in size in like a year???? They should get extra points for looks because they are really nice and green

6. A yucca palm

9½/10 Idk..... ive had to repot it once but idk if it has even grown since i got it. Its a very nice and easy planta nd it looks good but doenat have much action to talk about. I wouldnt know how to kill it either so id consider it a nice starter. The very bottom leaves get yellow and krispy but that apparently is normal so no need to worry, thats just how it grows.

7. Gummy tree

6/10 i worry about it all the time even though it doesnt do anything that should worry me. But it has very few leaves so it cant loos that many which gives it a feel of walking on thin ice. Stressful. Very pretty tho should get extra points. Also remind me to ask my grandma for tips because hers is literally 60 years old.......... so maybe its like the monstera you just gotta believe in yourself

8. Orchids

I have got two, a purple ikea one and a papophilium or some shit. 4/10 They are really pretty especially the pap,,, paep,,,, the expenisive-ish one❤ but i hate them. What do they want. No that isnt true the ikea one... well ive accidentally overwatered it right after buying it because i didnt realize the pot it came w had no drainage which then lead to me removing both soil and half the now moldy roots. And orchids dont need soil so id just put it in a cup of water every once in a while...... that is really easy to forget tho and now shes dry and shrively :( the expensive one i accidentally let it stand in a saucer of water and now theres mushrooms in the soil thingy which is bad i think. Gets extra points for also surviving being dropped twice

9. Spider plants

My beloved. 10/10

I got one from ikea but then decided the single plants in the pot were to overcrowded so i took them out and seperated it into three. I probably ripped half the roots but they survived and now are flourishing. One of them has an offshoot going on rn, which leads me to the other two i have, my mom got me them as cuttings from her office plant and i left them in just water for at least third a year oops. They started getting a lil moldy so i planted them and now they are going strong again. Love. They also are really easy to propagate because offsphoots are everything but rare in an older(ish) plant, and also really easy to grow from there. Another one id consider a good beginner plant because all they want is water and a place on the windowsill. The latter is optional too but they do get nicer there i think. Ig they also wouldnt say no to the occasional fertilizer but again they do not need it i think.

10. Pileas

7/10, almost killed my big one by putting it into a too big pot AND shady place at all the same time. In the midst of winter. Cant recommend it. Have now put it back into a smaller pot and shes flourishing again. The small one i have i cant say much about. She does her job and is very smol. Also worth mentioning is you dont have to water pilea babies more than big ones it makes them mold <\3. I think its an easy plant if you dont fuck around to much. Propagating them can b really easy too because the offshoots just. Grow there. And u ideally have to cut them and put them in water. The last time i tried this was winter. Bad idea doesnt work. Trying it again rn ig ill update this section accordingly.

11. Clusia rosea

6/10 ive too put her into a too big pot cause i dont have an intermediate one so she looks stupid now. Has grown a lil since i got it 2 years ago, but thats fair cause i dont really care for her that greatly. Mediocre to me idk

12. Peperomia polybotrya

0/10 so far its getting yellow and i cant figure out why. Need to google how to care for them.

13. Venus fly trap

7/10 Doesnt work anymore idk why :((..... a bit sad but ive moved her to the bathroom that usually helps. They really are a cool gimick and theoretically very easy to take care of, you literally just gotta make sure its in water amd standing in a sunny place at all times. I think mine might be lacking fertilizer or maybe just humidity. We will see, ill update this section too

14. Nepenthes

9/10, mine had a rough start cause i interpreted 'keep in humid place ' as 'spray with water every day' so i overwaterd her. She lost all her pitchers but i now know they just do that in winter. Unless u have a growlight. She has been moved to the windowsill in the bathroom now and is flourishing there :))

15. 3 bonus tips

1) dont propagate plants in winter unless you have grow lights or want them to die. Or live somewhere really warm maybe

2) cheap plants r not inherently worse than expensive plants (now i dont own any expensive plants but since my cheapish once work fine........yk) but especially plants from like. Chain stores like ikea often need to be repotted shortly after buying..... ive heard its a marketing thing cause if you dont do it they just get yellow and ugly and youll have to buy a new one yk. But repotting them is manageable i think so its fine you just gotta know it ig.

3) if somethings going wrong for no reason and you have a window in your bathroom put the plant there it usually helps a lil. And if it doesnt well than at least the plant dies in a peaceful place...... jk theres probably several great checklist online tho that might help you find the cause of it so dont despair <33

[bigbrothermonopoly]

EPISODE 4:

HOH: ANDREW

EVICTED: SILENCE 8-4

JESS: 

Pandora's box. You are kidding me right? I'm done. bye.

JESS:

Actually jk jk. I'm not done. Clearly this was an inside job. Two people pooled their money together and clearly got it. The real question is... will this get back to me or not. I'm so discouraged right now. I feel like for some reason people don't trust me? I'm going for HOH right now but I ALSO don't want to hear what other people think I should do with it if I get it.BUT also I should worry about that if/when it happens. WE ARE MANIFESTING THIS WIN LADIES! This are still too shaky in this house. I need more answers. I need more people. I just need a pint and a side hoe and I'm good. Everyone seems to be pairing up and I feel like I have no one to turn to right now. We got: Kristine and Chris Brien and Madison Eve and Mackenzie APPARENTLY: Dem and Andrew Austin and Silence Gwen and herself.. Kori and his "I'm in the army" references Me and my paranoia. THAT'S A LOT OF DUO'S in this game. ugh. I JUST NEED A PERSON someone I can trust. Someone who I know is going to ride with me for a while and I just don't see that happening. Which means crackhead Jess will come out eventually. So yeehaw. Also Eve wanting to take out people I'm close with like Will and Brien... no. NO. NOPE. Not happening. 

EMMA:

I think i am safe this week right now i am just trying to maintain my relationships in the house its still a little bit hard to see whos in power but i am told i am safe this week i hope i can win either week 5 or week 6 hoh because thats when those hoh effects the game.

KRISTINE:

IMMA TELL U WHATS UP!!! My life is a mess. I bought a property and Emma has the other one. We just need to find out who has the last one. And I swear to lord Jesus if it’s Gwen I’m going to be PISSEDDDD. That girl has got to goooo. I’m really nervous about Andrew being HOH because I know Chris is in danger and he’s literally my #1 person in this game. Me him and Emma need to make it through this round. I hate that Chris made an alliance that included Gwen and Brian. Since Brian knows our secret and Gwen is a great social player and honestly a comp threat that no one is taking notice of. It IS only round 4 which is fine but still... I don’t want to compete against someone like Gwen. Because I’ve trusted that person before and got super screwed. Thankfully, Chris agrees with me. Anyways. Please send me more money :))) my Venmo is https://venmo.com/code?user_id=2882981236572160313 PLEASE SEND MONEY

JESS:

Who gave out free samples of crack to the house? Last night I had a weird call with Eve. Essentially it seems like she wants Mackenzie to be given a power of the next property we buy so she can control the power via Mackenzie. I feel so bad for Mackenzie because when I've spoken to her she seems kind of discouraged about the way Eve talks to her sometimes. Which I totally get because I'm sometimes kind of shook by it all.  I reassured Mackenzie not to take it personally I just think Eve gets a tad bit overexcited with everything and kind of just shoots her shot. BUT. If these bitches think I'm their bitch they are GREATLY mistaken. In what world does me not getting the power this time when I literally gave up a property and money for Eve to get a power last time, work? If I was them I'd be throwing the power at my someone who isn't in the duo to make me feel safe and secure. I'm not giving up money and another power again, it ain't happening again. Kristine is all in my pm's now trying to figure out what is going now when it soooo transparent she doesn't trust me. Either Emma told her what I said about her and I not talking or homegirl really thinks that I haven't been hearing that she was leaking I was in a trio with Tawni and Gwen last round? Andrew being in power is good for me. He said he won't be putting me up, Eve wastes her power (although I kind of wanted it for us Chris going opens up the game a little more and takes a number away from the other "side" I see forming), and I think Andrew doing this will put some doubt into people's heads. This is all good for my game because it pushes another couple targets in front of me. My only concern right now is that Eve is going to expose that I traded her for that property.

KORI:

Alright checklist for the past 24 hours... Got both utilities to make the Monopoly... Check. Received the option to Open Pandora's Box as a result, and Opened it... Check. Is likely to get fucked over as a result of whatever twist comes of it... Check. Lost HoH and wasn't even close with Andrew winning it... Check. Was told that I was supposedly safe this week by the HoH... Check. Watched the Light Blue Properties get snagged with not much way to speculate who has them... Check. Missed out on $80 in Live Comps because I stayed after a bit at work and was driving... Fucking Check. I think that's everything, guess now I'm just gonna twiddle my thumbs a bit and hope Andrew isn't gonna nominate or backdoor me.

AUSTIN:

Su Andrew is HoH this week and he has nominated Madison and Silence for eviction but....I heard that he wants to backdoor Chris. I’m 100% ok with Chris going home because he always wants information from me but he never wants to give me any info in return. I was also picked for veto and I do not want to win because my Power Trap alliance wants the veto not to be used while my Mandela Monocles alliance wants it used on Silence so either way it goes if I won I would be screwed. Basically I threw the veto competition.

CHRIS:

HAHAHAHAH , if this isn’t a backdoor, I’m stupid. I know this is the case. For all that don’t know, me and Andrew are rivals because I targeted him in the last HoH competition and had people go after him. This caused him to be very butt hurt and a little bitch. Like bro , it’s a HoH completion where your dominating.. of course I’m going to go after you. I don’t care you called me safe, you are a threat since day one. Now I have Dem coming to me telling me all this information like bro.. what is you doing 😂. Thanks for feeding me information, you are not even in my final 5 but thanks for helping me ! This house is great and I know this backdoor won’t go through unless I’m over my head. Andrew , next time you have a chance, you should of gone for the head. 

ANDREW:

episode 4 So my plan for this week as of right now I’m gonna nominate madison and silence because they didn’t message me saying anything If chris gets picked for veto eve is going to use her veto redraw Hopefully veto is used by the winner I backdoor Chris Baby goes bye bye But also this pandora’s box is more than likely to fuck with me this week :/ My prediction is vote flip but i’m just going to carry on as normal cause i can’t ruin my game due to paranoia also my top 2 allegiances rn are Eve and Jess Lowkey scary that im not in any set alliances yet cuz i know there do be some probably But its okay bc it might work to my advantage later on when im the free agent that these whores need ALSO MARk my words here. If William nominates me when he gets hoh hes a fucking FRAUD he made a deal w me safety for safety and its a good thing cause i was going to nominate his ass instead of silence So far everything is going according to plan and Chris will be out of the house by the end of this week, Obviously if me silence or madison win there will be veto use William said he would use veto aswell Only thing: i’m rly bad at puzzles I lowkey hate that I talk so much in the house chat but I cant help it............I dont want peeps to think im annoying...Sorry I just wnt to contribute to everything its like a disease There is no better feeling than having Chris shake in his boots :heart: You rly fucked with the wrong twink babe He thinks he has the votes to stay. I just have to laugh Especially since he tried to discredit me telling him I was a threat to his game with the simple words of "Bet" Bitch Ill show u bet rq. This is gonna be a split vote i cant wait for this to potentially blow up in my face I am deadass providing a list for SIlence on people he needs to campaign to Like this bitch is not leaving the house My loyalties 

GWEN:

I really want Chris to stay. We’ve become really close in this game. People don’t know how close we actually are. If they did, my alliance would probably just want him out. The vote will be split, and sides will be chosen. Eve is trying to threaten everyone into voting Chris out. She is saying it’s a unanimous vote. Please. It’s clearly split. She needs to goooooo. Please please Chris stay!!

JESS:

What a fucking mess this vote is. This is what happens when cocky people get cocky and assume they have people on lock. I adore Eve and Andrew but... they should have thought this out a little better. I just.. I'm just.. I'm fucking livid. I don't get where Miss Thing Evelyn gets off saying stuff like "That’s my plea, stick your neck out and you will be rewarded". What are you going to reward me with? You warming the seat on the block for me after I'm gone because I sided with you? Thanks but if I wanted a seat warmer I'd go to Target not Walmart. But in all honesty, it's not like I don't want to do this move. I 10000% was into the idea but that's because I was sold the dream of it. I thought Andrew had more pull than he actually does. I knew Eve didn't have as much pull as she thought but Andrew I was wrong about. I was in a decent spot. I think? Kind of cruising the middle and now that spot is being blown up because it is CLEAR Andrew/Eve don't want to be the only ones to take the fall for this move. BUT.. I don't trust Dem to 1000% not get paranoid and flip and I don't want to be sitting on the sinking ship fucking alone. Dem is apparently going to just vote Chris so I guess I'm going to vote for Chris and hope for the best at this point. 

AUSTIN:

This week has been CRAZY! Basically Andrew won HoH and he wants Chris gone but he wants to backdoor him so he puts up Madison and Silence. Madison ends up winning the veto and Andrew replaces her spot with Chris. My dilemma is that I am in an alliance with Chris and Silence. I think Chris needs to go first because he is very sketchy. Also Silence can go next week easily. On top of all of this, I have been put in 2 alliances that I didn’t even know were forming. Each alliance wants somebody different to go home but I’m hoping that we have enough votes to evict Chris. 

JESS:

Also Brien is a shady ass hoe and I will be exposing his relationship if he fucks me with this vote. Plus, I knew his ass bought a property and traded it Emma with Kristine and didn't tell me. He's keeping secrets from me and I'm not playing this game like season 1 Sansa I'm playing this game like last season Cersei. No fucks given. I'll probably die soon. His ass is playing the middle and if I win he is going UP. Sorry but this isn't the Bachelor it is BIG BROTHER.

WILLIAM:

I'm so excited cause it looks like this is the vote that will get the game going! I love everyone and want to stay together but like I'm so ready to draw this line in the sand and cause some chaos going!

WILLIAM:

I dont know what Eve's deal is with this threatening game tactic, telling people "The vote will be 12-0" or "Is you dont vote with me it will be a mistake" but I cant wait to see her face come eviction night 😈

KRISTINE:

Absolutely no way in hell i'm letting Chris get evicted. I refuse to let my #1 ally go home because of Andrew's ego being bruised. I'm hoping that my deal with Emma and Brien goes through and that she is able to use the power to basically threaten everyone into voting the way that they said they were going to vote. Again, I REFUSE to let Chris go home this week. Not that I have anything against Silence because he's just like... there but I'm more worried about who is staying versus who needs to go. Anyways, Emma better not be lying about using this power now... or else I will come for her. Chris is like my little brother who is older then me and I will protect him at all costs that I can!

EMMA:

MACKENZIE:

i am NOT looking forward to this vote??? i still don’t know what im doing but i think this is going to be a shitshow

KORI:

So Kristine has dropped a shit load of Tea on me, which has led me to question everything. APPARENTLY there's a Gwen-Chris-Kristine-Brien Alliance. Additionally there was a Chris-Austin-Dem-Kristine alliance. (Though that 2nd one is kaputz with Austin wanting Chris out and Dem being upset with Austin.) Emma got that Vote Reveal which presumably, Myself and Jess know, and I can only imagine Kristine and Brien probably know given they were the other Light Blue property holders that both agreed to give the properties to Emma. So at the very least that's not a power I have to outright fear because I know who has it, I know what the Utilities did. (Sortof, still waiting on that Pandora's Box) The Browns are presumably gone assuming that Veto Shuffle was a one time thing. (That power honestly makes sense since Early on it's Useful but later in the game it'd be worthless.) Unfortunately either Eve or me is being hustled and given that Eve has a biased opinion others know about in relation to this vote, I'm liable to believe more people would lie to Eve about voting Chris than me just because I'm not a biased person right now. If it weren't for the heart to heart me and Chris had as well as really hashing it out with Gwen I don't think I'd be keeping Chris, however based on what I know about the Chris-Dem-Kristine relationship (Thanks Kristine) I doubt Dem was actually with Eve for the vote anyway, which means for Chris to go I'd have had to convince either Gwen or Emma to vote him out which we all know is against their best interests. My best bet right now is to try and recover from any blunders from this round with as much social capital I can walk away with and hope whatever happens with Pandora's Box doesn't just completely screw me over. I'm just ready for this headache of a week to be over, but given it's a live comp next, I'm expecting this next round to be just as trash.

[johnnybby]

steve & his gf’s wisdom teeth removal - headcanons

this dope ass idea was requested by @greasers-with-glitter - thank u & i hope u like them!! anything for ma boy steve.

for the first 5 minutes after surgery, you’re so quiet, like you’re not even talking 

“WHAT DID U DO TO HER”

“IS SHE OK”

“WHA T  HAPPEN D

and then u fucking lose it ???

u star screAMING AND YELLING AND LAUGHING AND DROOLING

AND STEVE GETS SO TENSE LIKE 

“WHAT DID U DO TO HER I SWEAR TO GOD ILL SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP UR ASS IF U DONT TEL-“

“steve, she’s on laughing gas. it might last for a while.”

and then u can see the tension leave his face while a lil mischevious smirk sets in and he’s just like

“oh.”

;)

he totally just wants to mess around w u now

“WHAT. IS. MY. NAME.”

“stheebe”

and he’s being an ASS SO HE CAN HEAR U FUCK HIS NAME UP AGAIN

“wAIT WHAT DID U SAY I COULDNT HEAR”

HE FINDS IT SO FUNNY SOMEONE HELP HIM

but after a while it gets annoying lmao

like in the car on the ride back home, he’ll be driving and you’ll be like

“STHEEBE, STHEEBE, LOOK STHEEBE”

& you’ll have him glance ur way while he drIVES & stick the middle finger all up in his face

“Y/N IM TRYING TO DRIVE”

and you tRY AND TAKE HOLD OF THE WHEEL & STEVE WILL TRY AND PRY UR FINGERS OFF OF IT

“Y/N WHAT R U DOIN UR GOING TO KILL US”

u stick ur head out the window while he’s driving and he is conceRned

u open ur mouth while ur out the window (??) and one of the gauze things flY OUT

“STHEEBE! MY TONGU E”

“IT FELL OUT”

“GET UR HEAD BACK INSIDE THE CAR, Y/N, YOURE NOT IN THE RIGHT STATE OF MIND RN”

“NO, WE’RE STILL IN OKLAHOMA”

but when u get ur head back inside, u yawn cause now you’re tired for some reason ???

AND THE OTHER GAUZE FALLS OUT UR MOUTH

“AH”

“MY OTHER TONGUE STHEEBE HELP”

you’re sporadically falling asleep

like even in the middle of you talking

“WHEN YOU CANT SNEETHE”

“DOES THAT MEAN THE SNEETHE CRAWLED BACK UP YOUR NOTHE”

“OR THAT IT WAS TOO SCARED TO CRAWL OU-”

aaaand ur sleeping

steve brings u to the Curtis house bc he cant do this by himself

“IDK HOW SHES GONNA B LIKE THIS FOR MUCH LONGER I NEED HE LP”

^^ *voice crack*

except the gang really isnt of much help cause they all wanna do is mess with u

"Y/N THE FUZZ IS CHASING aFTER U" (dally)

“dallY NO” (steve)

“i swEAR IM INNOCENT” (u)

“BUT THE BLOOD” (dally)

"STHEEBE WHO DID I KILL OH MY GOD MY PARENTS ARE GONNA KILL ME" (u)

cue the waterworks!!

soda & two are trying way too hard not to laugh

but two is deadass walking off into the kitchen cackling LIKE A FUCKING WITCH

SODA'S PRACTICALLY CRYING BC ITS SO FUNNY

DAL HAS A FEW CHUCKLES

DARRY'S THE ONE TO GRAB TWO BY THE SHOULDERS AND TAKE HIM INTO THE KITCHEN BC NEITHER OF THEM CAN STOP LAUGHING

johnny, pony and steve are the only ones concerned for u, like they’re trying to help u stop crying

johnny and pony got u tissues and steve got u ice cream but u start crying more

“why cant you eat the ice cream????” (my man is stressed rn)

“i loST MY TONGUES U KNOW THIS STEVE”

steve is so spent lmfao he needs a nap

[hlvrai-but-im-crying]

actually the only reason this post was short is cause i was clocking in & now that im in. i will continue

so the premise is that hes a literal ghost in the code, like he was a programmer that died on the job for Whatever reason (i mean. im chronically ill so. realistic i think)

at this point he has next to no specific memories of who he was before he died. he Knows his name, he still remembers how code works bc he still fucks w the code fairly often, and he knows he was a Person who Died. he doesnt explicitly remember that he was a programmer for this game but like. he can figure out it

(by which i mean it never occurs to him until someone points it out as a possibility and then he just. freezes for a second, shrugs, and goes "oh huh. makes sense")

technically he himself doesnt have coding. hes not even meant to be in the game but since he isnt code the game cant delete him.

in fact, the game never notices him. at least not for a long ass time. normal nps cant see, hear, or physically interact with him.

the science team (and benrey) can see and hear him but hes still uninteractable. anything they try to do to him just. phases thru, and vice versa. he appears opaque tho, unless somethings actively phasing thru him.

further, i read this novel when i was 13 and its stuck with me, ive been dying to use this concept in something so: that doesnt only apply to the other characters or objects, if he looses focus or stands still for too long he will start clipping thru the map as well. as a result he paces a Lot. he Doesnt sleep.

(another reference to that novel, which i cant remember the name of but it starts with "ever" i think. (my brain keeps saying everchase but thats the tma thing and it wouldnt make sense) - he only remembers his name bc he starts forgetting so he writes it down. a lot. if u pat him down hes probably still got a few scraps of paper with his name scribbled on it in several of his pockets.)

mm. as far as his actual interactions with canon would go, hes kind of. lost it just a Bit maybe. has a hard time understanding things that r said to him (its easier if its written down), has no conception of "appropriate," and either stutters or says about 3 words at a time. but is overall kind and well intentioned. but also he doesnt blink. he stopped thinking about it ???? a long time ago bc the npcs dont blink so he stopped doing it too.

maybe he was responsible, in fact, for the science team being Weird. mmmaybe he fucked w their code or somethin trying to accomplish anything and it snowballed from there.

also w his programming knowledge hed be happy to help figure out how to get them all free. except he doesnt have a file that can be moved like them. this could provide Angst but i dont really care abt that rn so meh. actually nvm. just a little angst.

he works on them, but slowly. he hopes its not noticably slowly, he hopes no one else involved in this knows enough abt programming to tell what is and isnt too long, but eventually someone asks why its taking so long (hdhsjs probably bubby), and hes a terrible liar. "...dont want you to l. leave" "what the FUCK does that mean, youre coming with us" "mmm. no. cant."

and he then has to figure out how to explain the fact that he doesnt have code, maybe a bit by now, since hes interacting with other characters in the game and their "memories" of him ARE in the code, but not enough to bring his whole self over - he could use what bits of code are associated to him to attempt to make more or less a copy of himself but then it gets into soma territory and we all know how THAT goes.

honestly i want to happy end it but i cant think of how itd work. not that it Matters ofc. every thought i have abt it just goes back to soma

mmm i have approximately “a few” ideas for an hlvrai oc but it’ll never see the light of day fully bc i have no desire or interest in actually doing anything with that asdfasdf. 

[sabraeal]

Merry and Bright: Part 2

Shirayuki awakens in freefall, promptly brought to an unpleasant end by her whole body slapping against the bedroom floor.

She groans; she’s not hurt besides the angry sting of where her skin hit hardwood, but her pride is certainly wounded. The last time she fell out of a bed, she must have been in the single digits. She better not be coming down with something; vertigo is one of those symptoms that makes WebMD speculate about brain tumors and lupus, and she just doesn’t need that kind of stress three months into her PhD.

She levers herself up onto her knees, blearily peering up at the clock on the bedside table. The numbers swim in her vision for a long moment before the first settles into a glaring red seven. It’s far too early to be functioning, and she’s clearly disoriented by it; this hardly even looks like her room –

Obi lets out a loud huff, hand flopping over the edge of the bed, and she is abruptly aware that this is not her room, and that they are not in their apartment. This is Obi’s old room, untouched since the night her left. And this is not her bed, but –

She scrambles to her feet, staring down at the broad expanse of Obi’s back, the long spread of his limbs – and rolls her eyes. No wonder she ended up on the floor.

“Obi.” She shoves at his side, prodding fingers into his ribs. Her hardly budges. “Obi, come on, you can’t take up the whole bed.”

He grunts into the pillows, hunkering further into the mattress.This is a lost cause.

Shirayuki snatches his hoodie from the chair, shrugging it over her shoulders as she shuffles to the stairs. Even from the top landing she catches the rich scent of coffee and the savory smell of bacon. Her stomach growls, reminding her it’s been a long while since she last ate, and it was only some chicken bites and a biscuit from when they detoured through the rest area for dinner.

(”You’re killing me,” he tells her, pulling out of the drive through. “I didn’t even know there was a non-fried option on the menu.”

“It looked like the healthiest thing.” She pops one in her mouth and is assaulted by salt. She’s hungry enough that she likes it. “They’re roasted.”

“Doc, the whole thing comes with fries and a biscuit.” He glances at her disapprovingly before gunning it onto the highway. “There’s not a thing about that place that’s healthy.”

“Oh, you can have mine, by the way,” she tells him. “The fries I mean.”

He sighs. “Just feed me my dirty rice.”)

She hesitates. It feels strange to go see Bob and Gayle without him. They’re not her family, and she – she doesn’t know if he would be comfortable with her talking with them. Especially talking with them about him. She doesn’t know what he wants them to know or, more importantly, not know.

The decision is abruptly made for her when a black and tan puffball plants itself at the bottom of the stairs and howls.

“Oh, Shirayuki, honey!” Gayle calls up. “Is that you?”

She grimaces, trying to glare at the dog but – it’s just too cute. She can’t blame it for being excited. “Yes.”

“I wasn’t sure if you’d be up.” Gayle’s voice gets closer as she makes her way to the kitchen, tiny dog in tow. “There’s pancakes warming in the oven, ig you’re hungry for them.”

“There’s enough to feed an army,” Bob informs her over the top of the paper.”

Gayle snaps her head around to scold, but Shirayuki says, “Oh good, just enough for Obi.”

The two of them exchange a glance before laughter bubbles out. “True enough,” Bob admits. “Make sure you leave enough.”

“I see you’ve met the Baron.” Gayle nods to her tiny shadow.

“Oh, yes.” She glances down at the fluff curled below her chair. “We met on the stairs.”

“He’s friendly,” she assures Shirayuki, as if the light puppy-snores were not a ringing endorsement for his personality.

“Even friendlier if you bribe him with bacon.”

“Bob.” Gayle send her husband a warning look. Bob, for his part, only winks over the tech section.

“Did you sleep well?” Gayle asks, casual, and Shirayuki feels her shoulders tense.

(“Is this all right?” Obi asks the skin of her neck, his hand hot against her stomach, his belly curving along her spine. There’s nothing for it, she knows, he’s taller than the mattress is long, it’s the only way they’ll fit –

She swallows hard. “Yeah, that’s fine.”)

“Yes.” She rubs at her eyes, hisses as she hits a bump on her nose.

(“OW,” she hisses, clutching her face. Obi startles, his eyes slitting open as he moves his elbow away. He’s taken up half the bed by now, Shirayuki only holding onto the last bastion by the pillows. “Why?”

“Sorry,” he slurs, not sounding the least bit sincere. She rolls up onto her knees, leaning over him.

“How have you had people in your bed before?” she asks, annoyed. “Did you just hide the bodies?”

“Well, Doc,” he drawls sleepily, stretching so that the cotton of his shirt rubs against her palms. “We weren’t exactly sleeping.”)

“As well as could be expected,” Shirayuki amends awkwardly. Bob chokes a little on his coffee, and she realizes there is a whole category of other reasons she might not have gotten enough sleep.

Obi really needs to explain some things.

Gayle levels a glare over her shoulder at her husband. “We weren’t sure if you’d make it to breakfast,” she says. “We weren’t sure if you were an early bird or a…”

“Whatever Obi is,” Bob finished, his mouth lifted up in the corner.

“Did he sleep late when he was here?” she asks.

“I’d faint from shock if he managed to locate an hour before ten,” Gayle laughed, handing her a plate of pancakes and bacon. “Coffee?”

“Ah, no, none for me please.” She takes the plate, wondering what Obi’s – what Bob and Gayle would say if they knew that he regularly taught the eight am section of Shidan’s class. What they would think if they knew he said better to get it over with earlier than later.

Gayle gives her a long look as she digs into her breakfast. It’s delicious, melting on her tongue. “You’re a cocoa girl, aren’t you?”

She blinks. “If you have it…”

“Of course.” Gayle bustles about the kitchen with purpose. “One of our girls – Kelly Ann, you’ll meet her today – she’s a cocoa girl too. Always have to keep the good stuff around for her.”

“And now you,” Bob prompts with an absent smile.

“And now you,” Gayle agrees. “I’m glad you decided to come.”

“Me too.” Shirayuki swallows her bite of pancakes. “It’s good that Obi –”

“No, no, honey,” Gayle puts a hand on her shoulder, and it’s as loving and warm as Shirayuki remembers her own grandmother’s being. “I’m glad you came. I’m sure being back here is going to be…hard for Obi. But knowing he’s found himself a girl that wants to stay by his side for something like this…I’m glad he’s done so well for himself. He was all rough edges when he came here.”

“He had more than a few of those when we met,” Shirayuki admits with a grin.

Gayle’s hand squeezes her gently. “And it speaks leagues about you that you took him as he was.”

“It’s….um….” Shirayuki takes the cocoa offered to her absently, staring down into the whipped cream. “I…”

“I’m looking forward to getting to know you better, Shirayuki.” Gayle smiles, glancing back at her husband. “We both are.”

“…Great.” Shirayuki takes a sip of her cocoa. It’s the best she’s ever tasted.

 The humming won’t stop.

Obi reaches out a hand, slapping at the beside table that isn’t fucking there. He lifts his head, blearily searching the room, only – it’s not his.

More accurately, it isn’t his anymore.

He groans, dropping his head into the pillow. It’s coming back to him now: Christmas, Bob and Gayle, twelve hours of driving to gets across the Carolinas, Doc in his bed…

Oh god. Shirayuki is sleeping in his bed.

The hum starts up again.

Oh right, his phone. His phone is going off. That makes sense. That is a thing that makes sense, unlike any of the other things running through his head right now.

He flicks the screen open, and there are just a fuckton of texts, all from Zen. Because of course, of course the only way to start of his stressful family vacation is with guilt.

“Ugh, mother fucker,” he moans before rolling onto his back, scrolling through about a thousand single-period texts before he finds one from late last night.

Did you guys get in okay?

ru fukn srs rn?

Is that English? Should I be able to read that? At least I know you’re alive now

ur a fukn siko w ur prds get a lyf man im not a frm u cant just bmp a topic wtf im alive slept well just got up

Is Shirayuki up too? I haven’t heard back from her

i dunno i dont c her in bed so prob

He has just enough time to be aware of how stupid he is before Zen texts him back.

What do you mean you don’t see her in bed??? Are you sleeping in the same bed????? OBI???????

g2g brkfst