#dont touch castiel's baby

[via-l0ve]

i saw ur spn works n i looooveeee them :3 if u dont mind.. could u write ab dean, sam, n cas with a reader whos touch averse but also touch starved? very very uncomfortable with touch from other people (to the point of feeling sick or a breakdown) but when it comes to them, reader loves their touch (has a hard time initiating it though) reader will only ever tolerate their touch, it makes them feel so comfortable <3

Touchy (SPN Pref!) 🩷

a/n: i’m back babies :3 hope you enjoy :)

warnings: nothing! very slight angst because of crying and struggle to explain feelings.

Dean:

it takes dean a minute to realize how special he is to you

over the years, he had seen you flinch and squirm away from others touches

he’d been there to comfort you after a particularly hard time, consoling you when you break down from the overwhelming touches of other people

so when you guys started dating, naturally he was cautious around you

he loves you more than anything, but his worst fear was upsetting you

at first, he almost never touched you

until one day when you stood next to him, he saw you reaching your hand near his and pulling away, practically shaking

he acts on impulse, taking your hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze

after that, he was the only one who was allowed to touch you

and if ANYONE ever stepped beyond your boundaries

dean would bury his fist in their face before their fingers could graze you

—

Sam:

Sam always tried to understand why you hated the touch of people but yet yearned for it

He always intimidated people if they touched you, threatening them if they chose to not listen to your social cues

He was always there for you

24/7/365 whenever you felt uncomfortable, he wanted you to tell him

which is why, he suspects, when you started going out, he touched you rarely

he’d graze your hand with his or rub food or makeup off of your face

but when you told him through tears how much you loved his touch, he realized

you needed it. you just didn’t know how to say it.

so since then same always has contact with you when he is near you

whether it be an arm around your shoulders, his hand on your thigh, fingers interlocked, anything

he’d never let go

—

Castiel:

my baby :(

he always was so concerned about your feelings

he never wants anything to upset you

he especially never wanted to upset you

he always asks about your boundaries, why you don’t like people touching you, what he could do to help, etc

the one time that he witnessed you break down, he was the most concerned he had ever been.

heaven couldn’t prepare him for the love he felt for you

When a nasty hunt happened, castiel was scared seeing the blood seep from your clothes

you stumble to the bed, shaking and crying from the pain in your abdomen

cas rests his hands on your stomach, whispering some consoling words and “i’m sorry”’s for touching you

but he was surprised when you didn’t say anything, just grabbing his hand after he had healed you

“are you alright?” he asks, but then realizes

you just want his touch

only his

and Castiel smiles the biggest you’d ever seen and keeps a gentle hand on your stomach.

[jackexmachina]

spn + text posts

image description: clips from “Sin City,” “After School Special,” “The Rapture,” “The Great Escapist,” “About A Boy,” “Our Little World,” “Lost and Found,” “Various & Sundry Villains,” “Unfinished Business,” and “Proverbs 17:3” paired with tumblr text posts

13x01: Jack is across from Sam in the holding cell of a police station, and he moves to sit cross-legged on a bench. His brow is furrowed and he looks concerned, then he looks up at Sam saying, “Will you tell them that I’m sorry?” text post from jame7t reads [sorry for being lovable and cute & sweet. AND adorable.]

15x05: Sam picks up his cell phone from a table in the bunker, it shows several unanswered texts to Cass which read “Hey Cass checking in.” “How are you doing? Everything ok?” “Cass call me we need to talk.” “Didn’t realize you were taking off.” “Service sucks in the bunker, want to make sure you’re getting these?” “Call me when you can.” “Want to make sure you’re ok?” text post from papayajuan2019 reads [people who dont double text are in such mental prisons. i will text seven times if it requires it]

13x12: Dean stands in front of Sam in the bunker, he makes a sweeping motion with his hand saying, “It is gorgeous outside.” Sam puts a hand on his shoulder, telling him to stop as he turns away, but then Dean punches him and knocks him out. Dean winces as he watches Sam fall to the floor. text post from fungalfaggot reads [oh you’re touch starved? here eat up *fucking punches you*]

4x13: young!Sam in a flashback turns in his chair to glare at a school bully, saying, “Yeah, sure.” text post from evilvillain123456789 reads [fifth grader’s report card with straight As and at the bottom the teacher wrote “extremely violent and dangerous young man”]

11x06: Several moving close-up shots of Castiel standing at the door leading outside the bunker, he is suffering from PTSD flashbacks. He looks haggard and disoriented. text post from elytrians reads [“you look tired” well the torment is relentless and the horrors never cease]

4x20: Sam moves away from a demon and the lower half of his face is covered with demon blood, his teeth are bared and his eyes look animalistic. He turns around to stand up and sees Dean and Castiel in Claire’s vessel watching him, disturbed. His face falls, caught. text post from dogmotif reads [haha hey i love the blood dripping from your face and the animal rage in your eyes whats your pronouns]

13x20: Gabriel watches Sam, calculating, but then he turns to look at Dean. Dean rolls his eyes, shrugging in acquiescence. text post from annabelle--cane reads [it’s rotten work. especially to me especially if it’s you. I’ll fucking do it but christ alive.]

8x21: Sam stands in front of Dean in a hallway, slightly delirious and telling Dean about a memory from when he was very young. He says he was thinking, “I could never go on a quest like that.” He is almost smiling as he finishes speaking. text post from soulmvtes reads [trying to outgrow the deep shame and embarrassment woven into my existence wbu]

10x12: age-regressed Dean stands in front of Sam outside a witch’s lair, saying, “First time you ever had to say that, huh?” and grinning. Sam glares at him, bending down a little to respond, “Big talk coming from the dude wearing underoos.” text post from monelyslave-noscopekween600thou reads [I’m at the doctor office and this baby keeps yelling “I want donow” (mcdonalds) and the big brother (I assume) said “all the mcdonalds burnt down, there’s no more mcdonalds”]

3x04: Sam stands at the door to an office he’s just broken into, telling them, “Have a nice day?” He tries to smile but then quickly leaves, cringing painfully as he walks away. text post from kristina100000 reads [we should all be 6′5 with 250lbs of muscle mass with a heart of a darling]

[castiel--for--king]

like I love Castiel and I love Dean and I love Destiel but fuck dean like i love him but fuck that guy he's such a dick

again. love him, but fuck him, don't touch my murderous baby angel. like hug him and cherish him but dont you dare touch him

hope that clears things up

[angelwolf985]

finished watching supernatural s1-15 in 3 months! here are my opinions on the finale!

(warning: probably unintelligible, and very ranty) (+ obvious spoiler warning)

episode 18 was fuckin emaculate. genuinly. it was amazing. the one thing i didnt like about it was how it jumped about, same with 19.( i dont blame them for it tho, it makes sense with the story, i just didnt really love it.) 19 was good for the most part and served as a decent ending but was missing castiel and eileen (mention + presence) which sucked but what can you expect yk,,

episode 20. i have. so many issues with episode 20. WHY DID THEY EVEN????? LIKE TWO MENTIONS OF CAS, NO MENTION OF EILEEN, DEAN FUCKING DIEING, SAMS WIG, ???HEAVEN BEING LACKLUSTER???? it was so. just disappointing. cuz it could've been great. the end part of 20 was the only good part (jared and jensen signing off of the show). the show should've ended on 19 tbh. thats how im seeing it anyway. in my mind thats where it ended, but like, with cas and eileen back.

what i really disliked:

deans death. im pretty sure everyone hated that. and the whole like thing of him dying was really,, sorta,, weird? like; why did it go on so long?? did it happen bc he doesnt have god given plot armor anymore or was it just cuz?did jack see it? how did he feel about it? did he care or did he be all omniscient because he became god?? how did he survive that long? logistically? there was a fucking rusty rebar thing IN HIS SPINE (or like RIGHT NEXT TO IT??). WOULD THAT NOT?? PARALYZE?? OR WORSE???. and, im sorry, but i hated the forehead touch. it felt weird man. i get that they were close but,, not that close? even when they were more unhealthily codependent they wouldn't have done that. i think so anyway. i dunno. also. DEAN HAS SHOWN MULTIPLE TIMES AND IM SURE THE WRITERS WERE OVERTLY AWARE THAT DEAN DID NOT WANT TO DIE ON THE JOB. HE WANTED TO RETIRE WITH SAM AND CAS. ALWAYS WANTED THAT. he often said shit like "we're gonna die on the job, draw the short stick, thats just how it is, how its gonna end for us." (mixing quotes from the top of my head so, not exact) which he clearly thought would happen because pessimism but he NEVER wanted that. for HIMSELF or SAM. dean dying in this episode IS A CRITICAL DISSERVICE TO HIS CHARACTER.

sams mystery wife and (non mystery) child. BLURRY FACE WIFE. WHY IS SHE. WHY. also- how did he recover (seemingly) so quickly? i mean- if he really believed dean was gone FOREVER. when death hasnt meant forever in forever, how would he be so okay? idk. also, idk why, but sam having a kid seems very bizzare. could just be me. also. where tf is eileen. is she the blurry face wife? why would they do that if yes? (could be a load or reasons, either way they couldve like, said it was eileen, if it was supposed to,, idk,,,)

one or two mentions of castiel. did the writers just forget his CHARACTER IMPORTANCE?!?!? HES SO IMPORTANT TO THE STORY??? HE GRIPPED DEAN TIGHT AND RAISED HIM FROM PERDITION. HE LOVED DEAN. DEAN (INARGUABLY) LOVED HIM BACK. he (castiel) deserved SO. much better. my friend who has watched spn since she was a baby AGREES WITH ME. i GRRR I GRR I GRRR!!!! cas not being in this episode is such an aggravating disservice to his character. he deserved more. the fans deserved more.

alright im done ranting now. may add more on later. im gonna go rewatch the show and read fix it fics.

[driftwooddestiel]

below the cut is my “sonfs i NEED to amv” list, directly copy pasted from my notes app . this is a culmination of all my ideas its my magnum opus

even when the wayers cold (lisa maybe??)

golden skans (sam faith amv maybe???)

saving grace (the cranberriesnatural real)

spsceman (castiel, anna, amara and other characters ‘falling to earth’ growing to love humanity hear me out)

(coffees for closers) [fallout boy] (faith throughout supernatural)

w.a.m.s (destiel & purgatory and stuff arc alsoo apocapy’…

float on (everyone :) ) happy birthday dean ? what if they were happy…

am i ever gonna see your face again (destiel and their many widowed arcs)

when will you die (fbi/police & their run ins with dean and sam) OR (chuck and his constant attempts to change and regulate the charcaters) maybe both…

the girl of my dreams is giving me nightmares (samruby demon blood arc) this one is TOP PRIORITY!!!!!!!! because its so special to me forever (first ever amv idea ever :O)

things go bump in the night from the scooby doo movie! silly

monkey gone to heaven (pixies) with dean or sam and deaths idk what else to say okay

tame (pixies) with kripke era dean

no 13 baby - s4/s5 destiel… handprint……… hear me out…. EDIT: i dont remember writing this??? i dont really know how this even makes sense but i trust u past me kind of

Mr Hyde (bb brunes) - demon dean and/or mark of cain dean … maybe drowley??

turn the lights off (tally hall) - something about monsters demons etc as a queer allegory okay just . hear me out

call me maybe (carly rae jepsen) destiel early seasons please just hear me out on this one

excuses ou mensonges (orelsan) - nick and lucifer idk i just think maybe..

your body my temple sam and lucifer hear me out ACTUALLY JUSTG SMA AND AUTONOMY 

killing time 2.0 (american psycho tha musical) chuck and wnding the world ^_^

needle in the hay (elliot smith) - dean. throws up and dies

mask of my own face (lemon demon) - gabriel :)

what sarah said (death cab for cutie) - destiel and all cas’ deaths. throws up

(ANIAMTION) oatmeal (jack stauber) - the archangels 

i cant be with you (the cranberries) - destiel

private life (oingo boingo) - the bunker (probably dean focused… maybe even destiel you know how it is)

hymn for a scarecrow (tally hall) - the angels

VIDEO GAMES (LANA DEL RAY) DESTIEL IM GOING TO DIEA

ELECTROMAGNETIC SPECTRUM SONG!!!

curious (franz ferdinand) - destiel cas pov EDIT: okay another one i have no memory of writing

ode to my family (the cranberries) - jo harvelle

right action (franz ferdinand) - tfw and their many mistakes etc

johnny delusional (ffs) - chouse…………………………………..

hot to go (chappell roan) - dean being a hot girl summer tm

the bad touch (bloodhound gang) - hannigram… the sillies… do u feel me

judas (lady gaga) - hannigram my goofy guys. hannibal pov

sweet tangerine (the hush sound) - hannigram . more serious. hannibal pov again

nobody likes me everybody hates me guess ill go eat worms (idk artist) - hannibal :3

complicated (avril lavigne) - skyler white, about walter

boom clap (charli xcx) - hilson. no im not insane.

need you tonight (inxs) - hannigram. cmon. you see it

pop culture (youtube, forgot artist) - homestuck ‼️ 

everytime (butterfingers) - dean!!! hear me out okay. it also works so well for adam saw but unfortunately he has so little footage :(

i just had sex (the lonely island feat. akon) - saw characters getting out of traps and stuff this is such a silly idea but i laugh every time i think of it

[spnsmile]

Strike (My Heart)

SPNSTAYATHOME @pray4jensen​ @helianthus21​ @bend-me-shape-me​

Monday: Thunder

When Billie came to the Bunker, she found the couple pressed by the control panel in a messy tangle of heat skin, legs wrapped around naked waist and flushed faces— silence fell upon the earth.

Not a pin drop could be heard from the distracted couple who stares Death in the eyes. Death who didn’t bat an eyelid before pulling her eyes to survey the empty vicinity. When she looked back, Dean was making a face, certain now that Death wasn’t going anywhere. There’s a staring contest until Castiel nudges the hunter’s chin with his cheeks. They whisper at each other. Dean’s face contorting even more, then both stare at her again. When Billie didn’t disappear, a very annoyed hunter glares and says—

"Do you mind? Can't you see we're a little caught up here?"

Billie flickers impassive eyes to Castiel who quietly presses his lips and turns to hide his face on Dean's other shoulder, the tip of his ears red. Dean scowls at her. Next thing, the angel pushes Dean away and ducks to grab his discarded pants on the floor. Dean grumbles after him and follows suit.

Death ignores the sounds of belts and zippers around her until both are decent enough to face her untimely visit.

“I need to speak to Jack.” She says.

“Well, why don’t you pop up where he is and stop getting in other people’s way, how about that?” Dean says, clearly unforgiving. “There’s plenty of room in the house, right?”

“I told you this was not a proper place,” Castiel mutters, trying to pat away the wrinkles on his shirt where Dean’s hands had been. Dean moodily helps him with his tie while Billie’s eyes narrow at the two.

"I need you both to concentrate."

“No shit.” Dean arches an eyebrow. Castiel elbows him but too late. Billie transfixes Dean a cold stare and yes, when you’ve started two Deaths in the eyes it makes things a little cliché, so what makes this any different?

Except Death doesn’t discriminate. Wielding her scythe, she propels it to the floor with a flash and bang— a loud crack of thunder overhead and then she’s gone, leaving Dean taking steps back from Castiel, feeling the air around the angel zinging in a familiar way. He makes a move to approach Cas again but the angel, blue eyes striking and all, glares at him with jaws clenched.

“Don’t.”

Dean stares.

Shit.   What did Billie do?

“What do you mean you can’t touch Cas?” Sam demands later when he and Castiel figure out what happened.

“I mean it in every literal way, Sammy.” Dean smiles despite it all. Sam wasn't amused. The brothers are sitting by the library table while across them, Castiel and Jack are listening quietly. Dean catches Cas’ eyes and they both grimace at the space apart.

“So you mean, if you touch Cas— fuck you , stop grinning!”

“Let me  strike  you an example.” Dean stands up and heads to where Castiel is sitting. The angel sits straight and frowns when he sees the hunter approach him.

“Dean.” He warns in his gravelly voice.

“Don’t worry, Cas, let’s just show em—”

“I don’t think it’s safe—”

“Just hold out your hand, or a finger, okay?”

Castiel is obviously very much against it but he did. Sam and Jack watch as Dean raises one finger to touch the pad of Castiel’s hand. The instant he did, thunder rumbled in the walls of the Bunker and a strike that doesn’t appear to be physical seems to hit the hunter.

Strike 1.

Dean grimaces with all the hair in his body standing on ends. Sam gapes, Jack’s eyes are round while the angel squints at his boyfriend with an I-told-you-so expression.

“She made Cas— untouchable?” Sam guesses but there’s Jack patting Castiel’s shoulder and nothing happens. The Winchesters exchange looks, then there’s Sam stepping close to Castiel.

“Sam.” Is the only thing Castiel said but then Sam is also patting his shoulder and nothing happens.

That’s when all three eyes fall on Dean whose frown deepens, finally understanding Death’s curse. Even Castiel looks lost for a moment.

“What exactly did you do?” Sam asks suspiciously, though there’s an edge in his tone that suggests he knows exactly  what. “Dude, you’re an idiot. Do you really have to go piss off all the gods in this universe to make a point?”

“I didn’t know Billie was gonna make house-calls for her daily job. But more importantly, what are we gonna do now? How do we fix this?” he throws the question straight to Castiel. The two of them stare at each other, mutually trying to communicate how the hell they’re going to go around it.

“I think this is the part where they say,  ‘save yourself’ .” Castiel offers in the silence, a feat which everyone knows Dean sucks at.

***

By supper all the research and summon come fruitless so Cas and Dean are forced to stay away on corners of the kitchen table. It didn’t bother Sam and Jack because they can still approach Dean and Castiel without literally getting hit by lightning. It didn’t seem to bother Castiel too because the angel is immune to any lightning strike, leaving Dean a pile of rejection because Castiel won’t let him any nearer until they find a way to ‘ not get Dean hurt,’ .

“That’s bullshit!”

Castiel lets Dean get struck by lightning three strikes in a row. The fourth strike he tells Dean to fuck off where the man sulks in one corner not talking to anyone.

Dean is left to admire Cas from the side, sulk even as Castiel has fun with Sam and Jack on the table where Dean chose not to sit. Castiel glances his way when he is not preoccupied and stares, he gives Dean is apologetic and sad. There was nothing they could do less Dean embrace all the lightning strikes and claps of thunder— something Castiel would never approve of so they separated. For Dean’s sake.

Dean hates every second of it. There are times he can’t control it. Be it an accident or simply on purpose because Dean likes trying his luck.

Castiel knows what Dean was doing. It didn’t take him long to guess when Dean yet again tried standing behind him from the sink or when Dean extended his hand on the table with Castiel at the other end, indicating that Cas reached out too. The angel ignores him.

“I’m leaving for an indefinite period of time,” Castiel tells Sam one evening when at the last straw he escapes Dean’s arms when Dean tries to tackle him in the kitchen again, leaving the hunter shutting himself off in his room in frustration. “I can’t take this, Sam. Your brother just keeps throwing himself at me, if I stay here, he’ll eventually gets toasted—”

“Is that smarter?” Sam asks with a pointed look at the angel, “Cas, Dean’s been… dying to hold your hand. You think running away will hold him back?”

“I’m not sure anything can hold him back.” Castiel gives a shaky laugh. “I just want to protect him, Sam… even if it means pulling away…”

“So is the same song we sing every time we care too much, Cas. But at the end of it, Dean will be hurt. You’re just choosing another way for him to feel it.”

Castiel stays silent, Sam lets him. After a moment, he turns a somber look over the entrance to the corridors where his ears can pick up Dean’s sharp intake of breath.

“Must be hard to have a pain in the ass lover?” Sam’s smile is teasing. Castiel bows his head with a chuckle, before glancing up to meet Sam’s eyes.

“I’ll take Dean in any way.”

“Thank you, Cas… for always looking after Dean.”

“You know I’d do anything for him…but… why do you think Dean thinks he’s the only one desperate to touch?” the question leaves his mouth before he can stop himself. Sam gives him a small smile and like a real sympathizer, Sam grips his shoulder in a friendly gesture.

“Hang in there, Cas. You and Dean can get through this too.”

Castiel nods, trusting Sam’s words of wisdom.

Three days later and still no solution, Dean has had enough. He is painfully aware of the time that he isn’t holding Castiel or kissing his back, his shoulders, his lips too soft and plush—

Enough.

He chances Castiel along the corridor where the angel’s blue eyes flicker in familiarity, a smile upon his lips that quickly disappears when Dean walks straight to him and embraces him tightly.

A rumble comes—another crack of thunder. Followed by Castiel shouting Dean’s name in both stricken and exasperated tone.

Sam and Jack glance at each other from across the table in the library. Light nights strike again and more shouting. Sam shakes his head, giving up as he looks back at his research, sighing.

“Idiot.”

Inside the Dean Cave is a lightning show. Dean traps Castiel in by standing in front of the doorway with a determined look, his arms wide open like a goal-keeper in some frenzy soccer ball. Castiel stands at the end of the room with the couch and table between them.

“Stop it, Dean!” Castiel grates, blue eyes flashing. “You’re only going to hurt yourself!”

“I don’t care! Three days is long enough! A man’s gotta feed!”

“Feed—?”

“You!” Dean takes a step forward and every time he draws closer, the air around Dean spins.

“You’re being ridiculous! You know we can’t!”

“Oh, yes can ! Give up, Cas! Just come here and gimme a nice little squish!”

“Forget it, Dean! Why don’t you find someone else to scratch your itch!” Color leaves Castiel’s face the moment he says it. Dean grins.

“You want me hitting on some hot girl outside?”  

“If you’re that desperate!” Castiel growls. Dean’s eyes glints playfully.

“Fine.” He lowers his arms and stands straight. “I’m going then.”

Castiel falls silent with a flash of hurt in his eyes. Dean laughs and takes several steps to the distracted angel who finds himself immediately trapped with a wall behind him. Dean’s upon him the second he looks back. Damn hunter agility.

Still, his eyes are on Dean speaking volumes of uncertainties.

“You’re going, Dean?”

“Of course not, dummy. Come on, man! We’re not children to play who’s gonna be more mature, think we’ve done enough!”

Castiel bristles. “Stop it.”

“I want you!”

“You’ll hurt yourself!”

“It’s fine!”

“NO!”

“Cas— dammit, I’m already in pain—if I’m gonna die then at least let me kiss you one last time!”

“You’re not going to die, Dean, but I won’t let you get—"

They’re both being dramatic and silly but the cracking of thunder is unforgiving and lightning over Dean won’t stop striking. Castiel watches in horror as every bolt hits Dean solid—they haven’t figured out why the lightning seems both tolerable and painful for Dean at the same time The only truth Castiel knows is that every time Dean gets a strike, his whole body turns white to the point you don't need to be an angel to see through his body. Something about Dean burns.

It wasn’t a fun sight to see.

“Dean, let go!” Castiel shouts trying to pull away but won’t budge,  “DEAN! LET GO!”

"No!" Dean's arms trembles.

"Why are you doing this!?"  Castiel watches in terror.

"Don't play dumb, Cas! I know you want-- shit!"

"DEAN!"

Lightning dances in Castiel’s eyes and Dean gets toasted.

“NO!”

All the lightning bolts suddenly get siphoned by Jack who acts like a conductor. He draws all the lightning and rolls of thunder his way, consuming all the energy with hands clutching Dean’s shoulder until they go away.

Leaving Castiel with an unconscious Dean wrapped in his arms. He heals Dean at one embrace, keeps healing Dean just to make sure there was no damage on any of his organs or nerves. He kisses Dean too for good measure.

The warning roll of thunder never came. Dean remains safe in his arms so Castiel holds him closer, buries his fingers on Dean’s side. Jack helps him put Dean on the couch with the angel setting Dean’s head on his lap. There he strokes Dean’s soft hair quietly. Jack returns to tell Sam what happened and that everything’s okay.

Finally, Dean stirs. Castiel holds his breath as the familiar green eyes find his.

He strokes Dean’s cheeks and when the man opens his eyes, the angel beams from ear to ear.

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean takes Castiel’s face for a moment then smiles sleepily. He reaches for Castiel’s hand and pulls it to his lips. Castiel smiles warmly, butterflies in his stomach spinning like it’s been hit by a light bolt. That’s just it. They don’t need any thunder or lightning. They are enough.

“Can we kiss now?”

Castiel gives Dean the longest, sweetest kiss he can muster.

Dean Winchester yet again was able to strike home in the angel's little heart.

@verobatto-angelxhunter​ laaaatteeeee ;p

AO3

[lemon-wedges]

Babynatural ep where dean replaces their broken bathroom door with one he found randomly in the bunker, not realizing its enchanted and sealed whatever room its behind. Dean breaks every lock pick he owns, cas gets a warlock to enchant an axe to destroy it and sam finds the key under a table :) 

Inspired by This. because i originally wanted to do some redraws of vintage illustrations with some spn hijinks >:) but ran out of steam before i could start the background ;-;

[lakka-arts]

finale? what finale? all I know is dean winchester and his husband castiel winchester with their 3 y.o. son jack kline-winchester

[chocolatecakecas]

cas is a glow stick

[ceruleantinted]

jesus fUCK

CAS WILL DIE ON A THURSDAY

ON THURSDAY

it just hit suddenly.. fuck me

SO MUCH PAIN AND SUFFERING AND EVEN MORE TO COME I CANNOT-

[kingdino]

not only does Free To Be You And Me (5x3) sound extremely queer, i am highly convinced that this was the episode Dean was like ‘oh shit maybe I do like him’

[lezarus]

*in the tone of a starved Victorian boy begging for morsels on the street* can i hear your defense of twist and shout please madam

rly quick disclaimer that if the reason u dislike t&s is that ur uncomfortable with like not super sensitive depictions of the aids crisis/ptsd/the vietnam war for personal reasons i think thats like completely fair and im not trying to make anyone feel bad for that

THAT BEING SAID twist and shout is like genuinely the best fic ever written.

first off. if u werent there u dont know. im not trying to gatekeep but genuinely if u werent in the fandom in like 2012-14 its impossible to state the impact that twist and shout had on destiel fans in those years. theres a REASON misha used cant help falling in love with you as the song on his cas pride post bc twist and shout changed the GAME.

it has some of the most memorable lines ive ever read in a fic ‘thats my baby you don’t understand thats my baby’ ‘HES SIN CASTIEL’ ‘throw me on the street ill still let him fuck me’ im not even looking these up i literally just remember them off the top of my head.

but thats like kind of surface level stuff the thing that makes me love this fic so much. the thing that makes me go back to it time and time again is that its achingly, painfully sincere. its REAL. blah blah blah twist and shout is cringe twist and shout is a genuinely touching and emotional story abt the transformative, devotional power of love told without a trace of irony. its the kind of story that can ONLY be written by teenagers abt some guys from a cw show bc only teenagers care abt something with the fierceness and sincerity u get when u fall in love for the first time. i love twist and shout bc i rly feel when i read it like im being taken back to how it felt to be 14 and care abt stuff so intensely u couldnt eat or sleep. its a story that has stayed with me a decade after i read it for the first time and itll stay with me for many more years. twist and shout is GOOD die mad abt it

and look if ur out here in 2022 blogging abt supernatural but u think ur too smart and better than twist and shout then like u need to both learn to reconnect with ur teenage self and also grow up. ur embarrassing

also just as a final note twist and shout had the most kudos on ao3 of ANY destiel fic. and t&s has only been on ao3 since 2014 and i KNOW it was uploaded elsewhere before bc i specifically have a video saved to my phone that i sent to my friends in 2012 of me sobbing after finishing reading it on fanfiction.net. the second fic down has 17,000 less kudos. twist and shout girls stay winning

[waywardwriting]

I got wings for Halloween year and theyre really annoying cause they hit into everything and the other day I got them stuck in a doorway 😂😂 This got me thinking, could you write a Castiel x Reader one shot where tfw is having a small costume/Halloween bunker party and reader is a 'sexy angel'. I think itd be funny if she made the comment to Case 'I dont know how you live with wings. Mine are small and they still knock things over and get stuck in doorways.'

Wacky Wings || Castiel x Reader

Hello!!! Happy 🎃 I’m finally back with this piece for Halloween, I hope you all enjoy so so much and have a safe and wonderful Halloween today! Thanks so much for the request and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it ❤️

It was the 31st of October , Halloween! And The Winchesters were having a small Halloween party in the bunker to celebrate , it usually wasn’t their thing because they hunt monsters all year long, but Y/N really wanted to celebrate it this year and Castiel backed her up on it, though he didn’t know why. Cas didn’t really know what him and Y/N were .. he knew he had feelings for her and she felt the same way , he could sense her energy but alas he was still too afraid to tell her, afraid it would ruin what they had together , the day was spent into the evening decorating the bunker with all spooky decorations such as spider webs , carving pumpkins with anti ghost symbols etc , Dean even carved the Chevrolet logo and the word ‘baby’ on a pumpkin in homage to his wonderful impala, his pride and joy. They all had a fight with the pumpkin guts, tossing them around the kitchen at each other and escaping reality for a while, hunting got so tiring after years without a break.

The evening rolled around and the full moon was shining bright in the sky , Y/N had a wonderful idea brewing in her head like a witches broth, she was going to confess her love for Castiel tonight, it was perfect , the day had already been so wonderful , so the stunt she pulled was dressing as a sexy angel, silken white dress, wings the whole lot, oh and of course .. she had found herself a beige cropped denim jacket to match , like Castiel’s trench coat, she finished applying the final touches of her makeup and heard Sams Halloween Playlist blaring on the speakers, she was fashionably late , it was worth every second though.

Y/N walked out her bedroom door and down the hall her wings managing to bump into loads of stuff along the way “for fucks sake..” she grumbled frustratedly and walked into the living room of the bunker which the Winchesters had moved the couches to the corner. So they had a dance floor, people were dancing, laughing, chatting, there was everything you could imagine , a station for bobbing apples, punch, snacks , even a piñata swinging around , the lighting in the room was beautiful thanks to Y/N’s crafty idea of hanging up LED lights which were flashing from red to orange to purple and green in tune with the songs , right now what was playing was Dragula by Rob Zombie .

Sam and Dean nudged Castiel who was patiently waiting for Y/N to arrive , he wasn’t much for parties but supported Y/N’s idea of one , he was so curious as to why she wanted to celebrate this year , and as he looked up his mouth opened wide , his bright blue eyes glistening with awe … she was dressed as …him! But a sexy version which he wasn’t complaining about at all , she even had wings that looked like his !! He hurriedly walked over to her and smiled down at her “Y/N… you look absolutely beautiful … wow..” his voice dripping with astonishment he was just so happy and full of joy and would never forget this moment for as long as he would live. Y/N blushed and giggled wrapping her arms around Cas “why thank you you don’t look too bad yourself … how do you handle having wings 24/7 I swear to god I have these things on ten minutes and have broken 2 vases and a lamp.. and mine are small!” she grinned and he let out a laugh “I’ll have to teach you how to move with them.. you get used to it after a while ..” he explained and tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear , she leaned into his touch “can we go outside ..? There’s something I want to tell you…” Y/N asked and Cas nodded simply teleporting them onto the roof of the bunker where they had the most beautiful view of the night sky , they sat down and Y/N scooted close to Castiel , he wrapped an arm around her and leaned his head on hers “is.. is everything okay Y/N?” He whispered nervously , his heart pounding in his chest “Cas… I love you.. I love you so much and not just as a friend .. I have for the longest time and I just can’t keep my feelings inside anymore .. you make my days so much brighter, you light up my life ever since you brought Dean back from hell…” Y/N admitted terrified , was he going to reject her…? Laugh at her..? She was only human after all and … oh? He kissed her, pulling her to sit on his lap and they shared a passionate kiss of love “I love you too Y/N… I’ve been trying to work up the courage to tell you.. but I’ve been afraid .. I just kept thinking the worst about it all…” Castiel rested his forehead on hers and she ran her fingers through his fluffy black locks of hair “be mine … please..?” Cas whispered quiet as a ghost and Y/N kissed him once more “forever and always Cas… I’m yours …” and there they sat under the full moon and the starry night sky, making precious memories that neither of them would ever forget.. Halloween would have to be celebrated every year from now on in the Winchester household .

[shatteredatthealtarofwinchester]

Umm, wait. It's more a 15x20 rant than an analysis. I'll call it... a ranalysis. 😏

I just saw J*reds last online panel again, where he called the finale "magical full circle storytelling". 15x20 is his "favourite episode ever" because he "is a fan of good storytelling". Uh-huh... Okay. So the following just was built on pure rage. This makes it more of a rant than an analysis. As usual. You guys know me.

Well. There are various possibilities here, Jared. Possibility A is, you are lying, what I do not believe. To lie that obvious you have to be a talented actor, which you are not. Possibility B is, you really think that way. You believe, the finale was "magical full circle storytelling" and you actually loved it, it was indeed your favourite episode. This again brings me to the only conclusion: You have no fucking idea about good storytelling, not even decent storytelling.

Lets look at every single ending, shall we?

Dean. We all know you think Deans death was a "success story." You think that Dean "ultimately gave his life for his number one on planet." I am sitting here, laughing in pain. First of all, let me say that Dean didn't died for Sam, Jared. He didn't took a bullet for Sam or sacrificed himself or whatsoever. He died in the most ridiculous accident I've ever seen. But lets go back to the very start.

Dean’s childhood was highly abusive. Dean was 4 years old when he saw his mother burning alive and learned that monsters are real. In that age he developed PTSD and stopped talking. Dean had a childhood with a father that was an alcoholic and physically and mentally abusive, who had believed that Dean had a “killer instinct". When Dean was about 6 years old, John forced him into a nurturing role for Sam. In the same age Dean was forced into the soldiers role as well when John taught him how to shoot and hunt. Dean had to obey orders without questioning. If he acted “out of line,” (aka something John didn’t like) John chewed him out or left them alone. Dean was trained to be Daddy’s blunt instrument. Dean gave up his own life to keep Sam safe, because he had no other choice. More than a brother Dean had to be a father and a mother to Sam. He suppressed everything, every psychological pain, every emotion, he just lived to protect Sam and to obey as Johns blunt soldier. Short: Dean gave up HIMSELF for Sam and John. Not because Dean wanted to, because he was forced into it! Dean hated himself, he was suicidal. He was convinced he isn’t worthy of anything, especially not being loved. Dean never had a life for his own, never had a choice, never had a chance, never had own original thoughts, never felt safe or loved. He was used to being left. He felt like he was nothing. Worthless. He was dead inside. Broken. You get what I mean, Jared? Since you own a mental health campaign, you should. And guess what Dean did? He kept fighting. Despite everything, he kept fighting. And his mindset slowly changed. He understood that his father was an abusive bastard, he unterstood that he was forced into a life he never wanted. He understood that he is more than that, that he is not like John. He changed. He opened up. He even wanted to retire. And now it gets interesting, because something happened that REALLY is the start of magical full circle storytelling. Something in Deans mind clicked while Cas' confession. His confession was fundamental to Dean to finally accept his own goodness and the value of his life and love, of his identity. It was the moment of breaking free of the structure that had controlled and corrupted him his entire life. It was the only way out of his abusive and traumatizing cage to experience something for his own the very first time. For the first time in his life he had a chance. A choice. The start of his very own life. Free will, baby! Well, no. Because exactly in that moment he stumbled into a nail and died. Do you even realize how dumb this is? Do you even realize what you did? Wait, it gets worse. Yeah, that's possible, even if you dont believe it. In heaven he goes right back to the life he has spent his whole journey learning to free himself from: Left only with the persons he had been forced, time and time again, to sacrifice his identity, goals, and soul for. None of the family, support, or love, nothing he has built or chosen for himself remains. This is not magical full circle storytelling, Jared. This is abysmal pointless butchering. This has NOTHING, not a single percent of magical or good storytelling! YOU call that magical? YOU call that a success? Seriously, what shit are you on? If it would've been full circle storytelling, there is not one single fucking possibility that Dean would've died in the end. I don't know whats going on in your twisted brain, but Deans death never was and never will be a success. To make it magical full circle storytelling, he MUST have been the one who survives and overcomes his trauma (and raise a certain someone from perdition.)

Sam. He's actually the one who kinda got the best ending, huh? I mean, it was fucking horrific, but it was the best if you compare it to the others. When Sam was young, he wanted a normal life far away from hunting, while the truth is, Sam always was more like John than Dean ever will be. Over time his mindset clearly changed. He even said: "When Dean came to get me at school, I told myself, one last job, you know, (...) it was always one more job and then I was gonna go back to law and to my life. I guess, I really understand now that THIS is my life. And I love it." Sam couldn't imagine a normal life anymore. He had the chances for that and he declined. He loved hunting. He loved working and making progress with the BMOL, he very much enjoyed being a MOL and even took the lead often. I can clearly picture Sam as the lead of a rebuilt version of the MOL, that would've made sense. What did Sam get? Right, the ending he didn't wanted anymore, but since we yeet every single development of every single character out of the window, Sam has to be Season 1 Sam again, BUT with a fancy party wig! And there he is! And what a happy life he lives, exactly what he wanted, woohoo! So much joy, so much fun! Oh look, there is BlurryWife™, who Jared made sure is not Eileen, because “Dean wouldn’t want Sam to be with Eileen”. But wait, didn't Dean wanted Sam to be with Eileen? Didn't Dean literally said: "If it was to work, Eileen, you know... She gets it, she gets us, she gets the life. You could do worse. And she could certainly do better, like SO much better. I'm happy for you, Sammy." Yeah, NO. This was just a writing AND acting AND producing mistake and had no matter at all. *cough* So... As you can see, magical storytelling strikes again. I can feel the magic, I can feel the full circle, it's... Amazing...

Castiel. Castiels story was magical, it was mindblowing. I've never in my entire life seen such a meaningful and deep storyline and I mean this. It's fucking massive. There is this blunt angel soldier, one of the post powerful forces, who was built to blindly obey, who lived for aeons of years, who wasn't supposed to feel anything, but he fell for a broken, suicidal, abused human who never felt loved or worthy the very moment he touched him. He fell so hard he rebelled against his own race, against his own family, against everything he had without any safety. He was the ONLY one in Chuck-knows-how-many universes who GREW outside of Chucks CONTROL! His love was so fucking massive, it couldn't be controlled by the God who built every-fucking-thing. Chuck built millions(?) of parallel universes, heaven, hell, life, death, purgatory, the empty, he created every single being, the light, darkness, every single angel, demon, leviathan, monster, animal, plant, sea, blade of grass, every centimeter of mountains, the four seasons, emotions, what the fuck ever. Everything you can ever think of, Chuck created it. And he controlled it. In every single one of his fucking millions of universes. But not Castiel.This is actually not possible. You can't outrun god. You can't outrun the one who creates, writes and controlles everything. But Cas did. Out of love. And not only that, you also imply that what happened between Dean and Cas was the only thing  that was real. Everything else was corrupted, controlled, manipulated, written by Chuck. But what happened between Dean and Cas, he couldn't affect.

Seeing Cas standing there, crying, confessing his love to Dean actually even makes me think that Dean made Cas human. Dean completed Cas. Cas didn't simply said "I love you", he actually said "In all existing universes, in all millions, all aeons of years, you are my only happiness." And Cas completed Dean. He freed Dean. While Dean was used to being left, was used to feeling worthless and unlovable, Cas saw Dean exactly the way he is and chose to stay. With every obstacle, every difficulty he loved him even more and yes, freed him from the abusive structure that had controlled and corrupted him his entire life. Something that no one else could, not his parents, not Amara, not God, not even Sam. Beautiful, isn't it? Unique. Mindblowing. Pure. You enjoyed it? Let's fuck this up in 3...2...1...

Castiels story ended exactly the same way it started. A blunt angel who doesn't care about people and feelings, blindly carrying out instructions from a new God, obeying heaven. No progress. They threw away 12 years of character development and managed to give him the same stupid and senseless ending like they did with Dean. Dean died and Cas... Wasn't there?! WHAT!? There is no single fucking way Cas wouldn't save Dean or wouldn't be there when Dean enters heaven! There. Is. No. Fucking. Way! The way they represented Cas in the end doesn't only imply that Dean isn't important to Cas anymore, he even ended up exactly the same way as if Season 4-15 wouldn't have happened. The ending is exactly the same! He's with God in heaven, supporting him with instructions, not caring about anything else.

Okay, I got it. Summarizing you can say: Jareds "magical full circle storytelling" is to yeet 95% of the past 15 years. No other characters matter, the story itself doesn't matter, every single characters development doesn't matter, it even doesn't matter what the brothers really want, they don't get it anyway.

Okay. But that's not all. As if this wasn't bad enough, they didn't just butchered ... EVERYTHING, they also salted and burnt every single Mantra they ever stood for. I'll make these short, I promise!

Team Free Will. *snort* Dean couldn't escape his fate, he always believed he'll die on a hunt as Daddys blunt instrument and he did. He kept fighting to die exactly the way he felt he was "supposed to". Message? No matter how hard you keep fighting, no matter how long you'll keep it up, you can't escape your fate. Sam couldn't change his fate, he ended how he started. Cas couldn't change his fate, he ended how he started, same for Jack, he ended how he was supposed to. YEET THE FREE WILL, NONE OF THEM CAN CHANGE ANYTHING!

Family don't end with  blood. The biggest lie that has ever been told. Do I even have to explain that? No need, right? Don't make me wanna throw up again, please. We all know that 15x20 blasted "Family don't end with blood" in millions of pieces.

Always keep fighting. THE AUDACITY to praise that while Dean is dying! After everything Dean has dealt with, It makes me wanna scream. Dean kept fighting, he always kept fighting, no matter how hard it was, no matter what forced him to his knees, he stood up again, and if he wasn't able to stand up, he crawled. He kept fighting no matter what, despite everything. His mindset changed. He wanted to live, he wanted to experience things, feelings and people differently or even for the first time. He changed. He wanted to retire, toes in the sand. He knew he earned it. Thats why he kept fighting. For what? To die the very first moment he had a free will. To die the very first moment he had a choice, had a life to build for himself. Always keep fighting, but the moment you come close to what you want, what you fought for, you die. It's been more than 3 months and I am having tears in my eyes while typing this. As for Dean, no matter how hard you fight, no matter how long you fight, you don't reach what you deserve anyway. Give up. As for Sam, AKF leeds to Emptiness. Grief. Psychological Trauma. Mental illness. Absolutely nothing worth fighting for.

I wanna go cry now, bye.

[centralsaints]

mcl headcanon masterpost - castiel

the fruity emo boy himself

he’s short and I will die on that hill, Castiel is like 5’3

owns two pairs of docs, one that was given to him by his mom that was her old pair (red ones, already broken in) and one pair of platforms he bought for himself at the end of high school (bitched about his feet hurting the whole time he was breaking them in) (Lysander also owns a couple of pair of docs and refused to hear his bitching)

oh yeah he's trans. he just is. one of them transmascs. he came out at 14 and his parents being pretty laidback were very accepting of him and he got to start hrt around 16. it wasn’t really a surprise, all he wore before even coming out were mcr hoodies and always wanted his hair short. it was after he came out he started being more comfortable with letting his hair grow

he’s known iris and nathaniel since they were kids. iris used to braid his hair when they were kids; they grew distant around 12-13, but she was still one of the first people he came out to. when he grows his hair out again she asks if she can give him some little braids again

contrary to lysander, castiel did not give up when his first stick and poke turned out wonky and just kept adding more and more tattoos.

he’s the baby of three kids; he has a brother and a sister, gabriel and clara. he was a surprise baby too, his parents thought they’d stop after two kids but then castiel happened

he committed a war crime in the fact that when he first started to dye his hair, he used splat hair dye. don’t use splat hair dye it will never go away. the bath was stained red for weeks and his dad made him scrub it so many times. his mom just found it funny because she knows the struggle

(kind of a side note, i think his mom is a former punk, she doesn’t dress the part really nowadays because of her job, but she still has the spirit. she made castiel discover a lot of her favourite punk music from her youth)

ref post for his fashion

always has like an inch of roots showing before touching up his hair. i think at some point in university he just stops keeping up with it and grows out his natural hair

contrary to lys, he’d love getting piercings, but not so much tattoos. piercings hurt on the spot, a tattoo can take hours to do and u just suffer the whole time. i think he’d probably get a few on his ears, a septum (classic first facial piercing imo), then maybe a bridge and either angel bites (top lip, kind of gives the effect of little fangs) or snake bites (bottom lip, gives the effect of snake fangs, like the name). would also get his tongue pierced because this man gives head like its his last meal

his biggest flex is that he has a fully healed industrial piercing (that little bar in the cartilage at the top of ur ear.... i know so many people who tried piercing it multiple times and it rejected every time)

he’s mixed latino (from his mom) and chinese (from his dad)

him and iris are the same height after castiel starts testosterone; she’s 5’3 too, and he ends up growing about two inches with hrt. nathaniel, who they have known since they were kids, ends up growing taller than both of them by a lot

it’s not because he’s short that he can’t fight. sometimes the fire sign just has to get out yknow. seriously i think he has some problems processing his emotions and so they all get mixed up in all kinds of different anger. if there is a character that do that thing in teen dramas where they get a baseball bat and go wreck stuff in a junkyard, it’s castiel

he picked up smoking almost accidentally (as we all do............dont smoke kids) and has tried to quit multiple times. i think he successfully did around the end of university

he became vegetarian after moving out and living on his own; meat was just too expensive so he kind of just dropped it and put that money to buy demon fancy dog food <3

he’s protective of nathaniel, after knowing about all his family trouble; they still have trouble getting along but castiel just had this feeling of wanting to know nath is okay because still, they’ve known each other for years

he’s the type to get really sleepy and giggly when he’s drunk and yes he’s embarrassed

he has A Hair Dye Shirt. people who dye their hair a lot, you know the one shirt i’m talking about. it’s probably torn in one place, has a cheesy faded out print, is covered in bleach stains and various colors of hair dye

at one point i think he’d shave the side of his head, while keeping his hair long, maybe at the end of high school

he probably hasn’t seen a hairdresser in YEARS because he cuts and dye his hair himself, sometimes it’s good and shiny, sometimes it’s a patchy uneven mess only cut on one side in the back

yeah he’s a leo but the rest of his chart is like all cancer and pisces, he looks tough but he has so many stupid little emotions

also contrary to lysander, he only learned guitar and bass as a teen. like that’s it. he was mostly self-taught, with the help of youtube. lys helped him with some singing stuff, but it’s really not his favourite thing to do. while lys is really good with writing lyrics and literally gifted with musical talent, he finds it hard to combine music to his lyrics, they never seem to fit together but that’s a good thing because that is castiel’s greatest strength with music

he was probably an overachiever as a child, but as a teen the dysphoria hit and the mental health issues started so his grades tanked for a while before coming back up in his last two years of high school, when he finally got to present as himself

on the subject of mental health; he unfortunately got the Clinical Depression Gene from his dad, so a little bit after starting hrt, he also gets started on anti depressants

he also has mild insomnia, and usually goes on walks at night when he can’t sleep

did he chose his name because he watched one too many episodes of supernatural? maybe. we will never know

[spnsmile]

Ever experienced bait and switch?