#arcane spn collection: long post

[vminvisiblestring]

trigger warnings: conversion therapy , brief mention of the damaging effects of religion on the psyche

"on the head of a pin" (4x16) will forever remain one of my all time favorite supernatural episodes, and dare i say, one of the superior episodes, period. it's because the bulk of cas's arc, his character, and his future are all in this episode.

i'll never get over the way his eyes shift to the ground when he says he feels, almost as if he were ashamed or embarrassed... but at the same there's so much fear in his eyes, he's scared about the way he feels.

we also cant forget this was a few episodes before they dragged him back to heaven to be "reprogrammed" (or as dean said "bible camp").

and, in retrospect, knowing now that cas is gay, him being dragged to heaven by angels (where heaven and angels are present in and representative of most religions) could be a euphemism for queer people who've been forced into conversion therapy camps.

4.16 gave us two of the most important scenes in their relationship:

followed by:

then cas goes to see anna where he says this:

as if it's not right to feel the way he does, as if he's committing a crime, (which he technically is by even considering disobeying) but this is a different feeling, a deeper, more profound feeling than not following orders.

and then:

cas has no idea everything that's going to happen to him and his relationship with dean as a result of feeling, but the journey is going to solidify that feeling and bring it to a bittersweet (more bitter than sweet but anyways) ending.

cas, an angel in a man's body, meets a man and begins to feel (queer people when they begin to question their sexuality)

and, being a symbol of heaven and a soldier of god (a majority of queer people i know, myself included, come from deeply religious households, and with all the religious crap that's been shoved down our throats its so easy and damaging to feel like you're doing something wrong "in the eyes of god") he thought is was wrong but couldn't help it

and ultimately he chose to follow his heart (this feeling he had for dean and us when we choose to accept ourselves for who we are) and chose dean over his "family" (he was even at the hospital when dean woke up because he chose to be there, confirming his newfound free will and choice, which are later taken away but he breaks out of, again, because of this feeling for dean)

character development like this is the reason cas became a queer symbol, and he is so important to so many of us because of that reason and so much more.

he's one of the most complex characters ever put to screen, he deserved better, so much better, and i'll kick and scream that sentiment until my last dying breath.

[vminvisiblestring]

"Something ugly happened here, but we're going to build something beautiful in its place."

Cas and Dean settle on that one old house by that one lake.

"The one where your mother died?"

"No, man, that place is ugly. Besides, there's no lake there. I'm talking about that one house by that one lake". And Cas is confused and Dean doesn't want to say the one where I thought I'd lost you, but it looks like-

"Wait... you don't mean the one where... Dean, you want us to build our home in the same place where I died?"

"Where I thought I'd lost you forever," Dean quipped.

"Dean-"

"Cas-"

"Dean, that place is-"

"-beautiful, Cas. It's quiet and peaceful and beautiful. Well it was, before..."

Cas doesn't want to stir up any emotions so he calmly looks on Dean and waits for him to continue-

"...but, hey! You're here. And you're never leaving me again. And that place is beautiful again because you're alive! It's like, uh, symbolic! And upside: it's probably abandoned anyways, what's the harm in taking a little look?"

So Cas indulges Dean and they drive the over 1600 miles to North Cove to see that one old house by that one lake, the one where Dean thought he'd lost him forever...

It's about 9 in the morning when they see the house rearing its head and you know what? Dean was right. Cas never noticed how beautiful the whole place really was (Kelly and and an unborn Jack were all he had a mind for at the time). The long drive through the winding mountains, the natural surroundings, it was peaceful and quiet and beautiful, just like Dean had said.

Dean didn't have the heart to tell Cas that he'd memorized every inch of his love's (at the time) final resting place. He didn't tell Cas that the night he kneeled beside his lifeless body there was nothing but quiet, and that the quiet only served to amplify his grief, even if he wasn't being audible. Or that, in the very back of his mind, in the deepest darkest corner, he was a little relieved Cas was finally at peace (he never stopped thinking about what Cas told him all those years ago: about contemplating what he would do to himself if he saw the mess he'd caused in heaven) and how Cas didn't have to carry that burden anymore. But he also couldn't help but think the obvious: he's not here anymore, he's not with me. I want to be with him and now here comes something else to separate us again. When will it end?

But Dean breathes out all those negative thoughts and emotions and breathes in the future: his future with Cas, his future in their own little corner of the sky, his own little heaven.

They walk around the exterior of the house, Dean trying to get Cas to imagine: extending this back area and turning it into a sun room so we have a nice place to sit and watch the sun on the lake in the afternoons...

and oh! this is a solid foundation right here, this'll be great to make the kitchen larger because who hates big kitchens?...

And Dean wanders into the house mindlessly, Cas behind him, as he describes the process of adding insulation and sheet rock to make thicker walls for when it gets cold...

and he walks up the stairs while making a comment about how those stairs are so squeaky, what the hell! god, wood stairs are the worst! you know what, the whole damn floor is coming up, be tile or be nothing!...

and I know what you're thinking: a two bedroom house? yeah right! six bedroom minimum!...

and oh! speaking of rooms, we'll need one for Claire, of course, and Kaia's gonna sleep with her because duh, and maybe one for Jack even though Mr. God is probably gonna be busy all the time. But if he thinks he's too busy to see his dads during the holidays, he's got another thing coming!...

and he lists off a room for Jody and Donna, Alex and Patience can share and one for our future maybe baby-

-wait, our what?-

- hey Cas, look out this window! See that opening over there? We can make that a four-bedroom for Sam, Eileen and our nieces and nephews when they come visit so they have their own space too!

and speaking of space! He says as he jogs down the stairs, there's too many walls here, I say tear em' down. Boom! Open. Floor. Plan. You know, get some sun in here, because you can never have too much sun!...

Dean and Cas sit on the floor of the empty living room, Cas listening to Dean as he spends the entire day laying out the groundwork for the house: how they'll extend the porch, the sides of the house, the upstairs, get rid of the crawl space because why do we need a crawl space? we aren't Walter White, we don't need to hide any money, installing a big gate at the entrance of the property just to be pretentious and because they look really cool in the movies, reinforce the roof because it's a rainfall away from Niagara. And he rants about his hatred of small kitchens, says they're going to have three islands: one to chop and wash foods, one with another stovetop, and one so Cas can sit and watch Dean cook, no exceptions.

Dean stops intermittently and sees the confused looks he's getting from Cas about the smaller details, so he simplifies his vision, I'm thinking front door into open floor plan: on the right- living room, dining room, and kitchen from the front door to the back end, one big piece, maybe a breakfast nook, the sun room across from the kitchen and taking up the whole back exterior of the house except for a small part. To the immediate left of the door- a coat and bench rack to remove our shoes when the snow gets to be too much, a bathroom next to it and the laundry room next to that. The upstairs, accesible from the stairs directly in front of the door, should be seen from the downstairs. Our room is going to be immediately at the top of the stairs, and it'll take up the whole south side of the house, so our room will be on top of the sunroom and kit...chen... oh... we'll figure it out. Then, clockwise from the top of the stairs: maybe baby room, bathroom, Jack's room, Alex and Patience's room, Jody and Donna's room, Claire and Kaia's room, bathroom, and another living area in front of that...

"A maybe what room?"

"Anywaaays! Gardens! You love 'em, I want one!"

And Dean began speaking at length about cutting the trees in the front yard to make more room for Cas's garden, describing it in detail, much to Cas's further confusion: where they'd plant new trees, the ideal color and formation of the flowers, the grass. Remember The Great Gatsby? DiCaprio, not Redford. Yeah, Nick's house? The gay one... no, Ca- the poor gay one- yeah him! Exactly like that!

The new trees have to be planted away from the house because tree roots are evil. Those little bitches weave their way into your plumbing and next thing you know you've got tree roots tickling your ass on the toilet... anyways...

And when Dean had laid out his whole plan, and the sun had set, he laced his fingers with an exhausted Cas's and calmly led him out the back door-

"One last thing..."

-down the steps, right to where- exactly where- Cas died, what are we-?

"Cas..."

Dean grabbed Cas's other hand and held them in a soft but firm grasp, and even though Cas couldn't see Dean's soul anymore, he could feel the calming aura of him: nothing fearful, nothing anxious, just stillness, and he knew not to panic.

"Thanks for letting me drag you all the way across the country to hear me talk about a house all day, you didn't have to do that."

"Didn't I," Cas said through a smile.

"Shut up." Dean's tone was playful as he continued, "I know you doubted this place because of, you know-"

"-my stabbing..."

Dean gave Cas that look-

"I'm sorry... continue..."

Dean began to kneel and tugged at Cas's hands for him to do the same; and they knelt right where Cas had previously laid. Dean guided Cas's hands and together they dug a small whole in the ground, cas wondering the entire time what the hell is going on.

"Give me your ring."

Now Cas gave Dean that look-

"Trust me."

And Cas did trust Dean, so he took his silver wedding band off and handed it to Dean, who took his ring off too and tied them together with a red string before gently placing them in the hole, then he took Cas's hands in his own again and they covered the hole back up, smoothing it over.

"Cas, I want us to build our home here. I meant what I said earlier, about how I thought this place was ugly when I saw you die here, and how it became beautiful when you came back to me. You don't know this, but I came back here when the Empty took you. And I felt you. You were everywhere: in the trees and the foundations of the house and the wind. But I especially felt you right here, in the place you were taken from me for the hundredth time-"

Dean cut himself off and looked at his feet, clearing his throat. Cas could tell he was trying to find the right words, the way his eyes darted slightly back and forth. Dean sighed and looked up, a warm, quiet, assuring smile on his face...

"Our rings in this dirt is my promise to you: that this place belongs to us, that we belong to each other, and that no matter what, what we have is beautiful and real and unending and death-defying and true. I love you. I want to watch the sun rise on your face and watch your face as you watch the sun set over the mountains from our sun room in the afternoons. I want you to watch me cook for you. I want to hold your hand and walk all the way to our gate and back just because. But most of all..."

Cas looked worried over Dean's face for a hint at what he'd say next...

"... I wanna get the hell up from this ground with you, my knees are killing me!"

And Cas laughed as he helped Dean to his feet, and even though he was remorseful he couldn't heal him with a touch anymore, the two of them found that the simple act of just holding each other and feeling each other's presence, was healing enough (that and the icy-hot Cas kept in the impala despite Dean's protests that it would "smell up the car").

And as they made their long journey back to the bunker, and Cas looked over Dean's hand-drawn blueprint, he began to picture everything Dean talked about: the garden, the sunroom, the family, the life. And he inhaled that minty icy-hot smell and looked over at Dean and in his mind re-affirmed what he'd always thought and what he told Dean: wherever Dean would go...

Hey kids humor me when Dean and Cas finally buy/build a house together what’s it like? Describe it to me, this is an experiment thanks

[vminvisiblestring]

FUCKING ROUND TWO I GUESS HELLERS EVERYONE WAKE UP

*bangs pots* *bangs pans* *blows bugle* *screams* *screeches* *wails*

here's the thing about the prayer scene script:

THERES PIECES MISSING

let's look at script bits 1 and 2:

i mean how does this sound:

"... you changed me, dean."

dean is emotional. cas's words have hit him deeply -- striking right at the core of his self-doubt. But--

"Cas. What does this have to do with--

(then, emotional)

Why does this sound like a goodbye?"

this scene makes no sense. why is dean emotional twice?? if the scene is a progression from the previous page dean should already be plenty emotional. and "what does" what have to do with WHAT, dean?? what does cas pulling dean out of hell have to do with the empty?? what does cas's happiness have to do with dean?? WHAT??? dialogue is missing to complete the piece.

also it's worth noting "what does this have to do with--" was cut (or jensen chose to leave it out)

BUT the most important part of those pictures is (then, emotional)

DEAN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE EMOTIONAL so why is it nothing like the final product we saw? i'm convinced something was cut, that on top of jensen actually confirming a lot of his reactions were cut

now the 3rd and 4th script bits:

we've seen the third one before (if you need your memory refreshed because somehow ten minutes and ten years have passed) the third picture was leaked a few days after destiel went canon and it broke out hearts because of the line:

"dean cant reciprocate"

but then jensen pieced us back together a few days after basically saying he didn't think dean even knew angels could feel love like humans and in no way invalidated cas's and our feelings (we love a king, thank you bubby)

anyways:

"I love you"

On Dean, shocked -- receiving this declaration from his best friend. On Castiel, filled with joy. Dean cant reciprocate, but Cas doesn't need him to. Saving Dean, sacrificing himself, speaking his truth-- Cas is at peace.

The moment is cut short. As--

and then the rest. you know what everything in italics is? stage directions/actions. i've written scripts, i've read scripts, i've edited scripts, and even though every writing style is different, the "template" is the same, so whatever way you put it, this is all action

what does this mean? there was a moment between "cas is at peace" and "the moment was cut short" and it was cut

the fourth picture is from halfway down the script (notice the full watermark should read "supernatural film script") so if the word film ends where the action bit starts, it means there was more (dialogue/action) above it

tl;dr: theres parts of the script still missing, its obvious when you examine the script.

and we know this is from the real script because this is a script "negative" of the fourth picture

[vminvisiblestring]

GODDAMN IT

also this is a public service announcement to say:

PLEASE DONT PAY ATTENTION TO ADAM WILLIAMS HE IS BIPHOBIC AND BELIEVES DEAN IS CASSEXUAL IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2020

the only thing he did right was confirm that the script was real because it was stolen:

THIS IS ALL THIS MAN WAS GOOD FOR DO NOT INTERACT WITH HIM DO NOT GIVE HIM ATTENTION

AND REMEMBER MY FELLOW BISEXUALS YOU ARE VALID YOU MATTER AND DEAN IS BISEXUAL AS FUCK

here's the thing about the prayer scene script:

THERES PIECES MISSING

let's look at script bits 1 and 2:

i mean how does this sound:

"... you changed me, dean."

dean is emotional. cas's words have hit him deeply -- striking right at the core of his self-doubt. But--

"Cas. What does this have to do with--

(then, emotional)

Why does this sound like a goodbye?"

this scene makes no sense. why is dean emotional twice?? if the scene is a progression from the previous page dean should already be plenty emotional. and "what does" what have to do with WHAT, dean?? what does cas pulling dean out of hell have to do with the empty?? what does cas's happiness have to do with dean?? WHAT??? dialogue is missing to complete the piece.

also it's worth noting "what does this have to do with--" was cut (or jensen chose to leave it out)

BUT the most important part of those pictures is (then, emotional)

DEAN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE EMOTIONAL so why is it nothing like the final product we saw? i'm convinced something was cut, that on top of jensen actually confirming a lot of his reactions were cut

now the 3rd and 4th script bits:

we've seen the third one before (if you need your memory refreshed because somehow ten minutes and ten years have passed) the third picture was leaked a few days after destiel went canon and it broke out hearts because of the line:

"dean cant reciprocate"

but then jensen pieced us back together a few days after basically saying he didn't think dean even knew angels could feel love like humans and in no way invalidated cas's and our feelings (we love a king, thank you bubby)

anyways:

"I love you"

On Dean, shocked -- receiving this declaration from his best friend. On Castiel, filled with joy. Dean cant reciprocate, but Cas doesn't need him to. Saving Dean, sacrificing himself, speaking his truth-- Cas is at peace.

The moment is cut short. As--

and then the rest. you know what everything in italics is? stage directions/actions. i've written scripts, i've read scripts, i've edited scripts, and even though every writing style is different, the "template" is the same, so whatever way you put it, this is all action

what does this mean? there was a moment between "cas is at peace" and "the moment was cut short" and it was cut

the fourth picture is from halfway down the script (notice the full watermark should read "supernatural film script") so if the word film ends where the action bit starts, it means there was more (dialogue/action) above it

tl;dr: theres parts of the script still missing, its obvious when you examine the script.

and we know this is from the real script because this is a script "negative" of the fourth picture

[vminvisiblestring]

WHAT THE FUCK IM

here's the thing about the prayer scene script:

THERES PIECES MISSING

let's look at script bits 1 and 2:

i mean how does this sound:

"... you changed me, dean."

dean is emotional. cas's words have hit him deeply -- striking right at the core of his self-doubt. But--

"Cas. What does this have to do with--

(then, emotional)

Why does this sound like a goodbye?"

this scene makes no sense. why is dean emotional twice?? if the scene is a progression from the previous page dean should already be plenty emotional. and "what does" what have to do with WHAT, dean?? what does cas pulling dean out of hell have to do with the empty?? what does cas's happiness have to do with dean?? WHAT??? dialogue is missing to complete the piece.

also it's worth noting "what does this have to do with--" was cut (or jensen chose to leave it out)

BUT the most important part of those pictures is (then, emotional)

DEAN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE EMOTIONAL so why is it nothing like the final product we saw? i'm convinced something was cut, that on top of jensen actually confirming a lot of his reactions were cut

now the 3rd and 4th script bits:

we've seen the third one before (if you need your memory refreshed because somehow ten minutes and ten years have passed) the third picture was leaked a few days after destiel went canon and it broke out hearts because of the line:

"dean cant reciprocate"

but then jensen pieced us back together a few days after basically saying he didn't think dean even knew angels could feel love like humans and in no way invalidated cas's and our feelings (we love a king, thank you bubby)

anyways:

"I love you"

On Dean, shocked -- receiving this declaration from his best friend. On Castiel, filled with joy. Dean cant reciprocate, but Cas doesn't need him to. Saving Dean, sacrificing himself, speaking his truth-- Cas is at peace.

The moment is cut short. As--

and then the rest. you know what everything in italics is? stage directions/actions. i've written scripts, i've read scripts, i've edited scripts, and even though every writing style is different, the "template" is the same, so whatever way you put it, this is all action

what does this mean? there was a moment between "cas is at peace" and "the moment was cut short" and it was cut

the fourth picture is from halfway down the script (notice the full watermark should read "supernatural film script") so if the word film ends where the action bit starts, it means there was more (dialogue/action) above it

tl;dr: theres parts of the script still missing, its obvious when you examine the script.

and we know this is from the real script because this is a script "negative" of the fourth picture

[vminvisiblestring]

QUE ESTA PASANDO WHAT THE FUCK

also they silenced dean

cas, undisturbed, keeps going ?

AFTER dean tries to say something yeah

here's the thing about the prayer scene script:

THERES PIECES MISSING

let's look at script bits 1 and 2:

i mean how does this sound:

"... you changed me, dean."

dean is emotional. cas's words have hit him deeply -- striking right at the core of his self-doubt. But--

"Cas. What does this have to do with--

(then, emotional)

Why does this sound like a goodbye?"

this scene makes no sense. why is dean emotional twice?? if the scene is a progression from the previous page dean should already be plenty emotional. and "what does" what have to do with WHAT, dean?? what does cas pulling dean out of hell have to do with the empty?? what does cas's happiness have to do with dean?? WHAT??? dialogue is missing to complete the piece.

also it's worth noting "what does this have to do with--" was cut (or jensen chose to leave it out)

BUT the most important part of those pictures is (then, emotional)

DEAN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE EMOTIONAL so why is it nothing like the final product we saw? i'm convinced something was cut, that on top of jensen actually confirming a lot of his reactions were cut

now the 3rd and 4th script bits:

we've seen the third one before (if you need your memory refreshed because somehow ten minutes and ten years have passed) the third picture was leaked a few days after destiel went canon and it broke out hearts because of the line:

"dean cant reciprocate"

but then jensen pieced us back together a few days after basically saying he didn't think dean even knew angels could feel love like humans and in no way invalidated cas's and our feelings (we love a king, thank you bubby)

anyways:

"I love you"

On Dean, shocked -- receiving this declaration from his best friend. On Castiel, filled with joy. Dean cant reciprocate, but Cas doesn't need him to. Saving Dean, sacrificing himself, speaking his truth-- Cas is at peace.

The moment is cut short. As--

and then the rest. you know what everything in italics is? stage directions/actions. i've written scripts, i've read scripts, i've edited scripts, and even though every writing style is different, the "template" is the same, so whatever way you put it, this is all action

what does this mean? there was a moment between "cas is at peace" and "the moment was cut short" and it was cut

the fourth picture is from halfway down the script (notice the full watermark should read "supernatural film script") so if the word film ends where the action bit starts, it means there was more (dialogue/action) above it

tl;dr: theres parts of the script still missing, its obvious when you examine the script.

and we know this is from the real script because this is a script "negative" of the fourth picture