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linkspooky · 3 months

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JASON TODD VS. DABI: WHY NOT ME?

"You haven't been here long but you've seen him, right? The batman. The batman. He lives in darkness, to find the helpless and bring them into the light. So I have to wonder...why couldn't he do it for me?" The Boy Wonder: Issue #2

This is the story of the boy who didn't get saved. The story of a boy who really ought to have been saved. Of course, every victim deserves to be saved, but this boy was the son of a superhero. Can a hero who saves everyone, but fails to save his own son really be called a hero? As for the son, how does it feel to watch his father save complete strangers but let him fall to the wayside?

Jason Todd and Dabi are two characters with similar backstories and motives (so similar it's possible Dabi is outright based on Jason Todd) which are worthy of comparison. These are two tragic arcs which explore the conflict between a hero's responsibility to act as a father, and their responsibility to save people. As I said they are tragic because in both cases the hero fails, as a father, and a hero. However, I'm comparing the two because Jason Todd's story is a well written tragedy, and Toya's story is not.

If you were to write a story of my life, it would surely be a tragedy.

Aristotle's Poetics is the first attempt to define what Tragedy is, not as a story where sad things happen but a specific story structure. He outlines not only what makes tragedy, tragedy, but also what makes a good tragedy.

The Plot, then, is the first principle, and, as it were, the soul of a tragedy: Character holds the second place. A similar fact is seen in painting. The most beautiful colours, laid on confusedly, will not give as much pleasure as the chalk outline of a portrait. Thus Tragedy is the imitation of an action, and of the agents mainly with a view to the action.

I use this quote because the painting metaphor is a great way of explaining what I'm getting at, you can have a painting with the most wonderful colors, you can have a story with really good ideas like the Todoroki family plotline but if you don't use those colors correctly all you're going to end up with is a bad painting.

In poetics Aristotle clearly defines a tight well-structured plot as the first priority for effective tragedy, character as second.

Again, a beautiful object, whether it be a living organism or any whole composed of parts, must not only have an orderly arrangement of parts, but must also be of a certain magnitude; for beauty depends on magnitude and order. Hence a very small animal organism cannot be beautiful; for the view of it is confused, the object being seen in an almost imperceptible moment of time. Nor, again, can one of vast size be beautiful; for as the eye cannot take it all in at once, the unity and sense of the whole is lost for the spectator; as for instance if there were one a thousand miles long

To make sure you understand, it's vital in tragedy for all the pieces to fit together. Tragedy is a specific story format. Good tragedy uses the parts of a story well, but bad tragedy is sloppy and poorly put together. In tragedy, the whole has to be greater than the sum of its parts. The Todoroki Family are all good characters out of context, but the story could have enhanced their characters but detracted from them due to how poorly it is told. The fact that a lot of MHA fans are in love with the Todoroki family out of the context of the story, but also have constant complaints for how Horikoshi handles their plotlines is, in my opinion, very telling.

What Aristotle goes on to posit is the best tragedies do not come about by accident, but rather by the direct actions of the characters.

But again, Tragedy is an imitation not only of a complete action, but of events inspiring fear or pity. Such an effect is best produced when the events come on us by surprise; and the effect is heightened when, at the same time, they follow as cause and effect. The tragic wonder will thee be greater than if they happened of themselves or by accident; for even coincidences are most striking when they have an air of design.

Therefore Tragedies require consequentialism, like Newton's Third Law, every action will have an equal and opposite reaction. To simplify a good tragedy arises from the consequences of the character's actions (or inaction). The most basic form is that the hero of the story will have a tragic flaw that they fail to improve upon in time and then leads to their destruction. In essence, tragedy is where the hero fails. Not only does the hero fail, but the hero loses, and that irreversible loss is what defines tragedy. Medea slays her own children, Oedipus rips his own eyes off and deserts his kingdom, Creon Antigone is buried alive and Creon's son, her fiancee, commits suicide.

These events share two things in common, they are irreversible (hence why they feel like good endings), and two they evoke catharsis. Aristotle defines the goal of tragedy to evoke terror and pity. We feel alongside these heroes, Medea was abandoned by the husband Jason who she left her home and slaughtered her own brother for, Oedipus did all of his crimes unwittingly and is a victim of fate, Antigone was doing the right thing by burying her brother so his soul could pass on to the afterlife.

There's all different sorts of tragedies, Hamliet explores more here. I'd say UTRH and Hellish Todoroki Family are tragedies centered around grief.

Tragedy works on extreme emotions, and extreme hard-hitting consequences to the hero's failures. The worst thing a tragedy can be is boring.

The Tragic Hero

Now that I'm done lecturing you let's actually talk about both My Hero Academia and Batman like I promised. Both of these stories don't actually feature the central victim as their protagonist, and that is a feature not a flaw.

Rather, the story we are being told is that of a tragic hero, failing to save a tragic victim because of their own personal flaws.

These flaws are called (hamartia) or "error in judgement". A hero, being called a hero of a story is often unaware of his flaws which is central to what makes them unable to fix those flaws in time. That flaw can later lead to a moral failing, such as Othello's jealousy, initially jealousy is an understandable emotion, but then it leads to him trusting Iago over his own wife and killing his wife in a rage.

Most importantly, the hero’s suffering and its far-reaching reverberations are far out of proportion to his flaw.

Let's begin with talking of the heroes and their flaws, Batman and Endeavor. My main reason for comparing these two is in these specific stories they have the same flaw, inability to move past their personal guilt towards their son, and the same conflict the duty of a father versus the duty of a hero.

However, Batman functions as a tragic hero, and Enji does not. The summary of their conflict is right here in these two panels.

A parent is required to place their children above everything else, because they are the ones responsible for bringing that child into the world. Bruce Wayne made the decision to adopt Jason. Enji made the decision to have children, however with Enji you have the added insidious motivation of he only wanted to make designer babies and just didn't care for the ones who didn't turn out right.

Bruce attempts to do both, to act as a father for Jason and also a crime fighter as batman but he can't do both. This comes to a head in Death of the Family when Jason is having serious trouble because of his lack of a strong parental figure, and Bruce knowing that Jason is in trouble chooses still to go off and fight crime instead of staying with him. The choice to place crimefighting over the child they chose to take responsibility for has the unintended consequence of getting that child killed.

Whereas Enji makes the same choice over and over again, ignoring Toya's clear troubles at the fact his father no longer spends time with him and choosing to run away to the world of heroes because he doesn't want to face the fact that his actions are severely hurting his son. Bruce's motivations are more sympathetic admittedly he wasn't actively practicing eugenics, but the choice is the same and the consequences are the same.

Both Bruce and Enji are forced to bear witness to the deaths of their children when they are not there, specifically because they made a choice to be a hero instead of staying by their child's side. A situation directly caused by their choice to be a hero over a father, and a situation that would have been avoided if they had stayed with their child in their time of need. Jason runs off when Batman tells him to stay and gets kidnapped by the Joker, if Enji had been on Sekoto peak that day Toya would never have accidentally lost control of his fire.

This is just the backstory however, the main event that kickstart this plot is the unexpected return from the dead of both Jason and Dabi. Each story follows the same plot beats. A new villain appears to challenge Endeavor / Batman. The villain reveals themselves as their dead son. Both Endeavor / Batman are given a chance to try reaching out to their sons, but they choose not to.

Then even though they are given a second chance with a miracle of a dead son coming back to them, they choose the exact same thing they chose before, being a hero and because of that the tragedy repeats itself. For both of them they are unable to save their son again, and the son goes through a second death. History repeats itself, the lesson isn't learned.

Their fatal flaw is their guilt. This is a story about grief and mourning after all, a son who is died, buried, but never grieved properly, never mourned, an open wound on the father suddenly coming back. The inability of each to process their grief blinds them from seeing the fact the son has come back, and they have a second chance.

Toya has internalized he is a failure, because Enji literally called him that. Jason believes that Batman thinks he is a failure. In both cases the father is the one who failed, Bruce at least acknowledges this but cannot communicate it in any way shape or form.

This guilt and responsibility both Enji and Bruce feel causes them to self-sabotage. They no longer have the confidence they are in the right (they no longer feel like heroes because they have failed to be heroes to their own son).

You can also add the layer of complication that since both men chose to be heroes in the past, they do not know how to handle the situation as a father now that they're being challenged to step up as one. Unfortunately, they are not the fathers that stepped up.

The reason their grief becomes a flaw is because they put their grief over their victims. . Each man is aware too much of their own failure, and while they should feel guilty they make the classic mistake of placing their own guilt over the feelings of the victim. The guilt they feel for causing the death and the genuine grief of losing a son is given priority over Jason and Dabi who you know... actually died.

An overwhelming grief and guilt is understandable because grief is a messy and human emotion, losing a child is an unimaginable tragedy that should never be inflicted on anyone.

Yet at the same time both Dabi and Jason are grieving to. This paradox that Batman only thinks of his own grief at losing a son and never stops to think about how Jason must feel leads to one of the best lines in Under the Red Hood.

"The father had lost a son, and now the son had lost a father."

Batman's guilt is so strong over being the cause of Jason's suffering, that the suffering of the victim himself is ignored. To be fair to My Hero Academia, the Todorokis say a similar line to Enji.

However, this is where I begin to get into the difference between ideas and execution. Tragedies are stories of actions and logical consequences, every action has an equal and opposite reaction in Under the Red Hood. Batman is punished for the choices he makes, the choices he doesn't make, and the choices he fails to make in time.

The Todoroki plotline features almost none of its character making any choices of substance, and because of that the plotline says the right things over and over again, but it all comes off as tell don't show.

I'm going to quote @codenamesazanka's post right here a couple of times because they describe the complete failure of the Todoroki plotline to show us a reason why we should be feeling things for the characters artfully.

We've heard Enji say this before - I'm sorry, I intend to atone. It's indeed the right thing to say, it's exactly what he should be saying and acting. Natsuo is declaring no contact - That's fine, I'm sorry, I accept this as part of my atonement and will continue. Touya calls him a coward - That's fine, I'm sorry, I accept this as part of my atonement and will continue. The public hates him - That's fine, I'm sorry, I accept this as part of my atonement and will continue. But you can only hear this so many times before you want to snap and beat the character, the story, the writing over the head with Enji's wheelchair. Why is that? He's behaving exactly as he should, and yet...

The reason why it fails to evoke strong feelings is because of what we'd called "narrative dissonance." The actions of Bruce and Enji are the same, they both neglect to do anything, make any real attempts to reach out to their victims because they're paralyzed by guilt.

However, we are told that they have entirely different arcs. Bruce's arc is a tragic fall. He's failing as a hero. While we are being told that Enji is experiencing an arc of atonement. Enji is supposed to be improving himself, and Bruce is supposed to be experiencing negative character development but they both do the exact same thing in story. Bruce neglects Jason, we are told by the story, by the characters in the story that Bruce is failing Jason. Enji does nothing in time to actually atone for Toya or try to help him, yet, we are told again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again that Enji is atoning with nothing substantive to show us this is the case.

To show what I meant instead of telling this scene is in chapter 252.

This scene is the ending point in chapter in chapter #426.

It's just him repeating the exact same sentiment and yet in a more than 150+ chapter gap, Enji never made any action to show he was now placing his family first. Enji didn't say anything to Dabi when he revealed himself as Toya. Enji didn't look for Toya in the months before the final war arc. Enji literally appeared on live TV in a broadcast that Toya was watching and said the very selfish "Watch Me" atone for the crime of creating Toya instead of literally talking about Toya or too Toya. Well, that would have rocked the boat too much... THAT IS LITERALLY THE POINT. Enji had to somehow break from tradition or make some significant sacrifice onscreen to his social standing to show that he's willing to put his family first. Enji decides to go along with Hawks decision to not face Toya head on, making the decision to be the hero for the final time which directly causes Toya to get up after Shoto brings him down non-lethally and make one last attempt to suicide bomb for his father's inaction.

Bruce does nothing for a long time in Under the Red Hood. He ignores his initial instinct that Jason came back and instead makes a long investigation on whether or not someone can come back from the dead in order to distract himself. When Jason takes the mask off, Batman already knew but was pretending otherwise because he didn't want to face the reality.

Even when Jason takes his mask off, Bruce still takes on the "I need to investigate this" angle even though Jason calls him out that deep down he already knows it's the truth. This of course foreshadows Bruce's underlying flaw, he doesn't want to face Jason head on because he feels too much grief about what happened to Jason and his guilt is more important than Jason's own grief. Just as the father has lost the son, the son has lost the father.

What follows is several chapters of Batman fighting crime as usual and making no attempts to directly search for Jason. They cross paths a few times but when they do Bruce doesn't follow. In fact, Bruce only shows up when Jason sends Bruce a sample of the joker's hair and Bruce knows that the Joker has kidnapped him out of Arkham. Bruce almost lets Jason get killed by Black Mask because he doesn't know whether to stop Jason or save him yet again, and then they have their final showdown where Jason has kidnapped the joker to demand Bruce kill him, and Bruce finally attempts to talk him down.

Out of context it sounds like I'm describing the same plotline, to the point where if you haven't read either, it looks like I'm complaining baselessly. Why is one hero doing nothing until it's too late good, and the other bad? The difference is of course context, or rather framing. Bruce's actions are called out by the people around him (Dick, Jason, Alfred) as him handling the situation wrong. Whereas both Enji's internal monologue and other characters say that he is doing his best to atone for his actions and deserves a chance, but the events we are shown in story are the exact opposite.

Here's another example to SHOW my point. Here's Dabi with my special, hardcover edition of under the Red Hood.

I reread the entirety of the fourteen chapter plotline and the majority of internal narrations come from characters outside of Bruce observing his behavior and commenting on how differently he's acting. Jason's backstory for instance is told by Alfred, not Bruce. Dick Grayson the first Robin comments on Batman's odd behavior. The rest are the third person narrator. Bruce has four instances of internal monologues spanning a few pages each in a 378 page story. (Alfred has the most internal monologues and he's presented as a more trustworthy unbiased narrator than Bruce, to get us to question Bruce's actions).

"Information travels on many routes, sometimes it comes predictably like the tides. You just need to know where to stand and meet it. Other times it's elusive and you have to root through the garbage to find it. In the last few years I've come to rely on Barbara Gordon, Oracle, we all did. Utilizing every form of surveillance equipment she has been the eyes and ear [...] but those days are over. I can't rely on anyone anymore. [...] and tonight it's also about the company I keep. It's different with him [night wing] out here. I think about when he was younger, when I was younger, it was different, simpler and I miss it. I miss those days, for that it's hard to be around him.

This first internal monologue is a case of unreliable narrator, because as soon as finishing it Dick Grayson / Nightwing shows up, offers Batman his help and while Bruce at first refuses it the two of them are forced to work together to fight Amazo. What does this show us? Bruce is not alone, but Bruce actively acts like he's alone ignoring the feelings of the other people around him. It exhibits a flaw of Bruce and the bad headspace he is in mentally (if I remember correctly Stephanie Brown recently died in the comics while this storyline was being published. It establishes Bruce's improper coping mechanism with grief, and how he is going about it the incorrect way.

Bruce says I work alone, and then Bruce says it's easier working with Dick, I miss it, but I can't go back to those days. It's bruce's contradictory thinking patterns in the same chapter that stop him. it's bruce's fault he cannot connect to Dick, and he is actively mourning the past because his relationship with Dick has changed.

Now the final part of the monologue in that chapter.

He's quick. Not just fast, agile. He's not thinking about his next move, he's just making it. He's been trained well. And there's something about him. Something familiar. There was something interesting about before he cut the line, before it had been taught. That had to have been practiced. Either that or just plain dumb luck. No it's not luck.

This is the first hint that Bruce already suspects it's Jason from early on but is in denial about it. This unreliable narrator trope also gives an agency to Bruce's decision, he is actively choosing to ignore the possibility that it's Jason because it doesn't want it to be.

Whereas, a lot of Endeavor's plot takes away any agency from him. For example, he doesn't even know that Dabi is Toya, because if he had the sneaking suspicion and ignored it like Batman did that might have made him look bad. We can't have the main character in a tragedy looking bad now can we?

The second monologue is more denial.

That device is from Kord industries. I should know. Ordered it special from them. How can he have it? No more dead ends. No more questions. No more guessing. Tonight I find out what is passing for the truth.

Reading between the lines this is outright confirmation Batman already knows.

The third is a brief reflection in his feelings for Jason.

The armor has to be light enough to fit but strong enough to protect. But sometimes a great many times, it's not strong enough. It wans't strong enough for Barbara who has to fight from her chair. It wasn't strong enough for Stephanie, other dear soldier enough dear grave. And it wasn't enough for Jason. Willful Jason. Who ignored the danger. Who spat at risk. Who was never frightened enough. I've always wondered... always... was he scared at the end? Was he praying I'd come save him? And in those last moments when he knew that I wouldn't. Did he hate me for it?

This monologue directly shows without stating it outright, Bruce is prioritizing his feelings of grief and failure mixing them in with his genuine grief over the loss of a son. it's selfish of him, but grief is a selfish emotion.

Here's the thing Bruce is allowed to be selfish and to not have the correct reaction to his grief, because the whole story is centered on Bruce being unable to get his shit together in time, and this picture into his emotions is an explanation as to why. Bruce is afraid of being hated by Jason. Jason of course has every right to hate him for failing as a father, but still I think not wanting to be hated to a person you loved so much and feel genuinely sorry over what you let happen to them is an understandable reaction.

Meanwhile we have Enji saying repeatedly all the right things in his monologue, the selfless, I don't need to be forgiven, it's okay if they hate me, I just need to atone but he never actually does anything. There's no explanation for why he isn't doing anything either, so that narrative dissonance. We're shown why Bruce doesn't act in time, he's internally a mess to be frank. We are not shown why Enji doesn't act in time because his internal monologue tells us again and again he's committed to atoning and he understands what the right thing to do is.

As Codenamesanzanka says:

Enji is still saying all the right things, but the story isn't giving him the opportunity to actually do the right things. To have his new actions matter. I have no doubt about his sincerity in his mantra, but without the 'show', it's hollow. Similarly, "Let's talk" is actually kinda bullshit too, because it's so vague. This is less about Enji, and more about the writing, how it set up this scene. "Let's talk" or "I want to talk" or any of that variation is repeated 6 times, without anything more or specific added.

There's an excess of repetition of Enji saying he wants to atone, he's ready to atone, without any of that materializing in the story.

As @class1akids says in this reaction post:

It also feels also super-hollow to say he's sheltering the family from the fallout, after they've just talked about how Fuyumi lost her job (and got a new one through the connections she herself built). How is he going to do that?

The fourth because I don't want to write it down, it's just Batman monologueing on how his partnership with Jason is still good and explaining the technical details of his fight with count Vertigo. It's in chapter 10 if you must look it up.

So four monologues total. Two monologues establish indirectly that Batman knows that Red Hood is Jason and doesn't want to face him. The third monologue establishes why he doesn't want to face him, he's afraid of being hated. The monologue is in line with Bruce's actions in the story, Bruce investigates several ways of reviving from the dead instead of looking for Jason.

The character's reactions around Bruce are also talking about how he's not acting like himself. Especially Alfred's who speaks of Bruce's indecision, on whether to put a stop to or save Jason.

"It is curious. He is lost in thought. It is not like him to spend vast stretches of time immobile, where his mind is gripped in the solitary process of deduction. This is quite different. He is hesitating. At a loss for what to do. I believe it is about Jason. And whether or not to stop him or save him."

This is illustrated in two scenes later where Jason spends a long time simply watching when Jason is fighting enemies, first in a fight against Captain Nazi, and second Black Mask. Jason even gives a direct callout of that behavior.

Jason: What the hell took you so long? Couldn't decide if you wanted to let me live. Batman: Shut up and fight.

Observed by Alfred Bruce is completely stalling and can't choose, observed by Jason Bruce can't decide whether to let Jason live or not. Bruce hesitates twice. We know why. We see it in action. It's called out as flawed behavior.

Now let's cover all the tell that don't show that is Endeavor's many monologues.

Pro Hero Arc:

I have to safeguard the future for them. That's the job for whoever's on top. What about the lives I cut short? Just demanding forgiveness isn't enough, it's too late for that. At this point I need to atone there's no other route.

Hellish Todoroki Family 1:

I'm trying to make ammends going forward. It might be too late. but I fall asleep every night thinking about it. Lately it's been the same dream. The wife and the kids looking happy at the dinner table. But I'm never there with them. It might be too late but I fall asleep every night thinking about what I can do for my family. I wish you could be here too, Toya. It's always the same dream. My whole family's there but not me. If I really care how they feel [I'll remain here].

I'm not going to read 200 chapters so I'm just going to ballpark it based on memory. Here we go.

Dabi's Dance:

My eldest, Toya didn't harbor frost within him. He didn't have a way to overcome the inescapable downside of overheating but I nevertheless sought to raise the boy as a hero. [...] Because Toya had more potential than me I placed my ambitions on his shoulders. I thought it could be you. You could have been the one to reach my eternal goal. My frustration... My envy... The ugliness in my heart... you could have been the one to smash it all to dust.

Plot twist this is the only monologue I like. It's different from all the others, and it's the only one where Enji is being emotionally honest. He put the emotional burden of his own emotional insecurities on an eight year old child, and expected to live vicariously through him and when Toya failed to live up to those expectations he just abandoned him. It alligns what we have been shown so far, Enji is not acting like a reptentant man here who realizes the harm he's done to Toya and only thinks of Toya as an extension of himself and his own regrets.

The Fight Against AFO:

My mistakes took the form as Toya leading to many stolen futures. The past never dies. Rage, resentment and even penace wound together toward the future. And the future is a path for the young. A path with so many branching choices. That's why I must win this. [I'll keep paying my penance. I'll win today and keep my eyes on Toya.]

When Enji decides to double Suicide with Toya:

I take full responsibility. I swore to bear the burden and live my life atoning for it all. However, you've been watching me all this time. While I couldn't be there to watch you. You were someone I especially needed to do right by. No I can't let you meet your end alone, but I won't let anyone else get caught up in our tragedy.

Hellish Todoroki Family Final:

I came to talk about what's to come. I'm retiring as a hero. That was my initial plan even before the war started, but now I can't even walk on my own. The hero endeavor burned to death. Your flames were really stronger than mine. [...] You're right. You know everything about me, Toya. After all you were always watching me. And you wanted me to do the same for you, but I didn't. Not matter what anyone says your heat does come from my hellflame. From now on I'll come everyday, so let's talk. It's too late now, so let's talk. [...] You're free to hate me. Anything is fine really, so throw it all at me.

This one is spoken dialogue but it's still a four-page long monologue. Every one of Enji's monologues with one exceptionsays the same thing: I'm sorry, I'll spend the rest of my life atoning for my actions.

We're repeatedly told Enji is atoning but he acts like Batman. Then, his actions should be framed as Batman, not atoning but avoiding any responsibility.

As observed by Class1akids when we were discussing the update:

Everyone else faces an uphill struggle with their lives, but we should all feel sorry for Enji atoning and being in hell. I hate Hori's compulsion to over-write his abusers and over-explain their atonement. He does this with Bakugou too but with Enji it's more irritating. It was so much more enjoyable when he just wrote the thing but didn't point at them and say -> look, they are atoning. Aren't they soooo cool??

Enji's internal monologues and the other characters frame him as some sort of martyr, while on the other hand it's clear by both Batman's actions and Alfred's observations he's not acting like his usual self. In fact, this is an interpretation of Under the Red Hood that I love from the writers of the video game Arkham Knight that does a less tragic retelling of Under the Red Hood:

Batman doesn't fight victims. He saves them.

Therefore if Batman is fighting Jason, a victim, he's not acting like Batman. I'm also fine with Arkham Knight being an Under the Red Hood retelling because it's a different story. Comics do this all the time, different universe versions, popular storylines adapted into different mediums. It also works as a commentary on the original story, by showing what Batman could have done to lead to a more positive outcome it makes Batman's choices in Under the Red Hood worse and more tragic because he could have saved Jason, there was still a chance.

So here we have two flawed tragic heroes who are meant to be both pitied and condemned for their actions. One of them is all pity with no condemnation. The other is both pity and condemnation, Batman is grieving, but also he's failing his responsibility towards Jason. Therefore one protagonist works, the other fails utterly.

I'm not saying abusers don't deserve redemption. I'm not saying Enji should have died in order to atone. I'm not saying that the underlying problem with the arc is that they decided to make Enji sympathetic and a focus of the arc. The most important problem is the breaking of one of the fundamental rules of storytelling: Show, Don't Tell.

The Tragic Villain

Not only does The Hellish Todoroki Family plotline fail to make Enji a compelling protagonist, it also fails it's biggest victim. Now, these are both stories that end with the hero failing to save their victim. So if both of these stories have the same ending, why am I saying it failed Dabi, but not Jason?

Well, let me explain.

Dabi and Jason are both villains turned victims. The stories themselves are about this ambiguity. How much should the be held responsible for their own choices? If they are actively harming innocent people, then shouldn't they be stopped? Should they be automatically be forgiven just because of the pain and grief they've suffered, even if they've been causing it to others?

Both characters are also reflective of their fathers because they are too being selfish in their grief, they want their grief acknowledged and so are violently lashing out.

Jason and Dabi both make plays at being vigilantes at first, Dabi wants to inherit Stains will, and Jason Todd wants to be a better bat-man by taking control of the drug trade in Gotham and cutting crime down by executing gang heads. However, neither of them are being honest with this and it's shown through their actions, both of them abandon their original plans.

In the final showdown all Toya cares about is facing Enji on the battlefield, and when he's on the brink of death his mind erodes to the point where all he can do is scream for Enji's attention while his flames get hotter and hotter.

Let's take about Jason first and how his narrative treats him a whole lot better and more sympathetically, with more humanity than Batman. Jason is still held responsible for his choices, he is criticized by Bruce for murdering gang leaders and passing it off as justice. He's also blatantly shown to be a hypocrite. My favorite scene from Red Hood: Lost Days, the official UTRH prequel.

"I want to kill the joker in a cool way. Just sniping the Joker from a rooftop isn't dramatic enough for me."

This scene, and the final scene of UTRH underlines Jason isn't executing criminals because he believes it's the right thing to do, or because of his stated motivation that killing the joker would prevent more future victims.

Instead his every action is to set up a scenario where he makes a selfish demand of Bruce. He wants Bruce to prove to him that he would choose him over being a hero, by setting up his final scenario. Him, the Joker, and Batman. Jason will shoot the Joker. Bruce has a gun. He can either choose to let Jason kill the Joker, or kill Jason to stop him, either way it makes it clear what Bruce's priorities are.

The underlying reason for this is similiar to Bruce. Just like Bruce, Jason is deeply afraid that Batman doesn't love him. That he thinks of him as a failure. (This is Toya's main reason too).

He also interprets Bruce's failure to avenge him to mean that Bruce didn't even care enough to mourn him. If Bruce loved him enough, he'd choose him over the joker, but he's so afraid that Bruce doesn't love him enough that he's going to force Bruce to choose.

Along the way he's also going to behead several crimelords in order to put an exclamation point on that point.

The way Jason completely unravels in the confrontation shows this insecurity, he begins with monologueing about how batman should totally kill people, until his fear that he wasn't important enough, and his grief at losing his father is revealed.

Batman: I know I failed you, but I tried to save you. I'm trying to save you now. Jason: Is that what what you think this is about? Your letting me die. I don't know what clouds your judgement worse, your guilt or your antiquated sense of morality. Bruce, I forgive you for not saving me. Jason: But why on god's green earth is he still alive? Ignoring what he's done in the past. Blindly, stupidly disregarding the whole graveyards he's filled with people. The friend's he's killed. I thought killing me - that I'd be the last person you ever let him hurt. Jason: If it had been you that he beat to a bloody mess. If it had been you he left in agony. If he had taken you from this world. I would have done nothing but search the planet for this pathetic pile of evil, this death worshipping garbage, and sent him off to hell.

Direct statement, it's irresponsible of Bruce to let Joker live after killing Jason and should have put him down to prevent future victims. Reading between the lines, Batman not taking revenge for Jason is a sign that he didn't love him enough, Jason loves Batman more because he would have taken revenge.

As the confrontation continues and Jason's mental spiral worsens, to the point where he can't keep up his pretense of self-righteousness.

Jason: I'm not talking about killing cobblepot, or scarecrow, or riddled, or dent. Jason: I'm talking about him. Just him. And doing it because...he took me away from you.

The father had lost the son, and now the son had lost the father.

Jason's revenge is just a cover, for his grief at losing Bruce. I think this also shows a really positive aspect of Jason's character to humanize him instead of condemning him for his actions to ignore or even justify the suffering he endured: Jason really loves Bruce.

I mean how meaningful is the statement: "Bruce, I forgive you for not saving me."

Bruce has been afraid to hear the whole time that Jason hates him, that he won't forgive him, but Jason loves him deeply. In fact his love is almost equal to his rage because Jason is a deeply emotional person, and these little details make him human and not just like a plot obstacle that Bruce has to face. A metaphor for his past failures.

Dabi is drawn as a crying boy who wants comfort, Jason is shown to be a crying boy who wants comfort through both dialogue and action without us directly needing to be told. It's a heartbreaking line and doing it because he took me away from you and it lands perfectly because the narrative wants us to just look at Jason's grief. It doesn't add an asterisk* even though he was in pain, he's done unforgivable things that can't be justified to undercut Jason's suffering.

In fact that might be another underlying problem with The Hellish Todoroki Family, the narrative tries too hard to make you feel a certain way instead of just presenting things as they are to make you come to your own conclusion. UTRH doesn't support Jason's revenge based serial killing of villains. It doesn't say he's justified to cut off the heads of mobsters. However, it doesn't excessively state "Well, I'm really sorry what happened to you but what you've done can't be forgiven" so we don't have to challenge ourselves to feel too much empathy for Jason's suffering.

Meanwhile even when Toya tries to express his rightful anger and grief, we're always met with someone shutting him down and saying well yeah, but you're wrong, involving innocent people is unforgivable.

As said by @stillness-in-green in the replies to this post:

I think so much harm (in-universe, but the state of the Twitter fandom makes me think the messages are pretty toxic irl, too) comes out of portraying the Heroes as needing to weigh in on the *morality* of the Villains' actions before they gauge "saving" them, when that is not a thing that glorified cops have any business thinking they have the right to do. Demanding repentance before the rehab is so bizarre.

You can say someone's actions are wrong without using it as a factor to consider whether or not their suffering as a human being should be acknowledged, and like I said there's multiple instances of people just yelling at Toya how immoral he is instead of addressing the elephant in the room.

You're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong.

(Okay, I understand that some people have interpreted this as a show of Honnae and Tatamae, the Todoroki's who are a very repressed household are finally talking about their feelings even if those feelings are selfish and ugly).

(I'm not criticizing Shoto for saying that the people he killed were his own choice necessarily, Shoto is a character who's actions need to be read more deeply than his words he was dedicated to bringing Dabi down without him burning himself any further start to finished. My criticism lies in the fact that Hori uses Shoto as a mouth piece because he thinks we need to be reminded that murder is bad).

However, even acknowledging that time and place man, time and place. They couldn't have done that in the aftermath, when Toya isn't burning to death?

Hey buddy, you're being selfish.

Toya: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M MELTING, I'M MELTING.

This is I feel the underlying problem with the way the arc is written, not because the Todorokis are a very traditional Japanese family and there are cultural reasons they express their emotions differently, I'll give a caveat to that it's a nuance I might not understand.

However, I am arguing the actual problem is tell don't show. Horikoshi thinks that we as an audience need to be told multiple times that murder is bad, and we cannot be trusted to interpret that on our own.

Under the Red Hood shows both sides of Batman and Jason's debate, and let's us just come to the conclusion that Jason is in the wrong because revenge isn't justice. Horikoshi reaches no shit sherlock levels of telling us that we're not supposed to approve of Dabi's murders.

it's also a matter of giving Dabi narrative space to express his feelings, like every time Dabi tries to talk he is continually shut down (Shoto does engage Dabi talk to him and listen to why he didn't come back though I'll give him that) and it seems to be to push forward this weird idea that you shouldn't sympathize with the pain Dabi has endured or the ways he's dehumanized unless he does something to prove he deserves to be treated like a human being first.

Jason gets to monologue and make an entire argument, and his argument also shows the depths of his love for Bruce and what a deeply feeling person he is, and how those feelings being hurt and twisted could logically lead to his lashing out.

Compare this to Dabi who doesn't get a final monologue, but is instead reduced to a completely mindless state where he just cries out for his dad's attention. He doesn't get to make his argument.

Jason and Dabi both choose to blow themselves up, but Jason gets enough character agency to show this is a deliberate choice he's making even if it's the wrong one. He retains his character agency and ability to make decisions until the end of the narrative.

Jason's also you know physically crying. The end result of the narrative is about wrong choices that both Bruce and Jason make together, and then suffer the consequences together. Bruce watches the same failure play out again and he isn't able to save Jason, Jason doesn't get what he wants, he doesn't get revenge and he doesn't get to reunite with his father. It's tragic for both of them, and brought about by decisions both of them made.

Whereas yes Dabi makes a lot of bad decisions leading up to the last war arc, but in the end his final fate is up to a choice Enji made to not face Toya in the final battle.

However, while the final consequence of the battle is brought about more by Enji's decisions than Toya's, it's Toya who endures all the suffering and punishment. It's Toya who is in an iron coffin, and doomed to slowly and agonizingly die with all of his skin burnt off unable to move. Toya doesn't even get agency after the arc is over. Enji still has a wheelchair, Enji can still move around, Enji's still fucking rich, he's not in prison for his actions, he as Rei wheeling him around.

Toya's agency and choices are all taken from him, presumably to serve the plot purpose of making Enji save him to finish off his arc, and then ENJI DOESN'T EVEN SAVE HIM.

Also I think it's important to mention, Bruce's tragic ending is brought about by him attempting to save both, trying to save the joker and Jason with the same action. Whereas Enji's tragic ending is brought about by Enji NOT LIFTING A FUCKING FINGER TO HELP. Yet, it's Dabi who has the lion's share of suffering, and is sentenced to this horrific state of being skinless in an iron coffin and only being able to be awake a few minutes a day with no choice but to waste away.

Bruce is also immediately called out for his actions, by the Joker of all people, you handled this all wrong, it's your fault. Bruce is right to not kill the joker, killing the Joker would not have solved any of Jason's problems, but the fact that he put off facing Jason for so long, and his inability to communicate that he loves Jason is what leads to Jason thinking that the only way to prove Bruce loves him is to force him to choose. It's because Bruce has utterly failed to show him in any other way that he is loved.

Joker: Oh my god, I love it! You manage to find a way to win, and everyone still loses. I'm going to be the one who gets what he wants tonight, badda bing, badda boom."

I'd also like to add that a lot of agency in Enji's actions are taken away too, to make him look more blameless. It's not Enji's fault that he didn't say anything to Dabi during Dabi's dance, he passed out because he had a punctured lung. It's not Enji's fault that he spent a month protecting Deku instead of searching for Toya, he had to protect innocent people. It's not Enji's fault that he didn't go immediately to face Toya in the final war arc Hawks told him not to.

It's not Enji's fault that he made Shoto and Toya fight like Pokemon instead of cleaning up his own mess, and also he feels really sorry for it and as soon as he's done punching the bad guy he'll look after Toya he promises.

Enji does get called out for this behavior but it falls flat because it only comes from the villain AFO, and Toya himself. As I stated above too, the ending is more influenced by Enji's actions not Toya's (because Toya's agency is stripped away until he's mindless) but Toya is the one who has to die while Enji gets to live and atone.

That is the real sticking point for The Hellish Todoroki Family, the way it ends.

Themes Are For Eight Graders

The underlying problem with the whole arc and why The Hellish Todoroki Family fails as a tragedy, is because it wasn't written to be a tragedy.

The above quote is from an interview with the writers of the widely hated Game of Thrones Season 8, which took a sudden tragic turn for Dany's character, gave her an incredibly dehumanizing ending of being put down like a rabid dog by her own lover, an ending that was neither foreshadowed nor did it match with anything written before.

In this meta here by @hamliet it goes far more into depth that Game of Thrones isn't a tragedy, but a piece of Romantic fiction (not a love story, Romanticism is a genre of big emotions, the beauty of life, larger than life ideas hence why it fits well with fantasy genre, it can be sad but it doesn't follow tragic structure).

Dany is a romantic heroine, a deconstruction of the idea of the classic warrior princess trope, and you know a colonizer, but she's not meant to be written as an inherently bad person. There are people who say that Dany was going to die in the original books. I'm one of those people. Me. However, context and framing matters, Dany for all her colonizing ways does genuinely want to do the right thing, so it's likely she'd die a heroic death as a reflection of her selfless intentions (and intentions do matter for fictional characters) whereas in the show she's put down as a villain.

Now watch me I'm going to coin a term for future literary critics to use: Narrative Gaslighting.

Narrative gaslighting is different then Show Don't Tell, where an author has just failed to properly show what they're trying to tell you in the story. Narrative Gaslighting is when a narrative deliberately tries to mislead you, straight up lies to you, or just insists things that did not happen totally happened guys. Much like real gaslighting, Narrative Gaslighting makes you feel stupid for interpreting things a certain way and insists you were wrong all along.

Narrative gaslighting is when Tyrian gives a speech that everyone should have suspected Dany when she burned slavers alive that she was secretly evil and would one day turn on them.

Like, no.

Dany is flawed because she is a foreigner, interfering with the politics of a different country that she does not understand in order to gain enough resources and men to return to her home country and invade that country to exercise her right as a Targeryn to uphold the divine right of kings.

Game of Thrones doesn't mention any of that shit that's in alignment with the previous actions in the story, it's just insisting the very ableist notion that Dany was insane all along and her violence towards other people is the result of her mental illness.

(Also before anyone says, so if she's a colonizer than how can she have good intentions, everyone is Bad in Game of Thrones, they're all waging war to vie for a throne, monarchy is bad guys. IDK how to tell you that Game of Thrones has gray on gray on gray on gray morality).

(Also this aside ties into the hangup of MHA and most popular fandom culture on Twitter, that Dany's moral failings somehow disqualify her from her humanity. In spite of the fact that on top of all of that she's a rape victim, and like, Dany's only on that continent in the first place because she was sold as a bride.)

But here's the same weird subtext that Horikoshi's writing of Dabi. The fact that Dabi was continually victimized and denied human dignity does not need to be addressed, because he did the bad things and didn't atone properly enough for it first.

In essence this random post on the gunnerkrigg court forums I found on the same day the chapter came out, displaying apollo's gift of prophecy.

"When someone is persecuted, it's important to inform everyone about their flaws. That way you don't have to feel anything about all the times that they were denied human dignity."

So, Dany is not written as a tragic hero but a romantic one, we as an audience are both meant to acknowledge her flaws and sympathize with her, not demonize her in an ableist way for being insane, and even if Dany is meant to die the tragic way she dies does not match up with all of the narrative foreshadowing that was built before that.

Like, for instance a lot of POC after the show ended kept telling everyone that Dany's actions in a foreign country were seriously problematic, and not only did the audience not listen but the showwiters didn't acknowledge it with the same subtlety as the books. So those people especially were able to pick up Dany's character flaws, and when the show finally acknowledged them it's not even in the way that critiques of the show were pointing out Dany's flaws it was just "she was insane all along." Not like taking time to go "no matter what the intention, interfering with the politics of a foreign country is wrong."

The problem with the Todoroki arc is essentially the same, down to the ableism (because outsiders continually call Dabi either a maniac or insane Demon without even giving credence to his grievances about hero society he's just reduced to an insane fringe element of society, and Dabi himself is reduced to a completely mindless, childish, insane screaming state where he can't make active decisions).

The Todoroki Arc is not set up to us as a tragic one. The ending is pretty clearly telegraphed to the whole audience. People are not wrong for thinking that Toya's ending would be either rehabilitation like Rei with the eventual hope of being welcomed home, or some kind of house arrest where he still gets to be with his family.

Everyone happy at the Dinner table and Enji not sitting with them.

"I wish you could be here, Toya."

"We all have to go stop, Toya."

"In that case, I'll make him sit down for a bowl with me."

Even Shoto's efforts to take down Toya non-lethally are rendered completely pointless, because Toya gets back up again and then burns himself alive (completely by his own choice so no one has to feel bad that they failed).

The story sets up the expectation that Toya is going to be brought home and sit down for a meal with his family. Then it makes you feel stupid for going in an entirely different direction. It was always going to end this way didn't you know The Todorokis are a tragedy?

Well, I just spent a very long section of this thesis statement illustrating that if it's supposed to be a tragedy, then it's still not written well.

It's a written as a romantic story of a family healing, and the villain getting saved, only for the villain not to be saved and the story to just keep on going like not getting saved isn't a huge failure. This is something that should permanently destroy the main characters, that they got the chance to repeat Sekoto peak and be there this time and they all utterly failed. I feel bad for Shoto most of all because he did everything right, and he still loses his brother, but does the story show that?

The problem is the story is blatantly lying to you about the fact that Toya was somehow saved, even though he LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE HELLRAISER. To quote Codenamesanzanka again:

But I feel the story couldn't give us that because it will remind the reader and everyone just how much Touya will be missing. In-story, talking any more will overburden Touya's heart - and how apt is that metaphor? So let's talk about how we'll talk, but that's all that's allowed here for this scene. Else we'll see how unfair it is that Touya has to be confined to this room, he isn't with his family and they have to come to this prison just to tell him about their day, and soon he will be gone. Details make it real, and it would've exposed the lie that Touya was saved in an actual way. The story knows it too - "this extra time Shouto gave us." This is all 'extra', and not the core. [...] If the story was sincere that this is a case of "it's simply too late" - as it should be!!! imo, to really drive in the clear point that they failed, they did not get the save they wanted, because that's the truth - the tone of the chapter isn't tragic enough for that. The tone is going for 'Making Peace With This'. We've skipped the stages of grief and all we have is acceptance. The characters have accepted this, and so must the readers as well.

Therefore it's narrative gaslighting, the story is making us doubt our perceptions and trying instead to manipulate us to feel a certain way. We don't have to question the unfairness of Toya's fate, because look at all the people he's hurt, and look how Enji is atoning and taking responsibility.

The story builds up the idea that Enji will choose Toya. That he will choose being a father over being a hero. Enji doesn't do that, and it's Toya who suffers the horrific, painful consequences while Enji gets off mostly scott free. Mind you it's also ableist to suggest that being in a wheelchair is some sort of life-ending consequence like he's fine. The story even goes out of its way to say how avoidable this ending could have been if Enji or Rei or someone lifted a single finger to give Toya the acknowledgement he wanted, and then gives it a "Too little, Too Late" conclusion but doesn't acknowledge that this is where it's ending and instead tells us that Enji has successfully atoned.

"Everyone's watching me. So this is what it's like. If it was such a simple thing, then why not sooner?"

If it was going to turn out this way Toya should have just died here, not because death would somehow be a mercy compared to life in prison, but because the Todoroki Family doesn't deserve to get to pat themselves on the back. If they let Sekoto Peak happen a second time, then they should have to deal with the consequences of that.

It would be consistent is my point. This is written as a "Too Little, Too Late" kind of ending, but we don't get the emotional response from the Todorokis that they've let Toya die a second time.

On the other hand, UTRH has the exact same tragic ending but it doesn't make me angry because it's honest about it. The Todorokis let Sekoto peak happen a second time. Batman let Death in the Family happen a second time, but look at how even the narration and comic panels of the story acknowledge it.

"Fate is a funny thing. It swells up like a raging current and we are forced to travel. It provides us no exit. No deviation. It drops us in a bottomless ocean and compels us. We either swim, or drown, and sometimes as we struggle against the tide, a great truth arises."

One ends with Enji meaninglessly stating that he'll spend the rest of his life atoning for Toya and watching over him (which I guess will be like two months tops) for the fifth time. The other ends with Batman being lectured by the Joker of all people of how he chose wrong and being forced to watch once again as a warehouse blows up, and he's completely helpless to save Jason.

UTRH ends with the message that Batman sucks, Enji's atonement arc ends with Natsuo calling him cool for atoning and UTRH makes me like Batman way more as a character. Whereas at this point I feel nothing from the Todoroki Family, except for a disgust for the way that Toya not only has to die, but has to die a slow, gruesome death while the rest of his family walks away with the small comfort of "oh at least we'll get to say what we need to say before Toya passes."

Especially with the fact that Toya's greatest fear was that when he died, he died meaninglessly because his family never grieved him and all moved on with their life. I guess we don't have to analyze how gross the underlying message that criminals don't deserve to be sympathized with because themes are for eighth graders.

EPILOGUE

The post is finished but apparently everyone expects me to cover every single possible angle even in posts this long.

You didn't address the cultural aspect. Under the Red Hood is a western story, and Todoroki Family is based on eastern concepts.

The post isn't about that. The post is long enough I can't cover every single topic. Here's someone who covered that topic thoroughly. This one discusses more about the nuances of collectivism.

Also, since the Todoroki Family obviously copied Under the Red Hood's homework, it warrants a comparison. Especially since it seems to critically misunderstand what made the original work.

Which is a valid form of Literary Criticism, as Ursula K Le Guinn once said:

It doesn’t occur to the novice that a genre is a genre because it has a field and focus of its own; its appropriate and particular tools, rules, and techniques for handling the material; its traditions; and its experienced, appreciative readers—that it is, in fact, a literature. Ignoring all this, our novice is just about to reinvent the wheel, the space ship, the space alien, and the mad scientist, with cries of innocent wonder. The cries will not be echoed by the readers. Readers familiar with that genre have met the space ship, the alien, and the mad scientist before. They know more about them than the writer does.

The Todorkis aren't all to blame for Toya. Natsu, Fuyumi and Shoto are innocent:

You're right. It's just easier to refer them as the Todorokis then specifying "Enji and Rei" each time.

You didn't mention Shoto once in this post:

I have no cricism for Shoto's role in all this. In fact I think he's the best written part. I praise it here.

Shoto is a good boy, and he deserved to spend more time with his brother. The fact he won't be able to sit down and have dinner of him, is the greatest tragedy of them all.

#mha meta #mha spoilers #mha 426 #mha 426 spoilers #shoto todoroki #dabi #toya todoroki #enji todoroki #under the red hood #jason todd #bruce wayne #batman #mha critical #todoroki family

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zombie-bait · 4 months

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Full Moon

Ok so I don’t normally post about Helluva Boss but the newest episode touched on an interesting concept I haven’t necessarily seen represented in media. Back when I was on Twitter (derogatory) a few years ago there was this now deleted viral thread where someone discussed how their struggles with mental health affected their relationship with their partner and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

This is such a good, short example of how anxiety and depression can play tricks on you. It becomes so easy to envision yourself as a nuisance, a constant burden to those closest to you because they cannot possibly genuinely enjoy your company, right? But in doing so you create this arbitrarily cruel version of the people you love, people who would otherwise never behave like this outside of your own mind.

It's mean. Because your mind wants to be mean to you under these circumstances. It wants to put everyone else's emotions and desires above yours, both in worthiness and validity. And that starts bleeding into your understanding of other people, especially those you care about.

Now. Helluva Boss.

"Can I get a fucking MINUTE to think after everything you put me through you pompous rich ASSHOLE? Treat me like one of your little butler imps, you can’t just dismiss me like that! I mean, you royal fucks think you can do this every time, like you can just play with our feelings because we’re smaller and not as important. Well I’m not letting you, BITCH! Let’s go!" - Blitz

I find it really interesting how Helluva Boss decided to approach this conflict between Stolas and Blitz. Obviously, the difference in power matters. It's the underlying tension of their entire relationship and their lives. Stolas is burdened by the mountain of expectations thrust upon him from a very young age while Blitz is constantly reminded that he can NEVER be part of that world, that he is "smaller and not as important" not just in Hell's hierarchy but in his own life and family. Stolas very literally has power over Blitz (through the grimoire, the arrangement, his position in society) and Blitz uses their relationship as an excuse to reverse those roles. But that power dynamic, in one form or another, never truly goes away. And for Blitz, it's a lot easier to paint Stolas as this manipulative symbol of power and himself as nothing more than Stolas' plaything. It's easier to be angry than to be vulnerable and accept that someone might care about him.

"Dismiss" is the keyword in that quote. All that Blitz has been able to process is that Stolas has decided to end the relationship that they have. He feels ls like a choice has been taken away from him so he lashes out because he's not ready to emotionally tackle what the rest of Stolas' offer might entail. If Stolas hates him, just wants to play with him, then he is justified in his anger, his self-destruction, his isolation. If the world is mean, you're "allowed" to be mean back.

But

In that moment he forgets that Stolas is someone he actually cares about. Someone he's known for way too long and clearly wants to keep in his life, no matter how reluctant he can be to admit it. Someone who is not innately cruel or manipulative but sad and desperate for connections in a lot of the same ways that Blitz is. And Blitz immediately sees that he's miscalculated something.

Somewhere along the way the fictional version of Stolas that he's allowed himself to be mad at and the real one that he's not ready to admit he cares about have merged into something real that he has actual power over. Stolas can get hurt and Blitz can be the one who does it. He has once again allowed his greatest fears (which Stolas so frequently symbolizes) to co-opt his loved ones, to give him an "out" even though he didn't actually want one in the first place.

I'm definitely not the first person to say this but I think this is an example of the miscommunication trope done right. Their individual struggles are what cause them to be unable to connect during this conversation or to even have a proper conversation in the first place. There is no convenient misunderstanding or third party fabricating this rift. Both of them have preconceived ideas of what the other one is thinking but those ideas are flawed and rooted in self-hatred. They also both shutdown in their unique ways when the conversation starts heading in the direction they'd feared it would.

Blitz and Stolas work because they're both fucked up in similar ways, because they want similar things. That's the same reason why they're uniquely designed to hurt one another. A fear of rejection and a yearning for happiness. To borrow a quote that has been used by literally everyone from Spiderman to Evangelical preachers, "hurt people hurt people."

anyway, I really liked this episode.

(twitter thread screenshots sourced from this reddit post)

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wordsinhaled · 2 months

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it was really only a matter of time until edwardian payneland happened and what if i channeled maurice about it. just a little

Charles is the son of the groundskeeper at St. Hilarion's School for Boys while Edwin is a pupil there. And he can't help but notice Edwin—how he’s nearly always alone, or else being harangued by the cruel older boys who call themselves his peers.

Charles privately thinks they hardly seem equal to him in poise or grace or manner. They are boisterous, brash, crass, violent, all overlaid with a veneer of false propriety, but Charles can see the cracks in it. He knows that sort by how they are inside, and they cannot be like Edwin at all. No, Edwin Paine's got a sad, drawn sort of look about him that Charles can't help recognizing. This lonely boy who feels somehow kindred in a way he can't put a finger on, but is pulled to him all the same, though by rights he'd do better to keep his distance.

Edwin often sits by the lake by himself, to read, or to do his assignments in the shade of the trees. Picturesque as a painting, he is. One day Charles dares to approach him, though he knows the risk in it—prepared to be rebuffed, rebuked for his untoward attention to someone he is meant to ignore; but the boy does not turn him away.

And so they become friends. Tentative, and then less and less so.

Together they explore the school's sprawling grounds, all of whose surprising hiding-places Charles Rowland knows by heart, having wandered them himself for years and made them his own refuge. The woods become theirs; the shore by the lake theirs; the shade of the trees theirs. The attic, where no one comes to look for them in the dead of night, also theirs.

And then one day Charles notices a group of boys surrounding Edwin. The usual cadre, and they're posturing, their voices loud in the autumn air. They’ve ripped Edwin's penny magazine from his grip and are tearing pages out of it, scattering them to be plucked up by the wind. Charles can do nothing else but step in. He shouts at them to back off, puts himself between them and Edwin, and gets himself thrashed for his trouble—but they, at least, finally leave Edwin alone.

Edwin, for his part, cannot believe Charles would be so reckless for his sake. Charles has not yet mentioned to him that he is used to this sort of treatment, and sees worse at home. They sit together in the boathouse by the lake, cross-legged, close enough for Edwin to dab carefully at Charles’ split lip and bleeding knuckles.

“You should not have done that for me,” he chides, though it carries no heat. “What will happen now?” He thinks word is sure to get back to the school, and there will be a scandal. Those boys, who so vocally despise Edwin, will hardly be quiet in their outrage, their humiliation. Charles’ father might be relieved of his post, and then Charles’ family will have to leave St. Hilarion’s. That is how these things go.

And what was it all for? For Edwin? How could it have been worth it?

“Doesn’t matter, does it?" Charles is saying, when Edwin surfaces from his troubled thoughts. "Couldn’t let them treat you like that. They had you five to one. And that, just ‘cause you’re different. I know how it is.” Charles’ eyelashes are very long, and the light turns his eyes a warm, deep amber as he talks fiercely, insistently, in defense of Edwin.

It’s terribly forward, Edwin thinks. And, despite every misgiving, he welcomes it. No one has ever fought for Edwin before. No one has ever spoken about him with such conviction.

Then Charles seems to lapse into pensiveness. “You didn’t have to…” he says softly. "All this." He gestures, with the free hand Edwin isn’t busy wrapping up, at the little bottle of antiseptic, the scissors, the roll of bandages and the cloths, all spread out on the floorboards between them.

“Of course I did,” Edwin says.

Really, he had not given it much consideration. He had had only the presence of mind to memorize the sight of Charles kneeling in the dew-damp grass, angry gaze still spitting fire at the backs of Edwin’s retreating bullies. He’d had blood in his bared teeth, and the briefest flash of desire had seared through Edwin—to kiss him. Merely in thanks, perhaps, but still, to kiss him.

He would know the warmth of Charles’ mouth. Fleeting, forbidden, it would sear itself into his mind for ever.

Of course, he had done no such thing; for he could not. Instead, he’d done the only thing he could do—bent low towards Charles, and squeezed his shoulder once, as if to say, Wait here for me. I will come back to you.

And as he'd turned on his heel and gone off in the direction of the infirmary, leaving Charles there with dusk encroaching, Edwin had hoped Charles understood his gesture for the indelible promise it was.

#dbda #dead boy detectives #dead boy detective agency #payneland #oops new 'verse just dropped i guess #i did ZERO rabbithole research for this particular bit but i fear it has consumed my brain and i may have to write more #the weirdest thing is i wrote it while listening to portugal. the man and you know what. it fucking works. it works. just trust me on this #'stop right now take a minute take your time said i'm living all alone inside a dream'#yes they are in the boathouse. yes they are in fact. what of it. yes there will be telegrams. and trysts.#that's me frothing at the mouth. give edwin his edwardian love story!!!

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crypticminx · 9 months

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Hi! I loved ur telling Felix if pregnant fic so could we get a p2? Maby e Felix helping reader a morning sickness. Just fluffy ❤❤

Hi my angel!!! here you go! Xoxo

Pregnancy with Felix ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

AN: part two to my headcanons, very fluffy xoxo

- Felix would grow to be exceedingly close and overbearing of you at all times–all within good reason, of course. You felt incredibly tired? No problem, his usual disorganized bed would be neatly prepped and cozy for you with a cup of tea waiting on his night side table. Morning sickness? He was behind you as you would throw up all of your unpleasant remains from the previous night, holding back your silky hair while he gently circled his palm along your sore arched back in soothing motions

- Felix would favor sleeping in with you even if that foolishly resulted in the ignorant academic missing his first morning class, but you were immensely important to him in comparison to his repetitive lectures. He’d wrap you deeply into his chest, entangling both of your legs and arms to construct some sort of warmth from each of your bare bodies. When you’d finally close your eyes to try and regain your interrupted rest, Felix would slide his hand down to just below your ribs and on your abdomen. Though you were barely showing, he could already feel some sort of connection to what was inside of you and it made him feel affectionately sympathetic. Most of all, it made him cherish you even more and from that moment onward, he was destined to continue to treat you in a way that differentiated him from any other sort of love you had ever received.

- It would be too soon for the two of you to move into Saltburn, a manageable idea Felix came up with on a whim upon the two of you trying to discuss the reality of your soon to be future that included a baby. Felix, who terribly wished he could stay with you to attend to your doting needs at every passing hour of each day, still had his classes to attend. You would carefully decide not to continue any further studies, withdrawing yourself from all your classes. Much to your angry parents dismay as they harshly yelled at you once the whole truth unraveled from your apologetic mouth through the lines of a telephone in an empty hallway. They were far away, convenient enough for you, but hearing their harsh tones of pure disappointment made you mentally feel like you had been hit by a bus; paralyzed with sadness among all your other unwanted hormones. Felix, seeing you shamefully walk back into his room was to the rescue as he tried his best to reassure you. There was nothing more he despised than seeing your pretty little eyes swell with tears that were caused from people who should've been supporting you.

- “Y/n, darling, look at me” he would softly cup your flushed, tear-stained cheeks, “I could pay for your education whenever you'd want me to, y’know?” You only nodded at him, sniffling as you felt yourself trying to keep it together. “In fact,” his dark eyes scanned the room before their full attention was back on you, “what do you say we go get a place together, yeah?”

- Felix was soon to follow in sharing the news with his parents and judging by the huge grin he sported on his gorgeous face after hanging up on the telephone, you knew that their reaction was eons away in contrast to how your folks retaliated. And with everything finally being put into motion, a flat just on the outskirts of where campus was located was hastily granted and approved to you and Felix. “Mum was practically screaming with joy,” Felix admitted as he ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head in the process while his mind painted the image of his mother beaming with delight at the thought of a Catton grandchild.

- You imagined your flat to be cute, cozy and fitting, but this was Felix Catton we were talking about. Opening the doors after receiving the keys to your shared place, you were stunned at how breathtakingly modern and posh the interior was. A large living room accompanied with what seemed to be an extraordinarily comfortable sofa, marble stained countertops in a kitchen that was larger than your previous dorm room all topped together with 4 exquisite bedrooms. It was a strange feeling, not unsettling, but very downright gracious as you could see everything playing out as if it were a movie. Candles would be lit on the dining table, the mouth watering smell of dinner you just prepared would be flowing in the air, and there would be an eager infant placed on your hip waiting to be fed. As you’re about to feed your young, Felix would walk in, looking exhausted from a tiresome day, but happy to see the two most important people in his life.

- “So?” he would interrupt your thoughts as he could see you relishing the moment. “I love it,” you would breathlessly vow before Felix could only respond by lifting you off of your feet and cautiously twirling you around the hardwood floors of your flat.

- As the months would slowly start to progress and evolve into life with Felix, you felt at ease for once and being able to have time granted to you allowed you to focus on yourself and your pregnancy, making everything less complicated. You could take any given moment to rest and let your body prepare itself for your child. Felix would do everything in his strong willed nature to find the best doctors for you, being in attendance for every appointment with you, and always kept himself in line for having access to all of your desires.

- Changes–lots and lots of changes. Watching your stomach slowly swell outwards was fascinating and you had accompanied a new profound sense of gratefulness for yourself. Most of the girls your age would probably die if they had to say goodbye to their wardrobe of short skirts and tube tops, but that didn't matter to you anymore, what did was your baby. Felix, on the other hand, was constantly in a state of awe whenever he was around you. His protective hands were always placed on your bump, caressing it with the utmost care possible, all while extensively praising you. “So so beautiful seeing you like this, my darling,” he'd gently whisper in your ear as you laid on top of his lean body, enjoying the spell he'd put you under that was his touch. “Carrying my baby,” he hushed, kissing the top of your head, his fingers unable to stop themselves from stroking one of your sensitive breasts. “You're only going to get more beautiful.”

- With all the happiness, there were also many challenges that you faced. Feeling extremely emotional more days than others, it was mainly the rare moments that Felix wasn't home or around to embrace you with his devoted presence that made you feel like you were missing out on a chunk of events that you should've been at. Felix rushing in after a late lecture that took more of his daunting time than it should have, he swung by you, only giving you a quick pat of a kiss on your forehead, before he rummaged his tote bag of schoolwork away on an empty counter. “You're in a rush,” you observed as he changed his button down into something that seemed far more relaxed and calm. “Uh yeah,” he hurriedly spat, focussing more on fixing himself up, “Oliver and I were gonna head to the pub with a few of the guys, celebratory post midterm drinks and all that.'' Oh, you tried your hardest not to sound letdown by the fact that you would probably spend the majority of the night alone on the sofa continuing to read a catalog you had zero interest in. Felix wanted to hurdle himself to the front door, but feeling tension in the air that was so strong he could cut it with a knife, he paused and glanced at your face that was slowly becoming struck with sorrow. In response, he slowly padded his feet towards you. “What's wrong?” His tone was relaxed and not full of distraction. You sighed, feeling guilty for stopping him in his tracks, “I just feel like I've been missing out on everything,” you found your mind speaking out loud, too late in stopping yourself from speaking the truth. “I miss going out with you, being carefree and reckless,” you pouted, feeling like a fussy child. “Oh, sweetheart,” he took a seat beside you, “I can assure you’re not missing anything, in fact, I'd rather be with you all the time.” it was true, Felix didn't care for his past ways, he was more occupied in his life with you and he'd never trade that for any sleazy party. He rested a loving hand on your stomach, “this is far more important to me.”

- Felix’s favorite pastime hobby with you would be picking out names for your little one. Dressed in nothing but cozy knee high socks and an oversized T-shirt, courtesy of Felix, you would lay a journal just above your bump as your attentive ears would listen to all the ideas sprouting from Felix, smiling as his quick mind came up with more suggestions. “Genevieve for a girl?” he gave you a weary smile, not feeling too confident. “It's beautiful, but too posh and old, no? He chuckled, “mum would have a field day with that one,” he exaggerated his expression, raising his pierced eyebrow before rolling his smitten eyes. “So that's a no, I presume,” you giggled as you crossed it out with your pen.

- Your shared moments that were filled with ambience of love were your favorite times. Soaking every ounce of alone time you could get with Felix because before you knew it, the simple times would turn into long sleepless nights—and not the ones you favored the most with him. Felix would run a bath filled with relaxing salts for you to lay in as he would wash your locks and all parts of your body for you, letting his hands do the work as your head would tilt back in ease, letting all your soreness peacefully exit. The moments spent in bed mainly included Felix resting his head on your bump, freely talking to your child as his voice carried you to sleep. “I love you and your mum so much,” he kissed your bare skin with his soft lips, hoping not to stir you out of sleep, “daddy cannot wait to meet you.”

#felix catton #felix catton x reader #felix catton x y/n #felix catton x you #jacob elordi #saltburn #saltburn 2023 #oliver quick #jacob elordi x reader #dad! felix catton #Felix Catton x pregnant reader

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heartlilith · 11 months

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Self Care

Self Care for the signs; use your moon sign & house placement (transit moon and house placement work as well, you can even use your venus sign if you're feeling up to it)

*TW: mental health disorders are talked about throughout

ARIES MOON/ARIES VENUS/1H MOON/1H VENUS: For these natives, I imagine a lot of energy swirling around the head and face. Stress can lead to overthinking, headaches, acne breakouts, and in more serious cases; vertigo, migraines, and hair loss. Exercise can really help these placements dispense of all the extra energy. It doesn't have to be something intense like body building or running miles (although it can be), it can be as simple as walking in nature or playing a sport with friends. Playing catch with your dog or playing a game of basketball. Other than exercise, Aries and 1st house placements can benefit from a spa day; whether at an actual spa or at home doing a skin care routine and a face mask. Guided meditation is great for these placements too in order to quiet the mind chatter. One last simple thing these natives can practice is turning off their phone for an hour a day; they're so involved in the world around them and sometimes that's a good thing but other times it can be very draining. Tune out the world and tune into your body.

TAURUS MOON/TAURUS VENUS/2H MOON/2H VENUS: Stressed out Taurus and 2nd house placements can struggle with their self esteem whether that shows up as arrogance or insecurity (Moon and Venus here can signify fluctuating self esteem). They also tend to hold a lot of stress in their shoulders creating soreness or even bad posture. Extreme stress can cause these natives to either withhold or indulge in things; usually in terms of food, money, or material possessions. This can lead to disordered eating, stinginess, overspending or possessiveness over their belongings, they do this to feel a sense of control in the midst of chaos. Taurus/2nd house placements would benefit from a massage either at a spa or from a loved one. Since the 2nd house rules over material possessions it's important for these people to reconnect with their element; Earth. Connecting with the Earth can look like gardening or caring for house plants, playing with animals, a simple walk outside, or nourishing their body with fresh fruits and vegetables. Since the 2nd house and Venus rules all things pleasurable, playing up the senses can really benefit these natives. Soft blankets, nice smelling candles or aromatherapy, listening to relaxing music, eating sweets or drinking warm tea are all things these placements can do to relax.

GEMINI MOON/GEMINI VENUS/3H MOON/3H VENUS: Gemini and 3rd house placements are very efficient people, normally. They are great multitaskers and great socializers. Stress with these placements usually shows up mentally at first then it starts to effect them physically. Their body is directly effected by their emotions, like Virgo. Stress can show up as restlessness, anxiety, shakiness or in more serious cases; anxiety attacks, becoming withdrawn, and dermatillomania (Gemini rules hands). In order for these natives to relax, they must take their air energy and create something tangible with it. Journaling is a great way to do this, also painting or blogging. Since Gemini rules the hands, a lot of stress can be relieved by keeping them busy. Knitting, crocheting, video games, playing instruments (double points if these activities connect the brain and hands in some way). Gemini and 3h placements would also benefit from breathing exercises, reading nonfiction books (Geminis love to learn), or even just venting about their problems to a trusted friend.

CANCER MOON/CANCER VENUS/4H MOON/4H VENUS: For people with Cancer or 4th house placements, stress can show up primarily through emotions (surprising I know). Cancer feels all the feels, good or bad. Stress can show up and create sadness, anger, anxiety, pessimistic behavior and being on edge. In worse cases; depression, an anxiety disorder, and rumination. In terms of self care, it's important for Cancer/4th house placements to get in touch with their inner child. This can be achieved by spending time with children, looking back at photos with happy memories, blowing bubbles, watching their favorite children's movie or eating their favorite meal growing up. Since the 4th house also rules family, spending time with blood or chosen relatives is important too (even pets!). Since Cancer is a water sign, taking a bath and staying hydrated are great forms of self care for these individuals. To cater to their nurturing side, taking care of someone else (a relative, loved one, a pet, even a plant) can help them forget their own problems which is great but if this is the only thing they do it can create a habit of avoidance to their own problems. One last thing Cancer/4th house placements can do for self care is cook themselves a hardy meal since Cancer rules the stomach and because, well, they deserve it.

LEO MOON/LEO VENUS/5H MOON/5H VENUS: For Leo and 5th house natives, stress can show up and drain these peoples' sunny disposition; like clouds covering the Sun. Stress can lead to them becoming uninspired, unmotivated, lazy and even bitter. In more extreme cases, Leo/5th house placements can slip into depression, ice out loved ones and hobbies, and become unsure of themselves - which leads to a lowering of self esteem and makes them second guess who they are. High blood pressure and heart palpitations isn't uncommon when these people deal with extreme stress over a long period of time. In order to relieve this stress, Leo/5th house placements can benefit from acupuncture or cupping (Leo rules the back and spine), a massage, or even reiki as a form of self care in order to move their stagnant energy around. Exploring somewhere new, going to an art museum, or going out with friends to a party or out to eat can inspire these natives and get them motivated to create again. Other forms of self care for Leo/5th house placements is reciting affirmations in the mirror daily, affirmations they know to be true about themselves. Pampering themselves in some way can boost their self esteem; whether that be getting their hair done, going shopping, or treating themselves to their favorite meal. Practicing self care for these natives is extremely important in order to keep their sun shining.

VIRGO MOON/VIRGO VENUS/6H MOON/6H VENUS: Virgo, virgo, virgo, always worrying your pretty little head off. I can say this btw I'm a Virgo moon and know this all too well. This goes for 6th House placements too, they are the busy bodies of the zodiac. Like Gemini and 3rd house placements, Virgo and 6th house placements feel stress mentally first and then physically. Stress can make them physically ill; stomach aches especially. When these natives are stressed, it shows up physically as digestive issues, stomach aches, disordered eating and even skin picking (dermatillomania). Mentally, these people can become cold and short with others. Virgo and 6th house placements can also become reactive to situations and look at things quite negatively. In my opinion, it's hard for Virgos and 6th house placements to get in the habit of self care since they are very sacrificial and put people before themselves. They also have a million and one things to do and want to get them done or else they can't relax. Self care for these people should be activities where they can unwind while still feeling productive. Exercise in any form is great for these natives because they love health and wellness. Yoga in all forms is PERFECT for Virgo/6th house placements since they're the epitome of mind, body, and soul (what effects their mind, effects their body, and then effects their soul). One last self care activity for these people is reading a book. Learning and relaxing? A Virgo/6th house placement's DREAM.

LIBRA MOON/LIBRA VENUS/7H MOON/7H VENUS: Libra and 7th house placements become stressed when things aren't harmonious. Relationships, work, their health - if it's not balanced, they really feel it. Stress for these people can show up as acne breakouts, becoming unmotivated, neglecting their physical appearance, and passive aggressiveness. In more extreme cases, these individuals can isolate themselves, be on the verge of tears all the time, and become volatile. Self care comes in the form of facials, baths, getting dressed up for a date. Libra/7th house placements want to look and feel good. Buying gifts for themselves or receiving gifts (big or small); especially clothes, makeup, skincare products, hair care, jewelry, candles, etc. Like Taurus/2nd house placements, they like things that satisfying their senses. Other forms of self care for these natives are spending time or talking one-on-one with a friend, family member, or partner whether that's for receiving advice, venting, or simply distracting them from their issues.

SCORPIO MOON/SCORPIO VENUS/8H MOON/8H VENUS: Scorpio/8th house placements feel stressed when they're lacking connection; emotional, physical, mental or spiritual. They might not like to admit it but they need a shoulder to cry on too. These people are also prone to mood swings so sometimes it's hard to pinpoint why they're feeling the way they do. These natives feel emotions strongly, just like the other water signs and house placements. Stress can show up as a low libido, dark eye circles from lack of sleep, and anger that comes on fast. In more extreme cases, they can experience depression, intrusive thoughts, and develop phobias. In order for Scorpio/8th house natives to relax, they need to channel their emotional energy. This can be hard, especially because sometimes they don't even know what's wrong or what exactly is stressing them out. Writing, painting, sculpting, any form of art is extremely beneficial to these people because even if they can't put a finger on why they're feeling a certain way, they can still express it in other ways. Other forms of self care can include taking a shower, swimming, taking a bath - anything that connects them back to their element. Having sex, reinventing themselves through dying their hair or changing up their wardrobe, and even witchcraft can help them incredibly. Diving into taboos and embracing them can do wonders for these people.

SAGITTARIUS MOON/SAGITTARIUS VENUS/9H MOON/9H VENUS: Do Sag placements even get stressed out..? Just kidding of course they do! These natives become stressed when they feel trapped, bored, and stagnant. You can always tell when they feel a certain way because they will tell you, bluntly and unapologetically. Sagittarius/9th house placement's symptoms of stress is restlessness, becoming impulsive, and being straight up mean. These placements need stimulation and will do things, good or bad, to get it. Self care comes in forms of traveling, learning, and winning. Whether down the street or to a different country, these natives benefit from exploring somewhere new. To them self care is indulging in their wants, and they WANT to explore new places and learn new things. Eating their favorite country's cuisine, going to a new place (a store or a park or a vacation), or reading a book are all forms of self care for them. Sagittarius/9th house placements would even benefit from planning a vacation even if they never take it. Other forms of self care for these individuals is playing board games or sports with friends, gambling (in moderation), eating good food, having a few drinks, throwing a party. They need to indulge, just a little bit.

CAPRICORN MOON/CAPRICORN VENUS/10H MOON/10H VENUS: These natives will never let you know that they're stressed out because they can handle it, they can handle anything and everything all the time, right? NO, but they want to be able to which creates more stress - they literally stress about stress. For them, stress can show up as feeling tightness and soreness in their body, lack of sleep, and disordered eating from trying to gain a sense of control. In extreme cases they will throw themselves into work because they can't feel the stress if they're distracted... this leads to endless problems which, guess what... leads to MORE STRESS. Capricorns/10h placements, take a day off. The world will still go on if you rest. Other than that, these natives benefit from stretching, yoga, meditation, a nice hot bath or shower. They need to slow their roll. One self care activity that benefits them the most is laughing; funny movies, seeing a comedy show, playing with their kids or telling funny stories are all things that can remind them that play is just as important as work. Have fun you guys, you deserve it the most.

AQUARIUS MOON/AQUARIUS VENUS/11H MOON/11H VENUS: Similar to Capricorn/10th house placements, you guys have a good poker face when it comes to being stressed out. What's different though is that instead of throwing yourself into work, you fake a smile until you're all alone... that's when the symptoms of stress take over. Anxiety, loneliness, sadness are all things these people experience when stressed out. They have plenty of friends and support systems but no really gets them, at least that's how they feel. In extreme cases, Aquarius/11th house placements can experience depression, depersonalization, and feeling more and more alienated and different than everyone else. Self care for these people includes meditation, journaling, walking barefoot outside, even hugging a damn tree - anything that pulls them back down to Earth. Planning a day with friends or loved ones to do something spontaneous or adventurous can really help these people. They need to get out of the "box" they put themselves in. Other forms of self care include things that are wild, fun, and get the blood pumping; playing paintball, video games, snowball/water balloon fight, pranks, partying and letting loose with your friends, and creating silly YouTube videos. The best self care for them is connecting with like minded people and having stimulating conversations or doing things that are crazy and silly.

PISCES MOON/PISCES VENUS/12H MOON/12H VENUS: When these natives feel stress, like Cancer/4th house placements, it comes in the form of emotions. Sadness, passive aggressiveness, and even shutting down emotionally in order to not feel anything at all. Pisces/12th house placements feel things so strongly and on every level - so for them, it's better to shut the emotions off because that's easier than dealing with it head on. But, those suppressed feelings will always come back to bite them. Stress shows up as lack of faith and trust, the inability to focus and stop daydreaming, and mood swings. Since the 12th house rules the subconscious mind, sometimes they don't realize why they feel stressed or unbalanced, like Scorpio/8th house placements. These individuals benefit from swimming, visiting a body of water, jumping in a puddle, or even going outside to feel the rain in order to reconnect with their element. Anything art; painting, sculpting, knitting, singing, creating is probably the best thing they can do to channel emotions. I always joke and say Pisces/12th house placements love "old lady activities" but I think it's true. Knitting, playing bingo, spending time with children, baking are all things that can really help them. Other than that, self care for these natives can be as simple as taking a nap to tune out the world. Or giving yourself alone time in a judgmental free place to do what you want. I think the theme here is to tune out the world and tune into yourself, however you can achieve that.

*Note: No placement in astrology is exempt from experiencing mental health disorders, just because I didn't mention it for every sign doesn't mean it can't happen to them, it can. If anyone ever needs someone to talk to, my ask box is always open.

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love-byers · 3 months

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(warning: long)

we should talk more about mikes choice of words in the rink o mania fight, or rather the writers choice of words

"You basically sabotaged the whole day!!"

sabotage

in case you need a reminder of what sabotage means

deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct

mike is not just saying will was being a douche for moping, rolling his eyes, and barely talking. he's saying wills a douche because he's doing it on purpose. not even just on purpose either, he's saying will planned this. will wanted to ruin the day. mike thinks will was out to get him by withholding his friendship. obviously will wasn't doing any of this, he just moped because he felt brushed off by mike and was ignored (or so he thought).

that kind of behavior, thinking the consequences of his own actions are a planned attack against him, is very consistent with the way he acted in s3 when el dumped him and he blamed it on max.

we can connect this directly to mike's apology where he calls himself a self-pitying idiot. the self-pity is mike allowing himself to believe it's not his fault that his day sucked, that it's not his fault will is acting this way. deep down he knows it's his own fault by purposefully brushing will off at the airport, but he was being so self-absorbed and self-pitying that he convinced himself it wasn't.

"why is this on me?? why am i the bad guy??"

so lets go through this again, inferring from mike's own words.

when will left hawkins, he felt weird. he'd just spent the whole summer trying to be grown up and acting like he didn't care about dnd anymore, shutting will down and really hurting him in the process, so he probably feels embarrassed that he now feels the exact opposite. he enjoyed spending time with max, lucas, and dustin but it just wasn't the same without will. he missed will so badly that the fact that will was barely reaching out got to his head, and he felt too insecure to find out for himself. he didn't know if will felt the same way or if he was doing fine without mike, making lots of new friends and enjoying life. he was afraid he'd lost will. then here comes el with her letters saying how life is awesome and they have lots of friends. mike probably thought, oh now i'm DEFINITELY not telling him how i feel. the letter about will potentially liking a girl was the final straw. wow. so he's occupied with some girl and thats why he won't talk to me. so now mikes determined to not give will an inkling of an idea that he's bothered or that he cares. psh, mike could care less. maybe when will sees that mike totally doesn't care he'll feel like he screwed up and he'll be super nice to compensate and win mike back.

so mike gets to lenora and hey, will, i totally don't care about seeing you, see how i dodged your hug? i don't care. then he sees the painting. maybe it's not for someone he likes, maybe it's for me. here you go will, opportunity one to win back my affection.

"Uh, what's that?"

"Um, it's nothing, it's just this painting I've been working on."

"Cool."

operation-act like i don't care: EEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FAILED.

LOOK at his face bro. he looks heartbroken.

from here on mike just got more and more annoyed. will isn't trying to win him back, he isn't compensating for the months of silence. he's acting sad. he's acting sad? he has the audacity to act sad after he made all these friends and left me behind?? no, this is not my fault, this is not on me. it gets under his skin in a way he can't ignore. those feelings of guilt and annoyance that will is causing mixed with his months worth of self pity and convincing himself he's not the problem leads him to another thought. he's doing this on purpose. he's punishing me. this was his plan all along. he's trying to ruin my day for no reason, because i clearly didn't do anything to deserve this.

then angela shows up and humiliates el and mike, for some insane reason, uses this as an excuse to express his anger to will, even though it had literally nothing to do with will.

"You should've told me she was having trouble."

"Well, I didn't know they were gonna be here, Mike."

"Yeah, but you knew she was having trouble for like a year and didn't tell me."

in WHAT world is this will's fault?? he had absolutely no idea el was lying until that day. and mike is blaming him? no, he's really not, he just wants a reason to express his anger without having to admit why he's angry.

"Well, I didn't know she was lying to you."

"Is that why you decided to be a douche to her all day?"

her. he's hiding behind el's name. psh, what? i don't care that you weren't talking to me, it's because of el.

el just got publicly humiliated and mike thinks now is the time to get on will and act like el's biggest problem was will not talking to her?? no way. he just doesn't want will to know that these are his feelings.

"I wasn't being a douche!"

this completely sets mike off. how dare will act all innocent after what he did to me all day? any part of him that was trying to hide that will's behavior is bothering him has been completely overridden. will purposefully withholding his attention from mike has pissed him off soooooo badly that he can't keep it to himself anymore or hide behind el.

"You were! You were! You were rolling your eyes, you were moping, you were barely talking you basically sabotaged the whole day!"

yup, thats right will. i know exactly what you're doing and i'm calling you out on it.

"Well she was lying to you, Mike! Straight to your face ever since you got here! And...and I've been a total third wheel all day it's been miserable. So sorry if I wasn't...if i wasn't smiling."

third wheel? really?

"Yeah, whatever man."

"Well what about us?"

"What?"

i imagine this is where mike shits himself. i mean he literally stops in his tracks. will is directly addressing what he'd been trying to hide his care for the whole time, them. all of a sudden after all these months, he cares about us? and it's poking at that weird feeling he had, like he missed will too much. like he was feeling too much.

"What, you're mad that I didn't talk to you? Seems like you've made it super clear you're not interested in anything I have to say."

"That's just not true."

mike says that so fast it's like a knee-jerk reaction. of course he cares what will has to say. all he's wanted all day, and all this time for that matter, was for will to talk to him. and will is blaming him?

"You called maybe a couple times. It's been a year, Mike. Meanwhile El has like a book of letters from you."

now mike's defense is kicking in. he feels like will is directly picking at that feeling. the weirdness. the fact that he feels differently for will than the rest of his friends, even his girlfriend.

"That's because she's my girlfriend, Will!"

"And us?"

now the alarms are going off. he knows something. "us" for will in this moment is just their friendship. "us" for mike is something more, because that's what's been brewing in him the whole time they've been apart. internalized homophobia in 3..2..

"We're friends! We're. Friends."

"Well, we used to be best friends!"

oh. he was just talking about our friendship. i was tweaking a little bit. and...ouch. will just officially said they aren't best friends anymore. and he's blaming it on mike. but mikes defenses are still up high.

"Well...well maybe you should've reached out more, I don't know! But why is this on me? Why am I the bad guy?!"

then will is lost for words, and he just look sad. and as mad as mike is, he hates seeing will that way.

i imagine the day or two between this and his apology, mike went over this fight in his mind multiple times. and the more he thought about it, the more he realizes, ah shit. i was way too in my head and this was completely one sided. will wasn't plotting against me, i just felt so bad for myself i convinced myself i did nothing wrong. all this because i thought he found new friends and i felt bad for myself. and now i've lost my best friend and made him feel like all of it is his fault. i have to let him know it's all on me.

tldr: mike is weird and gay.

#stranger things #byler #will byers #mike wheeler #byler endgame #byler analysis #stranger things 4

384 notes · View notes

yaut-jaknowit · 30 days

Note

Okay!

Gawtin x female reader

Reader doesn’t have the best experiences with flames, due to a accident, somehow their home manages to catch on fire, while Gawtin was away, and reader risks her life it to protect the little one, gaining a bad burn mark in the end

(I don’t remember Gawtin Childs name 😥)

Fighting the Impossible

Pairings: Gawtin (Female Yautja) x AFAB!Reader

Word Count: 2864

Summary: A day like any other. Gawtin is out during a hunt for dinner. You are left with Qui'oky and happily watch over the little one in your care. Yet, when danger strikes, your worst enemy, you have to act. Fast.

Author Note: My inbox has already gotten pretty full! I'm going to try to knock some out this weekend since I do have it off. I can't believe you forgot about little Qui'oky! Such a sweetie! (I'm just joking! I'm having to have things written down to remember somethings in my stories now. There's so much going on now!)

P.s. It's my birthday! I'm one year older. Yay! (I got called old by the teenagers at work a couple of days ago. I'm sad now.)

Masterlist

Ao3

One thing about living on an alien planet with a different atmosphere is the weather. The jungle takes up a vast majority of Yautja Prime. It spans on this continent from ocean to ocean practically. With the jungle, comes varying weather. Like now.

A lightning storm had sudden sprouted to life an hour after Gawtin had left. This was nothing new. Plenty of storms have rolled through with little issues. The cottage like house was built sturdy, just like a Yautja. It has held for plenty of years. There was no reason to fret.

Qui’oky waddled around the house, chasing something imaginary. Similar to human children, they have an imaginary mind. It was adorable while the little one played in his own mind, making things up as he went. He would babble in Yautja. You tried to listen to the words but only a mother could understand what he was saying.

A gentle smile graced your features when the child came racing around the corner. You had to catch him before he ran straight into your knees. “Whoa, kiddo!” You picked up Qui’oky and sat him down on your hip. “What’s happening, Oky?” The toddler blabbered the same nonsense before and reached for your face.

With his arms open, you dive into his chest and blow raspberries. He squeals and writhes in your grasp. You keep it up until your lungs are out of air. Then, he’s set back down on the ground. Qui’oky looked at you for a moment before returning his fully sprint waddle around the main area of the house. You laughed to yourself and shook your head. The kid was adorable, it was hard not to.

You walked into the kitchen and pulled some dried meat. Gawtin has told you the name of the creature before. After so many different names of the Yautja species, it was starting to remember which was which. Yautja Prime was extremely diverse with so many subspecies and whatnot. Don’t get you started on the ocean itself.

The meat was delicious. Gawtin is a great cook and loves to pamper with whatever is the catch for the week or day. You find yourself in the living room again, on a spacious couch meant for a Yautja, not a human. A very light, breathable blanket was pulled onto your lap. It would be too hot for a normal blanket.

A sketch pad and pencil were pulled onto your lap as well. After a long day of reading and drawing, you decided the best way to treat yourself is to… draw some more. With snacks, of course. You hum away, pencil in hands, as you planned out a painting to defeat the next you were feeling it.

Ideas poured out onto the page. The storm outside only grew worse and worse. Trees shuttered and groan with powerful gusts against window. Sheets of rain battered the windows, attempting to break down the glass. In the house that Gawtin built long ago, it stood mighty strong, like the Yautja herself.

Thunder cracked like a whip outside and caused the walls to tremble and shake. You jolted at the first sounds of the storm. Qui’oky stopped his running and glanced over at you, gauging your reaction. Like Gawtin has taught you, you steeled your nerves immediately. A strong façade falling upon your features the second he looked at you. You weren’t scared of the storm but if he saw you jump, he’ll follow in your footsteps. To be a strong hunter, that was a bad trait.

Hesitantly, Oky started up his run again. His bright blue eyes were on you for a few more seconds before he fully focused on whatever played in his mind. You were more than relieved. If he had started to cry, it wouldn’t be until Gawtin returned from her hunt that he would quiet down. Gawtin says he’s spoiled because of you. She does little to stop you though. Maybe a little human in him won’t hurt. It could make him into a better hunter in the end.

When another roar of thunder rolled through the jungle, you were more prepared for it. Oky’s blue gaze snapped over to you but found you undisturbed, eating at the jerky. He was quicker to return to his game. You continued to doddle away through your sketch book. Different eyes popping in your mind.

All these ideas have been boiling for some time. You had lost the motivation to draw as of late. Today, it feels like the switch had been flipped.

As the page filled, more cracks and roars filled the electrified air. Your nervousness entered the air as well. Gawtin was out there, baring the brunt of the storm. The hunt had to have been cancelled. No animal would stay out in this kind of weather. No matter what creature on this planet.

The end of your pencil was covered in bite marks. Your focus drifted off of the current page to gaze out one of the windows.

Being this far inland, you don’t believe this was hurricane. The weather was ferocious but it was unheard of a hurricane or tropical storm to get this far into the jungle. You continued to gnaw on the eraser while your eyes tracked the weather.

Some time later, close to nightfall, the rain finally relented. That’s when Oky climbed up next to you on the couch and snuggled against your side. The sweet child chittered and yawned. His own day had been long and tiring. Those imaginary friends won’t chase themselves.

All the hairs on the back of your neck rose. Your stomach dropped to the floor. An instinct Gawtin helped hone blared a loud alarm. You were on your feet and hauled the child with you the moment it happened. Your gaze pinned on a window. Something was wrong.

Qui’oky whined and writhed in your grasp, demanding to be put down. The parent instinct in your to protect the child bared its head. You held onto him tightly, still watching closely.

Smoke. White smoke. Barely visible with the dying suns. But you always know the signs of smoke, the signs of a fire.

You were rooted to the spot, breath caught in your throat. It took Oky’s claws into your arm to get your attention.

Fire!

The only thing on your mind was to run. Protect the child. You tightened your arms around Oky and began to sprint towards the door. It was ripped open, slamming into the hidden pocket with a loud bang. You were out of the dwelling the very next second, forcing yourself to dash out of there.

In the air, the heavy smell of smoke was pungent. It took everything in you not to freeze on the spot. Memories flashed behind your eyes, reminding you how deadly a fire could be. You knew the dangers of what a fire could do.

That day, you had lost everything. Everything.

Today, you wouldn’t allow harm to touch Oky.

Qui’oky was heavy. The two year old was bigger than a human toddler. At least a foot taller and thirty pounds heavier. The adrenaline in your veins was powerful. It pushed you past your limits as tree flew past you. Foliage was nothing but a green blur in your vision. All you knew was to get away.

Bziut-ty’s small cottage came into view. You were on the verge of skidding to a stop to make sure Gawtin’s sister wasn’t inside when you spotted her form ahead of you on the trail. The older Yautja’s eyes found yours, relief flooding them. She had been helping another person in the village. Two children were hanging off of her hips.

The large female motioned with her head to follow her. You instantly race up to her, already panting.

“Where’s Gawtin?” she demands and glances over your head, finding no one following you. Gawtin’s home was the furthest from the main area of the village.

“She was out hunting,” you panted and lugged Oky back up further on your side. Your head turned back towards where the plumes of smoke were towering over the massive trees. Trees that easily rivaled the red woods back on your home planet.

Your heart dropped. The bright light of fire was gaining as the wind pushed it into your direction. You could’ve broken down at the sight. A sight that haunted your dreams and waking hours. You stumbled backwards and accidently bumped into Bziut-ty.

The brown female grunted. A dark look passed over her features. You hadn’t thought about it besides the fire. But, you trusted Gawtin. She’s skilled. This jungle is where she grew up in. There’s plenty of lakes and rivers for her to take shelter in. You had to trust in her to save herself while you did the same thing with her child.

“She’ll be fine,” you reassured Bziut-ty or else you’ll drag yourself down.

Bziut-ty’s bright eyes looked down at you. The Yautja nodded her head. She, too, knew Gawtin had the skills needed to survive the wildfire.

“We are heading to the lake. Follow us.” With that, she turned and began to race down the trail again. There were no other Yautjas. It was just the five of you. The three children, Bziut-ty, and yourself. Everyone else had already made their escape.

The lake that Bziut-ty talked about isn’t far from the village. It’s where mothers would take their young so they could learn to swim. It’s plenty large to hold everyone in the village in case of situations like this. You knew where it was. So, you followed a well known path, easily paved from thousands upon thousands walking through here.

Your heart raced, thundering in your ears with each step you took. Oky continued to get heavier and heavier, dragging you down. Bziut-ty was lost from sight, blending into the tree line. You couldn’t blame her. She had two children to look after. They may not be her own, but they where her responsibility.

One look over your shoulder had the world’s end nearing. Your jaw dropped at the sight. The fire! It was licking at your heels. The wind feeding it more and more. You gasped and tried to quicken your speed but the energy in your body was coming to an end. Sobs left your lips. Life as you know it would be gone. It would be you this time to meet your end in a fiery way.

When the path began to curve, you were forced to continue forward. Your feet left the safety of the trail. The unforgiving ground of the forest was harsh on your bare feet. Somehow, you find it in yourself to push forward.

Heat lashed at your back. The fire never leaving you alone. It was like it came back with a vengeance. It hadn’t gotten you that night and now it was back. Ready to consume you.

This couldn’t be. Your lungs gulped down the receding oxygen in the air. Each breath getting harder to consume. Your head felt light. The little oxygen your body already fought for in the atmosphere was disappearing. But, you kept running, kept fighting. You may not be a warrior but you can still fight.

Ahead of you, you noticed a fallen tree. A young one of the massive trees that made up the jungle. The center hollowed out. That was your only hope. Your speed didn’t change. It felt like it was faltering, allowing for the fire to catch up. You pushed passed the ache in your bones, the need to stop and catch your breath. There wasn’t a chance to.

The log grew closer. You cradled Oky in one, tired arm and dove into the space barely big enough to fit the two of you. You shove Oky in front of you and forced him into the tight space.

Splinters shoved into your skin with each shuffle further into the log. You bite down the pain. Pain was fine. It meant you were still alive, still fighting not only for you life but for Oky’s as well. The poor toddler was sobbing due to your rough handling and the splinters that were intruding into his flesh as well.

His cries didn’t die out. He was alive. He was okay. He has to be. You wouldn’t allow the fire take anymore. It could take the house. That can be rebuilt. But you won’t let it take Gawtin or Oky from you. No more.

As the fire roared over you, your felt the sweltering heat lick at your back. The inside of the log barely able to protect you from the embers following you. It made it hard to breath. You were on the verge of passing out. The lack of oxygen finally catching up. Your body could no longer fight.

A stinging burn on your back is the first thing you awoke to. You hissed and squirmed only to freak out when there was limited space. Your eyes snapped open to find the space dark, barely any light filtering in behind you. Through the darkness, you spotted a familiar form softly napping. Your fingers brushed against his cheek. He was alive.

Relief flooded you. You sagged in your sitting position and started to sob. The fire. It hadn’t won this time.

The worst of it was over but now, you had to get out of here. You patted at Oky’s cheek until his eyes fluttered open. “Hey, sweetie. We need to move. Your mom is probably out looking for us.” If she survived.

No. She had to. You couldn’t lost her too.

Oky groaned and weakly sat up. “Mama?” he babbled in Yautja. You nodded your head with a timid smile. “I hungy.” A light snort escaped you. Food was the last thing on your mind.

The two of your began to crawl backwards. Both your knees and elbows ached terribly. Splinters had made their way into your skin. It hurt to move. All you wanted to do was pass out again but you forced yourself to stand up on the outside of the log.

Destruction met your vision. The jungle around you was ash, black and white. It was dead silent, as the jungle mourned over the loss of its lush green foliage and towering trees. You glanced up to find the tops of the trees mostly fine. Some were lucky, others weren’t.

Oky stopped on the edge of the log to find the same sight. “Oh no,” he muttered and looked he was about to sob again. His home had been wiped out in a single night. You solemnly scooped the kid up and hoisted him onto your hip. He felt heavier than ever. But the ground… you didn’t know if there still hotspots. You would happily take the burn over him.

Both of you started the long trip back home. Your heart directed you where to go as if it knew where the ashes of your home once laid. You could cry at the sight.

When you reached the outskirt of the village, you saw the burnt down homes of families or other Yautjas. You noticed some of them had come back to salvage what they could. None of them you knew personally. So, you continued on, pushing towards the last house on the trail.

Bziut-ty’s home was gone, just like the rest. The female hadn’t been one of the ones to stand outside of her lost house. She survived. She had to.

It wasn’t much longer until you came upon the ashes of a place you once called home. There, on path right before the house, stood an all too familiar form. Your legs nearly faulted underneath you, staggering only a few more feet before they gave out.

Pain shot through you. Every injury on your body jerking from the fall. A broken cry left your lips. Tears clawed at your eyes and fell down your cheeks, leaving behind sticky trails.

Gawtin’s head snapped over at you. Then, the green giant was upon you in a moment’s notice. She knelt down in front of you, hands cupping your dirty cheeks. Her mandibles move quickly, chittering to you and Oky. You weakly offer her child to her, your arms ready to give out. There was no need to be strong anymore. Not with Gawtin right in front of you to carry you.

You cried. Hard. The pain. From your home turned into ashes before your very eyes, to the burns that stung on your back, to the splinters embedded into your skin. You placed a hand on her thigh to lean on her, sobbing uncontrollable. Gawtin scooped your up in her free arm and held you close to.

Purrs poured from her throat. “It is okay, little artist. You are okay. You both are,” she soothed in deep rumble of a voice. Your arms shook as your wrapped them around her neck, securing yourself to her. She lifted you a little higher with her arm under you and tugged closer as well.

Everyone was alive. Everything will be okay. Homes could be rebuilt. People lost couldn’t. Your family was okay.

#yautja #predator #yautja x reader #yautja x you #alien vs predator #predator x reader #yautja x human #predator x you #predator x human #x reader #Gawtin #Qui'oky

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elusive-writer · 2 years

Text

𝘈𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘯𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘴

(GN! Reader)

I got this idea very randomly so I thought why the hell not 🤭

Word count : 671

✩ 𝘑𝘰𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘰 𝘒𝘶𝘫𝘰 ✩

Yeah no, you’re gonna have a hell of time tryna convince this man to let you paint his nails.

Be prepared to beg and bargain cause that is the only way you even have a CHANCE of changing his mind.

When he begrudgingly agrees to letting you paint his nails, (after you agree to buy his cigarettes for the remainder of the trip) he only lets you paint them black.

Maybe with a small star on the middle finger if you’re lucky 😌

(he won’t admit it, but he likes the way you hold his hands as you work 🤭)

Once you’re finished, he’ll glance at your handiwork before muttering an “it’s alright…”

actually really likes it

Will absolutely chip the nail polish on purpose so you’ll re-paint his nails.

And will absolutely deny it if you call him out on it.

✩ 𝘕𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘬𝘪 𝘒𝘢𝘬𝘺𝘰𝘪𝘯 ✩

Will probably be a little hesitant at first.

But after some minor convincing he just says fuck it.

And of course, a nice cherry red is the obvious choice to go.

After you’re finished tho he is LIVING for it.

He swears it’s given him like a power boost or something.

He feels fucking POWERFUL.

Insists that you let him paint yours now.

(he’s an artist so it’s obvi gonna be amazing)

Once he’s finished, you best believe he’s gonna want to show off to all the other crusaders.

and also convince them to paint their nails as well dkdkdjdjdk

Y’all would have a lot of fun with this.

✩ 𝘑𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘗𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘦 𝘗𝘰𝘭𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘧 ✩

It’s you that’s asking, of course he’d let you paint his nails!

“For you mon amour, anything 😉”

He would let you do ANYTHING to him.

ahem ahem anything

ANYWAY

Would probably ask for silver because ya know… silver chariot.

But I could see him being convinced into doing a pale blue.

Or whatever your favourite colour is.

(is he easy, or can he just not decide? I honestly don’t know)

Another one that feels on top of the world once you’re finished.

Will also insist on letting him paint your nails.

The result is…. most definitely something.

you don’t say anything to spare his feelings

Will gate keep you from the others.

Can’t have HIS nail tech getting stolen 😤

✩ 𝘔𝘶𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘥 𝘈𝘷𝘥𝘰𝘭 ✩

He’s a little taken aback by your request.

But you’ve proven yourself a reliable companion throughout this journey so he trusts you.

Could def see him going with a fiery orange.

Or a nice gold that compliments his jewellery.

BUT OH MY GOSH IMAGINE HIM WITH WHITE NAIL POLISH?!?

sorry, getting carried away

Finds the overall experience to be extremely relaxing.

Between the feeling of your hands and the way you subconsciously hum as you paint almost has him falling asleep.

Is honestly a little sad when it’s over.

Likes the look of the polish more than he expected.

Will be a little shy to ask for you to do this in the future but if you offer, he will happily oblige.

✩ 𝘑𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘱𝘩 𝘑𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳 ✩

Oh my god don’t even get me started.

He is ASTRONOMICALLY down for this idea.

Bitch, he’s probably the one who suggested it when he saw you painting yours.

queue tequila joseph

You better believe he’s going for a bright ass pink.

His confidence to through the fucking roof and life is too short. Bring that pink polish NEOWWW.

Is one of those ppl that cannot sit still for the life of him.

You have to constantly tell him to sit the fuck down so that you’re not painting the entirety of his hand.

Once you’re finished he’s like a peacock.

🦚🦚

Constantly bragging, showing off… THE WORKS MAN.

might even bust out the old dress if he’s feeling especially bold dkdkdjd

Is absolutely gonna ask you to do this again in the future.

#✩ stardust crusaders ✩#stardust crusaders x reader #jjba x reader #jojo’s bizzare adventure x reader #jojo x reader #jotaro x reader #jotaro kujo x reader #kakyoin x reader #noriaki kakyoin x reader #polnareff x reader #jean pierre polnareff x reader #avdol x reader #muhammad avdol x reader #joseph x reader #joseph joestar x reader #⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

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sanaexus · 3 months

Text

social's as yukimiya's girlfriend

-liked by megubachi, otoya.eita and 123.56k others

yourusername: i can't see i'm bliind BLIIIIND BLIIIIND (pun intended)

tagged: yukimiya.kenyu

oliver.aiku: THE CAPTION HELP FOUL ASF 😭😭 ↳yourusername: BITCH YOU NOW I'M SEXY ↳megubachi: UH DON'T CALL JUST TEXT ME ↳chigi.who: BITCHES SLOW CAN GET ON MY SPEED ↳kuniisuke: THEY STARE AT ME CAUSE THEY KNOW I'M THE ↳rin.itoshi: I-T-G-I-R-L ↳karasu_tabito: ok what the fuck is up with this edgelord ain't no fucking way he typed that ↳yourusername: you're right he didn't i did he went to let out expired water from his wonka ↳reo.miikage: what 💀 ↳hiyori: piss she meant piss

↳yourusername: SAME THING ↳nikkoki: are we going to ignore the original comment? ↳nikkoki: ok yeah ignore me too

yukimiya.kenyu: okay now who the fuck edited that 2nd image better sleep with one eye open ↳oliver.aiku: it won't matter if you sleep with both of your eyes open because you're blind anyways ↳yourusername: HEY DONR BULLY MY BF 🤬🤬🗣🗣🐺🐺ONLY I CAN BULLY MY POOKIE WOOKIE DOOKIE CUTE PATOOTIE APPLE HONEY SUGAR MELON PLUM PIE 10PC CHICKEN MCNUGGETS ↳yukimiya.kenyu: sigh why do i like you ↳yourusername: YOU DONR LOVE ME 🙁🙁☹☹ ↳megubachi: YOU MADE HER SAD NOW WOWOWOW ↳yukimiya.kenyu: no i'm sorry i'll let you paint my nails ↳yourusername: YIPPEE TY BACHIRA ILY 😘😘 ↳megubachi: ILYT POOKS 😘😘

isaichii: hear me out MAYBE just MAyBE giving me picture credits for the first one would be nice. a fucking dog nearly pissed on my show bc of y'all ↳yourusername: AND?? I NEARLY DIED BC THAT HOE IS A BLIND BITCH AND WALKED STRAIGHT INTO A BUS ↳yukimiya.kenyu: BRo?? DONR BLAME IT ALL ON ME ↳yourusername: I DIDN'T EVEN TAKE YOUR NAME WHY ARE YOU THINKING IM TALKING AB U ↳yukimiya.kenyu: BC OF THE FACT YOU CALLED ME A HOE AND A BLIND BITCH AND I WAS THE ONE WHO WALKED STRAIGHT INTO A BUS AND WAS THE ONLY OTHER PERSON IN THE PICTURE UNLESS YOU HAVE A SIDECHICK ↳itoshi_sae: so you admit you're a hoe who's a blind bitch? 💀 ↳yukimya.kenyu: what

user1: jokes aside they're so cute (i fucking hate couples) ↳yourusername: ty pooks (ikr same couples are so cringe imagine not being single) ↳yukimiya.kenyu: w h a t . ↳yukimiya.kenyu: WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR LIKE A YEAR?? ↳yourusername: what idk who u are :x ↳nagi.seishiro: srop txting like me :x ↳yourusername: fuck off

-liked by reo.miikage, julian.loki and 122.8k others

yukimiya.kenyu: my fav side chick xoxo

tagged: yourusername

megubachi: NO WAY BRO REALLY SAID THAT ↳yourusername: mom told me honesty is the best policy 🤷‍♀️ (also you're right he didn't it write the caption i did i stole his phone) ↳chigi.who: yes girl gaslight gatekeep girlboss ↳yukimiya.kenyu: AND WHY ARE YOU GUYS ENCOURAGING HER?? ↳yourusername: bc has balls = no opinion /j ↳yukimiya.kenyu: i see how it is ↳shiidoryu: BALLS MENTIONED RAHHHH 🤬🤬🐺🐺🗣🗣‼‼💯💯😎😎🔫🔫💣💣🔥🔥🔛🔝 ↳hiyori: who let this creature out

user2: my roman empire is how their faces fit together ↳julian.loki: that looks so fucking weird when you write it but ok ↳yourusername: SROP BEING A HATER JS BC U DON'T PULL ↳julian.loki: I DO PULL TFYM 🤬🤬🐺🐺I'M THE ALPHAEST ALPHA ↳yoursername: NO YOU DON'T YOU'RE ALMOST ALWAYS SURROUNED BY SHIRTLESS SWEATY BALL LOVING MEN WHO HAVE "MONSTERS" IN THEM ↳hiyori: soccer players just say soccer players please ↳mikka.kaiser: FOOTBaLL PLAYERS* ↳yukimiya.kenyu: ignoring these dried pieces of celery tysm me n her are meant to be ↳yoursername: OMGOMGOMG THE KUYIMIYA YENYU WANTS ME 😍😍🙀🙀 ↳shoei.barou: kukyimiya yenyu 💀 ↳yourusername: SHUR UP 🙁🙁

yukimiya.kenyu: i'll ignore the caption AND YOU STEALING MY PHONE for now but aside from that have i told you look very pretty ↳yourusername: but you can't even see? 🧍‍♀️ ↳shiidoryu: Y/N TAKE THE FUCKING COMPLIMENT WHEN SUCH A GORGEOUS MAN COMPLIMENTS YOU, YOU ACCEPT IT ↳shiidoryu: also real you can't even see ↳yukimiy.kenyu: i will actually feed you both toilet water ↳yourusername: you're gonna feed me? 🥺 ↳shiidoryu: you're gonna feed us? 🥺 ↳yourusername: FUCK OFF HE'S MY BF?? ↳shiidoryu: tell sae to unblock me and i'll leave him alone ↳itoshi_sae: don't even think about dming me ab this

-liked by nikkoki, alexis.ness and 134.2k others

yourusername: right now, right now baby, i don't care about the other summer (kenyu is the rat, rat is kenyu)

tagged: yukimiya.kenyu

yukimiya.kenyu: first of all i am not your crush i'm your bf?? second of all I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A RAT ↳kuniisuke: seems like something a rat face would say ↳megubachi: no bc y/n said it so it's canon ↳yourusername: still my real one fr ↳megubachi: twins ↳isaichii: bsdhira hiw ciulf yoi do tijs to me ↳rin.itoshi: some please translate that AGAIN ↳yourusername: "bachira how could you do this to me" ↳megubachi: sorry shnookums ↳isaichii: sorry guys kaiser got out of his cage (again) and started chasing me like a duck (again) ↳mikka.kaiser: you still haven't come to papa ↳reo.miikage: again what the fuck?

user2: the moment my f1 addicted brain saw the second picture it instantly said "i have never looked so good" ↳hiyori: LECLERC 🔛🔝 ↳yoursername: NAHH VERSTAPPEN ALL THE WAY🔛🔝 ↳yukimiya.kenyu: said it before and i'll say it again HAMILTON DOMINATION 🔛🔝 ↳julian.loki: hear me the fuck out. logan sargeant 🔥🔥🐺🐺 ↳shiidoryu: RAHHHH WHATS A KILOMETER 🔫🔫💣💣💯💯‼‼😎😎🐺🐺🔛🔝 ↳rin.itoshi: please seek help

mikka.kaiser: NEW JEANS MENTIONED RAHHHHHHH ↳mikka.kaiser: and we can go high 말해봐 yeah 느껴봐 mm-mm ↳alexis.ness: take him to the sky you know, i hype you, boy ↳mikka.kaiser: i raised you well, good boy ↳itoshi_sae: please be kinky, disgusting and possibly gay somewhere else ↳mikka.kaiser: we're not gay ↳alexis.ness: we're not?

yukimiya.kenyu: i see a drop dead gorgeous person right there ↳yourusername: awww ily 🥺🥺 ↳yukimiya.kenyu: oh look you're there too ↳oliver.aiku: LMFAO

nikkoki: jokes aside the first picture is so cute ↳yourusername: thank you 👉👈😝

aryu.jubei: did he try yanking your hair (send hair care routine pls) ↳yourusername: no he didn't SUPRISNGLY (ofc pooks) ↳kuniisuke: dammit ↳yourusername: WHY DO YOU WANT ME HURT SO BAD 🙁🙁 ↳rin.itoshi: surpisngly* ↳shiidoryu: YOU GOT IR WRONG TOO LMFAO

HI CHAT!!111!11 I KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST THIS LIKE A CENTURY AGO BUT ITS FINE (i had school and i came home at like 5 and i had volleyball and track practice and i had to study bc i have exams every week pls save me also i had parent teacher conference and i didn't get cooked) HAPPY SATURDAY GAYS!🐺🐺

also if you took offense to any jokes i'm sorry i really don't mean any of it. i made references to some previous posts bc why not and i love f1 jokes so 😝😝

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kkenma666 · 2 months

Text

(방찬) bang chan.. my dear

gender neutral reader

angst w happy ending, messy break up, miscommunication

the door opened slowly, blonde hair peeking in. chan came home expecting to see you waiting for him on the couch as always but was instead greeted by a dark room and cold silence.

weird.. he thought to himself. maybe you were just tired and went to bed. yeah, like you would always do lately..

he can't lie, he missed you waiting for him on the couch, a blanket draped over your body as you tried your hardest to focus on whatever was playing on the tv.

the way that your sleepiness would instantly disappear the moment you saw him, you immediately springing from your laying positions to greet him with a warm hug.

in fact, he noticed how your hugs had become shorter as if you were forcing your arms to wrap around him. the warmth you used to radiate is now gone.

he also noticed how your kiss which was filled with love and passion was now nothing but a quick peck on his lips.

it can't be.. can it?

chan splashed his face with water, trying to rid himself off of the negative thoughts. it's normal for every relationship to have its ups and downs. this will only be a temporary obstacle in your relationship.

or so he thought.

lately, he's been forced to work overtime causing him to come home later than usual. his work also has been piling up, from one piece of paperwork to another.

chan let out a loud sigh as he shut the door closed, wanting nothing more than to lay in bed and sleep all day long.

he wasn't expecting you to be there waiting for him, yet a small part of him still expects you to be there waiting for him.

he walked through the cold hallway, his hands twitching to get hold of you in his arms. god, he missed your warmth.

yesterday you were suddenly so.. loving with him. his fear was proven wrong as he realized that maybe he was just being overdramatic.

you even gave him a sincere and long hug after weeks of seemingly insincere ones, spouting about how much you love him, to the moon and back.

however, he was shocked to not find you on the bed dozing off. weird.. its fine, you're probably just in the bathroom right? he stormed off to your shared bathroom to find you also not there.

where could you be?

he tries not to overthink, his hand immediately grabbing his phone to dial you up. maybe you just went to the nearby convenience store.

only for his fears to worsen when he saw how he had been blocked by you.

he immediately searched the whole house for you, just now noticing how most of your stuff is already gone. " no no no.. oh god. i fucked up. "

⊹₊⋆

the grandeur hall was filled with people with status and wealth. their clothing and their mannerisms already proved that they were a level above.

each of them all held their bidder number, hands itching to take home the next prize that was soon to come.

finally, a big painting rolled out, all eyes focused on it.

" ladies and gentlemen, this is out last item of the day. this is one of yn ln's precious new work! with this being the last one sold for this specific collection. "

the massive painting revealed an abstract drawing of two figures hugging, one's face was buried into the other's neck, with his broad shoulder facing the viewer.

you watched from the balcony above, swirling your champagne. a sad look in your eyes as you think back about the inspiration for the painting.

it was an abstract depiction of the last hug you and your past lover shared. he was also your very first and last lover.

the painting was mainly blue and white, to resemble the somber mood. though you added in a few golden touches.. a sense of hope that one day the two of you could start over.

after the breakup, you still very vividly remember how he asked you for one last hug before you went. he clung to you like a koala, knowing if he let go he would lose you.

you originally didn't intend to sell the painting, wanting to just let it rot in your studio. though you couldn't handle seeing that massive painting every time you were in your studio.

so you auctioned it off.

after that breakup you decided to move back to australia, opting to focus on your painting career and building a name for yourself.

and after blood, sweat, and tears here you are. wealthy scums all itching to buy your painting, no matter how overpriced it was.

you took a sip from your glass as you watched your favorite part, the bidding.

" 3.5 million! ", it started off strong.

" 5 million! " one chimed.

" 8 million! " another.

" 10 million! " and another.

today was a bit more competitive than the other days, every one of them determined to get that painting of yours.

the biddings went on till a woman bid 50 million. moments when on, no other bidders put up a fight as if they feigned defeat.

" 70 million. "

gasps and murmurs could be heard from around the room. you nearly spat your drink out when you heard that.

no way was someone willing to spend 70 million on a random painting that only you and maybe your ex would understand. unless..

" ..then it's sold to mr. christopher bahng for 70 million! "

applause filled the room but that was all muffled as you could only focus on the man down below. your mouth was agape as your champagne glass slowly started slipping from your hand.

after all these years you never expected to see him again. much less buying a painting about both of your tragic endings.

the sound of glass shattering shocked the audience as they all clutched their pearls in fear a thief broke in.

but soon they began clapping again once they saw you, the artist themself, standing above them with a shocked look.

you quickly composed yourself and tried to play along, giving courtesy to the crowd.

yet your eyes were locked onto one person only. the very man who bought your painting.

he also applauded you while giving you that same gentle smile he would always give to you.

you quickly exited the room, needing a breath of fresh air to refresh your cluttered mind. he was back in australia and had just purchased one of your pieces.

the very man you've been avoiding.

after all this year of you healing and focusing on yourself, just for him to show up again. but were you really healed?

your mind still wonder back to him no mater what. no matter how long time passed his face kept appearing in your head. the bittersweet memories of your relationship replaying like a broken record.

" ugh fuck. do i have to attend the after party with him in it..? "

⊹₊⋆

christopher banhg was the only thing on your mind that night.

you dreaded coming to the after-party in general. the thought of having to entertain thos rich snobs for hours on end just did not seem appealing at all. and add your ex into the mix and congrats, your head feels like it's about to burst open!

but you can't lie about how your heart beats faster whenever you think of meeting him. just the sheer thought of stumbling into him gets your heart racing and you dont know if its in a good way or the bad way.

you tugged on your clothing, sweat already starting to form from how nervous you were. you fixed your hair and fixed the makeup on your face.

you can't believe this.

you usually never really tried this hard when going to an after party but here you were. all dolled up just because your ex was here.

' it's okay. you're just doing this because someone paid 70 million for your work.. that's a pretty high price for something you originally wanted to throw away. '

a stuffed smile plastered on your face as you conversed with random people. the ladies' hands touching you all over without consent.

all you wanted to do was go home and lay in your bed. yet you know you can't go back because you haven't seen hum yet.

" today's auction was another successful one, yn! " you bowed your head in response. " of course. with loyal bidders like you all my works are bound to sell with a high price. " laughters was shared among the patrons from your comment.

" yes yes, we will loyally wait for your next bid. "

your cheeks were starting to hurt from straining a smile all night long, maybe he didn't even come to the after-party. maybe you were just delusional.

an all too familiar laughter was heard behind you.

your head spun around way too fast for your own liking.

your eyes intertwined with his after god knows how long. you took in his features and realized he looked all the same. the only thing that changed was his hair and how he looked older and somehow more attractive.

" oh mr bahng! i didn't take you for a bidder. especially on that would spend 70 million in a night alone. " one of the men spoke. he chuckled, his dimples showing while shrugging. " pocket change. "

you were standing before him and the rest of the group, the random ladies still latching onto you. you tried to take this chance as an escape.

you nudged their hands off of you, " well, i will get going now. still have others to entertain. " a nod of understanding were sent to you. you tried to rush past him, only for him to hold onto your wrist.

" a word with the artist? "

⊹₊⋆

you guided him to the second floor that's only accessible to you and some of your staff. you presented him with your favorite spot in there, the balcony.

it offers a breathtaking view of the night sky, with stars sprinkled in the dark blanket. below it was the city lighting up the night. further proving how the city doesn't sleep at night.

he stood behind you, gathering up what to say to you. you yourself didn't even know what to say to him. all those countless nights spent thinking about him just for you to not be able to look at him in the eyes.

" i see your career's going well.. i've always known you'd make it big. " a soft smirk crept up on your face. god he's still the same, isn't he?

" well look at you now mister big shot. " you finally had the courage to turn around to look at him in the eyes and oh, you might get lost in them. the breathtaking view of the night sky could never compete with his eyes.

bang chan stared at you in silence, his dimples poking through his milky white cheeks. he never forgot what you looked like since the day you left him, clinging onto whatever's left of you as if his life depended on it.

the two of you stared at each other, anticipating breath. both of you were twitching to ravage one another but you knew it was so so wrong, yet so tempting.

that is until you crashed your lips onto his, perfectly molding into his. it was as if it found its long-lost home again, so foreign yet so familiar.

his hands immediately found their way onto your waist, your hands snaking around his back and onto his neck. you gripped him as if he would disappear if you were to let go. who knows maybe he might.

time went by so slowly, as if the earth stopped spinning just for this moment alone.

you pulled back first, drowning yourself in oxygen. you didn't even know what to say to him, only holding him close as you breathed in his scent.

" i miss you, my dear. "

please read!!

so this might be my last kpop fic on this acc but idk yet since i still have one last one in my draft that i might post but here's a sneak peak to my writing for the new followers uwu

#tehhyunie writes!!#kpop x reader #skz x reader #skz x male reader #skz x gn reader #skz angst #bang chan x reader #bang chan x male reader #bang chan x gn reader #bang chan angst

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folkookie97 · 11 months

Text

❝ hating you's the only way ❞ — JJK

— SUMMARY: ❝Loving you hurts so bad. Jungkook finds a better way to try lessing the pain. ❞

— PAIRING: boyfriend!Jungkook x girlfriend!reader

— TYPE: angst | non-idol AU

— WORD COUNT: 547

— WARNINGS: Inspired by Hate You (Jungkook), Ambiguous/Open Ending, Jungkook is bad at feelings, Mean!Jungkook, Mentioned Kim Taehyung, Curses, Argument.

— NOTES¹: that's my Jungkook's fav song <3

— NOTES²: it's crossposted on my ao3 account in Jungkook's version, but also in a JJ Maybank (OBX) version.

— RELEASE DATE: November 09, 2023

— CROSSPOSTING: ao3

"What did I do wrong?"

The words left your mouth after an absurd amount of time in complete silence. Such a long absence of speech while you remained sitting on the couch, your eyes looking at your boyfriend and searching for any answer.

His indifference remained implacable and causing pain in your heart. "Jesus! You don't even care about our relationship."

It wasn't a question. But the confident statement at least caused a reaction from Jungkook. "Oh, so now we're talking about who really cares about this bullshit? 'Cause you don't even seem caring about us when you're looking at Taehyung with your fucking puppy eyes." He chuckled, even though his sentence wasn't actually sarcastic. "Fuck, (Y/N)! He's my best friend. You really think I wouldn't realize what you were trying to do?"

Your eyes widened, getting up from the couch so quickly that you made a loud noise. Jungkook still had his body fixed on the armchair in front of you, but you saw him shiver slightly.

"You crazy? I never thought anything like that about Taehyung!" Your throat burned at the volume of your voice. "Or anyone else!"

Jungkook rolled his eyes, starting to anger at your frustration. "Stop yelling. The world doesn't need to know that my ex-girlfriend is a whore."

Your eyes filled with tears at the venom present in his words.

If anyone else said that, you would get angry and trying slap them for such audacity. However, he was not just anyone. He was Jungkook. Your Jungkook. Your perfect boyfriend. Your boyfriend who hugged you during night storms. Your boyfriend who liked teaching Korean cooking recipes, no matter how bad you were cooking some of them. Your boyfriend who liked spoiling you with cute gifts every month.

Your boyfriend who called you "my little one" and "my princess". That Jungkook would never call you a "whore." He would never accuse you of something like that.

"Why are you acting like this? Why are you being so mean and accusing me of things I never thought of?" You let out a sob. A sob so sad that it soon turned into an avalanche of tears.

Lowering his head and swallowing hard when you starting your crying fit, you heard the last words Jungkook spoke to you before the official end of your relationship. "Stop crying, you're just making me hate you even more."

And when he walked quickly out of your house to get on his motorcycle, Jungkook knew he was just a coward guy. A guy who was afraid of love.

He chose painting you as the villain in your relationship. He chose to believe that you were telling lies from the beginning. He even chose to believe that you were thinking about kissing his best friend someday.

Jungkook was too afraid of love. Because it hurts. Loving you hurts him so bad.

Even though you two weren't perfect, you came very close. He couldn't afford to unexpectedly lose that. The thought of the possibility of you one day deciding to end everything literally killed him inside everyday.

If he were the one to destroy the relationship, maybe the consequences would affect him less. He would at least be ready, right?

Maybe hating you's the only way it doesn't hurt.

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kimetsu-no-yaiba-writings · 1 year

Note

hi ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

i want to say that i really like your work and would like to try to make a request with douma, where s/o is very random

for example, they just hang out and then s/o gives out a random strange fact like: "did you know that dolphins can fall in love very much and build relationships the same way as people?" or she can run up, pet him and run away, etc

feel free to ignore it! hope you having a wonderful day, love you

and forgive me for my english, it's quite crooked

Hello \(≧▽≦.)/ Thank you so much for saying that anon, that truly makes me happy to hear, also don't worry, your request has been heard loud and clear! And I love it!

I hope I've done your request justice (^ω^.) and please know that your always welcome back to browse and request something from me again.

Your English is great by the way,so don't worry!

Douma/Doma with an S/O who does random things - [Headcannons]:

There where many things that Douma/Doma found boring, in life and with entertainment, but you weren't boring - you were anything but boring

Each day you did (or said) something that tickled his funny bone

Each day you had a new fact, hobby, skill/talent and object that you had to share with him that genuinely had his brain working overtime at how you knew or did that

Douma/Doma finally found something to look forward too each day and it was you and your randomness

Your randomness was cute - adorable even - and it definitely saved you from scenario's that would have ended up with your death (and a rather pissed off and sad spouse) or at least hurt

Douma/Doma enjoys your random fact of the day - that you randomly drop on him at a random point in the day

When you first started your random fact dropping you'd started with facts about the human body during a tea ceremony

"Did you know that the average tongue is about three inches long" You said simply, taking a sip of your tea before continuing "and that the human body can shed about 40 pounds of skin?" - its safe to say that Douma/Doma was so dumbfounded by those facts he over-poured his tea with a rather star-struck expression

Although he does quite like the cute random facts that you tell him too - "Did you know that trees can make friends and talk to each other? Isn't that sweet"

You also had the habit of coming up to him randomly - at different points in the day - and inspecting his hands and tapping three times on his wrist (directly on where his pulse point would be) before leaving without a word

And bopping his nose

And sometimes knocking gently on his forehead

Also you like tracing shapes through his clothes on his back, arms and legs - making him guess the shapes and words you form with your nails

You also liked stealing his fans to use them for something random and/or weird - he once found you using them to cut fruit...

Once you baked a 10 tier cake and brought it in mid sermon with his followers with plates and water

Food was another thing that you made randomly, you baked and cooked new and weird things and brought in for him to try - as well as his followers....

When he sleeps in, it's always a 60/40 that you'll have done something to his hair - You like to fiddle with and decorate his hair and you have once perfectly styled his hair into a plaited mohawk

You've painted his nails - "Oh paint them pink next time love" He'd whined once into your neck "I want them to match the colour of your love~" + "Oh! Like the colour of my organs too?" followed by a blank stare from Douma/Doma

As you both where about to sleep you turned to him, perfect smile on your face and sleep hazing your eyes and said, "I wanna eat you! Just take a chunk cause your too perfect and beautiful for this world" before promptly falling asleep

He has found you trying to do cartwheels down the hall

You've always got something up your sleeve and it honestly brings Douma/Doma so much joy to live through each day, finding out what you had in store

.....you've made a finger puppet version of him before as well as a doll and you have used both as advisors - "And what do you think Wackus Bonkus?" "Kill him" "Oh! You Naughty Wackus Bonkus!"

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theharrowing · 2 years

Text

What, now?

For as long as you and Jungkook have been friends, your feelings for him have been unrequited. Or have they?

☁ Jungkook x Female Reader ☁ word count: 13.6k ☁ friends to lovers, requited unrequited, pwp, fluff, explicit smut, nsfw, 18+ ☁ warnings: switch jungkook & switch reader, smoking weed, playful swatting and hitting (idk i'm an aries venus and i tend to playfully hit the people i love), tension and confessions, shot-gunning smoke, making out, light teasing and begging, anxiety, use of "baby" and "good girl/good boy", oral sex (f & m), fingering, a bit of squirting, dick piercingsssss, deepthroating, a hint of humiliation and cum play and spit, cum swallowing, unprotected sex, jungkook changes positions like he changes karaoke songs, booty eating and fingering, a bit of cockwarming, soft feelings. ☁ note: the time has come. i have written my first ever jungkook fic! i am very excited to be taking this important step, and i hope that you enjoy it. please blame/thank @jjkeverlast for putting this idea into my head and brainstorming with me! this contains literally the barest plot! ☁ beta read by @neoneunnajimin and @blog-name-idk 🥰 i love you both very much! ☁ posted march 2023 | read on ao3

"What, now?" Jeongguk asks, blinking heavily from staring at some fixed point on your comforter.

Frustrated, you sigh out a puff of smoke and set the joint onto a clear glass ashtray on your bedside table. Then you grab a pillow, gripping tightly to its soft, floral covering, and you chuck it at him.

"Oh, for the love of—" you complain as the pillow hits his shoulder, and he lets out a deep oof. "—you are impossible, Jeongguk!"

Jeongguk clutches his heart, feigning dramatically to be wounded, and leans back. Then, fear paints his face, and you realize he might actually be tipping over the edge of your bed as his arms flail out to the sides.

With an exasperated huff, you get onto your knees and lean forward, grabbing one of his flailing arms and yanking him to safety. As Jeongguk slouches toward you, your balance slips, and you crash headfirst into his knee, then roll onto your back in defeat as a throbbing ache blooms in the center of your forehead.

Jeongguk bends—brows knit with concern and wide, deep brown eyes accentuated by his browline glasses—staring straight into your soul. As he reaches to touch you, his dark brown curls fall forward, framing his beautiful face, causing you to panic-gasp and swat at his hand.

"Get away from me, you demon!"

"I'm sorry! Your bed is tall; I could have died!" he whines as you roll to safety by your headboard and scramble back into a seated position. You reach for the joint to take another deep inhale, letting the smoke settle before breathing it out, then you lean forward and hand it over.

"You go so far away when you're high," you grumble as you sit back, snatching another pillow to hug close.

"Sorry," Jeongguk mutters as he takes a slow, deep hit, hissing as he inhales and sighing on the exhale. "I get lost in my thoughts."

With a scoff, you roll your eyes.

"What were you thinking of, hmm?"

Jeongguk flits his gaze to you, which appears a bit sad, stirring something inside your tummy. For as long as you have known Jeongguk, he has been lighthearted and relaxed, finding levity in any situation. But lately, when you hang out, there is a heaviness—a tension, almost. Something hangs in the air—something he always seems on the edge of voicing but never does.

Jeongguk leans forward and hands you the joint, but rather than straightening out after you reach for it, he stays anchored on his palm, slouched in front of you. With a sigh, he cocks his head and says, "I don't know. What if I—" his eyes search around and past you, then return, "—what if you don't like what I've been thinking about?"

Ridiculous. The only thing Jeongguk could ever do to upset you is move to a new city or find some other way to pull the two of you apart. As long as your best friend is in your orbit, nothing can hurt you.

And, sure, the fact that you have a huge, overwhelming, insurmountable, absolutely dizzying fucking crush on him is frustrating—bordering infuriating, at times—but you suffer out of love. At least, that is what you tell yourself. You can yearn until the end of time as long as your best friend never leaves you.

Jeongguk clears his throat and settles back on his knees. You could swear his gaze falls past your eyes—lower, to your mouth—but he seems once again lost in thought, making him hard to read.

"I want to kiss you," he finally blurts out.

You choke on air, inhaling too sharply and coughing, squeezing your pillow tight. Jeongguk's shoulders slump forward, and he hangs his head and shakes it, letting out a soft, somewhat humorless laugh as he sits back up and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Forget it," he mutters.

Absolutely not.

"Jeon Jeongguk," you wheeze, gripping the corner of the pillow and swatting him with it, hitting his knees. He glances at you with a sad, somewhat distant expression, and your head fucking spins as you try to make sense of this situation.

"Is this just like...high talk?" you ask, suddenly feeling panicked that your very attractive best friend is talking about kissing you. "Like, I don't know, is the weed making you say silly shit?"

A frown tugs on Jeongguk's pretty lips.

"Silly shit? Wow, yeah, forget I said anything."

"That's not—" you feel guilty, sighing, "—Jeongguk—"

"No, no," he interrupts, waving a limp defeated hand. "Never mind."

You remember the joint in your grasp and take a useless puff, having to grab for the baby blue lighter sitting beside the ashtray and flick your thumb over the wheel a few times until a flame greets you. Gently, you inhale as fire engulfs the tip, bringing it back to life, and then, with a lungful, you pass it to your best friend, who gives a sad half-smile and says, "Thanks."

As you settle back against your headboard, clenching the lighter in your fist and hugging your pillow tight, your mind races. You struggle to grab onto any one thought long enough to really comprehend it; all you can seem to focus on is when? When could this feeling of his have started?

Jeongguk chuckles, but it lacks any mirth. And then he mutters, "Here, I thought I was being super obvious," causing your mouth to drop open.

"Okay, but...since when?"

"I've had feelings for you since the day we met," Jeongguk states, looking into your eyes, causing your stomach to do a backflip.

"Since wh—what? You what?"

Jeongguk opens his mouth to speak, but you wave your hands in the air, lighter wedged under your pinky and ring finger, to cut him off.

"No! Because, I have had feelings for you since the day we met! Which means—oh, god, what have we been doing?"

"I was a dork when we first met," Jeongguk grumbles, though he seems to have lightened up, smiling through his words.

Laughter quakes through you, and you nod your head cartoonishly, still absolutely dumbfounded by all of this.

"You were! You were smart, and funny, and kind, and even when your nose was still too big for your face, you were still the cutest dork I knew!"

The Jeongguk you met all those years ago, when he was tiny and shy, was already the love of your life. And as you aged and he began to bulk up, covering himself in tattoos and piercings, it only made your heart ache all the more.

Jeongguk's gaze falls, and a shy smile creeps across his face. He plays with the little metal ring in his lip, passing his teeth gently over it, then he looks back up, making firm eye contact.

With his voice dropping an octave lower, he asks, "You really have feelings for me?"

The shift in his tone and demeanor makes your heart pound, and you attempt to take a drag from the joint, realizing after two dazed inhales that it has gone out, once again. Sheepishly, you hold up the lighter and flick your thumb over the wheel once, then twice, watching as sparks fly and wondering if it is in any way symbolic or if that is the weed taking over your cloudy little brain and making you too hopeful for your own good.

With a deep inhale, you reignite the joint—hoping you have done a better job than last time—then you hold in the smoke and hand it back, feeling yourself become antsy under Jeongguk's intense gaze. He brushes his fingers against your knuckles as he slowly takes the dwindling offering and pulls it to his mouth, and you barely part your lips to let the smoke leave your lungs, watch intently as he sucks in and then smiles, licking his lips before slowly exhaling.

A chuckle breaks you from your trance, and you blink heavily while sitting up straight, gripping the life out of the pillow with your forearms. The weed, Jeongguk's confession, and his shift in mood all have you feeling lightheaded. You clear your throat and toss your lighter to the bedside table, which clatters on impact.

"Of course I do," you mutter, finally returning to the conversation that had hung as thick and heavy as the cloud of smoke between you. "Have you seen yourself, Jeongguk? Everybody has feelings for you."

Jeongguk smiles—still looks a bit shy, but with an air of confidence that makes your head spin. Although you know that there are no hallucinogenic properties to the weed you smoke—or, at least, very little—you struggle to grasp that this is reality.

"I don't care what everybody feels," he utters softly, leaning forward with his palms on the bed, joint sticking straight up between two fingers. "Just you."

Jeongguk crawls—fucking crawls—toward you, and you feel your brain begin to short-circuit. The air in the room is thick and warm, and you swallow a large lump in your throat. But it is his chuckle that really does you in—soft and light, and a little too deep for comfort, causing your heart to pound loudly in your ears and heavily in your chest.

"Tell me," Jeongguk utters, entering your personal space.

It takes you a few seconds to catch up to what he is saying; all you can focus on is his looming, beautiful presence.

"What, now?"

Jeongguk's head falls forward, and he laughs—shoulders gently bouncing. He shakes his head and looks back up at you, and god, he is devastating with his hair grown out in waves and his glasses slid down his nose. Absolutely breathtaking.

"Tell me how you feel," he urges softly, sitting up on his knees in front of you and lifting the joint to his lips.

Your eyes once again follow every movement, and all you can mutter is, "I feel...very high."

Jeongguk laughs again, puffing smoke into your face and making you grimace—not that you mind entirely; your brain is already so hazy, thanks, in part, to him. What harm will a little smoke do?

"How you feel about me," he says, leaning in just a little too close.

"Uh—I," you swallow, despite your throat feeling dreadfully dry. "I li—I like you. O-obviously."

The last word is barely a whisper, and you could swear Jeongguk's eyes sparkle when you say it. Every fight or flight instinct blares at full volume as Jeongguk leans and presses his palm into the headboard just beside your head. Tan, tattooed skin fills your periphery, and you turn slightly to glance at his arm beside you before returning your focus to him.

"Come here," Jeongguk says, lifting what is left of the joint to his lips and sucking in, then holding in the smoke as he pulls it away. He raises his eyebrows and gently grabs your arm to tug you forward, and you lean just enough for him to take your invitation and close the gap, pressing your lips together.

Your eyes widen, and your first instinct is to take a sharp inhale because, holy fuck, Jeongguk's mouth is against yours, and he feels so perfectly soft and inviting. Instead, you part your lips slowly, and as you do, Jeongguk exhales, passing the smoke from his mouth to yours in a dizzying exchange. You hold it in, then swallow it back, exhaling through your nose as Jeongguk smiles against you and begins to back up.

But you do not want Jeongguk to back up. You have felt his mouth on yours, and you need more than just a taste. Frantically, you reach up and grip onto his shirt, tugging him close.

With a soft, "Oing?" he falls forward, pliant.

Jeongguk smells musky and sweet, and you gently drag his lip between your teeth, tasting metal and smoke. With a sigh that sounds awfully close to a whimper, Jeongguk opens his mouth and drags his tongue over your lips and teeth, causing you to let out something between a moan and a sob, feeling Jeongguk smile as he deepens the kiss, willing your mouth further open.

There is a sweetness to Jeongguk's tongue hidden beneath the stinky taste of weed, and you lick into his mouth, chasing hints of him, gasping as he lets out faint noises. Despite all of this being very real—every sense filled with Jeongguk—you struggle to accept that this is actually happening. Finally, after all this time.

Jeongguk lifts his hand to touch you, grazing his fingertips over your cheek, and sending sparks through you. Then he pulls from the kiss, and swears under his breath, sighing with annoyance. You open your eyes to find him still cradling a dead joint between his fingers, which he drops onto the ashtray, only to begin wiping fallen ash off your comforter.

"Jeon," you grumble, despite hardly caring about the ash; you just like to give him a hard time.

"I'm sorry for my fault," Jeongguk mutters as he returns to your lips.

Your hand still clenches onto his shirt, and you chuckle into his kiss, keeping your face turned only enough to slot your noses side by side, slowly licking and sucking and savoring one another. Gradually, your brain and heart stop operating in panic mode, and you begin to notice the arousal that swirls through you—hot and eager for more.

To your dismay, Jeongguk breaks from the kiss and rests his forehead against yours.

"Is this alright?" he asks, and you open your eyes to find him appearing concerned.

"I like it," you respond, fuzzy and warm.

"You have no idea—well, actually you probably do have some idea how long I have wanted to do that."

You nod and hum, "Mmhmm."

"So..." Jeongguk trails off, playing with his lip ring between his teeth, sitting so close, everything appears blurred. "What, now?"

Your tummy does a backflip, and you cannot help but chuckle softly. What, now, indeed.

With a hum, you mutter, "We could keep kissing."

"We could..."

Jeongguk slots his lips against yours as he trails off, and you wonder if there is something more to his tone, so you hum—a question, or, perhaps, encouragement to continue.

Rather than elaborate, Jeongguk sucks your bottom lip gently between his teeth. Your mouth falls open as you gasp, and he deepens the kiss, wrapping an arm around your back while he cradles your cheek softly as you slide your hands to his neck, eager to keep him close. The back and forth of your tongues is an addicting dance, and you find yourself moaning and gasping a little louder, pulling him a little closer.

Jeongguk makes soft, inviting sounds of his own, and you fight the urge to claw at his clothing and beg him for more. You are certain that he must want it too—that this kiss must be affecting him the way it affects you—but you are unsure how to initiate more; what if this really is all he wants?

With a deep, needy groan, Jeongguk pulls from the kiss, and he appears timid when he sits back enough to look you in the eyes. Taking in the sight of him this close, with his pretty, dark curls framing his face—this close that you can count each mole and scar that graces his skin—you feel warmth rise to your cheeks. Jeongguk seems to be searching for something to say, then he drops his gaze.

"Hey," you mutter as you lean in and place a soft peck on the apple of his cheek. "Where did you go?"

Jeongguk softly laughs, tugging his lips into a smile.

"I just...I can't believe this is finally happening...I'm finally kissing you."

A smile creeps over your lips.

"Me too."

Jeongguk backs away further, and you stick your bottom lip out to pout. You are in the midst of a solid high, with everything feeling simultaneously too light and too heavy, and you want to keep making out with your super hot best friend.

"My legs are falling asleep," he complains as he crawls beside you and rotates, sitting against the headboard.

Beside you, his hand rests palm facing up, and you place your hand into his, slotting your fingers together. Holding Jeongguk's hand is nothing new, but now it feels different—now there is an electric current that buzzes lively between your palms.

"Way to ruin the vibe," you tease, giving him a gentle squeeze. "I was getting into it."

Jeongguk tugs on your hand, and you glance up, meeting his gaze.

"Come here, then."

And perhaps you should hesitate before swinging your leg over your best friend's thighs to straddle his lap. Perhaps this—whatever the fuck this is—that is happening between you deserves a conversation before it moves too much further. But you do not want to dwell on anything for too long. All you want to do is sink into this moment until you are too far below the surface to breathe, succumbing to the chaos and letting it swallow you whole.

You climb onto Jeongguk's lap, still holding onto his hand, and you settle down on his thighs, gently touching your fingertips to the underside of his chin and slotting his lips against yours. Jeongguk smiles and holds his mouth pliant for you to explore, then he wraps his arms around you, sliding one hand up to your neck as he deepens the kiss.

Making out with Jeongguk is a dream you never want to wake from. His scent is soft and welcoming and smells like home—hints of fresh cologne on top of the natural sweet musk that you have come to identify as him. And his voice is low and grumbly, with a pitchy lilt whenever you nip at his lip, and it stirs something deep inside you to pull more of those pretty sounds from his throat.

He feels incredible beneath you. Firm but soft, gentle but insistent in his touch—eager but not pushy or too rough. His lips are sweet, spit-slicked heaven, and the more you kiss and suck and nibble, the more enamored you become.

Jeongguk groans and mutters, "You feel so good," and it sparks something in you to lean into him, chest flush against his. He holds you tighter, gently squeezing the back of your neck, then he breaks from your lips to kiss your chin and trail down to your throat.

The new sensation sends arousal flooding through you, and you whimper as you somewhat mindlessly roll your hips. Jeongguk groans against your skin, his grip on you tightens, and if you are not mistaken, it feels like a tremble quakes through him.

“Easy, tiger,” Jeongguk warns as his hand squeezes the back of your neck.

You let out a playful, "Hmm?" before rolling yourself against him once more, and Jeongguk gasps as he slides his hands down to your hips, holding you firmly in place as he returns his mouth to yours.

"You're entering dangerous territory by doing that," he grumbles against you.

You draw lazy shapes with your tongues between each sentence, swallowing one another's words whole.

"Dangerous how?"

"You're grinding yourself against my dick," he whines through a helpless chuckle.

"I know."

You open your eyes to find his wide, and he grins, shaking his head in disbelief before his gaze darkens.

"You know, huh?"

Another hum—a deep, enticing, "Mmhmm"—as you attempt to roll your hips again, finding yourself stuck hovering over his crotch instead.

"Are you trying to get me hard?" he asks, tilting his head back so you can look at him fully.

Jeongguk already appears somewhat wrecked. With a hint of dew on his forehead, rosy-flush on his cheeks, and hair a little disheveled, he is so fucking pretty.

And maybe it is the weed talking—making you bold enough to say shit like this to your best friend in the whole entire world—but you ask, "And what if I am?" while holding brazen, unwavering eye contact.

Jeongguk stares at you for several quiet seconds with his pretty lips parted, eyes roving as if studying you. Then, in an eager motion, he whips his glasses off, tossing them to your bedside table in a clatter as he gently but firmly takes your face in both hands and kisses you like a man desperate to never breathe anything but the oxygen from your lungs.

You moan into Jeongguk's mouth and roll your hips, this time angling forward to graze denim against denim with purpose. Jeongguk whimpers into your mouth and slides one arm down, past your shoulder, to your hip, holding tight while he thrusts upward. You are unsure if you actually feel him—only really noticing rough fabric scrape over rough fabric—but the intensity of his kiss and eagerness of his hips have arousal coursing through you, steadily building.

"Are you sure?" Jeongguk groans into your lips, and you nod.

"I've wanted you for at least a million years; of course I am sure."

A soft chuckle flits from his mouth to yours.

"A million years? How many lives is that?"

Impatience courses through you—why is he so determined to be chatty now, of all times?

You grumble, "I don't know, Jeon, twelve or thirteen thousand, give or take?" and Jeongguk smiles against you.

“I guess I should hurry up and fuck you then, since you’ve waited so many lifetimes for it.”

The nonchalance of his statement sends a chill up your back. He must feel it, because he giggles and continues to suck and nip at your neck, pushing you to the brink of complete mental collapse.

"What is your problem?" you whine, lolling your head to the side to give him more access to you. "How can you just say that?"

"Do you not want me to fuck you?" Jeongguk asks between nips at your skin.

You shove at his chest, feeling petulant, grumbling, "I am going to fucking kill you."

With a chuckle, Jeongguk wraps his arms around your back, lifts you, and then lies you down against the mattress. It happens so fast, you gasp and throw your arms over your head as you fall gently against the soft comforter, and Jeongguk grins as he leans forward, hovering over you.

"Tell me what you want," he says with wide eyes—blown out and bloodshot.

"I w—I want you," you stammer, suddenly too shy to voice what has been on your mind for so many years.

Jeongguk leans close—so close his crotch grazes yours, and you instinctively wrap your legs around his thighs to keep him in place.

"Want me how?" he asks with a devilish grin.

"Fuck—" you mutter quietly before swallowing your nervousness, wrapping your arms around his neck, and saying, "Fuck me, Jeongguk."

Jeongguk's smile widens, and you could swear his eyes shimmer as he gazes down at you. He almost seems taken aback—unable to process that this is his reality. Not that you can blame him; you feel equally stunned.

"You sure?" he asks, gazing becoming so soft, affection blooms behind your ribs.

Feeling impatient, you smack Jeongguk softly on the shoulder with your fingertips. You are way too high to be repeating yourself, although you do appreciate his insistence on making sure you are comfortable.

But the pace at which he is dragging everything out has you practically begging, "Yes, god, please, Jeongguk."

The benefit of initiating a sexual encounter with your best friend in the entire world is that you are both aware of one another's health checks and sexual histories. You have bragged and complained to one another about every single sexual encounter over the years, and have sent selfies from every doctor's office visit.

But Jeongguk is Jeongguk, so, of course, he asks, "Still on the pill?" and he does not question it when you nod in response.

Jeongguk reaches for the back of his shirt and swiftly pulls it over his head. As he tosses it to the side, you feel your breath get caught in your throat. You have seen Jeongguk shirtless before—have swam with him countless times, and have gone along to all of his tattoo appointments. But watching him undress with the intent of being intimate with you feels different. Having front-row access to gawk openly at his beautifully sculpted muscles is new.

Gently, Jeongguk grabs at the hem of your shirt and tugs, and you comply, pulling it over your head with a weak lift of your torso before crashing back onto the comforter once it is off. You lay in a sheer, mesh black bra, and when you begin to anchor yourself onto your elbows to unclip the back, Jeongguk shakes his head, leaning forward as he mutters, "I like it. Keep it on."

Another benefit to initiating a sexual encounter with your best friend in the entire world is that you have shared some details about what you are into with one another, over the years. Nothing too graphic because you would always shy away from serious sexual conversation, worrying about becoming too obviously flustered by him. But you know that Jeongguk tends to like things to have a bit of a power-play dynamic. He has, on several occasions, bragged openly about his sexual prowess to male mutual friends while in your presence, discussing past partners in terms of submissiveness.

So, for that reason, you stretch your hands up, over your head. Nothing too wild, but a clear sign of surrender. Jeongguk follows the movement with his eyes, then slides down your body, hovering his lips over one of your clothed breasts.

"Keep your hands above your head," he sighs in command, ghosting warmth over your skin and giving you goosebumps.

You let out a shaky exhale in response and nod, placing one of your hands into the other and slightly gripping, determined to be good for him. Jeongguk nudges the tip of his nose against a nipple, causing you to gasp as the touch—faint as it is—sends a spark of arousal through you.

"I always knew your tits would be amazing," Jeongguk grumbles, dragging his lips over your sensitive bud.

If you were not trying to keep your hands firmly in place, you would have delivered another smack to his shoulder for being so unserious. You even gasp and begin to complain about Jeongguk's choice of words, but he flicks his tongue against your clothed nipple, and you sigh into the feeling, already distracted.

Jeongguk chuckles and mutters, "I'm surprised you didn't try to hit me," with his lips grazing the mesh over your skin, because of course he knows you too well.

You let out a soft laugh of your own.

"I wanted to, but you told me to keep my hands above my head."

"So good for me," Jeongguk responds deeply, sending a shiver through you. "I'm a little surprised."

"Hmm?" you ask, watching as Jeongguk glances up, making eye contact.

He smiles wide and shrugs, saying, "I expected you to be more of a brat."

The urge to smack strengthens, but you do your best to keep your hands firmly in place. Jeongguk is definitely not incorrect that you tend to be more of a brat in bed, but you were hoping to behave at least a little since this is something you have wanted for so long.

"Keep talking shit and I'll show you a brat," you respond as you watch Jeongguk gaze up once more with a dark, pointed stare.

"Is that so?" he asks as he crawls up your body, caging your head between his hands.

You tilt your chin upward and nod, giving him a cheeky grin.

"It is."

Jeongguk reaches down with one hand between your legs, which you let fall open the moment his knuckles brush against your thigh. With his fingertips, he grazes over the denim crotch of your pants, following the seam up to your zipper. It is so light you can barely feel it as he passes over your heat, but it is enough to make you whimper and plead with your eyes for more.

"I thought you wanted me to fuck you?" Jeongguk asks playfully as his head cocks to the side and pretty, dark waves fall past his face.

"I do."

"Hmm, but you're already misbehaving. So maybe I should just tease you a little and leave."

For a split second, you lift your hands from the bed with the intent of wrapping your arms around his neck, earning a raise of Jeongguk's eyebrows. Then you drop them back onto the comforter and squeeze your hands closed.

"Please, Jeongguk," you attempt, batting your eyelashes and smiling oh, so sweetly.

Jeongguk studies you, letting his wide eyes fall to your lips and back up, then he says, "I guess I could make you beg for it."

"You are so evil," you whine, voice breathy as Jeongguk leans down and nips at your chin, down your neck. "Please don't make me beg."

"Hmm, but you already are," Jeongguk teases as his lips, teeth, and tongue travel lower.

God, Jeongguk is as insufferable as he is irresistible, and you allow your eyes to flutter closed as his lips curve toward your breast, pinching and tugging at fabric, touching you so softly, you want to burst. His warm, moist breath fans over your skin, causing you to open your eyes, and you sigh heavily, watching as your chest rises and falls beneath his teasing.

You have fantasized about this moment many times before, imagining the heated way in which Jeongguk might take you—a little forcefully maybe, or even a bit clumsy—desperate, and eager in his movements. You have even allowed yourself to imagine overtaking him—holding him down until he is pliant and whimpering while you tease, grazing your fingertips against his prostate until he screams, using your toys while you ride him.

But this—slow and measured, light in touch and heavy in implication—never in a million years had anything quite like this crossed your mind.

Jeongguk flicks his tongue against your nipple, grazing the semi-rough mesh across the sensitive skin. A gasp puffs between your lips, then you let out a soft, enticing whimper, hoping for the sound to encourage him to do more than taunt you.

"Fuck, you sound so good," Jeongguk groans, lapping his tongue over you, wetting the material.

Satisfied with your successful encouragement, you let out a louder sound, trembling under his firm touch. Fighting the urge to reach for his hair and give it a light tug, or bunch it behind his head so you can better see his face, has you opening and clenching your fists uselessly above your head.

Jeongguk moves lower, nipping at the underside of your breast and making you whine. The pinching feeling of soft skin between blunt teeth barely hurts at all—hardly feels like much of anything—but it takes you by surprise, and you are jumpy enough for every little sensation to be just a bit too much.

As he settles between your legs, Jeongguk's butt hits the headboard of your bed with a thunk, causing him to laugh, which, in turn, makes you laugh.

"Scoot up," Jeongguk complains, and you begin to wiggle yourself toward the end of the bed, careful to keep your hands in place, over your head, committing fully to the good girl bit.

At the foot of your bed is a bench that sits several inches lower than the mattress, and you continue to scoot until your hands slide over the edge and rest on its cushioned top. You straighten out your legs, and Jeongguk settles onto his knees between them, then reaches to undo your jeans.

The realization hits you once more, and quite suddenly, that this is really happening. Your best friend—Jeon Jeongguk, babe extraordinaire and light of your absolute fucking life—is undressing you in broad daylight with the intent to see and to feel you.

A small wave of anxiety washes over you, and you close your eyes as he begins to wiggle your pants past your hips and yank them lower. The underwear you have on beneath is not terribly exciting—plain black, soft material, nothing too fancy. But they are cute, and you bite your lip as you smile, hoping he finds them cute, too.

A chuckle pulls you from your thoughts, and you crack open your eyes to find Jeongguk frozen with your jeans tugged half way past your thighs, while he is staring at your face.

"Why do you look so worried?"

With a sigh, you groan, "Stop always being so intuitive."

Jeongguk's smile drops, and he lets go of your pants.

"Is something wrong?"

He is too kind for his own good. Because, of course, he is; you are not head over heels for him without good reason.

"No," you insist, shaking your head. Above your head, you fiddle with some unknown, thin material between your fingers. "I'm just, you know...it's a lot, letting your best friend see you naked. I definitely want you to! But it still makes me nervous."

"Oh," Jeongguk says, sitting up on his knees while he begins to unbuckle his belt and yank it from its loops. "I don't think it's a lot."

"Well, of course you don't," you respond through a bit of a nervous grin as Jeongguk sets his black leather belt aside and undoes his pants. You mutter a little more softly, "You're fucking hot."

Jeongguk shrugs and pushes his jeans down past his thighs, then sits back on his butt and begins to wiggle out of them with his legs angled to the side, past your body.

"You are also fucking hot," he responds matter-of-factly.

You scoff.

"Yeah, but, compared to you—"

Before you can finish your sentence, you feel ridiculous for even beginning it, and you bite your tongue. With the way Jeongguk frowns at you as he tosses his pants aside, the point is driven home.

"Don't—" he begins, and you nod.

"I know."

"Then why—"

You feel impatient to continue what had been previously started, but you cannot deny Jeongguk's softness is very touching. You extend your right leg out, feeling the denim awkwardly stretch around your thighs where Jeongguk left it, and use your foot to attempt to pull him close.

"I get self-conscious," you admit, smiling as Jeongguk gets back on his knees and crawls between your legs. "I can be a hot bitch and feel shy, okay? I contain multitudes. Now keep undressing me."

The familiar playful, shit-eating grin that tugs at Jeongguk's lips makes your heart pound, and he leans forward, continuing his task of tugging off your pants. You twist and squeeze bits of fabric between your fingers while he leans back against the headboard and lifts your legs straight into the air, and once the denim is pulled free from around your ankles, you let your legs settle with a nice, deep, fortifying breath.

Jeongguk stops your right leg from lowering and rests your ankle on his shoulder. He kisses and nips at the skin, tickling and taunting, with his eyes on you.

"Still nervous?" he asks.

And although your heart beats wildly behind your ribcage, you let out a shaky breath and mutter, "Only a little."

Jeongguk leans forward more, giving your leg a nice little stretch as it presses toward your body. His lips and teeth trail along the side of your knee, sending sparks shooting through you as he nibbles at the sensitive skin and inches closer.

You have hardly had a chance to comprehend the fact that Jeongguk is practically naked, sitting only in his tight, small briefs, and you let your gaze drink in everything before you. His body is muscular, with cute rolls of skin bunched as he slouches forward, slowly working his way to settle between your legs, and you cannot take your eyes off him.

And you wonder if perhaps he was so eager to get undressed when you said it made you nervous to be getting naked in front of your best friend as a way to ease your mind. Because that is the thing about Jeongguk, he is always looking for little ways to make you feel comfortable.

"Where did you go?" Jeongguk asks.

You blink and realize you have been staring at the top of his curly mop of hair while his mouth comes dangerously close to your pussy, and suddenly, you feel an overwhelming surge of arousal and anticipation on top of still being pretty fucking high.

"S-sorry," you mutter. "Drifted off thinking about you."

"But I'm right here," he pouts, giving you big, pretty doe eyes.

"You are," you respond through a heavy breath, acutely aware of the fact that he is right here, hovering between your thighs.

"Keep your eyes on me," Jeongguk commands softly. "Don't space out."

A hint of a chuckle rocks through you, though it is more of a nervous laugh than a humorous one. Despite hardly doing anything, he has you so worked up, and the fact that the high is causing the arousal to ebb and flow, dulling and becoming intense, has you feeling quite flustered.

Jeongguk lets out a deep, slow breath, wafting warmth between your legs. A small shiver works through you from the knowledge that he is so close; the number of years you have wanted him just like this are many, and the affection you feel for him is insurmountable. You hold eye contact as best as you can while Jeongguk sucks hard against your thigh, and the spark of ticklish pleasure-pain forces a huff of a small whimper to fall from your mouth while you do your best not to jerk your leg too much.

"Such a tease," you complain.

"You know what I want you to do, baby," Jeongguk responds, bringing the world to a screeching halt.

Baby. Oh, that definitely has a bigger effect on you than it should. This is bad for you.

"Please," you whine, because you do know what he wants you to do. He wants you to beg. "Please, Jeongguk."

"Please, what, baby?"

Your exhale is shattered around the edges, bursting heavily from your lungs.

"Please touch me."

"I am touching you."

"Jeongguk," you whimper in a last-ditch effort. Is he really going to make you say it?

Jeongguk simply raises his eyebrows. Of course he is going to make you say it. He is absolutely reveling in this moment—with sharp, intent eyes and his lips slightly parted, it is written all over his face.

Fuck it; you can do this. You can tell the person you love more than anything in the world precisely what you want. You will not die of embarrassment.

"Please touch my pussy, Jeongguk."

And god, it is so worth it to say those words when the result is Jeongguk's gaze simultaneously darkening and melting. He is holding it together rather well, but there are cracks in his foundation; you can tell that he wants to absolutely destroy you.

"That's my good girl," Jeongguk groans as he leans forward and nudges the tip of his nose over your clothed clit.

The pressure against you, mixed with his enticing words, playful voice, and all of the heavy, aching feelings you have—everything culminates and sends a wave of pleasure through you, melting you into the bed like hot wax. You squeeze your hands tightly, letting out a shattered whimper and angling your pelvis upward for more friction.

Jeongguk drags the tip of his nose and his lips over you, teasing your labia and clit through soft cotton. The movements are so faint and so agonizingly slow, and you fight the urge to be a brat and demand more. You also try your best not to beg. Yes, Jeongguk wants you to, but why should he get the satisfaction of knowing just how affected you are, so soon? Someone as competitive and confident as Jeongguk would only use it against you if you became a mess this easily.

But you are a mess. Jeongguk settles between your legs and blows warm air across your clothed cunt, and you sink further into bliss, letting out more sounds of approval and frustration. With a sigh, you cave in—you never truly had a passing chance at holding any sort of resolve.

"Please."

Jeongguk uses his nose to tease once more.

"Hmm?"

"Jeongguk," you groan.

"You smell nice," he mutters, wafting more warm air over you with a soft graze of his lips. "I bet you taste really sweet."

"Find out," you whine.

Jeongguk sits up, grabs your panties in both hands, and cocks an eyebrow with a devious smile as he has the audacity to ask, "Can I rip these?"

"Wh—no! These are my coziest pair!"

Sure, you could buy a whole pack of them at a bargain price, but this particular pair is the best of the best. Jeongguk must have lost his mind.

"But it would be fun," he whines, making you roll your eyes.

"Pull them over my hips like a civilized man."

Jeongguk grumbles, "No fun," and begins to tug the material over your hips. You lift and bend your legs, and he sits back, bumping into the headboard once more to give you room. Then he flings the garment off to the side and leans forward.

The look in Jeongguk's eye as your legs slowly drop and spread for him has warmth covering your chest, sneaking up your neck and cheeks. He looks intent and hungry, and he licks his lips.

"Look at you," he says, staring directly at your cunt as he settles on his elbows and gently uses his fingertips to spread your lips, making you squirm.

"You're so weird," you complain, antsy under his gaze.

Jeongguk ignores your groans and leans close, dragging his lips over your spread folds. With a soft flick of the tongue, he tastes you—sending a wave of pleasure coursing to your fingers and toes—then he closes his eyes and groans.

"Shit, you are sweet."

You wish more than anything that Jeongguk would stop talking. One more word of praise from his mouth, and you might actually go supernova and take the entire solar system with you. Luckily, Jeongguk seems eager to use his tongue for better tasks as he dives in for more, swirling and sucking over your clit in a pattern that makes you grip onto the edge of the mattress and let out a deep, pleased moan.

"Feels good," you whimper as arousal builds at a nearly embarrassing pace.

Everything about this situation is too much, and you let a shudder rock through you as your legs relax, spread further while your heels slide and dig across the blanket. Jeongguk also drops further and wraps his arms under your thighs, gripping your hips tightly.

Being held in place and devoured by Jeongguk feels too good to be true, and you tilt your head up to have a look at the mess of wavy dark brown hair between your thighs. Jeongguk groans as he licks and sucks, with brows knit ever so slightly, the way he does when he is savoring his food. The mere thought of Jeongguk savoring you sends you hurtling to new heights of bliss, and you squeeze your hands closed, gripping tightly to your wrist while the other hand holds onto the soft comforter.

Jeongguk glances up, meeting your eyes as he slowly licks a firm, slow stripe across your clit, causing your head to fall back into the bed with a moan that borders pornographic. You might be mortified by the sounds—by how quickly and easily Jeongguk has you unraveling for him—but the feeling is too good not to respond loudly in praise.

You climb close to orgasm—but not quite close enough. Your high still holds you in its clutches, and despite everything feeling intense and incredible, it is also a bit dull and hazed over.

"Ggukie," you whimper, smiling as Jeongguk growls in response. "Finger me, please."

One of Jeongguk's hands slides away from your hip, and you take in a deep, eager inhale. His fingertip teases your entrance, and when you glance between your legs, you find him slowly spinning his tongue over your sensitive bud while watching you with a smile.

"This what you want, baby?" Jeongguk asks as he presses forward, sliding his finger easily into your slick warmth.

"Fuck," you gasp.

It is what you want, albeit not yet quite enough. Still, the way he crooks his finger upward and drags it across your sweet spot has you clawing at the blanket beneath you—has your back arching slightly off the mattress.

Jeongguk pumps his finger in and out fast enough to have your hips trembling, and when he adds another, stretching you just enough to cause a hint of pain, your mouth falls open into a desperate moan. This is what you need.

"Yes," you whimper as Jeongguk's lips and tongue return to their eager ministrations and his fingers set a dizzying pace. "That's it, Ggukie; don't stop!"

With pleased groans, Jeongguk pulls you to the edge of mental collapse, and it takes absolutely no time at all to plummet into bliss. As you cum, your entire body quakes, and you attempt to keep your thighs from clamping shut, pushing your head into the mattress as your back lifts and your heels drag.

Jeongguk does not slow. The sensation borders overwhelming and too much, but you do your best to hold on and ride out this new type of high. At this pace, with the focused, steady rhythm of licking and sucking on your clit, you know that it will take no time at all to cum again, and you want it so badly.

Luckily, Jeongguk is on the same page.

"Once more, baby," he groans against you, and you squeeze your eyes closed as the high builds at breakneck speeds, never fully coming down from your first orgasm.

Rather than pressing in and out, Jeongguk changes his motion and thrusts his fingertips up into your erogenous zone. The sensation is engulfing—threatening to eat you alive—and you practically scream as the pressure sends you shooting into a new dimension of bliss.

"Fuck," you sob between moans, feeling as if you might absolutely burst. "Fuck, fuck, oh god."

This time, as you cum, you can hear Jeongguk's fingers squelch—loud and wet—punctuating each upward thrust as you sob and tremble against the bed.

"That's it, baby, coat my fingers," Jeongguk praises, leaving featherlight kisses against your clit and labia as he continues to finger you.

"What the fuck," you pant, feeling dizzy and overstimulated. Your body is covered in a sheen of sweat and goosebumps, cold yet burning hot, and you struggle to reconcile all the myriad feelings.

"Didn't know you could do that?" Jeongguk asks, still fingering you to oblivion as his lips, teeth, and tongue move to your inner thigh—tickling and making you squirm.

"Do what?"

"You soaked me. Can't you feel it? It was like...a baby squirt."

"A baby squirt?" you pant in disbelief.

Jeongguk takes a firm bite into your thigh, making you nearly kick him in the ribs, then he chuckles as his lips return to hover over your pussy.

"What's the matter, baby squirt?"

Petulance rises—nearly overtakes the steady flood of pleasure—and you open your mouth to warn Jeongguk to never call you that again, but all you can manage to say is, "Don't you fucking da—ahhhh—" as his tongue laps over you as hungrily as before.

You have no idea where one high ends and the next begins, and you fight the urge to grab him by the hair and pull him away, feeling so completely swallowed whole by overstimulation that you nearly scream. How the fuck is he capable of making you feel this way, this easily?

"It's too much," you whimper, heaving each breath from your lungs as you tremble from head to toe.

"You sure you can't cum once more for me?" Jeongguk whines, gazing at you with wide, pretty eyes.

You want to say yes—want to give him absolutely anything in this world that he may wish for—but you are far too sensitive, and you bite your bottom lip as you sheepishly shake your head no.

"Awe, does baby squirt need a break?"

Despite being too fucked out to fight with your best friend who just made you cum at least twice—though you are unsure what you were experiencing toward the end—you sit up and land an open-palmed smack across his chest. Jeongguk grabs you by the wrist and yanks, falling back against your headboard with a wide, satisfied smile and sparkling eyes, and you allow yourself to be pulled onto your knees before toppling forward against his warm body, straddling his thighs.

"Don't call me that," you pout, feeling your own release drip from you, proving the nickname to be truer than you would like to admit.

"It's fucking hot that I can make you so wet," Jeongguk groans as his hands find your jaw and gently pull you into a kiss.

Is this what the two of you are, now? Best friends who kiss? Unabashedly and without preamble or explanation? You love being able to nibble on his bottom lip and fondle his metal jewelry between your teeth, pulling out all the sweet little sounds that you never imagined would come from him. Never like this.

"It felt good," you groan when Jeongguk's lips move to your jaw and neck. "It felt really fucking good."

"Yeah?" Jeongguk responds, sucking his lips against your neck until you attempt to wiggle out of his grasp.

Jeongguk pulls you close and kisses lower, to your shoulder. This time, when he latches on, finding a far less sensitive spot, you allow it.

"Yeah," you respond as your eyes lose focus on the brown wood of the headboard. "Fuck, I knew you'd be good, but that was..."

Your words die in your throat as Jeongguk's hands grab you by the ass and pull you onto his lap. Beneath you, a very firm erection sits nestled between your thighs, and you roll your hips downward to tease. Despite the way Jeongguk made you feel with his mouth and fingers, you are far from satiated. The moment you get your bearings, you need more.

The whimper Jeongguk lets out makes you groan, and you take him by the face and pull him into a deep, needy kiss, detecting your own heady release on his tongue. Jeongguk relaxes, loosening his grip and holding his mouth agape for you to taste as you please.

"I need to fuck you," he whines against your lips, sending a shiver down your spine.

"Is that so?" you respond before sucking his lip between your teeth, tasting a hint of metal.

"Been wanting you for so fucking long. You have no idea."

You smile as you say, "I'm the one who waited thousands of lifetimes, remember?"

Jeongguk squeezes your ass with both hands while rutting his hips up enough to tempt you with his erection.

"Lay back down," he groans, and you shake your head, reveling in how quickly his pretty lips tug into a frown.

"Not so fast," you purr as you begin to slide back, out of Jeongguk's eager grasp, leaving wet, lazy kisses on his jaw, neck, and clavicle. "It's my turn to taste you."

Jeongguk's hands fall to his sides, and as you begin to wedge your knees between his, he spreads his legs, giving you space to settle. Your lips skim over his nipple, pulling sweet gasps and sighs from his mouth, and the lower you kiss, past his abdomen, to one of his hips, his breath comes out in harsh gusts.

Just knowing that you affect him like this makes you all the more eager to completely unravel him, and you waste no more time, slipping your fingertips beneath the waistband of his briefs while fanning warm breath over his clothed cock. You tug the material gently down and drag your lips over him, teasing him just a little as he had teased you before. And when your lips touch something small and hard, you freeze and lift your head.

"Jeongguk..." you begin, surveying his bulge, which has many small, hard, circular bulges along its length. "...what is this?"

"I never told you about those?" Jeongguk asks, and you can hear the amusement in his voice.

In all your years of friendship, you were positive that Jeongguk—your Jeon Jeongguk—has never kept anything from you. And yet, here you are, staring straight at a very big secret. When the fuck did your best friend get his dick pierced?

"N-no," you stammer as you pull the band of Jeongguk's briefs down, exposing quite the surprise, indeed.

Not only does Jeongguk have an impressive cock—long and thick with precum beading at its pretty, reddened-brown tip—but you gently pull back his foreskin to reveal a row of four barbells along his shaft, as evidenced by the eight little metal balls that hold them in place.

"Wh—when did you—"

"Surprised?"

A scoff rocks through your chest, and you look up at your best friend. The bewilderment must be evident, and he chuckles as he gently rubs his knuckles over your cheek.

"Felt like a weird thing to tell you when I did it," he confesses with a soft smile.

You feel affronted, and your mouth falls open.

"Why?"

Jeongguk shrugs.

"I was dating someone at the time, so bringing up my dick felt...weird. Especially since I got these because you..."

As Jeongguk trails off, his cheeks flush, and you watch as his life flashes before his eyes.

"Because what? I what?" you ask, feeling warmth rise to your cheeks, certain that you know where this is going.

You are into this sort of thing. Jeongguk had to listen to you drunkenly rant far too many times about the ex who did you wrong but had a dick piercing that was hard to part ways with. The thought of Jeongguk taking that information and getting his own piercings...and multiple, at that...that does things to you.

"Jeon Jeongguk," you groan with a smile, focusing your attention back to his very hard, pierced cock, which rests neglected and leaking against his tummy. "You are full of surprises."

Before Jeongguk can respond, you lean in close and lick a firm path from the band of his briefs, along his shaft, teasing the jewelry with your tongue before lapping at the precum that has spilled over onto his tip. Jeongguk lets out the softest, neediest moan, causing you to involuntarily clench every muscle between your legs.

"Damn, Ggukie, you sound so pretty," you praise before sucking the head of his cock between your lips, feeling the muscles of his thighs tense beneath you.

Just a taste of his salty release on your tongue spurs you to take him as far into your mouth as you can, and you lay your tongue flat, snaking it side to side when you finally settle with his tip buried close to your throat, nearly cutting off your oxygen. Jeongguk moans and trembles as you drag your tongue over velvety skin and metal. Absolute perfection.

You waste no time and set a steady pace, sucking your cheeks in once he is deep in your mouth, and swirling your tongue along his shaft as you pull out. Jeongguk moans incoherently, letting consonants and vowels fall at random as he grips gently to the side of your head, clearly doing his best not to rut his hips too hard or touch you too firmly.

And perhaps now, with your best friend's cock between your lips, is a strange time to think about how fun it is to learn this side of Jeongguk and wonder just what the dynamics between you two could be—what whatever this fuck this is could blossom into. But the idea that the two of you have crossed this line, and that he is so good at making you cum, has affection bursting and blooming behind your ribs, and arousal pooling deep in your guts. You are also still pretty fucking high, which is no wonder that your mind keeps wandering.

Realization hits—your gag reflex is dulled when you smoke—and you open your mouth just a little bit wider and take Jeongguk's thick, pierced length a little bit deeper. This time, Jeongguk's grip ends up tugging some of your hair, which only spurs you to keep his cock firmly in your throat, pressed deep until you have no choice but to come up for air.

"Fuck," Jeongguk groans, "baby this is—"

Needing to breathe, you concede to lifting your head, holding your tongue out flat as thick strings of drool connect your lips to his tip.

"Huh?" you ask sweetly, batting your eyelashes, watching as the last remaining thread of Jeongguk's sanity slips away.

"Can I fuck your mouth?" he asks, kiss-swollen lips agape and eyes eager-wide.

"Sure," you reply with a shrug as if it is nothing, holding your mouth open as Jeongguk settles high onto his knees and positions himself. "Just don't hold my head too tight...in case I need to breathe."

Frantically, Jeongguk nods as he slides his hand to the back of your head, pulling you close. "Of course, yeah," he mutters, already adorably fucked out and blushing before he has had a chance to cum.

You rest your palms flat on the bed, back arched and breasts spilling from the small mesh bralette as one strap slides past your shoulder. Jeongguk places a hand under your chin and cups your cheek with the other—almost comically gentle considering he plans to fuck your mouth.

With your tongue hung flat and wide, pooling drool at the tip, you stare up through your eyelashes. Jeongguk has a look on his face that screams affection—warm and wanting. Desire drips from your pores as saliva dribbles to your chin, and when Jeongguk lifts his thick, heavy cock to set gently on your tongue, your fingertips dig into the comforter beside your knees.

"You look amazing," Jeongguk groans as he slowly thrusts forward, pressing in, in, in, dragging metal over your tongue. His jaw trembles as the tip slides into your throat, and you swallow around him, pleased with the lack of gag reflex, if only for the sweet satisfaction of watching him crumble above you. "Shit, baby, you look so fucking good."

Jeongguk holds himself in place and stares down at you with a reverence that makes warmth flood to your cheeks. He pulls back slowly, groaning as his eyes intently watch the movement, then thrusts forward a little harder, gasping as his cock tickles the soft skin in the back of your throat, and whimpering when you swallow around him.

"Tap me or something if you need me to stop," he mutters, already sounding completely lost.

You attempt to nod and flutter your eyelashes, which are already beginning to bead with tiny tears. Jeongguk curses under his breath, pulls out, then thrusts back in. His piercings are surprisingly pleasant as they slide—big enough to be noticeable but not enough to snag, though you keep your bottom teeth guarded, just in case.

The hold on your face and chin become firmer but never rough, and Jeongguk works up to a steady pace, always pushing just far enough to pull lewd sounds from your throat—coating himself in thick saliva—but never so far that it causes discomfort.

Watching Jeongguk's abs flex and bead with sweat as he ruts and swears and gasps causes arousal to pool between your legs and flood your system. You want him to pin you down and fuck this delicious, pierced cock into your cunt until you are cross-eyed and speaking in tongues.

Thankfully, his composure already seems to be crumbling. The grips of his fingertips are alternating too firm and slipping away, and his hips are losing their rhythm. To help him along, you attempt to tighten your throat, and you moan with each thrust, sending your praises vibrating over him.

Jeongguk's head lolls back and to the side, then he fixes you with a desperate stare. Panting and sweating, with reddened cheeks and a crazed look in his eyes, he gives a frantic, affirming nod and groans, "So fucking close, baby. Can I cum in your mouth?"

You attempt to nod and mutter something that somewhat resembles, "Uh-huh," and Jeongguk's lips break into a pretty smile as he tightens his hold on you and ruts his hips forward a little harder.

"Fuck," Jeongguk moans, dropping his head back. His voice sounds like heaven, and you moan in response, eager to hear more.

Although his movements are too rushed, too out of rhythm, and even slightly too rough, you hold your mouth open and stare up, attempting to let oxygen through your nose while your fingertips dig into the comforter.

Jeongguk moans as his length twitches and pulsates in your mouth, whimpering your name like a prayer and pulling out just enough to cover your tongue in his release and lend you some airflow. And for the first time, you nearly gag. The first spurt of the viscous fluid hits the back of your throat and trickles thickly down, and you fight the urge to cough, doing your best to swallow around it. When he finally pulls out and sits back, you breathe in through your nose but hold your tongue flat to show him the mess he has made, all for you.

"Fuck, you are perfect," Jeongguk groans while placing two fingers against your cum-covered tongue.

Jeongguk gazing at you as if you are a treasure to behold with tear-streaked cheeks and a drool-covered chin, juxtaposed with his fingers playing with the mess on your tongue, sends a flurry of emotions through you. And despite how soft he is with you, this entire scene feels somewhat humiliating. The grin breaking on Jeongguk's face suggests that he knows what you may be thinking, confirmed by him pulling your jaw open just a little wider and spitting into your mouth.

A gasp works its way through your chest, and you stare at your best friend with wide eyes. He has the temerity to chuckle.

"Swallow my load like a good girl," he coos sweetly as he removes his fingers from your mouth and sucks them between his own lips.

This entire scenario is so debauched it makes you feel dizzy, and you close your mouth and swallow the mess on your tongue, feeling trapped somewhat in slow-motion.

As your high begins to dissipate enough to lift what fog had been draped heavily over your mind, you feel a new sense of eagerness take its place. The attitude of, I need to have him in any way I can is slowly melting into something akin to, I need to make him a whimpering mess of a man.

"Sit back," you command, getting high on your knees and reaching to gently shove Jeongguk toward the headboard.

He chuckles and fumbles onto his butt, then slowly inches back until he has nowhere left to go. You crawl forward, straddling his legs with your hands and knees, one breast hanging from the mesh bra, then settle onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and slotting fingers into his pretty, wavy hair.

"I'm not hard yet, baby," Jeongguk whines, as if you couldn't tell.

With a devious smile, you lift your hips until his soft cock is situated just below your pussy, and you slowly rub yourself over his pierced length.

"I know," you groan, nipping at his bottom lip. "I'll make you hard."

Jeongguk sighs into your mouth, then pulls you close—splayed hands gripping at your back, desperate, as if you might disappear.

"I got you, Ggukie," you mutter against his lips, warm breath hitting your smile in a soft sigh, "I'm right here."

Kissing Jeongguk with remnants of his and your cum on your tongues feels like savoring the aftermath of a hurricane. And with storm clouds looming overhead, threatening to flood you completely, you can only accept your fate and gladly welcome what is to come; the two of you are far from finished with one another.

Slowly, Jeongguk becomes erect beneath you, and you make your soft, gentle movements a bit more measured and forceful. Jeongguk whimpers into your mouth, tangles his tongue against yours much more eagerly than before, and you swallow each little sound whole, licking and sucking against his tongue and lips until he is dropping his head back, out of breath.

"I can't wait to fuck you," Jeongguk groans as you trail your lips to his neck and suck faint, dark marks into his skin.

"Not until I get to fuck you first," you respond—a promise and a threat.

Jeongguk groans as he asks, "Oh, yeah?" and you chuckle as you say, "Yes."

"Alright," Jeongguk concedes, gently rubbing his hands down your sides before his touch disappears entirely. "I'm all yours, baby."

Curiously, you trail your palms down the length of his arms, finding them both wedged behind his back. With a grin, you rock your hips against him a little harder, feeling his cock part your pussy lips and cover itself in your wetness.

"If you're a good boy, I'll let you fuck me however you want."

All Jeongguk can say in response is a deep, needy groan. You roll your hips back slowly, dragging yourself over his hardening length, then reach with one hand between your legs while anchoring with the other on his shoulder. Jeongguk shudders as you gently grip the head of his cock and angle him upwards enough to find your entrance.

Although you have done absolutely nothing, each breath heaves from your lungs, and you hover a moment gazing at Jeongguk—sweat-slicked and blush-pink, staring back at you so sweetly.

"Ready?" you ask in a hushed tone, feeling your dominance slip away briefly.

Jeongguk nods, gives a soft smile, and groans, "Please fuck me," and you lower yourself, giving in to his request.

The stretch of Jeongguk's pierced cock is just painful enough that your back bows, and you shiver through the sensation. Moans fall from both your lips as you take him, stopping only when you are fully seated in his lap with him buried deep inside you.

"So fucking tight," Jeongguk groans at the same time you whine, "Fuck, you're so big," and you chuckle in tandem, leaning forward enough to rest your foreheads against one another.

Without allowing either of you to adjust or catch your breath, you lift your hips and drop them down, spearing yourself on his thick, delicious length. Your voice is pitchy and broken, moans practically tumbling out as screams as you set a pace that is dizzying and rough.

Jeongguk's head falls against the headboard with a loud thunk, and you take the opportunity to wrap one hand around his throat while gripping his shoulder tightly in the other. With a gentle squeeze, Jeongguk's eyes widen before rolling back, and you slide your fingers up to hook into his mouth and force him to look at you.

"Louder," you moan through pitchy sounds of your own. "I want to hear you."

Perhaps it should come as no surprise that Jeongguk is so obedient; you have always wondered if there is a submissive side to him, as well. He lets you tug on his jaw and begins to moan deep, pretty sounds, and it sends a flurry of arousal through you—determination to push him to give you more.

"Your pussy feels so fucking good," Jeongguk groans, slightly slurred around your fingers.

Eager to cum, you grind yourself down, pressing the tip of his cock right where you need him. The hand you have anchored on his shoulder drops between your legs, and you dance your fingers in circles over your clit, pushing yourself over the edge.

With a desperate moan, Jeongguk's head nearly falls back once more, and you hold him firmly in place, feeling drool slide from his mouth to your palm and wrist. You continue to grind and roll your hips, feeling yourself teetering just on the edge of collapse, rutting roughly against him.

"Such a good boy," you praise teasingly through gasps and moans. "Letting me use your cock to get myself off."

Jeongguk appears to begin saying something—wrapping his lips around consonants as well as your fingertips—but all he can manage is a broken, "Mmmnaaahh—" incoherent and useless, and pretty enough to inch you closer to the precipice of pleasure.

"That's it," you groan, slamming your hips up and down as you chase your high, "fuck, I'm gonna cum."

Pleasure grips you, white-hot and intense, and you quake as you ride him, struggling to force your legs to continue moving. The sight, sound, and feeling of Jeongguk have you absolutely reeling, and everything settles in your chest and gut, heavy and big and ready to explode.

"Fucking squeezing me, shit, so tight, baby," he groans as your fingers slip from his mouth and fall to the side.

Your hips still as your pussy continues to flutter and squeeze through orgasm, and you lose your strength, crashing forward against his shoulder. Jeongguk wraps his arms around yours, pinning them to your sides, then adjusts his legs and begins thrusting upward, hard and fast, making your head spin.

A cacophony of moans punctuated by screams fall from your mouth as you are pushed past overstimulation and quickly chasing a new high. Jeongguk lifts you and leans forward, attempting to place you on your back, though you scramble and more or less fall, spreading yourself wide while he shimmies onto his knees and takes his place between your legs, pressing warm palms gently against your thighs.

"Good?" Jeongguk asks—too big yet too small of a question for you to fully comprehend, so all you do is blink up and nod your head. He chuckles. "Do you need a break?"

"No," you croak, shaking your head almost frantically. "Fuck me, Jeon. Need you."

With a deep, eager groan, Jeongguk leans forward and fills you in one swift motion, thrusting while adjusting on his knees, tugging and lifting at your legs until one is draped over his shoulder and the other is wrapped around his hip. Jeongguk leans forward and brushes his fingertips over the apple of your cheek, gazing soft and reverent; so gentle compared to the brutal pace at which he fucks you, making your head absolutely spin.

"You feel so good," Jeongguk whimpers sweetly, squeezing his eyes closed before widening them, gaze fixed down on you. "So fucking good."

Words fail you, but you make an attempt, huffing a string of vowels, with some consonants mixed in, stuttering around, "Good," and, "Big," and attempts at his name. You bury your face in his soft, warm hand, huffing warmth into his palm while your eyes flutter closed and you sink into pleasure.

Fingertips graze over your clit, tentative at first, then direct. Your back arches and you gasp as arousal breaks and bursts throughout, coursing through your blood, filling every inch of you. Still not fully down from your last high, overstimulation vibrates through you, but you do your best to take it; you want him to make a mess of you.

When Jeongguk pulls out, it takes you by surprise, and you open your eyes wide, jutting your lip out in a pout. Jeongguk chuckles and begins to scoot toward the edge of your bed, standing and yanking on your ankle to reposition.

"Your bed is the perfect height," he says as you scoot and rotate, spreading your legs for him once more.

Your hips hang off the very edge at a slight downward angle, spearing you on his length, and you squeal as he thrusts straight up into your sweet spot. The pace Jeongguk sets is merciless and intoxicating, and you claw at the edge of the bed as your eyes flit between Jeongguk's sweaty, ripped body, his pretty, fucked out face, and your off-white ceiling.

Every vein and ripple and piece of metal drags along your walls, spilling nonsense from between your lips. You grasp at the comforter, attempting to hold on, feeling as if you could turn to goo and sink to the floor if you are not careful, but the material slides uselessly between your fingers.

A strong pressure builds, threatening to burst, which you recognize as the feeling you had before the baby squirt. Every inch of your sweat-slicked skin burns red hot, your eyes roll back, and you begin to heave through heavy lungs.

"Gonna—" you gasp, voice raspy and broken. "Fuck, Jeongguk, I'm—"

"That's it, baby, let me feel you cum," Jeongguk commands, leaning forward and driving his cock impossibly deeper. Sweat drips from his forehead to your tummy, tickling as it falls along your side, and you shudder, feeling all the more overwhelmed by the faintest sensation.

Although you do not need the encouragement, you place a hand between your legs and slowly drag your fingertips over your clit, up and down, pulling the intense wave of pleasure through you. You squirm and squeal, mouth held open in a silent scream, and Jeongguk's hips tremble and quake before he pulls out and drops to his knees, burying his face between your thighs and pulling the last of your orgasm with his lips and tongue.

Your legs fall without him there to hold them up—they may as well have turned to overcooked noodles. Jeongguk grips your ass, attempting to keep you from slipping off the mattress, but you are at too odd of an angle to do anything but crumple to the floor.

With a chuckle huffed between his lips as he stops you in time for your feet to hit the floor, Jeongguk firmly presses your hips into the side of the mattress as he stands, lips and chin slick with your release. You chuckle and wrap your arms around his neck, and he wipes the back of his hand over his mouth before leaning for a kiss.

"I almost came," he confesses against your smiling lips.

"Figured," you tease, nipping at his little metal ring.

"Not done with you, yet," Jeongguk mutters, licking and sucking at your mouth in a way that is far too comical, making you push against his firm, sweaty chest.

"How do you have so much energy?" you groan, although you have no desire to stop. His silly nature is whiplash, however, and you feel shy standing in the nude beside your bed, still coming down from your last orgasm.

Jeongguk's smile softens, and he wraps his arms around you, pulling you close. The sweat on your skin is beginning to turn cold, and you shiver in his hold, hugging him tighter.

"I could fuck you all day and night, baby," Jeongguk mutters.

He absolutely could not, but the thought brings goosebumps to your skin, especially with his voice dropped so low. You like that he wants to fuck you endlessly—that he feels for you the way you feel for him.

You hum against his neck, tasting salt on your lips, and mutter, "Do it, then," as you nip at his skin.

Jeongguk groans, lolling his head back for you to drag your lips and teeth over him. Then he grabs you by the hips and lifts you back onto the bed, using enough force that you actually bounce, gasping as you anchor yourself onto your elbows and instinctively open your legs.

"Want you on your knees," Jeongguk commands as he prowls forward, caging your hips with his muscular arms.

You scurry backward, then twist somewhat haphazardly, limbs still noodle soft, though you have gained a bit of your energy. The mattress dips behind you as you get onto your hands and knees. You hear a groan as two palms spread you, and as his tongue laves over your sensitive cunt, and your arms begin to tremble while a choked sob falls from your lips.

"Can I eat your ass?" Jeongguk asks as his thumbs gently brush the skin around your rim.

"Yes," you mutter, desperate to feel his tongue everywhere, "please."

Jeongguk squeezes at your soft flesh as his tongue dances over your puckered hole, and you tremble forward, falling onto your elbows with your face buried into the comforter, adjusting to a new, incredible sensation. He devours you, gently pressing his tongue into your hole and groaning as he licks and slurps and drools.

His mouth leaves you, then his hands, and you attempt to anchor yourself higher onto your hands once more, but the press of his cock entering your cunt from behind makes you quake, and you collapse forward, face turned with your cheek squished into the comforter. Try as you might to get your bearings, all you can do is scramble as Jeongguk rubs one palm along your back while he begins to fuck you fast and deep.

Cold saliva hits your ass as you hear the unmistakable sound of Jeongguk spitting, and you gasp, arching your back as the liquid slides over your rim, teasing you with the faintest touch. Then the press of a fingertip breaching your hole makes you squeal, and you grip tightly to the blanket, overwhelmed in the best way.

"Is this okay?" Jeongguk asks, and you nod frantically, desperate.

"Yes, please."

More spit dribbles down, sinking you further forward, and Jeongguk slowly prods his finger into you, twisting at the same tempo his cock pounds into your cunt. With one hand, you reach between your legs and graze your fingertips over your clit, and the wave that crashes over you is sudden, causing you to nearly scream.

"Fuck," Jeongguk groans, undoubtedly feeling you squeezing around him as you plummet toward total physical collapse.

Jeongguk breaches your hole deep, probably past the knuckle, stinging so perfectly. You sob through it, hot and thick, drowning in lava. His piercings drag over your sweet spot, and you feel pressure build much like it had before, only more intense and dizzying.

Your orgasm takes you by surprise, suddenly rushing and snapping through you like a wire pulled tautly. Your hand drops from your clit, and you scratch blunt fingernails against the bed as your high continues to build and rush, build and rush, gushing from you in waves.

Jeongguk's finger slides from your ass, then he uses both hands to grab you by the arms and lift you, sitting you high on your knees. From this angle, his piercings drag deeper and harder, grazing along your walls and blinding you with more pleasure, squelching from how wet he makes you.

"That's it, baby squirt," Jeongguk has the audacity to say at a time like this, "don't hold back. Fucking cover me in it."

And you would find the nickname a lot more annoying if you were not gushing cum around his cock, splashing your inner thighs and undoubtedly, the bed. Your mouth hangs agape, but you only manage to squeak and sob, tears filling your vision and clouding the room, which is covered in a thick, blissful haze.

Jeongguk's hips quake, losing their rhythm, and he grips tighter, pulling you until your back is pressed against his chest, head gently hitting his shoulder with each thrust.

"Gonna fill that tight, messy cunt," Jeongguk growls into your ear, covering you in goosebumps. "Gonna make you all mine. Is that what you want? To be mine?"

Reeling and struggling to move your lips, you manage to stammer a weak, "Please," that is broken around the edges.

"Good girl," Jeongguk praises, teeth dragging across your shoulder. "So good for me."

Jeongguk thrusts hard, knocking the wind from you as you jolt forward, thankful to be held in his tight grasp. When his hips still, the sweetest, pitchiest sob falls from his lips, which clamp onto your shoulder, sucking and whimpering against your skin as he empties himself into you.

The room spins, and you feel yourself slipping forward, helped down by strong, warm arms until you are lying against the soft refuge of your bed, drifting slowly away. Lips gently press into your shoulder, and you attempt to turn and face him, but Jeongguk is still buried deep inside you, and he wraps his leg over yours, pulling your back flush with his chest, holding you close.

"Wow," you gasp, unable to stop the soft chuckle that works through your body as the room begins to return to focus and the sheen of sweat covering you turns cold.

"Yeah," Jeongguk responds, lips dragging over your skin, lazily pressing affectionately along their quest.

"So...that just happened," you find yourself blurting, suddenly feeling shy, shivering in his grasp.

Jeongguk's limbs wrap tighter as he buries his face into your neck, muttering, "Yes, it did."

And now that you have fucked your best friend and poured every ounce of yourself into the task, you are acutely aware of the fact there is no turning back. Whatever line the two of you have crossed, you are stuck on this side of it for good.

Jeongguk clears his throat, huffing what you think may be a quiet laugh against your shoulder before dragging his lips over your skin, making you shudder.

"So, uh..." he begins, dancing his fingertips delicately over your hip as his soft cock slips from your cunt, bringing with it a combination of both your fluids, "...what, now?"

i know i mentioned glasses jk but there weren't photos that fit the color scheme for the banner, so here's a reminder.....bc even in potato quality he is still 🔥🥵😩

thank you for reading!

i do have a part 2 in the works but it may be a little bit before i get to it. let me know what you think! feedback and reblogs are the lifeblood of this hellsite. and likes are nice, too! 🥰

tags: @beautifulcloudfestival @btsiguess-kpop @codeinebelle @dasexydevitt13 @giriiboyy @jihopesjoint @mgthecat @moonleeai @m1sss1mp @pamzn @spookyminyunki @thelilbutifulthings @yoongiofmine ☁ want to be tagged in the things i write? dm me!

#thebtswritersclub #btshoneyhive #bangtantheatrenet #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook scenarios #jungkook x y/n #bts smut #bts fluff #fic: what now?

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