#dont talk to me about it either unless were friends lol

[homo-house]

godspeed - shayfer james // teenagers - mcr // a little life, hanya yanagihara // oyasumi punpun // tokyo ghoul // the comfort we find in our vices - eidola // a little life

[transmaverique]

gonna be honest I see anyone talking about this "my gender is more complicated than yours" shit as someone who genuinely cannot comprehend that other people that don't share certain traits with them can still in fact have rich interior lives. as an agender trans woman who uses she/her I've never had anyone say it to me who wasn't (usually unknowingly) transmisogynistic

see but im not talking about "rich interior lives" and the assumption that i am is exactly what im talking about. i am talking about the actual physical way that reality treats and percieves me in comparison to the way it treats and percieves you. saying my gender is "more complex" means to me that i am physically incapable of existing in a strictly binary world and that there is no thing i can pass as bc "binary man" and "binary woman" are both incorrect for me. and the Cisiety in question does not allow androgyny to exist - it is exclusively the timeframe people have to decide whether they think you are a cisman or a ciswoman, or a failure and a freak. i dont subscribe to that "binary privilege" shit, thats not how privilege works. but there are differences in the ways both you and i can navigate this strictly binary Cisiety!!! and those differences deserve to be named, imo

like. again. i dont have to comfort you about your own internal sense of gender before youll listen to me about my experiences in the real world as genderqueer. as a different sort of transsexual than you.

(and bc i Know what binary ppl love to say: i know not everyone is 'capable of passing'. what i am talking about specifically is the difference between being unable to pass as a cis woman or a cis man vs being unable to pass bc what i am does not exist AT ALL in a binary society, and both of those things are incorrect ans unattainable.)

(anyways if that language is too imperfect for you thats like fine but. its just confusing to me, i dont get why its hard to understand what we are talking about here. our experiences w our nonbinary genders are completely different! why do i have to discuss them like theyre the same?)

[lace-sutures]

☆Everything seems to be in order...☆

✽ ᡣ𐭩ˋ°•*⁀➷ 🌸

Ah! Welcome, may I see your authorization? 🌷

✰✰✰ Everything seems to check out! Now, what was it you said you were here for again..? Right! My name is Cinema, but you can just call me Cinna or Cin. Please keep all personal belongings put away and we can begin with the tour of The Greenhouse! ✰✰✰

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

As FishCity's botanist, I am set with the wondrous task of ensuring habitability and tending to the many plants. No, no.. They aren't for sale. Anyway! Feel free to explore on your own now if you'd like!

quick disclaimers and important info:

-i can and will draw selfship with my wife rise!donnie so if you dont want to see that, unfollow/block OR block the tag #selfship and you wont see any of it!

-my art requests are open

-interact with me! i swear i dont bite..(,,¬﹏¬,,)

Additional stuff to check out:

My pronouns and what to call me! 🌸 What's playing in my headphones? 🎧 700 DTIYS 🎨 #rottmnc - more coming! 🐈 #tmnt cin - me! 🎬 Donnie with other purple characters! 💜

Important people to know in FishCity:

The Mayor

The Train Conductor

Friend tags! (More TBA)

#corrupted file 📄- @mr-urple (big bro!!!) #ocean documentary 🪸 - @atomic-rattz (little bro...) #sweet n sour 🍋 - @hahawasabi #alien sighting 🛸 - @reddbug27

Navigation:

#rolling 🎥 (my art) #backstage 🎭 (my refs) #previews 🎞️ (ask replies) #talking during the movie {yapping) #5 stars 🌟 (reblogs) ------ #gifts 💌

boundaries and other stuff! ⇩(PLEASE READ BOUNDARIES BEFORE INTERACTING)

-> requests

i probably wont draw your oc

i wont do canon x YN requests unless i specify otherwise - i will deny/ignore you if you request it anyway. i understand you like the characters (i really do) but i just dont want to draw this kind of content as of now and i ask that you respect that.

...please dont beg or be pushy/send multiple asks with your request

if i havent responded to your request, i probably just dont want to do it or i do and am getting to it when i feel motivated

id prefer requests be primarily (rot)tmnt but if you want to request something related to any of my OTHER interests i wont mind（• ∇ ＜)

i am very obviously not going to be doing nsfw.

my commissions arent set up at the moment

the way that i personally do requests is that i get to them when i get to them. im most likely not ignoring you!!! i work at my own pace.

-> art usage

feel free to use my art as a pfp/banner etc (credit appreciated<3)

i dont mind if you repost as long as you credit me

do not edit/modify my art

do not use my art in edits

um.. i dont think this should be an issue but dont sell my art?

you can draw any of my designs but id prefer you didnt claim them as your own haha..please @ me if you do use anything id love to see it <3

-> boundaries

t/cest in/cest & proshippers fuck off. seriously, block me. this includes casey jr x turtles. dont joke about this shit either

^I do not count april but i probably wont draw any april x turtles anyway (he's married to me)

vivziepop (hazbin/helluva etc)

if you send me your art in my inbox and it doesnt pertain to me (like it just has nothing to do with me, just using me for clout?? idk its happened) i will probably answer privately. i love ur art but you cant just use me as a way to post it! if you want to show me something(again, if its just something unrelated and you want to show me)id prefer you tag me

i do not support ai art. if you support it or are neutral please block me. if you want to start making real art but dont know where to begin or need free resources, check out this post. (or this resource post)

if we're not close be mindful of what you send in my ask box lol. i am a minor. it makes me uncomfortable if youre sending me suggestive images or something like that (especially if i dont know you very well)

DO NOT VENT IN MY ASK BOX. i dont really know how to respond.. im witewawwy just a girl im not your thewapist im sowwy💔💔

i frequently call rise donnie my wife/bf & draw selfship (sometimes) so if that bothers you im sorry ;w; when i do draw selfship i try to tag it properly so it can be filtered !!!

im still an inexperienced artist, so i probably wont be able to give very good advice if you ask (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

feel free to tag me!

dms are open

-> other interests!

project sekai (if you want to play just ask for my id<3 im almost always up to it! i main jp but i do have en.)

vocaloid/utau/synthv & jpop

^ i am kakizaki yutas #1 fan !!!! listen to his music right now

hoyoverse (genshin, star rail, zzz, hi3)

little nightmares

skullgirls

YTTD

osomatsu san

metal family

bee and puppycat

jshk/tbhk

tadc

psych

ddlc

ptp

mitm

sotl

breaking bad

heathers the musical

...and more but this list is already getting long

stuff in here is subject to change! thank you so much for reading! (youd be surprised how many people dont)

[idealism-world]

(second image is a transparent so this doesnt take up ur whole screen) YOU CANT JSUT ACCUSE PEOPLE WHO DISAGREE WITH YOU OF BEING GROOMERS OR BEING GROOMED INTO DISAGREEING WITH YOU

just saw an absolutely fucking insane post abt how op is worried abt endo supporters who are adults as they will groom children. hey just wondering what the fuck. are we doing "group i dont like are groomers" for discourse stances, now

[fuck-customers]

CW: mentions of religious trauma, homophobia, etc

real cool how my coworker, who knows we have 25 minute breaks, stays gone for nearly an hour and a half. we do have enough people here, because reasonably, we literally just need six people, but instead we have like thirteen.

but like. why are you gone for almost two hours unless you were doing classes or talking to the team lead, man. i know you don't want to be here -- again. reasonably. nobody else wants to either, i'm about to leave this job for the company BEHIND the building bc better pay and actual unlimited overtime i'm not getting written up for. lol. beats me if you ask! i dont know either -- and everyone's upset about it. however the team leads and HR won't do shit about it, which is great.

also thought she was a friend because i was explaining how i have religious trauma due to my dad, etcetc. and she just goes "oh i think you're an abomination but who am i to judge" and ive never been so upset bc she's the first person i've met at a job where we liked the same things but she, despite me explaining all that about my religious trauma and telling her people where we are typically use it to spread hate instead of any sort of love, which has turned me off of it for so long, tells me that shit.

i'm really upset. genuinely. because it really fucking sucks that i felt comfortable enough to share these things with her and she tells me i'm an abomination. lol. lol.

Posted by admin Rodney

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - February 6

24 anon, outlet anon, spoon anon, 8 years anon (new), lawyer anon (new), guess anon

24 anon

hi cas, its 24 anon again. its been a while so i dont know if you remember lol. my friend had her baby and i still haven't met him (mostly bc ive been horrifically sick since before she even had him so im not about to give them whatever germs i have lol). i kind of feel like im at my breaking point lately. ive not cut her off entirely, but i have distracted from my friend a bit because i went into her having a baby trying to think 'this is a major thing and she's going to be down and out for a while so she obviously wont be trying to make plans' but apparently i was wrong bc im seeing posts on facebook and snapchat of her going out and doing things and having get togethers with her other friends and im just. i dont even hear about these plans let alone get invited to anything ever. i dont want to sound entitled to her time and effort but am i really her 'best friend' if she never wants to hang out or talk to me unless i initiate and plan? if she never tells me a single thing about her life and im always the last to know? if ive talked to her about this time and time again without any change whatsoever? im tired of talking to her about this because i know it wont change anything. my best friend had a baby and i wont ever actually get to know him. my heart is genuinely broken. i dont have any other friends to talk to. literally. at this point in my life i have lost every single friend ive ever had except for her but apparently ive never really had her to begin with. im so tired of being fucking lonely but i dont know ehat to do anymore. ive never been able to make or keep friends and i feel like im going fucking crazy. what is it thats so wrong with me that makes me consistently not worth peoples effort to keep around? i feel like im victimizing myself right now but i genuinely feel like i try SO HARD to maintain friendships - talking to them, trying to make plans, etc. etc. and that just never gets returned back to me. im tired of pretending im fine with that. im just fucking tired. i havent been able to talk to my therapist in months and ive only had myself for company for YEARS. i cant fo this anymore cas

Hi <3

Honestly I can relate to this SO much. I have a friend who I was very close to who had a baby a few years back and it's definitely changed our dynamic. Imo, the problem is now, we have different priorities. And that's not WRONG, it's just how it is, so it's changing how we interact.

I don't think my friend hates me and I don't think your friend hates you either. It's just one of those things where like...people get hurt but nobody means to hurt anyone. And it's very hard not to take things personally but it probably isn't as personal as it feels.

I know none of this makes you feel any better, but I just want you to know I'm going through the same thing and I understand. If you ever want to talk about it, please feel free to DM me- I'd love to have someone to talk about it with too <3

______________________

Outlet anon

Hey Cas, outlet anon here. I need help.

So I'm staying with my mother for a few weeks while my place gets some work done, and that means I'm in the same house as Al, which is fine and whatever. I don't acknowledge him, he doesn't acknowledge me. It's a mutual understanding and has been for years. Or so I thought???? He addressed me BY NAME for the first time since I was THIRTEEN to ask me to move my laundry, and he didn't yell at me when I ignored him the first two times. We haven't even spoken since I was thirteen. He's also been talking at me and saying things for my benefit. Like last night, Al and my mother were watching robot fighting with my siblings and I went down to see what was going on because I heard them yelling. Al saw me and told my mother to rewind the TV so I could see the whole fight. I didn't express any interest in the show nor ask anyone to rewind it. He just... did it??? I don't know what's going on or what he thinks is going on. I'm going to keep right on ignoring him and pretending like he doesn't exist, but like thoughts? What should I do? What do you think is going on????? Help??????????

Honestly, it's great that Al seems to be trying to be nicer, but I'd be a bit weary. Like don't be rude to him about it or shit on him for being nice, but you don't suddenly need to be nice because he is. You're allowed to to take some time to build trust (if you even want to). The way he's treated you in the past doesn't warrant instant forgiveness (unless you want to, of course), so just go with what feels good to you and don't feel guilty for however much time you need. And if he ends up getting pissed about it...well, then he didn't really change in the first place.

_________________

Spoon Anon

hi cas it's spoon anon

well i've been looking at self diagnosis tests like yk those online quizzes you have. some say i have a lot of symptoms of autism and others say that i have low-medium autism so idk atp. according to the oxford cbt self assessment quizzes, i have medium-high anxiety and depression and low-medium autism and adhd.

and i've been thinking if i should maybe actually go to a psychiatrist and see if my suspicions are correct. but then there's the part where i need to convince my mom. there's a major school event happening until the end of february so maybe i'll ask her if we can go sometime in march? several of my friends have actually seen psychiatrists and i'll just say that i want to just check once if there's anything that i might be diagnosed with.

i'm going to go out on a limb here and ask if you think i have autism or not from what i've told you. adhd there's a pretty low chance of me actually having that i don't really show any symptoms except getting distracted easily. depression and anxiety, if i'm going to be honest, maybe. idk my country's culture has given me a skewed view of what will actually fall under a mental health problem.

Hi! I think asking your mom is a great idea. It sounds like it's really important to you to know for sure, so I think you absolutely should.

As far as what I think...I'm sorry hon but I'm not a professional and I don't know you very well. But like I said I think it sounds super important to you to know for sure, so you should def ask to get evaluated.

___________________

8 years anon

This actually takes so much courage to type this out but I feel like this is the right place to say it and plus I don't really know where else to say it.

So sometimes my bestfriend (of 8 years) really just ticks me off in a really nasty way. Like I feel awful every single time I feel this way but sometimes he just does stuff that like I don't know if he does it intentionally or not or if I'm just overreacting but sometimes he like takes things I consider "mine" ?? If that's an okay way to put it? I feel like there's just some things that he just starts to develop stuff from me and don't get me wrong, obviously friends are gonna develop things from each other (especially of 8 years) but I feel like I've only really noticed it within the last year or so.

For example I'll mention that I like a music artist very very briefly and like the next time I see him he's totally engrossed himself into that person's music and is saying "oh _ is my favorite song from them!" When like 3 days ago he didn't even know who they were.

Or on a game that we both play theres like 60-70 characters and there's 2 people that I constantly play and he wanted to try out new people which is fine but then he chooses one of the two I play??? And buys a skin for them within like 2 minutes of playing them??

And like there's a certain way I dress and he mentioned wanted to get more into like some things I'm into like okay that's fine and then he becomes more obsessed with it than me?? I don't even know anymore my girlfriends both agree with me and understand what I'm saying cause sometimes he does the same thing to them? This feels like a lot and it feels kinda childish when I type it all out but I'm genuinely lost and you seemed like the best person I could go to.

lots of love cas ❤️❤️

Hi!

I can definitely understand how you feel, but I think this is something to talk to your friend about. I think you need to figure out why it bothers you so much and why he seems to be so drawn to everything you do. Does he just admire you? Is it coincidence? Does he have low confidence?

And I think talking to him about it is important because this type of thing can lead to resentment, you know? So saying something like "I've noticed you tend to like a lot of the same things I do, right after I mention them. Is there something you like that you can share with me, too? I feel like we only ever talk about my likes?" might help to gently call him out without causing a fight.

__________________

lawyer anon

Hey Cas, I hope you're doing well!

I love all your microfics😭they're so well written.

Sometimes I'll be reading a random microfics that popped and I'll think "this is really good!" so I go and check the user and its usually your stuff <3

For context, I'm 2 months away from 15 and a girl.

I was talking to my dad and complaining about school and joking that when I was fifteen I am legally allowed to drop out. I do this a lot.

My dad was joking and saying I've got to stay in school so I can become a lawyer and earn lots of money.

I told him the usual stuff like I don't want to be a lawyer and why would I.

He then proceeded to straight up tell me I was ridiculous and I was really confused and I asked him why.

Apparently I was _overreacting_ to the joke he told, which I had answered non seriously.

It just seemed like he was treating me like a much younger child and it honestly seemed kinda sexist.

This is not the first time stuff like this has happened. I recently went on a trip to my mum's side of the family and it was really nice talking to them because they actually seemed interested in my life and didn't just ask me, "How is school."

I know my dad loves me and this is a minor issue and some people have it much worse but it just really bothers me.

Honestly I feel like you're at the age where some people start seeing you as a person becoming an adult while others see you as a child. And that's a hard age because you want to be treated more like an adult, and it feels frustrating when that doesn't happen. People don't see you're starting to think about more mature things and you're thinking about the real world. It sounds like your dad might still think of you as a complete child. Is he the type of person that might respond well if you say "Hey, I'd like to have a serious conversation about this. I care about this topic and I want to talk about it seriously"?

________________________

Guess anon

Hi Cas

Guess Anon again

He keeps messaging me and asking how college is and asking if i need any more books (i told him no)

I have a careers meeting tomorrow and if i get anything good from that then i may tell him and tell him my next steps (but only if im feeling brave)

Ill keep you updated!!

Honestly that's such a good idea. Having a plan is a great way to like...deliver unwanted news in a much gentler way. Please keep me updated!!

[jazzyblusnowflake]

Is there a ship you DON’t like? From what I've seen you seem to like many, even J x N from what I understood!

hmm. good question uhhh XD k here we go uh.

i dont usually like to talk about ships i DONT like because i dont wanna ruin anyone elses experience- its just unnecessary and unless somone asks me specifically i wouldnt share.

[also under cut cuz i ramble alot lmao]

can you tell im very enthusiastic about shipping and character dynamics? 🥺👉👈

now codegold and Jenvy and fullcompany or Luzi or Vhad even are all crackships, hell even Jessa is almost in the crackship area because some of the characters involved are either not fully developed or did not have any significant screentime and its up to the fan/consumer/writer to make their own assumptions and character developments.

i vibe with almost... most crackships? lol, because the fact that they are between characters who have very little canonical and/or meaningful interactions, therefore as a writer i get to think and develop my own interactions where... things yknow... "DEVELOP" XD like how some ppl take backgeound characters from mlp and give them and entire lore and backstory XD

like J and Tessa and even Thad who were very one dimensional and barely there. we cant even talk about J cuz liam straight up assasinated her entire poor fucking character. she has no rhyme or reason or purpose for doing any of the things she did thats why its not easy to like her for the sake of liking her.

meanwhile everyone likes villains like azula, idk catra, bill cypher, invader zim- not necessarily cuz they "have backstories" but because they made SENSE in their respective settings and what people KNEW of them. J.... J makes no sense 😭 Liam essentially didnt give us anything on her for us to connect any dots about her- especially not after somewhat hyping the character up to be AS important as the other cast but then she was just... literally tossed in the scrap dump of the planet. also Thad and a bit of Lizzy and Doll- ive been trying to develop them for a few weeks now for my MD re-writing plans and it has been HARDDD they make no sense in a setting where everything is just for gags and jokes.

but i digress- what i mean to say is- i like crackships cuz i get to MAKE the characters as i enjoy them >:"3 i love writing and doing character studies!

this all being said... i dont blame people for disliking a ship. for some reason shipping characters from shows fucking takes away years of your life- esp when you see one you dislike and your brain cant even bring a goddamn reason for why you hate the ship in the first place- so i genuinely advise people who dislike a ship to just avoid it- breathe XD maybe block the tags- dont interact so the algorythm doesnt try to bother you- tell your friends to not talk about it with you maybe- and overall internet hygiene- you dont need to try and convince yourself to like it unless you want to- but dont bother others about it.

and with all this being said now the ships "I" personally dislike are...

Vizzy, Noll, and Khori....

.....yep.

i wont elaborate on WHY i dislike them so much to the point that i had to unfollow some people just to maintain my sanity, but the thing is sometimes brain isnt convinced with "logic" so big whoop 🤷‍♀️ such is life. hope people who enjoy them have fun tho<3

hope this was helpful 👌

[gomzdrawfr]

Gomz rambles about something again so feel free to scroll pass :]

Recently had a video recommended to me on youtube and gave it a watch: how you play games is how you do everything so I wanted to give some thoughts after watching it

for starters, the video was pretty simple and straightforward and easy to watch, it got me thinking how true that statement is and I started reflecting a bit.

I rarely play games any more, simply because sometimes I couldn't bring in the time and commitment to games like I used to be, or that it feels like I'm completing tasks instead of enjoying the game (kind of what the original author felt)

That applies to some games I've played in the past, Minecraft, Valorant, Dont starve - when I play a game, I clock tf in LMAO I just tend to focus so much on it that everything else didn't matter. I guess irl this applies to me too, whenever I want to do something I make sure to put in 110% into it, very meticulous with completion and deadlines and ensuring the work I do are good quality, I spend time on researching every single questions or queries I have and yeah just, being into something. Though lately, I've dialled down a bit and take it easy (bcuz stress isn't fun)

Honestly, in another aspect, say Minecraft again, I used to be very active in a community, being the lead builder and just pumping out ideas and making builds after builds while still having fun, I loved brainstorming idea and vomit it out in blocks, being able to use part of my interest that are less relevant in my studies to something else, you know? but ever since the said community grew larger, I got overwhelmed and stepped away from the people. They're great friends, really, but sometimes it's a lot when a friend circle grows.

Reflecting this to irl, I tend to work in smaller groups and have a close-knit of friends instead of many friends. Better yet, working alone or just with another one person. It's easier to focus and manage things. Another takeaway would be, I guess, is the way I tend to walk away when things gets more than what I like, or can handle.

I used to be part of a group of friends online too, I liked what we had going, we were silly we were honi (lol) and things were more light-hearted. But as more and more people join, I started feeling overwhelm or a sense of disconnect. There's a lot going on, like a bouncing ball started yeeting against each surfaces at lighting speed and I can barely catch the ball kind of feeling.

I wouldn't say it's entirely their fault, it's mostly myself, which is more comfortable in controlled or slower pace(despite being hyper as well- brainrot goes brrrr). I guess what sucks the most is also watching a friend who liked hanging with another person that you don't really vibe with can be uh something(idk what or how to describe it, it's not jealousy either). The main issue is always around the aspect that I like person A, B, C and F, but not the rest of the bunch. Yes, I could bring it up, talk to them about it, and then highly possibly creating drama and beef with that process (relationships are so fragile). Knowing the people I was dealing with, I decided to just leave quietly (which, to no one's surprised, caused drama itself too - sigh)

I do miss them sometimes, the people I like talking to and be friends with, some of us kept the connection, some burn the bridge for good, some remains a mystery.

That brings me to another aspect in decision-making games, where I tend to walk the passive, most diplomatic route ever to finish the game. Well because irl I hate dealing with conflicts XD I also lean towards neutrality most of the time, unless it's something important then only I pick a side strongly. Using persuasion, communications and understanding, compromising and delegation to let a project or anything really(like relationship) run smoothly. Some of this cost my sanity, patiences and often, gaining less from the agreement lol

I stopped caring more than I do, I stopped trying to please everyone in the room after going through some stuff, and I learn to let go a lot of things because of those experiences, which for now feels like a good experience for me (Literally my page motto is my life motto, it is what it is)

This also made me think, that I am a person who likes to stay the same, more often than I'd like to admit. I mean this by saying like for example, no matter how many times I play Stardew Valley, I will follow a similar route. If irl, the mix rice shop I visit for almost 4 years now? I'll pick the same veggie and meat choices everytime I go there. I find comfort in repetition, I like following the same pattern, I enjoy being safe in a known routine.

If i want to ramble about this, I do like to change sometimes, explore different options, pick a different route etc. But, only if I finished the "foundation" first(both in game and irl)

So for example, stardew valley right? I tend to go min max route, getting my greenhouse and my plants, relationship, all those jazz to maximum first before I actually try something else. What's funny is the something else can be as small as picking a different spot to fish, wearing a different hat, try defeating the dungeon without espresso(that was awful) or romance other people(I still love Harvey more than anyone, sorry Sebastian, I do love the frog though)

Same with Minecraft, Im a builder yes, but I also grind a hell lot in the game, building industrial district and shit ton of farms to get whatever I need.

I think this is kinda reflected irl, where I like to have a strong stability of foundation before I try something different, something that is not part of the route Im used for. It's like once I am sure that our project presentation has the right amount of slides, informations and delivery, then only I try and test out animations, maybe some infographics and whatnot. Same with patient counselling, I usually follow a flow strictly in patient information gathering because that is what we were taught in University (name, age, height, weight, etc), but one time I decided to switch it up a bit to and try to make small talk in between info gathering (like when a patient tells me they're married, instead of moving on I congrats on their marriage instead) and has found it a nice experience and change of pace. You may find this a silly or heck, an obvious thing that I should've tried, but you need to understand every video, notes and lectures always follow a systematic manner with stuff like this. I've only started incorporating this style after being in the med course for like, 2 years, so when I transitioned to Pharmacy, it came naturally to me when it comes to building rapport with patients. The patients and lecturers love it, because the process can feel more like a conversation rather than an interrogation you know, it feels more lively, more empathy and whatnot. I hope to continue to improve on this actually, Im really happy that one of the change I made on an impulse stick through and benefitted my career.

Id say one bad thing with this habit (with how I approach change) is sometimes I miss out opportunities and again, missing out the fun. Heck, sometimes the process to finish the "foundation" itself feels like a chore that sucks out the fun from games. Like rn with tears of the kingdom(totk), I like collecting Light of Blessing to get more hearts and stamina, but god- totk is so much bigger now compared to the first one, and I got overwhelmed and stressful to play the game. So I dropped it on my previous semester break. (I wanna go back to it one day, hopefully)

This kind of also tie into something Im aware of, is that I get weary and overthink in the face of uncertainty. Like there are a lot of places in totk that I have yet to explore, because I have thoughts like

oh shit does this have important story plot? wait what if im suppose to go place A before going place B first? will it mess up the timeline? oh no that place is new what the heck let's just put a marker first-

you get the gist, same applies irl too. An invitation to quizzes, participating talk shows or experiments, most of which I usually don't attend in fear of my lack of skills or just, nervousness in new environment. There's always a lingering thought that I am not good enough to go to events that clearly, required skills and competence beyond what I have. Im no 4 flat student, hell my cgpa is shit lmfao, the only thing Im good at are soft skills and maybe level 1-2 clinical judgments. I still regret that one time I didn't join a community event where they've explored and talked about stem cells intervention, they had a whole freaking lab!! of cells!! like in the movies!!!!!!!!! ok anyways

Idk what im tryna say with this ramble, I just wanted to share and relate my experience to the video, maybe this is like a self reflection. I've been trying to be better at managing some of the issues I talked about, building confidence or maybe facing confrontations instead of dipping entirely.

If you read till here, thanks I guess! maybe you can relate to me or maybe you just wanna read my yaps, either way I appreciate it :D if you want to share your thoughts or experiences as well go ahead!

[goldenhickeysandramen]

Thoughts..

I've been a bit busy with real life lately 😂 Altought I didn't get to see the latest Festa events until last night… I already had some thoughts piled up....

To whom it may concern :))

The fist and most important....now that the Festa has already finished, can someone explain to me why on the 10th anniversary the boys who are still with us couldn't gather together?

Why the schedule was to do separate things? the fuck...

We fans know they are in chapter 2. No one was going to be confused by seeing an ot5 or ot4 vlive. Or a dinner.

I know they didn't have to, but striving for doing things separately, when they clearly see each other almost every day (NJ dixit) .....

I love Stray Kids and I'm enjoying their come back a lot. It's been a little over two weeks and every day there's a performance or music event, fansigns, videoconferences, behind the scnenes and they've already released 4 MVs. It's very refreshing… and by comparison, a bit sad. It makes me realise, even more, the lack of content from BTS and their members.

(And I am not only referring to this chapter 2)

Second thought is that I just saw that New Jeans have announced their CB on July 21st, and their pre-release on the 7th.

I find it very difficult that JK will release his album in July (in the middle or just after NJ), unless Hybe doesn't care if their artists overlap (I know, I know what happened last April… but we're talking about 1 week difference).

Third thought. Tae and Jennie pretending they don't know each other at the Bruno Mars concert, as if we didn't know they are lovers, seems pretty sad to me too.

Even understanding that it's some short of protection against the future release of Tae's album (dont make his fans angrier)… the truth is that it seems ridiculous …

Let's see… if what happened in Paris "didn't happen" for some fans… what could have happened yesterday if they had gone together, with their shared friends,ñ???? It probably wouldn't have happened in the eyes of the fans either 😝 Stupidity is rampant in fandom…. I'm sure there would have even been a few likes for those who said they were cosplayers 🤣🤣

One last thought on jikook… They are daily training in Hybe (Namjoon dixit) and seem so happy lately…. And here we are suffering this drought without seeing them…. LOL Manifesting to see them at Suga's concert together!

[topconfessions]

lol @ those anons giving u shit for keeping it real and not being a biased delusional fan who will eat up whatever half assed fan service their faves say or do

also..... do they think you're like. new to this????? i urge that/those anons to go take a longggg look at this blog and see what year u started posting. like you've BEEEEENNNN here you're probably the oldest still active top related blog on this site. and you're still here like wow!!! i appreciate this blog so much, and i trust your opinion/insights into who he is as a person

i think u have a lot of credibility to your name tbh, like i said, all it takes is to check out the date of some of the older posts. i'd take your word for it any day over the fairly new and fresh impressions of those who literally only JUST found out about him

like you people have known him for 15 minutes, we've been here for 15 YEARS!!

Girl it comes with the territory. They're just flies on the windshield lol. I feel indifferent and neutral. It's 2025 not 2005. Not 2015 either. We barely have anything to go on anymore minus GD performance he did at that award show recently where he got crap for potential lip syncing (but we know their sound team is ass). I'd accept the trolling if we were like ateez, seventeen, nct or bts and actively had so much content for the BB guys like the old days or MADE era, but we don't.

I think I mentioned it long time ago but I was like everyone else here I WAS DEEEEEEEEEEEEEP into TOP & BB. I lived and breathed BB especially him. Ultimate bias, Ultimate crush, I had a MASSIVE FOLDER of allll his pictures. Dated a guy who loved TOP too and we would write fanfictions together about our fave idols. Made friends back then through BB. So much man. You couldn't tell me shit about them cause I would stab you with a fork if you didnt praise them lmao.

I would stay up late at night to watch the mama awards and other shows that would happen online. It was an amazing time but it wasnt healthy compeltely cause it...I can't put it into words how it does something to you mentally but mentally and emotionally it keeps like a hold on you.

I kinda realized I lost a lot of my teen years and other years just being engrossed in TOP. I don't regret it at all cause he was great and I loved every bit of it but then you get older and realize on a bigger scale they dont matter anymore unless something like this show pops up to breathe new life into one of the members.

So I've been there. I've been through it all. I was even there and so immersed into 2ne1 vs SNSD. Wonder girls and 4minute. GD & Kiko saga..gd & dara ship, gd and CL ship. Minzy and Bom issues. I was there before blackpink ever existed.

Shit I remember when Jay Park started AOMG for the first time. I remember the first time we saw Lee Hi in that competition show. I was there when hyuna came out with bubble pop. I lived and breathed it girl. I was there when girls day came out with female president and expectation then something. I was there when Sulli was still good with FX and didnt have the dynamic duo cruty motherfucka grooming her. I was there when Lee Hyori was the bluerprint for all these baddies solo baddies today and I was there when Hyolyn & Ailee were deemed the good vocalists. I was there when Dean dropped bonnie and Clyde for the first time and was a pretty boy. I was also there when Zico had the girl from AOA running to his apartment to hook up lmao.

So I'm not talking out of my ass. I feel you can have a foundation and general love for an idol but overtime especially decades, come to see them change and see hidden sides of them you didn't know existed then develop opinions of them that arent always fluffy.

People forget a lot of folks lives were saved by kpop back then and today. Some people wouldn't be alive today without their bias. I'm sure he's gotten people through tough times like hes gotten me through tough times and good times. But I will say I wish I could take a lot of that time back and invest that love & energy when I was in school into myself or hobbies. A life lesson learned.

AND THANK YOU! 15 YEARS SIS! THATS A WHOLE PERSON LMFAO. Thats the span of a highschool students life. Idk. I guess I believe in tough love.

[rat-rosemary]

if you're done talking about it that's absolutely fine, I was asleep so I'm only seeing things now lol

I also don't click on people's profiles unless I either want to see more art from them or I'm curious about people posting things like c!K*rlnap*ty in 2024 (seeing the date on posts) and then go to their blog to see their pinned post has a massive aggressive dni on it for dteam stans

it did put me off, but I never thought it was you doing it on purpose, it was more me realizing there is more crossover between dreblr and d*mpblr than I thought these days, since people I know *aren't* drantis are in circles where they will see and reblog that

so I think the anons are right when they say interaction with drantis, but also importantly, you're operating on the assumption that interest in the smp can be separate from content creators (which is correct) vs I think a lot of seasoned fans tend to assume that unless you're actively posting about the c!dteam or c!rivals, you're statistically likely to be a dranti. Absolutely everyone on here is blocked more than you think so don't feel like you're being singled out 💚

in solidarity with your experience being blocked liberally, there's someone who blocked me literally a week after I made this account and I had no idea who they were at the time (and can only guess at it now since I've never seen them directly), but it seems like all my friends are also their friends so it's a little funny

Oh yeah....

I always loved C!Karlnapity but most of the artists who used to draw it have moved on (and I hope they're having a wonderful time on the hermitcraft fandom, because they were truly kind and wonderful people) but the people who still doodle it now and then.... eh...

I'll admit I havent look at some of those profiles on purpose. I'll also admit I've reblogged art out of spite

Also, sadly I don't think there's much crossover between dsmpblr and dreblr. Well, there's one or two blogs I know who will reblog a lot on art focused on other characters, but in reality we dont interact with those people much and they dont interact with us either outside of one or another person who sends an ask because they're curious about our analysis of C!Dream, specifically

(I personally feel like it's a shame that we dont interact much, because we lose a lot of connection and strength. I also fully understand why we dont interact much because as much as I'm always talking about rebuilding bridges in the dsmp fandom, a lot of people are just h7ge dickheads)

(I am still not over how a lot of people do not seem to understand that calling someone a slur is bad. You're homophobic. You're not reclaiming or making a joke you're just homophobic and using the slur as a slur)

Idk, its hard to split Dream from a lot of people's arcs, and there's nothing wrong with being interested in those relationships. Maybe I am just more used to being around Dreblr much more then Dtblr

I would say I know that people aren't blocking me because I did something, but the truth is that I'm a pussy and the horse is very powerful so the anxiety of it gets to me, even if logically I know it's nothing personal

[salsakiyoomi]

Hi Hi congratulations on 1k!! Could I have a matchup with a jjk guy?

Personality-wise, I’m an introvert and have to go a few days without talking to people after prolonged socialising but I'm friendly and have no problem talking to strangers. My hobbies are volleyball, swimming, drawing, and sleeping. I’m usually either active or in bed there is no in between lol. In terms of vibe, my friends tell me I have a princessy/bit of an airhead vibe since I dress girly and am a bit slow with jokes (I am a virgo though). I'm a perfectionist with myself but laid-back when it comes to other people. I'm usually ambivalent about most things and dont have a strong opinion about anything unless I fixate on something. I always look at the bright side of things and I love love supporting people in their passions. I don't like conflict but I don't have a problem facing it head on and prefer to talk things out. My favourite season is spring but early spring, when the flowers are blooming but it's still a bit chilly outside.

My ideal type is someone protective and good at deciding things. I also need someone I admire. My love language giving is physical affection (since I hate it normally) and receiving is quality time (not spending a lot of time together but making the effort to see me). My favourite trope is a soft version of enemies to lovers? More like girl is slight tsundere but guy keeps appearing in her life to mess with her but is also only soft to her.

I'm not sure if that made sense but thank you for the event! I hope you have a nice day :)

HONEYMOON MATCHUP WITH : MEGUMI FUSHIGURO

— honeymoon :

– megumi is not one that usually makes friends, new friends at that, he is simply content with the ones he has, no need to add more to the list, right? that's how he saw it anyway, until he saw you — it felt so surreal, almost like a dream when you walked in through the school gates, you were a new kid, he could tell from the way you kept glancing all around you and fiddling with your fingers, probably nervous by the new environment as gojo showed you around, but then your gaze caught his and you threw him a friendly, awkward smile and in that moment — he knew he was doomed because your smile was so pretty and your eyes were so appealing with a glimmer in them that he just couldn't not be attracted to you — and he hated himself for it.

– despite what megumi promised himself not to do — he became friends with you, or rather you became friends with him due to mutual connections and he couldn't refuse you, so now the two stuck together like glue — on missions, after school when he'd walk you home, exchanging lunches during breaktime and even laughing at some of your jokes — and eventually, he fell for you — even though he also promised himself not to do that but how could he not? your laughter was like a drug to him and your eyes were like a sea he could get lost in and in the long run, you two started dating.

– it was, slow at first — he had to get used to your hugs and kisses ( he is deprived of physical affection ) and he did eventually — he wasn't good at initiating it though, but whenever he found himself craving your touch, he'd brush his hand against yours so you'd hold it, and usually you do, with a soft laugh you take his hand in yours and pull him down for a kiss to his cheek — and on other days when the weather would get chilly and you'd forget to bring your jacket, so you're left shivering and cold, he'd silently offer you his jacket and you take it, putting it on yourself and then pulling him into a hug, mumbling sweet nothings as you bury your face in his chest, engulfed in his comforting scent, and it was nice to say the least, megumi could get used to this.

what's on the radio : cherry, lana del rey

a/n : megumi is so baby girl, ty for the request <33

[hamausagi]

YES IT IS LIKE THAT AND NOW I WANT ALL OF THEM FOR YOU TOO I AM EYES EMOJING U SO HARD RN

YAYAYAY I AM EYES EMOJING YOU TOO

What is your nickname?

i don't really have one these days, but i suppose jake or august are still two of my favorite names i go by ^^

When is your birthday?

10/21/03 <3

What was your longest relationship?

1 year and 2 months (ended) (thank god)

What is your favorite book?

six of crows - leigh bardugo !

What is something you're insecure about?

the way i speak LMAO i cringe so much hearing my own voice or hearing the things i say. i feel like im so socially awkward and i hate it so bad 😭😭😭

5 Male celebrity crushes

uhhhhhh i dont rlly keep up with celebs like at all anymore but i used to be literally head over heels for chris pine when i was younger HELP

5 Female celebrity crushes

ZENDAYA and maybe saorise ronan ???? (help me i dont rlly care abt celebs)

What is your dream job?

concept/character artist for a game company !!!! (and to make my own games) (which i am currently working on)

What do you consider your biggest accomplishment?

finding out about my dream college last september after literally never knowing about it prior (besides a friend making an offhand comment abt it in like. 2017 that i forgot abt), finishing a portfolio in less than 2 months, and getting accepted LMAO

What is a fact about you that nobody would believe?

i used to play indoor and outdoor soccer year round, my indoor team competed in a lot of big brackets for the state (i now play no sports and i can barely go up more than 2 flights of stairs or run more than a few meters without dying) (thank you asthma and anemia 💪)

What were your highs and lows for this last month?

highs: FINSHED MY FRESHMAN YEAR OF COLLEGE WAHOOOO passed all my classes 🔥 made some new friends :D (and regained some old)

lows: uhhhhh mental health struggles mostly

Where is somewhere you'd like to visit?

i reeeeeaaalllyyyy really wanna go to japan so bad. im literally japanese and ive never been there, and i have family there ive never met that i want to see

How do you de-stress?

sleeping, drawing, playing some games, bothering the bf, gams with friends (unless its helldivers) (then i am stressed more)

What are your favorite apps besides tumblr?

pinterest my beloved <3

Describe yourself in one sentence.

good intentions, but poor execution

What do you think makes you attractive?

uhhhhh i have big eyes, smallish waist ???? i really try and prioritize other people (help i rlly dont know how to answer this)

What is something you're really good at?

drawing :3

What is something you're really bad at?

cooking LOL (im trying to get better)

A time that you told a lie.

telling the kid in my prj group that it was okay after he apologized for being literally the worst group member i have ever worked with (he literally did NOTHING and almost cost us the project several times)

What's a totally random and useless fact that you know?

bearded dragons can puff their eyes out along with puffing their chins when they get scared or feel threatened (thanks to ron for scaring the absolute shit out of me one day) (i thought he was dying)

Who knows you the best?

either my bf or my irl best friend :3

What is your most prized possession?

a wooden box my dad mae me a really really long time ago. that or this little sterling silver flip flop necklace my grandpa gave me a few years before he died when i was a kid

What is your longest friendship?

with my irl bsf, been friends 13 years now

When did you first feel like an adult?

either when my dad finally started actually swearing when talking to me or when i changed my car's oil myself for the first time

Do you/ Have you played any sports?

played soccer for like 11 years and did archery for 5 :3

How are you feeling right now?

im really tired and my cramps are killing me 👍 but im chillin

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

night owl even tho i rlly wish i was an early bird so bad. no matter when i go to bed or how many hrs of sleep i get its so hard to wake up before 9 am bro

Do you believe in love at first sight?

for ocs? yes. irl? absolutely not

Favorite song lyrics right now?

literally loving all the lyrics in a feeling - whxami but more specifically i am thinking abt waiting room - phoebe bridgers "if you were a teacher, i would fail your class take it over and over til you noticed me if you were a waiting room, i would never see a doctor i would sit there with my first aid kit and bleed"

also saw a robin edit to espresso - sabrina carpenter and now my brain is IM WORKING LAAAAATEEEE CAUSE IM A SINGERRRRRRR

What does self care look like for you?

taking showers and making myself food. i hate actually taking showers but the post shower untainted clean feeling is so unmatched bro its the best

Describe yourself with 3 singers.

RONEN, wave to earth, and two door cinema club

What makes you nervous?

meeting friends of friends (meeting new people is fine but its scarier if someone i know is introducing me), going to people's houses that i don't know very well

What’s a pet peeve you have?

trying to talk to someone but getting dry ass responses or no response at all

What will always make you cry?

bro. those tiktoks that are like. "if you know yourself which one are you picking". oh my god. those destroy me so bad

What kind of first impression do you think you make on people?

i honestly have zero idea bro 😭😭 if im meeting people at school im probably a little overwhelming (im loud asf at school) but if like. im meeting my friends parents or my bfs friends. i am a ghost

[gnometa233]

I think it's really telling that that person took "Don't assume someone is queer based on their appearance" as "Just looking queer does not mean you're actually LGBT"

Instead of yknow, the part that affects me every day of "There are queer people around you who don't look like a walking pride parade but are still very much LGBT"

To anyone who sees me I probably just look like some tall gamer girl nerd (okay thats a bit of a givaway that im a trans woman but thats with meta knowledge) but like I experience gender and sexuality counter to the social norm, so maybe dont assume that someone isnt LGBT just because they dont look like a dictionary portait of flagging.

I know I'm super fucking tired of people assuming I'm not a lesbian just because I'm not masculine presenting or wearing my pride flag pins that day and everyone thinks feminine women MUST like men. RRGHHH...

Unless you're that person who seems pretty insecure about it lol

Or hell, even just talking about the fact that you engage with lgbtq+ culture and support smaller lgbtq+ artists (many of which are my friends) means the most interesting thing about you is that your lgbtq+. Like, wow, i can't believe learning and giving back to people who need money to survive have no personality

Clothes have always been a source of contention in the lgbtq+ community and it still is today. Blend in? Stand out? Flag each other? There are advantages and disadvantages to both.

And you're absolutely right. I think people have forgotten the art of stealthing, which I know a LOT of people do. One of my friends i met in physical therapy looked like your normal, jock, average teenage boy, until i learned he had already completed physical transition and was on T for years prior. Another one of my friends looks like a stock, computer nerd guy, but they're nonbinary (and possibly a trans girl, they're thinking about it, but either way I'd support them, you'd actually like them I think!), Another one of my friends looks like your standard straight girl who sometimes wears croptops, and she's bisexual!

I think what bothers me the most about that post when they responded to my tags is the fact that they were so...dismissive. The sort of implication there is that everyone should want to signal to other lgbtq+ people that they're lgbtq, or else they're boring. Which can be really, really damaging, especially to those who do want to remain stealth.

Anyways if that person thinks i'm boring, let them. Sucks to suck, but I know I have a rich, inner and outer life and diverse interests. Some of us didn't realize we were lgbtq+ until later in life. We had to form a personality.

[myrfing]

ok i think the difference between you and the average emet fan is that like. you see the ancients as a symbol of a society that could never exist. so emet's tragedy never really lands for you. and emet fans see the ancients as characters in their own right and so they ignore the whole "well they were too stagnant and didn't handle tragedy properly so they deserved to die" aspect.

they see hermes' test as something incredibly cruel bc they imagine it happening to their own friends and family. and they enjoyed endwalker because suddenly you see the ancients as people just living their lives, instead of shadowy aspects of emet's memories. whereas you refuse to see the ancients as people like other characters in ffxiv, so you don't see anything wrong with killing them off because they failed a test.

so that's just two interpretations of the story. but why do you keep seeking out emet fans and getting mad because they read the story differently from you? shadowbringers is like five years old by now, you can't change anyone's mind about this

huh! I’ve always been pretty vocal on the “ancients are pretty much just like any other people minus strong magical powers” as the entire basis of my interpretation and that the story of the sundering is not about “deserving” at all, but still that hydaelyn, meteion, amaurot, the ascians, and the mortal struggle all represent things and that endwalker in particular tries to examine them metatexually.

as for your 2nd problem, i dunno, go punch “ffxiv” into the tumblr search bar now and scroll and you’ll find the post I found exactly the way I found it. I’m not seeking out opinions I disagree with; they’re just there wherever you go, and if you chuck it in the main tags, I assume it’s free game. I went in there to look at art because I’d seen cool artwork recently lol, but that doesn’t mean I’m not in the mood for story discussion either. I also crop out names and dont respond directly because even if I think it’s “fair game” to comment on, I don’t think people are necessarily trying to provoke a response nor am I going to single out or attack the people themselves who have lame ass interpretations of the story unless they come to me first.

I’d like to put my ideas out there because I like seeing discussion of the story and especially discussion that moves beyond “were the ancients bad or good (or morally gray lul)” and instead uses what ideas they establish to talk about things I find cool like the “ultima thule” thing, like the god-asking-you-to-kill-god thing, like the meteion-as-a-representation-of-despair thing, like the connection between amaurot and garlemald through its founding father thing. I also think that all of xiv is a cohesive narrative; it’s weird to me that you think I’m specifically talking about shb, when in my mind, if anything, I was talking about ew. Is there an expiration date on when I’m allowed to do so? If you disagree with me, sure, I don’t know you man. It’s not actually that personal even with the goofy shit talk. I assume plenty of people say the same about me. I do this stuff mainly because I find it fun, like how people arguing about sports teams or music or cooking find it fun; but if it’s aggravating you, you can stop seeking me out for it!

[yxstxrdrxxm-a]

(Since i already did reveal myself, i'll just send asks without being an anon lol)

Oh! That's easy, actually. Although we won't be available when we leave tomorrow, we contacted a certain someone that can run this blog and inform us of any messages you have for either me or Eros ^^

Navina? 👀

Speaking of, Eros wanted to tell you that he appreciated your presence, Mochi! Every time we talked about you and the others, I've seen him smile and mutter something about getting a calico cat and naming her after you. It was so cute! Eros never had any close friends other than me, so seeing her talk about everyone and you like we were all best friends warmed my heart.

SJNSKSJDJD- THAT IS SO CUTE??? Naming a calico cat after me, awhhh 🥺 cupid, can you tell eros that i appreciate knowing her too?? Tell her i said she's very cute too- (and yk there's something funny about your words. I also have a calico cat roaming around my house lmaoo, why is my life so full of funny coincidence-)

Aha... Anyways, before I go on rambling, that's all I can say. We'll see what we can do to make things easier and so we can speak to you all again, hehe! I hope you'll still be around when that happens :D

Oh yeah, i forgot to copy the sentence, but uhh, about that interesting thing in next month, i'll be sure to keep my eyes on it! Whether it'd be another event (i doubt it would be this one, please rest navina 💀) or anything else, i will be enthusiastic about it :] AND YES, I WILL STILL BE AROUND 🙆🏻‍♀️ you can't get rid of me, i'm like that small mistake when you're drawing and you just can't seem to erase it unless you get to the layer who has it-

Hehe, whoever it is will be a surprise, but I'll tell Eros that you appreciate the sentiment as well! She's out right now to get some last minute groceries (and also snacks, we'll be having a small movie night to celebrate our resignation!), so she'll definitely be pleased to hear your message.

Anyway, its nice to see you'll stick around even if we won't be here, then :D hope you enjoy what else will go down while we're busy settling some last minute plans.

(note from yours truly: HELPAIDSRFHUI NOT THE CALICO CAT... dwdw, Im gonna rest for after the main story + maybe writing the dlc fics. on hindsight, they might not be guaranteed to be all posted because bro, my brain needs a huge reboot when this sht is all done and dusted. orz.)

(tbh the next one wont be abt OLC anymore, thankfully, but! it will also reference this + make small cameos. Dont know what I'll do this time around when I get the chance but we shall see kek)

(Istg though when Im done Im gonna limit whoever I'll write. I love writing all of these characters and thinking abt them but God do I now resent how many I have to research. fuck THAT.)

(anyways!! I shall go eep for a good while on writing + maybe post dlcs. I will say that some fics will most def not be published even after the week for dlc stuff/extra fics because my brain just. isnt braining. orz orz im gonna cry. i'll prolly post them randomly idk HAIUHDUFSI anyways ill shut up now goodbye—)