#dont mind me. havin a moment.

[mechawolfie]

ouhhh

see i was like well maybe i should wait till im on t since once thats out of the way mabe itll be easier to deal w this other shit but idk man what if my nightmares happen for real n mother decides she cant play nice anymore what if its the t that sets her off. and ofc no one will defend me not until damage has already been done at least so im like. whatever the outcome if i stay here for too long i know the suicidal ideation will only get Stronger and i cant fucking have that. so then i think i just need to save up money to get tf out of here n we can worry abt everything else after. but see we are Starving Constantly n so they keep Needing My Money and im just sitting here watching it deplete bc. well i Could be Acquiring More but see the depression the dysphoria the whatever-the-fuck-else. and well i was feeling 'good' today but here i am again re-triggered skin itching just wanting to Hurt Hurt Hurt and just all i can thinjk abt is 'why am i alive why am i here im never getting out of here i need to get out of here to survive im so tired of just surviving this needs to end'

[lokiina]

Me: I Don't have a type....

Meanwhile, my blorbo fixations rn:

[thedeafprophet]

the text for marrying sept is all great but the funniest part is the text literarly having Feb going "if you like september so much why dont you marry him >:P" and the PC going "that's a great idea february :) :) :)" like truly. there is no more iconic part to the game

[poryqons]

this enclosure setups is where i put all the fictional men i wanna kiss

[lo0ny-moonyy]

alcohol is fun or whatever but do you remember the last time you felt like you were enough? yeah, me neither!! pass the bottle!!!

[dragon-queen21]

M BACK WHATWHATHWATTTT

-Yeah i so agree with you on the pet regressin chopper hc ! i honestly like that hc more OH MY GOSH, when hes petregressin, i forgot what point it is but he stays in his reindeer form, hes standing on shaky legs like a fawn, ITS OVER FOR ME

- i was thinmin about this last night: luffy and the crew meeting ace in alabasta, luffy regresses of course, hes happy to see his brother, and just ace trying to embarrassing him in front of the crew (in a loving way of course)

like giving him really silly nicknames (personal fan on lulu for this senario) or cooing and doting over him in spanish

- i have a ace+luffy hc that ace can dance really well and luffy cant dance for shit. enter little luffy, and hes more uncoordinated then before. imagie ace trying to teach him how yo dance, or doin that father daughter thing where luffys on aces feet yk?

- or when luffy is in babyspace and way to little to do anythin, ace will carry him around and do that thing were ace will say something and then ask luffy who will do nothing but look at ace back and make baby noises

“I cant believe this! Can you believe this lu?”

“bahwhah”

“Exactly what I said!”

-I dont remember if it was you who orginally said it but i really likedthe hc, i definitely see luffy and usopp regressing together unknowingly, before they knew they were regressors (first time it happened the crew was confused. the kids were on the floor playin, and usopp took to clumsily carryin luffy around. why was that?)

- smoker findin luffy little and just, hes not gonna capture luffy like this. smoker holding luffy by the back of his shirt like a baby cat and dropping him off at the sunny and staying with him until the crew returns

smoker is canonically good with kids NO WAY IN HELL hes gonna hurt luffy when hes regressed. hes not doin that to someone whos to out of it to protect himself

okay thats all i can write rughr now i have absolutely DEMONIC cramps i cant think anymore

but yes olease make sure to take care of yourself, your health is always more important than anythin

i hope your havin a good day 🤍🤍

📷

Hello again! :D

~I like to think that the nicknames just get sillier and sillier over time. Especially if Luffy says that he’s embarrassed. Clearly that’s what an older brother is for >:3

~Oh my gosh I have such a soft spot for anything with just, second languages. Little know fact I’m actually half Hispanic. My Spanish is VERY rusty mind you, but still. Solidly agreeing with you. This headcanon makes me very happy :3

~I feel like Luffy’s Spanish would be very broken so half of the things his brother is telling him just goes over his head. Especially if he’s super small to try and put together the words, but in a way it just makes him smaller.

~With Ace and Luffy dancing, it’s mostly just Ace spinning him around in a circle because Luffy refuses to do anything but stand on his feet giggling “again again!”

~Awwww cute cute cute cute cute!!!! Ace could probably fool others into thinking that he actually understands what Luffy is trying to tell him

~I don’t believe that was my headcanon but it sounds adorable! Actually I vaguely recall seeing that somewhere. That’s going to drive me crazy until I figure out where.

~Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh gosh. Captain Smoker, let’s talk about him for a moment. I love him- so much 👏 I also have such a love for anything regressed protagonist being taken care of by an antagonist.

~And he is good with kids, kinda rough around the edges. And wouldn’t it be really funny if he finds Luffy out gettin ice cream and there are just- too many similarities to a small child and Luffy seems so out of it. Smoker mentions something along the lines of “where’s your crew” half because he wants to know if he needs to call reinforcement’s, half because he genuinely is curious. And Luffy doesn’t know, Zoro wandered off at some point and it’s scary being all alone. And yeah no something is definitely wrong, he looks like he’s about to start crying. If anyone asks Smoker used this as an opportunity to locate the straw hats ship. Why didn’t he call in his report? Because he was kept under very close surveillance (aka a mentally four year old who wouldn’t leave him alone)

Not sure if this all makes sense but I think you get the idea <3

Take care of yourself as well, make sure to take it easy and get lots of rest. <3<3<3

[autism-freaks]

hey! i just read your 2.5 year top surgery update post! i’ve been trying to work through my own feelings about top surgery after years of repressing. i’m not a trans man, but there’s always been some funky gender stuff with me. i’m still in the phase where i’m reading about people’s top surgery experiences online. posts like yours have been very helpful for me, so thank you for putting it out there! since you said you don’t mind answering some questions: was there a sort of ‘tipping point’ where you went from thinking of or wanting surgery to ‘yes. i need this’?

also— hope you’re havin a good day! thanks for reading my ask.

Hey, thanks for asking! To be honest I think i wanted my breasts to be gone from the moment they started growing in, even way before I realized I'm non-binary/transmasc or even before I really knew removing them could be an option. Shortly before I found that out, I had tried on my first binder and loved it, even though my chest was really big and the binder didn't flatten it all the way. I started wearing one almost full time pretty quickly (dont be like me. Only wear one as much as you can tolerate without pain). But I think if I had to pick a tipping point for when I started actively pursuing top surgery, it would probably be the moment I realized that my insurance would cover it and there was a good chance I would actually like the results. I don't know why that was it, but it was like the second I realized there weren't nearly as many barriers and obstacles to getting the chest I wanted as I had previously thought, I started the process. Even then, it wasn't until I got chostrocondritis (inflamed rib cartilage) from binding and had to stop about 3 months before surgery that I truly considered it an absolute necessity and not just something I dreamed of having. I had gotten a taste of comfort in my body and I couldn't go back.

My advice to you would be this- don't be afraid to book a consultation if you think this is something you might want and decide from there. Even if you don't feel like you need it to go on living but want top surgery nonetheless, you deserve to live in a body that's comfortable for you, not just tolerable. And this is one of the very few times I advocate for lying to medical professionals if necessary. They will ask you how this would change your life and similar questions to sus out if you really need insurance to pay for this. If you really want top surgery, tell them this is necessary for you to be a happy and healthy human even if you think "well I could live without it, i just would really rather get it". I advocate for this because I believe it shouldn't be up to insurance to decide if any of us are "trans enough" to get gender affirming care. That should ultimately be up to the patient.

[fictionkinfessions]

sittin here in my ohio worms jersey n my ohio worms beanie n all yknow how it is and dont get me wrong i am and always will be a loyal worms fan but i am now realizing that i may have actually PLAYED blaseball (the hell did i do to deserve being subjected to that. can i PLEASE just enjoy a piece of media without kinning), n unless i am mistaken about who i am it wasnt even for the friggin worms.

anyway. guess the one positive of blaseball shuttin down (other than the poor devs not havin to work themselves into the ground for it anymore) is that i dont have to worry about more fucked up scary shit potentially happening to me??? i cannot imagine kinning from blaseball while it’s still goin n knowin you could fuckin die at any moment. will forever miss blaseball, RIV. but in this case it works in my benefit

anyway… go worms????? or… not? man who the fuck knows. actually who cares. go worms. worms good.

- POSSIBLY a blaseball player (who is deciding not to disclose their name until they’re certain cos there’s still time for the kin gods to change their mind and be nice to me).

(#sparkler🔥🎇)

🌊

[borom1r]

hmmm 3, 5, 6, 11, 14, 20, 22, 26, 38, 40 for the fun questions meme <3

ooooooo ok these’ll b inchresting :3

3- 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

th lotr trilogy (duh), I Saw the TV Glow, The Last Unicorn :3

5- what made you start your blog?

THIS blog? suicide bait on my old blog :3

tumblr in general? a friend showed it to me in high school n i made one n my life was irreversibly changed lmfao

6- what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

ATTENTION. double edged sword. like ok i try not to let myself care abt attention and try to be rlly careful now abt who i interact with but at the same time it rlly is validating when things Get Attention. some of my favorite fics have little to no engagement :( n like yea its not healthy to create FOR engagement (fast track 2 burnout) but its also like very disheartening to put time n effort n passion into sth only for it to fizzle out in the void

but whatever. ill make weird art forever

11- what do you consider to be romance?

THIS IS SO FUNNY 2 GET bc soooo much recently has made me reevaluate like. how I perceive this lollllll

anyways short answer: idfk man!!!!!!! close friendships n romance r incredibly cloudy in my mind cuz ive got a bad case of dogbrain!!

long answer is i just don’t quantify that stuff the way neurotypical ppl do :3 ties into th autism + nonhumanity. i also think cis ppl being attracted to me is gross lol. ideal romance for me is bein held n tended to like a noble knight tends their sword. I feel love like a dog feels abt their human!!! dogbrained!!! romance is being a guard dog, being a Really Good Boy but just soooo disconnected from like. idk allosexual/neurotypical quantifiers of “romance��� for me lol

+ i don’t use th label rlly but im def somewhere on th ace spectrum lol like physical intimacy is only rlly “safe” conceptually when its completely disconnected from th realm of possibility. like thirsting over celebrities or like th knight i have a crush on. + cis ppl desiring me is rlly like.. ew 😒 don’t look @ me anymore man

14- what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

UM. funnily enough im gonna do th Big Thing this summer :3 im going 2 th renaissance festival shirtless this year now tht im post op

s’gonna be scary showin off my scars but i rlly wanna go all out n celebrate finally havin top surgery. like im alive!! despite everything im alive n im happy ^_^ so cis people be damned, im gonna run around like a lil wolfguy for the first weekend!!!!!

20- favourite things about the night?

i love the moon :3

i also love how still n quiet things get

22- say 3 things about someone you love

ITS SO BRAVE!!!!!!!!! ITS LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST GUY I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO PROUD OF IT FOR HOW MUCH WORK IT DOES TO BETTER OUR COMMUNITY N PROUD OF IT FOR PURSUING TRANSITION + CANT WAIT TO SHARE MORE TRANS JOY W/ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(hiiiiiii Ly hehe!!)

26- fave colour and why?

when i was a kid my favorite colors were neon yellow n neon pink :3 they still kinda are but now i usually stick to like lime green or bright red paired w black. forest green + dark blue r gr8 too

38- fave song at the moment?

DONT ASK ME TO PICK JUST ONE???????

here r some I’ve had on loop lately: Far Away (Roadside Ghost), Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl (Broken Social Scene), I’m Already Gone (Baroness), Sex for Homework (MSI)

40- any bad habits?

oh yea i have dermatillomania lol

it doesn’t rlly bother me to talk abt bc i think “gross” stuff like that deserves to be less stigmatized— my shoulders n back are COVERRRRREED in little scars + scabs

[and-i-said-fewer]

HI THERE I SAW YOUR TAGS FREAKING OUT ABOUT ELBOW ON MY GERASKIER PLAYLISTS AND !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

little fictions is the only album I know by heart cover to cover, but I certainly enjoy the others!

SERIOUSLY THOUGH

WHENEVER I SEND ANYONE AN ELBOW SONG REC IN THE CONTEXT OF A CHARACTER THEY ALWAYS SAY THEYD NEVER CONSIDERED IT BEFORE AND I HONESTLY THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME HAVING A NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS MOMENT

you’ve made my day

holyyyyyy shittt im so sorry i didn’t see this before but it’s only *checks watch* well over a month late !! (sorry.) but yEA my mancunian friend introduced lil american me to elbow and theyve topped my spotify wrapped (yes even above tad) the past two years lol their stuff means a lot to me and is also So Good

but fs like. again i would Not ever insinuate that elbow is Niche or Unpopular—literally played the olympics etc etc—but i do think that they aren’t necessarily in The Minds Of Fandom™️ very much. but MAN they have such a great discography and sm good songs it’s like *makes aggressive grabby claws at the air* so much potential!!!! overlooked!! unseen!! (yes i’m being dramatic. not sorry)

anyways if anyone who sees this listens to elbow PLEASE hmu i love talking abt elbow songs

aaaaannndd uuuhhhhh 👉🏽👈🏽 hopefully not beign too pushy but uhhh. if anyone here wants some fandom related recs……. i’ll just throw out a couple so i’m not being Too Much but:

hotel istanbul [listed as a non-album track under the seldom seen kid (bonus tracks version) album on spotify] - oh my god if anyone listens to One [1] song i write here PLEASE let it be this one. every time i scroll through geraskier playlists and don’t see this song i feel Robbed. to me it feels sooooo them but no one else knows about it and i lose my mind. idk if musically it fits everyone’s vibe check but Lyrically. holy fuck holy shit. like to my understanding it’s abt a guy who’s havin a shite day but this other person’s presence makes them feel better or smthn??? anyways it’s fuckinnnn haaghhh i’m- it literally goes “damn your eyes / so blue” LIKE????? i lose my mind over this song in geraskier context every time someone Please listen to it and tell me if i’m going insane or not

puncture repair [under leaders of the free world album] - man i love this lil guy sm. diff energy from hotel istanbul but i see this one as the quieter geraskier moments, the travelling together for 20 years. it’s so quiet, it’s so routine, it’s motions that are muscle memory, it’s care etched in creases, it’s thoughts traced through nerves for the thousandth time. also works from either pov i think

bones of you [under the seldom seen kid album] - i think?? this could be a yennefer song??? either abt istredd or just like her past life. also sonically i rlly like the vibe for her, dunno if anyone else’d agree w that tho

audience with the pope [under the seldom seen kid album] - ok honestly i dont know if this one’s very accurate since i wouldnt call myself an arbiter of quality yen&geralt vibes, but i do think of them when i listen to this song so,,? do with that what u will

anyway i have oodles and oodles of these but these ones that r like, supported lyrically the best ig??? sorta?? maybe not but yea ive got elbow-witcher song thoughts for Days but the other ones are maybe more vibes-based so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but if anyone’s intrigued…… i mean hmu

[nayohmi]

another embarrassing moment i had, a couple days ago i called kur when i was havin a “breakdown”. i cried on the phone, I FUCKING CRIEDDD abt my dad and told my bf abt it. i mean, i think ive cried in front of him before but the reason was related to our relationship.

lo tau ga malunya dapet bgt abis gue hung up and took a shower. i was like… hhhhhhhh fak u fragile ass bitchhh naomi erika putri u’ve lost ur fucking mind.

i remember telling this to rere tp respond nya didnt help, well i wasnt seeking for any help on that jg sih. cm kyk pgn dpt gambaran kira kira knp its ok for us to look fragile in front of our boyfriends. yes, in front of men.

its not that i dont feel comfortable w my own bf but its just so embarrassing for me to show how fragile i can be.

maybe im scared, idk. or maybe im considerate enough to know that he also has some problems and i dont want him to be all hassle and swamped ngadepin gue yg lg breakdown huehuehue gatau ah fak.

ini pertama kali nya gue nangis ttg keluarga gue ke cowok gue and idk its odd. embarrassing af HAHA goblok naomi erika

[harvestmoth]

part …. two !!

[doomednarrative]

I’m more than qualified to make divorce jokes at this point because I went thru two of them in childhood before I was even a teenager

[tenshindon]

hmm

tien

but also ????

yamcha....

[squinko-moved]

do u guys secretly hate me .

[gresiniracing]

look im just saying that watching jaume masia's first win celebrations was a religious experience and i watched it two years late