#dont make me expose you tom

[yousta]

Dude, if so much as one of anything is telling me no 😤😤😤 I'm not pulling up to the party, function, or kickback. It's The Weekend, wtf is a weeknd? You can't even type without being wrong. I'm already at the party> Tf I look like? No way, I'm pulling up to an afterparty hosted by some fuck boy. Fuck yall player haters. I will never forgive that twitch guy who made advertisers pull out. What's his name hisssssssian? I hate that guy, I will say though. Eating banana in the name of Donkey Kong sounds nostalgic, and is pretty righteous if I've ever heard it. Chris Chan was right when it really matter, and I'll tell you how. The anime girls aren't coming how he excepted. The appeared for me, but that time has came and went today. He was a product of his time. But in a world where being autistic, normally made them feel like they were unworthy of love. I put up ugly is beautiful and stood there till the end, on principles. Chris Chan did something terrible to his mom. He had it in his heart to forgive Randy, he wanted to believe. Randy did something terrible but that was almost me by ending any of this. I didn't grant him anything, but despite it all. I was happy to see him with a girl who had blue hair. It reminds me of a Dante red song called which craft which was pretty hype when I heard it. I'm glad you joined my clan redeem when you did Brandy. It made me believe he was somehow redeemable. Chris Chan wasn't exactly right, there are real ones in anime. That's too big of a concept to explain because you don't see what anime was for me. I was always a real one. These were the only eyes I've ever seen from. So even if I didn't personally like sonic Pikachu. It meant something to me now, I'm glad he believed in what he did. He had a right to drawl, even if it was wrong. So it's not as hollow to me now. Cheating is wrong, so all me and all my homies hated turkey tom. Watching him backpeddle and correct it later made me happy. I liked his take, so I don't blame him for saying whatever he thought at the time on live stream. I always liked his takes, I see how he had what he needed to start bringing those good documentary style videos for his live streams. I always found the meme he's play on his screen when he stepped away so funny. Where the apps are beating on their chest, going app shit. I yousta was a fan at the time. It's even better now that I'm able to still say that. I always wanted to tell him, I wanted to be just like him. Now I can talk to him direct and probably pay him to react on life. I dont have to because, Delila is the one who helped me through it all. I'd like to go on like nothing happened. Now I can't even tune in to my favorite slop channel. I might've joined the reptilian brotherhood when I was naive and ignorant at 15, Typing HISSS in YouTube comment sections. Leafy who? leafyisnthere. Fuck that, I'm never watching Leafy on youtube EVER again. You guys think he should lose everything for coming up roasting kids that ddos? Yeah I'm end his fucking career. Lol nope he already did. Every real one HATES leafy unless he's talking about Pyrocynical on dramaalert PERIOD

[four-bastard-bustle]

BONUS BONUS: Tordmatt - You stole my fucking heart. AT LEAST GIVE IT BACK YOU ASSHOLE

a playlist about matt and tord becoming a couple, tord breaking up with matt cause hes way too intense, symbolically losing his zombie status and matt being PISSED about the "betrayal", determined to drag tord down with him

presenting: four-bastard-bustle brand eddsworld playlists

Edd - Take the wheel real quick; a playlist about having a mild god complex, being a bit too controlling, the problems with radioactive powers and having to poop really badly

Tom - Stranger things have happened to normal-er people; a playlist about being a lil weirdo, and being just a bit pissed at the world

Matt - Royalty isn't dead (again); a playlist about being fancy, royal, spoiled, haunted by the dead, an asshole and your friends' punching bag

Tord - Built to Blast (Like My Cisgender Penis); a playlist about being a stupid edgy weeb, having an evil clone who's a crimelord and being trans

[daddyfordaeddy]

noun - décolletage; a low neckline on a woman's dress or top.

Pairing: servant! Wooyoung x lady! f! Reader

Genre: Smut, implied established relationship, E for explicit, MDNI

Warnings: infidelity (woo and yn fuck, yn is married to someone else), ⚠️somnophilia (it is implied that both of them do this on a regular basis, and it is just a roleplay. it is extremely hinted at so still, please be warned!)⚠️, smut warnings under cut

Word count: 1720

Smut warnings: Peeking tom (wooyoung is a perv and watches yn sleep and touches himself over her), somnophilia (implied consensual, discussed beforehand but not shown), fingering (f receiving), begging, dirty talk, unprotected (⚠️dont do!⚠️), creampie, multiple orgasms

-

This is part of a pervert! ATEEZ collab with @sanjoongie, @mingsolo, @flurrys-creativity (Limerence), @potatomountain, @desirehorizon, @bunnliix, and @skteezcursed :) As their stories drop, their links will be added. Enjoy!

A big thank you to potatomountain for helping me figure out the plot too 🩷 probably would've suffered without you lololol

⚠️Please note, this fic, although implied consensual, is very vague on the consent part. YN and Wooyoung have talked about it and agreed to it beforehand, but it's only very lightly implied. Please approach with caution.⚠️

-

Wooyoung can’t help but to keep his eyes pinned on your sleeping form as he half-heartedly dusts the dresser for the fifth time. He knows it’s wrong, he can get fired in the blink of an eye, but the chance of getting caught just makes him grow even harder in his pants. All the other servants are with the new master on a business trip, only the cooks, stable boys, and Wooyoung are left in the mansion with the mistress. Just what Wooyoung prefers.

It’s no well-kept secret that Wooyoung is known to play around with his fellow servants, or even some esteemed guests. And it’s not to say he doesn’t enjoy it, but his sights have always been set on you. On Lady YN, his sweet mistress who can do no wrong in his eyes. You’ve always been so kind, so sweet to him, all Wooyoung wants to do is hear your precious moans as he makes you fall apart on his fingers.

Your new husband couldn’t, that much Wooyoung knows. When he creeps under your windowsill at night, hearing the new master’s grunts and groans, and your light moans that he knows deep down are fake, he knows he could do so much better. Just the thought of it boils his blood.

Carefully, quietly, he puts down the duster and approaches your bed. You’re a deep sleeper, he’s sure you wouldn’t wake up if he just takes a peek. Nothing wrong with that. With gentle hands, he lifts the linen sheet covering you and moves it to the side, breathing in deeply at the sight of your lithe form. He didn’t think you would sleep almost bare, the only thing covering you is a sheer nightgown that hides nothing, but he’s not going to complain.

Your lips are pressed into a pout as you sleep, unaware of Wooyoung staring at you like a starved man looking at his last meal. Unwilling to let this chance slip through his fingers, Wooyoung quickly moves his hand down, palming at himself through his pants, biting his lip to keep his moans to a minimum.

With every moment, he grows more desperate, his hips bucking into his hand and he groans under his breath, loosening his pants and shoving them down his thighs. With a stifled moan, he wraps his hand around his length, slowly stroking it up and down and thumbing at the tip. It doesn’t take long for precum to start beading at his tip and sticking to his fingers.

Wooyoung’s eyes drink in your form as you groan and shift around in your sleep, moving to your back and exposing your breasts and cunt, visible through the thin fabric of your gown. Wooyoung’s eyes can’t seem to stay in one place…that is, until he reaches your crotch. He can’t hold back the gasp at seeing how wet your folds are. You must be dreaming about something dirty. Slick is sticking to your thighs, strings of it connecting them together.

Wooyoung’s free hand reaches out without him even realising, pressing his thumb against your pulsing hole. A moan breaks out of your throat and Wooyoung immediately stiffens, eyes flicking up to your face, but you remain asleep. “Woo…” falls out of your throat, and Wooyoung’s eyes widen. There’s no way…did you… “Wooyoung…”

There’s no denying it now. Your quiet moans only serve to make Wooyoung more bold, crawling onto the bed and sitting on his knees, bringing his hand up to cup your chest, thumb now playing with a nipple. Each touch brings a whimper out of your mouth, and you slowly blink awake, eyes glazed over and hazy.

“Wooyoung?”

Wooyoung freezes, hand still gripping your chest and his hard cock pressed against your thigh. “Yes, my lady?” he whispers, eyes trained in on your face as you look up at him with such pretty, pretty eyes. “How may I be of assistance?”

You shift to sit up, leg dragging against his sensitive length and Wooyoung bites his lip to keep the moans at bay. “Aren’t you going to continue?” Your voice is small, delicate, and Wooyoung so badly wants to just eat you up. “It’s so hard to feel good with…him. I saw you outside at my window, you know, and I wanted nothing more than for you to come and show me how it’s done. Please, Wooyoung.”

That’s all Wooyoung needs to hear, his arm wrapping around your waist and hoisting your body up until you’re flush with his torso, face so close to his. “Gladly, my lady,” he hums before capturing your lips in a heated kiss.

Unabashedly, you moan into his mouth, your hands moving up to grasp at his shirt as his tongue presses into your mouth. He can practically taste how much you want him, your hips canting up against his leg as you try and get as much friction as you can.

“Wooyoung, please,” you whine into his mouth, and your voice only serves to make Wooyoung somehow harder.

With a grunt, he moves his hands to grip at your thighs, yanking the hem of your dress up and lifting your hips until his dick, throbbing painfully, presses against your bare cunt. He lets out a hiss at the feeling of your soft, wet folds practically enveloping his length, your slick dripping down to his balls and spreading on his thighs. “You’re so wet for me, my lady. So eager, huh? Tell me, how does the master try to please you?” You groan, head dropping against Wooyoung’s shoulder and he pinches the flesh of your breast, making you squeal. “Go on, speak. How else am I going to show you how much better I am?”

“Ah, well, he would kiss my neck softly, and touch my– ah– my breasts,” you whimper out, every few words punctuated by your soft moans as Wooyoung sinks his teeth into your clavicle, soothing the sting with wet kisses on your sensitive skin. His hands grip the collar of your dress, ripping open the already-low neckline. You gasp as his grip slides over to cup your breasts, his thumbs playing with your nipples and you keen, hips grinding down on his crotch. “Oh God, Wooyoung, just put it in, please–”

Wooyoung laughs into your neck, his hands pinching your nipple just a little too harsh, shutting you up with a moan. “God, so impatient. You really can’t stand the master, huh. Don’t worry, my lady, I’ll treat you right.” As he speaks, one of his hands grasp the base of his cock, guiding it to slide between your folds, his precum making the slide so much smoother until the head finally catches on your hole. It feels like it’s sucking him in, Wooyoung biting his lip to keep himself from coming too fast.

“Youngah–” you moan, cunt pulsing as your walls stretch to accommodate his thick cock.

The nickname, although not perverted by a long shot, sparks something in Wooyoung’s brain and he bites into your shoulder, hard, as his thighs shake and he spills ropes of hot come inside of you. And yet, he remains hard.

“Shit–” Wooyoug groans, his grip tightening, sure to leave nail marks in your soft flesh. “God, squeezing me so tight…Do you feel me in you? You make me so insane, I just want to fuck you full of my come until my cunt is forever filled with my load. You hear that? Your cunt is mine, and I can fill it whenever I want, okay? Whose cunt is this?”

Your mouth is hanging open, nothing but incoherent babbles falling out, but Wooyoung is having none of that. He lands a harsh slap to your clit and you half moan, half scream out, “Wooyoung! It’s you, fuck. Please!”

A low chuckle sounds in your ear, Wooyoung smiling sweetly, a harsh contrast to the sharp look in his eyes. “That’s right, my lady. You’re fucking mine,” he all but growls into your ear, landing another harsh slap to your cunt before bringing his fingers to your clit and playing with the bundle of nerves.

“Yours! Fuck, I’m yours, Wooyoung,” you repeat yourself, head empty of all other vocabulary. “Please, fuck.”

Your cunt is clenching around him so well, tears springing to your eyes as you reach the edge of your orgasm. With one last ‘please’, Wooyoung’s other hand grips your chin, causing your mouth to open, and he spits in your mouth before crashing his lips on top of yours and coming once again.

With every throb of his cock and his come filling you up bit by bit again, you also reach your orgasm with a loud, drawn-out whine. Your body goes limp in Wooyoung’s hold, head resting on your chest as your thighs still quiver and your bones feel like jelly.

Wooyoung’s breath puffs over your hair, his touch back to being gentle as he rubs your back, calming you down. “My lady, how are you feeling?” he murmurs, hands stilling their movement.

“Good,” you hum, moving your head to smile up at your beloved servant. “I’m good. Thank you, Wooyoung. You certainly have helped.”

Unable to help himself, Wooyoung tilts his head to steal yet another breathtaking kiss from you. “Good. I don’t want to hurt my precious lady, you know.” He smiles, pecking your lips again. “And we’ll have the rest of the week to ourselves still, you know. Your husband doesn’t return for another two weeks.”

You shrug, shifting in his lap as you frown at your ripped nightgown. “Yes, well, maybe in those two weeks, I can find a reason to divorce him. For now, we can stick to our games and play-pretend. But my question is…did you really have to rip this? I had it imported, you know.”

You glare up at him, a pout forming on your lips, and Wooyoung can feel his aching dick start to twitch back to life. “Well…I’m sure I can find a way to make it up to you,” he hums, nosing his way down your neck, all the while pressing kisses to it. “Lay back, and I’ll treat you right.”

“You better,” you threaten without real bite. “As your lady, I command you.” Your voice grows breathy as his breath ghosts over your sensitive cunt.

“I live to serve.”

[divinelolita]

i wanna laugh and i wanna laugh rn😪

its been so long(literally a few days) since i sent smthhh

ill boost u bae dw

AHEM

mk so the whole band(um seperate fic duh) with a bf who be freakishly nice n shit(i feel like ivd sent this bf dont expose me if i did) like if a band member accidentally hit him in the face he would say sorry and say some dumb shit like "im so sorry i shouldn't have been in the way of your elbow. " like what💀💀

or if someone was trying to confess or smth he'd be like "i really don't want to hurt you but no." maybe even as a band memeber is right next to them

and arguments with this mf is probably hell like if it was a band members fault he would accidentally make them think it wasn't and it was his(sometimes its on purpose but they figure it out later) OFC these r examples use what u want🧍🏾

BAHSBDKDBDO I CANFT STOP LAUGHING ON THE FIRST ONE

THE BAND X EXTREMELY NICE READER

teehee i have an essay to write but ummmmm that doesn't matter rn 😇 uhh also if it's bad sorry idk what's going on with me

BILL:

・He's so confused how you can be nice all the time

・He really does try to be nice but he just snaps sometimes omg 💀

・He wonders when your breaking point is

・Like if he turns around carrying something and wacks your fucking face he's so confused why you're not YELLING at him

"Yeah and then- *WHACK* -OH SHIT M/N I'M SO SORRY ARE YOU OKAY?! -"

"No, no Bill I'm fine! It didn't hurt that much."

"..what."

・He just stares at you with his jaw dropped low, slowly nodding to himself

・Or like if he knocks something over and you apologize for it

(I've done that so many times...)

・Reassures you it's not your problem 🤞

TOM:

・nahh you got him FUCKED UP bae.

・He doesn't understand how you can be so nice, I feel like he's a brutally honest mf 💀

・If your in public and somebody is being rude to you and you're just kinda standing there, still staying calm???

・He's just looking at your features trying to find ONE small piece of anger or frustration

・I feel like y'all are couple opposites.

・Like he'd obviously have a soft spot for you 🤗 but he doesn't see the reason to be nice to others when he knows it's not his fault

・Arguments with him oh my god...

・If you keep apologizing and saying it's your fault he eventually sits next to you to comfort you, assuring you everything's okay.

"It's not your fault, M/N. I promise.."

・You'd somehow warm him up a bit, he barley notices himself becoming more kind and carefree.

GEORG:

・was his color green or blue omg i can't remember

・He's...so confused.

・Like if he accidentally smacks you with his elbow and you aren't crying or cursing

"M/N? M/N ARE YOU-"

"I'm okay! It just stung for a second haha..!"

"..."

"..."

・He gets you but he doesn't.

・He just can't see himself being so giddy and happy and nice.

・Anger turns into confusion in arguments, why are you so mad at yourself?

・Loves you so fucking much though, always reminding you that you are amazing and didn't do anything wrong.

GUSTAV

・AHHHH HE GETS YOU!!!!!

・He understands you so much oh my god, he just loves you even more now.

・He'd also try to keep you from blaming yourself.

・Like if he knocks something over and you apologize.

"Oh shit I'm sorry I should have moved it-"

"No honey you're fine, I should've looked where I was going.."

・MWA MWA HE LOVES YOU

・Very slightly confused on how you never snap, how you always keep calm

・He wishes he could be like you bae 💔💔

・In arguments he just tries to calm himself and you down, actually sitting down and talking about how you both feel

OH SHITTT I NEED TO DO THAT ESSAY

[lokislittlesigyn]

This past weekend I had .. A truly lovely experience. One that will stick with me forever, I believe.

Story time.

About a month ago I got an unexpected message that Tom Hiddleston would be at NYCC. I'd never heard of NYCC before - though I live within driving distance of NYC. I visited last year to see a Broadway play and visit the Loki figure at Madame Tussauds. But more, in 2019, my parents surprised me with tickets to see Betrayal on Broadway.

When we went to the show, I hoped to give Tom a letter, thanking him for the impact his work has had on my life, and get some art autographed. After the show - which was breathtaking and fantastic and funny and heartbreaking - I stood outside in the bitter cold and watched as Tom stayed outside for 2 hours talking to and autographing things for his fans. I distinctly remember saying his name and him looking me right in the eye - I asked if he'd take my letter. His response? "Of course I will." those words also stuck with me. spoken surely, as though kindness was deserved without question.

I got an autograph from him that day on my Playbill - they didn't allow non-Betrayal works to be signed. But I wanted, very badly, to see him again. Namely for a hug ... And to get that art signed.

In the spring of 2020 I heard about a drivable convention Tom was slated to be at. Tickets to see him were hundreds of dollars, but I was willing to pay.

Then the pandemic hit. Everything was cancelled.

Fast forward to last month. My birthday is coming up and I have no idea what to ask for, I have a steady job and I'm trying to give myself permission to buy fun things so I actually feel something when I get a paycheck. ive legit been getting money and just feeling nothing when it goes into my account. :')

And I did it. I bought a pass. An autograph pass, since the photo passes only allowed a few seconds with the individual - I wanted to talk even for a moment, not stand awkwardly while I try to make myself give a natural smile.

I'll spare you the details of the convention itself - it was huge, and while it was exciting, that wasn't the main draw. Tom was. I finished an art piece and had it printed, and took it with me to give to him. I also wrote a message on the back of it, so there was no risk of the message being lost (I don't know if he actually got my first letter. There's really no way to tell!). That message is private, but the art is not.

It took over two hours to get through the line. As someone with joint and sensory issues, this was .. Quite an experience. if i hadnt had my compression socks on i honestly dont think i would have made it. also i really need to look into what ADA passes they have because there is an ADA line and i continuously tell myself im not disabled enough for that but maybe i am, idk

But I got through the line and went around the corner where they had a curtained-off area, and there he was.

My first thought? "Oh, you're real."

its always surprising to see him in person.

But as happened before, the nervousness and excitement and heart beating out of my chest gave way to a quiet calm.

He took the piece I brought to be signed, and signed it. And I spoke up.

"I made this for you, if that's okay." And I handed him the above artwork.

He took it. Looked at it. "You're very talented."

I thanked him.

And he looked at me again.

Now, it's relevant to mention I am autistic. Eye contact is extremely difficult for me. It feels unsafe, exposed, scary. I can literally get physically unsettled if I look at someone's eyes too long. This man is the only person - not even my mother and father feel safe to look in the eye - that I can not just stand to look in the eye, but actually feel ... peaceful. i think it's because he has lokis eyes.

"Thank you. Have a good rest of your weekend."

He smiled at me, and I smiled back. I thanked him again.

It's a small interaction. It was in the last event on the last day of the con - this man was probably exhausted, and rightly so. I also want to be clear, I don't have any sort of parasocial feelings toward Tom, or even romantic/etc. feelings. Tom is his own person, with his own life and experiences, and I don't feel anything toward him other than a general fondness and gratitude. More importantly, he is married, a husband and a father, and that is so important to remember.

I'm simply grateful to him. Out of hundreds, possibly thousands of people over the weekend, he took a bit of time to look at the art, and say something kind, and to look at me and smile.

Photos weren't allowed in the area, or I would have wanted one. Likewise, there were tables between the attendees and him - I would've asked for a hug otherwise. But I don't regret the weekend, for all its ups and downs. I got to give Tom a present, and I know I'll see him again someday.

And maybe next time, I'll get that hug.

[azumasoroshi]

minidura chapter 2 react (izaya has stopped functioning)

i already forgot what i named the last post whoops

anyway

shizuo jumpscare

as a psychology student who is also taking sociology goddamn do i love the whole community aspect of durarara and the forms. wish i could start a festival in my town just by suggesting it online somewhere. it's so cool how you have no idea of the qualifications of the people you talk to (just like on tumblr except this is all ikebukuro people. and izaya)

i wonder if izaya being the only member of the cast (afaik) to not live in ikebukuro is symbolic of how he feels has to distance himself from the chaos at least a little bit in order to not get swept up in it himself. it's like a self restraint type thing

that's probably really obvious though forgive me im still dutsing off my character analysis lack-of-skills ANYWAY

tom is such a malewife honestly

i dont think ive ever had chocolate bananas before. huh. strawberries sure bananas nah

he looks so cute in that last panel ghghghjhhrhghgghjf

i dont get to see enough of normal laid back shizuo behavior with all the shizaya art i look at lmfAOO

i swear to god if celty's in a kimono 💀 shinra is about to be the most annoying man alive

stupid puns my beloved

the way tom's eyes are drawn in that last panel reminds me of like. american cartoon but i cant put my finger on it

is it arnold from the magic school bus or is it arthur from arthur. who knows

"you absolutely cant get into a fight today" ah so the peace wont last. damn

EGGPLANTZAYA

i cant wait for izaya to show up this chapter and annoy the living hell out of shizuo

maybe i should make eggplantzaya my profile picture (i wont because im too attached to rantaro. not even him as a character just the profile picture) (also because i cant remember where i found the profile picture and im too scared to let it go)

i see that blurb with the really cute izaya picture on the left and im assuming it's just a "this is orihara izaya btw. he's really annoying and shizuo hates him for ruining his life" type thing but god i wish i could read it anyway ill take any crumbs

HERE HE COMES!!!!!!!

oh nvm he's getting shafted for now, we transition to-

WHAT DID I FUCKING TELL YOU

celty in a kimono is inevitable. you cannot escape

she is cute though <3 this might be her first festival since she's irish too damn

that just reminded me god i wish celty talked in a super thick irish accent. some people have already mentioned that but im reiterating it because maybe some abridged series will consider it

wait oh my god is this gonna be another hotpot party type "izaya organized all this because he's lonely and wants an excuse to hang out with people that tolerate him" thing. amazing wonderful i love the izaya slander going on in this manga today

and i was about to say "oh i guess that wasnt izaya's silhouette in the shizuo-tom panel" but he's holding a chocolate banana 💀rip tom's pay i guess

i can imagine how that went but i dont think ill have to imagine for much longer

oh yeah it was right in the next panel lmAO at least you got free food izaya dont complain

"he looks like he's having fun" awwwwwwwwwwwww nothing more fun than ticking off shizuo and not getting hurt in the process

just realized he has the constantly closed eyes pff gin ichimaru lookin edgy ass bitch

he opens his eyes like it's a dramatic supervillain reveal but it's really just him being lonely. thanks for always exposing him shinra mwah

WHY IS HE ACTING SO EVIL. doing the fucking arm spread like this is a bad thing what is wrong with him

i love how mikado shinra and celty are looking at each other like "this fucking guy. cant have one normal conversation"

PFFFFFFFFFFFF

i know shinra is laughing his ass off beneath those glasses rn

izaya's face is amazing actually. you know that one scene in bungou stray dogs wan where atsushi gets dazai a gift and dazai glitches out and stops processing information because he doesnt know how to handle appreciation. this is literally that scene

huh. now i understand why durarara and bsd always get recommended together

KILL HIM MIKADO!! KILL HIM WITH KINDNESS HE'S ALREADY HALFWAY TO HELL

literal proof that izaya ceases to function when someone actually likes him. idc that this isn't canon it's canon because i say so

(side note MAN did they have to give airi noticable cleavage even in her chibi form. come on. you didnt do it for celty you dont have to do it to her 😭 the amount of fanservice with her drives me nuts in the main series)

my man is BROKEN just look at him

local gay baby realizes he accidentally made everyone happy. oops

walker and erika in the background too <3 they're so cute ugh

YOU DUMBASS

i knew itd be another hotpot thing oh mygod he's so. fucking idiot you couldve just tagged along with them 😭

it's only once he imagines shizuo that he snaps too pffffffffft

also namie appearance!!!!!!! hope she appears more in future chapters

10/10 chapter would bully izaya again

oops almost missed the ending drawing!! so cuteeee <3333

[iantimony]

tuesday!

hello tuesday :) i'm going to start crossposting these onto my dreamwidth also just so i have a non-tumblr log of my weekly updates. please friend me on dreamwidth i would love an excuse to move platforms more

listening: OH i listened to SO much this week. i tuned in to my spotify release radar thing and it was a great idea to get exposed to some new music from artists i already know i like! i also peeped the discover weekly one a bit

i haven't listened to the newest paramore album in full but 'running out of time' was on the release radar playlist and i really really like the sounds! it feels very st vincent-y to me in a way that i wasn't expecting from paramore so i wonder if that was a conscious influence at all? or if they were both separately influenced by the same sources? it's really good though. i dont remember following shakey graves but they also rule i've been jamming to the whole album 'deadstock' which i think is just a collection of some of their more popular tracks? plus some live recordings. and tom rosenthal makes me cry still

from discover:

and then i found memi through...instagram reels i think? instagram has unfortunately nailed the type of music they should serve me to get clicks so i do. keep clicking them. anyways i love her

reading: quantum :V

oh wait actually i do have reading this week! i re-opened the slowly app (i downloaded it years ago but stopped using it at some point), which is a real-time penpal app - you can send letters to random people in the world, and it will send in "real time" as if you were actually mailing a letter! so i opened it and the app went oh? you're active? cool! and i started getting letters! so i got one from a guy in morocco, which i replied to right away, and also one in mandarin which i have NOT replied to right away because i had to spend like an hour translating it rip. out of five i put my mandarin proficiency at a 2 on my profile but honestly that may be too high oops. ah well. it'll be cool to try and get my mandarin back up to snuff! it'll also be a great way to learn things like idioms and other stuff that doesn't show up as often in traditional learning materials.

for example, phrase that i learned is 畅所欲言, chang4 suo3 yu4 yan4, which is a standard four-character idiom that means to speak without inhibitions or to just frankly speak your mind. i have like a full two pages of new words and phrases that i had to look up to read the letter which is awesome!

the letter from morocco was very cool and like...poetry adjacent? which im not sure if it's just because of a translation quirk - he said his english isn't the best - but i dunno. "I am writing to you because writing is a companion of the tired". anyways.

watching: i started watching evangelion with my partner!! we did ... i think about five episodes last week? it owns. this is the first time in a really long time that i've, like...gone blind into a media? my only exposure to eva has been through out-of-context memes (shinji get in the robot) and i feel like a lot of the time with TV shows i tend to read the wikipedia page before watching to see if it's really worth it :") i've never really cared about spoilers or whatever because honestly if it's a good enough show it won't really matter if i know what's going to happen or not, it's more about How it happens and how it's shot/framed/acted/etc. but i have zero context for eva and im very much enjoying it! i wasn't expecting the body horror at all it rules

making: making good progress on my embroidery project! this photo is from about two weeks ago but it's the most recent one i have and honestly haven't done THAT much more. i just finished filling that vertical headphone cord in with red, started some other headphone cord...after that all i have left is the letters (rip) and then doing maybe some sort of sashiko stitch/cross hatching as fill for the hair? like some spaced out x patterns in a grid or something like that. because i'm sure as shit not doing a satin or brick stitch to fill all that in and i think it'll still look good that way.

im also finishing up valentines gifts to mail to people :3

misc: hgg. quantum midterm on march 2. it is Rapidly approaching and im very nervous about it but in a VERY different way - this semester he's having the exams be open note and open book, which could be really good or really really bad. on the plus side i dont have to drive myself insane memorizing equations on flash cards again, most of my studying will probably be uber-familiarizing myself with the layout of the notes so i know where to reference things and also copying out things from online that might be relevant. on the minus side it means i have really no clue on how hard this exam will be. pain.

research is going. i feel like im sooo close to getting shit to work. however i am also experiencing research fomo because a prof that i didnt even know existed gave a presentation on her group for potential new students and i went wait wow that fucks. sigh. i think that's all for this week gang, gonna crosspost to dreamwidth after lunch!

[terrifyingkitten]

some observations and questions from a linguist about social media algorithms

i really wanna make some sense of algorithms because im not a tech girl but we all have been exposed to a lot of algorithm in the past couple of years.

a lot of the time people think about the content creators side, like creating content that gets recommended on tiktok, and how that starts to affect mental health and you cannot ever please everyone but also your art, yada yada yada. on tumblr for example the like button is virtually useless for supporting artists. unless you specifically go into the based on your likes thing, posts die if theyre not recirculated.

its kinda like reddit where you have to join a community to post at all. here you have your own blog, there you have a shared one. honestly tumblr dash is kinda like if early facebook (((friendships))) were based on tags not previous acquaintance.

dont forget pinterest. its all just about which folder you store it in and how many folders you create and if people can use a common folder like tags and and and

then theres recommendation algos where they see what you liked and recommend stuff youd like too. thats like the amazon algo. other people who bought x and y also bought z. here the algo is assuming fluid community boundaries instead of going by the ones you put in. by which criteria do they assume communities though?

Tags. duh. like you can filter tags like trigger warnings from your dash on tumblr. thats an algo. trigger warnings were also one of the first controverses, even before gamergate really. also, DNI was invented on tumblr (dont quote me on this)

but it doesnt have to be specifically tagged to be filtered out. tiktok captions have to be censored so we know thats being considered. do they do the reverse and recommend based on words people use?

lets talk the comments now. reddit has different sorting algorithms like hot, controversial, newest, oldest. but they are all ranked on a binary/trinary. upvotes, downvotes. i say trinary because it depends. if they tally views, views with no interaction would be a thing too.

now in what ways can you interact with a comment section? remember DNI and think it through with me. comments boost small channels. youll see that person again even if you dont follow them yet. it only makes sense that liking a persons comment means that their bubble and mine overlap and get similar recs.

my fellow linguists. you know that one thought experiment? schrödingers chinese interpreter? the black box thing? we cant tell if the algo gets the reference or just gets who gets the reference.

AI got scary good at language. tom scott did a video just recently. where are we on the algorithm sigmoid curve? what will happen next? how will ai come into this? what are realistic dangers?

[lilicohirukoma]

YOU S4 EP2 LIVEBLOG

Here we go again

- I wouldn’t be too married to the idea its one of the new people here, could always be someone from your past (maybe the guy the Quinn’s send)

- Is this season gonna be Joe’s descend into madness/paranoia? I kinda dig that

- Oh wait an actual murder mystery party? Even more fun!

- But I still don’t get why they want him around so much, like he isnt rich so that can’t be a reason

- YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT ABOUT WHODUNNITS MR GOLDBERG

- But then why would she conviently leave a voice mail about him being dead right in front of you?

- Shit okay he made that deduction too I’m gonna go cry now

- Kate’s being sussed out so I feel like its def not her and she might even die

- Ah yes hello Nadia you still exist, how convenient you love the mystery genre

- WHY ARE YOU CALLING ABOUT THIS IN A PUBLIC AREA IDIOT???? GO HOME AND THEN CALL how has Joe never been caught oh my god

- Don’t like being stalked huh Joe

- Delete the app/destroy your phone, clearly they want a game and if you try to deny it they’ll have to make measures to keep you in it and through those measures you could get closer to their identity

- Lady Phoebe is giving me some Annika vibes I love it

- Now hold on a minute... Phoebe might be a bit more manipulative than she looks

- I know Ralph is Ralph Lauren but who tf is Tom

- Liking the Soo siblings a lot and I think one of them will survive, my bet’s on Sophie

- No Kate’s the red herring move on from her

- Louis XIV for Sun King w Dagger? Makes sense for the rich entitled assholes theme the show is going with (as usual)

- His detective superpower is probably gonna he the fact that he’s a serial killer and can thus think like a murdering stalker

- I feel like we are gonna get more crazy stuff from Gemma and Blessing, I think the characters have more to offer

- When charged with a DUI one moves to London and starts an elite club obviously

- WHAT DID I SAY SUN KING LOUIS XIV BABY, thank god he was one of my biggest history hyperfixations

- How much did they pay Adam’s actor for that scene I got to know

- Hmmm why did that lady want a picture of Joe

- EWWWWWW NFTS GET IT OUT OF MY FACE. Kill Simon for me please

- I dont think exposing a piss kink equals murder and framejob

- Wdym Roald Joe smells of New York, Virginia, Vermont and those kinda places

- Do love this snake skin suit Adam has going on

- Yeah I don’t think it’s him either, he’s weird but that isnt a crime

- Red paint meant to symbolize blood I see whats going on

- And ofc Simon immediatly makes performance art out of it

- Didn’t you literally say to stop helping people? Why are you helping Kate out again fool? (Yes its bc hes in love w her I know)

- He sells NFTs of course he stole the other art works

- Nah, he’s an asshole but too casual and laid back to kill someone, frame a person and then fuck around on text about it

- Simon’s gonna get killed I can feel it

- So Malcolm was missing a finger and Simon an ear, both of those had jewelry (a ring and an earring) on those parts so that might be something

- Rhys is getting more and more suspicious but that might also be on purpose

- Kate is just reserved man, not every good act should be for public display

- I love Nadia, if she dies I’m gonna be so mildly disappointed

- OH FUCK YES LETS GOOO GET HIS ASS

[tomdayaconfessions]

I agree with the other anon theory (it was from 4 days ago sorry I'm late lol)

Unlike some other people, I dont think he gave her an ultimatum like "we go semi public or we're done". I don't see him do that because he was on board at the beginning, and they were about to release a second Hit movie and be even more exposed, why would he enjoy that since it's pretty pretty clear he hates seeing people in his business ? It doesn't add up to me. I think they just got to a point where they barely saw each other, Z was very very involved in Euphoria since it was her first big and real role. Maybe neither of them were making any effort to fix things and they felt like it wasn't working out at the very moment so they called for a break ? Personally, I think Tom initiated it, Z was like whatever okay we're on a break but didn't think it was definitive. Her reaction after the july pics (her whole crew was at her place for a full week, she didn't step a foot outside) tells me she didn't expect him to move on because in her head they weren't done done. But it clearly changed everything and we all know what happened afterwards.

I also think they were still in contact (maybe not texting every two business days, but they weren't completely ignoring each other) for the most part of their break up. Tom wanted to text her a pic of him and a fan dressed like MJ at a comic con, she was liking his pics about cherry filming etc. It's just starting Feb to maybe August that they weren't talking. They weren't completely hating each others guts tho.

Other unpopular opinion : I don't believe he wrote a song and serenaded her in 2019 for her bday. She was with Jacob at the time, I know we joke about him being a simp but that would be too much, even for him. Maybe the story about the song is true, but it was another year and the girl got it wrong (also it's not because it was coming from a verified account that it's accurate, we know how people just love to make shit up or informations tend to get twisted if it's the 373736 person telling the story)

(In my head it went like the Ross/Rachel ‘we were on a break’ 😅. Jokes aside, no one knows definitively what went down, but it does seem like things where amicable until the JE pap pics. Everything we’ve seen in 2.0 just shows how much they value their privacy so I do find the argument that it was down to hiding a bit difficult to get my head around. Sometimes you need space to figure out what you want/who you are etc etc particularly when you’re so young in such a mature oriented relationship (the LDR). On the song, I may be wrong but I thought he had it commissioned for her birthday but they’d already split so maybe he never ‘gave’ it to her as that person just said their friend had helped write a song with Tom and it kinda just sat in the metaphorical cupboard. Who knows, maybe he’s played it for her since 🤷‍♀️ Tom was deffo flexing those guitar skills for the world to see during their three month covid separation)

[thoughtsbeewild]

Why does the media and trump make a big deal about POLLS? Its annoying me because its not FINAL PERMANMENT VOTE , AT END PEOPLE CAN CHANGE THIER MIND..YOUR FIGHT IS AGAINST LIES, CORRUPTION, TWO FACES NEXT TO YOU PRETENDING BE YOUR FRIEND.

The polls are just predictions but look at what happened in 2020 election, that shit was stolen for sure. So I wonder did Obama and Biden work with international leaders on a deal to ensure Biden won and shoved it up trump face 4 years ago, say you lost bitch(biden, demoncrat, felt empowered by doing that to him in front of worldwide mainstream media). I remember that but demoncrat like to censor, erase our memory, where you humans are stronger to fight the control over the mind(certain population of true patriots that exist and some humans are damaged goods controlled manipulated by the media, thier followers, thier woke celebrity's, thier liberal friends right..

If mainstream media is definitely doing equal polling just for attention, ratings and to get viewers to watch thier side. I guess why is that focusing point to call out near the election..

In this debate, this may be your one chance to show the world , from all the comments I've read they hope you would be discipline. Dont appear like a crazy maniac like on Truth social for the debate, but wow us like hott damn, but to a point where you are gracefully exposing kamela in a killing with kindess tone with some comedy not meaning Ill beat you at golf or well race a golf cart and ill beat you childish nonsense.

I like that people are saying your opening up to things they wouldnt think you be like marijuana..its good that he being open minded, more open to change... unlike JD Vance, that dude needs get outside his tighty whitey box, explore like dora the explorer not just stick to just white, explore different cultures, backgrounds etc.

Its like you can tell JD vance is hella vanilla goes to an ice cream shop, goes to a sandwich shop. That's something Biden had already done and JD Vance doing same behavior as Biden. Like for real dude, what an amateur, visit local parlors,cmon man. Whats JD vance favorite ice cream? Vanilla with sprinkles lol..

That's shit so white, how bout something different, make the change, encourage people from other cultures hey your message is we welcome everyone, but his public appearance/campaign trailing shows otherwise.. He seems frustrated so who knows on his debate, i think walz will win he has that fake ass lie of enthusiasm going on,walking out like actor tom cruise/ Chris farley show me the money selling that bullshit ..My money on walz for now on VP debate for now,,but hopully JD vance proves the voters and myself wrong...

Something out of your comfort zone.

[toastful]

An Introduction

*looks around as I enter this hell site*

Hmph, I guess this will do.

Hello, I am Toastful aka Greg Schmitty. I don’t believe in social media as I find it a cesspit of unoriginality and pool lovers. These places are where creativity goes to die. Where grown men get in front of a camera, dancing to Taylor Swift and George Micheal. “Twerkin” their “boy pussies” and “throwing” that “ass” in a “circle”. How crude and barbaric. I am I firm believer that such activities should only be performed in private in front of friends and loved ones. Not on the internet for all to see!! Men have truly lost all self worth and dignity over the past 50 years. It’s truly a shame.

Then the question is, why am I here if I loath social media so much? Well to put it bluntly, I am here to add some life and culture to a hell site that obviously needs it. I’m here to set things straight. Metaphorically of course. Another reason I have picked this platform is because there are a large amount of the gays here. Frankly, I feel safe around the gays. I am not one myself, am a fierce ally, but I respect the culture. I’ve kissed my fair share of boys in my day, but I would not consider myself a boy kisser. I respect boy kissers, but I am not one myself, despite previous experience.

Also the website I use to post my writings on got shut down and sold to The Church of Scientology. I don’t believe in organized religions or anyone who associates with Tom Cruise. The bastard. They deleted all my writings since I wouldn’t join their little club and I didn’t back any of it up since I dont believe in going backwards. Only forwards. So much of my work is lost to time. A shame. But alas, we must persist.

I will be posting my writings here for now on. Since this site seems to be the most detached from the degeneracy of the modern web.

Q and A

Who am I?

Greg Schmitty

I live in Hershey Pennsylvania

I hate chocolate with a passion

The day Hershey Park bursts into flames will be the happiest day of my life

How old am I?

35 years old, proud millennial

What is this blog about?

This is a place where I will post my writings and musings on the world

I write mostly poetry about my life, my experiences, my struggles

I’m in the works of writing a novel loosely based on true events from my life

I will also be ranting about people and places and institutions that make my blood boil. Things that rightfully deserved to be called out by someone of my stature and girth

Why are you here?

To bring life and culture back to the Tumble ecosystem

To change the world with my prose

Who’s your biggest inspiration?

Franz Kafka

I too was a bug once

Who’s your biggest enemy

George Micheal

What are some things you like?

Literature

Poetry

Philosophy

Classic novels

Obscure works

Pondering the folly of man

Indie coffee shops with toilets that you need a key to unlock

Chocolated laxative pieces

2 ply toilet paper

Exposed knee caps

Turtle neck sweaters

Mullets

Birkenstock’s

What are some things you loathe?

Stupid people

Anti-intellectualism

Modern day music

Starbucks

Swimming pools

Public toilets

Small dogs

Large cats

Medium sized bears

Taylor Swift’s music

Cucumbers

George Micheal

Books popular on TikTok or “bOoKtOk”

Social media

Mainstream media

Emojis

Sports

Randy

Organized religion

Large bodies of water

Bug spray

George Micheal

Iced coffee

Jeggings

That’s all for now. Expect more posts in the future. Follow me for culture. My asks box is open. Ask me anything. I have nothing to hide.

Goodbye for now

*disappears mysteriously into a puff of smoke*

[jaywritesrps]

This whole thing with Sophia seems like deja vu. She keeps going on and on about how happy she is and how she's finally found her person, just like she did with Grant. From what she said in the Glamour article, it seems like she was pretending before. I hope for her sake that it's true this time, but do truly happy people really keep harping on about how happy they are? Also her saying that Ashlyn is a great mum as if she didn't remove mum from her bio as soon as their relationship became public... Do we also think that she's with Ashlyn because she already has kids? It seems like with her fertility issues and her desire to be a mum, it's maybe easier to be with someone who has kids.

Honestly, I agree with you about Grant and this behavior she has when she ends relationships it's what will happen if she and Ash dont work it out and people that hates Ashlyn will throw that in her face, as one big and fat "I told you so".

Also since the article broke, I can't help to think on two things my sources said a while ago: 1) that it was very easy to believe on AH's narrative when she tells her story, without knowing or ignoring what was going on AK's side and how the whole woso players acted since then and 2) that if you are a public person and you are happy, you don't need keep telling everyone that you happy in every chance you got, cause it makes you looks like Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah's couch to prove his love for Katie Holmes. And right now, Sophia is this close 🤏 to looks like Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah's couch. Besides, this also contradicts her own words when she says "I have nothing to prove cause haters will choose what they want to believe". That might be true, however if you have nothing to prove then why are you working so hard to clean the mess your gf's made? If you want privacy so much, so why do keep bringing your private life to internet and to a magazine? Like I get that she wants to help Ashlyn to clean herself and I applaud her for it and for her loyalty, but she is only making things worse for Ashlyn (also part of me thinks it's a little disrespectful with Ashlyn's wish of keeping private) and proving haters might have a point when they say she is pretending to be happy.

"Do we also think she's with Ashlyn for the kids?"

I still don't have an answer on this, cause, although it seems Sophia is part of Ashlyn's kids' lives and that Ali is okay with that, we don't have much informations about it, which is good cause I am not a fan of exposing kids on SM, especially on times like these with AI (ironic for someone who laughs watching how Charlie is becoming just like her mom Alex lol), but I don't think Sophia is the type of person that will get too comfortable raising other's persons kids, especially when those kids already have two very active moms, and one of those moms is very protective over them, to a point her lawyers want to put a clause in their divorce agreement to make sure the other mom is in the same town as her kids. I think eventually she will want to have her own kids, but i don't think Ashlyn is ready for more, you know. Only time will tell this for us.

[orphic-exe-archived]

(dream, nagito)

before we begin

only a small percentage of viewers are subscribed to the channel

so please consider hitting that button if you end up enjoying this battle

enough of the prattle

you and me in a 1v1

i dont see much challenge, but it still seems fun

it's no pet war, but ill beat you in one verse

and leave you like your dog: hit 'n speedrun

count em up, my WR w's are more plentiful than the wounds that you cut in your arm

you dont really set a high bar talkin bout your fine art

my avatar's drawn more consistent than your sprites are

you hopeless loner, glad you know your own worth

dont need to dig down to know this stepping stone's below dirt

i know you wanna get hinata, but your luck's not so grand

if you cant even boost the odds of you huntin your man

howd you not hit byakua's imposter even with the pounds that that dude sports? (george!)

guess this rapid fan is only catchin hands with transplants corpse (george!)

grab a bow and arrow for this ghost white barebones

you could grow a forrest with that bonemeal hair, bro

check all the careers im settin the stage for

while your lymphoma's set in the stage four!

what a grand display!

with all the wars you struggle to bear

im mere trash in the way when compared to the ultimate square

but when it comes to despair?

i have none left to spare

so make like that disc pair

give it up in this pair

i went through with one goal: exposing the traitor

while you got exposed exploiting the traitors

pursuing that dough, then toy with your players

tom's suicide note is your kinda paper

and paired with your stan audience?

ive inhaled gas less toxic

he labels himself spotless

but ive got it!

let me break it down:

not a perfect roster your team crafted (huh?)

ultimate imposter of Team Crafted (huh?)

then it met the same end cuz then schlatt won (huh?)

and turned l'manburg to l'manhunt!

and "normal"s the only way to describe your catalogue of bland songs

tell that plastic cg ragdoll

"it's best to keep the mask on"

oh, c'mon i thought you toted bombs

with just a glance at your chances, your fans went "no that's wrong!"

ironic clay lacks foundation with all the arguments he's built

and you're only blessed with fortune when it's from your parents will!

you started your wooden arc sailing on a ship

that explains why, on the microphone, you failed to land a hit

you're numb as it gets; your luck must've gun to your head

but you're only firing blanks like it's russian roulette!

your franchise took the stage, and it ignited some flames

but ill be snuffin you all out like a fire grenade

call my fans creepy, stanning every student around

but your only friends now are like george, not found!

your hopes are shining through, but it's just a matter of time

'fore the net treats you like tommy and wilbur:

"it's banishing time" (monokuma says this bit)

you couldn't kill tracks, but you still lack a clean record

congrats, youre not the blackened!

so what's your excuse for the n-word?

every time drama comes up

you dont respond and let it be!

all you can speedrun from

is your responsibility!

luck's an awful talent

but you don't even share it

you're gaming's worst cheater on the scene since pro jared!

so here's my statement:

how fitting that dream's your name

as you're to be quickly forgotten once your crowd of teens awaken

your hopes for world renown and loving fans got to see the day, but

we all know the dark path your DreamWasTaken.

that’s pretty impressive that you memorized all that ngl

if you want an essay of useless information about the mystery flesh pit national park, the mandela catalogue, or the hit roblox horror game doors, i’m your guy 😔

[spilltheteawithme]

and she still posts about his projects./ yeah because lets be real for a secound and think does any of her project, evnnts or anything in last 3 years make any interest in social media?.....no. The most she get is from seb, cannes with seb, pap walks with seb seb. Alone she cant keep people interested in her project, she had this italian movie and the day of the premiere she lost fallowers, LOST when usually actors gaint thanks to new project, her new movies announcement get bearly 12,000 at best its so little for an account that claim have honest 1M fallowers, the most she get is when she bait seb or tag along in his project. Even if she was on different planet for her movie she would tag him because for now only with her tallent she is bearly surviving but with seb she is living good. Truth is she losing fallowers and interest every day(you can check statistic if you whant), and i think even delulu shippers must know that thats why they went crazy in last day exposing, doxing and harrasing, they feel helpless because not only their fantasy about seb and aw is not reality but also noone care about aw(fans or even other celebs she interact with like david or tom), shippers probably are the grouple of max. 10 persons who just scream loud and spend whole day online but no matter how many times they say that aw is activist or amaizing actress or good person dont change the fact that people leaving her everyday because she is just not interesting at all and more and more people are done with her and her bahaviour(also thanks to some shippers who claim that we should love aw or if you are seb fan account you should post aw too because she is like his wife🙄). You shippers make normal people hate her more, noone whant to hear what they opinion should be or what they should do, and not for someone who isnt even important enaught to make past someones gf statut.

and again the shippers ignore people in their bubble actually stalking him following all his friends, family, acquaintances, doxxing him and following him and clearly others in his life and try to turn it on me having a gossip blog 🙄🤣

[candyredmusings]

“Another One Of Those ‘Things My Discord Said’ Sentence Starters.

Things taken from DMs and a few group chats from Discord. CW: NSFT Change / Edit as necessary !

i am literally tom cruise

cum is cool.

[NAME]  is fucked up cus he is straight man

[NAME]  show me your fuckin tits

[NAME], you better not be standing catatonic in your room wearing your handmade jigsaw robe again.

its like they creampied me but instead of cum it was new music

like what about my pussy-area makes u think sea cucumber

the mind is weak. but the body is funky

so im reading that fanfic where 1d like, buys your soul or whatever and im shook

well tom servo is a sex god

and then i freaked it

FUCK YOU APPLE JACK FUCK

ILL SLURP WITH YOU

LEMME SHOW U DICK

ITS A SIDE QUEST YOU SILLY BITCH

I’m a zombie the law can’t stop me

LEAVE YOUR GOLDEN UNCRUSTABLES OUT OF MY HOME I WILL NOT FALL VICTIM TO THY TRICKERY

you, telling me to ignore a twink with side swept brown hair? foolish.

Hes so hot i briefly started texting like a straight person

and because I’m god and I’ve decided that. No. In fact. I’m not done.

MY DUMB BOTTOM BRAIN FOLLOWS COMMANDS TOO WELL

[NAME], I know you love bloopy reggae jams. Now is not the time

OH THATS WHAT I THOUGHT YOUD SAY YOU STUPID ACCIDENTAL HIMBO DEMON

man i rlly am attracted to paul mccartney.

its not that kennedy was gay af sleeping w jackies fat ass out, he just has a better one-

jealous of my massive honkeers

YOU BRAINCELLED BITCH

this forced open my third eye and i saw the devil--

oh me seeming romantically interested in u is making u uncomfortable?? noted

the only pussy this party city shake out wig looking mother fucker is getting

[NAME]  expose your teeth right fucking now

IN THE DEPARTMENT OF OLD MAN FUCKING, WEVE GOT YOU BEAT

What if we kissed while one of us got called racist and we are both boys

i just jacked it to minecraft piss porn

I will pop a huge tentacle boner

i hate females fr fr

we left u to die to play minecraft

IM GONNA FRICKLE-FRACK YOUR WIFE

CAN I KARATE CHOP IT LIKE IN SPONGEBOB

DWIGHT FROM THE OFFICE IS NOT MY SKRUNKLY

she would never ever take away one of these stupid fucking hats

My brother in Christ you’re being haunted

i want to wring you like a wet towel and slap u against a wall

Yeah you'll come to learn I just have a thing for milk

Piss ur pants harder pls I wanna watch

I'm gonna corn on the kill myself

good morning to parappa and his stans. everyone else..... hi ig

lol look at this clown with no slurs

God has abandoned his children but unfortunately for you I pay child support and I will smite thee.

this is how I reveal myself to be homophobic

I have no sluts

idk what it is abt it but boba makes me become like an actual whore

im homophobic suddenly

he was like ‘You're so big”.... and i just started crying

anyones penis can be hard hes not special

for the love of god please help me

i can talk about piss for hours

im sorry i havent recognized mickey mouse clubhouse ost as the cultural landmark that it is

I ASKED IF WE WOULD RP AFTER FUCKING BIBLE STUDY OR WHATEVER

the benefits of being a yandere is that i dont have to forgive OR forget and I am a living breathing PVP zone so Fuck with me white boy.

When toxic by ashnikko comes on I enter the gaslight gatekeep phases of my girlbosshood

im like a child in line for the newest fucked up disney ride

[NAME] is just all fucking Sorts of fucked up

im clownfaking

why are we here? to suffer? every other day i get messages from a whore

always thinking abt when my friend called me a "white boy whore"

you gotta PUMP the errand girl with cocaine

im beyond shame bc i love all cock try again

people have fetishes.

They really do crucify anyone these days huh

u may have never hungered for cock but you have hungered for a sub sandwich and honestly? theyre basically the same thing-

hi im drawing hentai

[NAME] idk why but that really. makes me want to stab you

“Don't have sex FOMO, [NAME], no! “

“TRY AND NUKE THIS, BITCH.”

“There's a group of golden skeletons behind you hitting the griddy “

“GRANDPA’S ASHES SUCKED MY COCK AND TOOK ME TO ARBYS.”

“You’re lanky with no gender and silly goofy with the rizz it works.”

“You can’t just tell me I could be a Tumblr sexy man to my face at 4:30 PM.”

"I have strong opinions about the soviet union"

“CALL THAT PUSSY THE MATRIX CAUSE IM IN THIS BITCH AND I CANT GET OUT “

“dont cry. 8000 types of reptiles on the planet, okay?”

[NAME] lives his life like he’s an RPG character but picks only the rude dialogue options.”

“I need to beat off to this before God destroys California.”

"No amount of pussy could get me on a rollercoaster with three loops"

"I love your senior citizen pussy"

"Gerber is pretty reliable .. I mean .. The Gerber baby didn't die .... did it?"

“you are white i assume”

"I hate you terrorist, and you may quote me on that"

"I love watching you play minecraft. It's like watching a baby fawn."

"I've never seen old men who fuck harder."

"i don't need him to KILL i need him to FUCK ME"

"well maybe if you just dicked down your wife she wouldn't have gone on a murderous slut rampage"

"why cant these BIG titty bimbos stop HANGING around me"