#dont make me cry with happiness damn it
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You're never truly alone with vessel's voice pouring poetry straight into your ears. The frequnecy of which wraps its way around your heart, and you can't help but feel comfort, even in some of his agony, in some of his pain, and all of his love.
#sleep token#not me typing this while sitting in the dark and just relishing the sound as loud as i can stand it#i swear i am having a great day#im just ✨️💫🌟#dont make me cry with happiness damn it#anyway im as soft as a ripe banana so please dont touch me
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timbern interconnected fates but not like by chance but like bernard wrestling with destiny to make sure he gets to have tim in his life
#bear who lost time for years and fucking army crawled his way into getting him back#bear who hung around wayne ent events in the hope that he'd just happen to run into tim and they'd reconnect#bernard dowd who looked fate in the eye and said 'fuck you. tim is my happy ending and if you wanna take that away you're gonna have to#fight me for it'#and tim drake who once he knew what he wanted got tag teamed into the smackdown#tim drake who will crawl through dimensions to get back to bear#tim drake who takes better precautions on patrols now because he's got his bear to come home to now and he'll be damned if he#ever makes bear cry tears over his sorry ass again#tim drake who looks fate in the and says 'i dont care how many times you put a hit on me. i'll come back to him every time.'#bernard dowd#tim drake#timbern#timber#the idea of bernard's love being stronger than a universe that had really no plans of putting him and tim back together again makes me#wanna sob. he loved tim so much that it rewrote their narratives. i need to go lay down
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Yes these have all already been posted, but 2023 Vettonso comp post for me because I'm going to have an emotional breakdown
#i dont want to sound like a maniac but. i manifested this JDKFLGLVLV#okay but understand. ive been vettonso posting for like 3 or so weeks now#have been drawing them like its my god damn career#have been squealing and screeching over them with everyone#and like oh hey! they're both gonna be at suzuka! and seb is having a bee event! maybe nando will go!#BUT THEN NO I DONT HAVE TO JUST LIVE WITH SCRAPS. I GOT A WHOLE FUCKING MEAL#I AM GOING TO SCREAM AND CRY AND ROLL AROUND THE FLOOR#*i say as if i haven't done all of those things in quick succession after seeing these#yknow very fortuitous time for my parents to have gone on a vacation. so they didnt have to be witness to the emotional breakdown i just had#i was making noises that have not been uttered by human beings before :)#BUT LIKE INWAS LITERALLT JUDT DRAWING VETTONSO FANART#AND I FINISHED IT AND SCHEDULED IT#and was all silly in the tags like 'haha wonder if we'll get any interaction'#and then i go to scroll tumblr one last time before slepeing and I RECEIVE THIS FUCKING 12 COURSE MEAL#i cannot actually describe the emotion i felt when i first saw the pic#like genuine fucking shock through my body like just was like 'is this actually happening'#i said to C today 'i will be happy if we even get a pic of them within eachother's vicinity'#and well wow. theyre certainly within each others vicinities rn#if we actually get any more pics i think i will keel over i think i will actually turn into dust and powder on the floor#UGHHHHHHH JUST THE TIMING!!!!!! THEY DID IT FOR ME 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#sometimes manifesting does work. after you draw like 20 hours worth of art of them#im trying to be concise but i really cant#because its literally just animal screeching and whining noises in my head rn#HOW DO I SLEEP AFTER THIS???????????????#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#2023 japanese gp#we do a little bit of f1
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Gonna be so for real right now
Real life fucking sucks, this is why i spend so much time writing fics and binge watching Doctor Who because I’ll tell you right now I can’t afford my damn student loan payments and I’m sorry but no amount of skipping out on $7 coffee and not going out to eat is going to help me pay over $600 a month for just one set of loans; that money (and more than that!) has to go towards my rent, my electric bill, my internet so I can even pay those other fucking bills and idk groceries and gas in the car so I can even get to work to make the money
But hey. Go ahead and make me feel like shit for buying coffee before work to keep my ass awake because I can’t afford adhd meds or therapy.
#but hey other people have it worse for me and all I wanna do is sit and cry in the corner about my sad pathetic life#fuck this im so fucking tired of feeling like treating myself to anything is something to feel guilty about#and I’m tired of being hungry. tired of having no idea how to enjoy living when I’m simply exisiting#personal#depression tw#mental illness#you want real caboose this is real caboose: I’m not fucking fine#but catch me writing twojamie later cuz it makes me fucking HAPPY damn it and sometimes thats the only thing i can do so i dont cry
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love being crazy. never a dull moment
#its ridiculous how i present myself and my symptoms so neatly sorted VERSUS how i actually experience that shit first-hand#we were doing some grounding safe-space exercise with my doc today n i was you know. imagining the places#n then out of nowhere i saw -her- there. i dont know why it felt so surprising but... she came for me and i was so... touched#like i... think i just... i didnt know she was real? i thought. god this sounds so miserable but i really thought i was making her do this#even though weve been talking for years and shes been my comfort. but i think its cuz she came when i didnt expect her and she just took my#hand and i. i did feel safe#it did feel like a safe space. but then i was so shocked by this whole thing that i forgot why we were even doing this exercise in the firs#place n my doc was like so! what did you see : ) n i know i could. have been quiet but i guess we were trying to mask less and i was still#so shocked that i really just told her. yes doc i... saw a... a friend. shes been with me for a while now but i was still thinking shes jus#a character or something. but she came to me and she told me she cared and im just so happy that shes real bcs i love her#ive loved her and i thought i was making her stay but she wanted to stay with me! bcs she loved me too!!#and i was like trying not to spontaneously cry bcs i legit was NOT expecting any of that. and i was also ... actually i dont think i though#abt it feeling cringe. even tho it. is a little difficult... but i DID think about how strange it felt to be honest abt it with a doctor#bcs its like... with the docs ive had and life in general its always...not about being honest but abt HOW WILL SAYING THIS HELP ME GET X#and yeah i dont trust them. even tho i... trust these doctors i guess. theyve been handling it well for years. they admit the system#still it feels so damn unsafe to mention anything cuz how crazy is TOO crazy for a person with power over you... anyway i do trust the doc#n she knew. but its still weirdddd to mention shit abt it that is not life or death. but it was so out of nowhere and i was so happy like#KATRIN!!! KATRIN SHES REAL!! SHES REAL OH GOD SHES ACTUALLY THERE FOR ME IM GOING TO CRY!!!! WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABT
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Everytime I draw Joe Cartwright I get overwhelmed with the desire to only ever draw Joe
#you dont understand#my hyperfixation with Bonanza started around 2014-2015 but I didn't start to draw fanart of Joe or Bonanza until like... 2018.#It's hard to explain but back then I was TERRIFIED of drawing Joe cause I was afraid I would draw him wrong and get discouraged by-#not being a talented enough artist#and OH I wanted to draw fanart so badly - But I didn't dare to do it. I was afraid to be self-indulgent#Going YEARS and wanting so badly to draw my favorite character but being scared to do it... compared to know#I'm way more self-indulgent than I was- and now I'm drawing Bonanza Fanart and being indulgent in it and it makes me beyond happy#It makes me so happy I'm actually crying#I draw Joe Cartwright and it just makes me so unbelieveably happy... happy that I CAN do it. Happy that I am talented enough.#Being talented doesn't even really matter - Happy that I learned to be self-indulgent and HAVE FUN. and most of that is thanks to Juni.#I could write a whole damn essay on how much it means to me#so yes drawing Joe makes me so very happy#im not crying - not at all
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my dog is dead but im kind of chill rn because im drawing butch nine and rose appreciatijgnher girlfriend so im basically happy right now
#nobody gets how chill i feel right now like ueah it sucked he died#but what can i do#i dont wanna sit arond all day and cry#doctor who makes me happy so i’ll draw some God Damn doctor who#vent#?#dictions
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same but im only 18
Also trama dumping in tags like a B) very cool sane person (im actually pretty good mentally im just fruity in the brain)
!!!Violence for self Violence mention!!!
‘why are you 30 years old and still trying to have fun with your life instead of being a soulless cog in the machine’ fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
#Me but im 18 with a supportive anarchist dad#Im trying to just make money off of my art#Trying my best to learn actual skills#Meanwhile everyone else#Just telling me i will never equate to anything#If i dont force myself to work a horrible job#Where i know i wont be able to handle it#I literally HAD to drop out of school#I have too many scars to survive that environment#Plus like my dad actually makes a good bit#We plan to have a garden and sell crops!#Im very happy about what my future could hole#But everyone else just makes it such a horrible exsprence#I just want to build a good future i will be proud of#One that i will be happy to live#And like my dad is okay with that and just <3333 hes so cool#Shout out to my dad#Opset of shout out to my mom for being the main contribution to this#Hh i cant hate my mom (most of the time) but damn#Literally will cry if someone calls me annoying bc of her#I grew up thinking in stupid worthless and picky#Turns out im actually a lil bit above average in book smarts and problem solving#Also like im hot#So thats worth something#Also im not picky im autistic and even then like the only thing i dont like is#Like tomatoes onions and that weird bit in chicken legs also rubbery ham pieces#Other than that im a trashcan for food
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Never not thinking about the way ashton confesses his love to isabella like first off theyre at the bar it’s revealed isabella plans to try and go back to the mansion on her own to find a way to end the curse and ashton holds her hand and pleads for her not to do that because it’s highly dangerous and they all need to stick together. But then he sneaks off to break into the mansion on his own, literally right after telling isabella not to do that, but he thinks it’s okay if it’s him because he feels responsible for everything and that he has to always put on a brave face and carry his friends’ burdens and destroy himself to keep them safe and that his life isn’t as important so it’s not like it’ll matter if he ends up dying. And then he does almost die, is literally being strangled to death in the creepy attic and would be dead until isabella comes to save him. And shes pissed off. She absolutely fucks up johannes with a taser and a fucking rolling pin because no one hurts her friends and gets away with it. And then she slaps ashton right across his face and yells at him for being reckless and thinking he can just put himself in danger without telling anyone and for being a hypocrite and she makes it clear "you count too, you know. When I said I didn’t want to lose anyone else, that included you."
And that’s when it clicks. Ashton notes how unconditionally and wholeheartedly isabella loves, and it finally kicks in that oh. She loves him. She’s always loved him. And maybe he’s worth loving. He’s then literally so fucking giddy about his discovery that he’s got a big fat grin despite the fact he just nearly died, got slapped, AND got scolded pretty hard. And he takes isabella’s hand again and does what he’s always afraid to do: he apologizes. He’s sorry for always teasing her, and for being reckless, and he’s sorry for taking so long to apologize. "But for all those callous words, there’s nothing I don’t love about you. Those things...I love them. And everything. Everything that’s you."
It’s quiet, then isabella just fucking starts sobbing hysterically. And then ashton is like SHIT SHIT FUCK OH GOD IM SORRY DID I FUCK UP and she asks him why. Why the hell would he say something like that to her? She lists all these reasons, she doesn’t have anything at all she’s never had money and she only eats cheap instant noodles, she can’t do anything with someone helping her, and she was never able to become an artist even though she was so close. She genuinely doesn’t understand how someone like her could ever be seen as anything special, she’s been conditioned into believing that shit like that is for other people but it’ll never happen to her so she doesn’t even allow herself to consider it a possibility. And yet, AND YET
And ashton doesn’t hesitate one second, he looks right at her and says that all those things are still her and he loves everything about her. AND THEN THEY KISS AND HOLD EACH OTHER JUST FOR A MOMENT JUST LETTING THEMSELVES FORGET THE HORRORS BECAUSE THEY HAVE EACH OTHER AND THEY WALK OUT HOLDING HANDS
#the klock keeps ticking#the letter#yeah im having normal feelings about this like i always am#ive watched this scene soooo many fucking times and literally lose my shit tremendously every time#like damn for someone who cant use words for shit ashton sure can be dreamy when he wants to be#its just about the way they both love each other so much and would do anything for each other no matter what#and like when they say these things to each other you KNOW they mean it and thats what really gets me#like they will make sure the other knows how amazing they are and how loved they are#also i think its really funny how rebecca says that if ashton ever makes isabella cry she’ll beat him with a dictionary#and literally the first thing that happens after he confesses is isabella just starts sobbing#also no i cannot talk about the coma confession or the ashton breakdown scene or the shot through the heart scene#i will start sobbing so hard i get sick i am not kidding 😭#everything is literally happy forever i dont CARE if the curse never ends you simply cannot take this away from me
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really wish i had ppl who gave a shit about my stuff 🫶
#not to vent here i just wonder if my stupid shit is good enough for people to like#like idk man i dunno whats true or not anm i cant exactly talk about these forever but i want to bc i got attached#just#i work so hard only to get nothing out of it#and theres inly so few people who appreciate it and im happy they do it for me and i love them for it#but i cant help this damn feeling lol#and yes it IS fc related cuz its just something i really care about making from#no matter how stupid or ridiculous#its still something j really like writingr and drawing for#but nobody really is here to listen#anyway#chase and ava chapter outlines r almost 40 and im nowhere near done LMAO#and if i ever get to finish it before july#ill be happy enough#and also if i hit far cry 7 again….. thatll be saved for next year if im still into it lol#but im writing that too#i wont get anything out of this#nobody’s going to see it#or care#i accepted it but it doesnt mean i dont feel sad about it lmao#but hey at least im sad for this and not like. utterly suicidal#haha :’)
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Honestly, my abuser saying Louis was just as bad as Lestat or basically implying they hate how people write Lestat off as more abusive than he is or that Louis was just as abusive was a red flag I should've put a lot more stock into.
#The guy was Empathizing with a capital E.#God hold me back cuz I LAUGH at them. Abuser all weh u..abused me..cuz...u called me stupid and annoying when I wouldn't let u leave me#after ur 30239929292th attempt#Youre abusive cuz...u made me feel so unloved when you kept trying to leave me! :'(((#LMAOAOOA yeah if thats abuse then slap my ass and call me sally cuz ill always try to leave you#You fuckin insane psychopath. constantly putting damn words in my mouth and telling ME what i ACTUALLY mean#you dont care about anything i have to say. you need to be the one slighted to justify why you feel so offended 24/7.#dude u wanna be a fucking victim so bad then fuckin be my guest u fuckin miserable sick sad sack of absolute dog shit#always calling me a liar and putting me on the podium to state my case infinite times till you hammered me into gaslighting myself#to support your interpretation. go to hell.#you are chronically miserable for a reason. and you will NEVER find reprieve in that. EVER. just as you deserve.#YOU made me start therapy because of the CONSTANT confusion and emotional trauma i endured with you.#YOU made me cry all the time at work.#YOU gave me chest pains and difficulty breathing. just seeing YOUR DAMN NAME on my phone gave me panic attacks#YOU did so much FUCKED UP SHIT to me and you NEVER ACCEPTED ANY REALITY BUT ME HURTING YOU ON PURPOSE#you literally tell me 24/7 i dont care about you and i would drop THOUSANDS of dollars on you#AND FUCKIN WATCH UR SHOWS 3 TIMES IN A ROW#AND CALL AND TEXT U EVERY NIGHT. SIT AND HELP YOU PREP FOR JOB INTERVIEWS.#I DREW UR DAMN OC SO OFTEN HE PRACTICALLY BECAME MY MOST DRAWN CHARACTER#I DID SO MUCH TO SHOW U I CARED. BE IT GIFTS. MONEY. BE IT TIME. BE IT HELPING IN#UR VTUBING CAREER U WANTED TO START.#BE IT SPENDING NIGHTS SOMETIMES TILL 6AM JUST MAKING SURE YOU'RE OKAY.#I JUST. DID. SO. FUCKING. MUCH. IT WAS NEVER ENOUGH FOR YOU. I HOPE YOU DIE. SUFFER. BURN IN HELL.#I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I WILL NEVER STOP HATING YOU.#I GAVE YOU SO MUCH. I WAS HAPPY TO TOO. WHAT A FOOL I WAS. NOTHING I DID WAS EVER ENOUGH. YOU ALWAYS HAD TO FUCKIN COMPARE#OR GET JEALOUS WHEN I SPENT ONE SECOND WITH ANYONE ELSE#U NEEDED TO GRILL ME FOR EVERYTHING#ASK WHO I WAS WITH#NEEDED TO KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING JUST IN CASE IT WAS SOMEONE YOU DIDNT LIKE#UR FUCKIN ABSURD. UR INSANE. ROT IN HELL. FUCKIN GET TORN APART DOWN THERE. I HOPE YOU SUFFER. I WANT TO WATCH. I WILL LAUGH.
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Spent today getting caught up on miraculous, remembered how much I hate the ice cream guy
#F ANDRE ALL MY HOMIES HATE ANDRE#I don’t know why the characters kid themselves saying everyone loves Andre as if EVERY TIME THEY GO TO HIM THEY DONT END UP CRYING!!!!#screw that man and his aphobic ice cream#that man is way too invested in the romance lives of teenagers tbh#not even accusing him of being a creep here just genuinely like why are u so bothered by this man. they’re kids. none of ur business.#I don’t care how tasty his ice cream is. if you want to get ice cream with someone other than whoever Andre ships u with FORGET ABOUT IT#my siblings and I would be like ‘hey can we get ice cream’ and he’d say ‘BUT YOURE RELATED!!! THATS DISGUSTING!!!’ like it’s not ICE CREAM.#main reason I hate him so much tbh is that I’m very sensitive about how happy going out for ice cream can make ppl and how easily it can be#ruined. and seeing these characters go to him expecting a nice ice cream only to wind up crying cuz ANDRES A LITTLE BINCH makes me SO UPSET.#your job is to bring people JOY with ICE CREAM. and instead ur obsessed with their LOVE LIVES. GET OVER IT MAN. GIVE THEM THEIR DAMN ICE#CREAM. sorry for the andre miraculous ladybug rant top 10 characters I hate.
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Oh baby tomorrow. Today technically. It's already here huh. Just sort of happening. Just like that. Cool beans (<- abt 2 cry)
#rat rambles#band posting#/pos btw but also god damn#Im just. fuck man bndori means so so much to me and all of this has been so overwhelming in a good way but still#Ive been wanting to talk more abt everything thats been going on but I just genuinely cannot word my feelings on everything its so much#like dont yall think for even a second that I havent been internally freakingthe fuck out over lisa giving moca her tie (and yukina to ran)#and hinas speech and lisa and kaoru and maya and eve and ako and ran and just fucking everyone everyone is making me wanna fucking cry#bndori is just. so important to me for many reasons but largely just because it marks such a shift in my life for the better#I wont like credit it for everything ofc but like dude it supported me through some rly rough patches and helped me pull myself forward#like idk this sounds kind of silly but. I think its one of the first medias Ive been into thats actually made me feel good#like not just passionate and hyperfixated on but like actual joy#like from the media itself. god just moca laughing makes me so happy#and again this also might sound kinda silly but I think that joy did a lot to help me like. want to feel better?#like want to change things and move forward even if slowly#and I still have a long way to go but Ive genuinely made so much progress and again I wont directly credit bandori but it certainly helped#also it helped me properly realise Im a lesbian lol#blows a kiss to kaoru. thanks for making me a rimi kinnie ig#also thanks to dawn for being the reason I got into it genuinely changed my life for the better thanks man#but like seriously I think you also generally did a good amount to help me get better at social stuff online#even if we havent talked in a while 😔#but like seriously I dont know what I would have done if you hadnt reached out to me time and time again to chat#Id probably have just melted in my own isolation lol#welp that got a bit personal fast I should probably go 2 bed now djdkhskdh#gn gamers and uhhh sorry if you followed me during my peak paranoia era I was going thru it lol
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i can feel like shit for a full day, and all it takes is for him to say "i love you" and i feel better instantly...
#personal#fml#i love him#and i know its dumb of me that my mood depends on him in a way but just a couple nice words is all i need#i dont wanna depend on him and what he says and how he feels about me but damn does it feel good when he says the L word#i just wanna find a way to make this work#i wanna be with him#but i am terrified i will mess things up#or that my poor mental health will be an issue#i dont wanna be too much again#ive been told im too much so many times#and to just not be sad#but he seems to get it#but i am still scared it may end up being too much to deal with#i dont wanna mess it up#aaaaaaaa#i just wanna scream#and cry#i just wanna be happy#why cant i let myself be happy
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How...how are you alive?
Kenji sato x Fem! [Different demention] Reader.
☆♡☆♡☆
SUMMARY:Ken had a lover named Y/n, but she had passed away. He was devastated from that. Then 2 years later his mother was declared dead. So he took the opportunity to move to japan and restart his career in his home country. But then something strange happened. There was a exact copy of his lover in his living room. Except she wasnt his y/n. She was different.....from a different demention.
[A/n:Im gonna try and make this into like a series i guess lol]
(Warning: sexual tension, angst, confusion, crying, my cutie ken sad basically the whole story. Y/n has brown eyes & brown hair[ya know bc shes from a different demention]<tell me if i missed any>)
Pt1, pt2, pt3, pt4, pt5.
♡♡♡♡
It was different. Sad. Not like what he had thought his life would feel like. Y/n had died 2 years ago because of cancer. He remembers her blue eyes sparkling like the ocean when the sun began to rise from the night sky. Her blonde hair swaying in the wind perfectly all fluffy and soft. Her plumped lips smiling showing her pearly white teeth. Her dress would be thigh length and sway in the wind so majestically. Her sweet voice would say the most beautiful things when she spoke. But then....her eyes became dried cracked wholes in her head. Her hair began to fall out and become like straw. Her smile started to turn into a signature line. Her voice started to sound ruff and hard. But one thing never changed. How much she loved Kenji. Everytime she saw him walk into her hospital room with the signature red roses and smiling happy to see her fiancé. But then it all ended with that one last beep on the monitor. After that he didnt want to find love ever again. It hurt to much. The sound of her laughter when they would cuddle and tickle each other. Or when they would wake up with each other in bed and stay there all day. It wouldn't be the same.
Then 2 years after that his mom was declared dead. Something snapped in him. He moved to japan to restart his career and forget about everything that wanted to make him cry all day.
So now he was on his way to play basbell. The Giants. Fight as Ultra man. And restart. But how he had asked to please make the pain stop to anything that could have the power to. Anything.
.
.
.
That was until he woke up to a crashing in his living room and a female screaming.
He had grabbed his baseball bat and tip toed to the sound. It was a girl. A women. She turned around and looked at him scared.
.
.
.
It was Y/n.
But it wasn't her exactly....She has brown hair and brown eyes. Probably taller than her and more plump in some areas...*ahem*.
"(Y/n?)"
She looked even more confused. "Uh, yes" she said uncertain. "Who are you and why the fuck am i here?"
He was in shock. Why was there someone that looked like his y/n but so so different. Plus his y/n never cussed. The only bad word he ever heard her say was crap. And she said fuck like shes used to saying it.
"W-Wait, you dont know me?" Kenji asked confused. He waited for her answer. ".....nooo?"
Fuck. What the fuck. How is this possible.
But, after some time. He learned that Y/n was 22 and was living in California. She worked at a cafe and book store to make ends meat. She was the complete opposite to what y/n was like. She didn't even have the same color at all like her. Brown hair, brown eyes, playful/sassy attitude and less innocent.
"Well, can you help me get to my home demention because like ya know, im not suppose to be in this one?"
Damn. She's right. She has to go home sometime. He looks at her thinking.
"Plus, everytime you look at me your litterely burning holes into my ass and tits"
Yep she definitely not his Y/n. How will this go now. His life is already a mess to began with...
♡♡♡♡
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Alastor and married reader but instead of the whole other thing, he kills her husband and is the shoulder for her to cry on (cliche, I know) not wanting her to hate him. And you know- smut somewhere along the way
The happiest day of your life was your wedding day.
The thought of living your days in matrimonial bliss with the man of your dreams had always been your future plans.
Until it wasn’t….
Your dreams of waking up beside your soulmate, having a big family, and living out your days in love were all crushed the day you were told to come to the coroner.
To identify your husband.
You stared at the casket as the pastor read the sermon and it was lowered into the dirt.
You felt nothing.
Numb.
The heavens must of felt your sadness as there was an endless pour.
Many family members and friends gave their condolences but you didn’t even acknowledge them.
How?
Why?
what had your husband done so terribly that someone would…
The cold of the rain disappeared as a hand grasped your shoulder, pulling your soaked body into theirs “You’ll catch a chill standing like that dear”
Alastor.
He held an umbrella over the two of you as you watch the diggers throw dirt onto the coffin.
You felt hot tears swell in your eyes and your body shook as sobs ran through you. You turned to Alastor, eyes glassy and lip wobbling and you sniffed
“I-I just…why? This-this…it wasnt suppose to be like this” you sobbed as Alastor gathered you in his arms and ran a soothing hand on your back.
He patted your back, letting you cry in his shoulder as he hummed “there there dear, itll be all right. Cry it out doll”
You curled into him as he held you, a hand rubbing your shoulder and back in comfort, whispering gentle words to try and ease your pain.
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You and Alastor grew up together.
He was practically your best friend.
Hes seen you at your happiest and now at your saddest.
He was always your confidant and rock….until you met your husband.
You stopped coming down to the radio station.
You wanted to include him in on outings.
You wanted the two important men in your life to get along…
To share
Alastor would be damned if he gave you up.
But for you, he bared it.
He watched you marry the man you loved.
And he might could have lived happy knowing you were happy, but there was something inside him that just wouldnt go away about you withdrawing your affections from him and redirect them to another man.
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You sighed as you looked around the house. Your husband had just bought it and it was suppose to be a surprise after your wedding.
But now it just served as a reminder of what will never be.
“You should stay cher, the house is in your name” Alastor chirped, roaming around.
“I just dont feel right being here when…its just no longer what I thought it would be” you say glaring at a wedding portrait. Alastor smirked, rounding from the kitchen, wrapping his arms around you “Then redecorate! Add a bit of color. Make use of this lovely home”
You thought about it, you would hate to resell it. You didnt want to go back home to live with your parents.
You sighed again.
“Then stay here with me…at least until” Alastor smiled, a soft chuckle escaping his lips.
“You think i was gonna leave? Oh darling im hurt you even thought of me like that”
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Alastor sat on top the man as he smiled cruelly down at him.
“She was never meant to be your wife.” he squeezed the man’s neck seething.
“Years. I spent years courting her. She might be a bit slow, but all I needed was a nudge. And then here you come. Bright and opinionated, always the knight in shining armor” The man gasped as Alastor’s grip tightened.
“Shes like a Doe, Shes cautious at first, feed her and be kind and shell come to you willingly. But I am the Hunter. I have calculated where and how my Doe reacts. I didnt need you messing up my plans.” the man stuttered in a choke
“Rest assure old chum, she makes a good wife” Alastor growled.
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You felt bad that Alastor spent most of his time over. You had tried to encourage and reassure him that you felt better and that he should go home, but the man was stubborn and knew you well enough to decline.
”Al people will start to talk if you’re constantly here. I’m a widow now, you’ll be the talk of town if you linger.”
Alastor shrugged “when have i ever cared about what others think and besides…when have you known me to just let you wallow in sorrow.”
Never. Alastor always found a way to make you smile even when you were sad.
You admit that you have enjoyed having Alastor around these last few weeks.
Hes helped you decorate the house, find joy again in life, and even staying with you.
You didn’t want to admit it, but what affections you already had for the man, had seemed to grow. You put it off as just a way that you were trying to cope from the loss of your husband.
But that wasn’t the case….
Because before your husband….it was Alastor.
But you had just chalked it up to silly childhood emotions.
——————————————————————————————-
The rain poured as the wind and thunder whipped around outside.
You and Alastor were cuddled on the couch looking through old photos.
You giggled as you flipped through the pages, reminiscing about your youth.
”lord what were we thinking….our mamas had a fit” you laughed shaking your head, Alastor chuckled “I think your mud pies improved”
You snort “Its the only thing I can actually cook”
The fire crackled as the storm raged outside and you leaned your head against his shoulder.
”you know…I can’t thank you enough.” You whispered, causing the man to flick his eyes to you curious
”For what my dear?”
You fiddle with the crochet blanket, burying your face in the crook of his neck, groaning in embarrassment “for always being there for me. I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t there at the funeral…You’re really my saving grace Al”
Alastor’s lips curled into a smile, nuzzling into your hair, a deep rumble rakes his chest as lanky arms bound around you.
”Oh ma cherie don’t say such things. We’ve known each other for years if anything you’re my saving grace.”
You pulled back a bit to give him a funny look, to make a snarky remark but the way Alastor was looking at you made your throat closeup.
Such affection and adoration in those deep eyes.
Your heart was pounding in your chest.
You ducked your head “Yourejust saying that” you mumbled.
Soft lips grazed your forehead. “I would never lie to you dear”
Maybe it was because it was a storm outside and you were cozy up by the fire
Maybe it was Alastor spending most of his time here.
Maybe it was his consideration for you, the flowers he got you , his cooking (that was AMAZING), the times he sang to you or danced to whatever the radio played.
Whatever it was, you didn’t realized that he had leaned towards you until you felt his lips brush yours.
Your brain was telling you that you should stop this.
This was your friend.
Your husband just died.
Your shouldn’t.
You closed your eyes and pressed your lips to his, angling your head to slot your lips together.
The kiss was slow, steady, soft…almost like he was testing the waters, unsure of how you would react.
You nipped at his lips and a surprised gasp left you as he pulled you into his lap, deepening the kiss.
That small noise must have possessed something in the man as the once gentle kiss turn to something carnal.
Your arms were loops around his neck and your finger s were buried in his hair as he attempted to devour you.
His lips left your lips to trail to your neck, littering it in bites and suckling.
A soft moan escaped your throat “A-Al”
He pulled back, eyes blown and low.
”Tell Me you don’t want this and ill stop”
He peppered soft kisses along the column of your neck
”Tell me you don’t want me as much as I want you and ill pretend this didn’t happened”
is that what you wanted?
Your heart was pounding.
You cupped his face and gave him a soft smile, before pressing a soft kiss to his nose
”We shouldn’t…”
His hands slipped under your shirt, fingers dancing on your skin
”yea”
You twirled his hair
”But don’t please don’t stop”
That was all he needed to hear….
—————————————————————————————
Your shadows danced across the walls, the fire casting a glow on your bodies as you rode his cock.
”F-fuck!”you whined as pleasure ripped through your body.
Alastor’s hands were gripping your ass as you bounced on top of him.
He swirled his tongue around a perk nipple, groaning as your gummy walls gripped him.
”you feel so good” he mumbled, teething the mound, causing you to moan.
You threw your head back, a rugged gasp leaving you.
Alastor loved the noises you made, pushing his hips up to meet yours as if to carve his cock into your cunt.
”such a pretty sight you are my dear, if only I could engrave you into my memory”
Your thighs were burning as you chased your release
”I’m-oh! Fuck fuck Al!”
He slipped a hand between you, thumb circling your swollen clit
”You gonna cum? Cmon baby cum on my cock, let me paint those pretty walls of yours white”
You whined and with a silent cry, you cummed, body shaking as you creamed around him.
Hot sparks ran through you as he toyed your clit, riding out your orgasm as you grind your hips against him.
With a sigh, you slumped against him panting as he planted his feet to pound into you until he came with a choked grunt, cock twitching as he filled you with his cum.
You pressed kisses along his clamming skin, humming as you came down from your high.
Thee two of you sat there, breathless, until Alastor intertwined one of your hands and brought it to his lips.
”Is it a bad time to propose?”
You laughed
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