#dont know if others actually interest in this but feel worth say even if it give just one person hope
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stories-by-starlight · 9 months ago
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Shout-out this stranger met for while recent, who saw we were AAC user and for whole time:
• made sure we not talked over in conversation
• stopped others from skip over us, and didn’t let them rush us either
• said any words AAC was say wrong verbally for us after we express frustration with that
• didn’t touch our device once or look at screen while using AAC (they were only person who didn’t)
• made sure we comfortable and accommodated whole time was with them
And don’t think any this was even big deal to them. This was first time they even saw AAC, but they still made sure were accommodated for it. Don’t think they realize how much meant to us, and it meant everything to us. To be include and supported so much by total stranger who we would never see again.
Gave us lot hope. Fact that there people like that out there. And wanted put all thoughts that couldn’t put into words when with person here.
Want other AAC users know that there people like that out there, and that there hope.
Edit: Notice this post a lot of people’s first time hear about AAC, want be clear that this person only start say words out loud for us after we made clear that that was something we okay with. Please don’t assume other AAC users want others correct words AAC pronounce different, because many don’t. Every AAC user different person with different preference, please don’t take ours as universal rule.
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triglycercule · 2 months ago
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mtt playing poker but why would they bet with money thats soooo boring boo boo boo no they bet with increasingly worse and concerning things and its fun for some reason
oh theyd LOVE that shit istg. luck and bluff and tells and lies??? god who knows your own lies and deceit better than another version of yourself??? and yet picking up the other two's tells is oh so very hard because theyre not the same anymore than when they were all sans and sometimes they dont even know themselves so how could they pick up on a mirrored version's? it works out a lot more than they think
killer would have no disregard for what he bets. he plays unpredictably and sneakily. probably faking some emotion here and there to get the hasty (horror) confused and concerned about what he could do and then it turns out killer had a fucking ass hand yet he won??? BULLSHIT horror cries out!!!! but dust just picks up the cards on the ground and deals them again and they play another round. sometimes killer purposely loses. why? he dont know its just to throw a wild card into dust and horror's predictions and mayhaps for the reactions
dust is a dirty player he is a fucking CHEATER‼️‼️‼️ phantom paps are his eyes that he uses to spy on killer and horror's hands. would he need to even try anymore at that point when he could easily win every round? well yes because that wouldn't be a fun game and dust wants to have as much fun as he can in this game of lies. he pretends he doesn't know what horror and killer's hands are. they both know. theyre both more than aware of dust's cheating. and that's why their betting starts going against him specifically and then dust has to figure out how to bet them higher while also trying not to fuck himself over
horror's main thing is just to not get fucked over. goddamnit why did he agree to this he's not as open to getting hurt than dust or killer are!!! (but you still agreed anyways?) so he thinks he's the only one to have a real reason to win (because horror no wanna get hurty hurty owww owww painpainpain ouch!!!) maybe he gets too cocky and ends up betting too high because dust or killer had been losing and he wanted to take a chance. maybe that high bet was actually what got him to win?? it's all a game of chance of course and horror'll only show what he thinks after the round's done. when the cards are dealt and the stakes are up he'll just analyze the hell out of the two (don't YOU hate being analyzed??) and tap his fingers on the table over and over
their way of betting would be like: the winner gets to do whatever the other two said as their bets to the betters. like if dust loses and horror wins and he said he could get sucker punched horror is sucker punching the FUCK out of him. but these three argue they fight and bicker and throw gibes and taunts!!! how would they ever agree on what bets are higher and which are lower ⁉️⁉️⁉️ to horror a bet of saying that he'd have to eat something could be like straight hell to him but killer and dust could just put the argument that it doesn't REALLY mean that much (they know it does to horror) and then force him to bet higher because cmon coward you can do better than that!!! dont you want to get some sort of revenge on us if you lose a previous round and win this one??? and other forms of logic like that 4 dust and killer
killer starts off with an absurdly high bet (because he would) like getting to mess with his soul or something. is he sure that dust and horror have losing hands? he doesn't know. and because killer has no form of limit for himself and that's already a high bar to set for dust and horror to reach (if they don't have good hands i think they'd probably want killer to bet lower. but would they tell him??) so damn it horror has to pull out some bullshit fucking bet like he'll allow himself to get hunted down by the two with every trap he's ever set on a human in horrortale (sooo much more psychological thinking and trickery going on without betting money and instead scenarios its SO FUN). and then could dust fold? does phantom paps say he should? it depends on the cards dust has (and what if he doesn't believe paps based on his own assumptions? (paranoid bitch)) and if he can't fold he has to match the bet or go higher and then he comes up with some bogus situation like ok i'll let you guys dress me up in my human's clothes and throw me in an au and have to do what they did (and OH GOD what about if they make a bet that the other 2 wouldn't actually want to do if they win??? if killer won that round with that as dust's bet would he want someone to reenact something similar to what his own human did and have to watch??????)
oops they just got another new set of scars from last week's poker night and another layer of trauma but why the hell are they sitting down at the table again??? idk man i'm just the dealer here trying not to get killed
#keep in mind i dont know a damn thing about poker ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#they match eachother's freak#guys gambling is bad just know that. the trio gamble with eachother 100% every interaction is a gamble#gambling is so them i will not lie. everything about them is so gambling coded. casino trio#its addicting and also something they hate. something that represents the worst trait of them that the indulge each time they interact#and yet the pull is there and its fun in the moment and there are moments where taking the gamble was worth it and they dont hate eachother#but the losses always overshadow the wins and just staying addicted isnt helping them at all. but addictions are hard#and theres still some more to win so for the time being why not bet all you have and give everything up to the other two?#UGHHH THIS IDEA IS SO FUN AND AMAZING I NEED THEM TO BECOME REAL SO I CAN WITNESS THIS#I DONT KNOW HOW TO DEAL CARDS OR HOW TO BE A DEALER BUT ID LEARN JUST FOR THIS SIGHT I WOULD I WILL IM GONNA no im not BUT STILL#can people actually turn into the mtt and try to reenact this because i actually would kill to see this sight live#worlds best poker game dare i say. the stakes are HIGH dare i say HIGH!!!!!#now dont forget about the other factors like previous rounds or sudden impulses or selfish goals or current moods#GOD EVERY NIGHT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN. i can understand the appeal of why they would keep playing even after all that#non violent bets. violent bets. bets of revenge bets to make motivations. the world is their oyster#this form of the trio's poker would be just a massive free for all of pushing boundaries and it all depends on luck#kist has russian roulette. horrorkiller has the knife game. mttpoly has trio poker. WHAT DOES HORRORDUST HAVE#you cant come up with terrible for themselves and eachother poker and put anybody but the trio in it#maybe nightmare's the dealer but tell me a single other utmv character that would play this???? NONE I SAY NONE!!!!!!#mtt are great bc their fanon nicer versions are so popular that i dont feel like shit when i either make them nice or evil#and eitherway canon or fanon their interactions are so much more interesting than anyone elses :333#the stars aligned three days ago and created three characters so perfect with eachother yet so terrible for eachother#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#sans au#utmv#bad sanses#tricule hc
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nihiltism · 1 year ago
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ok so while my ds is getting sand poured into it at alarming rates I'm thinking about how jrpgs in specific have a really weird desync with How Important Death Is. like some address it better than others but it very frequently happens where if you take a step back youll go "am I wild or is everybody just like, Really down with murder in this game". and consequences for said murder, especially in a characterization sense but even just actual physical consequences, don't really happen? unless it's a vehicle for conflict but like. when it is a vehicle for conflict it feels weird because why are These Guys actually taking the fact we killed somebody in broad daylight seriously and coming after us for it while all the other npcs and even the main party took it like it was another saturday evening
see I Think where the issue lies is in the fact that everything is in its own little world when you're in a battle? like. when you fight an enemy and you get leather out of it it's seen as something the enemy Drops and not. their hide. when you defeat a character in a battle it does just feel like you Defeated them. unless there's dialogue afterwards that says otherwise you don't even mentally assume you killed em you just wounded them enough to make them flee or dissolve or whatever. and it's Weird to just. have that assumption there because for a lot of games it really isn't clear if you're killing them or defeating them !!
that last point is extra important when you have the specific brand of Skittish Hero / Noble Hero Who Doesn't Kill People / Rational Hero In Way Over Their Head or whatever where you really don't think they Would kill a guy just to get them out of the way. in that case it's REALLY weird because it's hardly brought up. even if it Is brought up that that guy Sure Did Die the mc doesn't tend to actually have a reaction ??? and I don't know why this is ???? like Any written reaction would be more interesting than nothing even if the guy doesn't have a full on crisis about taking another life having them go "oh shit, The Consequences" would be nice. really anything except (oh cool we can advance the plot now).
I will also mention that Some deaths do matter plot wise but very frequently what makes them matter is how much of it is linked to an in game battle I think. if your mc just finishes a fight and comes back to the overworld and the guy's Disappeared or Dissolved or whatever it means they don't matter. if the guy's still around after the fight it means it's more significant, especially if they're still alive but wounded or Really Shaken Up. because this clears up the indistinguishable line between if a battle is lethal or not and if a character decides to deal a finishing blow now it's Way more telling of their character. even though this is basically the same thing that happened in the (killed In A Battle) scenario. just with more dialogue. I will also mention that the person who deals the finishing blow is Rarely Ever that good hearted protagonist and often they'll even go :0 at somebody else committing a murder despite them instigating and helping murder quite a few people. just. In Battle. so it's less bad. I guess.
this is leaving out the fact that in party deaths are often a Major Major Blow because like. ok that's fair. that's A Guy You Knew that's understandable. anyway I don't really know where I'm going with this I just think it's interesting how in these types of games death can swap from not mattering at all to mattering a Lot and if u don't think about it too hard u don't even question it. I'll probably be putting some examples in the tags idk
#i will note that in this specific instance most of my party Is actually super down with murder like vocally#so its less weird but it Is weird that the mc does. Not Seem The Type.#i mean not to say he should have tried to spare everybody i think its kinda neat that he doesnt but#if the fact that he doesnt was brought up at all thatd be interesting. have him acknowledge he killed a dude#but no hes just kind of standing there like (ok what next) no leaning one way or another#these would all be interesting reactions if they were actually Brought Up in dialogue but no its just. oversight#anyway this is about sand but ive also felt this about live a live and even bits of twewy#like specifically in lal the fact that the edo chapter Exists and killing people is just Battling Them made me look at Every Other Chapter#thru a lens of (okay am. am i killing these dudes.) and the answer is I DUNNO#like the guy exploded into a cloud of mist theres no way hes Not dead but its STRANGE#this felt most noticeable in the imperial china and present day chapters because they had mcs who decidedly did not feel down with murder#specifically present day because masaru is fighting this guy for the crime of killing a guys. and woa. he killed a guys. with his Hands#i think theres only a handful of deaths in lal that actually mean anything and you can tell which they are because they dont explode#like in You Know The Part with The Character I Cant Say that guys i think the only time defeating an enemy Leaves A Corpse#ok actually thats a lie the Other Guy I Cant Say in The Chapter Before That also died like that and that was equally important#s also worth mentioning that said first guy can ? also die without leaving a corpse? just turn to ash??#depending on where u go with him. which is weird right. thats weird right.#maybe that just means (hey youre not supposed to feel bad about him dying this tiiiime)#anyway its 5 am ill post this in the morning#veespeaks
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floorpancakes · 2 years ago
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i do actually tweet about other things but lately ive just posted all my holic thoughts here. not out of shame i just need the space. everyone over on tweeter knows im an embarrassing holicinator over there already LMAOO
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azulpitlane · 5 months ago
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be aggressive l ln4
lando norris x dcc!reader summary: the internet is curious as to why lando suddenly has an interest in american football, specifically with the dallas cowboys masterlist
f1gossip
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13,283 likes
f1gossip Lando Norris and Mclaren CEO, Zak Brown at the Dallas Cowboys game today in the AT&T stadium!!
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user his ass did not wanna be there😭
user lando?? american football?? huh???
user guys it was sponsored by hilton!! pretty sure thats why they attended
user makes sense cause bro looked miserable by the second half of the game
user a strange strange sight
user mf was bored the whole game except when the cheerleaders performed LMFAO
user the video of him locking in as soon as they stepped out in the field💀 ↪user WHERES THE VIDEO HAHAH? ↪user the video is all over twitter, cameraman did him dirty lmfao
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yourusername
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liked by landonorris and 12,379 others
yourusername victory sunday💙🤍💙
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user lesss goooo cowboys
user FAVE DCC
user in y/n we trust🧎‍♀️
user wait a minute- lando what are you doing here?!?
user no cause i noticed that too👀
user obsessed with you
user patiently waiting for the lando girlies to realize he followed her immediately after tonights game
user poor lando didnt get the follow back tho😭😭
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yourusername
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liked by landonorris and 19,382 others
yourusername first ever grand prix!!! such a delight to perform for these lovely faces✨
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user you guys made paying hundreds of dollars for a ticket worth it tbh
user icons
user another lando like, jolene im begging you pls dont take my man😔
user its the other way around for me😩 lando needs to back off my girl
user 🔥
landonorris amazing performance😍
user oh we're getting bold??? user down bad lando is my favorite lando fr user OMGGG FUTURE WAG Y/N??
user STOP is she the reason lando went to that cowboys game a few weeks ago
user going to her games and they're not even dating yet, gotta respect the game tbh😭
user sorry to break girls' hearts but there's videos of her and lando talking at the gp and he was blushing and giving her heart eyes the whole time
user literally came to her account cause of that video HAHAH
landonorris
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liked by danielricciardo, maxfewtrell and 930,482 others
landonorris 'murica
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user PASSENGER PRINCESS LANDO???
user ARE THOSE DCC BOOTS IN THE LAST SLIDE???
user it HAS to be the cheerleader he just followed cause they wear the exact same boots ↪user her name is Y/N!! put some respect in our dcc queen's name ↪user yes maam🫡, i apologize for my ignorance as a brit
user lando in a cowboy hat?? SHOW IT TO ME NOW RACHEL
maxfewtrell man you never let me drive when youre in the car
landonorris yeah cause i dont trust u maxfewtrell YOUVE KNOWN ME LONGER THAN Y/N??this comment has been deleted
user did max just confirm it is y/n THEE DCC in the last slide🧍‍♀️
user LMFAOO i know lando gave him an earful after that deleted comment user too late for him to delete, I HAVE IT PRINTED OUT! Y/N AND LANDO CONFIRMED
user streets are saying it's y/n in the last slide... we lost her guys😔
user AND WE LOST HER TO A BRITISH MAN💔💔
user now we wait for y/n to follow him and start soft launching too
danielricciardo glad i trusted the process
landonorris TOLD YOU user i hate when they comment inside jokes, got me feeling left out :(
user wait the way he let her drive even though hes said before he hates not being in control, meaning he already trusts her🥹
user i love her already omg
user lando dating an american cheerleader is actually the most lando thing ever
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell and 18,392 others
yourusername current side mission: turning a brit into a texan
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user bae just tag lando norris, we know it's him
user NOO I WAS HOPING IT WAS JUST RUMORS💔
user girl lando does not know who you are ↪user i was talking about y/n ↪user oh sorry, valid reaction tbh
user the matching pictures of her driving and him as the passenger princess on his post omg this is the most perfect soft launch i fear
user i waited for 3 and half years for her and white man did it in one week😩
user her soft launching as if max didnt already confirm it on landos post
yourusername shhh just pretend you didn't see that, cant have my soft launch ruined ↪user sorry maam, whatever you say maam
user lando is so posh but she has him driving dirt bikes and going to rodeos HAHAHHA
user the way he looked just watching a football game was hilarious, i cant even imagine a rodeo
user as a european f1 fan, can someone explain why she's so loved? (IM ASKING IN THE NICEST WAY POSSIBLE I SWEAR)
user LOL she's a cheerleader for the dallas cowboys football team which is a huge deal here! it's pretty hard to join the squad but shes a fifth year veteran (about to retire after this year) and she's known as one of the sweetest and kindest leaders on the squad!! she also met lando at a game!
user does she know she has twitter freaking out with this post?
user not that im complaining but this is the first time i see an f1 couple getting so much love HOW AND WHY??
user well y/n is quite literally america's sweetheart
yourusername
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yourusername one last christmas show🥹
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user what is dcc without y/n☹️
user gonna miss her so bad
user still looked amazing
user okay but is she still with that nascar driver or whatever cause wowwwww😍
landonorris yes, she is still with the FORMULA ONE DRIVER. ↪user OMG AN OFFICIAL CONFIRMATION???
pietra.pilao be with me please?
landonorris 🤨
landonorris woah woah you didnt say you were gonna post this one??? you look too good???
yourusername what happened to not commenting on each other's post until the hard launch🙂 (but ty ily) landonorris i take that back. (ily more) ↪user theyre losers but i love them your honor
footballplayer 🔥
landonorris yeah nice try🤣
user landos fighting for his life in these comments HAHA
user he fr ruined y/n's soft launch cause he cant handle these commenters hitting on her omfg
user kinda scared to comment, i dont want lando coming for me
user please dont be in love with someone else😩please dont have somebody waiting on you😩
landonorris she is in fact in love with someone else and does in fact have somebody waiting on her (ME) ↪user lando is a loser bf CONFIRMED
landonorris
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liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 973,492 others
landonorris winter break means football games with my beautiful girl
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user finally the hard launch
user she literally is turning him into a texan GRAHHHH🦅🇺🇸
user *pretends to be shocked*
yourusername ILYYYYYYY
landonorris ❤️
user sad about her retiring dcc but happy we'll be getting so much WAG content
user OMG i didnt even think of this ↪user already imagining the paddock fits😩
user ig i have to accept shes officially taken :(
landonorris yeah. ↪user chill bro aint nobody taking her from you
user bro saw all the thrist comments on her last post and decided to hard launch
maxfewtrell ranch in texas when??
yourusername OMG SOON PLEASE @/LANDONORRIS?? ↪landonorris um idk about that ↪yourusername 🤨 ↪landonorris I MEANT ILL THINK ABOUT IT!! IT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA😁🫶
user shes got him on a LEASH
danielricciardo ahh feels like yesterday that you bought tickets for the game AND the flight to have a 5 second interaction with the cute dcc
user damn lando was down bad wth😭 landonorris thank you for making this public information. ↪yourusername hey at least you beat the norizz allegations! eventually...
user as an american, im allowing you to count cota as your home race for bagging this queen
user oh lando norris i underestimated your game
User he gets the y'all pass now
landonorris THANK YALLLLLL
user the americanfication of lando is not something i knew i needed, but i did. thank you miss y/n
yourusername youre welcome, he will be listening to zach bryan and dolly parton in no time🫡
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notes: one thing about me is im gonna start getting lazy at the end of every smau i make. LOL. anyway i love american reader if you havent noticed already :)
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phagodyke · 2 years ago
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man. getting a little sick of being everyones 15th option for everything. when is it my turn to be someone's first choice :^[
#or even second tbh I'll take it#i had a couple old friends from college msg me recently to tell me what theyve been up to#which is sweet and i care abt them n wanna hear it! but they dont ask after me or show any interest in how I'm doing#and it makes me feel like I'm just their journal or smth. a brick wall they happen to be standing near#don't get me wrong I love to be useful. but when ppl only ever interact w u bc they need smth from u. well.#rly not doing anything good for this complex im developing where my self worth is directly tied to my usefulness to other ppl lmfao#i dont want to be ppls fucking dog!! or not any more than i already am but whatever thats all im good for i guess!!#and i desperately want someone to be my fave person rn bc all my energy is going nowhere + im at my best when im at my most devoted#so ppl treating me like this rn is just making me incredibly vulnerable to being taken advantage of.#like yeah i am eager to please and ill follow anyone around and do whatever for a crumb of attention but maybe#if you're actually my friend u shouldnt be encouraging that behaviour. even if it makes u feel good like cmon thats not so cool man#or if you ARE going to encourage it then maybe u should acknowledge the power dynamic ur creating + try not to abuse it. idk 🤷‍♂️#urgh idk maybe im just saying words rn im very tired#I just feel like all the friendships etc I have atm are slipping into that dangerously unbalanced zone + becoming v one way#and I don't know what I'm doing wrong I'm trying the best I can and I guess its just not enough for anyone and that really really sucks#I'm doing better mentally rn but I dont currently have a support system + there are a lot of destabilising forces in my life#so im just. worried abt the direction things could take if I lose this foothold I've dragged myself onto yknow.#and I wouldnt have to be so worried abt that all of the time if I just had someone literally anyone I could rely on or even trust#but oh well. it is what it is. doing all I can to take care of myself so hopefully it won't come to that anyway.#sorry for rambling on so much if u read this far I'm giving u a kiss on the cheek don't worry abt me honey I've got this#anywayy goodnight#.vent#.diaries
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darby-rowe · 11 months ago
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୨⎯ "inches of snow" ⎯୧
young!coriolanus snow ☓ fem!reader summary your boyfriend, coriolanus snow, joins you and your family for christmas dinner, but of course it's nothing short of an insufferable experience. but don't worry, because coryo is there to take care of you!
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18+ | nsfw | mdni word count 2,298 cw modern au, coryo & reader are in grad school, it's christmas!!, mentions of food, implied body shaming by family, uh oh grandma and grandpa are being bigoted again, bathroom sex, mirror sex, anal, praise, degradation, sex on the bathroom sink, it's a very anal christmas, coryo has a big dick, ooc(?) coryo, y/n usage, petnames, unprotected sex, spit play, cum play, dirty talk notes i know the title is corny as fuck LMFAO but it made me giggle. also imagine reader in ellen griswold's outift from national lampoon's christmas vacation like the one w the blouse and the green skirt bc mmmmm that fit is FIRE. this fic was slightly based off of this post bc i thought it was just too hot to ignore. this is also NOT proofread so any mistakes you find in this fic... dont talk about it
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Sitting down at the pleasantly decorated dining room table, your mother insisted on saying grace before you and the rest of your family could dig in on the splendid feast you and the rest of the women in your family worked so hard on. Your mouth watered at the thought of savoring the sweet potato casserole, the baked macaroni and cheese, the ham, everything at the table was extremely decadent. And it was all displayed out in front of you, and right under your nose.
You were a bit greedy, you had to admit, as your hands were the first to get a generous scoop of the fluffy mashed potatoes, earning a scoff from your ever-so lovely paternal grandmother. Say something, you old bat, you thought to yourself, but a pleasant hand came running to rescue you from your angry thoughts. A slight squeeze on your left thigh made you blush, and you turned your head to grin at your lovely boyfriend, Coriolanus Snow. He gave you a reassuring nod, and you went back to indulging in your Christmas feast.
“So, Y/N,” your grandmother piped up, pretentiously swishing her glass of wine. “Anything interesting as of late?”
You swallowed your forkful of mashed potatoes and peas. “My third year of med school is kicking my butt,” you said, trying to lighten the hostility between you and your grandmother. “I’m definitely finding myself to have less and less free time–”
“And how do you feel about that?” your grandmother interjected right in the middle of your response, causing your brows to furrow. Her attention was now fully on Coriolanus, which you turned your head to see what his response would be.
Coriolanus huffed amusingly. “I don’t necessarily have an opinion on it,” he said. “I am also quite busy with my master’s degree. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, or however that saying goes,”
“We’re just busy little bees,” you said in a light manner, albeit a bit awkwardly. “It’ll all be worth it in the end. All this hard work will pay off,”
Your grandfather motioned his glass towards Coriolanus. “Busy little bees, eh? Bet it’s harder on you than her,” This statement made you nearly choke on your champagne. The crudeness of that man! Oh, if you didn’t know any better, you would reach across the table and slap the wrinkles off that smug face–
“It’s actually not really that hard to endure,” Coriolanus spoke up. “We both know we’ll see each other again after our busy spells and that thought keeps us going,”
You smiled bitterly at your grandfather. “Exactly,”
The table got quiet after that, and you spent a good few minutes awkwardly sipping your champagne and eating your generous plate. You felt your appetite unfortunately begin to dissipate as the unpleasantness of the evening began sinking underneath your skin.
“You know, mother,” your father chimed in. “My wife and I both met during our residency, and you know firsthand exactly how busy I was during that time. The 100 hour work weeks, the skills labs, the exams, my boards. It was hard! But my beloved and I made it through, and I’m sure Y/N and Coryo will also make it,”
“I just don’t see the need in investing this much time in such a demanding career when your husband is already planning on pursuing a career that would help the both of you,” grandmother said to you, making your face contort into one of immense displeasure.
“Coryo is not my husband, first off,” you retorted. “At least not yet, but I’m also not going to be a stay-at-home mom who spends her days dealing with the dog, the baby, and the garden. I want a fulfilling career, too! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against stay-at-home mothers, but that life is not for me,”
“Why not?” grandmother knitted her eyebrows together. “Look at you, dear, with that revealing blouse and that pretty face, you don’t need to be pushing yourself like this,”
“Oh my god!” you cried, throwing your hands up. You finally decided you had enough, and with bitterness deep within your soul, you abruptly pushed your chair away from the table and stormed off.
“Watch your mouth, young lady!” your grandmother called out after you. “You weren’t excused!”
“I’m twenty-five years old, grandma, I can excuse myself,” you replied angrily as you traversed upstairs, your heels clicking on the hardwood material.
Slamming the door to the bathroom, you made your way to the bathtub where you sat down on the cold tiles with your knees folded up against your chest. You buried your face in your hands as you breathed in and out. In… and out…
God, you really hated your father’s parents. So judgy and crude, you were only left to wonder why they kept getting invited over to these dinners. Your parents knew how they chastised you, and even with their efforts to put a stop to their bigoted comments, they just kept going and going and going.
You were proud of yourself. You were proud of the life you were building for yourself. Sure, you still had eight years of school left, but at the end of the road you were going to be a kick-ass trauma surgeon. And Coryo was on the fast track to earning his master’s in political science. Soon, he would be running for congress, and the two of you would be unstoppable.
But here you were, practicing breathing exercises on the cold tiles of your parents’ bathroom. You needed to move out of there. Anywhere but there.
Your thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door and the sweet sound of a familiar voice on the other side. Coriolanus, looking as handsome as ever as he gently let himself into the bathroom, joining you on the floor.
“Hey, bunny,” he cooed, taking your hands in his. “Are you okay?”
You grinned dreamily. “Now that you’re here,” this remark elicited a chuckle from Coriolanus, which made you swoon. “Listen, I have to apologize for my family,”
Coriolanus shook his head. “There’s no need to apologize,” he reassured. “You do not have to say anything. You’re not responsible for their actions, not now, not anytime,” he took your hand and kissed the back of it. “Now, how may I make my sweet girl feel better?”
It didn’t take long before the two of you were on each other like two cannibals competing to see who ripped off the other’s flesh first. Your lips crashed and molded into each other as your warm, wet tongues shoved down each other’s throats in desperate attempts to taste the other’s mouths. Coriolanus tasted like the champagne you planned on indulging yourself with later that night, feeling your mind buzz on the remnants of the alcohol. It ignited your nerves on fire.
It took your breath away when Coriolanus spun you around and pressed you against the bathroom sink, forced to look at the reflection. “Look at you, baby,” he panted, his lips red and swollen from the intense kiss he shared with you just seconds ago. “So fuckin’ pretty and fuckable. I’ll take care of you, don’t worry,”
You looked at your reflection in the mirror, your eyes scanning the pathetic, needy look on your face. You gasped slightly as Coriolanus grabbed your jaw, preventing you from looking away. “I want you to look while I fuck you,” he said, pressing his hardened bulge into your backside which made your eyes slightly roll back into your head. “I know that pussy of yours is throbbing for me, hm? Is it, bunny?”
You opened your eyes and looked at the blush that was beginning to appear on your cheeks. “Mmm’yes,” you whined. “Want you so bad, please. But we have to be quiet. Can’t let my family hear us,”
Before you could say anything else, Coriolanus’s hand slapped onto your mouth making your gasps and breaths all muffled. “There’s a solution for you, my dove,” he murmured into your ear. “Now, here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to remove my hand and pull up that pretty little skirt of yours. Then, I’m going take off your panties, then fuck you in the ass. Am I clear?”
You and Coriolanus have indulged in anal before. It wasn’t a common occurrence, but it surely wasn’t unwelcome. Your pussy throbbed with anticipation at the thought of Coryo’s throbbing, hard cock in your tight asshole. You nodded, and he removed his hand from your mouth and cupped it in front of your lips. “Spit in my hand,” he ordered, and you drooled a generous amount of saliva into the palm of his hand.
You could hear his wet hand stroke himself in prep to enter you. With your skirt hiked up and your panties gone, you made sure to relax and breathe as you felt Coriolanus push the tip of his cock into your ass. Your efforts to stay quiet flew out the window as a primal, low groan escaped your throat as your ass became full of his dick.
“Fuuuck…” you groaned, hiking your leg up on the bathroom sink to allow Coriolanus to go deeper. God, it felt so fucking good having his dick deep in your ass. So dirty, and so fucking hot.
In a matter of moments, Coriolanus was thrusting his hips hard and deep inside you, making your mouth fall open in a silent cry of pleasure. You resorted to quiet curses and panting to help you express how good you were feeling in that moment. Goosebumps erupted on your skin. There was a slight sting to being penetrated in the ass, but it wasn’t painful to you. In fact, it only added to the overwhelming pleasure building in your nether regions.
“Such a tight fuckin’ ass,” Coriolanus murmured, grabbing your jaw once again. “Look at you, bunny, so fuckin’ needy for this cock in your ass, yeah?”
You had to be quiet. You needed too. But by god, the sound of Coriolanus speaking pure filth in your ears was insatiable. “Yes,” you growled through gritted teeth, your eyes flicking between your face and Coriolanus’s. “Fuckin’ love your cock in my ass, fuck,”
“Such a naughty girl,” he teased, taking a look down to watch his dick pump in and out of your hole. The sound of your panting and groaning mixed with Coriolanus’s grunts, slightly echoing throughout the bathroom.
You whined as you felt him withdraw from your hole, only for him to spin you around once again and help you on top of the bathroom counter. You willingly spread your legs and watched as Coriolanus re-entered your ass before withdrawing completely once more, and then he repeated these actions again, and again, and again.
“Stop teasing,” you whined, reaching a hand down to play with your pussy only for Coriolanus to swat your hand away, much to your dismay.
Coriolanus pinned both of your hands behind your back. “No touching. You’re going to come from my cock in your ass or you won’t come at all,”
You nodded obediently, your body rocking back and forth in time with his thrusts. You could feel your pussy drooling its juices from how unbelievably aroused you were. It was almost uncomfortable how badly your clit ached to be touched, but you wanted to obey your boyfriend’s orders, so you held back.
“My naughty bunny,” Coriolanus moaned. “Your ass is so tight around my cock. Feels so good. You’re making me feel so – fuck – so fucking good,”
Your mouth fell open as your panting grew more frequent. “Yes, fuck my ass,” you whispered. “Make me come from my ass, baby, please,”
“Are you close, love?”
“Yes, yes – fuck,” you threw your head back as moans threatened to escape your throat, your pleasure only heightened as Coriolanus pressed open-mouthed kisses all along your neck. You were about to come undone from just having his cock in your ass, and it was going to feel so, so good.
“Coming,” you mewled, your legs beginning to shake and the familiar feeling of an itching pulsation deep within your pussy. “Oh god, I’m coming from my ass. Fuck… fuck…!”
In an explosion of pleasure that made you see stars, your orgasm hit you like a truck as your juices gushed out of your pussy. You squeezed your eyes shut and gritted your teeth as it took every fiber of your being to not scream out in pure ecstasy. You continued to squirt all over yourself and Coriolanus’s cock. There was no doubt in your mind that your skirt was ruined.
Coriolanus withdrew from your hole to pump on his own cock until thick, white ropes hit your hole. The sound of his moans and groans pleasantly filled your ears. Your legs were still shaking, and you felt your breath nearly get knocked out of your lungs as you felt his shaft re-enter your ass, fucking his cum into you.
It took a good five minutes before the haze of your orgasm left your brain and you were able to think clearly again. You still sat on the kitchen counter as Coriolanus softly kissed your lips, praising you and telling you how good of a job you did.
“I love you,” you mumbled against his lips, holding his face with your hands.
You felt Coriolanus’s lips tug into a smile. “I know you do, my dove,”
It impressed you how well you cleaned yourself up as you prepared to join your family once again, but as you opened the door of the bathroom, your blood ran cold as you found your older sister waiting outside with a disappointed look on her face.
“Really?” she asked. “During dinner?”
God damnit.
don't be shy, let's talk. ♡
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drdemonprince · 8 months ago
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What if your unmasked self is unacceptable even to other autistics? I feel like if I don't carefully curate myself I'm too weird and annoying to sustain friendships even with other weirdos. This thing where unmasking makes people like you more because it's more ~authentic~ just hasn't been true for me and it makes me really sad.
Well, what does "weird" and "annoying" mean in this case? In unmaskers I frequently see a lot of understandable social trauma playing out in, let's just say, not the most socially effective of ways at times. No longer mindreading and people pleasing and fawning is all to the good; becoming completely unfiltered while still harboring a ton of deep-seated fear of abandonment and then spilling it out all over people will understandably drive them away. No longer faking emotions and tone of voice preserves energy and helps us feel more genuine, but never putting any energy into trying to understand a friend's interests or emotions will kill a friendship.
There is a messy counterbalancing that has to occur for many unmaskers; at first we focus on never doing anything false and allowing our unbridled selves to roam free -- and then we often recognize that we will need certain self-advocacy, listening, communication, and even diplomacy skills to actually relate to other people, even while remaining true to who we are.
It's normal for the unmasking process to initially seem like it's making you harder to love, more annoying, more bizzaree -- that's a necessary corrective to having previously aimed to make yourself unremarkable or widely liked.
But if you find yourself repeatedly socially alienating even out and proud neurodivergent people, it may be worth asking whether you are taking actions that are pushing them away. Things like interrupting people when they are trying to open up to you, invalidating their feelings, seeking reassurances that no other person can provide, not interacting, self-victimizing, just generally hurtful interpersonal stuff that us traumatized folks sometimes do even in community with one another. If this is the case, you will have to work on accepting the feedback when people are kind enough to tell you that you're bothering them or disrespecting them -- it is not the end of the world, it is a habit you can notice and correct.
Or you might just still be withdrawing and inhibiting very hard, and doing self-protective things that convey to others that they should give you a wide berth. Lots of unmaskers give off really strong "dont talk to me dont come up to me i feel socially unsafe right now" vibes that are completely honest and authentic to where they are at the moment, even if they wish they could seem more welcoming. Please give yourself some grace to feel all that if that's what it is.
No one is too weird or too annoying to make friends. But you might need to find the people who are weird enough and mad enough and disabled enough for you. Alternatively, you might have some interpersonal baggage that affects how you treat others you still need to work on. Or your internalized disability stigma might just be telling you that youre being too much when youre barely taking up social space at all.
You know your pattern of experiences and the feedback others have given you, so hopefully you can sort out what is currently missing in your social life based on that and some reflection and more testing. Good luck and let me know what you figure out.
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jasminewalkerauthor · 1 month ago
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So you've wrote a book, what's next?
So I recently started uni and naturally immediately joined my universities writing and book societies, last week I was sat editing my book when a couple of people approached me. Apparently through some light instagram stalking they had found out I published books and was wondering how on earth do you even do it.
Upon being on tumblr this week it turns out that this is a question that a lot of people are interested in, this being probably my most requested post ever?
ANYWAY. You've wrote a book, either you're two drafts in or fifty drafts in it doesn't entirely matter. I am going to give you the bad news that the work has only just begun.
The first choice you really need to make is whether or not you want to pursue traditional publishing or self/indie publishing. I believe the common misconception of the difference between the two is that one is 'Easier' than the other. Both are hard, just in different ways.
Traditional publishing is hard to break into, you need to convince enough of people that your book is worth selling which can be incredibly difficult and results in a lot of heartbreaking emails. However once you have that publishing deal you have those people in your corner to help with editing, cover design, and distribution among other things.
Self publishing, much like the name suggests, means that you have to do everything yourself, edit (or source an editor), design (or source a designer), marketing, the works. However the plus side of self publishing which I like is that you have a lot more creative control and freedom.
Now to be fully transparent, I am an indie author, naturally I am going to know a lot more about a process I have actually gone through rather than one I havent. However I do believe I can provide at least a rough guideline of the process so that people can get an idea of what going into it.
So starting with traditional publishing, assuming that you have a full draft that you've at least done some self editing on, your first step is finding an agent. You'll need a couple of things for this. First is make a document of the first 30 pages of your manuscript (a 'sample' if you will), and a query letter which is almost like a cover letter for your book, this is what potential agents will look at to judge whether they want to represent your manuscript.
I dont think I need to say it but your query letter is VITAL, please take time with it, some agents may not even look at your sample if your query letter is bad.
Now, searching for agents is relatively easy, there are a lot of databases online that will give you a list of agents and whether or not they are accepting submissions. Most agents will also have a kind of 'wishlist' of manuscripts they're looking to represent (e.g. sci-fi, philosophy, high fantasy), look for agents with a wishlist that includes your kind of book.
Once you have an agent they will be able to go to different publishing houses with your manuscript, hopefully leading to a book deal at some point. From there the publishers will help with editing, design, and distribution.
With self publishing the process is a bit more complicated. First is the editing process. Either you can edit your own manuscript if you feel up to it or you can source an editor. There are three different editors you can hire: Developmental editor, Line editor, and Proof reader. Almost every editor charges per word of your manuscript.
I would also recommend looking for Beta readers, these are readers who will read through an early copy of your manuscript for feedback (These are NOT editors, more reviewers). There are also ARC readers who you send an early copy to about 2-3 months before release to build interest in your book.
When it comes to the actual publishing itself, there are two main publishing platforms: kdp and ingram spark. Both of these are three besides the fact that you will need to buy an ISPN for your book to use ingram spark.
I think i'll leave it there because this is LONG, but i may turn this into a series, what do y'all want to know about?
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mimiyewaffles · 7 months ago
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A FEW INTERESTING THINGS
I guess I need help
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So if y'all dont know, I'm trying to revise my boyfriend's d3ath.
It's been two months since I have been affirming and a few days since I got into the concept of void. Now, I'm trying to get into the void.
I've noticed a few crazy things, that I would love to share.
I've always affirmed that “everyone will forget about my boyfriend's demise because it was just my nightmare and no such thing ever happened. He's all alive and healthy” So I guess my affirmations are kinda playing out.
1.
When I got to know about his demise, I sent him like 100 texts that day, I was so emotional and poured down everything to him. He not only is my boyfriend, but also is my best friend. The bestest friend ever and it was the worst day of my life. I was never ready to lose him.
I sent those 100 texts to him on Snapchat and obviously, my texts were just delivered. Nobody read them because that "nobody" Was long gone. I'm talking about feb, 2024. So I checked his snapchat after a few days of emotional ranting, and those texts didn't show up. I thought it might be a glitch and now after like 3 months, I went back to check on him because I missed him and guess what? ALL OF THOSE TEXTS ARE GONE!
Now idk if I'm tweaking but wtf? Snapchat has this feature where messages get deleted after 24 hours of being seen. But nobody saw my messages to begin with, where are those texts????
Like... All the snaps, that were sent before those texts and even after those texts are still in delivered, not seen.
Can anyone tell me if this is a glitch? This couldn't be, right? It's been 3 months to that incident, if it were glitch, it would have been fixed by now but idk-
2.
My bf would post about his travelling and stuffs in Instagram reels and I often visit his account to look at him all alive once again and one day, I noticed one of his reels cover has changed 💀 and I even showed it to my sister and friend and they were shocked too. I thought it might be a glitch too. But it stayed like that for 3 days and then switched back to what it was before.
This might be a glitch idk honestly but my friend said it might be a "timeline/dimensions overlapping"
3.
Two of my close friends are really logical minded and I never told them about my manifestation/shifting to a reality where my bf never got into an accident, because they wouldn't believe me. They don't even believe in multiple realities... So, not worth it.
A week ago, I texted one of these friends, saying that I feel like my bf is alive (emotional ranting) and all she told me was to hold up and move on, I'm thinking way too much 😮‍💨
And that's that. We didn't talk much about it.
After a few days of that, she texted me herself telling me that she feels the same. She feels as if my bf is alive too and maybe faking a death. We didn't get into the conclusion but yeah, we are still in doubt.
Also I would daydream about meeting my bf once again and i would make infinite possibilities to proof my reasoning mind that he's alive. So one of my imagination was my friend texting my bf's brother (they have nothing in common, they don't even know each other yet I imagined them talking) and his brother would say that my boyfriend is actually alive. And that scene exactly happened, except for the alive part. my friend talked to his brother to get his "last" Pics and guess what? They don't have that. Which is super weird because that accident just happened this year and those photos are gone. I texted one of his other brother who always replies to my texts and always give me updates about how their family is grieving but when I asked about pics, he left me on seen— again very weird.
Moreover, all of them (his family members) have moved on completely. They are enjoying and travelling. Idk how but like in a month of my bf's demise, they started partying a stuff which is super weird to me.
.....
I guess my affirmations are kinda becoming true. My 3D is maybe conforming slowly (?) Idk 😭
Lemme know what y'all think. Any tips on revising such thing would be appreciated. Thanks for reading 🎐
I'm sorry if I don't make any sense, I'm probably being delusional. Sorry for the rant 🥲🤌
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myobsessionsspace · 3 months ago
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Hi! I hope you dont mind this. I recently was informing myself more about bts and their past experiences, and i’m very probably wrong but i noticed how a lot of members (all of them, actually) have talked about and showed more or less some struggles, such as jimin, or v when he looked really numb and lost during official events, or yoongi, except for jungkook (and maybe jin?).
Except for that time when yoongi told us he sent jungkook a message saying he loved him (which makes me believe jungkook was going through a hard time), or others “small” episodes, jungkook himself never expressed a specific period of time where he was struggling for whatever reason, and it shocked me to hear him saying in ays that he doesn’t feel like writing his own songs because he doesn’t have much to say. To me it looks like he maybe downplays/avoids talking about his own hard feelings and times, despite probably being one of the members who struggles and struggled the most (his unreleased song being a good example, in my opinion), but i still came here to get another point of view because i feel wrong for being so introspective and making psychoanalyses about him. Maybe my curiosity is having the best of me and that’s all this is about🙏. But really, the way he can go through the most gut wrenching moments and still smile on stage or lives makes this whole thing really interesting to me and it’s more of an appreciation and empathetic thing than anything else.
We saw him saying he doesn’t think he really has a worth, saying he’s not good at everything and has a lot of flaws, we saw him sad during last year’s lives on weverse, but i can’t find anything where he really shared something regarding his own sad and depressed feelings, despite him being such a sensitive individual and being… human, which means he definitely has had hard times.
Do you think there was a specific year/time when jungkook looked sad or different from the cheerful and happy jk we know, and what’s your opinion on him not really sharing it? I hope again my question doesn’t sound inappropriate or rude in any way, i don’t want this to come off as invasive or wanting in any way to force jungkook to express his personal struggles. And really, excuse me if i just missed content and i’m asking things i could easily find myself. I appreciate you so much.
Hi Lovely!
Thank you so much for this ask! It’s sooo juicy 😍
I’ve been mulling over it for a while because it’s something that I could talk about without ever stopping. It’s an ask that could allow me to get into the evolution of Jungkook from trainee days to now, you know.
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It’s an ask that I could talk about and ‘compare’ (I hate that though, comparing people 🙈) the members and their different approaches to music when it comes to their group and solo work and how theirs to has evolved.
I’m not gonna lie I felt a bit defensive for Jungkook during his solo era. Something the fandom loves to do is ‘ours are better than yours’ with others, even within their own members, they like to be like ‘our group has the most song writing credits’ which leads to comparison with other groups, which leads to comparisons within the group and members solos etc.
When Jungkook’s turn came around I feel like there was a lot of expectation. I can only imagine what Jungkook himself felt.
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Jungkook & Songwriting
‘and it shocked me to hear him saying in ays that he doesn’t feel like writing his own songs because he doesn’t have much to say.’
To this point I think it shows what I’m saying, the expectation and comparison. I think because BTS have always been lauded as involved in their music, because it was something that wasn’t really the standard to kpop for their generation and those before, there’s always kind of been an expectation of them? But I don’t know if it’s because JK is one of my biases, but I feel like he was more ‘vilified’ for an album comprised of songs written by others and solely in English
The thing is though BTS do and have had much more creative control than a lot of kpop groups of their generation and the generations before, it’s not as straightforward as that. I don’t want to diminish anyone’s contribution or years of work, but it would be worth noting how one can get a songwriting credit. The rap line write their own bars, so for any song rap line have a rap verse, that’s an automatic songwriting credit.
Within a song making process there can be so many hands involved and points where tweaks are made, sometimes people can all get together and think tank the creation of the song lyrics, leading to the core group of writers, then through the recording process when tweaks are made more songwriting credits get added etc.
Or someone could write a song and due to the song being their baby not allow for many changes made apart from maybe by one producer, leading to only one or two song writing credits vs 7 song writing credits on one song.
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Jungkook’s solo & group contributions
Each song would have a story behind it as to the level of contribution from JK (and other members) but it wouldn’t change the fact that he’d be entitled to a songwriting credit. For example ‘Dreamers’ was a song already done and sent to him for recording, but through tweaks made in the recording process Jungkook earned a songwriting credit.
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Songs for ARMY
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Whereas we know songs like ‘Still With You’ ‘My You’ were Jungkook’s babies and songs with only credits for Jungkook and the producer.
Isn’t it interesting the songs that Jungkook has the most involvement, if not primary involvement, are the songs about ARMY?
Jungkook has said that he like Jin, don’t hold on to negative emotions. They deal and move on.
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However it seems like there’s one emotion that’s always remained constant and true to Jungkook, his love for army. I mean this man was so confident in this that he tattooed ARMY. He grew up with army, they supported his career and cheered him on, he’s said it’s because of being in the group and the group being successful that he’s been able to experience things such as the travels and activities in shows for army and the delights 🥴 of twinkies.
Not only is it easy for Jungkook to speak to army via lives etc it’s easy for him to speak to army via songs. It’s not a feeling he wants to process and move on from.
A Dramatic Shift?
‘and it shocked me to hear him saying in ays that he doesn’t feel like writing his own songs because he doesn’t have much to say.’
Is that all he said?
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Where Jungkook talks about wanting to focus on displaying his vocals and focusing on different songs to display them rather than focusing on songwriting
I think I again maybe it’s a combination of comparison and expectations?
He has spoken before of his wish to try singing different stories not his own
If you don’t do anything at all, please have a look at this post and watch the live & video in it, if you want some understanding about Jungkook from Jungkook himself.
Thoughts for Another Time
‘Except for that time when yoongi told us he sent jungkook a message saying he loved him (which makes me believe jungkook was going through a hard time)’
I actually have a whole separate theory about this moment right here. I’ve talked about it with others in the past. It’s something that would need a whole separate post to get into.
Do We Delve Too Deep?
‘i feel wrong for being so introspective and making psychoanalyses about him’
I think it’s the human condition to want to understand. I think it’s not an issue when you want to understand someone, someone that interests you, someone that brings you joy with their person and their talents. I think where you, myself and others have to be careful, is when we go from wanting to just understand someone to judging someone. Being disappointed in them for not living up to our expectations. When we thought we sussed them out and they don’t follow the path we thought made sense based on their past actions and our understanding of them.
With Jungkook, because we are not privy to the inner workings of of his mind, his emotions, his motivations, his day to day, it’s not fair to him as a human to be disappointed when he doesn’t do what we expect based on what he’s done in the past, based on what his members have done, based on what his fans expected.
It’s ok, I think, to sit and think on topics like this but I don’t think it’s ok to then project feelings onto someone because of it. They are our feelings and we need to understand why and then figure out what good they do to hold onto them? What it means going forward if those feeling hold value to us, do we still support, follow, invest or do we adjust our thinking or involvement? That’s what we have control over.
The kind of person Jungkook is
I’d like to preface this by saying I am one person on the internet. Same as anyone else, with no more or less access to him than the majority of us. The same media I consume is what is available to us all. His lives, his interviews, his songs, festas, memories, bombs, episodes, shows, documentaries etc.
All my inferences are from these, not Jungkoook himself, not a company insider, not a friend of a friend of the members, a sister of one of the members siblings friends 🤡 my opinion and opinion only 😅.
He is who he is. He says what he says. Even the members at times feel like they want to dig soul bearing emotions out of him
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They’ve been saying for years
When is Too Much, Too Much?
‘Do you think there was a specific year/time when jungkook looked sad or different from the cheerful and happy jk we know’
I don’t think looking to the past and nitpicking, microanalysing etc to point out where he looked the most miserable etc would do good to anyone. Being there in the moment, if we were, we would be trying to show him our love and support, empathising, seeing it to make ourselves not feel as alone, to see him as human etc.
For me to do that now for no reason as to just point out that…he’s…human? Well I think we should already know that. I do think Jungkook really was vulnerable and as open as he could be as an idol with millions of viewers during his lives of 2023.
That, I think, was one of the biggest windows into Jungkook the person, more as who his is now, the adult and not who he was when he was 19, 22, 24 etc. There were so many nuggets that could easily have been missed amongst the fun of the karaokes and cooking and eating etc.
I would advise you or anyone to, whenever you have free time, just pop in one of his lives, start from Feb and work your way through whenever you have a free moment (I know you said you have been 💜).
‘We saw him saying he doesn’t think he really has a worth, saying he’s not good at everything and has a lot of flaws, we saw him sad during last year’s lives on weverse, but i can’t find anything where he really shared something regarding his own sad and depressed feelings, despite him being such a sensitive individual and being… human, which means he definitely has had hard times.’
The thing is with this, in my opinion...when have any of the members been completely and utterly specific? We get little sentences or conversations here and there where we can refer to, but if it’s one thing I’ve come to realise about BTS is that they are good at letting us in without really letting us in. The hardships they have shared tbh can be generalised to each of them, struggling with idol body image, tough schedules, dance routines, being in their heads. Yes some members have spoken about their mental health struggles more than others (Namjoon & Yoongi), they’re not learning dance routines as quick as others or being confident with their dance (Namjoon & Jin).
But they’ve also all talked sometimes as a group of struggles, general to the group as a whole. I think if Jungkook didn’t share their sentiments, he would have said he didn’t?
Did we really know that they were on the verge of splitting until they said so on stage and then afterwards. We know of the few fights they tell us about and then those are the only ones they refer to for years after, and we can count them in one hand, vmin dumpling fight, namgi throwing laundry fight, hopekook and banana fight…?
When watching something like their last Festa Dinner, where the others talked, shared, poured out, like it’s been said in the past, when his hyung hurt is when he hurts. Maybe it is that he didn’t/doesn’t struggle with the same things that the other members struggled/struggle with. Being a trainee and an idol is all he’s ever known being with his hyungs, his friends, family, working, travelling, enjoying good food and good drink is Jungkook. Namjoon (David Quinones and producer Tony Esterly) writing a song like ‘Begin’ to capture Jungkook’s essence?
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Source: Doolset Bangtan
We know that Jungkook started trainee life in 2010? Born in 1997, ignoring Korean age system he’d have been around 13? I think we can guess the general kind of hardships pre 13.
Then once trainee life started we’ve heard him talk about having to learn to share, having to learn to dance and sing plus schooling where he probably had people either teasing him for thinking his was ‘a hotshot’ or wanting to be his friend because he was a trainee then a famous idol or constantly filming him, picturing him and gossiping about him? Away from home, constantly aching and exhausted, not knowing if he’d make it.
He has done vlogs where he talks about seeing his parents after a long time and how happy he was, he’s shown how happy he was to celebrate his graduation with his hyung and more interested in hanging out with them, than celebrating with his fellow schoolers. He’s talked with Jimin in a live about how after dance training he found a new passion and considered giving up being in the group.
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Blog of his time in The US getting extra dance training & Part 2
It seems like with Jungkook he is someone to focus on the good, instead of the misssing his family, he talks to fans about the happiness in reuniting, instead of the difficulties of schooling he talks about the gratitude in having his idol career be successful enough to not be concerned with not being the best at school etc.
So I’d say over the years he has with little sentences here and there talked about his hardships but they probably don’t stand out as much because he, maybe through conscious effort, tells it to fans when there’s a positive to take from it. Like you also noted: ‘still smile on stage or lives makes this whole thing really interesting to me and it’s more of an appreciation and empathetic thing than anything else.’
He Is Who He Is
I wrote this at a point when I wanted people to understand a bit more about Jungkook, yes it’s in relation to his bond with Jimin but mainly focuses on Jungkook’s personality
His MBTI
Introvert, introvert, introvert!
He’s taken his MTBI several times through the years and one thing that has always remained consistent was his introvertion. talking about others, talking about ARMY maybe comes more easily to him than talking, writing and singing about himself?
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He himself takes stock in his MBTI and seems to feel it does reflect him.
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Music Is His Love & Passion
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when all the members got to design their rooms, this was Jungkook’s design. Music is his love & passion through and through
When you want to make Jungkook happy, give him a karaoke mic and leave him be.
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Suchwita - Jungkook Karaoke Special
I don’t think we have to worry for a long long time about not getting new music from Jungkook, songs written by others, songs written by him, songs about others’ experiences and songs about his own, we gotta just
‘Let Him Kook’ TD;LR
Jungkook is as complex a human as any other member but more often than not, a typical introvert, one to live in the now and man of few words.
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Vulnerable, raw Jungkook. Listening to the song made by ARMY for BTS after their pause in group activities. Jungkook feeling with ARMY on world tour. Jungkook with ARMY on white day.
Ask him to write a song about ARMY and he can give you 10 but ask him to release a body of work that reflects him through and through, the perfectionist that he is, the introvert that he is, the experiences he’s had that he’s moved on from…as he said, there’s plenty of time for more from him in the future.
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After his billboard number one’s for ‘Seven’ his debut solo single
He seems to not be someone to dwell on the sad and the hard but to deal with it and move on. He seems like someone who wants to share the good with people, not have people sad for him, in his songs he seems to want to reflect this hence his songwriting being more in that vein.
He like struggles like everyone else, has hardships like the others, has lows etc but his personality seems to not see the point in sharing to the extent some may want or get from the other members.
The reason we love each of them is BECAUSE they’re not the same, right? Right!
There is soo much more I could say (as one of my biases I could talk about him all day!) but tbh I needed to post this as is, because I was starting to obsess over this ask and letting it snowball🙈
Maybe we can come back to some points and tackle each separately one day. Thank you again lovely!
💜
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yizhou-time · 5 months ago
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A RANT ON MINORS AND NSFW POSTS
This is a quick one but I feel like it needs to be said because it’s getting out of hand for not just writers but also minors. As much as we don’t want minors reading NSFW content it’s basically impossible for a number of reasons:
1) The ATEEZ writing community is full of it. Whether people write it because it performs well or they enjoy it, it’s everywhere. It’s becoming rare to see SFW posts in the main two tags (ateez x reader, ateez imagines) and when people are trying to look for something to read and that’s all there is they’re going to read it. It’s basically become downright porn plastered everywhere, what else are they going to read?
2) It’s not being tagged as NSFW or MINORS DONT INTERACT. For whatever reason people aren’t tagging it and it’s just really weird. Even as an adult I don’t want to read NSFW stuff and yet when it’s untagged I come across it (the whole reason I decided to write this is because I was reading a fic this morning that jumps into smut without warning). You can say people choose what they read and if they ignore the tags it's on them but when it's not being tagged as such it's not like people have a choice. I’m an adult and I know when to stop, some minors will just keep reading.
3) a) People are tagging it wrong. Calling smut suggestive when they’re having actual sex is crazy. Some people have been tagging it as a SMAU which means social media au, kids will read that thinking they’re going to see some fake twitter or fake messages and they’re met with smut instead.
3) b) People are using other tags (ateez angst, ateez fluff) for smut. Regardless of if there’s plot keep smut out of those tags so they can be used correctly.
4) Some authors don’t block faceless/blank/ageless blogs (even when they say they have a rule for it). On any site (including YouTube when it comes to age restricted content) age can be verified with a press of a button before the viewer can start watching or you can simply change the year you were born in, but it then argues that they can read what they want here regardless of how it makes an author feel because they can do it online. They can talk to an author in DM and through their Inbox, they can’t talk to a pornstar so they’ll never know or have that lurking feeling. Block people that you aren’t sure of, even if they’re a big account or your post is doing well, it’s not worth it when there’s kids reading it.
5) Some authors don’t display their own age. This is a short one but I know so many NSFW authors who aren’t displaying their age and yet other writers still interact with them, going against their own ageless/faceless blog rule, for what I don’t know. That could be a 14 year old or a 40 year old and we don’t even know who’s in their Inbox.
6) There’s no one controlling what content the minor is reading. Although we can’t do anything about that that doesn’t mean we can’t do what we can, they may read it anyway, but if you look at the contributing factors there is something we as a community can do.
I'm well aware this post is giving them the benefit of the doubt but can you blame a kid for acting like one? As much as we get mad at them for reading NSFW posts for whatever reasons at the end of the day we have to be doing something about it too. Both parties should take responsibility and try to combat it.
This is in no way a targeted post so if you choose to ignore it and feel that you’re not part of the problem or you’re just not interested, that’s fine I won't be offended but I strongly urge to think about if you relate to even just one of the point and then do something about it.
I'm well aware that this is a sensitive topic that doesn't get spoken about because it just isn't or when it is spoken about it gets shut down by people who accidently read it the wrong way. This post isn't to hurt or upset people or accuse anyone of anything bad, just pointing out some things we could all collectively do better. If you do believe this post has hurt you or I’ve said anything that has come across offensive to you please message me about it so I can know what I did wrong!
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om0000 · 7 months ago
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⚠️ sorta longass post
i like the characterization of Peepers' n Wander's dynamic where Peepers fucking hates Wander's guts n wants him dead i think its funny asf but also like. what if he doesnt. cuz Wander is a lot of things to Peepers, his boss' most hated enemy (that he needs to capture but doesn't half of the time cuz he sees it as a waste of time), an inconvenience to account for in his brilliant plans (which he doesnt do at first, ex. The Brainstorm, but later even incorporates Wander into his plans sometimes, ex. The Showstoppers, My Fair Hatey), the idiot friend of his Esteemed Rival, a tactical weakness("pure unadulterated love") that he needs to train the watchdogs out of, ect ect, but that's all through the lens of either his job or other people. i dont think Peepers actually personally hates Wander. if they existed in a vacuum bro would have no beef with him at all. and i don't think he does? id even say Peepers barely knows him enough to form a personal opinion abt him. i might even dare to say Peepers didn't even actually begin to acknowledge Wanders intelligence n the purposefulness behind his actions in The Prisoner. the fact that he continues to disregard n underestimate Wander (again ex. The Brainstorm n more) could suggest that him admitting that Wander is a "cunning, sly and crafty genius" back then was only to convince Hater to deactivate the self-destruct. n u could argue that his disregard of him is pretty reasonable especially compared to how outrageous Hater's concerns w him sound even if theyre real (ex. The Axe, The It, The Brainstorm n more) but i feel like it goes beyond that sometimes. Peepers refuses to acknowledge him as a real threat, refuses to see his strengths and, i feel like, refuses to actually get to know him. even from an enemy standpoint, yk keep ur friends close n ur enemies closer, n it probably has its roots in his shaky pride in his own intellect n hence self worth(i think its so fucking funny n also kinda pathetic how during That's how we'll get her when him n Sylvia were striking poses in the last chorus he pointed at his fucking head, oh he wants to be the brains to her brawn soooooo bad) that would falter if he admits to himself that WANDER of all ppl is a genius, n that's smth that comes to bite him in the ass often — but imagine if he did. imagine him starting to realize stuff abt Wander, begin to understand him, willingly or not. imagine him getting to know Wander, without the lense of everything else they got going on. i think that just has so much potential for enhancing their dynamic n is so interesting... n ill probably never actually do anything abt it but its rlly fun to think abt. like imagine. imagine that
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the-s1lly-corner · 6 months ago
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Hello! I’m back-
I know it’s very off season but hear me out:
I’d like to make a creepypasta request. The reader is a sculptor and thinks creepy pastas are fun. So every year they sculpt a creepypasta character and even has a little shelf of all of the other creepypasta sculptures. What would be the reaction of Toby, Nina and Laughing Jack? (If you don’t write for Nina or laughing Jack then feel free to replace them with Hoodie and Masky!)
Thank you!
- 🐨
Toby, Nina, and Laughing Jack x sculptor!reader
actually about to tweak out because im so itchy what is going on GOOD HEAVENS!! that aside, i hope you enjoy! notes: reader is gn, established relationships cws: edit
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toby
he thinks its a little... interesting! its not for him but hes not going to dog on you for enjoying something! he might tease you if he finds out you have a mini him though
dont be fooled hes going to be internally going nuts because wow! he cant believe you like him that much to do that? hes really worth that time?
one of the few characters i can think of that will make a jar joke about them, hes being fully ironic when he says it so no need to worry about him snatching a figure
he knows you do it as a hobby but rest assured hes going to shoot glares at some of the other figures, especially if theyre based off of someone he doesnt particularly like
make him stuff to keep on him- his keychain or pockets, it doesnt matter hes going to eat that up
not literally... thats laughing jack... more on that later
nina
honestly if she ever catches wind of you sculpting any creepypasta- and i know i tend to write them as if theyre all doing their own little thing but nina would definitely know of a bunch of them and even interact with them because fangirl nature- shes going to make some requests and even offer to pay you
obligatory shes going to commission you to sculpt her fictional crushes, but shes not going to pressure you
if you sculpt her? shes going to go absolutely insane! offers to pose for you if you need a reference... just let her put on her favorite outfit!
she thinks little her is so cute, if you're doing it as a small figure.. thinks its cute... might just ask if you can make a mini you so she can keep it- while you keep mini nina
a bit of an artist herself but shes not a sculptor, she appreciates your craft and hypes you up from the side
laughing jack
if you offer him of the material you use- such as clay, hes going to eat some of it... dont worry about it being non toxic! even if it werent, it wont have much of an affect on him
(gently) picks up the figures and boinks them together as if theyre fighting- it looks more like kissing
asks that you make yourself so he can make mini him kiss mini you, when you point out the boinking looks more like kissing
its actually a little sweet...
jack lacks the patience for stuff like this so hes even more impressed that youve made a hobby out of this!
on the chance he interacts with other creepypastas hes going to put in a good word for you- its actually a little sweet... just be ready to potentially have one at your door asking if you can do something!
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plutonianeris · 2 years ago
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ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴀ ᴄᴀʀᴅ: accepting where people see you as the villain ⛓𓌹*♰*𓌺⛓
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this is a general reading & for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. 🖤
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♱☾pile one☽
sometimes it feels like you can never win because one way or another, theres always someone criticizing you. People are nervous around you and its not necessarily anything you do. I got a lot of scorpio and plutonian energy in my cards/ the oracles. People in your daily life make you seem like the villain because either 1) you don't share too much of you and they are craving for access or 2) you are equally as suspicious of them. Regardless, people can be kind of intimidated of you (but never publically admit it, more like hide it behind shady comments). lol the lyrics of the song playing right now in the background "make everyone hate me if that makes you feel better, your girl talks shit about me just to feel better" as you keep climbing up in your career/ reputation youre going to feel like a lot of more people are judging you. Accept that you cant control that. And if it makes you feel any better, it is envy/ hate but its to hide some jealousy and even some admiration as well.
♡‧₊˚🕸 TIP JAR ‹𝟹 ∙ 🕷
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♱☾pile two☽
I heard "theres just no way in hell that this is all on me" the people you live with/ family (and in your hometown) could see you as the villain in those moments you are trying to express your emotions. You could get called being too "emotional" I heard "crybaby" or maybe even being called a hothead & impulsive when you try to talk to your loved ones about how you feel. You could be known for having a short temper or being very emotional (like the type to cry after seeing someone in pain or reading a sad news article). In reality, people close to you can get irritated with how emotionally intelligent you are. When you're angry/ upset about something your'e always determined to do something about it, and you start off by allowing yourself to feel your feelings. Accept that some people dont want to make room for you needs/ emotions. But then know when its time to refuse to give people more access to your energy and make sure you are meeting ur own needs. I just heard "I am worth more than these poor experiences you are trying to give to me"
♡‧₊˚🕸 TIP JAR ‹𝟹 ∙ 🕷
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♱☾pile three☽
you could find that people in your neighborhood, apartment complex, or even the school you go to tend to turn you into the villain on the forms you communicate/ ask questions/ express yourself intellectual point of view. If you have siblings you could find that you get into frequent fights or bicker a lot. Youre eager to learn new things and that could throw other people off as you rush past them, ready to know more about the world. this pile reminds me of a curious child lol touching the "dont touch" sign. Out of all the piles this one feels more playful. Its like people suck their teeth and roll their eyes but youre so resilient. you bounce back in a way that feels so efortless that they dont stay too mad. its like even the people that see you as "the villian" at times are still secretly rooting for you? idk lol this pile was weird but also kind of endearing. Again, it reminds me of the way a child falls and quickly gets back up. Even if people judge you, you know that you have to keep it pushing. I just heard "in 5 years... shit, in 5 weeks none of this bs is gonna matter"
♡‧₊˚🕸 TIP JAR ‹𝟹 ∙ 🕷
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♱☾pile four☽
people you get into close relationships with (friends, but especially lovers or even your crushes) can make you the villain for your "eccentricity." this pile gave off big Aquarius energty (it reminds me of those with aspects between venus and uranus). lol like your beauty and ways of being are very unique or quirky. honestly, those qualities (your forms of dress, taste in music, the weird things you say, random facts u know) are actually what makes people interested in you and start crushing on you. but then at the same time they judge you for not conforming to societal norms. It's like "I think you are unique and brave, but god cant you just be normal sometimes?" thats annoying! My advice to you is don't EVER let people treat you as if spending time with you was a burden and don't let people pick and choose when to hang out with you. watch out for when you have big groups of friends, you could find that 1 or 2 could be hating behind your back. You always stand out in the crowd and sometimes that leaves insecure people with a sour taste in their mouth. You could be someone that has a different religion/ ethnicity/ background in comparison from the rest of your peers (whether it be at school or work). lol alien superstar is playing in the background rn "don't ever waste your time trying to compete with me... no one else in this world can think like me'
♡‧₊˚🕸 TIP JAR ‹𝟹 ∙ 🕷
© plutonianeris🕸️🕷️
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ryuichirou · 2 months ago
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So i'm reading your yandere/hypnosis post and i get to Vil being utterly jealous enough to try on Rook; and it makes me think about his drive and the second place club lol (Leona, Jamil and Vil) like D: poor them they're always outranked by that ooonnee person! Can our boys catch a break? whether that person knows or not I always tend to feel bad--especially for Vil since i remember his inner speech in book 5 and the fact that his most trusted person ended up being such a big fan of the person who makes him feel like second best. wait i love rookvil i think i made myself sad LOL NOoo--aahh I rambled im sorry, i guess the main question i wanna ask is what do you think about those particular three always having to come second to their respective counterparts? I think your opinions and insight is so interesting that i'd like to know your thoughts on this! and you don't have to answer for all three characters if you dont wanna I was just curious on your thoughts! Anyways, have a good day and stay hydrated! it's hot this summer oof
Anon! Took some time to get back to you as well, sorry for the late reply. Summer is already over, but it’s still SO HOT…
Without diving into just how much I love the ending of book5 and the whole Rook-Vil-Neige thing (I feel like I talk about it all the time LOL)… It is interesting how these Vil, Jamil and Leona always get to be second best, isn’t it? But ironically, I don’t think I ever grouped them in my head based on this. Maybe it’s because of how different their situations are? But also now that I think about it…
Vil isn’t better than Neige, and he tries to be better by working hard.
Jamil is better than Kalim, but he can’t be better because of his status.
Leona may or may not be better than Falena in some ways, but he doesn’t even bother.
Ignoring the fact that this “better” is always subjective and in actuality things are more complex than that… and also trying not to sound like an armchair therapist that’s just telling anime boys “you should have done this you idiot”, but.
Jamil got the most development in that sense because this internal conflict is very straightforward, in fact, he was the easiest one to describe with these little sentences I just wrote. Jamil wants to stop pretending to be worse than he is, he wants to work hard and to show how great he is without being forced to get worse results than Kalim. He is only the second best because he consciously allows Kalim to be the best whenever he is given this choice. And he isn’t always given a choice: a lot of times the system decides for him, just like when Crowley chose Kalim to be the housewarden. Still, even in that situation, Jamil knows for a fact the shape, the density and the nature of this ceiling he can’t break, he’s been aware of it for his entire life. This is why it’s easy to pinpoint moments of Jamil’s growth: when he expresses how much he hates pretending to be worse than Kalim, when he says that he won’t hold back anymore, when he gets to dance and rap at VDC as a lead-vocalist and, ironically, when he gets scolded by Leona in ch6 (I have some issues with their sub-story, but still).
With Vil, the difficult part is to understand what exactly he understands as “beauty”: I mentioned it in a bunch of Vil-centric posts, but we’ve seen how in-canon he was described as too beautiful, therefore not as relatable as Neige. So this isn’t about beauty, and in a way I think this isn’t about Neige either. This is about Vil’s own feeling of self-worth and self-expression, and how people perceive him; Neige is just a very good point of reference, a good metric, especially considering that they always end up being compared to each other and that comparing numbers of followers is easy and seemingly objective (which is a cruel trap a lot of people fall for).
What I’m trying to say is that Vil isn’t fully and constantly aware of “the shape of this ceiling”, or rather why he can’t reach Neige; this is why we had that ending to his book. This isn’t solely about skill or quality, but those are the main things Vil focuses on.
And Leona… I am not sure about him, to be honest, because it boils down to one problem that I have with him: I am not sure what he wants.
It’s easy to compare him to Jamil because it seems like his issue lies in being frustrated with the system: he will never be the first because Falena is literally the first born son. But I don’t think it’s fair to compare a prince with a servant like that, because even though Leona wouldn’t be the king, he still has a lot of power and opportunities, and we’ve seen Falena valuing his strong points and expressing that he wants Leona to help him. One might even say that he invited Leona to be by his side, as a brother and an equal. But this isn’t what Leona wants in actuality, is it?
His “ceiling” seems to be obvious, but I guess his actual frustrations lie elsewhere, and those are kind of difficult to see because of how inconsistent he is. But maybe it’s just me being frustrated with his character again lol
I am replying so late because I really thought I would have some kind of conclusion about this whole thing, but it seems like I don’t lol Still, it was an interesting topic to think about.
Thank you for your ask! <3
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