#dont know if its enough for a trigger warning tho

[yin-shimo]

Collective (and final) Post

- because I'll be deleting the previous posts and hoping this singular one is good enough for everyone.

Let's get the biggest issue out of the way,

Yes, I am a proshipper and no i don't care how you feel about it. As always, please feel free to block me now and not bother to read the rest, its the reason i was open about being one in the first place.

I never cared i was banned from yoonie's server. i never talked in it and i wasn't there to make friends. I was in there solely to see if they said anything about me and yeah they did. You can go crazy and call me a stalker for that too, I get it. What they said is irrelevant (such as my cc, i don't know why its made out to seem like im upset abt that..) to why im upset, i just disliked them viewing my account like stalkers even tho none followed or liked me. Thats it. I would have never called out names etc if yoonnie hadnt vague posted me.

secondly, for all the csa and sa mentions and me supposedly posting weird ships or whatever. Please, please actually scroll through my account and show me where i have EVER talked about any ships (aside from wx), posted images abt the topic, or anything similar.

while youre at it, please show me where it was that i failed to tag such 'problematic' nsfw posts. you do know i only tag them with #xian: spice, my oc tags and occasionally #simspice, right? My pinned says im an 18+ blog, my description says 18+ only, how many warnings are expected of me?

next, where and when did i ever interact with anyone, especially from that clique, that made them so uncomfortable? it couldnt be in yoonie's server. i didnt talk about my self or interests and no one ever posted in the nsfw channel of my own server when it existed. so again, it couldnt be there either. I dont even interact with minors on discord or tumblr!

please, please understand that i KNOW there are many many topics people arent comfortable with (i have some too) and theyre 100% valid! especially to block/unfollow me for! Aside from one recent render, I have never posted anything worth a CW (and the render is properly tagged with #cw: implied abuse) and if i do again, it will always have the proper CW. I am not trying to trigger anyone.

If somehow, my pfp, description, etc, is enough to trigger you, please please just stay away from my account for your own sake. and the yarichin argument is weak and only proves the people so uncomfortable and 'triggered' by me apparently still look at my page and saw my current pfp lol

the only post that will be left is the ask i answered showing how harmful corona 'jokes' are towards all asians whether theyre chinese or not

[sparklyeyedhimbo]

this is gonna be a veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery long post. Open it in another tab or something. This is gonna be like this bird post so be warned

Get yourself some snacks and a drink.

where to begin to start explaining my gear and your gown.

first of all a few trigger warnings: homophobia, violence, under age drinking, parental figure dying, attempted rape*, singing

when you see this shot in episode 10 at 34:55 skip to 36:07 if you can

Let us check out the plot summary now.

IMBD what you got for us

Not much as expected this is like the base plot like the 1% of it all. (kali why are you even looking there. IDK i wanted some VARIATIONS idk)

Let us check MyDramaList they like to give some more meat

...and this is as far as i go down the fires of MDL. Now we have a LITTLE bit more base knowledge.

This is an enemies to study buddies to "friends" to enemies to strangers to friends to lovers story. (very long trope but you will get it)

..with a cast that makes newer and older bl fans go like WAIT THEY ARE IN THIS?

Before we get more into the plot of this story, let me introduce the boys and the gurls and who is who and who is doing what with who. Confused? you are welcome 😎

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Lets start with the MAIN people that this story is about

oh btw the colors mean nothing is just wanted to have some colors in this so it's not just a wall of text

This is pai our little, nearsighted, insecure, introverted and bad with his words boy. That falls head over broken glasses for itt that saves him not once but twice. But he can't really see itts face everytime because his glasses fall off.

He will get rid of his glasses (because of lasik he rich booooy and glasses make people ugly apparently) when he gets older. Will also do everything in his power to make sure that itt gets to live his dreams. With questional techniques to make sure it happens.

highschool!pai: i'm only gonna tutor you so you can get into uni. Pls pang (itts ex girlfriend) get back together with itt so he is more motivated to go back to school, i'm only gonna forgive you if you let me tutor you again.

uni!pai: i lost your trust so ofc you hate me and don't want me in your life i know this. i'm okay to watch you shine from afar

This is itt (badumtiss sorry everytime i have to read this phrase i have to laugh) our angry, can recognize pais handwriting everywhere, ball is life, grumpy and loves to stare at pai boy. Will wear a bowtie when he hits rock bottom.

And will do anything to make sure his boy gets more out of his shell, even tho his techniques are also questionable at best. Its not that bad in highschool but boy does he dial it up to 100 when they are in uni.

highschool!itt: ..pierce your ear you coward [affectionate]

uni!itt: ..you want your earing back? Join the beauty pageant, pai wants to entertain people, pai wants to answer this question, asks pai stupid med question (because he sees that pai feels uneasy talking infront of people) which pai has to correct and make him ease up, etc

IttPai

These two are the main couple in this "masterpiece". Staring at eachother (from afar to near to angry to lovie dovie) and miscommunication are their favorite activities. They both will continue doing these even in uni which will give you the urge to pull your hair out. wich will lead to much unnecessary drama. Because both just want the other one to have their best lifes, because BOTH of these two idiots think they are not good enough for eachother. Can you belieeeeeeEEEeeeeve that? They once go out for some wonton noodle soup because pais parents can't make dinner (it's a date but pshh dont tell them). And thats where pai gets his ugly ass earring. That will be the plot device to move things along.

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Now lets get to know the rest of them.

This is folk, the very tall, handsome, with a little obsession with pai at the start, going to be a dentist and writer boy. Is not so happy that pure always sabotages him and pai. Can quote barbra streisand from the top of his head.

Enters the story right before the timeskip, he gets scolded by pai for reading the number for a classroom wrong and that is what made folk fall hard. Folk meets pai in uni again and uses their "first" first meeting as a pick up line, didn't really land. He will try to forget about pai after that camping trip in uni with a little help of pure *wink*

There is a subplot in the series where there is an Mr.950. You will think Folk is Mr.950 (because that was the number he read wrong) that is giving pai little gifts. But he is not that dude it's itt its always itt kidz.

This is pure very small, loves to fool around, will not use the hecking condoms (gets an "well deserved" std-scare that makes him and waan bond and become real good friends and you try not to ship like the doc that reads out the test waan made pure take, always have protection with you kidz) his sucky mom throws at him because she is as bad as her son when it comes to fool around, will do anything that makes his BFF itt happy, ball is also life, his first love was a coward and let him get beaten up by bullies, and will fall head over heels for a certain dentist boy.

He pushes folk to confess to pai (do it bro or it will be to late), and folk getting brutally rejected by pai. And after that pure and folk drive back to drink the pain away and for pure to "comfort" the poor soul.

folks fish: they were banging. There was so much banging happening

PureFolk

Thank you folk for explaining purefolk, love me this trope when the two people that gonna be together in the end. Tell them stuff like that and ask the other for an answer.. AND IT HAPPENS LIKE THE OTHER ONE SAYS. THEIR SHIP DYNAMIC IS JUST TOLL/SMOLL, enemies to friends with benefits to with a lot of unnecessary drama lovers. ..pure even saves folks face id so folk can unlock pures phone. It was love at first oishi ad scene

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last but DEFENETLY NOT least

This is waan (and his girl beau) second most intelligent, token straight, with no game till he meets beau (at one point you will and want to slap waan for beau because lord he stupid*.), best friends with pai by fate (fate as we are both have the most brain lets be friends) a very kind boy.

*this part of the camp. SHE WAS SO HAPPY AND HE CRUSHES HER HOPES BECAUSE HE THINKS THAT AFTER PURESAID IF HE COULD HELP HER WITH HER, THAT PURE IS GONNA STEAL HER AWAY FROM HIM. *tries to calm down*

...they figure it out after he gets hurt by getting hit by an basketball that Itt was throwing (you have to watch it pls). BUT BOY, what a mess it was thanks pure (but ofc pure only did that to give waan a push to finally stand HIS ground) what i want to say about these two is they are the cutest and i will forever love them

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phew now that we got that out of the way lets go through the plot a bit. Lets just make it some bulletpoints because i want you all that you watch this.

I lied this got out of hand have bulletpoints with all my brain came up with enjoy.

STILL PLEASE WATCH IT.

pai starts his first day of school after 5 years in england. It's his last year in HS. (and trust me you saw me how angy i was with simm and lemme tell you NO ENGLISH WORDS pass pai lips once NOT ONCE) his parents are so busy they won't even eat breakfast with him :(

he gets to school gets hit by a soccer ball, this is were he first meets Itt and after that pai gets announced head of the bishop club (the smartie pants club) because he smort, but he declines at first.

after school and pai and waan are about to get driven home by pais driver. He just looks at waan and runs away. (To this day i have no clue why he does it) He almost gets robbed by thugs in a back alley BUT Itt is here to save the day. Sadly pais glasses break from the run in with said thugs. But no worries itt fixes them with a tape.

back at school pai ask waan if he could find the owner of said tape. But waan will only help him if pai takes on the role of head of the bishop club. So pai accepts this deal.

But as soon as pai said yes, the teacher approaches pai to tell him that the knight club (the sport nerd) lost their building and now are going to get the bishops clubs room, because they got more accomplishments. And his is going to get disbanded.

pai goes to the principal and guess who he meets there? The head of the knights club and it's itt. After talking to the principal and promising him that he will use his connections with his dad to get some activities going. The principal decides that they have to share the room.

after this pai talks to itt infront of the principal office and thanks him for helping him and if he remembers him. itt just tells pai that he doesn't remember people who lik to pull strings.

enter the we are "enemys" now phase, with Itt and his knight club members trying to annoy the bishop club members to leave.

pure takes one of his hook ups into the room and spills some juice and trys to mop it up with some very important papers, waan sees that and they get into a little fight, a projector gets damaged.

waan sees his time as his chance to get the knights out of their room. But he overhears pure and his mother talking and it's not the nice (at this point just throw away the whole mum) in the end he takes the blame for damageing the projector.

because of this situation the teacher tells pai that he has to agree to her proposition that he has to tutor itt or she will disband the bishop club (don't look at me i still have no clue how this makes any sense)

pai agrees and now the whole study buddies era happens. Naturally not without Itt ditching the first lesson, but he had a reason. His mom is in the hospital with sickness (it could be cancer?) and he was visiting her. Pai goes to see his parents that are working at the same hospital itts mum is a patient in. And pai sees itt with his mom and also overhears and sees the argument he has with his father (WHO BRINGS HIS MISTRESS WITH HIM TO HIS DYING WIFE INTO THE TRASH WITH HIM)

because pai sucks at hiding itts sees that he overheard this confronts pai. They make a deal that pai won't say anything about this if itt lets him tutor him. NOW we are entering the study buddies to friends era.

Itts mum finds them studying together and happily demands that they should do these lessons in her patient room. She is really happy and jokes around with pai about her son (first supporter of IttPai)

everything is going great and pai and Itt becoming friends and mayhabs feelings blossoming, they even go eat wonton noodle soup, when pais parents ditch him because of work. And thats where pai gets the gown earring and his ears pierced. When pai gets home is parents are very suprised and shocked about this. (to this day i am confused because of pais parents, their reactions to things are so CONFUSING)

pai proudly wears the earing to their next tutoring session, but itt also invited his girlfriend peng along. Pais new found confidence goes back into the shell.

everything is going to shit at this point (we are only in episode 4 so buckle up) Pai is very cold to itt and even declines the offer to go eat together.

SOMEHOW pai does go to the wonton noodle shop (don't ask me why he decided to go like i just write here what i see for you guys) and sees itt eating there with peng. Pai walks away sad and gets hit by a car.

while this is happening itts mom also not doing so good. She passes away when pai gets hit by the car.

at the same time waan and pure also kind of bond and become friends. After waan sees two people fight over who gets to be with pure. Waan asked pure for help, the both of them go to an cafe and pure tries to teaches waan on how to flirt which back fires and they go out drinking.

on their way back from the cafe waan asked pure why he is the way he is with his relationships. And he drops the my first love was an ass he let me get beaten up by guys so now i don't feel love anymore. (trust me at this point you will go 👀🏳‍🌈 at them)

at the club our little player gets in a fight with someone accusing him on giving their girlfriend HIV.

waan goes looking for pure after he didn't show up for school a few days. He talks to pure and on how important it is to use protection even to it is from your shitty as moms leftovers (this whole scene is very bf coded but alas), waan drags him to the hospital to get a check up.

Where we get this iconic scene

back to pai and itt we are now in another we are no friends anymore era where itt is angry at pai for "not being there when his mom died" even tho he himself was also in the same hospital. Out of fear to lose his home (because shitty dad), itt even tries to drop out of highschool (rock bottom time the is a bowtie involved). Yes i say tries, because not on pais watch is that gonna happen. Pai tries to convince itt that he will earn more money as an engineer then whatever job is is doing right now. (we have a little pai almost getting hit by another car moment but they stare at eachother way to long 10/10) Pai playfully calls itt and idiot if does not show up to their tutoring session the next day.

He even tries to persuade peng to get back together with itt so he has more motivation to go back. But it backfires itt saw how peng was trying to kiss pai. (Just as we thought the drama is over right?)

the boys are "fighting" again but thanks to waan and pure the conflict is set aside very quickly. The four boys are now all friends and have a few nice days/weeks

pai and itt get accidentally locked in school and have to spent a night there where pai loses his earring.

in the morning the teacher calls pai to her office to tell him that he done his part, and that the bishop club now have their room back. Itt finds the earring and was about to enter the teachers room and overhears these two talking. (the real enemy era starting now)

the next day itt confronts pai that he has pais earring and he tells pai that he overheared the conversation with the teacher and pai just yield and begs itt to give him back his earring. Itt will only give it back if pai gives his club the room back. But because pai can't do this he promises to do anythingelse to get the earring back. But itt is not having it and keeps the earring.

folk enters the story at this point he first get scolded by angry heartbroken pai that he should read the room numbers correctly and take school seriously.

folk ruins a hook-up for pure because he tries to give back a pencilcase to the wrong girl.

pai gives notes to pure for itt..but because itt KNOWS pais handwriting he get so angry and goes to pais house to throw these notes at him and yell at him.

all of the boys get into their unis

TIMESKIP WE ARE IN UNI NOW

pai now has no glasses anymore (we get the first sotus call back with them trying to tell the meaning of the letter but JINKS they don't do this anymore..PUuuuh) and we meet beau for the first time and waan totally falls for beau.

this is also when mr.950 comes into play, it's a mystery person that gifts pai little gifts over the next 4 episodes.

pai gets a bit dizzy and almost faints after painting 2 lines of paint but he gets saved by the mystery man mr.950

pai also meets folk again, who straight out flirts with pai. He gets rudly interrupted by pure, who jokingly accuses him of being a player and sleeping around. (lets just say he uses it as a revenge for when folk wanted to give back that damn penicle case to the wrong girl pure was trying to flirt with)

this iconic scene happens after

at the dance thing the freshy have to do, pai has to do a little dance, because itt called out his name and said that he wants to.

folk joins him with the dancing because our dear pai is just to stiff and awkward

pai confronts itt after that event and begs itt to leave him alone.

beau ask pai to become their facultys king for the beauty contest but as always pai declines. (and ofc itt is in earshot and hears it)

we get this little scene where Itt uses the earring to get pai to join the beauty contest.

this amazing purefolk scene happens (it's their Ohhhhhh moment because after that its on....but folk still has his crush on pai)

a photoshoot for the freshy king things happens and pai really isn't feeling all to good on how stiffly and uncomfortable he looks in his pictures. Itt teases pai on how if he keeps doing so poorly on keeping his promise he should say bye bye to the earring, which REALLY riles up pai and he promises that he still has some tricks up his sleeves.(at this point you can feel that itt does these things from a place of love because booooy)

folk casually follows pai to his dormroom (don't worry he also lives there but still i was ehk?) and asked him for an chance to hit on him. Pai answer is "... to have it his way but he stands by as his friend first" (don't look at me i am also confused) Folk uses an even lamer pick up line this time.

folk gets to his room and he meets his neighbour! Guess who it is! ..imma tell you it's pure

waan tells pai that he likes beau but that he knows that she is out of his league (oh broother..noo) and that he is gonna join the freshy competition as a volunteer so he can be around beau. Because thats all he needs to be happy

ITS FRESHY COMPETITION CAMP TIME BEECHES time to get some progress on these couples!

Everytime pai has to do an activity, there is always itt trying to make him feel at ease or do things that help pai feel at ease (asking a stupid med question when pai feels uncomfy when he has to introduce, hurting himself so pai can show how to treat a wound, holds his hand when they have to walk blindfolded) They have a little moment in the tent, like they had back in hs when they where locked up.

waan gets closer to beau and helps her out in camp as good as he can. You could say they kind of flirt with eachother. But this spark of hope is soon put out by pure asking waan at the white band ceremony if could help him flirt with beau. Our boy waan is so defeated that when beau "ask if he wants to hit on her" he is like no..but a friend of mine does. Which in return leaves beau sad and a little heartbroken because she thought waan liked her.

talking about pure, his whole stick this camp is to keep folk away from pai. Or to sabotage them from having any interactions. Pure only urges folk on to man up and to confess his feelings after folk saw that itt and pai was holding hands. He gets rejected by pai

pure and folk drive back together to drink have a little talk and one leads to another and to bring back the fish from earlier

they decide to become friends with benefits (i am at this point that i believe that no one knows what a friend with benefits is because what these two are doing? Is kinguea league of doing it)

back at school pai talks to folk, if he is mad at him because pai heard that folk wasn't feeling so good. Folk ask for some time from pai so he can get over him.

after the meeting for the freshy competition folk just wants to go back and write his novel, but there is pure with other ideas. But folk brushes those ideas off and leaves without pure.

we see yachts character again nickey...we will meet him again and all i can say is with a gif

nickey wants pure to go to a party with him but pure declines with probably the biggest 🥺 while looking after folk.

pure and folk some cute moments while folk tries to write, when pure comes home from a bar, in school, (trust me guys you need to watch it)

folk reads some msg between waan and pure (thats what happens if you save your FWB faceID on your phone and say stuff like i won't keep secrets from you and you act sus buddy) where waan ask pure why he is messing around with folk if he wants to hit on beau and pure the idiot that he is answers that waan should fawn over her and that he going to enjoy folk until he gets tired of him. (put the pitchforks down this will get resolved...somehow)

we are at a basketball match now and pai is standing on the sidelines lost in thoughts. They begin to throw a ball at eachother angrier eachtime.

waan gets hit by a ball that itt throws at pai and hurts his wrist

let me remind you now at the trigger warning from the beginning the one with the door? well thats gonna happen now. I'm no going into detail

back to Itt and pai, Itt comes by to apologize to waan in the hospital but pais not having it and tells itt that from now on that this hatred is no longer one-sided.

all in all the boys are doing great

we finally get an inside look on why itt did the things he did to pai

pure comes clean about his intentions for beau, that he never liked her and that he only saied it to give waan a push. (they get together i mean beau and waan heheheheheh)

a sad heartbroken pure is at a club and gets a little "..Sowwy for you know doing almost a bad thing with you friend :< here have this" gift from nickey. (It's a hook up and oh boy will pure regretti spagetti this but he will punch nickey and make him apologize to folk so theres that but still puuuure whhhhy)

folk and pure talk with eachother and they decide to no longer to be FWB and that they are now going out. Pure has to promise folk that he is going to be his only one.

pai comes by to bring folk some congee and tells folk that he no longer has to refer to himself as mr. 950 BUT SUPRIIIIIIIIIIISE folk never was it. Pure gives pai the tip that it is the number of their old club room in highschool.

pai goes to visit waan in the hospital and waan no longer can keep the secrets he had and tells him everything.

ITS COMPETITION TIIIIIIIME time for our queen to serenade us! (i only just realizing what lyrics she is singing oasdjhjdksad)

everyone is getting ready for the show, the boys show off their little talents. And then there is itt who just goes up to the microphone and gives up. (yet still he wins the popularity vote i am amazed 10/10)

pai sings the song itt played for them when they all where in highschool.

PAI WINS THE HECKING CONTEST

after the competition he meets up with itt infront of the photography club. Itt gives him his earring back and pai asks what the room behind him looks like inside (he doesn't even wait for an okay he just walks in)

BIG DARK BLUE KISS ENERGY *intro plays in the background* with all the photos all over the room (okay they are mostly just pai but okay itt is on this hecking crush for a bit) as they watch a slideshow of pictures of pai they tell how much they love eachother

Itt finally reveals that he is mr.950 and shows pai his own earring he got himself as a memento of pai.

their shipname is brick/white now

they exchance their earrings and FINALLY kiss. But they get rudly interrupted by pais parents and his mother almost fainting.

pais parents are not really okay with their son kissing a boy in puplic and him talking back at them. Pai is so devastated by his parents reaction that he breaks up with itt

pais parents make him change schools back to england? When pai gets to school to pick up the papers he meets itt that does the same. Itt tells him "he only went here because of him" and gives pai back his earring

At lunch with his parents at home pai cracks and just cries and his parents finally see maybe we did something wrong? They even talk to an psychologists.

When it's time to fly back to england?? Pai stops his parents to say to them that he does not want to go. His mother asks him if he is really sure? AND when he says yes with confidence. His father calls out Itts name and itt comes out of his hiding place (imagine pai NOT doing this..the awkwardness oooof)

the parents and itt had a talk and now pai gets to stay and be happy and together with itt (hecking finally and like going to england won't make your son less anxious and gay. Thank the lord they figured that out. Itt is gonna be favorite son-in-law in no time)

pure and folk are back at the hospital, because nickeys little gift well...wasn't as clean as hoped BUT pure is now! So HAPPY ENDING FOR THESE TWO ASWELL

The friendgroup go on a camping trip and all three couples are as disgustingly cute as they can be.

WE MADE IT TO THE END OF THE POST I DID IT

I hope i made you want to watch this show now, or if i already took away everything and you are now nah thanks i am good. And i hope you got the infomation you needed out of this long ass post.

i think i need to rest for a day now

........anyhow it was kinda fun diving into this and keeping my mind busy.

@markpakin @petrichoraline @jyuubin @pajindapat

if i missed anyone that wanted a tag i am sorry but ENJOY

[failuregirl-y-kei]

Hi! This blog is a little secret jirai blog of @finn-thefish just for things that aren't sunshine and rainbows like on my main

My name is Finny, but you can also call me Failure as a nickname (honestly prefered slightly cuz i dont like actual names). I use mostly it/its pronouns, but any are totally fine, even neos and xenos!

This is basically just a blog for anything that comes to mind, so if you find anything triggering I don't give a fuck (and I add trigger warnings on every risky post so its your fault if you don't like the stuff I post)!!

I feel like its important to mention that I am self-diagnosed auDHD, BPD and (not fully sure cuz there aren't enough resources) NPD traits, so my acts may seem a bit extreme or weird, but that's how I am :3

Boundaries I'd like to not be crossed:

★ Don't sexualize me, I am a minor!

★ Adults, do not follow me (unless i follow you first)!!

★ Don't send me pics of fresh self-harm, or vents out of the blue, that's just kinda weird imo

★ Don't threaten me, don't stalk me, don't dox me, all of that stuff

★ Don't sexualize my underage or ace characters, or atleast don't show it to me

DNIs:

★ Basic DNI criteria (homophobes, racists, ect)

★ Proshippers

★ People who sexualize underage characters with an excuse that they "aged them up" (for example, Christopher Pierre) that's weird, doesn't matter if you're a minor or not

★ NSFW/porn/fetish blogs and anti-recovery/pro-ED/pro-SH blogs

★ Any problematic content creator supporter (such as Wilbur Soot, Melanie Martinez and so on)

★ Any blog that's "minors DNI" because if you don't want minors interacting with you, don't interact with minors (like me)!!

★ Any person with controversy about them, I do NOT wanna get controversy about me cuz it makes me feel bad and I feel "bad" as like holy shit I'm gonna kms cuz im worthless

★ Anyone I know irl, sorry man but I don't want anyone seeing what I think on a daily if you're gonna see me irl

interests and socials if anyone wants to contact me ↓↓↓↓

Socials

★ discord: ★Finny★ or f4ilure_g1rl

★ tiktok: @desire_for.approval

★ snapchat: finn_fishyblub (i dont use it much tho)

★ spacehey: F4ILURE_G1RL

Music & Interests

★ music: nirvana, ghost and pals, maretu, some kikuo songs i cant read the names of, project sekai covers of vocaloid songs, oingo boingo, lemon demon, mitski, omori soundtrack, ddlc soundtrack, needy streamer overload soundtrack and those game songs like break my mind and creeper aw man (+ more but i cant rememberr)

★ interests: ghost and pals, project sekai, ddlc, needy streamer overload, fnaf, regretevator, class of '09, omori, biology, astronomy, chemistry and probably more cuz i forget a lot

Other stuff

★ im jirai, but not rare i have fun with clowncore and stuff

★ pro-recovery!! just not for myself tho :P

★ im bulgarian and often times i think im the only bulgarian jirai (cuz i havent been proven otherwise)

★ very bad at keeping up a conversation and making friends, idk if thats me being aplatonic or just neurodivergent, or both

[miraculousasscheeks]

chapter 1 { origins}

Warning this is my first time writing and I am brand new to this.

And English is my first language so expect grammatical errors.

Read our see this first

many centuries ago there existed creatures coined as kwamis, these kwamis were playful little creatures, they have been around since the start of the universe. they helped as much as they could with whatever they could to the companions they chose to live with. 

soon humans came along, on dear humans they were so adorable, so curious, and so so creative with their self-conscious minds, but where there is good there will always be bad, for that is the law of the universe. and kwamis are the children of the universe, one could even call them gods, they were worshiped but soon enough, they too fell for the greed of man.

humans are peculiar creatures, what they dont control or know, they destroy. this had been tradition as they were the ones who wanted power, but of course, every rule has an exception just like the biology textbooks used for neet, there was a single woman, she had been shunned by the world for her rarity, she knew, and she knew a lot, so the kwamis from all over the world came forth to her and asked for her help.

She was a kind soul so she asked for only one thing in return, knowledge. the centuries old kwamis agreed and so she linked them to jewels and creatures of their choice, but proving that she was human she stole a bit of their power for herself creating her own kwami, this was later revealed to the kwamis as disappointed as they were they went ahead and agreed to keep the new kwami under their control and guidance.

years went by and the human was come to be known as the Vakran.

"say nooroo, what was the use of you miraculous again?" The tall man smiled as he spoke to his kwami that was munching on a grapefruit slice, he had just been released from his jewel after quiet a long time. 

"oh- i didn't explain? well my power is that i can grant someone their own superpower and to make that person your devoted follower, tho they will have to have some sort of strong emotion if you want them to do you "bidding"",  the kwami spoke with cheerfulness un-knowing to him that his holder would make unfair use of the miraculous, the man was sitting in a beautiful garden with a table in the center, he knew what to do now, so he calmly took a sip of his tea as he was silent, too entertained watching the cute creature munch away on another piece of chopped up fruit.

"you just have to say the trigger: nooroo: pure wings rise"

"well lets give it a try shall we?" Gabriel agrest spoke as he gently pated the butterfly kwami on the head. The butterflies in the garden around them fluttering around sensing the new found energy.

"Marinette!! wake up honey its time for school!" Sabine yelled for her daughter to wake up, the whipped up her some snacks to munch during class while the teacher was talking, she knew her daughter would doze off otherwise, she wanted the best for her daughter.

"coming maaaAAAAAAA!!!" a loud thud could be heard from the room above, Sabine knowingly opened the fridge and pulled out a frozen water bottle for her daughter as the said young lady stumbled into the room unbothered, yas queen.

"you need this?" Sabine held up the frozen water-bottle out of her daughter's reach just for fun. she had a sly smirk on her face.

"no" Marinette said as she took the water-bottle and and laced it on her toes with her left hand as she munched on some steamed stuffed buns with her right hand. 

Marinette had 2 ear piercing's on each ear, she had gotten the second pair just recently and she loved them to no end, the young fashion designer wanted different ways to express herself, she was 16 I guess that was an ok thing to do.

after getting dressed she had short hair so she let it down most of the time, one could say it was a pixie cut that had grown to reach her chin covering her right ear as she tucked the remaining hair behind her left one. she knew she was late, she was fashionably late, not too late tho attendance was an important thing.

she took the box along with a couple band-Aids from her father giving him a crisp high-five after a hug, as her dad wished her a good day she walked out of the bakery as the morning rush began. while crossing the road she was in a predicament, the light was red but there was a old man who had a mustache and a goatee, and dayum, he was short for a old man.

Seeing there were like 3 cars and a bus coming behind him and he was struggling to walk she yoinked him to the other end of the road, her macaron box fell to the ground as the old man thanked her.

"thank you miss" he thanked her taking his cane in his hand, and using it to lean on. Lookin guiltily on the macarons in the side walk he cringed as a few were crushed by the people walking by. "oh no. what a disaster" he said to the young lady with the short hair.

"oh no, its fine, just be more careful next time sir" she offered him a macaron from the remaining in the box, stuffing it in her bag after he took one. she fixed her hair and bolted to class running fast and skipping steps, but she also managed to bang her toes on the last step one time as she reached the floor the class was on. running fast she  sheepishly tried to hide her out of breath-ness as she asked for permission

"c- *wheeze*can I *wheeze* can I come in ma'am?" she asked peaking thru the door as Mrs. Bustier looked at her student in surprise, she had just called out her name as she practically crashed into her class.

"looks like you tried running away from you god awful fashion sense for once Dupain-cheng" a nasty voice could be heard from the 4th bench of the class, it was one bench short of the last, the infamous, Chloe Bourgeois spoke as she filed her already perfect nails, her best friend and henchman, Sabrina giggled at that statement. 

"Chloe, hush up dear, and Marinette take a seat next to the the new boy" mrs, busteir spoke as she continued her attendance.

As Marinette headed to her seat next to the new boy she calmed herself down and drank some after, after all that running she was pumped and was laser focused on her class. unknowing to her her bench-mate was someone she wanted to work with a lot. just behind her was Chloe,  Chloe was close friends with Adrien. the two were childhood friends. but this was Adrien we were talking about. 

as the bell rang the 10 minute gap between classes took place so that students could go from class to class without hassle. while packing her bag Marinette took notice of the person next to her.... she was flabbergasted as she  barely managed to speak, she was screaming in her brain, the one and only Adrien fucking Agrest.

seeing that she was staring at him Adrien took initiative so that he wouldn't make it too awkward with his new benchmate. "um... hello?" he spoke out giving her a quick wave. 

"HI!" she spoke out too quickly not functioning anything. "I'm Marinette" she held out her hand for him to shake. Sensing that the odd awkwardness was no longer there in the air he took her hand and gave it a firm shake. "Im adrien" he too did not bother to give out his last name. 

Realizing she had a box full of Macarons in her bag she pulled it out and offered him to take one from it  "to a new school year?", she smiled at him, "to a new school year" he replied back as he took one from it. Marinette looked at her favorite model from pointrest, what she was a fashion designer, Adrien had his own board and all, if Mari had to approximate, he had like 400 pins or so of his own. what its not creepy, its for inspiration!

the macaron box made it's way across the entire class room, even Chloe took one from it. they were business partners after all, no matter how much the two squabbled they never truly hatted each other. Adrien had took another macaron from the almost empty box as he liked sweet treats. 

today was a fun day for Marinette as she managed to get Adrien's number. he said he was not used to public school, explaining how he might need some help to work things out, and what other ways to make friends than the person who sits next to you throughout the whole day?

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(earlier that day before school)

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Nooroo... i think its time." a tall man explained as he stood in his garden of flowers, he had a cotton turtle neck sweater with intricate designs, with a pull of a zipper a brooch was exposed. 

"of course Gabriel, say what will you even use the miraculous for?" Nooroo asked with eyes full of curiosity, hoping for a good answer from his holder. Gabriel smiled as he patted the butterfly's head with a finger, he replied with a tone of obviousness,

 "you will see soon, you shall see soon Nooroo"   

"Nooroo: Dark wings, Rise" 

"Wa-" before Nooroo could respond, the little kwami was sucked into the brooch, the man had transformed into his suited form as a miracle holder.

"time to get to work my beautiful akumas." he tapped the floor o the garden with his staff and the beautiful multicolored butterflies had been transformed into dark and black akumas with white glitches of power passing thru them. 

Please do tell me which part of the fic you liked the most and don't forget to leave a like and follow for when I upload.

Hafagretdae

Toodles ✨✨

[actualbird]

woop i guess here i go− does it ever bother u how they don't really ever quite explain what's going on with luke's illness other than "aAAAH he'S sUDDENLY in PAIN!!1!1!" and some sort of nerve damage and what not... not that it doesn't make it any less sadder... BUT!!! sometime ago i looked up the symptoms of nerve damage and apparently it says stuffs like sharp pains (which we see happen often to luke through out) BUT ALSO numbness, tingling, loss of muscle strength, and suddenly dropping stuff??? so i'm just wondering if you have any headcanons on luke's illness? DO YOU THINK HE'S JUST IN CONSTANT STINGING PAIN, AND HIS PAIN KILLERS ARE SO STRONG IT JUST NUMBS HIS WHOLE BODY??? OR DO YOU THINK HE ALTERNATES BETWEEN FEELING NUMB AND SUDDEN SHARP PAINS??? this has been my personal hc ever since jfjsjd i'm sorry you could see i'm a luke stan cause all luke stans are angst enjoyers /hj i just wanted to share my brain rot to the world thank you

hi anon!!! first off, i deffo wanna say uve come to the right place both abt luke hcs (because im a luke enjoyer first, a human being second) AND thoughts about his illness

tho i wouldnt say im bothered by how they dont explain the symptoms of his illness much since narratively, i can see how this would be necessary to maintain a certain amount of suspense on the NXX drug

however, ur so right in bringing up those other symptoms, bc ive got a bunch of thoughts and feelings about this!!

for context, i also have a longtime undiagnosed-after-years-of-tests neurological condition, but it's not serious and more just a lifetime inconvenience. i experience muscle myoclonus, which means that at any time without warning, my legs, arms, or neck can suddenly jerk into movement and ive actually got a bunch of those symptoms u mention haha!

but enough about that! lemme go thruuuuu

some of my thoughts/hcs on luke's illness

wc: 1.7k

before i start, this is whole thing is going to be mixing fiction (tot's story) and fact (IRL information on certain illnesses, medications, etc). the fiction bit is important because while tot describes luke's condition and shows us its effects, does Not name what it is, and the whole thing is still shrouded in a lot of mystery. but the fact bit is important because there are real conditions out there that are similar to what luke has, based on what we know.

among them, Fibromyalgia seems like the closest real world condition to what luke has got, but since it's not outright stated in canon, i'll be making some stuff up. still, it's important to me to have like, a somewhat sensible system in making stuff up, which is why im laying down all this ground work jhvjdhsfd, and because in the hc portion of this post i'll be riffing off of some of my own experience

anyhoo, let's REALLY start with what we already Know

-

what we know of luke's illness thus far from all the available story information from the global server

key words in that above title are "global server", because im aware that main story episode 9 in the cn server looks like it'll give us more info on this, but i dont like to or want to spoil myself for tot's future main story. so i'll be working within global server parameters!

so heres everything we know (...or rather, what i was able to remember in the course of me writing this response HAHA), as its been outright said and confirmed in canon:

luke's condition is currently diagnosed as terminal

luke's condition mostly manifests in sudden pain episodes that happen randomly and without warning. these pain episodes are not described to be coming from any specific body part, just that it's pain in general.

these pain episodes happen without any external trigger (i.e. luke doesnt have a pain episode when somebody bumps into him suddenly, but he can have a pain episode out of nowhere just doing something as passive as sitting or standing)

immediately after a pain episode, he takes his meds

these meds are analgesics (painkillers) and he was prescribed them by his previous doctor (the one who was handling luke and his condition before aaron)

even now that aaron has taken over as luke's primary physician, luke still takes painkillers immediately after any pain episode to manage the pain

luke's condition was caused by the NXX drug. after a mission where his team was attacked with toxic gas, he was the only survivor and the medicine he was given was somehow contaminated with the NXX substance

the NXX drug causes damage to the central nervous system, and luke's condition is confirmed to be related to his nervous system because in SSR Under The Milky Way, he describes his condition very specifically with the lines "[The contaminant] caused irreversible damage to my nervous system." and "[I] will constantly suffer from intermittent nerve pain."

-

hcs on The Experience Of The Condition

the main physical symptom we see in canon is pretty clear: sudden and randomly occurring debilitating pain. i like to think it's of the stinging variety!! but dialed up to 10000000 because it's always shown to be intense enough that always luke reacts to the pain. and luke's pain tolerance is High. in personal story 4, he didnt even flinch when mc was stitching up his gash, but he did double over in pain, trembling and shaking, when he got hit with one of the pain episodes.

in addition to the pain though, i totally second the motion on the symptoms of numbness, tingling, loss of muscle strength (which then leads him to train more to compensate for any loss, because luke is a madman with low self worth and one of his skills is his physical strength so he needs to keep that up for as long as he can), and suddenly dropping stuff, the ones you mention. a

those are my thoughts on possible physical symptoms. but with a condition as heavy as this, there will be psychological/emotional ramifications too

because of how tot's canon shows luke experiencing the Pain Symptom, the pain itself is put front and center. but personally i also think that the fact this symptom occurs Randomly, Suddenly, and Without Warning is on the same level of "oh god why this" as the pain

in general, not being able to know when your body is going to start working against you really really sucks! you cant prevent it, you cant avoid it, and you cant see it coming. sure you Can prepare for its random eventuality through out the day, which is what luke does by carrying around his painkillers everywhere with him, but even then, that only alleviates the specific instance currently happening and not the overall trend of It'll Happen Again! When? Secret....

it's hugely frustrating. in my case with involuntary movement, eventually i tried to constantly and impossibly try to expect it so that when it does happen, i dont knock over glass to the floor or fall down the stairs

but always trying to expect something you cant predict causes tension and anxiety.

luke's condition is much more severe and painful than my quirk. so keeping a mental background program, so to speak, always running and looking out for a pain episode of his condition must suck bigtime.

because he'll basically always be bracing himself for pain, even when nothing is happening.

and on a metaphorical level, being constantly braced for pain even when things are fine is something luke does A Lot. luke is always worried and preparing for worst case scenarios, luke is always trying to think ahead to have various backup plans to ensure people's safety, and luke seems more used to pain and bad things than he is prepared for happiness and good things.

bracing himself for pain gives luke a semblance of control over something that is terrifyingly out of his control completely. at least if hes always thinking about its inevitability, he'll have things that can help mediate its effects. but the price for that control is a constant tension and dread building inside of him every second, because hes always waiting for the other shoe to drop

-

my ideal hope for luke's story when a kind of treatment for his condition is found

i dont actually want for the condition to be completely cured. like, dont get me wrong, i obviously want the Terminal aspect of his condition treated because i love him and want him to live a long and happy life, but i dont want all of his symptoms gone. personally, i'd find it much more compelling narratively if his condition is treated and will no longer kill him in a few years, but still causes him pain that needs to be managed with meds and other treatments. and why i want this is because:

1 ) given the sheer struggle of his condition in the story thus far AND the fact that luke himself literally said the damage done to his nervous system is Irreversible, having a medical miracle like that happen feels a teensy bit like a deus ex machina to me. (sidenote: ofc, ur free to disagree with me! and feel free to disagree with this whole post in general, we've all got different opinions and thats chill)

2 ) in general with stories, i am less drawn to super neat resolutions and im more drawn to resolutions that are more like "and things werent perfect and they never will be, there will always be problems, but our characters will be okay and theyll keep getting better and better, and it's in this push and pull of struggle and learning and progress and getting through where their happiness lies"

ever since luke was a kid, even before he developed his condition, hes had the fear of being a burden to his loved ones. and when he does get his terminal condition, this fear is worsened and he starts to see his existence in other people's lives as a whole as a burden of pain and grief that isnt worth the trouble. and...i dunno, i just like the idea of him continuing to live but also continuing to have these problems that still spark fear inside of him and still take so much work to manage every day. and out of habit, he braces himself for pain, not just for the kind his condition gives him but from Life because Surely, His Loved Ones Will Get Tired Of All Of This, Of Him and The Problems He Comes With, Right?

but surprise surprise, they dont. because they care about him. because this should not and is not a dealbreaker for them continuing to care about him.

aaron creates treatment thats more on the preventative maintenance meds angle so luke doesnt have to just wait for a pain episode to pop up and then dry swallow painkillers every time. it's not infallible , but sometimes luke can have hours, even a whole a day sometimes where the pain hes bracing himself for doesnt come.

mc always reminds luke to take his meds whenever luke gets too busy or caught up in a case. he worries at first that it's an inconvenience to her for her to have to remember his routines for him just in case, but that worry becomes quieter as luke realizes she reminds him in the same tone as she says "good morning" or "have you had lunch yet? wanna join me?", just this casual and loving thing thats now integrated into both their lives

the team are always ready to help too in their own way. when luke gets a pain episode in hq, marius offers distraction in the form of idle chatter on (harmless) internal pax gossip while luke waits for his painkillers to dull down the stinging. when luke feels uncomfortable tingling crawling across his whole body while out with vyn, vyn subtly helps luke move from a crowded area to a quieter one where outside stimuli cant further overwhelm luke's senses. when it's a bad grip strength day and all luke wants to do is punch something and fuck his useless hands up even more, artem tells luke about custom silicone grips that exist for things like pens or knives or such and that they could look for some next time they go shopping.

it is not perfect. but luke's life, even with the pain, is still worth living. everybody is trying to help and eventually, luke learns how to start helping him self along with them too.

soooo yea theres my thoughts!! thanks for the ask, anon :D

[silvercrane14]

That helps a ton !! Unfortunately im a horror manga fiend so that does cut out a lot ToT

I'll start with some recs that u might have already read and go from there.

For some reason I always group Land of the Lustreous/houseki no kuni with WHA. Theyre not like. similar at all really but I feel like theyre just. in the same group.

LOTL has a really unique style- the mangaka used to illustrate those two-toned high-contrats instruction pamphlets which is where it derives from. At the beginning it kinda feels like a fighting manga but pretty quickly it proves otherwise. Its really beautiful both in art and story, I would highly suggest it.

Why I think you would like it: very interesting characters. Large cast !! VERY compelling plot and lore of the world.

Frieren: Beyond Journeys End - Frieren is an elf who helped a group of adventured defeat the demon king many years prior. As elves are incredibly long-lived and feel little desire to pursue interpersonal relationships, she viewed the years with them originally as just a small blip in her many years of life. One of the members of the party asks her to take Fern, a young child, as an apprentice as he (being human) is old and will not live long enough to do so himself. She agrees and does so. She also begins to realize that she does care for the rest of the group, and regrets not adequately spending her time with them. Explores character and regret.

Why I thunk you would like it: Similar to WHA in its fantasy aspects, and very character-driven. Both the manga and the anime are beautiful. Tragic relationships (bittersweet)

Dungeon Meshi - I dont. think I really gotta explain this one but maybe im speaking from bias bcs my dash is filled with it lmao. I couldnt do it justice explaining so look up a summary if u dont know 👍 sorry im a little tired (writing this out of order so this is like my seventh one)

Why I think you would like it: Fantasy aspects similar to WHA. The characters have very strong. character. and the art is BEAUTIFUL. Very enjoyable way to portray many species' in a story

The Horizon - two children find themselves stranded in the midst of a war. Having nowhere to go, they decide start walking down a road, towards the horizon

is a manhwa but it has the same page-style b&w format as a manga. Also nite that while it does take place during a war, its not like. A War Manga about fighting or anything. its Really Sad and if u decide to read it and have any triggers or sensitivities to certain things lmk and I can give u some warnings. ITS REALLY GOOD THO. I say sad because. it is. but its also kinda bittersweet. It'll make you cry but at the same time.

Why I think you would like it: Looks into how the characters deal with the loss of their normal lives, how experiences change people, and goes deeply into each character relationship.

!!! I really appreciate these, so sorry for answering these like two days late oops. Anyway

Land of the Lustrous I've heard of but I've never actually read! So I might look into it ^^

Frieren and Dungeon Meshi I've read, although admittedly I didn't finish Frieren (forgor) so I might pick that up again,,,

The Horizon sounds really good!!! I love bittersweet stories,,, I'll check it out!!!

[perpetually-sad-but-its-fine]

chicago pd 10x10

TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE/SEXUAL ASSULT. ITS NOT AT ALL MENTIONED IN THIS REVIEW BUT IS VERY MUCH PRESENT IN THE EPISODE. PLEASE PROCEED CAREFULLY

alright

this is a nice start

poor torres looks so lost

what in the actual hell is this story tho

adam checking up on torres is peak big brother behavior

‘how’re you getting home, man? i drove you’

‘uh, there's a thing called uber’

we love torres for that

adam and dante are now besties

im sorry

but i don't make the rules

adam coaching torres is great

i love it

adam further proving that bob ruzek was a shit father is great

we love bob ruzek slander here

oh yay

a call

can't wait to see how this goes

i don't have a good feeling about this

at all

im scared

irrelevant but adam and dante make a good team

watch it be only for this episode and it never happens again

oh shit

what's happening

oh no

ohhhhh noooooo

these poor people

aw dante being so considerate

he’s so kind

i love him

oh this poor poor woman

its not even five minutes in

and im crying

DANTES SO SWEET

SOO SWEETTTT

why can't we ever have a break

oh hailey looks GOOD

god i hate this so much

kim looks *mwah*

KEVINS STYLE

jesus christ im just thirsting over all of them

adam and danteeeee

danteee and kevinnnnn

i don't like this guy

this detective is a dick

i do not like him at all

like

youre worried about solving enough cases to keep your record up

instead of the victims

I DONT LIKE HIM

dante

im in love with you

I DO NOT LIKE THIS DETECTIVE

i wanna stab him

this is fun

i never understand how they can read the license plates from so far away

only thing I can see his blurred blobs

how do they do it

OH MY GOD DANTE SAVED ADAMS LIFE

holy fucking shit

oh no

this keeps getting worse and worse

i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it

no no no no no no no no

come on

oh

guess detective dick is atucally useful

holy fucking shit

nope

still a dick

oh no

detective dickwad

i hate you

with everything I got

like

jump off a fucking cliff

poor dante

guys still a newbie

and dealing with all this bs

dante works so well with all of them

i love it

detective dick is back

i wanna kill you

i also don't believe you

youre dick face

hes getting rid of dante cuz he did something

i know it

oh i wanna see how this goes

dante hurry it up

come on

i don't want detective dick to come back

i don't believe his statement

at all

detective dick threatened him

i know it

dante would be a great detective

i want him to be one

FUCKING DETECTIVE DICK

ILL KILL YOU

I WANT TO CARVE HIS EYES OUT

ILL DO IT

dante looks like hes about punch him

i don't blame him

also

i love the way Kev says ‘chicago pd’ before slamming the door

YES

MY BABY

DANTE YOURE SO GOOD

YOURE FUCKING PERFECT

AND DETECTIVE DICK

DONT EVEN LOOK AT MY BABY

shut the fuck up asshole

nobody likes you

trudyyyy

YES 

TRUDY AND DANTEEE

I LOVE TO SEE ITTTT

god

i love how everyones looking out for torres

hes the baby of the unit

and everyones taking care of him

you don't understand

I LOVE IT

this interrogation is interesting

im curious to see where it goes

kev looking at torres

hes concerned for his baby brother

GET OUT OF THE WAY DETECTIVE DICK

HE WOULD HAVE ANSWERED

YOU FUCKIN IDIOT

WHATS WRONG WITH YOU

COME ON

kevvv

my sweet baby

please

i love you so much

take care of torres

shut the fuck up man

this is your fault

torres

what're you going to do

adam and torres

again

i love my babies

what did he find

oop

what's gonna happen

please adam

support him

plEASE

LISTEN TO HIMM

oh no

come on

chicago pd writers

the fuck are you doing

please don't destroy their potential friendship 

i need this more than you understand

where's this going

thank you adam

YES

‘before WE doing anything at all’

I LOVE THEIR PARTNERSHIP

poor larry

dudes just trying to do his job

and then ruzek comes along

i wanna know what happenssss

adam

just play the goddamn video

lets seeeeee

fucking detective dick

i hope you rot in hell

ooooo

the witnessss

we’re backkkkk

oh this poor guy

FUCKS SAKE

I KNEW IT

detective dick

i will MURDER you

i feel so bad for alex

this guy didn't ask for any of this

AGHHHHHH

I DONT LIKE THIS

I WANT TO K I L L HIM

oh how's this gonna go

god i don't like either of these options

IM GONNA CRY

adam and dante heart to heart

we love to see it

how're they gonna explain this to voight

real smart ruzek

voight humouring them is great

he knows what's happening

and he doesn't want to question it

we love it

oh mY GOD

THIS IS REALLY

oH MY GOD

whAT

i lowkey want voight to find out about what's happening

he’ll somehow make this better and worse

we’ll see

EVERYTIME I SEE HAILEY I DROOL AND THEN I CRY FOR HER

oh no

NOOOOOO

COME ONNNN

ITS HAPPENING AGAIN

THAT POOR WOMAN

hailey looks great

detective dick is gonna do something stupid, isn't he?

he will

i can feel it

i'll slap him

TORRES

SAVE THE DAY

PLEASE

if detective dick ruins this, ill riot

i will

NO

I CANT HANDLE THIS

PLEASE

I WANT THIS TO BE OVER

dick

don't ruin this

torres wait

he might have a better idea

comE ON

TORRES

oh this actually worked

maybe i don't hate you as much anymore dick

maybe you aren't terrible

i change my min

you are extremely terrible

OOP

FIGHT

FIGHT

FIGHTTTT

TORRES

BEAT HIS ASS

YOU COME NEAR MY BABY

I WILL MAKE YOU BEG AND SCREAM FOR MERCY

voight

do something

bro

torres

youre awakening something in me

thaT VOICe

AGH

OH MY GOD

PLEASE

‘this is why i became a cop’

sir please

im not strong enough

voight looks so proud

ruzek and torres

again

in a bar

oh no

poor dante

im so sorry

ugh

i hate detective dick

with every fiber of my being

oh no

‘i just became apart of the blue wall’

oh poor poor dante

adam doing his best

hes so nic

trying to advise dante 

god I miss season one Adam

he was so innocent and carefree

and now look at him

trying to convince the newbie that everything's okay

god

im not strong enough for the next episode

im really not

[digitalcarcrash]

For someone who has seen your Passenger posts and is starting to have their interest piqued, but who knows very little about the movie and is also a bit of a weenie, how would you give, I dunno, I guess a summary? of the movie? A cliffsnotes "this is what it's about, this is why I like it, these are some things I'd warn about" type thing.

ooooough all good questions. warning you have opened the floodgates i am about to ramble for a prolonged period of time. i'll divide all this up tho so you know at what point im talking about What

SUMMARY: the passenger tells the story of this guy named randy, who is. very antisocial and just generally very Meek? if that's the right word? and one day he goes to work, and after being harassed by one of his coworkers, benson(another one of randy's coworkers) decides that enough is enough, and kills all the restaurant's' employees, Except for randy. the movie then tells the story of what follows the killings, i dont wanna spoil too much but Essentially benson looks randy dead in the eye and is like "i can fix him" and then that's just. most of the movie. benson trying to fix randy. they just drive around a lot doing things and visiting people from randy's life

WARNINGS: if you're sensitive to gore you don't Really have to worry, this isn't a very gruesome movie whatsoever, i actually consider it to be relatively tame. the worst of it happens in like. the first 20 minutes of the movie and things really chill out from there. general trigger warning though there is lots of gun violence, as well as implied csa. i think that's it. if i'm forgetting something i am so sorry

WHY I LIKE IT: i personally like this movie for a Whole number of reasons. for starters, just to get The Weird One out of the way first, i am very very into movies about bdsm. and i think the dynamic between randy and benson does toe into the waters of being a kind of unspoken dom/sub type dynamic. the queerness of this movie is also something that really draws me in, ive always always always had a think for movies and media in general that don't feature Explicit queer rep but that Does have queer subtext. i also am just generally a bit of a horror slut lmao i love me a good ole spooky movie. even though the passenger doesn't really feel like a horror movie to me, but that's Technically what its classified as so idgaf ill call it horror. also kyle gallner is hot as fuck and i need to see him and johnny berchtold kiss on the mouth sloppy style

hope this was helpful lol

[slowdripsunrise]

ok more book talk. about to go to work and i need something to do for like 20 mins so. book talk. spoilers for various books under the cut

pretty sure the last book i ended on was the ghost bride, so next up i read Silver Under Nightfal by Rin Chupeco ! tbh. it was fun it was entertaining dont remember much from it other than vampire sex and . actually yeah political intrigue and plagues but mostly vampire sex. read through the audio book pretty quickly i had a good time i just really im sorry but i couldnt get over the fact that the mcs name is remy like. the rat. and thats on my thats my bad but yeah. i do have the second one and i am planning on reading that i dont have my hopes up for more than like. a little bit of plot and a Lot of vampire sex which is fine like the bits of plot i did get were interesting enough to keep me with it so. thumbs up from me :)

next i read The Binding by Bridget Collins, which. who boy that was a ride and a half. definitely 100% enjoyed it would recommend! I did read this a long time ago so a lot of it is lost to me but i remember absolutely devouring that book like easily. if you do want to read it tho, i would recommend going in knowing as little as possible; about halfway ish i think it takes a total 180 turn and just. puts you on a lil rollercoaster ride it was good. look at trigger warnings though! there are a lot of explicit discussions of heavy topics so do read those first.

after that i read Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang, a collection of sci fi short stories that I enjoyed..... quite a bit? dont remember many of them, and to me i feel like this collection was wayyyy overhyped and i didnt enjoy it as much as i could have tbh. overall if you like sci fi i would recommend and there were some interesting conversations brought up throughout, so i do think it's worthwhile, i just didn't like it as much as i thought i would.

after that i read The Six Deaths of the Saint by Alix E. Harrow, a very short novella that like kinda destroyed me a little bit. like the love story was so lovely and felt genuine even in such a short amount of pages, and it's something i would go back and read again and again. 10/10 would recommend i read this in one sitting at like midnight and i think it changed my brain chemistry just a little bit

then i read Flux by Jinwoo Chong, and i really dont have much to say about it. it could have been a me thing where i wasnt in the mood for this story but i did not connect to any of the characters at all and i was confused pretty much the entire time. its one of those time travel things were like. a crime has happened and they start from the beginning before the crime but also after looking back on it and like the mc is supposedly in a simulation but neither he or the reader can tell if/when he is or not but like. yeah i just didnt vibe with it.

then i read Sorrowland by Rivers Solomon, my first book of theirs ! i thought the concept was really cool and i cared about a lot of the characters, not much has stayed with me since i read it but i am excited to read more of Solomon's work! also the romance was sweet and cute or whatever.....

after that i read Chain-Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah!!! oooohhh this book was good. this book was so fucking good it messed me up by the end of it. and I did appreciate the footnotes adding details about both the world/time the book is set in and about their technology, but also about the prison system as it is today. and ohhh the two fmcs and their relationship was so lovely to read about, how they knew each other and cared for each other so well just. AUHDJNS. yeah. 10/10 loved and i'm excited to see more from this author

last one for this post unless i really wanna push it for work, i read the first two books in the Between Earth and Sky series by Rebecca Roanhorse! also very good 10/10 im very interested to see where it goes especially with Serapio and his whole godliness shtick, the magic and worldbuilding was super interesting and i am frothing at the mouth for the third i know its out but like i also want the audiobook and i havent seen if there is one yet but like i need to listen to it ok its just not the same without it.

ok thats it theres still more but i need to stop myself, almost gotten through it. i havent read as much recently ive been a knitting warrior but looking to get back into it more soon !

[darkartistyt]

welcome back to atticus explaining shit that no one asked about! our subject today: theodore sanchez

i need to infodump about my son okay

cw: mentions of child death and undeath, slight body horror (i think? im not entirely sure what to classify it as tbh)

i wont go into excruciating detail about any of this, but i figured i should give a warning regardless

i dont remember if ive ever posted art of him on tumblr but those whove seen my artfight profile may have seen this boyo before

have you ever wondered, "hey atticus, what the hell is up with the scar? like half his face is missing!" well it all has to do with my boy's duterogonist tragic backstory (tm)

born theodore maddison, theo lived through a happy early childhood. his parents, while not terribly wealthy, still had plenty of money at their disposal and had no issues spoiling the kid. he had no siblings, but he got along well with his classmates and had plenty of friends.

one summer, when he was just about to turn seven, him and his parents got into a car wreck in which none of them survived. however, theo was destined to become a member of the Great Prophecy, so obviously he couldnt stay dead forever, and who better to revive him than the magical embodiment of death itself?

reaper (the magic he was destined to obtain) suddenly becomes aware that its destined user has perished and rushes to see if it can fix things. unfortunately, it realised what had happened and where they were buried way too late, so the souls of his parents had already deteriorated and their spirits moved on. and theo, being a small child and thus having a stronger soul, was close enough to complete death that reaper had to act fast. it worked, but at the cost of his soul being fractured

reaper also teleported his body above ground and held him close to try to keep him warm while he slowly woke up

theo had no idea what the hell just happened. all he knew was that he was weak, freezing, kinda hungry, and in the arms of some kind of magical entity. he was certainly afraid, but he was too exhausted to panic. reaper was still able to sense it and, via telepathy, tried to assure him that everything was going to be okay

...yeah emphasis on tried because things were certainly not okay. for one, while reaper did what it could to heal his physical injuries sustained from the crash, it was unable to completely heal the side of his face that had gotten practically torn off, and the incomplete healing left him with a huge scar and some exposed bone, though it was able to restore his eye. in fact, a lot of the spells reaper tried to cast were unable to be completed because of the soul issue. if it were to push too much, it could accidentally break it further, which would render the revival process null. secondly, as the duo came to learn, a fractured soul does a lot worse than fuck with spells used on the person; theo will occasionally be hit with spells of dizziness, his body will become extremely cold, and he'll lose the ability to breath all at the same time. thankfully, reaper is able to keep the poor kid from re-dying, and they eventually learned that this stuff is often triggered by extreme stress or a magic overpower

over the coming years, the two grew closer, reaper being theo's sole protector. it also tried to fix the soul issue, but to no avail, so instead it made a promise that as soon as hes ready to accept it as his magic, it will do everything in its power to protect him. (it was going to do that anyway tho but it figured it would be more successful acting as an internal force than an external one)

little baby theo lived on the streets for a while, not knowing how to get back home and eventually giving up. reaper acted as his mentor, teaching him what was edible and what wasnt, how to avoid people, how to use shapeshifting to hide the scar, and how to steal food without getting caught. he didnt last long before being spotted and sent to an orphanage, however

a few years later, when he was 12, he was adopted by ash's family. from them, he met new friends like lucas and his soon-to-be boyfriend ray as well as their older sisters, callie and dee-dee. callie was the first to realise he was also a prophecy member, though that didnt happen until he was 15

around that time, dee-dee and callie would get in fights a lot, most often with callie initiating them. theo, trusting dee-dee over callie, sided with her in pretty much any dispute, especially if it was Prophecy-related. during one of their fights, callie tried to hit dee-dee with magic and missed in a fit of rage, accidentally hitting theo right in his eye instead. she ended up completely burning it, to the point that reaper was unable to salvage it at the time

so now theo's half-blind, though he managed to work out an arrangement with reaper to grant it the ability to see out of its replacement for the eye so long as theo keeps control over its movements and reaper sends him information about what it sees when needed

another neat little thing is that the symbol in the eye changes based on his emotions. the default is an "x" because theo said so (pirate special interest go brrrrrrr)

[somewhattired]

killing stalking? more like koogipleaseletmerestbeforeyoucontinuetomakethispoorchildsuffermoreemotionalandphysicaltrauma stalking, amirite???

(koogi why)

[tweevilz-a]

Anyway I love the tweevils w all my heart

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

im sorry if this is hard to answer but i was anorexic for nearly four years before... idk my life got good enough that i decided recovery was worth it. im in a really good place right now.

im a trans guy with unsupportive parents tho, and they decided to send me to an all girls private catholic school next year. i know a trans guy who goes there and he relapsed this year and its so toxic there thar he had to transfer out.

i know i cant handle this place, nor can i change my parents mind, so how do i minimize the damage next year? how do i get through this alive? what can i do to stay as healthy as possible while in relapse? i need to prepare to be as healthy as i can. and pls none of the bullshit like ’talk to a friend’ or ’just eat’ it. it does not help.

thanks so much, you dont have to reply if you dont want to, im just so fucking scared because i have 4 more months of being recovered at best and i dont want to go back.

Oh man. That is a really tough situation you're in. I'm so sorry to hear that your parents don't want to put you in a supportive environment.

Is there anything you can control about the situation? For example, does the school offer uniform pants? I know a lot of religious schools have traditionally only offered skirts for AFAB students, but a lot of them have been shifting to offering pants as a part of the uniform. Do you have any flexibility with shoe choice and hairstyle? You could also opt to size up with your shirt choice and to pair it with sports bras, which tend to minimize breast size if that is a dysphoria trigger for you. I know that consistent binding is not safe, but if you can get a proper binder, perhaps you can wear it safely during school hours to feel a little more in-control in that environment. Idk if it'd be worth it to risk punishment by cutting your own hair or adopting a gender-neutral nickname, but perhaps you could give yourself a pixie cut that looks neutral and feels less traditionally "girly" if you haven't already.

If you can't get the control of your outfit that you need, perhaps I could help find recommendations of social media accounts of men, both cis and trans, who wear skirts and/or do things that aren't traditionally "masculine." Just to help you keep affirming to yourself that clothes don't necessarily make a man a man, and if a man wears a skirt then it's a man's skirt. Consuming this content might help you feel less alone this school year.

This friend might be able to be a resource to you by warning you about what was hardest to handle about this school environment/what you can avoid vs. what you can seek out. If they have a theater department and you're allowed extracurriculars, I'd suggest you join that for the camaraderie. In my experience, a lot of closeted queer kids group together in theater.

I wasn't trans, but I was a neurodivergent kid who didn't quite "fit in" and I can say that I often took my lunch to the school library rather than trying to find cafeteria seating with people I didn't know well. You might find comfort in books like I did, or spend time writing for yourself. (You might want to destroy some of your writings as I did in order to avoid the repercussions of snooping parents, but even the act can be so, so therapeutic and self-affirming.) Outside of school, if you can manage to peruse/buy queer books and sneak them into school, you might have some good solidarity reads to get you through that environment. You could even just memorize your most affirming quotes and write them/draw art/print out pics of fave trans icons and decorate the insides of your binders and notebooks with them. Just find what affirms you and do it as much as you possibly can.

I think that finding trans-affirming activity you can do, even under the radar, will be key in maintaining both your mental health and your bodily self-esteem. That's one of the reasons I recommended taking your lunch to the library or to find another space that feels safe. It might be easier to eat, and to perform the mental self-care necessary for semi-healthy eating patterns, if you are in a safe space, even if that safe space has to be self-created. You could try internally repeating the following affirmations at school, especially before and during eating:

"The clothes I am wearing are a man's clothes, because I am a man and I'm wearing them."

"Toxic peoples' perception of me does not determine who I am. I know who I am and I know my worth."

"I will not be here forever. There have been so many queer icons who've been where I am and blossomed after. There is life after high school."

"It's not right that this time has been taken from me, but there will be better times in the future and I deserve them."

"Feeling bad doesn't mean I don't deserve to eat. Actualizing my negative body feelings will only make them worse. I deserve to feel good in my body."

"I can invest in my future. I will invest in my future."

This may be the subject of another post, but what is your relationship to religion? You may be just needing to get out entirely, which is valid, but you should also know that there are queer-affirming pastors and churches out there. If you are stuck in an environment where prayer and religious study is enforced and required, I might be able to recommend some sources that could give you covertly affirming prayers to focus on during that time. However, if you just need out of religion entirely, which some religion-traumatized people do, the above affirmations are religion-neutral and you could try to focus on those during prayer times.

It may feel affirming to focus on your future, OP. One of these days you will be out of school and will have control over yourself and financial freedom too. It might be worth looking into starting points in your area. Investing in your future may help you feel like there is something to keep fighting for, and like investing in your wellness has worth. It is self-affirming to invest in your future because you are sending the message to yourself that you are worthy of having a good future and that you are strong enough to fight for it.

Please feel free to follow up and be in touch for more support. I care about your well-being and I'm sure there are others out there who've been through things like this and can offer support. And while I'm not trans myself, I have other followers who are, and to other followers - I would love to get your input on things that can help this guy! Perhaps you can just be in touch with him and offer companionship and solidarity.

[florenceisfalling]

ok wait i gotta ask bc i got like,, a real tiny mushy pea brain but do u have some kind of masterpost for ur ocs and stuff? i wanna learn abt them but im unsure where to start kinda thing !!

hey anon sorry this took me forever! you do not have a tiny mushy pea brain, and even if you did peas are yummy. not that your brain is yummy, though i bet its scrumptious. we at florenceisfalling dot tumblr dot com advocate for cannibalism ^_^

anyway!

i am so honored u asked and again im sorry ive taken foreverrrrr. but the best place to start right now is the website im currently working on :D

the website includes trigger warnings for everything !!!

i am an insane person and have been doing it all via carrd pages even tho thats a horrible idea.

it's a work in progress still, but the most complicated one (love and war) is nearly done! i just need to add the raiders and farmers to the people tab, and draw icons. its best viewed on desktop! my favorite part is that on places, theres an actual map, and you can click on the labels to learn more about the place - i recommend following the trail from the cabin, it tells some of the story.

i also have kiddo! basically complete, except for the image refs (theyre just picrews for now).

however i still have yet to add the other stories so here's a tl;dr for those :"D

extra-normal: almost everyone has a third eye on their forehead which allows them to see into a physical manifestation of their mind called the "second sight." vonnie is a nurse who works in a hospital ward dedicated to third eye injuries, and is particularly attached to a patient named avalon who is blinded and trapped in her second sight. she also works with a few regular volunteers, a trio of young friends (or perhaps lovers???) - daisy, who has no third eye; august, who is blinded in one of his normal eyes and thus has hallucinations and seizures related to his second sight; and tripp, who believes she's able to see into other people's minds.

living dead: the plot on this one is still not really my focus right now. theres a cool tv head oc named jacob, though. and a currently unnamed mad scientist.

pressed flowers: currently remaking this whole concept so anything ive posted here before is pretty much outdated!! now the story is this: theodora and oliver were childhood sweethearts, until teddie washed up dead on the beach. oliver still saw her ghost for a few years, but now that he's grown up and finally healing and dating a new girl named jessica - teddie shows up again and reveals that she was actually murdered. and the killer is on the loose, hunting again.

the mermaid's blade: this one i'm not gonna go into because i'm literally gonna try and film a lot of it next semester so y'all will hopefully be seeing it in that format soon enough 👁👁

you can find all of my story and character tags, as well as my general oc tag on my navigation page! however ive been posting for a long time abt these guys and the stories have all changed a lot so like.. dont trust the posts the further you scroll back lol

ty again for asking sorry my shit is so longwinded and complicated >_< lemme know if u have any questions or want more info on a specific story!

[noeggets]

Scourge? Thoughts on his character or how would you interpret him in your canon?

okay well in my canon which i call our canon (me and @ssxdz2 i tag her because its more of her scourge i just use him every headcanon comes from how she interprets him in our world)

Scourge is not Sonic im not gonna go into Sonics family in Scourge i will if anyone ask about Aleena but sense this is Scourge i will go into everything that matters on his part

Scourge is the first child of Aleena and Dash (Dash is like a country boy who she met when they were children playing with Bernie she met Dash and his best friend Mighty's dad who i dont remember his name right now) there is a story there about Mighty's dad but i wont go into it cause this isn't about Mighty or his family

Aleena has super speed Dash has super speed so Scourge is gonna be a product of that

i don't remember why she had to leave him with Dash cause she took Sonia Manic and Sonic with her (and lost her children cause this ain't sonic underground Chuck took Sonic with him back to knothole / island place and she took care of Manic and Sonia until she had to leave to go to the hedgehog - echidna war and help out AGAIN im not getting way into this because this isn't about her but thats some backstory)

she did have to leave him with her husband anyway Dash didn't really know how to take care of him he took care of him wrong causing him to hate him more so he gave his son to a temporary new family planing on going back to get him but forgot about him

the new family wasn't a good family and i don't think they really cared about him so he hates his dad and his new family

Scourge grew up in station square where he met up with Manic and Sonia sometime in his life he knows Manic and Sonia are his siblings cause he saw them as babies he doesn't really care or talk to them much at this point in his life but does ask for help from them when he really needs it (Sonia gets dragged into the whole BuT wE'rE fAmiLy act everytime)

//Trigger warning Drug Abuse//

Scourge and Manic are drug buddies Manic makes money by being a dealer Scourge will again use the family status to sway him to give him some but if it doesn't work he will threaten him if Manic is feeling brave enough to refuse

//End//

Sonia believes him to be a good for nothing not bothering to check in on him because hes probably always up to nothing good she tells Manic to stop interacting with him cause his bad will rub off on him

Scourge and Rouge are really close friends like almost definition best friends she lets him hide in her house (her secret house before she was part of G.U.N) when hes on the run they enjoy almost the same things theft included i think they almost were together but Rouge was like nahh thats my bestie

The only reason they met is because they both lived in station square i don't know how they met but they met and that duo is one of my favorite things about him

they are still friends Rouge is just a little busier nowadays but she visits him sometimes they still a duo she talks to him about her love life hes that kind of friend

Scourge and Sonic's first meeting was like a puppy meeting a dog for the first time Sonic didnt even know he had family outside of Uncle Chuck Sonic was eager to meet him and get to know him when they moved to station square from the island sonic soon found out Scourge is hard to deal with and makes really non-heroic life choices but they continue to be on good terms enough to chill together always Sonic really cares about him Scourge really cares about Sonic he nicknames him Blue but calls him that and only that all the time

Scourge hates his dad he wont even call him his dad or dad at all it is his life wish for his parents to separate he really loves his real mother and aunt tho

(Aleena and Aunt Bernadette who he affectionately refers to as Ma and Auntie ) Bernie spoils him and gives him his favorite food her home made lemon squares he ate so many he got fat once

Scourge is a player we know this everybody knows this but he kinda really likes Bunnie i think he keeps trying to sway her every chance he gets

Scourge also was with Fiona when he lived in station square she left the island Sonic and Tails lived on in the orphanage when i think Eggman took her but she escaped him and became friends with him never saying a thing about her past to him fearing he wont understand yet felt okay enough to form a relationship with him that was not the best for her mental health due to him cheating all the time

(IDW era) Scourge currently lives with Fiona and her new boyfriend (Lightning Lynx) alongside the Destructix he lives a calmer more relaxed life now his team who hes not the leader of anymore (Fiona is) he does a little good now and then but is ultimately still a trouble maker

He made friends with Mighty who introduced him to Ray he is a bad influence on Mighty but Mighty seems to not change from it at all

Scourge is the first child i said before i don't think he ever uses his status against his siblings

Scourge 18 | Sonia 16 | Sonic 15 | Manic 14 Sonic DX Era

Scourge 22 | Sonia 20 | Sonic 19 | Manic 18 start of forces

everybody kinda lost their minds in forces so i cant talk further on that until our written what happened in forces document is recovered so i can tell you what he did

Over all her Scourge is a funny little dude who makes wise cracks and i like her ver of Scourge who is like the guy who makes fun of everyone in the room

[a-very-tired-raven]

EEEEEEE so I've been in a writing mood as of late and I needed some help for a writing prompt. One of my best Tumblr friends(@let-love-run-red go check her out!!! She writes amazing garcello fics and headcanons and is a big inspiration for me!!)helped me out! This'll be a lil angsty sorry not sorry lol

•Nothing to lose•

(Trigger warnings!:Mentions of abuse,death,homelessness, multiple past abusive relationships,and bad cigarette habbits!)

You burst out laughing for what seemed to be the 10th time day as your buddy Garcello told yet another joke. "Seriously tho cello! That one was terrible! " He shot you a wink "heh your smiling though." You tried to wipe the smirk off your face. Unsuccessfully. "Am not" you playfully swatted his arm. He just shrugs "Whatever helps you sleep at night kid."

You roll your eyes, "Hey I'm not the one wearing a long sleeved coat and Jeans in the middle of summer" You sent a playful glare. "Your absolutely nuts!" He returns your glare. "Hey at least I'm not the one who's only clothes are T-shirts,shorts and Hoodies! All you ever wear are T-shirts and shorts. Your the crazy one. I don't see how you don't ever get cold"

You smile softy as you see the way he talks with his hands moving everywhere while he rants. I mean.. you do too its just nice to see someone else not pick on you for that. Its... nice to have someone who doesn't judge you for who you are whatsoever. It's been hard,taking care of three siblings all by yourself. Most would shy aways and call you crazy weird,disgusting,freak you've heard it all. Garcello...

Garcello was different.

"Y/n?"

You snap your head up effectively cutting off your somewhat depressing thoughts. "Hm?" You look over. "Are you alright? Ya kinda zoned out on me. I mean I know I can be boring at times but I didn't know I was a snooze fest" Besides his joking banter he has a face full of worry, Beautiful golden eyes scanning your face as if searching for the answer to a murder mystery.

"Nahh your not that boring. Promise. And..yeah I'm fine. Just kinda spaced out y'know?" He nods his head in agreement. You both slow to a stop. He chuckles a bit and turns to you. "Yeah yeah I know, it's just... I recognize that look, Y/N. Believe me I do.. im sorry to be a buzz kill but.. you know you can talk to me. About anything right?" You give that soft and kind smile that melts his heart every rare occasion he gets to see it. You never smile enough..

Sure there's the joking but... genuine smiles,ones that don't cover a dark and rough interior. He knows first hand what that feels like. So.. he tries. He's tries all he can to get you to smile that genuine smile as often as can be. For both your sakes.

"I know garcy. And thank you. Glad to know it still stands." You give him a quick hug that immediately makes his cheeks warm. He's really thankful for the shade his cap gives his face right about now. "I'll see you later alright? And tell Annie I said hey!" "Alrighty will do! And get some rest tonight okay? Cya." You nod a okay and walk inside your apartment.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------You stare holes into the ceiling. Past memories flash through your mind. Your mother, and father. You were disgusted to call them that. Helping and raising your siblings. Her...death.. being homeless..heh something both you and garcello share in common. Picking up your smoking habbit.. heh another thing. Meeting him.. These past few months.

Its been hard...but its been good. You have a roof over your head. Your four siblings are okay. You haven't seen your older brother in a while but he gave you a call. You have food, water,and.. Garcello and Annie. A smile works its was on your face.

I'm glad I met him' a soft smile works its way onto your face until you realize you thought just garcello and not both him and his sister. YES you love them both- like a family-its not like that- ugh why does thoughts have to be complicated!! You roll over,you have to get to sleep. Garcello told you to! And he said he wanted to meet up for something again. You slowly drift off.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Garcello was antsy the whole walk to the park;the place you two agreed to meet. His face was a mad red. He had your favorite flowers and your favorite candy! Reeces pieces and snickers. He's never done anything like this before. Confessing he means. Sure he's asked a few chick's out but... Nobody important or someone he cares about, nobody like you. You changed his entire life in just the few months he's knew you.. He hopes you'll say yes. then again.. his hopes are all the way up.. who'd wanna date guy like him?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You look up from your phone to see garcello approaching you. He's very...stressed? No... anxious? Yes Anxious for lack of a better work. With his hands behind his back...Hmmm....

"Hey cello, whatcha got there? You got murder on your mind?" You give a teasing smirk. He just immediately freezes. "I-um-uhm. No. I uh got ya somethin' if that's alright?" He very stiffly sits in front of you. He's sweating bullets. Geeze what's got him this worked up.. "Dang cello with how your acting Ida thought you were askin' me out" you give a light chuckle. He freezes completely.

"Heh uh yeah heh...um..here..you go.. I bought these. For you.. Noone else. Heh" He awkwardly places a two boxes of your favorite candy and holds out a large boutique of your favorite flowers. You freeze completely, mouth hanging open in shock."Y/N...I've liked you for a while now.. your so nice and thoughtful...and you understand me. I was maybe hoping you'd go on a date? With me?" His face is cherry red.

What. He can't be serious? Really he can't. Nobody would ever like you that. Yes you love him.. but you can't afford to love him. Caring gets you hurt. And being vulnerable gets you killed mentally as well as physically You've long sense learned this from your past three relationships

"Are you serious?..Garcello... I cant.. I can't accept this.."

Your heart sinks as you watch the hope glittering off his eyes dim

"Of course I am! Y/N I love you..." Your both standing up at this point. Your both shaking.

"And garcello... I know-i know but please-i just cant!"

"At least tell me why? Am I not enough? I thought... maybe you'd understand.." He drops the boutique. He..he knew it..your too good for him...He really does disappoint everyone..

"Garcello I just cant!can't"! You don't notice the tears spilling down your face at this point.

"But why! I love you! I really do! You mean so much to me!" You take a step back.

"Just stop! don't do that to me Garcello! Dont give me hope! Never ever give me something I want, something I want as bad as you!"

"Why" he's pleading with you so hard..please...just tell him..

"BECAUSE THEN I HAVE SOMETHING TO LOSE!" You hadn't ment to scream. Your fists are clenched and eyes shut tight, you feel as if you might collapse at any moment. Garcello's stunned into silence. "And then I'll be open to get hurt... and I just.." You let out a broken sob. "I'm just so tired of being hurt" you don't move as he engulfs you into a hug.

"And as much as I love you too.. I can't risk being vulnerable again... raising 3 siblings and protecting them so at least they can have a good childhood while you haven't even had on yourself..." You don't notice tears of his own dropping on your shirt. "Being backstabbed and left broken with Noone to fix you...I just can't do it again..." He let's out a broken whisper. "I know Y/N.. I know more than you ever will."

Your just left there hugging in silence. You've decided. You can talk it out because as you were too blind by fear. Fear of being hurt again... he's just like you,two broken puzzle pieces that fit together.

Hope yall like it! Promt idea goes to @let-love-run-red ! Go follow and check her out!

I accept any and all constructive criticism!,