#dont judge okay i wrote this idk when

[the-fo0l]

Spencer Reid x gn!reader hcs

Notes: lotta spencer content has him as an asshole, pregnancy, angst, smut, insecure reader...so here's some classic fluff

Warnings: fluff!, earlier seasons reid +he's kind of a simp (and a bit subby ;))

the way his eyes just absolutely light up whenever he sees you <3

the man's a total genius, but only in the book-smart way, socially, he's a little...stunted

he's very much not used to any proper form of love, so you're gonna have to be a bit patient with him while he gets used to it

but believe me he is trying his very best cause he does not want to dissapoint you

at first he thought your love of his rambles was just a way to make fun of him

but since you seem to actually like listening to him talk, he'll take the opportunity to ramble to you about anything and everything on his mind

which the team appreciates, he has an outlet to rant to, someone to attend his geeky events with, and most importantly, someone reliable to support him

(they are still annoyed when he's constantly on the phone with you, meanwhile there's an active crime scene a few meters away)

before you two started dating he probably already considered you his best friend who he totally neverrrr had a crush on (sarcasm)

he was blushing, stuttering, jittery mess when he asked if he may be your boyfriend

and yes, that's how politely he asked

or at least he tried to, you had to cut off his blabbering with a "yes"

how could you ever say no to such a charming, lovable, polite young man

plus yk...he's cute as hell

the type to go out of his way to wake up early to make your coffee and breakfast just the way you like

wearing matching rings, either with each other's initials or some nerdy inside joke

he absorbedly teases the ring on his finger when he misses you

whenever someone mentions you he gets visibly more engaded in the conversation, and the team teases him like crazy for it

like, sometimes the crew'll pretend to be talking about you and watch how reid immediatly perks up from whatever file he was buried in and turns to look where the he heard your name be spoken. and he falls for it every. fucking. time

gushes to you about any new interesting books, reseach, interesting statistics, facts, events etc

in a similar vein, he'll get caught in gushing to the gang about how cool and smart and funny his partner is

rizzes you up w magic tricks

but can't handle you flirting with him, he's smiling like an idiot and bashfully looking away, with his face all red

a lot of people say he wouldn't like pda, and i get it, but i think if you've been together long enough and he feels comfortable around you he's not shy about expressing it, verbally or physically

i mean yeah, it's not "all up in your face" pda, it's with smaller affectionate gestures

vents all his thoughts, concerns and emotions out to you, and listens attentively and patiently when you have to vent

falls in love with you all over again listening to you get caught up talking about your interests/opinions

man's capable of easily retaining encyclopedias worth of info, so anything and everything you tell him gets commited to his database of a mind

be it the most insignificant gossip or tiniest detail about your childhood, you best belive he's never forgetting that shit

tries his best to not profile you or try to explain your emotions to you, but really he dosen't need to be told twice when it comes to learing the intricacies of realationship ettiquette

he's never dated anyone before and he's about as nervous as he is excited

deeply fears disappointing you, hates the thought of being a burden to you, so hearing affirmations of your love verbally means a lot

more than anything he needs a solid positive presence to help him deal with his emotions

so if he's had a really bad day, or a rough case, he comes to your front door and just totally breaks down and falls into your arms, crying into your shoulder

if anything traumatic were to happen to him, you're the first person he needs to be there

and if he woke up in a hospital bed he'd immediately start asking for you, rather frantically too

and if the event is traumatic enough, he may become a bit codependent, at least for a week during the recovery process

used to get jittery around you from nerves, now it's from the uncontainable happiness he feels being around you

his kisses are so shy and inexpirenced but also so, so needy and desperate

he'd die if you ever custom made a puzzle or quiz with questions about your relationship, like he'd be so overjoyed, literally would never shut up about it

(he'd nail it ofc)

reid usually isn't one for physical affection, like, not at all

but it's completely the opposite with you, he can't seem to keep himself away

and the guy is starved for touch...or really affection of any kind, so whenever he can, he clings onto any part of you he can

sits on your lap facing you, it's like you guys' favorite relaxing position, it's so intimate

follows you around like a puppy, all giddy and stupid with love

always holds your hand or onto your forearm while walking beside you

cuddles very close, tightly intertwined with you

you'll have to squirm and push while he just pulls himself closer into the crook of your neck

or yk just tickle his sides when he least expects it

reads to you, odds are whatever book it is, he's already read it, dozens of times over if it's a classic or scientific. he very well could just recite it but if there wasn't a book to look at, he'd have to look at you which would make him get distracted and trail off

which you'd, of course, playfully tease him for

in conclusion, you're never allowed to break up with him, i don't make the rules, it's the law

[selfishmachinez]

this request was inspired by someone else who wrote it with Adam but idk I can’t find the post I think they may have deleted it or smthn😔

anyway- reader x Lucifer , Adam, and mammon (romantic, seperately) who plays that “best brother ever ” prank on them in public? i just think it’s really funny😭 if you don’t know what I’m talking about this is what I mean: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLevxYyu/

"BEST BROTHER EVER"

notes: STOPP I SAW THIS ITS SO FUNNY😭 this trend kills me everytime omg

also hours after posting this i realised it was flopping cause i didnt add any tags someone bury me😔

warnings: adam and mammon being themselves (assholes😇); mammon being a bitch (kinda nsfw for him? idk you'll be the judge of that); not proofread

word count: 339

ACTUAL POST UNDER CUT

Lucifer 🍎 —

okay so for all 3 lets say your relationship isnt out to the public yet, but people just kinda figured it out already

poor baby was so clueless😭

i dont think hes very up to date with pranks/trends/all that

THOUGHT YOU WERE FRIENDZONING HIM FOR A SECOND????

"well youre not an angel NOT LIKE THAT youre TECHNICALLY not an angel so we cant really be,, siblings,, BUT im glad you think of me like that i just thought we had more going on???"

if you keep the prank going he'll gen be hurt

you had to sit down and explain the joke to him

all you got out of him was a nervous chuckle and a "oooohhhhhhh..."

give my man some time ok hes old as hell (pun intended) 🧍‍♀️

Adam 🪽 —

first of all how DARE you

hes usually the one pulling the pranks on you

bro was flabbergasted 😭

he gives you that stare he gave lucifer after he said "and now i am going to FUCK you >:)"

second of all he kissed you back ok but when you said THAT???

IN FRONT OF EVERYONE????

"dont say that, you crazy bitch."

"i love you big bro, cmon."

he pushed you after that one ok🥰

after you tell him you were jk he was like "fuck was that for??? you wanna ruin MY reputation???? do you know who i am" bla bla bla

hes not gen mad just a little pissed at best

Mammon 🃏 —

"what?????"

"youre the best big bro ever!"

his reaction is fairly close to adam's imo

except hes not mad and actually plays along

"you into that stupid ass roleplay thingy now, eh?"

shit got heated for a second😨

"nononono ITS A PRANK ITS A PRANK"

"is it now?"

had you genuinely panic

that horny bastard istg!!!!!!!

he saw the trend already so he knows youre just playing

the kiss kinda threw him off tbh, he didnt want your relationship being public yet (cause he outed asmodeus and fizz and didnt wanna be seen as a hypocrite etc)

[monstersinthecosmos]

I have no intention of watching the new IWTV show, but I was wondering why you think Armand's characterization was so bad. I kinda hated how Antonio Banderas played him in the 1994 movie (not on its own, just in comparison to the books - I feel like his personality/demeanor was totally different), so it's sad that they still haven't gotten him right... Judging from pictures alone, I did think the casting for him was more fitting this time. Anyway, just curious to hear your thoughts!

Oh man!!!!!!!!! I do wanna say up front, I think Antonio was NOT A GREAT ARMAND but I like those scenes in the movie so much because they feel SO RICEY to me. Like I LOVE Movie!Armand even though he isn't Book!Armand, and if you read IWTV in good faith it's the only book that doens't harp on Armand looking like a smol uwu cherub so like ! SURE. He definitely still brings the calm nurturing mentor vibe in a huge way and the scenes in his room feel the most like the books to me.

I also know from the director's commentary that they specifically wanted Armand to look like that so that the Europe vampires would feel like OLD WORLD SCARY vs like, another twink lol. So he's got a little more of a tropey Dracula vibe going on and I think like as a visual contrast it works really well.

As far as the show; I think Assad is EXCELLENT. And like the whole fandom was joking even when the credits hit IMDB that it was gonna be Armand because everyone was like "OHH ARRIGHT.. LOUIS'S """""ASSISTANT"""""" OKAY !" so like I was one of the conspiracy theorists looking for clues the whole time. And his MANNERISMS are dead on and gave him away before anything else did. I have zero issue with the actor, I think he's so spooky and a complete smokeshow which Armand DESERVES. And I wish I could like the show for him, I really do! But it's just NOT WORKING FOR ME.

I'll put the rest under a cut cause it got lengthy and I'm not trying to like be a downer on anyone's dashboard but TLDR the show is so completely unrecognizable to me and I think it would've been so much better as an original concept, and personally I'm not excited by randos who share names with the books I read. The show is a hit! People really like it! But idk like showing me these two random ass men and saying "Hey this is Daniel and Armand" doesn't excite me because the story they're showing me actually ISNT Daniel and Armand lol. I'm here for the story!!! I'm not here for Easter Eggs!

Here's my main few gripes with how they wrote Armand which I find mega disappointing:

He spends 6.9/7 episodes pretending to be Louis's assistant named Rashid. WHY! LOL. Why would he do that! DANIEL DOESN'T REMEMBER HIM ANYWAY SO WHY???????? I DONT UNDERSTAND. Like Armand is a weirdo but is he THIS WEIRD? idk. idk.

The show also (in my opinion!) horrifically botched Lestat, but there's like this grain of doubt because the show has a theme of memory being unreliable, so the speculation is that maybe Armand planted a skewed version of events in Louis's head? Even the show runner sort of hinted at this? LIKE I HATE THIS?? Because if we get to S2 and it turns out that Lestat's been misrepresented, it then turns the tables and makes it that ARMAND is the one who's horrifically botched????? Like I'm all for silly Armand jokes and memes and whatever but like. sigh idk i just looked really forward to this show and hoped to see Armand on screen and I didn't really want a meme version of him. ((Also as an aside I really dislike the unreliable memory themes on the show the way they're presented because like the books frame unreliable narration as like interpretive and emotional but the vampire lore canonically is that they have like mega supernatural photographic memory? idk. If memory is faulty because they still have that human fallibility it's one thing unless they're saying Armand planted memories in Louis's head??? idk idk.))

And like speaking towards whether or not Armand is a person who would plant false memories in Louis's head; I concede that he psychically influenced Louis to join him in IWTV but like. ARMAND IS A NUANCED CHARACTER WHO ACTS FROM A PLACE OF NEED AND HURT. And idk it's just so fucking clunky I can't imagine the manipulation taking this type of shape. There's just, to me LOL, a huge difference between the mental nudge of "You are lonely and you need guidance please come with me" and "Lestat was a horrific domestic abuser." And like. idk. Just within the package of the whole rest of the season, this team has the subtlety of dropping a fucking piano so I just have no trust in them to write him with any sense of nuance.

AND THE BIGGEST OFFENSE THAT I'M JUST COMPLETELY DISGUSTED BY IS THAT HE'S A DAYWALKER?????????????????????????????????????????????????

I just hate the daywalking shit so fucking much I can't even start. Like the show changes a lot of the lore which is fine whatever it's their show change lore if you feel like it whatever but like. ARMAND'S ENTIRE LIFE IS THEMATICALLY BOOKENDED BY DARKNESS. He grows up in a CAVE. He lives in a CULT BENEATH A CEMETARY. He tries to KILL HIMSELF by GOING INTO THE SUN.

Like. And he's only 500? That's like adolescent for a vampire LOL.

There were a couple times in the season where they had some continuity errors on the show!lore so I got the vibe that the writers didn't really care about all the VAMPIRE STUFF which is kinda disappointing to me bc I'm a nerd lol but it felt like they used Armand in the sun to just give the audience a red herring and it came across as really cheap to me. So I wouldn't put it past this team to kinda be like DAYWALKING SURE LOL and not really take it seriously or think about the larger picture of how that unfolds for the character over more seasons.

IT'S WHATEVER, I JUST. I know it wouldn't make good television but I like VC because it's like existential dread and consuming darkness, I want it to hurt me, I want it to feel bleak, I want Armand's entire arc to be about how much he struggles with the idea that there's no God. It just feels like if you can make it a few centuries and be able to withstand the sun, what's the fucking point? What sacrifice did you make for being immortal? Especially for a character like Armand who so fully believes himself to be damned and would never want to make another vampire, would never subject even an enemy to it.

Especially bc like in the show the vampires can like ? Smoke? And have sex? And they can eat food (even though it tastes like paste but they can eat food). IF YOU CAN SMOKE AND FUCK AND GO IN THE SUN YOU'RE JUST A GUY. Where's the fucking DAMNATION OF IT ALL? Also what's the fucking point of Those Who Must Be Kept if you can go in the sun lol. I just . Ugh what a clusterfuck.

The show turns vampirism into more of a power fantasy than the way the books treat it as damnation or a symbol of being othered so it doesn't really mesh with like, my idea of VC and what I want out of it.

So Armand being a daywalker = Instant Nope From Me. I'm not interested in whatever they're trying to sell me lol.

A few other things that are NOT confirmed but generally just giving me the ick that I worry about:

I really, really, deeply, truly, hated how they wrote Claudia's character and how they wrote about rape, and that gives me a really bad feeling about how they'd potentially tackle Armand's canon background. The two options are: They don't, and he's a completely different character with a different background, with completely different context for his personality/motivations/etc (in which case who the fuck cares he's just some guy who shares a name with the book I like, and not really Armand), or: They GO THERE and it's just extremely heavy handed and insensitive and not fun to watch. I think show!Claudia maybe has more in common with Armand than book!Claudia because they aged her up to be a teenager so it's just, yikes. THEN AGAIN ARMAND IS NO LONGER A TEENAGER ON THE SHOW?

And to that point like. I don't need a bunch of fucking conservatives getting in my face about how I want to see a teenager sexualized because that's not the point; logistically for TV it makes sense that he's older, but again, it changes his backstory so much. imho, Armand being turned as a teenager and looking like a teenager is a huge element of his character! It's important! It just is! And I'm sorry that the show decided that the vampires could have sex, because they invented this problem for themselves! If they kept the canon lore you wouldn't have to see them have sex anyway LOL.

I also was not a fan of the truncated timeline of the show; season 1 takes place in like 30 years I think? And covers from the beginning of the story until Lestat's murder. And I believe Louis will meet Armand in the 1940s; they have the original interview in the 70s and they're together then, and they're together in the present in 2022. Idk I'm just not impressed; humans can get divorced after 30 years too, what's the point of having immortal characters if you're not gonna stretch out the timeline? And so much happens for Armand and Louis in canon and I have no idea what's happened or not happened on the show yet, no one's really sure which events have happened yet in the present day segments of the show. So like idk there's just a lot of Armand/Louis stuff to be smushing into 70 years lol and I'm bummed that they're rushing through the timeline so much.

So I just. Sigh. There's a lot of themes in VC that I really adore that the show doesn't care about, like being VERY OLD and NEVER SEEING THE SUN AGAIN but. I'm in the minority on this one because people love the show LOL. I'm happy for everyone who likes it, but it's not for me.

And like. Just! I knew going in that it would be the Loustat Show, I think everyone knew that, I didn't have huge expectations for Armand/Daniel content but it's such a small part of the books that like it would've been nice to get a couple scenes or some gifs out of it or whatever. It just sucks that like they SET UP the series in a way that the Devil's Minion won't happen on screen. And it sucks that like, depending how long the show runs for or how long AMC retains the rights, this might be the only chance in my lifetime that I had to see Devil's Minion on screen and it's not going to happen.

It's just a bummer man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry to anyone who likes the show lol I just found it to be like mega disappointing and I don't think I'm going to watch S2, I'm too upset about Armand & Daniel LOL.

[samandcolbypost]

Sam stop being stubborn and listen to Colby for once. DONT GO ALONE. 3 years ago taught you nothing? 😭

I don’t really think it’s accurate but at least the first part meats the first part is what I’m talking about.

Sagittarius

“It's not that they are stubborn per se; it's that they won't listen to anyone who tells them what to do. Sagittarians are adventurous and open-minded, so they're willing to consider new ideas and learn from people. It's just these free-spirited individuals cannot be controlled or manipulated.”

Sam really needs to listen. It wasn’t fair for Colby because it was supposed to be both of yours big moment, but I don’t think it’s right to judge Sam especially because it was something he needed to find out too. He could’ve just woke up Colby and at least let him know, especially for safety since no one else was awake during that time and something could’ve happened. Colby was mad and he had every right to be, also because Sam casually mentioned it while they went to the basement. 🤦🏻‍♀️ But they communicated in a healthy way so that’s something at least. (I’m actually glad to see that because now we know what they do when they fight and it’s even more of a reason to love them) yea show us how it’s done! Some thing we all need to learn from.

—

Colby threw the tick down only to go back in and grab water. 💀

—

Okay everything I just wrote didn’t even save soo I’m going to have to try again. 🙃

—

I love this down to earth moment after what they were told about “were okay” moment.

—

I hope Colby is okay going into the woods especially since they’ve been warned. We see him running at the end so I’m hoping that means he goes back to the house.. also hoping they have walkie talkies just in case.

—

We all know Colby is some kind connection because he feels energy sometimes, but can we talk about how twice Sam has done the Estes method he started shaking. I don’t know if it’s a connection per say, but it’s definitely weird. He felt like something was pushing him down, and the last time he felt he couldn’t even move. (I felt like Colby was still mad from the prior conversation because when he said “what were you doing” I was like 👀 I’m glad he realized to take him out of it at least, because I couldn’t even see him shaking on camera) I might be over analyzing why I think Colby said that too but anyways.

—

I don’t mind Larray and Bella. I don’t think it added anything to the video like some have said, but overall it wasn’t horrible.

—

I still am sticking to my box theory with Cody and Satori. I don’t think they’re horrible people but I also think they are lying up a storm. I feel somehow sound can be manipulated to sound closer and further away, and a lot of the sounds comes from Cody’s area..

—

Sam and Colby tried the method and it didn’t work except for what they heard at the very last moment. I kinda wished it worked for them but I figured. 😕

—

The camera equipment not working was kinda freaky I won’t lie. The fact it does this a lot even with their batteries being full. Also who or what was coming up the stairs?? I feel it could be the 4th tour guide or Zach, but how Colby responded on Twitter says otherwise. I guess the spirit just wanted to make an appearance in the video.

—

I’m rewatching clips as I do this to remember (which is how this got deleted to begin with 🤦🏻‍♀️). Anyways, someone just posted a clip and you can see something outside the window when Colby is standing by the window, either about to go into the well or when they finished the Estes method idk.

—

Props for them staying in the rooms by themselves I could never. Especially when it’s a haunted house and knowing anything could happen.

—

I could never go to the graveyard like they both did, and Colby going in the next video. Hell no. I don’t do bugs, ghost, the dark, and especially when I am warned.

—

Dave being a Dave 🤪😡 I’m kinda scared of Dave but I hope it’s just messing with them.

I don’t know how spirits can travel through the water? I thought they can’t leave the house unless they died outside or something. So I’m not sure how the aquifer could let them travel.

Somewhat of an Ep 2 review because I didn’t do it

Believe: Josh getting touched because he wasn’t even moving, the scrapping noise, the door opening.

Not believe: Satori and Cody, the one small door opening on its own. Do the owners/caregivers just stay there or something? I can’t say anything about this house if they are just chilling in a random room while S&C investigate. I think they stay in a different house but I also don’t know for sure.

I’m on the fence about the noises again I wish I could know the truth.

[aslongasimhereyoureinvincible]

what are your neurodivergent headcanons for hq characters?

asdfjhgfds sorry this has been in my askbox for a few days ive been busy w/ Life Stuff TM but anyways ND haikyuu headcanons lets gooo

hinata:

ik bc hes Sunshiney and Loud lots of ppl read hinata as adhd, which i can deffo see, but personally i read him as autistic

hes extroverted and good at adopting introverts (kageyama, kenma, yachi, tsukki) but when u stop to think abt it hes also actually kinda bad at social ques and 'normal' behaviour?? i think ppl dont notice bc hes also rlly nice but hinata is actually pretty blunt lmao

his special interest is literally volleyball cmon now

its canon that he dislikes being in classes too long or doing homework bc he finds sitting still for too long difficult, both me and my autistic older brother used to get up and pace around our classrooms when we were younger

even though hes rlly athletic and has insane reflexes obviously, hes also pretty clusmy and especially bad at judging distances which to me looks like dyspraxia which is really commonly comorbid w/ autism

ive also read a few fics where he has tourettes syndrome w/ body tic and i can deffo see why ppl would hc that

idk hes just reads as autistic so well in my mind like idk why its not a more common take

kageyama:

this one is less of a headcanon and moreso just interpreting the text correctly; hes definitely autistic

like its my belief that furudate either knowingly wrote kageyama as autistic or like based his personality off of an irl autistic person they knew or SOMETHING bc its actually insane how well he reads as autistic

the lack of social skills? the anger issues? the deep special interest in volleyball? the just wanting to express your feelings/opinions but coming off as rude but not knowing how to fix that? middle school being a living hell? having that one family member who Got you? the high level of skill in one particular area? hes literally the texboox definition of autism

even the little things like how he files his nails and jokes go over his head and he accidentally insults ppl bc hes calling it how he sees it and how he basically had no friends growing up bc he was too focused on volleyball and how he struggles to smile on command like!!! thats autism babe!!!!!!

oh also hes dyslexic bc im dyslexic and i say so

ushijima:

same as kageyama i bet he was either knowing written as autistic or based off of an irl person who is

blunt as all hell, monotone voice and facial expressions, volleyball as a special interest, bad at social interaction, accidentally rude, the list goes on and on

like his whole thing about how his left handedness makes him different but is also a gift that benefits him in some ways? thats a metaphor for neurodivergency dont @ me

oikawa:

i hc him as having narcisstic personality disorder, not in the ableist reddit-user 'all ppl w/ npd are evil manipulative abusers' way but in the ' i have npd and know what it actually looks like' way

hiding massive insecurities by acting like youre amazing?? that fuckin marina lyric thats like 'i feel like im the worst so i always act like im the best'?? that was abt oikawa tooru and npd

feeling threatened the second someone as good or better than you shows up? fixating on one specific thing that you have to be the best at? those are npd as fuck traits

the way he can basically get along with anyone and adjust his play style to suit them but only has a few close friendships where he can let his true personality rlly shine through

hes literally so npd coded augh <3

bokuto:

i read him as adhd and having cyclothymia

i think he was unmedicated in high school and unknowingly had depressive and hypomanic episodes which affected his play

he also very much reads as having rejection sensitive dysphoria if u ask me

and the way he talks and bounces around and has All That Damn Energy gives me adhd vibes, esp pared w/ his poor volume control ad the way he ignores social cues lol

okay quickfire round bc im getting tired of typing

atsumu is autistic, so is osamu for that matter, theyre just at very different points on the spectrum and rub each other up the wrong way a lot of the time bc of it

kita is also autistic bc no neurodivergent person is that particular about doing things the 'right' way

hoshiumi is autistic and adhd

asahi and yamaguchi read like they struggled w/ anxiety and depression

sakusa has ocpd and ocd (contamination ocd specifically) and mysophobia

kyoutani has aspd, again not in a 'aspd = violent agressive psychopaths' way but in a 'i actually have a cluster b personality disorder' way, and adhd also

kenma is autistic and has social anxiety

yachi has social anxiety too bc cmon now

tsukki reads to me as having chronic depression, i think i could also make a case for him being autistic too ngl

tendou is some flavour of neurodivergent, probally audhd, probably some other stuff, idk but hes definitely not neurotypical

like hinata, lev reads as autistic to me even tho hes got that goodball energy thatd make lots of ppl read him as adhd bc like,, he just fuckin sucks at social interaction like he is accidentally rude all the damn time lmaoo

fukunaga and aone are both autistic w/ selective mutism and/or partial to moderate non-verbalness

obviously its none of my business and i think having headcanons abt irl ppl is Fucking Weird but i wouldnt be surprised if furudate themself was autistic bc truly so many characters in haikyuu can be read that way if u ask me, although maybe im just projecting lol

[shed0kryptz]

Collector 1, 7, 8, 11, 13, 15, 16, 21, 23, 24, 30, 31

HI DIVA !!! i dont know who u are but thank you. u are so awesome

1. dude this is genuinely such a hard question to answer. im not sure what realm music is like or anything !!! but if i had to generalize things.. i think it’d love classical music a lot, specifically baroque and romantic period pieces. but also i can see some more modern classical like stravinsky (that sorta avant-garde appeal). also i fully believe he’d be into some experimental electronic n stuff, as well as some alt-rock. ive joked about it liking nine inch nails and björk but i cant even lie it would fw them so heavy. maybe it’d even like some jazz !!!

7. once again. realm drinks haven’t been established but elixirs exist, which is basically realm alcohol. ANYWAY for a human drink. i feel like he’d lemonade or root beer. but its tastebuds are different from ours, so idk exactly what it’d be tasting !!! maybe if u conditioned him enough it could taste them to an extent (strapping colly into a high chair and making it chug mug root beer)

8. OH FUNNY YOU MENTION THIS- i made an entire concept about colly owning a plush rabbit named sir fluffbutter that it found at a human thrift store. it felt bad for him and decided to take him home to fix him up. we haven’t really figured out if that’s canon tho. i absolutely think it is fond of plushies, but im not sure if it owns many. imagining colly clutching a small plushie with its long ass nails.. 😭

11. colly’s eating schedule is prolly so inconsistent; i imagine some souls get him full faster than others. so he’ll just eat whenever he feels like it. maybe db gets it into a habit of a schedule.. hrrrmmm

13. OH YEA ITS TOTALLY FOR IT !!!! dunno if ive mentioned this here before, likely not, but we did say it was canon that colly has more chest than usual. gynecomastia or something if you will :3 or idk boob. and he is completely comfy with that btw !!!! but yea colly would support it !!!!!!

15. do not put colly by a bottle of its favorite elixir it is GONE !!! yes id say he does occasionally drink and smoke. and sees nothing wrong with it, unless if it was really causing issues (beings are built dif tho LOL). it and db have prolly gotten. MESSED UP TOGETHER BEFORE i wouldn’t be surprised !!!!!!

16. um !1!!1 okay yes to the things i said prior (tho they are not habits). but i realize vice does refer to like. bad habits. hope im not wrong on that eeerm. i feel like colly tends to overwork himself too much. its always doing way more than it should and tiring himself out from it. which could lead to it not having the energy to do other things, such as soulhunting for food. also i can see it slouching a lot, especially when sitting. and he has to correct himself when it notices pffff. as for others, we’d have to think more on it !

21. heehEHEH i see it liking to be the little spoon. but also since he is taller than db there are times where its the big spoon

23. this is an interesting one. age regression, in terms of psychology and all that, is something that i feel like it wouldn’t mind or judge. which, honestly, i could see something like that happening with db in certain situations, and ofc colly wouldn’t judge him for that. so id say yea, it wouldn’t have negative views on that

24. i think it’d be so funny if collector just. straight up ate any raw dough and liked it. i could see it fucking up a bowl of cookie dough. “oh, how delectable !! it taste like gleinah !!!!!!” idk what gleinah is at all i made that up just now

30. CAT !!! some sort of cat :3 i honestly think it’d be a lynx or some other wildcat. or a bird.. as for fursona. i genuinely don’t know !1!1 colly do you know what a fursona is collay

31. colly. silly crinkly carbon being. yknow recently i wrote a wholeee thing about colly possibly using they/them along with he/it. it was very silly!!! maybe i’ll post it here idkkk. but besides that. sir fluffbutter. is one of the goofiest things ive maybe come up with. i love thinking about colly jus. gossiping to him. and telling him about his problems. in that very deep british voice of its (criss tah for lee !!!!!) “sir fluffbutter you are NOT going to believe what happened at work today. i can promise you it is VERY juicy !!!”

[nyccx]

Tom Riddle x reader

Warnings: none ig

Just some stuff I wrote (don’t judge too hard I was tired) tyy.

Messy break up w/ Tom but then y’all talk it out and it’s better 🤗🤗

Tom was in potion class with Draco and Theo, they were working on a group project. Even though they were all really good in potions tomorrow nearly messed up everything that he was supposed to do. After class he saw you walking by with a Ravenclaw, he immediately turned to theo who also saw you and just as theo wanted to say something Tom just blurted out : “ You know, I don’t even need her love but did she have to cut me off, she just screwed me over and acts like I’m not even here honestly who the hell does that? “ Theo didn’t know what to say, since he only knew his story and he felt like he sill needed to ask you what you perspective is because he still was a friend to you. So ge just replied “Idk man.”

After diner you felt a tap on your shoulder, you looked over your shoulder and saw Theo and Draco. You knew what they were here for so you took them to your room.

“So what happened?” Draco asked, even though he didn’t really care he basically already made up his mind Tom is sad wich doesn’t happen often (basically never) so its just your fault. “I always told myself it was my fault that we were fighting, but after some time I realised I don’t wanna live that way reading into every word he said so I told him it might be better if we just end it because we both want different things and it’ll be better for the both of us.” You told them. They both looked at each other and looked at you again. “Wait now, cuz Tom told me that you totally screwed him over and cut him off, whats that all about?” Theo asked you (with this face🤨🤨🤨). “Well after I told him that stuff he just stood up and said yeah that’s probably better for me but don’t you try to cone back when you realise that I’m the only one that still cares about you you know I’m right so go and act like you don’t know me but just know everyone of your little friends didn’t know about you until I got with you. So I did what he asked for.” You said while realising that your fight was just stupid but you knew that you couldn’t give in this time cause you were always the one going back and you just couldn’t let him run all over you again and again so it was better for you to just let him go. “Okay so you wouldn’t get back with tom?” Draco questioned. You told them “I don’t think I can do this again and again it’s always gonna end like this and we all know this.” After that you all just talked about different stuff and you NEVER EVER NEVER EVEEEEER got back together with him🤭🤭🤭.

It was a lie you DONT get back together🔥💪

[postmail]

okay so biggg trans hc dump up ahead. idk how read mores work and i was sleep deprived as hell when i wrote this so idk

okay so trans maxwell right? trans maxwell. but consider that if one part of a pair of identical twins is trans then typically the other one will be too. so trans jack.

and thats just dandy and opens up a lot of interesting paths you could take with that. and look, ive got a whole deleted version of this post thats twice as long going over the whole wendy and abi thing, so just trust me when i say that ive thought about it, lol

and just listen to me. the idea that both jack and maxwell are trans makes me feel so much. perhaps the reason they seem to be rather close is because they share this one aspect of themself with the other.

imagine a nervous william admitting his darkest secret to his twin and finding out that the other has been dealing with the exact same thing the whole time. or jack putting on a brave face and telling william that he wishes he was born a boy and william saying that he feels the same, and that maybe they werent born that way but they could become who they know they are inside. neither of them will face this alone, so long as the other is there

contrast this with trans, hirsute wilson. wilson, who feels like no one in the world understands. no gets why hes happy he has hirsutism, and why he refuses to shave, because they think hes a woman. he cant tell them that he feel like his body has finally got the memo thats hes a man, that it feels right to be able to grow a beard. its no becoming cis over night, but it makes him feel better. gender euphoria and all that jazz

wilson feels like who he is in the inside is finally being reflected outwards. and if other people dont like the truth... well, he doesn’t need them anyhow. he knows who is, and thats all that matters.

when wilson moves to america, it is very much like turning a new leaf. here, he decided, he would live as a man- and nobody would ever know the truth. and it feels great. but it also feels very lonely. it feels very isolating, and he has a dark secret all over again. hes not lying to himself or others anymore, but he knows how fragile this new life is. one wrong move, one wrong person confided in, and this whole new life hes constructed for himself will crumble in front of his eyes.

all of this considered, is it so much of a shock that he withdraws himself, swearing the only friend he needs to be science? refusing to interact with others unless absolutely necessary, never letting himself get close to anyone. to protect himself

all of this compounds into living alone in a rickety shack in the woods, far from anyone else. never seeing anyone except the postman on the other side of the window.

wilson might pass much better, but he lacks something maxwell has- a support system, someone who understands him. this isolation protects him from the transphobia of the outside world, but its loneliness all the same

its this that makes him willing to listen to the smooth talking stranger over the radio. he has no one, and when even science itself seems to fail him, hes eager to hear out the first friendly voice hes heard in a long time.

when hes trapped in the constant, it almost feels like reality has come back to smack some sense into him. of course, of course this would happen, who was he kidding?

when he frees maxwell and then precedes to be freed himself it takes them both a long time to figure out that the other is trans. they are both very well trained in hiding this specific part of themselves, but theres only so long you can hide this kind of thing from some one you are literally surviving in the woods with

so when someone inevitably finds out, i think it would be a whole ordeal. if its maxwell figuring it out then i think he would be more chill about it but wilson would lose his goddamn mind. for the first time, wilson finally has someone who understands him and doesn’t judge him.

it would change everything. wilson gets more comfortable with maxwell than he ever has with anyone else and maxwell can understand and he can understand maxwell

its been so long since maxwell had had another person like him around, and its like a breath of fresh air. he doesnt have to watch what he says, he doesnt have to make sure that his voice doesnt sound too high, he can just be honest with who he is, and wilson wont judge him. infact, wilson almost seems to like him more because of it

maybe they try to go back to how they were after this reveal but they just cant. they know too much now to just go back to the way they were. and maybe they find that they dont really want to, anyways

they might be in hell, but theyve got each other.

all of this to say, t4t maxwil is the best maxwil. trans rights baybeeeeee

[swaqcenix]

thank you very much! haha, wow, now I'm cool and your favorite anon….. these hashtags made me snigger maliciously. 🙂

thank you so much for your support and everything you wrote. it's really important to me and helps me feel a little more confident.":) and you can congratulate me, I really got the first place.

And OH MY GOD, I'M GOING TO TRY MY BEST, and WHAT ARE U TOLLKING ABOUT, of course I'm going to LOVE your future work. pfft, I see Peggy in the fanfiction - I automatically "❤️" it and get ready to wish happiness to the author and his whole family. lol.

I love discussing plots and the behavior of characters, although I don't seem to really like spoilers........👁👁 however, judging by your words, the main cherry on the cake in this fanfiction has not yet been revealed. and that's good. ;)

Hmm, "the visit"? Is this the movie that Kathryn Hahn played in? If so, I watched it. Really strange movie, which is more psychologically depressing than frightening, to be honest … and thank you!! you're so caring, it makes me mentally squeak.☠️

I don't know why I react this way to any good contacts with people.😐

annddd wow.. wow. you're right. I was somewhat struck by your words about all this. just this fact that someone remembers the phrases of their favorite characters and make some conclusions from it. Also, your words about the concept and much more. And oh my God, you're making me blush, stop it, fkljgkfdga 👽 also, I'm glad to be a good listener for you. 🦋

to be honest, sometimes I think that the profession of my dreams would be just to sit silently and listen to people talking about some fragments of their lives and some clever thoughts.

...

although, probably, this place is occupied by God.👍

or psychologists. in some way. or priests.

Oh, you little naughty girl! for unauthorized interference with the work of my brain and its suspension, you are obliged to compensate for the damage by writing and publishing fan fiction, which I'm looking forward to.

OH MY GOD, THE DETAILS.

wow, so much sense! I love it!(!!!) seems like when i wiil review this terribly boring movie, sorry. I watched it just for Peggy movie, I will always remember you and this fan fiction, lol honestly, I don't even know what to think looking at these photos. but it looks like it's connected to the past. perhaps the reader is someone who has been with Peggy in the past and seeing alive reader from other universe now, with Wanda, Peggy will… like…

*shows a brain explosion with hands*

you know?

well, i dont🤡

hmmm.

BAAHAHAHAHA now you're my main reason why I obsessively check tumblr all the time. thank you

by the way, do you want to exchange with me three songs that you like at this point in time? here are my:

the dismemberment song, blue kid

runs in the family, amanda palmer

крепость, дайте танк(!)

if you want, I could translate the last song for you. I know russian well enough :)

you are my favourite anon and the sweetest fr! no jokes intended little anon :) you sniggering bless you! 💌

no worries the support is meant and i'm so glad you're getting some confidence it's all you can do is just try and be yourself. I'm SO PROUD OF YOU, you really deserved that congratulations darling! <3

see you say that now i'm just shaking that it goes to plan, but hopefully it should! bahahaha, i feel you there when it comes to seeing that just instant like fr 💗

oh heaven forbid no, i wouldn't spoil it for you dear you'd need to the excitement and the surprise built up enough! the cherry on the cake is yet to be revealed you'll love it though :)) i hope

yes that one!! don't ask why i enjoy it so much, maybe it purely is for the little kathryn content we get hun, but idk i have some strange taste in films i just enjoy anything that's horror or suspense for the adrenaline. oh sweet that's adorable your little squeaks? 🥹

heyy your reactions are valid okay? remember that it's a safe space here for a reason! <3 🍓

as you can tell i do have an enjoyment going into depth with my work and my thoughts. i thrive on indulging etc, i really do enjoy it! <3 aww you're blushing, so cute! no i love it you're genuinely so sweet love! 💌

that's a really interesting concept tbh, you're more of a listener i love that. the listeners of this world are like wind through the breeze and the whisper of a river, calm and there collected with their thoughts :))

perhaps it is, i always do enjoy indulging in thoughts i can often get carried away with!

oh yes, i do tend to be a naughty little girl a lot 😌 but okay i suppose i'll compensate through this fanfic, besides it's for the best anon right! 🫶

ahhh yes see, i didn't mind the movie tbh i definitely had seen it's pro's and con's. i'm so glad you liked my little analysis of characters sweetie! HMMM perhaps it is perhaps it isn't i shall reveal nothing. 🤭 my secrets for the fanfic is yet to be revealed but that made me smile that you'll think of this fic fr! <3

AHAHHA brain explosion you do make me laugh, i love reading you little messages! sweet sweet anon, you're so kind! i'm the main reason? i better up my game if that's the case then 🥹

i'll give those a listen as soon as i post this tell love!! <3 fun fact i do speak quite a bit of russian so i should be okay 😌

My three songs i'll share with you are:

• Pray - Zana

• La De La Mala Suerte- Jesse and Joy (i can help if you don't quite understand the lyrics or it's meaning!!💌)

• Feels Like Coming Home- Jetta <33

stay safe sweetie! :))

[many-gay-magpies]

18, 23 and 24 for the fic writer questions please!

hi hello thank you for asking!!

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

okay so title writing is one of the toughest parts of doing fic for me LMAO. or, like, its not unbelievably Sisyphean in difficulty, but its one of the lesser fun parts of the process. usually I start with a kind of generic placeholder title for when I create the document for the fic, then kind of the whole time as im writing and polishing up the fic ill be putting together a list of possible titles for it? I write almost exclusively on scrivener, which for every new "chapter"/document create has a whole notes section, so I usually brainstorm titles in there. usually by the time the fic is done ill have narrowed it down to one or two titles. a lot of the time, they're song lyrics (and very often hozier lyrics), but sometimes they're completely original titles- sometimes loosely inspired by something (like a text I used in the fic), sometimes just fresh off the magpie brain presses unassisted

23. Best writing advice for other writers?

I think the bit of advice I mentioned following a lot in my answer to question 13, which is just. write the scenes you really want to write first, then worry about the stuff in between, and you can edit the scenes you wrote first to be better/more fitting with the rest whenever. you don't have to write chronologically! do what you want! follow where your heart leads! be free! also, on the note of doing what you want- this applies to all writing but ESPECIALLY to fic: be as self-indulgent as you possibly can. do what YOU want to do. you have an idea you want to write, but you think its silly/stupid/bad/no one else will want to read it? write it anyway. you don't think your writing is good? write anyway. write, write, write, whatever you want, as much as you want, dont give a damn. I say this applies especially to fic, because fic is a HOBBY. this is something we do for FUN. so have fun!! be unserious!! there will be people out there who are passionate about the same silly things you are, and if they haven't found your stuff yet, it's still valuable to just BE YOU. it's still valuable to write it and share it and- actually, for that matter, another piece of advice: you do not have to share everything you write!! some of it can just be for you!! it doesn't all have to be for an audience, you don't have to write everything with the intention to share it publicly, you can just keep it for you if you want to. that's just as valuable as the writing you share with others

24. Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

oh man idk that I can remember ever being directly given writing advice? I mean, any writing advice that was outright BAD. like, I have very little awareness of that kind of thing lmao, the advice that works sticks with me and the advice that doesn't kinda just evaporates. I mean, I saw someone say once that they calculated the worth/reading-value of fics based on the kudos-to-hits ratio, which is just stupid imo and you should NOT judge the value of your work based on smth like that. also, I wouldn't rly call this BAD advice at all, in fact it's probably quite good advice: wait until you're completely done writing to start editing; don't worry about editing when you write, just let the words flow. like, this seems like a good piece of advice at a glance and it probably IS and is probably helpful for a lot of people,,, but I have never once completely waited until im finished with a piece to edit it LMAO. I am forever tweaking phrasing and grammar and syntax and fuckin EVERYTHING as I write, its incurable

[casperillion]

i cant post the orignial context because i think op blocked me but thats fine, i just want to air my thoughts and tbh if theyre not looking anymore im happier abt that.

to summarise a little bit of what this is abt, i replied to an article that very much implied that all trans men are loud misogynists, especially towards trans women which is not something i agree with. my reasons for not agreeing with this is very much based on my real world and online experiences of growing up in the queer community with many trans people around me. I stated that i dont think that misogynistic trans men (which look, i know they exist, ive met them) should be considered the majority and on top of that it feels very weird to focus so heavily on that when trans men do not hold a position of power over other trans people, especially not systematically.

to be fair to op i didnt explain this as clearly as i could originally since my first response to the article was very much an emotional response.

anyway op told me the world would be better off without me in it and that i should kill myself, that im a transmisogynist, and that im the reason they hate that theyre trans masc. someone else told them to back off bc while they agreed with op they thought it was a bit fucked up to say that, i responded to them and clarified my points and this person also ended up agreeing with me.

op then messaged me privately with this

okay context done here are my thoughts, i'll try to split this up so its a bit easier to read Original point

so for this one, trans men and our issues are very often erased or only ever brought up as an after thought. I dont feel like i need to explain why erasure is bad but the biggest issue i find with this is lack of resources and lack of coverage or even knowledge about the shit trans men deal with in a cisnormativity society.

this article was rough for me to read because it described every trans man that the writer had met as someone who became a loud misogynist and the conclusion was that all trans men were that way, if not openly then secretly. I know this is not the case because i know many trans men and trans masculine people, many of those men are very passionate supporters of trans women, nb people, and cis women. honestly i think these experiences say more about the person who wrote the article than trans men as a whole.

this attitude is used by TERFs to harass trans men who they see as "traitors" and its where i see this sort of thing most often. its very weird to be this focused on this subject especially without discussing how complex being trans masculine is.

its kinda hard to put everything into words, i'll add on more when i remember it later

To the person who posted the article that is now harassing me

im not gonna name them but looking through thier blog actually... made me really sad. they are the type of people that have fallen victim to this kind of thing. they hate men, and they hate themselves even more for being one.

its so sad to me that they see themself like that, its kinda hard to even know if theres a way i can help them, i want to though. even though they were incredible weird towards me.

digression into them being weird actually bc ive been thinking abt it.

they were very quick to judge who i am as a person without knowing anything about me, made a lot of assumptions that arent true. it felt a lot like projection because like?? idk its wild to doubt that i care about my close friends???? you dont know any of us?? you dont even know what community i come from?? i know trans women from like, actually idk the youngest age but roughly from 20 years old to 40+, most of the trans men i know are in their 20s, and i dont even know what the range for nb people i know is because ive met too many and i stopped keeping track. I've lived with other trans people in person of all genres (idk i dont have a better word) , ive volunteered in places where ive met and helped trans women get back on their feet while experiencing financial hardship. as a teenager i was involved in creating safe spaces for trans and gnc teens in my city to meet each other and hang out. less relevant but ive also be outright told by women im close with that they value my perspective when we have discussions about misogyny, actually that was literally 2 nights ago while we were discussing the best way to create a safe space for women and trans fems. obviously op knows none of this but its wild that they just.. assumed so much and decided that my voice was not important or worth listening to.

[ketbra]

I meant 'touch grass' in the gentlest way possible, bc yes it's used for people that are too online, but because they sort of loose touch with reality. And pls i'm not saying you are. But the way you framed the story in your post it seemed like you were condemning your friend for a situation that wasnt real. IN THE POST. idk how you handled the real situation in real life with your friend, but i read the comments of people telling you to reconsider your friendship over your friend taking 2 slices of dessert and saying she was selfish and cruel and those people really need to touch grass.

and i meant touch grass, because you werent in an actual situation of food scarcity were depriving someone of a piece of food was a moral/ethical failure and yet you did.

and I was baffled that she couldn't see the ethical difference between two people eating one slice of tart each vs. one person eating two, when there's a limited quantity of tart.

Okay I guess you're not breaking any laws by taking more than your fair share of a thing other people also want, just failing a kindergarten-level morality test.

you were at a restaurant and your friend took 2 slices of pie and the fact that hypothetically someone could end up without pie or that another person's happiness depended on it are a stretch of reality. that you were so bothered that it [significantly altered the way you perceive your friend]. this is what i mean by touching grass.

she didnt see the situation the way you did, she didnt see the tart as a 'tearing family apart for a slice' or a race with winners and loosers. or a rare item in a system of food scarcity nor an object from which depended someone's happiness.

she saw the dessert as something good she wanted to eat.

for what you wrote in the post it seemed like you were condemning her for a situation she wasnt actually in.

because from your logic we can judge people's ethical stance indefinetly, it's enough to frame their action into a moral dilemma. how can you go to a restaruant when some people cant even afford to eat? isn't that also a failed kindergarten level morality test? dont you see the ethical difference in using your money for yourself and eating at a restaurant instead of buying food for a homeless? we share with the good people inside the restaurant who obviously deserve a piece of cake but those outside dont they deserve it?

and yes i'm exagerating on purpose. it all depends on how you frame an action. and how close to reality you frame it as.

you can (and should) go out and eat at a restaurant and enjoy your life with your friends and a slice or two of blueberry tart. not everyone's happiness nor their slice of pie are your responsability.

btw you are very Chidi Anagonye coded

there was also an episode where he couldnt pick a muffin because of the implications of the fillings which if i remember correctly one was also blueberry 🫐

I went to a restaurant with a friend yesterday and upon entering we saw these splendid blueberry tarts under bell jars on the counter and we made jokey small talk with the waitress like oh, people will fight over these if there's not enough for everyone, it'll tear families apart, are you making more later? and she said no, I'm afraid that's our entire stock for today, but there are 18 slices, it should be plenty! It was a small village restaurant with only one menu du jour so there weren't any other dessert options but they don't usually get that many customers—but then a couple of large groups arrived and most people noticed the tarts like we did, and went ohh blueberry tart, it's been a while, I can't wait, and it became clear that when we'd get to the end of our meal there would be winners and losers in the blueberry tart rush

But later as we were about to order dessert I wasn't hungry anymore and I was like well that's too bad but someone else will be glad to get 'my' slice of tart—and my friend said yeah, me :) You should order it anyway, I'll eat both! At first I thought she was joking, but no. I said, there's not enough for everyone, you can't take two, and she said, we were going to order two slices, what difference does it make? and I was baffled that she couldn't see the ethical difference between two people eating one slice of tart each vs. one person eating two, when there's a limited quantity of tart. I felt like we were in a simplistic social justice metaphor it was so obvious, but there was no changing her mind. When I said "it's just... not nice" she said "okay" with a shrug, and what can you say to that. She added, you don't know any of these people and I was like, why are we reverting to tribal dynamics in a non-apocalyptic setting, how would you feel if we'd arrived a bit later and seen others ordering two desserts knowing you'd get zero? And she said, I would think that's their right, and I felt kind of amazed.

I pointed out that if she didn't think it was a wee bit wrong, she wouldn't ask me to order her second piece as if it was for me, and she said yeah maybe we don't need to do that, there's no law preventing me from ordering two desserts. What about Kant's categorical imperative Okay I guess you're not breaking any laws by taking more than your fair share of a thing other people also want, just failing a kindergarten-level morality test. I felt embarrassed for sounding like an annoying preachy rigid person so I dropped the issue, and as she ate her two slices she'd smile at me every time we overheard someone order coffee without dessert—like "See? There'll be enough, no one will be deprived of tart because of me!" as if that cancelled the fact that she didn't care in the first place. I guess it was one of these tiny issues that can still significantly alter the way you perceive a person. I tried to tell myself not to be so bothered about this small thing but I was! so bothered. And I felt like writing a letter to some agony aunt like "should I end a friendship over irreconcilable blueberry tart ethics"

[calehenituseappreciation]

Ive seen a lot of Dream (and usually Techno and Phil too) as gods au (i have one too dw) but all of you are sleeping on the funniest option.

Tommy is the god.

Tommy.

hes the only one in that galaxy (other than drista ofc)

Just imagine how fucking funny it is like 

it would be so fucking hilarious

and tommy just doesnt tell them

so techno is just there making all these blood god jokes and jokingly telling tommy to serve him and tommys just laughing

imagine a god in the form of a chaotic 16 year old racoon gremlin just walts into your land commits arson and gets banned, only to come back with another person who he helps start a nation for drugs?

imagine how fucking funny it is

just

imagine tubbo banning a literal god from his lands and he just doesnt come back? he just plays by the rules? then goes and like sits in the corner all sad because some humans/dreamons told him to leave

ranboo, just joining the server: hi-  a chaotic gremlin god: wanna commit arson with me?  ranboo, just trying to vibe and maybe not disturb this god: sure 

Phil and Ranboo recongnize Tommy as a god on sight.

Everyone else just refuses to believe it. hes Tommy. Tommyinnit. hes just weird lol

And Drista being a fucking chaotic blood god? 

drista is open about her godhood and does not hesitate to spawn blocks

Drista finds Dream and decides she likes this small human, and dream just has to deal with it lmao.

drista and tommy are both born at the same time.

Tommy is a god of music, chaos, war and theivery (the last one bc he is a BITCH)

Drista is the blood god, chaos, deception, and theatre

okay but imagine the sbi interactions... like ig in this au tommy joins at like 12/13 years of age (in their minds) so he doesnt really grow much 

and like tommy, a literal god, just claiming phil as his father???

phil, in his house making eggs, assuming one of his sons woke up and came to the kitchen, not looking: hey son  tommy, from their couch, already deciding hes phils son now: whats up dad? phil: looks up at tommy who are you tommy: idk dad, who am i  phil: *stares at tommy for a second* eh i made extra eggs you can stay 

ASJIDGASUIOG IMAGINE TOMMY TELLING THEM HES A GOD BUT THEY THINK HES JOKING AND IGNORE HIM

everyone on the server: tommy is the youngest! tommy, as old as the universe: no im not!!!! im not a child!!!! he doesnt pout because pouting is for children and hes not a child but hes pouting tubbo: lol im older than you by a month tommy dont try to hide it tommy: im not a child!!!! techno: laughs

tommy doesn't try to hide that hes a god just its tommy

thats all the evedince anyone needs to think tommy isnt a god or powerful its like mcc hes good but only when he doesnt throw for content

quackity: sees drista written in bedrock lmao drista visited? tommy: yeah! i wrote that for her!  quackity: snorts yeahhhh sureee tommy

imagine like how fucking funny it is jsut like 

a fucking chaotic god breaks into your house androbs you makes a room under your house and decides to live in your floorboards

imagine dream like trying to manipulate tommy, and tommy a fucking anchient diety immeditly recongnizes what hes doing

but decides to play along for the angst and giggles and then actually gets mad when no one fucking cares for his theatrics

tommy, storming off to technos base to rob and build under: >:///// cant believe none of them acknoledged my  deppression 

i love that tommy stills robs everyone, he doesnt need to he can spawn in anything he wants

he just does it for the sport of robbery

JAKOGFSDOH

THE HOLY LAND

dream: im god actually tommy: thats so fucking funny lets make a cult about that :)  dream: see! look! im god! and jesus!  tommy: wheezing

imagine tommy getting stressed and letting go of his mortal form

Tommy, his human form peeling away, showing his actual form a bit: WH̸͘A͠T̷ ̶̢T͞H͢E ̡͘F̴̵͘Ù̧C͜K҉ ̶T͘͜͞E͟CHǸ͏Ǫ  Techno: HAH?

tommy just saw tubbo and got emotionally attached

Tommy, a literal god: hello Tubbo: oh hi do you like my pet bee? Tommy: you’re mine now Tubbo: im okay with this

tommy, a bored god: gives techno shapeshifting powers  techno, not even caring: changes into more human to pig-ishg forms as he wishes this is my life now ig 

phil lets tommy do fuck all in exile bc he knows hes a god hes fine

phil: IDC IF YOURE A GOD! YOU WILL DO THE DISHES NOW YOUNG MAN! tommy: grumbles but does them

phil is the only one who can control tommy

god... tommy... with star freckles... on his human form... (as well as his god one)

tommy: f̷͛͠a̵̋t̵̒̑h̸̚e̶̓͝r̸͊ ̸̐̒i̴ ̸̅̿d̷̉͆o̵͂͋ ̵̛̆ñ̸̾ő̶́t̸̎́ w̶͆͘i̴͠s̵̓̈́h̸͗́ ̵̯͗f̶͋́ő̴͑r̷̐̌ ̶͝é̵̽g̸͊͂g̵̒s̷͂̃  phil: idc, eat your goddamn eggs tommy: pouts

tommy, despite being able to get supplies himself by fucking spawning them in: hey tubbo? we need supplies 

In this au ig like if a god claims you you get a mark on your skin showing that. Drista’s would be like a green crown, Tommys would be a red and white disk (white as the outer ring and red as the center) (its different enough that if you don’t realise tommy is a god you wouldnt realise whos it is) (schlatt is the only one who never had one which shoulda been a sign dude :/)

Dream has two from the beginning, everyone else has only one, well until they meet drista. (sbi have had one since they met tommy, though they dont remember the first time they met tommy)

wait what if tommy like found them all as children one by one and later kinda pulled some strings to get them all in one kingdom. (he still joined sbi through forcing phil to adopt him) 

OKAY BUT IMAGINE IF TOMMY MET TECHNO WHEN TECHNO WAS YOUNG ENOUGH TO NOT REMEMBER

tommy would hang out with baby techno and tell him stories

once he told him the story of a man named thesus

another time he told him the story of a blood god

like for example tommys first time meeting techno would be like

(for context techno lived in a shitty village and was an orphan and it was kinda a dog eat dog place, he learned how to be strong because of it)(he was young enough that he doesn’t remember this well, just like learning about the blood god and someone giving him gold)

baby techno: sighs tommy, appearing out of nowhere: oh heyyy whyre you sad? techno: jumps turning around with a knife up ready for a fight who are you tommy: im tommy! :) techno: what do you want from me! you dont scare me! tommy: whats your name! techno: i have a knife! i'll use it! tommy: of course, thats a given, but its rude not to tell people your name techno, confused: t-technoblade? tommy: smiles thats a nice name techno: so. tommy: hm? techno: why're you here tommy: i don't have a reason. im just a traveller! techno: then why hole to this terrible village! theres nothing nice here! everyone is terrible and so are you! tommy: hmmmm i dont agree techno: what are you? a child? i thought adults were supposed to know that everyone is mean tommy: mmhmm looks at the bruise on technos face where'd you get that? techno: fight. i won. i'll win against you too! so don't try anything. tommy: of course. i would never win in a fight against a blood god techno, putting down his knife a bit, stars in his eyes: blood god? tommy: grins blood. god. i think she'd like you. techno, muttering: maybe i can give the blood god some of your blood tommy: laughs yeah, she'd defenitly find you intresting tommy: here tosses techno a golden crown at techno, he spawned it in in the moment techno: whats this? tommy: a crown, thought it suit you screams in the distance tommy: huh. i need to go. have fun lil piglin. ruffles technos hair before running off towards the screaming unbeknownst to the pig the blood god was actually the one waiting for the god he met. techno: stares at the crown 

Techno found a pouch of gold in his ‘house’ later that day. he didnt know who left it but it helped him get food for that night. (he kept the crown)

okay but imagine tommy not taking the war seriously at all, and only seeing it as a squabble between mortals, Like toddlers fighting

dream: SURENDER BY TOMMOROW OR WE'LL DECLARE WAR! wilbur: FUCK YOU WE'LL NEVER SURENDER AND JOIN YOUR SMP! Tommy: how cute

tommy doesnt realise that theyre serious until wilbur dies

tommy would usually go apeshit against anyone who dares messes with his humans, but what is he supposed to do when his humans are fighting Eachother?

wilbur: fucking goes insane and dies  tommy: hey- hey can you guys let me talk to wil for a sec? everyone else leaves tommy, unsually somber: sorry i didnt help you i forgot how easily breakable mortals are tommy: this time you wont die, and i'll make it so that you dont break again, okay? tommy: brings wilburs soul out of its body and enters his mindscape ghostbur: wakes up what- where am i? tommy: hi there ghostbur: who are you tommy: i go by a lot of names all, one, you, the world, the universe, god, but you can just call me tommy ghostbur: oh okay. who am i? tommy: you're name was wilbur soot. you were the son of philza minecraft and brother to Technoblade, Tubbo and myself. ghostbur: was? tommy: well you see, you died. ghostbur: oh... well what am i then? tommy: a ghost! well actually its your choice. would you like to continue your existance or fade away with your body? ghostbur: i dont want to fade away! tommy: smiles thats what i thought you'd say stretches his hand to wilbur ghostbur: grabs tommy hand tommy: lets go home

ghostbur doesnt remember that though

he only remembers the good

tommy wont let him remember the bad, what if he breaks again? mortals are so fragile

phil realises what tommy did as soon as he sees ghostbur 

drista, painting tommys nails (there both in god form btw) (after wilburs death btw): tommy shouldn't you of all gods realise how fragile they are?  tommy: i know just... forgot  drista: sighs and nods i get what you mean, especially with the ones we found... they act a lot like gods sometimes i forgot they arent  tommy: ikr? wait- drista here gets drista's hair out of her face you were gonna get it on my nails, anyways, don't judge me. we all know if dream died you would turn him into a ghost too drista: smirks not if you do it first, we all know you would tommy: you say that as if you wouldn't fight me to do it first  drista: .... tommy: ... drista: both of us when he dies? tommy: nods tommy: anyways my turn to do your nails 

or like tommy with ghostbur like

ghostbur: i don't like this :( tommy, a worried brother and god: whats wrong? ghostbur: everyone is mad at me and i d-dont know why- why are they mad at me tommy: theyre mad at something alivebur did ghostbur: b-but im not alivebur sniffs it hurts. i dont like it. tommy: spawns in some blue here ghostbur: whats that? tommy: its some blue! it'll help you not hurt anymore! ghostbur: how does it work? tommy: see how its blue? ghostbur: nods tommy: well its blue because it sucks up all the bad feelings! it'll help ghostbur: !!!!! ghostbur: presses the blue into his chest ghostbur: !!!!its working!!!! :D tommy: smiles good

wilbur fucking died and tommy went from annoying little brother to caring older brother

tommy just wants to help his brother :) though he doesnt realise that not letting ghostbur remember bad memories isnt good

*at logsted shire btw* ghostbur: who are you? tommy, chuckling: did you forget me already ghostbur? ghostbur: i didnt forget you! i think! you're tommy! i just... you're different tommy, looks over at ghostbur: different how? ghostbur: you're not normal are you? tommy: grins whaaaaat? you think im weirdddd? how heartbreaking... my own brother thinks im weird, this is terrible ghostbur: giggles tommy: but really, don't worry about it bur. ghostbur: you sure? tommy: yeah, dont worry about me ghostbur: smiles okay! do you want some blue anyways? tommy: giggles sure! ghostbur: grins

ghostbur isnt worried about tommy

he knows hes strong

phil having to tell tommy that he cant just not let wilbur remember the bad memories

and tommys like "what if he breaks again!" and phil hugs him and tells him to at least ask ghostbur if he wants to remember and tommys like ‘fine’

tommy: hey bur? ghostbur: yeah? tommy: do you like you're memories? ghostbur: i mean, yeah its hard not to when you only remember the good tommy, quietly: would you want to remember the bad? ghostbur: w-what brought this question on tommy: answer the question ghostbur: no- alivebur was badi shouldn't want to- tommy: but what do you want bur? wilbur, silent for a moment: yeah- yeah i do. not that i like the bad memories! they hurt... but i wish i could remember tommy: ... ghostbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? ghostbur, with tears in his eyes: do you think they'd be less mad at me if i could remember, maybe then i could repair my relationships, what the hell am i supposed to do when i dont even remember hurting them? tommy: what if they dont? what if you break again? ghostbur, saltily: we'll maybe i'll be able at least be able to say i know why everyone hates me tommy: i know how to get all of your memories back ghostbur, looks towards tommy in shock: you do??? tommy: nods ghostbur, voice wavering: for how long tommy: since the beginning ghostbur: and you didnt tell me tommy: i did what i thought was best. i just didnt want you to hurt anymore. ghostbur, angrily: WELL THAT CLEARLY WORKED DIDNT IT? tommy: sorry wilbur, sometimes i forget how to handle humans ghostbur: what- tommy: sighs and taps ghostbur on the forehead and ghostbur does the ghost equivilent of passing out tommy: wont hide any memories this time

ghostbur doesnt wake up, instead wilbur wakes up weither thats good or bad we'll see

wilbur, waking up with all his memories: HOLY SHIT TOMMY WASN'T KIDDING phil, who was reading beside the bed tommy placed wilbur into, which was in technos house. yes he broke into technos house with a passed out wilbur. move on.: hm? wilbur: holy shit phil: huh? yeah. wilbur: wait you knew? phil: yeah i recongnized him as soon as i saw him about 5 years ago now? wilbur: excuse me while i freak out because my little brother is an actual god

it really hits wilbur that tommy is a god later

wilbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? wilbur: how fucking old are you? tommy: snorts of course thats the first thing you ask wilbur: well? tommy: i dont really know the exact years since years are kind of a human thing that were invented recently wilbur: they were invented thousands of years ago- tommy: but it was around the beginning of this galaxy wilbur, softly: what the fuck

tommy telling wilbur stories about different heros and villains and different humans he met during his life.

Adsjbffsg what if Tommy made himself blonde and blue eyed and white bc thats hyow the first human he met looked like asjfhsd

and just didnt change that, despite meeting new humans, its just his defult settings.

he would totally do this tho im crying.

drista just based her human form off dream because she is his sister now. he must deal with this. trying disowning me when i look like you BITCH.

thats my take anyways later might continue this

[sunrisefairy]

Cameras and crushes

Pairing: George Weasley x reader

Warning: Alcohol, small mention of death, pure fluffiness 

Summary: Y/N is used to being a background character someone you glaze over but never really notice. But more recently she longed for someone to see her, well she longed for a certain redhead to see her. 

A/N: Wrote this for @theweasleysredhair​​ writing challenge based off the prompt “You remembered?” very proud of this fic so i hope you love it as much as i do. All feedback is welcomed :))))

italics represent a flashback 

Taglist: send me a message if you would like to be added @hufflepuff5972​ @inglourious-imagines​ @klausdatprettyboi​ @georgeweasleyswhre​​

————————————————————————

Y/N is very content with being a background character, she’s quite used to it actually. Growing up with 3 older and much louder brothers she was pretty happy with sticking to the sidelines, letting them be noisy and crazy while she kept to herself. Y/N grew up with mostly boys around her, her mother passed away when she was young. Y/N would always beg her brothers and her dad for stories of her mother, wanting to feel closer to her. Y/N’s dad would fondly retell memories of his beautiful wife, reminiscing on how witty and charismatic she was. He’d mention all the small, quirky things she would do which made him fall hard and fast for her. Y/N longed for that kind of love, she longed for someone to take notice of her in the way her dad did for her mum. Ever since Y/N was a little girl she yearned to be heard and seen but that proved difficult when you’re as shy and quiet as her.

Judging by most of the people in Y/N’s life she seemed to attract the boisterous types, guessing her quiet nature balanced them out. She loved her friends with her entire heart, even if their personalities were the opposite of hers, Y/N wouldn’t change their qualities if she could.

One of her friends, although still lively and vibrant as the others, also had a calm and tranquil side to him. George Weasley. Y/N had only known George for a few years having met at Lee Jordan’s 18th birthday 3 years ago. Somehow that night she had ended up climbing a tree with the tall redhead whom she had only met 30 minutes prior.

“How the hell did you get up to that branch?” Y/N mumbled, trying to figure out how to reach the higher branch where George Weasley was currently sitting, his long legs swinging back and forth as he chuckled at the girl below him.

“I used that branch sticking out there and then swung my leg up to get here.” George points to the branch to the girls left. 

Y/N grunts as she attempts what George said but huffs and pouts her lip feeling defeated, “you forget that I have little legs, unlike you Mr. giraffe.”

George rolls his eyes and stretches his hand out, “try again, I’ll help pull you up.”

Somehow, George manages to pull Y/N up and they sit comfortably next to one another up high in the tree. “There you go little bunny, don’t go falling off now.”

Y/N rolls her eyes at the nickname wishing she had brought her cider up with her feeling very self-conscious and unsure of what to do her shaking hands.

The pair fall into a comfortable silence, watching the party goers below them gathered around a very intoxicated birthday boy chanting as he chugs another beer, “we love to drink with Lee cause Lee is our mate and when we drink with Lee he gets it down in 8…7…”

Their voices drown out as George gently nudges Y/N’s shoulder pulling her attention back to him, “soo, Y/N I hear you’re not much of the talker?”

Y/N blushes hard grateful for the lack of light outside. “No I guess not. Not many are interested in what I have to say.”

George smiles, his eyes not leaving the girl beside him, “well I am. Tell me something.”

Y/N chews on her bottom lip nervously and looks back at the drunk crowd, “like what?”

George shrugs, he didn’t really mind what the conversation was about, he just wanted to hear the pretty girl speak. “I dunno, anything. Tell me about something that makes you happy.”

Y/N racks her brain for something to talk about, her palms getting sweaty from the long silence. Finally, she settles on something that always fills her with joy, her mother.

“Um okay so,” she starts staring at the leaves swaying in the tree, pushing down the anxiety. “Before my mother died she always had this film camera with her, my dad used to joke around saying that she loved this camera more than him,” Y/N chuckles quietly before continuing “She would take photos of the most random things, we have this big box back home filled with all the photos she ever took with that camera.” Y/N pauses, fumbling with her fingers. “I wish we still had the camera. You see after my mum passed, dad had to look after us 4 kids and with only one income coming in, it was pretty tough. For my 12th birthday I reeeaaally wanted a new bike, I’d complained for years that I couldn’t have my brothers old one because it was a gross boy’s bike. So, my dad sold my mums camera to get me a pink one. Kind of wish he didn’t because I would have loved to still have mum’s camera with us.”

Y/N finished and chewed her lip realising speaking about her dead mother probably wasn’t a great conversation piece, but any story of her mother always made her feel warm inside.

George hadn’t taken his eyes off her throughout the whole story, his heart fluttering when her eyes had lit up as she spoke about her mother.

“I’m sorry, probably not what you wanted to hear, it was the first thing that popped into my head.” Y/N mumbled.

George simply shook his head and replied, “you don’t ever have to apologise to me for saying what’s on your mind Y/N. I’ll listen to whatever you have to say.”

For the first time in a while, Y/N felt seen.

Y/N’s phone dings and she pulls it from her pocket to read the message.

-Hey bunny :) so 4 tonight, we’re aiming to get to urs at like 7. does that work for u?

It was from George. Even if she didn’t have his number saved, she’d be able to tell it was from the redhead simply from his choice of nickname. Y/N hated when he called her bunny but George insisted on using the nickname ever since Lee’s 18th mainly because he thought it was cute not that he would tell her that.

Y/N’s heart thumped harder in her chest purely from the fact that George had texted her. Her crush on George had amplified over the years of knowing the boy, feeling both thankful and uneasy at the fact that he had so effortlessly slotted into their tight friendship group mainly because he was always around making Y/N a stuttering mess.

Y/N’s fingers fumble as she types out a response, it was her birthday today and all her friends we’re persistent in throwing her a party. They had agreed to a small gathering at Y/N’s place, Y/N didn’t want them to make such a fuss over it.

-Hey Georgie, 7 is perfect! Cant wait.

-See u then bunny, hope ur ready to get ur drink on ;)

-IDK, after the other weekend I dont think im ready to face alcohol again

-nope! no excuses from u, u only turn 21 once

Y/N chuckles at George’s message and goes back to tidying her house, ready for tonight.

~~~~

As soon as it hits 7pm her friends are barging through her front door lugging drinks.

Each of them greet Y/N giving her a hug and wishing her happy birthday.

“We’ll do presents later, first let’s get some drinks into us!” Angelina cheers as she starts to mix some deadly concoction. Alicia connects her phone to the speaker, the living room filling with music.

Y/N jumps as a voice pipes up from behind her, “happy birthday little bunny.”

She turns facing George as he places a brightly coloured wrapped box on the counter with the other presents. He opens his arms, engulfing her into a giant hug. Y/N wraps her arms around his waist, giving him a tight squeeze, “thanks” she mumbles into his chest before pulling away looking up at his warm eyes. They stare at each other for a second before the moment is broken when Fred places something on Y/N’s head.

“A birthday tiara for the birthday girl” Fred states loudly, Y/N glances at the mirror hanging from the wall on her left sees a plastic silver and pink tiara perched upon her head.

“Oh god,” Y/N mumbles adjusting it slightly.

Lee shouts over the music, drawing everyone’s attention over to him. “Okay everyone, the ever lovely Angie has made us each a questionable looking but delicious drink to start the night. So get your butts over here and let’s get this party started!”

A few hours and many, many drinks later, everyone is huddled in the living room, sitting on the couches watching Y/N open her presents. So far, she had gotten some perfume from Angelina, chocolates and a gorgeous photo frame from Alicia and Fred and Lee had gifted Y/N with a bottle of wine and voucher from the little boutique at the corner of her street. Y/N’s cheeks were hurting from smiling so much and her heart swelled at the sweet gifts her friends had gotten her.

“Okay, only one left,” Alicia says, clapping her hands excitedly.

“Probably the best one,” Fred whispers to Lee.

“Of course it’s going to be the best one you idiot,” Angelina says as a matter of fact, overhearing the two boys.

George, who is sitting to Y/N’s right, hands over the brightly colour box, trying to hide his excitement and nerves. “Here you go Y/N, happy birthday.”

The box feels heavy in Y/N’s grasp as she places it in her lap tearing off the wrapping paper. Y/N glances around, noticing everyone’s eager eyes on her. She sees Angelina nudge Alicia’s side smiling at each other knowingly. Y/N furrow her brows, slightly confused then draws her attention back to the box. She ripped off the paper carefully and uncover a brown box, no hints as to what is inside.

“Oh my god, hurry up and open it the suspense is killing me!” Fred says impatiently, George whacks him across the head telling him to shut up.

Y/N take off the lid and immediately her mouth gapes open finally seeing what’s inside. She shakily lifts the film camera out of the box and hold it so gently as if it’s made of diamonds and gold.

Small tears prick in Y/N’s eyes, shocked and surprised at George’s gift, it looks exactly like the one her mother had.

She manages to squeak out a small, “you remembered?” referring to the first conversation they had 3 years prior.

George has a small smile etched onto his lips. “Of course I did, I remember everything you tell me. I take a lot of pride in knowing everything about you actually.” He says, puffing his chest out proudly.

“Yeah like what?” Y/N cradles the camera in her arms.

“Well,” George starts. “I know that you hate the smell tequila because it reminds you of your 18th when you spent most of the night by the toilet. I know that you can’t sleep if the room is dead quiet. I know that you love buying plants but can never seem to keep them alive. I know you never wear matching socks because you think it’s a fun way to spice up an outfit.” He finishes smugly.

Alicia and Angelina let out a small aww in the background reminding Y/N of the 4 other sets of eyes watching her and George right now.

“Well there’s one thing you don’t know about me.”

“Yeah? What’s that then?” George counters.

Y/N doesn’t know where she musters up the courage from to speak the next words, maybe from the alcohol buzzing through her body or finally being sick of keeping this to herself for the past 3 years. Whatever it may be, she’s rather proud of herself, ignoring the way her stomach churns.

“That I have a huge crush on you.”

She expected George to laugh in her face before rejecting her gently. What Y/N definitely didn’t expect was him to cradle her face in his large hands, pressing a sweet but passionate kiss to her pink lips. She squeaks in surprise before melting into the kiss, gripping onto his shirt tightly, scared he would slip away.

Much to Y/N’s dismay George pulls away from the kiss tucking a strand of her hair back behind her ear, “no I knew that too.”

“Wha-how?” Y/N stutters.

The attention is pulled to Alicia as she begins to speak, “it wasn’t much of a secret babe. Everybody knew you were crushing on George. Can’t believe it took either one of you so long to do something about it.”

“Little Georgie here spent months trying to find that camera for you as a way to confess his undying love for you.” Fred reaches over and ruffles his twin’s hair who shoves him off.

“Yep, we were all so bloody excited for you to open his presents so you two can stop pining over each other.” Lee adds downing the rest of his drink then standing up. “Right, now the two love birds have finally confessed their feelings. Who’s up for a round of beer pong? Reigning champion here has yet to be defeated.”

“You’re on Jordan, that ego of yours has gotten large enough.” Fred challenges, everyone moving over to the table to set up for beer pong. Leaving Y/N and George alone on the couch.

George wraps his lanky arm around Y/N’s shoulder pulling her into his side, “I hope you’re enjoying your birthday bunny.”

Y/N grins widely, playing with her new camera before lifting it up and aiming it at George. “best birthday ever Georgie, thank you.” She squeezes the button down, snapping a picture of George who is staring at her like she’s the only person in the world.

Y/N is very content with being a background character, she’s quite used to it actually. But for once she doesn’t mind being the centre of someone’s undivided attention.

[carcinized]

i'm currently trying to gauge interest in a dsmp pantheon au to see if it's worth writing! this is a basic info post to see if anyone might want to read something like that ^_^

okay so a basic summary: a pantheon au where dsmp characters are pantheon gods.

basic background info is that mortals used to live alongside immortals until a war was sparked between them. obviously the immortals would have won bc theyre ultra powerful, but they didnt want to kill everyone, so they withdrew into the sky and built heaven (NOT the christian version). the mortals began praying to them out of fear, then love (for some of them at least), and they became gods with the true meaning of the word. wilbur caused this war and was subsequently raised to godhood for uh complicated reasons

there's also a fun complicated & unique (at least it's unique to my knowledge of mythology) death system. essentially when you die, a panel of gods judges your life and designs you your own personal afterlife based off of that. there's a lot more to it and i could go into detail but i'll save that for another post.

some tags i wrote a while back on what the writing/format of the au might look like:

things i would hopefully write if there's an interest in this:

multichapter fic of the war where wilbur became a god

multichapter fic (or at least 2-3 chapters) of how ranboo became a god (pretty much beeduo and some tommy centric)

possibly a day in the life type oneshot of how the death system works because i'm honestly quite proud of it

if not, definitely a step by step explanation of it

possibly a pre-ranboo clingyduo bit where they're sad cuz being a god is hard idk. or this with just tubbo

if any of this interests you, i invite you to read the short 1k oneshot i've already written to see what some of it might be like! it's basically just where ranboo covers prayers for tommy and tubbo, who surprise him with a thank-you gift.

IF ANY OF THIS SOUNDS INTERESTING PLEASE INTERACT WITH THIS POST!!! I WONT WRITE THIS IF THERE ISN'T AN AUDIENCE (i dont think my heart could take that) SO PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOURE INTERESTED!!! THANK YOU <3333

[3rensgf]

rent a gf - two eren yeager x reader

word count: 2.9k

warnings: mentions of sex, talks about "getting bitches", eren is an idiot, fuckboy!eren implied, tatbilb mention, uhh fluff idk theres not much to warn abt in here, not beta read

notes: chapter two is out! i'm really glad a lot of people are enjoying rent a gf. it really means a lot! i see some people commented on the previous chapter, and i would love to reply to them, but i'm not familiar with tumblrs commenting system D: if you wanna leave a comment for me to just read, that's fine you can still keep commenting here on tumblr. but if you would like me to reply to it, you can comment on ao3, and i will reply! happy reading :) p.s, waffles w whipped cream r so much better

[ read on ao3 ]

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In the early hours of Saturday morning, you felt a hand shaking your shoulder to wake you. Groaning and mumbling, you sleepily swatted the hand away and pulled the covers over your head. No one should be forced to wake up early on the weekends. It was Saturday, for fucks sake. Not to mention your hangover due to last nights mistakes was making your head throb.

The hand rested on your shoulder once more, shaking you gently. “(Y/N),” Mikasa said softly. “Your alarm has been going off for the past 10 minutes. Wake up. I have water and Advil.”

“Nooooo,” you moaned, snuggling deeper into your bed. “Don’ wanna.”

Mikasa stopped bothering you for a moment, and you let your guard down. Finally you could sleep. When it was time to wake up, you’d wake up.

Right as you were about to pass out again, your blanket was roughly tugged off of you. “Mikasaaa!” you whined, covering your face with your hands. “What was that for? I was trying to sleep.”

“Get up. You have to shower and get ready for lunch with Eren today. Breakfast is almost finished,” she explained, setting down the pills and water on your bedside table. “Go brush your teeth and wash your face so you can eat. Now,” she instructed sternly, moving to your window to open the curtains. The bright sunlight hit your still half-asleep face, making you hiss quietly.

She left the room moments after, probably to check up on breakfast. Honestly, you didn’t know how she could function this early in the morning despite having partied all night last night. Curse her and her inability to get hungover.

Grumbling to yourself, you adjusted your sleep clothes that had gotten disheveled overnight to make sure you looked decent. Your sleepy gaze wandered over to your nightstand to see two Advils on a napkin beside a glass of cold water. Thanking every higher power for sending Mikasa to you, you downed both pills and the glass of water. Even though you might bitch and moan to her constantly, you really weren’t lying when you said you’d die without Mikasa.

After sitting down at the edge of your bed for a few moments, you eventually shuffled into the bathroom to brush your teeth and do your morning routine. It took longer than usual thanks to your sluggish and tired movements, but you got done nevertheless.

A wonderful aroma came from the kitchen when you left, stomach grumbling in anticipation for the wonderful food you were about to scarf down. Mikasa was in the process of setting down both your breakfasts on the island, sitting down on the stools when you walked in. “Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” she greeted, resting her chin on her hands.

“Morning, sweet angel,” you replied, sitting at the stool beside her. In front of you was a plate of Funfetti pancakes with whipped cream instead of maple syrup (syrup was for pancakes only). There were a couple of cut up fruits beside them, too. “Where did you get these?” you asked, picking up your fork to take a bite of your breakfast.

Mikasa dug into her own breakfast of oatmeal as soon as you started eating. “Went grocery shopping and saw the mix in the baking aisle. I thought you’d like it,” she explained, taking a bite of her food. “Good?”

Your response was a moan, tilting your head back as you chewed. “Insanely,” you said, cutting up another bite. You stabbed the piece with your fork and guided it to Mikasa, keeping your hand under it to catch anything if it dropped.

She finished her bite and leaned in to take the bite, humming in satisfaction at the taste. “Good,” she nodded.

“They put like crack ‘n this shit,” you said through a full mouth, shoveling forkful after forkful into your mouth.

You could feel Mikasa's judging gaze for eating like a pig, but you didn’t care. All you cared about was eating these crack laced waffles as greedily as possible. “What time are you supposed to meet Eren today?” she asked to make conversation.

You remember drunkenly slurring to her that Eren was supposed to take you out for lunch today while she was trying to put you to bed. All she did was nod and dodge your flailing limbs while she tried to change you into your night clothes.

“Uhhh,” you trailed off, “I dunno actually. I think he’s gonna text me when.” The familiar notification from your phone indicated you had a text from Eren. “Right now.”

ren ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ - 9:04 AM picking u up at 12 dont be late

you - 9:04 AM k

ren ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ - 9:05 AM dont use k with me that makes me sad :(

you - 9:05 AM k

“He says 12,” you told Mikasa, setting your phone back down on the table. You went to go take another bite of your waffles, only to be met with stray bits of whipped cream and waffle crumbs. How disappointing.

“You have time to get ready then,” she said, finishing up the last bit of her own breakfast. Holding her plate, she got up to go put it in the sink, taking your plate for you as well. Literally an angel.

Suddenly, she leaned in to sniff you like the weird English professor you had your freshman year and cringed. “You’re gonna need all the time you can get. You stink.”

Never mind, not an angel.

Grumbling and cursing under your breath, you got off the stool to go take a shower. “And here I was about to offer to get you something for lunch while I was out.”

“A burger from the joint I like would be nice. So would a Coke and side of onion rings.”

“Size?”

“Medium for both.”

You would’ve caved in and bought her something, anyways. Might as well know what she wanted in the first place.

Showering took longer than expected. Most of your time got wasted by you standing under the shower stream and soaking in all the warmth. It wasn’t until Mikasa knocked on the door asking you not to use up all the hot water that made you actually start going through your routine.

The clock read 10:09 when you got out. You still had more time to kill until Eren came, so you elected to sit on your bed in your towel to scroll through social media. At 10:45, you started to get ready for real now.

Your makeup was just enough to cover any imperfections on your face, and your outfit cute enough for a lunch outing with your friend-fuckbuddy.

At 11:50, you stepped out into the living room with your belongings in hand to lounge around while you waited for Eren. You would’ve gone to bug Mikasa, but she had just stepped into the shower minutes prior.

12 on the dot, a rhythmic knocking was rapped on your door, meaning Eren was finally here. Skipping over to the door, you opened it to reveal him while slipping on your shoes.

“Hey,” he grinned when the door opened. He leaned in to give you a kiss on the lips after you’d straightened up from putting on your shoes.

A grin found its way on your lips during the kiss. It only lasted a couple of seconds, ending with you pulling away with a quiet smack. “Hi,” you greeted back.

“Ready to go?” he asked, one hand leaving his jacket pocket to jut his thumb down the hallway towards the elevators.

“Yup, ready,” you said. Over your shoulder, you yelled into the apartment to say goodbye to Mikasa and locking the door once you closed. “Okay, ready for real now.”

There was a new hot pot restaurant near campus, Eren told you, that he so desperately wanted to try. He overheard some people talking about the place in his Stats class, and he’s been wanting to go ever since.

“So, about what I told you last night,” he said, leaning on the table close to you after giving your orders to the waitress. “You said you would help me get Mina.”

“I said it was a bad idea,” you countered, taking a sip of your drink.

“But you said you would help me. For a price.”

“That I… did say,” you sighed. “What’s your plan?”

Smiling, he opened up his jacket and dug into the inner pockets, getting out a small notepad and a pen. Your eyebrows raised at the sight of them. “Okay,” he started, flipping through his notepad. “So I was thinking about it this morning, and this is what I have down so far.”

Sliding it towards you, he waited impatiently for you to read what he had.

Your lips pursed to prevent giggled from leaving your lips. Well, it was a plan, alright. Written in Eren’s chicken scratch of handwriting were a few very simple steps.

eren yaegers fool proof plan to get bitches get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. talk to mina to get her interested in you ✓ 2. get hot girl ((Y/N)) to pretend to be your gf and show you can be a good bf 3. get mina jealous so she wants you even more and not poopy thomas wanker 4. “break up” with (Y/N) and pretend to be sad 5. get mina to comfort you 6. get bitches make mina your gf 7. pay (Y/N) for her services 8. ta-da!

When you looked up from the notepad, you saw Eren waiting for your answer. “Well? What do you think? Is it any good?” he asked.

“Were you high when you wrote this?” was the first thing you asked him. Eren shook his head innocently. “You’re 100% serious?” He nodded.

You bit your lip, deep in thought about Eren’s supposedly fool proof plan. “What makes you think it’s gonna work?”

“I know girls and how they act. If Paradis University let me major in women -- don’t get smart with me I don’t mean Women Studies -- I would be passing all my classes with flying colors. I know it’ll work, trust me,” he said cockily, leaning back in his chair.

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do. I know you. I know everything about you, (Y/N). I even know how to make you scream my name in--”

“Okay!” you cut him off, not wanting the strangers around you to know the intimate details of your sex life with Eren. “Okay.”

“I knew you were gonna do that. See, I do know women.”

A moment or two passed, both of you staring at each other. You with a deadpan expression, and him with a proud one. You were the first one to break the silence with a heavy sigh. “Okay, say I agree to this. What do I get in return?”

“Anything you want,” he said. “Within reason, of course. Please don’t ask me to like, hide a body or something.”

Ignoring his last comment, you continued speaking, “You’re not allowed to back out of whatever I ask you to, right? If this plan fails or succeeds, you still owe me whatever you promised.”

Eren nodded. “Of course. I swear on it.” He shifted a little so his elbow was on the table, holding out a pinky. Instinctively, you held out your pinky as well and intertwined the both of them. Pinky promises were something you and Eren had been doing for years now. It meant that the other was dead serious on their promise.

The waitress came back with your broth and dipping ingredients, setting them on the table for you right when your pinkes left each other. Thanking the waitress, the two of you talked some more while you waited for the broth to heat up.

“We should make it official. With a contract and set of rules,” he said. “Like that one movie you forced me to watch with you. The Boys I Loved or some shit like that.”

“To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before,” you corrected.

“Yeah, that. They’re kinda doing something like us, yeah?”

“Guess so,” you shrugged, picking up your chopsticks and a sice of pork belly when the broth started to boil. “After we eat though.”

Idle chatter was shared between the two of you as you ate. Even though you saw each other nearly every day, you never ran out of things to talk to. You could be talking about complete nonsense or how quantum physics made no sense, and you would still have the best time of your life.

By now, the broth had been drunk up and the table had been cleared out to be replaced with banana milk and ice cream. Eren brought out his notepad again to write down the set of rules for your fake relationship while enjoying your desserts.

Good progress had been written so far on the notepad. Both of you had given input and criticism on each rule made. In the end, you finally had a good set of rules written down.

(Y/N) and erens contract and rules for eren yaegers fool proof plan to get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. act normally. eren and (Y/N) act like a couple already. just double the pda a little more 2. don’t tell anyone about the deal. the more people who believe in the relationship, the more likely it is for the plan to work 3. post each other on ig a lot. maybe add names and a date to bios to make it more believable 4. date night every saturday (go out or just hang out) 5. go to parties together 6. walk each other to class if you can 7. call each other cute pet names 8. after breaking up, the couple act has to stop including the sex 9. DON’T SLIP UP

payment for (Y/N):

Eren tapped a beat on the notepad, reading “payment” over and over again. Eventually he looked up at you, deep in thought. “Have you thought of anything so far?” he asked, clicking the pen to write what you wanted.

This was a tough decision. Eren was ready to give you anything to help him get Mina. You had to be wise and pick something big to take advantage of him. Something you were sure you wouldn’t ever regret getting.

“How about,” you started, trailing off, “you do my laundry for the rest of our time at ParadisU, buy me lunch every Wednesday even after we break up, recommend that godsend of a tutor you keep gatekeeping to help me too, and…”

“And?” Eren asked, looking up from his writing, waiting for your next words.

“All the orgasms I want during our relationship,” you finished, satisfied with what you chose.

“Is that all?” he asked, writing down the last of your words. “That’s a lot.”

“How about I let you know if I wanna add more,” you said. Eren nodded in response. His head hung to look at the notepad again, writing something down. Once he was done, he plaed the pen on the pad and slid it to you.

“Sign it so it’s official,” he instructed.

There were two lines beside each other, one already with Eren’s signature. Without hesitation, you signed your name neatly on the paper, giving the items back to Eren once you were done.

(Y/N) and erens contract and rules for eren yaegers fool proof plan to get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. act normally. eren and (Y/N) act like a couple already. just double the pda a little more 2. don’t tell anyone about the deal. the more people who believe in the relationship, the more likely it is for the plan to work 3. post each other on ig a lot. maybe add names and a date to bios to make it more believable 4. date night every saturday (go out or just hang out) 5. go to parties together 6. walk each other to class if you can 7. call each other cute pet names 8. after breaking up, the couple act has to stop including the sex 9. DON’T SLIP UP

payment for (Y/N): eren has to do the (Y/N)’s laundry for the rest of university, buy her lunch ever wednesday, get tutor to help her and give her as many orgasms as she wants during the course of the relationship

signed x eren yaeger x (y/n) (l/n)

The two of you shook hands when Eren put away his things, to seal the deal again. The waitress came by again to give you the bill and collect your dirty dishes. Eren set down the cash needed to pay along with a tip in the check presenter before the two of you left.

You walked hand in hand back to Erens car before you realized you missed something. “Wait. What do we tell people when they ask how we got together?” you asked, pausing in your tracks.

Eren stopped with you, turning to look at you. “Um, you can say I confessed after lunch, and that this is technically our first date,” he suggested, tugging your hand to walk back to the car.

“Huh. Okay. That works,” you nodded.

The two of you got into the car a little bit past 2:30 in the afternoon, ready to go home. “Wait,” you said again, making Eren pause. “Mikasa wanted a burger from that one joint near our apartment. Could you take me there first?”

Eren smiled and nodded, starting the car. “Of course. Burger with medium Coke and onion rings?”

“How did you know?”

“She always gets that when we go there.”

“Huh… I guess you’re right.”

“When am I not?”

"Always."

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