#dont go in the woods spoilers
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just finished the magnus protocol after binging 20 episodes in like three days max. anyway i wanna curl up in a ball and cry
#a biscuit's rambles#tmagp#the magnus protocol#i dont think thats a spoiler i dont think anyone expected anything less#anyway i will go scream in the woods tonight
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Sometimes I REALLY hate this game (aka. Fire emblem in general)
I've been going through all the training battles before I go onto the main thing for chapter 12. For completionism and also bc I fucking Need the training, holy shit
Anyways I got one for the rainy map from chapter 11. Aka where I was running my life. It was awful then, but WAY WAY WAY WORSE now. Bc they skattered my army across the entire map, some of whom are Very squishy, and gave us over twice as many enemies as I had units, almost all flying, and All of them advanced classes
It was a massacre. Unit after unit falling. Me desperately trying to get the survivors across the map so they could help each other survive. Hiding in the woods in hopes of them missing me, bc being out in the open is a death sentence.
One by one, my units fell. My Healers all fell. My Mages all fell. A few lingered through luck alone... but then it was down to 3. From an original 12.
Me, Alcryst, and Louis. I'd been trying to protect Alcryst bc he's my archer and there were SO. SO SO SO many fliers. I never did get him over to me. I sent Louis over to assist me bc my ass kept DYING & that gets a game over lol. So imagine a dragon princess just guzzling potions in the woods as her armor friend throws javelins over her shoulder. I made it work.
Poor fucking Alcryst though. Stuck in the woods alone, having watched the 3 around him all fall, clinging to his mini bow bc he was literally SURROUNDED and couldn't attack anything otherwise. Also guzzling potions. The literal only reason he didn't fucking die was luck alone. Those fucking woods, man. They made all the difference.
Not that it stopped me from dying like 4 times from like 13% chance hits :) I used that time reversal feature more in this battle than I have Ever before in this game.
#speculation nation#engage spoilers/#genuinely surprised i won that bc i still had like 10 enemies left when it was down to just 3#once the last healer went down i was Convinced i was gonna lose. but i kept going anyways bc im stubborn#see the problem is that positioning is everything in this game. especially on hard mode.#the squishies gotta go behind the higher defense units. healing the higher defense units so they can take all the hits#you have to be careful with your surroundings. pay attention to who can reach who. and account for it.#but this map? there was none of that. there was absolutely no hiding anywhere. bc the enemies were EVERYWHERE#and they could all FLY so they werent even impeded by the woods. it just made it harder for them to hit you.#so all the squishes died so quickly. i tried to protect them the best i could but they were gone Just Like That#Louis was the literal only one who was unbothered but that's bc he's got a Godly level of defense. i love armored units.#i felt so bad for Alcryst. the moment where he was surrounded on all four sides by enemies & below 25% health#i selected his unit and he made this miserably terrified noise. a resigned fear like he Knew he was going to die#that's the moment i switched him to the mini bow. had him down a vulnerary. and was like. Good Luck.#and he somehow managed to pull through!!!! it was very Very close.#like. man this entire battle was almost cinematic for how disastrous it was. yet how i still managed to pull through.#says smth about how good i am at this game maybe. hard mode will Not keep me down#also yea yea i know i dont Have to play hard mode. listen. i enjoy being forced to think extra hard about tactics#i love fire emblem For The Tactics. if it's too easy it's no fun!#i love a good challenge. unfortunately this time wasnt even that fun bc i didnt get anything good in the end :/#just battle experience. for the handful that survived lmfao.#but you know what i made it through and that's what matters.
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this one under a cut not bc its triggering its just kind of spoilery if you care about those things

ooooooo the girls are fighting
#I wish I could go back in time#and experience this for the first time again#it's so fucking unexpected and funny I love him#and also sad as fuck!!#I have to stop soon bc I dont want to spoil too much for my rp blog#and also#I dont want to cry in the woods LOL#ph posting#spoilers //
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WE WON LETS FREAKIN GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway,, thoughts on the leak
#*insert elijah wood as bacchus dot jpeg*#star wars#star wars jedi series#cal kestis#ITS PINK TOO (at least the default. based on other customization options it must have several colors)#WE STAY WINNING#UGH IM SO HAPPY#jedi survivor spoilers#MAYBE????#just to be safe~#PONCHO PONCHO PONCHO PONCHO PONCHO#FAV#dont lose#cherry thoughts#my greatest accomplishment in life (i didnt do anything)#i dont have a console but if i ever get to play. yall better believe ill be going nowhere without that thing#first stop: this dang chest !!!!!!#im never getting over this
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Can you do that for me?
Pairings: ruined!Jayce x f!reader
NSFW/MDNI
Masterlist

Summary: Formerly partners, you've started a new business in Zaun after Jayce's disappearance. One day, after hearing whispers of Victor's apparent evolution, Jayce shows up unannounced.
Wordcount: 4.2 k
Warnings: Some canon stuff (beware spoilers), pinv sex, angst, fluff, fingering, slight handjob, choking, biting, creampie, doggy, missionary, cowgirl (a lot of positions), sub/dom/switch!Jayce, power struggle, fight for dominance, praise (f and m recieving), spanking, overstimulation, "I love you", difficult feelings, hot depraved Jayce.
AN: Not proofread, I intend to make a few changes to it later but wanted to get it out. Might be spelling mistakes. I tried to fit a bit of everything into this. ENJOY GIRLIES🎀

Having pulled the curtains aside, a vigilant man inspects the dark streets below. "He's almost here, ma'am," the man says, eyes following the subject. There's a slight stiffnes to his stance, as if he's readying himself for a fight. "What do you want us to do?"
"Let him in," she smiles at him faintly, attempting to reassure the large man before returning to her paperwork. "Dont give him trouble, there's nothing to fear."
The guard nods slowly and crosses the room to leave, he knows she's right. Yet, he stays in the doorway, shoulders slumped and arms crossed.
Warm light creeps in through the entryway, contrasting the faint light that Zauns streetlights provide for her otherwise gloomy office.
Noticing how the strong wash of light remains, she looks up at her guard to find another question lingering on his lips. "I've know you long enough to tell when something ails you." She leans back in her chair.
He catches her gaze reluctantly, facing away before he speaks. The man clears his throat, he knows he's crossing a line. "He's trouble, if you ask me. The boys and I-"
The woman pulls her glasses of and sighs, done with her work for the evening. "Im a big girl, I can handle myself."
The guard leans against the doorway and shrugs in reluctant recognition. "We're worried for you, ma'am-" but catching himself on his words, his hands gesture to remedy his meaning. "Respectfully, of course," he ads quickly, aversed to insult his employer.
The woman stands slowly, walking around her crammed desk to casually prop herself next to him. "I know," she reassures, placing a soft hand on his chest. "But I'll be fine, send him in."
The large man huffs. "We'll be outside then," he begins, but as the next words begin to form on his tongue, he decides against it, solely out of trust for his employer. If he could, he would've added 'when you need us'.
She doesnt doubt it, nor does she take offence. They're a tight knit family down here, she cares for them as much as they do her. But this would be an interaction no family member should hear. "That won't be necessary, keep to the foyer . . . Now go," she hurries him, careful to keep an understanding smile on her lips lest he changes his mind.
With a heavy breath and one last glance, the guard reluctantly closes the door and heavy footsteps recede.
She sighs, moving to brace her hands against the desktop and preparing herself for whats to come, for what she suspects.
She lights the lantern on her desk and waits. Only a moment later the same warm light creeps into the room. She twitches, unprepared for his arrival inspite of her efforts as the squeaking door slices through the eerily silent space.
In her peripheral, a fallen man stands. He's tired and dirty. Cut up and run down. There's a moment of contemplation between her and the newcomer, she does not move and neither does he. It's been a long time.
Squeak, thump, click . . . Pause. He's locked the door. A heavy thud between metal and wood sounds next, there's a faint sound of coarse skin sliding along fine metal before the familiar vibrations of hextech dies out.
All that exists between them now is heavy breathing in two parts, laboring against their own minds and bodies.
The floorboards begin to creek, irregularly, as if the weight placed upon them has not yet decided it's course of action. She grips the desktop harder, fingernails burrying into fine wood. She can only guess why he has come. "It's Viktor, isn't it?" She breathes, trying hard to keep her voice steady.
She gets no response, the only answer she recieves is the creeking of floorboards as the uncertain weight shifts back and forth. But that is all the answer she needs.
Having seamingly made up his mind, determined footsteps approach her in a sudden haste. Srong arms wrap around her body, pulling her toward a hard chest in a tight, tight embrace. His head collides with her shoulderblade as he burries his face in her scent. Muffled by her body, strained breaths blow welcome warmth onto her skin.
"What's happened?" She whispers, not entirely sure she wants the answer for she can smell him now. Metal and gunpowder. But it's not the type raw metal used for smithing or creating, it's not the metal she's used to. No, this is pungent, corporeal. It's blood. "Jayce, please . . . " She begins, 'talk to me' her lips shape, but no sound comes out. Unable to muster the strength.
"Cant- I cant . . . talk about it. Not now, not yet," he manages, voice rough as if he has fought and damp breath raising goosebumps on her neck. "I just . . . Needed you. I need you."
A strong hand slides higher, knuckles intently brushing the underside of her breast. "Can't think anymore."
And inspite of her better judgement. "Ok," she agrees, whispering, as if her consience wouldnt be able to hear. She's missed him, worried for him. So, her body betrays her.
Laying her hand on top of his, she guides him over the hill of her breast.
His breath hitches while his other hand move downward, tracing her ribs, down her waist, stopping on her thigh and squeezing tenderly. Soft flesh dimpling beneath the force of strong fingers. "I've been lost, " his voice breaks. "Missed you." His hands slide further down to slither under the slit in her dress.
"No feelings right now, Jayce . . . Please, just-"
Two fingers slip inside of her and she gasps. "No feelings," he assures, placing a gentle kiss on her neck.
"Good, good . . . " she moans.
While massaging her breast his thumb finds her clit and tongue her neck, gently nipping and sucking on the crook of her neck. Her body grows to weak to hold itself upright so she puts her weight on her arms. Noticing, he holds her tighter and pushes her weight against the desk. "Already?" He whispers, dragging his teeth along the shell of her ear as his fingers steadily thrusts in and out of her. "You're making it too easy for me."
A breathless chuckle leaves her, crammed between heavy groans. "You work with your hands . . . Mmmh, unfair advantage."
He bites her earlobe, tugging, teasing. "So do you, if I remember correctly." A grin twists her lips as her hand reaches between them and palms his enlarged bulge. He hisses as she begins to stroke it, heat immedietly surfacing as the friction between fabric and skin grows. "Mhhg, that's what I thought," he groans. "Good girl."
He pushes a third finger inside off her, curling them at just the right angle.
"Fuck!" Her free hand curls into a fist, joints having nothing better to do than occupy themselves in anyway they can. He puts more focus on her clit, rubbing dutyful circles into and and finally pushes her over the edge. "Mhh, shit-"
His fingers slow down as she hits her high, gently leading her through it as he supports her weight. "Just breathe, that's right . . . "
Her breathing has become a mixture of moans and wheezes, the pleasure stimulating every nerve in her body. "Did you . . . ?" She asks, suddenly remember her hand on his clothed member.
"No," he whispers and kisses her temple. "Theres time." He tries to turn her around. But fear grips her. "No-" she stops him, gripping the edge of the desk to keep herself in place. Seeing the changes up close would make them real, would make whatever he has come from, real. "I can't look at you . . . not yet." She reaches over her shoulder to cup his jaw, and just like that, their bubble of reminiscence bursts. They arent colleagues anymore and havent been for a long time. Nor is their third party longer there to rationalise with them. A shrap jab strikes her heart. "Give me time, and just," her other hand reaches behind her, grabbing the fabric on his hip to pull him closer, pressing his erection against the curve of her ass. "Like this for now, Jayce. Please . . ."
His head lulls against her back, pushing his forehead firmly into her spine whilst releasing a big, shaky breath. She can feel him bare his teeth, silently working through the consequences of his actions.
He doesn't answer, he only obeys.
It goes silent for a short moment, until the warmth on her hips disappear and the metal clanging of a belt buckle sounds behind her.
Quickly, one hand returns to her thigh to pull her dress over her ass.
"Dont hold back," she says.
There's a pause in his movements. "Are you certain?"
She nods and he wastes no time. Pushing himself against her, his knees spread her legs efficiently, just liked they've practiced many times before. With no further warning, he sinks into her. One hand crossing over her waist as the other grabs her shoulder, then sets a ruthless pace.
Somehow she knows he needs to get this out of him, the pent of fury and need. But she doesnt complain, he always knew what he was doing.
The sound of slapping fills her office, while the lewd squelching from her previous orgasm further spurs them on. He bends over her, changing his grip. Fingers snaking around her throat as his knee and free hand work together to fish one of her legs onto the desk, hitting her deeper, harder. His thrusts are no longer about speed, but of that one special little spot.
He puts pressure on her throat, almost painstakingly so. But it feels heavenly and she wouldn't have it any other way.
With each rut, his members perfectly fills her. His face is next to hers and he kisses had bites around her neck and ear, making sure she knows how good he makes her fell by grunting and moaning right into her ear. It makes that pulsing in her core worse, and he seems to notice.
"Yeah, you like that?" He groans, kissing her soft skin right behind the ear.
"Mmmhmm," she hums, voice vibrating with the bumping of their bodies. Doing her best to keep silent, afraid that one of her guards suddenly decides to check up on her.
"Let me hear you, use your words," he breathes, flexing the fingers around her throat and biting her shoulder.
"Fuck-" her knuckles and nails take turns in destroying her desk, scratching and denting the expensive wood grain. "I like making you, mmh . . . feel good." She manages, words stuttering between thrusts.
He gently pulls on her ear with his teeth. "Good," he whispers, then releases her throat and places his hand on the back of her neck, pushing her against the desktop.
Slap. His hands comes down on her ass, then gripping the plump flesh hard to lessen some of the stinging. A jolt of electricity shoots through her and her insides clench arouns him.
Jayce whimpers from the sudden, godlike pleasure. "Wanna hear you, honey, don't be shy." His hand comes down again, harder this time.
She squeezes around him, nerves on fire as she feels her second climax building up inside her. She moans as tears run down her face, happy pleasurable tears only Jayce has been able to produce.
"That's it . . ." He slaps her ass a third time, and the wall inside her core crumbles. With a whimper, she comes. "You did so good, lovely, im almost there," he assures her. Tears stream down her face as his thrusts grow irregular, but continues to pleasure her body. "Fuck," she cries, squirming from the drawn out orgasm. One hand holds her steady at the hip while the other slides up her back, rubbing her tender body until he brushes away stray hair from her profile.
"Hold on a little longer, just breathe, baby," he comforts her, such a stark contrast to the rough thrusts he's been dealing her body. Her fingers are jittery from the overstimulation, they ached to touch him, pull his hair, anything. But she can not reach, so she presses her palms against the table to keep them occupied.
As he sees her tear streaked face, one last blow lands on her ass and he too, comes. He collapses on top of her, they attempt to regain their strength as their sweaty bodies lie flush against eachother.
After a few moments of breathing heavily together, Jayce wraps an arm around her torso and splays his hand over her rips, pulling her with him as he straightens out.
Taking a deep breath, she closes her eyes and turns around. Hands finding his face, guiding her lips to his.
"Please look at me, my beautiful girl. Look at me," he pleads, murmuring the words against her lips.
She opens her eyes and his breath hitches. Yellow, brown irises meet her won. They're the exact same ones she knew not too long ago. Except . . . Haunted.
His fingers brush along her cheek, jaw and down her throat. She winces at the soft touch and his brows furrow in confusion.
Capturing her chin, he tilts her head back.
"It's fine, I'm fine," she whispers, assuring him as she sees his expression. Pure shock animates them.
"I don't-" his fingers trace the red marks running around her throat and tears begin to form in the corners of his eyes. "Im so sorry." He falls to his knees, hands resting against her chins as he hides his face between them. "I don't know-" he chokes and kisses her legs with remorse. He pecks her delicately, trailing his lips over her knees and up her thighs, hands following behind, tracing the outside of her legs until they reach her waist and encircle her. He hugs her tightly, knees sore against the hard wood. "Im not right," he breathes, head lulling into her lap. She can feel wetness coating her skin, running between her thighs.
She exhales heavily and slides down the desk until the hard wooden floor welcomes her thighs.
They stay like this for a good long while, she's in no rush and neither is he. Over and over again, her fingers comb through his overgrown and unpreened hair while the sensation of his seed drips out of her. Sharp nails gently scratch at the nape of his neck, they trace his bonestructure and play with its halls and valleys. The back of her fingers caress the length of his nose and sharpness of his cheekbone.
All the while Jayce lays wordless, occasionally squeezing her thighs, her hips. Occasionally trailing featherlight touches along her legs, watching with wonder how goosebumps rise and fall.
She chuckles beneath her breath. It's the same expression he used to get when making progress in the lap, just like when they first cracked the hextech runes. "Jayce," she says, attempting to grab his attention.
Crouching beneath her, he looks up from her lap, chin resting on the softness of her flesh. His face glistens and eyes plead. He looks at her with fatigue, wordlessly asking for her forgiveness.
"What happened?" She asks, her voice soft but words demanding. She's not getting dersuled this time, she needs answers.
He shakes his head, reluctantly drawing his lips into a thin line as he breaks away from her gaze.
Her eyebrows twist together. "What have you done?" She asks, anger laces her tone now. But he closes his eyes, the corners of his eyes gleaming again. The fingers burried in his hair curl into a fist and she pulls his head back, forcing him look at her. "What. Have. You. Done?"
His eyes shift between hers, uncertain, unwilling. "He's gone . . . " He begins. "I had to, I had to–the hexcore, it was poisoning him, spreading like a disease." His voice is coarse. "I had to stop him, there was no other choice."
Her eyes grow. Viktor . . . Gone? She could only assume when Jayce suddenly pays her a visit, but never dared believe.
"I never ment to leave you," he says, hand reaching out to grab her waist. "You have to believe me." He rouches the fabric at the waist, white knuckling it out of desperation for an ounce of u derstanding. "Hextech isnt what we thought it was, not anymore. Viktor couldnt see it, he was infecting the undercity, it would've spread to Piltover, the rest of the world if I didn't stop him."
She shakes her head in disbelief. "But he was saving them, freeing them of shimmer."
"No . . . they weren't themselves anymore. I've been away, lost. I've seen–" She waits for him to continue, but he doesn't. "The hexcore mutates them, changes them. I had to stop him. It, the core."
Her eyes drift the Jayce's hammer posted by the door. "Like your hammer?" She studies the now misshapen weapon, once crafted with obsessive precision. Her eyes drift lower along the neck and over its face, blood splatter.
She looks away, closing her eyes to recollect herself. Remembering to strongly the smell of blood Jayce had arrived with.
"Yes," he says. "Like I did." His hand reaches up to loosely cup her face. She notices how the crystal from his old bracelet has fused with his skin. Her fingers run along his arm and slides along the crystal, feeling it, inspecting it. "I didn't chose this," he murmurs. "I didn't chose to leave you . . . I love you." His hand falls back to his side.
She's taken aback. Its not something they've said before, not while still partners, not before all of, this . . . But despite herself, she believes him. They were colleagues for a long time and affection had always kept them together. He wouldn't hurt Viktor without reason.
With hooded eyes and parted lips, he studies her, waiting for her judgement.
"You had to," she nods, seamingly decided.
Relief and disappointment floods his face all at once. He'd expected an 'I love you' back.
She leans in, kissing him for the first time since he disappeared. Finally reunited. "We'll get through this, ok?" her voice is uncertain, what's happened has not been fully processed.
"Ok," he agrees and straightens his back, carefully placing small kisses along her abdomen as he does so, afraid he'll scare her away. "I've missed you so damn much." He levels his head with hers, meeting her gaze head on.
"I've missed you too," she responds. "But I need you now, Jayce. Can you do that for me?" She places a soft kiss on his lips.
"Certainly," he murmurs against them.
She stands, slinding his hand into hers and leads him to the bed. With his back to the bed, she places her hands on his chest and pushes him into sitting at the edge of the bed.
One leg over the other, she straddles him, standing on her knees so he has to look up at her. His she brushes the hair away from his eyes and lowers her lips to ghost over his. Their scared and quivering, needy to be on hers.
His hands slide up her sides and curves around her back, coming to rest in the arch above her ass. Gently, he massages circles into her skin, tickling her intentionaly.
She squirms beneath his touch, luring a satisfied grin from him. "You look good like this." Her fingers run through his beard, tracing his new scars. "Dangerous." Reaching down between them and into his pants, she pulls Jayce's member free and lowers herself just enough to tease his tip.
With a hiss, he locks his thumb over her hipbones and wanting to guide her onto him.
She shakes her head, a smirk playing in the corner of her lips. "My turn," she whispers and pull the straps of her dress down, letting it gather at her hips. Jayce's eyes immeidetly fall as his hands slide up her ribs with a specific destination in mind. "Dont touch," she warns. "Now look at me, Jayce." Her chest is inches from his face, but unallowed to look and unable to touch, his eyes appear like that of a wounded stag.
Her nimble fingers work on the buttons of his shirt and quickly slides it off of his shoulders. "Ive missed this," she purs, dragging a finger down his torso, her nail leaving a white scratched up mark behind it. "But this is new," she refers to the chest hair she's never seen before. "I like that, too." Her lips meet his jaw as she leaves kisses all the way down to his collarbone and shoulder. Her continues down his abdomen and below his v-line, then there's a sharp intake of breath as she stokes his member, circling the leaking pre-cum around his tip.
"Devil woman," he groans, but there's a twisted smile to his lips.
She returns it and takes a step back, letting the dress fall completely as if wanting to prove his point and oh, how she revels in the desperation on his face.
Her gaze fixes on his hands, clenching and unclencing in his lap, knuckles white from the strain. She bites her lip. "You look good like this," she repeats. "All, fallen apart . . . " She steps closer, placing herself between his legs. "Bloody and broken."
Never has he taken his eyes off of hers, and as she lowers herself onto his lap once more, she finds his member and lines him up. And finally, she sinks onto his thick inches. Still, he does not touch her. There is only a desperate whimper leaving his lips at the much needed pressure. Obedient, or respcetful? Either way, he deserves his praise. "Good boy. Now, touch me," she whispers and topple them over.
He twitches inside her at the words, but before she can react he's upon her. Fitting one breast into his mouth and the other in his hand, he licks and spits and squeezes. Sucking the entierty of her tender, plush flesh into his mouth.
"Ooh," she braces herself, strings of pleasure and heavy breaths return to them. "You liked that didn't you, pretty boy?" All she gets in response is humming between the lewd, obscene slurping.
Alright, then. Putting a hand on his chest for support, she begins to move, rocking back and forth just watching his expression of pleased torture.
Moving his hands to her hips, lips tear free from her breast for some much needed air, only to replace them upon her lips and kiss her with fervour.
She sits up, getting a better vantage and he follows not long thereafter. Unable to sit by and let her do the work. Leaning back on one hand and wrapping the other around her back, he helps her rut against him while he can't softly thrust up to meet her. "Fuck me- Jayce . . . " She gasps, hardly able to get enough air to moan.
He grins against her lips, sharing their breaths. "You liked that didn't you, pretty girl?" He mocks her.
She laughs breathlessly and digs her nails into his biceps. "Naughty," she murmurs and bites his lip, drawing blood. Again, she feels his member twitch amidst all the rocking between them. Their eyes meet and share a knowing glance. She cocks an eyebrow, he blushes. "That's what I thought," she smirks. It's her win, for now.
Unable to let it slide, Jayce takes the reigns. Flipping them over, he pins her beneath him without missing a single thrust. Amidst the confusion, he interlocks their fingers and pulls her arms above her head, stretching her out and limiting her movement.
She squirms against his restrains, testing the limits but he's rock solid. With her legs around his waist, he thrust perfectly into her and she cant help but roll her hips. She can feel the knot tightening in her core and she furrows her brows with displeasure. Missionary always did her in, he'll win. "Unfair," she moans, throwing her head back as waves of pleasure wash over her with every movement of his hips.
He moves one pair of their locked hands down so ha can stroke her throat with his thumb, placing soft kisses on the damage he caused.
His tenderness alone could cause her to crumble. "Put your back into it at least," she whines, realising she only had her pettiness left. Being beneath him, in his control feels way better than any win she could earn.
A breathless chuckle leaves him. "Yes, ma'am," he grunts, releases her and pulls out before he hooks her legs over his shoulders and thrusts back in. Hands finally free, she cups his face and pulls him in for a kiss concealing the cries bubbling up in her throat. For as it stands, he moves expertly and he's deeper–better than any man ever has been. "Fuck me-"
He smirks. "Tell me I'm good, again . . . " Shes uncertain if this is his ego talking or- "Please, please tell me im good," he whimpers, kissing her inbetween every word.
Without warning her third orgasm washes over her, back arching and nails digging into Jayce's cheeks. "You're so good to me," she sobs. "Such a good boy."
His thrusts falter and then he too, comes. Filling her with his seed, once again.
With shaking limbs he falls to her side, one arm draped over her chest. Both breathing heavily as they regain their senses.
"You win," ge admits and kisses her temple.
Yes she does. "I love you, too," she smiles, heart and teeth achingly sweet.

#arcane#arcane smut#jayce smut#jayce talis#jayce talis smut#jayce talis x reader#jayce talis x you#arcane x reader#arcane jayce
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i would say i'm at one extreme or the other, but i think i'm just the type of person to get locked into projects and ideas to the point of forgetting to eat or drink but feeling like i can't breathe if i'm not working on said project. From this Connor fan art to writing legal documents,
I think I'm just like this
a person of extremes - I've always seen autism as a condition of extremes. You're extremely sensitive or desensitized to any given condition. You hone in on certain things and everything else just doesn't exist.
Lately I haven't guilted myself for things.
I've been watching the Decharts' first playthrough of Detroit: Become Human and it'll make me so nervous. It took me a bit to realize that I keep waiting for something to go wrong. Like just out of the corner of my eye, someone's gonna get in trouble, someone's gonna get pissed. Sometimes I close my eyes and I just hear screaming. But it's just people playing a video game and being normal and positive. The real way I should say this is people expressing emotions in a normal way but that idea kinda suffocates me? Or thinking about how other people act pushes me into "not feeling like a real person territory" because I don't know how I act or how I feel.
i just kinda feel bad rn
I want to watch their Night in the Woods playthrough. I just finished the Bea route when I was in Kentucky and when Mae finally told Bea why she left college, I h
i can feel the blood leave my fingers
it's like each of my atoms are a separate entity from the other
Things just don't seem real.
I start speech therapy again in 7 hours and I have a new clinician and I'm scared.
My fixation on Connor is a ploy to both interact with the issues that I can't handle while also being another level of separation from it. My fixation on most things are like that. Emotional blindness, facial blindness, they just don't seem like they're real. I'm trying to look into a blindspot.
Why does trying to talk about the emotions someone else experienced feel like a crime.
Why do I want to talk about it?
I can see the words there, but if I try to type them out -
ugh.
I get a headache.
I can't let the words exist on a screen where someone else will see them. And it's not even about anything.
Or I say that last part defensively.
When Kara and Alice escaped from Todd and Amelia cried I wanted to cry - I could understand why she was crying. I think I understood why it made me want to cry.
The few times I looked at someone and really understood what they were feeling - I could count on one hand. My best friend's face as she looked up at with me a depth of anxiety and worry, to a magnitude I could both comprehend and could never describe is a moment I'll never forget.
In those moments where I understood what someone was feeling (even if we can never truly understand why) everything felt real - and grounded - and makes a type of sense that I only want to call weird because it's so rare to me.
It just occurred to me that I'm describing empathy.
I guess I was caught off guard when I was moving books around last Sunday and had a surprise moment of empathy while listening to a video game stream. With a stranger. From 5 years ago. time isn't real! And I feel like I get in trouble if anyone finds out!!!!
I have always been called a grounding type of person - to the point where I use it when people come to me in distress. But I don't talk about why I think I'm "so grounding." This space between someone in complete disarray and my understanding of it becomes a paradoxical anchor for them. Because I don't react. I don't freak out - because I don't understand what I'm seeing.
I understand that they're feeling - but I don't understand. I can catch that first moment to see what does the hysterically sobbing person need (whether it's normalcy, grounding, to lean into the pain... and as long as I'm relatively fine myself).
But I don't get why any of it is happening. What comes out of their or my mouth. None of it feels like it's happening.
When she cried, I wanted to cry. And it was another moment where things felt real.
#tw ed implied#night in the woods spoiler#nitw spoilers#vent#i guess?#i always say im going to bed but then i dont#and i'm trying not to turn back on my decision to have this exist where someone else can see it...#augh my head ahhh#journal
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❛ It's your first !! Gotta be soft !! ❜



Iguro Obanai X Fem!Reader
WC; 3.4k+ (somehow)| !MDNI! | TW/CW :: nervous!reader, virgin!reader, lovesick!obanai, virgin!obanai, cherry popping, soft sex, gentle sex, oba is rlly soft and love you sm, piv, smut with plot? set in season 5 but no spoilers, kaburamaru slithers away smw when it gets heated dw
⋆·˚ ༘ *𝑅𝐸𝒬𝒰𝐸𝒮𝒯 :: (filled request) I was wondering if you could do reader’s first time with him, and I just head cannon Iguro to be absolutely lovesick with his partner and gentle like how he is with Mitsuri in canon so could you do it with like a nervous!reader x lovesick!Iguro’s first time doing it - ANON
this ended up being over 3k words, dont ask me how
m.list | demon slayer m.list

You had to take a break from training today, so you found yourself watching Obanai beating up the children who trained under him. However, you found yourself nervously fidgeting on the sidelines, watching Obanai as he demonstrated a particularly complex technique through the wood structures.
Your heart pounded in your chest, both from the intensity of the training and the way Obanai's gaze lingered on you whenever he thought no one was watching. Despite his stern exterior and sharp words for others, he had always been different from you—gentle, kind, and unbelievably patient.
He does love you after all.
Obanai's eyes flickered to you again, his concentration momentarily broken. The sight of you, nervously playing with the hem of your haori, made his heart ache with a longing he struggled to contain. He was lovesick for you, utterly devoted, and the thought of you consumed his mind.
As he guided the other Hashira through the rigorous exercises, his thoughts drifted to the times you spent together. The quiet moments when he could hold you close, feeling the warmth of your body against his, and the soft, timid whispers of your voice that soothed his troubled soul. He yearned for more of those moments, but there was a deeper, more primal desire that had begun to take root.
His mind wandered to the idea of having you in a more intimate way, a way you had not yet explored together. The thought sent a shiver down his spine, and he had to force himself to focus back on the training.
He wanted you, in every sense of the word, but he was determined to be patient, knowing your timid nature. He didn't want to rush you or make you feel uncomfortable.
The day dragged on, and the training ended. Obanai immediately sought you out, his expression softening the moment he saw you waiting for him.
"How was your day?" he asked, his voice gentle as he approached you.
"It was alright," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. "Watching you was... impressive, as always."
He smiled beneath his mask, he only smiled for you. "Thank you. Let's go somewhere quiet. I want to spend some time with you."
You nodded, your heart racing as he led you away from the training grounds of his estate to the room the two of you shared. Well, you weren't currently living with him yet, but you hoped to in the future.
It was peaceful as the two of you sat outside on the edge of the path that trailed around the house, your legs dangling off of the edge, accompanied by the soft rustle of trees.
Obanai sat down, pulling you gently to sit closer beside him. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. "I've missed you," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.
"I missed you too," you replied, leaning into his embrace. The warmth of his body against yours was comforting, and you felt a sense of peace wash over you.
He tilted your chin up, his mismatched eyes locking onto yours. "I think about you all the time," he confessed, his voice aching with longing. "I want you, in every way possible. But I don't want to rush you. I want you to be comfortable, to feel safe with me."
Your heart skipped a beat at his words, and you could see the sincerity in his eyes. "I... I feel safe with you, Obanai," you whispered, your cheeks flushing. "I'm just... nervous."
He smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "That's okay. We can take things slow. I just want you to know how much I care about you, how much I love you."
You looked up at him, your eyes shining. "I love you too, Obanai. I'm just not used to feeling this way, but I want to be with you."
He pulled you closer, unravelling the bandages around his mouth, his lips brushing against yours in a tender kiss. "We'll take it one step at a time," he murmured against your lips. "As long as we're together, that's all that matters."
But the kiss wasn't tender for too long. Obanai had slipped his tongue into your mouth and a gasp fell out of your lips. You dripped his haori in surprise, eyes momentarily widening before closing them in contentment.
Obanai's tongue was entangling with your own and you almost didn't know what to do. It obviously wasn't the first time that the two of you had made out but it still made you nervous under his touch. He was towering over you, his hand entangled in your hair as he tilted your face up and an arm wrapped tightly around your waist.
You felt as if you were going to faint when he was getting into it, more than usual, your heart was beating so fast you thought you were going to pass out. You didn't even know what to do, Obanai was dominating you in such a loving way it made your tummy swell with butterflies and an unfamiliar throbbing fall to your clit.
You were beginning to not be able to intake any breaths and you tense underneath Obanai's touch. You truly were getting more and more flustered by the minute. Leaning into Obanai's hold, you tapped quickly on his shoulder and he pulled away from the kiss alarmed, not even realising your flustered and breathless state causing his eyes to widen in worry.
He leaned back slightly to see if you were okay, mentally cursing himself for being too intense with you. Your forehead was leaning on his shoulder while your hands trembled, clenching his black and white striped haori.
"I'm so sorry," Obanai hastily uttered and in reply, you nodded your head against his shoulder.
"It's okay," you reassured quietly.
What Obanai didn't see was how red your cheeks were and how hot your body felt on the inside, this sensation was absolutely overwhelming and you didn't know what to do.
"Are you-"
You lifted your head up after a few seconds, hoping that you had calmed yourself down but it didn't really work.
"I am!" you replied, interrupting him.
Obanai's eyes widened when he saw the state of you. Your cheeks were flushed in a deep shade of a pinkish red and your hands were trembling on his shoulders. What he felt just then, what he is realising is that he can feel how hot your body is heating up.
You didn't know what this need was so you hesitantly asked Obanai, "could I... kiss you again?" you asked with a quiet voice, looking down, not wanting to meet his gaze in fear he said no.
Oh, how silly you were, you could kiss Obanai whenever you wanted, with or without asking and he would just fall even more in love with you.
Obanai's eyes softened, and he leaned down, brushing his lips against mine. "You don't need to ask," he whispered against your mouth, his voice filled with warmth and longing.
You hesitantly wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as our lips met once more. This time, the kiss was deeper, more intense. You could feel the electricity between us, a magnetic pull that made it impossible to resist each other.
your hands explored the contours of his back, feeling the strength and warmth of his muscles. Obanai's hands moved with a gentle but insistent touch, tracing the lines of your body, and making you shiver with anticipation.
As our bodies pressed closer, you could feel Obanai's heartbeat against mine, a steady rhythm that matched the intensity of our emotions. You wanted to memorize every sensation, every touch, knowing that this moment was a testament to the depth of our relationship.
Obanai's lips left mine, trailing a path of kisses down your neck, making you gasp with pleasure. His hands moved with a tender urgency, exploring the curves of your body with a reverence that made you feel cherished and loved.
You pulled him back up to you, our eyes locking as we paused for a breath. "I love you," You whispered, your voice filled with sincerity.
"I love you too," he replied. "{Y/n}," he asked breathless
Obanai's hand gently cupped your cheek, lifting your chin until your eyes met. His touch was reassuring, his eyes filled with warmth and understanding. "Yes?" You asked softly, swallowing a lump in your throat.
"I... I want to take things further," he said, your voice barely above a whisper, the vulnerability of your words hanging in the air.
Your body froze, your mind pausing whatever it was thinking about. "You... can," you whisper, gazing into his eyes, realising that what he wanted to engage with you was sex.
After walking over to the futon, Obanai laid you down carefully, as if you would break and you were a nervous wreck but Obanai soothed that. Obanai was straddling your lower abdomen and you could feel the large bulge in his hakama pants as he leaned down to kiss you.
Your tongues danced with each other before he pressed a kiss to the side of your lips and then trailed down slowly, the kisses reassuring you that you would be okay. He trailed down your collarbone and chest, making sure to leave soft, faint red marks in its wake. Throughout the entire procedure, you let out panting breaths and strengthened your grip on his body.
Your reactions only send continuous flushes of butterflies to Obanai's dick. The need that Obanai had for you was restless as he tried so hard to contain himself and be as soft with you, he didn't want to hurt you.
"Oba," you said breathlessly and he could've melted right there and then, the way you said his name sounded so much more intimate than how you would sound when it was just a simple make-out session.
Obanai lets out a hum of approval against your skin and tension ripples through your body at the vibrations as Obanai continues leaving the same soft red marks down your jaw and on your neck.
Obanai pulled away, giving you a soft kiss. "Can I... take your...." Obanai trailed off slowly and you nodded, knowing what he was referring to, your core uniform.
"Yes," you replied nervously.
"You don't have to if you don't want to," Obanai reassured, placing a kiss on your lips. "I'm not forcing you."
"No! I want to," you replied almost too quickly that an embarrassed flush came to your cheeks.
You tensed when Obanai's hands trailed down to your waist, your body arching slightly into his touch. He hesitantly unbuttoned the rest of the buttons to the top and slid your pants off. You watched his eyes widen at the sight of the fabric slipping to the side of your chest and stomach. "Can I-?"
"You can," you say, cutting him off.
A breathless sigh leaves your mouth when his hot hand trailed up your lower stomach to experimentally squeeze the mounds of flesh. You let out a moan when Obanai's lips began to press and suck gently on the top of your breast. You covered your mouth embarrassed while you looked away from Obanai. "Sorry," you mumbled.
"You sound so pretty," he whispers in your ear, causing your cheeks to heat up. Obanai's free hand pulled the hand away from your mouth. He leaned up a bit, pulling you gently with him and slipped the black nemaki off your shoulders, placing the material somewhere near us before he lay you down on the mattress again.
Obanai's lips pressed against mine once more while a hand skimmed slowly down your body. you felt the tip of his finger tug only slightly at your underwear and you grasped his wrist, the kiss breaking.
"Do you want to stop? You don't have to do this if you don't want to," Obanai's reassures but you shake your head, signalling that I wasn't implying that.
"It's not that, I really want to," you replied breathlessly before an embarrassed flush rose onto your cheeks. "Could you take off your..."
"Huh? Oh, of course," Obanai hummed, his lips pressing the side of your jaw. you watched him slip himself out of sweats, you see the imprint of his dick press painfully against his underwear and you swallowed deeply before he straddled you once you. Obanai did that without any complaint, he must really love you all that much.
Obanai pressed a reassuring kiss on your jaw before the tips of his fingers pulled the cotton down your legs, the cool air of the room causing chills to tingle down your pale skin. "You're so pretty," Obanai says breathlessly causing butterflies to swirl in your stomach.
His fingers venture further down, tracing a path along your slick slit. The touch is electrifying, causing you to tremble in his hold, your body responding to his every movement. A helpless whimper escapes your lips, a testament to the overwhelming pleasure that courses through you.
"So wet," Obanai mumbles before looking back up to you. "Are you okay?"
"Yes," you replied quietly, opening your eyes down to Obanai. "Please, can you... touch me more."
"I'll do whatever you want me do to," Obanai replied and you let a small smile grace your lips.
At your reply, Obanai's fingers experimentally push past v slick folds, his fingers pressing past your clit, and a surge of pleasure courses through you, leaving you breathless and desperate for more. A moan left your mouth as your back arched at his touch. your reaction caused Obanai to press down slightly more and your legs squeezed around his waist, moans stringing out your mouth.
you felt his fingers slide down and he found your seeping hols, drenched with arousal. I felt a finger slowly slide inside your heat, a whimper leaving your mouth. "Does this feel good?" Obanai asked and you nodded frantically.
"So good," you whimpered as he slowly pumped in and out your soaked walls. "Making me feel so good, Obanai."
"Really?" He asked and you moaned as he inserted another finger into your walls.
"Yeah, so so good," you whimper. "So good for me, Obanai."
The sensation is overwhelming, a perfect blend of pleasure and intensity that leaves you unable to contain your moans. you press your lips against his shoulder, muffling the sounds that escape from deep within you. His fingers explore the depths of your core, igniting a fire that consumes your every thought. Each movement, each curl, sends shockwaves of pleasure radiating through your body.
you surrender to the intoxicating rhythm of his touch, the combination of his skilled fingers and the intensity of our connection pushes you closer to the edge, teetering on the precipice of release. It's a moment of pure bliss, where time stands still, and you are consumed by the overwhelming pleasure that courses through your veins.
As Obanai fingers continued their relentless rhythm, pumping in and out of your seeping hole, there was an unfamiliar tightness growing in your lower abdomen, pleasure tightened inside your stomach. you wrap your shaky legs around him, seeking to anchor yourself to him amidst the overwhelming pleasure. your body quivers with anticipation, responding to his every touch, every movement.
you chant his name into his neck as praises leave your mouth, your voice filled with desire and need. The tears welling in your eyes are not from pain but from the overwhelming pleasure that threatens to consume you entirely.
In response to your plea, sucks the skin around your neck once more, groaning against your neck, his voice laced with desire. He begins to press your clit with the pad of his thumb, adding another layer of pleasure to the already intense sensations. The touch is electrifying, causing you to arch your back in response.
"Please, Obanai," you sob. "I need to... So good, Obanai."
"I've got you," Obanai reassured, intertwining our mouths together, his mouth swallowing the moans that slipped out your mouth.
The pleasure builds, the tension mounting with each passing second until you are on the precipice of release. It's a moment of pure surrender, where pleasure reigns supreme, and you are consumed by the overwhelming ecstasy that engulfs me.
Waves of ecstasy wash over you, leaving your legs trembling and weak from the intensity of the sensations. He slips his fingers from your hole and you continue to tremble from the aftermath of the orgasm. you managed to release yourself from Obanai's neck and move away from his hold.
"How are you feeling?" Obanai asks cupping your cheeks.
"Good," you breathe out slowly while looking into his eyes. "But, I want to make you feel good too."
"You don't need-"
"Please," you beg and you watch him swallow deeply, tension showing on his body.
Obanai asked once more. "Are you sure?"
I nod. "Please."
"Alright," He smiled gently moving off you to get himself out of his underwear and your eyes widened as you saw the size of his length. Obanai moves over you, you place your hands on his chest.
He delicately bites the shell of your ear making you let out a quiet whimper. you could feel him smile against your ear at your reaction. Obanai's touch caused you to dig your nails slightly into his chest leaving light crescent marks causing more deep exhales of breaths to get caught in your ear.
Obanai moved his head and his body suddenly firmly pressed against mine and I whimpered at the feeling of his dick pressing up against your stomach. His lips mingled with mine his minty taste and smell overflowed your senses making it a complete euphoria for you. you cupped the back of his neck to create a deeper angle for him to explore deeper into your mouth with our tongues continuing to entangle with each other.
Obanai groans into your mouth, the hand that was trailing down your thigh moved swiftly back to your waist and the other intertwined with your hair at the base of your neck, pulling you closer to him. you let out breathy sighs into him as your own hand interlaced with his black and your other wrapped around behind his neck.
His other hand moved its way down to tightly lift your thigh up which made his body mould closer to mine making you feel his dick press up against your soaked core. The kiss slows down and turns soft and almost desperate it's as if he wants to take his time with you, savouring every inch of your taste, to take his sweet time to memorise you.
"You're doing so good," Obanai pants agasint your lips and I didn't have time to reply as he pressed them against you once more. "I'm going to do it now. If it hurts, please tell me, I don't want to hurt you."
"Okay," you reply.
He presses his lips against mine to take your mind off the pain that's probably soon to come. you feel a hard tip get lubricated at your entrance making your back arch into him as you let out a strangled moan of pleasure into his mouth. He continues to push further into you making your eyebrows furrow together in pain but the pleasure is still overwhelming your senses making tears prick at your eyes.
"Oh, you feel so good," Obanai whimpers into your neck. "You're so perfect."
"You feel so good," you moan. The feeling of pure ecstasy of him fully entered you, the pain gone.
you feel his dick scraping across your plush walls in all the right places as he slowly exited your cunt, but not fully. Our moans and whimpers get swallowed by each other. you feel his thrusts speed up and you moan in response, your walls clenching around him causing the grip Obanai held on your thigh and waist to tighten.
The coil in your stomach getting tighter and your moans slightly became higher. Obanai continued to groan into your neck after he pulled away from the heated kiss.
"You make- me feel so goo- d," you say moaning throughout your sentence, "Feels so good-"
"I'm close-," He groans.
"Me too," you choke out.
you felt the coil in your stomach snap as your back arched painfully into Obanai's bare chest causing Obanai to groan and his arms moved to wrap tightly around you. After a few more pumps Obanai came, letting a few more rolls of his hips into you to help ride out both our highs before he pulled out slowly, making sure not to hurt you.
Obanai slumped down beside you before he slipped the condom off his length and walked over to the bathroom with a warm, damp wash cloth to clean you up and after he did so, you did the same.
"I love you so much," you tell him as we lay down together, our legs and arms entangling, bare bodies pressed against each other.
"I love you more," Obanai replies, holding you tighter.

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.
m.list | demon slayer m.list
#obanai x reader smut#obanai iguro smut#iguro obanai smut#iguro obanai x reader smut#obanai iguro x reader#iguro obanai x reader#obanai smut#obanai x reader#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer smut
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he looks up, grinnin' like a devil [r.n.z]
pairing: OPLA!Roronoa Zoro x Fem!Reader wc: 0.5k cw: minor spoilers an: i feel like this man needs a fic from my bc he lives in my head rent free. anyways dont get mad at me if this isnt accurate lol i did everything based off the live action n i plan on reading the manga (eventually)



"Zoro?" You huffed, laying still on the floor of the quarterdeck, eyes shut as you bathed in the sunlight.
There was no response and you frowned, calling again.
"Zoroooo."
A few beats of silence, followed by clunking on wood and and a grunt as shade was cast over your closed eyes. There was a thump and you grinned.
"What?"
You cracked open an eye lazily, staring at Zoros' face as he bent over you, watching you closely.
"Are you mad at me for yelling for you?" You muttered, head bumping against his leg, crossed under the other that his arm rested on.
"Maybe. I was trying to take a nap. Didn't work anyways. What are you doing up here?" You simply turned your head towards him, eyes flitting over his face for what seemed like the thousandth time.
No matter how many times you saw him, you could never seem to get over his profile.
"I was helping Sanji with the tangerines. He needed my help picking the fruit and watering the plants." You sighed, turning on your side.
He made a face, somewhere between disbelief and what looked like jealousy, but you couldn't tell. Not as the sun glared at you from behind him.
"He promised me food if i helped him," you protested at his look, rolling your eyes, "Don't look at me like that."
"How does that pertain to me? I never said anything." He shot back, failing to hide the flustered look at his eyes as he realized you'd caught him. "Zoroooo- you're making the face again," You giggled, rolling onto your stomach to stare at him.
He pretended to look confused, but you knew him like the back of your hand, thinly veiled distress underlying his features.
"Give it up Zo, you're jealous!" You teased, running a finger along the hemming of his pants. "Am not," he said plainly, averting your eyes.
"Am too-" You hummed.
"Am. not." He leaned down, baring his teeth slightly. His earrings jingled in the wind, gently swayed by the breeze.
Before you could stop yourself, you grabbed his face, fingers grazed barely by the golden earrings.
There were freckles littered all over his face, barely noticeable unless you looked close enough.
You hadn't realized they were there until after the fight with Mihawk, when you stayed at his side, leaning over him hoping he would wake up. They were like little mini constellations, a galaxy you could kiss, although you had never said that to his face.
"Have i ever told you how pretty you look?" You left kiss after kiss on his cheeks, skin burning despite how stoic he looked on the outside. "You've got a grin like the devil yet the aura of an angel."
"Shouldn't i be saying that to you?" He huffed, pulling you closer. He obviously didn't want to let you go.
"You should. I want to hear it more from you," you said, expectant for the tiniest bit more you could milk from this, "tell me how much you love me."
Zoro's gruff exterior softened slightly as he looked into your eyes, whispering under bated breath, "You're as beautiful as always, Y/n."
"Well, in that case," you said playfully, "you're incredibly handsome, Zoro. My one and only."
A rare smile played on his face, and you looked around quickly, leaning in to give him a soft kiss. The breeze seemed to pick up, salty sea air filling your lungs.
As you broke the kiss, you let out a laugh, "I think we both needed that."
Zoro nodded in agreement. "Yeah, maybe I'm a bit jealous, but I can't stand the thought of you spending too much time with that damn cook."
You chuckled, running your fingers through his green hair. "Don't worry, Roronoa. You're the only one I want."
He pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around you. "Good," he murmured, resting his forehead against yours. "Because you're the only one i need."
#opla#opla spoilers#one piece live action spoilers#opla x reader#opla zoro#opla zoro x reader#one piece netflix#op live action#one piece live action#netflix one piece#zoro x reader#roronoa zoro#zoro roronoa x reader
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yellowjackets spoilers for this week’s ep but i dont see a lot of people talking about teen misty’s panic attack and it’s something i wanna talk about cause it is DEFINITELY not just because of crystal, it’s because of what crystal said to her.
less than an hour ago, the only friend she’s ever had found out that it was her fault they were still in the wilderness, that they were starving and freezing and eating their team captain, and told her she was insane. and misty knew she was right, that stranding them– whether she did or not, that was her intention– was an unforgivable act.
and misty gets confronted with that fact twice in quick succession. first when crystal fucking dies in front of her, second when shauna starts giving birth. when she looks at the blood and thinks of crystal, i think that’s when it clicks for her. the past nine months have been a fun camping trip for her, she didn’t care about the shrooms or the corpses or the blood or the cannibalism. she wanted to make bone broth outta jackie. but when crystal makes her realize it is her fault they’re there, she is suddenly thrust into a situation she is not prepared for. no red cross babysitter training class tells you how to deliver a baby.
misty broke the box because she wanted to be needed, she needed to be needed, she needed people to rely on her and depend on her and be nice to her for five fucking seconds and it worked for 8-9 months, she was happy for 8-9 months, only peeved when everyone blamed her for the shrooms, not at all peeved about the dead girl in the meat shed.
but when she’s suddenly needed and can’t do what they need from her, that’s why she panics, because that’s when it hits her that she did this and she cannot fix it. not only did she strand them and kill laura and kill jackie and kill crystal, she has changed everyone’s lives for the worse and now she can’t even do what the other girls need from her. she is a useless child in the woods full of people who hate her, and another girl is about to die in front of her, a baby is about to die, and it will be her fault.
if they were not in the wilderness laura lee would not have flown that plane, jackie would not have slept outside, crystal would not have stepped back, and shauna would not be in labor in the middle of the fucking woods– she would have either aborted the baby early or would be in a functioning hospital surrounded by adults who know what they’re doing.
she realizes it at that moment, realizes that crystal was right, and runs.
the only reason she comes back is that lottie convinces her that no, she is indeed needed. misty plays pretend at being the medic and when she cries and tells shauna she’s sorry, it’s because she failed at doing the thing she stranded them to do, and because it’s her fault they’re all here in the first place. she failed everyone and now she’s failed shauna’s baby– not that she could have fucking done anything anyway. she’s a teenage girl with no medical supplies in the wilderness and with the placenta coming out first, the baby was likely going to be stillborn no matter what they did. but misty doesnt know that and she believes it was her fault and so in the eyes of the wilderness it was her fault.
honestly i like that we don’t know if the black box was a tracker or not. if it was, all of this is hitting misty at once as everyone screams and sobs and bleeds around her. if it was not, then this is hitting misty for absolutely no reason.
both options are good fucking horror. this show is god
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Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.
i was tagged by @starwolfie! thank you!
my wiplist as of 30/8/24:
the cursebreaker
the primordials
strawberry
sing me to sleep
fruit bats (series)
lu hunger games au (series)
yestermorrow (name pending)
RIV DONT ASK ABOUT THIS ONE
stationary point
darkling i listen
out in the woods we rot
peter parker on reddit
200 hyoi pears
sepfember (yay!)
fan joy july (sadly i dont think it will ever be finished)
before the rain stops
cursebreaker!spirit
uhhhhh.... those are all my wips i guess..... hit me up if you wanna chat about them xx. i might have to be cryptic for some because of spoilers though... im gonna go grab some breakfast now and then get back to working on ch20 of cursebreaker hohohoho. love you guys 💞💞
and now for tagging time! the fun part! i can't remember who has already done this or not, so! no pressure to respond! @rosehipandroots @crazylittlejester @noorahqar @savimatteo2810 @jellyfishvibes @not-freyja @musical-chan @zarvasace @tashacee @a-manicured-lawn @artemistorm @serbii @nancyheart11 @across-violet-skies @needfantasticstories @elle-rosewater @anime-obsessed @hotcheetohatredwastaken .... if any of you are working on some juicy wips right now, please consider me SUPER interested 👀👀👀
#fic tag#ahbsdasdsabdshbdas#exposing my current wip list in all its messy glory#open tags to anyone else who wants to do this game as well! i'm hyped!
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Heres some miscellaneous tulpar crew headcanons :D
Anya
Shes 32 but gets mistaken for being older because she has dark circles under her eyes
She smokes regularly and its caused her voice to become deep and a little raspy, but still melodic and relaxing
Her favorite musicians are ethel cain, alex g, panchiko and neutral milk hotel. She loves atmospheric spooky music as well as melodramatic songs that have a story behind them.
Her favorite animals are bovines of any kind but she has a special love for bison
She grew up on a small farm in west virginia and has a soft spot in her heart for animals
She believes in some cryptids and swears up and down that shes seen a Not Deer in person. Growing up in Appalachia will do that to you
Daisuke loves listening to cryptid stories she knows
Shes seen some Freaky Shit while she was growing up, especially weird things with wildlife. She spent tons of her free time playing in the woods as a kid and has tons of creepy stories which caused her to become pretty superstitious
Shes half cherokee and japanese and likes engaging in her cultures a lot
One of her superstitions is that you cant whistle at night (she has 100% yelled at daisuke for doing it before)
She knows some navajo and a little bit of japanese
Her favorite movies are The Last Unicorn, Everything Everywhere all at Once, and Miss Peregrines home for Peculiar Children (she has a crush on miss peregrine)
She has a champagne colored 1999 toyota carolla that she loves dearly. His name is Frank and she regularly talks to him (mostly to keep herself from going insane from road rage but also just for fun)
Curly
His faceclaim is jensen ackles
Hes 35 years old and scouse/scottish
Hes a social drinker but only likes IPAs and indie craft beers, hes a tad pretentious about it but hes aware of it
He listens to a lot of dad rock and pop rock, like imagine dragons and aerosmith, but he also appreciates classic punk bands like rage against the machine. He has a guilty pleasure for Adele and his favorite song is "love in the dark" (he knows every single word to it by heart and sings it in the car)
He loves dramatic sappy love songs but hell never admit it
He had an emo phase in his teens that hes kinda embarrassed about. He got the classic swooped emo haircut and he repeatedly destroyed his curls with straighteners for YEARS. It took ages for his hair to recover
His favorite movies are The Green Mile and Interstellar
Hes intersex and hes very open about it, his pronouns are he/they but hell allow you to call him she/her if what youre gonna say is funny
He thrives on physical affection and LOVES giving hugs and patting people on the back. Hes very good at giving hugs too
He has a dark blue 2019 honda civic that he put a spoiler on just because it looks cool. He also got a sick sound system installed and loves just sitting in his car listening to music.
Jimmy (IF HE WAS A NORMAL PERSON AU)
Hes 34 and his face claim is Skeet Ulrich
He had an incel phase when he was an older teen/ in his 20s but grew out of it, now feels pretty embarassed about it but tries to teach other people how to avoid it
He has a modestly popular twitch channel where he plays games with guests (mostly curly and daisuke) and talks about life and mens issues, such as mental health awareness and self improvement (he hates the manosphere tho dont worry)
He likes debating right wing pundits and trolling the shit out of them
Him and anya are good friends even though he was an asshole to her in the past. He was super apologetic to her and since she saw he had changed a lot she accepted him back as a friend. (He did NOT assault her in this au he was just a misogynistic asshole)
He likes playing guitar and singing when hes alone
His favorite movies are the matrix and fight club and he will talk to you about breaking bad for HOURS
He has narcissistic personality disorder and tries to spread awareness about how its not just "The Disorder that Makes you Evil". Yes hes in therapy for it and tries to give tips to other people with npd about managing their disorder and being aware of how they treat other people
Hes able to do an eerily accurate impression of Dagoth Ur from Morrowind and loves saying out of pocket things with it
He has a red 2012 subaru forester that he pays no mind to. He has crashed 3 cars in the past tho, hes a terrible driver but refuses to admit it.
He never changes his oil, the check engine light has been on for months, and the rotors scream for mercy every time he so much as graces the brake pedal. Cars tremble in fear of this man.
Daisuke
Hes 22 years old, filipino, japanese, lao and mexican and takes a lot of pride in it
He was born in California but was raised with all of his cultures alongside american culture
Hes fluent in spanish and japanese but only partially fluent in vietnamese
He LOVES music and knows how to play guitar and the khaen
He listens to a lot of folk punk and takes inspiration from Harley Poe and Days n Daze. He makes his own songs but hes a little shy about playing them for people
He listens to tons of music genres but especially hyper pop, breakcore, jumpstyle, phonk, and parody stuff like lemon demon or weird al. He also has a special love for will wood (probably a small crush too)
He loves singing in groups and did it a ton on the tulpar, memorizing his favorite songs and playing them until the rest of the crew knew them too
It became a ritual that whenever daisuke was on his break hed get out his guitar and start up a song and anyone could join him in singing if they wanted. Anya and curly loved singing with him but jimmy only duetted the songs he really loved. Sometimes he would break out his own guitar to play with daisuke too
The favorite song to play for the whole crew was Psycho by harley poe and it even got swansea to join in as a backup baritone sometimes
They ended up really bonding over those duets and daisuke is really proud of that fact
Daisuke has a drivers license that he only recently got but he has no car
He loves getting stoned with anya and watching nature documentaries while they giggle at the stupidest things.
He cries pretty easily when he feels comfortable and safe with the people around him and hes trying to learn to be less afraid to show his emotions. Turns out, hes a VERY emotional person.
He cries easily if a song is especially beautiful and the one that never fails to jerk his tears is king park by la dispute, mainly the ending. He just adores the sheer power behind he vocals
His parents are really supportive but really want him to get out of the house and start his own life.
Swansea
Hes 60 years old and a proud italian new yorker/new jersey man
He sounds like a raspier tony soprano
He gambles causally but has a strict budget for himself
His favorite music is classic dad rock, some metal, jazz and blues but he especially likes frank Sinatra. Weirdly enough punk just isnt his thing
He has a wife named Andrea who he would literally kill for. Theyve been married for 30 years and they have 3 daughters
He drinks a lot of root beer. So much root beer.
He got arrested when he was 18 for punching a cop at a protest and beating the shit out of a nazi. He has his mugshot framed in his living room proudly.
He was a punk teen and he attended a lot of protests for queer rights and anti-police brutality. Now he doesnt really have the time for it but hes more than happy to give advice to young protesters and activists (wear a gas mask, conceal your identity, dont tell people youre going unless theyre going with you, and how to identity under cover cops)
His alcoholism started in his 20s and he got his shit together around his 30s but struggled on and off with addiction until finally going clean for 13 years straight
He loves white chocolate
He was actually like super model handsome when he was younger and is insecure about how alcoholism caused him to physically deteriorate (hes still handsome but he refuses to believe it)
Sopranos is his favorite show and he quotes it regularly
He has an old beat up 1997 ford f150 that he treats like a second wife and uses her to carry around his tools. He calls her bethany and gives her hood a pat before he gets in the driver seat every time.
#mouthwashing anya#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#anya mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#swansea mouthwashing#mouthwashing jimmy#mouthwashing headcanon#mw daisuke#mw jimmy#curly mw#mw anya#nurse anya#anya#anya mw#anya musume#mouthwashing daisuke#daisuke#daisuke mw#daisuke juarez#mw swansea#engineer swansea#mouthwashing swansea#mechanic swansea#grant curly#captain curly
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ST5 ENDING (REAL!! SPOILER WARNING!!!!!!)
will: youre never going to win, vecna!! I will defeat you, once and for all…
vecna: HA HA HA! You and what army..? 😈
*distant yelling getting louder, the ground shaking a little*
will:.. this army.
*the rest of the gang rides in on demodogs, which dustin has befriended and trained, in slomo. while theyre doing the cool slomo walk towards the camera, robin trips on a vine*
robin: sorry!!
vecna: o_o
*the party stands strong by will’s side*
lucas *cracking his knuckles*: okay, vecna… we can do this the easy way… or the hard way.
*the demodogs growl angrily*
vecna: heheh… nice… puppy….
*big final battle scene*
vecna, defeated: but.. but you’re just a group of kids..
mike: that may be, but we’re stronger, because we have something you’ll never have.. the power of true friendship.
*they all exchange happy smiles*
robin, tearing up! aw i love you guys.. so much!! *blows her nose in steve’s shirt*
nancy: maybe… the real light was the friends we’ve made along the way.
el: that’s right. were a team.. a party.
steve: UMMMM did I hear PARTY?
robin: i think i feel a song coming on… hit it, dustin!!
*cuts to a big party in the woods, with everyone dancing. Party Rock Anthem starts playing over the scene. murray is dancing with karen and there are demo-creatures all dancing with the party.*
will: omg!! this is my jam!! PARTY ROCKERS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT
mike: its actually party rock IS…
will:…
*tender emotional music playing*
*ted approaches dustin, who stops dancing.*
dustin: ted.
ted: dustin.. i’d like to apologize. can you ever forgive me?
dustin, smiling:.. i already have, man. now lets party!
*vecna is sitting in a chair in the corner with his arms crossed, scowling.*
will: aw, get in here!
vecna: absolutely not.
will: … then why is your foot tapping to the rhythm?
vecna: it isn’t.
will: friends dont lie!
vecna: …drats.
*will pulls vecna’s arm and vecna starts dancing with them. steve watched then turns to look at the camera.*
stve, shrugging with a smile: well. we’ve all seen stranger things.
*fade to black*
#the pique of my writing career maybe#this came to me in a dream#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers#lucas sinclair#dustin henderson#el hopper#max mayfield#nancy wheeler#steve harrington#robin buckley#st5#st5 speculation#st5 spoilers#stranger things season five#stranger things s5#st spoilers#st5 leaks#st leaks#stranger things leaks#byler
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Hi. I read your Mr Puzzles x Reader on Ao3. I think it's really cool. Say, what are your headcanons for Mr Puzzles x Reader anyway? Just curiosity speaking.
Oouugghhh!!
Small semi spoilers for whats to come in my fic but i don’t care to share!!
No big title or anything! Just sharing silly little headcanons
His love language is acts of service! He likes to give the one he genuinely cares for items of appreciation, as he never had friends or anyone more in his life before now.
He dreams about you and him having a super nice domestic life, where he can pay for everything because hes famous. He seriously adores you and wants to provide more than he is currently capable of
He’ll tell you he regrets what he did to the crew, but he really dosent (he’ll say it just to see you smile a little)
His favorite part of you is your face, mainly your smile!
His dreams display on his screen if hes in a deep deep sleep
He’ll make scripts for things that involve you both kissing at the end, its all an excuse to have your lips on his screen since he’s absolutely horrible at asking for attention
For someone so menacing he’s honestly a big sweetie with you
Can and will let the world burn for you!
Since ratings arent his main thing now, and its you instead. He’s willing to do just about anything to make sure you dont go away like his 5 stars did previously
Sometimes calls you by “Angel” or “My Savior” because without you he probably wouldve been an abandoned tv in the woods
Normally uses “dear”, “love”, “honey” if hes not in a particularly sappy mood (on serious occasions he’ll actually use your name, and its never because hes mad at you.)
Likes to bring you to his tv dimension inside his head, the zero gravity type deal makes it more easy to grip onto you and just float freely.
Sings to help you sleep
He’ll say your main clothes are trashy, but in reality he just wants you to look all dolled up (like a said, man is a giver)
-Bonus!-
Reader’s outfit!

(i used Gacha but ignore that-)
Anyway if there are anymore questions abt the fic, please ask, i love when people ask abt my works!
#new writers on tumblr#smg4#x reader#smg4 fanfic#headcanon#fluff#mr puzzles#smg4 puzzlevision#smg4 tv adware#gacha life 2#ao3 writer#ao3 fanfic
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[TW: sh mentions, violence] [spoilers for legendborn and bloodmarked, read at your own caution ;)]
so i've been rereading and trying to cover up all the legendborn content that happened while i pufff disappeared, and pardon me it is taking more time than i imagined, however i just wanted to start off with one pet peeve of mine
*rant incoming*
this might just be my unorganised thoughts or maybe just common sense, but sometimes you dont fully understand why a character did something; you have to sometimes to come back and read it again once you have that epiphany. it doesn't matter whatever tf they are doing, it sometimes just doesnt make that effect, especially on first read.
when i first read bree lashing out on greer and sar when they touched her hair, i didnt quite understand it. i thought its a cultural thing and moved on. now something about me, im a little fair, by indian standards. not completely clear skin and shit but im on the lighter side. so if im in my village, if im anywhere else wearing something with a bit of skin showing, i automatically get the comments "you're so fair" "what's your skincare" "so lucky" "you'd marry so soon" all that typa shit. and then come the unwanted touches, touching me on any exposed skin. and by any i genuinely mean any exposed skin. that's when i kind of realised why bree was so irritated when they tocuhed her hair, because people sometimes see our nicer features as free estate. and its annoying. and that is when her reaction fully made sense.
when i first read selwyn mesmered bree, i was so angry. i did not want bree to forgive him without him grovelling, ofc, but i also could not understand why he did that. what was his motive?? and why hide it from bree only?? nobody else?? now i've been in my low times since like years, not a big deal. got a lot of scars, some too visible, some not. i dont bother hiding it if im out in public where there's nobody who knows me or nobody who would care enough to ask. but if im with my friends, close people, i hide them all. and its just like valec said, its not to hide something its because of the fear of judgement. and that's when it kind of made sense why selwyn would hide his descent specifically from bree. she has bad experiences with mesmer, no doubt, but even worse with demons. it was a bad call through and through but one that is not unfamiliar. i dont hide my scars for my safety, i hide them because im ashamed.
and when nick killed max and then promptly disappeared into the woods, that was also somehow so out of character in my eyes from him. during grief and in the moments of crushing hopelessness, doesn't everyone want someone?? isnt the obvious reaction supposed to be him coming to bree, and not running away from her?? but that's not what happens yk. i once had a classmate who was not generally the type of person you'd want to be around. he was the type of person who has "trouble" spelt on him in flashing neon red. but after all, we were young, wanted to keep the peace, so i kept the decent communication. he would constantly invade my personal space, unwanted touches, unsolicited comments, it gets annoying. the last straw was when he tried to touch my best friend's schoolbag. i, in a moment of pure rage, threw him against the wall and actually started choking him. when the class managed to get me off of him, he was unconscious. in that moment my bestfriend came to put a hand on my shoulder, i visibly flinched and ran away from there and stayed in the washroom until school was over. this isnt as bad as beheading someone, but the response is familiar. of course he is going to go away rather than come closer; people whose love language is physical touch often have their hate language as isolation. i didnt hurt him purely because he tried to take my bestie's bag, i hurt him because i wanted to. nick didnt kill max purely because he killed his father, he killed him because he wanted to.
there's more of the events where we just kind of make this internal bias that we know what the character is going through and that we would definitely make better decisions, but can you?? do you really think you can or you're just overestimating yourself or underestimating the actual thing going on with the character??
i have made this mistake too, i know. i have taken some time to reflect back though and now i can say that yes i have made harsh judgements too. i am changing that tho because i've got a lottt of time to sit down and think and yeah i guess we all need it time to time.
what im trying to say is, things are not black and white. its a spectrum, there's dark grey light grey. it's a lot. and until and unless you are capable of putting yourself in that type of situation or closer, it's better to not make concrete opinions. shit happens and people do things, real life people are just that, people.
anyways this was a long rant i probably lost my point halfway through but okay whateva
#the legendborn cycle#legendborn cycle#legendborn#bloodmarked#oathbound#tracy deonn#briana matthews#bree matthews#selwyn kane#selwyn emrys kane#nick davis#nicholas davis
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lets talk: agatha all along finale
ahead: spoilers obvi, and my VERY annoyed thoughts read at your own risk. and remember something VERY important: these are MY thoughts, MY opinions on MY page.
before i get into the bad, which there was a lot of imo, lets talk about what i loved
☆ i loved that jen got away and got her powers back. i really love her character and i hope we see her again. still crazy how agatha is the one who bound her like omg ???? good for her love that diva
☆ i love the agatha and nicky scenes. and then creating the ballad together, soooo sweet. she was such a good mom im so sad
☆ i love the alice part as heartbreaking as it was
☆ the part where billy created the makeshift grave for alice, lilia, and sharon
☆ "MY LOVE" "YOU LOVE ME" "WHY DON'T YOU WANT ME" im sickkkk they're absolutely insane and i love them so so much
☆ rio planting the flowers over agatha's grave, im sickkkk
☆ AGATHARIO KISS !!! was so so beautiful and passionate i love them.
☆ ghost agatha is sexy, don't know how i feel about her hair tho. some angles i like it, some angles i dont
now what did i hate, just about everything else.
☆ i hate how the first time we get a lesbian kiss in marvel, one of them dies. the bury your gays trope is so fucking tired. wrap it up. i don't care about male gay rep because they already had it in the mcu with eternals, it's not fair that when lesbians finally get rep, we don't get to keep it.
☆ not only do i just not fucking like billy, i hate how so much of this show centered around him, like if this was supposed to get me excited and into billy, it failed drastically. FUCK BILLY ??? WHO CARES ??? the show is called agatha all along and i feel like it was billy all along in too many parts. we didnt even get to see too much of her because of HIM. ALSO her sacrificing herself just to end up basically being his ghost side kick is also stupid. because while i get agatha not being able to face her son again, then why kill her ? why not let her live, what because he's a maximoff that we're supposed to see in later projects ??? like who gives a shit.
✧ they put entirely too much of this show on wiccan / joe's popularity and it didnt work nor make sense.
☆ also, on the topic of billy, i don't get why agatha just didnt drain his power and kill him. i know she made the deal with rio and stuff but he could've reincarnated into another body and they could continue wiccan's journey like that but in a different body. it honestly just seems like marvel sacrificed agatha to keep joe locke and its like who fucking cares.
☆ i hate how im left with more questions than answers.
✧ how and why did rio and agatha get married? agatha has been killing witches for so long, and im assuming rio appeared everytime, when did they get together?
✧ rio referes to nicholas as nicky, why? from what we saw in those 6 years agatha and nicky were together, she wasn't there.
✧ why did they make it seem like we would see them raising nicky together?
✧ they described agathario's history as "long and complicated", yet we never saw that or the aftermath of their relationship after rio took nicky? did rio and nicky meet before? because he seemed to know her or at least not be scared enough to feel "stranger danger" like what happened.
✧ in episode 4, we get agathario almost kiss and hat seemed like a healing moment for them and in the end we get agatha never wanting to see rio again ? why ? what happened that we didn't see for this seemingly drastic change.
✧ in ep 5, rio very clearly hates agatha's mother and refuses to let agatha go with her, and obviously we as an audience can infer the reason why, agatha told her what happened but still.
✧ how did the agatha trading nicky for the darkhold rumor even start ? agatha gave birth alone in the woods and gave him a completely different name, who knew about her son ? how did they find out ? im sooo confused by all of this
i love this show, or at least the concept, but i don't love the execution. it was supposed to be about us learning and getting to know agatha and i honestly feel like i don't know her at all. i loved eps 1-4 and ep 7, everything else, eh.
thanks for coming to my ted talk !
#༺ z speaks#agatha all along spoilers#agatha all along#agatha harkness rio vidal#agathario#aaa spoilers#agatha spoilers#agatha harkness#jennifer kale#rio vidal#alice wu gulliver#lilia calderu#billy maximoff#jac schaeffer we got beef#kathryn hahn#aubrey plaza#sasheer zamata#ali ahn#patti lupone#nicholas scratch#agatha x rio#joe locke#lesbians#wiccan#marvel cinematic universe#mcu
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Pls can u do ging x reader and reader is gon mother?
THANK YOU - ging x reader
a/n: this prompt is almost two years old. i apologize for the wait and hope it was worth it. warnings: spoilers (chimera ant and election arcs)
summary: after hearing about gon's injuries, you rush to swardani city to see your son, and confront his father. word count: 1,133
the air conditioning system hummed loudly as you sat across from ging in an empty meeting room inside the headquarters of the hunter's association.
there was a feeling of uneasiness, and anxiety that plagued you. it had been years since you had last seen ging. thirteen to be exact.
you had made a heartbreaking departure from him and your son many years ago, due to circumstances outside your control. and now you sat here, heartbroken, looking the man you once loved unconditionally in the eye, now filled with anger and hatred.
how. how could he have let this happen? how could he be so irresponsible? how could he be so immature?
your son, gon, was currently in the hospital. not only was he beyond recognition, he was also in critical condition, facing death every moment with no one having any clue how to bring him back. the moment you heard, you left everything behind and rushed to swardani city, fearful that your son may die before you ever got to tell him how sorry you were for leaving.
you had spent almost every waking hour at his bedside, sobbing. sobbing so hard you thought your lungs would collapse, so hard that you had to gasp for air. crying until you were numb, and the hospital staff gingerly escorted you out of his room, explaining to you that visiting hours had came to a close.
"you have a hell of alot to explain to me, ging." your eyes were red and puffy, with dark circles underneath. it was clear that sleep wasn't something you had been familiar with the past few weeks.
"i dont know what there is to explain. i don't know much more than you do, and frankly i don't appreciate you pinning this on me." he hissed, clearly bitter. after so many years the only time you had made an effort to see him was now. and it was to scold him.
"how could you leave him?" you asked, your voice shaking, the tears began to well in your eyes, burning them.
"hey, i could ask you the exact same thing." ging took no time to remind you that you had also left.
"i left with confidence you would take care of him-"
"but you left so really what right do you have to turn up after all this time and ride my ass about things outside of my control!?" he snapped, his brown eyes were fixed on you, burning a hole right through you.
"at least i came to visit him, that's more than you're doing asshole!"
"did it ever occur to you that i CAN'T go see him." ging replied curtly. he wasn't one to outwardly express emotions frequently, but you could tell something was different this time.
once more the room fell to silence, the air conditioning unit the only sound to be heard, were you not in the middle of the concrete jungle that is swardani city, you likely would have heard crickets chirping.
"what do you mean you can't?? of course you can he's practically right next door!" you angirly hissed back in response. how dare he insinuate hes too busy to see his own son who was barely holding on to life as you spoke.
"that's not what i mean and you know it." his expressionless facade was fading, you were cracking through the mask he paraded around with to look tough. you were seeing a part of him nobody had ever seen, except for you.
you stayed silent, eyes trailing down to the faux wood grain table. waiting for him to elaborate. you knew from past experience this could take a matter of minutes or more. but you waited nonetheless for him to finally speak.
"i don't think you understand the guilt i harbor, ___." ging finally spoke up, his eyes locked onto yours the moment you looked up, not allowing you to escape his gaze of honesty.
"mito knew. . . she knew I'd always be the same guy. she filed for custody of gon, she said my line of work was too dangerous, and that i wouldn't be able to take care of him properly. and to my surprise, I sit here today and admit, she was right." ging spoke, his voice remained level headed and cool, he didnt allow the emotions to play part in how he spoke.
he took a deep breath in, eyes flickering to the ceiling. "despite all the training and trials i laid out meticulously for him to get stronger..." he trailed off.
"i don't know what i would do differently... had he been with me would this still have happened or worse? or would it have been avoided all together." he rambled on a bit longer.
"why didn't you just say all this before, ging?" you asked, brows furrowing, tears still falling softly from your cheeks.
"psh.." he made a face, one lined with disgust, a rare change in emotion.
"ging. it's not your fault."
his eyes darted back to you. "since when do you have a sudden change in opinion?"
"since we've made it to this point in the conversation. " you replied curtly, following suit of his answers prior.
ging mumbled under his breath. "from what i hear he's a lot like you. he's got your optimism." ging responded blankly, a pang sent through your heart as you were brought back into the blinding reality of why you were there with him.
"are you going to do anything to address the issue at hand amongst the zodiacs?" you questioned, checking the clock in the wall. the others could burst in at any moment. "you know its causing a lot of pressure on their backs during the election. many of the hunters are well aquainted with or know of gon, they expect answers and they expect you visiting him.
"it's none of their business to be frank. that's the problem with this whole association, ___. everyone believes theyre entitled to a slice of other people's lives. especially pariston. i'm sick of him being up my ass about this whole situation. " ging rambled on and on about his hatred for pariston but love for the hunt for a few solid minutes before switching back to the current topic.
"look, what i mean to say is, they can spread all the rumors they want, i'm not changing. and i'm not inviting them into our life."
oh ging... still as shy and stubborn as he ever was.
"wait. ___, before you go..." ging spoke, his face flushing and his nerves beginning to tie his vocabulary up in knots. "thank you." he said loudly, though the distance between you and him was nowhere near needing of such volume.
the air conditioning finally kicked off, leaving you in a room of dead air and space. you checked the clock again, the rythmic ticking began to inidicate the nearing of the next hour, when ging would be expected to meet with other zodiacs.
you stood up, pushing the chair you had been previously occupying in and gathering your personal effects. "i suppose it should be time for me to drop back in at the hospital. i hate being away for so long." you turned, reafhing for the door.
"for what.....?"
"coming back."
#cherry.txt#hxh#hunter x hunter#ging hxh#ging freecss#ging#gon#gon freecss#chimera ants#zodiacs hxh#pariston hill#ging x reader#hxh x reader
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