#dont get me wrong they *can* be cool if people get creative/inspired with it but im just not interested. i liked bloodborne

[bevebevo]

i was joking about this last night but sometimes i wanna be like those artists whose entire brand is drawing wlw art but i dislike 90% of popular wlw ships and the only gay people i draw are the ones from my brain

and i dont like vampires very much so that puts me at a disadvantage

[voidbeau]

I've been thinking about this a lot and have ranted to a friend to varying degrees about it every once in a while since early this year.

On one hand, I don't want to sound ungrateful when I talk about this, but...

I feel like being in a fandom has ruined me.

Or to put it better, I've let it ruin me.

And to clarify, I don't blame individuals of a fandom.

Nor do I really blame the idea of fandom itself the more I think about it.

It is most definitely a me thing, but being in a fandon has definitely helped to shed some light on some upsetting things about my brain.

Being in an environment where you get to share ideas and art about your favorite media- Something that's supposed to be for fun and to find community with others who share your interest!

For me, it's been a huge motivator for getting back into my art- which I believe I've mentioned before.

Up until the twomp Fandom, I've had lots of difficulties staying inspired and motivated to keep doing art regardless of how much I wanted to do it.

So finding a reason to do it again has been great!

I've been able to make pretty good improvements in my art abilities which is really nice!

But on the other end of things, I've lost the ability to just appreciate things the way I could if I was just an outsider looking in?

And I hate it because for whatever reason, my anxiety looks at fandom art as competition rather than something a fellow [insert interest] enjoyer put out for me to enjoy along with the rest of fandom.

I hate that mindset so much.

I don't want fandom to be a competition.

I don't think fandom should be a competition.

Inspiration to improve is one thing, but there's something very wrong if you're feeling a sense of threat in some way??? Like hello??? Are you okay???

It's ridiculous!

But anxiety likes to tell me I need to constantly be creating and making sure it's "original" or "unique" or else my value as a "creator" is worth nothing.

Which, again, is also ridiculous, because I'm not out here trying to "become something", I just want to have fun sharing my dumbass AUs and headcannons cause I want to have fun with the characters and the world I fell in love with!

But it doesn't stop the rancid pattern of thinking.

No matter how many breaks I take, I can come back feeling refreshed but the grasping hands of anxiety and shaky self worth tell me I need to constantly be working to maintain a semblance of value.

I need to work to "keep my place".

And that's dumb.

A fandom is a little neighborhood where everyone has their own little house and their own little garden tucked safely behind their own little white picket fence.

We're not being lined up and graded like slabs of beef.

I'm so tired man. I just want to have fun, but as time goes on I feel like the only solution to this issue is to leave the Fandom environment entirely.

Like No Face from Spirited Away.

But if I lose the "pressure" of needing to create art than I'm scared i'll fall back into not being able to create at all again.

I dont want to lose what I feel like I only just got back.

🫠

It feels super embarrassing to be struggling with these kinds of thoughts personally.

Cause it's like, "bro, who tf you think you are???"

There's so much of it that feels self centered, like it's all about me.

I need to be the best, I need to have coolest art and the best ideas!!!

I don't think that at all, granted. But it feels that way sometimes.

I don't like the idea of comparing myself to others. I don't think anyone should be doing that.

Comparison is the joy killer!!!

I much prefer the variety that a fandom brings to the table.

Each individual with an individual take on a world and its characters.

Everyone is so creative it's really Cool!!

I think it's fun to read and to see people bring that to life!

But I can't fully enjoy it like I want to cause the thoughts always be like,

"Why can't you be like that, huh?

You could be doing something with your time right now, you could be working in that idea you were thinking of.

You could be finishing that drawing you started.

What about that other thing you said you were going to do, huh?"

And if I get working on something, it's still not good enough,

"No! Not like that! Your art style is DISGUSTING. Throw that one away!

No No, any readers who stumble on this will never enjoy this. It's awkward and stilted.

Take it again or leave it!"

Like bro please, give a bug a break. I'm trying. 😰

[okidenshi]

Realizing that the surge in popularity of "Content/Media", especially when it comes to content things like movies, tv shows, video games, etc, means to me that western society at large enjoys media because we are told to, rather than naturally enjoying media for the insight and/or inspiration it can provide to us.

When I was a kid and was bullied for liking anime, it was because I talked about it and the character's I liked in a very genuine and personal way. Sure maybe a bit of that was "cringe", but it was ultimately out of appreciation for the story/characters/art form; it was my way of communicating how I felt to others, and also a way for me to learn more about myself in relation to the world.

Now that anime/nerd stuff is more accepted and even celebrated in the mainstream, I find myself feeling stressed to look or behave a certain way in a 'community' I once felt universally understood and accepted by. And I think it's because the "normies" (im tired i cant think of a better word) are implementing false authenticity and their own perceptions of genuineness onto a community that typically celebrates and discusses cheesy yet genuine nerdy feelings/characters/etc (not that fandom spaces dont have their downsides, but all in all, I felt WAY safer approaching/being friends with someone wearing a sailor moon shirt in middle school than anyone else).

I'm not like, upset or mad at the fact that "anime/nerdy culture is popular now", what I'm upset by is that creative media/content is just consumed and talked about like peanuts now. The content mills on shorts who start off with "your favorite characters motivation explained! and then proceed to explain nothing about anything for a minute and thirty seconds. The pressure to look nonporous and wear colored contact lenses if I cosplay because my photos "wont look as accurate".

Let me be clear i dont have an issue w/ people who genuinely LIKE to do this stuff- power to you. But some of us just want to vibe and not worry about how character accurate or "aesthetically pleasing" we look to others.

Anime/nerdy isn't suddenly popular because a majority of western culture is just now coming to appreciate the mediums. It's popular because it's been idealized and marketed as a way to feel better about ourselves in the most hollow way possible: buy the merch. buy the merch. do the dances to the music audio clip of the week, relate

And Listen! I like merch! I enjoy buying blorbo things, i get it! But dear god I've never felt so PRESSURED to PERFORM my enjoyment of the media i like. As a kid, I did it from a genuine place, but when im scrolling down reels an seeing all the other "nerdy" people are yelling at me about how this should be that and tha tneeds to be this and this is how youg et it to be perfect and to get likes and the algorithm and the beep beep boodobop- like I DO NOT CARE. I do not care.

I like the concept of making ita bags, of collecting merch, even having display shelves or rooms dedicated to collections. Again, inherently there is nothing wrong with this- and esp as an adult, I think it does bring me genuine joy to buy ye old merch. But i'm tired of pretending I don't feel the external pressure to be a "cool" kind of nerd. Cool nerds begone.... cringe nerds prosper. I will enjoy my nerd things in such a genuinely cringe and authentic way, and I will not care if im "doing it right" or not. Boo you whore.

[moriartyluver]

OMG MOTHER YOU ARE FEEDING US THIS WEEK

FIRST OF ALL

NEW FALSE LOVERS CHAPTER??? HELLO I WAS KICKING MY FEET AND HIGGLING THE ENTIRE TIME

fl is so really for those thoughts about Liam icl. If I slept with a man that fine I’d never stop thinking about it 😭 The way Jack was treating her like a daughter in law 🤭🤭

DONT GET ME STARTED ON LIAM RESPECTFULLY CHECKING OUT FL. IK THIS IS FROM FLS PERSPECTIVE MOSTLY BUT IF WE GOT LIAMS PERSPECTIVE, ISTG HE WOULD JUST BE THINKING ABT HER NON STOP

liam choking on the tea in the bonus 💀 I love how you didn’t use the usuals gender stereotypes of a virgin woman with a man who’s fucked half the female population. I think it makes a lot of sense for Liam and fls dynamic too (+ I livvvveee for subby liam 😩)

ANYWAYS

The band au 🤭 I’m so excited for more chapters omg

the way I called it Are you mine? Had me SCREAMING

i love AM and the references were just too good. Most fics never get pop culture references good but I think you did amazing. I’m gonna binge pistols today solely because of the sex pistols reference and also so I can theorise on what will happen.

the band is so cool too 😭 (name) is actually the embodiment of arabella and Brooklyn baby. She isn’t a rockstar’s gf she is a ROCKSTAR GF and she is hilarious. If she was a real artist I’d absolutely adore her and go to every concert fr

The bit about her parents was so sad but really well written at the same time 😕 like you can tell they care about her and want her to have a good career but they still obviously were in the wrong, especially her father not owning up to his mistake. It reminded me of Lane’s mother in Gilmore girls finding all of Lane’s stuff and kicking her out (please don’t do that to y/n my heart wouldn’t be able to take it)

omg that bit about her meeting liam 😭 it was too too funny. Bro was probably star struck but I love how they’re similar even though you’d expect them to be complete opposites

I’ve been rambling too much now but I’m really proud of you for how well you seem to be managing both writing and college too.

-🦢 anon (aka ur biggest fan)

OMG HI AGAIN

Liams perspective may be coming soon 👀

It’s so hard to write his perspective tho icl. Like what is bro thinking.

Also yes u have no idea how much I hate opening up an mtp fic and then all of a sudden it’s just casual misogyny and gender roles EVERYWHERE like Ik it was normal at the time but surely liam of all people wouldn’t be contributing to it??

The mtp band au is everything to me rn. It’s my baby. I think of it all the time. I just loooove how creative I can be with it

PLEASE WATCH PISTOLS. ITS LITERALLY SO GOOD. THE CINEMATOGRAPHY, THE PLOT, THE SOUNDTRACK, THE CHARACTERS ITS ALL JUST *chefs kiss*

I was actually so tempted to call the fic ‘arabella’ but it felt wrong and restricting because it’s a whole ass name of that makes sense?? I didn’t want people to click on it and think it was gonna be about an oc or something I might add a few arabella references tho 🤭

I was low-key inspired by Lane’s backstory. Like the bit about her trying to find herself except she won’t end up with a Zack because I hated that mf

Also thank you sm 🫶🏼 it really means a lot. It’s pretty tough doing updates but I still want to interact with people on tumblr if that makes sense but I also have to prioritise college too 😕

And dw I don’t mind rambles. Please feel free to send almost anything to my inbox, I really don’t mind <3

[knuttydraws]

I also do art, and have been trying to figure out how to soften my style a bit, and then I saw your Howe and went "Oh?" Your use of line art in the details of the face specifically is where I'm going "Hmm hmm Yes"

Also I think I just need to use a thinner brush than I currently do

I love these "Oh?" moments, had them a couple of times with other artists and I'm INCREDIBLY flattered you had yours looking at my art!! Nate's portrait is a relatively old piece, my style probably evolved a lot and in the meantime I have changed both hardware and software I am using 😅 But! I think i have some thoughts about lineart and details: 1. I abandoned the way many artists draw, which is sketching and then drawing clean lineart on top. It never really worked for me and i think using (cleaned up) sketch as the lineart layer adds a bit of crispiness :D dont get me wrong i absolutely admire people who can do pretty, clean lineart layers. I cant, so Im working around 😆 this is certainly something that softened my style 2. Indeed many people say that lineart can always be thinner... But many artists use thicker lines and make them look soft and ethereal! Still, i prefer starting from the thinner lines and then bolding them in the most important spots. 3. My fav advice considering sketching (and so, lineart in my case haha) is to simply make a mess! Quick longer or shorter brush strokes always make the piece look less stiff. and everything can be cleaned up later, thats the wonder of digital drawing after all. @kallielef is absolutely my inspiration in terms of this soft and messy (in the best way) type of sketching technique. 4. Experiment with lineart colour! Back then i was clearly in my black lines era, but now i am being a bit creative about it 😆 5. Brushes are not the most important thing, but finding a nice sketchy one is always cool. Currently im using this one for CSP. 6. 'Thicker outer lines, thinner inner lines/details' is the rule I live by :D That being said Im still an amateur and maybe in a year i will look at it and think - what kind of crap you were telling this poor person 😂 but that's what works for me at the moment! Thank you for the ask!

[breadboylovin]

NEW POST FOR MY 95060 PLAYLIST!!! complete with explanations of every song choice under the cut because i love explaining my own creative decisions for some reason (PLEASE DO NOT FEEL COMPELLED TO READ ALL OF IT IF YOU DONT WANT TO ITS VERY LONG LOL). i may add a few songs here and there later on, or more likely rearrange what i've already put in slightly, but for now i consider it done.

alright now heres a look into my twisted mind

PART 1: TEMPTATION

Franz Ferdinand - Michael: It's a song about seducing someone named Michael. What more can I ask for (serious explanation is that it’s also very homosexually charged like you just have to listen to it… also feels taunting in a way where it’s like ‘oooooh you want me so bad’ and he’s RIGHT Michael DOES want him so bad). Also credit to this post for letting me know this song existed and inspiring me to make this playlist in the first place :-3

Mystery Skulls - Paralyzed: Just another song about how Michael is awestruck by David and feels compelled to follow him for whatever reason (the reason is that he wants him so bad)

TAEMIN - WANT: This is one of three Taemin songs on here because I think if David survived until present day he would fucking LOVE Taemin. Anyways this is a song about knowing you’re hot shit and everyone wants you and I think after seducing Michael through fucking?? Fatal motorcycle races and evil noodle mind tricks??? David deserves to feel that

Glass Animals - Gooey: OHGHGHGHFH THIS SONG… the vibes are impeccable on this one, Dave Bayley’s alluring voice feels like a slight remix of what David is going for and the way it feels like the singer is trying to convince the listener of something (even though it’s purposely vague) just FEELS like David with Michael. The line “I can’t take this place, I can’t take this place/I just need to go where I can get some space” especially fits when imagining how Michael is new to Santa Carla and may want a place to belong that David and the boys are happy to provide

TAEMIN - Impressionable: I see this as the moment that Michael downs the bottle of “wine”, where this song is David’s internal monologue reveling in how easy it was to charm Michael and get him to join. I always thought this sounded like a taunting villain song so it just fits. Also it’s like ridiculously horny which is a plus

PART 2: THE RELATIONSHIP ITSELF

MGMT - Me and Michael: In my head this is directly after Michael drinks the “wine”, and if it were an actual song in the movie, it’d play instead of Cry Little Sister in that scene. I already made art related to this but I really just love the juxtaposition between something that Michael will later see as horrible (becoming a half-vampire) and David seeing it as a perfect slow-dance moment. Also “Me and Michael, it’s not a question now” because the blood drinking has now linked them together… mmmmm. Credit to this post again for making me find this song!!

ALI - DESPERADO: This one is less about David and Michael specifically and more about how the night in the cave went down for everyone there, starting with a soft slowness as they ate and then descending into chaos as Michael downs the wine and they celebrate a new addition to the pack. The bacchanal energy is off the charts

Dorian Electra - Man to Man: This song is just one that I attribute to all of the boys because I think they do a lot of homoerotic sparring. Also the part of the movie where Michael punches David in the face and David just goes >:-3 back at him

Chase Atlantic - Friends: I don't know what it is about this one but it just Hits… The chorus kinda sounds like David and the boys trying to convince Michael to stay with them instead of coming back to human society after drinking the blood, in the same sort of taunting manner that they had when David (presumably?) made Michael hallucinate the bike lights and sounds outside of his house

Taking Back Sunday - You're So Last Summer: THIS SONG IS JUST REALLY GOOD. I don't know what it is about this one either… I guess the “Maybe I should hate you for this/Never really did ever quite get that far” part could represent the first glimpse of Michael’s more conflicted feelings about David. Also the second half of verse 2 not only fucks so hard but could also be indicative of Michael’s repressed gay feelings, lying to himself about how he wanted to be around David because he’s cool or whatever but he actually just has the hots for him and would let him do anything if he asked to

MGMT - Little Dark Age: Mostly here just for vibes. Have y’all seen that one edit set to this song? Yeah

The Neighborhood - Prey: I feel like this song captures the general unease that Michael feels right before he sees the boys kill for the first time, knowing that he’s probably turning into a vampire and something horrible is happening… especially with “Something is wrong, I feel like prey” just generally describing what it must feel like to be a human among vampires (though he’s not fully human anymore at this point)

PART 3: REALIZATION + FIGHTING BACK

TAEMIN - Criminal: YET ANOTHER TAEMIN SONG!!!! It’s all about realizing you're with someone who’s like, an evil manipulative villain and genuinely bad for you but you can’t escape just yet because you’re kinda into it. I don't think David is THAT bad of a guy, but Michael could be like “I need to get out of this situation because this man is a vampire but I feel attracted to him and it’s hard to really get away”. Also the line “My hands holding yours that stabbed me are not clean either” just HITS cus Michael hates David’s vampirism but HE’S a half-vampire now so it’s not like he’s innocent either. This is just a really good 95060 song AND a good song in general, listen to it even if you don't normally like K-pop cus it slaps

Glass Animals - Wyrd: This would be the moment where Michael snaps out of it and just starts running away, but to no avail, because he’s still a half-vampire (“You can’t run so you must hide” meaning that he can’t outrun his new monstrous nature, the best he can do is hide it until it eats him alive). Meanwhile David laments over how this is a stupid decision from his perspective (“So, my friend, our time is done/You and I could’ve had so much”)

Moonface - Minotaur Forgiving Theseus: This is a very veeeeery bitter song from Michael’s perspective about David being a vampire… with the “You’re just a hitman” repetition referencing how David. Y’know. Eats people. And the “I heard you're coming for me now” references both how David first approached him and the impending confrontation

The Neighborhood - The Beach: This song goes from the bitterness of the previous one to a pseudo-acceptance of the end of their brief friendship and what’s inevitably going to happen next. However, I think the bridge of the song illustrates the little bit of Michael that doesn’t want this to happen, that wants this relationship to somehow work out because he cares about David even if he is a vampire (unfortunately he ends up repressing this because he feels a duty to kill David now)

Gorillaz - Rhinestone Eyes: This is mostly in here because of the music video, the buildup to a battle just echoes in my head whenever I hear this song now. In the context of this playlist it makes me imagine David looking up at the Emerson’s house from the hotel (and Michael doing the opposite) knowing that something’s about to happen and it’s going to be horrible

Glass Animals - JDNT: This entire song feels like the climax of the movie. Verse 1 feels like the Emersons and Frogs getting ready to attack the cave (“I’m all armored up”) with “I feel that final poke” being when Marko gets staked, and the chorus right after is a tinge of regret that Michael feels once the plan starts to take shape. Verse 2 is the other boys waking up to see that Marko is dead + them dying themselves (“Where my funny friends gone?”) and the bridge is Michael and David’s fight before Michael finally gores David on the antlers. The outro of “You can’t breathe without me” VERY much feels like David taunting Michael from beyond the grave, knowing how much Michael loved him and how horrible what he’s just done is

PART 4: GRIEF

The Brazen Youth - Burn Slowly/I Love You: Ooooooghghgh the conflicted feelings about their relationship is STRONG in this one… The “Burn Slowly” part being him trying to convince himself that he did the right thing by killing David while the “I Love You” part is him realizing that he really did love David and it fucking hurts

Sufjan Stevens - The Predatory Wasp Of The Palisades Is Out To Get Us: MAN. MAN… Everything past “I can’t explain the state that I'm in” is just so… it’s Michael realizing what he had even more and just how much it hurts that he’s lost it. He knows he was in love now and it fucking hurts SO MUCH!!!!!

Sufjan Stevens - The Only Thing: [head in my fucking hands] Michael moping around Santa Carla because it feels empty without David. All the “should I tear my eyes out now?/Should I tear my heart out now?” parts oh my GOOOOOOOOD sufjan stevens i'm going to slap you on the head.

Paramore - Tell Me How: THIS SONG HURTS SO MUCH ITS SO. It’s another one about conflicting feelings so theoretically it should be earlier in the story but I always envision something very morbid when listening to this (and have now written a fic about it so check that out)… Michael going back to the hotel where he put David’s body and musing to no one, asking how he’s supposed to feel now, the “And always coming to your defenses” where Michael keeps defending David and their relationship to his family who all think David was a horrible monster… this song fucking hurts. Also I unintentionally drew a parallel between JDNT’s “You can’t breathe without me” and this song’s “Do I suffocate or let go?” and now that I’ve realized that it hurts even more. Fuck this song

[atiny-piratequeen]

spreading glove around... tell your moots how much you love them and why

Glove world-

Anyway lets go.

@kimnamshiks Tay you're like,,,one of my first ask regulars and you literally never fail to make me smile. You are one of my wifeys for lifey and I really dont know where I'd be without the laughs, joy, genuine happiness you bring. Not to mention 🥺🥺 i look forward to your reviews and analyses on my work and you never fail to make me feel even more excited to write

@queen-of-himbos , @jacksons-goddess-gaia my babus! My wifeys! Loml! You both have gotten me through some of THE toughest shit, especially irl shit. Yall, Tay, Chye, Dior have all helped me more in the past year plus than some of my irls in the years ive known them. I trust yall with my life and it's always nice to see your lovely faces and hear your voices.

@gettin-a-lil-hanse my baby bear. My sweetie pie. You're another one who I've known since essentially the birth of my blog. You are one of my artistic inspirations (you, dior, atlas, amelia, tay, and kira) and I've enjoyed learning and growing together. Plus, I've learned a lot more about you know what (idk if you're comfortable with me saying) and im glad you helped me realize im p darn good at it.

@atiny-dazzlinglight fellow queen of smut content and suffering, my fucking BABY, one of the most beautiful and radiant people I've had the pleasure of meeting on here. You've been through so much but you still stop by to spread your positivity even when you're not feeling up to it yourself. Again, like the others, you're one of my artistic inspirations too and im so proud of you for your growth, both as a writer and an artist (tell Dean i love him ok?)

@not-majestic-bluenicorn Ri! My detectivetiny that will kick my ass over AtT one day. I know things have been rough for you as well but I want to take this time to compliment your hard work. The way you plan out your series' are really damn cool and professional and you're always ready to lend a hand or an ear to other writers in need. I genuinely enjoy talking to you about works (be it yours or mine, or just bouncing ideas back and forth) and I hope you continue to have a good time writing.

@angel0taiyo - my aussie firecracker, hi. I miss you babe, timezones are a bitch but I value every time I get to talk to you. You're legit one of the first fellow Domme I've found since getting into kpop (*cough* a lot of kpoppies round here are submissive bottoms lbr *cough*) and it's always so nice to talk to you about *checks notes* absolutely ruining cute boys. No but fr, ily babe and I miss ya.

@vvnte ATLAS HI WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE LGBTS SERVER DAYS AND YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME ILY SM AND IF ANYONE EVEN BREATHES WRONG IN YOUR DIRECTION IM FIGHTING. no but really. You're a wonderful gentleman and a gorgeous human being and i really do love you sm

@deepnesta Kira 🥺 ily and im super glad we started talking more often again. Ik school is a lot for you but you really are such a wonderful writer and I can't wait for you to show the world what you can do with your original works. Keep it up you funky little baby

@aaron-jamess aj. My sunshine. I really do look forward to seeing your asks, your reviews, anything. I genuinely feel like I've gained a little sibling and I'm sorry things have been rough lately but if Karma is real, the world has good for you, sweetie. You put so much good, supportive vibes in the world and you deserve it back a thousand fold.

@amelia-the-professional-smartass Amelia~♡ hi sweetie. My artistic honey bunch. I really do admire your creativity and how often you come up with your dnd ocs and drawings. You have such a firm grasp on character design and I always love reading through your oc headcanons or thought dumps. Keep up the amazing work.

@softjeon @jinterlude jey, mik, you two really are impressive and you helped teach me what it meant to be a good network admin. Being the admin of a net is hard enough. Being the admin of multiple can get to be so stressful but I'll be a damn fool if I didnt take this time to thank you both for teaching me what you knew so I could be a good admin myself and do right by my nets

Also for my little sis ❄ anon, i love u bunches bby and i think??? School might be hectic for you but I miss you and I hope you're having a good day

[scaramoon]

OKAY SO LORE I’M TYPING THIS IN MY NOTES APP AS I’M WATCHING THE STREAM TO GIVE YOU THE FULL EXPERIENCE AND TO MAKE SURE I DONT MISS TO TELL YOU ANYTHING

there’s someone playing piano?? like straight up video of someone at a piano,,,,i think it’s yu-peng chen!! the song he’s playing is so pretty :( THEY HAVE A WHOLE INAZUMA THEMED SET HE’S PLAYING IN?? THERES AN ACTUAL INAZUMA ARCHON STATUE IN THE BACKGROUND AND EVERYTHING??

the stream is in chinese!! with subtitles!!

it will be 2.0 AND inazuma is now officially confirmed!!

now there’s a trailer! ITS ALL SO PRETTY AND OMG THE VOICE ACTORS?? GOROU AND THOMA WERE SHOWN!! oh my god the pyro cube?? looks so?? scary?? AAAAH THOMA THOMA THOMA??? STOOD NEXT TO AETHER?? IM SCREAMING rn they’re shaking ayaka!! and now yoimiya!! her voice actor is so cute i’m- SAYUUUU!!!! AGHH SHES SO CUTE BYE GOROU GORIU GORIU GOROU AAAAHHH HE EAS THERE HE WAS THERE AAAAAH

FIRST CODE: AS6BQKLY9GLD

now they’re back to the set!! they’re introducing some of the developers, right now there’s aquaria who’s the combat designer in genshin and rn they’re talking about the stages and joys of development and how the process works,,,i actually like this part!! it’s nice to see the people working on a game i’m so fond of talk so passionately about their thoughts while they’re working on it :> he said everyone at mihoyo loves the game as much as we do and that it’s all of us together in teyvat and i went 🥺 ngl

now he’s talking about inazuma and how different it was than mondstadt or liyue and how different the challenges there were! they put a lot of thought into the electro aspect of inazuma as well as the “eternity” part of it. there will be more dev talk later and now they’re just announcing the fan art contest that starts today

now they had a set change and there’s a different dev, and now they’re talking about the cultural and design aspects of inazuma! they say they love to see fan theories and that they often leave little clues in the game and that it brings them joy and motivation when people find and decipher them. they’re talking about the tea house now and the shiba inu that owns it; they hope players can discover all the little details the writers and designers put all over inazuma,,THEY JUST DRANK IN SYNC BC THEY STARTED TALKING ABOUT UNIFORMITY IN INAZUMA IM SOBBING,,,,ok wait it’s actually rlly interesting bc they’re talking about how they made sure every single detail in inazuma contributes/reflects the story and the “electro archon strives for eternity” story i’m- they’re currently talking about the real life inspiration they had, for example how the sacred sakura tree came to be and what it means

now they’re showing character combat (?) trailers!! ayaka is first, now yoimiya!! they’re actually showing the pyro cube in yoimiya’s!! THEYRE SHOWING SAYUUU MY BBY SHES SO CUTE they’re joking about how genshin players have been waiting for ayaka since the beginning of the game lmaooo bye 😭 they’re talking about the new characters now, what kind of people they are, what to expect from them and what their character traits are!! ayaka is elegant but also sweet and cute, yoimiya is creative and somewhat childish, enthusiastic and gets along with everyone, sayu sleeps a lot to grow taller and is a very well trained tiny ninja

we’re getting two new story chapters, act I and act II as well as ayaka’s and yoimiya’s story quests!!

THEYRE TALKING ABOUT THOMA, he’s observant apparently and has a very mysterious character!! they’re also talking about sara and kokomi AAHHHH GOROU GOROU!! they didn’t say much about him other than that he’s very dependable and fierce in battle!! they also mentioned yae sakura!!

SECOND CODE; GBNA9J5H9Y4H

another scene change and another dev, now it’s cissie!! she’s the one designing the inazuma map/landscape creator and they’ll be talking about geological design and the scenery of inazuma since it’s a archipelago as well!! she’s talking about the different uses of colour and shapes and how they’re using them to impact the player’s gaming experience; she also said that they tried to pay homage to classic ghibli movies with some of the design choices they made!

rn they’re showing “the shimmering voyage” which is the 1.0 ost w 68 songs which will me available soon!! now they’re talking to yu-peng chen THEY HAD THE LONDON SYMPHONIC THEATRE RECORD THE MONDSTADT SOUNDTRACK, THE SHANGHAI ONE THE ONE FOR LIYUE AND NOW THEY ASKED THE ONE IN TOKYO TO DO THE ONE FOR INAZUMA?? HELLOO?? they pay attention to the smallest details i swear i respect that so much wow

THE THEATRE MECHANICS EVENT IS COMING BACK IN INAZUMA!! we’re getting gardening for our tea pot too!! new enemies called “ruin senitel (?)” which is essentially a worm version of the ruin guard?? it looks weird and scary ngl,,,we get new fatui enemies, “the mirror maiden” as well as normal human enemies in inazuma, dressed like samurais,,

ayaka’s banner is first, then yoimiya & sayu,,,we get 2 new 5 star weapons as well 5 new craftable inazuma weapons. we get 2 new artifacts sets, emblem of severed gate and shimenawas remembrance, we get the ability to choose an artifact by sacrificing 3 5 star artifacts and creating an artifact strongbox; new system for the weapon banner: you pick which of the 5 star weapon you want and if you don’t get it, you get “fate points” and with those you can choose the one you want!

THIRD CODE: LS6T4L9ZZ7TH

and that was it!! yu-peng chen is playing the piano again as a farewell, i guess

AHH TYSM BBY ALL THE KISSES FOR YOU 😞🙏

i really like how much detail they put into it though :( like i’m ngl i am an impatient little shit but fr its so nice to know the devs love it as much as we do, i’ll gladly wait knowing they put so much detail in it :(

ALSO SJDJFJ kazuha and sayu sleeping on warm rocks together send tweet side note: big brother kazuha is v sweet me thinks, they’re related now i said so

i saw some stuff about thoma when i opened twitter a second ago and people are lowkey pressed that their characterizations of him are wrong 😞 that’s what they get for saying he got downgraded 😁

also,,, ruin sential,, y’know the “upgrade, go back, I SAID GO BACK” meme ?? that’s me w ruin guards, hunters, and graders so 😃 i stg if that thing can go underground i’m gonna cry. OH ALSO i heard about the garden thing a while ago and i don’t remember a lot of what was said but it’s really cool >:)

pov you’re me using kazuha to fight the samurais bc i think it’s funny

OOH WAIT THE ARTIFACT THING SOUNDS COOL THOUGH :0 do we just get to pick what type it is, or do sub stats and stuff carry over/give you a higher chance of getting certain sub stats? either way i’m v happy about that i have so much maiden stuff and uh. no one to put it on :”)

the weapon banner thing sounds cool too :> i don’t have a five star weapon bc i’m scared to waste primos but mayhaps if i can choose... >:)

also shout out to yu-peng chen for being amazing, thought one of the mondstadt songs would be easy to play and i was Very Wrong

[mis-calculated]

I'm sorry i mean this in the most well intentioned, i want to support good credible people and stand up for people who have been wronged or marginalized by shitty people in power but i am honestly very frustrated and tired by the large issue of cancel culture from all sides.

And this isnt to say that people who are documented to be shitty shouldn't lose their position of power to others way more worthy. But theres a lot of moving parts to it that make it way more complicated than people have a tendency to paint it and I'm just so frustrated and hurt by a lot of people.

I don't understand why the fuck internet celebrities, particularly in the youtube gaming sphere can't just be decent people for once in their life. And this isnt even from someone who "stans" their favorite celebrities or anything. When I engage with youtube I legitamentally just watch content creators I enjoy and sometimes allow myself to get inspired through them. I don't really engage in fandom culture, I hardly ever even super find it important to meet them at a convention, I literally just watch videos about games I enjoy where the creators seem nice and intelligent and inspiring in some way and just think about them as cool people I wouldn't mind being friends with if circumstances were different. And even after appropriatly distancing myself like everyone on this website says to do, I still end up getting hurt because the average celebrity apparently cannot handle their fame going to their head in some way. I'm angry at creators for letting themselves sink to these levels.

I'm also frustrated at everyone on all sides' inability to fully grasp the weight of what their content means to people and how it affects them. Im angry at content creators for not realizing that through theyre platform they do have a bit of a responsibility to their fans and that even a fan that engages on a healthy level with a piece of creative work is likely to be moved by it in some way. Im also angry at people that continue to perpetrate the idea that if you feel some sort of genuine hurt and sorrow towards media with eventually problematic creators, that you are also problematic and a shitty person for not dropping it immediatly. I am not kidding when I say I don't know how I would have made it through middle and early high school without the Harry Potter series, and I'd be lying if i said that it wasn't one of the most impactful things I read to my creative endeavors, as well as still being a comfort universe for OC's I have purely for myself. Does that mean I support J K Rowling being absolutly shitty towards trans people recently? As a fellow trans person, absolutly not. The Game Grumps Wind Waker playthrough is a series I literally watch at this point as one of the few things that can calm me down when I'm having a panic attack. I think I've been watching their playthroughs since I was twelve years old and whether people like it or not, it has affected me in a profound way. Does this mean if the current allegations turn out to be glaringly true, or others continue to come out, that I am supportive of these disgusting behaviors? Absolutly not. But it still fucking hurts like hell.

Another layer to this has been the rising conversation in the classical music community about the unfortunate reality that much of our musical canon is from old white guys, some of which with deeply racist or classist views. And yes. I genuinly think its so terrible and unfortunate that the only music we have record of reflects pretty much one singular demographic of people, while everything else was pretty much lost to the unpublished masses. I also want to continue to dedicate some of my musical efforts to continuing to support female, lgbt, or poc in the classical music scene who are unfortunatly fighting against more of an uphill battle than I can fully comprehend due to my own privilages. Last week a kid in the year below me made a comment about how infuriated he was that the music history professor talked about Wagner in class without mentioning his gross antisemetic views, which i think is pretty justified anger. I think its really important in mentioning in these figurehead composers, especially people like Wagner who's platform was grown from his antisemitism, both their work but also their moral problems. However, they then said that we should stop learning about Wagner because of the shitty things that he's done. And I've heard that same sentiment echoed all the time in classical music recently. And again I believe this is a way more complex issue where I have to disagree. Whether we like it or not, Wagner's music is directly related to an entire school of thought in music from his time, and is also a major reason in the way opera music shifted and why our modern film music exists. You cannot just extract Wagner from the history and merely learning about him doesn't mean you are continuing to perpetuate the ideas that he believed in or supporting him and providing him a platform. I would argue that not learning about him at all and being uninformed is almost worse in a way because that also leaves room for atrocities to be swept under the rug and lost to time that shouldnt be. But there are people around me that strongly disagree and may view me in a certain light because of it. And im just so frustrated with it.

I've done a lot of growing in the last year and i genuinly do want to be a better, and more informed person every single day. I am so overtly aware of some of the privilages i have due to merely my race that others do not and I continue to examine and reexamine how that affects the views that I hold and this situations that I find myself in.

But I'm also just so fucking angry at the people who screw up like this in the first place and also everyone who perpetuates the idea that media is simply just media and if youre upset youre probably also problematic.

This is a rant and a half and i apologize and hope it makes atleast some sort of coherent sense. I generally dont share my views on stuff like this because Im aware of the ways it comes off. Im just so tired and upset about the things that were important to me in my life getting tainted or ruined by people being shitty but also feeling like I don't have a right to mourn it. Thanks for reading.

[nie7027]

I finally watched Adventure in the elements AND IT GAVE ME SO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT

First from what we saw at Convention I thought Lilith was going to be Amitys mentor and and the one to teach her spells BUT NO

Amity learns her new spells from her older brother and sister! Which i love so much! Specially because it looks like they do this regularly and from that montage of them training ot looks like they have a lot of fun.

And while the former option would have been cool and expected as a clear parallel to Eda and Luz this one is cute and I prefer it because it gives us an insight to the relationship between the Blight siblings

AND THEY LOVE THEIR LITTLE SISTER SO MUCH AND SHE LOVES HER ANNOYING LITTLE SHIT OF BROTHER AND SISTER

even though they still enjoy ruining her life and sometimes go way too far as we saw from the Library episode but when i watched that I thought they were going to have an strained relationship where the twins were going to be the cool and mean teens that dont actually care that much for Amity and would ignore her and her needs and shrug away everytime they hurt her as Amity being a baby or just plain dont realize what they are doing BUT NO

They love their baby sister, and they look after her and are apologetic for what happened at the library even if ts in their own older annoying sib way!

They care for her more than they let on...actualy they show it a lot but it just gets overshadowed by their messing around.

They take her to train to the most magical place in the boiling islands because they know serious Amity takes magic.

They jump to the front to protect her(and Luz) the moment danger comes up

They love Luz and get happy whenever Amity and her get close even if they cant help but tease her (they probably are realizing Amitys crush on Luz even before she does)

I havent watched Understanding Willow but i saw the spoilers about what Amitys parents make her do which in turn puts the twins comment about Amity finally having a cool friend in a new light! Because! they didnt just said it to annoy Amity but they are actually happy Amity is befriending Luz because this means she is starting to rebel her parents!

It isnt far to believe their parents imposed their strict control over the twins too amd whether they meld to it or not is yet to see because while they dont seem to be the proper and correct witches their parents want they domt hang with anybody but themselves either.

This episode gave us an insight into the twins different personalities too instead of just seeming they are the same.

Edric is the most irresponsible and inmature from the two more prone to goofing around and try new things(trying out Edas methods) while Emira seems to be more strict controlled and meaner deeming new stuff as just goofing around and when push comes to shove she acts like the oldest taking the reins

During training she was doing attacks pushing amity into defense while edric was more likely playing with her, she made dinner and scolded Edric whenever he was messing around and she was the one to talk Amity into doing the new spell while Edric was the first to mess with her whenver Amitry dropped her guard.

It seems like out of them Emira was the most influenced by their parents ...

...which we know is wrong and is another way the show has to open discussiom amd criticize the witches way.

All we know from magic and its origins we have learned from Luz.

The witches, even Eda, didnt know they were using glyps whenever they used magic. They just think they are making their circles in a special way. And if they didnt know about the glyphs they certainly didnt know they can be found in nature and that magic is a gift from the island as Luz and the first witches, which this episode strongly suggests, knew which means...modern magic or they witches see it is a corrupted form and Luz is here to correct it.

This is even more stronly suggested with Amitys training wand.

Amity depends on a faulty wand to learn new trickes and use her magic and when the battery dies she is left useless which she shouldnt be because Luz never need it to learn new spells amd i think this speaks a lot of how they use magic.

It seems like for witches society magic is a limited source that can be emptied while for Luz it is infinite.

And one would wonder why? Why the sole fact that Luz uses glyphs changes this?

Easy.

Whenever Luz uses magic she is using it from an outside source. She is taking from her surroundings and using them for her magic.

Whereas witches use themselves as the source amd belive magics comes from within (the magic glandule eda spoke about)

And yeah people probably have magic inside amd it would make sense to use it instead, right?

At first one would even think it is more poweful that way but the truth is it is not.

Becase a person is a limited source that will eventually dry themselves if they are not careful

Whereas Luz wont have this problem. Because magic is a gift from nature.

And here is where the corrupted view the wirches society have come into play.

Because Luz ways is harder, its more difficult. It involves looking outside and hearing what nature has to say and listening and trusting in something outside yourself.

Whereas the way witches are doing it allows them to separate themselves, to think they are the ones in control. That it comes from the inside and they only have themselves.

In a wider way these distintcs approach eson magic can be viewed like an analogy for individualism vs community.

In a simpler way they can be viewed as an analogy on the discussion on creativity amd its origin.

People like to think creativity comes from the inside, talent they call it, and that only those who have it will rise to the top while all the others stay below

And this is bad and why a lot of artist end up burning out.

When creativity in reality comes from the outside and you get inspiration from observing your surruoundings and the stuff you experience.

Like magic. Like Luz does it.

And before i finish this i want to ask something because ok we settled witches have a corrupted view magic but Why is that?

Who would do that?

Who benefits from witches burning and drying themselves doing tasks they could easily do the other way?

Who sees the witches as simple pawns that exist merely to serve?

As soldiers that can be discarded?

Who is limiting the magic?

Eda already told us.

Basically Eda may had been the first to rebel the emperors system by refusing to join a coven and limiting her own magic and but Luz will be the one to dismantle the system by teachin the witches there are other ways

And here is where my other analogy of individualism vs community comes from.

[make-an-undertale-blog-why-not]

different versions of sans.

here’s a list of what they say about you if you want (not 100% accurate):

smol - you and me think the same pal. unless you draw “smol” as a low-effort way to portray him in some sort of reddit x 4chan-style joke where sans shits on the floor and calls papyrus a slur. but as long as you’re not like that then you’re probably good. your main source of undertale content can vary, though it likely could be from your own thoughts on the game. what kind of person you are varies a lot here and i couldnt tell ya anyway because i draw sans like this.

classic ol sans - you don’t want to go off-model by much. you care about source material and likely try not to put too many “stretchy” headcanons in any media you make. this basically means you take what the game gives you, even if it’s like, unused stuff or posts toby fox made on twitter. nothing too outlandish. you might make a lot of theories based on only what you see in the game, and fact-check other theories in your head, but still learn new things from them and apply them to your own understanding of the world. your main source of content probably comes from the game itself and others’ let’s plays. what kind of person you are varies a lot here and i couldnt tell ya anyway because i draw sans like this sometimes.

fanon v1 - you take creative liberties and change small things (color the eyes blue, add dots, fluffen up the hood and slippers). you like fluffy content and probably follow a few undertale au blogs. you like the edgy side of sans and tend to focus more on that maybe. chances are, you tie sans’s eye thing to his emotions for some reason. you color the hood white because that’s what everyone else does so at this point it’s weird seeing the hood with any other color. you’re cool and good probably. your source of content is very very very likely from other creators’ comics and art. probably also undertale vine compilations. you’re most likely an alright person.

fanon v2 - you focus on the “haha funny skeleton man” side of things rather than the “strongest enemy and doesnt think anything he does matters” side of things. you leave his shirt off to express his laziness, because that’s how you interpreted his sprite, or because you saw that one page of concept art and decided that was the canon look. you give sans sneakers and a blue hood because that’s what he has on the steam card. you see sans as a comedian who tells jokes so bad they’re good, drinks ketchup all day, and annoys his brother. your content might come from joke comics and what you see in the game. but it gets a little hard to see where content comes from at this point. you’re probably cool. you probably either relate to sans more than fanon v1 or are just, like, less emotional i guess. like, yknow what i mean probably.

uncle sans - i probably love you. chances are, you follow the guy who made the dunkle sans comic and were inspired by that type of sans. either that or you came to the conclusion the same way that guy did. i have no idea where your undertale content comes from, but you like to imagine sans as a guardian-type figure for the human. you probably think sans gives great hugs. you’re probably either a big ol softie or you want sans to be your dad.

realistic - you either received a commission, played undertale once or twice, saw the popularity of the character, or were attracted to the design and decided to make this guy look more realistic. what i’m saying is that it’s unlikely that you are a knowledgeable fan of undertale like some of these other people. not saying it’s impossible, just unlikely. if you show sans with both the white pupil AND the flashing eye, you either like it like that or haven’t done your research. assuming you are a fan of the game and have made other content for it in the past, i guess this is just.. how your art looks. which is cool and good, i love me some realistic cartoons. i dont know what kind of person you are, all i know is that you intimidate me. i’m scared of you. you have a power not many people possess.

sexy tall sans - (stick to the end if none of what i’m saying applies to you) fuck you. i hate you. burn in hell. you probably ship fontcest or you ship sans with the human. let the man be short and chubby. but DON’T put some sort of stupid magic blue slime as his fat. do not. no. none of that shit. and stop giving sans a tongue. he doesnt even fucking open his mouth, you can’t make out with him. he’s not a sexy guy. he’s the least sexy guy in the whole game. don’t like, actively change his design to be sexier. why dont you go after a character who’s already sexy, like heats flamesman? it’s as a very wise guy once said, “sans the skeleton is not real. you’ll never be his wife.” chances are, you’re a bad person. you may seem nice and friendly, but your morals... filthy... your main source of undertale content comes from porn. if you happen to be a good person with good morals and you still lust after sans like this, just.. keep it to yourself, and don’t hang out in the wrong crowd, okay?

[flying-elliska]

Hi Ellie!! I hope u dont mind this ask ❤Do u have any advice on how to do stuff on your checklist and not get overwhelmed? I can hardly do one thing out of my to do list and then i get severely depressed for not being able to do anything. i dont think i can function like a human being sometimes. anyway youre so cool ellie!!! i admire you loads!!! - help asked from one adhd struggling teen

HI anon ! I’m sorry for not answering sooner i had a beautiful answer ready and then Tumblr just ate it T_T anyway i don’t mind at all i think it’s awesome that you’re asking me ! this is honestly still something I’ve struggled a lot with. here are a few things that helped me (keep in mind i’m not a professional and this is only my personal, limited point of view) :

- ofc the first thing is to get as much help as you can, there are lots of people out there who can help. Generally talk to people around you about your problems ; often they want to help and just don’t know how : i know the tendency to feel ashamed and keep it in but that’s not good. Some people might be a bit ignorant so maybe keep a few ressources on hand you can send to people to educate them if that’s an issue ; and educate yourself so you feel more secure and legitimate in your opinions. 

- one thing that’s helped me lots is to go on #ADHDtwitter and #Neurodiversesquad because a lot of people on there are actual adults who are sharing both their struggles but also tips on how to actually manage the symptoms and have full and happy, if messy, lives. It’s very inspiring. It helped me a lot to feel understood, less alone and gave me a ton of ideas. Some accounts to start with : @ danidonovan - @ blkgrllostkeys @ ADHD_Alien (her comics are so cute) @ dustyexner plus lots of others

- regarding having trouble doing things, this is definitely a Big Damn Problem for adhd folks. the concept of the emotional Wall of Awful really helped me with this, you can find more about it in this Youtube video by the awesome How To ADHD channel (all her videos are so helpful !! have a look!) basically the idea is that we accumulate emotions linked to certain tasks based on unhappy past emotions that make it a lot harder for us to do things and that building it down takes a lot of time and effort but there are ways to work with/around that. learning to process, connect to and be more mindful of our emotions is a huge task, but it’s often a central one. 

- don’t try too hard to be neurotypical aka ‘normal’. find the solutions that work for YOU. If they’re a bit weird ? Whatever. The point is that it works. You will probably end up having weird routines that make no sense to others but it doesn’t matter as long as it helps you. Be creative and don’t be afraid to think outside the box. I’ll give you an example :  one of the reasons i hate going to bed early is because late at night is when i feel the most free of outside obligations and therefore i don’t want to give that up. So instead what i’ve been trying to do from time to time is a ‘clown hour’ where i basically give myself permission to do whatever the fuck i want (within reason lmao) but in an active way ; basically indulge my rebellious inner 8 yr old. Last time I ended up watching martial arts videos on youtube and practicing kickboxing kicks on the Mulan soundtrack and then put on funeral music and improvised my own eulogy by thinking about what i would like people to say about me after my death. Lmao that sounds completely wack when explained to other people but the point is - stuff like that really helped me reconnect to the idea that my time is mine to do with as i please, not just late at night. Anyway my point is : make it fun, make it a game, try things, experiment. Our brains crave novelty and if they don’t have it and feel burdened by shame, pressure and expectations of course they get depressed and stuck. Give your brain the fuel it needs to work. 

- just accept that sometimes you’re going to be a mess. it’s okay. you can be a bit of a mess and also live a fully, happy, joyous life. our society puts so much pressure on us to have this Perfect Instagram Life where everything is polished to unrealistic standards and gives us the idea that your morals are linked to productivity and if you are not constantly striving to be a Model Consumer Pretty Picture you are a Bad Person and a slob/lazy/unworthy/etc and all of that is...toxic garbage of the highest order that everyone should unlearn but especially us. related to that i would be careful with use of social media, tailor it to only give you content that makes you feel good/intellectually engaged/creative because it’s so easy for us to go into bad comparative spirals.

- tied to that be careful of your own perfectionist drives. it’s veeeeery common for adhd people to want to overcompensate their perceived shortcomings by wanting to be perfect. aka you haven’t done anything in weeks and all of a sudden you have this insane to do list where you expect yourself to turn your entire life around in a week. well, not going to happen. i’ve found it so important to limit myself. for instance what i do now is i forbid myself to put more than 5 items on any todo list. once i’ve cleared items i can add more, but not before. it’s a lot less scary that way. also prioritizing is very important so you don’t get bogged down in details.

- try to be mindful of your own energy. a big tendency of adhd people is to overpromise and underdeliver because we are enthusiastic and we want to please people but we are bad at estimating time/energy it will need. learn more about your own boundaries, what things are hard for you to do (for me, it’s socializing in groups) and what gives you energy (for me it’s writing, reading and walking in the woods) and try to balance that. learn to say no, it’s tough but necessary. So that you have enough left for the tasks you need to do. 

- create an environment that is benevolent and helpful for you in which to work/do things and that generates positive emotions. Get yourself a cute notebook. Put on happy music. Don’t forget to feed yourself. Don’t give into the urge of punishing yourself. You deserve happy good things - not overindulgence as escape - but our brains thrive on short term rewards. Bundle the unpleasant tasks with more stimulating stuff (for instance i always listen to podcasts while cleaning/grocery shopping etc). Create pleasant little routines for yourself (for instance one of the first things i try to do in the morning is do a little drawing of my emotions, it makes me happy, then i have tea and i plan my day.). Put on alarms constantly so you don’t lose track of time, but with a cool song. Find yourself cheerleaders who can encourage you in a positive way. Stuff like the pomodoro technique, timing yourself while doing a task, etc, can really help. Or telling yourself you will do a thing for ten minutes and stop when it’s unbearable, etc. Prioritize joy, pride, affection, desire to help, altruism, love, curiosity, interest and passion as motivators, instead of anxiety, guilt and shame. 

- find ways to build self esteem and confidence in your own skills. it’s often a lack of that that can block you from doing what you need to because you might be afraid of screwing it up. what I did for a while, for instance, is to keep a record of the stuff i did everyday and then extrapolated the skills i displayed from that. another thing you can do is make a list of simple skills you want to learn and find ways to do that, like youtube tutorials, etc. especially when it’s practical stuff and quick to learn, it can really feel so good, and make you more familiar with a sensation of success (and if you fail it can be a fun experiment gone wrong, and self discovery, you don’t have to be good at everything.)

- find ways to challenge yourself. depression happens for adhd people when we let ourself stagnate, isolate ourselves because of shame, and get into this idea that we are subhuman and we don’t deserve good things. that is false. you deserve a happy life. and our brains crave novelty. find your passion and indulge in it, find the things that make your brain come alive (as long as they’re healthy ofc). if you’re not sure what that is, just keep trying. you will find it. but resist the temptation to make your life smaller and smaller. you might mess up but that’s okay. it’s human and it will make for interesting stories later. instead of trying too hard to ‘fix’ yourself, focus on developping your positive sides. it will give you energy, self-respect and draw you forwards like a rocketship. we thrive on passion, not reprimand. 

- anyways : i know how tough it can be. depression is really something i struggle with, too. and doing things remains Hard. but my point is, you are not alone, and you are not broken. chances are you too, like most adhd people i know, are a fun, creative, compassionate person with a heart of gold and so much to give. our main enemy is most often the shame that comes with living in a world that is not adapted to us. but the truth is we are just playing the game of life on a much harder setting than a lot of people, and we don’t even have the manual. of course it’s going to create struggle ! so i think the best thing to do for yourself is cultivate a sense of compassion towards yourself, self acceptance, and humor. 

- as a teen you probably have a limited margin of autonomy to make your lifestyle fit your needs but - there is so much potential for it to get better ! as you grow in self knowledge and ability to make your own choices, you will find the right solutions and your life will get so much better. i have heard so many stories like this. since i got diagnosed, too, my life got a lot better. i won’t lie, it’s a lifelong process. but there is so much possible. give yourself time. you are so young, and you are definitely a human being. being human is struggling with being flawed and vulnerable and imperfect. i know the world can be shit sometimes, you probably got some negative messages - especially from your own brain bc depression definitely lies to you ! but don’t let yourself be guided by ignorance and fear. you deserve better. i bet you’re also super cool. the happier you are, the better off the world will be. so invest in yourself. educate yourself, develop your self knowledge, be kind to yourself, and keep making little steps. you’ll get there. <3

[the-gneech]

(Image Source: https://www.themarysue.com/riverdale-netflix-meme-video/)

One of my writing pals contacted me yesterday: he was trying to write a story for The Reclamation Project but wasn’t happy with the results he was coming up with. In an effort to get his creative juices flowing, I sent him a link to a Pinterest board I had created to help me get into the right frame of mind.

“Maybe I’ve been going around this wrong,” he replied. “I’ve been trying to pull story ideas out of thin air, but that’s proving hard. I used to go looking at pictures, but it felt like a crutch…”

I’m here to tell you, when it comes to creating story ideas, there’s no such thing as a crutch. There are only tools!

Inspiration is a Fickle Mistress

Sometimes a story will leap nearly fully-formed into your head, and the biggest obstacle is making sure to get it all written down before you forget it. And those times when the Muse Burns Within You are amazing!

…But unreliable.

If you want to get somewhere as a professional writer, you need to be able to create stories on demand. While “writer’s block” is a very personal experience, in my own case it’s often a matter of “perfect being the enemy of good.” Writing as a deliberate craft is less like dictating the voice of the muse, and more like slopping a giant blob of clay onto the wheel and spinning it into a useful shape — and since the final product is going to be vastly different from that original lump of clay anyhow, you can use whatever you need to get it started. Write about your cat. Take a story out of the news, flip the gender of all parties involved, and set it on a space station or in ancient Babylon. All you need is a starting point!

Here are some starting points I like to use…

Image Boards

A picture can be worth a lot more than a thousand words. Looking at an evocative image and asking yourself, “What’s happening here? Who are these people? How did this come to pass?” might be all you need to get the ball rolling.

I’ve already mentioned Pinterest. It’s not the best for all applications (it’s terrible about original sources, just for starters), but just in terms of finding neat pictures to look at it’s a good start. Tumblr is another source that’s easy to search by keyword. Want to write steampunk? Check out Steampunk Tendencies. Need a very specific “anime + elves” vibe? Do a keyword search for “anime elves.” If you can think of something, there’s probably at least one and possibly several blogs devoted to it.

The point of these boards is not to give you “the thing” you’re going to write; just lifting someone else’s creative work and repackaging it as your own would be a crutch, and worse. The point of these boards is to give you suggestions for moments, or ideas, or possibilities, that you will then weave into your own stories. An old pulp sci-fi painting I found on Pinterest gave me an arresting visual image; when I combined that with my own characters and plot it became a 15,000-word story.

Story Prompts

Story prompts are everywhere, from games like Rory’s Story Cubes or Storymatic, to NaNoWriMo Word Wars, to Writer’s Digest. One friend of mine sometimes uses Tarot readings to create story outlines.

I generally find prompts to be very hit-or-miss; if I don’t have a single notion in my head, the phrase “When you come to a fork in the road, take it!” is not going to be enough by itself. However, a prompt combined with something else — a character idea, for instance, or a relationship dynamic I want to explore — can sometimes be just enough to prod me into the right direction.

Fanfic

Here’s my secret, Cap: almost all my fic is fanfic.

Everybody knows about 50 Shades by now, right? My novel Sky Pirates of Calypsitania began its life as a notion for an AU fic about “Rainbow Dash, Airship Pirate,” even if the final story doesn’t have a little pony in sight.

Fanfic is a massive creative energy generator (well deserving of a Hugo award). One of its most powerful features is that, by piggy-backing onto established properties, it allows writers to cut to the chase in their story creation. The characters are already established and the rules of the universe are already written, so all the writer has to do is figure out what happens and write that.

Remember, however, that we’re talking about tools to get you started here, not finished stories. If all you do is shave the names and serial numbers off of a fanfic and repackage it as a new story, people are gonna notice. Fanfic can give you the bones of an outline, but you still have to go back and do the work of establishing your characters, and building your world, before you can truly call the work your own.

Genre-Mashing

This is a long-established practice, and a great one. Take two very different things you love, mash ’em together, and see what sparks fly. Put Casablanca in space and you get Babylon 5. Put a roaming samurai in the old west and you get A Fistful of Dollars. Put British snark and a touch of sentimental romance into The Book of Revelation and you get Good Omens.

There’s a lot of crossover between this category and fanfic — “alternate universe,” “fix-fic,” and “X but Y” are all well-traveled fanfic paths. You could make a cogent argument that Lord of the Rings is “Macbeth Meets Der Rings Des Nibelungen,” and Tolkien did all right for himself.

Writing to Market

And of course, there’s always just finding out what an editor wants, and writing that. For The Perfect Warrior, I was given the title and back cover blurb, and told to write an adventure that matched it.

In some ways, this is just a leveled-up version of a writing prompt. Cruising sites like Manuscript Wishlist, or checking out upcoming anthologies in your favorite genres, can not only spark cool story ideas, but has the added bonus of giving you a target market and a deadline!

Don’t Be Precious

Whatever method you use to get words flowing, the important thing to remember is that writing any story is a process and a journey. Give yourself permission to create something rough, and get writing! In the words of Tim Powers, “The first draft is supposed to be crap.” Where would the skill of the sculptor come in, if the blob of clay was perfect when it was first plopped down?

[jaxcns]

y’all know this mans? yuh.. really gets ya thinkin that men might deserve rights after all huh? i mean they dont but it makes ya think! anyway.. i’m urayai ( uri for short ), eighteen, she/her, and from bumfuck nowhere usa over in the est timezone. we livin in a winter wonderland over here rn issa nightmare :) if ya feelin the vibe now then check out my statistics page yuh maybe i went the extra mile MXDDDN! anyway if ya poppin ya p*ssi to nct, love wastin time playin the sims, or are prayin for both taes scalps then smash that heart! we need validation in order to live in this economy laid ease!

basic details

( wong yukhei, cismale, he/him ) — meet jaxon wu, the nineteen year old sophomore at washington state university. i heard that the hedonist is a literature major who spends most of their time either practicing on the soccer field or interning at dorrance publishing two days a week. if you ask around, you’ll find out that the scorpio was born on october 28th, that the last song they listened to was uncomfortable by chase atlantic, and that they currently live in the kappa zeta nu fraternity house. ever since the death of carter hayes though, the only thing anyone can seem to recall when it comes to them is that they used to share a room with him at the frat house.

+ smoke-filled lungs, constellations in his eyes, denim jackets, disappearing acts that rival houdini, heart-shaped boxes, thumb rings, lazy grins, broken promises, and rainy mornings.

full sleeve on his right arm plus a chest piece in progress

ears and nose pierced but he doesnt always rock the nose

emotionally stable? no. financially stable? also no.

on an athletic scholarship for soccer but he loves hockey more so its #emohours

plays soccer, hockey, and baseball

loves the finer things in life but can barely afford the free breadsticks at olive garden ja feel

hes a snake who loves that 5 finger discount

selfish but also too invested in people he cares for

impatient as hell like.. chile

middle child ya he was dealt only the best cards in life

loves space and conspiracy theories #wow so original amirite

gets super obsessive over projects hes def a perfectionist

bisexual / bitter / bilingual

mom is a bank tell and dad is a professor at boston u

not very close to his older brother since hes off gettin his doctorates degree

very close to his little sister tho they’ve always been best friends

enjoys goin on hikes to clear his head

other than writing he also enjoys all other things creative like painting, drawing, sculpting, photography, etc

he attends a weekly art class in the city

he def dabbles in drugs so if ya lookin he can probs hook ya up

he was carters roommate 

ADAMANT — stubborn as shitttttt like fr. once he sets his mind on sumn and believes hes completely right cant be wrong then theres no changin his mind! at all! even if he realizes later that he was wrong he’d rather lower himself into the grave than admit it. he’ll also argue with you til the ends of the earth until the bitch literally dont have vocal chords anymore!

CONFIDENT — if i could’ve picked an alternate label for him then it woulda been the bellwether. he always carries himself with confidence which he gets from wearin nice clothes and accessories plus always bein well groomed ig? like his hair is always done, you’ll never find a speck of dirt on his shoes, that type of shit. even when his hair is messy it was done that way he would never go outside lookin like a wreck so jot that down!

IMPETUOUS — this bitch reckless af! he does things to benefit himself and only himself most of the time without taking into consideration other peoples feelings or how it might impact them. thats not to say that he doesnt regret it after the fact but lbr he normally? doesnt? see: selfish. hes just tryna get ahead tryna get dat coin tryna get him sum gucci slides!

PETULANT — sulky, bad-tempered, etc is jax thru and thru! and he aint afraid to take everyone down with him either. hes def the type to stir up drama ngl but he’ll back it up too and he aint afraid to throw hands! hes been in his fair share of fights and with his shiny new fake id y’all been knew hes been in more than one bar fight with more to come i’m sure!

plot ideas

MUSE — pretty self explanatory i think? this person just ignites fuckin inspiration for him whether it be thru takin pictures of them, writing about them, filmin them, drawin them, etc etc. jax always knows that when hes in a slump he can find them and that shit will come back as quick as flippin on a light switch!

RIDE OR DIE(S) — y’all already know wtf it is! we love those friends who just talk shit with each other, those that’ll go to bat for one another, but also arent afraid to be like “yo step back ur gettin a lil outta line” ja feel? literally gimme all that!

ANGST — i live for anything angsty tbh like im one of those bitches that gets bored when things are goin too well for my chara so i need someone to fuck that shit up fam!

RELATIONSHIPS — im here for it all! im talkin enemies, friends, rommates, party buddies, smokin buddies, fwb, exes, partners in crime, etc etc! im here and ready to snatch em all up!

TEAMMATES — jax plays hockey, soccer, and baseball so if ur chara does too then? uhhhh we def gotta plot cause we could go any way with the teammates thing like imagine teammates who hate each other and purposely try to hurt one another durin practices.. ugh we love pettiness!

ADVENTURE BUDDIES — hiking, goin to abandoned / haunted places, spontaneous road trips, etc! need someone or multiple people who’re down to just drop everything and go. doesnt even matter where tbh they’re just always up for a lil adventure.

SEESAW — lemme be basic for a sec ok just hol on! i rlly want a plot based off of yoongis song seesaw where maybe the two of them were together and at first it was great but then they just fell out for wtvr reason and obvs didnt wanna be together anymore. neither of them wanted to let go tho maybe it was like a comfort thing? so they just kept repeatin their same old shit and actin like everything was cool until one of them finally took the step and ended it just.. ik there’d be angst ik it and i need it!

PARADISE — the new song by chase atlantic! bitch! i felt it in my soul maybe i cried? jax dabbles in literally everything hes truly a mess so havin someone who just checks on him would rip my soul in half? someone who gives him a call randomly in the middle of a sunday night and is just like “hey ya been ok? not fallin back on bad habits are u?” shit like that. it would def be a thing where he falls a lil bit in love with them because its smth hes not used to tho that def doesnt mean at all that they feel that way about him! it can unrequited i dont rlly care tbh.

ik i forgot sum shit and ik this is a damn m e s s but if ya wanna plot then just lms and i’ll hit ya up! we can brainstorm or pick from one of our wcs idc just give this h*e sum plots i’ll literally die without em? im def the type whos down to prettymuch™ fill anything so if ya got a plot that ur rlly wantin but no one seems to be takin then give it to me i’ll 100% take it lmao! ya im desperate what about it?

[gottaenjoythelittlethingzz]

11/11/11 Tag

I was tagged by the very cool @thatfizzyyyy. Always a pleasure.

Rules: Answer 11 Q’s, ask 11 Q’s, and then tag 11 people to answer.

1. How do you feel about writing diversity?

I think diversity is important and there’s always room for more! Main cast, background cast, etc. and in media in all it’s various forms

2. Remember that one WIP that’s unnamed? Quick give it a name!

Uhhhh, “And so we meet Again”. It’s a sequel!

3. How do you keep yourself accountable for your writing (goals, daily word counts, rewards) if at all?

I DONT AND NEED TO START DESPERATELY. I’m horrible when it comes to setting goals and sticking to them. However, I’m making yet another list of things that I’d like to accomplish for 2019 (I make one every year and usually complete the items) and writing goals will be a new addition to the list.

4. What would be a good crossover with your WIP?

Supernatural maybe. Schuyler would be an amazing hunter and would really hit it off with Sam and Dean.

5. Which of your characters do you think the fandom will misinterpret the most and why?

Maybe Miguel. He’s going to appear as an ally in the beginning, but depending on how much I use him (as he’s a side character only meant to show up a few times and still in development) he may be revealed to be the very opposite.

6. Did you eliminate any characters from your original cast? Did you add any?

Main cast? No to both. I knew what I was getting into when I started formulating this project. Though, Miguel is a side character (who may or may not end up having an important role in the future) who was added in later after I had already laid the ground work for my WIP.

7. Kill, kiss, marry with OCs whose names start with A, J, and S (or close to those letters).

Kill Alexander Lestrade as he is a minor villain. (His story is currently shelved though, poor thing.)

Kiss Jesse because he’s a generally fun guy to be around.

And marry Sky because have you seen her? Have you read her personality and been subjected to her humor? She’s my fave. She’s my girl! She’s also the “good child” in my WIP.

8. Is there anything unusual that gives you motivation?

Random day dreams. Sometimes looking at pictures will trigger some creativity.

9. What’s a cool fact about your world? Or about your characters, if there’s no fantasy/sci-fi elements?

Schuyler is ambidextrous. She can shoot with either hand/eye and throw knives expertly with either hand.

*I have a million tidbits about Sky, and am working on developing them for other characters to sprinkle throughout the story. Feel free to ask me anytime. Unfortunately, my WIP is set in modern America, so I have no world building tidbits for you for this one. 

10. What was the best scene you’ve written so far?

TROD is all about making friendships and forming family bonds in the most unlikely of places. Schuyler is at the age where she’s considered to be the middle child (most of the guys are older than her and the few prospects that are around are younger). Jackson, vice president with a shared family history to Schuyler, will very quickly take a liking to Schuyler and act as her protective older brother throughout.

Their relationship is built on these small pocket moments of private discussions between just the two of them. Jackson often feels as if Schuyler is the only one he can trust and seek advice from and vice versa. I just wrote the first scene where this happens after a job goes wrong and Schuyler took initiative by helping Jackson find true north. Their relationship is going to be very interesting when all is said and done.

11. Which of your characters has surprised you the most since you started writing your WIP?

I learn something new about Schuyler almost every day it seems.

Her relationship with Jackson surprised me a lot. I knew I was going to bring background (B & C list type) characters to the fore ground and I wanted her to have meaningful relationships with each of the boys, but theirs ended up being the first to form and will end up being the strongest overall.

I tag: @sashathewriter, @push-the-draft, @alixismad, @butwhydoilikethis, @feministcalliope, @feathersandfortunes, @poder-de-las-palabras, @hazeywrites, @fangirlmo, @possiblypan-actuallyace, & @theouterdark

As well as anyone else who sees this and wants to answer some questions. My 11 to you are as follows:

1. Do you prefer to have one story to focus on at a time or do you like to work on multiple pieces at once?

2. If you could change the title of any of your previous works, what would you change it to and why?

3. About how many words can you type per minute?

4. Is there a IRL place in the world that you have yet to write about in a story, but would like to and why? (If not, where in the world do you personally want to visit?)

5. What’s a cool fact about your world? Or about your characters, if there’s no fantasy/sci-fi elements?

6. How do you keep yourself accountable for your writing (goals, daily word counts, rewards) if at all?

7. What was the last book you read? Did it inspire you to write, return to writing after a break, or write something specific when you finished?

8. What’s the last detail you remember adding to any story, character, world you created (list as many as you’d like)?

9. How many notebooks do you currently own and are using? What are they for?

10. What caused you to take your last break from writing and what brought you back to writing? (If this is too personal, than how long do you consider a “break” for writing?)

11. What are your personal writing goals for 2019?

[obsidianarchives]

Ashley Romans

Ashley Romans started her formal acting training at Pace University School of Performing Arts. She moved to Los Angeles immediately after graduating in 2015.  Los Angeles theater credits include:  Celebration's Charm (Beta), Rotterdam (StageRaw and LADCC award recipients).  Film/Television credits include: "I'm Dying Up Here" and "Shameless" (Showtime), "Are You Sleeping?" (Apple TV), "Hermione Granger and the Quarter Life Crisis" (Sunshine Moxie), "NOS4A2" (AMC new series).

Black Girls Create: What do you create?

I’m an actor. I create by acting. Collaborating with writers, directors, designers, and visionaries in whichever medium possible to hopefully create an honest reflection of a being’s life experience.

BGC: How do I create?

I suppose my entire creative process begins with healthy self trickery. Not quite deception but more healthy, playful, self manipulation. Naturally as creators we have a way of resisting and fearing whatever it is we most want to bring about into the world. Similar to a mother’s fear of giving birth or raising a child, we think “what if the world doesn’t receive my creation well? What if people are mean? What if it’s not healthy or ready?” I often find myself trying to bribe or trick my way out of this fear. I trick myself into going into my next audition as confidently as I can, or preparing for that day on set when I really don’t want to, or finding some connection with a character trait I find reprehensible.

I also think it is very important to stay relaxed and loose so one can reach a playful and spiritual place of creativity. So I try and keep myself healthy; mentally, spiritually, and physically by reading, eating healthy, journaling, praying, meditating, and exercising.  

BGC: How did you get into acting?

I would say my professional pursuit officially began when I went to study theater at Pace University in New York City for my undergraduate degree, but for as long as I can remember I always had an interest in acting. I loved watching ‘90s action/drama movies with my father and “I Love Lucy” reruns with my mother as a child at all hours of the day. I became even more interested in theater and performance through high school choir, joining community summer camps, and doing the spring high school musical.

Even as an adolescent I felt it was best to keep my professional aspirations to myself in fear of naysayers. In retrospect, I understand now that high school is a time a lot of young people are dealing with self doubt and insecurity. Considering that I was far from the funniest, smartest, or most talented individual in the theater department, I, unconsciously, kept my performing ambitions quiet even from the people closest to me because I didn’t want to risk someone rubbing their self doubt on me. I worked up the courage to audition for a couple of acting schools but I told no one except my acting teacher Douglas Hooper and a few very close mates.

I still abide by this privacy philosophy even now and it hasn’t steered me wrong to this day. I still feel that speaking one’s dreams and aspirations among chaotic or unsupportive energy environment would most likely dissipate or poison their own source.  

Eventually after graduating from Pace University through a couple months of tumbling I landed representation for acting with a management company and I moved out to Los Angeles. I’ve been able to land some great acting opportunities and gain a supportive team of people and I could not be more grateful.

BGC: What has been your favorite role so far?

I have so many favorites. The roles that stand out to me as my favorite are the ones that have most challenged me and allowed me to explore a different aspect of life, and explore and connect to the full range of the human experience. I’ve received some of my most valuable acting lessons in various roles in the theater. I played Inez, a red dressed-vixen-leading lady with a passionate, deep-seeded hatred for her ex-husband in Stephen Adly Guirgis’ Our Lady of 121st. Two years ago I played Beta, a young teenage gang affiliated boy in Chicago with a secret in Phillip Dawkins’s play Charm at Celebration Theater. This coming March I will be part of the Kirk Douglas’s production Rotterdam by Jon Brittain. Set in the Netherlands, I will play Fiona/Adrian, one half of a modern London couple who decides to make a huge change in their life. My experience acting in these productions specifically has been positively nurturing. Throughout our rehearsal process, I learned what it means to be not just a more nuanced and skilled actor but also a more supportive and capable teammate in the creative process.

In terms of film/television world, my work as Hermione Granger in Sunshine Moxie’s Hermione Granger and the Quarter Life Crisis remains my greatest acting lesson in the film/television/on-camera discipline.  Eliyannah Yisrael, Megan Grogan, Alice Pierce, other writers and producers leveled up my game up. I’ve never before been number one on the call sheet and I’m not sure if I ever will again, but having that responsibility was so enlightening. It was also an invaluable learning experience getting to work with those amazing creators and seeing those women just get shit done. It was truly an honor being chosen to play such an important and monumental literary character in this version. I remember reading the Harry Potter series as a little girl in London and thinking how much I wanted to be part of and live in that magical world. Playing Hermione in the HGQLC series was by far the best artistic adventure I’ve ever had. Exploring moments, scenes and how far we can bring characters all felt like adventures. Even our trip to Dublin, Ireland this past year felt like one big adventure. I’ll be forever grateful for that experience.

BGC: Why do you create?

I enjoy acting because I love being seen and getting to disappear. It’s a paradox but it’s my truth. I enjoy exploring the range of human experience. I love that I get to feel connected to people in the safe incubator that is pretend. I love that I get to feel and say all the things I’m afraid to feel and say in my real life. I still never get bored of going to the theater, movie or stage, sitting in a dark room with other people and watching performers simply tell us a story. I hope to serve God and the people around me through my creativity and acting. I always hope to truthfully represent a human experience no matter how high or low the stakes it might seem to us at first. Losing your phone and frantically trying to find it can be as exciting and dramatic a story as losing one’s job or finding out your spouse is unfaithful. It’s all in the storytelling and truthfulness of the moment and I love as an actor I get to explore that.

BGC: Who do you hope to reach through your work?

Honestly, the most important people I aim to ultimately reach and impress are my nieces and nephews. Yes the public, my agents, and producers are all important but I feel as though they are a means to an end. Right now my oldest niece is 10 years old and she loves the Hermione series and is always pretty excited to see me act on TV. At the moment she still thinks I’m pretty cool and I hope to keep it that way.

If this was a decade ago and you asked 16-year-old Ashley the same question I probably would have said something like “I want to be a voice for the voiceless and the underrepresented… blah blah blah.” Truthfully, I don’t think I ever really knew what that meant. I mean, I knew what it meant on a superficial-runner-up-in-Beauty-Pageant kind of level but now that answer doesn’t resonate with me as the gutter truth. Whenever I’m working on scripts, deciding on content to create or post etc, I ask myself “Is this something I would be proud to let my niece see? Is this the kind of work that can help make the world even the tiniest bit better for her?” Eventually, she’s going to grow up and have a voice in this world and I hope that her seeing me embrace mine will give her the courage to embrace hers. My nieces and nephews and all the children like them are who I hope to reach.

I really love seeing how the world is changing now. Representation in the media was so limited even 10 years ago but now it’s getting more and more beautiful by the day. With so many platforms, works such as Pose, Glow, Fresh Off the Boat, Chewing Gum, Masters of None, Eighth Grade, and more, so many beings who have been underrepresented for years are getting a chance to reach their audiences and tell their stories. And we all get to identify and see ourselves in each other. I don’t have to reach out and save the world because it kind of starts with myself and our own backyard.

BGC: Who or what inspires you to keep creating?

Oh geez, that’s a loaded question. My peers are my first and foremost inspiration and motivation. Again Eliyannah Yisrael, Megan Grogan, Alice Pearce, Jessica Jenks. It’s remarkable to watch those ladies do what they do. I love being in acting class and witnessing breakthroughs or being in a really great rehearsal with a cast mate. That’s always promising when you get to be part of the creation of something honest and true.  Even if it is just a great moment in a scene. Actors who inspire me are endless. Octavia Spencer is a fantastic actress and creator who I adore. I had the blessing of working with her once and she’s an even better human.  Lovely doesn’t do her justice. I love watching Regina King. There’s a great example of an honest to God creator and storyteller. She’s accomplished so much in acting, directing, writing, and producing. That’s also how I feel about Shonda Rhimes, Boots Riley, Jim Carrey, Maggie Gyllenhaal. There are many more. I’m sure as soon as you publish this interview I’m going to think of more.

BGC: Why is it important as a Black person to create?

As Black people, we have such a specific and loaded way we walk through the world. The Hermione Series has such a beautiful tag line.  It says “HGQLC - Write Your Own Ending.”  I’ve always loved that because it gives power to the subject.  As Black people it is our responsibility to take control of our story the best way we can.  We must feed our communities the best and most honest images of ourselves to ourselves because images and representation matters. In the area of cinema, for years non-Black people have told their version of the Black experience and it has left us misrepresented.

BGC: How do you balance creating with the rest of your life?

It’s always a struggle to keep a balanced life. I have a tendency to obsess and quickly lose perspective but when I want to regain balance I plan my day to make sure I get everything I need in. Luckily for me in my particular art form, acting is about living so I know I can’t be a good actor if I’m not allowing myself to experience life and fun.   

BGC: Have you been able to build a support system around yourself? What does that look like?

I feel so grateful for my support system. I have amazing representation, an amazing day job with super awesome and motivating coworkers who are actively pursuing their life goals. I also have super supportive family and friends who tell me they’re proud of me just for being myself. My sister is also a great support system, someone I can speak and think out loud with no fear of judgment. I could not be any luckier.

BGC: Any advice for young creators/ones just starting?

It takes 10,000 hours to be a professional at anything. So just put in the hours, however that may look. Either do it, read about it, watch a YouTube video on it, whatever you have to do to learn about your craft and get better.  

BGC: Any future projects?

I’m going to be doing a remounting of the stage production Rotterdam at the historic Kirk Douglas Theater in Culver City. It’s a short run, performances run from March 28 - April 7th, but it’s such a blessing to revisit this work with such a remarkable group of people.  It’s a super funny and insightful play about gender and love.

In the television world I just finished wrapping a new AMC series starring Zachary Quinto and Ashleigh Cummings called NOS4A2. I don’t know the exact date it is to be released but it’s happening soon. The series is based of the hit novel by Joe Hill and it centers around a teenager (Cummings) who uses supernatural abilities to track down the seemingly immortal Charlie Manx (Quinto), who steals children and deposits them in “Christmasland.”  I play a Detective Tabitha Hutter trying to suss out the truth. This series has supernatural fantasy, horror, action/adventure, procedural, and family drama. Everything you want to see.