#dont get me wrong i am still so god damn fucked up in the head and i need therapy but its still a nice thing to notice

[our-lady-of-mcr]

everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn

[surunoita]

just some 5am rambling but i think it's really cool that as i'm entering my late twenties things that used to trigger me to an extreme are starting to feel normal again

like i had entire albums i couldn't listen to for like a decade because hearing them would send me right back to the time in my life when i was listening to them on loop and feeling extremely unwell and now i've been slowly adding songs from then back into my rotation and i'm feeling joy ! i'm feeling so much joy ! from listening to them and knowing all the lyrics from my heart idk i think it's very cool and i'm hopeful for the future :-)

[cetoddle]

okay. i am going to continue being stupid. and lowkey embarrassing. and a big stupid fucking idiot. i don’t know what’s wrong w me just ignore me forever okay? okay <3

[redbullgirly]

The Dancer [FA14 smau]

Fernando Alonoso x dancer!reader

Masterlist

Summary: Few months after, everybody laughs when they remember the rumors about Fernando Alonso and Taylor Swift dating. Would they laugh though if they new it maybe wasn't so far from truth as it may seem? Well, one thing's for sure - Y/N and Fernando will laugh very much while soft launching their relationship... and confusing everyone with swiftie content thanks to her job.

Warnings: Maybe wrong dates and timeline of The Eras Tour, but whatever XD.

messages between Y/N and Fernando

fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram

liked by alex_albon, zhouguanyu24, pierregasly and 562,109 others

fernandoalo_oficial I was taken by the view like we were in Paris... romance is not dead.

view all 4001 comments

user1 i dont think my brain can comprehend so many things all at once😨

user2 right? I'M IN SHOCK

user3 fr fernando wants to give us a heart attack😭

lilymhe I see what you did here...

alex_albon I indeed see what he did here too...😏

user4 guys tell us what he did pls I'm begging youuuu

user5 Alonso soft launching was not on my 2024 bingo card

user6 him soft launching with TAYLOR SWIFT wasn't on MY bingo card 😭

user7 How he's suddenly so hot in the first pic? Like damn sir okay🫢

user8 girlfriend effect is real y'all

georgerussell63 Mate you can't do that to me, I just woke up 😧

user8 lmfao princess georgie is as confused as we are xd

fernandoalo_oficial sorry mate, don't get wrinkles🤞

gerogerussell63 What even is that choice of emoji?

fernandoalo_oficial well, someone is original with an emoji and someone is original with a pose... choice is yours 😃

georgerussell63 Stop it's been almost a year 😭

user9 not them bullying each other💀

user10 Yeah the duo we didn't know we needed

user11 I saw the first picture and almost spat out my drink in shock of such a hot photo of Nando. Then I swiped and literally choked on it because the last think I'd ever expect from his photo dump is a soft lunch of some baddie girl🫣

user12 I am delusional for thinking Taylonso could still have a chance, aren't I?

user13 well i mean you basically answered it yourself so... yeah XD

user14 OMG WHAAAAAAT😱

user15 oh no Fernando is not single anymore💔

user16 I think I accidentally teleported into some alternative universe... what is thiiiis?

user17 REAL

user18 fuck me this man seriously used lyrics from paris by ts💀

user19 Idk why but I kinda like this new side of Fernando😻

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by taylorswift, fernandoalo_oficial, carmenmmundt and 5,234 others

tagged: taylorswift and 9 others

yourusername crazy performance, even crazier night out and the most crazy training the day after... I call that the life of a dancer😻🎉 also my head and heart did go vroom vroom after the second pic

view all 218 comments

taylorswift I call that the eras tour life!💗

yourusername yes ma'am!

user1 damn she got our queen Taylor replying to her posts... how does it feel to live my dream?!😭

yourusername amazing! 🥰

user2 such a shame my mum didn't force me to try dancing when I was little... I could have been at podium next to Taylor Swift right now 😃

liked by the author

user3 You are such a good dancer, the shows wouldn't be the same without you Y/N!

yourusername omg thank u sm I really appreciate that!!🥹

user4 sooo... are we gonna just ignore Fernando in the likes or what???

user5 THAT'S WHAT I CAME HERE TO SAY

user6 fr I need some crazy detective from twitter to figure this out😫

carmenmmundt Hey, could you give me and lilymhe vip tickets...?

yourusername I mean... everything can be done 😏 I'll just need to ask mother Taylor bc I just used my plus one at the last concert🫡

lilymhe OH MY GOD WE LOVE YOU Y/N

yourusername I love you girls as well, we have to finally meet sometimes!!!

carmenmmundt Yeah, I think we'll have chance at the end of February at the latest😉

user7 WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE

user8 Omg are they hinting Y/N at the Bahrain GP?? F1 season starts at the end of February right?!

goergerussell63 Well hello there, nice to meet you Y/N... given the fact my dear girlfriend doesn't care about me, could you give me and alex_albon vip tickets as well?😊

alex_albon Yeah Y/N we are very big fans😊

yourusername everything for the guys that go vroom vroom🫡

alex_albon Like your heart

yourusername exactly!

user9 I AM FREAKING OUT

user9 MY BRAIN HURTS FROM HOW MUCH IS GOING ON

user9 WAIT FUCK I THINK I GOT IT

user9 AAAHHH I FEEL LIKE SHERLOCK MF HOLMES

twitter & messages between Y/N and Fernando

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by selenagomez, fernandoalo_oficial, francisca.cgomes, astonmartinf1 and 8,234 others

yourusername preparing for the next season🤞

view all 1,029 comments

user1 y/n is literally living my dream life rn

georgerussell63 Oh no... he infected you with that emoji, didn't he?

yourusername we'll never know... maybe I infected HIM with it

gourgerussell63 I think higher of you and your taste in emojis

yourusername aww thanks princess georgie how sweet🥰

georgerussell63 I take it back

user2 HELLO?! what is happening💀

dancer1 excuse me little miss y/n... is that a man i'm seeing?🤨

yourusername well... maybe

dancer2 Be fr she's trying to soft launch him for like a month now😭

dancer1 okay i'm calling you rn STAY WHERE YOU ARE

user3 Guys why's nobody talking about the paddock pass in the 5th picture!!!!

user4 omg that's a PADDOCK PASS?😱

user5 yeah it is I noticed it thanks to this comment

user6 Wait... does that mean her and Fernando have been together longer? Because she already went to a race before the winter break??

user5 idk girl we don't even know for sure she's really dating him😓

user6 idgaf about who's dating her bc even without bf y/n's sooo hot like damn... mommy🥵

user7 I'm so confused... is this Alonso's girl or not?

user8 trust me user7 - we'd all like to know that😭

user9 😍

yourusername and fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram stories

yourusername story has been seen by taylorswift, lance_stroll and 13,634 others

fernandoalo_oficial story has been seen by charles_leclerc, astonmartinf1 and 308,003 others

user1 replied to yourusername story: is that an f1 driver there y/n

dancer1 replied to yourusername story: Hope he'll not disappoint me in person when you talked about him sm 😒

yourusername ohhh trust me you'll love him just as I do🥰

dancer1 omg bleeeeh I hope not 🫣

user2 replied to yourusername story: your friends are so pretty😩

taylorswift replied to yourusername story: When you'll take him to get my approval??

yourusername soon taylor, soon... I'm just afraid it'll break the internet lol

taylorswift I think we're used to that already with Travis at this point😂

yourusername true😭

fernandoalo_official replied to yourusername story: 🔥

yourusername it's going to be okay, they'll love you 🫶

fernandoalo_oficial how did you know I was nervous amor?

yourusername I saw you literally shaking when you left to the bathroom love...😹

yourusername oh they're back come quickly!!💞

fernandoalo_oficial onmw

user3 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: IS THIS THE CONFIRMATION WE NEEDED?!

user4 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: I see what you're doing here old man 👀

user5 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: soft launch slowly turning into a hard launch and I'm here for it!!!!

dancer1 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: I guess you aren't that bad in person...

fernandoalo_oficial 😁

user6 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: screaming crying throwing up

taylorswift replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: You better treat my best dancer right Alonso!🤍

fernandoalo_oficial of course ma'am! 🫡

user7 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: So cute!!😍

messages between Y/N and Fernando

fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, f1, yourusername and 601,239 others

tagged: yourusername

fernandoalo_oficial All these people think love's for show but I would die for you in secret... #swiftie

view all 6,022 comments

yourusername I'd just like to make it clear to everybody that it's me who made him be swiftie... you're welcome💋

liked by the author

user1 OMG THE LYRICS FROM PEACE BY TAYLOR

carmenmmundt Y/N is so pretty!😍

yourusername ohh carmen ilysm you're even prettier🥹

user2 No way Fernando just really har launched his gf😭

f1 We smell a new wag!

user4 LOL you're kinda late for that admin xd

user5 Congrats and wish you well world champ!💪

user6 can we talk about how gorgeous she is???

lilymhe double date when honey?

yourusername anytime babeee!!!

fernandoalo_oficial why do I have a feeling me and alex_albon will be third-wheeling on you two?🤨

alex_albon you'll eventually get used to third-wheeling your own girlfriend and her friends, trust me fernando...🤠

user7 This girl is like a goddess, I can't even blame him ❤️🔥

user8 mommy & daddy

georgerussell63 Finally! Congratulation on the hard launch mate👍

fernandoalo_oficial and look who's original with emojis now...😂

user9 from now on this is my fav couple

user10 mine to

user11 SHUT UP THE DELULU GIRLIES ON TWITTER WERE RIGHT

lance_stroll 💚💚

user12 nah I don't know what he see in her🙄

user13 Go away we don't want the jealous haters here 🥱

kellypiquet Welcome to the F1 family yourusername!🤍

yourusername thx!💞

user14 i call this couple goals

user15 I'M SO READY FOR BOYFRIEND MATERIAL ALONSO

user16 I can already feel he'll be so hot in his new era 😩

user17 lmao nando in his swiftie and stlutty era as someone on twitter said😹

yourusername swiftie and slutty era? i like the sound of it😏

user16 not y/n reading all the comments sipping over her bf 💀

liked by yourusername

THE END

Author's Note: Hello everyone, hope you liked it! I'm not sure you should get used to me posting so often, but let's say that after Lance's social media au and the great feedback I had so much motivation... plus I'm sick, so I actually have the time to write and create XD. Anyway, I'll be glad for likes, comments, reblog and every other way of showing support! Have a great day and let me know how you liked Nando and swiftie dancer together!

[jadeoru]

SMUDGED LIPSTICK!

11: fresh start -> prev / mlist / next

now playing: i dont like who i was then - the wonder years 🎶

The uproar of cheering and applause thumped in your head. Your forehead was slick with sweat, and you were still catching your breath as you ran backstage. Your back pressed firmly against the wall, heart beating so loudly you could hear it; adrenaline coursed through your veins. You watched as the rest of the band flooded into the room, smiles spread widely on each of their faces - even tsukishima’s. Nishinoya was jumping so much so you worried he would take flight. Excitement surged through the room, it was moments like these in which you found yourself appreciating all of the effort you put in to reach this point. All of the shows that went wrong: when you got booed, when you got into fights, when there were tech problems that ultimately ruined the entire show, when your nervousness found a home inside of you, feeding off of your doubts; shaking your hands, and trembling your voice. All of those humiliating, daunting moments you faced together. Everything had to go wrong for the present to feel so right. You were exactly where you belonged. 

“Oh my god did you see the crowd? They went fucking insane!” Nishinoya practically yelled, arms flailing around as if they were fueled by raw excitement. Everyone nodded their heads exhilaratingly. “Holy fuck guys, we killed it!” you ran your fingers through your hair, wiping the sweat off of your forehead. All eyes turned to you as everyone smiled. With a shout of your name, your friends began to drown each other with their praise. Kiyoko’s voice boomed through your ears, “Yn, your stage presence is absolutely captivating - We’re so lucky to have you in the band! Without you the crowd would probably be asleep!” placing her bass safely against the wall, she walked up towards you and pulled you into her arms. You smiled so hard your cheeks began to ache, leaning into her warm touch. “Don’t say stuff like that. You’re gonna make me cry, Shimizu. Oh my god I love you so much. You're the best damn bass player I've ever seen.” you laughed, squeezing her tightly one last time before pulling away. She simply kept smiling, before turning back to the other members, and continuing her words of admiration towards them. You stayed with the others for a good while, spewing your affection to them insistently, before taking a deep breath in.

“Guys. I think I'm gonna go find Sakusa.” 

Despite being 6-foot-something and undeniably the sexiest man in the bar, finding him proved to be impossible. Your eyes searched the whole building. Every time you thought you were getting close, all you were met with were traces of him: a white surgical mask stuck to the sticky floor, a half empty bottle of hand sanitiser abandoned on a somehow even stickier table. All you could find was proof of your clean freak ex-best friend’s presence, but not the actual man himself. Frustrated, and growing tired, you got yourself a vodka cranberry and stood awkwardly in the corner of the room. Maybe he’d find you instead?

After a few minutes of wallowing in regret and reminiscence of your memories, your hopes of seeing him again were quickly discarded as a group of people approached you. They looked at you with metaphorical fangs bared, and eyes filled with envy. Oh fuck.

“Hey, ‘yer the girl that was singing on that stage, right?” one of them called out. He was tall and lanky, with messy hair and a drunken slur in his voice. the rest of them snickered from behind him. He must’ve been the ‘leader’ of the group. You straightened your back defensively, trying to seem taller; more intimidating. “And what if I am?” your eyes flicked to the people behind him, who laughed.

“It’d be a shame. Yer way too pretty to be singing stuff like that. Enough of that emo bullshit.” you scowled, rolling your eyes. Was this guy serious? “I’ll sing whatever the fuck I want, asshole.” your lips curved downwards, trembling slightly with brewing anger. He smiled at you sinisterly.

“You’ll never get a husband with that attitude, doll. Men aren’t into that edgy style ya know?” he spoke in a patronising tone that you couldn’t bear.

“Am I supposed to care what dickless men like you think of me?” you knew you shouldn’t be speaking to him like this, you knew that it would only make the situation worse. but, you were way too stressed out to deal with this maturely. If he wanted to start a fight, then you’d finish it.

“You should - Just look at you! You’d be so much prettier without that black shit all over yer face. And the screamo music? Are ya tryin’ to look like a weirdo?” Did he seriously come up to you just to say pointless bullshit like this? Your fists clenched with anger, jaw clenched as you looked at the group of men with all the hatred you could muster up. “Suck my dick.” you spoke through gritted teeth. His eyes widened with shock, surprise quickly being replaced by offence. “‘Scuse me?” he asked, but you both knew he heard you well. The rest of his group looked at each other with a sinister expression, as if they knew what would happen next. You took a step forward, not caring if your boot stomped on his foot in the process. “I said,” you poked a finger at his chest hardly, enunciating each word with a rough poke. “Suck. my. Dick.” you spat at him. Muttering a low ‘you bitch’, he grabbed your hand and squeezed it tightly, almost in an attempt to break the bone. “Yer gonna fuckin’ regret that - you bitch. I’m gonna fuckin ki-” His words were quickly cut off as he was pulled backwards by the back of his shirt. He turned around, eyes widening in fear as he stared at the man now in front of him.

Staring at this man with pure disdain was none other than Sakusa motherfucking Kiyoomi. And he was pissed. 

“Leave her the fuck alone.” he pulled him back harsher, causing him to stumble over, nearly falling. His words shot out like bullets, laced with venom that tasted like pure hatred. The man quickly stuttered out his apologies, aware of how much weaker he was in comparison to him. “Hey man- it was just a joke! We were just playin’ around!” you almost wanted to laugh at how pathetic the man looked now, if not for being frozen in complete shock. “Yeah? Well it’s my turn to play around then.” he spoke with the ghost of a smirk on his face. You could see the way his fist was clenched, his knuckles were white as he held onto the fabric of his shirt. Without warning, he raised his hand, and punched him in the gut. As he leaned over in pain, grunting dramatically, Sakusa took this as the perfect opportunity to push him, slamming the man down to the ground. The people around you quickly processed what was happening, and tried to avenge their fallen friend. They circled you and Sakusa with the look of pure evil displaying on their features. Before they could get their hands on him, Sakusa grabbed you by the arm, and dragged you to the back of the bar, leading you outside.

The cold night air pricked at your shoulders, as you stared at the man in front of you. “Holy shit, Sakusa..” you muttered, still in disbelief from what just unfolded in front of you. He took a step towards you, and with a fast beating heart, you took a step back. Your back pressed against the wall as you stared up at him. He scanned your face for any sign of injury, before whispering, “Are you okay?” In stark contrast to a few minutes ago, his voice was much softer now - much like his gaze. You nodded your head shyly, scared that if you spoke up now, you’d accidentally let out all of your emotions. You’d be damned if you didn’t think he was hot as fuck back then. You’d never forgive yourself if you accidentally told him that. He hummed at your response, eyes flicking to the door to make sure you were alone.

“Are you ready to listen to me now?” he asked, trying to sound calm, but there was no denying the desperation in his voice. You struggled to suppress the smile that crept onto your face. “What if I say no?” he leaned in closer to you, almost enough to feel your breath on his face.

“Then i'll keep waiting”

You smiled at him. You smiled at him for the first time in forever. He treasured the sight with every ounce of his being. You were just as beautiful as you were the day you left him. He couldn’t help but smile back, albeit significantly smaller. “Will you keep annoying me about this?” you asked, crossing your arms, your smile shifting into a playful smirk. “Of course I will.” he said, blunt as ever. You chuckled. “Then fine. Talk to me.”

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment before he began speaking. “Look. About… then - I…” he paused for a moment, searching for the right words to say. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for the things I said to you - For what I did to you. I know that saying sorry isn’t enough to repair the pain I put you through but I swear I’ll do anything to make it up to you. And I know i sound fucking pathetic right now but I just need you to know how much I regret everything that’s happened between us.” The way he spoke was the exact opposite of how he normally was: messy, frantic, unprepared and, of course, pathetic. He wasn’t sure how long he was talking for, in all honesty he wasn't sure how to stop. He explained everything to you, not leaving out even a fraction of how he had felt or what was going through his mind. You had to do a few double takes to make sure this was still the same Sakusa you had known before. For once, you thanked his blunt honesty. He rambled on and on, only stopping to catch his breath. When he finally stopped, you could see the embarrassment that shadowed his eyes. It was evident that his mind was beating him up for talking so much. A moment of silence hung around you. You struggled to fill it. 

You looked at the ground, taking in his words. “Sakusa.. I-” A few seconds passed by. “I was not expecting that.” you said with a nervous chuckle. He let out a quiet groan of shame, looking away from you. He was adorable. You took a moment to put your next sentence together, processing every word of his apology. With a shaky sigh, your eyes met his again. He prepared himself to face your anger, bracing himself to hear the insults you would inevitably sling at him. He didn’t doubt for a second that he deserved it. But they never came. “Thanks for… all of that.” you laughed awkwardly, “I mean it. You have no idea how much I needed to hear those words from you. I don’t think it’s possible for me to keep being mad at you after hearing all of that.” you smiled at him again, tongue between your teeth. You swallowed, before continuing, “I’m sorry too. I should’ve let you explain yourself sooner. I was just so angry! I mean- you left out of fucking nowhere, y’know? I was so pissed off I couldn't stand to look at you, because I knew I'd forgive you immediately. It sounds stupid now that I’m saying it out loud…” you paused, looking into his eyes. “I’m so sorr-” he cut you off,

“Don’t say that. You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” His voice was low, truthful. Another beat of silence passed, before he started talking again. “Do you want to forgive me yet?” he asked, not doing anything to mask the pleading look on his face. His heart was racing, and he wasn’t sure whether it was nervousness or anticipation. Honestly, it was both. The thought of not forgiving him hadn’t crossed your mind once. You’ve waited way too long for this moment. With a smile, you pointed your finger to him.

“I forgive you. But, we won’t go right back to being friends. You have to earn that, okay?” your harsh words contradicted the happy expression on your face. He smiled wider than you’d seen in a while.

“Understood.”

Without saying another word, you pulled him into your arms; hugging him tightly. He stood there for a second, before wrapping his arms around you, resting his head on top of yours. He relished in the warmth of your embrace. God, he missed this.

“Thanks for giving me a chance.”

extra:

i have nothing to say except for how happy i am to get this chapter out god bless 🙏🙏THEY ARENT BEEFING ANYMORE!!!! HOORAY!!

TAGLIST: @gojoed @anianurst @itsdragonius @sleepy-writer84 @yuminako @wolffmaiden @tenjikusstuff4 @juie13 @ilyless @arachnoia @choizzn @3lectraheart @sugarrhiccupp @bbybibi @diorzs @le000xxgrd @aboveasphodel @petrus1989 @aria-in-wonderland @walllflowerrrsss @wave2mia @loveelylacey @marimisses @alpha-mommy69 @thepurpleempath @theauthorunicorn @v1oletfury @iluvmang @slashkxe @theycallmenanamisgirl @dailyakira @loverlunaire @iovetooru @ryukumi @soupofmushrooms

reply to be added ^__^

[dr-spectre]

Hello everyone, I got some announcements to share and some plans for the future of this blog now that the Grand Fest is over and the news drought begins.

(LONG POST AHEAD!!!!)

I think going forward I'm gonna change how I approach myself acting online and be less "OH MY GOD HOLY SHITENWIOEDISIWIEOE GUYYS!!!"

Because to be honest with you all... I've been feeling very self conscious about the way that I've been acting online and I feel like I gotta channel my passion for Splatoon in a much more healthy and less EXTREMEEEEE way.

I am aware that um.... people have blocked me... and you know, that's to be expected of course when you are online and you're slowly building a following. Still really stings, though, and I think it's due to the fact that sometimes I can be sorta- "This is what happened, and if you disagree with me, you're an idiot and you're wrong!!!!!" When I make posts. And I don't wanna do that, and I don't want to come off as a gatekeeping fan that thinks lower of other people who might not know my stances very well. I wanna educate people and present my stuff as more of "Hey guys, this is what I think actually happened in this event. Feel free to take a look! I think this is really cool and I wonder what you guys think of this perspective that i have?"

And sometimes I can be pretty loud mouthed and stuff and I have talked shit towards certain characters. I remember one time I made a post where I said "what the fuck is wrong with Marie?" And said some stuff... I probably rubbed a lot of people the wrong way with that post... and other posts. I'm so sorry if I have made some of you upset in the past or have said some awful things about your favourite characters in the series...

As you guys probably know, I am passionate about Hypno Callie and I have very strong stances and opinions on her. And that leads to me get a bit... out of control. Callie is my biggest comfort character and to see certain people try and push this vile and disgusting event that happened to her... that she was kidnapped by Octavio and the Octarians when she was alone, and that he brainwashed her and forcibly put the shades on her, or he tricked her and he removed her memories too...

and I try to see the same event in a completely different lens... I see it as more of Octavio manipulating her in a more subtle way and due to Callie's poor mental state and desperation, she heard him out. Octavio used the shades as a way to control her more easily but he doesnt have full direct control over her because her influence helped motivate the Octarians. Octavio still wanted Callie to be... well... Callie. Plus, Callie was more than willing to help the Octarians as well, as she thinks they are cute. I do have evidence to back it up as well as articles and definitions explaining how hypnosis actually works and its limitations.

But this perspective gets compromised and put into question in my head when people keep pushing and pushing and PUSHING the other thing. Then it feels like I have to yell and get mad.... I've seen it as recently as when Blushing Tide came out and I looked at the YouTube comment section on one of the uploads and I just kept seeing people say "oh it's like Tidal Rush but without the brainwashing" or some shit like that idk. I dont remember it well but i know I saw the word floating around. (Don't look at YouTube comment sections. You won't get anything of value from them.)

Anyways, I also wanna cut back on swearing too because sometimes I border on being a hazbin hotel character and I DO NOT want myself to get to that level LMAO!

So what shall I be doing now that Splatoon 3 is officially wrapped up? Well... I wanna do more creative projects and fun stuff like that. I got good reception from my haikus for the Grand Fest and I think doing more stuff like that sounds really really fun!!! And it might actually give me a reason to finish stuff as well lol...

Like I have a God damn Splatoon 2 hero mode finale rewrite that's nearly done and it's been sitting on my Google docs since JULY!!!! I have also made plans to do a fan sequel to the Squid Sisters Stories that takes place in between Splatoon 2 and 3 because that time frame for the Squid Sisters has been barely touched upon. I'm also doing a personal project where it's basically what I want to see out of a Splatoon 4 and I've been really enjoying making that. I dont know if I would ever share it but... it's something to do for me at least.

I also wanna involve myself in the community more, I received an ask where someone said (I forgot who asked I'm so sorry) if I could do a thing where I receive Splatoon OCs and critique them. That sounds really fun!!!

Maybe i can do photo mode competitions or showcases!!! Where I choose a theme (Callie, water, Splatsville, etc) and people submit their photos and I critique them and showcase them to everyone!!! Does that sound like something people would be interested in?! I would love to know as virtual photography is a hobby I love to partake in and I wanna encourage more people to try it!

There is also other stuff i can do like going over the Idols outfits and rating them, but I don't have the motivation to do that at the moment and I know it's not gonna be as in-depth as the one I did for Callie.

Anyhow, that's basically what I have so far. I think im gonna slow down on posting and I'm gonna chill out. Or at least I'll try to chill out.

I've just been feeling incredibly guilty and kinda... sad that I've been acting in a certain way for a while. And I really wanna change that. I dont like making people upset and I don't wanna be the kind of Splatoon fan that puts down others who don't even know any better and don't know who I am....

But enough being sad, I wanna focus on the present and make sure that my future on here is bright!!!

[cherry-cosmoz]

Chapter 3 : new surroundings

This might be my favorite chapter 💪

You wake up in somebodies arms. Without a second thought think hard. You rip her right arm clean off. You scramble to your bag she was holding grabbing your dad’s gun from it and releasing 3 rounds into her skull. Out of breath you hear someone “h-holy fuck she absolutely slaughtered c-clockwork.” the crazed brunette looks at his now massacred ally “Big man wasn’t kidding when she said she was bat shit crazy” the man in the white mask spoke up. There was a man in a yellow hoodie and black mask but he stayed silent. “Who the fuck are you. Stay away from me!” She says The man with the white mask puts out his cigarette “listen kid you listen to us we might not hurt you” Fuck that! She snaps the twitchy brunettes leg. The silent hooded man quickly shot you in the thigh. The brunette twitching and laughing “picked the wrong p-person out the three m-missy, I can’t feel p-pain” he laughs some more The hooded man walks up to you and throws you over his shoulder. The twitchy brunette stuffs his hand in your jacket grabbing your phone. “L-let’s see what w-we have here” He clicks the camera roll “Fuck.” She says thinking of the previous selfies “Holy s-shit balls masky look at this shit!” The masked man speaks up “no shut up kid I don’t want to see selfies” well shit its kinda weird now who am i kidding they just watched you slaughter their friend. “N-no it’s d-different look!” The man you now know is masky looks at the photo of mel holding up a severed head and a peace sign “Huh maybe that’s why he wants her?” Melanie finally speaks up “I know what you’re looking at but 1 who wants me? 2 where is my dad.” the girl now worried on where her body bags were. “l-looking at it he’s d-dead” okay smart ass obviously hes fucking dead. “Yeah I know that fucktard where’s my bags with him inside of it” Masky speaks up “don’t know the rake will probably eat him” Melanie talks again “what the fuck is a rake” The hooded man finally speaks up “shut up bitch all you do is talk wait till we are done walking or something” Whatever it looked like there was a rickety cabin ahead. The rude hooded man throws Melanie down on the porch “Alright what are your god damn names I’ve already been shot and kidnapped” Melanie spoke “y-you broke my a-arm” the brunette spoke “YOU CANT FEEL PAIN DICK CHEESE” Melanie screams at him. “M-my names Toby and t-thats hoodie and t-thats-" before the brunnete finishes she cuts him off. “Masky I know, now why do you want me here.” the hooded man which is now known to go by "hoodie" speaks up again. "listen kid, WE don't want you here, the operator does." your now confused who the fuck is that. " the oper what?" masky goes to say something but the twitchy brunette cuts him off. "you know those weird slenderman stories" your still confused until you remember. earlier this year two girls stabbed their friend in the woods for that same man. " is this the same slenderman from the stabbing?" you think on how you hear about the girl that got stabbed 19 times and crawled out to get help purely running off of adrenaline. toby speaks again "ben told me about that. but yes its t-the same guy, those girls dont know what its like." well shit i know im gonna find out. "take her to EJ." alright who the fuck are all these people. we have operator, ben, and now letters. toby quickly gets closer and picks you up like a feather, he smells like pine,blood,and urine. not the best combo all i can hope is that they have showers. your thoughts were interrupted by your phone shaking violently, toby looks at it to see an elf looking entity "ben why are you in her phone." so theres one name off the checklist. "chill out man operator told me to do so and you know how it gets lonely in here" he says in a unserious puppy voice. "give me my phone" you snatch it out of tobys hands, before he could object a boy around your age pops out of your screen. "whats cookin good lookin" you couldnt help but giggle a little, meanwhile toby looks like lazari just ripped his heart out and ate it. he doesnt know why but hes...jealous?

[nicegaai]

im attempting my fic reread today. im announcing this bc i will be liveblogging to keep my morale up, NOT THAT anyone cares but i personally need this, like ill only commit to do the thing if theres an imaginary audience holding me accountable. & i like to have fun :3

anyway. captains log, its a beautiful sunny july weekend. i just finished my morning coffee, and, i am dreading this so much. i dont like rereading my own writing but i shall get over it. ok here we go.

Þetta Reddast vagueblogged directors commentary edition

Ch 1:

*opens fic and starts convulsing immediately* god i wish i smoked weed rn. i cannot chill out ever for the life of me

My Mission For Today Is: to remember what plot threads I’ve left hanging so I can resolve this story properly. And also try n remember where the flow is going. I have the end plotted out, I just am a little lost … it’s been a while :-(

------------

Abrupt beginning!!!! I’m not mad because I have . I HAD. Almost no writing experience when I started this. it isn’t ideal but I refuse to be one of those fanfic writers that starts rewriting early chapters without finishing the last ones. Ive never seen one of those types actually finish a longfic. …I’d already rather yap than actually read LMAO AHH

Oh this is worse than I remember. thats cool that s great ok alright *coughs up blood*

"20 somethings" WOW I really did not know where I was going with this when I started huh

LKJSDLKSJDLGKGDJSLDGJK ??? Who authorized this. Who let me cook. What the hell

I could write this better now. I could edit this into something beautiful. <- devil on my shoulder

FORGOT I WAS MAKING RICE BRB

"generously offered nothing to the exchange." wait STOPPPP. I’m so funny

GRAMMAR ERROR DETECTED why is there two periods. I’ll be coming back to fix that …………………. :-(((

Fuck. This is a lot. Marge Simpson Hiding Her Face dot Png

Oh this is stupid this is gayyy this is fukcinnn . Who fucking did t his. What was wrong with me,. This is so good actually. what was i ONNNN. 

Im gonna throw up and I don’t know if thats like/. A complimentary thing or if im just cringing that hard . Im feeling emotions. I love my OTPs..OT3~5? I love them so so much

Ok as much as im like “eww bad writing” this is .. dare I say, rly good in places. Not to suck my own dick but maybe all hope isnt lost and imposter syndrome is an illusion

Grammar mistake #2. Goddddddd. they should ban me from the archive for this

EMILLLLL EMIL EMIL EMIL HIIIIII BABYYYY EMILLL I LOVE UUUU AWWHUUGHH everyone clap for my bewoved baby bruvver right FUCKING now

Urghhh gritting my teeth… Im fully expecting the flow of events to start not making any gd sense. There’s no way this came together the way I hoped in my head and .... For real I was never able to read this all the way thru. this is my first time, lol. and it was all disjointed on the authorial end to say the least. Im scared T-T

Jlxjvklsdkjfsjlkdkjlsjklkljzsdkjlgaskljdgjklasljkgdljkasljkdgjklasjlkdgljkaskljdgjakl?????????? 

Im not liking the ratio of dialogue to whatever the other stuff is. scene-setting I guess. prose maybe. i could have dragged this out way longer... By which I mean made it a more satisfying read. But WHATEVER !!!! 

TIMO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIMOOOOOOOOOO NUMERO UNOOOO DO MUNDOOOOOO I really need to utilize him more. As soon as I finish this fic I need to write a Timo POV spinoff where he gets cancelled on furry twitter for proshipping in real life

Hmmmm chapter ending didn’t hit as hard in practice as it did in drafts. Oh well. God damn that was a lot to happen in one chapter LMAOO???

OH SHIT MY RICE IS STILL COOKING —— 

[bigdsgirl]

Thoughts on LND Episode 8

spoilers ahead! and screams! because ya know. this damn show.

"do you really not know? from morning until night, from child hood until now, it's been my fate and my task" - bye, i am going to combust now

the piano music has me rolling, i'm sorry lol

love that he is giving her time, especially after just shocking her with that announcement lol

the birthday card with no note. jfc. and the REPEAT GIFT??? omfg. i have so many feelings. and he goes back to the hospital!! oh it hurts!

the flashback at the pool -- oh she liked him first. "the feelings are still so vivid" - hate to say it but i think they never left babe.

his panic has me fucking cackling. "it was good, I did great" YES YOU DID BABY!!!!!!

alright the knife to head transition was kind of sick. i loved it.

throw the rock queen i dare you. NO YOU GO DO IT!!!!

I am just going feral waiting for them to open them at the same time - PUHLEAAASE! ugh boo.

aw momma & son moment - oh shit you are pretending to FORGET. SIR. oh this some bullshit. just communicate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE TIE! THE TIE! AHHHHHHHHH. no don't give it back, just keep it <3 let's start our shrine to him.

oh god mom thinks it's the ex but you would be WRONG!

HE WANTED TOI BE BURIED IN IT?????????????? WITH THE BLOOD??? BYEALKDKJAGKDFGJALFKGJAG

this girl just does not know how to respond, she is flustered as fuck and i love it

pick an expiration date to decide how much time she has lol and he is like PERISHABLE GOODS PLEASE I WANT YOU NOW!

hearts thumping let's gooooooooooooooo (and of course she bolts)

bahah this man gets sassed by the staff (i love it! you tell him!)

okay sir let's do the special! lets go! and of course we gotta start with his fave paramedic <3

the push ups oh girl, I am the same, we are just poor girls weak for our man

not the showing how they met please nooooooooo (or how mama imagines it?? lol)

i want this ex to GO AWAY PLEASE. idc what's happening, leave them alone! now!

her dad just standing right in front the CLEAR DOOR, in front of her and she doesn't see, god i love kdramas

ONLY 11 DAYS???? Girl, it's 11 days too many, just kiss him, <3

oh goodness, mom and dad got things to say. and i am sat for it!

"I don't want her to be a failure and live like me" well fuck that's a sucker punch. yikes.

these two men are hilarious i love that they are just such a mess together <3

"soaked in my feelings of inferiority" well holy fuck sir. "well mine is bone dry" OP--

dad acting like a 3-year old with his "why"

awww shit, i was hoping to see him be drunk with her. ugh instead we just got hung over.

teeeheee flash back of the drunk daddios! hehe!!

the mountain stfu, this is the humor i need in life -- phenomenal, oscar worthy performance

the way this son rolls is just like my middle brother lol, the amount of times he has tried to get family members to try crypto, oh sirrr. i am with you seok-ryu!

oh the hole in the heart, the babying. my goodness. "see if you can treat your sick child that way" --> look i know what's coming and fuck that hurts.

seung-hyo you DOG, "there are 10 days left"

also sir, where do you get your work bag from? I need it <3

tae-hui!!!! baby girl!!! ily.

ugh ruined. freaking ex-poophead is here.

look i get it, they were cute its all cute. but it's the wrong person, so I don't care.

okay they be laying it on thick with the digestive health shit - i know what's happening and i do not like it.

omfg her shock that he told her! he told seok-ryu how he felt!

okay look sir, the way your hands be clasped? the suit? the watch? it is a felony and you need to be taken to jail. it looks too damn good.

tae-hui, her outfit. ma'am the woman you are.

wait shit. i just realized -- she said she doesn't drink if I remember right? or am I wrong.

oh babe while are you pulling out so much cash. oh no oh no. mom is finding out about the cooking class. i am not excited for this.

WAIT BABE DONT TRASH EM!!! give them to me. no don't waste them!

omg the bag, not the bag. oh no. not mom.

omg yay! they are interacting <3 i love it! NO WAIT NO ITS A RUSE WHY IS MOM DOING THIS.

the eldest daughter in me is fucking quaking. I hated this growing up. the expectations. the disappointment for finding out something she loves that isn't what they want. omg.

oh i am so glad he is here stepping up for her. thank god.

this fucking hurts. oh lord. my heart is shattering for her.

he immediately goes after her, my heart, my heart. oh it's breaking.

he has a spot to comfort someone in case something happened. STOP IT WAS FOR HER.

I am having worries. every time he is a few steps behind, i worry that he has to follow her in death too (i don't want this to happen but fuck the gut is so sure)

he offered his kitchen for her!!!! ah!!!!!! hell yeah hell yeah!

he just cannot take his eyes off of her. and the nine days left, you TURD I LOVE IT.

it's observation day!!! me when I see them together like this:

oh my man look good in the uniform! <3 and they gave him a locker too??? how nice of them!!!

i freaking love the alarm music they use. the best thing ever.

oh wait. oh wait girl you gonna eat the side dishes??? hehe i love that. ope moment over. wait. he is being nice ish..... ish............ the joys of marriage lol.

oh no, oh no. is he asking for a divorce???? oh NO.

oh goodie, i hope the man is not allergic to bees. HAHAHAHAHAHAH. oh he might be. oh he is lol.

paramedics are the backbone, i always have such immense respect for them.

i also need to get this off my chest working in healthcare/public health -- never in a MILLION YEARS would a hospital actually allow the possible legal risk of having the man help with these calls. okay, now im back to la la land.

love the posters in the background of all the dramas 😭

the popcorn -- omfg. no no sir don't you dare. i will combust.

fuck he did.

girl why you pause. why you be like this what is happening. oh god it's him. and of course he is a new client. of course!

the way my man seung-hyo be acting like a child with the ex here. i am eating this shit up.

LOL of course he needs to leave leaving the two together.

THAT'S RIGHT YOU TELL HIM THAT HE HAS COMPETITION!!!!

lol me - both get out, leave my girl to cook. these two are too much, i'm cackling.

THE POPCORN YES GIRL. he is so happy about this, he is just lapping it up. and same king. same. "have some" you MENACE.

lol this man is gonna faint it's so much work. YAY CELEBRATORY DINNER! lol the bladder infection, brother TMI!!!!

"we end up dating each other" man is gonna become a paramedic to make sure he and mo-eum are gonna be together forever and no one can come between them 🤭🤭🤭

BAHAHAHAHA THE MUDFLATS MAN RETURNS!!!!!!!! I am SCREAMING!!!!!! they both just panic. wait no hold hands down there, pls <3

wait shit girl, you don't look good. girly no.

oh damn oh damn. seok-ryu. i get it but oh. oh it hurts so bad.

oh sweetie no. oh i get it, my hear hurts for you.

the WAY I KNEW - his and her secret. oh my.

now i must wait FOR MY BABIES TO RETURN.

and i will be sobbing <3

[krylng]

love at first sight~chapter 6

|TW: smut, tristan.

summary: the whole crowd is waiting for you to say the two words. Vox hasn’t shown up yet. will he?

notes: i have never been to a wedding before, so i dont rlly know what happens there.

Previous

Next

————————————————————-

”Ms. Sanders? we’re waiting. please hurry up.”

you didn’t know what to do.

you saw Velvette get up in the corner of your eye. you knew she was planning something, but you hoped it would help. Tristan was staring you down, like he was threatening you. his eyes almost said you would pay if you didn’t say, ‘I do.’

velvette walked and tripped, spilling red wine on a lady’s dress. “Oh my god! I am so sorry!” she didn’t sound that sorry, since she was holding back laughter. you smiled. it must have been a distraction. most people came to help the woman, so you snuck away. you were hiding behind a door, but you could still see everything happening. Velvette made her way to you.

“By the way, i wasn't sorry for that woman. that dress was hideous.” she laughed, picturing the ugly dress again. “Vox should be here… any minute.”

you didn’t want to leave if Vox would be here. “alright.” you made your way back up. Velvette tried to call after you, since she didn’t think it was a good idea.

“i think… i think we should continue now.” you said.

“Very well. Mr. Rodger, do you take Ms. Sanders as your wife?”

“I do.” he said with the same evil grin.

“and Ms. Sanders, do you take Mr. Rodger as your husband?”

you took a deep breath. Velvette was flailing her arms to get your attention. you saw Vox standing by the big doors in the corner of your eye.

“I… i…” you saw him bite his lip anxiously. he hoped you had seen him.

“I… I don’t!” you ran towards vox, but slowly since it was hard with heels. the crowd gasped, and your mother growled. Vox swept you off your feet, bridal style.

“those heels are going to slow you down.” he ran towards the exit, and you heard Tristan screaming, “f-fuck…-fucking get her!”

he set you down outside at the parking lot, and he straddled the motorcycle. he tossed you a helmet, and you put it on.

you straddled the motorcycle and grabbed onto him. you watched Tristan walk out, running after you. Vox started the motorcycle and took off.

things were going great. you were escaping, you wouldn’t be married to Tristan, you wouldn’t see your mother again, and, you had Vox.

you turned your head, and Tristan was driving after you in his car. why was this bitch still on your dick?

you signaled for Vox to go faster, so he did. he was swerving in each lane, which trapped tristan. you clung onto him tighter and rested your head on his shoulder. he lifted up your dress a little bit to rub your thigh. he put his hand back on the handlebar. Tristan was now a few cars away. as you exited the highway, you saw tristan drive the wrong way.

he parked the motorcycle at your house. you saw a strange car with boxes inside.

“sorry i was late, i was packing your stuff.”

you hugged him. “here. change into this, and put the dress in this box.” he handed you a pair of clothes and an empty box.

you went inside to change, and you folded the dress.

“ugh, damn it. i dont want you ever having to marry someone else again.”

“i dont want to marry anyone else either.”

“you wont have to.” he got on one knee, holding out a ring case, and opening it with his other hand.

you felt tears coming to your eyes. you covered your mouth with your hand, and nodded. he stood up and picked you up and spinned.

“now, they might be here any second.” he got in the car, and you hopped in the passenger seat.

you drove away, leaving your childhood home behind.

he rubbed your thigh again. “i can’t wait to have you all to myself.”

(minors DNI 🔔)

————————————————-

“ohh fuck…” you moaned as he thrusted inside you again.

“thank daddy for helping you. thank daddy for risking his life to get you out of there.”

he growled as you just moaned more, not saying anything.

“don’t be a brat for me, say it.”

“thank you daddy..~” you let out a whimper when you felt him hit your sweet spot.

“is this the spot, baby? use your words.”

“m-mhm~ y-yess..” your nails dug into his back when he picked up the pace and bit your neck.

“such a good girl for me. such an obedient little thing for me.”

you’ve never seen him go so fast. he groaned as he released his seed.

you both caught your breath. he moved up a little bit and choked you.

“tell me your mine. tell me you will be mine forever.”

“i’m yours, daddy. i’m yours forever.”

“such a good girl.”

———————————————————————————————

you snuggled into him, in the usual position.

“goodnight, babe.”

[freebooter4ever]

So you guys know i (try to) post daily doodles, and i have said before that i draw for about 2-3 hrs every night. BUT that also means i dont post about like 80-90% of the drawings i do each night. Today though, i've been thinking about A*I and my own relationship with drawing, and how utterly baffled i am that anyone would want to use it to like...draw for them..and how the concept that *tell a computer what art to do so i dont have to do it* is alien to me. So here's ALL the drawings i did tonight. The bottom one is the last one i did and the one i would normally post. And i want to talk about A*I without talking about good or bad end product. Because i dont care if im making the shittiest art in the universe - i still wouldn't use A*I. Not even as a ‘tool’.

If you've been around here for a while you know i have a love/hate relationship with my art. I write too, but writing doesnt make me so frustrated and angry that i want to throw my computer out a second story window. HOWEVER. There is a huge caveat to that anger.

It happens after.

You could look at it a little like hockey. Every game is fresh, right? I mean god knows the US made an entire movie about how every game is a new game and the odds could always fall in your favor no matter how stacked against you. So every drawing i go into it excited - like LOOK at that reference material, its gorgeous. The gesture is beautiful, the post is interesting, there is something about it that is just begging to be drawn. But then say you hit intermission in the hockey game and the opposing team scored a few points. And i step back and look at the drawing and realize i started to go wrong somewhere along the way. But its too late now, you gotta commit and keep going. And you do but somehow the final score is STILL 6 to 0 and thats when i want to flush all my art down the toilet and never look at it again. But its okay because the next drawing is going to start with a blank canvas and who cares what happened last time.

Ok maybe a bad example.

The product is never really what drives me to draw - i mean, sure i do like it a heck of a lot better when i have something /anything/ that i can post to show that im sticking with my everyday doodle. But its not a requirement to doodling. The process of drawing is always fun. Its when i come out of it and look at the stupid thing that im like ‘well fuck i fucked that one up again didnt i’, and THEN i get annoyed lol.

I dont sit there consumed with frustration over ‘gee i dont know what to draw’. This is never an issue. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DRAW. Sometimes i avoid certain gifs/photos because in the back of my mind im like ‘yeah no, i havent leveled up that far yet, i cant do that justice’. But i dont want to admit the sheer number of images of geno alone i have saved. I think my biggest reference folder is still aoki and that has over two thousand screenshots - i dont think anyone will ever surpass that LOL. I have a never ending supply of practice art to be done.

The frustration comes when i have an image in my head and i want to get it down on paper so-to-speak (computer whatever). So - when im NOT using reference (or at least not an exact one) and am making an ‘illustration’ (ish). But again, the process isn't the issue. I like the act of drawing, i like the image in my head slowly taking shape, i like how vividly i can see it. Yall know how obsessed i am with personality - that's not just part of the drawing, that IS the drawing. And each deicision in the illustration is defined by the personality/character.

A computer can't fucking do this.

Could i maybe tell a computer ‘draw geno in the shower’. Sure. And it probably could. And if i didnt care about the process - if all i wanted was a very good drawing of geno in the shower....that probably would be fine. Maybe great even. Maybe it would be the best damn drawing of geno in the shower ever. And then i'd feel like shit because a machine is producing art that is more valuable to other people than mine ever will be. But holy fucking shit that ruins the entire POINT of drawing???? Why would you do that?

I mean, im sure yall can infer the entire point of the act of drawing geno in the shower. He's hot, he's wet. ANYWAY.

In my opinion, a person who wants the end product and doesn't care about the process of getting there....that person is not an artist. That person is someone who enjoys art, and probably thinks they have a lot of good ideas to make into art, but who doesn't feel that pull to make art themselves. They just want to buy art. And they want it cheap. And mindless computers being trained in seconds on the decades of creativity and hard work of art masters is a heck of a lot cheaper than a human.

And the hardest part of all this for me is how worthless this makes me feel - nobody wants you, they want that automatic button. Kinda like my dad that way (haha)

[lemonade-luvr]

I MEAN THATS AS FAR AS I KNOW. to be fair all i’ve heard abt it is You fucking hallucinate shit .thats literally it .

where the fuck did i get the idea you were having hallucinations then......... hmmm. however, i also dont get many hallucinations! at least not visual ones. im much more privy to tactile and auditory stuff!

im gonna infodump. autistic style. and if i accidentally desstroy your worldview, im so sorry. you have been warned.

IT GOT REALLY LONG SORRY FUCKKKKKKKK

schizophrenia is actually very similar to an autism diagnosis! at least from an outside perspective. it comes with flat tone and struggles with facial expressions and all that jazz! it can also make it really hard to think and leads to a very scattered mind??? idk how to describe it . because of the . well we call it brain scramble! i think its called something like word salad though.

the main defining thing about schizophrenia is the presence of psychosis, which is further defined by hallucinations, delusions and paranoia o^_^o

hallucinations CAN include seeing stuff that isnt there, though thats a really simple understanding of visual hallucinations. the visual hallucinations i tend to get are stuff in the corner of my eye and the walls kinda.. Shifting. nothing immediately distressing. but i know there are people with way more scarier things going on.

auditory hallucinations are something i experience a lot more, and theyre just.. hearin stuff that wasnt ever there. my brain loves the discord notification sound and like. splatoon sound effects. sometimes i hear someone yell the body's name!

there are also tactile hallucinations which is feeling a sensation that wasnt real. we get these ones the most. a good example isssss well rn im getting The Bugs. like buddy theres no bugs here you are feeling hair probably and yet even then i still feel it eugh eugh eugh. our headmates can make use of our tactile hallucinations to give me pats on the head though, which is nice o^_^o

delusions are simply believing something that isnt true wholeheartedly. i dont reallly like to share mine because im scared of people playing into them or thinking theyre cringe BUT i will share that we have fully believed ourselves to be in future london before. which is really fucking funny you are allowed to think this is funny. we are in the wrong country for that buddy. you can be fully aware that somethiing isnt true and still believe it! its fucked up! they should make that illegal. these are the mind killer i hate these little bastardsssssss... delusions are very versatile. its also like thinking mundane things are signs.... theres a lot to say on delusions.

paranoia is the one thats really easy to comprehend its just intense and unfounded anxiety. me when i overthink everything to death. me when everyone on the bus knows im gay.

also it makes it really hard to Word Shit. sometimes i cannot comprehend the english language despite it being the only one i fucking know. On that Topic. Sorry if this is Incomprehensible. i actually genuinely Cannot Tell. its usually fine but sometimes i just feel like i cant get ANYTHING across correctly.

impaired motor coordination is also a thing? which makes it hard for me to type sometimes and also do things like, idk, drink my monster energy without spilling it and pissing off charles. sorry charles. damn. UH theres also a lot of repetitive behaviours, and catatonia. it can come with memory issues and FATIGUE BIIIIITCH and BUDDY am i FEELING the fatigue today. AUGH AUGH AUGH.

oki think thats all i have to say on the matter unless u have questions

i feel so fucking nuts right now i dont know if its the rush of i just got to infodump or if im manic :sosonormal: <you are manic <thanks babygirl in my head. god i hope this is comprehensible

ONE TWENTY ONE GUNS 💥

[k0sk1]

i know no one cares but i just HAVE to talk abt this

srsly, the moment i finished reading the god damn post i just KNEW op was a poopshitter. being so honest rn. i hadnt even read the god damn tags or the username but i KNEW they were a poopshitter and projecting. like srsly.

and listen, i dont think ppl shouldnt be allowed to talk abt fucked up stuff, but if ure just using this fucked up stuff as get off material??? girl fuck off?????

and u can call me an anti and a hypocrite and yada yada yada but NO i dont think shipping a child someone 4 times their age or two siblings should be okay bc what??? the fuck?????

and what pisses me off is that ppl arent even normal abt it. like yall dont even pretend yallre sane yall just right porn of children suffering and thats it??? like not even normal abt it its so weird????

and just, i cant, but i find it so funny how op is like "omg those antis are angry but its FICTION and now ppl are disagreeing with me just bc i find it totally normal to see a child and their parent in a romantic and sexual relationship! ugh!"

like yes girl (sorry if ur not a girl tho idk what u are) URE RIGHT!!! PPL WHO FIND ABUSIVE, INCESTUOUS AND PEDOPHILIC RELATIONSHIPS SHOULDNT BE ALLOWED TO SAY WHAT IS AND WHATS NOT ALLOWED IN FICTION!!! U GET OFF TO/ DEFEND PPL WHO GET OFF TO CHILDREN U WEIRD!!!!!

And yes, i AM aware that fictional lolis or smth arent an exact replica of real kids, like no kid has those big ass eyes and head, but i still gotta say that dont u find it weird and dangerous that u see a portrayal of a child, and u decide that the person u wanna ship them with is someone like 30 yrs older than them??? girl are u INSANE

srsly how crazy do u gotta be to paint the ppl who dont wanna interact with someone who THINKS INCESTUOUS AND/OR ABUSIVE AND/OR PEDOPHILIC are okay and are trying to warn other people of it as wrong????

anyways, FUCK POOPSHITTERS YALL ARE WEIRDOS!!!!!! AND DNI FUCK ASSES!!!!

[spacedhead]

homestuck reread #11: act 6 p2

aranea first appearance!!! shes so beautifullll hi girl

okay so i think i misremembered this specific comversation. in a previous conversation with roxy, roxy accidentally IMPLIED that jane might have feelings for him. but then jake was like yeah i already know that she has a thing for me but then since he knows roxy isnt supposed to talk about it he agrees to drop it. then here he is like hey jane do you like me? be honest. just come out and say it. do you? and she is like clearly not ready to be honest yet so shes like uh no i dont

so then hes like oh you dont well thats crazy i thought you did. but then hes like . are you sure? and she is like... haha i guess not... GAHHH THIS IS SO PAINFUL TO READ. but the problem im finding is that i feel like jake is in the wrong here but like i dont know i might do the same thing. if i suspected someone liked me and then got soft confirmation from their best friend i might also approach the situation by asking for confirmation rather than being like I KNOW YOU LIKE ME. but maybe the real thing i would do is wait for them to tell me... i honestly dont know what the right answer is... like what was his best option here because what he did felt so wrong. and jane. poor jane. she is suffering with the weight of liking this FREAK . its just hard cause i wanted her to be honest but i also get why she wasnt

i dont even want to show this next part but jake after this is telling jane about how he thinks dirk wants to date him (which he does) and jane is just. suffering . but she keeps telling him to like go for it? like why are you sabotaging yourself like this?? i get shes trying to be a good friend but like at what cost girl your sanity?? and how is he this socially unaware when he has proven that he can pick up on the hints that jane liked him even BEFORE roxy accidentally implied it?? but now he cant tell that jane is OBVIOUSLY not happy with the situation. i actually cant tell if hes being a cruel person and deliberately ignoring her feelings or if hes just suddenly unable to pick up on her feelings. i GUESS in his defense there has been this ongoing theme of his friends saying that he has a tendency to believe people at face value and believe IN people. get it. because hope. but that is dumb and in my opinion a weak defense

to be fair. he is glasses

what heaven looks like (without the dead cat)

AHHHHH JUMPSCARE

god damn you. tumut

this is really cool

me every time i get mad and my friends call me delusional

this section of dirk giving jake the Lore is cool. look at alpha dave he is so awesome

holy balls look at rose too

HELL YEAH

Sadge

DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT JANE HAS A THING FOR YOU....... WHAT IS HAPPENING

hee hee look at lil seb

this baller ass panel. hes so cool he has a fucking SWORD

look at him go!!!!

AHHH I LOVE THIS PANEL EVERYONE IS SO SILLY!!!!!!

me when im the dumbest boy in paradox space

wait this makes sense to me. the seer of mind can see brain ghost dirk. that is so cool

I AM CRESTFALLEN. (also jane and roxy just died so that is very sad too. but they have dreamselves.) shit is kind of hitting the fan when all the alpha kids are trying to enter. also calliope just got name and appearance revealed so... hey

this is funny

HUHHHHH

ok so i watched s dirk synhcronize. really good flash! some things i noticed. 1. there is that tumblr post that is like dirk just high fives meenah without even knowing who she is or what a troll is. that is wrong he DOES know what a troll is and had already briefly met her like right before the high five happened . 2 its crazy that he has no fear or hesitation when he puts his own head in the transportalizer. like bro really just was willing to kill himself for his friends. i know that he lives bc of his dreamself but still to have ZERO hesitation shows how much he loves them all. 3 in the beginning of homestuck john needed a sledge hammer to open his cruxtruder and throughout the comic most of the characters have needed to drop something heavy on the lid to pop it open but dirk just fucking kicks it open with little effort . actual baller

based hal

this goofy ass scene look at roxys face its so me

fuuuuuck i just watched caliborn enter... lord english destroyed the dream bubble with the john who died and a couple dead daves... (and a bunch of alternate trolls) man i fucking HATE that guy....

shes real or somefin

dude. not cool

i fuckin love his hashtags

LOOK AT THEM

gender envy

im out of image space but ........ to be continued. this is definitely... like... i feel like after cascade the comic came to an abrupt stop. and it is taking a while for things to get going again. maybe once they arrive at the new session

[tactiletelekonesis]

gonna just ramble my thoughts for a bit

i was talking about how ive been asked to be evaluated for bpd in the past and got told by the doctor that i “dont want that stigma” and shut down before i could decide for myself if its worth it, and the person i was telling this to said they think i dont have it and like.

im kind of mad.

because im still getting to know this person and the more i think on it the more i know i at least have things that mimic the symptoms

and being told “i can tell you dont have it” feels like its diminishing the fact that i worry i do

and dont get me wrong i know the symptoms can be caused by other things but i would still like to know

and like the reason im thinking this is just… dirk strider from homestuck. ive been seeing people say hes textbook DID and i GET IT, i do, but i also really see bpd in him more. and i also see myself in him, though i dont have DID

i see his splinters and lil hal specifically as like. i can see how hal would be an alter, but lets not focus on that. hal is the epitome of a version of dirks self that he gets aggravated with, probably even hates because it reminds him of who he used to be, and to some extent whi he currently is.

if you look at the symptoms of bpd on mayo clinic, i could argue for all of them in dirk - and myself

and like. ive fucked up so many relationships because a flip switches in my head and im convinced they hate me or dont care, and people dont see that BECAUSE I FUCKING HIDE IT

I HID MY AUTISM FROM MYSELF AND OTHERS FOR 19 YEARS. MY PSYCHOSIS FOR 27. whos to say i havent been hiding bpd from people?

i already have dependent personality disorder but if you have one personality disorder youre more likely to have more

the reason people dont believe my struggles is i mask automatically and suffer inside because i dont know how to talk about how im suffering or even explain whats a mask and whats not

i keep going back to the time i was told “youre incapable of being mean” and the visceral reaction of wrongness i felt because i shut myself down so fucking much because the idea of upsetting others is so goddamn terrifying yet until i was 19 i would purposely make lists in my head of actual ways to ruin my friendships of i wanted to. like i would make full lists. just cataloguing all their insecurities so i could weaponize them. i never did because when i admitted to doing this when i felt safe i was told that was a dick move. and theyre right but it still fucking hurt because i dont do it on purpose. i dont.

im currently losing two of my best friends because my brain wont let me fucking talk to them because im simultaneously afraid theyre mad, and mad at them myself, and im sabotaging myself by not talking to them at all

i literally swing from thinking im worthless to thinking im a literal celestial being. i dissociate all the god damn time. im so fucking angry every second of my life

i would go into more detail about other symptoms but im making myself sad.

i dont care about the stigma i want validation for these symptoms and acknowledgement that i am extremely mentally ill at times and i just

i know they meant well but being told im not bpd by a newer friend who im still opening up to is frustrating. youre not my doctor, youre not me. how would you know? my doctor doesnt even know all my experiences because i dont know how to talk about them

im not sure if its the 4am talking or the stress from the roommate situation but like im thinking about bpd again. i think its worth looking into

anyway i cant believe im turning into a dirk kinnie but im not complaining

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 of 2x08: ‘why is she acting like this? Is she okay? Oh god, is she sick? What’s wrong deb? Talk to me, redhead! *deb tells vic about ben* please, for the love of everything i own, stop talking. Why are you still talking? I said STOP! Twist your words? Deb, girl..that’s what you said, do you want me to rewind the tapes? AND TO SAY THAT TO VIC?! YOU WISH HE WASNT WHAT NOW? Listen to me Deb, straight still gets hiv. MIKE GET BEHIND ME, I MIGHT HATE YOU BUT I GOT YOU! OH NO HES HEARING HER! WASTING AWAY TO NOTHING? AND SHE SAYS THAT TO VIC OF ALL PEOPLE?! Poor vic. Fought for his life and now his sister says all that?! *pauses the tv and looks at me all scared* just so you know, i would NEVER say something like that to you. I might be an idiot but I’m not *waves his hand at the tv* that dumb…can you get me another soda?’… ‘he’s more sad for vic than himself? Damn, he has his nice moments. Deb, why would he have to tell you about Ben? That is literally none of your business. What’s up with you and Ted? SHE FORBIDS HIM FROM DATING BEN? Man, i hope Ben fucks the shit out of Mike this episode. I’m talking can’t walk for a week type of fuck! Because yall are pissing me off!’ And now the scene with britin is up!!!! ‘Ohhh look at them. Getting busy! Why is Justin talking about Ben? What is going on this episode..Man, ben has to have the craziest hiccups this episode. THATS RIGHT BRI! ITS MIKES DECISION! FINALLY SOMEONE WHO IS SMART! *pauses tv* justin. No. Please never do it raw. You can’t trust anyone THAT much. Cheating exists. And also you and Bri Bri don’t exactly have the most….how shall I put it nicely? Ethical relationship..is that respectful? Idk either way *shakes his head* no blondie! Brian..smack sense into him, don’t encourage him! GOOD BOY! EXACTLY BRIAN! Condoms are your best friend *shakes his pill bottle* next to these lil shits. HE WANTS HIM SAFE! AND HE WANTS HIM AROUND FOR A LONG TIME, YOU MIGHT AS WELL SAY I LOVE YOU! (My name) did you hear that?! He wants him safe! And around! FOR A LONG TIME! That’s like many years! I cannot wait for him to say i love you to Justin! Would be a dope finale. Like *pretends to be brian, ig* “Justin!!! I love you. And i wanna be with you!” Yeah that’s the shit!’ My heart breaks for when he’s gonna see the finale. ‘Brian looks good. Leather jacket, messy hair…i fuck with it. Ohhh i like Brian and this bandana chick! Look at him taking his kid to the park. OH FUCK HER PARENTS *the scene in the park with that random lady comes up* the fuck they do?! I bet Michael just got a boner hearing her say that..Brian..Brian, come on i was rooting for you! Not to be the devil’s advocate but at least his reasoning was nicer in some weird way.’ He just scoffed at the sight of Deb so i’d say he’s doing well ‘Deb..you’ve talked enough. I think you should be quiet for the next 3 episodes..oh vic forgave her way too fast! Couldn’t be me tho’ ‘…no offense but if your parents don’t like you, you really shouldn’t care..but i get it, our greatest fault as human beings is the need we all have to be loved, it’s the only thing we all have in common. *look at me as if he just saw me* ice cream! *goes to get ice cream*’ I honestly wonder how he would watch this if he wasn’t high as a kite. ‘Is justin blowing a strap on?? Go off, i guess! Oh shit oh shit! Oh the dad is having a blast. i am honestly impressed that brian is quiet’ The scene with Ben and Mikey is on and he is not okay ‘NO MIKE NO! I mean do what makes you feel comfortable but NOOO DONT LET THEM GET TO YOU! But also I support your decision but fuck’ this obviously ended with him going for a smoke and is currently outside talking to mom and lying about why he was MIA, he also tried to turn the subject on qaf but failed badly bc his attempt was ‘how would you feel if i had a boyfriend with hiv?’ It was followed by ‘no mom, i im not gay. I’m not. HE IS JUST A FRIEND’ Keep my soul in thoughts and prayers because i am going through it.

AHAHAH YES. Exactly. Deb is such a fucking hypocrite. Ugh she is the worst about Ben’s HIV. And then Michael makes it so fucking awkward when he confronts Debbie IN FRONT OF BEN.

Your brother screaming about a) wearing a condom and b) I WANT YOU SAFE AND I WANT YOU AROUND FOR A LONG TIME is all of us. He is in the fandom. Brian DOES love him.

“our greatest fault as human beings is the need we all have to be loved, it’s the only thing we all have in common” - I know you described him as a himbo but Brother Anon is spitting some serious thoughts here.

Asking your mom how she would react if he had a boyfriend with HIV. I am dyingggggg. I love you brother.

Thoughts & Prayers Anon. You are truly doing the lord’s work.