#dont forget to hug ur friends ladies

[it9chi]

homesick — suna rintarou

there was a faint tapping on his window late at night again, interrupting suna’s late night thoughts of missing his own home back in aichi. suna sighs and walks over to his window to open it a bit to let you in.

this has become a routine for the both of you. he doesn’t even know why you bother to sneak in when you can just walk up to the front desk at a reasonable time like a normal person would. inarizaki isn’t strict with their dorm rules after all.

“you look like shit” was the first thing you said upon entering his dorm room late at night. suna rolls his eyes and closes the window. “hello to you too i guess” he mumbles. suna watches you drop your bag on the unoccupied bed which he assumes is where you’ll be sleeping in for the night

he was actually quite glad he didn’t get a roommate for that specific reason

“what brings you here?” he finally asked, his eyes watching you maneuver your way around HIS dorm room like it was yours. to be quite frank at this point, his dorm was basically your dorm too. 

he recalls every little thing you left in here whenever you decide to crash at his place just like your spare toothbrush in his bathroom, your fluffy slippers hidden in the depths of his closet. god forbid the twins to see that. suna wouldn’t hear the end of it if they ever saw a peek of it.

“i’m always here” you smiled lazily, finally settling in on the spare bed. suna hums and crawls inside his duvet. pulling them just below his nose where half of his face is covered. 

you take a peek at his lying figure. he was staring up at the ceiling silently for once in his life. usually, he’d be yapping about how the twins annoyed the shit out of him that day or how the cafeteria sucks ass but tonight, he was quiet.

obviously it bothered you quite a bit. he was your friend after all. 

“you okay?” you asked. breaking the quiet tension in the room. it took awhile for suna to respond. “... i guess” he answered quietly. you sit up and watched him on the other side silently. 

you observed how his breathing was shallow almost as if he’s calming himself down like he’s about to cry. you opted on just keeping him company without saying anything. one of the very few activities you two do together. 

not like he’d admit it out loud but he does like having you around. you don’t suck the energy out of him unlike the twins who basically drain him for no apparent reason.

but that goes out the window when you hear quiet sniffles on his side of the room. you jump out of bed and cautiously approached him. “rin?” you call. suna clears his throat and mutters a quick “what do you want”

“are you really okay?” you asked the question once more. there’s no point of lying to you now. suna was always there for you when you need someone to talk to and now here you were returning the favor.

“.. not really” he confessed. sitting up so he could look at you with puffy eyes. it was rare for him to open up his emotions to someone. he thinks you might be the second person who has seen him this vulnerable. the other being osamu.

you sat on his bed and watched him closely. your heart aches at the sight of him like this. he was usually the snarky and ‘i don’t give a fuck’ type of person but everyone has their limits.

after a few minutes of silence, suna speaks up. “i guess i’m homesick” he opens up, scratching his ear as a nervous habit. “i-i don’t know.. i just suddenly miss home and everything. things have been pretty hectic during practices too and the work load of inarizaki jesus fucking christ” suna rambles, brows furrowing in annoyance just thinking about everything

you don’t say anything as you let him continue rant about his own misfortunes for the past few weeks. it’s all you could offer. by the time he finishes, he was panting. his shoulders tense as ever and it looks like he won’t be sleeping anytime soon.

suna’s eyes snap open when you wrap your arms around him. he barely noticed you creeping closer when he was going off about everything. hesitantly, he hugs back. his long limbs circling around your small frame. 

suna catches a whiff of your hair that smelled faintly like mint. slowly, he feels the weight on his shoulders slowly lift just by a simple gesture from you. his mind goes blank the longer you hug him. 

you were warm. the exact opposite of him who’s cold. you feel like home to suna. maybe that’s why he liked being around you so much. maybe that’s why he lets you stay over at his dorm room at any given time. maybe you bring a sense of home that he misses so much.

you are suna’s home and tonight is the night he realizes that. 

[decompose1]

for the ask thing what are ur thoughts on oj? if you dont want to do oj then your favorite s2 character maybe?

NO I LOVE OJ OFC I CAN DO HIM!!

Sexuality Headcanon: I see him as gay! I just don't really see him being into ladies, to be honest, and i like working this into the way he interacts with Salt (but... not in a bad way! More in a "they need to have a frank discussion about things, and this also helps her understand herself better in the process" way. Maybe they could go forward more healthily as friends after that. Might write something about that, sometime.)

Gender Headcanon: I'll be honest, i see him as a cis man, HOWEVER, i think he wouldn't shy away from experimenting a little with his identity and presentation. I think he'd happily let himself be dressed up a little. Hit him with your best shot. He's perfectly secure in that regard.

Ships: I like PayJay very much, and i honestly do sometimes forget they aren't canonically together. I just think the dynamic is extremely sweet, and i was really happy with how understanding he was with Paper in S1. I think they work very well as a strong, healthy couple! I also like MePhOJ and KniPhOJ (knife/mp4/oj) a fair bit. Not my main things, but things i'll happily look at :o).

BROTP: PAINTBRUSH!! I don't think their friendship gets expanded on enough. I like to think he was likely one of the first they came out to after Lightbulb. I think they're like a dumb pair of catty besties sometimes. I also love the idea of him repairing his relationships with Bomb and Salt, and being better friends with those two. PICKLE AS WELL. I think they're really good pals. I like OJ being friends with a lot of characters!!

NOTP: Salt. Sorry, i just can't ever see that ship working. He isn't comfortable with her advances, and i definitely see them more like mlm/wlw silidarity (after she comes to some.... personal conclusions.)

Random headcanon: I think he's REALLY frighteningly good at puzzle games. He plays them to unwind after hotel chores, and everyone questions how they don't just frustrate him. He says he just shuts his brain off and does them, but he's doing, like, advanced levels of whatever he's playing.

General opinion: I like him a lot. He was a good S1 winner, because the hotel was such an important piece of ii and provided a lot of characters somewhere to stay, and i'm not sure how many of the others would've been so generous. I clown on him sometimes for being kind of an ass, and having DREADFUL interior decorating skills, and i think both of these things are still totally true, but at the end of the day, i think he's just some guy who's genuinely trying his best for his friends. I bet he'd give a good hug and some very solid advice if you were upset.

[jaehyunsuh]

hii ! i was wondering if i could get a ship for each unit (i love ur work btw 🥺)

i am an esfp-t (entertainer) and an achiever (sorry i forgot what number it was 😭) on the enneagram test

i am of chinese ethnicity and i have long dark brown hair with blond peekaboo highlights :) my height is 167cm and i weigh 47kg

i have quite a resting bitch face so almost all of my friends and mutuals said they were rlly intimidated by me at first but when i warmed up to them they realised that im the kinda random and spontaneous one in the group (like i kinda do weird things sometimes hehe and im pretty loud at times) also tbh i dont like authority and i dont particularly like to follow rules (im the kid who never listens in class oop)

i have a tiger mother ☹️ shes kinda like one of those rich asian ladies who believe anything they say/believe overrides the beliefs of others and the type that likes to use her children to her benefit (sorry i may sound conceited and ungrateful but my mother is not a really kind person) she puts studies before health and likes to overwork people and i think that growing up in this toxic environment has led me to dislike authority so much and not be willing to go down the career path she has chosen for me (aka medicine)

i think im pretty emotional at times for situations that others might not find worth thinking too much about (basically just a mass overthinker 😔🤚🏻) and this is just a weird fact but i dont think i ever rlly cry when im sad like i cry 99% of the time because im angry or frustrated or indignant about something. maybe sadness was the initial emotion but it always develops into one of the mentioned emotions before the tears come yay

also i LOVE pda and skinship in general :) this might sound weird but hickeys are so cute to me idk why hhhhh and i like to be the small spoon when cuddling ☺️ (yes i like taller guys but the members you decide dont have to be the tallest :))

another thing is that im a dancer ! ive been dancing for 12 years now and i really really love using my body to express myself :) when i was rlly young i started with ballet to get my foundations right and then i progressed to jazz (because ballet was too much effort ���) and then later contemporary/lyrical and now i kinda stick to urban/kpop style 👍🏻

also this is irrelevant but yg is having global auditions soon in the city i live in so yeah i rlly hope i have a bit of luck because being able to dance and sing has been my DREAM since i was a kid 🥺

anyways i hope i didnt give toooo much unnecessary info and thank you so much ily 🤍🤍

hey! I wish you all the best, from the bottom of my heart I hope that you really go to the yg audition and you do well💕 good luck! I hope i’m writing this for a future idol, pls don’t forget me when you are famous lol

top 3

haechan

let’s start with the fact that would loooove that you are so spontaneous, I think we all can tell that haechan is a free spirit and that he constantly wants to do stuff, have fun and live life. He would support you in any of the random stuff that you want to do, and he would follow you in any impulsive plan that you have out of nowhere. He would just feel so excited about it and he would be so comfortable too. I think he also doesn’t listen to other easily and always wants to do what he wants, so I think that would make you to understand each other really well. He is a rebel to, he definitely is, so he would be really attracted to that part of you. He would see the whole situation with your family and your career and all of that, he would be super supportive, he would tell you to follow your dreams, do what you love and what you that’s the best for you. I mean it, he would be super intese and he would really want you to do what you really like, he would probably even talk to your mom about it lol. He would just care a lot about your well being. Since you are a dancer and love dancing he would encourage you to join an academy, a company, go to an audition, because he knows it would make you happy. When you cry a lot and start being really emotional he would be there for you, get you back to your senses and let you know that everything is gonna be okay. He loves skinship a lot so he would always be all over you, kissing and hugging you the whole day!!

jeno

I just think Jeno would be such a good boyfriend to anyone and he would know how to adapt to a lot personalities. He is really chill and he likes calm, but someone as spontaneous as you would just make his life more exciting and he would have a lot of fun being around you and trying to take care of you while you are doing random stuff. When you don’t listen to others and just do what you want he would laugh a lot because he loves that you are like that. He loves that you are so determined and that in important situations you go with your decision, he would admire that a lot. When you are being to rebellious he would try his best to make you cool down a little bit and relax, he doesn’t want you to go all crazy lol. He would take care of you a lot, always wanting to know how you are feeling, what you are doing and just everything that has to do with you in general. He would want you to purchase dancing since you really love it a lot, he would have deep conversations about this. He would like to do some dances with you and that would be the coolest thing ever. When you start to be really emotional about something he would worry a lot and he would always be there for you so you have someone to rely on. I feel that he wouldn’t really be into pda but he likes having skinship with you, always hugging you and giving you the softest kisses.

johnny

Johnny is such a fun and cool guy to be around. His personality woud go really good with yours, he likes to have fun so he would always want to spend time with you, so like that we would enjoy all of the random stuff and the random plans that you figure out. He would always make you company, he wants to take care of you and be there for you for anything that you need. I think he really expresses his opinions, but he still considers that you are a little bit more rebellious than him, he would fins it really attractive and bold from you, but he would also tell you when you need to step down a little. He would always want the best for you, so when it comes to you carrer choice he would want you to do what you really like, he would be really worried if you feel upset by doing other thing. Tbh, I also feel like he would try his best to even talk to your mom about it. When you are being emotional he would try to make you laugh and forget a little bit about the situation. He would like to have you wrapped around his arms and kiss forever.

[mytholora]

do you hear my heart beating

Fandom: Mamamoo

Rated: T

Pairings: Moonsun

Characters: Solar, Moonbyul, Wheein, Hwasa

Summary: Yongsun knows she’s an idiot but she’d thought herself to be an idiot with good ideas.

Yongsun knows she’s an idiot but she’d thought herself to be an idiot with good ideas.

They’re in a seedy club at some inhumane hour of the morning. Byulyi has somehow managed to convince her to go even though she’s got a paper due tomorrow and hasn’t washed her hair in 3 days.

“ISN’T THIS AMAZING?” Byulyi yells over the crowd of people wildly bumping their bodies into each other and the blaring music. It’s humid. Yongsun’s sure she’s stepped on something gross. At least 2 people have tried grinding on her, she doesn’t know. What she does know is that Byulyi’s holding her hand tight and she’s about to spontaneously combust.

“It’s really loud in here!”

“WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?” Byul makes a pained face at her, stretching back to hear her better.

“WHAT Oh—never mind.” Yongsun sighs, realising that no matter how loud she shouts, Byulyi can’t hear her over the loud music. How is she supposed to flirt with Byulyi if they can’t even hear each other? Another body falls on her and Yongsun is this close to biting someone’s ear off. She grunts under the weight of a clearly inebriated body and struggles to push him back on his feet. Of course this fucking caveman has to fall on me, of all the people in this hellcave.

Suddenly, Byulyi appears in front of her and pushes the man off her.

“Hey, watch where you’re falling, asshole!” Byulyi snarls, anger flaring in her eyes, arms holding Yongsun closely, tightly, and Yongsun feels her face heat up as she presses herself closer to Byulyi’s frame.

“Thanks, bodyguard,” Yongsun breathes out.

“WHAT?”

“I said thanks!”

“WHAT?”

“Forget it!”

“...WHAT?”

“LET’S JUST GO!”

“I can’t hear you, let’s just go!” Byulyi pulls her arm to signal her to start moving and they start wading through the swamp of people once more. A light bulb flickers to life above Yongsun’s head instantly. They can barely hear themselves in the noise, much less each other. It’s an opportunity falling on her lap and Yongsun’s damned if she won’t take it.

She clears her throat. “Your hands really turn me on.”

Byulyi doesn’t even turn around to look at her, just keeps pushing forward through the crowd. Yongsun bites back laughter and squeezes Byulyi’s hand. She turns around at that, tilting her head in slight confusion, face sporting a grin. Yongsun shakes her head and they continue moving as glee at the prospect of what she can do in her current situation fills her up.

Walking deeper in still, the club gets louder and darker even though Yongsun didn’t think it was possible mere minutes ago.

“Hey, hot ass lady holding my hand,” Yongsun tries. “Could we go get some drinks before hitting the dance floor?” No reaction.

“You sexy beast. Hold me tight. Grab my tiddies and drag me into a kiss.”

Nothing. If Byulyi can hear her, she doesn’t show any indication that she does.

It’s even better than I thought, Yongsun thinks incredulously. She gives a tug to the hand that’s holding hers.

“Can we get a drink first?” She asks in her normal voice, not even trying to compete against the noise. Byulyi frowns and leans closer, lips forming a ‘what’. Yongsun smiles and gestures towards what distinctly looks like a bar and tilts her head back to mimic the act of drinking. Byulyi perks up, nods, and they head off to a new destination.

It’s a little quieter at the bar, the air still shaking with heavy bass, but Yongsun can actually hear her own thoughts now. A familiar beautiful woman with a smouldering gaze is already waiting for them at the bar, an eyebrow raised, and Yongsun fights back a blush when the woman glances between Byulyi and herself as they walk towards her.

“Surprise!” Byulyi yells and almost leaps across the counter to wrap the woman in a hug.

“How did you manage to find me? I barely started working, like, two days ago!” Hyejin laughs, arms going around to return the hug before pulling Yongsun into another smothering one.

“I have my sources!” Byulyi says and Hyejin rolls her eyes.

“Wheein! Of course.”

“Where is she anyway? She owes me 15 bucks!” Hyejin motions to somewhere behind her and not even a moment later, a young dimpled girl appears beside Hyejin and squeals, dragging all four of them into a group huddle.

“HELL YEAH! The gang’s back together for a night of booze and bad decisions!” She jumps around excitedly and Yongsun feels her heart melt at the sight. She glances at Hyejin and Byulyi and she’s sure she’s not the only one. They are all soft for Wheein and her bubbly energy.

“Making bad decisions won’t be a problem with how fucking LOUD this place is! Are the speakers busted or something?” Yongsun winces as the music somehow gets louder than before, a remix of some top 10 EDM song reverberating in her skull.

“We don’t really know why but the other bartenders tell us it’s the DJ! He always plays the music this loud just cuz it ‘sets him in the mood’!” Wheein explains and Byulyi rolls her eyes.

“What an asshole.”

“Right?! Most of the DJs we’ve met here are really nice but he’s the only one that’s a big meanie! Just earlier tonight he…” Wheein launches into a story and Byulyi listens attentively, straining her neck forward to pick up on Wheein’s excited chatter. Hyejin quickly fills up two mugs with some cheap beer for them and is off to respond to a customer calling for her. Byulyi sends a wink her way as thanks before focusing her attention back onto Wheein and her flailing arms.

Yongsun adores that part of Byulyi that is so attentive and pays attention to details. The one that tries her best to be inclusive. The one with so much kindness and care in her heart. It was a quality that attracted so many of her friends to her and helped her to easily make more.

“I love you so much,” Yongsun stares at Byulyi and the words slip out before she can stop it. A spike of anxiety stabs her before realising that it is too loud for anyone to pick up what she’s saying. “That jacket looks great around you but you know what would look better? Me.”

Byulyi doesn't react. She’s still listening attentively to Wheein’s enthusiastic storytelling. It’s a chance she can’t miss.

“You funky lesbian, why the fuck are you so perfect, huh? Wanna fight? Wanna sit on my face? I dare you. I’m so in love with you. I’m not even joking. I would lay my life down for you like a knight for her queen, except like, I don’t wanna die, so maybe not. I’d fight a man for you, though. I’d choke all the men in the world for you. Fuck, you look so good. Marry me.”

Yongsun is on a roll, spitting out cheesy compliments and flirty pick-up lines. She says it to no-one in particular, keeping her eyes on the hyper duo next to her as she nurses her drink in one hand.

That is, until she realises her phone has been incessantly buzzing in her pocket. It’s enough to get her to take it out and look through her notifications.

Hyegi: oi

Hyegi: im on the other side

Hyegi: bitch dont ignore me look here

Hyegi: are u talking to yourself or smth wat the fuck

Hyegi: who you talking to

Hyegi: oh my god

Hyegi: SKJSHDSJFH

Hyegi: omg u hopeless gay

Hyegi: sit on your face???

Hyegi: yong pls

Hyegi: pls do not start fighting here i dont wanna be fired

Hyegi: im begging you pls stop

Hyegi: o fuk that’s so NSFW im gagging

Hyegi: bicth

Hyegi: thicc byulssy???? UVE GONE TOO FAR

Hyegi: HELLO!! LOOK HERE ASSHOLE!!!

Yongsun is absolutely mortified. Her eyes quickly dart to where Hyejin is leaning against the counter a few metres away, smoothly typing away on her phone, as if she didn’t just ruin Yongsun’s entire night in a few texts. Hyejin glances up to look at her and smirks. Yongsun's fight or flight response is fully activated and screaming at her to somehow knock Hyejin unconscious and make her lose all memory of tonight.

Yong: FUCK

Yong: dkjfhsljdfh

Yong: what the fuck

Hyegi: calm down

Yong: im gonna fukcking

Yong: what the FUCK

Hyegi: CHILL i wont tell

Yong: i will die on the spot if you do

Hyegi: please dont

Yong: DIE you hear me

Hyegi: I WONT I SWEAR

Yong: this whole time

Yong: how

Yong: did you bug me with a mic

Hyegi: what?? no i can lip read

Yong: how? since when??? what the fuck

Hyegi: took a course back in college

Yong: why

Hyegi: i wanted to be a spy

Yong: uh

Yong: ok

Yong: anyway pls dont spill

Hyegi: chillax i wont. I got u babe

Yong: thanks ily

Hyegi: ily too

Hyegi: also u are one giant horndog u know that?? fuckin intense!!

Yong: and what about it? she’s hot. im hot. we’re perfect for each other

Hyegi: LMAO right so why u seducing thin air

Yong: im just

Yong: building up my offense u know

Yong: training to fight fire with fire

Hyegi: by talking to the air

Yong: im TRAINING u fool

Yong: im like zuko and she’s azula because im gonna take her down

Yong: except we’re not siblings and i wanna date her

Hyegi: fuck u dont ruin that show for me

Yong: im not supporting incense im just saying they were both hot

Hyegi: incense im its incest u illiterate

Hyegi: ok look if i give u another drink on the house will u PLEASE shut the fuck up

Yong: a nicer one please

Yong: thanks

Yong: also zutara should have been endgame

Hyegi: dont test me because i will throw this drink in ur face

Yongsun laughs and looks up only to see Wheein gone and Byulyi staring at her and smiling. She feels her heart jump out her chest and tries to not let it show. She raises an eyebrow and Byulyi shakes her head and takes another swig of her now finished beer. Hyejin walks up to them with Yongsun’s drink on the house.

“Hey, how come she gets another one?!” Byulyi pouts, shifting closer to Yongsun and her new drink.

“What can I say? I’m a natural charmer!” Yongsun shrugs, a teasing lilt in her voice, which makes Byulyi pout even more. Hyejin rolls her eyes and walks away. Yongsun realises that it’s just her and Byulyi now. She clears her throat uncomfortably, unprepared to face Byulyi one-on-one, despite all the ‘training’ she’s undergone.

“Holy shit, I love this song! For a shitty DJ, he’s got pretty good taste in music!” Byulyi perks up. She gets off her chair and sways to the song now playing through the speakers. Yongsun watches awkwardly as Byulyi dances without a care in front of her.

She thinks she’s disassociating. In another dimension.

Byulyi? Sexy dancing in front of her as she sits and watches? Not even trying to escape? Absolutely unheard of.

She’d already be running for the hills on a normal day.

I’m too fucking gay for this shit. Is this happening? Is this really happening? What the fuck.

Yongsun doesn’t budge an inch on her seat, doesn’t even grab her drink. Her eyes watch Byulyi intensely, expression unchanging as the younger girl dances without a care in the world, unaware of the quickly deteriorating mess that is Yongsun’s sanity. Byulyi’s eyes lock with hers and she feels something important escape her body.

Her phone buzzes again and again and Yongsun forces herself to tear her eyes away from the spectacle that is Byulyi and respond to it.

Hyegi: u lesbian

Hyegi: SHUT UP ur sex eyes are so obvious

Hyegi: U look like u are one blink away from pushing her down!! Fuck

Hyegi: i cant deal with this

Hyegi: remember to use protection xoxo hwasa

Yongsun rolls her eyes. Her phone buzzes again. What now?

---

Wheenie: byul-unnie

Wheeinie: i got him to play the song u wanted

Wheeinie: r u sure dis will work

Wheeinie: make sure u do wat we discussed

Wheeinie: unnie u luk v intense

Wheeinie: ya work those sexy moves

Wheein: sway ur hips more!! bat ur eyes!!

Wheeinie: she looks turned on as fUK keep doing it

Wheeinie: lmao she’s looking here?? move closer

Wheeinie: get more in her face!! blast ur hormones! show her ur willing and ready!!!

Wheeinie: wait

Wheeinie: OH FUCK

from this shitpost of mine

after more than a year here i am...... my measly attempt at comedy..

comments r appreciated and criticism even more so because i get turned on by both

[supershance-blog]

Shiro trying to make Lance dinner?

Shiro is not good at cooking. His experience in the kitchen are limited to boxed mac n cheese and campbells soup heated up in a pot. So to say Shiro doesn’t know why he offered to cook for Lance on their date would be an understatement.

Fuck. Fuck! What am I gonna do? Shiro panics in his head. 

There’s only two hours for him to get his shit together and cook something for his hopefully soon to be boyfriend. No matter how many times Shiro has looked up recipes, nothing ever seems to come out right. It doesn’t taste right or he leaves it on the burner a bit too long. He does the only thing he can think of.

He texts Keith.

Shiro: KEITH PLEASE HELP I TOLD LANCE ID COOK FOR OUR DATE BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO COOK AND EVERYTHINGS COMING OUT NASTY

Keith: uhhhh y did u say u would cook if u cant?

Shiro: SHUT I PANICKED

Keith: of course smh did u even think to cook something easy? like spaghetti?

Shiro: THATS EASY????

Keith: literally a 5 yr old could make some fucking spaghetti

Shiro: OK WELL IM NOT A 5 YR OLD I CANT MAKE SPAGHETTI HOW DO I MAKE IT

Keith: just know that i sighed rly loudly rn ur fucking ridiculous anyways boil the noodles there should be instructions on the box for that tho idk y the fuck u would need instructions for that

Shiro: JUST CONTINUE

Keith: get some ground beef and cook it and then add spaghetti sauce when its done its literally not hard and takes like 30 min tops

Shiro: LIFESAVER THANK U LEGEND

Keith: if u just watch closely u shouldnt burn anything good luck shiro go get that nonexistent ass i guess

Shiro: SHUT UP his ass is nice

Keith: bye shiro

As he walks over to the fridge to get the meat, he realizes he doesn’t have noodles or spaghetti sauce. He mentally curses and grabs his wallet to run to the store at the corner of his block.

Dread sets in as Shiro looks at the clock. There is only 15 minutes left before Lance is supposed to be at his apartment for their date and Shiro hasn’t even started any part of the dinner he promised to make. 

He’s barely out of the store and on his way home this late because on the short walk from his apartment to the store, he saw an old lady get her purse snatched, so of course he had to chase down the criminal and then proceed to call the police after he caught the man. How was he supposed to know they would also bring Shiro in to make a statement that would take nearly two hours to make?

Point being, he was screwed.

“Shiro?” says a voice from behind him, a voice he would recognize anywhere.

Said man freezes and turns slowly to see a confused looking Lance.

“Did you forget something?” asks the shorter man, gesturing to the shopping bag in Shiro’s hand.

“Actually, it’s a little bit of a long story…can I tell you inside.” replies Shiro, sounding defeated.

“Of course!” says Lance following Shiro to his apartment as the latter looks at him in awe.

“YOU CAUGHT A FUCKING BURGLAR SHIRO WHAT THE HELL? ARE YOU OKAY?” says Lance, approaching the other man and running his hands over the taller’s arms to check for injuries.

At Lance’s touch, Shiro startles and then blushes darkly, feeling the grip on his bicep.

“I’m fine, Lance. I…thought you wouldn’t want to date me anymore because I didn’t keep my promise about the dinner…I don’t know I-I just…I’m glad you’re still here right now.” says Shiro, looking down.

“Shiro…fuck the damn dinner. I’m so glad you’re okay. And you should be proud! You saved a little defenseless old lady! I bet there was other people around that didn’t do shit! You’re…incredible.” retorts Lance, hugging his date tight.

“Besides, now we can make dinner together, and that’s way more fun than you burning whatever it is that you were supposed to make.”

“HOW DID YOU KNOW?”

“Shiro, me and Keith have been friends for like, a whole year. You think he hasn’t told me about how bad his best friend is at cooking?”

“Damn you, Keith.” mutters Shiro.

Lance, smiling coyly and moving to the kitchen, says, “I think it’s cute. And that just means I get to teach you how to cook. I’m no Hunk, but I know my way around a kitchen. So move your cute butt on over to the fridge and get the meat.”

Gaping at Lance and following him like a lovesick puppy, Shiro quietly questions, “Cute butt? My butt is cute?”

“Damn right it is! Now get over here and help me, master chef.”

The rest of the evening was filled with Lance basically making the whole dinner with some embarrassing blunders from Shiro that Lance would claim as cute, and honestly? Shiro wouldn’t have it any other way.

[moldypieceoflasagna]

36 questions that nobody asked me

(except @lollipoppedchainsaw )

(the 36 questions that lead to love or whatever) https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

I hate going out to dinner so much i probably wouldnt be able to enjoy it properly

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

It would be interesting to see what it’s like for a short period of time, but i’d never be able to keep it up; i’d probably have an identity crisis

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

yes i have to mentally prepare myself 100% of the time

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

hanging out with the people i love is enough to keep me happy for a good while tbh. sitting around doing nothing literally nothing with them is endlessly entertaining to me even though sometimes i might make that hard to believe 

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

i sing to myself a lot, not so much to others- although i AM a slut for karaoke

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

body because i feel thats probably what old people complain about most. plus like,, 90 years of life knowledge? sounds great to me

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

probably an accident that’s almost statistically impossible

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

single rn (ladies) but i usually try to find friends with similar music tastes because scream-singing in the car is the most fun one can have

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

im most grateful for my dogs and for my friends! i love them and it means the world to me to have people that i can call family. also i would die without my dog juno, she is my rock (and my therapist)

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Not rly how i was raised, but i wish i had a closer relationship with my older siblings. Three of them had moved out before i was rly old enough to not be an asshole child, so most of them still see me as an asshole child and they never take me seriously. im glad i have an alright relationship with them, but that’s kinda all it is and i know i could do better

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

Lived in Texas my whole life yeehaw. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters; 2 of them dont like me, and my relationship with the other 2 is,, certainly not bad. Had a lot of physical and mental illness in the past, but 20gayteen is definitely my year, yeet

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

either speaking a different language or playing the piano. im very jealous of good piano players, and at some point i need to be able to speak a more useful language than french because so far in texas it’s proved absolutely useless (other than talking to my mom but that doesnt count)

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

I’d wanna know wtf im supposed to do with my life because sweaty i still have no idea. passion? dont know her please introduce me

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

i wanna go skydiving bitch, no one wants to go with me! pussies!!! the lot of you

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

that one time i did an entire semester’s worth of work in the last three days of the school year

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

being able to put up with my huge fucking mouth. also honesty is super important, even if it’ll make me feel shitty

17. What is your most treasured memory?

when i went camping with a bunch of friends and they were bitter i got to be in the middle of the tent because they were all cold. either that or the time i was getting really bad sleep paralysis and @lonelywaterfall & @skity stayed over so my paranoia didnt render me completely useless,,, also the paramore concert lol ive never been more vulnerable in my life.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

coming out to my mom haha

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

i’d go on a trip around the world to explore/to see a few people, and i’d put extra effort into my gender expression

20. What does friendship mean to you?

comfortable silence is my kink. also emotional vulnerability and SAD BOY HOURS we cant forget those

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

I’m such a slut for physical affection yall have no idea please hug me as much as possible and play with my hair or my hands

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

i guess ill do the same with previous partners so.. i think being funny is probably the #1 thing i appreciate in someone. when you make me laugh so hard i cry, just know that’s like. peak. also stubbornness is strangely attractive to me, plus like,,, uh having an unexpected soft side? an appreciation of art is super important, too. also SPOON VERSATILITY.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

it was probably happier than a lot of people’s but there wasnt much to it. plus being the youngest in my ENTIRE family really sucked during my childhood because everyone picked on me and i think that’s probably what started a lot of my issues lol

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

better than it could be, but definitely not what i want it to be. we both love each other and i admire her work ethic, but she gave me a lot of anxiety problems (both genetically and not) and she isnt the most understanding person. i have hope though, people change

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …

I’m hungry and sitting alone in front of my computer feeling like OVERSHARING ON THIS BEAUTIFUL THURSDAY MORNING, BOYS

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …

many, MANY animals and a lighthouse in the middle of nowhere

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

I’m REALLY insecure about my body xd

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

LOVE feeling safe. 

29. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.

probably every time that i’ve ever worn a dress, because i really,, really dont like wearing dresses and that’s it

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

last cried by myself this morning and last cried in front of another person at my friend’s birthday party

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

no partner but if youre reading this im rly proud of ur attention span. gj buddy

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

i think most things can be joked about after a certain amount of time, but like,, it has to actually be funny and it has to come from someone i know isnt serious about it. if a joke is made just for the purpose of being offensive and edgy, it’s never funny no tea just truth. 

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

i’d regret not spending enough time with people that i love, not traveling as much as i should have, and also i’d regret not formally coming out of the closet to my family (they probably already been done knew but like. yknow). i came out to myself & the people closest to me a LONG ass time ago, but i’ve kinda seen what it did to my immediate family so im not too excited to do that to my extended family. if i’m not too much of a pussy, ill probably do it in the summer when i see them next, bc ive been meaning to for a while.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

is it bad of me to say my computer? i feel like everyone else has a much more meaningful answer lol. it would probably either be that or the papers i keep on my bulletin board, bc most of them hold a lot of sentimental value (also my prescriptions  would be a pain to get copies of)

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

either of my parents because i dont want them dying before i reach the point where i can expect them to be happy for me when i marry a girl

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

personal problems? what’re those lmfao dont have any srry try me again later

 i’m too much of a pussy to tag certain people so if you see this and I've had any sort of conversation with you, do it coward

(also @skity  @drawinintherain )

[wereg0blin]

for the ask meme? all of them u thot

For ur and Cris' demand1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?Yes!!!!! 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?UhHHHHHH it is 3 years older than me but hhhhhhh probably not3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?Bicth ten mins ago4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?ALWAYS5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?If there are they can go fuck themselves right in the butthole6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?CHOKE-I dont know how but they found me - mr seen aka my eX hHHhH7. What exactly are you wearing right now?a cute ass blouse thingy some tights and christmas deer antlers on top of a Santa hat8. How often do you listen to music?every chance i get9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?jeans i guess10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?i dont even remember 201311. Are you a social or an antisocial person?both damn12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?On the cheek yes13. What about ‘R’?platonically yes14. Can you drive a stick shift?i can climb sticks???? does that count??? 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?they 100% do and i dont really care bc everyone talks shit about everyone 16. Are you going out of town soon?i dont know how to reply to this because i live in two towns17. When was the last time you cried?Wednesday i think,, i wish i could cry more often 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?i try to say it as much as i can bc i have a lot of love in my heart19. If you could change your eye color, would you?maybe a lighter blue bc gray blue isn't that pretty20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?not counting evan,,, uhh Boys ARE A BLESSING TO THIS WORLD FUXK YEAH21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.am planning to tell mh parents abt my depression but hHHHHH22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?if it has boy in it iT CUTE23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?NopE cris is like,,,, my best friend wtf24. What are you sitting on right now?b e d i t s o f t25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?FRIENS. LOVE THEM. 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?ALL THW TIME B I TCH27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?my roommates 28. Do you get a lot of colds?nop, but when i do its fuxked up29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?Switzerland 30. Does anyone hate you?yepity depity do and i hope they burn in hell fucking pieces of shits31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?it will be a cold day in hell when i drink my dudes32. Do you like watching scary movies?BITCH I L OV E MAKING FUN OF MOVIESSO SEEING SHITTY SCARY MOVIES IS A FUCKING BLESSING 33. Do you want your tongue pierced?Nah how tf am i gonna eat spicy shit then???? ¿¿¿¿34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?2015????or 2016??? i think that was the worst my depression ever was35. Did you have a dream last night?i think????? 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?right now37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?hope not???? but then again???? kinda hope i do????? probably not doe38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?yes i know at least 2 boys and i feel so sorry for them39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?probs40. Did you have a good day yesterday?mmmeh41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?oh shit i have no Fucking idea 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?y e s43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?i think???? cris must've told me at least one time and evan too so Uhhhh i guess???? ¿¿¿¿44. What’s the best part about school?i get to have unnecessary crushes45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?ppppplenty46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?yeah but he called me a slut and a whore 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?god fucking hell all the time 48. Were you single over the last summer?yep49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?nope thank the whatever the fuck is out there 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?sleeping i guess51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?evan is a precious cinnamon roll fuck off 52. Are you nice to everyone?YES YES YES YES ALWAYS as i saidk i l l t h e m w i t h k i n d n e s s53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?h hh hhh fuCking tAke a wIld Gue Ss m854. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?bitch when i cheat will be the day i cut my throat 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?bad feelings? yescrushes? n0Pe56. Do you think you like someone?i think but i hope not57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?nop i do not Think so my dude 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?why THE FUCK would that matter59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?current ones?? i dont think so??? 60. Do you hate anyone?nah i just,,,, strongly dislike themexcept the fucking bitches i called friends i hopr they die in a fire 61. How’s your heart?idk i guess ok??? im always okay62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?not really pffft63. Have you ever cried over a guy?yes all the time,, boys r beautiful 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?hmmmmmmmmm idk i can think of a few people but i hope not 65. Are your toenails painted pink?I W I S H66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?bih i wish i could have my first kiss67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?if boyfriend cries i cry thats bad 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?poor poor souls that actually had this happen to them69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?my sister!!! 70. How do you look right now?bored Even doe im honestly just relaxed 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?i do that with everyone bc if u don't like me u don't have tk be around me 72. Can you commit to one person?yes ofc!!!??? 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?even bby ilu74. Have you ever felt replaced?i think?? yes probs75. Did you wake up cranky?nop76. Are you a jealous person?hhhhHA YOU DONT EVEN K N O W77. Are relationships ever worth it?Theyre fun but the end of them makes me wanna die78. Anyone you’re giving up on?crushes and teachers 79. Currently wanting to see anyone?3 more years bih u better wait for meand u too eben b safe u dork80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?sssstudy h81. Last person you cried in front of?mom82. Is there someone you will never forget?yyyES83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?nope he doesn't really care about me anymore (although i dont think he ever did) 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?BICTH ID BE KISSING THAY THOT ALL OVER HER FACE AND WATCHING SAW AND VORING PIZZAEVEN DUDE HHHHELTS WATCH SAW 3 AND LAUGH AT THAT DUDE BREAKING HIS LEG AND THWN I CAN HUG YOU TILL I DIE FROM DEHYDRATION 85. Are you over your past?i ggggUess??? 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?i have no idea 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? @lady-misfortune @space-ace-sneevee @thelilshadowchild88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?what has been has been but i guess idk yet bc ive had like 1 bf for now 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?never kissed 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?i guess???????? 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?i sure as hell have no idea92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?Michael Jackson and I are best buddies bItch93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?noPe94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?i was in a relationship with my laptop and i didnt leave him from 7pm to 6am 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?he a dicky 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?bicth fucjing prettiest people youll find97. Who do you have texts from?crissy gorl that im too lazy to reply to98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?happened to me and i said "glad u told me earlier i dont want u being with me if u r uncomfy" it did hurt like a fucking bitch doe99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?bitch never kissed 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?me, myself and i101. Ever kissed under fireworks?NEVER KISSED FFS102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?IN a jar nicely packed and handed to me? no but stomach butterflies so bad i wanted to throw up? yes

[pinktama]

Dreams hurr

Why are dreams so weird wtf okay,

So last night I had a dream where, I was a celebrity wowie and I had a concert in Dubai so like, since I kind of grew up here. I asked my bestie who’s also a celebrity apparently, to come with me and like go on a joy ride with me and make stops at some of my old houses and like places with lots of meaning to me so he was like “hecku yeayu” and I was like “chill dud”

So we went for a joy ride lol and he was taking pictures of everything and I was like “Yo what u doin” then he said “I’m takin pictures so I can print it and like make a scrap book of your “childhood” kind of, y’know? like the one we did in Korea where I showed you my childhood and you took pictures too?” and then I parked the car and screamed “WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT, THIS IS WHY YOU’RE MY TRAVEL BUDDY BUD BESTIE ILY FRIEND” and he was like “ok sure me too keep driving” so we did lol

After exploring Dubai we took a break and ate at Popeyes (I LOVE POPEYES HNGGG) and we took take out cuz idk and we rested at a hotel it was cool but he said he was tired so he slept but I snuck out and went on another ride, this time to visit my old choir

When I got there, the choir was actually practicing when I got there so I just stood outside and listened and when it was over I went in and hugged my BUDDY OL PAL BESTIE in choir and she was like “OMG NDSFGSO I HAVENT SEEN U IN YEARS WHERE HAVE U BEEN OH YEAH UR A CELEB I MISS U I ACTUALLY PLANNED TO GO TO UR CONCERT BUT WHY ARE THE TICKETS SO EXPENSIVE WTF (no shade)” and yeah it went on for about a minute then I caught up with my ol piano teachers and we took pictures but then I had to go

Dont ask me how but some how I didnt have a car and I had to walk back to the hotel, so I asked this super nice lady how to get to the hotel and she walked with me there, I think we talked about some deep stuff but it was all blurry sorry

BUT GUESS WHAT

I DONT REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

GREAT

BUT IT DID CUT TO THIS FOR SOME REASON SO LETS JUST ROLL WITH IT AIGHT

So next, I was in an elevator going down and when the doors opened it was a long grey hallway with like “C” and “R” stuff on it and then OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE batman shows up behind me along with a blonde girl (She looks like weather forecast Janna tbh) and she was like this way and pointed to a door next to the “R”

when I came in, it was like an apartment kind of? like when you walked in it was like I tiny couch in front of you and there were dirty laundry everywhere, and to the left was a tiny hallway which was leading to a bigger space with like lots of stools, for like a party im guessing idk, I dont even know whats going on in my dream

There was girl sitting in the couch in the dirty laundry who was so chill she just, saluted batman, HELLO ITS BATMAN??? but then another girl came in and she was like frantically gathering the dirty laundry and she was like “sorryforthemesssorrysorrysorry” I wanted to tell her to chill but like I didnt want to say anything bcs I’m scared, I mean HELLO we’re with BATMAN 

I noticed a door to the right side of the couch, it was slightly ajar, so I went inside (BTW WTF I WOULD NEVER DO THAT IM IN SOMEONES “APARTMENT” WHAT) and it was like a super fancy toilet, it looked like this except it just had one sink and like a HUGE ASS MIRROR and to the left of the sink was a mediocre hot tub

I noticed the HUGE FUCKING MIRROR how could I not? I went near it but then after staring into it for a while it felt like I was being sucked in, my reflection was blurry but the surroundings were clear, but black smoke was starting to close in on me until I heard a scream outside, I was snapped back to what I thought was reality, I looked towards the door then back again at the mirror but this time my reflection was gone, I was freaked the fuck out that I bolted out the bathroom

I found my old “squad” with the two girls from before laughing and chilling except for B-man, he was way too cool to be laughing at fidget spinners, I was still trying to lasso back my soul into my body so I hid behind my friend uh lets call him..uh Candy idk so Candy was like you okay and he puts his arm around my shoulders i was like I’m fine BUT APPARENTLY I SHOUTED THAT SO EVERYONE LOOKED AT ME (I cried internally), following with an awkward cough I said “I’m fine” softer and more gently, but the chill girl just said “ you know you’re ugly right?” and I didnt want to deal with this shit so I said “same to you’ flipped her off

So I started to walk to the right side of the apartment while Candy followed me to a room with a queen sized bed, he hugged me and told me in THE MOST GENTLE WAY HUMANELY POSSIBLE, “Hey you look exhausted, you want me to cuddle you to sleep?” so i was like “Oho hecku yeayu” and we did

I kind of woke up in the middle of the night, it was pretty and chill until I felt some woman laugh next to me, I turned around and it was my friend’s mom?? I dont know either just bear with me

She giggled and said “Ha Shaniqwa (which is her daughter, its not her actual name pls, to all my Shaniqwa’s out there ily pls dont hurt me) why do you have a friend like Pinku even? she’s a fucktard loser and she doesnt deserve to live” lets stop there bcs I dont want anyone to get triggered and it actually hurts already lol, I dont feel like typing out everything she said, ANYWAY

her little “speech” ended with that giggle followed with “she’s going to regret staying over again, I’m going to make some Seafood Ampalaya and she has to eat it” ok it sounds stupid but I really hate seafood and ampalaya so I kind of gagged at the thought of it, im srry i just dont like fishy stuff

Anyway that got me running for my life and thought to myself, fuck that I’ll just make carbonara at home, if I even know where that is, I feel like Alice rn until I bumped into Candy again and he was actually genuinely worried and he took me back to his place where cuddled to sleep and this time it was more peaceful because I woke up 

Sorry this was rushed I tried to get everything down before I forget lol, idk why but I felt like sharing this, Idk if this dream has any meaning to it or not but eh

i’m ready to receive dm’s from people saying “get help” “wtf is wrong with u” throw them @ me hoe (jk i bet ur a nice person not a hoe k byee)

Didn’t proof read eh fuck it, post

[skiesofthesketchy]

Drunk

AN\\: lol it’s been literally forever. Oops. Anyway, I wrote this. So here you go. Let me know what you think! I take requests!!,,, unless ur request is like lame and I dont feel like it idk. Luv u all <3

Pairing: Dylan Sprayberry x reader ((sorry I don’t like putting in (Y/N) so I just put in Zoe okay))

Word count: 1,754

Warnings: na

I walk through the automatic doors and am greeted with an onslaught of people rushing in every direction, knocking into one another and looking frantic. I look side to side, trying to figure out where to find it in this mess of bodies. I see the produce aisle and start heading towards it. A lady in front of me spills popcorn everywhere. I keep walking, picking up my speed now, and bumping into people passing by. Suddenly, alarms start going off and sprinklers from the tall ceilings go off. People are yelling now and rush to the exit. But I’ve only got one thing on my mind and I’m not leaving here without it. I toss the hood of my sweatshirt up over my already soaked hair and stick my elbows out to plow past the people blocking my way. Suddenly, I see them.

The bananas. And there’s only one bunch left. I lunge for them and shout in victory as I finally manage to get ahold of them. I blink and discover someone else’s greedy hands on my bananas. I look up to a death glare matching my own, but on the face of none other than Ellen DeGeneres. I will not be defeated by her. I snatch the bananas away from her but the bunch breaks, leaving me with only one banana in my grasp, and five in hers. I cannot believe I have failed. I am a disgrace. Ellen smirks at me and pushes past me, sloshing in the puddles beneath our feet. The supermarket is empty now except for me, but I am too ashamed to move and I let the water from above soak me.

“Makin’ my way downtown. Walkin’ fast, faces pass and I’m homebound.”

Startled by my ringtone, I jolt up wondering where the hell I am. Oh, just my bedroom. I rub my eyes as I lazily reach for my cell phone. I pick it up and accidentally yawn instead of saying hello.

“Oh shit, Zoe. I’m sorry to wake you up.” I knew that voice all too well. Then again, the ringtone gave it away. 

“What? Oh no, you didn’t wake me up. I was just um...” yeah, I’m obviously still half asleep. I laugh softly, “Okay you did. What’s up Dyl?” 

“I’m really sorry to bother you, like so so sorry, the sorriest ever, but can you pick me up? Please?” You imagined him doing puppy dog eyes right now. He sounded pretty out of it.

“Dylan, have you been drinking again?” I asked him, already knowing the answer, as I start lacing up my converse. 

“Uhhh maybe?” I rolled my eyes, now throwing on a jacket. Typical Dylan, always needing me to pick him up in the middle of the night. I mean, I do lose a lot of sleep because of that boy, but I don’t mind. I’d rather him be safe instead of trying to drive himself home drunk. Plus, I feel somewhat honored that he would call me of all people when he needs help, if that makes sense. Not to mention, I may have a teeny, tiny crush on him. 

“Alright bud, where you at?”

“The elementary school.”

“Okay. I’ll be there soon.” 

“Thank you so much, Zo. I can always count on you.”

“Yeah yeah. I’m great, I know. What would you do without me?” I tease. I grab my car keys and head out to my car.

“Honestly, I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about that a lot actually,” he said quietly. Confusion crossed my face. I wonder what he means by that. 

“Okay Dyl, I’ll be there in 10.” I’ll just ask him about it when I pick him up. And with that, I hung up and headed towards the school. 

I pull up to the parking lot of the small elementary school in the quiet neighborhood. I don’t see Dylan anywhere. I drive past the lit entrance to the school and towards the fence that surrounds the playground. My headlights reveal a figure on one of the swings, back facing me. I wait a few minutes for Dylan to get into my car but he doesn’t even turn around. He knows I’m here because of the lights.

I turn off the engine and hop out of the car. “Dylan, what are you doing? Come on, let’s get you home.”

He looked back at me and motioned for me to come over.  I quietly make my way to the swing beside Dylan and sit. Something about him is off. I mean, I know he’s drunk, but he is normally very childlike and happy when he’s drunk. A few more minutes of silence go by before I can’t stand it anymore. “Dylan,” I say, but he doesn’t respond or even look at me. “What’s wrong?”

Finally, he turns to me and I can see waves of emotions behind his eyes even in the darkness, but I can’t seem to read any of them. “I’ve just been thinking about some stuff lately,” he says, and turns back to look into the darkness. 

“What kind of stuff?” A few more moments of silence go by, and I wait in patience as I lightly swing myself by tapping my foot on the ground. I’ve never seen him like this- so distraught and confused. It’s like he’s debating something within his own mind. Debating on whether to tell me or not. 

I’m beginning to think he’s not going to answer when he turns to look at me. I can barely make out his face in the darkness but I can feel his eyes piercing into me. “Mostly you.”

I can feel my heart speed up and I don’t have the courage to look away, to even move. My mouth opens for me to speak, but no words come out. “Uh- um. How come?” I finally manage and I turn away and continue swinging.

I can still feel his eyes on me but I pretend not to notice as I wait for his answer. “Because I’m wondering if I even have a chance.”

My head snaps back to his direction and he looks.... ashamed? 

“A chance with me?” I honestly can’t believe this. I never in a million years thought he would ever see me as more than a friend. “What makes you say that, Dyl?”

He let out an exasperated sigh. “Because I’m just some loser that spends more nights drunk than sober, and always calls you for help. You probably only see me as someone you have to take care of like some kid or something.” His somber demeanor is long gone by now, as he explodes with desperate emotion. “Oh god, nevermind. I shouldn’t have said anything. I shouldn’t have even called you. You’re probably so fucking tired of me. Oh god, I’m sorry Zo. Forget I said anything.” His rambling ended with him storming away.

Before he could get too far and without a second thought, I grabbed his arm and turned him towards me. He was avoiding my eyes and I could tell he was clenching his jaw. “You are not a loser. Not even close.” I looked down and entwined my fingers with his. “The fact that you would even think that just makes me so sad, because I care about you so so much Dyl.” 

I couldn’t stop my voice from cracking but I blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. He finally looked at me and I could tell his eyes were as glossy as mine. “And you are not some child that I have to parent. Don’t ever think that you’re a burden on me, because you’re not, okay? You can count on me for anything and I am always happy to help.” 

He looked down and said nothing. “I mean it, Dylan.”

I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him close. He immediately gave in to the hug and buried his head in the crook of my neck. I’m not sure how long we stayed like that until he broke the silence.

“I really like you, Zo,” Dylan said with eyes boring into mine. “I mean, I’m pretty sure I actually love you but I’m not gonna tell you that right now or I’d scare you away. Except I just said that out loud already, huh?” His face squished as he became embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I’m drunk.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, which made him look at me optimistically. I honestly can’t believe he likes back. “It’s okay Dyl,” I said, bringing him closer to me again. “I’m pretty sure I kinda love you too.” 

His smiling face matched mine and we sort of laughed at the whole situation. Both our faces beaming happily now, I noticed Dylan look down at my lips, and bit his in the process. He leaned in but his lips came in contact with my cheek as I turned my head. “Let’s get you home now,” I said, walking away towards the direction of my car.

When I didn’t hear him respond I looked over my shoulder to find him right where I left him, mouth agape and disbelief across his face.

“What?”

“But, we just did the whole “confessing our love to each other” thing. Like in all those crappy movies you love. And- and you’re just gonna leave me hangin?”

“Oh please,” I laughed. “You probably won’t remember any of this. You can barely walk straight!” I started walking again.

He jogged to catch up with me. “Trust me. I’ll remember.” I went to open the door of my car, but Dylan leaned against it, arms folded and blocking me from getting in. The seriousness of the night washed away and became playful. I saw the smirk on his face and knew what he wanted.

“K, how bout this. If you remember everything that happened tomorrow, then you can have your kiss.” Dylan did not seem amused.

“I pinky promise, okay?” I held out my pinky and he looked at it skeptically. He knows that I do not break pinky promises, no matter what. After a few seconds of contemplation, he finally locked his pinky with mine. “Now move! It’s late and we both have stuff to do tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Dylan said, shuffling over to the passenger side of the car. “And promises to keep,” he smirked. I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t stop the smile playing at my lips. 

...

[doug-eiffel-deserves-better]

And now, a live-blogging of what i think was the most emotionally chaotic 30 minutes of my life, AKA the kfam two-year anniversary episode that we were all dreading

WITH GOOD FRICKING REASON

hello everyone i still love this theme it’s time to die

the ambient music festival sounds like some Night Vale crap

Ben why are you so nervous

you didn’t plan anything did you

did you forget your anniversary

nope you’re just kinda being a scaredy-cat

with good reason tho so i dont blame him

all these water jokes are gr8 tho

sammy no please speak

adorable omg sammy you’re adorable

best friends

this is not going to go well oh no i’m afraid

oh dear  o h   d e a r

ben did you finally realize

ohhhhhmygosh it’s h a p p e n i n g i’m gonna scream

MY POOR SON GOT DROP-KICKED INTO A SUPPORT BEAM

BY B E N

my poor son is in pain

ben can jump like a ballerina pass it on

BEN AND EMILY TEXT WHEN SHE CAN’T SLEEP IM GONNA CRY

im still confused about which tim is tim

Ben “Big Deal” Arnold

yes ben call ur gf

not w h a t button

i hate grisham so much

this isn’t going well oh d e a r  oh  d e a r oH DEAR

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM HOW COULD ANYONE EVEN GRISHAM

OH

MY

GOSH

IM GOING TO CRY I DONT LIKE THIS

UUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

BUT THIS IS ALSO ALL I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR

THE ANGST I’VE NEEDED AND DREADED

“DON’T GO”

I AM GOING TO THROTTLE GRISHAM WITH MY BARE HANDS

IM ADOPTING RON AS MY SON

did,,,,,,,,, did sammy leave

this episode is only halfway over and im not sure if this is good or bad

OH FRICK

WHY IS THERE A SIREN OH GOSH IM AFRAID

MY CHEST IS TIGHT RN IM SCARED FOR THEM

YES RON Y E S  STAND UP TO HIM

WHAT

W H A T

WHAT WHAT DID HE DO E X C U S E ME

OH NO OH NO

everything is happening

SHE CAME

S H E  B R O U G H T  A  C A K E

IM GOING TO CRY

tell me this is going where i think it’s going

please

i need s o m e t h i n g  good to come out of this

don’t never mind him

haha emily u cant put a damper on something that’s already ruined

SHE K N O W S

she needs to be protected

PROMISE HER, BOY

Y E S

Y E S

THIS BETTER GO SOMEWHERE GOOD

why is she cryiNG

OH F R I C K

THIS DID NOT GO SOMWHERE GOOD

THIS DID NOT GO WHERE I HOPED IT WAS GOING

I HATE THAT MAN SO MUCH F R I C K A  R D

SAMMY

SON

BAD TIME

GREG BETTER DIE, BEN KILL HIM RIGHT THE FRICK NOW

I’M GOING TO SCREAM HOW COULD HE HOW. COULD. HE.

oh no oh no oh no oh no

LADY LOVE N O

THIS IS EVERYTHING I WAS D R E A D I N G

sammy never gets his problems dealt with

this. is the most mature thing ben arnold has ever done...

i have a new love for him

SAMMIVERSARY

sammy why would you want greg to stAY

HOLY FRICK

Y E S SAMMY

SAMMY

MY B O I

I LO V E   Y O U

Emily’s sanity is more important than whatever i hoped for

let him cry

HUG

BRO HUG

IM SCREAMING

IM IN TEARS

IM BROKEN

GOODBYE EVERYONE

I AM DECEASED

[bangtannnscenariosbro]

Hogwarts Students!BTS

Admin River speaks: ok i’ve had this idea for sO long and I’ve been rereading the series again for the 5th time rip me. but yeah just these are my opinions pls dont attack me ddjjfjfjs. Also I made this a while ago and recently Namjoon wrote where the members would be, I know, I know. So without further ado, enjoyyyy 

Tae

• the cute Gryffindor who always seems to smile • messy hair • and robes • his shirt is usually unbuttoned a few buttons • loose tie • his wand behind his left ear • chaser !!! • usually gets out of trouble because none of the teachers seem to be able to r e s i s t his s m i l e • headmaster/mistress probably has a soft spot for him • probably has rlly good grades, like all O’s maybe a few E’s • “but, professor” • can be restless and talkative in class • is probably rlly into care of magical creatures • Hagrid would absolutely a d o r e him • just so full of life • in the choir bc yes boi • h o g s m e a d e especially when its s n o w i n g

• most likely part veela

• like have you s e e n him

• beauty right there • is able to smuggle in firewhiskey

• laughs when the other students cant drink it and make a face

• laughs even more when they watch in horror as he downs a cup

• “the hell, tae ???”

• j o k e s h o p

• loves the Weasley’s joke shop

• talks to the ghosts and portraits a lot

• has probs accidently charmed a couple ladies in the portraits

• which comes in handy when he finds out all these secret passages

• loves flower crowns and loves making them during the spring

• “here yoongi i made u one”

• “..... I'm more concerned as how u knew thats my favorite flower.”

• “that’s your favorite flower?”

• “.... forget i said anything.”

• k just imagine after a game he flies down from his broom with a huge grin and pushes he goggles up and so his hair is all wild and even more messy

• n he brings every1 in a group hug and cheers “we won, we won !!!”

• even if they dont win be celebrates with the other team

•...somtimes.. be gets pouty tho

• “we literally could have won that was a foul :(“

Jin • cute Hufflepuff • always so full of advice

• if u want u could set up a lil date with him at hogsmeade to just talk about your problems and sip a warm drink • so s o motherly • sometimes he has a loose tie and disheveled hair • he has rlly nice skin and the other students are like ??? tell me ur secrets ??? • hufflepuff’s dorms are by the kitchens so he probably made friends with the elves working there • can probably walk in and out whenever he wants • the few times he walks in late to class he probably has a few crumbs on his mouth or robes or maybe like some sugar or flour and its so e n d e a r i n g • such a good student • pays so much attention in class • sometimes wears those glasses, you know which ones • the girls probably all like him • and a few boys too hehe coughsnamjooncoughs • probably likes charms and maybe divination • he probably also likes herbology • also is probably in the choir because i mean have you h e a r d h i m • loves going to Hogsmeade • probably is pretty good friends with Madame Rosmerta • exchanges recipes with her • he seems so sophisticated and people probs look up to him a lot • p r e f e c t • h e a d  b o y

• tells so many jokes to first years

• windshield laugh

• u would think the first years would be scared but no???

• they end being less nervous and smile and giggle with him

• even jin gets slightly surprised

• they end up getting close with him and almost like his own kids

• “but jiiiiiiiiinnn”

• “fine :/”

• ok but he stops so many fights n things from escalating too quickly

• both in the dorms and in bts

• even a couple teacher drama incidents

• professors lowkey want him to stay n teach there

• gets so worried??? About people ???

• he has a nervous tick where he keeps rubbing his hands as if he's putting on lotion

• but if he's rlly worried he's absolutely still and that's probs when u should be worried too Yoongi • ok he was rlly hard • like i wanted to say slytherin but idk i felt like i was stereotyping a bit by looks • i wanted to say ravenclaw but like idk man • i think I’m settling for g r y f f i n d o r • he’s rlly brave, man, like he went through so m u c h and he is so strong and f i g h t s back yanno • some ppl probably can't understand why he’s a gryffindor and he wants to keep it like that lol • he’s never seen doing his hw most of the time but gets ??? Perfect scores??? • he unbuttons one button on his shirt because its t o o t i g h t dammit i cant breathe • also slightly loose tie • defense against the dark arts all the way bro • a knack for transfiguration but gets so flustered when the professor compliments him which means red cheeks and wide eyes for days • hypes up quidditch so m u c h • like if its rlly cold and its raining he’d be like ew gross no im not going • but is a l w a y s there • gummy smiles and screaming when they win • he’s rlly good at quidditch but never joined bc “too much responsibility” • he’s lowkey insecure about his skills but sshh dont tell anyone • probs joins like 5th year

• a beater probably

• helps with stress lol • he has so much confidence and ppl appreciate that and wish they had that

• joon gave him a music box once cause he thought it was rlly pretty n yoongi just fell in love with it

• ink stained fingers

Jimin • the cute hufflepuff everyone adores • hypes up friends 25/8 • talks in class and then gets sheepish and embarrassed when he gets called out to stop • will fight??? Anyone ??? Who messes with his friends ??? • but liek if u hurt him u suddenly got all of hufflepuff as ur enemy sorry bro • he’s so so sweet like he probably gives all his professors gifts for the holidays • homemade cookies (with the help of jin ofc) • probably takes up knitting so that he can make scarfs 4 his frens • always there at quidditch games and hypes all his friend even if they’re against each other • he’s so reliable??? • giggles 4 days • but liek he is so cute n innocent but has laser focus and is so passionate about getting things done some ppl are just ??? Slytherin tho ??? • he’s the loyalist loyal to ever loyal • he probs enjoys muggle studies • muggle studies and potions • he likes the fact that you get all these ingredients and then end up with this huge product that can save lives or end them   w i l d t • will stay up rlly late if u need someone to talk to • will also make sure u go to ur dorm safely and probably tuck u in

• the kind of person every1 wants 2 protect

• but dOnt be fooled this boi can be solo mischievous

• its ok tho he cute

• he's like hot chocolate with whipped cream and caramel sauce

• ya feel?

• will break the rules if he has to don't underestimate him

• don't underestimate him in general

Namjoon

• ravenclaw!!!

• this boi is so smart like he could have easily pursued a career academically n wasnt he top of his class too ?

• even if that's wrong his lyrics sure prove it right

• he would do certain things and ppl would be like typical ravenclaw

• at first he was proudful of his house but then he slowly started getting insecure

• he didn't want to be known as this typical ravenclaw

• but he soon realizes that it's ok because he's just being himself n if ppl need to label things then o well

• v awkward but so w i s e

• like he thinks of so many abstract ideas that like??? It's amazing??

• carries around a lil notebook full of stories and poems

• so much p a t i e n c e

• he also feels so deeply and sometimes feels like exploding so he probably gets in lil moods where he wants to be alone

• luckily he has his frens (bts) who r like uhm bro let's talk

• so sweet and just wants the best 4 ppl but its sometimes hard to express t h a t

• stresses out easily during exams

• laughs and smiles that make flowers grow

• p r e f e c t a n d h e a d b o y

• he does lil things like save u butterbeer if ur not feeling well or get u sum sweets from Hogsmeade

• such a sweetheart

• luvs spending time outside especially during the spring

• lowkey writes poetry about his friends

• he just appreciates them so much

• transfiguration and ancient runes boi

• l i b r a r y

• Filch probably picks on the poor boy like

• joon is running back to his dorm after a study session in the library

• n filch is like iTs AftEr Hours

• and joon is like ??? I have 5 minutes ???

• sometimes he goes wide eyes like a deer in the headlights when he panics or doesn't know what's going on omg protect this boi

Hoseok

• okAy he's Ravenclaw tOo fIght mE

• he is just so fascinated by learning new things like

• wth that plant can do that???

• that animal exists ???

• w ow i e

• ok but sunshine boi

• is absolutely excited about herbology and care of magical creatures

• also charms

• he's just always so excited to learn new things !!!

• he stresses easily tho and breaks down a lot bc he gets a lot of pressure to get good grades

• like boi that's not ravenclaw calm ya shit

• frens defend him 25/8

• keeper!!!

• he learns to keep his wand hidden in weird places and like pulls it out at random places and ppl are like ???

• lots of screamign and happiness

• ppl get annoyed but it's hoseok he can do no wrong

• asks weird questions that are somehow relevant to the subject but r so abstract that even some professors are baffled

• he's so flexible ???

• like some ppl r just ??? How the h e ck??

• n liek the lil shit he is he winks and says “magic”

• lots of “hobi why”

• charms banners for quidditch when he doesn't play so they're all pretty n cool

• the school doesn’t suspect it's him

• him sharing a bunk with namjoon !!!

• luvs visiting Hagrid with Tae

• always has a new piece of info about dragons 2 share with Hagrid

• robes r usually wrinkled

• him wearing flower crowns/ bracelets that tae makes

Jungkook

• okay so

• hear me out

• s l y t h e r i n

• he was 15 when he debuted n liek ???

• he's 19 now ?? Thats a lot of ambition and hard work

• also he's a meme n he's cunning when he wants stuff

• n he also said he can handle hard schedules but when bts starts to hurt that's when he feels bad like ???

• but liek he gets kinda insecure sometimes bc slytherin is “””””bad””””””

• but he gets a talk from namjoon that ppl will be like that n to just ignore because a house is just supposed to let u be surrounded by ppl who r similar to u to learn better

• he also lowkey gives him permission to beat any1 up

• when he was younger he would sometimes sneak to other dorms

• to be with one of the members since be was insecure n shy with his house members

• but he soon grew confident and made other friends and bts were like proud moms lol

• seeker!!!!

• he always feels bad going against his frens but they just wink at him n he gets confidence

• frequent visits to madame pomfrey bc he a daredevil smh

• joins choir like 3rd year

• he hesitated for so long because he's an insecure bab and !!!!

• but tae n jin r liek cmon boi ur very good let's do this

• he pretends to be a bad boi with bts but he barely gets a glimpse of a professor n he quickly straightens his tie n smooths down his shirt

• art !!!!

• he likes to sketch ppl

• “hey yoongi do this with ur hands”

• wavy haired jungkook 6th n 7th year !!!!!

• his book bag has at least 2 sketchbooks

• he would feel so bad when ppl would notice his robes and point and whisper

• but they realized how he actually was n how bts treated him

• vvvv talented

• catches on to concepts right away

• ppl think he likes defense against the dark arts but actually……..

• care of magical creatures is his fav

• probs lowkey likes astronomy

[compunctionjunction]

70 horrible questions

I was tagged by the lovely @1of1prism thank u my guy <3

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Maybe better than some people but probably also worse than a lot of people lol. Sometimes I go to people’s houses and I’m like ???what is this “communication”. Also depends on the day and parent. i have an entire tag devoted to my dad lol

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? I dunno probs my mom or one of my friends 

03: Do you regret anything? Lots

04: Are you insecure? "My insecurities have insecurities” tho tbh i’m gettin pretty good. 

05: What is your relationship status? Single and not ready to mingle

06: How do you want to die? in control and ready 2 go

07: What did you last eat? cream of chicken soup... chocolate frozen yogurt... caramel pudding....... I just had my wisdom teeth out.......give me real food......

08: Played any sports? Never, in my life. The audacity.

09: Do you bite your nails? Ahuh! Sometimes!

10: When was your last physical fight? ive never been in a 2-way fight but the most recent 1-sided one was probs in gr 6 when one of my friends (aha) dragged me across the classroom by my hair lol

11: Do you like someone? No :\

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? try 72 hon

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? lol trump (im not changing ur answer sophie cause its accurate lol) also anyone who aligns w him and rn all the conservative MPs for being dicks and a lot more I’m full of hatred rn 

14: Do you miss someone? i miss being able to eat real 

15: Have any pets? my sister has 2 ferrets :\ but she moved out so no

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? my face hurts

17: Ever made out in the bathroom? made out a cheque to my haters (just kidding i have no money and no haters i just was trying to be funny. im sorry. i need humour right now.)

18: Are you scared of spiders? i mean i think it depends on how dark it is and how big the spider is tbh 

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? i dunno i’ll need an informed consent form

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? :\ 

21: What are your plans for this weekend? first i gotta recover and then i gotta finish like 5 papers and hang with people and have a sleepover and hang with more ppl and watch a bunch of tv

22: Do you want to have kids? How many? I want to give birth to 0 kids tho I am still undecided on adoption etc. I’d probs be a rly good godmother tho like im just sayin. @1of1prism @purewhiteflames​ ;)) 

23: Do you have piercings? How many? no piercings as of yet tho i wanna get my ears pierced i think. but my dad disapproves of anything like that so i’d probs have to wait to either move out or be financially independent lol

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? rn? english, women and gender studies, most things involving research-based papers where i have free reign over the topic 

25: Do you miss anyone from your past? lotsa ppl tbh

26: What are you craving right now? food........that i can eat........ chickenmelts........hamburgers......pizza........pasta......... :’(

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? prob lol but do i care

28: Have you ever been cheated on? we’ve all been cheated on.......by the system.....

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? that would require having one

30: What’s irritating you right now? my goddamn jaw and people eating food I can’t eat in front of me. my parents had mcdonalds yesterday. you know what i had. a milkshake. my sister brought home bacon wrapped scallops. I haven’t had scallops in like 2 years cause they’ve doubled in price and the one time we have scallops let alone frickin bacon wrapped scallops (like what the hell what kinda fancyass lunch) I cant FRICKIN eat it. Oh but I can smell it. I can hear u crunching on these foods. “Mmmmm!” ya shut up.

31: Does somebody love you? Do you know how popular I am? I am soooo popular. Everybody loves me so much at this school.

32: What is your favourite color? black and hot pink together

33: Do you have trust issues? ...........why are u asking..........what will u do with that info.......

34: Who/what was your last dream about? NO FREAKING JOKE!!!!!! i HAD A FRICKIN DREAM WHERE DANNY DEVITO CAME TO MY HOUSE WITH THIS LADY AND THEY TRIED TO BUY MY HOUSE AND MY MOM WAS LIKE “no..” AND THEY WERE SO MAD AND DANNY DEVITO TRIED TO STEAL THE HOUSE KEYS BUT I CAUGHT HIM JUST IN TIME like what kinda fake tumblr text post but it’s real i really dreamed that. I honestly can’t believe it. I would doubt it myself except I told someone abt it right away when I woke up. so now i will never forget.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? my mom and this nurse because I woke up in a cot after being high on laughing gas and some other drug and steroids so not only did I wake up and I didn’t know where I was and no one was there and there was like an hour gap in my consciousness but I was coming off a high LOL

36: Do you give out second chances too easily? definitely not lol I give 2nd chances on rare occasions but as a general rule if u break my trust I won’t trust u in the same way again lol “trust is like a mirror. u can fix it if it’s broke. but u can still see the crack in that mother fucker’s reflection”

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? hmmmmmmmmmmmmm forgive i guess

38: Is this year the best year of your life? well not politically or in a global sense but in terms of like self-growth and stuff I’m doing pretty well so far I’m doin pretty good. workin hard... having fun.. loving myself.. 

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? i have never in my life sullied my lips with someone else’s bacteria-laden lips

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? n.........o

51: Favourite food? chicken pasta alfredo, chicken pie, chicken vol au vents, chickenmelts, eggs benedict, um, double chocolate fudge tart from dufflet... hmm, Sophie’s dad’s lasagna and also pasta al fuerno or whatever that’s called like yum, uh.. it’s really easy to list these off when i CAN’T HAVE ANY OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also poutine, and I also rly like Subway (ham and cheese on italian herbs and cheese bread with lettuce, onion, pickles, and mayonaisse, toasted...) 

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? kind of but I tried to explain it to someone once and they were like ??????what ur saying makes no sense and contradicts itself and i was like ya probably lol

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? watched a bad tv show my parents were watching and drank a giant mcdonalds milkshake and iced my face

54: Is cheating ever okay? honestly who am i to judge ur relationship and forgiveness and stuff but like imo if someone cheats on u they don’t respect u as an equal in that relationship or probably as a human

55: Are you mean? i can be a bit of a dick tbh but most of the time when i say something mean in my head im like “why is my mouth saying//why are my fingers typing these horrible ass things??”

56: How many people have you fist fought? well ive never used my fists on anyone but 2 people have punched me in the stomach does that count lol

57: Do you believe in true love? at the same time, i wanna hug you, i wanna wrap my hands around your neck, you’re an asshole, but i love you... so much i think it must be true love, true love. it must be tru-e love, no one else could break my heart like yo-o-o-o-o-o. yo-o-o-o-oh, oh-o-o-oh (No)

58: Favourite weather? either when its foggy and tranquil or when its like 23-25 degrees and sunny but also there’s some clouds so it’s not like direct hot sun on u but it’s still warm enough to wear shorts

59: Do you like the snow? i like when it’s snowing and quiet and peaceful and i like lying down in the snow and having that feeling of hearing everything kind of muted? but ya i hate slush and ice and stuff 

60: Do you wanna get married? not really but i might for tax benefits LOL

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? No, get that shit away from me

62: What makes you happy? lots of things especially seeing other people happy and genuine

63: Would you change your name? Maybe tbh it’s something i’m thinking abt right now cause I’m not a super fan of my name but maybe not officially and I also don’t wanna start shit with my fam I think my mom would be upset lol 

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? ya cause they don’t exist lol

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? well thats nice cause I like him too but what’s with this “opposite sex” bs like i know what u mean but like 

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? like seriously it’s not a real thing sex and gender are both constructs it’s a spectrum, a range. my buddy. pal. listen. (also ya i like to think anyone in our friend group but like probs john cause I can be scathing with those guys but as if i’d ever be vulnerable around them LOL)

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? like ur gonna keep going with this. ur gonna keep doing this. thats fine. but i can give u some reading. like i have all these pdfs if ur interested. no joke. and if pdfs are unaccessible to u i also have a bunch of youtube links. like hon. (my dad)

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? wow i dont even know if i can tag u back @1of1prism cause if im being honest i think it was @purewhiteflames oops, yikes!!!

69: Do you believe in soulmates? no but i do think there are people that u are much more compatible with than other people

70: Is there anyone you would die for? i dunno we’ll see if/when it happens lol

I’m not gonna put anyone else through this so you can say I tagged u if u wanna do it but like lol

[sadrien]

wanna chat? pt. 14

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

i got my harry potter nerd on for this chapter, mostly because i wanted to write and didn't know what to write about

also, i'm glad you all liked the previous chapter <3

dipshit = adrien fergie = alya no = nino dancing queen = mari

enjoy~

16:30

fergie: its 2 quiet in here time for the #discourse

no: no

fergie: shit im blanking i need a topiC @the babs: someone pls

no: i refuse to support this

dipshit: Anything?

fergie: yes

dipshit: Ok give me a second

no: fuck dude i just wanted a day of chill

fergie: babe with friends like us thats just not possible

dancing queen: What are we doing??

dipshit: Hogwarts house discourse Go

no: i cant believe i have to break up with you

fergie renamed this conversation to “hogwarts house discourse”.

dancing queen: Oh no

fergie: alright alright alright adrien = puff mari = puff nino = puff

dipshit: How do you figure

no: uhhh

dancing queen: Sorry al that seems wrong

dancing queen: oh it is it definitely is but ur all sweet enough for hufflepuff and loyal and we all eat too much food hmmm realistic one… adrien = puff mari = snake nino = raven mayb

dipshit: Make Mari Gryffindor and I’ll agree with you

fergie: whaaaaaat our girl is ambitious aF theres no way

dipshit: But she’s also a really strong leader and incredibly brave

dancing queen: If were arguing over anyone Id say adrien should be a gryffindor Oh wait maybe ravneclaw???? Hes super smart Shit this is really hard? He could be in three???

no: the fuck i was thinking slytherin actually

fergie: ???

dancing queen: ???????

no: listen my dudes the hat takes what you want into consideration right? it does it for harry anyway

fergie: what does this have to do with marshmallow being a snake which is just not accurate

no: im getting there

dipshit: Are we going by stereotypes or nah

dancing queen: Nah The stereotypes suck

no: im just saying theres no fucking way if we were wizards teh agrestes wouldnt be pure bloods and gabriel would be classic fucking slytherin

dancing queen: Ok Ill agree with that

fergie: mhmmmm

dipshit: I wouldn’t say that

no: bro even if you arent going off stereotypes your old man is probably the mos t ambitious perosn ive ever met like scary mari is almost as scary

dancing queen: Hey!!!!!!

fergie: so sorting hat

no has changed their name to sorting hat.

sorting hat: sup

fergie: are u saying adrien would ASK 2 b slytherin

sorting hat: well yeah yeah i am 

fergie: …………… i did not consider

sorting hat: i know you didnt

dancing queen: First of all since we cant decide and Im getting mixed answers from online quizzes

dancing queen has changed their name to lion snake.

lion snake: Second of all doesnt the hat also base it off of what you value the most??

dipshit: Lion snake? Like a chimera?

fergie: nerd

dipshit: Actually the chimera also has a goat ignore me

sorting hat: what the fuck

dipshit: Greek mythology

fergie: u kno what i dont wanna kno

dipshit: Anyway back to this

sorting hat: oh yeah anywa yeah the hat does but adrien wanting to please his dad might overrule that idk my dude jk didnt exactly lay ou t the rules of this super great

fergie: jk needs to c h i l l and ye each of the golden trio couldve ended up in at least one other house

dipshit: That would’ve been cool Also I don’t think I try to please my dad that much

fergie: oh sweetheart

sorting hat: dude

lion snake: Adrien you really really do

dipshit: Really?

fergie has changed their name to adriens legal guardian.

adriens legal guardian: someone needs to take care of you

dipshit: I promise I’m fine I’ve got Nathalie

sorting hat: does nathalie give you hugs

dipshit: No? Why is that relevant?

adriens legal guardian: SHE DOESNT COUNT THEN #HUGADRIENAGRESTE2K17

adriens legal guardian has changed their name to i love adrien.

i love adrien: turn on ur location agreste

dipshit: Please know that’s actually kind of creepy I’m at home you don’t have to worry about location

i love adrien: hella

sorting hat: alya chill out with the name chagnes also now im gonna be confuse d

i love adrien: i love him too but truuuuu

dipshit: ????

i love adrien: can i change it

sorting hat: last time for today??

i love adrien: ilysm

i love adrien has changed their name to cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub

dipshit: I have a fanclub? Wait that wasn’t the smartest thing to say

lion snake: Its a good thing youre cute

dipshit: I try to ignore them

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: have u ever been on the official insta of the fanclub bc its hilarious and beautiful

dipshit: …. Alya why

sorting hat: oh we totally googled you

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: mhm

lion snake: ^^^^

dipshit: That’s…..nice of you?

lion snake: Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable omg

dipshit: It’s just? Kinda weird?? I don’t mind and I probably should’ve expected it I just forget sometimes that that’s a thing people can/will do

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: adri if it makes u feel any better i google everyone ive googled everyone in this chat in our class their parents ymself random strangers if im able to

sorting hat: that is not surprising at all

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ur not special i mean u r ur v special to me and ilysm but not here everyone gets googled and twitter stalked also tell whoevers running ur official accounts to be less lame idc about salad u eat

dipshit: What????

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ur social media is B O R I N G i kno u dont run it but i still expected more memes

dipshit: Honestly I don’t look at it

sorting hat: its like the person we thought you were when we first met you except more boring

lion snake: Ok no thats not true Because I thought he was an asshole

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: oh shit tru

dipshit: Ahhhh yeah sorry about that

lion snake: Its fine I promise!!! Weve talked about this Its like Super perfect adn model-y and professional andnot  at all a teenage loser who stayed up until 2 watching sailor moon and eating doritos

sorting hat: fucking relatable

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: weebs

sorting hat: yo youre the one who decided to date some

lion snake: Hey Ive never asked Adrien do you have unofficial personal social media???

dipshit: ……………………. Shhhhhh

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: WHAAAAAAAT LINKS LINK S LINKS LINSK

dipshit: I have a tumblr but that’s it

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: oh my go d this weekend  we get 2gether adn make adrien all the social media and we revamp his tumblr bc ur theme sucks

dipshit: ???? You’ve never even seen it???

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i know it does marsh !!!!!!!! can u imagine if lb and cn had social media!!!!! id c r y

PM between dipshit and lion snake

dipshit: P l e a s e

lion snake: Oh my og d

dipshit: Please please please please please please please plEASE

lion snake: HOld on!!! Im discussing with tikki

dipshit: Plagg says he doesn’t care what we do

lion snake: Yeah we arent trusting him

dipshit: Fair enough WHAT IF I CAN GET SNAPCHAT ON MY BATON A LITERAL SNAPCHAT

lion snake: No Just because of that No

dipshit: Pleaaaaaseeeeeeeee My lady it’ll be great I swear

lion snake: U gh Well talk on it on patrol tonight k??

dipshit: YES!!!!

19:05 in hogwarts house discourse

sorting hat: i know weve moved on but man. fuck snape

 20:12

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: do u think if i track down lb and cn and ask them for their hogwarts houses theyll tell me

sorting hat: worth a shot?

 20:42

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: update: chat says ladybg is a gryffindor and lb says shes iether that or slytherin so like mari and they cant agree on cn

 22:53

sorting hat: damn you adrien i cant stop thinking about this what is mari?? what is adrien??? what am i?? al youre either gryffindor or ravenclaw ive decided

lion snake: Youre the sorting hat shouldnt you know all???

sorting hat: bruh we need the actual sorting hat for this

lion snake: Fair enough

sorting hat: lets say adrien is a hatstall and move on

3:03

PM between dipshit and lion snake

dipshit: Rise and shine bugaboo Akuma at 3 o’clock Literally 3 o’clock the time not the like If you’re using 12, 3, 6, and 9 as directions It’s not You know what My tracker on my baton is turned on so use that to find me

 3:08

dipshit: Mari Mari Alright plan b I’m gonna call  you and if you don’t pick up I’m going to show up on your balcony Which sounds creepy but also this akuma is now stacking cars and I don’t really know what to do? They aren’t even trying to do anything else right now Am I missing something??? I’m confused

 3:12

lion snake has changed their name to ahHHH

ahHHH: IM SO SORRY Tikki woke me up my phone was muted She says Waitw e dont hav etime for this Ive gotta transform so Ill talk to you when I get there??

dipshit: It’s fine just watching an akuma build a tower out of cars Remind me to show you how to sync Skype up to your yoyo

ahHHH: Youre on skype on your baton??

dipshit: Yeah it makes things easier

ahHHH: Huh Al and nino didnt wake up?

dipshit: I think the akumas too far away for them to hear, but also it’s not exactly being distructive When we actually start fighting people might start waking up but for now it’s being pretty quiet even with the car stacking

ahHHH: Well thats good they need their sleep Wait if the akuma was quiet how did you know??

dipshit: People started posting to the Ladyblog forums and I had that open in another tab

ahHHH: ???/ Why were you up????

dipshit: Bad night I couldn’t sleep so I put on Howl’s Moving Castle

ahHHH: Feeling any better?

dipshit: I’m sure I’ll feel better when I see you :3

ahHHH: Oh myg do Itst oo early for this Ill see you in fa few just stop that cat face

dipshit: ;3

[katie-june]

I am gay and answered Qs w/o being asked :^)

1. Are looks important in a relationship? Yes and no /^: idk 2. Are relationships ever worth it? always 3. Are you a virgin? Depends on ur definition, ive never done the Real Deal 4. Are you in a relationship? Yea :^) 5. Are you in love? Yea :^) 6. Are you single this year? Na and i hope i will nevr b 7. Can you commit to one person? Ya p much, like i dont Have 2 b with any1 else 8. Describe your crush neat-o! 9. Describe your perfect mate i am v confused on what i like atm 10. Do you believe in love at first sight? Na i believe thats called lust 11. Do you ever want to get married? I hope so!! 12. Do you forgive betrayal? Easily 13. Do you get jealous easily? In a reltionship-y way Never 14. Do you have a crush on anyone? Ya :^) 15. Do you have any piercings? I got big ol holes in my ears )^: 16. Do you have any tattoos? Lil gay ones on my hand ( an A for Amber and a peace sign) 17. Do you like kissing in public? Like na but if u rlly want 2 then sure! 20. Do you shower every day? I try /-: 21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? I hope so 22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Prolly not 23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? yea 24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? Prolly not but it’d b fun 25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? Yee!! 26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? yea 27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? Me n lea used to write poems 28. Have you ever been cheated on? Not rlly 29. Have you ever cheated on someone? no 30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? Like ya ,, but prolly would never ( my nose) 31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? yee 32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Yea i think so 33. Have you ever had sex with a man? :^/ i dont love this question 34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? Ya i guess 35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? yea 36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? I like like my bff Leanna 37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? I dont think so? 38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yeea lmao 39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? Ive been in love w/ 2 many teachers )^: ………. I was v dumb 40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? yee 41. Have you had sex so far this year? Like ya if u define it that way 42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? 2 sec prolly if im not scared 43. How long was your longest relationship? 3+ yrs !! 44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 1, little leann 45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? 0-1 ? 46. How many times did you have sex last year? Who knows lol idk how 2 count 47. How old are you? 18!! 48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? “I know” 49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Evrything ,, but also how sweet n pure she is, plus she is thicc 50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? My 1st true love was prolly lea so idk why she’d apologize 51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? yea 52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? I never give up on any1 tbh 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? Prolly,, im gay 54. Is there someone you will never forget? Idk this is a wonky question 55. Share a relationship story. na 56. State 8 facts about your body im only doin 4 ..im 5’1,i have small hands,i am v flat, and i have the Worst nose 57. Things you want to say to an ex i dont have 1 58. What are five ways to win your heart? Be sweet to me,, hold me,, let me hold u,, tell me im small,, sing 2 me 59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) n o 60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? Idk the definition Of partner?? 1 year i guess if its lea 61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? Who nose? Charm maybe? 62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Be nice 2 me,, sing to me?? Idk 63. What is your definition of “having sex”? Prolly doing the Real Deal but since im with a lady i guess doin sum else 64. What is your definition of cheating? U can do stuff with other ppl as long as i kno ,, if its a secret then thts cheating 65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? Who nose im vanilla and gay 66. What is your favourite roleplay? N o n e… reminds me of furries 67. What is your idea of the perfect date? Anythin 68. What is your sexual orientation? Bi i guess but ill b with any1 // I don't love labels 69. What turns you off? Idk tbh ?? depends 70. What turns you on? Neck kisses n stuff, singin,, gentle affection (im lonely) 71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? I dont remember tbh 72. What words do you like to hear during sex? Prolly anything if its said the right way 73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? Give me attention 74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? A nice voice or smthn 75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? Lea gave me meaning in life and someone 2 wake up next 2 76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? Who nose 77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? Above 18 who cares 78. What’s your dirtiest secret? Cant remember 79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? Like never tbh idk 80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Prolly a few minutes/ an hour ago 81. Who are five people you find attractive? I dont like this 1 82. Who is the last person you hugged? leann! 83. Who was your first kiss with? Leann!! 84. Why did your last relationship fail? It didnt )^: ?? 85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? Hell yea

[treveesamoe-blog]

august 20th 2018

i got back from hawaii this morning. alot has happeneed since my last entry  and a lot is soon to be happened. in two days exactly because thats when i move into my apartment and start my sophomore year at lmu. i honestly cant remember what it was like to be in college or go to school. i always say and think this but i feel so different now. i feel like im just in the passenger seat of life letting it take me wherever it feels. i feel like there isnt control and ive given up trying to harnass it the way i envision it. im tired. im bleh. i dont allow myself to be sad or mad or happy or anything. id say most of my present is dedicated to anxiety. for a month now on and off ive had this awful wobbly like im on a boat feeling. imm convinced it has something to do with my inner ear. but i also just think its a perfect storm too. i have too much sodium in my diet (my world famous top ramen really did that), i dont eat enough protein or enough in general, im detoxing my body from 2 years of weed abuse plus adderall plus nicotine plus coke. and i was surfing in rough waves and driving to high elevations and back down to sea level and then back up and then down and then through curvy roads on the road to hana. and i start school in a few days and im nervous about what its gonna be this year. at the same time im kinda just like well summer is gonna end and its all gonna be over soon no matter my feelings so why not just let this wave take me wherever. im not sure if this is a healthy mindset. i just wanna live in the present. like in SKAM when isak says “life is now”. life is in this moment that im writing this entry. life is in the now. and im determined to keep myself in the now not floating to the darkest or most nostalgic parts of my past or the fears or expecations of my future. im just gonna enjoy what is around me now. whenever now is. thats my goal.

i picked up my “HEAT” bomber jacket from grandma today and we ended up looking through her moms and grandma’s memory boxes. hard to put into words how meaningful that was. family really is everything. i love my grandma and ive realized she deserves to be protected from my demons, even if i dont always see them that way. see look im actually honest in these entries lol. i have such a rough choice ahead of me telling her and my dad. i just want to enjoy how it is now before i taint it with who i was born to love. i choose my grandma over unhealthy worldy desires. i want to make her proud. and that means not settling, but finding my guy. someone im proud of and that lifts me up. hes out there and i know hes fun and cute and happy and i know hes waiting for me too. i trust the universe will bring me to him when the time is right and the stars align haha. for now im just gonna focus on my health and school. love can come find me. and i know it will not when im waiting for my life to begin but when im running with it. 

in other universe news, i prayed that the universe would put a boy in my life and it HAPPENED lmaoo. honestly doesnt even seem real that it happened but it really did. so this guy chris that i met on tinder (lol i know tinder gross stupid dum whatever but hey, it put him on my radar and im not complaining). anyways he was at the same resort town as me in maui this past week with all his friends! how crazy is that! hes the one guy thats been on my mind for a while now and we both end up in hawaii right next to eachother at the same time?? thats freaky universe stuff right there idc. hes going to lmu next year which im excited about but not too excited lol we know what happened with instagram matt last year when i got too hyped. so im just keeping this one as a friend.he even called it a “perfect start to a magical friendship” lmaooo. ok but the tea is that ive been saying to katherine that i wanna be friends with him at lmu. so at least were on the same page about (even though he beat me to it the little bitch haha). it was fun though hanging out with him. i mean it took me getting caught sneaking out and getting yelled at and having my sister and my mom guard the door at night and curfews but hey i got to spend a few hours with him and it was so easy. hes cute too. not that great of a nose but i actually dont even care. great eyes. and hes funny. i just feel like its always awkward with guys like occidental matt where i can barely stand the awkward tension between us. occidental matt is perfect for me looks wise but when i take that away im annoyed by him haha. he isnt funny (or at least my kind of funny.. which by the way is hilarious like if u dont think im funny then ur stupid sorry) and hes boooorriiingggg. and possesive. and moody. blah blah blah i dont need that in my life. i want someone im excited to see. it sucks though cuz im really just not talking to anyone rn. i realized that i just go from one “online boyfriend” to the next because im nervous to not be talking to someone. but thats so weakkk like thats not how i need to live. im choosing to live my own life and love my own self and take care of my self before searching the fake internent for my soul mate. this years about me. about what i can do without drugs and in good health. im determined, and im ready. hahaha okdramatic im always ending these like this. OH WAIT. scatterbrain alert bitch i didnt even finish what happened with chris and his friends. ok so i met him in the lobby and we hugged. we immediatly started talking wiht no awkwardness. he did stumble on his words though at first. i thought it was cute. then we went upand i said hi to his friends and we made cookies with the oreos in the middle and listened to mama mia (gayyyy) and took fireball shots and i drank BEER LOL. then we took the beers on the beach and i bummed a cigarrete off of some rich drunk white ladies. chris said i was smooth. i felt powerful with him,like my full smooth self. likei was light on my feet or something. then we sat at a bench and the softest orange cat walked over to me from far away and let me pet her. ok dont laugh but i really think that was the universe that sent that cat to remind me thats what brought me to that moment. it was like a hello. i just got the chills thinking about that haha im so dramaticcc. then this blonde drunk girl came up to us and we immediatly connected on a spiritual level. she gave me her purple and white lei and she talked about how she couldnt handle her family anymore,but she loves them. then my mom had to pick me up and i said bye to everyone. i guess she smoked chris and his friends out later that night which is so chill haha if only i still smoked weed. i cant beleive that was my life for more than a year. so weird. stoner trevor what a phaseee.

well thats all i got tonight. this was such a scatterbrained shit post but now at least i dont have to worry about forgetting any of this. goodnight future trevor.

[pineappuu-pineappley]

women question thingy cuz im bored

GENERAL WOMANHOOD: 1. Do you like the color pink? nnnot really? pastel pink is kinda cool i guess 2. Did you play with Barbie dolls as a child? ye 3. How easily do you cry? not very? but more so now than before 4. What food do you eat the most of when you’re sad? i eat whatever tbh i dont sad eat? 5. How often do you experience boob sweat? whenever i sweat zz 6. How moody are you when you are you are on your period? doesnt really matter? idk 7. Have you ever thought you were pregnant because your period was late? binch i dont even get a text back i cant have sex HAHAHA 8. Have you ever been on the pill? no, but like my periods are so fucking bizarre so idk but ??? 9. Would you ever want to have children someday? tbh idk i guess but im still too young to decide lol 10. Have you ever given birth? If not, would you ever want to? no, and idk yet :v 11. How good of a cook do you consider yourself? a little above average because i just throw food in without recipes and stuff but my mother is a wizard 12. What is your favorite thing to cook? egg.. ngl its just crack dat bitch and cook it its easy af HAHA  13. Can you sew? ye i guess but not actual clothes 14. Do you consider yourself a feminist? i think so, but like i’m not “active” and also wtf is wrong with “feminists” that want death to men like seriously you’re also part of the problem yall crazy 15. How do you define “girl power?” power specifically for girls, may it be over their body or themselves?? 16. Have you ever wished you were born a male? a little but only cuz that one time i think i was gay for a friend and it would be much easier to come to terms with it, speaking of which i dont even know my sexuality but i dont really care LOL 17. Breastfeeding or formula? breastfeeding  18. What is your opinion of equal pay? its important!! but then if we’re not looking at gender its unfair if someone who does jackshit gets the same pay as someone working their literal ass off. instead of adjusting based on gender why not adjust it based on work done? if you slack off u get a pay cut if u work hard you get a raise? 19. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? ah shit uh, i think i’m both??? (that makes no sense) like i know i have no right to force someone to do something but at least maybe i’d like to talk to them about it? a life is a life /shrugs/ but ultimately it is not my choice to make if it’s not my situation, all i can do is to maybe let someone understand the morality behind say abortion. HOWEVER!!! i think birth control for period management because of certain conditions is good and this shouldn’t be taken away from people who need it!! I’m just so !!! at women getting refused treatment for a spontaneous abortion or whatever because its an abortion, but the body rejected the foetus all on its own!! she has a right to healthcare!! (i saw this on a documentary on abortion in the ph iirc and like refusing someone treatment because its not moral to “fully abort” a foetus, even though it’s already aborted by the BODY ITSELF and not by other MEANS is literally not caring for the person who needs the HELP?!?!!?? its more immoral to refuse healthcare to her than to give her healthcare to abort the foetus because the body aborted it by itself it is spontaneous sometimes it happens okay?????) 20. Have you ever experienced any sexism? If so, please explain. i dont think so tbh 21. What is one thing about women you think most men don’t know? not everyone wants your dick in their vagina shut the fuck up HAHA 22. Complete this phrase: I’m so glad I’m a woman because______. i’m not burdened by society rules about hugging my friends and make up? i have no idea tbh i’m just eh about everything am i even a woman HAHAHA

LIFE EXPERIENCES: 23. Have you ever been a Girl Scout? no 24. Have you ever been a ballerina? noo 25. Have you ever been a cheerleader? no 26. Were you ever voted as a homecoming or prom queen? can we eat prom? 27. Have you ever hosted a sleepover? yeah i guess but its just because my friends dont wanna walk one block home its great HAHA 28. Do you belong to a sorority? we dont have those things in here 29. Have you ever kept a diary or a journal? i used to keep a diary when i was a kid now i just want a bujo but where s my shit 30. American ladies: did you vote for Hillary Clinton? not american PHYSICAL APPEARANCE: 31. What is the longest your hair has ever been? a v-cut where the longest was at my asscrack 32. Have you ever cut your hair super short? shaved it for hair for hope uvu 33. What hairstyle do you wear the most? either down with a side parting or up/half-up in a hairstick, at home just an ugly ass bun. like my hair is nice but the style is meh 34. Have you ever dyed your hair? no, im afraid of spoiling it 35. What is the heaviest you have ever weighed? now im always heavy lmao  36. How muscular are you? i have some muscle in my calves and the top of my arms but im 90% fat so 37. Are your ears pierced? one on each lobe 38. Do you have any piercings anywhere besides your ears? nah 39. Do you have any tattoos? If so, of what and where? noo 40. How often do you wear lipstick or lipgloss? almost never, if i wear makeup i still forget about it LOL 41. How often do you paint your nails? rarely 42. Have you ever worn any fake eyelashes or fake nails? yes at both but fake nails dont survive  43. How often do you shave/wax your legs? i never did  44. How white are your teeth? eh not very but its not stained v badly i guess 45. What do you think is your best physical feature? my softness? 46. What do you think is your worst physical feature? fats HAHA 47. Do you have a “look” (i.e. a mad/annoyed/upset stare)? blur face 48. How good are you at communicating through facial expressions? i dont i just make potato faces FASHION STYLE: 49. What is your favorite fashion brand? prolly iora or lalu or something i think they have korean-ish/school-girl ish aesthetic  50. Do you wear skirts and dresses at all? If so, how often? ye, not v often because school is anal about it :) 51. What is your dress size? dunno but i think im like a L-XL depending on cut? 52. Do you wear any high heels or stilettos at all? If so, how often? no, dont own any 53. Have you ever worn high heels casually? no? not really nah 54. How often do you wear a bra? only in public or when non-family members are in the house 55. Does it matter if your bra and panties match or not? i alternate between only 2 bras i dont care 56. Which are you more likely to go without: a bra or panties? i forgot to wear a bra like 3 times in my life two of which i already had noticecable boobs 57. How much of your underwear is white? i have a few now? 58. Have you ever worn a skirt or a dress without any panties underneath? yo wtf dont get ur vag juices everywhere omg also everything is dirty dont do that 59. What is the shortest length of skirts and dresses you are comfortable wearing? if i fold the butt part to wrap my butt and it manages to cover my entire butt i guess but only if i have safety shorts 60. How expensive was your prom dress? shit idr 61. What clothing item do you own the most of (if shirts, be specific to what kind)? t-shirts (but not anymore-) 62. How much jewelry do you typically wear? a pair of earrings, used to have a necklace but i havent got a new chain yet 63. How much makeup do you typically wear? either full face or none, twice before concealer + eyeliner thats it 64. Do you like eyeshadow? THAT SHITE BOMB 65. Do you carry a purse? i prefer a bigger bag because i bring way too much shit 66. What is your preferred way to carry a purse: In your hand, on your elbow, or on your elbow? slung on my shoulder 67. How big is your closet? not very 68. Have you ever looked through your closet an thought “I have nothing to wear”? YES WTF BC I LOOK LIKE A HOBO (also i literally keep running out of shirts nowadays) 69. Have you ever worn the same outfit more than once? ya what do u think i am a diva? HAHA 70. One-piece swimsuits or bikinis? t-shirt and shorts 71. Have you ever worn a mismatched bikini? i never put my body into a bikini 72. Do you like tube and halter tops fat arms man :v 73. Do you like crop tops? they look aesthetic af but just not on me HAHAHAH 74. Are you comfortable showing off a little cleavage? ye i guess WEDDING CRAZE: 75. Have you ever been a bridesmaid? no but i’ve been flower girl multiple times 76. Would you ever want to get married? i guess 77. For how long have you thought about your wedding? i dont even have a crush rn so i never even thought of it 78. How much of your wedding do you already have planned out? -100% 79. Indoor or outdoor wedding? church wedding preferable in an airconditioned one imean- HAHAHA 80. Would you want to have a lot of bridesmaids or just a couple? i dont have a lot of friends DATING & RELATIONSHIPS: 81. What is your current relationship status? single as a pringle never gonna mingle 82. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic? no 83. Are you a virgin? If not, which gender did you lose your virginity to? yes 84. What personality trait are you most attracted to? shit uh, (judging on my 2d biases) cheerful puppy type? 85. Have you ever been on a blind date? no 86. Has anyone ever tried to set you up on a date? noo 87. Do you kiss on a first date? no  88. How often do guys hit on you? never HAHA 89. Have you ever kissed another woman? If so, did you like it? shIt ya and ya, go away 90. Have you ever dated another woman? i almost did? 91. Is sex before marriage wrong? IT’S AGAINST THE MORAL ORDER!!! according to my religion but also even if it’s not religion its good to only give yourself to another after marriage uvu. but idk 92. After how long would you start to consider a relationship to be serious? i dont know maybe a year? LOL idek if someone can stand being with my after 2 weeks 93. Would you rather your lover give you chocolate or flowers? steak.. or like meat or like good food ENTERTAINMENT: 94. What celebrity do you most admire? i dont- know-? 95. Do you like romantic comedies? Any favorites? eh dont think so 96. Do you have a favorite romantic movie? no 97. Who is your favorite Disney princess? mulan? MERIDA? idk 98. What is your favorite Disney song? shit idk 99. Do you watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette? whats that 100. Have you ever watched Sex & The City? no 101. Have you ever watched any shows such as Project Runway or America’s Next Top Model? yeah but like random episodes on the tv with my mom, i rather watch masterchef junior but not with the newer seasons cuz my bro said the way they made it is like poo 102. Do you read romantic novels? If so, do you have any recommendations? im like -100% romantic please stop 103. Beyonce or Taylor Swift? beyonce maybe 104. Oprah Winfrey or Ellen DeGeneres? ellen? idk  A PILE OF RANDOMNESS: 105. Are you named after anyone? Dionne Warwick (not celine dion stop this shit i will fight you) 106. How many male friends do you have? nnnot many? i’m close to steffy tho yes bless uvu  107. Have you ever called your female friends your girlfriends? i can barely type “i love you” i cannot with cheesy shit so hazukashit 108. Have you ever called a non-lover a term such as honey, dear, babe, or darling? ye i call friendos bebe or something but only through text because im shy LOL 109. Have you ever dotted your I’s with a heart or a smiley face? hearts, i stopped bc a teacher was like “lol” in front of the entire class thanks 110. How many items do you own that are of a floral print design? idk but floral prints are nice 111. Name five things you always have in your purse. (not including phone and wallet) lipbalm (that i never use), axe oil (running out), vicks, tigerbalm (why do i have 2), blotting paper (also dont really use) 112. Have you ever lost anything inside your purse? my sanity jk idk 113. Have you ever carried a spare pair of underwear with you in your purse? only pads 114. What is the most amount of money you’ve ever spent in one single shopping trip? idk $60 maybe idk weep i spend it all online 115. Do you consider shopping a sport? no wtf but walking around a lot is a pain so i guess it could be 116. Have you ever used your cleavage or a bra as a purse? i use a bad stop with the purse i carry too much shit 117. Coffee or tea? tea 118. Can you do the splits? i will only split my pants and muscles open so no 119. Do you do any yoga? no 120. Have you ever been told that to have cute handwriting? yea but i think it’s messy and ugly and changes too often 121. How well can you write in cursive? look at 120 122. Have you ever successfully been on a diet? no fuck that 123. Do you or have you ever belonged to a book club? no 124. Have you ever talked yourself out of a driving ticket by using your looks? no lmao i dont even drive 125. Have you ever drank a non-alcoholic beverage out of a wine glass? i guess? 126. Showers or baths? showers 127. Have you ever tried using a toilet while standing up? ya its horrible because u dont have a dick to aim 128. Have you ever been considered the mother of your group of friends? ye actually- 129. Do you own any sex toys? no HAHA RATINGS: 130. From 1-10, how feminine do you consider yourself? 6? 131. From 1-10, how much are you like your mother? 7-8 132. From 1-10, how much do you look like your mother? 5 because i smile like her but a lot of people say i look like my dad 133. From 1-10, how much are you like your father? 3 he’s chill im not 134. From 1-10, how polite are you? depends but maybe 7 135. From 1-10, how cute do you consider your laugh? -11 136. From 1-10, how strict are you about manners? 5? 137. From 1-10, how much of a neat freak are you? 6 but my handwriting is shit 138. From 1-10, how much of a hopeless romantic are you? -11 139. From 1- 10, how healthy do you eat? 6? its Meat > veggies > fish (but cuz i dont like how fish is cooked here? i love meat but i need veg to live too but i dont like salads give me roasted veg or stir fry veg or veg soops uvu) 140. From 1-10, how much do you like decorating for holidays?  4?