#dont cut my sandwich at all

[nyquiltoyrifleheadphones]

My profile picture is to remind y'all that a triangle is half a rectangle and not how u should cut my sandwich

[themyscirah]

Some portrait doodles I did during my flight today

[wishchthumblr]

on todays episode of "mental health issues that could easily be solved by one single thing that i dont have", GET A MICROWAVE!!!

i just know SO many of my eating related issues (not all obviously but a LOT of them) would be solved if this house just had a goddamn microwave

today i ate like... 1/4th of those small frozen pizzas, 1/3rd of a grilled cheese, and 1/3rd bowl of macaroni and meatballs. and yall wanna know why i didnt eat the whole thing of any of them? its cause my stupid adhd ass took too long to eat and the food got cold. and then i Cannot Eat That anymore. so even though i was still hungry i didnt eat the rest of it and just went back to rotting on youtube shorts and being too hungry to do anything and feeling dumb and unproductive and being guilty of making food that i dont eat. just... feeling like a big ol' waste

but the thing is, if i just

✨owned a microwave✨

i could just reheat the motherfucking food and still eat it and not feel like ive wasted that food. ((because since that food is wasted i feel guilty about making it, so i dont make any more food until next meal time, but then i didnt finish that either cause im stupid and eat too slow.))

but we dont have a microwave. only an oven. and yeah maybe i couldve reheated the 3/4th pizza or the grilled cheese in the oven, but then again the oven uses a lot of electricity. and my mom is always complaining that i turn the oven on, forget that its on for a while, and that im wasting electricity. and i was too tired and hungry to deal with that possibility. plus with the oven theres a chance i forget it too long or have it too hot and burn the food and that would just make me feel worse

but we dont have a microwave, because my mom thinks having a microwave leads to "eating more unhealthy foods that you just heat up" instead of "real food". so i didnt reheat any of my food. so i didnt eat it. it got to the point where it got cold and gross so i just threw it in the trash and hope my mom or grandma doesnt notice.

but if i had a microwave, i couldve reheated that food. and i couldve eaten it. ((and yeah, maybe i wouldnt have ate the whole thing, but maybe half at least? that counts right? well it dont really matter if it counts or not cause it didnt happen.))

and then maybe i wouldnt have been feeling like im gonna faint the whole day and maybe i wouldve gotten literally anything done instead of just scrolling on pinterest and youtube shorts for hours and feeling worthless. and maybe if i ate i wouldnt have hurt myself today

but nope. no microwave. it leads to "unhealthy" habits. i guess not eating enough to count as even ONE full meal is healthier since its not "microwave food"

thanks mom

[studiousbotanist]

shaking hands w my defense systems and attempting to come to an agreement that the guy at work that doesn't listen when I ask him not to do something ISNT an ultimate evil he's just overly helpful and Hates standing still and to come up w compromises . instead of snapping at him

[snekdood]

idk what non-beef eater needs to hear this but bread co/panera has changed their chilli to a different one that has beef in it... for god knows what fucking reason.

[spamalie]

The rr/b's resurrected designs are a step above the original in almost every aspect except i wish brlck got to keep his bangs . Bald as hell under there

[fruitsyrups]

how it started and how it's going or whatever. they still dont have names by the way but they are a little comfort to me. they just chill out and live life boring style and stuff. exactly what i aspire to

blorbos from my brain... coworkers to roommates to freak weirdo besties or something like that, i dont know. they dont even have names yet 🐱

[leog4u]

My fav algerian recipes

wrote this out for a friend but i figured i'd share here.

The best part about algerian cuisine is its all very common stuff, and easy to make. Garlic, onions, beef, garlic, cumin, tomatoes. That's most of the dishes. The one thing you'll need is harissa, which is sold in more and more supermarkets, and easily available online. You can make your own, but most algerians just get the yellow tube lol.

M'thewem - A chickpea and meatball stew with very little "broth", served with bread you dip and grab with. very filling, freezes and keeps well. You brown lamb neck or shank or whatever is cheapest, and the meatballs are just your average ground beef, but seasoned with Stuff. the video has a diced red onion, but i prefer yellow/white https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1V5xgnQRmzg

"Omlette" - It's actually just spanish tortilla, but we have that. here's a vid, literally all you need is potatoes and eggs, but goes great with bread. One of the best parts of it is again, it's very easy and Incredibly filling, and easily feeds a crowd! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPYk9W9v-bI

Shakshuka - a pepper, tomato, and harissa dish that's very basil forward. its really good and very different then the recipe all the white youtubers keep doing thats based on the moracan version. this vid is close to what I do, but you can include small pieces of potato and a Lot of basil. You can expedite the process by just cutting up your veg and potato and cooking them down on the frying pan, adding water so they dont burn. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJuyS_tyz_M

Merguez - SO I...dont know if you should make merguez from scratch cause it's expensive. i dont even make it. on top of spices you need harissa, but the price comes in from Needing fatty lamb/mutton and beef. It's unfortunately non negotiable, using anything else is like giving somebody a steakhouse burger recipe and they sub with 99% lean turkey. unfortunately it's my favorite thing on planet earth. serious eats has a recipe thats close to what i think is ideal https://www.seriouseats.com/homemade-merguez-sausage-recipe

None of the supermarket pre-packed brands do it justice, go to a butcher and hope they have it. I've noticed it's been getting more and more popular, so if you live in a metro area, try and find it.

merguez is like, the greatest thing ever. its great with eggs, it's great with salad, but the best, and most Most Primo Mmm-mm! way to eat merguez is in a hoagie roll with french fries and more harisa as a sandwich. A seasoned salad of diced cucumber, tomato, red onion, and olive oil goes excellent with it.

[freshlove-sturn]

house on the cape.

pt 1 pt2

based on last friday’s video bc im obsessed with it. (events that happened in the vlog may not be in order just so the story flows how i want, also might add or get rid of some things for that same reason ofc). definitely gonna be multiple parts if yall like it so please let me know!!

summary: when the triplets come back home from la, they reunite with their favorite summer tradition, staying in the house on the cape. amidst all of the familiar laughter, and reminiscing on old memories, y/n can’t ignore the feeling stirring in her heart. something that went deeper than friendship. as she grapples with the fact that her feelings for her lifelong best friend, matt, are more than what’s just at the surface, she must learn to navigate and balance the unspoken feelings, and the gut wrenching fear of risking it all.

a/n: sorry guys but i think im scrapping all my old fics. i just have lost interest in them and i dont want to give yall something that i just half assed yk. i just need something new 😖🙏 don’t hate me pls. also i didn’t proof read and i never do so hopefully this all makes sense LMAO

……………………..

“BOYS TRIP!” chris shouts through the house.

the triplets are back in boston from being in la. i’d be lying if i said that i didn’t wish that these visits would last forever. being across the country from my best friends sucked.

“oh yeah , and you’ll be there too. you’re one of the boys.” chris points at me, smiling before loading the car with our bags.

“chris please never say that again.” i cringe, but fail to keep in my laughter.

“i agree. that was disgusting.” nick chimes in.

“just wanted to make sure you know you’re included.” chris throws his hands up in defense.

“thanks.” i smile and shake my head before getting in the car.

we were staying at their house in cape cod, something all of us looked forward to each summer growing up.

we arrive at nate’s house to pick him up. after the group effort of showering him in compliments for his new hair cut, we get back in the car.

sandwiched between nick and nathan, i check the time on my phone. nick grabs my wrist and moves it out of the way to give himself a better view of my lock screen.

“that is such a cute picture.” he says admiringly. it was a picture of matt and i. the picture was taken from behind while matt gave a piggy back ride back to the car because my feet hurt from wearing heels to madison’s concert.

“you took it.” i laugh.

“i know. i really out did myself huh.” he hypes himself up. i smile and roll my eyes.

once we get to the cape house, we unload the car. all of our bags scattered haphazardly throughout our respective rooms. the same rooms each of us have stayed in for years. nate with chris, nick with matt, and me, having been the only girl, with my own room.

“let’s go to the beach!” nate walks out into the kitchen, clapping his hands together.

…

the beach was just within walking distance. matt and i fell behind the rest of the group.

“i’m so glad you’re back.” i tell him.

“me too. i missed you.” he replies.

“i missed you too.” i admit. “a lot.” i look up and meet his eyes. we just stare at each other for a second. we didn’t really need to say anything. it was almost just a mutual understanding that each other were our favorite person.

if only he knew the extent.

the only person i’ve confided in about my feelings for matt was nate. which was precisely why he kept shooting me knowing glances anytime matt and interacted. nate swore that he knew i was in love with matt for years, before i even knew myself.

i can’t exactly pinpoint when i fell in love with my best friend, but i do remember when i realized.

flashback

matt and i sit together in the hammock string between two large oak trees in the backyard of the cape house. the gentle breeze swaying us back and forth softly. the sun was going down just to the right of us. beautiful pink and orange hues paint the sky.

“i could stay right here forever.” matt breaks the silence that had fallen between us.

“me too.” i reply softly.

“oh hey i have something for you” he digs his hand around in his pocket and pulls out a baby pink seashell. he hands it it me.

“i’ve never seen a pink one like that before.” he tells me as i admire the gift.

“me either. i love it. thanks matt.” i smile sweetly at him.

“of course.” he returns the smile.

i feel the heartbeat in my chest racing and my cheeks heating up. the feeling i had been carrying around with me for quite some time became abundantly clear.

i was in love with my best friend.

when i got home that night, i tied a string around the shell, and wore it as a necklace. and i haven’t taken it off since.

end of flashback

that was back when we were 16. 4 whole years i’ve gone hiding my biggest secret from the one person i told everything to.

our gaze was interrupted by chris. “jesus, yall are some slow pokes” he hollers back at us.

we both laugh and pick up out pace.

soon we arrive at the beach. i’ve always loved the beach. it truly is my happy place.

especially when i’m with matt.

nick snaps pictures here and there.

“oh my gosh matt look! this is just like your tattoo!” i hold out a shell to him.

“oh shit you’re right.” he holds out his arm, revealing his tattoo.

“that’s sick.” chris admires the similarity while nick takes a picture.

…

later that night, we all sit in the living room debating on what movie to watch.

“chris im not watching planet of the apes again. we’ve watched it like 9 times already.” nick argues, shutting down chris’s pleads.

“how about grown ups?” matt suggests.

“yes i love that movie.” nate agrees.

“that’s fine with me.” nick shrugs and starts typing it in.

“is that good with you?” matt leans down to where i was sitting in front of him, his voice soft and genuine.

“yeah that’s good with me.” i tell him.

he smiles and pats the spot on the couch next to him, gesturing me to come sit up there with him. i stand up from my spot on the floor and sit down next to him. he drapes a blanket over the both of us.

about an hour or so into the movie, my eyes get heavy. i lean my head on matt’s shoulder, to which he responds with wrapping his arm around me. this was nothing out of the ordinary. there’s pictures going back to when we were in preschool of the two of us practically fused together passed out on the living room floor.

suddenly, a gentle shake of my shoulders woke me up from a sleep i hadn’t even known i fell into. my eyes flutter, slowly regaining focus. when they do, i’m met with matt’s gentle blue eyes.

“hey, you wanna go lay down in your bed? i don’t want your neck to be sore.” he asks, genuinely concerned for my comfort.

i look around, everyone else appeared to have gone into their rooms.

“yeah i probably should.” i say through a yawn.

matt grabs my hand and helps me stand up from the couch. we walk down the hallway. my room came before his and nicks.

“goodnight matt.” i say, slowly turning the doorknob.

“goodnight y/n. see ya in the morning.”

i toss and turn in bed, unable to fall asleep. i stand up from bed, and leave my room. slowly making my way to the kitchen to get a drink, careful to not wake anyone up.

i open the fridge and grab a water. before i can take a sip, i hear a familiar voice behind me.

“can’t sleep?” the sudden breach of silence made me jump a little. i turn around and see matt. he was leaned up against the door frame. his sweatpants falling dangerously low on his figure, his arm under his shirt itching his shoulder, exposing his midriff.

“nope. you?” i set my water down on the counter.

“hm mm” he replies.

we stand in silence for a few moments before matt breaks the silence again.

“wanna go to the beach?”

….

a/n: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LMK IF YALL LIKE THIS. SUGGESTIONS ALWAYS WELCOME AND MY INBOX IS ALWAYS OPEN 🙏 i’m using my old taglist, so lmk if you want taken off or added to it!

taglist: @honestlybabymiracle @pepsiimaxx @creamoncreamoncream2 @mattestrella @luvmxtt @rac00ns-are-c00l4

[kiwi]

I love Joe Cool Cat!! Question: did you use a particular pattern as a base or follow any specific set of design principles?

omg thank you for letting me talk abt puppets, i have been rabid

i followed this video to make the head shape and mouthplate (joe cool cats head is just flatter than the example, and i shaved down the jaw mouthplate a bit so that he has sort of an overbite, which left room for me to add fangs)

for the rest i winged it! its all stuff i found around the house so some of the materials arent ideal. the skin is felt which doesnt move well and makes him kinda stiff, so next time i definitely want to try fleece or fake fur

however the felt worked really well for the hands! its two flat hand shapes sandwiched together with a wire skeleton in between so theyre posable, like kermit the frog's. if you plan to make posable fingers though you should really use armature wire instead of random wire lying around like i did :( one of his fingers is broken already but it had a great grip before it busted. his other hand isnt attached to his vest at all, the fingers are just strong enough to hold it on his own! this leaves space for movement as the middle of his arm flaps around and makes him more lifelike

his body is just a simple rectangle of fabric made into a tube (like the sleeve of a shirt) and his arms are attached by safety pins so that they can be removed and replaced. the pins are hidden by his vest, which is also detached so that it can move naturally and allow for repairs. i learned that by looking at the notes from the jim henson team on display at the puppet museum in atlanta! :•) definitely a must visit if youre able

design wise, hes based on the vibes of the band The Stray Cats, especially their songs Stray Cat Strut and Nine Lives. id like to add more patches and buttons on his vest (the little pin he's wearing is made by covering a sewing button with fabric). the vest itself is a single piece with holes cut out for the arms because i was not about to follow a clothing pattern

things i would replace or do differently next time:

- more flexible fabric on the head. stiff felt doesnt work well!

- use stronger wire specifically meant for posing in the hands

- make the arms a little shorter and attach the pole by the wrist instead of the elbow. i wanted him to be kinda long and skinny but overdid it, and i thought i was clever by making the stick come out of his elbow. his movements look cool but hes tricky to maneuver, especially when trying to raise his hand to his face (arms too long and the stick often gets in the actual puppeteer's way)

- try using a little less hot glue and a little more sewing for ease of movement and repair

anyway yeah ive been super into learning about this stuff lately and im working on a blinking puppet next! i might be doing a small puppet show next month if i finish the other members in joe cool cat's band. if anybody has questions or wants to talk puppets dont be shy pls! im already talking my roommates ears off about it lol

[nights-at-crystarium]

HI. so. im going to dump a load of thoughts about this illustration on tumblr instead of bluesky because i have so many thoughts about this so please bear with me (feel free to post this if u want!)

like. one of my favourite soulcrushing parts of shadowbringers grahas characterisation is ironically: how hes portrayed in post shadowbringers - a free spirit with a thirst for adventure

its so clear therefore, from how he composes himself after hes been freed from his duties at the first that he wants to see the world. reclaim the joy that he abandoned to save a world. finally live after spending thousands of years as a dead man walking. a ghost in the shell

but in shadowbringers, that graha, the adventure-loving graha, is killed. stuck at the top of the crystal tower, forever unmoving. he didnt necessarily get cut and paste into his new body, he creates a second entity with all his memories and identity.

so THIS graha, the one with the crystal arm stays dead. his story has no happy end. and i LOVE how uve specifically placed focus on his crystal arm and intentionally saturated the blue. hes transparent. fragile. ephemeral. hes a dead man walking, half tower-half man. his state is unstable, like glass, the tower slowly creeping through every part of him until hes subsumed into it. theres such a specific sense of beautiful body horror that i think your illustration plays into and highlights. the red - his signature colour is slowly being washed away with the tide of blue, like his whole self is slowly being washed away as his duties literally eat away at his life

and god. that expression. its a little unreadable - partly because hes trying to cover it up, but yet you can still SEE that quiet anguish and terror show through. hes simply too earnest. any hard face he tries to put up will fall away with time simply because not him, nor anyone, can bear the burden of a whole world.

and i know hes portrayed as happily self destructive throughout the msq, him literally concoting a brazen suicide plan to save the first and the warrior, yet we know that he is someone who appreciates life, living. he was literally able to convince an unfeeling robot that life has joy in it in endwalker, so i dont think its too much of a stretch to say that theres a part of him in shadowbringers that is intimately terrifed of his duty. the horrific trolley problem of your life against the star, where you pull the lever. and this terror is so nakedly presented in your illustration, the way he tries to hide away from it, but simply cant, the way that his stare seems both anxious, afraid, yet resigned, a grim awareness that this version of him, the one stuck in the first only has one destination: the end.

but he still fights! still tries to hide away from it, appreciate life every step along the way. gaze at the night sky that returns after eons. make his loved one some sandwiches. try to hide that gnawing inevitability of his fated death. the one that he physically cannot avoid. the one that he knows will shatter him, like a pane of glass hit by a hammer.

youve nailed almost every part of shadowbringers graha that made his story so fucking compelling!!!!! god!!!!!

i think everyone present here will enjoy reading this

[mrsarcherofinfamy]

●Drew Mcintyre x Reader●

Summary: You are the babysitter for Drew's two boys. What will happen when you babysit the boys on Valentines day?

________________________________________

*Y/N's POV*

I am standing in the kitchen making some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while the boys are sitting at the island coloring some pictures. I grab the dinosaur shaped sandwich cutter and cut the sandwiches for them. I grab some paper plates and put the sandwiches on them with a handful of some chips. I walk over to the island and set them down.

"What?! Dinosaur sandwiches?! These are the best! Thank you Y/N!"

"Thank you!"

"Of course boys. Whatcha drawing Oakley?"

I lean on the island looking over at him. Oakley is his youngest son who is 5 years old. Eli is his other son who is 8 years old. I have been their babysitter for a few months now and it is safe to say that I love it. Oakley picks up his picture showing it to me.

"Did you draw.... a tiger? Because they are your favorite animal?"

He giggles loudly causing me to laugh.

"Yes!"

"And what did you draw Eli?"

He picks up his picture showing it to me.

"Is that.... me?"

I put my hand on my chest smiling slightly. He smiles and shakes his head yes.

"Is it me and you?"

"No! It is you and my daddy."

"Oh. Why your daddy? And why the heart?"

"Because my daddy has a....."

"Hey boys!"

I jump looking over at the front door seeing Drew walking in.

"Daddy! Look what Y/N made us!"

He sets his stuff down on the floor and walks over in-between them. He looks at their sandwiches than at me.

"You made them dinosaur sandwiches?"

I giggle looking over at him.

"Yeah. I saw the cutter at the store and thought they would love them. I'll have to look for more."

"You dont have to do that."

"But I wanted to. Those are my boys."

He stares at me, jaw dropped a little. I giggle looking away from him. Eli taps his shoulder and Drew shakes his head looking over at Eli.

"What's up dude?"

"I drew this picture for you daddy."

He picks it up and hands it to Drew. He looks at it than at me and back at the picture.

"Did you draw you and Y/N?"

"Nope! That's you and Y/N. Ya know because of the big crush you have on her."

I giggle, putting my hand over my mouth looking away from them blushing. Drew's eyes go wide looking at Eli than at me. I look back at him smiling.

"Kids say the craziest things."

He grabs the picture from Eli, walks over grabbing his bags and walks back over to the island.

"I am going to put this picture in my room along with my bags. I will be back."

He quickly runs up the stairs and I look over at Eli and Oakley leaning on the island.

"So I will be back on Wednesday for Valentines day okay? Do you boys wanna make your daddy some cupcakes? Brownies? Cookies?"

"Can we do all of them?"

"Ya know what? We will."

"Yay!"

"It's a secret. You can't tell your daddy okay?"

"Pinky promise."

I smile and hold my pinkies out for them to pinky promise me. Drew comes down the stairs wearing a black tank top and basketball shorts. I look over at him and stand up.

"What are we pinky promising here?"

I put my finger on my lips telling the boys not to say anything. Oakley looks at Drew and does the same as me. Eli looks at Drew smiling.

"It's a secret daddy. We can't tell you."

"Oh yeah? Well I got a secret for you guys too."

I smile looking over at him. Drew looks over at me leaning on the island.

"Well guys. I am going to see you on Wednesday. I have to go home now."

I walk over, hugging Eli and Oakley before I grab my backpack heading towards the door.

"Bye Y/N!"

The boys yell before I walk out the door. Drew follows me outside leaving the door open just enough so he can hear the boys. He looks down at me smiling.

"Thank you so much for taking great care of my boys. It means a lot."

"It's no big deal. I love them. Even though Eli said your little secret out loud."

I poke his chest sticking my tongue out. He blushes looking down and I laugh at him.

"Yeah yeah. Now you know. Anyways, I will be seeing you on Wednesday right?"

"Yup. Same time as usual?"

"Yes ma'am!"

"Bye!"

I walk to my car, get in and look over at Drew on the porch watching me. I wave goodbye and leave.

_________________________________________

*Wednesday. Valentines Day*

I pull into the driveway seeing Drew playing on the trampoline with the boys. I get out grabbing the grocery bags out of my car and walking them to the front door. I turn around to walk back to the car and see Drew grabbing some bags out of the car. I walk back to my car grabbing the rest of the bags. We walk to the front door together.

"What are all these bags for?"

"Me and the boys secret surprise for you."

"Oh my gosh. You are to much."

I giggle and we take the bags in together putting them on the island. He pats my shoulders than runs back outside. I walk outside seeing him run back to the trampoline. I walk out, lean against the porch pole, watching them jump around and Drew does some wrestling moves on them. I sigh smiling a little than walk back into the house. I start putting all the ingredients and extras away when I hear the front door open.

"Y/N!"

Both the boys coming running over to me as I kneel down getting ready for them to hug me. They run into my arms and we hug for a little before they let go looking at me.

"Did you get the stuff for the surprise?"

"I did. I got a bunch of stuff. But your dad has to leave for us to start."

I look up at him and the boys turn looking at him as well.

"Go Daddy go! Don't you have a meeting to get to?"

Drew grabs his small bag, hugs the boys and smiles at me.

"I will be back in about 2 hours. See you than."

"Bye!"

He closes the door leaving and I am still kneeling on the ground looking at the boys. They turn back around looking at me.

"We better get baking before he comes back!"

I grab all the ingredients and stepstools for the boys to reach the counter. We start baking our cookies, brownies and cupcakes.

_________________________________________

*about 10pm*

I am sitting at the island playing on my phone when the front door opens. I look over seeing Drew coming in looking upset. He looks over at me.

"I'm so sorry I'm late."

"Shush. The boys are asleep."

I whisper to him and he walks over to the other side of the island looking at me.

"I'm sorry. The meeting went way longer than I thought it would. And I got the boys some presents afterwards."

He sets two Valentines gift bags on the island. I smile looking at him and he looks at me confused.

"Did you take a shower? Your hair is all wet."

"I did and the boys took a bath too. We had icing all over us."

I giggle and point to the ceiling. He looks up than looks back at me.

"How did you manage to get icing on the ceiling?"

"Well, we made you some cupcakes, cookies and brownies as a present. The boys wanted to put icing on the brownies so, I heated up the container a little. I took it out and put it on the counter to do it but, Eli grabbed it telling me he could do it. But the container was still hot and he dropped it....."

"And it exploded all over you and them?"

"It was everywhere. If you find icing in the kitchen somewhere, don't be surprised. Besides the ceiling."

"Well you guys had a tough night. But I know how to cheer you up. I got you a little surprise too."

"Oh you didn't have to."

He walks over to the front door, opens it and leans out grabbing something off the table on the porch. He walks back in with a big bouquet of flowers in a vase with a heart balloon tied to it. I gasp, cover my mouth with my hand and start tearing up.

He comes around the island next to me setting them down infront of me. Some tears roll down my cheeks as I look up at him. He wipes my tears away looking down at me and puts his hand on my cheek rubbing his thumb on it.

"Happy Valentines Day. I appreciate everything you do for me and the boys. Ever since you have came into our lives, me and the boys couldn't be happier. That's why I wanted to ask you....."

He grabs my hand looking into my eyes.

"Y/N.... will you be my girlfriend?"

I start tearing up some more looking up at him.

"Yes. Yes I will be."

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Oh my gosh. I didn't think that was going to work."

I giggle and look up at him standing up infront of him. He looks down at me putting his hands on my shoulders.

"You really wanna be with me?"

I roll my eyes giggling at him.

"Just shut up and kiss me you big stupid idiot."

He cups my face with his hands, leans down and kisses me very sweetly. I put my hands on his shoulders kissing him back. He pulls away not letting go of my face.

"You dont know how badly I've wanted to do that."

"Sure did take you long enough."

[kuni-is-daddy]

Hii!! Could u make a scaramouche x reader smut, but the reader has a breeding kink? i would love dom reader but its completely up to you 🤭

(i finally got the courage to ask...)

Bottom! Scaramouche X Top Female Reader

Ft: Degrading, bondage/cuffing, grinding, riding.

word count 1.2k

CW: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT PAST THE CUT! THIS IS A NSFW POST.

ScaraMasterlist | Subby cat scara | Sub wanderer

Scara coming out of the shower with his shorts halfway on and his hair still dripping wet with a towel wrapped around his hair. He walks into his room while you catch him off guard and pull him into a sloppy kiss against the wall. At first he's dismissive about it but when he realizes it's you, when he feels your cleavage against his chest. He couldnt help but moan as you sandwich his body against the wall and trail your hands down to his half put on boxers. "S-shit~ I see your eager arent you? Ive only been gone for a week and this is how you act?" he pulled the towel off his hair and tossed it onto the floor.

"Hah- Like a little pet. Couldnt wait for me to finish getting dressed?" you shake your head and sigh into his shoulder. "Want you so bad scara~ please, I want to make you feel good~" Scara smirked, then guided your hand on his stomach; Abs slightly defined on his flat stomach while he had plenty of scars and markings rubbing along your fingertips. "Hm- Then I should entertain you since you've begged so well." Your eyes filled with lust as he slowly descended your hand to his V line and giving you a peak at his hard length. "Give it to me...Show your master how good he should feel pet."

You spared no time bringing scara onto his bed. Quickly sitting ontop of him and against his clothed cock as he gasped at how aggressive you we're; How hungry he was to feel you. You grinded on his clothed length, slowly stripping off your oversized shirt with your bare chest on display. Scara looked aroused and intently at you, He didnt notice until now that you barely had anything on. Just one of his shirts and silky underwear he bought for you. Pale fingertips itched up to your hips, he Squeezed and rubbed your body in motion with your grinding. "Shit..Thats it pet, Dont stop. Love how much you want me~" He dug his free hand through his hair, pushing his bangs out the way to watch you speed up your pace. 'Fuck~ Wanna flip you over right now and cum inside you. Dont stop y/n, Dont stop..' In a daze scara began bucking his hips up down. You lost a bit of balance and leaned on his body for support. "Scara~" you teased, but your words went through one mechanical ear and out the other. "Does it feel good?" 'Ah~ You~ mnn~' Stuck in his trance all he could do was grab tighter on your hips. You pouted at the lack of attention and looked down onto his shorts. His boxers we're barely hiding his hard on through his pants and poked at your wet slit. 'Was he close?' you slowed down and he sucked his teeth in irritation, and you swore you saw his eyes glow. "Fuh-.. i- W-why'd you stop?!" He hissed. "Because scara~ I want it... here.." you pointed down to your stomach and He immediately blushed "O-oh?... Is that what you want, pet?" you pressed his hands over his head, leaning down to his face close enough your noses touched. You pecked his lips and pulled away from him then got off the bed, walking to your room. "I'll be quick okay~! keep your hands like that for me." 'over... my head?' he sucked his teeth and turned his head towards the ceiling, just wondering what you had planned for him.

Scara turned his attention back to the door over the faint sound of jingling. Watching as you emerged completely naked into the room with a pair of handcuffs around your finger. "Hah So you want to be cuffed up too, slut?" he chucked as you walked towards the headboard. "No scara, this is for you~"

In a matter of seconds scara's hands we're both restrained against the headboard. You climbed onto his body once more like a cat, Pulling down his pants to reveal his aching shaft. Scara tugged against the handcuffs as you moved closer to his erection leaking pre. He wanted to put you in your place so bad, how dare you starve him of his release then cuff him up as if he was the pet. You took a deep breath before sinking yourself onto his length, your walls squeezing against his thick cock. Your body shivered and he moaned in response. "Hah..mnh y/n, Your so warm- Oh god...yes~" you leaned your hands against his body for support. Slowly bouncing up and down "fuck~ ah...You want it that bad baby? Wanna be a- ah~ mommy?" he instinctively went to touch your hips but was jerked back by the cuffs. He tugged again then groaned. God it was too much, scara wanted to touch you so bad. You began panting heavily at his sudden submission. He could just break the handcuffs, couldn't he? you gripped tighter onto his sleeveless shirt as your pace grew messy to make sure he always hit your sweet spot. "mnh~ yes scara! I want it.. Want it so bad please, please inside~ ah! please!" your body bounced faster, sloshing up and down his length "ah~ mommy~ j-just like that~! im close~ S-so fucking close. im gonna~!" He bawled his hands in a fist-

Click!

sticking out his tongue slightly while he felt his orgasm wash over him. You quickly came after, coating him with your juices as his warm seed filled your pussy and clamped down on him.

You we're a bit exhausted and collapsed onto his chest, sliding off his cock while his seed gushed out and onto your folds. He let out a deep sigh after you pulled out and was oddly silent. "scara..I-mm!" Suddenly you felt his hot hand cover your mouth. Wait..Cover your mouth? Your heart skipped a beat and looked up at him. His eyes we're glowing, With a cocky smirk planted on his face. He couldnt take it anymore. The 'pathetic' little cuffs you put on him we're dangling; broken on the headboard. Before you could process it any further, the puppet flipped you over on the side of the bed on your back. He caged you under his own body and softly bit his lip at your now 'innocent' glare. "You call yourself wanting to please me but only for one round? How pathetic." He chuckled while you looked away flustered. He noticed your shyness and shifted his hand on your throat. "Your mine. Do you understand that pet? Dont you dare stop." He moved his hand off your throat while you choked for air "B-but scara- I already-c- AH!" You pleaded and he slapped your thigh, teasing you with a spark of electro. "Isnt that what you wanted? Wanted to be a mommy?" Your eyes widened a bit, And you drooled at his words. He made a thin smile at your reaction and took off his shirt. "Good pet..I let you have your fun..now your gonna take this like a good girl yeah?" He hoisted your legs over his shoulders and lined himself up, Slowly fisting his length again.

He couldnt wait to see you bare his children.

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

hiii hello idk if you take tmnt x reader requests (ignore this if you dont take requests) but like. can you make an 03 raphael x fem!reader ?? like something with love at first sight,, ykwim :3 something kinda similar to the '12 raph x reader thingie you posted??

Foot Ninjas and Sidewalk Beauties

2003!Raphael x reader

A/N: Sure I can❤️ My guess would be that this takes place around season one or season two, but that doesn’t matter that much.

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Warnings: Spelling, turtles getting their butts kicked, Raph falling in love at first sight❤️

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Last encounter with the Foot was, just say it mildly, an absolute failure. The turtles had gotten their butts kicked and then had the floors cleaned with it. None of them had been prepared for Shredder and his ninjas. It had been a surprise attack, or as Shredder had called it, a warning. And then he left, leaving the turtles injured and bedridden for a week.

Leonardo was not happy. Not happy at all. He immediately started blaming their loss on their lack of training, giving way for him to start a ned training schedule. And Raphael did not like it. It messed with his own training. His boxing that helped him blow off build up steam was now cut short, leaving Raph more agitated and angry. Not only did he not have time for his anger relieving boxing, but his knitting had also taken a back seat. So to say that Raph did not like it, may have been an understatement. Raphael hated it.

Raph especially hated it today, as he was stuck on a roof on a Friday night, continuously doing push ups for what felt like hours. Both Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo was getting tired, yet their older brother did not yield. He continued, telling them to do the same, to which they sighed and did. Expect Raph. His patients was growing dangerously thin, as Leonardo continued once more.

“If I have to do one more push up, oh high leader”, Raphael growled. “The Foot ain’t the only one that will feel the rage of me breaking their bones!”

“Considering how you got your ass severely whooped the last time, I would have to see it to believe it”, Mikey shot in, causing Raph to growl at him.

“Raph, you know very well that we have to be prepared”, Leo said, during yet another push up, making sure his brothers were following his lead. “The Foot have been quiet for a long time. They could make their next move at any time”.

“Leo’s right, Raph”, Donnie strained as he did another push up. “After what happened last time, we can not be too prepared”.

“Don’t even remind me of that”, Raph said. If his arms weren’t preoccupied in his forced push ups, he would be slamming his fist against the roof. “Those bozos almost broke my sai!”

“That’s why it’s important we up our training”, Leo said as he got down on his forearms. “Plank, now. First to give in takes five rounds”.

“That’s it!”, Raph rumbled, getting up from his push ups, his arms screaming in relief. “No more training! I have shit to do, Leo! All of us do!”

“Raph”, Leo said, getting up to stand, frustration visible on his face. Donnie and Mikey sighed, knowing what was coming. “It’s not up for discussion. We have to be ready for the next Foot attack, and at the moment, we aren’t”.

“Speak for yourself”, Raph growled. “I’m ready for anything! Bring those Foot scumbags, and I’ll give them a taste of my knuckle sandwich!”

And as if those had been magic words, part of a spell, a ninja star embedded itself into the rooftop, in the space between Raph’s feet. All four turtles looked up to find a small army of Foot ninjas, waiting on the tall building beside them.

“Oh, crud”, was all Raph got to say before the ninjas descended upon them.

Once again the brothers found themselves unprepared. Their muscles weak after the extensive training Leo had put them through that evening, they found it hard to keep up with the Foot. Leo was the only one that seemed to put up a fight, while Mikey and Donnie dodged every attack that came their way, too exhausted to do anything else. But Raph was not the time to dodge. With his frustrations flowing, Raph threw himself at the Foot ninjas. But with his body and mind tired, he was easily pushed back.

It didn’t take long before they had backed Raph up against the edge of the roof, with no obvious way out. Okay, maybe Leo hadn’t been so wrong after all. But it was still his fault that they even were on the rooftop in the first place!

Raph did all he could, but with every punch or push he was taking a step backwards, until his heels hit the edge of the roof, causing Raph to go off balance. He tumbled backwards off of the roof and down towards the street below. Even though Raph was tired, the sudden adrenaline from his fall caused him to think fast. He took his sais and slammed them into the side of the building, digging them into the bricks in one hard move.

Raph breathed a sigh of relief, looking down to the street below, in order to look for an easy way down. But what Raph saw was far from what he had expected. Hanging from the side of the building, Raphael never thought that anything would be able to take his mind of the situation he was in, but then he saw someone. You.

You were standing right below him on the sidewalk, in the light of the street lamp, phone in hand and headphones over your head. You cased glances down the street, as if you were waiting for something. Most likely a car.

Continuously looking between your phone and the street, you did not notice the mutant turtle hanging off of the side of the building behind you, his mouth agape as he stared at you. To say it straight forward, Raph thought you were absolutely beautiful. The profile of your face whenever you turned your head to the side, the way your hair fell down your back. The silhouet of your body and the shadow it cast on the ground below you. Raphael felt his heart beat hard in his chest. Never had he thought he would see anyone so beautiful. How could his dream girl be walking the streets of New York City, and be so much better than he ever dared imagine?

While Raph admired your beauty from afar, the car you had waited for drove up beside you. You greeted the driver with a smile, that almost made Raph loosen the grip on his sais. He watched you take off your headphones as you took a seat at the passenger side, before shutting the door behind you. Raph watched, with his heart beat so loud he wondered if you could hear it inside the car, as you and the driver drove away, disappearing down the street, leaving Raph behind with a feeling of longing. He already felt a need to see your face again. You’re pretty face, that he hadn’t had the chance to enjoy the sight of, to the fullest.

A sigh escaped Raph, in the form of a breath he did not know he was holding. He felt a tingling sensation in his stomach that made him feel happy. All the anger he had been feeling a few moments before, was gone, replaced by a feeling of joy.

“Raph!”, his big brother’s voice sounded from the roof above. "Where are you? We need some help here!”

“Coming!”, Raph yelled back, suddenly having the energy to propel himself back up to the roof, using this sai and his own strength.

As Raph jumped back into action, giving the Foot ninjas a long overdo round of a good beating, his mind kept wandering back to you, enjoying the energy the thought of you gave him. Maybe that day's training session hadn’t been so stupid after all.

[liver-f4ilure]

Recipes by Vivi: Payton Pumpkin Cupcakes

WELCOME! I lost the anon to this sadly but uhh I’m craving pumpkin pie rn so here. Inspired by: Payton Gendron!

-Ingredients-

2 cups flour (I use all purpose)

1/2 cup granulated sugar

2 TSP Baking powder

1 TSP Baking Soda

3/4 TSP salt

2 TSP Pumpkin pie spice (store bought OR make your own)

2 TSP ground ginger

1 TSP Cinnamon

1 can pumpkin purée

1 cup oil (vegetable or canola)

1 cup packed brown sugar

4 LARGE eggs

1 TBSP Vanilla extract

FROSTING!

2/3 cup softened unsalted butter

225g of room temp cream cheese

4 cups powdered sugar

1 TSP Vanilla extract

1/8 TSP salt

-Instructions-

1. Preheat your oven to 350°F. Line 2 muffin tin pans with cupcake liners (or grease well)

2. In a large bowl sift and mix the flour, granulated sugar and the rest of the dry ingredients BESIDES THE BROWN SUGAR!!

3. In a medium bowl whisk together the vanilla, eggs, pumpkin, brown sugar and oil until combined. Add the pumpkin mixture to the flour mixture and mix until fully incorporated.

4. Fill the muffin tins with about 1/4 cup of batter each. And bake for 20 minutes and until a toothpick comes out clean.

5. (ICING) in a stand mixer, beat the butter until creamy (about 1min) then add the cream cheese and beat until smooth. You may need to scrape off the sides of the bowl. Add in the vanilla and salt, mix on low. Then lastly slowly add in the powdered sugar on low and increase the speed to medium for about a minute til it’s fluffy!

6. Add the icing to a piping bag (or a plastic sandwich baggie and cut the corner off) and pipe onto the cupcakes once cooled

Enjoy!

—

My dumbass forgot how to spell his name

I DONT CNDONE

-Vivi

[roosterbruiser]

ok i just read your jake x reader get caught by their teenage son. and it had me thinking about their teenage son has friends over and one of them is clearly crushing on seresin son’s mom (aka reader). jake would be protective and youd tease him bc hes just a kid. and then your son would notice his friends constant looks at you and be like “if you dont stop that youre never coming over again” and jake would be all smug like “thats my boy” 💀

𝐀𝐭𝐭𝐚 𝐁𝐨𝐲

𝐚 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧

Jake is a wise enough man to know that you're the hot mom.

I mean, really, anyone should know just from looking at you.

But he especially knows because he's been your partner for a long time; he knows the kind of attention you get from both sexes, the kind of looks you never really see but he achingly does.

So he isn't surprised necessarily whenever August brings his friends over for a pool day and finds all of those pimple-faced boys practically drooling over you.

Not that they can help themselves really--they're jacked up on hormones and probably just discovered porn, like, recently.

Honestly, it's kind of endearing at first.

All the boys are stuttering out yes ma'am's and gaping at you and stealing long-lasting glances whenever they can.

Not that you even notice--no, you're just preoccupied trying to be a good host. You've done the whole mom-thing today by cutting up about a billion fruits, buying sub sandwiches for everyone, getting the bluetooth speaker out, setting out towels, the whole ordeal. It's important to you that all of August's friends feel comfortable in your home.

This surprises Jake because most of the boys haven't discovered the wonders of deodorant yet, but he understands that you're softer by nature.

Jake's right there next to you, making sure everything runs smoothly. But dammit if he finds himself unable to take his eyes off you, too--you look undeniably sexy today. You look sexy every single day, no matter the time (hence getting caught so early in the morning that one fateful day).

You're wearing a black one-piece, your most conservative swimsuit, that comes up high on the hips and kisses your curves just right. Your hair is in a clip and your cheeks are sun kissed and your chest is glowing with sunscreen--God, you just look effortlessly beautiful today.

Honestly, you look like you could be in a swimsuit catalog. Like one of the ones Jake would've stolen from his mother's bathroom when he was August's age. So he kind of gets the boggling.

It doesn't help that you're prancing all around, making sure there are enough napkins and running back into the house whenever you remember that you bought the makings for virgin margaritas.

He sees all the boys drooling over you when you sit on your knees at the edge of the pool and bend forward to dole out the glasses.

He also sees August punch a few of his friends arms with an incredulous look--one Jake found himself on the receiving end of not long ago.

The first time Jake steps in is when one of the boys, named something dumb like Braydenleigh or something like that, spills his drink all down your front. He frames it like an accident, his cheeks going bright red and his voice thin as he blurts apologies. But Jake saw it happen--he saw Braydenleigh nudge one of the other boys with a smirk, saw him get into position and let the glass slip out of his hands and all over your plush chest and lap as you sat on the edge of the pool.

You're too nice--you are forgiving him instantly, assuring him that the cool drink is honestly for the best since it's so hot! Plus you're wearing black, so no need to worry about a stain!

But you're running your fingers along your breasts now, your hands getting sticky with lime and salt, and instead of dirtying the pool water that your husband religiously tries to keep clean, you start to carefully lick your hands free of the margarita.

And every single boy in the pool is oggling, their eyes practically bulging out of their heads as they move to cross their hands over their crotches.

"Hey, baby, c'mere," Jake says as he approaches, discarding his shirt so the bird-chested boys can see what a real man's chest looks like. "Use this."

Jake hands you his shirt and you grin up at him, taking it softly and beginning to dab at your chest with it.

"Thanks, baby!"

"Why don't you boys run along and find a jet to hump or something?" Jake says to the boys, a grin plastered to his lips.

Then they're all blushing again, fleeing, as August snickers softly to himself.

But then Jake looks down at you and sees that you're gaping at him now, your eyes narrowed.

"What was that?" You hiss.

"What was what?" Jake says innocently, definitely not flexing his biceps as he stretches nonchalantly.

"Oh, I get it," you grin, holding your hips and letting his shirt sit in your lap. "You're jealous, huh?"

Jake scoffs. As if.

"Not jealous of a bunch of little boys," Jake says as he sits decide you, making sure your thighs are pressed together.

"Mmhmm, so I guess you took your shirt off because you're hot, then?"

Jake laughs, shrugging.

"My wife needed my help," he says. "I am a gentleman after all."

"Wow," you sigh, leaning on his shoulder. "If only there were some sort of item that could soak up liquids--you know, like a towel. And if only we were somewhere that have towels in abundance--you know, like a pool."

Jake just grins.

"Wishful thinking, sweetie."

And even though you don't really believe that the boys think you're hot and you're specifically looking away from them when you know that their glances have fallen on you once more, you love your husband for protecting you.

"Hey, uh, Mrs. Seresin?" One of the boys calls out as the other boys flock around him giggling.

"Yes, honey?" You ask sweetly.

August is staring at the boy from the other side of the pool, absolutely fed up with all of his friends antics today.

The boy clears his throat and gives you a nauseating grin.

"We have an odd number for chicken," he explains pathetically. "Wanna partner up and get on my shoulders?"

Before you can even respond, too shocked to do anything but laugh at first, August is trudging through the water to stand in between you and the boy. Jake has stiffened beside you, putting an arm around you protectively.

"Bro, if you don't stop coming onto my mom, then I'll be forced to tell everyone here that you wet the bed a couple weeks ago!" August says.

The boy goes absolutely pale as the rest of their friends break out in laughter.

Honestly, you want to reprimand him. He can be a brutal little thing, something he gets from his father, and you can't help but feel a little sorry for the little pervert that wets his bed.

But then August gestures to you and very fiercely says, "Apologize to her, bro. Now!"

And the boy meekly apologizes, barely able to meet your gaze. The other boys are hitting his arms now, unable to control their roaring laughter.

"I've told you before, Hayden," August says incredulously, crossing his arms and tutting. "You're never gonna get anywhere in life if you don't respect women."

And suddenly you've never been more proud of your little man. You've always known that he's got a good head on his shoulders. He's truly wise beyond his years, something he gets from you. And you know that you brought him up to respect women, especially with the aid of your husband who practically worships the dirt you walk on, but seeing it in action just makes your heart soar.

If you didn't know any better, you'd hop into the pool and kiss his sweet little face. But you know that would just take all the attention off Piss Pervert and you want him to burn a little bit.

"Atta boy," Jake whispers, choking on his own pride for your son.

"We should get him a dog or something," you whisper, smiling fondly at August as he initiates a group-wide game of Marco-Polo.

"A car, maybe?"

"Something," you whisper back to Jake, leaning on his shoulder. "He's a good boy."

"He's got a good mama," Jake whispers, squeezing your hip and pressing a chaste kiss to your hair. "Raised him right."

"Don't worry," you tease, "I'm sure there's still time to mess him up."

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if you liked this, consider checking out my Jake x You story!