#dont crush my dreams
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Things I'm looking forward to in the Lunar Chronicles animated Films:
All of the 'SHE'S MINE' Wolf memes that will inevitably happen.
In fact, I know the alpha thing will be meme'd to hell, and I'm so excited for that.
The fight scenes. I just love to imagine Cinder using her cybernetic limbs as weapons.
Cress' opera shower scene
Iko. That's all.
The CLOTHES. Fanart has set my expectations extremely high for the blend of traditional and futuristic clothing.
I'm so curious how they will present the lunar manipulation powers.
#also them aging up Cress or aging down Thorne#Please#This is me being optimistic and assuming there will be a series of movies#dont crush my dreams#lunar chronicles#the lunar chronicles#tlc cinder#i will wait fifteen thousand years if it means i get to see all of the books adapted for the screen#and i will wait ANOTHER FIFTEEN MILLION JUST TO SEE THE SCARLETXWOLF WEDDING
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something bad did indeed happen to that man. spent abt 25 minutes trying to find a better picture of that one (1) offical piece with his eyes open that wasnt compressed or tiny
#library of ruina#yan library of ruina#getting comfortable doodling some objects and mannequin shapes for very obvious reasons. i read the keypage story and now it has a grip on#my brain. wanting to go ahead and plan it out and then draw the mangled memory and nightmare that replays behind the eyelids in the darknes#it was cool to see the reason confirmed from my speculation. twas indeed another reason of blocking out present pain with closing of eyes#considering they made angela have a plot important reason for doing so it would only make sense for another to have a reason for it as well#well. after having a prominent part inside the thumb/index story line. its just going to be yapping about yan now i think#let me add a spoiler tag i suppose? vauge but just incase i dont want to be an asshole. even if most already have played rhe game#library of ruina spoilers#lor spoilers#i really liked the typewritter effect over the voice after distortion. especially so when the effect finishes before the actual garbled voi#does. it makes it feel as if it were being read out after it being written down rather than of own words or volition. along with the text#upon the screen during the fight being just prescripts rather than anything relating to the man himself like the other instances with such#text had been. paired w the name of distorted yan being untranslated to keep the intent of the name being unreadable or not understandable#more into the idea of stripping away of the self or any sense of a self. not personal and not even him anymore. the following of a goal for#the goal for it is given and there isnt any hope of having the ability to not do such a thing. people yearn for a reason and something to d#and for it to be given to them to not hold responsibility nor have to do their own choices anymore. once a crushing weight weighs down#inside the face of an absolute cruelty that is perpetuated and that crushed the dreams or even desires having them be but nothing how can#one move on? it was really nice to see at the end of the fight. its easier to just say such things than to actually do them. even if the ac#ions dont even feel as if they are ones own or that there isnt any say in the matter having to endure all the pain for seemingly nothing it#still is pain. that feeling inside is still real. it still happened. regardless of the circumstances that brought them about#the thumb/index or just fingers seem to be an exaggerated to the extreme showcase of how the colletivist mindset in an unhealthy manner#could be exhibited. the thumb with its hierarchy and absoluteness and the demand for respect along with its strict layers of showing who is#below and who is above. the ability to have power over those underneath . the participation inside of it and the already brought up yearnin#to be apart of a group and to have a title and position inside of a group and of power and even a desire like from pete to join one iirc#the index being of the cruel perpetuating cycle of pain people inflict upon one another a behavior beaten and upkept by the systems as they#drift and desire to live. which causes them to partcipate in that cycle out of necessity. cruel acts upon another in order to live and seei#a need to go ahead and do such things for if they dont they die and another will just do the same to them. social sciences talk and rolands#talks abt how the city opperates reinforce that fact. the index and prescripts are really just a show inside that extreme manner and in a#more literal sense of that. it was really cool to read it..
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Aurora finished the weekend with a whole pile of ribbons from the Alberta Kennel Classic!
Friday: Best of Breed, Best Puppy in Breed
Saturday: Best of Winners, Best Puppy in Breed, Reserve Winners Female (Specialty), Best Puppy in Breed (Specialty)
Sunday: Best of Winners, Best Puppy in Breed
She's currently sitting (pending CKC confirmation) at 9 championship points, so hopefully that last point doesn't elude us too much!
I'm super grateful to her handler who really presented her at her best and to all the judges that saw the potential in her 💜
#dogblr#rory borealis#show dog chronicles#it was a great weekend#im not sure when her next show will be#but this was beyond my wildest hopes and dreams#i dont think the specialty rwf is points in ckc#but ive heard it both ways so i need to wait for ckc to process results to find out for sure#im thinking not but its nbd im not greedy about it#that baby crushed it this weekend (and so did her handler)
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I think the craziest thing ive ever done is have crushes on analog horror characters. Uhm
#i used to have a crush on bon from the walten files right#i also used to crush on the intruder if youve seen mandela catalogue; which most have#i really cant explain that one tbh.#DO YALL KNOW DOGTOOTH AND ROOM FROM BOISVERTS CHANNEL#I KINDA STILL THINK THEYRE. LIKE. CUTE. LIKE. YK. 😞#i stopped trying to be interested in horror characters like that when i wanted to join self ship communities cause understandably people-#dont really get it but 😭#i need someone to match my freak with this so bad like pls get me pls understand 💔#OMG MR.KITTY FROM LEVEL 974 IN THE BACKROOMS 😭😭😭#if i need to ill just make a separate blog for this cause i might need to go back to my roots#might delete later#yvie-dreams-aloud-{🌬️}
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#talkys#honestly genuinely having the little hope i was granted Crushed is rly messing wit me 🫶#im pretty sure its not going to happen anymore#which was always possible but at least i had a Chance ykwim#its also my own fault for getting too hopeful but man i was already daydreaming about living peacefully.#having AC. being able to transition. being able to be Alone. finally being able to learn to cook without my#mom not letting me do so. im so sad. i dont even wanna ask for confirmation on how Over it is bc i dont want to go back to being full doome#it rly would have all lined up perfectly ! like its true‚ easiest way to get job is to know someone and i finally Knew someone#and the position would have been tolerable for me.....!#almost dream job! and a job that wld let me move out!!!#im so sad#igts not the yr of cheye after all i dont think#*i didnt gwt rejected or anything. changes at the workplace made it so i probably wont get to have an interview. didnt make it that far.
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the only thing i really really want from s3 is just for it to end with willmon saying "i love you" to EACH OTHER. THATS IT. PLEASE .WE CANT HAVE EACH TIME BE ONLY ONE OF EM SAYING IT
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ANDREW PLEASEEEEEEE COME BACKKK AND DO A SHOW PLEASEEEEEEEEE I NEED TO SEE HIM SO BAD MY GODDDDD IDC WHAT IT IS JUST PLELAYDYSEEEFWFESEESES
#i actually would Die like id actually die if i saw him like my heart would actually explode#its all i want seriously its all i need in life#ever since my tammy faye dreams were crushed Ohhhh u dont get it ive been dying#andrew rannells
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I don't know why but seeing the character's signature drinks on the otomate garden menu is so freaking funny to me like, Sena's is just straight up black coffee which I did NOT expect. But he'd def be the type to melodramatically order coffee in goth fashion aka "Coffee as black as my soul please" kind of fashion when he's in the mood to be funny.
Also, Koyo's is just flavoured water. Water guys, it's just water. Orange flavoured yes but it's still just water.
#9rip#and ofc seiya gets the alcohol variant of the group#we gotta establish his age (?)#and hibiki gets carbonated water because he wanted to try modern soda#also its very cute that Kureha's comes with a small katana shaped knife#Minami's is the most health hazardous out of all of them bcz its sweet af#someone's gonna get diabetes drinking that#would order Yukimaro's because i like matcha#unfortunately i dont live in japan so my dreams were utterly crushed to dust#I also find it so cute they made a pasta set for koyo and sena#im rambling so much rn omg#9 r.i.p#9 rip#9 r.i.p.
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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Kaveh thinks he’s Taylor singing Gold Rush about Alhaitham but it is in fact the opposite because of the two of them Alhaitham is the more ordinary one and Kaveh is the famous one that everyone adores and Alhaitham is the pining fool head over heels in love go listen to the song and come back and admit I’m correct
#kavetham#kaveh#alhaitham#haikaveh#kavehtham#genshin#EVERYBODY WONDERS WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO LOVE YOU#FALLING FEELS LIKE FLYING TILL THE BONE CRUSH#I DONT LIKE ANTICIPATING MY FACE IN A RED FLUSH#I CANT DARE TO DREAM ABOUT YOU ANYMORE????#make no mistake#gold rush is an alhaitham song#and thats why its on my kavetham playlist#i have more of these
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✨Trauma dump sesh;
but make it classy because effort was put into the wordage and I cant count how many takes i did for the recording
"I’ve a naturally hyper personality; I dance while I work, sing while I clean and I try to brighten everyone’s day. I get asked why I am the way I am. “Oh it must be the coffee, that’s why she’s so quirky again after her lunch break”. Truth is, I push myself to my limits daily and crash by the afternoon. Any spare physical energy is immediately used up; taken advantage of. I’m a one woman circus act walking the line of energetic and productive, over a hundred ft. drop into despair, with nothing but the safety net that is God’s grace to protect me. I go through swings like nobody’s business, taking the highs as they come; Until I swing too high and fall out the back of my seat. In rough waters, I take every moment above water breathing heaps of fresh air up until the millisecond the next wave engulfs me; Breathing salt water with it. I’m Icarus, taking my temporary wings for a joyride; Flying too close to the sun. Sometimes this worries people. They ask if I’m okay, seeing me hunched over the kitchen table praying for another ounce of strength. They want to help but, seeing as how it’s daily, I tell them “same ol’” and let them move on with their day. And, when they ask me why I haven't seen a doctor after a year, I haven’t much to say. I can’t explain it, I don’t have the energy and they won’t understand. People look at me like I’m crazy. My knee jerk reaction is to deny. I’m not crazy, I’m just struggling, I’m trying really hard, I’m. Not. Crazy. But the truth is, who wouldn’t be? No one understands how hard it is to live every single day in pain, until they experience it themselves. To have every motion of your hand matter. To have every action, reaction, tone of voice matter. To be ever conscious of every maneuver your body makes - trying to limit mistakes and dropping things but still go fast enough to keep up with your job. To be hyper-aware of every micro-adjustment to your posture; In hopes that one of them makes the pain lessen and allow your mind to focus on something else for a moment. And, when needing to lift heavier objects, be careful not to lift too long or to speed-walk with them too fast, lest you cause your arms to flare up again. And, when the flare up inevitably happens, how much of the muscle spasm in your shaking hands do you allow others to see in hopes of being cut a break, but not enough that it makes your work sloppy? What do you do when your mind is fuzzy, and the room is spinning - Your heart is beating harder and you’re losing your balance - Your ear keeps ringing intermittently, and your chest feels heavy - You think you’re going to pass out, but your body isn't ready - and you don’t want to, but your heart rate still unsteady - you’re catching yourself from falling, and you’re just trying to get through the work day - So you’re stuck in limbo, between conscious and fainted - Until eventually it tapers off and you begin to question; Am I somehow faking it? Did it ever even happen in the first place? You make mention of everything hurting, all the time, just for older family and coworkers to joke about “becoming an adult - Not understanding just how deep that cuts, or what they’re really joking about. . I’m exhausted. I’m broken. I’m weak. I’m frustrated. I’m burnt out. I’m beat. I want to rest, but even after a long day of hard work and minimal issues - The pain creeps up when I lay my head down for sleep. I don’t want to be a miserable person, I don’t want to be consumed by my struggle. I want to keep hold of faith for healing, stay hopeful for better days. I want to spread joy. So I break my body to keep up in the day, deal with the consequences by night, and repeat in the morning. I’ve a hyper personality, tied down by my body. A personified contradiction, walking a tightrope, swinging forward and back, halfway underwater, too close to the sun."
~ Bee, 11/20/2024 [Wannabee poet and rich person]
#I find it hilarious that the audio on my computer is marked as 4:20 for length#please dont freak out over this#Also#i feel like 10k would solve a good 50% of my problems ngl#feel free to also tell me if its awful and bad and crush my poetry dreams
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Norman headcannons
In life, Norman was good at doing impressions. This carried over into his cyborg/android design with a program that lets him perfect replicate people's voices.
Building off the above point, Norman wasn't originally the one doing the company tapes. That person asked too many questions and thus were needed... elsewhere. Since he already was discreet and okay with all the shady stuff, Norman was put on voiceover detail.
Norman has/had a bird.
Norman having a bird probably works better in an au, but he has this bird, maybe a parrot, maybe a budgie, and it has a yellow head and its wings and chest are the same color. I picture them as pink or purple, but I'm having trouble finding birds with that coloring. When he meets the bird, Andrew/Morris is chuckling because Norman is wearing a jacket that happens to be the same color as the bird's and they look identical.
Just. Let Norman have a pet bird!
Also I have an AU where everyone is alive and in highschool. In that one, Watchful Eye Toys exists as a research company headed by Norman's parents and he is expected to take it over. (I wanted to ramble about this in the tags but I reached the tag limit so I am adding this back here as an extra bullet point.) He gives off heir to a big company and kind of sheltered vibes.
#welcome to Dreamworld#wtdw#welcome to dreamworld Norman#icy babbles#also i hc norman as demi amd pan#i have a storyline in my head where everyone is alive amd they are still in highschool#Sara and Norman start hanging out#amd people atart assuming that they are dating#Sara is like “well he's aesthetically attractions ve amd we get along and im supposed to be dating at this point#so might as well“#or when she was younger and everyone was talking about crushes people asked her who she had a crush on and Sara picked Norman#because i dont have one and people think I should have one so ill have a pretend crush on Norman#but after they agree to be a couple both are waiting for the sparks everyone talks about to happen but they never come#amd neither tells the other that they dont feel anything#then Norman thinks “I think this is the situation where we are supposed to kiss” so he does#and Sara has a panic attack and doesn't know why#so she pushes Norman and runs out#she has a conversation with someone. Right now Dream and I are thinking Celio#and Sara realizes that she is aroace or on the ace spectrum#then she and Norman meet up and have a talk#They stay friends#then after a while of being friends with Andrew Norman starts getting feelings#and he is so confused#he vents to Sara about this and Sara is like “welcome to the aspec club”#also around the time Sara and Norman started dating#Wiatt and Andrew are having an adventure where they find an underfed shapeshifter#Andrew's parents work at a vet clinic so Andrew helps with the animal healing and Wiatt helps with the magic#(shinanigans with this universe's Litho cause this Au's Wiatt to have trauma and magic capabilities to help a creature that feeds on magic)#and by the end Wiatt amd Andrew have shared custody of a shapeshifting scrimblo they name Oddity#because i love the idea that Amdrew and Wiatt have joint custody over Oddity like two dads on an amicable divorce and Oddity gets two houses
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CHU2 and LAYER
#raise a suilen#ras#chu2#chiyu tamade#layer#rei wakana#bandori#bang dream#some new doodles and cleaned up some older ones#i love april fools 22 chu2 can you tell#her 2000s eboy hair is everything to me#also layers development from not wanting to pick fights to being the one yelling were going to crush you is amazing#ok but reveals setlist was kinda mid imo i really dont like the third single at all and they put the whole thing in there#overkill is my favorite teehee#anyway i have an assignment due tomorrow and i havent started im gonna fly away
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had a dream I got to go Giant Centipede Mode and it was sooooo awesome. I threw a car :3
#dream journal#you know how it is. running around at max speed with the power of a beast. you just start throwing things to see if you can#I think I also crushed a car. like constrictor snake style. love that#dont remember much context but I think I was trying to scare someone away#from like my friend. maybe it was buggy who knows. wish i remembered more!#just the mad frenzy of having more strength than I ever imagined at my disposal! ^_^#just the barely-conscious mania as I felt my muscles burn! ^_^ the foreign instincts informing my attacks! ^_^#just the sensation of losing myself almost completely to the adrenaline rush of committing acts of wanton destruction! ^_^#I think I started hunting someone just before I woke up lol. extremely fun dream 10/10
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I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE
#all caps#vent#vent post#venting#text post#failure#fear of failure#low self worth#mental illness#<< admin tags#IM A FAILURE IM A FAILURE IM A FAILURE#I NEVER AMOUNTED TO ANYTHING#I CRUSHED MY FAMILYS DREAMS OF FINANCIAL SECURITY WITH MY SELFISHNESS#I THREW AWAY RELATIONSHIPS I CHERISHED JUST BECAUSE I WAS FUCKING SAD#I WORRY EVERY DAY IS THE DAY MY HUSBAND LEAVES ME#I STILL DONT HAVE KIDS OR A HOUSE OR EVEN A FUCKING DOG#I NEVER WENT TO GRAD SCHOOL#IM TOO SICK TO HAVE HOBBIES OUTSIDE MY OWN HOME#I CAN'T EVEN MAINTAIN MY HOME#THE ONLY THING I WAS EVER GOOD FOR WAS MY BRAINS BUT I LOST THEM#I HAVENT CREATED ANYTHING BEAUTIFUL OR PROFOUND OR WORTHWHILE#I HAVENT MADE BANK#I HAVENT DONE ANYTHING TO MEDICALLY TRANSITION#IVE NEVER KISSED A GIRL#I STILL CANT AFFORD TO VISIT MY NEPHEW#I STILL BARELY KNOW MY SISTER#I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE#SOMEONE LET ME OUT OF MY OWN HEAD I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE
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Dreamt of my maths prof last night but it wasn't even a nice dream... I worked at a cafe and started taking his order and was so nervous and asked him some question about his personal life and he just said, "that's enough small talk" in a way that suggested it was inappropriate to be speaking to him this way because he was my professor and I felt so ashamed...
#Which was crazy because why would my dream do this... I dont remember the exact question but it was a really harmless one#Why did the dream create a fake social rule that you can't make small talk with professors#I think this comes from my paranoia that he sensed I was crushing on him when we spoke one on one
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can all of you shut up for literally five fucking seconds please
#mars.txt#my bad days have started to snowball into bad weeks which are projected to become bad months and frankly all of you are making it worse#<- me being dramatic this is not true only a select amount of you are making it worse#who is you i dont know i dont follow people i think are annoying unless im physically forced to but sometimes annoying people appear on my#phone against my will and im forced to be the bigger person and not suicide bait#speakign of which im bringing that back singlehandedly we do not tell others to kill themselves often enough#think about it maybe if you really put your mind to it they actually will#depending on who yohre targetinf its probably a net positive#no money but the only way i can feel peace is to have a live tracker of every fsmily member ive ever had in my life constantly in front of#me like in a clockwork orange but instead of the horrors its just physical proof o ehere they are#at all times#what was a lifelong looming fear that gave me such bad anxiety i would be sent home from school in literally second grade has only been fed#like fire and all i do is worry and all ive done is worry for literally years and why am i constantly holding my breath and why does every#phone call from an unknown number make my stomach hurt and why am i realizing now that its always been this way#looking through my dad's old documents and finding cards upon cards upon cards and there were so amny words but the only one i see in my#dreams is just alien over and over again alien alien alien and then i look outside and i wonder if the mothership might come for him and#take him away and now alien spacecraft are hovering everywhere we go and everywhere he goes and it feels like im the only one who like cares#like this crushing weight on my chest and i look at my friends and my collegues and im like How are you breathing?How can you breathe#until i get to see my grandma and suddenly im letting out a sigh of relief thats been building since i was in second grade#anyways. sorry#just shut up though
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