#don't worry‚ lesbians can still be friends with men (:

[inkskinned]

even 2 years ago people still said autism with a whisper. it was also how people sometimes whisper lesbian, like they're afraid of uttering a slur. autistic was either an insult or it was something terrible, a horrible burden only select people endure. "select people" were usually 9 year old boys and skinny white men.

they are not hispanic young adults with a dog and a life and friends. i can make (sustained, calculated, painful) eye contact. with certain people, i don't even have to count how many seconds i am holding their vision - i can just look at them. i can wear clothes that bother me, i will just have a worse day than usual. i might cry about any changes to my schedule - but change is scary! this is normal!

when i was 16 it was OCD. i mean that was the thing everyone said. i totally have ocd. they would arrange 6 colors of gel pen in rainbow order (no worry for indigo feeling left out) and they'd be "so ocd" about it.

if you struggle with intrusive thoughts, be careful at this next paragraph, but. at 16 i developed a compulsion that involved self-harm. my ocd was convinced i was simply forgetting that i'd hurt someone terribly - a thought that persisted for no clear or delineated reason.

at some point i will probably write about how the idea of "morally pure thoughts" was hell for me and others with ocd, but this was the odd dichotomy for many of us: they liked our "aesthetic", but were genuinely repulsed by our lived experience. "intrusive thoughts" now means "cutting your hair in the sink" instead of talking yourself down from believing horrible things. "so ocd" is a label without any true understanding.

it's something i've talked about before - in multiplicity - but i firmly believe in the veracity and necessity of self-diagnosis. i think it saves lives and it saves tragedies from occurring. as someone raised in a house that wasn't safe, self-diagnosis was, for many years, the only viable option. 15 and honestly googling: am i depressed or are there demons affecting my behavior.

but it is not genuine self-diagnosis anymore, most of the time. it is a strange, blanched version of that whispered word autism. now certain traits are constantly seen as "autistic" - any passing intense interest. any flubbed social interaction. people say it while laughing - a touch of the 'tism.

and i like the acceptance! i do. i like that people are talking about it. i like that if i self-identify, more people speak up and say me too, bitch. but there is something-else quietly happening, the way it happened to OCD. the quirky, "fun" parts have been washed and sanitized and removed of all suffering. now it is just something that makes you "a little bit silly."

it took me 27 years on this planet before i learned to make friends. something about me just seems incredibly odd, i guess, some kind of radiation monitoring. someone once (in a way that was almost friendly) told me i am doing the right things, but in a way that's off-putting. i have scoured myself raw attempting to be charming.

someone on tiktok does a deep dive into their particular passion. the top comment says "what kind of autism is this lol". like we are a breed of animal. like it has no influence on our experience. like our life is a fresh breeze, an open meadow.

more often for me, life was a drowning.

[rogueddie]

A Spot in My Life T | 953 words Prompt for @steddielovemonth: Love is keeping a spare sweater or blanket in the car because they always get cold

Steve Harrington is a bitch.

It's something that Eddie knew, all through high school, but he had thought that Steve had somehow became a new person- thanks to the Upside Down and constantly almost seeing the world end.

Steve isn't a bad guy, he can admit. He's still trying to keep an eye on everyone, make sure they're ok, even checking in with Eddie in his own way.

But he's very sly about it, hiding it being playful jabs, eye rolls and cocked hips.

It rubs him the wrong way. And it's only made worse by how much Eddie still likes him. It's as if the bitchiness only draws him in more, even as it makes his chest burn with irritation.

He tries to avoid Steve for as long as he can. He knows that finally befriending him like they both want will only end badly, but he knows he can't resist the temptation.

He enjoys the time before as much as he can, reveling in how often Steve will try to corner him so they can hang out, how much he whines and pleads and pushes. He enjoys the illusion that Steve could feel anything for him like he does for Steve.

And, when they finally do hang out, his fears are confirmed.

Steve is amazing. He's funnier than he comes across as at first too. He pays attention to what Eddie says and tries to get him anything he wants.

He's the type of friend that anyone would fight for, Eddie is sure. It explains how he ended up so popular in high school too.

If Eddie had known what Steve is truly like, he'd have been lining up for a scrap of his attention like everyone else.

"They're assholes," Steve explains, when Eddie finally asks about his old lackeys. "Tommy always took shit a step too far. I didn't need them. Probably shouldn't have befriended them in the first place."

"They were your friends," Eddie reminds him.

Steve sighs, leaning back. "Yeah, I guess. Just wish I'd realised sooner, how they were getting."

He never complains about the kids, not genuinely. In the quiet moments, when Steve is honest with an almost painful degree of vulnerability, he talks about how amazing the kids are. He talks about how honored he is to be friends with Dustin.

It only makes Eddies feelings inch ever closer to 'the L word'.

"You should talk to him," Robin suggests. "He really is amazing."

"I know, but... guys that are ok with lesbians still get weird about gay men, you know?"

"Yeah, but Steve isn't like that. Did he ever tell you the full story of how I came out to him?"

"It was after the Russian torture drugs, right?"

"We were in the bathroom, near the cinema. I thought we might have puked it all up, so we decided to test it, ask each other questions. So, I asked him if he was ever in love..."

"Oh... oh no."

"Oh yes. He liked me, told me so, and that's when I came out to him."

"Holy shit, Robin."

"But that's my point. He was a little surprised, sure, but he started making jokes, like, immediately. Didn't phase him at all. He got with it immediately. We're just friends, and that's not a problem for him."

Eddie groans, throwing his head back so it thumps into the wall behind him. "But that just makes him more hot!"

The story plagues his mind, to the point that it's the only thing he can think about when he picks Steve up for their next hang out.

In the dead of winter, Steve feels the cold worse than anyone else that Eddie knows. He runs hot, and the sudden temperature drops brings out the worse in him.

He's shivering when he climbs into Eddie's car.

"Fuck, why isn't your heating on?" He whines.

"It's broke," Eddie reminds him. "It's fine, don't worry."

"Don't worry? I'm gonna get hypothermia, Eddie! I don't want to turn into an ice sc- what is that?"

He takes the blanket that Eddie had reached back to grab, staring at it.

"It's a blanket."

"No shit, I mean... it's yellow."

"Yeah? You like yellow."

"You got this for me?"

"You see anyone else shivering in my van?"

"No, it..." Steve pauses, glancing at Eddie before slowly wrapping the blanket around himself. "Sorry, uh... thank you. This is, um, nice."

"it's nothing."

"It's not. Just- take the thanks, Ed."

"Alright, alright."

They're silent for the rest of the drive. It's so unusual for them that it has Eddie nervous, glancing at Steve every other moment.

When they finally pull to a stop, Eddie turns to Steve, who stays where he is. He stares out the front window for a moment, before turning to face Eddie.

"Are you alright?" Eddie asks.

"Yeah, I am. Enjoying the warmth."

"That all?"

"... yeah."

Eddie rolls his eyes. "You're a terrible liar."

"Wh- hey, I'm a good liar!" He tries to glare, but quickly backs down with a huff. "Alright, fine, but it's really sappy! Don't say I didn't warn you!"

"Oh, no, the horror."

"Shut up. I was just thinking about how, like... there's so many little things in your life that are for me. My tapes in your room, spare clothes in your closet, this blanket... I really appreciate it, man. You've made space for me in your life. It means a lot to me."

"Oh, right. That's... yeah. Of course, Steve. You're always welcome. I love- uh... spending time with you."

"Good. I love spending time with you too."

"Good."

"Great."

Steve's smile is wide and goofy. He's sure that his own is just as cheesy.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

could we get a disowned verse update if you’re feeling up to it

Jason pushed the door to the shop open and looked around- despite the fact that you were resting at home, he couldn't help but feel rage. Scalding hot in his stomach, roiling up. His eyes tracked the struggle.

He could see every moment in the marks on the floor. Your nails scraping the door way where you'd held it to keep from being dragged- and Borris. Poor old man. His footprints in the blood and dust on the floor. He'd done his best when you needed him most. Pushing through the pain to show his teeth and get a few bites torn out of the men who were hurting you.

Doing what Jason hadn't been there to do.

Boris was a hero. And Jason owed him. "Don't worry old man," he muttered. "I'm getting the hang of it." He wiped the angry, frustrated tears off his face and took a deep breath. "First things first."

Cops had their pictures but he wanted his. His own shit. His own evidence. It was safer that way. And then- then he'd make sure you came back to work to a clean shop. With better security. No one was going to hurt his girl again.

___________

Dick and Tim sat in the drive way for a second and Tim frowned, "They have goats?"

"No," Dick said, "At least I don't think-"

But kids giggling cut him off and the cacophony of barking made him shake his head, "I think those are the neighbors' goats."

"Should we leave?" Tim mused.

Dick shook his head again, "Just be nice to the kids and mind your own business when she tells you to." Jason wasn't around but, that didn't mean no one was here. They knew now, from Alfred that you were being looked after. It was a small town. So everyone knew the girl who ran the hardware had a tough go. And better, they knew by now what had happened at the store.

Tim nodded and picked up the box of security devices hoping Jason didn't take a hammer to these like he did the iPads, following Dick into the yard.

The giggling and bleating was still on going and he could hear the quieter voices of adults, "Should we start dinner?" a woman mused.

"Y/N said Reba and Julie brought casseroles we can reheat," Another woman answered.

"Bleh-"

"Tomorrow you can take over," the other woman laughed. "You know she won't let it go to waste."

"She's having a baby, all that processed nonsense-"

"It'll be alright, Joni. She's on the mend, she's just gotta take it slow."

"Who?" Tim mouthed, and Dick grinned.

"Their friendly local Marxist lesbians," he said opening the gate. "Friends."

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

The fun continues with three currently airing gems, a new show entering the fray, and an animated story so good I am reading a manga to keep up with it. Four of these are on Gaga and one is coming to us via fan sub. Jump on in to the weekly watch, we're having so much fun and not feeling at all overwhelmed by the deluge of amazing content! *chuckles nervously*

Takara's Treasure

I continue to love this quiet little show. This week I desperately wanted someone, anyone, to answer Taishin's earnest questions. He is doing his best to figure this out but no one is helping him! I like that despite wanting him to figure out his feelings for himself, Takara continues to reach out to Taishin to let him know his attention is welcome. This week we also met Emiri, an instant fav who taught Taishin all about stanning. I appreciate that this show joined other recent jbls in making a clear distinction between being a stan and being in love. Real love is not fanaticism, and the former is what Takara seems to want from Taishin--once he's ready.

I Hear the Sunspot

Ugh this show just gets me right in the heart. As I hoped, we got to sit with Taichi this episode as he worked through his confusion and worry about Kohei. It makes sense for Kohei to back off in the wake of his ignored confession, and it also makes sense that Taichi didn't hear him (metaphorically). And even after having it repeated in a way he can't misunderstand, he still doesn't know what to do with it. He just knows he likes Kohei and wants to be around him, and he seems okay with just leaving it at that for now. I loved, too, that we got to spend time with Kohei as he's coping with his worsening condition and get to know his mother, who is a delightful person who loves Taichi just as much as her son does. I'm so glad we are getting to see this story told properly in full in such a great adaptation.

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko

Finally, the truth!!! Ayaka is a menace and Hiroko is fighting for her life. Like hanging out with a niece, my ass! Most of the office misinterpreting Ayaka's behavior as crushing on Yuya instead of Hiroko continues to be hilarious, as are all Hiroko's friends trying to push her to cross the line. I was sad to learn that Risa has her own unrequited love going on; I want all the girls to end this story happily! I did love their conversation about identity, and that the show gave some space for Ayaka to consider whether lesbian is the right label for her. Checking out the lesbian bar together was a great way to test things out, and I was dying at the other girls hitting on Ayaka. Can't wait to see what happens next now that Hiroko has no more denial to cling to.

Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

Shoutout to @isaksbestpillow for picking this show up, because it’s an instant fav! Ishida and Mitsuya are fantastic characters, and man are they GAY. This is a food drama and a story of queer men of different generations seeing something unexpected in each other and forming a surprising bond. I was pleasantly surprised by how immediately the attraction and sexual tension arrived in this story, and I want to know so much more about Mitsuya and why he seems to be holding a desperate sadness alongside all his wisdom about life. Very excited to see these two nourish each other. You can find Sirii’s subs here.

Twilight Out of Focus

I don't watch anime (do not @ me, many have tried), but @bengiyo liked the story for this one enough that he told me I can’t skip it, so I am reading the manga along with the show. And I gotta say, I loved this first story with Mao and Hisashi (this is a multi couple series so not sure how the next one will go). Ben is on vacay so I'm tagging @twig-tea to talk about the episode that aired this week.

[gatheringbones]

[“G: Why did you get pregnant?

M: To prove to myself that I was a woman.

G: And then how did you feel about it?

M: I had been doing a lot of self-destructive things since I was thirteen - I dove into heterosexuality and I did it angrily and was contemptuous of any man I ever fucked. I somehow thought that fucking them would get back at them for everything, and somehow I thought that debasing myself would do something. So I got pregnant, which was very heavy 'cause at the time I thought I wanted to have kids. I really believed that there was a living person in me - my whole body was freaking out. They say you can't feel it, but I felt that energy, and I knew there was something alive in me - even if it was not more than a lump of cells, I thought it was still something alive - it was something that I was going to stop from being alive, but I figured I would rather do that. First of all I knew if I had a boy I'd drown it, and even if it was a girl I knew it had 23 genes I hated - and I didn't know who had made me pregnant. All of my hostility came to the surface - I was blind with fury and it all came out. I couldn't sit in the same room with one without wanting to murder him, literally. I couldn't listen to male music, I couldn't read male poetry. Lots of great male artists who had always been a great comfort to me I just couldn't... no male... I couldn't deal with any male, I hated them. After I calmed down about that it became very clear to me that I loved women, and I always had loved women, and that I had never had good relationships with men. I had always had good relationships with women. I had never been attracted to men, I had always been attracted to women, and I realized that I was just going to have to get used to the fact that I was a lesbian.

G: You had an abortion then?

M: Yes. I had two abortions... that was the first one. I dropped out of school and plunged right into feminism. It was obvious to me even at the time that the main reason I was there was because I wanted to come out. I wanted to come out so bad - I just wanted to do it and get it over with, you know, and just be comfortable in my identity as a lesbian. I had been avoiding the women's movement for years because I didn't want people to think that I was the old dyke who couldn't get a man. I wasn't able to become a feminist until I realized that I didn't give a shit if I was an ugly old dyke who couldn't get a man. I didn't want a man anyway. So I became active in the women's movement, and I met lesbians for the first time in my life. It was scary because even though I knew I was one I had never met a real one.

G: Were you saying you were a lesbian at that time?

M: Oh yeah, I had been saying that I was a lesbian for years before that. I can remember saying to a friend a couple of years before, when I was fucking all these men, "You know, I'll bet I'm a lesbian, because people with case histories like mine always turn out... if I didn't know me and I heard my case history I would be convinced that was a lesbian." And she said, "Oh, don't worry, you're not a lesbian." She tried to reassure me, but I knew. I just didn't want to deal with it; it was scary being a lesbian. Particularly since being a woman was so important in my family. So I became involved in the women's movement full-time. Then I needed money - so I got a job as a waitress. I was working nights and sleeping during the day and I didn't have any time for the women's movement. The only people I was hanging out with were the people I worked with. All of a sudden, since I didn't give a shit about men, I was really attractive to them. I'd never been attractive to them before, but all of a sudden I was fascinating - I guess every man want to fuck a dyke, you know, to prove they're a real man. So they started following me home. I was horny and I didn't have any lesbians knocking at my door, and I knew how to manipulate men, so I figured fuck it, I'll give them one more chance - so I started fucking a couple of guys. I told them, "Look, I hate men. I'm  a lesbian, I haven't come out yet, but I promise you I'm a lesbian." So I fucked them. And at that time I had an IUD which I had gotten after my first abortion, which they had promised me would be very effective. I got pregnant again, six months after my first abortion. My second abortion was really nice. I went to a really nice clinic and it was very clear to me, never again, never again. It's over. There was a really nice woman who was my counselor and I was awake for the abortion. She was holding my hand and while the fetus was being taken out of my body I was holding her hand saying to her, "Never again," and she said, "Oh, you're going to come out?" I said, "Oh, yes," and she said, "Far out," and she called across the room to another woman who was a counselor, and said, "Hey, this woman's coming out." It was so nice, so supportive, she's holding my hand, a woman, and I was telling her that I was a lesbian. She was telling me that that was great, and they were taking that goddamn thing out of my uterus. It was almost worth being pregnant, it was such a nice abortion. I was so into her that I didn't feel any pain, it was annoying, but all of a sudden it was over. It was really nice.”]

The New Lesbians, edited by Laurel Galana and Gina Covina, moon books, 1977

[count-on-mi]

Interactive Story Character List

Im Nayeon

Y/N’s ex-girlfriend

Dated with Y/N since college, break up recently. (Now unofficially going back with OC)

Roommate with Jeongyeon, living on the other side of the city

Haven't forgive Y/N and Momo at all

Sexual Relationships with Y/N: Yes

Yoo Jeongyeon

Nayeon’s roomate and collegue

Best friend of Nayeon, would call honey each other

Hate Y/N, as Y/N cheated on Nayeon

Doesn't believe Men's cock can satisfy woman

Surprised by the size of Y/N's cock, like to learn from Y/N how to please Nayeon on bed

Love having lesbian sex with Nayeon

Sexual Relationships with Y/N: No

Hirai Momo

Y/N’s secret Lover

Nayeon’s ex-personal trainer and current persoanl trainer for Y/N

Worrying Myoui's would force Y/N to leave her

False pregency before, still can't accept the fact that she never pregnant

Sexual Relationships with Y/N: Yes

Minatozaki Sana

Y/N’s subordinate and cum-slut

Seduce Y/N to fuck her after she knows the relationships of Y/N and Mina

Possible Public Sex Kink

Feel Guilty after using by others and now dedicated to Y/N only, reporting to Y/N's room everyday.

Loves Y/N secretly, but don't want to hurt Mina.

Sexual Relationships with Y/N: Yes

Park Jihyo

One of Y/N’s girlfriend

First meet Y/N as friends on work out, Y/N adopted her as she want to divorce with her husbund, Daniel.

Have sex with Y/N after she moved in.

In a relationship with Y/N after divorce Daniel, her family accepted Y/N already

Live with Y/N after returning from Seoul, own half of the house after the renovation

Wants to have kids with Y/N

Sexual Relationships with Y/N: Yes

Myoui Mina

Y/N’s secretary and fiance, Y/N's main girl for now

From the largest Japanese corporation and family, Myoui's.

Virginity taken by Y/N on the interview

Fallen to Y/N since then (Stockholm syndrome), she has quit for a while, but Y/N's sincerely touched her

No strong feelings for Y/N having other girlfriends, except Sana will be treated as betrayal and Jihyo is the biggest competitor

Pregnancy kick, want to born the kid before Jihyo

Special feelings toward Chaeyoung

Currently in Japan

Sexual Relationships with Y/N: Yes

Kim Dahyun

Y/N’s step-sisters, raised by Y/N since high school

Have a crush on Y/N since then

Jealous Y/N treats Chaeyoung better, knows Y/N's sexual relationship with Chaeyoung

Confessed to Y/N, confused and angry about Y/N still having girlfriend (Momo) outside

Now living alone on Mina's house

Y/N took her virginity on a threesome with Chaeyoung

Likes to play with Y/N's nipple

Sexual Relationships with Y/N: Yes

Son Chaeyoung

Y/N’s step-sisters, raised by Y/N since high school

Virginity taken by Y/N before the story starts and maintaining a sexual relationship with Y/N, loves rough sex and being submissive

Currently live in the dorm of the university and would stay in Y/N’s home for holiday.

First woman of OC to pregnant (Still a secret for now)

Sexual Relationships with Y/N: Yes

Chou Tzuyu

Intern at Y/N’s team, another cum-slut for Y/N privately

The first one to spot Y/N’s relationships with Sana and Mina

Have showcased her seducing skills to Y/N, the woman that make Y/N turned on the most.

Likes to observe how Y/N and Sana have sex in the office, which turns on Y/N more

Calling Y/N as daddy and Sana as Mommy, promised by Y/N to take her virginity in a romentic way

Sexual Relationships with Y/N: No

[deepcolorobserver]

I really want a terf lesbian to coax me into detransitioning

At first she pretends to support me and my transition, pretends to be a trans ally, says all the right things to befriend me and we hit it off. She's cute, funny, and for a while we're just friends.

We flirt a bit, always silly and joking and friendly. The kind of thing close friends do, until one day she admits she sees me as more than a friend. And god it's exciting, it's exhilarating, it makes my heart flutter. Who cares that she's a lesbian, maybe I'm the exception. Someone she likes enough to look past conventional desire.

So we start dating, a casual fling, but the sexting is HOT. She doesn't use preferred terms for my anatomy, always says clit instead of tdick, always asks for tit pics, but it's okay, a lot of the transmasc terms are a little clunky in dirty talk anyway.

She tells me I would look good with long hair. Men can have long hair right? I would be so pretty, such a pretty boy, so I grow it out for her. My hairline starts receeding on T and I'm worried about it, I confide in her, and she suggests stopping T. I got the changes I wanted, right? It's better that I don't hate myself for the changes I don't want, and she's right, even if she says it's mutilating me now. So I stop.

The whole relationship has been digital, and we talk a lot about meeting in person. Joking around, of course, neither of us have plane ticket money. But one day she asks for pictures in panties and a bra. I don't own those anymore, so she offers to buy me a pair. It's not feminizing, and I'm into degradation, she says. Men in lingerie can be degrading, and it would suit me. So I agree, because the idea is kinda hot, and I dress up for her. She's right, it is hot, even if it feels so wrong.

Slowly, she starts to introduce terf rhetoric to me. Very subtly, starting with ideas I can agree with and pushing more extreme views onto me. It makes me hate myself, of course, for transitioning and living as a man. There are lesbians that use he/him, she tells me. And if I were a lesbian, we could make "I'm in lesbians with you" jokes. The rhetoric swims in my head. I'm a lesbian, yeah. I still identify as a man, for a while.

One day it comes to light that we live in the same city. We can meet up easily. And it's like a revelation, a sudden flip. I'm with her almost every day, I'll stay over several nights at a time. Always in the lingerie she keeps buying me. I'm wearing it all day, wearing it to work, just so she can take off my clothes and see it when I get to her place. It's not long before we move in together. She calls me girly pet names, things you would never call your boyfriend. And the wrong feeling, all it does is turn me on and endear me to her.

The day I bring up top surgery, she spends a very long time sucking on my tits, kissing them all over. Don't do it, she tells me. I look so good like this. It compliments my body type, I'm meant to have tits. She makes me say it, say I love my tits. She makes me say that I love my pussy, I love all the things that make me feminine. I'm crying as I say it, but I tell her I think I might be a girl. She says I always was, and always will be. My biology was made with a purpose, and I'm meant to be a woman. I ask her to use she/her pronouns, to use my dead name in bed. We scissor and I cum harder than I ever have, all because she uses my deadname. If it feels this good, how can it be wrong?

She misgenders me outside of bed anyway. Soon everyone is using my deadname and she/her. I'm so wet all the time. She takes my body every night and uses me to pleasure herself. She makes me cum while telling me what a beautiful woman I am.

She convinces me to get pregnant with a surrogate. We both want kids, and this is the only way to do it. The whole time she talks about how beautiful the process is, what a lovely woman I am, fulfilling my purpose. She holds my hand as I birth our child. I forget all about wanting to be a boy.

[hadesoftheladies]

FEMALE MOVIE/TV RECS (PART 8 / COMEDY & ROMCOMS)

got inspired from a recommendation post so decided to make a list of movies and shows with female-centric stories/female protagonists. since i can't post all of the genres in one post, i'll split it into multiple posts and y'all can save or add to the list as you wish. (disclaimer: i have watched most of these, but i only know about the existence of others. not every movie/show on these lists will be my recommendation. my recommendations will be beneath the list with reasons. also some of these are way better than others in terms of storytelling/performance--which is why i'll list my faves separately):

Common Themes/Tropes:

-Quirky girlfailures and losergirls being disastrous (and learning they're still loveable)

-Women causing carnage (sometimes) unintentionally

-Women getting into shenanigans with their friends/sisters

-Features many equally if not more dumbass male antagonists (or sidekicks)

-Financial struggle subplot

-BFFs and sisters > everything else (even the d)

-Lots of sex and money talk usually

-The Struggle of Dating TM

-I Still Feel 12 & Stupid TM

WHAT I'D RECOMMEND:

Abbott Elementary (9/10) (too many amazing female characters!)

Such Brave Girls (8/10) (Derry Girls as adults)

Kajillionaire (7/10) (the protagonist is so weird and loveable, top tier ending)

Isn't It Romantic (6.5/10) (fun and knows exactly what it needs to be)

Fleabag (?/10) (haven't watched but I know it's good)

Kevin Can F**k Himself (9.5/10) (genuinely so so so so good some of the most clever and sincere storytelling I've seen in a while)

Hacks (7.5/10) (the two female leads are hilarious in their own ways and so human!)

NOT LISTED BUT WORTH CHECKING OUT:

What Men Want

Little

Nobody's Fool

Girl's Trip

The Other Woman

Queenie

Legally Blonde

Miss Congeniality

The Devil Wears Prada

Pitch Perfect

PERSONAL NOTES

Playing House is about two friends raising a child together, which is a premise I love. High Desert is a detective comedy (way more comedy than detective, though) with a likeable protagonist who is also addicted to drugs (that isn't the punchline, don't worry).

The Hustle and Queenpins were produced by the same company (and you can tell).

Twenties is one of the few shows that feature a stud lesbian as a central character (and she's beautiful!). Insecure is probably the most famous of black female comedy shows, though.

[fakerbreaker]

I've made a few arobreaking posts, which so called "aro" lovesick puppies seem to keep flocking to. But I think I could adapt my techniques just slightly to turn dykes into breeders too.

I have no interedt in making you "bounce on my cock", don't make me retch. Save your secret carnal fantasies for a shrink lmao. No, I think I'll do far worse to you than that. To recap, I can condition those uninclined to fall limerantly in love with me using the gooest media, love bombing, all that good stuff. Dykes are even easier, though. All I have to do is "identify" as a she/they for a while and I'll meet no resistance whatsoever. And don't mind my cute little harem, you're not polyphobic, are you~? Partway through making you crushingly reliant on me, I'll casually drop that I'm feeling like more of a they/them these days.

A bit after you're in too deep, we'd have to have a talk. I'm really sorry, I don't know how to tell you this, but I've been searching myself and it turns out I'm really just a fenboy after all. And since you're 100% lesbian, I guess we'll just have to part ways. Of course, you'll do anything to be with me, so I can be your exception. It still doesn't say anything about you. Over the following months, I'd shift your focus to idolise everything masculine about me. My deep voice, adam's apple, my bone structure, my he/him pronouns. You only think you like femine traits because I have some of those too.

When I think you're sufficiently cooked, I'll have another bombshell to drop. I'm so sorry, I didn't realise I was polysaturated. And since you're not into guys anyway, it makes most sense to let you go, right? I know you can barely function without me, but we can still be close friends! I'll even help you find someone else. I know my suggestions are all men, but I know you, and your personalities are a great match? Just give them a try? You know you can come crying to me after your bad dates, I'll drink up your tears~! I know men can be just awful~!

Eventually, you'll find the one. He'll be a misogyonistic ass, you'll end up maintaining his house on your own at the same time as working full time, but I'm sure we can transfer your need for me onto him. He'll eventually knock up a baby into you so he can use your maternal insticts to tie you to him too. No worries if you're now a broken "transbian", there's always IVF and adoption. Either way you're trapped and straight as an arrow now lol. Why would someone "break you over their cock" when this is so much more fun~?

[woman-respecter]

part of what freaks me out is even women with good male partners (assuming they're cis men) are at extreme risk with what they plan to do to abortion rights across the country. my sister is engaged to a wonderful feminist guy who thinks the world of her, and she's also religious and not particularly inclined to get an elective abortion. (to be clear, she's pro-choice and very liberal overall - it's just about her own personal choice.) but she wants to have kids together and i'm scared because what if she has a problem pregnancy? we live in a blue state that JUST enshrined abortion rights in its state constitution per ballot measure but that doesn't help if we get a national abortion ban! my mom was basically begging her on the phone after the election to hold off on getting pregnant until we get another democrat in there, and overturn any anti-abortion national stuff they might pass. luckily, my sister is well-aware of all this, and is factoring in all this, but that doesn't mean i'm not still worried. even as a lesbian, i'm so scared i'm thinking of getting an implant just so the "your body, my choice" assholes can't assault me into a pregnancy i don't want, since those can last for years and i don't want an IUD (with how painful the insertion is according to every straight woman i know + i have a family friend who had one inserted wrongly and had to get two abortions because she kept getting pregnant anyway as a result)

like my mom keeps talking about how when she got pregnant the first time she miscarried and needed a D&C. pretty routine thing after miscarrying. but now the crazies are treating D&Cs like they're abortions??? this was not an issue at all when she got one in the 1980s. absolutely insane how bad this could get

yeah it’s super scary for anyone who wants to give birth right now. the worst part is that lib women like your family realize this but conservative women are going to be told that all our cautions about getting pregnant in a country without abortion rights is just “lib hysteria” or whatever and they will continue to get pregnant and suffer extremely preventable consequences, including death.

[inkskinned]

she's three years younger than i am, and i put on cascada as a throwback, cackling - before your time! i've been borrowing my brother's car, and it's older than dirt, so the trunk is like, maybe permanently locked. when the sun comes through the window to frame her cheekbones, i feel like i'm 16 again. i shake when i'm kissing her, worried i won't get it right.

in 2003, my state made gay marriage legal. where she grew up, it wasn't legal until 11 years later - 10 years ago. if legal protections for gay marriage were a person, that person would be entering 5th grade. online, a white gay man calls the fight for legal marriage boring, which isn't kind of him but it is a common enough opinion.

it has only been 9 years since gay marriage was nationally official. it is already boring to have gay people in your tv. it is already boring to mention being gay - "why make it your entire personality?" i know siblings that have a larger age gap than the amount of time it's been legally protected. i recently saw a grown man record himself crying about how evil gay people are. he was begging us, red in the face - just do better.

i am absolutely ruined any time my girlfriend talks about being 27 (i know!! a child!), but we actually attended undergrad at the same time since i had taken off time to work between high school and college. while walking through the city, we drop our hands, try not to look too often at each other. the other day i went to an open mic in a basement. the headlining comedian said being lesbian isn't interesting, but i am a lesbian, if you care. as a joke, she had any lesbian raise their hand if present. i raised mine, weirdly embarrassed at being the single hand in a sea of other faces. she had everyone give me a round of applause. i felt something between pride and also throwing up.

sometimes one thing is also another thing. i keep thinking about my uncle. he died in the hospital without his husband of 35 years - they were not legally wed, so his husband could not enter. this sounds like it should be from 1950. it happened in 2007. harassment and abuse and financial hardship still follow any person who is trying to get married while disabled. marriage equality isn't really equal yet.

and i don't know that i can ever put a name to what i'm experiencing. sometimes it just feels... so odd to watch the balance. people are fundamentally uninterested in your identity, but also - like, there's a whole fucking bastion of rabid men and women who want to kill you. your friends roll their eyes you're gay we get it and that is funny but like. when you asked your father do you still love me? he just said go to your room. you haven't told your grandmother. disney is on their 390th "first" gay representation, but also cancelled owl house and censored the fuck out of gravity falls. you actively got bullied for being gay, but your advisor told you to find a different gimmick for your college essay - everyone says they're gay these days.

once while you were having a hard day you cried about the fact that the reason our story is so fucking boring to so many people is that it is so similar. that it is rare for one of us to just, like, have a good experience across the board. that our stories often have very parallel bends - the dehumanization, the trauma, the trouble with trusting again. these become rote instead of disgusting. how bad could it be if it is happening to so many people?

i kiss my girlfriend when nobody is looking. i like her jawline and how her hands splay when she's making a joke. there is nothing new about this story, sappho. i love her like opening up the sun. like folding peace between the layers of my life, a buttercream of euphoria, freckles and laughter and wonder.

my dad knows about her. i've been out to him since i was 18 - roughly four years before the supreme court would protect us. the other day he flipped down the sun visor while driving me to the eye doctor. "you need to accept that your body was made for a husband. you want to be a mother because you were made for men, not women." he wants me to date my old high school boyfriend. i gagged about it, and he shook his head. he said - "don't be so dramatic. you can get used to anything."

the other day a straight friend of mine snorted down her nose about it, accidentally echoing him - she said there are bigger problems in this world than planning a wedding.

[she-her-cuntboy]

Fantasizing about having a cis boyfriend who talks me into kinkier and kinkier sex, secretly laying the foundations to start detransitioning me. When I realize, im scared, and I go to a friend to talk about my worries. He's trans like me, and agrees that it might be something to keep an eye on, but give him another chance - maybe it has an innocent explanation, and he's not trying to detrans me. Maybe im projecting my own kinks - when's the last time I had sex that wasn't catered to a cis penis? He convinces me to have sex with him, casually, as friends, we've known each other a long time and used to mess around sometimes before I met my boyfriend. It feels so good, but the whole time I feel guilty - what if my boyfriend sees it as cheating? We haven't talked about exclusiveness, and I tend to lean towards polyamory, but if he's monogamous I wouldn't want to do this behind his back. So the moment I come home to him, I break down and confess tearfully.

He listens gravely, and carefully keeps his expression neutral, but I can tell he's hurt. He asks who it was with, and I tell him - he knows my friends. "Oh!" he says. "That's fine, babydoll. Well, I mean- I would have preferred we talked about it before, so I'm honestly still a little hurt, sweetheart... but I don't have an issue with you, uh, having sex or whatever with other people, as long as it's not another real- I mean cis man." I eagerly agree to his boundaries, and reassure him that I've never been into other cis men and he's the exception, the love of my life. I easily ignore his awkward wording - he's not as familiar with queer terminology and talking about sex can be a little weird to put into words anyway.

What he's carefully avoiding scaring me off with is his true opinion that he's slowly going to acclimate me to, which is that queer "sex" doesn't count without a cis man's penis. It's not cheating if it's two transmen, because that's just lesbian sex and there's no real man claiming his property. He thinks it's cute when I call ftm4mtf "straight sex" as if I'm a boy, because he knows my tgirl friend is still penetrating my needy submissive pussy. And eventually, I start to question my gender, especially in the bedroom. My boyfriend is always so much more affectionate and into it when he's feeling up my curvy body, and he loves when I act like a girl. I tentatively break the subject with my ftm friend who I talked to at first, and he's very accepting of my "gender weirdness", and respects my request to be treated like a girl in the bedroom, and then anywhere private, and then in public. We spend a lot of time together, talking about sex and kinks, and he's naturally empathetic and seems really touched when I talk about how good it feels to be a good girl for a real man. I'm barely aware of how convincing I'm being, because I don't know the sappy playlists my boyfriend makes me are full of subconscious conditioning and affirmations behind the music - good girls make more good girls. I'm a good girl. Good girls need cock in their cunts. My needy cunt makes me a girl. Brains are for boys and my thoughts are just noise. Good girls make more good girls.

Eventually my boyfriend is my husband, I'm his favorite submissive housewife, and all my old "trans" and "lesbian" friends are playthings for his entertainment. We love having lesbian sex and putting on a show to earn his cum, and I dont remember any reality other than this, or any reason I wouldn't want to be right where I am.

[inky-evergreen]

Uhh yeah I redesigned Candide cause I can and this is my AU I so what (pleasedon'thatemeplease). I didn't change much of her personality wise since I kinda like her and felt like she had wasted potential as a character and antagonist. All I'm gonna say is that I got big plans for her (and a certain forgotten friend of ours) in the future of the series. But for now here's the things I did change about her

•Is the vice VICE principal of the school instead of a superior in order to get closer to the clones and to make sure Scudworth doesn't fuck up. Much to Scudworth's and Mr. B's dismay (they get used to her eventually don't worry)

• Is a very good manipulator and can put up a front real easy. She got almost all the clones to love her but at the same time fear her. Thinking that shes one of the people that if you're nice to her she's nice to you but if you're NOT... that's a death wish. It's almost scary how she does it. Candide says she gets it from her parents like that makes it any better.

• She still likes reptiles don't worry and has them around the school much to everybody's displeasure.

•Didn't really have a good childhood and reptiles were only friend. She felt like she didn't have a purpose from childhood wayyy up to adulthood. But when The board of shadowy figures recruited her in their business she finally felt whole. So she's quite devoted to them (maybe a lil too much)

•Speaking of The shadowy board she's real close to them and has a nice relationship with them. Sometimes they do thing that make her think that she can control their business better but it's all good :333

• She isn't the foster mom of Joan anymore but lovers of Candide and Joans dynamic DO NOT FRET!! They still interact. Joan is one of the only people that doesn't by Candide's nice guy act but that doesn't mean Candide would give up on her that easily. Joan is one of the top three of becoming the next world leader aside from Cleo and Harriet. And Candide is gonna make sure that Joan is gonna be the leader that she as destined to be.

•She's a GIRL KISSER !!! She likes WOMEN!!! She does NOT LIKE MEN!!! SCUDWORTH STOP TRYING TO PURSUE HER SHE'S A LESBIAN YOU STUPID FUCK!!!1!!1!1!1!!!1!!1!!!!1!!!!!!!

[asexual-society]

This might be a stupid question but what exactly is "internalised gay-/bi-/ace- etc. phobia"? Is it only called that if I'm ace and wish I wasn't for example? Or is it also internalised phobia if someone claims to be accepting of a sexuality but secretly isn't?

And how do I know if I have internalised phobia and how do I get over that? I'm aroace and I'm fine with the ace part but the aro part troubles me sometimes. I can't help but see it as a huge personal loss. I know about qprs but I want the romance, I want the feeling and I'm not capable of it. And that bothers me. And yes, it makes me feel broken.

So. We live in a society. Most of us live in a society that is misogynistic, that is racist, that is homophobic, that is ableist, etc. Everyone who lives in a society like this will spend their life internalising these messages, so even if they are a part of one of these groups, they may still hold bigoted views towards other people of their same group (or towards themselves). I'm going to explain to the best of my understanding but people are free to correct any mistakes I might have made.

A common example of internalised homophobia might be if a gay man is distrustful of other gay people who are especially over the top in expressing their queerness, or has a dislike for effeminate gay men, or a lesbian who thinks gender nonconforming or butch lesbians are ugly. Internalised -phobias and -isms can also be self-directed having been enforced for many years by others, such as a woman who shaves her whole body because she views having body hair as being "unhygenic" for women, or a woman who genuinely believes that she, and all women, are less intelligent and more emotional than men.

A person with internalised acephobia may have learnt from society that being a virgin or not having sex, or specifically being asexual, is weird or embarrassing or cringe, and feel the need to have sex just so as not to be one of "those people".

Crucially in order for some form of bigotry to be called "internalised", the person has to be a member of that group, so if an Asian person is racist towards a black person, that isn't internalised racism, it's just regular racism (or specifically anti-black racism). If an alloromantic asexual person says something like "I'm ace but don't worry, I can still feel love", that's not internalised arophobia, it's just regular arophobia (but it might also play into internalised aphobia if they feel that the only way they can deal with their asexuality is to throw themself as hard into their romantic endeavours as possible).

Lots of aromantic people struggle with the effects of amatonormativity, and feeling that their life will be incomplete without romance, or that they're missing out on a fundamental human experience (this is not true, you can live a happy and fulfilled life without romance or any form of relationship). You could be what's known as Cupioromantic, which is a label under the aro umbrella that describes aro people who enjoy being in romantic relationships and seek them out, but it's important to understand the distinction between wanting to be in a romantic relationship because you enjoy it, and wanting to be in a romantic relationship because you feel like you won't be happy any other way.

Unfortunately (if you see it that way), wanting not to be aro will not make you magically allo. Wanting to be another sexuality has never been able to turn someone into that other sexuality, that's why conversion therapy doesn't work. You have to find a way to live with it, and there's no surefire way to accept your orientation, but having other friends who share your orientation can be one of the best ways to feel less broken and less alone. Personally, I like to write about aro characters who are like me, mostly because they don't really exist anywhere else, and it helps me to remind myself that I'm not the only person like me in the world. But you could also listen to more music that isn't about love, or see if you can avoid specific things that you know make you feel unhappy in your aromanticism. I'm not saying it's easy, and I'm not saying that path to acceptance will be linear, but I do think trying to work towards that acceptance is worthwhile.

I hope this helps, and that you feel better about yourself soon.

~ mod key

edit: the reason i hesitated to call "wishing i weren't aro" "internalised arophobia" in that post, is largely because it depends where the desire not to be aro is coming from. if it's from a profound loneliness that many aro people experience due to their aromanticism, being misunderstood or even abandoned by their friends, having difficulty connecting with people who aren't aro, that's very different from a person wishing they were aro because society tells us we aren't whole without a partner, or that we're missing out on this experience, or even that we're broken or mentally ill for not being able to experience this sort of attraction.

[angelpassing-by]

ᏵꝊ𐌋𐌃𐌄𐌍 𐌔𐌀𐌍𐌃 𐌀𐌍𐌃 ᏵꝊ𐌋𐌃𐌄𐌍 𐌄𐌙𐌄𐌔

Pairing: Jeht x fem!reader Genere: fluff, angst [just a little] Sinopsis: it's the day before your loves goes on a mission with a certain Traveler A/N: I'm screaming, I'm crying, I'm foaming at the mouth. No fics for Jeht?? Now I'm sad. So, I haven't yet completed the whole world quest, but something tells me it will end in heartbreak and I'm SCARED. Sumeru is soo well written i want to scream, aaand Jeht is a lesbian cutie. Obviously I want Jeht for myself, but if I can't have her, please HoYo make Jehtlumi canon.

Marvelous rays of golden sunlight drape over the river's quiet waters, smearing its hue into the tents perched into both of its muddy shores. Lazy spinocrocodiles lay atop of the rocks, their scales glistening of red and ashes. Men and women of the tribe rest too, some beneath the comfort of palm tree shades and others strolling aimlessly. There is a certain tranquility in the air you haven't felt since joining the Tanit, a sort of peace found in the middle of the chaos, the constant uncertainty that dangles over all of your heads.

You can finally see why Jeht likes it here, even though you are both outsiders of some sort; you, more so, being a runaway from Sumeru city. Maybe you are all a big family after all. That thought makes you smile ever so slightly.

Jeht lays at your side, both outside your shared tent, not more than a few scraps of fabric and sturdy wood, with your eyes on the river and, occasionally, on each other. Your lover's golden eyes are as gentle as the setting sun, and so are her lips as she kisses your knuckles.

"Tomorrow I'll set off" she murmurs, still holding your hand between hers.

You know, you've seen the blonde Traveller and her fairy companion, Jeht's precious friend of whom you've heard nothing but honey - sweet praise. Truth be told, those words rarely extend to the flying thing though she quite reminds you of a little sister you once had. You don't really think about those things these days so you shake your thoughts away and bring her hands onto your own mouth, kissing her metal gloved fingers in exchange.

"I know" it's your only response, but on the inside you scream. Why? Aren't I enough for her? That foreigner is surely better, being such a legend. Why is Jeht setting herself up for danger again? Surely she will come home safe, right?

That night you sleep in each other's arms a last time, her body encasing you and her skin, warm and soft, keeping you company throughout the sleepless night. The chilling air pierces through the tent at times and wails as you snuggle closer to Jeht beneath the dusty blanket.

Jeht sometimes mumbles, calling out for something you can't quite make out until the first lights announce the start of another day: "don't... Dad... come... don't go... not there... back". As her words grow in intensity you shake her awake and kiss her good morning while her eyes still try to focus.

After a breakfast made up of dates and Fatteh, you are finally left alone. She fixes a strand of your dark hair behind your ear.

"Don't miss me too much" she murmurs, her forehead against yours.

"I'll just worry sick" Jeht attempts a half smile "be safe."

Now your lips are on her lips and her hands caress the back of your neck with such tenderness that, for a split second, you think you might melt from her touch. That kiss says more than the little words you've managed to spit out. I love you. I know you have to leave, but come back, don't you leave me too. And from her, wait here. Don't risk anything, be safe, be strong for me. I'll come back for you, I promise.

The kiss breaks as a high pitched voice calls for her: "Jeht, we are ready to go!!"; it's the Traveler and her little companion.

You look at her and she looks at you before heading away. She'll come back, you tell yourself but can't help but wonder as every time she ventures away from the tribe.

Is the love of two runaway girls stronger than the desert's deadly embrace?

[all-was-not-well]

Michaela Stirling

I'm definitely going to regret dropkicking myself into this conversation but....

I fucking love what they've done with John and Francesca this season, I think it's a great change of pace from the hyper-passionate, demonstrative love stories we've seen so far on Bridgerton. I'm also super excited for Francesca and Michaela's season, and for the way Michaela's gender is going to play into that.

Because yes, her gender is going to change some aspects of the story. There'll be less pushback against the two of them living together (Francesca has to temporarily move back into Bridgerton house because even as a widow she can't live alone in the same house as Michael, her cousin-in-law) and likely more pressure on Francesca's pregnancy due to the lack of an heir that's both known to the remaining members of the family and willing to provide for them (I think they actually are going to do a version of Francesca's struggle with infertility, I just think that the way they handle it is going to be very different). Characters are probably going to lean harder on Francesca to remarry, and depending on how the ton perceives Michaela (the general vibe on Bridgerton is that society doesn't take issue with men like Anthony or Colin sleeping around, but women like Daphne and Prudence risk ruin for being alone with a man) her family will likely want her to marry as well. (My guess is that Michaela will be charming as hell and the toast of the season, there'll just be fewer rumors about who she has and hasn't slept with.)

I'm curious to see how they continue to navigate queer sexualities in the Regency era, even in a story that plays as fast and loose with history as Bridgerton. I'm pretty okay with how they handled Benedict, Tilley, and Paul this season, and I'm optimistic as hell for watching Francesca and Michaela grow and change together.

My one real worry is an extremely modern one. As much as I love all the edits to "Good Luck Babe" that I've been seeing on Tik Tok, I really don't want them to frame Francesca as a lesbian. I really love the idea of Francesca's relationship with John being something real and true and valid -- she loved him, she was attracted to him, she wanted kids with him, she mourned him to hell and back when he died-- and over the course of the story, she grows to want something different -- not more or less, but different-- with Michaela. They can still tease each other, they ca still push each other out of their shells, they can still be best friends who fall apart when they lose the person who mattered most to both of them, and fall back together when they risk losing each other. The heart of the story can still be the same-- changing Michael to Michaela only changes the skeleton.

Does that make any sense?