#don't worry it's nothing too negative! I'm fine for the most part

[joosthead]

SMUT PROMPT 2 PLZZZ

just too soft for all of it || j.k. f!reader

₊˚⊹⋆ prompt(s): 2S) crying crying during sex that leads to a pause or early end to comfort and take care of whatever emotions bubbled over & 3F)  gently pushing their hair behind their ear to see their face better

₊˚⊹⋆ reader: f!reader, no pronouns, reader gets referred to as his “favourite girl” one time. notfamous!reader lol also does not speak dutch

₊˚⊹⋆ word count: 4.4k

₊˚⊹⋆ cw: smut (fingering, piv), a good amount of negative self thought (i may have gone overboard—feeling inadequate as a partner, reader is very hard on themself and quite sensitive), mentions of anxiety/stress/being overwhelmed, a very fluffy and healthy joost :( aur i love him anyways, pls heed the prompt cuz that in itself is a content warning teehee, 🧀🧀🧀alert i can’t lie!!, a variety of dutch terms of endearment i'm not sure i’m using right but it’s for the sake of no y/n

₊˚⊹⋆ track of the fic: "sweet nothing" by taylor swift

₊˚⊹⋆ junote: i resonate heavy with this 🙃🙃 had the worst last few weeks of this uni year but i’m FREE!!!! thanks for requesting this, i combined this with a few other asks stated above! happy first juno joost fic to meee yippeee

rpf ahead—don't like it, don't read it!! you've been warned. please do not repost this on any other platform.

18+ only — explicit rpf content ahead, minors dni.

To say the utter least—it had been a hard few weeks for you. 

The whims of life carried you away like a tsunami to your normal routine—work and classes and friends and family and life, life that you couldn’t ignore or get away from like you wanted to do, nothing to do except doing it. And you’d been doing it, just fine for the most part, but one thing led to another, and the last week was a whirlwind of commitments, obligations, your procrastinating on all of them, somehow. You got yourself into a mess of your own making. 

It certainly didn’t help that your boyfriend, Joost, was away for his own life: a festival performance in Canada, one in Belgium, one in the Netherlands but not one you could attend easily with all of the work you had for yourself. After that, he worked on the new album in Germany, putting the final touches on his 9th project, filming new content and preparing for his upcoming tour. 

He left around the beginning of when your life started getting busier. If you added it up—23 days you hadn’t seen him in person, but it’s not like you were counting (you were counting, and sad the entire time about his absence.). It felt like the same amount of time you hadn’t even seen or talked to him, through the phone, on Facetime, even texting each other.

Voice memos in the bathroom at work, always apologizing for how rushed you had to be; leaving him on delivered for hours as you studied, or had an event you needed to be at, or had a person you needed to talk to, someone else who needed your time more than Joost needed yours, and it was too much. All of it was too much. Too much for you to handle easily, every second taken by someone else. 

You felt like a terrible partner, not being able to speak to him as much as you wanted. Seeing all of his messages, the reassurance that he understands how busy you are and that in the end, you'll always make time for each other…his ability to be such a good partner held up next to your perceived inadequacy made you even more stressed. 

In the end, it’ll all work out—today, Joost flew back home, though you still had a number of commitments and assignments to get to and couldn’t pick him up from the airport. Your mutual friend picked him up, and you bit your nails at every update given; willing the time to go slower so you could tidy up more, work on that one last piece of paperwork so you wouldn’t have to worry about it, make sure everything is perfect so Joost can have a good welcome back.

In the nick of time, you were able to get everything done, but it still felt as if there was something missing, like you'd be hit with a missed deadline in the midst of your time back together, and it would all come crumbling down. 

As you opened the door, right as your friend pulled up to your street, you tried to put it aside, and you did—for now. Late afternoon and you stand at the top of your townhouse steps, watching in nervous excitement as Joost unloads his luggage from the trunk. Your friend closes the trunk and waves at you.

You wave back, but your eyes are on Joost as he gathers the two suitcases and starts rolling them to you in a sort of disorganized frenzy, just as excited as you are; you would come forward and help, but it’s cute to watch him, clumsy and stumbling over his long pants and tote bag and everything—your Joost, finally back with you. 

He wears a heavy black jacket, sunglasses, a black cap that he takes off and shakes his hair out of; the sun shines off him, and you can't help but smile at the sight. His hair grew out a little, the darker blonde roots growing in. Those jeans are ones you’ve never seen before, new glasses, new clunky boots that look greatly uncomfortable but perfectly his style. Evidence of the time passed, and for some strange reason, it brings a pang to your chest that you try to ignore as you come down the steps of your house. 

“Come here, come here, come here, baby, I missed you,” Joost exclaims, arms open and leaving his bags behind him to come meet you halfway, laughing. 

You say as you hug him around his neck, his arms around your waist and squeezing you tight, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t pick—” 

“Don’t worry about it, I know you were busy.” 

You nod as he moves his arms around your neck and you go around his waist, Joost pecking your cheek several times and making you laugh. “I still feel bad I couldn’t pick you up.”

“Never feel bad, you’d still be the best even if you left me on the side of the road.” You give him and his compliment a weak smile as you pull away. 

—

The first time you get a moment to yourself in a month: Joost’s head lays in your lap as you both watch some cartoon on the couch together after eating. 

You cleaned most of yesterday and some of today; you cooked most of last night since you knew you had more time, preparing Joost’s favorite meal—it was the best you could reasonably do, considering all of the other obligations you had in these last two days. 

As he ate, you pushed around your own food; would’ve made it fresh, could've had a nice table setting for dinner, should’ve prepared more for all of this. You still gave him a sheepish smile as you watched him happily eat the microwaved meal you warmed up for him, no indication at all that he’s disappointed or unhappy like you are with yourself. You shouldn’t feel like this, but you do. It’s getting increasingly difficult to shake. 

The colors and lines dance across the TV, spouting raunchy jokes that you can half understand with the few years of Dutch you have under your belt; the air conditioner is on, and you can finally rest. Joost is changed out of his airport outfit and into some shorts and a shirt. He’s home, and you did the best you could do, and now he’s in your arms again. 

You don’t even mean to, but you sigh, perhaps louder than usual, because Joost looks up at you from your lap, brushes a lock of your hair out of your eyes, says, “You’re the best, you know?” 

It catches you off guard enough that you shake your head almost instinctively, not fast enough to hide…whatever feeling this is you’re feeling. “I don’t feel like it, Joosty.” 

“You don’t?” He gets up from your lap, sitting next to you, and brings his face close to yours. “You should, because you are.” 

Your noses are brushing, and even in the midst of your racing thoughts, you can't help but smile at him. His face grows into a smile, and you come forward and kiss him, deeply; you know it takes him by surprise, how he takes a little to kiss back, like trying to learn each other again. Nonetheless, he kisses back, holding your face in his hands, grinning into it—he's so pleased, so content, you know it by how sweetly he holds you. 

The TV becomes background noise to you, the air conditioner no use with how hot you feel when you move to sit atop him in his lap, one of his hands on the small of your back, the other on your ass as you grind down on him, licking into his mouth. 

“You're so tense,” Joost says when you pull away, thumbs rubbing into your back where there are sure to be knots in your muscles. 

You roll your eyes. “Can you blame me?” you snicker and he smiles. 

“I’ll relieve some tension for you, then.” 

Nothing but a few layers of clothes separate you—he smells so good, tastes so good, feels so good that you pull away, run your hands underneath his shirt, feeling his warm body, his stomach. You move to take it off of him, and he’s a step ahead of you, taking it off himself and attaching his lips to yours again, like a magnet. 

“You’re not wasting any time,” he says as you rest your hands on his chest and kiss down his stubble covered jaw to his neck, on top of Lola Bunny and back up again. 

“I need you, Joost,” you breathe in between kisses, and he pulls back and groans which makes you giggle, “What is that supposed to mean?” 

“You can't just say that, oh my god,” Joost whines, looking up at you pathetically, pupils blown and lips swollen from yours. “That’s so hot,” he laughs, and it makes you laugh too, how ridiculous he is. “Fuck, I love you.” He comes back in for one more kiss before he shifts so you can lay down on the couch, and he's on top of you, kissing again. He helps you shimmy down your shorts, your underwear, and in no time—his hand is between your legs.

“I would have taken it slow but—I’m too excited,” he breathes. You palm his hard cock through his shorts, coaxing a sigh out of him. Joost hovers above, leaning on one elbow and using the other hand to run his fingers through your slit, wetting them with how aroused you are. Involuntarily, your legs twitch, your breath catches in your mouth, and Joost gives you a soft laugh. “You’re so sensitive, schat.” Fingers still touching you so gently, he noses at your cheek—you’re a hairpin trigger, how reactive you are to him. “Has it been that long?” 

Breathless, you nod as he presses his thumb to your clit, petting at it. “Too long, I was waiting for you.”

“I could say the same for you.” 

You sit up, pushing up against him, still kissing like you can’t bear to be separated from him, but he pulls back from you—brings two fingers to his mouth, wetting them with his spit, and the sight brings your heart to your stomach with how arousing it is. 

Sure, Joost sends videos; yes, you have…homemade…videos of your own between the two of you; his deep voice through the speaker in your late night Facetimes, talking you through it or his incessant compliments when you send him some pictures of your own. 

Nothing compares to the real thing—the smell of his cologne on his collar even after he’s taken a shower; his blonde hair in your eyes as he kisses you; holding onto his strong arms as he fingers you, the wet sound music to your ears though normally, it would make you sheepish at how filthy this all is.  

Sometimes it makes you laugh that the random guy you met with a Crazy Frog tattoo on his forearm is now your boyfriend, but it feels so serious now more than ever. You realize now how much you’ve missed him, and how much you’ve pushed down that feeling in favor of everything else. 

Joost crooks his fingers inside of you and you moan into his mouth, which he smiles at. “You like it?” he asks, both of you knowing the answer. He knows you so well, inside and out. Knows that spot inside of you that renders you unable to speak, how to hit it just right like it’s muscle memory to fuck you with his fingers. He rubs your clit at the same time, using his spit and your wetness to do so, and God—you wish never leaving this spot was an option. 

Your climax fast approaches you; Joost kissing at the side of your lips, your chin because you’re too lost in your pleasure to kiss back. With a few more pumps of his fingers, he brings you there, a choked moan tumbling from your mouth as you cum, almost falling into him as he takes you through the last waves of your orgasm. “Thank you,” you breathe, pressing a deep kiss to his lips again now that you have the ability to. 

“Thanking me? Nothing to thank me for,” he says, but you shake your head.

“I disagree,” you say quietly, palming over his erection once more now that you’ve gathered yourself. “I have everything to thank you for,” you think, but can’t say out loud. You move so you can be on your knees on the ground in between his legs. It’s been quite a bit, enough so that the program on the TV is completely different now, the AC has turned off—he’s still so hard, still hasn’t been taken care of.

You're about to lower his shorts, take him into your mouth, but Joost takes your hand and says, “Can we skip it? I wanna be inside of you, lieverd.” 

Almost a whisper, you reply, “Whatever you want,” nodding, and he cocks his head to the side in confusion.

“You’re so quiet today. Is anything wrong?” He can read you like a book, the furrowing of your brow at his suggestion an easy giveaway. 

“Nothing’s the matter,” you lie, but he still looks disbelieving. “I just wanted to give you something back.”

“This is something back and more, baby. Lie down.” 

You do, too tired to argue for your side—the side that wants to give Joost everything you have and more, pay him back for the time you’ve been so absent, so distracted from your relationship and all the things Joost had been doing in the time away. It’s not as if you don’t want to lie down and have him fuck you—it’s just that you feel that you haven’t earned it yet. 

Your body language gives you away—“Still so tense, lieverd,” he says, squeezing your shoulder as you adjust, legs on either side of his thighs. “You sure you want to do this?” 

“Of course I do,” you purr, because of course you do, reaching into his briefs—Joost Klein branded, of course—and pulling his cock out, jerking it a few times and making him groan with the sensation. “You're so sensitive,” you quote him from earlier. “Has it been that long, schat?” 

The pet name makes his cock twitch; a month away, hard work on his album and music videos, content and marketing, coming back home to his favourite girl gazing at him starry-eyed with a hand around his dick and ready to take him inside. If you peered into his mind, this is what he’d be thinking. No thoughts match your worried thinking about how you may or may not have let him down—you didn’t. That would be impossible, at least to him. 

“Much too long.” 

You rest your head on a throw pillow that Joost has laid for you, and he lines himself up with your entrance. Fingertips on his stomach, you stop him for a few seconds from coming forward, and you wrap your hand around his shaft, swiping it through your slit a few times, collecting your wetness and his pre-cum on the head of his cock.

Loudly, he swears in Dutch, and the latter half sounds more like a strangled whisper than any real word. “You…fuck, my god…you are evil,” he laughs, even though he’s now rubbing the head of it against your clit, making you mewl. 

“You ready for me?” he asks, and you nod, licking your lips, trying to control your breathing. Your initial apprehension is long gone, though it could creep back every second—who cares? You’re finally together again. “You’re so wet,” Joost breathes as he eases the head of his cock into you. The stretch is something to get used to after so long away, but he gives time for you to adjust—seems like he might need it more than you do, how he sucks a breath in through gritted teeth, the snail’s pace he's going at. “I might cum right now.” 

“You promise?” you tease, watching the slow slide of his cock inside of you, watching just like he is. 

“I might have to promise with how this is going.” 

“You can do it,” you giggle and then moan because he's managed to fit half of his length into you. “I believe in you.” 

“Yay,” Joost smiles as he bottoms out in you, then gives you a kiss. “We did it!”

He holds his hand up for a high-five and you laugh—”I’m not high-fiving you while you're inside me.” 

“When has that ever stopped you before?”  

Rolling your eyes, you give him the high-five he so desperately wants and he beams at you with a toothy grin. “Never, I guess.” 

“Never,” Joost repeats, and then straightens up. You look up at him through your eyelashes—his mullet is mussed from the tangles of your fingers through his hair, his chest moving steadily up and down with the exertion of this all.  He moves your legs so your left ankle rests on his shoulder, the right wrapped around his hips. 

His hand creeps up your shirt, and you do the rest, exposing your tits to him. Joost is normally so clumsy, so heavy-handed—what a contrast that he can be so calm dragging his fingertips around your nipple, making it pebble in the cold.

He cups your cheek after you moan, then runs his tattooed knuckles down it, slips his thumb between your lips and hooks it on your teeth momentarily—you chase  it, but he continues down your chest and to your belly until his thumb is finally back on your clit and circling it slowly. 

The drag of his cock out of you is wonderful, so wonderful it makes you shudder when he does it, combined with his terribly slow treatment of your clit.

“My baby, did you miss me?” Joost says softly, kissing at your calf, your ankle as he sinks back into you. The sensation robs you of a response, a sigh tumbling out of your mouth before you can stop it, but he takes it as a response enough.  The smile on his face—the beauty mark under his lip, those deep dimples so prominent—you could never tire of it. “I missed you more, schatje.”

It feels so good, it feels like heaven being with him again. He comes back from such a busy time in his life, where you’ve done little, and all he has is praise and warmth and affection for you—fingers you within an inch of your life and doesn’t even ask for anything in return, just takes care of you in the way you need most. 

You know that he benefits from this just as much as you do—this isn’t so one-sided. But your brain is so frazzled from this last month, the nerve endings fried and in want of a fuck up to cling to like they have been whenever you’ve made a mistake at work, in class, in your relationship. 

Joost interrupts your thoughts: “I was so happy to see you on the steps, I could’ve sprinted to you if I wasn’t wearing those damn shoes.”

All of the times that you forgot to reply to Joost, getting a text saying your name and a sad face right after; the times where you were too distracted to give him your full attention and could only hum your acknowledgement to him, having to be reminded about what he said later; that one time just a few days ago you fell asleep on call with him in the middle of him excitedly speaking about a breakthrough with a bridge on the most important song of the album. 

The pleasure you felt earlier is now overshadowed by your racing thoughts. 

“I wrote a song about you, you know?” Joost says, his voice so gentle. I was only going to let you know when the album came out, but I can’t keep a secret.” Rocking against you, his pelvis rubs against your clit and it makes you cling to his shoulders. “The voice memo I sent you earlier—it was my first draft, just me. Did you like it?” 

“You…you wrote a song about me?” 

Only now do you remember the voice memo Joost sent you in the morning when you were still cleaning, the one that you saw and made a fleeting mental note to reply to later on, which you promptly forgot as you vacuumed, dusted, folded. 

Such misplaced priorities, and now you're paying the sad price.

“Joost,” you say, eyebrows screwing up, that all too familiar pulling feeling behind your nose and eyes—you realize quickly that all of the emotions bottled up inside of you from the past month have come out with vengeance at the new knowledge of Joost’s song about you. The knowledge wouldn’t have been new if you just paid more attention. 

You try to hold it back, pushing down the feelings again, but it just won’t work. All of it spilling over at the worst possible time, tears streaming down your face before you even know it. You fail to wipe the wetness from your cheeks—Joost stops his movements, asks in a panicked and concerned voice, “Oh my—are you crying, schat?”

Attempting to pull it together once more, you cover your face with your hands and shake your head silently, but your already sniffly nose sells you out. Your shoulders shake with your crying. Too far gone now. 

“I wanted—“ you sniffle, and he hands you a tissue from the side table for you to blow your nose into as he stumbles out and off of you. “I wanted to be with you tonight, but I just—so much—I never—I never listened to your memo, I couldn’t, I had to finish so much before you got here and I couldn’t and I feel so bad, like, you wrote a song about me and I didn’t even have the time to listen—” 

“Shh, shh, shh, shh,” Joost coos, brushing your hair out of your eyes as you sob. “Baby, please.” His expression is so concerned, eyebrows furrowed as he pats your back. “Wait, shit,” he says, getting up from the couch and looking down at his still bare bottom half. “Let me put everything back on, I’m sorry schatje, give me—“ In a hurry, he puts his underwear and shorts back on, tripping over himself and almost falling over. “I just can’t do this naked, I’m sorry.” 

That brings a laugh out of you and a laugh out of him, and you start explaining as he sits back down next to you, rubbing your arm. “I don’t—I don’t deserve you.” You shake your head, wiping your eyes with the backs of your hands. “I should’ve listened to what you sent me, I should’ve been there more.” 

“Bro,” he deadpans, beckoning you to come and sit on his lap. 

You do, still trying to get the tears out of your eyes as you settle into his arms. “Shut up, don’t call me bro while I’m crying,” you laugh, voice weak but lighthearted.

“Bro. I will do it again.” Joost gives you a second to let it out more, to breathe as he smooths his hands back and forth on your back. “You did everything perfectly, lieverd. Perfectly. We were both so busy, and you still made time to call me and text me. I would have been lost without you, I know for certain.” 

You shake your head. “I forgot to reply and pick up your texts so many times, Joost, I felt like such a bad person for doing so.” 

“You did? I didn’t notice. All I cared about was that you replied.  You’re not a bad person at all,” Joost says, and the sweetness of his words just make you want to cry more. “I appreciate more from you the effort that you put into everything, into what we have. Not what you couldn’t or didn’t do.” 

“You’re so nice,” you whisper, sniffling. You can’t think of a better compliment with how overwhelmed you are, so you kiss him, instead, and he kisses back. Even with this, you can tell how gentle Joost is holding your cracked pieces back together. 

“I’m nice?” he asks, smiling. “Best compliment I’ve ever gotten.” For a little, you both sit there in the silence together. “How about this—tomorrow, we can have a day to ourselves. You can lounge and study by the pool, and I’ll be your little butler or whoever and we can just relax for a bit, hm? Order food, drink, smoke, whatever.” Pausing, he grins. “We can even listen to the whole album, if you want.”

“You finished it?” you ask, sitting up more and incredulous. That’s complete news to you.

“This morning, right before I flew back here,” Joost says, nodding proudly. “I also texted you, but duty calls, no?” 

“You texted me?” He texted you? And you missed it?!?!? Again, the new information makes you cry, and he holds you tight as you do. “You should be mad that I didn’t see it,” you say in between dry heaves into his shoulder. “I’m so proud of you.” 

“I could never be mad at you, lieverd, and I’m sorry I made you cry again,” he says, rubbing your back, petting your hair. “I just wanted to let you know when I did it—it was just a timestamp, that doesn’t mean you needed to know right that second.” 

“But I wanted to know.” 

“You know now, and I know how proud you are of me. That’s enough, that’s even more than what I wanted.” You trust him and his words so fully, every passing second with him is another way to help you feel better. “I love you,” Joost says your name so seriously, a punctuation to his love letter. “I mean it.” 

“I love you too.” You kiss him, deeply, moments passing that you use to thank everything you can that he’s so good with your worries, your anxieties. “I’ll take you up on that offer for tomorrow, Joost,” you say, finally calmed down enough. Your eyes are incredibly bleary—you didn’t know that was possible. But at least you aren’t actively crying anymore. “Thank you for everything.” 

“Thank you for giving me something more to look forward to, schat. Now—let’s go run a bath together and listen to my song for you.” 

[cripplecharacters]

For reference, I'm autistic but I'm not physically disabled. I'm wondering if I'm playing into some bad stereotypes with one of my disabled characters. She's primarily a wheelchair user, but she can walk short distances with mobility aids. Basically, she's always visibly disabled.

I gave her quite a few of my own traits (and accidentally made her autistic in the process). One of these traits is I made her aroace. But now I'm thinking it's maybe not the best idea to have an autistic wheelchair user be explicitly uninterested in sex and romance when there's a lot of stereotypes about both groups being uninterested in / incapable of these things. Emphasis on the wheelchair user aspect since that part of her character isn't drawing on my own experiences in the slightest.

If it helps, she's not the only autistic character or the only visibly disabled character in the story. But she is the only wheelchair user, and the only character who's explicitly aspec.

Her being aromantic is pretty essential to her character and storyline, but her being asexual isn't really. I could probably change her sexuality without changing too much else about her. So I guess my main questions are:

1. If I keep her aroace is there anything else I can add to help avoid too many stereotypes regarding sex and romance for wheelchair users?

2. Would making her allosexual help with the situation or would I just be removing an important aspect of representation without doing anything to improve the negative stereotypes?

Thanks for the help

Hello!

While there are stereotypes about physically disabled people not having sex, it's usually more in the realm of "disabled people don't have sex" or "disabled people can't have sex" rather than being about asexuality or aromanticism specifically.

There are stereotypes about autistic people being aromantic or asexual but, as with most stereotypes, there will always be people that fit their description. Their existence is just as important as somebody who doesn't necessarily fit those stereotypes.

This is to say, if your character is aroace and disabled, good for them! That's completely fine, there's nothing wrong with that.

If you are still worried, you could always add more aspec characters or more wheelchair users, though I honestly wouldn't worry too much.

You could also consider having her talk a bit about her experiences being aroace, even if it's just a few throwaway lines here and there. That would help solidify it as being part of her individual identity rather than equating being disabled with being aspec.

In general, though, I don't see anything wrong with this character.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

Hey! I strongly agree with Icarus on adding another wheelchair user that's not aroace. There's nothing wrong with having a disabled aroace character, but it's hard to ignore the fact that often autistic and physically disabled characters get to be the ones headcanoned as aroace because of the "physically disabled/autistic people don't have sex nor romance" stereotype.

Coming from someone disabled and on the aroace spectrum: disabled characters who are aroace are cool, but having disabled characters coincidentally always be the only asexual and/or sex repulsed ones is certainly frustrating. Just put in some variety and you will be good.

If you do want her to be asexual and not add any other character, it would be interesting to see her identities actually intersecting. Does she ever feel "like a stereotype" for being autistic and not being interested in dating? Same thing but for being a wheelchair user who doesn't want sex? Maybe gets annoyed when people assume that her asexuality is caused by her disability, or when interacting with people who just presume that she doesn't have sex/romantic relationships because she's autistic and uses a wheelchair, and not because she's aromantic and asexual? Basically anything to give her depth as a character who is all these things so it doesn't seem like she just got the "default orientation" that disabled characters often end up with in LGBT media.

mod Sasza

[mikuni14]

Wandee Goodday - Ep 1

The long awaited first episode of Wandee Goodday is finally here, I'm sure I wasn't the only one who had been chanting "save me Wandee Goodday, Wandee Goodday save me" for the past few months lol

What I liked:

lots of humor, especially in the 4/4 part I laughed non-stop, although I must admit that a lot of the laughter was from second-hand embarrassment 🙈

Great and Inn are just beautiful (it's good that Great has loose clothes now, I was always worried about the buttons on his super tight uniform in MoD, fighting for their lives)

Thor and Fluke are also lovely, I really like the fact that their characters are already a couple and are completely in love with each other (and horny for each other 🔥) and so open about it

side characters add a lot to scenes, even if they appear for a moment, like a salesman offering technical advice on sex, or a doctor who sprays water on naughty subordinates, also nurses!

I really like Dee as a doctor, as an employee who doesn't let himself be treated like shit by clients and as a friend. He is nice, strong, confident, reliable and capable. Which is in stark contrast to how hopeless and lame he is in his love and sex life 🙈

I like how Yak and Dee felt an immediate physical attraction to each other, which is fighting against an equally immediate strong dislike lol The natural flow they have in their relationship: from physical attraction, through fights caused by negative circumstances, to the night spent together shows that this kind of relationship can be done, without humiliation bordering on bullying, as it's between Phum and Peem in We Are

I really like Yak who can just… stop when he has any suspicion that his partner is not fully in the moment, not fully sure. It was so cool, no forcing Dee to continue by putting pressure on him, making him feel "guilty", no awkwardness, complete chill. I like it when sex is treated so casually that even if nothing happens, the partners just sit and talk and there is no sense of pressure, everything is just so... normal and chill. I loved it.

Kao as a friend, a sidekick, a "token lgbt friend of the main character" 😄, who has his own life and although he is very funny, he is not a serial clown and comic relief, as is often the case. And he is asexual with credible dating problems. So interesting! Also: Drake 💖

I feel kind of vindictive happy that my most hated trope, wiping food from the mouth of the "love interest", is shown here as messing with Dee and giving him false hope for a relationship (?) The day this trope dies will be the day I win. I plan to get drunk when this happen hehe (vain hopes, of course, this disgusting trope will never die)

What I have a few, teeny-tiny reservations about:

at this point I don't really understand Ter's motivation: was he deliberately seducing Dee, or was he just too chummy with him, which he misinterpreted? Not that it matters tho...

8 years of all this? oh Dee… 🙈 (I love how Kao described this pathetic situation in just a few words)

I also don't really like making Dee a silly kid and a 🤡 when it comes to love and sex, especially since he's shown in other scenes where he's a full adult. He's a grown man with a serious profession, so it felt weird watching him as if he were a 15-year-old kid in a slapstick comedy. I get that there's a comedic element to it and it was funny and I was laughing, but the amount of cringe and second-hand embarrassment was downright overwhelming at some point. What is fine as convention in MSP or Only Boo no longer looks so good in series about adults

the comedy of the sex scene completely stripped away the hotness of these scenes, ngl

the above comments are not complaints, they are just loose observations. It was only the first episode after all 😉

Overall, the series started well, I had a great time watching it, I laughed a lot, the characters are cool and very attractive, Great has the body of a young god 🔥 I can't wait for their first kiss and a truly hot night - with fun, but no comedy. What a wasted opportunity for them not to watch MANNER OF DEATH and the uniform buttons! hanging for dear life! Like seriously, it was right there 😤

The series is very pretty, just look at those aesthetic shots in a public toilet:

Omg, this guy:

Me:

Me 🤝 Dee about coffee:

(I shouldn't pick on Dee, if someone brought me coffee just the way I like it, I'd be as stupid as him 😑)

One of my 457,869 screen shots of this man, gosh, he's so fine:

[kimmiessimmies]

Personal post

This will probably be the most non-Sims related post I've put on this blog ever. I'll put most of it under a cut, so you can choose whether or not to read it. The thing is, I could use some advice. And asking strangers from all over the world advice on something important might be weird, but you are also my community, so I value your opinions. Don't worry, this isn't a "Kim being depressed" kinda post. 😉 It's a work thing.

Upfront: This post is about me being unhappy in my current well-paid job and my search for something that makes me happy. It might come across sounding a bit entitled, since I know there are many people who would be happy to have any job, just so they can pay their bills. I'm sorry if this post triggers that, and I know I'm privileged to even be in this situation. ❤️

TL/DR: Do I stay in a well-paid, secure job that doesn't bring happiness and actually negatively affects my mental health because of it? Or: Do I take the plunge into the unknown and give up the securities I have now for something that could potentially (but not guaranteed) not only make me happy but bring me opportunities as well?

Okay, here's the deal. Currently, I work in education. I've been teaching for 19 years, and for the last 3 years, I've held the position that best translates to special needs coordinator at the school where I've been all of my working life. In short, my job entails making sure the teachers have the tools they need to help all kids in their classes with special educational needs, to make sure each child ends up in the right form of education fitting their needs and dealing a lot with difficult or even alarming home situations. My job can be rewarding at times, and challenging at others. Aside from this, I've been part of the management team at my school for almost 8 years. I work at a big school. It wasn't big when I started there, but it's big now. I have a degree in Early Childhood Education, and that's also the age group I've always dealt with. It's the age group I've always taught, and it's the age group currently under my supervision in the position I'm now.

This past year, I've struggled with my mental health, as I've mentioned before, and have not been at work fully for a while. My therapist and I established that while work is "okay", it's also not bringing me joy anymore while my job was once the happiest and most passionate thing I did. Right now, it's blah. This position is not one that really suits me, yet I don't want to go back to teaching either. I've been there, done that. Add to that the fact that, come September, my boss requires me to change my position slightly. I'd be doing the same thing I do now, but for an older age group. This has given me a lot of stomach aches, because the thing that still drives me to do my job now is the fact that I'm doing it geared towards the youngest kids in school.

All in all, the job is not bringing me happiness in the slightest anymore. Having said that, I know a lot of people do jobs that don't make them happy, but it pays the bills, so let's suck it up and just do it. Which is fine, I can do that too, except my mental health suffers...

However, there are a few good things about this job too:

The pay is really good

I have lovely colleagues

I have a lot of credits here because I've been here for so long. They know my worth

I have a very understanding boss who's been nothing short of wonderful during my depression

(If you're still with me, thank you for reading this essay all the way, it's appreciated 💗)

My therapist asked me, "If money weren't a factor, what would you be doing?" My answer was "write." More specifically, I just want to stay home all day and work on ATOH, but no one is going to pay me for that. 😄 So, write, or do a job in which writing plays a role. So, she advised me to start looking for jobs that fit that description. It was a rather depressing search. Most jobs that came close to what I'd like to do require degrees or diplomas I don't have.

And then I suddenly stumbled upon something: Assistent Project Manager at a small, but well established company that creates educational projects (usually based on children's books), books and materials geared towards early childhood education in particular, and currently expanding to do the same for education to older kids as well.

I felt like I had found the holy grail. This is writing, this is editing, this is being creative, this is working with authors, but it's also closely related to early childhood education, the thing I know so well. Despite still being semi depressed, I felt like I needed to at least give this a shot. So, I wrote a letter, enclosed my resume, and waited. I didn't have to wait long, because a few days later I got an invite for an interview.

I went for the interview and was welcomed at a small and very homely office space (with an office cat!). We had a good talk and I left happy. They invited me to do a "trial day" with them, which is what I'll be doing today. They've had a lot of applicants for this position, but from the contact we've had since, it seems like I stand a good chance.

Sounds like a no-brainer? Perhaps, unless you have my brain... Because there are doubts:

Pay. This job pays quite a bit less than my current one. I'm a single parent and therefore sole breadwinner in my household. Currently, I make quite good money because I've been in this job for a long time and hold a relatively high position in the organisation. We can pay the bills, go on holidays, and even splurge occasionally (for example, the very pricey laptop I bought a few months ago). With this job, I would still make enough to pay the bills and go on holidays, but I will need to keep an eye on the money, and there won't be splurging for a while. I do know this sounds like a luxury problem to some.

Job security. In my current job, I'm under a fixed contract. Basically, unless I royally fuck up, I can't be fired. With this job I'd start on a year contract. After that year, they can either decide to give me another year or let me go. This won't just be if I mess up, but also if they decide I'm not the best person for the job after all, or if I don't fit in with their small, close-knit team. Worst case scenario; they let me go, and I'll have to go back to education and probably teach again.

These doubts are few, but strong. So, basically, like I already said above: do I stay in a well-paid, secure job that doesn't bring happiness and actually negatively affects my mental health because of it? Or: do I take the plunge into the unknown and give up the securities I have now for something that could potentially (but not guaranteed) not only make me happy but bring me opportunities as well (since it's publishing)?

I don't need anyone to actually answer those questions, but those are the wonderings on my mind I wanted to write down. Thanks for reading. ❤️

[nomoreusername]

The First Tears (Part 2)

Pairing:Gally x gender neutral reader

Summary:After Zart keeps pointing out exactly how well you and Gally fit, you decide to talk to him.

I looked over at Zart and tried to listen to what he was saying. Honestly. I just wasn't doing a very good job.

"Are you still upset about Gally?"He asked, pulling me back to reality.

"I couldn't care less,"I shrugged, lying straight through my teeth. It was obvious that he knew I was too.

"You know the one bad thing about you two?"He asked after a moment.

"Just one? You're telling me there's only one bad thing you can think of?"I asked, not knowing if he was being serious. Judging by the expression on his face he was.

"You're both stubborn. You're so much alike sometimes that it drives this wedge between you guys. The way you're both always wanting to be right and never willing to be the first to say you were wrong shucks you both over."

"That's not even true,"I scoffed.

"Why?"He questioned, like the answer wasn't obvious.

"Because I didn't do anything wrong,"I defended.

He looked me up and down, clearly telling me I had just heavily contradicted myself. I wasn't though. Honestly.

"I didn't,"I protested.

"Y/N, do you know what's the hard part about love?"He asked.

"What do you know about that?"I asked, knowing he'd never been in a relationship.

"I may not remember life before this, but I remember feelings. So stop being stubborn and hear me out,"He instructed.

I didn't say anything as I dug my shovel into the ground. His words felt a little too real, too true. "And I know you miss him,"He added. I was about to deny it when he passed by us. My eyes felt glued to him for just a second. He looked back at me, and I tried to pretend I didn't hurt as I looked back at the ground. I didn't want to know how he was looking at me, anger, sadness, irritation. No matter what if any negative emotion was directed at me seeing it would kill me inside.

"Fine,"I sighed, hoping he'd move on if I just agree.

"Love means compromise, and sometimes that means doing things you don't think is fair. If you listen to each other though then you could understand each other's side. That's how you meet in the middle."

"Just try. He might just surprise you,"Zart pushed. At that moment it occurred to me that maybe he was right. After all, he knew me better than almost everyone. As my best friend that was obvious. Only one person could beat him.

Only Gally could truly read me like the back of his hand. I've trusted him for as long as I can remember, and it feels like I've loved him even longer. Ever since I came up in the box I felt drawn to him.

So yeah. I need to at least try to talk to him.

♡ - - - ♡

I nervously glanced around as my eyes fixated on Gally who was sitting alone under the Watch Tower. Zart lightly shoved my forward. Naturally, I was scared out of my mind.

Still, I walked over to him. He didn't acknowledge my presence for a while as I stood there with my hands at my sides.

"Nothing,"He mumbled after a moment. I just looked at him, confused.

Can I sit?"I finally asked. He shrugged, and I did so. "Look. I know neither of us are exactly the best with feelings and all that, but I mean, I can try. I just don't get why you always think I want someone but you. It hurts because I do love you. Not anybody else. You were always the first choice. It just feels like you don't believe me when I say that. It just seems like you don't trust me,"I explained.

"You asked what you get in return for loving me, and I don't think there really is anything,"He continued.

"Oh,"I said, not knowing what else to say. We just stayed with dead silence for a while until I couldn't take it anymore.

"It's not that I don't trust you. It's just that I know people don't exactly think I'm the most deserving of you. I'm worried that one day you'll think the same thing. It would kill me to lose you. I guess I did though."

"Gally. I don't care what anyone has to say. They don't see what I do. They don't understand all the parts of you I love. The kind, the bold, the good listener, the protective, and everything else. I wouldn't trade that for anything. I guess I did though."

"I'm sorry I made you think I didn't trust you."

"I'm sorry for not taking your feelings more seriously. From now on I'll listen to you more. If you wanted to get back together I mean,"I said, adding the last part quickly.

"Yeah. I'd like that more than anything,"He responded, failing to hide his smile. "Hey. Do you still remember what this spot is?"He asked suddenly.

"Better than anything else. It's where we had our first kiss."

"So what if-"

"Just shut up, and kiss me,"I interrupted.

And he did just that. Only it wasn't a kiss. It was a promise that no matter what every road we take always leads back to each other.

[count-alucard-tepes]

King👑x Reader

An unexpected encounter...

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Y/N had been part of the Big Mom pirates since she was 11 years old after being washed up on shore. Her unique black feathered wings was all Big Mom needed to be convinced that the child would be useful to her crew and she was taken in. Her most beloved son, Katakuri took the child under his 'wing' and she soon worked her way under his guidance until she was second in command of his crew.

It had been 20 years since that day.

Y/N had just reached the ship when she saw her Commander and smiled brightly, he was so amazing in her eyes and just the best person ever! She'd quickly go to his side, "...you look exceptionally sweet today, Katakuri-san", she said with a big smile.

He'd look down at her and roll his eyes, "...your sarcasm is going to be the death of me, Y/N....let's go, I haven't briefed you on our mission today".

Y/N would huff in response, "...that was me complimenting you! I wasn't even trying to be sarcastic for once!", she said as she followed him onto the ship.

"...that’s what you get for always being a smart ass then", he'd say with a teasingly tone as an older brother would do to a younger sibling.

"...hm...fine, where are you going today? Valley of the Gods to meet our ends?", she asked as she folded her arms across her chest.

He glared at her and tsked, "...see...always got to be a smart ass with a sarcastic mouth".

Y/N pouted and refused to talk anymore until he told her about the mission.

"...so in light of Big Mom's alliance with Kaido...his first in command is meeting us to give us weapons and what not...I've never had the pleasure of meeting him but...I don't have any high hopes either for it to be a pleasant encounter...he can fly like you...so maybe you both can fly around and become friends".

Y/N stomped her foot, "...ah see who's being sarcastic now!".

He couldn't help but chuckle a little before composing himself, "...I'd prefer you just follow my lead...don't need you to start a fight for nothing".

Y/N just pouted even more and turned away from him, "...you're so mean! I always end battles I start!", she said her flame on her back grew a little more with her increasing emotions.

"...before you set the ship on fire, do I need to throw you in the ocean?", he asked teasingly.

Y/N quickly stopped her flame and nodded negatively, "No! My wings will get all wet...you know what happens when I do...especially with salt water...".

"...good girl...", he said before going on his merienda, leaving the young woman to pout.

It wouldn't be long before they would arrive on the island and King's ship was spotted, however he was no where to be seen.

"...apparently he flew out all of a sudden...works out for us since we wouldn't have to encounter him", Katakuri said as the exchange of goods started.

Y/N looked around and nodded, "...I'm going to explore the island and then stretch my wings...don't wait for me, I'll fly back to the ship when I'm ready", she said as she began walking into the forested area.

"...be safe...", Katakuri murmured as he watched her before going back to the ship. He knew she could handle himself....but something at the back of his mind made him worry for her safety especially now that King was MIA.

The island wasn’t part of Big Mom’s territory so naturally they were nervous when they saw one of her pirates on their island but Y/N didn’t pose a threat and would just buy some watermelon before tapping at a little stores window, “…do you have any black hair dye any chance? It’s kind of an emergency “, she said with a smile as she took a lock of hair with a free hand and smiled weakly.

“…yes, my wife could apply it for you if you like…she’s a barber but she does get the occasional lady client too”, the shop owner said gently.

This was unexpected, Y/N never really encountered nice people outside of Big Mom’s territory so it was rather refreshing.

“…sure…I don’t think I’d fit inside…so maybe she could do it outside while I eat my watermelon”, Y/N said gently as the shop owner realized that she stood 4 meters tall!

Y/N sat on the grass, cross legged as the lady washed her hair and took off the remaining dye, only to reveal her white hair, “…your hair is so beautiful…why do you dye it?”, the lady asked as Y/N smiled weakly.

“…I never really thought it suited me…so I always dyed it even as a girl…and it matches my wings when it’s black so it’s looks pretty cool”, she said as she stuffed her face with more watermelon.

Little did she know, flying right above her was King who had seen her hair and heard the entire conversation.

Before the lady could even start applying the dye, a gush of wind suddenly dropped it all on the floor.

Y/N froze for a minute, that was not a normal gush of wind…she knew that all too well and would look up to make eye contact with King the Wildfire.

“…you asshole! What was that for!?”, she said as she stood up and glared at him, “…you could literally flap your wings anywhere but you had to do it when this nice lady was helping me out!”.

The fire on his back grew wilder and that silenced Y/N, why…was it similar to hers?

“…where did you come from, girl?”, he questioned as he landed with a loud thud and began closing the distance between himself and Y/N. The town’s people began hurrying off away as they knew this could end terribly.

Y/N gripped the hilt of her sword as she stepped backwards, “…that is no concern of yours…”, she said calmly, sensing the vibe he was giving was off. Immediately, she’d distance herself from him and fly off but he was hot on her heels and before she knew it, he grabbed onto her ankle and dragged her into the dense forest.

Both crashing into a fresh water stream, Y/N groaned as she got up and realized her sword was gone. Not too far from her stood King who seemingly recovered from the crash a lot faster than she did.

“….what the fuck is your problem!? You could have killed us both!”, she said angrily as she flapped her wings to make sure they were not hurt but they were soaked…there was no way she could fly now until they dried.

This time, King wasted no time and closed the distance between them, grabbing her by the throat and lifted her off her feet, “….where the fuck did you come from!? Answer me!”.

Y/N kicked at him and punched him as best as she could, eventually trying to pull at his fingers to release her neck.

He took every hit from her before his patience started to thin and his eyes narrowed, “TELL ME!?”, he roared.

“…r…red…line”, she finally said when his grip finally loosen.

Before he could even say or do anything further, a spear grazed the top off his arm and immediately he let go of Y/N who hit the ground with a loud thud as she gasped for air.

With a moment spared, mochi engulfed her body and retracted to its owner, Katakuri who held her close to him, “…relax, Y/N…I’m here now”, he whispered to her soothingly as she clung onto him with tears in her eyes.

He turned his attention back at King, “…you attacked my second in command…that is a threat in itself towards our emperors’ truce…”, he said calmly as King glared right back at him before turning away.

“…I have no issues with you, Katakuri…and I do not plan to”, he said calmly as he took off to the skies, looking over his shoulder at Y/N one last time before heading off to his ship.

Katakuri carried Y/N back to the ship and tended to her wounds, “…what happened?”, he asked quietly.

Y/N sighed softly, “…he attacked me first, he just saw me and started questioning me about where I came from…and things just escalated”.

“…and your hair…”, he said waiting for her to confirm what he already knew.

She blushed when she realized that it was now completely white, “…oh no! I hate it like this…”, she said before grabbing a pillow and covering it up as best she could.

“…so it’s like that naturally then…”, he said gently.

“…yeah…”, she said quietly as she didn’t want to make eye contact with him.

“…and you’re from Red Line?”, he asked.

She nodded before looking at him with hesitation written all over her face.

He simply nodded before patting her knee, “…I’ll get you some dye once we are home…but it does suit you a lot more though”.

She blushed a little, “…really? You think so?”, she asked as she took the pillow down and he just nodded a little.

“…get some rest, I’ll wake you up when we arrive”, he said gently as he headed to the door and closed it behind him.

She laid on the bed for a moment to process everything that had just happened before falling asleep.

Katakuri stood on the deck as he looked out at the ocean. What had happened was not good at all. He knew King was extremely dangerous and did not understand why he would attack Y/N and question her so brutally…everyone who knew about the Lunarians, also knew they were a dead race but here was Y/N.

So what was King’s problem?

He sighed softly, he needed to make sure Y/N was never near King again…no matter the cost.

((Let me know if you guys want a part 2!😆 I made her in her 30’s because King is 48 and I wanted them to have a closer age gap and 4 meters tall so that they are somewhat proportionate))

[zoeykallus]

Okay. So, this is a bit weird. But maybe the Bad Batch (+ Gregor?) when their s/o is VERY protective over their baby when it's born? Even though it's the Batcher's kid too, s/o stares intently at them holding baby to make sure nothing bad happens, won't leave the baby's side, can hardly sleep because they are so on edge about something happening to baby when they aren't around, and is wary and tense about Batcher taking care of them?

I mean, I know the boys would do a good job, but I find myself doing this with my little brother when we was younger, my cousins, and friends kids - I get so overprotective because I'm scared something will happen, and anyone other than me and the Mom, I can get...pissy/snarly/angry when baby and I are separated. I have absolutely no clue why this happens?

But if it's not too much trouble, I would love to know how the boys would react. I am...a spicy, hot mess sometimes 😅

Aloha! 😊

I've heard of this phenomenon before, but I don't know exactly where it comes from. Though, I think it's called 'postpartum maternal separation anxiety' or it is a form of it.

I should utter a warning, I have no idea (experience) about motherhood, or parenthood (and I don't want to 😅 ), at least not first hand!

Nevertheless, I could be able to estimate how the boys react to it. Let me see… Most of this is not going to be very fluffy though. Sorry, I'm trying 😅

The Bad Batch/ Gregor x Reader HCs - The Overprotective Parent

_____________________

Warning: Angsty/Tiny bit of fluff and comfort

_____________________

Hunter

He is so confused that he says nothing at first when you carefully but impatiently take the baby out of his arms.

"Is something wrong?" he finally asks alertly.

"Everything's fine."

Hunter frowns, clearly sensing something is wrong, as he approaches you and the child again to touch it, you pull back from him.

"This is my child too," he says calmly but with his brows drawn together critically, "What do you think will happen if I touch it?"

You sigh and finally try to explain to him what is going on inside you. That you're worried and anxious if you don't take care of it yourself.

"We need to work on that" Hunter says seriously "It's our child, I'm the father, you can't keep it from me, it's not right or fair. You know me, I would never harm our baby".

Of course the rational part of your perception knows this, but there is unfortunately also an irrational part that sometimes takes control. You will have to find a way to deal with this together. Hunter is a good partner and father, he will not want to have his time with his child taken away. If you can't find a common ground on your own, it could have a very negative impact on your relationship.

However, Hunter is willing to accommodate you in some way if you are willing to do the same and perhaps allow outside help, possibly in a therapeutic form.

Echo

Your reaction surprises him, and he vacillates somewhat between confusion, annoyance, and concern.

"You're acting like you don't trust me all of a sudden. Is it the prosthesis? Are you afraid I'll drop the kid?" he asks, frowning critically.

"Among other things," you reluctantly admit.

Seeing how this statement hurts him, you regret saying something. He looks at you wide-eyed, then lowers his gaze to his scomp-link arm. Echo doesn't quite know if he's disappointed or angry.

"So I never get to hold our child?" he asks, and his voice has taken on a strange tone that you haven't heard from him before, there's something somber about it.

When he looks at you again his expression is bitter, "You can't deny me that, I've never given you a reason to mistrust me, this is my child too".

You try to explain to him how worried and insecure you are about the baby, in general, not just about him. His expression slowly softens a bit, and he seems to understand, at least partially.

"We'll have to do something about that. Maybe we should ask a doctor for advice"

Echo tries to be understanding, even if in this case he actually finds it difficult for once. He is determined to find a solution that you both can be happy with.

Wrecker

He is already overcautious because the baby is so tiny and he is so huge. It feels strange for him to have this small, wonderful but so fragile looking being in his life. Wrecker is overjoyed to be a father but a little insecure at the same time. Your behavior fuels this insecurity.

He withdraws unhappily, observes the child mostly only with some distance, and you can see how deeply sad he is about not being able to approach his baby properly. Your behavior, and his insecurity, mix into a very bitter cocktail for Wrecker.

Eventually, his brothers notice the pattern and intervene, insisting that you give Wrecker a chance to hold his child. When it becomes clear what this is doing to you, Hunter insists that you seek medical as well as therapeutic help. He can no longer stand by and watch Wrecker suffer.

You need to communicate, so he understands you don't feel like this on purpose, that you can't help it. He'll be happy to find a solution with you.

Tech

He notices your behavior very quickly and doesn't like it at all.

"You are overreacting. I am perfectly capable of taking care of our baby. What's your issue?"

Your explanation makes him frown worriedly as well as thoughtfully. Tech quickly does some research and concludes, "You have some form of 'postpartum maternal separation anxiety'. We need to do something about that."

He knows it's hard for you, but you both have to go through it now.

"I'm not comfortable knowing how uncomfortable you feel seeing me with the child. Actually, I had hoped that the opposite would be the case, that it would make you happy. But I'm certainly not going to give up our baby. So we have to do something. Therapy seems not only appropriate, but necessary if we're going to get this out of the way."

Tech will not back down on this. He tries to be as considerate as possible, but he has a hard time hiding his disappointment. However, he is hopeful that with professional help, you can both get relief from this situation.

Crosshair

He never wanted to become a father, and he has a hard time getting used to this situation. Pride, happiness and a good portion of fear and insecurity mix. Crosshair keeps his distance at first, observing everything carefully, thoughtfully, but also with a loving eye.

It takes quite a while, but when he finally comes out of his shell and takes the baby in his arms, you react quite strongly, partly because it is unexpected due to his previous behavior. Crosshair carefully puts the baby back down, and you see that he is holding back right now, but is incredibly angry.

He doesn't want to confront you in the presence of the child and initially retreats to let off steam. Crosshair feels patronized, discouraged and incredibly angry. You end up arguing quite heatedly, because he can't really understand what you're trying to explain to him, until you present him with some articles that can explain the whole thing more objectively.

He reluctantly reads what you've presented, wearily rubs his hand over his face with a sigh, and leans back in his chair. Finally, he understands, you can't really help it right now.

"Somehow, nothing is ever normal with us, is it?", he mutters.

You shrug your shoulders in embarrassment and lean back in your chair as well, across from him at the small dining table you're sitting at.

Crosshair finally leans forward again, arms folded on the tabletop, and looks directly at you.

"Kitten, I love you, I hope you know that. But this is a non-tolerable situation for me. We need to find a solution. I'm having a hard enough time adjusting to all this as it is. Maybe we need professional help from the outside."

Gregor

He raises his brows and looks at you in surprise as you take the child from his arms.

"Is something wrong?"

It doesn't matter what you say, he'll notice that you're avoiding him or trying to cover something up, he has a sense for that kind of thing. Gregor won't let the subject rest until you talk to him openly about it.

"Love, this is my baby too, it's our baby. You trust me, don't you?"

"That's not the point"

"Then what is it about?" he inquires gently but firmly.

Gregor listens attentively, trying to understand you, and he quickly realizes that a lot of work is needed here, and perhaps professional guidance. You are surprised when you see him smile, unperturbed, and he strokes your cheek.

"Okay, so we've discovered a problem. Let's set out to find the solution, together."

He's in good spirits, he won't give up that easily, it's not in Gregor's nature. He is sure that together, with a little willpower and cooperation, you will find a solution that is right for both of you.

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaw

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@jediknightjana

@pb-jellybeans

@starwarsnerd111

[eclaire-went-bam]

Hi I had a few questions about the Dutch Van Der Linde NPD post :-)

I'm not trying to be rude or an asshole, I'm just genuinely confused because there seemed to be conflicting things.

You seem to agree that he has NPD but then call folk ableist for calling him a narcissist. Saying they're demonizing personality disorders.

I know and understand why demonizing NPD amongst other personality disorders is bad. But I don't understand why people calling him a Narcissist = demonizing.

Dutch is a terrible person so obviously people would point out his terrible actions along with a possible personality disorder. Because the disorder is a huge part of his character for some folk, which I'm sure it is for you.

I guess what I'm really wondering is what do you classify as ableist when it comes to discussing Dutch and his possible NPD?

The post, or I guess the way things were worded, made it hard for me to see your point.

Thank you :-)

rolling around tysm for the ask /gen!!! i did word things a bit unclear bcs a lot of my posts are catred to ppl in my own community so don't worry :)

i'm also using terminology associated w/ npd in this post so refer to tags if you don't know what something means

it's a bit complicated & i tend to over-explain so strap in !!

acknowledging he is a narcissist is fine! but the term "narcissist" very specifically refers to a mental illness & is a term very often mishandled

the problem lies here!

on one hand, people will know narcissist refers to npd specifically, but they won't care & are thus very explicitly demonising pw/npd. i've seen a great many posts (not just from this fandom!) who will call a character a narcissist, and then will proceed to prescribe that as the reason why a character is a bad person. npd is a personality disorder which yes, can often cause a lot of interpersonal conflict if not properly coped with, but it can also present in numerous other ways (eg, people-pleasing) — people who are abusive don't generally have npd and pw/npd aren't all abusive (many are actually abused themselves! if i had a dime for every article/post i've seen detailing how to make a narcissist crash, i'd be rich lmao). so automatically correlating abusive behaviour w/ having npd is very damaging to pw/npd

or,

on the other hand (this i see Most often), someone doesn't really seem to know that being narcissistic is a mental health thing and are using that word as a stand-in for a plethora of negative words — which is really easy to do given how much it's used incorrectly in a lot of anti-npd short form content (tiktok, yt shorts, etc ...). someone may use the word "narcissistic" when they're trying to describe someone who's self-centred, or rude, or aloof, or vain, or abusive, when they could use any of those other words just as easily while both being correct, and not including that underlying stigma

the vast majority of posts i've seen refer to dutch as a narcissist, are using that word in a derogatory sense to air their frustrations with the character — not as a genuine analysis, and not acknowledging the nuances of npd

it is important to note, many of these people would not call a character who is seen as a good person a narcissist, even if they may exhibit many narcissistic traits in canon, because narcissism already has a really negative stigma attached to it that they would be perpetuating. if dutch did nothing problematic in the entire series, i'd still headcanon him as narcissistic, but i get the sense that many just wouldn't because it hinges so much on the worst of his character

an egotypical may see dutch being simply careless with anyone but his own skin as he drags everyone down with him and call him a narcissist

whereas for me, i may see him desperately trying to appear as the greater-than-life man everyone talks him up to be to the point of delusion and self-sabotaging while everything is falling apart around him and call him a narcissist because yea, me too honestly !!

the first position is often tying narcissism to a shallow and overwhelming negative view of a character, because one may already have a bias that narcissism = living your best life as your family falls apart or something

so imagine like ;;; an allistic seeing a blunt character that is often viewed in fandom as autistic, and calling them autistic because of the outward bluntness — especially if they view bluntness as a bad thing. this view may perpetuate stereotypes about autism while also not really offering any nuanced look at the character. that, vs an autistic person seeing the same character and maybe relating to how confusing that social interaction was, and how awkward it must must've been for the character realising they did x y and z "wrong."

using the same example, there could be a character in media that's considered extremely blunt and mean to others, who's implied to be autistic. it's fine to not like said character, lord knows i'm thinking of a Few i hate, and being autistic doesn't excuse people from being mean to others, but to insult a character for being blunt because of their autism is pretty ableist! just like how having npd doesn't excuse any characters abuse, and someone can not like their vanity, but it'd be kind of ableist to insult a character for being vain because of their narcissism

or just like how an autistic character may unintentionally be mean to somebody due to misunderstanding social cues/being overstimulated/etc and will thus be percieved as cold and unkindly, a narcissistic person may percieve small criticisms as really pointed attacks that can cause crashes, which can cause us to become defensive & be percieved as childish or uncooperative (here's a good post that talks abt how certain problems may appear from a narcs pov, for example). these are just little things that oftentimes people who don't have said condition may not understand, which can contribute to a really flat reading of a character based on More Stereotypes

of course, you don't have to have a specified neurotype or mental disorder to headcanon someone with something (though i definitely recommend the Nuance ahaha), but i get the sense that when ppl use "narcissistic" with dutch, it's less of a respectful headcanon that acknowledges the disorder & how distressing it can be to not only others around him, but him as well, and more as a jab coming from the users own personal experiences from people they didn't like, or as a way to explain specifically just his abusive behaviour & nothing else (which is already a yikes cus that implies someone's automatic association with abuse is people of a very specific stigmatised neurotype). and i mean hey, dutch does deserve. Like. Multiple Jabs. (understatement). but it shouldn't be at the expense of people who actually exist irl who struggle w/npd

no i do not excuse dutch's problematic/abusive behaviour, i literally physically recoil from my screen whenever i see him do literally anything, and it's pretty evident that untreated Issues™ definitely contributed to him going batshit (especially considering as far as every account i've seen go, he was pretty damn Decent in terms of 1800's outlaws prior to blackwater), but i can definitely say that i do rlly relate with some overarching themes with him & can often pretty much hear what he's thinking sometimes without necessarily thinking something he did was okay. & again, there are sooo many words in the english lexicon, people can definitely choose words that aren't specifically related to conditions when talking abt what they don't like about him

so many other headcanons, whether it be regarding race, gender, sexuality, neurodiversity, etc, are treated with a lotta respect on this website! you'll hardly ever find someone seriously insulting a character's headcanoned autism, or gender identity, or anxiety, with such genuine vitriol. i've seen people also headcanon dutch with major depression or bipolar, but i've seen nobody use either terms to insult him — because we all know that's insensitive. so why should npd be any different?

so yeah i hope this made it clear, i don't think its wrong or ableist at all to to have discussions about how a potential personality disorder could've affected his thinking or decisions, but a lot of the posts i've seen have been less about discussion and more of just finding ways to express their hatred of dutch. which ;; i'm sure you can imagine how tiring it gets to see these kinda posts which demonise something you are, in a community for a game you really enjoy, and just have everyone in the comments/tags kinda nod their head. nnnot fun to always catch strays ^^;

anyways that's my spiel tysm for the ask i really like to Yap™

[monalovesstarsz]

Maybe we could

I'm super new to this so this and it's the first thing I've ever written (and it might horribly suck) so bear with me 😭 I'm doing this to keep me busyish and my grammar might also suck.. This is also probably not accurate and I had to make some stuff up

Genre: Non idol au and idk what else to say 😭

Pairings: Shy sick sunghoonxsick shy y/n (I clearly don't know how to do this)

Summary: Y/n starts to spend a lot of time in a hospital due to her health and its super lonely until she meets sunghoon and they agree to try their best to live as regular teens.

Warnings: uhh I'm not totally sure but illnesses, thoughts of death, hospitals, depression, mentions of death (probably)

Prologue:

Your leg starts bouncing up and down anxiously. You had told your mom that you weren't nervous but that had been a complete lie. How could you not have been? These results were going to affect the rest of your life. You could tell your mom was also nervous even though earlier she had told you everything was going to be fine and you had nothing to worry about. You turned to her and you gave her a painfully obvious fake smile. You looked down at the inside of your elbow noticing that your bruise hadn't faded. You had gotten it after you had your blood drawn to get it tested. That's why you were here to begin with. If this was like any other time they had drawn your blood you wouldn't be nervous, but it wasn't they would usually call you for your results or even a voicemail. They called you up here to give your results in person they never did that. Your deep in thought until they finally call you up. "Okay can I see Y/n l/n up next" You and your mom walked up to the nurse who gave you a friendly smile. It was warm and it has comforted you. You gave her one back trying to make it as sweet as possible. She walked you and your mom up into a room and as you stepped inside you got the same almost nostalgic feeling. Your doctor told you to come in and sit down in her office. She lead you to it and you sat down next to your mom in front of a work desk with a computer and lots of paper work scattered across it. On the other side your doctor sat down turning the computer on before typing on it.

"How have you guys been so far? How has your day been so far?" "We've been doing good so far, y/n doesn't leave the house a lot though which is quite odd of her."

Your mom answered for the both of you

"So how have you been feeling recently Y/n?"

you looked at your mom like you always did and she nodded for your to answer.

"I've felt the same. I still feel nauseous and dizzy most of the time. Recently I have been really tired too." "I see. I called you guys in because these symptoms can be quite scary but I'm happy to let you know that the results came back negative!"

You let out a sigh of relief and you smiled at her.

"Oh thank God she's alright." Said your mom after giving your hand a squeeze. You were happy no doubt but you still had a question.

"Why have I been feeling like this then?"

You asked, it was bugging you. Had this all just been an overreaction on your part? Was it just a bug? Had it been your imagination all along?

"Well sometimes we just feel like this because we might not be taking the best care of our bodies, this just might be a sign to tell you to drink more water and sleep more."

You were happy that it wasn't anything serious but now it was a bit embarrassing wasting people's time just because you hadn't slept or drank enough water. You decided to let it go as you got into your mom's car.

"Hey why don't we celebrate with some good food. I know you don't feel your best when you eat recently but let's celebrate still!" Your mom says this hoping you'll feel better "Okay thanks mom."

As your alarm woke you to get ready for school you had gotten started and got up too quickly making you even more dizzy than usual. You chose to ignore this feeling. You got up and washed your face, did some skin care, added makeup, ate breakfast, and finally you got changed. You decided to wear loose baggy grey sweats and a tight fitting baby blue top almost covering your stomach. You put on a zip up black hoodie and grey new balances. It was comfy but cute. You didn't feel well but you had missed enough school. You asked your mom for a ride since you were too dizzy to walk. You got to school just in time and you had texted your friends that you decided to go today. You had missed your friends and if you were being honest you had missed school. You did your best to keep up with schoolwork so you weren't too worried about that. As you walked to meet up with your friends you couldn't help to think if you were getting stares or if it was your imagination. If it was the first option you told yourself that it was because you had been gone for a while. As you walked you saw on of your friends Danielle in the spot where she had told you to meet her at. She was busy on her phone so you decided to sneak up on her and tap her on the shoulder.

"Oh geez- Y/n!!!! I've missed you! How have you been? What have you been up to? Where did you get that shirt? How do you feel? What did that doctor say?"

She was just as bubbly as ever.

"Woahh slow down once question at a time."

You said through small giggles as she pulled you into a hug which made you a bit dizzier since it was a quick movement. You hugged her back happily though.

"I've missed you too Danielle your texts always made me feel better. I've been doing okay, I haven't been up to much, I think I got this shirt thrifting, I feel the same but luckily the doctor said I don't have anything."

Danielle laughed at how you answered all her questions and she pulled you in once again for a tighter hug.

"I'm so glad you're okay! All of us were worried but it was nothing luckily!!!"

You gave her a smile which she happily returned back.

"Where's the rest of them? I thought they would be here already."

You asked

"I see hanni walking up to us right now and jay and Jake are on their way."

Right as she finished her sentence you turned and you saw Hanni. She quickly rushed over and hugged you tightly you of course hugged her back.

"Y/nnnnnnnnnn!!!! You're here finally!!! How are you feeling?" "I've missed you too Hanni, and I feel the same sadly but the doctor told me I'm good!" "That's great y/n!!!"

She finally lets you go. Her happy expression turns into annoyance when she realizes that jay and Jake aren't there.

" where are the guys? Class is about to start and they aren't gonna greet y/n? There gonna get jumped if they don't show up soon."

You and Danielle giggle at her joke but once it dies down jay and Jake show up.

"Finally" murmurs Hanni. Jake attacks you with a hug whilst practically yelling your name and even lifts you up causing you to get pretty dizzy and Hanni scolds him for doing so and as he calms down he dabs you as if he didn't just squeeze you so tight you probably would have turned purple if hanni didn't stop him. Jay dabs you up but then pulls you into a hug.

"How have you been y/n we've all missed you!." Jay says as he has you in a comfy hug and you answer as he lets you go.

"I'm doing good jay, y'know I have forgotten to ask you all how you guys are feeling?" You let out a giggle since they are all so worried about you but you forgot to be polite and ask them in return. "We've all been bored and we've looked forward to you coming back, Hanni has been leaving me for during lunch for some club leaving me alone with dumb and dumber." Danielle says that whole rolling her eyes teasingly towards Hanni. "Yeah yeah we're not that bad to sit with." Argued Jake. "We should probably head to class now the bells about to ring." Jay says to try to get his friends to be punctual for once.

Your first class of the day was Math, luckily you had Jay and Hanni in that class. When you and your friends walked in all together your teacher greeted your friends and when she had finally seen you she welcomed you back to class. Class was boring as ever not like you were paying attention since you had a major headache, and nausea.You had Jay and Hanni to get you through it. You dreaded your next class. It was Physical education. P.e. If you were a normal healthy person you wouldn't mind but you walking up the stairs made you want to take a long nap and never wake up. Once class was over you walked down the halls with Hanni. You thanked whoever put you in the same p.e class as Danielle. What made it even worse was that you had to go outside for p.e today. Once Hanni saw Danielle you guys waved and she walked you up to her and said her goodbyes. You greeted Danielle

"If you don't feel well enough just tell the teacher." Danielle said it with much concern.

"Nah I'll be okay I think."

You were infact not okay

As you and Danielle walked to where your teacher was Danielle had climbed up onto a cement bench something you guys always did so you did the same. She continued walking and she hoped off, but vision started getting blurry. It's fine you reassured yourself.

It was infact not fine

Especially when some dumb boy had thrown a football a little too hard. If this was any normal day you would have acted like it didn't really hurt. But it wasn't a normal day. You had a massive headache, and you were incredibly dizzy. After the ball had hit you your vision started getting dark and you fell to the ground In Front of your whole class you passed out. Last thing you heard was Danielle calling for help.

Dawg I did nawt mean for this to be so so very long.

[linajinnnn]

How they were translated: Korean SIX

Brought some lines and lyrics from Korean Production of SIX. Take a look at how they were translated! * notes: the lines and lyrics may not be fully accurate, 'cause I wrote them only depending from my memory.

[Ex-wives]

Remember us from PBS/GCSEs? ▶ Remember us from History Special? 우리 역사 스페셜에서 봤지? (note: History Special is one of the most popular TV show in Korea, broadcasted during 1998-2012. They mada a right localization!)

You're gonna find out how he got unfriended ▶ You're gonna find out the reason I blocked him. 알게 될 걸 그를 차단한 이유

But I didn't look as good as I did in my pic Funny how we all discuss that But never Henry's little- ▶ So he's disappointed with my actual look Do you think you're the only one who's disappointed? Your tiny and little- 근데 실물 보고 달라서 실망했대 지만 실망한 줄 아나 작고 작은 너의 소중이 (OK so Korean Cleves didn't just 'unfriended' but 'blocked' Henry… and she slays 🤣)

[No way]

Well daddy weren't you there When I gave birth to Mary? (spoken) Aw, hi baby Daughters are so easy to forget ▶ What was the word Mary calls you? (spoken) Daddy So daughters are not enough to be your children 우리 딸 메리가 뭐라고 부르지 널 아빠 딸은 자식 아닌가보지

+ and Korean Aragon says 'Hola' instead of 'Muy Bien' at the beginning.

[Don't Lose Ur Head]

L-O-L, say "oh well" Or go to hell ▶ Ha-ha-ha, just laugh at it Or just shut up 하하하 웃든지 아님 닥쳐줘

Your comment went viral / Wow Anne, way to make the country hate you ▶ You've got so many mean tweets / You've got million haters 너 악플 쩔더라 / 백만 안티 (especially loved this one😂 gives bit of K-POP industry vibe)

[Haus of Holbein]

Ignore the fear and you'll be fine We'll turn this vier into a nine So just say "ja" and don't say "nein" ▶ It's okay don't worry We're photoshop them das is gut Never doubt them das is gut 괜찮아 걱정하지마 뽀샵해줄게 das is gut 의심하지마 das is gut

[Get Down]

Get down, you dirty rascal ▶ Get down and bow to me 엎드려 절하여라 (and when Korean Cleves says this her tone is like a character from historical drama👍)

[Howard Intro]

Nice neck by the way ▶ What a pretty neck you've got! By the way you still have it! 너 목 정말 예쁘다! 그나저나 아직까지 달려있구나 (so Korean Boleyn's got Regina George vibe love them)

[All You Wanna Do]

But my dad's got this amazing job at the palace ▶ My dad's got me amazing internship at the palace 근데 아빠가 궁전에 끝내주는 인턴 자릴 잡아준거야 (they translated it as 'internship' and I wonder why🤔 Maybe to emphasize how young Howard is?)

[Parr Intro]

Ooh, “I’m Catherine Parr, I draw lines in arbitrary places.” Blah-blah! ▶ "Hello, I'm Catherine Parr, came to draw lines in your conscience." ZIP! 안녕 난 캐서린 파야 양심에 선을 긋겠어 찍- (and Ryeowon's Howard was damn cute when she says ZIP!)

[Six]

His mates were super arty But I showed them how to party ▶ My friends are Artistic My Parties are Fantastic 내 친구는 아티스틱 내 파티는 판타스틱 (Cleves says the word 'Aristic' and 'Fantastic' in English 😆)

…and for the last, I bring you how my favorite lyrics from SIX were translated into Korean!

We're one of a kind No category Too many years Lost in history We're free to take Our crowning glory ▶ No one can make category on us Our own history that was forgotten Taking back my freedom and glory 우릴 하나로 묶을 순 없어 잊혀졌던 우리의 역사 내 자유 영광 이제 되찾아

It's the end of the show, of the histo-remix We switched up the flow and we changed the prefix Everybody knows that we used to be six wives But we wanna say before we drop the curtain Nothing is for sure, nothing is for certain All that we know is that we used to be six wives ▶ Our show is about to end re-writing the history Our own lyrics we changed and singing Everyone knows we were that six wives We wanna say before the show ends Do not be certain for anything you know We are not that six wives everyone used to know 이제 끝나가는 쇼 다시 쓰는 역사 바꿔 부르는 우리만의 가사 모두가 알지 우리가 바로 식스 와이프 쇼가 끝나기 전에 얘기할래 니가 아는걸 확신하지마 모두가 알던 우리가 아냐 식스 와이프

I know there are lots of negative comments among Korean theater fans, about how poor the Korean translations are. But I did like some parts. I won't say I'm fully satisfied with the translations but some parts were really touching just like the original ones. Hope they make progress in the future. 😊

[writingattemptsxx]

Bottling up Emotions

Vil has a lot on his plate, but he doesn't want to rely on others. It takes Crewel to snap him out of it.

—

I read a Divus Crewel/Eric Venue and Crewel being Vil’s dad and I absolutely fell in love, so I made a quick write of a story.

The story is “Sympathy for a Villian” by Pink_Beep on AO3. 100% recommend it.

—

Divus’s class had ended a while ago, yet for some reason, his pup remained. He decided to stay to work on his notes and get organized before leaving. It wasn't something new, far from it, but it was getting more and more common. Vil is, and always has been, a good and hard-working student who took after his fathers. Even if it was in character, it wasn't above the poor pup’s father to worry.

“Pup?” His only answer was a small ‘hmm?’. “You’ve been staying after class more and more often. Is anything confusing you?” There was only another hum. He's not paying attention, is he? Just staring at his textbook as he jots things down on one of many papers. “Your Papa and I are leaving modern society and have no plans to return.”

“Hmm. Wait what?” Vil snapped his head up, his writing freezing in its tracks.

“Do I finally have your attention?”

His pup’s face immediately fell into a displeased expression. He takes a breath, sets down his pen, and closes his book with a paper inside to keep his place. “Hilarious joke, father.”

“Of course it is.”

Vil just sighs. “Now what is it you need? My club starts in a few hours, and I need to make sure I have all my notes done before then.”

“Are you struggling to understand something? You’ve been staying behind more and more. I'm just… Worried.”

“No? I'm fine. Writing notes is a completely normal thing.”

“You completely dodged the question. What's wrong?” Divus’s pup definitely took after his fathers, for better or worse. Even if you were nothing but direct with your questions or worries, he would never want to open up. A closed and locked book.

“I’m fine.” A huff comes from Vil as he opens his book and grabs the dropped pen. “There is nothing you need to worry about.”

“Somehow, I don't believe that.” Divus walks over to his son and stands there, waiting to be acknowledged as Vil continues to work. Sadly, that acknowledgment didn't come. After a few seconds of waiting, he gets fed up. He is his pup’s father for seven’s sake! If something is bothering his son, he should be one of the first he reaches out to for help. His hand acted before his mind and he snatched the book.

“Father!”

“I am absolutely not letting you bottle up your emotions! What is wrong?!”

Vil stands up from his seat. His face was red, only growing more so. He was bottling up a lot, most definitely, and this was the last straw. “Oh? So stealing from me is the way you ensure that?!”

“You never tell anyone anything! I'm running out of options!” Both were silent, just staring at the other as the swirl of rage ran through them. After what felt like years, but in reality was likely only a minute or so, Divus sighed and placed the book back on his son’s desk. “I’m sorry. I acted before thinking. While my reaction wasn’t the way I should have, you can't just ignore negative feelings and shove away anyone who gets worried. I'm your father, and want to make sure you're ok. Even if you can't talk to me, I want to know you have at least someone to go to.”

Vil sighed in return. “Things have just been stressful. I have a lot on my plate. My career. My schoolwork. My clubwork. My dormhead work. I'm just dealing with a lot.”

“Pup, if you are struggling with too much work, you could have just told me and I would have helped reduced your schoolwork or at least extended the deadlines. Your Papa can also help with anything involving acting. He's an actor, just as you are.”

“I have to be able to deal with work on my own though. I can't rely on my fathers’s favoritism forever.”

“Part of learning how to grow up is learning how to rely on others, not how to ignore them. While self-reliance is important, it's not the be all end all. And us helping you is not favoritism. Your Papa and I would help anyone in your position. I’m your teacher and he's your mentor.” Divus put a hand on his pup’s shoulder. “Even if it's not relying on us, there are good people who you can rely on. Just don't bottle things up.” That's the one thing he wished his pup never had picked up on and copied.

Vil lets a small giggle loose as Divus wraps him in a hug. “Thank you. And I’ll talk to Papa later today.”

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

Hi! Apparently I'm in a slightly anxious mood today, and it probably has to do with the 4x16 synopsis yesterday, the part about Owen and TK at least, the other seems to be fun. I'm stuck thinking what the news could possibly be, even considering that the thing about it possibly changing their lives forever may be misleading. It seems probable that it relates to Robert and I've seen all the theories floating around. Honestly, I'd prefer it to be about the inheritance though it doesn't seem the most likely I think, but an hereditary illness all of a sudden so close to the wedding seems to be just drama for drama's sake and no deeper reason, but then again who knows what will really happen and how it will actually be framed. The thing about donating organs too. So I will keep an open mind that it will be good in any case.

Another thing that would help is seeing something of Carlos in his wedding suit or something like we did TK, as a bit of reassurance since I remember what insane wish Rafa had about it...

I agree that it's not likely to be about inheritance. The stills we have of Owen and TK seem so anxious and concerned. And an inheritance doesn't quite seem to fit the 16 synopsis. Would an inheritance storyline really stretch over 2 episodes and have Owen waiting for news of some kind? I suppose it's possible, but it doesn't feel right.

The only two possibilities that make sense to me are organ donation or a hereditary illness. As for organ donation, I think it would be Owen doing the donating, not TK. I just don't see it fitting into the rest of the season for TK to donate an organ. Also, I don't think this would fit with the Tarlos stills released by Tim. These stills appear to show a concerned TK being comforted by Carlos. I feel like Carlos would be the one who was extra concerned if TK had decided to donate a kidney or something. However, I think these stills could fit a situation where TK was worrying about his dad donating a kidney. Personally, I would not want TK to donate an organ (especially to some random guy he just met who happens to be his uncle!), but I'm fine with Owen doing it. Yes, there are questions regarding whether he would be able to do so with his cancer history...but there are also plenty of questions regarding whether he would be able to crash through a frozen man's chest while performing CPR, so I'm willing to overlook it. They bring up Owen's cancer fairly frequently, so I'd guess that if it is organ donation, they will have some kind of excuse to handwave this issue.

As for a hereditary illness, I actually think this could be good and not just drama for drama's sake. A hereditary illness that has not yet presented but could present in the future would have a significant bearing on what TK's future life would look like. I could imagine TK getting worried about the implications of some possible hereditary illness on his and Carlos' future, and Carlos then comforting TK, reassuring him that he is going to love him forever no matter what. That doesn't feel pointless to me. The Tarlos storyline of the entire season has been all about how they are in this for the long haul, how they love each other unconditionally, and how the most important thing to both of them is that they are together. I think a storyline like this could fit right in.

Also, if there is a hereditary illness, I can't see the storyline ending in a way that's too negative. Either they won't actually have it or it will be so minor as to not cause significant problems. In that way, the worry it causes TK will be for nothing, but the reassurance he will get from Carlos along the way will be an important step on their path to the wedding.

[oatslemonade]

I have an account on AO3/Archive of Our Own. I'm OatsLemonade over there too. Always read fanfiction Tags/lables/warnings/ratings.

Here's the link to the main fanfiction

Over there, I have a Fan Fiction series about the Murder Time Trio, as Bitties. Here is a sample chapter of the series, plus related artwork.

*********************

*********************

Nightmare did not need mortal food. He was perfectly fine with feeding off the Negativity of Humans and Monsters.

But he started to enjoy Mortal snacks when Killer became his employee. At first he would return with little candy bars or other small items that could fit in his much smaller inventory.

He'd remark with such things as, "that chump was a walking disaster, but they knew their treats!" He'd hand over whatever he thought he'd like, while giving his report. It wasn't needed, but appreciated.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Killer's cat, Orange Peal, started to hunt.

Nightmare thought it commendable. The feline's only job was to keep Killer company. The fact it decided on its own to keep the local rodent population down was a bonus. The rats would sometimes dare to damage his books.

One day the cat... Well it was between kittenhood and adulthood, began to leave dead rats at his office door.

"You don't need to prove you are hunting. That is not your job." Nightmare said to the cat.

Orange Peal meowed at him. A fresh kill laid at his paws. He yowled at the Guardian of Negativity. He knelt down and pushed the rodent towards Nightmare.

"... You did a good job of vanquishing your enemy?" He was answered with another yowl. "What are you trying to communicate?"

Killer used the Bitty sized walkway. He liked being at Nightmare's eye level. As he rounded the corner he was confused seeing his Boss try to talk to his cat. Killer smirked.

"Boss? Have you never dealt with a cat before?" He leaned against the wall. "Cats sometimes kill prey and bring them back to... Those they think can't hunt for themselves." His smirk was wide.

"Are you telling me, that your cat is insulting me?" Nightmare asked.

"Nope. He might be worried. He never sees you eat." Killer jumped down and petted Orange Peal. "Plus it's a normal cat thing. They just think they're doing their part to keep their loved ones happy and healthy." He lovingly head bonked his pet.

"Do I need to eat the dead vermin?"

"No! Just no! Do not eat random dead things he brings you. Just praise him and wait until he's gone to dispose of the dead rats." Killer explained.

"As I said before, you did a good job."

"I think he wants a head pat or a treat." Killer added.

Nightmare used one of his tentacles to gently pat the cat's back. He was rewarded with a deep purr.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Dust held so much power, and a much larger inventory. It took months for the small Monster to show any level of affection towards Nightmare. But one day, Dust brought Nightmare a whole restaurant's worth of fast food.

It was greasy and so odd. It was very modern food. Nothing like what he experienced in his childhood. It didn't seem appealing, but he chose the least greasy item, a fried chicken salad and ate some in front of Dust.

"Thank you Dust. The breading is delightful." Nightmare gave a small smile. He enjoyed the fact that Dust becoming more sociable the most, but the salad wasn't bad.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Horror was the last of the trio to join. The Bitty grew up in a proper Bitty colony. Unlike Killer and Dust, that had grown up like small pets. He was the most polite out of the three.

He was taught practical life skills like cooking.

One evening Nightmare heard the intercom buzz. "Hey Boss! Horror wants everyone to eat together tonight for dinner! That includes you! See you at the table in an hour!" Killer spoke with such excitement.

Nightmare glanced at the clock on the wall. "I will join you then. I'll finish up this last plan." He didn't need to eat, but he didn't want to disappoint his employees. According to Horror, mealtime is a traditional time to bond as a group.

When Nightmare arrived at the dining table he was surprised his henchmen set him a plate and teacup his size. It was thoughtful.

The three Bitties used the Bitty bridge to cross from the kitchen to the dinning room table. Dust used his gravity magic to levitate the meal. A full roasted chicken, potatoes, carrots, other vegetables and bread rolls.

"Horror, did you use the full sized kitchen just to make a large enough quantity to include me?" The Guardian was surprised. He was expecting a small Bitty sized meal... "How did you manage to prepare all of this?"

"I had Dust do the heavy lifting. Honestly cooking isn't hard once everything is in place." Horror answered. "Go on, dish yourself up." He warmly smiled.

Nightmare took a little of everything. He bit into the potato, it was more than he imagined. Never in his entire life, had he had a home cooked meal. As a child he and his brother foraged for their meals and gave up when they realized they fed off of Positivity and Negativity. The feeling of intent was overwhelming. Horror's cooking translated his feelings of thankfulness, purpose and loyalty.

"I don't have words. I never had such good food."

"Boss! That's just the potato! Try some of the chicken! And later there's dessert!" Killer butted in.

"Shh that was supposed to be a surprise! But I made cheesecake." Horror mumbled. A blush blossomed on his face at the praise.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

"Do you know why the Boss called us to his office?" Dust asked.

"No clue, but I don't think there's anything to worry about." Killer replied. "He seemed chill."

"I smell tea, and cookies." Horror stated.

The two Bitties looked at Horror. Killer rang the intercom. "Hey Boss, we're here!"

The door opened, revealing Nightmare sitting on the office couch. Orange Peal purred in his lap. The coffee table had a whole Bitty sized tea set. On a regular plate were a couple of cookies broken up into several uneven tiny pieces.

"Boss?" Killer was pleasantly surprised. "Did you..."

"I made tea," Nightmare shifted. "I got the tea set at a shop... But I couldn't manage to make miniature cookies. They kept burning up. I decided to make one big cookie and divided it up." He straightened up. "All of you have been doing very well at your missions. I wanted to show you... What Horror called team bonding with food."

"Boss...it looks great! Thanks." Killer praised.

Horror ate some of the cookie crumbs. "Love it!"

Dust took a cup into his hands. He looked into his reflection, closed his eyes and breathed in the aroma. Dust took a sip. "I like the blend." Dust's mind wandered off to bittersweet memories as he smiled.

Nightmare didn't need mortal food. But he enjoyed what came with it.

[dostoevskybignaturals]

i hate feelings because i have to feel them

this morning, after i responded to my mom's texts in defense of her support for trump, a dove crashed into our balcony door. it was fine. it sat on the rail for a moment and then flew off. about a half hour later another dove crashed into the balcony door again. this one was also fine, sitting in almost the same spot as the first dove on the rail before flying off.

i pay attention to omens like that. i looked up what it could mean and there were some sources that said doves can represent spreading your wings and taking flight, and birds crashing into your window but flying away unscathed can mean ending negative cycles to embrace positive change. a friend confirmed this when they said that both of these birds represent my relationship with my parents.

i feel like this is an uncomfortable time where i'm finally being honest with myself about how my mom's choices have effected my mental health. i don't think she's a bad mom, per se. i think she's done fucked up shit, and she's mostly owned up to it. but i've also not exercised boundaries with her very often or very firmly, and it's time i acknowledge that she's ignored them before. i know she doesn't mean to hurt me, but she has. i need to stop tip-toeing around her and be honest about this. it's been a long time coming.

she used to cry a lot. she tried to hide it usually. i remember a lot of tearful "family meetings" where my mom tried addressing my dad's behavior but it always turned into an argument with me in the middle. i learned to be cautious about my behavior and communication because i didn't want to make things worse. i thought that i could avoid my dad's unpredictable moods by being well-behaved. and if he was in a good mood then my mom would be happy too. they never made me feel as if it was my responsibility to support them emotionally, but i was an only child and i didn't have many friends. for years, it was as though my only relationships were with my mom and dad. i called her my best friend for most of my life.

we converted to catholicism when i was nine years old. she thought that religion might convince my dad to be kinder and gentler. i was not welcomed by the community there. i was excluded by the other kids because i was a convert, i guess. my mom homeschooled me with a catholic program for two years. i was taught that god could read my thoughts and that even thinking about sinning was just as bad as sinning. i beat myself up for my intrusive thoughts. i was taught that the pain i endured as a girl was deserved, a debt incurred by eve that i could never repay. my mom made me stand with her outside of an abortion clinic and pray. i remember someone drove up to us and said we were doing something bad. i didn't understand at the time. my mom voted for bush around that time because she thought he would ban abortion.

i know for some time she looked for religion elsewhere and she voted democrat. but she would make off-hand racist comments often. i don't know that they're any different from someone of her generation. she taught me tarot reading and astrology. i don't think she ever understood how much christianity fucked me up. she still apologizes for not leaving my dad sooner, but i don't think she understands how much her christianity instilled me with deep shame and fear long before i ever knew i was queer. it didn't help that she would always say bisexuals are just slutty because they're willing to do it with anyone. it didn't help that she invalidated me the first time i tried to communicate with her that i wasn't a cis woman.

she defined my sense of reality for so long. that ended a long time ago. i don't know what i was hoping for. maybe some part of me hoped that she was right and that i had nothing to worry about regarding my right to exist in america. but her perspective will always be that of a white woman in her 60s. i have always had to figure out my own way. it's my hope that i can do so now with complete confidence.

i can acknowledge that right wing politics preys on the vulnerabilities of her generation. but also i need to acknowledge that she's the kind of person who can't see beyond her own perspective. how much empathy did she really have for my autistic immigrant father?

even today she continues to be dismissive of my feelings. she has recently called me sensitive, asked me to explain my perspective on things but did not take it to heart. i can only believe that her love for me is genuine, and maybe i'm wasting my breath, but i'm not holding my tongue to protect her feelings when she so blatantly disregards mine.

[timeoverload]

It was a pretty good day for the most part. I only had 22 cases and I wasn't too stressed about anything. Nothing bad happened. There was an add-on at the end of the day but it only took them 10 minutes so I was surprised but I didn't complain. I got out of there 15 minutes early.

I felt sick half of the day but I'm doing better now. I ate breakfast and lunch. The stroganoff they had at lunch was so greasy and it wasn't very good but I'm glad I ate something. I have been trying to eat as much as possible because my clothes aren't fitting again. I didn't think I had lost that much weight but I haven't weighed myself in months so I'm not sure. I just need to keep trying to eat as much as possible. I'm glad that my dad got pizza last night and that really helped so I appreciated that.

I have been trying so hard not to be negative and think more positively. It's not easy but I'm doing my best. I want to try not to complain so much.

Maxwell, I was thinking about you all day today, as usual. I know you were thinking about reaching out to me over the weekend but you didn't. I am not upset with you at all. I know that you are trying your best and I think that counts. Please don't beat yourself up about stuff. I have been in your position before and I know it isn't easy. I know how hard it is to put yourself out there because I have done that many times for you. I know how scary it is. I think it's sweet that you get so nervous about talking to me. I promise I don't have cooties. You can't keep acting like you are going to die if you try to talk to me or that the world is going to end or something. I know for a fact that nothing bad is going to happen. You will be rewarded. I can tell you not to be nervous but I know it doesn't work that way because I feel the same way you do. I remember when I tried to message you last time, I had to have a couple drinks first because I was a nervous wreck. I didn't get drunk though. I didn't want to admit that I had to do that but I think sometimes you need a little liquid courage in situations like this. I am not encouraging you to get plastered, it was just an idea I had and it worked for me. I know you don't drink that often so that might not work for you but I don't know. I think that you try to plan things out too much in advance and when the day comes, you psych yourself out. Maybe it would be best if you don't try to tell me when you are planning on reaching out to me so there isn't as much pressure on you. You can surprise me. That is totally fine. I want you to know that you can message me whenever you want. It doesn't matter what time of the day it is or whether I am awake or not. I would be happy if you were the person waking me up. I can be a heavy sleeper sometimes so I don't know if I would even hear my phone go off. You could even send me a message while I am working. That would make my day. I literally do not care when you decide to do it and you are never ever bothering me. I'm not going to get upset if we can't hang out immediately either. We can always plan something out together. I look forward to hearing from you sometime. I'm not going to be disappointed or angry if you choose not to reach out to me. I do think it would be good for you because I think you need me around. I love you no matter what and I always will. 💖💖💖

I requested the 25th of next month off just in case so hopefully they will approve it. I hope it doesn't turn into a big ordeal like it did last time but it should be fine. I know I will have plenty of PTO even though I have to use some for the 4th of July. I'm doing my best to avoid calling in because I don't want to worry about getting put on probation again for that. I will keep powering through. I want to save my time in case I have a good reason not to go to work or if I get really sick again.

Anyway, I want to try to relax now. I stayed up too late last night but I always seem to do that on Sunday nights. I will try not to do that again. I need to eat something and get ready for bed too. Tomorrow is going to be a busier day and I hope everything goes well. I will try my best to be in a good mood.

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow too. 💖💖💖

[golbrocklovely]

A weird advice ask, I'm sorry if this isn't the kind of thing you like but your older and wiser. How do you deal with social pressure? Like I'm in school and I'm a bit weird I guess which makes me stand out so in the past my classmates would bully me for being weird. So now I try to fit in with the social norms for fear of being bullied, but it's so exhausting and I just want to be me but I don't know how to be me if that makes sense? Do you have any advice on how to deal with this situation?

okay this is a long answer, so sorry about that in advance.

i'm not sure how young you are, but i'm gonna guess you're in high school. i'll tell you right now, the main thing to remember is that all the shit you're going thru is not important. all the things you worry about right now are gonna be something you laugh about someday. i know that's hard to realize in this moment, but as someone who's been out of high school for 10 years now, seriously - none of it matters. even the most embarassing parts are just something i roll my eyes at now. this doesn't negate how you feel currently tho. it's just something to realize if you start to get overwhelmed by it all.

regardless of this, to answer your question of how to deal with social norms, it's a bit of a complex issue. i think you realizing that you don't want to act like this anymore, or fake being someone you're not, is already a great start. not a lot of ppl would be able to admit that. idk what exact social norm you feel like you're being forced to do, but i'll give the two major ones i can think of off the top of my head.

first, since you said you don't know how to be yourself, i think your first step is take some time and write out down all the things you like. and i mean as many as you can think of. all the forms of media you consume, all the hobbies that you have, random niche things - doesn't matter, write it down. hell, even the guilty pleasures you have (like me back when i pretended i didn't like taylor swift in hs but that was also bc i was a jonas brothers fan lol). this list is for you only, so be as honest as you can be. remove all the judgements in your head and what other ppl would say if you liked these things, and just say to yourself "if i like it, it goes on the list." then once you've done that, write out all the things you like about yourself. i know that might be hard to do, bc maybe you feel like there isn't much there, but seriously - anything goes. maybe it's your laugh, maybe it's your eye color, maybe it's the way you're really good at doing math equations, maybe it's the way you treat other ppl - whatever it is, write it down. and don't be embarrassed if it's something really weird or something that would actually be seen as a compliment to yourself. first off, it's fine to be complimentary to yourself, but also who cares? this is for your eyes only.

this also means even writing out things you used to like about yourself that others made you insecure about. like, i have a loud laugh, and i've had ppl in the past tell me in a negative way that my laugh was too much…. i still very much like my laugh, regardless of how others feel about it. but there was a period of time that i didn't. if you have something like that, write it down too.

now that everything is physically laid out, you can now see all the things you truly like. so, if for argument's sake, you were pretending to like a certain artist bc others liked them, you can now look at the list and be like "you know what? i don't really like them. i'm not gonna pretend to like them." or maybe you realize you do like them, you just pretended to like them at first. and that's fine too. there's nothing wrong with liking niche things or mainstream things. if, for example, you like an anime that no one has ever heard of, realistically there are MILLIONS of ppl that watch that same anime. the only difference is none of them live in your town. the main thing to remember is you aren't an outlier as much as others make you feel. there are tons of ppl like you that feel the same way, act similarily, and like the same things as you.

now, if the social norms being placed on you are more about sex/dating/drugs/drinking, then this is how to navigate that: i was and still am a straight edge. ever since i was young, i never cared about drinking or partying or any of that stuff really. i was lucky enough to have friends that were in the same boat as me. not only that, we were all mega virgins in hs lol none of us ever were pressured by each other to do anything we didn't want to. if you have friends that are making you feel uncomfortable like that, cut them out. i'm telling you, there is no reason to be friends with ppl that will not accept your boundaries. they are no friends of yours bc they don't have your best interest in mind.

speaking of, know your hard limits. i know it might be weird or embarrassing to set boundaries (especially if you were like me - a walking floor mat), but in the long run it's better to have said no then regret saying yes. it's as simple as knowing you're not ready for that experience. if you know deep down you don't want whatever it is, say no. there is no harm in it, especially if you have even a slight suspicion that something is off or just you not being ready for it.

(sidenote, you can always just lie if it will get ppl off your case. if you're at a party, and someone offers you something and you don't want it, but they keep pushing - you can just lie to get them to back off. say "oh i can't drink. last time i did i puked everywhere." and then go into very vivid detail if you must. or if someone offers you weed, since most likely that would be the drug of choice in hs, just say "oh last time i smoked i got super paranoid so i don't want to be a buzzkill". if you make it seem like you're gonna ruin the vibe of the ppl that want to party, they will most likely back off. of course you don't have to do it this way, just saying "no thanks i'm good" will most likely suffice.)

when i was in hs, i didn't date. i wanted to, but i didn't. same as in college. i don't look back on that time and regret not doing that. i did for a while, but for the most part i'm glad i waited. i geniunely didn't like myself at all, and i know now that if i had dated back then i would have settled for anything. aka i would have dated the douchiest guys ever. my track record of crushes/loves kinda proves that lol i didn't have my first kiss until i was 17, i didn't drink until i was of age (21), and i've never done any form of drugs. i'm telling you right now, i missed out on nothing. i'm still very much like all my peers, the only difference is i might have kept a couple more brain cells from not drinking at such a young age. also, i wasn't the only one that was like this.

idk how bad the bullying is for you, and i know how bad bully can be (since i got bullied so bad in middle school i almost ended my own life) so if it's anything remotely like that, please tell someone. don't be like me and wait until you're at your breaking point. if it's just dumb teasing or looks or whatever, and you don't want to go down the route of telling someone about it, here's something to think about: who are you trying to impress by acting the way you do? look at the ppl you are impressing by pretending to be something you're not. are they just the bullies? bc if so, why do you listen to them? they aren't anyone important in your life, you shouldn't let them affect you like they are. i know that's easier said then done, but you have to grow a thick skin to let go and be yourself. once you realize that their opinions don't matter AT ALL, you will feel so free.

and if you're acting a certain way bc there are ppl in your life you want to impress - like friends or other peers you want to be close to - you need to understand that someone that will be your best friend or your confidant is someone that will love you for you. you won't have to be someone you're not around them. so it leads to the same conclusion of don't listen to them and stop being their friend.

if you're doing it for self peservantion, that's okay. it takes a lot of courage to stand up for yourself. but clearly you don't like it, so changing has to occur. it won't be easy, and it might take a lot of time, but it will be worth it in the long run.

knowing who you are at your core is a strength that not many ppl succeed at. some don't like thinking about it bc they're afraid of what they might uncover or realize about themselves. but honestly, you will be miles ahead of your peers if you know what you like and stick by it. if you know who you are truly, all anyone can tell you is who you're not.

i hope this helps you ! if you need anything else, please reach out again. if no one has told you, i'm so proud of you for taking these first steps and wanting to change <3 you got this !