#don't worry it's a happy ending bc i would never give them anything less

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

my dimiclaude+ their son alfred thought of the week (tee em)

claude learning medicine and studying so much that lorenz actually comes to fhirdiad to do some of his work (usually claude and dimitri split their work, so lorenz is taking claude’s share). claude knows alfred has a weak constitution and dimi is prone to collapsing from exhaustion so he’s constantly trying to prepare for the next inevitable time either his husband or son is bedridden.

he’s very happy he has a loving family but he’s also terrified because he grew up without love, finally found love with this family but both the people he loves more than anything in the world are basically on and off being at death’s door. he’s terrified of outliving both his husband and his son because fuck if any parent would want to outlive their child. he‘s scared to be alone again so he spends a huge chunk of time perfecting all kinds of medicine to handle their respective conditions.

also, lorenz holds off returning to school in fhirdiad for claude to finish his work. he knows claude is trying so, so insanely hard to make sure his family stays healthy and safe and he understands that dedication and respects it. he’ll go back to school once claude gives him the okay.

claude always sees dimi and alfred training really hard together to try to stay healthy and he’s grateful they’re trying, but he’s still so worried they’ll overdo it and it’ll cause the opposite effect. claude’s never been a worrier! this is new and scary for him! but every day he’s always trapped in those thoughts and that’s why he works so hard to do something about it, and he knows they’re both working just as hard to try to help themselves as he’s trying to help them.

[most-normal-eccles-cake-ignorer]

Good Omens: Lockdown and Crowley not mentioning his living situation in S2*

*till S2E6 when he asks if he can have his apartment back bc he's bored of living in his car but Aziraphale doesn’t hear bc mentally he’s in Alpha Centauri.

Having read the 'Crowley doesn't tell him' Neil Gaiman ask close to when I first listened to Lockdown (I lived under a rock until recently), my initial thought was HAS HE BEEN LIVING IN HIS CAR FOR YEARS?! but I think he was still in his apartment in 2020:

as far as Hell knows, Crowley just had a pool party in holy water (the holiest) so the higher-ups are probably willing to give him some space (plus Beelzebub is busy going on pub dates w Gabriel)

while there should be ~8 months between the end of Season 1 events (The Very First Day of the Rest of Their Lives on Sunday, Aug 25, 2019) and the Lockdown phonecall (on or near the 30 year anniversary on May 1, 2020), I can't imagine that's a very long time for Hell, especially if you're understaffed and busy dealing with fallout from Almostgeddon / going on pub dates

Shax dropping off mail and asking about the boiler seems like something one does in the first few months of living somewhere, not ~3 years in (if S2 is in 2023)

That said, I think the phone call underlines why Crowley never directly tells Aziraphale that he is living in the Bentley in S2, and it's just a great conversation (all hail Gaiman) sooo I wrote about it:

***Note: This post analyzes the Lockdown phonecall from Crowley's perspective only. Our heroine is feeling quite emotionally vulnerable at this point in time so things are going to hit him harder than they normally would.

I do not think Aziraphale meant to cause him pain (!!) but Crowley can't see that yet and I've written this post in a way that reflects that missing insight. (I explain in more detail in this reblog if you are interested) I am working on a companion post for Aziraphale's side of this conversation and how I think it affects his behavior in S2 because if we know anything about these two, it's that their exactlys are different exactlys.***

Crowley’s habit of sleeping to skip time like an RPG character by a campfire amuses me to no end, but in this context it feels heavy. Crowley already worries about losing time with what he loves and he probably hoped things would be different between him and Aziraphale after the events of S1. But things don’t change much. Then lockdowns start, and Crowley is trapped in his apartment alone, transcendentally bored, and unable to make his brain shut up. Sleeping a month away starts to sound less awful.

But Crowley hasn’t given up yet; he’s still awake when Aziraphale calls, and he’s even giving it two more days. Was he waiting for Aziraphale to call? Is it even possible not to at least kind of wait for someone’s call when you are cut off from everything and the caller has been your only friend and crush for millennia?

Aziraphale asks why Crowley isn't "out and about" tempting people or setting a bad example and he responds:

C: Everyone's so miserable and cooped up right now anyway, and I just… well… don't have the heart for it. A: *glowing audibly* I'm not miserable~ C: Really?

Crowley sounds genuinely surprised at Aziraphale's happiness and quickly assumes it's because the angel has been around people. He's so lonely/depressed/in his own head that he hadn't even considered someone enjoying being 'cooped up'. *sob*

Aziraphale goes No actually I put the closed sign up in the window and I'm having the Time of My Life, never had so few customers, not in 200 years!, etc. Although, he says:

A: …There were a few young lads a couple of nights ago who broke in through the back and tried to steal the cashbox! But they soon saw the error of their ways~ C: *clearly amused* Did you smite them with your wroth? A: Well I certainly gave them a good talking to, and I sent each of them home with cake~ C: *annoyed, swooning* Cake? A: Quite a lot of cake, actually. C: *physically ill from having such a giant crush on this dumbass baker/security guard* eeeekkkgghhh I'm gonna regret asking but.. ...rrgh.. *30 seconds of Aziraphale joyfully describing his baking while Crowley probably tries very hard not to imagine the angel eating each item in sensual slow motion* I stg you can hear him struggling in the background once or twice

A: …And once I've baked them, I have to eat them all myself, which was why I was so delighted— C: To send your burglars home laden with baked goods, yes, nnyeaayeah I follow…

Crowley interrupts, finishing Aziraphale's sentence in his nervous hurry to say the next bit:

C: *loud inhale* You know, I could.. hunker down at your place. … Slither over and watch you eat cake. I could bring a bottle--a case of… something… drinkable…?

He's trying to sound so casual about it but this is someone who was rejected/abandoned by actual literal God after asking what he thought were welcome, uncontroversial questions. Asking makes him vulnerable. He's supposed to be the rescuer, not a demon in distress. He does not feel casual about asking.

Crowley knows it's unlikely but he's so miserable and desperate for company that he can't help but ask, just in case. Even the smallest chance of spending time trapped indoors with Aziraphale—with nothing to do but drink, watch him eat, and talk about things they'd normally avoid—is too tempting.

A: *panicking* Oh I— I— I— I— I'm afraid that would be Breaking All The Rules! *nervous breathing* Out of the question! I'll see you… when this is over. C: Right. gnnehh. I'm setting the alarm clock for July. Good night, angel. *dial tone*

And just like that, Crowley doesn't need two days to decide. The depression nap doubles in length. He doesn't hear how badly Aziraphale wants to say yes behind the fear, or maybe he does and it hurts worse because why isn't Crowley enough for him? You can almost hear the spiralling:

SHOCKING, asking made it worse. It always does doesn’t it? Why even bother? you just embarrass yourself.. SLITHER over? why did I say that *grumble grumble* of COURSE His Holy Holiness, your only friend in the universe, would rather eat cake by himself while everything goes to shit than ~deign~ to have you in his presence. "AsK aND yE sHaLl ReCeIvE" bugger this for a lark im going to bed

(a bit dramatic but we've all been there)

I imagine sleep doesn't come right away. Maybe his thoughts drift to when he sat beside the angel at a dark Tadfield bus stop after a rather eventful Saturday. Crowley must've felt a tiny bit hopeful when he invited Aziraphale to stay with him: Heaven had withdrawn its favor and the bookshop was gone; Aziraphale was like him now. Didn't that mean things would change?

"I don't think my side would like that." Apparently not.

In the end, Aziraphale did ride the bus back to Crowley's apartment and stayed till the next morning when he caught a cab, but only to sell the illusion. Crowley understood that as far as sides went, the angel was still on Heaven's, even if Heaven wasn't on his.

And now this: the entire world is shut down; there is nothing for Aziraphale to do but stay in and read and bake in his magically reconstituted bookshop and he still won't invite Crowley in. Burglars and un-fallen angels only—nobody who asks questions.

So... of course Crowley doesn't tell Aziraphale when he loses his apartment. He already knows what answer he would get; the angel has told him so many times. Aziraphale is a company man first, a companion to one very sad owl when convenient.

If Crowley works up the courage to say 'please take me in, I have nowhere else to go' and Aziraphale goes 'sorry, no, far too political, but I WILL risk being erased from the Book of Life to protect this nude amnesiac former coworker who always hated me,' it's going to be too much. You can't sleep long enough for that type of hurt to go away. Better not to say anything.

"Then nothing has to change, does it?"

[bernardellinewsagency]

i had ideas for an entire galladay roleswap au that i just. completely forgot about. oh my fucking god. and when i say roleswap i mean *everything* gets swapped.

penacony is a land of elation, the most wonderous entertainment one could ever experience; if you can afford it, that is. it's a land blessed by aha, where you can forget your struggles and even become someone else entirely, if that's what you want. people think the joy associated with it is unceasing, but it's truly only temporary, and aha is fond of violent and chaotic ends for THEIR own amusement, and so gallagher knows people shouldn't rely on THEIR benevolence.

he is who people believe is closest to the elation in penacony. he's not a masked fool, and he hardly acts like how people would expect him to. he's not grandiose or over the top. he's simple, down to earth, but he makes sure everyone's stay is as best it can be, he creates miracles within the dreamscapes, and people view him as someone perhaps specifically chosen to spread joy and happiness to those who visit penacony.

in truth, though, he works for the enigmata, taking on mythus' duty of undoing all that's been set in stone by the likes of the erudition and finality. some people who come to penacony deserve no sympathy, but there are many who come out of desperation, trying to find some hint of a better life, a different life, where they can be happy. it will never last, the elation will always have to fade away eventually, but can't he try to give them a better ending once it does? if he can erase and obfuscate and rewrite enough, can't he change enough circumstances in their lives for the better?

sunday, on the other hand, is now the security officer plotting behind the scenes. halovians are a natural choice for security; the effects of elation can have some negative consequences, and it already has a reputation for inspiring criminals and terrorists across the universe. should someone find themselves straying from the joy they should be feeling and threatening to turn a sweet dream into a nightmare, they can be psychically nudged back into compliance and docility. plus, it's said that this psychic gift also makes halovians themselves immune to elation, or at least better able to ignore its effects, though that's neither confirmed nor denied.

he's still the adoptive son of the "dreammaster", but in a roleswap, gopher wood and mikhail would also be switching roles. the watchmaker would be the more well renowned leader of penacony, with gallagher or micah set to inherit his role if they haven't already. so sunday, still a follower of the order/harmony, is the one who's upset with how penacony is run, how the ideals it was founded upon have been twisted. how someone he looked up to has been forgotten, cast aside, treated like a traitor to penacony.

he may also be a memetic entity or smth. don't worry about it. also yes, this does mean siobhan and robin swap roles. i haven't thought too much about them, but sunday would be the one to "kill" siobhan and robin would unfortunately be relegated to the role of minor character which sucks bc i love her. but i also love siobhan and she deserves to have her time to shine tbh. i think robin and siobhan should be lesbians <3

anyways. dialogue snippet time!!

"people like to say that penacony's head of security is like a dove cause of your appearance, but it turns out you're more of a magpie, isn't that right? a damn thief of a bird, fitting since you're always taking things that aren't yours." "i've never stolen anything from penacony, much less from its leaders. out of the two of us, you're the one who'd know a thing or two about stealing." "me? you'd better watch your tongue, birdie." "you stole my father's legacy, you clipped my wings, you forced me to play this part, now you wish to silence me? how could you not be the one here who knows the most about taking what isn't theirs?" "your father was nothing but a vulture, stealing the scraps from those who actually put in the work and wanting to claim that he helped build penacony from the ground up, and when that didn't work, he didn't hesitate to switch sides. and you're turning out just like him." "impossible. you're impossible, you know that?" "oh, i'm impossible? no, no, i'll tell you what's really impossible. actually being able to spread the order's influence on penacony, that's what's impossible. do you really think that anything could bring penacony and its guests away from the clutches of elation?" "you seem to think so, working ever so diligently as a minion for the enigmata. following in mythus' footsteps as you try to erase the past; your attempts to overturn truth are futile, it's incredible how shortsighted you must be to never once grasp the fact that all your efforts will only ever be in vain." "you seem awfully confident there, little birdie. you think your precious order could do much better? these people, the fools who willingly come here to stake their whole lives on mere entertainment, will never know what order is like- and that's not even touching on the fact your aeon is dead and gone. unless you want to end up just like THEM, i'd suggest you leave now. go, before i have to force you out." "no. no, no, you won't, gallagher. you know why? because the order has just as much a chance of succeeding as the enigmata does. everything that we see here; everything from ourselves to penacony itself, it doesn't actually mean anything at all. because in the grand scheme of things... all that this is is just fate playing a cruel joke on us."

[lowkeyrobin]

Hiii im a chronically ill and disabled person and I was wondering if you could do a Ranboo x gender neutral reader that’s having a doctors appointment (list of things they would do for comfort when reader is fearful of being there?) :3

hi!!! and yes of course I could!! hope you enjoy! sorry if anything seems a little inaccurate bc I took some stuff I already know and used it for this and stuff but everyone's different lmao

RANBOO ; minor nosocomephobia

summary ; you take ranboo to the doctors with you for some moral support

warnings ; language, talk about hospitals/illness, nail biting and nervous scratching

genre ; fluff

word count ; 578

masterlist

he notices you fidgeting around as you're making your way up the elevator, picking at your nails, scratching your wrists, frequently running a hand through your hair, etcetera

they silently rub your shoulder and give you a little comforting nod as you travel down to the office where the nurses were directing you

you guys have to wait like a fucking hour after the nurse checks your blood pressure and does some basic procedures and whatnot

meanwhile they eventually reach into their enormous pockets and pull out a little fidget toy for you

"you better stop picking at your nails before I smack you. slash lighthearted"

he ensures that while he blabbers on about dumb shit, that you at least smile or giggle

he understands that you're nervous and with the long amount of waiting, it doesn't make it any better, delaying it more just makes you more anxious

if your focus strays away from the fidget toy he brought for you, he's got three more don't even worry bro

while the doctor is asking you questions, you keep looking over at them like they're gonna speak for you because you don't know how to answer some of the questions

at one point you have no idea what the doctor meant because the words got jumbled in your head from the anxiety

ranboo quickly answered for you in a heartbeat and apologized, considering they saw you silent trying to think

while the doctor has you do some physical tests to make sure your heart is running at a "you-normal" pace, he's hyping you up

if you have to do a 6 minute walk to track the way your lungs and heart pump blood and give you air to breathe, he's at one end of the hallway quietly shouting compliments and getting you through it with a little less embarrassment

the doctor is confused but supportive of him doing this for you considering they always knew you seemed very anxious around the the hospital and you seemed a little less scared about it

whatever to get you talking a little more could really go the extra mile, they're happy that you found a good way to do that as well, especially with it being a person

if for any reason they need to stick tubes on you or take ultrasounds around your body, he'll let you squeeze his hand all that you need to

they promise you your favorite fast food/takeout afterwards that way you'll try and get through it a little smoother

if you need him outside the room to talk to your doctor, he leaves in a heartbeat, he'll never disrespect your privacy, don't worry

he took pictures of all your medication bottles before leaving since he knew you'd forget to

you guys both messily botch the names while trying to pronounce them and you and the doctor all get a laugh out of it

he writes down everything the doctor says/recommends for you

they talk with the doctor in private for a bit and stuff while you're signing papers and shit

the sigh of relief once you leave 😭 ran literally looks down at you with a "yeah?"

on the way back down to the parking garage you're still fidgeting with the little tangle they'd given you because obviously going to the doctors because you're chronically ill isn't the funnest thing ever

gives you a big hug once you get to the car

"see? you're so brave and awesome"

"well, thanks for coming with me"

[theneighborhoodwatch]

002 - Popstar, Franklydear and whatever we call what Wally and Home have going on

(send me a character/ship to hear my thoughts)

i've gotten Multiple asks about all of these pairings, so let's not waste anymore time. under the cut bc unsurprisingly this got Long.

POPSTAR

when or if I started shipping it: i think it first Really started with this pokemon AU post clown made talking about what he thought they'd be up to in that universe... the language he uses in that post really caught my eye, and it just kinda snowballed from there, especially as canon started picking up and we saw more of them interacting 1-on-1.

my thoughts: i feel like we don't really get a lot of yuri in this specific Type of horror (i.e. cute thing is secretly fucked up), at least not in the west. i think that's a crying shame, but i believe popstar has the potential to truly open the floodgates. unless i'm forgetting herstory - idk i feel like there's definitely some rpgmaker game out there that'll prove me wrong but you know what i mean. more mascot horror yuri NOW.

What makes me happy about them: i think it's super cute that they both kinda geek out whenever one of them asks the other for help, like they're being asked by this big huge celebrity and not, like. their literal next door neighbor lol. sally in particular - as bullheaded as she is, her insistence on trying to put poppy in the spotlight more often isn't because she thinks poppy is untalented and needs to train up, but because she genuinely thinks poppy is Just That Stunning And Talented And Beautiful, and doesn't want that to go to waste. nepotism has never looked so romantic <3

What makes me sad about them: sally seems to enlist poppy's help Way more than poppy does sally's, and while sally clearly Wants to take poppy seriously, she has a hard time not immediately brushing off other's concerns in general because She's An Auteur, Dammit, She Knows What She's Talking About. it does make me very worried for poppy! i think things between them are gonna get Way worse before they get better lol. not dysfunctional enough to be toxic yuri but certainly painful enough that it will Get Me when it happens.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: THAT NOBODY WRITES IT

Things I look for in fanfic: MORE OF IT

My kinks: again, serious in-depth answers go on the nsfw blog only. i will say i think they're definitely those people who keep trying to set up roleplay scenes only to get distracted by trying to figure out the technical aspects and/or getting so in-character that they forgot what the end goal was.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: poppy partridge if you read this im free on Thursday night and would like to hang out. Please respond to this and then hang out with me on Thursday night when I’m free.

My happily ever after for them: after a series of trials and tribulations, complete with at least one breakup arc, the two of them reconcile in an appropriately dramatic apology-that-looks-suspiciously-like-a-marriage-proposal scene. i don't really know what happens after that. i was going to say they go on to become lesbian statler and waldorf, but i think they would both be too invested in trying to give actual constructive criticism, so maybe they just mst3k it instead.

FRANKLYDEAR

when or if I started shipping it: i dunno! i don't remember ever being opposed to the ship, but there was definitely a period of time where my approach to it was more "hmmm i wonder what this ship being canon means for welcome home's Themes" and less "ough fuck they make me so sick," as opposed to the current day where it's a pretty even mix of both.

my thoughts: god what haven't i said about them. i think i peaked with this post. i don't think anything i say can summarize the appeal of their relationship to me more succinctly than that.

What makes me happy about them: when it comes to eddie, frank is like. frank is so fucking funny bc he seems to be under the impression that he's being subtle. yeah get mad whenever anyone who isn't you makes fun of that beautiful big breasted mailman to the point where you'll even defend his honor in the merch advertisements and also when you Do make fun of him be sure to be gentler than you would be with almost anyone else but also don't let up entirely bc then you won't get to see him be adorably flustered and also enforce a surname-only basis with him so people don't think you're getting too chummy but ALSO drop the surname-only basis whenever he seems genuinely upset to let him know that you're worried about him and want to help. and also do this in front of everyone at a holiday party. nobody will suspect a thing. and the best part is that IT WORKS ON EDDIE. EDDIE ALSO THINKS FRANK IS COOL AND TRUSTWORTHY AND RELIABLE ENOUGH THAT HE AUDIBLY/VISIBLY RELAXES WHENEVER FRANK ENTERS A SCENE.

What makes me sad about them: EDDIE'S ASS IS NOT PREPARED FOR THE DAY THAT IT'LL BE FRANK IN THE PROVERBIAL LOVESEAT OF TORMENT. arguably neither is frank but like given how eddie saw frank at the end of the homewarming special? it's going to FUCK him up.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: when i click on the eddie dear/frank frankly tag. and i filter out all mentions of wally darling. i should not still be seeing wally darling. do u understand. get that little yellow cunt OUT of here!!!!!!!

Things I look for in fanfic: pre-established relationship hurt/comfort or angst. i realize i may be alone in my interpretation of franklydear as not being Together together yet, but i am stubborn.

My kinks: i wonder how many times i can say "ask for my nsfw blog" without it getting old.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: GOOD QUESTION. i don't think either of them would particularly struggle to find a partner if they didn't end up with each other, but i also can't see either of them being attracted to any of their other neighbors.

My happily ever after for them: these two images specifically. in general they should get to be huge cornballs for at least a little while should they successfully endure The Horrors.

HOME AND WALLY. HOMEWALLY? WALLYHOME? WHO KNOWS.

when or if I started shipping it: an old friend of mine made a joke about it once in 2022, waaaay before there was any like, huge fandom presence outside of a few scant discord servers. i thought about it too hard and now i'm here.

my thoughts: romantically or not, THEY ARE SOOOOO DOOMED, DUDE. THEY ARE SO FUCKING DOOMED. and i don't mean, like, "yeah they have some stuff that makes their current relationship less than ideal but i'm sure they can work things out ^-^" no i mean DOOMED. there's only one way this relationship can end and it is in BLOOD and TEARS. and i will be there with a tissue box and a big ol' bucket of popcorn. i've written about them so much on this blog already but by god i will write more.

What makes me happy about them: the obsessive aspect to their relationship, like. it feels very mutual. it would be so easy to make home coldly imposing 24/7 and/or just have them be taking advantage of wally's love for them, but. no. they seem just as attached to their inhabitant as he is to them, for better or worse. i get a lot more mileage out of a relationship where both parties Love each other and desperately want to be all-encompassing for one another in All aspects of relationships, but live in a reality where that simply cannot be, and their relationship is wildly unhealthy as a result. home is a monument to a past that either never existed or cannot be revived without Severe consequences. but wally doesn't care about that. all wally cares about is that he is his home. see also: this post.

What makes me sad about them: [copypastes the entire above paragraph]

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: most wally/home fic is either pure crackfic or fic in which home gets hit hard with the ron the death eater treatment. like jesus, he's already pretty morally ambiguous in canon by just Standing There, you don't need to make him an actual rapist to establish that his and wally's relationship isn't exactly ideal.

Things I look for in fanfic: i don't look for it because i've pretty much given up on it being there at all, but i hope more folks write some actual character study-adjacent stuff about them some day!

My kinks: i do have actual answers to this but no way am i stating them here. again, i have a separate blog for that.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE.

My happily ever after for them: you know that's not gonna happen.

[navvyu]

An: Thanks for requesting! this definitely took longer than i thought it would, kinda rushed so it might be trash. also i had to rewrite lilia's like 3 times bc im horrible at writing him lmao 〒▽〒

Vice-Housewardens with a yandere! Male! Reader pt 2

*Not beta read

part one here!

Warnings: implied stalking, implied murder/violence, creepy behavior(?), kidnapping (all by reader)

Includes: Trey, ruggie, jade, Jamil, rook, lilia

Trey

Trey definitely felt something to be off, but he really didn't know how to deal with it

though it was good that his dorm members weren't causing such a fuss all the time, it was concerning that the more problematic students seemed to disappear out of thin air

be started to get worried for his doommates so he intended to be around them more but it was just making the situation worse

so he did what he thought was logical, he pushed other people away to see if students would start disappearing, it ultimately lead up to him being captured though

trey attempted to try and manipulate you, failing miserably

overall he doesn't try very hard to escape but he still tries every now and again

""

Ruggie

ruggie, being who he is was a bit confused upon finding fresh food left at his doorstep...multiple times.... in one day

thought it was incredibly odd, he greatly took the food

and the (seemingly) last dish of the day add an odd taste and it made him light headed

when held in captivity, it depends on how you treat him.

if you treat him well (lots of food, heating & cooling, etc) he would be less inclined to escape

but if you are rougher with him, he'll try to escape almost immediately

either way he wouldn't be afraid to bite or scratch at you

he would never once stop trying to escape, but his attempts got a lot more spaced out

"Won't you let me go? Ive got places to be!"

Jade

jade originally somehow didn't notice anything amiss at first, he was just happy finding that his terrariums were thriving more than usual and floyd was othering him less

but eventually he picked up on some... odd behaviours

so he attempted to launch his own "private" investigation, wich made it increasingly easy to obtain him

depending on if you give jade a water container or not,

A) If you have a water container he would constantly be banging on the glass or trying to break it

B) If you don't have a water container he would try and bite you or hit you, he would also refuse to drink potions that let him keep his human form

though Jade is persistent, he could live alone and not bother you but he will try and be as big an inconvenience as possible

"You are honestly so disgusting, you fiend."

Jamil

jamil immediately noticed changing behaviour of his dormembers, along with somebody watching him almost every hour of the day

jamil was constantly on guard at all hours of the day, but he noticed that the feeling of being watched disappeared when he was near you so he absentmindedly gravitated towards you (it made it alot more easy to corner him)

in captivity Jamil is aggressive both physically and verbally

he is constantly trying to escape no matter how long he's with you (unless if you mentally break him, but thats gonna take a while...)

he may lay off more physically later but he wont stop insulting you as long as he can talk

"Your a person. How could you do this?"

Rook

rook, though an adept hunter, could not for the life of him pinpoint who was constantly watching him

even if he was aware of somebody obsessively stalking him, he didn't know if it was out of hatred or love, so he was often on guard

it was hard trying to get rook into captivity, but eventually you can lure him away from other people and knock him out

while under your 'care', he'd try to convince you he's trust worthy enough for you to let him go

rook often attempts to persuade you to do something so he can get an opening to attack or harm you

eventually he turns to insulting you to see how far your willing to go

rook ends up just shutting up and refusing to talk, eat, drink water, and other necessary things

"I hope you succumb to death, so i wont have to deal with your cruelty."

Lilia

lilia was definitely hurt when diasomnia members started avoiding him out of the blue

but at least some of the kids were more willing to try his food!

was definitely one of the harder people to capture and contain due to his hyperness

lilia doesn't like being confined, so he'd try and escape often

since lilia has probably been in a situation similar to this, it'd be VERY hard to keep him contained but if you somehow were able to; he would constantly be trying to escape wither you were there or not

he truly never gives up on trying to escape, but he mellows out and just watches you everytime your near him

"..."

[steveharrirngton]

Here to say that it wasn't "out of character" for Robin to be nice to Nancy...

Why the fuck should she have been mean to Nancy?

Like, if Nancy was some evil bitch who abused Steve, I would have understood that.

But she's not!!!

The only bad thing Nancy did was vent out to Steve as DRUNK about Barb's death.

Her words were harmful, yeah, but maybe you kind of forgot (or just chose to ignore) that she had to sopport her best friend's death, and all the conseguences that brought, for nearly a year, and it's not like Steve did much to help her recover, aside from telling her to soppress her emotions (worst advice to give to a person with untreated PTSD).

Robin had no reason to be mean or something to Nancy.

And she also has no reason to be mean to Jonathan.

Like, Jonathan did a bad thing, taking that topless photo of Nancy (and I agree it should have been adressed), but he supported Nancy way better than Steve ever did.

And also, he hasn't done anything bad to Steve, aside from the fight (which yeah, Jonathan started, but Steve is the one who mocked him, his mom and his missing brother, in a very homophobic way), so there's literally NO reason for Robin to be mean to either Nancy or Jonathan.

What I want to say with this?

Stop treating Robin only as an extention to Steve, 'cause she's fucking not!!!!!

She's an indepent character, who shouldn't and WOULD NEVER base her entire life choices and motives around a man!!!!!!

And also stop shipping Stancy, if you clearly dislike Nancy this much!!!!!

robin canonically holds grudges. she spent years hating on steve because the girl she had a crush on, had a crush on steve and apparently steve spills crumbs all over the floor. what a dingus!

i don't know if you count rebel robin as canon, but in rebel robin it is mentioned that barb ditched her for nancy. ta da! a reason unrelated to steve!

anyways, when i said i wanted robin to be mean to nancy at first, i don't mean she should kill her at sight. it would have been better for nancy to try to be her friend instead. it would have been better to see nancy trying for once.

also, didn't you ever hold a grudge on behalf of your friend? didn't you ever want to just kick someone's ass because they hurt your friend? this isn't about making robin an extension to steve, this is about friendship.

i don't know about you but i would definitely side-eye the people who hurt my best friend.

that PTSD wasn't only happening to nancy. just because they had different ways of dealing with their trauma doesn't mean one of them is better than the other. steve was worried about not only his parents but also about nancy and her family as well. him wanting to try and move on does not make him a bad person.

ignoring the jonathan part bc i really couldn't care less about him. the reasons for robin to be mean to jonathan is stated above anyways.

she WOULD NEVER base her entire life choices around a man??? literally when did i ever say anything about her life should be revolving around steve?

steve and robin are best friends. im really worried about you not knowing what a good friendship is. friends talk, make plans, and consider each other in every situation. in stobin's case, robin has a monologue about wanting to combine with steve bc she thinks they're better together. go off and make this about something that isn't. that's what you do best.

just because i view nancy differently, doesn't mean i dislike her.

i don't ship stancy. i will however support them if they will end up together. what's important to me is steve's happiness.

that being said, i will ship whatever i want, that's none of your business.

[heatwa-ves]

sorry i know this is coming from nowhere but please tell me about izumi i deleted the game before i ever learned anything about him 💔

oh my god ok. don't apologise I'm always always ready to infodump about my favs 💖

so. izumi is part of knights ofc and he's actually the person who made the unit along with leo back when their previous unit chess broke down. long story. he's also a model and has been modelling since his childhood which is where he first met naru and makoto.

he is uh. a bitch. in the nicest way possible he's such a bitch. in lionheart he describes himself as someone who's unable to be honest with himself so he comes off really harsh and rude but he does genuinely care about the people he's close to especially knights and also makoto.. sora describes him as having a very kind color and if sora says it you know it's true

his relationship with makoto is uhhhh. obsessive. they were really close as kids when they were modelling but lost contact due to I believe izumi changing agencies? something like that. makoto quit modelling and now they're at yumenosaki together and after the events of checkmate (izuleo relationship got really codependent and they were doing Very Bad mentally and leo ended up not coming to school for months bc he was Really Depressed) izumi got even more attached and obsessive over makoto as both a replacement for leo leaving and, to quote the wiki, was depending on him for happiness. also he kidnapped makoto at one point. anyway makoto was obviously Very Uncomfortable with this. over time now izumi is a bit more stable nd leo is back and they're less unhinged he's giving makoto more space and their relationship is less. yeah. but still not perfect like izumi is still a little obsessive.

I'd talk in detail about his relationship with leo but I wrote another whole thing on that so I'll just talk a bit, basically they met in first year became friends and it developed into leo seeing izumi as his muse and izumi relying on this for validation because he is honestly kinda insecure but would never let anyone know that bla bla bla leo left bla bla leo came back and now they're good! izumi still blames himself for leo breaking during the war and leo feels guilty for hurting izumi and izumi still struggles with loving and being loved but he's learning and they're messy but they're trying 💖 me when characters are healing and growing as people... aughgh... love them to death I reread lionheart earlier and was having a category 5 izumi moment he makes me feel unwell...

rn he and leo are living together in florence where they're working on modelling and composing respectively and they come back to japan semi frequently for knights activities

he's also really good friends with naru they also met as kids when modelling and have remained friends she will counter his bitchiness with her own <3 but they do genuinely have a level of understanding of eachother that no one else gets like there's a few scenes in euthanasia that really show it especially at the end where they talk about a shared desire to be adored.. one of my fav scenes in the entirety of enstars I love you euthanasia

izumi was really spoiled as a kid and his parents were really protective over him (only child moment) but because of that they were always the ones deciding things for him and he had very little agency of his own, he says in next door how his parents just wanted an ideal doll like child who's do as he was told, they loved him but they didn't love HIM if that makes any sense.

he's a huge tsundere (they say it about him in canon im allowed to say it too) even to leo who he's closest to like for leos birthday line he says "I just happened to be in the country it's not like i came just for you..." and near the end of main story he says texting leo is annoying because he takes a while to reply and loses his phone and I don't like waiting it's not that I'm worried when he takes long to reply...

also he is canonically a cat person and the official character introduction essentially describes him as cat coded which brings me great joy and he hates the summer... just like me fr.. and more fun facts he plays tennis and can knit!! a girlie of many talents!

anyway I think I will leave it here for now if you want to know more I am ALWAYS happy to talk about izumi.. he's my favorite character of all time and means the world to me

[prouvaireafterdark]

do you have any tips for new fanfic writers. the iwtv bug has gripped me and iim planning to dip my toes in but ive no idea no how to start. thanks and love your work xxx

Ahh, thank you! :)

And, well, I don't really think there's like perfect or universal advice on how to write because everyone likes different things and has a different process that works for them, but I'll do my best to list some things that help/have helped me!

Know your source material. Whether you're writing a canon compliant fic or something wildly AU, rewatching the show can help you get the character voices down and might make you feel less nervous about figuring out how you want your dialogue to sound or how the characters would behave in the situation you're putting them in.

Make yourself some tea. Idk what it is about a warm, caffeinated drink, but when I'm sitting at my desk with one it really helps me stay focused.

Start small if you're worried about finishing something big. There's no rule that says in order to be a fic writer you have to write 100k word masterpieces. In fact, my attention span is so fucked I usually don't write anything longer than 5k word one shots and I'm perfectly content with that. If all you want to do is try to get your feet wet with a 500 word ficlet to see how it goes, do it! Short fics are fun to read and much less pressure to finish.

Make an outline. No need to go crazy with it, but I usually sketch out the rough plan I've got with a few bullet points just to organize my thoughts and make sure I don't forget something.

Don't be afraid to write scenes out of order. There's also no rule that you have to begin at the beginning. I usually end up jumping around and making the parts I've written meet in the middle. If you vaguely know how you want your fic to start, but have a really concrete idea of how you want a specific part to go, just start there and work your way backward/forward.

If you get stuck, write the gist of what happens next in brackets and then move on to the next part. This goes with #5. I cannot even tell you how often I end up doing this and it helps maintain my writing flow so much bc instead of sitting there like "fuck, how do I wanna say this?" I can just be like "well, that's future Lynne's problem" and keep going with what I do have the words to write lol. You can also like just write a skeleton of dialogue and then go back and fill in the descriptions/their internal thoughts and reactions later if you don't know how you want to go about it yet, I do that a lot too.

Write what you want to read. Everyone likes different things and it's not really helpful to get caught up in trying to find an idea you think other people will like. Like I bet there are people who opened my fics, went "nope," and then backed out, but the thing is, I didn't write those fics for them, I wrote them for myself and whoever else ends up enjoying them. It also sucks trying to write something that doesn't inspire you, so if an idea isn't working for you, just... move on to something that does. You can always come back to it later (she says, avoiding eye contact with the WIPs in her folder).

Write. Even if you don't end up posting it, just giving it a go and seeing what happens is the only real way to start. You can always worry about editing later (either by yourself or with the help of a beta reader) or even scrap the whole thing and start over if you're not happy with it. I literally have docs that are basically just graveyards of whole paragraphs I deleted from WIPs but wanted to save just in case. The main thing to remember is that you're never gonna finish your story if you don't actually sit down and write it, so try to take the pressure off of yourself to make it perfect and just see what you come up with.

[nathank77]

10/31/24

10:32 a.m

It's been approximately 365 since I was forced against my will to spend a night in the psych ward and it permanently fucked me up. I'm trying not to dwell... but it's hard not to remember that I microslept and all the events that I'm now having flashbacks to that occurred this day approximately 1 year ago. I remember everything so vividly. I remember i hadn't slept for 4 days. I remember what time I was admitted. I remember what lead to me going to the e.r. I remember what I told them. I remember everything. And I mean everything.

I'm truly trying not to dwell but talking about things helps..considering i don't really have a therapist anymore. Erin stopped seeing me. Mike is sick and cancels legit every single week. And the new therapist canceled 3 times out of 5 appointments....... I didn't have therapy last week..i haven't had therapy this week. So all I have is tumblr.

Anyways I'm trying a new statin as of yesterday night. I have to take it 3 days a week... to try to mitigate side effects..... my wrist hurts... technically I couldn't have slept on it wrong. I feel potentially muscle weakness... idk....... I mean that's the problem.... before starting it I would occasionally have a muscle spasm. Or a sore neck or something from like sleeping on it wrong. Or muscle spasms bc of dehydration/stress/anxiety/caffeine. It makes it hard to know whether or not I am having side effects or if I am anxious and having tactiles....

I realize something very important. I don't have things to do. I mean just laundry, cooking, showering, running errands like grocery shopping.

What does that mean? All i have time to do is have anxiety. All I have time to do is freak out about thing, overthink and create side effects.....my wrist could hurt bc I slept on it wrong, it could hurt from doing the pumpkins. It could hurt from the statin too.

I mean it's problematic. I'd really rather not go on injectables... as a transguy, as happy as I am about testosterone I think about my testosterone it makes me remember it's a commitment to life long injections... or at least creams and gels which I've tried and don't like. The injection is ideal for many reasons. I can't transfer the gel onto someone else. I don't have to put it on everyday.

But as a transguy I truly understand the commitment it is to have to do biweekly injections for the rest of my life. Even if I get my ovaries removed.... id go into menopause in my 30s if I were to stop testosterone...

Of course this injectable medication is different.... but it's a commitment and not one im positive i want to do.

Yet as I'm typing my thumbs hurts... I feel as though it's hurt before.... cause I mean this generation is prone to arthritis.... being a gamer, someone who writes, and someone who texts and uses my phone.

I haven't met anyone. Life doesn't get better and I'm really considering running away since this dog is permanently here with my monthly check and getting that Airbnb and ending it.

I don't have anything to live for. If I was a someone i would pop a new medication. Go to work, pick the kids up, make dinner. And if I was to have anxiety about the side effects sure I could have some... but I'd have less time to dwell and worry about it.

I want to change my diet cause my cheese intake is disgusting and I know it contributes to my chlorestoral..

Sleep was awful last night. I had a dream where I woke up at 8:30 a.m and my alarms never went off. Idk how many hours i got. I must have gotten between 5-7... but falling asleep took a while.

The two nights before, I struggled to fall asleep, it took a while but I did.

Tonight I'm giving myself a tiny bit more xanax since it's the year mark of having spent a night in the psych ward...

I'm wondering how my thyriod is doing. As I'm hungry more frequently... and living behind the barricade I'm sure helps... but there is also another anxiety....what if I'm right and my mother would rather me live behind this barricade until Riley dies and this is my new life. Feeling like I don't matter at all to my family..

I wish I had something to do except have anxiety. I wish I was a someone. I wish the dog would leave..I hope the statin works out.

But it's like sometimes I wake up with neck pain cause I slept funny and id never say it was white mulberries or lions mane.... so it's like a catch 22. I'm hyper vigilant and anxiuos and anxiety can create muscle spasms. And I also have tactile hallucination still.

I feel like my life is purposeless. And I should end it before it gets worse.

[astrophelstella]

Lumine and Healers

The traveler gets into a lot of fights and dangerous situations. While they can't die or take permanent damage bc they're not human, they still need to see a healer. Probably frequently.

Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Lumine being unphased

Monstadt

Barbara is commonly seen fussing over Lumine in the Church hospital ward, gently lecturing her to be more careful and not be so reckless during her adventures. She's like Bennet but while its less frequent, her injuries tend to be more grievous. Bennet doesn't get into sparring sessions with the Wolf of the North every week. Its become a regular sight to watch the traveler limp thru the Church doors. She's so genuinely upset everytime she comes in with injuries, its like Jean but worse. Lumine never promises anything.

Jean being similar but more controlled with her scoldings. She's grateful for everything Lumine is doing and making her workload lighter by being more competent than all of the knights but she doesn't want the traveler to suffer. Leave the eradication of hilichurl camps to other people for a bit. Its giving 'disappointed big sister vibes'. Lumine just tells the Acting Grandmaster to do the same and watch her health.

Liyue

Imagine Qiqi stoically patching Lumine up, its routine at this point. While she won't say much Baizhu will. He's happy to gain such a regular but even he draws the line at the life-or-death situations she gets herself into. After the whole Beisht incident where Lumine literally launched herself in front of a diety only to get laser beamed into a mountain, he was fully exasperated the next time he saw her. It's like all his advice go in one ear and out the next.

Inazuma

It didn't take long for Kokomi to notice the Captain of Swordfish II being unafraid to face most things that have humans cowering. Lumine gets soft but blunt lectures as she gets patched up about facing a whole army on her own. While she did good making sure her troops got out unscathed they can't have them mimicking their Captain's actions. Lumine cleverly weaves her way out of the conversation.

Sumeru

Tighnari should have expected this. The first time they met she was passed out from accidentally coming in to contact with incense. Right after tending to her and prescribing medicine, the traveler went right back out into the wild, getting into every kind of trouble and danger known to man. He knows these types. His lectures are probably the modt ruthless out of everyone so far. He won't hold back until he knows Lumine would stop. Unfortunately, Lumine is stubborn as she's strong.

(Yes, Tighnari isn't a healer but there's no healers yet in Sumeru and he was the most suited)

-----------------------------------------------

Snippet:

"Hey Lumine?"

"Yed Paimon?"

"Why don't you care about getting hurt? It's impressive but everyone ends up lecturing you and being worried. Can't you be more careful..."

"... It never bothered me before."

"'Bothered you before'? Before what?"

"When I had my powers. I never felt pain. I never needed healing."

"Oh, that exains a lot."

"... and my brother used to shield me..."

[luimagines]

You know, since the Zelda games are in a kind of medieval era, courting must be a thing in all of the Link's time, more in Hyrule and Legend's era as they are the "first" ones (I know it is Sky, but the people from the sky don't strike me as being very stern in following the protocol of courting, contrary to their earthen people) and are more of ye olde time.

(Small warning as this was view with a female reader in mind, but I won't be making use of any type of pronoun besides neutral)

Hyrule is just a humble traveller, he doesn't have lands or riches to his name, not even a house for the both of you to settle. On top of that, his Hyrule is very dangerous and the menace of Ganon or any other evil being is always a possibility, to the point of making him lose sleep.

He lives on the go, always going to new lands and learning new cultures, which in result has let him admire all type of customs, clothing and jewels he would have never imagined if he didn't see it for himself. He had in several occasions pictured you with such objects, maybe as a gift for your wedding, the glint of the accessories would seem dull compared to the shine of your smile, the flowing fabrics swaying as the both of you dance together and the celebration of your marriage goes well into the night.

If only he had the money to pay for your price, but there's also the problem of talking with your parents, which might be impossible if you ask him due to the current situation. In the end, everything must remain a dream, he doesn't want to give you a poor life nor an early departure if he ever gets ambushed by enemies that for once proved to be more than what he can handle, or in the case of only him perishing, you won't have nothing and will be alone in a dangerous, unknown land as a dowry is something he will never be able to settle, he doesn't have goods to give to you, only what he had in his bag and person.

Legend have almost the same worries as Hyrule, but they are founded by the fear of losing you. He can make enough money for the two of you, maybe you couldn't live a posh life, but sufficient to live comfortable to the rest of both of your days. But no amount of money could stop losing his only family, he doesn't need a repetition of that event but this time with the family born by your union, something made by the two of you with love.

He also feels a type of social pressure; even if he managed to save Zelda and clear his name, there have been times in which Legend caught the stare of people looking at him over their shoulders, judging him. They still believe him a kidnapper, a traitor, and his attitude does nothing to appease their opinions. He doesn't want you to be a subject of that hatred if he ever steps fowards with his desire of courting you.

Twilight's concern is about what you think of his life style. He is a simple guy; he grew up in a quite, self sufficient little town and wishes to live like that until the day of his death. Having a family with you in a little farm is his biggest desire, but he would settle with only being the two, growing old together and living a ton of happy moments.

In case of a modern reader, he's afraid you will find his life poor and boring, he have seen how the city people gets sick and annoyed really quick of the country life and he fears you will do the same. The country life isn't an easy one; you have to wake at the crack of sunrise and having nice things aren't necessary, but you come from an era far advanced than his so even if he can easily get the extra rupees for a gift for you, it won't be anything that you haven't seen or own before.

If he can't give you or make you experience good things, then why would you be with him? He would be devastated if he couldn't make you happy if you ever took a leap towards his open arms and he failed in delivering what you deserve.

--------

Idk! I just thought "well, since they are from a different world and raised in ancient times, then they would have certain views that the reader isn't aware and it will actually worry the guys a lot if they ever develop a crush on the reader.

I skipped Time and Four bc I never played/watched OoT and Four swords. Wild and Warrior strike me as the one who cares the least, wild doesn't even remember them and while warrior is aware and would have gladly partaked, fighting a war made him lower the importance of following such strict protocol. You can't do it if you are dead!

This is.... perfect?

Amazing?

So well thought out and well articulated that I'm speechless.

Four would also have his own courting system from his Hyrule but he's less concerned with a dowry or gifts. He can make gifts and he has a place, a stable job and he knows that he can take care of Reader and a family should the future present itself. He knows he has all those bases covered.

But would Reader like him?

Height is a deal breaker for some people and while he's never had someone to put his heart out on the line before, he's seen it happen to his neighbors and friends, and while he's not necessarily insecure about his height.... He wonders if Reader would ever even consider him an option.

Time though?

Also no land, no house and while he has a job, it's low paying because he doesn't need much as a bachelor.

He's not so concerned with dowry or protocol though. Mostly because he didn't grow up with that on his radar, even after he couldn't return to Kokiri Forest, no one explained it to him and he's never asked. He's noticed some of the typical things when he's in town and the younger boys begin courting with the one their hearts desire, so he knows gift giving, and special treatment.

So Time will be more concerned with catching Reader's attention and making sure that he can at least provide when he gets back home because he's never needed anything for him. But it won't just be him anymore would it?

But a dowry? What's that? I don't know her.

I know you probably didn't include Wind because he's currently the youngest but I do think Outset Island as a vague protocol that he's aware of.

It's not Dowry or Courting Specific.

But I do think that there's a specific order to do things. Like ATLA and betrothal necklaces because there's not much else to say Hey! I'm engaged!

So Outset might have a similar custom of gift given but I don't know what that would be.

Maybe a shell necklace or a certain fish you need to catch to show them you're interested.

All things he wouldn't be able to do outside of Outset of course

[epicene-humanoid]

some trans Jeff thoughts:

he realized he was trans in elementary school and just went fuck it I'll just start introducing myself as Jeffery and see if anyone decides to stop me (as we know, jeff winger can get away with almost anything)

he got top surgery the second he could afford it (around the same time he started at his law firm), and probably bribed someone to keep it a secret

"I'm jeff winger and i would rather look at myself naked than the women I sleep with" are the words of a man proud of his transition

he's really insecure about his fashion sense, which is why he mostly dresses like the douchey guys at his firm in the start of the show, he thought you can't go wrong with the sleazy lawyer look

he will never admit it but he feels super good about the dean hitting on him, because the dean is a (cis) guy, acknowledging that Jeff is more manly than him

i think he starts out stealth and comes out to everyone one by one, probably starting with abed because he knows abed won't judge him and will probably just see it as an interesting backstory.

abed just says it's cool and maybe worth a prequel exploring Jeff's transition, and jeff asks him to predict how all of the members of the group will react to him coming out.

abed's predictions:

britta will be over-the-top supportive and do a ton of research about trans history, probably put together a slideshow just to prove how progressive she is, and jeff will be a little bit weirded out, but also touched that she did all that for him, though he would never let her know that

shirley will be confused, because she doesn't know how someone she trusts and knows so well could be part of a group she was raised to hate, but ultimately realizes that there's nothing actually against the lgbtq people in the bible, and, as a cool character development arch, starts to advocate against use of the bible to justify bigotry

troy will just think it over and decide that Jeff's physique and coolness are even awesomer knowing how much work he'd had to put in to be like that, and respects Jeff's manliness even more

annie will give him a hug, say something sweet about how she'll always love him, and worry about his health, because even she read somewhere that taking testosterone makes you more likely to have a heart attack, jeff will explain that the risk is still only as high a cis guy, and she'll be the one to always remind him to take his shots

peirce will say at best say "jeff winger used to be a chick?" and at worst call him a slur, either way there's sure to be a lot of misgendering from him, and pestering to know Jeff's deadname (needless to say, Jeff just doesn't tell peirce)

the whole group goes out of their way to keep their beach trips a secret from pierce (the girls don't want him there anyways, he's too liable to be creepy) even though jeff knows that even if pierce saw his scars, all he would have to do is make up a story about some childhood accident and pierce would never question it

sorry this ended up being super long. can I hear some of your headcanons for him?

YES ALL THIS!!! yes yes i’m fully accepting this as canon oh my god

i’m about to type a whole ass ESSAY at midnight because i have been DYING to talk about this for months ajfdksljk,,, this is going to be obscenely long and i might end up adding even more to it as i continue to rewatch the show because there is truly no shortage of trans jeff content (especially when you’re trans and see transness in every little thing ajdkslfkjs)

spoiler warning for literally everything about this show under the cut <3

i 100% agree, i feel like he realized he was trans super young, especially since in the show we see him as a little kid a couple of times. 

like look at little jeff with the oversized sweatshirt and little ponytail!! that’s childhood trans fashion. not to be dramatic but part of me thinks that jeff’s dad left before he fully came out to his family (which gives him even more angst about it, because until that one Thanksgiving episode, he’s never able to prove to his dad that he’s a better man), but part of me thinks that his dad left after he came out (which adds that spicy i-should-have-stayed-in-the-closet guilt that he has to work through). 

either way, because his dad wasn’t there, he had to base his concept of masculinity on something else, which was becoming a lawyer!! there’s some line that’s like “after the dust and divorce papers were settled the only man i looked up to was [the lawyer guy]”. like, replacing your father figure in your mind with the concept of “a job where you can talk your way in and out of anything and distort other people’s concept of reality”? that’s trans.

 and the fucking THANKSGIVING EPISODE... i struggle to watch it without crying hehe <3 yeowch! the dichotomy of willy jr. being the “wrong” kind of man because he’s “too soft” but jeff also not being enough despite adhering to all the social standards of masculinity... fuck!! this whole scene of him telling his dad “i am Not well adjusted” and talking about how he gave himself an “appendix surgery scar” when he was a kid and he still keeps the get-well-soon letters from his classmates under his bed? oh my god. the implication of people loving him not despite his scars but because of them?? trans. i can’t think about this episode for too long or i’ll start yelling.

OH and this scene? where he talks about how his mom got him a girl costume for halloween?? and everyone said “what a cute little girl” and after a few houses he stopped correcting them?? and “once the shame and the fear wore off, i was just glad they thought i was pretty”?? THAT’S TRANS... the man needs validation oh my god... and then in all the halloween episodes we see he has these ultra-masculine costumes (a cowboy, David Beckham, one of the fast and furious guys even though he never watched the movies, a boxer with his DAD’S boxing gloves... god) costumes are about becoming something else and he always chooses to be hypermasculine and that is trans.

THE PHYSICAL EDUCATION EPISODE!!!!!!! being uncomfortable during P.E. is a queer experience. period. but him being specifically uncomfortable in the clothes someone else is assigning to him? trans. “are we gonna talk about clothes like a girl? or use tapered sticks to hit balls around a cushioned mat like a man?” TRANS. and him eventually stripping in public? celebration of transness. and the fact that he eventually becomes comfortable in both the uniform and his own style!! trans!! god i love this episode. 

AND AND AND!!! the gay dean coming out episode!!! where it’s the three of them discussing the best way for the dean to come out as gay despite not entirely identifying with that label!! so we have both frankie and the dean who are sort of ambiguously queer, and jeff who’s a stealth trans man who’s probably only out to only the study group at this point. this scene where the dean and jeff have this like eyebrow communication while frankie is talking is just so cute. queer-to-queer communication. “I am so curious” “oh?” “intellectually.” “oh...” ajfdksljfk this scene just screams high school GSA to me and i love it so much.

and SPEAKING of the dean!! i totally see you on that. i feel like jeff has some internalized homophobia/biphobia (like he’d throw punches over someone else, but when it comes to himself he has a lot of shame). and also seeing the dean so confident in all his different outfits/costumes has a weird affect on him bc it’s like “okay, the dean, a cis guy, can do that, but i as a trans guy could Not because that’s Breaking the Rules”. which, like, throwback to the halloween thing. of course there’s no right way to be masculine, but mr. winger does not know that.

another thing!! the episode where their emails get leaked? that includes his emails with his therapist. fuck!! he was outed to the whole world in that episode!! no wonder he was so fucking angry!! this whole episode (and really any time he mentions his therapist) is so interesting when you think about them as a person he talks to about his transition. OH which adds to the thing with the dean!! “and you told your therapist you wanted to be alone this weekend” and “not you jeff, i know you’ll be visiting your dad” ”I told you to stop reading my emails”. luckily his study group has his back and just makes fun of him for emailing astronauts lmao

and WHO can forget “they’re giving out an award for most handsome young man!!!!” what else is there to say about this line besides: he’s trans. you know he didn’t get awarded enough for being a handsome young man when he was a kid, and no amount of compliments when he’s fully-grown can really make up for that. some people crash a kid’s bar mitzvah to cope with the fact that they struggled to be seen as themselves when they were a teenager <3

also his weird relationship with pierce? where he kind of hates him (understandably lmao) but at times has this almost-friends-almost-father-son relationship with him? especially in this episode where he’s forced to bond with him and ends up having a good time by accident (at a barber shop no less, the perfect place to Be A Man with your Man Friend). idk what to say about him besides the fact that pierce says his mom wanted a girl when he was born and made him dress like a girl (and his middle name is anastasia!) so if they’re gonna do any bonding over transness it’s gonna be that. 

okay one last thing and then i’ll shut up for the night. this episode kills me (and almost kills jeff hahahahelpi’mcrying). it’s a very Trans thing to not be able to visualize your future self, it just is. growing up trans at the time he did? i don’t know what kind of future he saw for himself, but i’m so happy that he ended up with a group of friends who became his family and love him the way they all do. i’m so emotional over this asshole it’s ridiculous. 

in conclusion:

they’re trans, your honor <3

[vic-chaos]

Where do I even start- this might sound weird coming from some stranger but thank you- for rambling about south park so much lol. I felt like I needed to say this, I have some intense feelings about the Post Covid special and just hearing and relating to your thoughts is kinda comforting as I´m trying not to put too much thought into the ending scene because it´s upsetting me what they did to Cartman. To be honest, I´m not a fan of Rabbi Cartman either (I try not to be vocal about it as it seems a lot of people liked him… oh well), but how he ended up was just… too cruel. I dunno, I just love seeing people rant about this, I feel less alone with my unreasonably strong opinions about things that weren’t meant to be taken this seriously. And I keep finding myself chuckling about “why did they have to ruin everything right in the last few seconds what´s their obsession with doing that” at the most random times throughout the day, lmao. I´m saying, please never stop typing your thoughts bc I love reading them,,

Oh it's not weird at all!!! And thank you for this actually 🥺💕 I feel like I ramble a lot for someone whose not even intending to be like a commentary/analysis blog or anything, I just have a lot of strong feelings lmao. But I totally know what you mean about it being kind of cathartic to hear someone else rant about something you yourself are angry about, its like second hand getting it off your chest haha. And yeah! I mean, this show is intentionally ridiculous and not intended to be taken too seriously (also a comedy above all else - even though as fandom we're more interested in the character drama aspects of it), but it's also really hard not to get in too deep when you're emotionally attached... even if that level of attachment is against your will dfjsd. But at least you're not the only one for sure, like we are all here in this together lmao 😭

Also that about their obsession with ruining everything in the last few seconds:

I keep just kind of hoping everyone knows what I mean by this because I assume it pisses everyone else off as much as it does me jsdgbsdfjsf. But if anyone doesn't know what I’m talking about or has been wondering, it's something like..... hmm... I think the most glaring examples I can think of are episodes like the underpants gnomes one where they spend the whole ep explaining why big corporate businesses overtaking small local ones is harmful, and then right at the last second they're like "nevermind lol!! 🤪 we love big corporations actually! its the fault of the small local ones for their product not being good enough". And in the goobacks episode we spend the entire time learning that the solution to preventing the future from becoming uninhabitable is to look after the earth in the present, and then in the last few seconds they're like "actually this is stupid, fuck the environment!!". Like....... !?!?

These are just two examples but they do it SO often, sometimes in slightly different or more subtle ways (like Stan's parents getting divorced - this one happened twice actually - which they desperately need to, and everyone was happy and better off... then they get back together at the last minute for like, no reason? Just to make Stan miserable again?) Speaking of Stan's parents another clear example of this is dead kids, where we spend the whole time sympathizing with Sharon being the only person who is as worried about the situation as everyone else should be. And then when her son gets shot you expect Randy at least to understand her now? But instead SHE'S the one whose like "actually you're right, who cares lol!!"

I think the reason they find it funny is because it's a last minute reversal of expectations, because you're expecting the kind of happy or logical ending any other show would give you and its like - oh wait!!! actually, *long fart noise* instead.

But like.... I wish they would fucking stop doing this 😭 LMAO..... or at least don't do it in a way that fucks up character development, that's already a mess on this show.....

[roger-that-cap]

meet me in the gardens

summary: being the widow of a decently wealthy lord and sitting on a large plot of land automatically meant that you were a candidate for the program that you couldn’t say not to; the hosting. you had to sponsor a knight and keep them in your home for an entire year, which was troublesome enough on its own. but you never expected your knight to be a woman, and you certainly didn’t expect to have a full on illegal love affair with her, either. 

warnings: lots of emotions, feelings, slightly cynical and bitter reader- she’s honestly just being a realist, we are chugging forward, did not check for typos, format could be fucked up bc i’m posting from my phone quite literally minutes before i clock in- PATHETIC LMAO

word count: 2.7k

this is a short chapter by my standards, but it felt long to me because of the things in it??? this is part five! all other parts can be found on my masterlist, it’s my pinned post!

“What’s got you smiling like that?” Wanda asked while she tied your corset, not even needing to ask whether it was too tight or loose. You looked up in your vanity and immediately tried to wipe your smile away, but it was too late. She knew you better than anyone, and she had yet to see a thoughtful smile on your face, ever. Pietro, who had caught you going back inside the previous night, caught on to the fact that you looked more carefree, and that you just seemed to look like you were carrying around less. 

“Nothing.” 

“Hmm,” Wanda hummed, an entertained look on her face. Something told you that she already had an idea of what was going on, even though there was no way she could have. Besides, you hardly even knew what was going on. “I’ll ask again later.” She looked you in the eyes through the mirror, a slightly mischievous smile on her face. “Maybe then you’ll tell the truth,” she said, flicking you on the side of the head, and then letting it rest.

§§

Natasha was out in the village doing whatever it was the knights did one night, and she was planning on spending the night at a bed and breakfast before coming back in the morning. As disheartened as you were about not being able to see her for your stargazing, you were partly glad for it. You missed being with the twins. 

You had dinner with them alone, sitting and laughing about old memories and scheduling times to make new ones together. You loved the way you could be with them. Your laughter was allowed to go over the volume of a giggle without them looking at you like you had grown seven heads, your silverware were allowed to take a tumble onto your plate with a clatter without a second glance, and you were allowed to use whatever language you pleased. You missed the comfort that you felt with them, the comfort that your brain and the part of you that would always be the farm girl felt with them. 

“And Pietro chased him all the way off, you should have seen how terrified he was,” Wanda recapped, and you couldn't help but grin at Pietro, who was sipping wine with his charming grin. “That boy will never lift another skirt, I can assure you of that.” 

“I’m glad,” you mused, shooting Pietro a look that made him laugh. 

“Enough about me,” he said after swallowing a sip of his wine that was much more like a gulp. “We’re not going to talk about how you’ve been walking on the clouds for weeks now?” 

You nearly dropped your fork again. “What do you mean?”

“We’ve both realized,” Pietro said, motioning with his buttered knife towards his sister, who had a soft smile on her face as she observed your reaction. “That you have been significantly happier. Even with the circumstances-”

“Pietro,” Wanda hissed, but you just snorted and shook your head. 

“It’s like you found your own little pocket of happiness. We were worried about you, but, you’re doing alright.” Ever the blatant one out of the three of you, he leaned forward with his trademark smirk, eyes full of curiosity. “What do you know that we don't?” 

You hesitated for a second, mouth opening and closing twice as you grappled for anything to say, even a lie. And then, you settled on just shrugging your shoulders with a grin, shaking your head. “Honestly, Pietro, I know nothing. I don’t know anything.”

§§

Your heart was beating faster than normal as you looked at the woman next to you, your hand subconsciously itching closer to hers as you sat on the ground, ass on the blanket that you had brought out.  “I would like to… show you something.” 

It was probably the twentieth time that you and Natasha had met with each other, and still, you were entranced by her and everything that she did.  And you were entranced while you stared at her and waited for her answer, just a little nervous as to what she would say. 

As if she would ever say no to something you said. 

“Show me anything you’d like me to see,” Natasha urged on, and you fought back a smile. You stood up, and she did the same, and then you were picking up the blanket and walking side by side with her. It was quiet the entire way there as you walked in step with her, hand brushing against her every few steps and sending tingles down your arm every time it happened. 

The feeling that you got when she touched you made you feel both alive and scared to death. You weren’t stupid. You knew what you were steadily collecting more than friendly feelings for her, and that she may have been on the same page you were on. The game you were playing was a dangerous one, the risk threatening to swallow up the reward more and more by the day. 

You had known that being with her by yourself was bad judgement, ever since the first time you did it. Hell, the look you gave her the first time you met her was far from appropriate. Every single conversation that you had with her was a risk, and both of you knew it. And now that your soon-to-be husband was approaching, it was even more scandalous. No one knew and you hoped no one would ever find out, but hiding forever wasn’t a choice. But what would you be hiding if there were no true feelings? 

You hated yourself for falling for her and her pretty words. 

“I used to come here to escape,” you started, pulling yourself out of your thoughts, voice low as you passed the tree line to get into the thick of the woods. You narrowly missed stepping in a particularly muddy spot on the ground. “This was my spot, before I got the garden of course.”

“The woods?” 

“No, Nat,” you said, slightly amused as you stepped over a fallen branch. You smiled a bit when the sound of running water hit your ears.  “The stream.” 

You knew the exact second that she saw it, because her eyes widened and her breath hitched.  “That’s not a stream, that’s a river.”

“It’s the forgotten part of the main river,” you explained. “It’s much skinnier and more shallow, and it doesn't have nearly as much fish coming through, so people forget about it.” You looked towards her and saw how intrigued she was by it, so you judged her armor free body with a slight smirk. “What? Never seen running water?”

“I lived in the capital, all they had was the ocean. And even then I was never allowed on the harbor if I wasn’t selling clams, and I didn’t sell clams much.”

You felt silence start to grow between the two of you, so you said the first thing that you thought of. “You don’t look like a clam seller.” 

He looked away from the river and to you, a slight grin on her face even as she talked again. “And you don’t look like a petal kisser, blossom, but look where we are today.”

Your heart raced in your chest. “Blossom? Is that what you’re calling me now?” 

“It’s only payback for calling me ‘cherry’,” she said, and you stifled a laugh at the retired name, glancing up at the red hair that you had gotten inspiration from.  

“You didn’t actually mind it,” you said, looking off into the distance, only looking back at her when a warm hand slotted over yours. You blinked and looked down at your hands, which she had intertwined, and then back up at her again, only to see that she was staring straight ahead in the dark at the way the moonlight hit the water. 

“How could I?” She asked softly, a subtle breeze picking up.”You were the one saying it.” She looked at you, and in the dim lighting, you could have sworn that her eyes were saying, you can call me anything in the book, and I will own it proudly. And then, the look changed to something else, something less devoting, and something more passionate. It took you a few seconds to understand what the look meant, and before you could fully register it, she was leaning forward. 

A few seconds came and went where you could feel your heartbeat all over, and you tried to look somewhere other than in her eyes. You couldn't. “Don’t look at me like that.” When all Natasha did was tilt her head to the side and give you an even more intense version of the look, you let out a small sigh. “Please.”

“Why not?” 

She knew why. She knew why probably better than you did after living in the capital. She saw what happened firsthand to people who committed crimes, and those who committed second degree adultery. If you two did what you were wanting to do with your entire heart, you would fall right into that category. “I know where this is going,” you said softly, “and this won’t end well.” 

“Why not?” She asked again, and you turned your head to the side, shaking it slightly and closing your eyes. 

“Because, I’m about to get married,” you hissed, and though you didn’t mean to sound so angry, you did. Natasha was hardly affected. 

She lifted her arms and let them fall against her clothing with a soft slap that still echoed in the night. “You’re not married right now.” 

“But I will be, Natasha,” you said, gripping her hands and squeezing  them softly, begging for her to understand you. “What’s going to happen when I get married to a man who already has a streak for murdering his wives, and he finds out that I have feelings for you? He’ll kill me. He’ll kill you. And if he doesn’t, we’ll both be hung for adultery, after being put into torture camps for being… together as women.” 

“I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, Y/N, you know that.” The fervency in her tone nearly shocked you as she took a bold step forward, nearly surrounding you in her scent and energy. “I would never let anything happen to you.” 

“You’re too important for me to condemn to death and dishonor just because I have feelings for you. It was selfish of me to meet with you in the first place, but I can’t let myself do this. It’s a bad idea,” You said, voice hushed even though no one would have followed you. You were trembling, hand shaking more than anything else as you tried to understand how fast everything was moving; forward and backwards, sewing together and ripping apart all the same. If you were any more attentive to her expression, you would have seen the grin that lit up her face as your confession. “We were just about to cross a line. We’ve crossed quite a few dotted ones, but this one? It is bold and blaring.” 

“Blossom,” Natasha started, and you just shook your head and kept going. 

“And-and what we were just about to do? That crosses the line. We cannot.” 

“Do you really think my feelings for you are going to change depending on whether or not we kiss?” She asked, her voice slightly deeper than usual, almost sounding insulted. “You’re telling me to close my heart off from you, not to not kiss you. And you know that.”  

“What if I am?” You asked, eyes starting to burn with tears. “I’m doing it for the right reasons, Nat. I’m trying to save us from a world of hurt when reality finally sinks in.”

“That isn’t today.” She took another step forward and this time, you couldn't find the strength in you to step back. “And it isn’t tomorrow, and not even within the fortnight. You and I have something, and I know that you know it’s different. It’s special. We would be so stupid to ignore it, so stupid.” 

“I know, I know,” you said, voice tapering off into a whine as you slowly felt your resolve come apart, even though you thought it was stronger. “I’m sorry.”

 “You don’t have to apologize,” Natasha said after a few minutes of pure silence, and you found yourself exhaling. “I just wish things were different.” 

  “I know,” she said, and you turned to look up at the sky, tears threatening to come down on your cheeks. The stars seemed to twinkle and wink at you, talking amongst themselves about a future you had no idea about just yet. 

“Guess they’re never gonna line up,” you murmured to yourself, and then you heard Natasha grumble something from your side, and then she was coming closer, a barreling energy force full of passion and intent, and you knew exactly what she was coming for. For less than a split second, you thought about it. And then you turned your head and met her halfway. 

You would have been surprised by the passion in it if you weren’t just as desperate for the contact. You twisted in her arms, already wrapped around you as she drew you in close, closer than you had ever been with her, and the tears that were welling up before were now escaping for a different reason. Your lips were pressing into hers, moving fluidly and with an air of fervor that she matched equally. You felt wanted, and needed, and you felt loved. You felt the tenderness of the moment with every brush of her fingers on the back of your neck and with every rub of your back over the thin material of your night dress. 

Your legs were shaking, and she noticed before you did that you were getting weak in the knees. She held you up and pulled back slightly, just enough for you to feel her lips brush against yours while she asked if you were okay, like she wasn’t willing to take herself from you just yet. And honestly, you weren’t ready for her to leave you, either. You nodded, and she leaned in again, much slower, and then you had time to think. 

Her eyes weren’t the same shade they were when the sun hit them, they were almost an eerie pale blue, but they were still just as gorgeous to you, especially now that they were slanted with desire. Her hair wasn’t perfect like she somehow always managed or it to be, and you realized that it was because you had gotten a hand to run through it despite the way that she had previously held you like a lifeline. Her lashes were long, and you swore that she was close enough that you could count them. Her cheekbones were accentuated in the lighting, making her look like something straight out of a fairy tale, like a floating fae creature that led people to safety. In that moment, you could have sworn that she was the answer to every prayer you had ever whispered, to every question you had ever asked your etiquette teachers. In that moment, and in every moment to come, she was your ending and beginning, your creation and destruction, your sunrise and sunset. She was Natasha Romanoff, and in that moment, no wedding or murderous man even held a candle to the way you felt about her.

  What a beautiful person. 

“Now you’re looking at me strangely,” Natasha said, her voice quieter than you had ever heard it as the both of you treated over the moment carefully, trying not to break it and leave it in shambles. “What are you thinking about?” 

“How I’m going to have to pretend like this never happened in a few weeks,” you said softly, and part of you hated yourself for bringing up the bad part of the future so soon after you both had just lost all ties to reality. 

“You don’t have to,” she said, stroking your hair. “We can just keep doing what we’re doing, sneaking off in the night and coming back in the morning before anyone realizes. Nothing really has to change, I just want you to know that I… that we can be whatever you want us to be.” 

“As long as we’re in the confines of the garden walls.” 

“And now the woods,” Natasha said, and you couldn’t help but laugh in her arms. 

“And now the woods."

****

this is short, but i couldn’t see anything being tacked on to this. we’re at an important part, and from here it’s gonna be fun!! thank y’all for reading; if you liked it please drop a like and a reblog bc it makes my day!! comments also make me ascend y’all

tags!! : tags! : @teenwonder @saamwilscn @procrastinatingsapphictrash @fayhar @8plasma @slut-for-nat @dontmindmejustreading @swords-are-cool @200605chaeng @thescottishavenger @antidaytime @jenny-song @madamevirgo @natasha-danvers @blackxwidowsxwife​ @shycucumbersandwich @dailyavengering @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @ima-gi--na-tion @chickenhavewisdom

so sorry if i forgot anyone!!!!!

[russellshaws]

Hello, I wondered if you wouldn’t mind sharing your thought on Chris/Ashley and where you think they might be going with these storylines? I always thought they existed simply to progress chenford but I’m not really sure now. And how do you feel about Chris himself? I’ve seen people say they think he’s got Lucy questioning herself and tbh I can see that.

i'll just start here by saying point blank: i don't really like to speculate publicly because as much as we'd all like to think we know what's going on...we don't, and it's a lot more enjoyable (to me, at least) to watch a show that i haven't totally figured out.

that being said, i really do not feel that chris or ashley are anything to worry about whatsoever, so i can speak on that.

also this isn't massively long, i just wanted to keep it shorter in the tag to give people the option not to have to scroll past a bunch of text!

yes, they both exist as love interests to further progress chenford, but moreover: they exist to further progress tim and lucy individually, and i think that's the piece a lot of people are missing. they've given us approximately 3 pieces of individual information about both of these characters...which is a good thing, we don't want them to be highly developed, interesting people. they've introduced their relationships in ways that serve the chenford story, they've been involved in plots that allow/incite chenford interaction, and they're non-existent (for the most part) outside the scope of their relationships. that's what you want in a mid-game love interest...blah-ness.

i will say, because i'm sure someone will point this out: yes, chris had a scene last ep wherein he was not with lucy, but with del monte...but that was specifically to serve the plot, and that makes sense to me – the way the last episode was crafted (beautifully, might i add) wove like six different small plots into one large plot, so seeing those two stand alone was just reinforcing things rather than fleshing out chris. if anything, it gave us more insight into del monte (who, truly, it is paining me not to be calling hot uncle cooper) than anybody else.

anyway: chris and ashley exist to serve the lucy and tim stories, respectively, so yeah – maybe you'll see chris pushing lucy one way or a story that is less about chenford and more about lucy, but at the end of the day, all of that is, imo, leading us towards the chenford we want. lucy's allowed to have a relationship that isn't with tim the same way tim is allowed to have a relationship that isn't with lucy! i would like them together just as much as the rest of you, but truly – trust me when i say we don't want it rushed. what we're asking for in looking for them to get together right now is...the wopez treatment. the john/bailey treatment. a check in at the beginning and a check in at the end, maybe a little interaction in the middle. i don't know about you, but i'd much rather see them in scenes together and working than have them sidelined.

i digress, tho, bc that was not your question.

i do think chris has lucy questioning herself a bit, and honestly? i think that's a good thing. chris is clearly not firm ground for her – and he shouldn't be, he's brand new. they're still learning each other, and i think knowing lucy (that she can be non-committal, that she's never been in a very serious relationship, etc.) and knowing that she is the type of person that questions herself easily...it doesn't seem all that long-haul. plus, the fact that she went to tim to see about chris' thoughts was truly cake...like, tell me you know that someone knows you well when you literally value their opinion over your significant other/potentially, in that moment, your own.

anywhoo, chris is fine in the same way ashley is fine. i don't care about them, i don't hate them, i'm just indifferent. they're literally just pitstops so i'm just like...alright! i'm happy to see lucy happy. i'm happy to see tim happy. it's just a part of the long game, you know?