#don't waste your time on things that don't matter
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don't doomscroll, DO SOMETHING. Don't complain, TAKE ACTION. here are things you can do:
call your Congresspeople. If you are living in a Democratic district, this is so easy! Tell them how YOU want them to fight! Don't just sit back and complain that "Dems in congress aren't doing what I want." CALL THEM AND TELL THEM WHAT YOU WANT. EMAIL THEM. And be nice about it, lead with the illusion that you trust them to do the right thing. "I know you don't really want this to happen, you're a good person!" methodology.
If your reps are like mine and horrible horrible monsters like Byron Donalds, then you have to make your phone calls differently. You gotta strategize these. There are two ways to do this: 1) be incredibly angry and aggressive, but filibuster about it. Don't give them any ability to get off the phone. Don't curse or insult, just properly outraged. The key here is to WASTE THEIR TIME. I spend about 45 minutes on the phone with one of Rick Scott's people once. The other way, i think is more effective, but this is better than nothing. The other way, 2) is to frame the specific issue you're calling about from the most conservative angle possible. If you're calling to support Ukraine, cry about how your daddy fought in 'Nam to stomp out communism, now you want to let a KGB guy like Putin bring back the Soviet Union? Act super fucking scared of communism. Say the words "KGB" and Putin together over and over. Talk about how America doesn't roll over for Russia, not now, not ever. This is just an example of a particular issue, but it can apply to any. My mom calls it the "sandwich technique." Lead with a compliment, then say what you really mean, and end with a compliment. People get tricked into changing their minds.
I realize this is tumblr so if you are really really that phone-phobic, apply this to email. But really, this is worth making the call for. The call cannot be fully ignored. An email can.
Join the class action lawsuit against the government for Breach of Privacy if you have Social Security or Medicare, and tell people you know who do to join it.
get involved at the local level. Agitate at city council. hell, RUN for city council. I promise you that no matter how unqualified you think you are, less qualified people have run and won. There was a town that had a golden retriever as its mayor for a while. You have to start thinking locally. You have to start doing things ALL THE TIME, not just every 2-4 years. This isn't just voting, but making your voice heard. That tumblr post about ten people showing up at a council meeting being able to change thing significantly? True. "But I live in a red area!" yeah, so do I, and that makes it even more important, since they're doing shit like banning books in schools here.
Run for office!! I just said that, but seriously, run for office!! AOC was a bartender before she got where she is now!! If I were not completely disabled, I'd do it. If you don't feel like it's for you, think of the people in your life who are capable who might be persuaded!
Focus on the real enemy. It's Republicans. It's not Democrats. Like I said, if you're unhappy with the way your Democratic rep is doing things, TELL THEM. Sitting outside the party and criticizing accomplishes nothing, it only weakens our only opposition party in this country. If you want to talk about third parties, MAKE ONE THAT'S VIABLE. But realize that will probably be decades of work. Stop complaining and start doing, start reaching out to the people who at the moment have some ability to do things and influence THEM. You can say a lot of things on the internet and expect to change the world, but you won't. (Yes, I realize the ridiculousness of me posting this on the internet, but I will be doing things, too, not just shouting into this void)
#i fixed my major typo lol#but this is getting notes with it#THAT'S FINE I'M FINE#i have brain damage folks forgive the typos and be impressed instead? lol
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Immortal Sentences, Vol. 5
(Sentences for immortal muses. Adjust phrasing where needed)
"What would we not to do defeat death?"
"My life is just like yours, except for one small difference: it never ends."
"Revenge is a long game, and all I have is time."
"You never change - except, of course, in every way that matters."
"Are there others like you?"
"I wasn't always like this, you know."
"Change is part of nature, but I'm not."
"If you live long enough, anything is possible."
"I've seen a lot of death, a lot of pain, a lot of suffering - but I've also seen a lot of life, a lot of beauty, a lot of wonder."
"If you could, would you bring him back to life?"
"When you are immortal, you have to be reminded of beauty. Days stretch into years, stretch into centuries. Time can lose its meaning."
"Eternity is not really a blessing, but a curse."
"The past's never just the past."
"I will love you until time has lost all meaning."
"There's almost nothing in this life that I haven't done, except leave it."
"Nothing is final. Not even death."
"Time is not as rigid a concept as most people would believe."
"Die? That's the last thing I shall do!"
"I'll be gone someday and you won't."
"Everything that's ever lived has to die."
"Do you ever think about your legacy?"
"Memories, like photographs, have a way of fading over time."
"There are things for all of us that not even all the time in the world would be able to erase."
"I don't belong to this time period."
"All I know is that I was dead and now I'm not, and that everything has changed for me."
"In this mortal world, you'll always be shunned for your uniqueness - but not with me."
"This may come as a surprise to you, but I still fear death."
"Don't you know your history?"
"The problem with living forever isn't the loneliness, or the pain, or the loss. Okay, sure, it those things, but what really gets you is when life ceases to surprise you."
"We have existed this way for thousands of years. Who are you to challenge our ways?"
"When the poets write of death, it's invariably serene. I wonder if that's what it is really."
"Youth is wasted on the immortal."
#rp meme#rp memes#roleplay meme#roleplay memes#rp prompts#roleplay prompts#sentence starters#immortal;#assorted;
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I was just gonna mumble something in the tags but I actually have Thoughts on this so here goes.
I don't care for LLM chatbots. No matter how impressive people keep insisting they are, I have always found them to be disappointing (perhaps because I am asking the wrong questions, but I don't think asking it to write a Shakespearian sonnet or remind me of a word I've forgotten based on a definition are very weird prompts, and it fucking sucks at both of those).
I do use them to gauge them, though. I am curious about what kinds of responses other people who are actively using them are getting.
One time I asked it what autistic people are like, just to see what it might be telling neurotypicals that people like me are like. It rattled off a number of broadly accurate things, but in the middle of everything it slipped in something to the effect that autistic people are not very good with art.
When I asked it about this, it immediately backed down and said I had misunderstood it, but it does bother me that it may well say something like that to someone else who knows less about autism.
These bots are known to be good at replicating human biases, so there is no doubt in my kind that it was, at the end of the day, replicating an already existing stereotype.
I think the stereotype that autistic people are on some level not well suited to make art (or even uninterested in it) is in turn by a mythical quality that I think of as "anti-intelligence", which is something distinct from stupidity.
The theory of anti-intelligence goes like this: there exists a human trait called intelligence or logicalness, which makes you Good With Math. If you do not have this trait, however, then fret not! The more Logical (capitalisation is tongue-in-cheek) you are, the less of something else you have, because Logic is the Yang to Intuition's Yin.
Intuition, or Anti-Intelligence, is a purported trait that makes you Good With People and also Artsy. Intuitive People might never be able to grasp math (and honestly, they should as well just give up on it, if you're too artsy you're never gonna be good at that stuff anyway), but they understand things Logical people in turn could never understand, like Love and Drinking Coffee With Your Friends (so illogical!)
The most snide interpretation of this that I as a stereotypically Logical person could make (my love of art and rhetoric are just aberrations, by the way: I shouldn't be wasting my time on them) is that this is all just people who are Bad With Math coping.
The stereotype also plays into pseudoscience about the hemispheres of the brain, and I think a lot of people who identify as Intuitive or Logical may do so with terminology like "left-brained" and "right-brained".
I think the trope of a Logical character not understanding social interaction is in part simply derived from the observation that Autistic people are often Logical and also struggle to understand and be understood by neurotypicals, but at this point it's become a self-sustaining cultural image that informs how a lot of Not Very Logical people think Logical people are.
I find all of this very frustrating because I don't think art or social rituals are illogical at all: they just appear to be if you are personally navigating them with gut feeling without analysing them further. A bit of gut feeling might well be necessary to do things quickly and smoothly enough (that is my main personal struggle with autism: not that I do not understand social situations but that I understand them too slowly, and my gut instinct often makes oversights that I notice a minute after I make them), but that conversation is completelt lost in a culture where Hanging Out With Friends is treated as Magic Beyond the Understanding of Those Dorky Scientists.
fish-out-of-water character in science fiction to whom humanity is deeply alien, but who does not continually get themselves into awkward social situations because they looked up Human Ettiquette For Dummies, they learned about basic human social dynamics including how humans bond socially, and it is immediately obvious to them after five second of introspection how a highly social tool-using species like humans would benefit from spending a lot of time building social ties
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ThE aMeRiCaN dReAm 🤪
#american dream#doesn't exist#the cake is a lie#don't waste your time on things that don't matter#meme#but actually real#dank memes#funny
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too cold and miserable for a mental health walk so we're watching this instead today, lads
#it's no more a waste of three hours than scrolling any social media at all right now is.#today's mission is to not scroll so much that I lose my optimism. that might be the mission for a long time going forward#but we do what we can for the next few years.#and all I can do right now is keep myself feeling okay enough that when the opportunity to do something comes up-#-then I'll have the fortitude to be able to.#but as of right now it's just a matter of 'keep your eyes on the end of the tunnel'.#what we WON'T be doing is reading 'you're just as bad as they are if you don't watch every bad thing happen in front of you' takes.#I'll be a lot more helpful if I'm alive and hopeful and semi-in the loop and helping when I can#than if I'm fully in the loop constantly and ready to take a long walk off of a short pier because of it.#energy is best spent reasonably rationed to important causes than spent calling hotlines.#if you need a break and to mute words like trump or elon or whatever then do it and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.#intentional ignorance and self-preservation are not the same thing and misery without action is not activism.#don't conflate them and be sure to take care of yourselves and your neighbors right now.#uspol
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while i do agree some of taylor swift's lyrics are. ???. sometimes i see things pointed out and criticized that would not get any reaction at all if they came from any other artist
#'these words don't rhyme :/'#girl pick up any book of poetry from any time period ever. there are like 10 different types of rhymes and slant rhyme is one of them#are you gonna whine and cry over lord byron rhyming again with plain? :(#or do you just like wasting your time criticizing taylor swift for things you would never come at any other artist for? :(#like there are 1389785567 things to criticize her over#pick something that actually matters rather than trying to get clout by posting a screenshot of some mediocre lyrics#(+ dare i say some of the ts lyrics i see getting made fun of would be PRAISED if they came from other artists#you guys are just sooo desperate to equate art quality with morality.)#hello grace here#taylor swift#forgot to tag for blacklist sorryyyy
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Dear Giles,
It's good to hear from you again, as always. But how many times will you ask me before you accept that I can't give you an answer?
Did that really happen? It's a matter of public record. I've told you that before. The marriage, the death, the murders. You could look up the newspaper articles, if you went to Buffalo or New York City. It may have even been in the Baltimore papers; I've never checked.
But the rest of it- the ghosts? Was that real? I don't know. My mother thought they were, but my mother thought a lot of things. As I've told you before, she was- changed, in many ways, by her ordeal.
She thought the ghosts were real. She also looked at me sometimes, out of the corner of her eye, like I might be one.
I wonder if you can fathom what it's like, to be the bomb your own mother fears might explode?
Sometimes it all seems so ridiculous. She was born for a different world, my mother, a glittering citadel where everything somehow meant so much more and yet seems ridiculous to think of now. Sometimes it seems remarkable that she didn't die sooner, that she could have ever coexisted with supermarkets and Alka-Seltzer commercials, with Sputnik and Levittown. Some part of that world lived on in her, I think, even as the whole thing foundered and fell on the killing-fields of France and the skies above Germany. And it taught her how to relate to me.
Her daughter. His daughter, too, and that was the problem.
She loved me; I know she did. She tried not to fear me. But when all your life is a Gothic novel, what are you think about the seed of a murdering Byronic villain? I half-suspect that, if analysts had been as popular then as now, she would have had me on the couch every week from the time I could talk. As it was, she handled me a little gingerly, a little too much concern in her eyes, and I never knew why until I was old enough to read her book. To learn what I had sprung from.
You ask me if the ghosts were real, every letter, for years now. I don't know how many more we have left, so I don't want to waste time repeating myself.
I don't know. But her ghosts were real, and they haunted her until she passed them along to me and left me to walk with them alone.
Best,
Enola [scribbled-out word] Cushing.
if I spoke about it (ficlet)
“…it humbles my heart, for you are everywhere.”
The buzz and snap of fluorescent lights rushed in to fill the silence that followed his words. Humming quietly, two washers in front of them whirled fabric into colorful cyclones.
Two washers, side by side. Two people, ditto, watched them.
The woman’s lips twisted slightly. She pushed a gray-brown curl back from her face.
“That sounds like my mother.”
“It’s Rumi,” the man hastily supplied. “A great poet. Just great. Nobody wrote like him, before or since. Such beautiful words…”
“My mother was a writer, too.” She didn’t look at him, seemingly transfixed by the spinning suds. “She used to say that love drove us all. I don’t think she meant that as a good thing.”
“It’s good for some of us.”
The woman pressed on as if he hadn’t spoken. “She was unlucky in love. My father died before she even knew she was expecting. They weren’t married six months. My aunt, too. And my grandparents had both passed away, so she had no-one in the world.”
At last, the man glanced at her. “Were they very happy, though? For those six months?”
She looked at the floor for a long moment. “They loved each other.”
“My friend…” He seemed to briefly lose his words. At last, shaking his head, “…she was very happy. Incandescently happy- and that’s a word I use advisedly, incandescent. She was practically glowing.”
“It sounds like her lover certainly was.”
“Bioluminescent, I believe they call it. There’s algae like that, too.”
Rain pattered against the enormous front window. Outside, a truck sped through a puddle, splashing a young man who shouted curses after it. One of the washers spun to a halt and buzzed loudly. The woman stepped forward, loafers quiet against the linoleum, and began pulling out damp clothes.
When she finally looked at him, a wry smile didn’t quite reach her blue eyes. “Well, she found happiness, as you say. Love didn’t steer her wrong.”
As she opened a dryer and dropped in one garment after another, the man shrugged. Scratched his head. Squinted at her behind his glasses.
“I don’t think I caught your name.”
“That’s alright; I didn’t give it.” She straightened up, extending a hand in his direction. “Enola. Enola Cushing.”
He shook her hand. “Giles Douglas. That’s a beautiful name, if you don’t mind my saying.”
Enola’s smile, this time, was genuine. It deepened the lines around her eyes and mouth, the ones that seemed to be waiting for it even when her face was blank. “Thank you. I’m named for a friend of my mother’s.”
Nothing more passed between them, in the half-hour Enola’s dryer took to bake the water from her clothes. But, once she’d loaded up a drawstring bag and slung it over her shoulder, she paused, turning back to him.
“Here.” She held out the book that had carried her through the last thirty minutes, reading silently in a wobbly-legged plastic chair. Its jade green cover was cracked and threadbare, but the crimson crest and title stood out vividly all the same. “My tale for yours.”
Giles took it, leafed through a few pages, and frowned at her. “What’s this?”
Something flickered behind her eyes, a flash of uncertainty. At last, she wetted her lips with her tongue and replied, “A story with love in it.”
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Idk why the fucken... Divide between "it was alternate universes" & "Paul is just trans" ideas for Petscop has to be torn into a cavern. Paul being trans DOES make sense, but requires you to ignore huge details that immediately make it not work. The alternate universes DO kind of make sense, but require you to extrapolate out a lot of info purposefully left unshown.
It's hard to describe what i want to say, here -- i do think Paul being trans makes sense, 'splains why he & Care "look eeriely similar," you could argue he's just thoroughly blocked out that part of his life enough to have forgotten Care entirely, etc. I like it, & i keep it as i also say "Yeah, it's that & the universes theory." It's not two switches that demand you can only flip on one of them -- you can have both. You can have neither. Do whatever
#em.txt#petscop#i think my big thing is just that. I don't think it was intended#& it is not my job as a queer person to sweep up crumbs from under the rug for proof that is not there#if a creator wished to create a trans character i would enjoy if they would say as such. but mr. petscop has not said as such#& while i love the theory. if i see one more mfer say 'this is OBVIOUSLY canon & if u say otherwise ur LYING'#or 'omg ppl gotta make up crazy theories before they believe a queer story is queer 🙄' i will bite you.#i understand you are used to no queer rep so you take these scraps of dust as truth.#but do not mock people that don't agree with the plate of nothing you're serving.#discourse#yeah i think I'm being petty enough to deserve this tag. i am sorry for being mean#paul transgender is inherently based but u r stretching as much as me#I don't think the universe theory is canon or intended. I don't think there is an answer to petscop#i think it just exists & doesn't matter what it was abf#the plot of it is chasing windmills & ending up nowhere forever & ever to waste your time & be miserable#why do we want a conclusive answer from that? the explanation of petscop is this:#idk wtf was going on here. but i sure am glad Paul got tf outta there
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I went to a concert two nights ago at the band had a row of LED strobe lights behind them facing the audience that were flashing constantly, which effectively made them impossible to see. Strobe lights at concerts don't usually effect me too much but I've never seen a set up like that before. I've never been to a concert and had a very bright light flashing directly into my eyes which - naturally - is impossible to block out (in my experience, usually, lights face the band for what I assumed were obvious reasons).
So, I started to feel nauseous and because those lights did not stop flashing for multiple songs I realised this was gonna be the whole concert. This band was going to flash a ridiculously bright light directly into the people trying to watch them for seemingly the whole time and no one one their team designing their set at any point realised that was a ridiculously bad idea. So, I did something I've never done before and fully walked out of a concert 15 minutes in, and now I have intense, one-sided beef with one of my favourite bands
#my friend and i had to walk back through security who were all looking at us because like who leaves a concert four songs in???#and i was looking out for her too because she gets migraines easily. she's usually fine for a concert but boy not this time#luckily it wasn't a complete waste of a night because the opener had like unbelievably impeccable vibes#but i'm still kinda pissed about it and i guess this might just be a me thing but genuinely you don't Need strobe lights at a concert#you can do cool and creative lighting without them and you Certainly don't need to point leds directly into your crowd like hello????#i've never felt sick like that at a concert it was ridiculous#anyways post i meant to make yesterday and then panicked because i didn't think it would matter#but also this is my blog so i'm making it now ashlfdj#jess rants about life
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why do peopelt alk about personality types like that
#What if we were all just people!!#cos all that mbti stuff And the extent of a someone's persoanlioty is impossible 2capture#based on a 20 question online test That offers no context/reasoning behind the situations and answers it gives you#it just assumes why you chose those things u did and gives you a generalization that might be wildly inaccurate !!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but just because something is a whole load of baloney doesnt mean it cant be fun ^_^ heehee#it's silly sometimes. 2 see people describing The result i got like.. Ooooh .. they're cold unfeeling Machines... they're Evil genuis..#and all coprrect Btw but not in the right way!!!!!!!!!!!#im an unfeeling machine the way im always on my grind and dont give a shit! And im an evilgenuis because im sexy and awesome basically#also thats all super minor stuff Personalitytypes shouldnt be 4 letters it should be about 4986534262357e^10 Letters#cos theres so much shit n overlap and basically its pointless To try n fit that into something as simple as that#Thtas like trying 2 put every color paint from every gradient from every hue and shade onto a single palette#simply impossible n you'll get paint all over yourself trying!!!! and the colors will all smudge together#and then you'll ahve to burn your clothes#but NOT if you have fun with it ^_^#you don't wear a tuxedo while you're painting You wear that silly shit of which itdoesn't matter if it gets paint on it!! a colorful apron#basically trying to put anything in2 a binary In Sincerity is a waste of TIME but it can be fun !!!#NAYWAYS THIS IS STUFF PPL HAVE ALREADY TALKED ABOU IM SURE i just got carried away#*rubs the back of my head *Well.. heh#fuck how do u#do that thing anime boys do#where they do that. that thing i just tried to roleplay as#i forgot how#anyways this is not me being a hater Do whatever the hell u want ^_^ all tha power to u + i love u
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Here is the threat you wanted: Actually kys
i could never send anon hate because in my mind it's the most embarrassing thing ever. you're gonna tell me to kys but not put your face on it? come on. tell your followers you're incapable of blocking someone. take your fuckin pants off and tell me to kill myself like a man. i'm waiting
#stoop asks#stoop.txt#i also have fubfree in my bio so i feel like you're really just wasting your time on someone who literally does not give a fuck#my friends know about it. my real family is my real family and i'm disgusted by the idea of irl incest.#my cat still loves me#it doesn't matter what you say#because at the end if the day#you are completely insignificant to me#telling me to kys won't prevent me from getting a job#i'll still eat and sleep normally knowing people on my screen hate me#we're both wasting our time engaging with this#if it bothers you that badly? block me.#i do care about anyone who is affected by this kind of content#wholeheartedly#but taking things out on one person for enjoying it won't help anything lol#if anything you're just subjecting yourself to the content further#and that's not something that i want#if it bothers you so badly#tl;dr curate your own experience i don't want you to get hurt if you're this dependent on the internet for your happiness
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#my boo is an aries#aries x libra was always gonna be intense but i don't want the end to be dramatic#in all honesty i dont want to go through the end of it at all but it has to come at some point#i dont think either of us are fulfilled in this relationship#but for some reason neither of us ever fuck off for long#before we come back to eachother again#its been three fucking years and its exactly like it was six months in#he was having a go at me because i said i didnt think we are in a position to have a baby yet and ima wait til im married to pip another out#apparently hes wasting his time if thats the case#like ok bye if youre not in it for the long run why would u even knowingly bring a child in to that situation#i stilll feel so guilty that i couldnt give my daughter a 2 parent upbringing#im still not sure it wss the right thing to do#for my own sanity i know i couldnt keep living like i was but for my bb she would have had everything she could ever have wanted#ive made our lives harder by having to be true to myself and i love being able to live authentically and not having to pretwnd to be someone#that im not#idk im stonef and lost my train of thought wnd cant read that tag back now so idk lifes just complicated isnt it#i feel like no matter what choices you make theyre always gonna hurt a little#one way or the other#its gonna hurt#aaa
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i have an absurdly high average rating for my reviews on goodreads but that's bc i don't use it to track what i've read or plan what i'm going to read; i just use it as an outlet to talk about a book i've just read if i really wanna share my thoughts on it. and more often than not i'd rather boost something i enjoyed in hopes that someone could find my positive review (especially when i read lesser-known works like for instance earlier in the year when i was reading john ford, or whenever i read something new from aphra behn). like when i don't really care for something i've read, i don't want to talk about it or share my thoughts on it in any way, usually. it's a very rare instance where i find something interesting and worth discussing and yet still ultimately i dislike it. so yeah i do have a 4.3/5 average rating what do you expect me to do about it?
#sometimes i do find it cathartic if i feel angry at how a book has wasted my time#like the worst thing a book can really ever do is bore me#my attention is how i spend my life. and i'm angry when i've willingly made myself bored with it#plus reading is not an easy labor for me. i find concentrating on text to be difficult#i've done a lot to overcome my resistance to it but it's not EASY to read. it never is#it's a mentally complex task. and much of the literature i willingly seek is challenging#but i don't seek it bc it's 'challenging' i seek it bc i'm interested in it#if it's disinteresting to me it doesn't matter if it was technically challenging or not#but if it was extremely challenging and hardly at all interesting. i sentence your book to death#cough: the wild irish girl by sydney owenson#the most difficult prose i had ever read in a nineteenth century novel and for what? a benevolent misogynist narrator?#oh that was infuriating how much time i spent hoping that book would come around to being good#tales from diana
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Sukuna assimilating to you
Synopsis: After discovering that Sukuna has been wide awake every time you nap together, you become embarrassed around him.
〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰
It is a scientific fact that when we are around people we love and trust, while in a healthy relationship, the release of oxytocin makes us sleepy.
Sukuna does not need sleep. He is the king of curses, able to continuously use his technique without ever becoming exhausted. When you first suggested that his chambers were "perfect for napping", he had simply raised a brow and considered what that could possibly mean.
You are like a weak creature to him. A kitten or perhaps a rabbit. And since you are never safer than when you are in his presence, you frequently find yourself growing sleepy when you are around him.
Throughout your strange relationship with the king, something that you loved most, is that there never needs to be words exchanged between the two of you. You were both contented to sit in silence. Frequently dozing off together, or so you thought.
You caught on eventually, that he was always awake before you. That his breathing pattern never really changed. That his face never relaxed more than it would if he had simply been sitting with his eyes closed.
One morning, after having stayed the night sleeping, you mumbled to him, "How is it you're always awake before I?"
He rose a brow at you, his upper set of eyes were looking into yours, the lower staring at how you lay across his bed sheets.
"I do not know your meaning." He grumbled out.
You huffed, rolling your eyes. "You never sleep in longer than I do, one day I would like to wake up before you."
"I never sleep at all." He stated before you had even really finished your sentace.
"What?" Your breathy outburst echoed slightly in his bed chamber, "What do you mean you don't sleep?"
"I do not require such things." He turned his torso now toward you, all four eyes studying your face, you had quickly sprung up, seemingly miffed.
"So... so all this time, you've just been... laying there while I've been sleeping?"
"I suppose I have, I do not see how this matters in the slightest." "It matters because I've been... It's just been a big waste of time for you. Sukuna you should have said something." You're upset, he can tell. Your face is scrunched up, your blood is pounding in your veins. Sukuna, however, does not know what to say in this situation.
In all honesty, he figured you knew and were just including him. Did you really think he was that weak? Or could you simply not conceive of a restless existence? Whatever the answer, he had no response for you, expecting a shrug of the shoulders- you he would discover, would not so easily let go of things.
And how humiliated you were. How many HOURS had you spent sleeping with him, within his grasp, in his space for him to have been conscious the whole time? You tried thinking back, attempting to recall a time you had requested a nap when he was uninterested.
He had never uttered a word about it. Never turned you down. Sukuna was not a kind king, he rarely ever did things that were not out of necessity, and he certainly did not do things he didn't like. That, at least, was consolation. You knew he had not been suffering for your sake, but even so, it was embarrassing.
Sukuna, still, could not understand your sheepishness about the subject. He did not care to explain that time works differently for him, that his mind is not so simple as yours and does not require entertainment all the time, that he could sit still for years and not be bothered, and frequently did before you came along.
He assumed you would get over it quickly. In your time as well as his. But days passed and he rarely saw you. You took your dinner with other people of the palace and spoke with him in the most cordial manner. One night, he informed Uraume that they needed to prepare a dish suited for you, something that would entice you, and serve it to him.
He figured this would bring you crawling back to him, tail between your legs. Yet, you did not budge.
Odd.
You were wallowing. You knew it. He did not care to spend time, what? Watching you sleep? Of course, he wouldn't, but it hurt your pride, to know you had been taking up such huge chunks of time lazing about in his presence. Well, not anymore. You slept in your chamber and your chamber alone. Gone were the days of blankets on the engawa, gone were the days of resting beneath the kotatsu while laying your head in his lap, gone were the days of sharing his bed.
If ever he wished for someone to share his bed, he had a whole cast of concubines, though you knew they were never of any use to him, they were mostly just house staff with a fancy title.
The evening he finally decided enough was enough, you were in the washhouse doing laundry.
Your back was arched over a bin full of soapy water. Your hands working tirelessly on some cloth.
"Have you not circumvented me enough?" He spoke in a low and slow tone.
"Lord Sukuna." You bowed, clothing in your hands, suds up your forearms, you bent your neck as to not look at him.
"You will reply now." He raised a brow, watching your hands quietly splash in the washbin.
"Was there something you would like me to assist to?" You questioned. Your head was full of possible reasons for what the king meant by seeking you out personally.
"Do you believe that by not sleeping in my presence I would come to believe you do not require rest?" He spoke in an unserious tone, eyes unblinking.
"No, my lord." Now what was he playing at? Of course that wasn't your intention.
"Then you hide yourself from me because you no longer have time for your king, I suppose." He mused.
Oh, for heaven's sake, "No, my lord."
"I see," He bent down to look you dead in the eyes, "So, you must no longer crave my occupancy of your space. You must not desire my hand running through your hair? I suppose you have tired of staying in my chambers?" His tone remained deep but his eyes were dead serious now.
"I-" You began, but suddenly you felt the urge to cough, swallowing you tried again, "I wished not to preoccupy so much of your time."
"And you made this decision without enlightening your king."
You said nothing.
"You will eat with me tonight, you shall stay in my chambers henceforth." He rose in record speed, turning without a second glance your way, maids were staring wide-eyed at the king of curses as he halted at the entrance of the washhouse. You could not see, but there was finality in his voice.
"I wish not to waste-" You were cut off by Sukunas voice, his broad back still facing you.
"Your wishes do not interest me now, so it seems. It is my wish for you to spend your time with me." His steps resounded through the compound, your face slack.
The maids smirked, and with shocked faces, side-eyed one another. A couple entered the washhouse giving you big open-mouthed smiles, and patted your shoulder as they passed.
That night Uraume made something you would go on to beg them to make for years to come. And when Sukuna pulled you prone from your seated position on his bed, he took a firm fingertip and stroked the space between your eyes, one of his enormous hands encircling your skull and massaging your temples with his thumb and ring fingers. He traced the bridge of your nose to your forehead, the way you would stroke a cat.
Perhaps he thought this would induce drowsiness but all it did was make you feel all floaty inside at his silliness.
And for the first time since that night, you slept alongside him. Within his embrace, and when you awoke, Sukuna's eyes were closed.
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Being an apprentice in your 20s and learning new skills is all fun and interesting. I just don't wanna be treated like a child and I feel like the system and the people still act like I am.
#got introduced to my current supercisor today and he takes regulations so very seriously#it doesn't matter to him that they were made for 15 year olds#i feel like I'm being overly criticised and NOTHING HAPPENED#this is a serious topic and even when talking to my UNION the only thing they tell me is their past achievements#they're an apprentice union so you see the pattern there right#the media is like#nooo we need more people who know things from expierence#who have learned a profession#and not academics#but most people starting in such professions are literal children that don't care and have had their parents sign them up#but when you enter such programs as an adult becuse you feel lost in the academics world#the system isn't made for you#and you struggle with your mental health over it and constantly regret your decisions because you've wasted your prior achievements#and years of school to start again with 15 year olds#you get paid the same#you are treated like a child for most of the time#you have to sit through communal punishments like it's primary school#but the media#OH THE MEDIA#they scream and cry about how nobody cares for apprenticeships
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ooooooo i am feeling particularly riled up about marginalized community infighting today
#i just saw a string of posts addressing people trying to argue over which kinds of trans women are 'allowed' to experience misogyny#and that somehow trans women are 'privileged' bc they have more media rep (despite the vast majority of it being awful and stereotypical)#i just. you understand that trying to find bounds for these labels unhelpful right. like you know that it's literally detrimental right.#do you people understand that trying to prescribe who is 'allowed' to feel oppressed is like. just plain evil. it helps nobody in any way.#trans women experience extreme societal oppression regardless of their ability to pass. trans men might experience different forms of it#but the fact of the matter is that all trans people are looked down upon by a very large portion of society. they ALL experience oppression#and they ALL need as much support as possible within their community and without. you do not get to decide how another person feels hurt.#if you have a problem with how someone ELSE names THEIR OWN PAIN. you need to look within yourself for why that is#a more personally relevant example is the whole 'people faking autism/did/whatever are taking away resources from those who really need it'#1. if the person is indeed 'faking' a particular disorder they still need help. healthy and secure people don't aspire to fake disorders.#2. it is not up to you to decide whether someone else is 'deserving' of help. these things vary so much and look foreign to you. that's ok.#3. why tf are we blaming people for 'stealing resources from those who need it' when the clear and obvious problem is#WHY ARE THERE NOT ENOUGH RESOURCES TO HELP EVERYONE WHO NEEDS IT. Why do people feel like they have to fake a serious disorder to get help.#and this idiotic 'well until that happens they need to stop' bullshit is so fucking distractive. You're wasting your time trying to decide#who needs help and who doesn't when you could be devoting it to volunteering and doing research and putting pressure on the system. come on#if you really feel as passionate about the matter as you claim to then you need to get off your fucking high horse and help fix things.#GOD DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN it just fires me up. im not even mad im just like. Please fucking look outside the lens of 'socially acceptable' and#understand that if push came to shove you would be kicked to the dirt by the system too. no one gets anywhere by putting everyone in boxes#anyway.
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