#don't want to think about how my desperation to be loved also makes me feel like a greedy asshole when so many have less
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miange1 · 23 hours ago
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donnie darko slightly pushing male reader into having their first time together?!? manipulating him until he craves it just as bad as him now
DONNIE DARKO
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male reader, bottom reader, reader isn't a virgin he just hasn't had peen up his booty, manipulation, say gex, sum like that, nervousness, donnie doesn't know what he's doing either, anal sex, rough but soft, linkin park is so yummy, donnie is addicted to sex, persuading with actions rather than words, donnie does NOT know how to fuck but figures it out later
he was nervous, fidgeting the whole day and glancing at you much more often. he felt some sort of weight on his shoulders, he just needed to get it off and if he never told you what was the matter it would never happen would it?
"donnie." you looked over at him, your finger pressing at the TV remote to turn it down. "hm." he looked over at you, eyes roaming over your body by instinct. "don't 'hm' me. you've been creeping the shit outta me all day? you alright?"
he opened his mouth to say yes, but then closed it up again, changing his mind. he got closer to you, bed dipping in the area near you and his hand resting on your leg.
"you ever..fuck before?" you giggled a bit, mostly confused but amused as well. "yeah? of course ive–" he cut you off, "no, i mean." he moved himself closer towards you,
"have you been fucked before, like by another guy?" your heart started to speed up, your body tensing and it felt like it was getting hotter.
"..no?" donnies hands went to your legs, moving towards your thighs and squeezing them a bit. "do you want to?" he was expecting a yes, but he frowned seeing your head shake and your legs move towards your chest.
"donnie," your eyes looked like they were pitying him, looking at him as if he was in the wrong. but he wasn't? "why? why don't you want to— we're together so we have to!" his mind worked differently, and you knew that. he always wanted to get to the 'good stuff', and as messed up as it sounded he still loved you.
"please, i promise.." he went close to you again, hands pulling your ankles and spreading your legs. "it'll feel really good," he's never fucked another guy before, and most likely has never had sex before but he just needed to persuade you somehow.
"donnie, no. my answer is no." your words cut off with your own giggle as he kissed at your face multiple times, making you tell him that it tickled a bit.
then his lips would go lower, slowing his pace down as he kissed at your neck and making them more open mouthed to leave a mark.
"hey..hey, donnie—" you squirmed, hands to his chest to push him away but you just ended up gripping his shirt and wanting more "hm." his fingers went up your shirt, grazing your nipples having your body arch into his touch and whimper into his ear.
"stop..donnie," his pointer and middle finger squeezed the bud, your legs tightened around his hips as he did so. "can't..i can't.." he sounded just as desperate as you, moving his hands back down to your shirt to take it off and toss it some other place.
he let his body get on top of you more, your body sliding down all the way underneath him. he looked at you for a moment, taking it all in. this was really happening
his pace was slow at first, it hurt to him too because he didn't really know he had to use some sort of lubrication. as he had gotten used to it, he completely forgot to think about you.
he was thinking about you, but also wasn't.
"donnie..donnie— donnie!" he could hear you calling out his name, saw your fingers grip at the sheets for dear life as if you were gonna fall off the bed even though he had you by your waist.
"slow...down, oh god it hurts.." but it felt so good, the tears that went down your cheeks were tears of pleasure and your hole would twitch and clench around him and each time he felt it he just couldn't help but go faster and harder.
the headboard hit against the wall, and you prayed that no one was home to hear this because nothing was silent especially you. "feels so good..do you feel good? tell me it feels good." your head nodded, burrying yourself into the pillow cover.
"so good..donnie, don't stop." your words were becoming slurred, turning into mindless jumbles and moans. for a guy who's probably never even fucked a girl, shit he was real good.
it had you wondering how many times he must have thought of what he wanted to do to you.
"don't stop?" your pupils moved to the side, giving donnie a look. "okay.." he flipped you over back onto your back, wiping his forehead from the sweat that dripped.
"i won't stop, i promise." oh, of course he'd take that shit literally.
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tetsunabouquet · 23 hours ago
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Why Isha is the Most Misunderstood Character from Arcane S2: My Headcanons
A/N: After doing Sevika, I really just wanted to write this in defense of my little sweetheart, because the hate train against her is just dumb and occasionally downright ableist in how some people talk about her being mute. As a HF autistic woman, that shit just disgusts me so here I go!
-First of all, let's adress the hate towards Isha for 'magically fixing' Jinx. It's far less magical then you think. Ever heard of inner child work? Jinx might not have been working the classic techniques, as Isha acted as a proxy for Powder instead. That scene of Jinx just drifting off mentally as she does Isha's hair, talking about how she didn't do that with Vi? It very much gives off the vibe that Jinx would have liked to do the occasional girly things wih Vi as a child and that her inner Powder finally feels heard in that moment. They had been together for months at that point, so I doubt that was the sole moment Isha allowed Jinx to work through her problems by Isha being a proxy for her past self. -Secondly, let me adress the common criticism that she has no goal or whatsoever and is just there to idolize Jinx. You should all take some media literacy classes. She's very clearly set up as a mirror to a young Powder AND Vi, so why can't you see the obvious parallels?! Jinx has become like Vander, a symbol for the undercity and their fight against oppression but she doesn't wants to fight anymore. Isha isn't pushing Jinx into a hero role because she's a fangirl. But because she HAS a goal. Like Powder and Vi, she genuinely wants Zaun to be liberated and is trying to encourage Jinx to get back in the game just like Vi tried to do with Vander! Whilst the circumstances leading up to that were different, Isha even gets imprisoned for trying to make a stand for the undercity just like Vi did. I don't want to be hateful like you guys but seriously, do you Isha haters really need dialogue THAT badly to point out the obvious? -Isha's lack of voice also refers to her lack of family. Whilst she could be mute because of disability, there is also the possibility of her never having learnt how to properly speak as an orphan, as well as the possibility she became mute through trauma. As a mirror, it's highly likely Isha's parents were also brutally murdered. With 2 of the 3 explanations pointing into the direction of her being mute due to being an orphan, it's statistically likelier for this to be the actual reason. -Which adds an additional layer of tragedy to her character. Because going mute through trauma as well as being mute due to being a 'feral' child, can be dealt with! People tend to get over traumatic mutism and whilst feral children missed some important milestones, Isha could still be taught to speak basic sentences with the right help. This seems to be highlighted with how Isha learns to stand up for herself and be more assertive. She's crawling out of her shell and just when you could catch a glimmer of who she could become, she dies. With Sevika now being in charge as part of the Council, the aid Isha would need to regain her speech are now available to the children of Zaun. It's heartbreaking to think about the future Isha could have had if she had just survived the attack on Viktor's camp. -With how desperate Isha was to have a family- just look at how quickly she attached to Jinx and jumped at the chance to also be with Vander and Vi, it's clear the girl was dreaming of a home. Which brings me to her intentions to her sacrificing herself. If she was that desperate and traumatized, then it very likely could be that Isha rather wants to die then lose her family all over again. The fact her song ends with according to translations, 'for this is good enough for me', seems to imply that these months of having a family was what she dreamt of for so long and she can go in peace thanks to Jinx showing her love in the cruel world of the undercity.
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starzify · 21 hours ago
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hiii i love ur work sm! can u write a negan fic?
thank u baby !! so i'm only on s3 but he's too fine…🤷‍♀️
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beg me ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
pairing negan smith x fem!reader
warnings smut | blowjob.
MASTERLIST
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Over the past few months, you had spent almost a concerning amount of time talking to Negan in his cell. It started with taking him the odd meal, alternating your duty with other people. But over time you regrettably developed a soft spot for him, and dedicated yourself to finding the human underneath his tough exterior. You didn't let him know that though, remaining cold on the outside. That being said, you had pulled some strings for him, he now is allowed daily supervised showers, toothpaste and the occasionally beard and hair trim. All the basic hygiene stuff.
Though the truth is, you are lonely. Rick and Maggie were your closest friends and now they're both gone, so often times, you find Negan being the only person to console in. You've never been much of a social butterfly anyway.
It's midday and you're sat watching Negan finish his lunch. 
"All gone, ma'am," he says, popping the final bite in his mouth.
You take the plate from him and sit on your seat. He picks up the tennis ball that he has taken a liking to and bounces it off the wall, catching it, and repeating.
"So, what's the recent gossip?" He smirks. "Is anybody getting boned?”
"Negan," you scold, eyebrows furrowing. "That's none of your business. None of our business."
"Come on…” he continues, blatantly ignoring your remarks, continuing to bounce the ball, a huge mischievous grin spreading across his face.
You shake your head.
"No?" He asks curiously.
“Nope. Nobody’s getting boned, if you’re curious.”
"Fuck, that could’ve been the most interesting thing to happen." He scoffs.
"That's sad," you laugh, raising your eyebrows at him. "So depraved that you're living through people’s sex lives?”
You step closer to the bars, handing Negan his ball, but when he goes to grab it you quickly move your hand away, teasing him.
"You gonna give me my ball, sweetheart?" He smiles patronisingly.
You hold the ball, hovering it ever so slightly out of his reach. "Don't call me sweetheart."
"What would you prefer?" He taunts. "Sweet cheeks? Sugar plum?"
"You've got an awful lot of nerve talking to the only person who comes to see you like that." You warn, pointing your other finger at his face. "Say the wrong thing and I'm gone."
"But you always come back," he replies, cocking his head to the side smugly. "Why is that?"
"You don't get to ask questions." You snap.
"Oh, I like when you get fired up, darling." He smirks.
"I bet you fucking do." You retort impatiently.
"I do." He grins.
You bring your face closer to his and lower your voice, tired of Negan thinking he has you wrapped around his finger. "You also like this top?" You motion to the purple tank top you're currently wearing. "'Cause I've caught you looking at my tits at least ten times in the past five minutes." Your words clearly shock him. "You gonna jerk off to this little interaction later? That’s how fucking desperate you are?" You don't know what has come over you, you just want to finally have the upper hand.
"I'm a man." He smiles cockily, not embarrassed like you hoped he might have been. "I have needs."
He looks you up and down, his gaze burning into your skin, making you feel naked. "And I'd be lying if I said you weren't smoking hot."
You stroke your finger along his jawline seductively. "You thought about me before?" You ask. "While touching yourself?"
"Fuck yeah." He mutters, his eyes transfixed on your lips.
"Tell me what you think about." You demand.
"Baby, I-" but you interrupt him.
"Tell me." You snap, then moving your lips to trace his jawline and "Tell me and I'll suck your cock." He elicits a small groan and you grab his face in your hand, turning his head to face you. "And don't call me baby."
"Fuck, I- uhh..." He says, his voice gravelly. "I think about taking you in every fucking position, making you scream my name. Even fucking you out there," he points out of the barred window, "bending you over for everyone to see. So they can see how good I fuck you."
You look at him through heavy lidded eyes and in this moment you have never been so attracted to someone.
"See that wasn't too hard, was it?" You smirk, your lips lightly brushing his, just enough to give him a brief taste of what he wants.
"God, you're so fucking hot," he mutters.
"What do you want?" You ask him smugly.
"You know what I want." He groans impatiently. Your hands creeps to his crotch and palms him softly through his pants, forcing a small moan from his lips.
"I want to hear you say it." You whisper. "Beg me."
"Fuck, please," he groans. "Suck my cock. Please."
"That's it." You slowly lower yourself onto your knees and unzip his pants through the bars of the cell. You release him from his boxers and see that he is already rock solid, and he is big. Almost intimidatingly big. Teasingly, you trace your tongue around his tip, tasting the pre-cum on his cock. His hips buck at the small contact, not used to anything but his hand for so long. He'd been in this cell for years. Soon enough, you take his cock fully into your mouth and you can't help but get butterflies and the deep, gutteral moan he involuntarily let's out as you do so.
Through the bars he grabs your hair, guiding your head up and down his length. The way he pulls on your hair sends tingles down your spine. His hips thrust and you stop your movements as he basically just fucks your mouth, doing all the work himself.
"Fuck," he hisses, and you can tell he is dangerously close. Concocting a plan in your head, you pull away and he stares at you, eyes wide, looking disheveled.
"No, don't stop, I'm about to-"
"I know," you whisper. "Trust me." 
He nods, frustrated, but his eyes light up as he notices you start to lift your top up. You lift it off over your head and swiftly unhook your bra, leaving you topless and bare in front of him. He reaches his hands out wordlessly and you step closer to him, kissing him passionately while his hands squeeze and play with your breasts.
Breaking off the kiss, you grin. "You want me to finish what I started?" You don't wait for his answer because his eyes tell you enough, so you drop to your knees yet again, taking your tongue from the base to the tip of his cock, painstakingly slow.
You look up at him before continuing. "I want you to cum on my tits, okay?" He groans at your words. "Think you can do that?"
Without warning, you engulf him fully in your mouth again and he grabs your chin with one hand and wraps your hair around the other, fucking your face mercilessly, picking the pace up in no time. Tears run down your face but you love it.
It doesn't take long for him to get to the point he was previously at because he hurriedly removes himself from your mouth. You brace yourself as he gives himself a mere single stroke, then his release spills onto your chest. He elicits the dirtiest, most primal sounding moans as he does so and it turns you on beyond belief. You can see him struggling to keep his eyes open, not wanting to miss the view.
"Fuck," he mumbles as you run your finger along your chest, gathering some of his cum and licking it off, sucking it off seductively. "Jesus Christ, you're unbelievable."
You pick the tennis ball up, which got dropped at some point, and place it on the chair, along with your black lacy bra, out of Negan's reach. Without another word, you exit the room, leaving Negan breathless, disheveled and hungry for more, reeling from what just happened, sat staring at the ball and the bra that you left to taunt him.
You pick the tennis ball up, which got dropped at some point, and place it on the chair, along with your black lacy bra, out of Negan's reach. Without another word, you exit the room, leaving Negan breathless, disheveled and hungry for more, reeling from what just happened, sat staring at the ball and the bra that you left to taunt him.
"I'm gonna fuck you next time," you hear him yell as you close the door behind him, eager to have the last word, as always.
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tags: @inspiredangel @bluemerakis @ultravi0lence14 @floralscented @whisperingdaze @frosttbitessam @bluestrd @urloveada
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riptides-n-roses · 1 day ago
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Hiii! First I want to say I love your posts and one of the best! Second I Would like to request a Roman X Reader when he lost at WrestleMania 40 and how he would be like with reader backstage? If not it is fine!
GGRRAAAHHH! OFC OFC! I CRIED SO HARD THAT NIGHT OMFG! THIS ONE SHALL BE FLUFF FOR ONCE! ♡
changes - roman reigns
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⛧ pair: roman reigns x reader
⛧ tags: @88changemymind @cyberdejos2 @reigns-prophecy [huge thank you to anon]
⛧ no warnings/smut this time. Just an emotional roman after an incredible match and reign.
⛧ writers block is the absolute worst omg. I'll go ahead and be honest, sometimes smut gets a little too hard to write and I don't really want this blog to just be smut. This will be my first fluff since most of my drafts are smut related. Also again this one is short but I hope it's a fun little read.
⛧ after an incredible title reign, things will be different but right now all roman can ever need right now is you.
⛧ word count: 588
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Wrestlemania.
The biggest night in WWE. All superstars have an amazing opportunity to make a change or write history for the books.
This was also a night for some big title cards. One of which was your partner, Roman Reigns. He is the Trible Chief, The Head of The Table. The main event was when he takes on Cody Rhodes, for the Undisputed WWE Universal Championship.
It was a match everyone was talking about that sparked a lot of debate on TV and social media. Tonight's main event was going to be talked about all year regardless of the outcome.
You held Roman tight in your arms, giving him a big hug before his match.
"You're going to do great out there" you started, "it'll be a night to remember."
"I know it will." Roman replied, gently stroking your hair. "I made a lot of history with this title"
After a warm embrace for what seemed like forever, you let him go, giving him a kiss on the cheek as a signal for good luck.
.•°☆.⋆。⋆☆•˚。⋆。˚•☆˚。⋆.☆•°.⋆
1...
2...
3...
Cody had finished the story. The new champion held the newly claimed title high as the audience roared.
"Here is your winner...and the NEW Undisputed WWE Universal Champion...The American Nightmare: Cody Rhodes!"
You watched the screen in the guerilla with tears in your eyes. This was one of the most beautiful moments in WWE storytelling. A lot of stories have been written and not just for Cody but for everyone involved.
You couldn't imagine how Roman feels in this moment. He's successfully held the title for an incredible reign of 1,316 days. 3 years. That was already impressive on its own status.
After the pay per view went off air, Roman was desperately looking for you.
"Y/N!" You heard him call out for you. You immediately went to go look for him, needing to give him the most well deserved love he needed.
When Roman saw you, he immediately rushed into your arms, holding you tight.
"Hey baby...I saw" you started, "Are you okay?"
It took Roman a bit to respond, knowing the entire match was a lot to take in.
"Tonight was a moment..." His tone was soft "I've made a name for myself, including my in ring career..."
You listened to him, allowing him to state how he felt in this moment.
"What I'm trying to say is...I'm happy. Not because of my reign but because of what it meant for wrestling. For this company..."
You felt him shiver, you think he was caught up in his feelings.
"I love you so much, y/n... you truly have helped me with everything for the 3 years I've held that championship."
Roman looked into your eyes, small tears forming in his eyes. You smiled and gave him a soft kiss on his lips.
"I love you too, Roman. I'm happy I can be there for you..."
He smiled when he heard how you loved him.
"I know everything will change now...but you're still you, Roman. You've made an impact for WWE. You should be proud of yourself."
"Don't worry I am" He laughed, "Would you...like to get something to eat before we make it to our hotel room?"
You smiled, giving him another kiss "Sure. I think that'll make you feel better. We can get food and laugh about good times."
"Sounds like a plan"
The two of you kissed one more time before going to your dressing room, holding hands on the way there.
"I love you, y/n."
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rubenesque-as-fuck · 1 month ago
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I just want it to be tomorrow after work so I can get unfathomably high on edibles and turn off my brain for at least a few days
#i want to be 'can barely form a sentence' high#i want to be so high that I can't think or feel for a while#don't want to think about being alone for another fucking holiday#don't want to think about being alone for the rest of my life#don't want to think about how scared i am of what the next 4 years will bring#don't want to think about all of the people hurting now#don't want to think about how I'm a weak baby for whining about my own problems#don't want to think about no matter how much dumb shit and art supplies i buy I'm still alone#don't want to think about the only person who loved me unconditionally being dead#don't want to think about how scared i am of velma getting sick or hurt because then i won't have anyone#don't want to think about all the things I've done that could bite me in the ass#don't want to think about the horrific inequality here and everywhere and I'm here just one person like an ant on a sand dune#don't want to think about how my desperation to be loved also makes me feel like a greedy asshole when so many have less#don't want to think about how much i want to punch some of my coworkers#don't want to think about the friendly obvious idiot who sent me a tape full of love songs but clearly has no romantic love for me#don't want to think about how hard it is to even find a game to distract myself with#don't want to think about how many of my plants are dead/dying and what a useless gardener i am#don't want to think about my car and how i worry about when it's eventually going to break down#don't want to think about the cysts on my scalp that i need to cut out myself because I can't afford to have it done professionally#don't want to think about how it's probably just a stupid kids daydream that I'm trying to save up for a house#don't want to THINK or FEEL or NEED or WANT i just want to be semi-comatose stoned because it feels like nobody would notice if i were dead#depression#vent
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vaguely-concerned · 4 months ago
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just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2
#'you don't know my mother' haunting me through the years#dragon age#dragon age 2#hawke#On second thought let's not go to Kirkwall; it is a silly place#there are of course as many ways to do/read that relationship as there are players to interact with it haha and all valid!#but my personal version of handers is sooo fucked up and bad times for everyone involved and I love it haha.#this is a relationship neither of them should have been in and that made everything worse and everyone unhappy in the end#locked tomb levels of the horrors of love. i ship it but in the way that I want to make it sadder and more gutwrenching each time#to be clear this is a very mutual two-way kind of fucked up but I think varric in his loyalty and love would downplay hawke's side of it#for huge swathes of their relationship anders is not in a mental place to be a good partner and the emotional blackmail is Not Okay#(but it's just like how mother used to make it! hawke's soul cries sadly as it reaches for it hungrily)#which is in some ways fair enough no one could accuse him of not warning you ahead of time fjskda#but hawke is messy about it in a way only available to a covert people pleaser who has never had a millisecond of therapy#with some added stuff that my hawke is always acespec in some form and when he gets together with anders...#is the sex something he doesn't particularly care to have or not have but it 'makes anders happy'/he longs to feel wanted *and* needed#and also a way he gets out of ever being *actually* vulnerable (which I think he'd had to be with varric for example if he Went There )#'you want the hawke who's in your head so badly and I kind of wish I were that hawke too. so let's be collaborateurs with that fantasy'#(and then maybe if I do it right every time you'll finally be happy hawke says in his heart looking at this leandra-anders phantom form)#(and echoing stuff in varric's relationship to hawke but I think the important distinction there is that varric -- is a craftsman haha#he KNOWS when he's lying/making up a story he KNOWS the difference between what is and what he wishes the world was#(I think there's some deep longing there to not know; for it to blend together or have the power to change things. but he always knows)#which ironically leaves him in a better position to actually see and understand hawke the person#even as he is creating hawke the literary figure. almost to protect him in some ways? god da2 is so full of STUFF!!! I adore it)#and of course anders gets so disillusioned with hawke's inertia and lack of action (you all but married this man anders!#you should know this about him he's already carrying the whole family and city on his shoulders if you add a gram more he'll collapse!)#and hawke feels so desperately hurt that the promise anders seemed to make that he'd be enough -- that he could fix things for him --#('I'm the one bright light in kirkwall and that apparently doesn't count for shit so I'm just slowly turning to ash for you')#turned out to be untrue. anyway. sad now. imagine them meeting like twenty years on what the fuck could you even say to each other then#(I can't imagine Hawke ever physically hurting anyone he loves so he just tells Anders to leave at the end of DA2. they COULD meet again
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averlym · 1 year ago
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whshdfhfjf.,,,
#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur#look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly#because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to#ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts#anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately#a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle#lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix#fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material#mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent#a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort#and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one#here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try#like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still#they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1#of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but#thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where#you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the#competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even#even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's#'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h#her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll#eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's#it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe#adamandi
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iniziare · 6 months ago
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Aesthetically, we're going in order. Guizhong was the first within the HYV fandom, and Kafka was the second. I am also desperate to get that woman's voice to settle, which it still hasn't, so this'll kick me in gear for that. I think I also owe the most from her. So let's start the Kafka era, especially as the update will draw me back into HSR for a short bit.
And in honor of her, I need Abel Korzeniowski to stop giving me perfect instrumentals for her.
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bittersweetresilience · 1 year ago
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aspec characters on my character list: 73/96 arospec characters on my character list: 46/96 aroaspec characters on my character list if i wasn't repressed about it: 96/96
#🌃#the last one is a joke but also it's not i do think i interact with characters and their relationships in a fundamentally aroace way#HOWEVER#i hate headcanoning characters to be different than they are stated to be in canon i think it's incompatible and personally disrespectful#but with gender and aroace headcanons it's different because#the good thing is aroace spectrums cover such a broad range of experiences that it can be reconciled with just about any relationship type#aro people can date ace people can have sex aro people can have unrequited feelings#sometimes being aroace is that fundamental feeling of isolation and not quite understanding how#other people do it like they're getting love right and you don't know what it is or how to get there#sometimes being aroace is not being interested in all of that sometimes it's desperately wanting it and then realizing#what you want isn't exactly the same as what other people do#sometimes it's nonhuman coding sometimes it's neurodivergence coding sometimes it's a drive for knowledge or truth in place of Romance™#sometimes it's connection a bit to the left sometimes it's disconnection sometimes it's hunger sometimes it's looking through a window#reaching or wanting to reach or feeling like you should be wanting and not sure how to deal with the fact that you don't#for me always it's lonely#but it doesn't have to be#i can make these characters happy... like sisyphus and camus...#i don't know what i'm even going on about anymore 😂#THE POINT IS#if you are my favorite character you cannot escape the aroaceification 😘 love you queerplatonically
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dbphantom · 8 months ago
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you know if you guys voted for stretch armstrong i probably would have shut up a lot sooner tonight
#so really this is all your fault /lh /j#i love thinking about h2o tho so im happy#VERY FUCKING TIRED THO WISH I COULD SLEEP#i think my brain is kicking into overdrive after being filled with cotton the past 3 days which. hey im glad ur back bud#CAN YOU SHUT UP NOW I NEED REST#i was just thinking because im probably not posting that essay i will summarize here (i saw#that privating it made it lose like 4 recently edited paragraphs and i don't want to type all that out again my memory isn't good enough)#it just boiled down to the pods basically making a self fulfilling prophecy by orphaning their sons and making them increasingly#desperate for connections to other people like them which is why i think erik behaves the way he does esp when ondina is around#like i am not excusing his actions in the slightest dont get me wrong here he really fucked up BUT#his last conversation with ondina before he goes to the chamber kind of sold that idea to me#how he scoffs at her saying rita says it's dangerous because she's 'old school' and of COURSE old school mermaids think all mermen are evil#and then starts adding on how he wants to do this for HER and get her home back for her by controlling it#like a bit of an add-on at the end to try and convince her#i think what he really wants is to be hailed as a hero. you know. validation and acceptance from the ppl who originally abandoned him#the OGs who made him feel like an outsider. the ppl who ripped everything away from him just bc of the way he was born (which is prob why#when he's trying to convince zac to help him he keeps bringing up their ancestors bc that's what unifies them)#i don't think he's an evil dude per se i think he thought stealing the trident stone from rita's grotto would be small peanuts in the past#once he finally got the pod to come home bc he genuinely (mistakenly) believed he COULD control the power of the chamber#i also think that's why the camera keeps focusing on his face when he's watching the others panic over#zac's sacrifice and i think he is feeling jealousy bc they are paying attention to him and not Erik#like that's not the face of someone who deeply regrets what they just did. my guy is just sitting there like 'that should be me rn'#i think that is why he also sounds so desperate to make things right with ondina afterwards. iirc he's just like 'wait no we can start ove#RIGHT?' and she's like 'uhhhh... no??????' (valid). my dude is lonely as fuck and he finally found a group of ppl like him and he messed up#big time just trying to get their attention and affection bc he couldn't just be normal abt it he had to go big or go home#like i kind of feel bad for him in a way#but i feel bad for everyone#i felt bad for denman the other day! that's how bad this is getting!!#i mean come on imagine making the scientific discovery of a LIFETIME only for all that shit to happen in a row#especially after you get your comeback. they just go right back to fucking you over again
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shidoukanae · 8 months ago
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I would like to make an addendum to this piece with the new chapter out and say that I was wrong about Phillip, he's great, 10/10 he went from being a giant red flag of a character to being genuinely relatable and man do i feel bad about side-eyeing him for that line he said last chapter
Also this chapter finally wrapped up another plot thread I was waiting for it to return to and waaaaaah seeing someone else's POV on Helene is so nice (and we finally got another flashback of OG Helene for like,, the first time in literally forever). Helene being called out as a lonely person who hides her kind feelings behind a cold expression...man suddenly my fondness for Helene is increasing thousandfold
Like literally how the fuck does this manga keep making Helene better and better there's literally nothing disappointing about her character and im STILL shook about it
#The Mighty Extra#no fully colored art today gotta process my feelings over the Helene bits in today's chapter LMAO#Helene continuously getting the best treatment in this story utterly shocks me as someone who is too used to seeing female characters in-#shounen-esque ending up as wasted potential fgkjggfkj#Helene is literally so perfect as a character i love her i love her i love her I LOVE HER I LOVE-#i don't draw Helene enough to show it outwardly but rest assured she occupies 99% of my current brain capacity 24/7#also the way I went from going “oh god why are you like this” to Phillip to “ohhh OHHHH okay no i get it you're very baby” is very funny#that last line makes complete sense for Phillip and it's so cool to see him show off a lot of character development in one go#for a character who is relatively minor i love how the creator made him really understandable and sympathetic like damn#i don't usually care for second lead male LIs but Phillip is surprisingly a strong and endearing character#so much so i think he's now going to forever be embedded in my mind as what a well written character looks like#me before 77: ehhh im not sure if im as excited for this chapter as the next few bc it's probs just gonna end up as#Phillip just being an ass and Fian being jealous about him#this fucking manga every goddamn time i doubt it: hey so want to learn more about Helene and see Phillip get massive character development-#that shows how mature he's gotten but also go back to several plot threads and mysteries and showcase how Lyla is severely in danger and th#war that Fian is starting is something that legitimately needs to happen to keep her safe and also here's a OG Helene flashback that-#you totally haven't been craving for promising to return to why Lyla shipped Helene/Fian in the first place and why she feels guilty about-#taking Fian from Helene (and also suggests Helene deeply loved Fian in the OG timeline which is one big awwwwWWWW and now it kind of-#sucks that Lyla DID rip Fian away from Helene but hey at least Helene has Paris now instead (oh the irony))#fun fact i actually kind of do ship Fian/Helene#at least the OG versions of them#idk seeing how attached Fian is to Lyla and imagining him doing the same to OG Helene is really fucking cute#i am SO FUCKING DESPERATE for the original story behind TME's plot to exist you have no fucking idea#and 78 looks promising as to revealing how OG Helene (/Lyla) reacted to OG Fian's death so like#im begging for next week's chapter already i NEED to get a continuation to that death scene#(also calling it now but if Lyla's real name is actually Helene im going to fucking scream)#(for more reasons than one oh my god)
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moonmoonthecrabking · 1 year ago
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how did i realise i was bi both so quickly and so slowly
#like#on the one hand#the moment i realised i was attracted to women (both times) i went: oh. bisexual. cool. fuck. now i'm oppressed.#and i wasn't like 'but i like boys and girls what could this possibly mean??' it was more. oh yeah no okay this logically has to be bisexua#and there was like wondering if there was split attraction in that (i don't think there is for me) but i was like. either way. there's#some non-platonic attraction for more than one gender#(also why i like bisexual bc i am bisexual and biromantic and i like saying that after coming to that conclusion#also i find it rolls off the tongue better than bi)#but GIRL#why did you get so excited to get this girl's phone number#better: why were you so desperate to get this girl's phone number#i know you were excluded and wanted to make friends but why these girls specifically#why did they make you feel like that#also the kiss dreams#like you have a dream where you make out with your friend in a dark closet. cool. subtle.#i think google said 'it could?? just be a friendship thing' so i ran with that but uh. i had a crush on her through my whole senior year#it was not just a friend thing#especially not given how much i liked it#also. why the dreaming about kissing an imaginary girl? which you also enjoyed? like. babe make it make sense#'yes i love watching glee s5 toxic and ikag but For The Outfits' are you kidding me#to be fair. never took an am i gay test. because i knew that was a common queer experience and I Was Not Queer#how come i knew that at such a young age?#there were. so many signs.
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stoopidpigeonxx · 3 months ago
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⋆˚。⋆୨✧୧˚ 𝑶 𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏, 𝑴𝒚 𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏. ˚୨✧୧⋆。˚⋆
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CAPTAIN CURLY SMUT HEADCANNONS !! NSFW under the cut. MDNI.
(These are all completely random, not tied to any prompt. I just want more stuff about this guy cuz I love him) Fandom/characters: Mouthwashing, Captain Curly, other characters briefly mentioned.
Content warning: Smut (obviously), p in v, curlys packing, title kink, thigh-riding, face-sitting, size difference, manhandling, reader is AFAB, creampie, multiple rounds, riding, cursing, J*mmy.
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-He's a grower, not a shower.
I firmly believe Curly is a distinguished gentleman, unlike J*mmy who would most likely brag about how big he is and end up only being like, 5 or 6 inches. Curly, however, will not mention his size until you see it for yourself. And when he sees your face, he panics. "Oh-shit, uh- i-is it gonna be too big for you? It's okay if it is, I should've warned you.."
He's four inches soft, uncut. I think he keeps himself decently groomed. He's not completely bare, but it isn't a forest. He's got a little v-line that's only visible when he wears sweatpants that you go absolutely feral over. When he gets hard, whoo boy. 9 inches, throbbing. He's got a cute little vein near his tip that you like to attack when you're sucking him off because it makes his thighs shake. He's got a little bit of a mushroom tip, maybe more rounded. Perfect for hitting all those good spots inside you. In short, he's big. (he tucks it, that's why he doesn't have a bulge in his sprites. Also I'm sorry trans-Curly headcannon people ;-;)
-"Need a seat? I'll volunteer."
VEEEEEERRRYYY into face-sitting. Very. Like, the first thing he wants when you guys get freaky is for you to sit on his face. He's not exactly sure why he likes it, to be honest, he just loves the feeling of you absolutely lose yourself on his tongue. He isn't worried about suffocating or anything, since he's a lot bigger than you, so don't be afraid to ride his face! he can handle it! But seriously, use this guy as a seat. He'd give you a few licks up your slit at first to warm you up (again, gentleman) before going for your clit. And when he gets it, he sucks. Hard. He'd also probably sneak a finger or two inside you to add extra stimulation, because he really wants you to come on his face. He desperately yearns for the sound of you screaming his name as your juices cover his face and tongue, letting you ride your orgasm out before lifting you off his face and setting you down. "Alright, sweet-stuff, my turn. On your knees, please."
-Save a Polle, ride his big ass thighs.
So... we've all seen his sprite. He's thick as fuck. He's got a booty and bigger tits than me. But he also has deliciously large thighs.. so use that to your advantage, because he's totally down with it. He likes using it as foreplay to get you wet enough to take him, and he just likes the feeling. He'll probably give himself a hand while you're doing it, or he'll just watch and leave the touching to you.
He isn't much for public sex, but if you're really horny, he'll let you get high on his thigh over his uniform and gently praise you when you come. It gives him a little buzz to be doing something like that in a risky situation, like while he's in the cockpit sitting at the control panel, or even in the commons of the ship with Daisuke in a few rooms away. When you do come, which isn't that long after, he'll kiss you all over your face and head and twirl your hair in his fingers, using his other hand to rub your ass or back.
"There you go, sweetheart, that's a good girl. Good job."
-Sir yes sir.
I know, I know. He gets called 'Captain' and 'Sir' for his job. But if its coming from you when he's balls deep in you.. It's an entirely different reaction.
"D-did.. you just call me- mgh..- Captain?"
It makes him ferociously horny to hear that title slip from your lips, so pray you'll still walk tomorrow. "Ooh, fuck, yeahhh. Call me that again, baby. Call me that again.. Uh-huh. Captain takin' care of this pretty lil' pussy, huh.."
He doesn't dirty talk that explicitly, but you calling him captain gets his creative juices flowing. Oh, also his come. Yeah..
Its also perfect teasing material. You two couldn't even be getting it on, you'd just sneak up behind him and kiss him on the cheek and say "Morning, Captain!" In that tone you know drives him wild. Boom, hard. Poor guy.
-Yeehaw!
favorite position? Cowgirl. For many reasons. One, he loves looking at your face while you ride his cock. The noises, the facial expressions you make, the way your tits bounce up and down with your hips.. He wishes it was a renaissance painting to look at every morning. He also just likes being able to hold you easily. When you're on his lap, its easier for him to snake a hand up and hold your hair out of your face, or to give your ass gentle love taps (he would never spank you, unless asked to). He's a very hands-on guy and wants to touch you, everywhere he can.
Of course, he doesn't mind the occasional doggy, or missionary, or hell, even a Full Nelson, because you KNOW he's able to hold you like that. Manhandling comes naturally with Curly. Gently, of course. He would never hurt you.
-Gets a little messy.
Curly's no one pump chump. He'll go for hours. Even if he's came inside you at least five times, he'll keep going. He's got hella impressive stamina. His motivation? Seeing your cunt leaking his seed when he pulls out. He wants you to still find it in your underwear 3 days later. No hole goes unfilled. He's not exactly a breeder, per-say, though he definitely wouldn't complain about getting you pregnant, he just likes seeing you in a state. He thinks of it as artwork, leaving you so stuffed to the brim. The next day, he'd pull you aside and give you a quick finger-orgasm, just to see if his come's still in there. When it leaks onto his fingers along with your own, he's a very happy man. "Ahh, look at that. Still got it in ya. Should fill you up even more later, hm?"
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oof. my hands hurt. ;-;
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mochiwonz · 20 days ago
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─── LOVE ME HARDER ୨୧
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PAIRING. fem!reader x bf!park sunghoon CONTENT. smut , petnames , p in v , unprotected sex (don't do it !!) , cursing , grinding , skinship (duh ;3) , slight breast and nipple play , big dick hoon agenda , some dirty talk , fluff , hoon is so sweet and compliant </3 NOTE. i'm back :3 and this is my new years gift for u all, enjoy !!
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you and sunghoon loved being close to one another. your guy's favorite was simply cuddling, it just felt so intimate, so raw. well, it really was the most intimate you and sunghoon had ever gotten— if you don't consider make-out sessions.
it's not that you didn't want to have sex with him, of course you did. you just weren't sure how to approach it, how you'd express the want to get fucked by him. and yeah, you'd thought about it before. you'd thought about how he'd ruin you, how his abs would flex while he'd thrust into you, god— you needed him so bad.
and unbeknownst to you, sunghoon felt the exact same, if not worse. he ached for you, to be inside of you. he dreamt about how your pussy would feel around him. wet, tight and warm, all for him. he'd been suppressing his need to fuck for awhile, and it'd just got to a point where he couldn't suppress it any longer. first, he tried jerking off with your panties— and it worked... for two days. then, he tried using a fleshlight. that also didn't work. he thought he was doomed, he didn't want to force himself on you. sunghoon was just unsure if you wanted him like that, yet.
tonight was like any other night, you two came home from work, ate dinner, got ready for bed, and found your way into each other's embrace. in the form of cuddling, of course.
you were wearing your favorite silk pajamas tonight. a long sleeve top and tiny shorts, slightly see-through. sunghoon tried his best to keep himself from ogling at you, you looked so fucking sexy. thankfully, he did a good job because you definitely didn't notice.
"you smell so good, my love" sunghoon says sweetly while nuzzling his face into your hair.
"thank you hoonie, used the conditioner and shampoo set you bought me" you tell him while shifting your body to find a comfortable position.
unfortunately for sunghoon, this caused your ass to rub against his crotch, and fuck. it felt good.
you suddenly felt a firm grip around your waist, pulling you closer.
"hoon what are y-" he's quick to cut you off, pressing his erection against your plump ass.
you gasp at the feeling, and so does sunghoon.
"fuck, this okay, yeah?" he asks in a breathy whisper, already lost in the feeling.
you mumble a "yes" in response. the way his clothed dick was pressed against your clothed ass felt way too good.
immediately, he starts roughly grinding his erection on your ass, too needy to hold himself back any longer.
"feels so good hoon" you manage to say while pushing your ass against him, increasing the pleasure.
this makes sunghoon let out a guttural groan. he swiftly flips you over so that he's on top of you. sunghoon quickly gets rid of his black tank top and his large but pretty hands find their way to your breasts— cupping them.
you whimpered in pleasure. wasting no time, you quickly wrapped your arms around and pulled him into a wet and sloppy kiss. you weren't thinking, you were just doing.
sunghoon then pulls away, abruptly. before you knew it, he had rolled up your top to expose your breasts, and was toying with your hardened nipples with his mouth. you'd never experienced such insane pleasure, you were truly losing it— in a good way, of course.
sunghoon didn't realize how much of a daze he was in. he loved how pretty and perky your breasts were. how pretty your light brown nipples were.
"m' hoon, need more, need you in me" you moan out while desperately grinding your hips harder against his.
he couldn't deny you of what you wanted.
in one swift motion, sunghoon pulls your top over your head and rids of your little pajama shorts.
"look at you baby, so pretty. didn't even wear any underwear under your little jammies" he says while leaving sloppy, open-mouthed kisses from your neckline to your tummy— all you could do was just moan in response.
you've grown quite needy at this point, and so you quickly sit up and tug down his grey sweats to reveal his hardened cock hidden beneath his calvin klein boxers.
sunghoon is caught off guard by your actions, but he loves it. he loves that you're just as needy for him as he is for you.
you bring your palm up to his clothed dick, causing sunghoon's hips to buck up into your hand involuntarily.
"shit princess" you hear him say in a breathy moan.
and before you could even blink, sunghoon tugs down his boxers and kicks them away, leaving you both bare. he looked unreal. his muscles and erect cock all on display, just for you, was really doing something to you.
"gonna prep you, yeah?" he looks at you with a sweet and loving gaze, admiring your pretty self.
you just nod eagerly, you couldn't form an actual response. you were just thinking of how well he'd fill you up. his cock was atleast 6 1/2 inches and was a pretty shade of pink, fitting for sunghoon.
sunghoon bends down and brings his hand to your cunt and spreads your glistening folds. you moan, again. god, sunghoon could cum from just pleasuring you.
wasting no time, he plunges two fingers into your hole— easily sliding them in due to how wet you are.
"so wet for me baby, shit. gonna fuck you so good princess" he feels you clench around his fingers at his dirty words.
"hoon, please" you whine. you needed him in you, now.
he didn't need to hear anything else. he quickly took his fingers out of your sopping cunt. the way they were glistening with your wetness got him even harder. without any thought, he brought his fingers to your mouth and you immediately started sucking on them.
fuck, you were absolutely perfect.
and thank god you'd been drinking pineapple juice for the past few days.
sunghoon brings his other hand to his cock and pumps it a few times. you wrap your legs around his waist and pull him closer. you just always want him closer, even if you're already close enough.
he rubs the tip of his cock along your wet core, causing you both to gasp in pleasure. and next thing you know, he's lifting your hips up to align his cock with your entrance.
you're so eager to be fucked by him, too eager. so eager that you bring your hips closer to his so that his cock finally slides into of you.
"so tight for me baby, shitt" he says in a breathy moan. the way your warm walls were so perfectly sucking him in was causing him to lose all of his sanity.
he was so big. the way he filled you up was more than you could've ever dreamt of. you felt like you were having an out-of-body experience, right now.
what started off as slow thrusts then turned into rapid thrusts— at an animalistic pace. sunghoon was really losing it. you both were, honestly. the way his balls slapped against your ass cheeks every time he thrusted into you was making you see stars.
"so good for me, such a nice pussy, baby fuckk" he wraps his muscular arms around your torso and pulls you up, closer to him. this new position causes his dick to reach even deeper and you swear you're on cloud 9.
you're quick to bring your faces closer together and connect your guy's lips in a very wet and sloppy kiss.
you could already feel the knot in your stomach. with the way sunghoon was fucking you, you'd be cumming anytime now.
sunghoon could tell that, too— by your body language and the way you were moaning and screaming his name.
"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck hoonie faster !" you scream, desperately.
sunghoon compliantly starts thrusting into you at an even quicker pace, if that was even humanly possible.
"your little cunt was made for me, all for me, shit" he grunts and brings one of his hands to your breast to squeeze it.
"been dreaming of fucking you for so long, princess, pussy so good— so good f' me" you clench around his cock and let out a loud moan. the way he was talking so dirty really did something to you.
you were so close to cumming, so close. and as if he knew exactly how you were feeling, sunghoon brought his thumb to your clit and started ramming into you even deeper than before.
"ngh ! hoonie, gonna, fuck— cum, gonna cum !" you bring your hands to his hair and pull him even closer, so that he's almost laying on top of you.
"yeah? gonna cum for me baby? cum on my cock, fuckk"
and that you do.
once your orgasm hits, he thrusts into you even faster— making you see stars.
"shit princess, clenching me so fucking tight, gonna fill you up with my cum, shit—"
he quickly slung your legs over his shoulders as he continued to ram into you and fill your pretty little cunt with his load.
"you okay, pretty?" sunghoon asked, wanting to make sure you were okay.
after all, he did just fuck you like a dog.
"'m okay hoonie" you replied weakly, your throat hurting from all the screaming.
"let's clean you up, yeah?" sunghoon carefully wrapped his arms around your waist and planted a kiss on your cheek.
afterwards, he quickly got up to go to the bathroom to go get a warm towel.
the rest of the night was filled with lots of love— cuddling and many kisses.
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please like, reblog, and comment if u enjoyed :3 u can find my other works here !
© mochiwonz ― all rights reserved. do not copy, steal, or translate my work.
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foxxsong · 1 year ago
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.
#i miss going to shul a lot but I'm. conflicted.#my medical stuff that was preventing a lot of it has been improving to the point where i think i technically could again#but the only synagogue that's easily accessible for me is... i dunno. i love the community there#i really do. but they don't have a Rabbi or even offer Judaism 101 classes so i can't progress in conversion like i desperately want#and on top of it they always - at least when I've gone - have some sort of pastor or preacher present who is encouraged to participate#disregarding my distaste with them having Christian leaders present but no Rabbi because i know they're hurting financially#(the previous one retired RIGHT before i was able to start attending. i even got to meet his last conversion student on my first trip. ouch)#i have such severe Christian trauma that the last time i went and the preacher started talking about the bible i nearly had a full blown#panic attack that would've sent me running out of the room if i wasn't trapped in place by how mortified i would've been by doing that#so while i applaud their outreach program stuff and do agree with its necessity because of the size and area they're in#i just. don't feel safe going. but i can't get to the other nearest ones without having to make multiple people drive me.#and it's so close to the High Holy Days that i don't want to scare anyone or be a bother. and i can't get over the feeling that#I'd be abandoning the first community that welcomed me despite them pointing me in this direction since they know they can't help me convert#because i don't know if I'd be able to bring myself to go back even if i wanted to#but at the same time... i can't as easily get to the others. so what would i be meant to do after finishing my conversion?#assuming i even COULD because of the distance.#sigh...#no one said it was gonna be easy but of all the possible hurdles did it really have to be these?#(i wonder sometimes how much their struggle to get more than a handful of people to show up regularly#might also have to do with the fact that I'm not sure how many Jews want to listen to Christian interpretations of the Torah on Shabbos...)
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lylian333 · 2 months ago
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~Yandere emperor x reader~
warning: read at your own risk, traumatizing, dark historical shits, noncon, force, many misunderstandings,sexual harrest , angst ,age gap, everything here is quite insane, historical au, he's fucking crazy, killing, insults, English is not my first langue(if there's any warning I didn't put, tell me)
words:2180
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(this is not my art I found it on Pinterest, and in the comment section it's said that it was made by AI so💀)
~~
Princess (y/n) Laurier has been best friends with Princess Alyssa Everett since you both were just 6 years old. You both have many things in common, such as interests, opinions, and much more.
You both would usually hang out around each other's kingdom; you don't have any issues with her except with her father, Emperor Edward Everett. He was the hottest, most handsome man you have ever met, and you still do now.
You have had a huge crush on him that felt like butterflies inside your stomach since the day you met him, but he always has that emotionless face and rarely smiles unless at his wife, your best friend's mother. You know this from Princess Alyssa; she would complain about how cold and serious he is.
You still ignore those and try getting to know him, but he just looks annoyed or just straight-up ignores you, but you ignore it and still continue liking him. Not only that, you're not the only one; it's obvious that everyone that has met him, females and even males, all drool for him.
You still have some sense in you, and you also have to respect the Everett queen and Princess Alyssa since she is your best friend. You can't just let some love ruin the relationship you both had. You can't. She is like a sister to you. She helps you when you're confused; she protects and defends you when you were getting laughed at; she is there when you needed someone the most. It's not worth losing a relationship like this, and so your liking toward his father slowly dies down.
But things change when you grow up and start having features and curves and in the end, you become a gorgeous woman, many people are jealous of you even Princess Alyssa confesses to you about it and some desperately want you. You reject all of them since none of them are worthy of you, and you're disinterested in them.
Your intense gaze and soft complexion, with your structured face and striking presence, are on par with an iconic beauty, paired with the warmth and softness in your expression, which are very delicate. You would struggle to not look at yourself when there is a mirror.
You still have some feelings toward Emperor Edward, but you manage to hide it and be able to not think about him when talking to him.
The worst thing that could have happened was that the Queen of Everett died from childbirth while trying to give birth to the heir to the throne, but it went to a disaster. It was devastating news to hear from everyone.
The emperor was absolutely devastated and even despised the child. From that moment on he would never talk to anyone unless it was part of a duty, but other than that he would ignore the servant's advisers and even his own kids, which left Princess Alyssa depressed since she had to bear her mother's death, her father's coldness, and the baby boy that her mother lost her life to.
That week she came crying to you when you came to visit her and attended the funeral of the Everett Queen death. You decide to stay at Everett Palace for a few months before going back to Laurier Kingdom.
You promised Princess Alyssa that you'd take care of her and her baby brother, and so you did. After all, back at your kingdom and your family, you have 6 siblings, plus you, and you are the third eldest, which makes you the middle You have experience with babies after the experience of you sibling that you swear are more naughtyer when you take care of them.
In those months of staying, Emperor noticed that you had to take care of the baby boy and Princess Alyass when he found you singing a lullaby for them to fall asleep.
At that moment something in him awoke, something dark, horrible, and disgusting. He knew this was wrong, but who was there to stop him? Not even himself could do that.
From that moment on, he would try getting close to you and getting to know you better; by that, he would call you into his office or into his chamber. When talking, he would get close to you, too close, to the point that he's invading your personal space by burying his face in your hair, breathing in that sweet, gentle scent, or sucking and biting your earlobe.
You knew this was wrong. You both knew this was wrong, but you guys still continued. Your brain keeps telling you to stop and that this is your best friend's father, but your gut tells you to continue. For your best friend Princess Alyssa's sake.
At one of those meetings, you confess to him that you don't want to continue these "meetings" to respect your best friend Alyssa and her baby brother Prince James.
But when he hears that you swear you could feel the air getting tense and his face looks tense as well, and with clenched fists, he looks like he could kill someone that might have been you or others.
He then pushes you onto his office desk and forcefully rips your clothes off. All you can remember that day was just horror, pure fucking horror. It haunts your dreams, memories, and everything that you see that can somehow be related to the day you and he were together.
The cherry on top is Emperor Endward sends an arranged marriage to your kingdom between you both; you pray that your parents would reject this offer, but no. Instead, they accept it and send you a letter telling you the reasons that this could help our kingdom very much and this could give you a better future and more, but all you care about is that you're trapped with him. They also added in that they would be unable to see because of the distance of the two kingdoms and that it is time to set you free.
Oh, how you wish it were true to let you spread your wings and have your own freedom.
You hated everything, mostly yourself. You hated yourself for not being more alert and not telling anyone, not even your own family or close ones; you—you can't even describe the feeling that you're feeling at that point. You quite literally were disgusted by yourself.
You cry all day long to the point where Princess Alyssa hears it and finds you, and you vomit out all the things that happened while still crying. You wish the earth could just eat you whole, make you disappear from the earth, from this world, from this life.
You keep pressuring yourself that this is your fault for days till your hair has a few strands of white hair that you have noticed.
The wedding was within the week, and you both got married and wed. That very day and night of the "honeymoon," he slams you against the bed carelessly and forcibly spears open your legs with his hand while another pins both your head on top of your head.
You whisper near your ear,True to be told, I have actually noticed that since you were just a little girl, you always had a crush on me, so technically you wanted this to happen, so don't cry like last time, dear."
Your eyes go wide when you hear that he actually noticed. He knows that you have no words—absolutely no words.
That night was as horrible and traumatizing as the night you both had together. Princess Alyssa personally tries to help you escape; even after the marriage, she still supports you, even knowing the fact you are technically her stepmother.
But she accepted you, and you were quite stunned at how she handled the situation. Even though it was like hell, she still helped, whether by holding you while you were crying or whatever she was still there. It felt like she was starting to take care of you instead of you taking care of her like how you first promised.
In one of the many attempts of you trying to escape and her helping you with it, you both were caught, and Emperor Edward decided to punish you by isolating you and sentencing Princess Alyssa to be beheaded, his own daughter.
And you were forbidden to give her any visits after the situation. You didn't get the chance to even give her the last hug or talk or anything, not even a goodbye. You even threatened to kill yourself if he didn't allow you to see her, but he just laughs at you and tells the guards to throw you inside a dungeon where there's nothing, not even a window, so you have to rely on the fire outside.
Just like that, she's gone forever. You cry for days and refuse to eat, sleep, or even drink. The king himself has to personally force-feed you so that you don't die. You even scream and beat him as hard as you can in rage whenever you see him, but he just stands there, not unbothered. You might as well think that he doesn't even care or feel anything anymore, no remorse, no nothing, just disgusting lovesick eyes looking at you.
"I just can't get enough of you, love~"
Your life goes on until you have had enough, like enough one more year of this. You seriously don't think you want to be reincarnated into another life. You desperately want to feel things instead of being trapped in the shared chamber all day long, only allowed to go out to the garden for 1 hour to get fresh air with a few ladies in waiting and your own trusted servants near you to keep being aware of you and make sure you're not doing anything harmful to yourself or escaping.
You came up with the stupidest and most shameful idea. You decide to frame yourself for cheating on Emperor Edward and confess to him that you cheated. Making up fake clues for others to notice and gossip about, but the emperor refuses to believe it, so you told him personally.
"I cheated on you, Edward."
"You must be joking, dear. How would you even be able to do that, hm?"
but you just keep repeating the sentence, "I cheated on you."
This makes him overthink and triggers him, and he ends up struggling with you to death in the process. You still keep repeating the sentence, which forces him to grip your neck even harder till you are no longer breathing—not even a single movement, just soulless eyes staring straight.
When he realized that it was too late and there was no turning back, he let go of your neck, and you collapsed onto the ground, dead. He kneeled down next to you; finally, at this moment, he felt guilty for everything. He reflected on the things he had done to you, the amount of damage. Why didn't he think about this earlier? Maybe that could help him.
No, it's your fault for cheating on him. How dare you filthy women cheat on an emperor that has done everything for her sake? To this day he still blames you, but part of him does regret not caring what you felt and thought. He only treated you like a toy, a glass doll that would easily be broken. But he just couldn't help but love you with all his might, even if it meant hurting you.
He tried to keep your body from decomposing and rotting and would soak you in water to slow down the decomposing. He even went mad and brought you to the throne room for events, dressed you properly, stuffed you with cotton to keep you looking more alive, and said to others, "My wife is doing well; look at her, she's such a sleepy head; look at her sleeping, hehe…"
Sadly, eventually, he had no other choice but to finally bury you because your body was decomposing and smelling really bad. At the funeral, he gives a speech on how she was in his life and how he can't believe she died before him from 'sickness' and oh how sad he was and how he saw her glowing up into an elegant woman and more.
Prince James also gave a speech about how you try helping out, that he always sees her as a mother figure, and how (y/n) has always tried her best. He was innocent in all of these; as well, he even balled his eyes out when he found out that you died.
At the very last moment of seeing your face, he cupped your cheek one last time.
"Oh, how much I will miss you oh how I wish that I could go with you as well, but it's fine you don't need to worry love In my will, when I die, I'm going to be buried right next to you." He says that while chuckling while feeling remorse.
~~
omg, there are so many things I want to comment on but erm yeah this is how it is??? it could have been worse
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