#don't wanna tag em all

[alexandersimpleton]

Frederick's legs were aching. It hadn't gotten any better since he was ten and first started showing symptoms, but they were still hurting more than usual.

He was talking with Gwen about a book he had an idea for during a sort of lazy day at their castle. They were in the living room with the other two couples, Jack watching the children like a hawk.

"So anyways, they're fighting the big parasite, but a bright light suddenly flashes in Ashling's eyes, and the book ends on one line."

"What what what?" Gwen was hooked

"'The woman woke up, noticing she was chained to a bed. A small part of her started to panick a little, as if she was seeing some sort of truth, but before she could complete the thought, she snuffed it out. After all," He added a final flare to the line, making sure the tone was just right "it would do no good to panick.'"

"Wow. Holy crap that would be so cool!"

"I know right! Someone should totally write that!!"

"Oh, you should write that!"

"Do you really think I'd be able to pull it off?" Frederick sounded flattered.

"Oh, you definitely would!"

Frederick smiled a little, but suddenly winced in pain.

"F-Frederick?"

Frederick found himself falling face-first into the floor, and blacked out.

Frederick woke up in a hospital bed. This brought back memories...

He looked around trying to distract himself, noticing Gwen looking at him.

Frederick was pretty flustered. "G-Gwen! I didn't notice you there." The worry won however, so he asked her "Uh, what's going-" he tried to pull his legs up to his chest, but he realized that he couldn't feel them. He looked down and tried touching them a little, but he didn't feel it on his leg, just his hand.

Gwen noticed the boy cut himself off. Why would he- he touched his leg a little, recoiling back. Did something happen to his legs.

Frederick started hyperventilating. He tried to push himself into the wall with his legs, but he still couldn't feel them.

Gwen put a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"F-Frederick." She took a deep breath. She was panicking just as much as Frederick right now. "Breath with me, okay. In two three four, hold two three four, out two three four." She has only saw Prez do this. Luckily, it seemed to be working somewhat.

Frederick's breathing slowed, and he seemed lucid, but he still looked at his legs, fear in his eyes.

"Do your legs hurt?"

Frederick shook his head.

"C.. can you feel them?"

Frederick shook his head.

Gwen didn't know what to say. She didn't know much more than Frederick.

Blaine walked in, breaking the silence and seeing his brother. Her ran up, hugging the boy tightly. Gwen saw more emotion in his face than she had ever seen out of him before.

But than, Isolde and Leland followed him. Gwen thought he looked rather scared of the latter as the scampered over to the side of the bed.

"Little bro!" Lance looked more panicked than anything as he rushed in. "What happened? Are you hurt? Are you dead? Are you a ghost? I don't want you to be a ghost!"

Frederick chuckled a little. "No, I'm not a ghost. I just-"

"Managed to break himself more." Leland interrupted. He looked at the boy coldly, as if he was some mut to be looked down on rather than his own son.

Blaine wanted to intervene. He wanted to yell at his father, say that Frederick wasn't broken, and that he was amazing, but if he did, Leland would... And he'd... Blaine couldn't. He couldn't take objecting to his father again, or the scars might start showing.

And so, he just looked down, clutching the floor as hard as he could. Gwen noticed the pained look on his face that he had failed to hide. Like his favorite recipe book was being torn up right in front of his eyes and he couldn't do anything about it. Like he wanted to pounce on Leland but couldn't. Isolde was having a similar feeling, though she was better at hiding it.

Frederick didn't look as impassioned however. He simply looked down as Leland berated him. All that light that has been slowly building up over time was gone from his eyes.

Eventually, the family, minus Frederick, left the building. As they left, Lance put a hand on Frederick's, taking it back after a glare from Leland. Blaine and Isolde just followed the man, heads down in redesigned silence.

Frederick just stayed in that position, that same, dead look in his face.

"C-can you just leave."

"If you want."

So, it was just Frederick. He pulled his legs up to his chest with his hands, resting his head on them a crying.

Frederick didn't know when he'd fallen asleep. He only knew that he had fallen asleep when he woke up to a window opening.

"Hey kiddo." It was Prez. "A little birdie told me something happened. How are you holding up?" Frederick noticed Monika was riding on her shoulder.

Little to anyone of the plaid or pastel family's knowledge, Monika had come to make sure everything was going well, and hadn't seen Frederick anywhere in the main parts of the castle, so she had searched all over until she found Frederick while he was getting berated by Leland and went to tell Prez.

"Uh," his voice was slightly raspy from crying. "I haven't died yet, I guess. C-can't say the same for my legs though." He let go of the now useless appendages, watching them slide back down the bed.

Both of the two noticed that he was about to cry.

Monika snuggled up to Frederick's neck. She knew crow feathers were soft, so she hoped it'd help.

"Wow. I didn't know crow feathers were so soft."

"Yeah, I know right." Prez said.

"But anyways, Monika said that she saw your father talking to you." Her hand clenched up at the mention of him. Her opinion of the man had been getting low as of late.

Monika turned back into a human. "Yeah, I didn't have my glasses, but you looked kinda sad."

Frederick nodded. "Yeah. Father said some.. not very nice things."

Frederick thinks that was the first time he ever saw Monika look pissed off like that. She had been mad at him for pushing her off a cliff that one time, but here she looked less like she was salty and more like she wanted to peck out something important.

"Kid," Prez seemed serious. "did he say anything about you being broken or whatever? Because if he did, he is so wrong! Got it?"

Monika nodded. "Yeah. You're awesome!"

Frederick blushed a little. "T-thanks."

"Good." Monika said. "Now that that's out of the way... WHERE THE CRAP IS YOUR DAD?! I SWEAR I'M GONNA PECK OUT SOMETHING IMPORTANT!"

Frederick put a hand over her mouth, or tried before he fell off the bed, before crawling over with his hands. "Shhhhh! There are still doctors outside." He was giggling at the sudden change of the girl's tone.

Monika crossed her arms over her chest, resigning to silence, as Prez helped him back on the bed.

The two left the room eventually. They had to get sleep too after all.

But Leland seemed tired the next day. He said a crow kept squawking as he was trying to sleep.

[pinkadillydoo]

wanted a new phone wallpaper and then remembered i can draw. so :3

[khaotunq]

TYPECAST: First Kanaphan edition

[lizard12323]

I just realized that when it comes to flying Uzi never really got to fly when it was storming, though the disassembly drones most likely did.

Just imagine her clinging to one of them (no matter how close they are relationship wise) and not letting go until they're away from the storm.

[cheesecrisp]

[chaggiehearts]

I've just noticed that Vaggie and Charlie's meeting is what Emerald probably wished her meeting with Cinder had been like and now I'm crying 🥲

[moe-broey]

6/15 • Day 7 • Free Day

Sharena Says FUCK‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

They've been lost in the woods for at least three hours.

@sharenaweek

Textpost inspo under cut!

[majimasleftasscheek]

Here’s a brain scratcher aniki, besides Kiryu and Kazuma-San what kind of parent would each of the main cast be. (Just the major players from the games IE protags and antags. You can include Ichiban’s party to!)

let's see...

Majima: good! but irresponsible parent. would spoil immensely, compensates for things he can't do or messes up. very open to whatever the kid wants/thinks but can be unintentionally harsh when scolding. promotes living to the fullest but will worry to the expense of his health when he can't be around to take care of things. will be overbearing with good intentions but suffocating.

Saejima: very nurturing and attentive but tough, a bit overbearing on the life lessons and shit like that. would leave a child to their own devices often to encourage individual growth and accepts failures well, very patient. would be hard to get a read on though normally, leaving a kid to guessing how he's feeling/doing, making his parenting feel a bit lonesome.

Nishiki: great with kids in a cool uncle sort of way. would be friends with his kids vs being their actual parent as he worries a lil too much about what they think of him. spoils them a lot, especially if it makes him look pretty great in front of others. doesn't handle problems very well and has only the basics of advice for a struggling child - would have to ask others what to do.

Ichiban: good parent but bumbling. would try his best to be a good dad but realistically good vibes and idealism isn't always enough. would rely on others for help with kids, especially if it's something he can't provide himself. would teach them to be kind and open minded, careful to not be too strict. would prolly relate the most to kids, being a child at heart himself though his personality would make it seem like he's not taking things seriously.

Ryuji: would raise a kid to be just like himself, brutish and confident. the type to be like, let's go to the junkyard and smash car windows for fun. values traits that align with his own like strength and a strong will - would be disappointed in anything he'd deem too whimsical. would think it's funny if his kid rebelled against them and teach them the hard way that it wouldn't fly but also encourage them to keep trying to be their own person anyway.

Daigo: would be a good parent to the best of his ability, compensating for his own experiences (Dojima lol). very patient and a good listener, excels at consoling to where his kid would feel very comfy telling him anything. can be a bit too soft and unintentionally ignorant to underlying problems a child might have. a child might feel guilty towards him for his kindness and oppositely *not* want to dump their worries on him. sometimes plays too much a teacher than a parent.

Mine: no lmao actual answer: he'd suck ass. he'd be a tiger parent, strict and cold. growing up is about accomplishment and being self sufficient. if a kid wants his time, better schedule an appointment. would teach a kid the harsh realities of life whilst ignoring the good stuff to temper expectations. punishments are often harsh. doesn't really relate to his kid other than they both breathe and blink.

Akiyama: do I even gotta say it ksdlagjlds he would be *squint* alright at parenting in the same way it's alright to drink bleach. he's there and he exists but is irresponsible. can't be counted on to make important dates on time or remember things a kid needs. frequently has to ask for help (Hana). will 100% give a child secondhand smoke and be skeazy about the types of life lessons he'd not necessarily teach outright but would imply with his behavior.

Tanimura: I don't got much of a read on him tbh but being that he's got a gambling problem, I feel like that would have some play in childcare lol, that being he's prolly a bit inattentive until it comes to money. he's a bit skeavy so he would prolly turn a blind eye to his kid doing something wrong and enforces rules poorly. would at least instill good teachings to help others, tho how, would be sketchy.

Shinada: he'd do pretty well I think if he had a stable living situation. he's very passionate about his interests and would share that with his kid, and if the kid wants to do their own thing, he'd encourage following that too. being goofy, he'd be a fun dad. I'm prolly the only motherfucker on earth who ships him with Milky-chan so I think they'd do really well as parents who come from rough lives trying to make a better one for their kid.

Sagawa: including him cuz he's my fav villain. he defo seems the type to have a kid somewhere with an estranged partner who left him first. he's caring, in a sinister type of way, one that makes you feel like you're being manipulated but not sure enough to say. "he knows what's best" and would for sure turn a child against his partner. in an alternate sense, he could also lead a double life, being an actual decent person to his family but a dickhead on the side. very psychopathic.

[princeofallhallows]

Gay people. real

[keeps-ache]

spillage.

[ + other things :D ]

[seventh-district]

Could've left me just the way you found me, but you came and put your wings around me. You went out of your way, to fix what you didn't break.

This song is so incredibly Sam & Darlin' coded and no one can tell me otherwise.

[lots of lyrical analysis below the cut] [there's also a short little fanfic blurb of them stargazing down there too (this post got really out of hand lmao)]

For those not fully caught up, note that the following commentary contains various spoilers for Sam and Darlin's stories.

Note: Unfortunately this song is gendered, using the word 'girl' several times. Which sucks a little bit for immersion purposes, not only for keeping Darlin' gender-neutral, but also because I see this song as a duet between them, and Darlin' obviously wouldn't be addressing Sam with the word 'girl' either. So! As with most songs on their playlist, we're just gonna mentally omit any gendered terms we come across.

Side note: Frustratingly, this is one of those songs that didn't really even need to gender the subject in the first place. No part of the story or message is lost without it. But alas, many songs are like that, and so the playlist-makers of the world shall continue to suffer. [/lh]

Anyways, preamble's over. It's lyric time now yay!

Sam's Part

I was a ten-year train wreck

Technically for Sam I suppose it was 13 years, but ten is close enough (and 'ten' admittedly flows a lot better in the rhythm of the song than 'thirteen' would.) Anyways, we're not here to split hairs, (I have to remind myself), we're just here to point out similarities.

In Sam's Dec. '22 HBW, he says "For the last 13 years or so I haven't had to care too much about how I look. Seemed a little redundant after turnin', considerin' I didn't wanna be around much'a anybody anyway."

I think he's mentioned or alluded to that roughly 13 year period of time more than once, but that's the one I remember best so it's the example I'm using. There's still about 4 Sam audios I've yet to listen to as of making this post, so if I'm missing some Key Lore I'll edit this later. But for now, I don't think Sam has given many specifics on exactly how bad things got during that time. Luckily, 'train wreck' is a pretty broad and subjective term, so it easily covers any degree to which he may have fallen apart during those years.

It also feels like a very 'him' way of quickly brushing over the details of his past/his hurt, as he seems to tend to do with Darlin', (not all the time ofc but it's still something I've noticed) putting his own hurt on the backburner to prioritize and attend to theirs. Even outside of his dynamic with them, I think as a healer, it's something he learned to do. And now he does it with everyone. Put on a brave face, compartmentalize things and unpack them later, etc. I could go on and on but there'll be time for that in other posts I'm sure. For now, lets get back to the song at hand.

With a last-call longneck

Due to personal reasons, I've yet to decide if I want to HC him as having used alcohol as a coping mechanism during that time. I don't recall him having mentioned alcohol much, if at all, (maybe one mention of whiskey that I don't have time to find right now) so I don't think it's necessarily canon that he did, but it's certainly possible. My personal preferences aside, I'll admit it makes for some good additional angst. (And- self-indulgently- it makes some other songs on my playlist for them more fitting.) So, for the sake of this song, let's imagine that he did.

I was searchin', I'd been hurt real bad

This one feels pretty self-explanatory given what Alexis did, (and, if you wanna get even angstier with it, whatever his family did earlier on in his life) so there isn't much commentary to add on my end.

I HC that in spite of 'not wanting to be around anybody', he- like Darlin- still had a tiny part of himself buried deep down that was, in a way, 'searching' for someone to find solace in. (No this isn't me projecting onto them both haha what are you talking about-)

Movin' on, gettin' sidetracked One step forward and five back

This is generally applicable enough that I don't feel the need to give too much of a specific example. Anyone who's recovered or is recovering from trauma knows this non-linear, back-and-forth struggle well already, and I'm sure he was no stranger to it.

If I were to give some examples though, I could point to Darlin's (and subsequently, Sam's) encounter with Alexis at the summit, or the shit that Quinn dredged up about Fredrick and threw at Sam in the interrogation room. Those are both more recent examples and I imagine these lines of the song to be coming from a place of him prior to meeting Darlin', but still, they're some instances where I'm sure he felt like the past was pulling him back in. I'm sure that there's been many throughout those 13 years that we were never witness to.

Not your fault, I was scared to fall

This line reminds me of their 'Cuddles and Confessions' audio. I don't think he ever explicitly said he was 'scared' per se, so afaik there's no specific line I can quote, but in that and every audio prior, he was obviously hesitant to admit, perhaps even to himself, that he was gradually falling for them. Even after the initial confession, there's certain limits of his (e.g. biting) that he carries for far longer, and some that I (and others) HC that he'll carry forever. So this line feels to me like him reassuring Darlin' that his reluctance isn't the fault of them, but his past.

Darlin's Part

You were the star in the pitch black Shine the way on the way back

We don't have any canon instances of them comparing Sam to a star, but I can see it being something they'd say (perhaps less poetically, but the sentiment would be there) one night while laying up on their roof watching the stars with him. Maybe they're dead-tired, talking nonsense with lidded eyes at the end of a long day, fighting sleep in favor of more time spent with him.

"What- what're you pointin' at Darlin'?"

Their hazy focus is trained on the brightest star visible in their line of sight, arm stretched out to the sky above them. "That really bright one, to the... to the left."

Sam does his best to follow their less-than-specific directions of 'to the left', their pointed finger doing little to help given the difference in perspective. Luckily, after all these years, he knows this stretch of night sky like the back of his hand, so it isn't hard to locate the brightest one. Ghosting his fingers up along their arm, he takes their hand in his and brings it back down to earth. "Okay, yeah, I see it now. What about it though?"

"That's you." They say, matter-of-factly.

"That's me?" He questions, humor in his tone.

"Mhm." They nod with finality, blinking slow.

Sam considers the odd statement for a moment before gently correcting them. "I'm uh, I'm pretty sure that's Sirius, actually."

They scoff. "I am being serious."

Sam stifles a laugh into their hair. "No- no I mean- like... what's another name for it... Oh! It's also called the Dog Star."

"C'mon Sam, at least call it the Wolf Star if you're trying to turn this around on me..."

He shakes his head and readies himself to explain further, but they cut him off before he can start. "But no- no, this one isn't about me. That's you."

He decides to play along, finding something endearing in their overtired nonsense. "Okay... then would'ja be so kind as to explain to this confused old man just how, or why that star is me?"

Their frown is audible in their voice as they latch onto the wrong part of his sentence. "You're not old, Sam. ...Do I need to tell Asher to kick the jokes down a notch?"

He smiles at their over-protectivity. "There'll be no need for that, now. Was just a joke, darlin', I promise."

They huff, but thankfully shift focus back to the prior topic. "It's... I dunno. It's just you, Sam. It's... bright. Light. Something warm, out there in the cold dark. Standing out amongst all the rest. Calling to me, stealing my attention. I... I didn't come out here looking for it, but there it is. ...There you were. In the dark. The only bright thing I'd seen in... fuck, in years. Years of chasing fleeting warmth, tripping over myself in the pitch black, falling into... places 'n people I shouldn't have. You were the light in that darkness. Even there, surrounded by the ghost of him. You outshone it. Your warmth didn't hurt. I didn't have to squint when I looked at you. You weren't the blinding sun. You were the brightest star I'd ever seen. You guided me back home."

In the back of their mind, they recall something they once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can see a star that's already burnt out, because it's light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.

They remember Sam's words, once whispered to them on this very roof.

"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."

They think about dead stars.

They think about time.

"...-lin'? Darlin'?" Sam's calloused hand slides up their forearm, pulling them out of their thoughts. "There you are. Think I lost ya' for a minute there... you good?"

They look up at Sam, concern creasing his features, shadows cast across his face from the light of the dying stars above him.

They reach out, pulling him down into them. Burying their face into his collar, Sam's concern grows when he feels it saturate with tears. A human might struggle to hear their words, muffled against the thick fabric, but his hearing catches it just fine.

"Don't burn out too quick. Please. I still need you here. I don't- I don't wanna be left in the dark again. Please, please Sam. Don't leave me here. I'm not selfish enough to ask you for forever, but please. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet."

.......Whoopsies! Really, genuinely didn't mean to improv an entire scene there, good god. Also didn't mean to swerve hard into angst at the end but uh. that's what came out! so I'm rolling with it lmao. Aaanyways let's move on, it's getting late and this is a song analysis post, not a fic.

Out of nowhere, answered all my prayers

'Out of nowhere' reminds me of Sam's words from the same HBW video I referenced earlier. "You came into my life like a damn wreckin' ball. There was no preparing for that, clothing or otherwise." While those were Sam's words, not Darlin's, I still feel like they feel similarly to how suddenly Sam came into their life as well. (Not in a bad way, mind you!)

[the significance of 'answered all my prayers' edges into my own personal more headcanon-y/personal/OC-ified Darlin' territory, so we can just gloss over this one for the sake of at least attempting to keep this more universally applicable]

Picked up the towel that I threw in Took in a heart that was ruined

Again, largely self-explanatory I feel. (*proceeds to explain anyways*) I imagine that Darlin' was at the point of throwing in the towel, hellbent on a solo-mission to find Quinn regardless of the danger it posed to them. I doubt they were looking toward the future anymore, (to reference Sam,) fully willing to throw themself at their problems until they really did break.

The specific use of 'ruined' hits hard here, because after everything they went through with Quinn, and especially after he recounted it all to Sam in that interrogation room, I imagine that they really, truly did feel ruined.

Showed me the past ain't a tattoo Loved me even when you didn't have to

These lines in particular make me sick with emotion every time I hear this song, because I feel like they hit the nail on the head for how Darlin' feels.

I'll be here citing various quotes all night that I feel showcase that sentiment, but we don't have time for that! So instead I'm just pointing to the entirety of 'Quinn's Aftermath' video, and leaving you with this single quote from it.

"Everything that he said reflects nothin' on you, and everything on him."

Equally Applicable Lines

And I don't know why Why you saw something in me, baby But you saw right through All the pain, and you came and saved me Yeah, I know you didn't leave me lonely Weren't the one that put the heartbreak on me Picked up the pieces It wasn't the mess that you made Could've left me just the way you found me But you came and put your wings around me You went out of your way To fix what you didn't break

Again, I think these lines are all pretty self-explanatory, and are just as accurate coming from either one of them. To me, at least, their entire dynamic is that they saved each other, in their own ways.

(But I will admit, the final verses about 'going out of your way to fix what you didn't break' are definitely conjuring up memories of Sam in the early days, literally going out of his way to visit and heal Darlin' after their fight with the two vamps. In general, his continued/repeated healing of them after they once again hurt themselves is the very literal definition of fixing what he didn't break.

But! While we may have more blatant examples of Sam being 'the fixer' so to speak, I think he'd argue that Darlin' has done plenty fixing of their own. Physical wounds aren't the only things that need healing, after all.)

-------

[shameless self-promo of my Sam & Darlin' playlist for those few of u interested enough to make it to the very end of this wall of text. if u liked this then u might like some of the other songs on there soooo maybe go check it out and maybe perhaps give it a follow so i can get a little serotonin boost or dopamine or whatever the chemical is that's released when Number Go Up. ...okay that's it i hope u enjoyed my fixation-induced ramblings! thank u and goodnight]

[bladesandstars]

Tell me more about your favorite Genshin ships. Tell me more about your favorite dynamics. Tell me about your favorite characters. Tell me about the stories you've got stuck in your head, waiting for an outlet. TELL ME. 0u0

Okay, this got so INCREDIBLY long. Thank you so much for asking! I'm gonna keep this post to everyone's favorite rock grandpa, though I do love many other characters and ships. Here we go:

Zhongli

I am probably the most excited about him as a character. He's sweet and funny and angsty and complex and potentially terrifying based on his past. I love him. I want to write him all the things. Details below. Spoilers abound, up through Fontaine and including Zhongli's character quest.

- the concept of erosion is so good from a writing perspective. I particularly like this juxtaposed with Neuvillette, who is supposed to be gaining information and serving as a memory for humanity. But I also love it with Baizhu, who is eroding in his own way and presumably much faster.

- war god Zhongli is wonderful. I envision writing him with Xiao here, because their canon interactions are so good. There's also Azhdaha, who breaks my heart every time I think about it. The flavor of writing that ship before and up until Zhongli does what he needs to do? Delicious. But also Guizhong? Canon is ambiguous but I do hc him as smitten and in love with her - the plains bear their ship name and I'm emo about it. (She tops. Lmao. I'm still getting used to the fierce t/b tagging in this fandom - I do my best to be polite, but my brain loves to switch everyone so it's hard.) 

- flashes of former war god with Childe is sucha  delicious concept as well. Something about their contrasts - I can see why they have the fandom in a chokehold. I'm there too. Zhongli's ancient presence, having experienced so many things, slow to anger but so powerful in his anger - next to young hothead Childe who wants to Fight Everyone but still has that "what happened to you in the Abyss, son" mystery and Foul Legacy complexity to him. And he's a good af fighter and I love an ancient being surprised by a relative newcomer.

- Ningguang. My favorite ship for her is Beidou, but Zhongli having a deep, quiet respect for her that grows into something more is so good. He thanks her for taking such good care of the city, she shows him around his human body a lil....it's good. If the Jade Chamber is a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'.

- this doesn't even include the age-old Venti shenanigans or how I think the old man would deal with someone like Kaeya or Alhaitham, both very funny in different ways.

[waywardly-we-go]

[bucketinyourwalls]

Hollywood Undead Tumblr Fandom I don't know if you're still alive but how would you all feel about the fellas but I put em through the pony beam for shits and giggles. I personally think it would be really funny and kind of nice to design and figure out I ain't gonna lie.

[valentinesapprentice]

Honestly, the lack of Manga Fukidashi merch is a fucking travesty. That boy's design lends itself to a bookmark card. Not even a pin ???? Breaks my heart.

Just look at him. Manga Fukidashi, you deserve your own merch even if people don't appreciate your swag (v_`v٥) smh my head

[politemagic]

random mildly amusing em lore drop bc i have routines in the night on repeat right now

okay so, i spent 5 days in a psych hospital this spring. while i was in the hospital, i had a roommate. now, as someone in the hospital in part for SEVERE anxiety, and specifically social anxiety, this was not ideal to begin with. however my specific roommate paced our room all. night. long. i'm talking she would go to sleep at 6pm, then wake up at about 10pm (lights out) and just. walk. and she would stop and stare out the window (which was approximately one foot away from my bed). unnecessary detail but they literally had to prescribe me stronger sleeping medications because i kept waking up to her scuffling around my bed.

now, when twenty one pilots released clancy and we listened to the song routines in the night and heard "walk the layout, routines in the night" my husband looked at me and said "that's your roommate from the hospital" and i fucking lost it, with how much the album speaks to my mental health in the past year it was absolutely hysterical to draw that connection. and now every time i hear that absolute bop i think of my roommate. hope ur doing well girl