#don't see it as hate towards him for see
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the one thing everyone agrees on about boom shadow is that he's an idiot
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Every time I see someone earnestly say that Carver hates Hawke, I have to exercise such restraint to not scream.
Every day I get closer to writing a deep dive about him because that's my guy. He's so interesting. He feels so much. He tries so hard when talking to the other companions and some of the dynamics he has with them are so good. He can be so fucking funny and sweet and awkward. He so badly wants to be wanted and appreciated and to protect everyone he loves.
Carver Hawke, they could never make me hate you.
#da2#carver hawke#i may have stumbled across someone complaining about how mean carver is to hawke and the companions and i just... huh??#whattya mean?? first of all if you're upset about companions being jerks to each other then boy do i have bad news for you#about the other companions--if you want 'mean' then put anders merrill and fenris in a party together#hell if you wanna see 'mean' then look through aveline's companion dialogue--she straight up calls merrill stupid to her face#and secondly carver is not MEAN... the only companion he's hostile toward is anders and that makes sense#and don't get me started on carver and hawke he does NOT hate hawke even if he's a templar and at full rivalry#hawke can be the worst piece of shit to him. max out his rivalry. leave him behind where he becomes a templar.#just say the worst shit to him and he will never betray you. he will never agree to kill hawke for meredith. ever.#but reminder that a warrior/rogue hawke has an option to let circle bethany die when siding with the templars#JUST SAYING#one day y'all.... one day i'm gonna write it and then what? WHAT THEN??#also yes... I'm replaying da2 now. i'm still in act 1 so i have hawke siblings on the brain so...#apologies in advance for not shutting up about them
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I'll never forget how, during the release of s3 of Bridgerton and people talking about how poorly handled Kate and Anthony felt (as characters within the plot because certain writing choices made no sense), along with how some fans felt like they were being sidelined the responses were "Oh, it's not that deep" or "You're reading too much into things", followed with dismissal after dismissal (along with undertones of racism from a certain group, but for another time). Now, with this article (which was edited after the fact mind you) from Shondaland specifically Shonda's weird passive aggressiveness toward Jonathan, fan speculating them having issues with Jonathan and Simone, both of them making it clear how they want Kathony's story to continue even when some producers of the show were giving the opposite vibes....hmm. Doesn't seem like too much reading into the situation but I digress.
#bridgerton#kathony#anthony bridgerton#kate sharma#jonathan bailey#simone ashley#(i also better not see jonathan hate bc some of yall here are weird towards him)#like shondaland using bailey's success in wicked to not only promote their show (like they needed it)#but also being weirdly passive aggressive & downplaying his achievement by saying “okay yeah wicked was cool but remember his not so humble#beginnings in bridgerton“ which is weird as hell to say#even when simone won an award shondaland didn't say shit (like fans did but not shonda & co)#like don't actors usually get support from their other projects as well? like they usually receive more love#and of course it shouldn't be ignored how shondaland is riding on the heels of success but doing little to point out simone's or even give#recognition both things can be true at the same time#but this is the same company that forced a love triangle and dod poor media promotion for their first SA lead among other things#the same company that has received flack since the early days of grey's but i could go on
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JUST WHEN THE WERE STARTING TO GET ALONG AGAIN IT'S SO OVER I'M GONNA LOSE IT
#WORST DECISION EVER TO LIKE THIS SHIP THEY CAN NEVER GIVE ME A BREAK#*explotes them*#his episode made me think more about whatever they have going on tbh#i never expected them to actually acknowledge how idolized Matakara's view on Arajin was#also i kinda hope Arajin realizes that he also projects his own delusions towards Mahoro#not sure if it will happen tho😭😭😭#but I really liked that parallel I don't know why I didn't notice it earlier u_u#currently my opinion on ar*jin is neutral#i get why many people hate him more after this episode#but I want to wait and see how his character wraps up before saying anything but i don't dislike him#or maybe i just got used to his character partially because he reminds me of Ataru and I really like that guy#but yeah I think maybe in the end Mata and Ara will reconcile and become friends again...or maybe not who knows :3#bucchigiri?!#bucchigiri#arajin tomoshibi#matakara asamine#MaJin#MataJin#AraMata#anime#live kaii reaction#kaiicore#*les priva de derechos*
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I really hate when some danmei fans treat the main couple as infallible and completely morally correct when more often than not analyzing the way their morality grays helps you understand the main couple's characterizations and dynamics better. Take WWX and LWJ for example. Neither of them are in the complete moral right because no one in that book is. Society is nuanced. WWX was in the wrong for disregarding many of his responsibilities throughout the novel, but he was also in the right for rescuing the Wen. LWJ was in the right for defending WWX and LSZ, but he was in the wrong for blindly reaching for WWX and often antagonizing everyone else. You can't truly like or understand a character without acknowledging that they are flawed and in fact not in a moral pedestal within the book. You can't call WWX justified for breaking ties with JC without also acknowledging JC was justified in being upset with WWX. The main couples in these novels are not infallible and it's honestly extremely annoying to see some fans bash side characters for their dubious morality (cough cough Mu Qing, Jiang Cheng, Qi Rong, etc) while also putting their favorite main couple on an untouchable moral superiority.
#looking at tgcf and mdzs fans in particular#svsss fans you usually avoid this but it still ends up happening sometimes#honestly don't see a lot of this with meatbun fans but i don't really engage with that fandom a lot so idk#this is also specifically targeted towards that one hc fan i interacted with who hates qi rong for killing people#and called him unjustified#when their fave literally ALSO KILLS PEOPLE#AND OFTEN UNJUSTIFIEDLY#danmei#mxtx novels#tw discourse#tgcf#mdzs#svsss
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questioning sexuality is so exhausting
#(edit: sorry for the rant in the tags and i just. i want someone to talk to me)#i keep on doing it for no apparent reason#someone was talking about lust yesterday and i realised today that.#even tho id thought i don't experience it. i possibly do. but exclusively towards women.#i hate it here!#for a multitude of reasons i will never have a relationship with a woman but! i may be incapable of having a relationship with a man!#at some point in the last few months i have abruptly pivoted from definitely wanting marriage and kids to being ambivalent on marriage#and not wanting kids. that's such an outlier in my life that it might just be a mental health thing tho idk#but at the same time i. want to be loved.#i don't know what i want anymore and im tired of questioning myself#i definitely overthink it but idk how to stop it#and i hate hate hate how the moral obsessions have bee lately#this isn't entirely related but it kind of is#like Am i a terrible morally bankrupt person for having certain thoughts or is it just religious ocd go brrrr?? am i overthinking it?#i don't know. i don't know!#for a while labelling myself as arospec ace kinda calmed that down but. i don't know#i do't want to be attracted to women. i don't want to have to look away so often. i don't want any of that.#but i don't know how to stop it.#i don't even know if i'm attracted to men at all.#this is a cry for help and encouragement and prayers no matter what your views on these matters are#queer stuff tag#i nearly fessed up to my friend yesterday about same sex attraction and i might've except that it would have probably outed me as#the person who anonymously sent in a question several months ago about the side b movement to a church thing#ive only told one person at church about any of that sort of stuff and it was very vaguely worded#also see: this friend is the mother of the boy i?? i don't even know how i feel about him#i increasingly think it wasn't romantic at all. but i don't know#i would love any encouragement you got. anything at all.#i don't know how much this stuff is affected by the fact that i consider myself unloveable and think it highly unlikely any boy will ever#care for me#now im rambling. sorry
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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
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i would call my dad to apologise, but knowing him it would just hurt him unnecessarily to be reminded of that because he's not really good with bluntness which is what caused this whole thing and the other issue is that i know i will impulsively act like this many times in the future, so i guess the best thing i can do is continue to be as kind to him as i can be
#crying as i'm typing this :/#idk nino has every reason to act that way towards his dad but i literally had/have none so seeing that behaviour last night in that episode#displayed so plainly really made me hate myself. and my dad is the very opposite of donato my dad is actually the most like enzo#he's infinitely kind and caring but he's better with numbers than words and i always twist whatever he says to something#he absolutely didn't mean and sometimes i even do it knowingly. i know he didn't mean it but#when i get mean i don't have a pause button i just let it all out#and my mom is like that too so we don't really hurt each other when we do that#but my dad and my sister take this kind of thing super personally. and they just stay quiet about it while you're being a monster#so i don't really know. i've been thinking about this a lot this entire semester i just don't want him to get sick again#but then again i can't shake off the feeling that he's interpreting me being less sharp as pity#he's okay btw but the doctor wasn't sure about something a month ago so idk...#this year has been. terrible. all three of them back home aren't having a good time at all#and i literally process all of that as my own problems#needed to put this somewhere just ignore it#letters from stephanie*
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Some people have been saying that live action Sanji feels a little bit more soft and endearing than manga Sanji, but they can't pinpoint why because he does still feel like Sanji. Some people think it's just Taz's acting, and he does do a great job, but I don't think that's the main reason. Others think his flirting has been turned down a bit, but honestly it hasn't really? He still openly flirts with Nami when they first meet, and he still says things like "women are a mystery to be unraveled" and other goofy simp stuff. And his kindness like being willing to feed the hungry no matter what is obviously something that was always there (it's why Luffy chose him in the first place. Hell, in the manga he chooses Sanji as his cook before he ever actually tastes Sanji's cooking, simply because he sees Sanji feed Gin and realizes what kind of person Sanji is).
But there is a difference! And I've figured out what it is, because there IS one manga/anime Sanji trait that wasn't present in live action Sanji: his hatred of men.
Live action Sanji isn't a misandrist anymore 😳
#One piece#OPLA#OPLA spoilers#Obviously it was played for jokes he wasn't like actively cruel towards men and was kind to them too#Like feeding them if they were starving#And he obviously cared about his friends#He was misandrist is a silly cartoonish way#But it did highlight the way he treated women differently from men and made his flirting and simping come across as way more over the top#In comparison to how he behaved towards women#And I think it was a smart choice because English speaking audiences are especially sensitive to that sort of thing these days#I think the only other thing that gives him a slightly different vibe#is live action can't give him heart eyes or have him do the wiggling stuff lol#So his simping feels toned down even though technically he simps a similar amount as in canon#I do think it's funny how some fans like him better in live action because of this on tumblr dot com aka the OG man hating website#Like fans who are caught up understand WHY he's hostile towards men compared to women in canon (see: WCI)#but I don't mind them leaving it out in the live action#And it isn't like an integral key to who he is as a person/character#People who were already Sanji fans knew he was their problematic little meow meow#But it's nice that live action can showcase his kind and soft side a bit more#Like that stuff is already there in canon but he's a little more tsundere about it y'know? Lol
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/random but I want these two to somehow meet and Jerry gets bi-panic seeing his post-apocalypse self...... 🫣🫣🫣
context : they kinda adopted(?) hjer back and The fam immediately told hjer to go clean up and they sent forced jerry to assist him lol
j -*feets away for hjer* uh i just gonna...put the clothes here
hjer - hm *take off his shirt*
j-
j- 👀
#jerrycest#jerry smith#hermit jerry#i think their relationship would be interesting to explore........#hjer seeing himself before his life turn upside down and he don't know if he hate#pity. or even jealous jerry.#and jer would feels very awkward toward him because how jaded hjer has become but a little impress seeing himself kinda badass too?#//eh#rick and morty
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Good morning I'm up thinking about that forbidden beast again
#Eddie...#I need to rewatch his cutscenes to get a better grasp on him now that I know what he's been about this whole time#but something about his AC+R story modes got under my skin and into my brain#Eddies resentment of being a parasite attached to a person and fighting for two games over the right to control the body and make it his ow#just for it to start rotting away and starting the cycle of powerlessness over again making him easy to take advantage of#and ending with him fighting even more desperately to stay alive...#blurring the line between him and Zato further with remembering his feelings and memories and accepting them just as hes about to die-#hopefully that reads okay- again I just woke up and all that#but Eddies story made me like. weirdly emotional?#I really like the disconnect Eddie feels from Zatos body and how it contrasts with how people see both of them like this#I also think thats why Eddie is so bitter towards both Millia and Venom (especially Venom-)#to him they're probably the same as he is. and he hates them both for it because they're people that don't *have* to be#they have a choice and he doesn't. yet all three of them keep being drawn to each other.#yappin'#edit: WHAT REALLY FUCKS ME UP IS THAT EDDIE MIGHT BE JUST A THING ATTACHED TO ZATO POST RESURRECTIONNN#I haven't seen Eddie have much personality after Zato got resurrected other than being a little shadow goober#and thats a little Haunting??#you're telling me after all this Eddie i s just a thing attached to Zato? and Zatos the important one again? what the fuck
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Boom Shadow is just a crazy, ridiculous, dumb, stupid, loser and the rat ratatouille... but I love him :)
#don't care about me cursing him#boom!shadow#sonic boom#shadow the hedgehog#actually i have more names for him#don't see it as hate towards him for see
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I can't wait to learn more about Vegapunk Lilith. What is Stella's idea of the evil within himself? Does it have to do with his "sins" of creating the Mother Flame and studying the Void Century? Is evil his ambition and desire for peace that is ultimately too rash and short-sighted and leads to catastrophe? Because we know Lilith cares about her comrades. We know that she is helpful and pragmatic. We know she ISN'T defined by greed or violence. So how is she evil? Because I don't believe for a second that she doesn't somehow fit Stella's idea of evil in a way we haven't been shown yet. But I'm so eager to find out what that actually means.
#one piece#one piece spoilers#i guess?#is it a spoiler to say lilith hasn't done anything evil yet? idk#but yeah im so curious about Stella's morality bc he's such an interesting and nuanced character#very fun very morally gray and interestingly not quick to endorse or condemn just about anything#like he says on multiple occasions that he feels as if he doesn't have the necessary information to pass judgement on a situation#that to somebody else would probably be pretty cut and dry one way or the other#especially considering his insight#I'm willing to bet that he had the void century at least 90% figured out despite having maybe 15% of the story#but he both refused to share his speculation and also witheld any judgement in his broadcast#so we don't really know what he thinks it means to be good or to be evil#we know that evil is defiant towards good but will not divert their path just because good affirms it#we see this in Lilith's irritation at Shaka#but she also presses onward despite hating being told what to do by him#if Oda cooks with Lilith then the Vegapunks (especially Stella) will probably become some of my favorite characters#vegapunk#vegapunk lilith#vegapunk shaka#vegapunk stella
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I wish some people never had access to internet at all...
TW assault, TW r*pe
#this is one of the main reasons why I don't get into the fandom that much and just stay in my own personal bubble#I already have a bad relationship with gilturia and I just can't see those two together without having a bad taste in my mouth#despite the fact there's a lot good art with those two#and I know that not all gilturia shippers are like that#and I understand that most of them ship those two because they just look aesthetically pleasing and look good together but still...#I can't just look calmly at those two especially knowing their background and how Gilgamesh actually treats her#and honestly because of such moments sometimes I feel disgust towards Gil (obviously) but I also feel disgust towards myself#for liking such terrible character#and honestly I fear that someday because of such moments I would stop liking him or even start to hate him#but I don't want that because despite his negative traits he still is well written and very deep character that has a lot of layers to him#plus he helped me to get thought a lot of hardships especially after these past two years throughout which I got attached to him even more#and his quote that he said to Hakuno ''No matter what adversity you face there's no other way for you but forward''#cheered me up a lot of times#sorry for the rant#I just had this things building up in my chest and these tweets just made me kinda snap#my ramblings#personal
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Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.
Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.
That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.
The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.
Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.
Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.
#team fortress 2#tf2#that's it that's the only tags i am putting this in. maybe someday i will have the balls to do more but for now that's about it#while i have the chance - and since posts with more of my yapping in the tags don't pop in people's feeds much - i might as well ramble-#-about these guys here. self-inserts or not i'm projecting only half of my bullshit on each one of them. creativity 👍#backup is tall and pale and has sharp canines and more of a dull brown hair colour with tired grey eyes. no amount of babyface or soft-#-hands can really help a motherfucker when he's grimacing so much because he just Hates being around half the people on the team.#cleaner meanwhile is on the shorter side and has constantly flushed skin and brighter colours and whatnot. you can't see it because of the-#-mask most of the time but they do smile a lot more and have a more cheery disposition towards life and see the whole team as their friends!#backup transitioned fully (albeit not very legally lmao) and is scared shitless of not being seen as a man although the last time that ever-#-came up was years ago. he holds onto his last name as part of the heritage he loves and loathes at the same time - attached to his culture-#-and religion and bloodline while also resentful of his family and the regime he knows someone else on the team suffered under.#cleaner just kinda binds and calls it a day. he only does it to confuse the team because while he doesn't identify with being a girl he-#-loves the confused looks his epic gender reveal moment gets. they do not remember their family name or where they grew up or what even got-#-them to this kind of mental state. and he's chill with it he values the here and now way more than some dark edgy backstory.#backup despite trying to be an honest man is afraid of vulnerability as well. he stubbornly refuses to express love towards certain people-#-lest they feel disgusted and turn away. he's afraid of consequences afraid of losing the people he loves afraid of his ''interests'' being-#-what drives them away. it doesn't by the way and he just wasted time being a cold indecisive loser for several months lmao#cleaner wears a suit that hides all of them yes but they pretty much never lie. he is always his truest self and he can always just burn-#-people who don't like him enough to make it a problem. they are a lot more comfortable indulging in their interests - be they innocent-#-and juvenile or violent and dangerous. he is quite open with his affection and his fascinations that backup would rather keep secret.#i want to establish that these two can only exist in separate universes because they both have feelings towards the funny assistant lady-#-and the funny inventor guy (selfshipping for the winnn) and would fight over those two. cleaner would win by the way#it's also a really funny point of comparison. cleaner is objectively more fucked up than backup and still managed to be more normal about-#-their feelings and live as a healthier and happier person than that guy. comedic gold honestly#OKAY I'M DONE if you read up to here you get uhhh a cookie :-)
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SO... I was just thinking, let's say hypothetically.. mahiru guren & shinya weren't toxic ca16 was written by a less misogynist author then would you like mahigureshin as like poly ship? It just came in my head as much as I dislike how author wrote them esp mahirus character I still think in alternative setting it might work?? They are kind of catastrophic trio with very poetic themes & victim of fate kinda afterall.
honestly probably yeah. most powerful trio imagineable.
although i actually have no clue what mahiru's personality would be like were she not written by such an author. i think i've read some cool modern AUs in which i really liked her - kickass businesswoman that overworks herself trying to get her little sister out of a difficult situation while simulteanously juggling her relationship with her boyfriend and their shared trophy wife, i think that'd fit her well. "all you do is work :(" "you don't understand i'm doing this for us!!!111!1!1!!1!!!" type of stuff.
i will forever treasure that little snippet of her and shinya making fun of guren together, that was adorable. the way things should've been.
#don't cancel me for calling shinya a trophy wife it's funny ok#the girlboss‚ the babygirl‚ and the trophy wife. true romance.#i do wonder what mahiru's feelings regarding shinya are in vampire reign#like through catastrophe she felt mostly neutral or slightly disdainful towards him#but our guren-hating mika became yuu's demon and suddenly doesn't hate him at all anymore.#so maybe guren's thoughts rubbed off on her and she's fine with shinya now LMAO#but yeah those dynamics are very fun to think about#guren trying to comprehend how he pulled the two prettiest people alive (he didn't. they pulled him)#mahiru and shinya absolutely being in love but not romantically#i am forever a firm believer that women (guremahi) should give shinya little kisses on the forehead#they put him thru hell so now they're spoiling him#many tags. many tags#owari no seraph#seraph of the end#shinya hiiragi#guren ichinose#mahiru hiiragi#imagine seeing them out in public together i'd shit my pants#all hail the theoretical polyamorous catastrophic trio
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