#don't mind my delulu ass i'm just wishful thinking

[extremelybabygirl]

listen! WHAT IF! saintshin is gonna press their foreheads together like this when they finally make up?? THEN WHAT????

i'm not asking for a kiss or anything outrageous, just.. maybe? a forehead touch??? maybe?? please???? 🥺🤲

[sorryimananti-romantic]

its quite strange. im seeing you in my dreams. and i dont know whether to dread falling asleep and waking up in a fantasy where we're together or look forward to it. i quite enjoy spending time with you in the land of dreams, where youre just as infatuated with me as i am with you. part of me says the pang of sadness once i wake up and realise its all a trick of my mind, that you'd never feel the same, that ill never be the one you look at with that love gaze, that ill never be her, is worth those small moments of interaction. but it isnt real. itll never be real. why do i hold onto the hope of you and i, when i know perfectly well it will never come true? but... cant a girl dream? but why do i dream of something that is bound to make me yearn and cry and wish for more when i wake? let me have my moments. let me dream... but im hurting myself with these hopes.

aaand the bell rang so i couldnt continue 😞

okok but srsly i dreamt of him last night and idk if i need to get over him b4 this crush of mine goes too far or enjoy the dreams ☹

(for a hot moment this clown (me) thought you were talking about me and i was like:

ignore that ^

assuming you're that green flag dude anon?? or talking about a real dude (if you're not and you're talking about some kpop idol pls take your anti-delulu pills you're welcome) he's appearing in your dreams omgg 😭 (that's bc you're thinking about him too much esp when you're about to sleep)

(also i'm stuggling a lot here the T in me is saying talk to him and you'll hate him bc real non-fictional men ew problem solved) BUT i hope you're interacting with him? it's no use crushing on someone and not doing anything about it that's just making yourself miserable. just talk to him, if you continue to find him attractive after you get to know him a little maybe shoot your shot? if he likes you back, yay! if not, then that's your cue to let it be i guess (or fight for it but this isn't the fanfic world it's different here 😭 whatever feels right ig)

or you could continue to enjoy the dreams as long as you don't forget your anti-delulu pills-- crushing on someone from far away is far less disappointing ig but maybe that's just me and my weird ass self-defence mechanism that doesn't even allow me to crush on someone in peace 😭😭

but i'm here if you want to talk about it more! warning tho i only give realistic practical advice, i don't feed delulus😔

[monsamborabutterfly]

Only friends episode 6 thoughts:

1) this is the first ep the forcebook chemistry got to me. Mew and Top would be so cute if Top didn't give me the ick like that. It's not even the things he did. Just his arrogance that drives me nuts.

2) I actually do believe his feelings for mew are somewhat genuine

3) Boston and Nick!!! The thing is I still love them. It's the NeoMark chemistry driving me insane.

4) Boston and the daddy issues. I think he does have it in him to fall for Nick. I genuinely think he's getting there (🤡🤡🤡🤡🤫 just let me be delulu in peace)

But a child of divorce and a father who's obviously having issues with relationships because of that. And congratulating Boston for sleeping around?? Guess he really wants the approval of his daddy so getting serious with anyone isn't in the books (yet🤡🤡)

And for people who now say that's not an excuse. Maybe it's not but as a child who lived the whole thing it can have more of a lasting impression on who you are as a person and how you view relationships as a whole. So no it's not a justification for him being an ass sometimes but I get the issue overall I'd what I'm trying to say

5) I'm worried about Boston and Nick recording him and all that. I know Boston haters think he deserves it. But c'mon really?? This is such a personal and intimate thing and no one and by that I really mean no one deserves to be spied on in a situation like that. Not even Boston and not even when he was sleeping with his friends boyfriend. I know Nick was just too much in his damn head and for whatever reason thinks it was justified but I hope he's sorry. I don't even wanna think about the damage this could do even outside of their friend group.

6) drake popping in for like 5 seconds and dipping again. Also damn I didn't think he was the one who made the video

7) ray my sweet summer child. I love and adore you so much but please get therapy. I want you to get better so so bad. You deserve help

8) the whole episode I was thinking how much I miss sand and ray but damn now I kinda wish they wouldn't have met😭😭 (did I say I love angst???)

9) my sweet sapphics actually had a scene and weren't just there😭😭 I'm taking all the crumbs I can fucking get at this point don't mind me

Oh also honorable mention to the topmew scene at the end. It was a damn good scene. And holy shit I hate to admit it but I think they actually do have genuine feelings for each other. The way nee was calling top out was chef's kiss though and so well acted.

[colorful-white-ideas]

If u think about him like this and see him like that keep it to yourself instead of sell it to people especially when u know how jerks some assholes are in this fandom! I don't find him like this but I do think he has flaws in acting but I never post it publicly anywhere and just keep it to myself. Some things have to be private. U literally went dramatic few days ago cause u just got the word "groupie" wrong and your brain thought of LOVER. Why? Cause u hate Alida and u love referring any bad thing to Bill! You are nasty and thirsty for dramas. To me this is sick and disrespectful! Especially since that was a comment from a fan! A comment that noone knows anything about and then u made an asshole of yourself posting it here. Be honest what do u want here? Go have an acc for the Skarsgård u prefer more instead of saying u find Bill a whore here! Go! Leave! Like what Simon and Mortox did! Leave!

U don't need to share this anon on your acc as what u always do. Just read it and work on your behavior. Your words. Your mind. And learn to be chill instead of being dramatic always for nothing! I can be a jerk and say "yeah I slept with Bill" then OK go, make an ass out of yourself again and share it everywhere! Go go! I'm delulu. What I said is a lie. But u prefer to believe it. Why? Cause u only hate Alida! I don't like her either but I'm not a bitch like u! I don't sell opinions to fans cause I die to see Bill with anyone other than Alida! What his kids gonna think of their father if they read your bullshits here?! Especially since he has daughters?! Shitting on Alida wasn't enough for u so now you have to shit 10 times harder on Bill?! U were like this since always! Remember the time Bill announced that he's going to be a dad again, you posted sth and said "fuck u Bill"?! Do u remember?! Huh???? U were even throwing stones on him as a father! So no! Don't color yourself like you're good and act like you didn't say bad shits to him as a dad! U def hate him, his kids, and everything about him! You're like a wolf in sheep's costume! U said bullshits to him alot back in days and you've never changed. Get over it. He's not gonna sleep with u!

I know you're not going to post this anon cause people gonna know what an asshole u used to be! Just learn to be better! U said enough shits about him before! U threw enough stones on his poor kids. So no. You're not better than old haters. U were one of them. U are still one of them! U R nothing more than a sad Spanish jerk. Awwwww how sad 😔

HOW DARE YOU TO CALL ME SPANISH ?

that hurt :(

I'm sharing this because you told me several times not to and I dont know , maybe you were trying to apply some reverse psychology??

Finally , girl, if you feel that way , you can just stop reading me. Im not even using hashtags , im not selling or spreading anything beyond my followers. And if somehow you can't scape me please do yourself a favor and block me.

I won't fight you , you have made up your mind. I wish you Merry christmas :3

[cruzisded]

A Culmination of Life

i needed somewhere to put this. somewhere where i know it can be out in the universe but never really seen by the world. this is the place i come to when im met with so many difficult thoughts and even more conflicted emotions. a place i can truly let loose the words i do not have the courage to speak. and to let my emotions run rampant as i gather them all in a single - or several - thoughts on paper. a lot has occurred since i last posted on here. many life changes. both professional and personal. professionally speaking, i think i was ready for change at the time. but to be utterly transparent, with reflection, i think i was ready to move on from my past life. i think from a personal viewpoint, i knew changing my professional life would ultimately affect life outside of that. i enjoyed what i did for work before now. it was fulfilling and i truly enjoyed it. but the environment was not good for me. it hadn't been for a really long time. but i kept that job bc it was sustaining me. it was survival over wants or desires. looking back now, on my birthday mind you, i realize just how negatively that atmosphere affected my life. i lost bonds with people i hold dear to my heart. i fell down a dark hole and lived there for so long that i lost sight of myself. who i am. what i stand for. i had pride in my work and i had pride in my work ethic. but it seemed like for months thats all i had pride in. it's all i could manage. my mental health was greatly affected by the work atmosphere and i think being in that dark hole became just a comfort at that point. i became complacent. not out of the want to be complacent, but bc my soul had been trapped in that hole for so long i never truly saw a way out. i lost the girl who was everything to me, i watched us fade away like a campfire drifting into the night as its embers pop and crackle every now and again. it's been 6 months and my heart still feels like at any moment it could shatter into millions of pieces again. i've gone through deep and thorough therapy and psychiatry over these last 6 months and have found myself. i have been able to work through many of the emotional turmoils i harbored with this loss. and yet, i still have that tiny voice in the back of my head telling me that i would still break. i guess that means i truly did feel something. a feeling like no other. i don't hate her, i don't dislike her. hell i don't even care who she sees or who she dates. at the end of the day, i wish her happiness. even at the cost of my own, i know, dark and unhealthy. but i have always been told growing up, if you love something. let it go. there's another part to that, but for my delulu ass i'll refrain from finishing it. i'm not unhappy with my life, it's solitary for sure. but in truth, i think in the last 3 months i have felt more like myself than i have in years. of course i still feel the pain, i still mourn, and i still have flashbacks like its second nature. but with all of that, i've been able to move forward with my life. i've got a new job that i truly feel like is my niche. i'm in my own apartment again -- starting over -- but who cares. i'm finally at a place in my life where i can see a near future. where i can go out and do things for myself i wasn't able to do before. i get to come home and feel peace once again. that's not to say i don't experience chaos and confusion. but for the most part, i'm at peace with the life i have right now. i was able to go out and get a tattoo i have wanted ever since i saw a picture of it. i was able to rekindle a relationship with my parents after having a really bad falling out with them. i was able to leave a horrible boss and a toxic atmosphere and finally grow into someone i can be proud of. i've been learning so many new things and been given a lot of responsibility. i have a roof over my head and food to eat (when i eat lmaoooo). i have the best cat i could ever ask for and he never fails to show me he loves me. as much as i don't want to be 25 today, i have a lot to be thankful for now that i am.

[shiki-stars]

Sailor Moon - Thoughts (S01EP23-EP27)

01-12 . 13-22 . 23-27 . 28-46

spoilers! regarding| nephrite's downfall

I think I'll try to do make and post these daily... instead of finishing a whole season because then it ends up being a lot I have to talk about at once.

This one is mostly justs random comments about whatever.

Jan. 3

Is it just me or did they start amping up Rei's "aggressiveness"? Mainly getting very impatient and always trying to jump the gun with missions.

Usagi telling Naru to not have a crush on Nephrite anymore then immediately dips had me tweaking. Girl please, offer Naru more emotional support.

Usagi wishing upon a shooting star for Nephrite to "not be a bad guy" like GURL. Wish for your friend to wake up from being delulu and GET A GRIP.

"Nephtire, stop doing eveil deeds. Naru believes in you." NO?????? WRONG WAY TO GO ABOUT THIS???

"Sometimes, a girl can't stop loving, even if she knows better. She'll find a love she wants to believe in, no matter how painful it is. A girl always wants to believe that love conquers all." This would be such a good quote IF IT WASN'T TALKING ABOUT A 14 YEAR OLD AND THIS GROWN ASS MAN.

LET'S GO PLANT GIRLS FUCK HIM UPPPPP.

Funny green blood. Can't tell if that's censorship or his actual blood color. The thing is, after this scene I paused and went on a ramble about whether of not the Shitennou were humans or monsters. I'll just. I'll just show the screenshot but keep in mind everything I say was a scrunch of words that I was flushing out of my head.

"You're really mean, trying to interfere with two people in love!" EEUURURUGHGHE DON'T SAY THAT.

Rei and Ami each have their own catchphrases now!!! Rei for sure, but I can't tell if that's actually Ami's catchphrase or just... a sentence.

Nephrite's hand is as big as Naru's face do we not see the problem???

Have to say, I wish they would stop spoiling the next episode with the montage and obvious titles TwT. I have more problems with the montage than the titles because the titles make it easier to find specific episodes, but the montages just spoil. It's obvious once an episode starts, who is important to the story and whatnot, it's easy to tell who's going to become a sailor soldier, but they way they literally spoil it the episode before is just TT.

ALSO. I'm trying to figure out who's who for the color of the roses in the intro and there's two pinks??? (... Is it supposed to be Usagi and her... I accidentally spoiled myself heheh when searching up something about Usagi.)

Banana.

I didn't know the symbol for Jupiter was a "4" so I got real confused when I first saw this. Like Makoto being the fourth sailor soldier so she gets a four on her forehead, why didn't Ami and Rei get "2" and "3" respectively then LMAO.

What do you mean "good-hearted humans" didn't the guy in the last episode literally chat every arcade place?

Oops I reached max amount of pictures. It's a sign for me to SHUT THE FUCK UP. I ramble and talk about too much stuff that does not matter. Will definitely be changing the way I do these posts.

Last comment: Ami and Ryo are cute. I take back my comment about Ami being a lesbian because this is a genuine healthy relationship.

01-12 . 13-22 . 23-27 . 28-46

Beige Stars - Divder @/saradika-graphics Purple Hearts - Divider @/cafekitsune Purple Heart Fairy Lights - Divider @/benkeibear

[s-wave-entertainment]

You're my friend now, we're buddies now :)

Hey, a lot of unneeded character psychoanalysis is exactly what I exist for and these silly little robots have been the source of my serotonin for like a good 8 months now HAHA

I'm surprised more people don't think of them as sisters tbh? I understand that a lot of people like to ship them (any Jessa shippers on my page absolutely no shade, you do you bestie <3) but to me it's a very familial bond. Like, Tessa said herself that she's "only ever ever yakked to robots," which has lead me to two conclusions:

A) Tessa was homeschooled and Literally had no human friends because she Never Got Out Of The Manor, and

B) The drones were literally the only people she knew how to talk to, how to confide in.

Now we all know that the Elder Elliots™️ Sucked Ass (though there's apparently evidence to suggest that James sucked slightly less) but we know at the very least Tessa was straight up scared of her mother - with decent reason, because she fucking CHAINS HER UP IN HER ROOM for minor grievances (SHE'S LITERALLY YOUR KID WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE CAN'T TAKE HER FRIENDS INTO THE BALLROOM WHILE IT'S ALL BEING SET UP-). And when your parents suck but at least you constantly have three people around you like All The Time, my brain perceives this as "Ah, Tessa had a sibling relationship with all four of them."

And yes, I did say four. Tessa loved Cyn once, but we're talking about Tessa and J rn. I'll get to Cyn's whole thing later.

What I'm trying to say here is that Tessa actively feared at least one parent, and shit hit the fan all the time. Who do you talk to when you can't talk to your parents and shit hits the fan? Your siblings (if you have them). So in my little brain, they were sisters. ...And I've got a little more evidence, if I may present to the court:

Your honor, what we have here is the drawing from Ep. 5 that N pulled out of the dog encyclopedia as the quote "Us as lizards. J drew herself." left his mouth.

Lemme harken on that last line. "J drew herself."

Do you see what's wrong with this picture, good jury? That's right - take a good look at J. She isn't a drone in this drawing. She's human.

Now this might very well be just a silly gag from Liam, but me and my delulu, we gotta use this to get a good look at J. Everyone else drew themself as a lizard. J drew herself as human. In my personal opinion, I gotta admit - I think she wished she was one.

HEAR ME OUT, hear me out - her parents, namely Louisa, looked down on her because she's a drone. A scrapped drone, at that. She was insulted, scoffed at, and all around held in low regard. I mean, need I remind the court of Louisa's quote "We will not entertain your dumpster pets."

She doesn't see them as anything more than tools in her own possession, pets under Tessa's. And she said they specifically wouldn't "entertain" them. Call me crazy, but I think that implies TESSA was more than welcome to be "entertained" that night (initially, anyway-), but her drones? Hard no. And J, hates this!

She cares,,, So Deeply for her. This is a personal headcanon, but in my mind she was found by Tessa first - hence their bond, since she does seem closest to J. And not being allowed to do things with her - on top of being downright hated - may have made J wish that she could be human. That way, no one would mind if she was always around when Tessa was. She could be there for her all the time - whenever she needed her, not just when she was "allowed" to be about. Maybe she'd even be able to stand up for her - to keep her from being chained up and hurt so often. Too true that Louisa orders drone decommissioning for the simplest of offenses, but a human isn't so easily killed. And certainly then, if she lived as Tessa did, maybe her words would hold more gravity. And maybe she could really truly help her.

Anyway all this to say I KNOW J has a heart, I know she has one. It isn't so easily shown, like N's is, but it's in there. If for no one else, than for Tessa. And the second she realizes that Tessa is really gone, we may finally see that heart again. Ablaze with vengeance, yes, but it would give her what she's been missing: a good, solid character. Something we need to root for her.

Come on Liam, you brought her back for a reason, let me see her for who she really is-

Talk of Murder Drones Ep. 7 for new watchers if you find yourself on my page!!

Alrighty Tumblr user kit-kat-jo, your wish is my command.

You're exactly right - the only thing I think could PROPERLY redeem J is the realization that she was wrong and she has been duped, that that is not her Tessa; that's not the girl she thinks she loves. And J does love Tessa, I will die on this hill. The only person we've ever seen J soften around is Tessa back at the mansion - Tessa is the ONLY PERSON that we've ever seen J look concerned about. And that's totally valid - the only reason J was even in the mansion (the way we saw her anyway) is because Tessa saved her. She was marked for disassembly; whatever last strike she could have had was already done. And we all already know any drone with a "marked for disassembly" band is one that Tessa saved from the scrapyard.

If J realizes that this isn't her (it would be even better if she realized that she's the one who killed her), that it isn't the company she's been serving and it never has been, then JUST MAYBE we'll see that spark - the 180 we need to finally root for her as a character. Now knowing the truth, she'll reject the Solver and her old ways in hopes of blowing the bastard to smithereens - and finally avenging her fallen sister, whom she hadn't realized she'd lost.

And I do genuinely hope I get to see that for her. I WANT to like J, I WANT to want to see her succeed, but right now? She has no character. And I'm sorry to say it (no I'm not), but literally all J has done for the series is antagonize N, antagonize Uzi, become Solver Lite™️, Die, and serve as a minor plot device via the arrival of the ship that N will likely hijack in episode 8 since he now has the keys; and serve as a teeny bit of comic relief via Equity Partnership. She is a Literal Corporate Drone, and while that's hilarious, it has little to no effect on my feelings for her as a character (or lack thereof).

I beg and I pray that J will realize the truth one way or another, and we finally get to see her for who she could be. We know she cared about Tessa, there's a fucked up little heart in there somewhere. And that's not even an edgy teen hyperbole a joke, y'all remember episode 2.

Anyway. Yeah. I really don't like J right now but if Episode 8 finally lets J realize all that's happened, all that she's done and been forced to do, that will likely change in a... Heartbeat-

Okay sorry I'm done-

[nightswithkookmin]

JIKOOK AND THEIR SHENANIGANS-pt1

Disclaimer:

This is my opinion and perspective of Jikook. I do not intend nor imply malice by my choice of words or by my interpretations of BTS' contents. Nor do I intend to be disrespectful of any member herein mentioned.

Do not take my words out of context in furtherance of your own agenda. You are the author of your own intentions and interpretations. If you do hold yourself accountable first.

PREFACE

I am done with with Jikook. Lol

I swear to God by the time they officially come out as a couple, if they ever do, I'm going to be left with severe PTSD.

Pray for me.

A lot has happened with Jikook these past few weeks. A devastating lot. Everything was going great and smooth and boom- we were hit with yet another anomaly in their dynamics. It was usual given us most of the things that had happened were entirely new to their dynamics yet not at all surprising in the grand scheme of things simply because unpredictability is Jikook's schtik and as I've come to terms with, part of their dynamics- you'll get used to it if you are new. Welcome to the club. Lol

I have shared snippets of my thoughts here and there on this whole development as and when it unfolded and said I wasn't going to deliver a comprehensive commentary until later so here it is- grab a glass of wine or coffee. It's gonna be long. Bless.

WHY I WAS HOLDING BACK

Contrary to what some people say and assume about me, I don't pull my opinions on Jikook from my ass- a dollar to the jar. Lol. I don't base my perspective on Jikook's relationship and dynamics on puff and nada. Where is the fun in that? I may be delusional about somethings but... Anywho.

I have said time and again how when it comes to Jikook moments there's always context and subtexts we are missing- it's a challenge trying to fill in the gaps. Probably part of the reason I'm obsessed with their dynamics. Lol.

Most of the theories I share with you on here are based on my observations of Jikooks interactions over a period of time. My objective has always been to try and understand the motivations (context) behind their moments and interactions, some of which I find fit a pattern while others- I never want to tackle or even think about without several pain killers and depressants until years later when a piece of content is released to provide better insights into their dynamics.

Jimin's birthday is one such moment for me. While I understood and even predicted JM's use of 5/8 in May this year was going to be a substitute for May 13 because I felt Jikook were not in a good place, were under heavy scrutiny in SK within that time period- starting with that March 30th VLive which I believe had led to a ban on Jikook using the platform on their own(especially Jimin- JK was already under ban but we will get into it later) given as BTS's content had changed drastically with heavy VLive supervision and the pg 13 contents they were made to make post that JM's VLive; then there was rumors of Dispatch's alleged conflict with BigHit, BigHit's IPO, Jungkook's Itaewon scandal- which of course were all confirmed later on that month, I felt the prospect wasn't looking good for Jikook to Jikook as wildly and as openly as they did.

Now you all know about my wild assumption about JM taking space out of their relationship due to JK coming on strong around that time so I'll spare the details.

Contrastingly, post BigHit's IPO, post Soop since Stay Gold era I felt things were looking great for Jikook. They were back to Jikooking. I felt they weren't being monitored as much by their bandmates and had a new found freedom within BigHit to do their own things as it appeared BigHit had begun 'managing' and presenting them as a brand- which I have written dissertations upon dissertations on so I won't get into.

JK and JM had started their online flirty banter thingy, even Dispatch seemed good with Bighit posting BTS official photos etc. Jimin too posted for JK on his birthday, JK came out on social media to gear up for JM's birthday and then puff- ashes. We hit a wall.

Now I know some people are speculating there was too much attention on Jikook within this time frame which is why JK didn't post- uhhmm, I don't buy it that view. There's always attention on Jikook. It's usually the negative attention like around March-June that holds them back from Jikooking. In opinion. I wouldn't call the attention they are or were getting within that time period negative.

Then there were some who speculated JK wasn't going to post because he hadn't posted for any of the members since Jin's birthday last year which again I didn't buy into. Jk is fearless and doesn't shy aware from making bold expressions of his love for Jimin. Him posting for Jimin would have been a bold move but nothing exactly new.

We've seen his GCFs. Enough said.

Personally, I felt he had showed up on social media a few days to JM's birthday to promote his music but to also prepare the grounds for when he posts on Jimin's birthday.

I genuinely felt he was gonna 'out' Jimin with that post and have people raising all kinds of brows like they did with GCF Tokyo, Saipan and Helsinki. Lol

Why did I think he was going to do this?

DECEMBER 4TH 2019

Jin's birthday. Now I have given y'all the back ground to this timeline and so I will just hit the highlights- Rosebowl, New Jersey VLive, JK getting drunk on his Jun VLive which I felt led to a ban on him from making solo live on VApp since 2019 to date- his recent Solo live was on YouTube mind you.

Prior to this I felt he and JM had earned a ban from making a VLive together until their 2020 VLive which was heavily monitored as I have speculated in past posts- again this is just my opinion.

JK, I felt, was being 'reckless' within this period. He was making bold moves and pushing the boundaries of his relationship with Jimin and even teasing the gates of the glass closet they are in. It certainly didn't help that the You too movement in S.K and the whole Idol sex abuse scandals in Kpop was on going as I've mentioned before-which had led to August's issues. Again you know my theory on the whole tattoo girl scandal so skipping.

October we had the whole cancel Jikook hashtag trending after Jikook's performance of I still want you and the whole you are me, I am you schtick.

In all of this I felt Jikook were fine.

November is when I noticed Jikook having 'issues' in their relationship (rolling my eyes at Silver) lol. Now again I won't go into all of that but you can check the real time contents/ behind scenes content on BTS around the time period and draw your own conclusions on that.

Then came the December ups and downs, JM flinching and dropping his face when JK went to sit by him in Jin's VLive- JK's awkwardness around Jimim. Now I know some people interpret this Live as that they were fighting? I won't call it fight fight perse. Lol. Issues, perhaps?Just seemed to me JM wanted to keep a low profile because again they were under heavy public scrutiny around the time which was what I feel was causing RM to keep an eye on them throughout that period- by keeping an eye on them I mean he was invoking the spirit of Jesus between them Pentecostal style. Bless him.

But seems JK wasn't having none of that, clearly. Lmho. There were already alot of restrictions on him since June in the way he used social media(Vapp) he and JM were not allowed to VLive together, he couldn't solo Vlive no more and now he couldn't even sit right with his man- I approve of the frying pans Jk. I APPROVE. Lol.

All this is my opinion of course.

But I think that is what he meant when he kept saying it's been a while he did a solo live and didn't even know how to do one anymore in his recent YouTube live- Jk can be passive aggressive in that way but we will get into that YouTube live in a bit. Hang in there.

So with all this going on I felt I understood him when he missed Jin's birthday on Twitter. Felt like a silent protest to me. But then again I thought perhaps it was just an impulsive act on his part.

Then he missed Tae's Birthday too and I thought hold on- this man is up to something. He was gonna a statement with that in retaliation to all the ban and sanctions and interferences with his personal life.

I was just following this whole drama with anxious glee towards a big reveal and then- cricket's ass ass deadass. Chilee. This man is cruel! Lol. I'm gonna need therapy to process this one on god! Lol JK!

My Right brain said perhaps, others had been right after all and he hadn't done all of that missed birthdays on purpose at all but had only acted impulsively in the heat of the moment given everything that had been going on with the group in around Jin's birthday- Mama 2019, we all know what had happened.

I felt perhaps, the moment he missed Jin's then he had to miss everyone's because if he wished any other person a happy birthday people were going to ask questions. People were going to assume he hated whoever he didn't wish a happy birthday.

But then my left brain- the crazy delulu side, also thought otherwise. I had a funny feeling that JK really intended to post only for Jimin on his birthday since he had been gearing up for it and that the only reason he wouldn't go through with it was if JM had asked him not to.

Why would JM do that? Because he enjoys the glass closet- he loves to flex his bond with JK, tease their relationship, claim his man, he wants people to know JK is his man because he is happy with him and proud of the man that he is but that doesn't mean he is ready to come out as LGBTQ plus. In my opinion.

JK I feel was done hiding the moment he posted GCF in Saipan- he gets right with us. Bless him.

JK often weaponizes their 'secret' against Jimin and hold's it over his head sometimes- so often when Jimin is on his Kumbaya agenda with the group taking their sides on things relating to their relationship JK switches on him and tries to expose Jimin- if you're just gonna help them burn us, I'm just gonna blow the whole operation out in the open and we are all going down. Chilee!

God, I felt Jk was going to expose Jikook for real! 🤣 Don't mess with JK and his Jimin- even Jimin himself gets burns sometimes.

Remember when JK threatened to expose a picture of himself with a hickey if JM didn't stay and do a VLive with him? Remember that? JK scares me for real when he is on his Jikook agenda! Lol

I felt he knew exactly what he was doing just as he knew exactly what he was doing with Saipan and editing of Helsinki. He just reiterated it in his recent live- which we will get into soon. He pointed out how he had gone to ask the members to describe the feelings they wanted to express through the MV he directed.

He admitted yet again in that live how he expresses his feelings, HIS FEELINGS, through his art and music- for all those who keep saying you can't tell JK loves JM just because he doesn't do the things JM does. Lmho.

And so I was heavily confused by these two conflicting theories in my brain. Which is why I kept saying I didn't want to jump into conclusions, that I was going to need more content yadda yadda yadda.

Which brings me to my resolution for JM's birthday saga.

POST JIMIN'S BIRTHDAY

Jimin enjoys been treated special. It's part of his love language. Jk has always treated him like he is special to him. And I know people claim it's just a birthday post- sure. But I understand also that Jimin doesn't Joke with his birthday. His father doesn't Joke with his birthday and clearly neither does JK- given as even before they all started the exchanging of gifts culture that he was giving presents to JM and JM alone within the group.

Besides, he's said he reads the members birthday messages to him on social media and have gone ahead to read some of them on his birthday Vlives in the past. So I can't say JK not posting was nothing.

My resolution was simple. I was going to examine their interactions post Jimin's birthday to see if their dynamics had flipped to see if JK not posting for JM's birthday had in anyway affected their relationship.

If JM's birthday meant something to him. Jk was going to make it up to him- openly. Deadass but in my opinion. Lol.

That's one aspect of Jikook's dynamics you can always count on- hopefully. Lol.

They have a way of reassuring eachother of their love and affection. And I don't know what happened to put the fear of God in both of them but lord are they both scared of pissing the other off! Jesus! Not sure if it's the whippery but damn- they are both crazy for that.

For instance, take JinMin's VLive right before the New Jersey Vlive. JM posted immediately after their live had ended to say he is sorry and loves JK on Twitter. And y'all saw him when JK panned to him on the bed? I've never seen a man so terrified of another man in my entire shipping life- Manila must have put the fear of JK in him, which THANK GOD! lol. Jimin plays too much. Lmho.

Never knew a hyung needed permission from a dongsaeng to leave a room until that day. Chileee! Jin had pulled a prank on JK too but I didn't see him wetting his pants and blowing kithes to JK- come at me with Jinkook is real, see what happens. Lol

Then GCF in Tokyo! I know to some it seemed like a random act of confession on JK's part but boy did he have motivation! He don stressed JM out to the ends of the world with those weird ass rumors (again not gonna mention it because it's very controversial 'saesangs' nature) if you know good for you but chilee you didn't hear it here. Lol

Then there was that whole photoshoot and JM looking like he wanted to kill JK lol right around August 2017. Which I have discussed in one of my blog posts. I think it's in a lot of jeonlous. I'll link it later- if I find it.

Then the almighty 2019 Tattoo Girl scandal, I'm not talking about the August scandal. I'm talking about the one on JM's birthday last year which launched the severe 'I am sorry' hashtags in JK's post on JM's birthday. In my opinion definitely.

The Tattoo girl's shop had wanted until Jimin's birthday, almost a month after the incident, to release a statement which blew up the incident again and almost overshadowed JM's birthday.

Chilee, the delulu in me felt that was intentional. They just wanted to hurt JK by ruining his man's birthday for him- never let him forget. Lol. These evil masterminds. Chilee!

In my opinion. Please.

My point is, JM and JK do make out in efforts to fix their relationship. And usually, I find whoever is in the wrong takes the most initiatives- not to say all the GCFs was because of a fight. Personally I take Saipan and Helsinki more seriously than Tokyo. Just saying.

And of course we all saw JM fly all the way from Paris on JK's birthday- talk of grand gestures and extending Olive branches. Chilee, I'm single!

I was going to wait till I could see who was reassuring who after JM's birthday to see who was in the 'wrong' know what I mean? Like who is putting in more effort to let us know they are a thing?

After their March/May shenanigans that was JK with the thirst traps and shit on Weverse, which brought JM around and he started opening up taking initiatives of his own like in the Dynamite MV reaction VLive.

Afterwards it all seemed pretty mutual to me and they were vibing. Jikook was a Vibe. Sigh.

THE PHOTOSHOOT SAGA

Now I know some people assert they don't see the 'tensions' in that behind the scenes photoshoot but we would have to agree to disagree on that because I saw that as tension between Jikook as I explained in my last post.

Jk walked right past and around Jimin without a word- chileee. JM was 'extroverted' with everyone but Jk- chilee chileee. This is weird as fuck. Lmho.

Prior to this shoot I had my eyes on Tae, RM Jk due to the Twitter war that I felt was going on between them in the days leading up to the concert. If they had anything to do with JK not posting on JM's birthday it was gonna leave trails.

Jk loves everyone but fuck with his relationship with his man and you're- poor Namjoon. Lol.

I refrained from discussing the photoshoot video or conceptualizing a theory around it because for the love of me I couldn't tell who was mad at who in that footage.

They all seemed equally mad to me. Jk had his usual don't fuck with my man mood on with that glare he gave RM causing RM to back away from JM and that attitude he gave Jin right after- which I have already speculated on in my last post.

The stare down contest between him and JM was equally nerve wracking and reminded me of that interview stare down contest between Jikook around Manila.

And I know I mentioned the 'elite' squad backing up Jimin in that moment. Chilee, I was too tired to explain that term because I had been writing for a whole day nonstop but that is the term I give to RM, Hobi, Jin as the hyungs/ elders who enable JM's shenanigans most often in the group.

JK usually pans them down when he and JM are going at it.

I feel Tae, JK, Suga are the ones that stay on JM's neck and calls his bull the most out of all the boys- Y'all don't wanna know what I call them. Lol. Perhaps, I should call them Silver? Chilee, girl don stayed my neck, put the fear of Moses in me! Lol

It felt as if, whatever the problem was, they both had an interest at stake in that moment in my opinion and they were battling it out. Besides, 5 days had gone by and for the love of me I had no idea why that mood was still persisting especially if it had anything to do with Jimin's birthday.

But I understand JM had been away with his family after the concert and had spent his birthday with his family so perhaps they couldn't resolve things within that time period. And JK it seemed had also thrown himself into work from what he said on his YouTube Live, filming and directing and shit- good for him. JM's wedding suit won't buy itself. Lol

So now the Jikook Solo lives.

JIKOOK SOLO LIVES

Now y'all know I was waiting for this one. I told y'all I was waiting to see how BTS interacted with the VApp post Soop. Y'all know my conspiracy theory on this- the whole Jikook were banned from using it, JK was banned after his last VLive in June last year and how JM was banned in March this year after JK intercepted Jin's call and asked him on a date and said the whole I love you kithes thingy- they are trouble.

Then I talked about how JK had been trying to rebel in retaliation, the whole team up with Tae to expose BigHit on Weverse after their live.

I don't think much has changed in that regard. He still didn't do his Live on the VApp and through out his YouTube live he kept hinting at how BigHit had sabotaged his passion- he claimed he had lost his passion for GCF( at least that's how I took it) and that GCF felt more like work than something he did out of passion.

He threw jabs here and there at BigHit complaining about how he didn't even know how to do them Live logs anymore because it had been a while he did them- the lies Jeon Jungkook ne spilling! You was on a live with RM not too long ago what do you mean it's been long! *smirk.

Jimin did the same thing too but in a more subtle way I feel. He kept saying how he didn't know his way around the app, how the staff had set it up for him and JK said the same thing-but more aggressively. Lol.

It seems JK was just going to turn on the Live, keep it business and yeet himself out of there- just like people want him to do(to be professional and not expose his relationship- chileee, JK is that too much to ask? Sigh.

JK is really passive aggressive like the Silver Squad- see what I did there? Lol. Tae and Suga have taught him well. It's that control thingy, I feel. He hates it. He hates when he is controlled by anyone- except Jimin apparently.

He really enjoys and wants the freedom to do what he wants- rather dead than cool. Chilee! It's how he was raised I believe. He is a very independent free spirited individual, I keep saying.

All that, "it's awkward' 'it's been awhile I did this' yea he ain't slick. *smirk.

Another interesting thing I noticed is how both him and JM tried to keep the other's name out of their mouths- well Jimin tried. Dude couldn't help himself bless him.

I just think they have been cautioned to keep a really low profile on the app especially in regards to how they use the app, what they share on the app- no eye fucking, no weird tensions staring into eachother's souls, no I love you's in the background and certainly NO BONERS!

All in all, my impression of those two Lives was that- Jimin had baited BigHit when he posted that 'see you soon on VApp.' In my opinion.

I think he did that to force BigHit's hands. Jk did the same with his 'I can't do live logs on my own now' statement.

Jimin had put BigHit in a tight corner when he read that 'I miss Jungkook' comment. And the way he kept it pushing afterwards- the next day BigHit was like, y'all this is Simba. Hair slicked back and all. Take him. Lol.

I keep saying the one thing BigHit is scared of is a scandal. They really don't want people asking certain questions that's going to make them look bad especially towards their artists- in my opinion. BigHit please it's my opinion. Let the records show. Lol.

And as I keep saying, BTS and even Jikook have a way of weaponizing their social media Influence against BigHit- that nearly 9 million viewers Jimin read out on his VLive certainly gave BigHit a push to call out JK. Lol.

Personally, I was curious as I said earlier as to how that VLive was going to be live. Whether it was going to be monitored heavily like their lives were after the March 30th incident.

I was curious to see if he would appear on YouTube or VApp. As it stands, it seems whatever ban was placed on JM from having Solo Lives on the App has been lifted

And it seems he was fighting for his man too in the most kumbaya way possible- Jimin! Lolololol. He is hilarious. Bless him

I just hope JK doesn't call in on JM's future VLives again to ask him on a date- again cos damn that would chaotic. Lol.

It's crazy to me how people still look at JK and ask if he loves JM at all- damn if he isn't carrying their relationship on his back!

It seems for now he still isn't allowed a solo VLive on the App and from the Way he kept saying he couldn't do a log alone it seems he is pushing to have that freedom to have a VLive with JM again- I don't know. I might be delulu. Lol

As to whether JK was the wrong party for not posting on JM's birthday I still don't know. Would have to observe their interactions a bit more.

So far from their lives the only one who was making efforts to feed us was Jimin with the whole 10/13 Mickey Mouse thingy which we all know is reference to Jikook.

If my hypothesis is right, JM would be coming out here with heart eyes, clinging to JK, making all the efforts while JK has the mood he had during the On era again- acting like he not whipped but he whipped- bless him.

Sigh.

All that being said, this is just my opinion. I'm just sharing my thoughts and observations. I am not calling anyone to action. I am not instructing anyone on what to do with my opinion, to hate on BigHit, or any of the members mentioned in here.

If you are not an adult, and can't reason like an adult do not sit at the adult table. Immaturity is not a bar to freedom of expression.

CONCLUSION

When it comes to Jikook, I always feel JK has put in so much effort into his relationship with Jimin to squander all that effort over something as silly as a birthday post.

Jikook have both worked through a lot, come a long way in their love journey to let petty issues undo all the efforts they've both put into eachother.

If JM's birthday is an issue for JM, JK would have made it right by now. All it takes it one simple post to fix it. And he has taken much bolder steps in the past to chicken out now.

And if Jimin is the one holding JK then- dude better prepare another Paris trip to placate his man because JK about to pout him to death. Lol.

As I said I have a feeling things are good between them now. I just want to see more of their interactions.

Keep supporting Jikook.

Signed,

GOLDY

[dazaithefirst]

AtsuLucy & AtsuKyou

Disclaimer:

I do not hate any of the characters, except Fukuchi Ochi, and I respect every ship BSD has. If I could marry every single one of 'em, I would. This is a post of my opinions about AtsuLucy and AtsuKyou. Also, there are manga spoilers here so I hope you wouldn't mind. I hope I won't get canceled here like how I got in Facebook because I ship AtsuLucy and not AtsuKyou/Shin Soukoku. As I've said earlier, I respect all the goddamn ships and I just want somebody to here my opinions or I just want to simply say it here. If I've said a wrong thing, please notify me. Thank you and take your time reading it!

I am a big AtsuLucy shipper. To be honest, I like how they look out for each other. Here are some of my insights and why do I ship them:

They experienced the same type of abuse (not that I wanted to be abused lol) so there might be times that only the two of them can know what's this and that (okay, is head canons alrighty? I hope so);

Atsushi is a good guy. In fact, he is a cute adorable fluffy little angel but we all know that he doesn't like his enemies like the Port Mafia and The Guild. But when they defeated Lucy's Anne of Abyssal Red, he felt sorry and said that he understands what she feels;

The way Atsushi sympathizes with her despite knowing just a part of her past, I love it. I need more of it. It makes my heart flutter;

Also, the way he approached Lucy after losing to him, is so cute, awkward and soft all in one. Imagine your enemy asking if they can do anything for you, damn Lucy is one lucky girl;

Manga Spoiler, when the ADA was accused of being the nation's terrorist, Lucy made a rallied outside the government just to say that "Atsushi is not evil" and "The Detective Agency is innocent", oh how I wished she worked in the ADA even as a part time (it was Ango who spilled that Lucy did it and maybe the latter didn't expect that);

Atsushi was certain that he saw Lucy after the Three Way War and said that he hopes Lucy isn't teaming up with the criminal organizations (Port Mafia's one of the organizations I guess) to take revenge on them. And please, notice how Atsushi was straight looking at the paper he was holding and then BAM! he saw Lucy, I mean if it's the tiger's ability then otay, I'm not gonna be delulu anymore *sniffs*;

Lucy gave Atsushi the parachute she was saving for her own escape. She let him escape Moby Dick through her ability and Atsushi was worried about her safety for she's gonna be trapped there. He even promised to save her there and he was going to went he infiltrated Moby Dick but sadly, Shin Soukoku suddenly sailed so even I have forgotten that Atsushi promised that he was going to save Lucy. It was funny for me when they got a chance to have a little casual talk when they've retrieved Kyouka's parents' documents;

Manga Spoiler, lastly, Lucy was a great asset when AtsuKyou are heading next to the Sky Casino, where Sigma is. After some events happened in the Sky Casino, Sigma fell on the sky and Atsushi jumps out of the Sky Casino and catches him but he eventually let go of Atsushi. Nathaniel's ability hits Atsushi's tail, which is his support, and he was knocked out. Then my girl Lucy saw it and jumps off the Sky Casino too (like it wouldn't cost her life), she reached out for Atsushi's hand and then voila! Welcome to Anne's room;

Another one is Lucy calls Atsushi by the name "Toraneko" which means tabby cat like how Akutagaw calls Atsushi "jinko." And then I just realized that Kyouka never called Atsushi's name or maybe it's just me?

Anyways, I am itching for Bungou Stray Dogs Season 4 ackk!!

Yes. I did shipped AtsuKyou at the beginning of the series. Okay, lemme just share some of my insights about this ship:

I shipped them when I literally thought she was 16 but it turned out that she's 14. It's the first red flag for me. I know that Atsushi is a baby but Kyouka is literally a minor.

At first I thought it's was fine 'cause they only have 4 years of gap;

But had anyone never thought that Kyouka's behavior towards Atsushi is like Akutagawa's behavior towards Dazai;

Remember that one scene in season 2 where Atsushi was finally caught by The Guild and Kyouka just stood there crying and just said, "Why? Why did you show me the light? Why did you give me hope? Goodbye. Please don't give me anymore light."

Okay, I admit. That was very pathetic. But as I think about it, she had trauma and was literally abused for three years or so, so I really can't blame her. Kyouka was told that she is more suited in the dark and all she knew that time is that she killed her parents with her ability. What a sad life, bub;

When I've read the manga, I've read it after season 2 'cause I was growing impatient for season 3, there were so many changes to the anime like the second picture of AtsuKyou up there. Atsushi was supposed to land on Kyouka's shoulders and not in her lap;

The scene where Atsushi asked Kyouka how's the bathwater was so cute. They looked like a couple to me and it just reminded me that I'm gonna be single forever;

And when Kyouka passed the entrance exam, I was so happy (of course who wouldn't). I dunno why but I saw a platonic relationship in my laptop's screen. (Their "Welcome home", "I'm home" of them looks like they're a married couple tho). But when Kunikida scolded the both of them, I saw siblings. ISTG THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY EYES!

To be straight to the point, I think she's either unhealthy attached to Atsushi because he showed her light or she's just overprotective of him (seriously, a 14 y.o girl protecting a 18 y.o baby? otay).

Kyouka is one the characters with a great character development. Some say her character is boring and I can't blame y'all 'cause she have a lil bit of Sasuke's aura, like that one quiet kid sitting beside the window with the face saying that her clan was murded (Kurapika is now drowning in an indescribable emptiness) but Kyouka has a visible soft side so she cute, otay? Tho I wonder where did she learn to drove that car on Dead Apple at the age of 14 'cause my 14 y.o ass can't even step on the gas and brake without shaking in fear. Long story short, despite everything happening on BSD, I'm still a AtsuLucy shipper. I'm still rooting for Shin Soukoku, but AtsuLucy is my heaven.