#don't mind me I've just been listening to this on a loop all day

[agreeeeeeeeeee]

hiii <33

first i want to say that i absolutely ADORE your page on here, your writing is just wow, perfection!! i really liked your sirius story (even tho i strayed off a bit and started liking rabastan too ahahahah-) it's amazing omg

and i was wondering would you be up for writing for barty? anything with him honestly lol, but if you don't have any ideas feel free to ignore this!

SAY LESSSSSSS (I've been dying for someone to request Barty or rosekiller pls send all the requests). Also! so glad you enjoyed that fic! (I played myself and kinda fell for Rab too 😬)

I Wanna Be Yours | BCJ

feat. Barty Crouch Jr. x blackcat!reader

SUMMARY: Barty is determined to win your affection, but due to his larger-than-life personality and your aloof nature, you find it difficult to trust his intentions.

CW: MDNI 18+, smut, pov switches once, a little angst and a little fluff, blackcat!reader, artist!Barty, only soft for each other, mentions of drinking and drug use, strong language, sort of insecure!reader, Barty is a giant simp

AN: i'm having my scene music renaissance, and something about that era is so Barty-coded. I have a few other songs that suit him in my mind, but I'd love to hear any ideas you guys might have!

masterlist

“Honestly, I don't know what Slughorn’s problem is. If I want to make a love potion that makes Xeno hard for four days, I can—”

“Four days and I would die of deprivation,” Xenophilius chuckled, his arm draped over Pandora's shoulders.

“Sure, but what a way to go.”

You walked beside them, half-listening to their sugar-dipped conversation, equal parts disgusted and deeply jealous. You'd never admit it, but you so badly wanted what your best friend had. Devotion, affection, complete and total acceptance. But you walked through life like a spring-loaded trap, biting the fingers off anyone that dared come close.

“Should we grab dinner before heading to the library? I'm starved,” Pandora said, turning her attention to you.

“Sure, it's probably quiet this early anyways—”

“Going to dinner, are we?” Evan bound up between Xeno and Pandora, throwing his arms over their shoulders. “I'm fucking ravenous.”

Two arms looped around your waist, hauling you back into a solid chest. The familiar scent of clove cigarettes and paint enveloped you, as if you needed any clues to know exactly who had the audacity to handle you so boldy.

“As am I,” Barty purred against the shell of your ear.

You wriggled in his hold, slapping at his forearms until he released you. “Not in the mood, Junior,” you warned, ignoring the way your stomach flipped when you met his dark eyes, eyeliner smudged along his lashes.

“Aw, don't be cross, gorgeous. You looked like you needed a hug,” he teased, falling into step between you and Pandora, slowing his natural gait considerably. He snatched your books from your arms, ignoring your protest and cradling them against his chest. He was dressed in a white dress shirt and a Slytherin vest, his tie loose and sleeves pushed up, hand-poked tattoos sprawling and dark against his forearms.

“I'm fairly certain she needs a hug as much as she needs your dumbass in her space,” Pandora said, rolling her eyes. “Which is not at all.”

“Oh, she needs me.” Barty grinned. “She just doesn't know it yet.”

“Give it a rest, Crouch,” Xeno cut in. “Keep pushing her and you'll end up on the bottom of the Black Lake.”

“Oh, how exciting! How will you do it, treasure? Stabbing? Maiming? Choking? Oh Merlin’s fuck, please say choking—”

“Maiming sounds about right,” you bit, attempting to get your books back, but he was far too tall, holding them way above your head. You wouldn't give him the satisfaction of jumping for it, and crossed your arms over your chest with a huff.

“You can maim me whenever you like,” he said, a cheeky smirk on his stupid, handsome face. “Will you do it now if I ask nicely?”

You ignored him, looking forward again.

Barty Crouch Jr. loved nothing more than fucking with you, finding the gaps in your armor and trying to pry them open. But no matter how attractive you found him, because saints was he attractive, or how endearing he could be in the in-between moments, you refused to play his game.

You would not be made a fool of, not like every other person he set his sights on and got bored with a week later.

“So are we eating or what?” Evan asked, walking backwards at the front of the group. Any student unfortunate enough to be in his path quickly scurried out of it, cowed by the Slytherin's reputation for retaliation.

You watched them shrink away from Barty too, who clearly got some sick sense of pleasure from it. He even bared his teeth at a Gryffindor that veered to close to you, flipping your bodies around so he was on the outside and you were next to Pandora again.

“I'm actually going to head back to the dorm,” you said, slowing so you fell out of line with them. “See you later?” You said to Pandora, who gave you a tight frown.

“Are you sure?” She asked, tilting her head like an avian.

“Yeah, you guys enjoy,” you said, pretending you didn't see the disappointment flash across Barty’s face as you turned on your heel, letting the opposite flow of students sweep you up and away from your friends.

The truth was, Barty scared the shit out of you. He was everything you weren't: outgoing, bold, rebellious, and just charming enough to get himself out of whatever mess he and Evan made. And for whatever reason, he was obsessed with pushing your buttons. And he did, with infuriating efficiency.

Pandora insisted it was all in good fun, that he was harmless, but you knew better. You saw the way he manipulated others to get what he wanted, the way he masked his calculation with charisma.

Barty Crouch Jr. was far from harmless, and even if he had his friends fooled, he would not fool you.

Barty's POV

Barty watched your head bob away through the crowded corridor, your books still heavy in his arms and guilt gnawing a hole in his chest.

Why couldn't he just fucking control himself? He felt like a noxious ball of energy, filling whatever available space he could, unable to contain his own impulses, a slave to his own existence.

He just wanted you so badly. You occupied every part of his mind, owned every thump of his wretched, ruined heart. He was irrevocably, intrinsically yours, but you couldn't stand him, and it was largely his own damn fault.

Because he was broken. Couldn't hold a normal conversation. Couldn't flirt in a way that wasn't deeply vulnerable, or obscene and intense. For Merlin’s sake, he'd begged you to choke him just now.

You were a fix he couldn't get, so he was suffering withdrawals from a drug he never had. He was going mad with it, the desperation for your attention. He would do anything to hear you say his name, to occupy an ounce of space in that beautiful brain, even if meant looking like an idiot. Like a psycho.

It was worth it just to have you look.

After dinner, the four of them returned to the Slytherin common room, Barty still carrying your books with a wrapped bundle on top. Every step towards your shared dorm with Pandora made his heart beat faster, a nervous sweat collecting along his spine.

Nothing made him nervous like you did.

Barty walked into the room last, his eyes immediately drifting towards your bed even though he tried to resist. You were curled up against a pile of pillows, surrounded by parchment and open books, your quill scribbling furiously across the page in your lap.

You glanced up when they entered, meeting his eyes for a split second, low-lidded and disinterested, per usual, and turned your attention back to your work.

The dismissal itched like a bug under his skin, his blood going hot and tingly. He needed you to look at him again.

He set your books on your desk and kicked off his shoes, flopping onto your bed before he really thought about it. It was softer than his, covered with quilts and pillows, and he noticed a little stuffed cat tucked away under your covers. He could smell you all around him, so sweet and warm, and whatever rationality he had left dissolved into goo.

“Who invited you?” You snapped, shoving at his shoulder with little success. A swell of affection at your pitiful attempt made his heart beat quicken, you were just so fucking cute.

He set the paper bundle on your chest. “Thought you might be hungry, sweetness,” he said, hugging one of your pillows to his chest.

Merlin, you were so beautiful when you glared at him like that. He filed the image away for later, mentally sifting through his paint collection for the perfect shade to match your pout.

You looked a bit perplexed at the package, almost angry, and his anxiety returned, fighting through the haze caused by your proximity. “You brought me food?”

He nodded, biting back ‘and dessert too’. He wanted you to actually eat the food, not throw it at his head.

Hesitantly, you unfolded the bundle, as if he'd given you something rotten, or was pulling a prank. It made his lungs squeeze with guilt. He was shitty to a lot of people, most people. But not to you, never you.

Your brow softened with relief when you realized it was just a sandwich, before quickly furrowing again. He wanted to smooth it with his lips, kiss you until it never creased with worry again.

“I'm not hungry,” you said, setting the bag on the side table. A twinge of hurt stabbed between his ribs, but didn't let his smile falter. He knew that's what you would say. And he also knew you would eat it later, when no one was around to see you accept a small gesture of kindness.

That was good enough for him.

You slid out of your bed, leaving his side cold, and he stretched out against your sheets, wallowing in your residual warmth like a niffler in a pile of gold.

The others chatted around you, Xeno lighting up a joint by the cracked window, but you sat down at your desk, turning back to your work and tuning them out.

Barty sighed, letting his eyes flutter closed so he could pretend he was wrapped in you body instead of your sheets, his nose buried into your hair instead of your pillow.

Reader's POV

You and Pandora walked arm in arm into the library, chatting about the idiots in your Transfiguration class. You were headed to your usual spot at the back of library, a collection of over stuffed chairs by a stained glass window overlooking the Forbidden Forest, and stopped short when you saw Regulus, Evan, and Barty already there.

Barty was reclined in the window, his long legs propped up against the other side, a sketchbook in his lap, quill between his teeth.

“Excuse the hell out of me,” Pandora said, startling them all from their abnormal quiet.

Barty's head snapped up, his eyes immediately landing on you, and he about fell out of the window.

“What? Like you own this table?” Evan drawled, not looking up from his book,his expensive loafers propped up on the table.

“Yes,” Pandora shot back, dropping down beside him and pulling out her books with clear agitation. "So if you're staying, keep your mouth shut."

Evan mimed zipping his lips and crossed his heart. Barty just turned back to his sketchbook instead of sauntering over to you with some cheeky quip on his tongue.

A prickle of uncertainty climbed your neck. Perhaps you really had upset him about that sandwich. You wish you hadn't said you were hungry as soon as it came out of your mouth, but you were too proud to apologize. You were so stunned by the gesture, so overwhelmed by his body pressed against you, his warmth mixing with yours, that you clammed up. Shut him down.

But even now, you couldn't bring yourself to approach him and apologize. Thank him. So, you sat down beside Regulus, the only other member of the group you found tolerable most of the time, and he greeted you with a dip of his chin.

You pulled out your work, determined to pretend Barty wasn't there at all.

Of course, you failed. Your eye kept wandering back to him, his sharp jaw silhouetted by the light, his pierced brow furrowed in concentration as his hand moved across the page, silver rings adorning ink stained fingers. He was dressed down today, jeans and Slytherin sweater, the collar of his shirt underneath it crooked.

After an hour or so of quiet, he dozed off, his head lolled against the window, quill dangling loosely in his fingers. Barty did that a lot, slept in unusual places at unusual times when the quiet dragged on a little too long. Evan mentioned once that Barty struggled to sleep at night, insomnia or something, and even the draughts Madam Pomfry made him only worked sometimes.

Unable to quell your curiosity, you got up to retrieve another book, brushing past him and sparing a glance down at his sketchbook. Your own face stared back at you, framed with rough sketches of your hands, your eyes, the bow of your lips.

Your heart gave a painful lurch, a burst of affection making your bones soften, and you nearly stumbled over the carpet, catching yourself on the bookshelf at the last second.

You hurried down another row, praying none of your friends saw you, and braced yourself against the shelf.

Did Barty like you? Like, actually like you? You couldn't fathom it. It didn't make sense. You weren't kind to him, or outgoing, or special. He was all of those things and more, the most fascinating, maddening, all-consuming person you'd ever met in your life.

Surely, he didn't see all of those things in you? But why would he draw you if he didn't see something of interest? Something he liked?

Fuck, you couldn't breathe in this stuffy library. You needed air.

You steeled yourself and walked back to the table, collecting your things.

“Something wrong, y/n?” Regulus asked, always too perceptive, and Barty stirred, picking his head up from the wall to peer at you through drowsy eyes.

“Nothing, I—”

Barty slid off the window and you lost your train of thought, heat scorching your cheeks. “Rushing off to hang out with your more interesting friends?” Barty asked, his voice a little gruff from his brief nap.

“More interesting friends? Not at Hogwarts,” Evan chuckled. “We're as interesting as it gets.”

“If you're bored, babygirl, all you had to was say so,” Barty hummed, striding up to you.

You placed a hand on his sternum to stop him from coming any closer, ignoring the flare of heat that accompanied the contact. “You were asleep five seconds ago,” you argued.

“Asleep and dreaming of all the ways I could keep you entertained.” He grinned, wicked and sharp, and the simmering heat spread to your lower belly, your heart beating fast.

“What are you, a fucking court jester?” You bit, unable to stop your arm bending as he pushed closer, the smell of ink and his cologne making your mouth water.

“I'm whatever you want me to be,” he flirted, and Regulus and Pandora groaned in unison.

“Will you leave her the fuck alone?” Regulus snapped, tugging Barty back by a belt loop. “She's not interested in your act, Junior.”

“Act?” Barty quirked a brow. “I’m dead serious.”

“Don't talk about his brother that way!” Evan shouted, far too excited to make the over-used joke once again, and you rolled your eyes. Apparently, the rare quiet time had come to an end.

“I don't give a fuck about his brother!”

“I don't give a fuck about you!”

“Oh, so you're a bitch and a liar?”

“I'm not a bitch, you cunt!”

“I'll see you guys at the party later,” you said, using their bickering as your window of escape. You all but fled the library, desperate for some fresh air and clarity.

If Barty sincerely liked you…did that change anything? Was there a way to know for sure how he felt? You didn't even know how you felt, not really. You'd never let yourself really consider it for fear of inevitable disappointment.

Sure, you found him attractive, everyone did. And yes, despite yourself you thought he was funny and sweet, in his own, odd way. And he was especially sweet to you. He never brought your other friends food, or waited for them after class, or snuggled in their beds. Well, besides Evan.

He didn't really touch anyone else either. But if you were close enough, as he often ensured you were, he was touching you whenever he could. Knocked together knees in the Great Hall, leaning on you during class no matter how many times you shoved him off, throwing his arms over your shoulder when it was cold, wrapping his pinky around yours in a particularly crowded hall.

Yes, his words were often obnoxious and bordering on insane, but his actions…his actions were sincere, thoughtful, almost tender.

Was that the real Barty?

Maybe you had been fooled just like everyone else into thinking he was nothing more than a joker, a rowdy troublemaker, when the reality was so much deeper.

Had you been all wrong about him?

By the time you and Pandora left your dorm room to join the party, the common room was a madhouse. Green lights flashed in time with the thumping bass, bodies dancing and mingling in every available spot on the dancefloor, a haze of smoke and glitter over their heads.

You were wearing a black mini dress and heels, held together by string and a prayer. Your hair hung in loose waves down your back, your eyeliner sharp and lips painted. You knew you looked good, lethal in the best way, but all you could think about was Barty's reaction.

Would he like it? Hate it? Or even worse, not even notice?

Together, you and Pandora moved through the crowd towards your friends usual place at the far side of the common room.

Of course, you spotted Barty first. He was leaning against the bar, dressed in all black, tailored trousers and a sleeveless undershirt. Apparently he ditched his actual shirt before you arrived in favor of displaying his countless tattoos, most of them done by his own hand. His hair was dark with pomade and pushed off of his face, glitter clinging to the sweat along his lean chest and shoulders.

He looked like a wet fucking dream.

Xeno let out a low whistle when you and Pandora stepped out from the crowd, drawing Barty's attention from Evan and Dorcas.

His jaw dropped instantly and with a dramatic flourish, he pretended to faint into Evan's arms, clutching at his heart. Despite yourself, you giggled, and Pandora shot you a surprised look through a gap in her boyfriends embrace.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Barty gasped, sliding out of Evan's arms and onto his knees. “Look at—baby, look at you!”

You flushed under the attention, your blood heating as it raced through your veins, but you just rolled your eyes at him, a new confidence blooming in your chest. He loved it.

You strode over to the bar, closing his mouth with a finger, and leaned against the counter. “Firewhisky?” You asked the student bartending, and they stared back at you, dumbstruck, before rushing to collect your drink.

Barty leaned against your legs, his cheek against your thigh. “What are you doing to me?” He whined up at you, feeding into your surge of confidence.

You pushed his head away, tugging at the roots of his hair before releasing him, and he groaned, a low, panty-melting sound. “I'm not doing anything. You're just insufferable,” you chastised, accepting your drink.

“And you're beautiful,” he said, sounding almost reverent, and you nearly choked on your drink.

“Fuck off and drool on someone else, yeah?” You snapped, overwhelmed by his candor, even though it was exactly what you thought you wanted.

Fuck, you didn't know what you wanted. And even when you did, it seemed your subconscious wasn't always in agreement. You had wanted him to drool over you. He was literally on his knees, but some broken part of your brain couldn’t accept it. So you pushed him away.

“C’mon, you simpering mutt,” Evan said, hauling Barty up. “I think I saw a kegger over there.”

Barty started to protest, but Evan and Regulus dragged him away.

“You should have some mercy,” Xeno said, leaning on the bar beside you.

“Oh?” You raised a brow at him, taking a sip of whisky.

“Poor prick is besotted,” Dorcas supplied.

“He's full of shit,” you bit, that panicky feeling crawling up your spine.

Pandora shook her head, and your eyes widened. “It's true, I’ve never seen him so fucked up over someone before.”

“He's not the obsessive type. Not when it comes to dating, at least. He loses interest as often as he changes his underwear. But he's been stuck on you for months,” Dorcas said.

“Yeah, he usually obsesses over like quill tips, and arson—”

“You guys are serious?” You asked, cutting off Xeno. “You think he actually likes me?”

They all stare at you, dumbfounded.

“You can't tell?” Pandora asked, grabbing your face and shaking you. “Babe, he's absolutely gone for you.”

“Like, gone gone,” Dorcas added.

“But it's Barty, I mean—he’s never serious—”

“Exactly, that's what makes it so obvious!” Pandora cried, exasperated. “I thought you knew!”

“Why would you think that!” You shouted back.

“Because he says it constantly!” Your friends yell in unison.

“He was on his knees, y/n. Like literally on his knees,” Xeno said, shaking his head. “It doesn't get much more devoted than that.”

Devoted. It clicked then, the signs you'd been brushing off, refusing to see clearly because of your own veil of distrust. Because you didn’t allow yourself to accept the truth out of fear. Barty had been showing you for months how he felt, and not just in his words, in his actions. Bringing you food when you were hungry, walking you from class to class, meeting your barbs and verbal lashes with a smile.

He’d been wearing his heart on his sleeve this entire time, and all you’d done is punish him for it.

Oh, fuck. How could you be so blind?

You set your drink on the bar and pushed through your friends, ignoring their calls as you forced your way through the crowd, searching for Barty in the sea of green. You found him standing with Evan and few other members of the Quidditch team, cheering while a fifth year shotgunned a dandelion draught.

“Barty!” You shouted over the roar, grabbing his wrist.

He turned, his eyes widening in surprise. “Y/n? Are you alr—where are we going?”

You dragged him into a shadowed alcove, slightly hidden from the party. Your heart was pounding in your ears, tears already burning behind your eyes. “Be honest with me,” you said, forcing yourself to hold his gaze.

“Always,” he said automatically, brow heavy with uncertainty.

“How do you feel about me?” You asked.

Understanding dawned, and Barty's expression melted into something painfully soft, painfully sincere. “I just wanna be yours.”

The admission stole the air from your lungs, made your heart freeze in place. "M-mine?"

“Yours,” he breathed, his hands finding your waist, grip tight as desperation filled his eyes. “Please, let me be yours.” He lowered to his knees again, his head by your navel. “I promise—I promise I’ll be good, if you’ll just give me a chance too—”

You leaned down and grabbed the silver chain around his throat like a collar, dragging his mouth to yours in a fervid, frantic kiss. He surged upwards, lifting you into the air and crushing you between his body and the wall, forcing air out of your lungs. You wrapped your legs around his narrow hips as his tongue pried open your mouth, desperate to taste you. Desire pumped through you, scalding hot and more potent than the whisky, making your head spin, your skin tingle.

You tugged at his hair, drawing him closer, and he whimpered low in his throat. Your cunt clenched at the sound, your thoughts turning singular: make him beg. Your tongue traced his lips, tasting beer and cigarette smoke, and you sucked his lower lip between your teeth, biting hard before soothing it with your tongue.

His hips canted up into your core, his hands moving down to squeeze your ass beneath your dress and grind your core against him. You gasped, breaking the kiss for a moment, and he seized the opportunity to pillage your mouth again, licking at your teeth and the roof of your mouth.

“Your dorm,” you panted, yanking his head back by the roots of his hair.

He didn’t hesitate, throwing you up and over his shoulder in a startling feat of strength.

“Barty!” you squealed, giggling and slapping at his back while he carried you to the stairs, his hand keeping your dress in place so you didn’t flash anyone. He couldn’t have made it any more obvious what was happening, and you found that you didn’t care. If you were going to be with Barty, you were going to have to get used to being loved out loud.

“Look at her ass again, see what happens!” You heard him bark, his voice a rumble through his ribcage, and you rolled your eyes, smiling to yourself as he carried you up the stairs.

A moment later, you were being tossed roughly onto his bed, the door slamming shut with a muttered alohomora. Barty crawled up your body, his dark eyes flashing with a feral hunger that made your pussy purr, and he dove into your neck with his teeth and tongue, making you gasp and arch into his body, your whole body alight with pleasure.

“Easy, baby,” you cooed, petting his hair to try and settle his frantic affection. Poor thing couldn’t seem to control himself, so worked up he was rutting against your thigh. “I’m not going anywhere, darling, relax.”

He whined into your neck, clutching at the fat of your lovehandles. “Need you so bad,” he groaned. “M’sorry, can’t help myself.”

You rolled over him, straddling his hips with yours. “I know, love. Just sit still and be good for me, yeah?”

He nodded vigorously, watching you kiss down his body with heavy-lidded eyes. You pushed up the hem of his undershirt, licking a stripe between the valley of his abdomen muscles, admiring the tattoos you’d only gotten glimpses of.

“So pretty, Bat,” you purred, and felt his cock twitch against your chest, his head falling back against the pillows. “Been wanting me this whole time?”

“Yes, so badly—fuck, treasure, please—” he moaned when you grazed your teeth along his hipbone, sucking the skin into your mouth to leave a mark. His hand tangled in your hair, rings cool against your scalp, and you released his skin with a pop, admiring the plum-colored bruise left behind. “I’m getting that tattooed,” he panted, dragging a thumb over your spit slick lips. “Swear to Salazar.”

You giggled, shifting further down to undo his trousers and finding that he apparently skipped boxers. His cock sprung out to slap against this stomach, rigid and flushed, a bead of pearly precum dripping down to his navel. Gently, you traced a finger over the protruding veins along his shaft, admiring him.

Barty hissed through his teeth, his muscles tensing to keep still.

“Good boy,” you praised, wrapping your hand loosely around him, pumping once, twice without any real pressure. He was long and slightly curved, gorgeous, and you couldn’t resist dragging your tongue up the root of him, feeling the velvety texture against your lips.

“Fucking shit, you’re going to kill me.” His fingers tightened in your hair as you lapped at the head, savoring the salty taste of him.

You looked up at him through your lashes, his head thrown back, his chest rising and falling with labored breaths, every muscle flexed tight. Fighting for his life to hold still.

“Baby,” he whined when you stopped, picking up his head to look down at you.

“Say your mine,” you ordered, hovering just over his cock, holding his wild-eyed gaze.

“I’m yours. I’m so fucking yours.”

You smiled and wrapped your lips around him, swallowing down as much of him as you could manage and he cried out, rough and breathless with relief. You bobbed up and down on his length, tongue pressing against the root of his cock and using your hand to stroke what you couldn’t reach, and you watched his soul leave his body.

“Baby, baby, baby,” he chanted, using your hair to lift and lower you a little faster, his control starting to falter as you pulled him apart. “Bloody hell, you’re way too good at this. What the fuck—oh saints. Your mouth feels like fucking heaven.”

You hummed in response, letting him push you further down, gagging on his length before he released you and you pulled off of him to catch your breath, a trail of drool connecting your lips and his head.

Barty groaned. “Never mind, I’m getting that tattooed. Right on my fucking forehead so every time I look in the mirror—”

You climbed back up his body and draped yourself over him, silencing him with a sloppy kiss, his tongue laving across your lips to taste himself. “Do you ever stop talking?” you teased, kissing the corner of his mouth, his cheekbone, his temple.

In a quick movement, he flipped you beneath him. “There’s one sure-fire way to shut me up,” he purred against your ear before kissing and licking down your neck and chest. Every pass of his lips was electric, a bolt of pleasure straight your weeping pussy, swollen against your panties and desperate for attention. “This dress,” he murmured, tracing the swell of your breast with his tongue. “Wear it for anyone in particular?”

“I wanted to see your reaction,” you admitted, gasping when his big hand came up to knead your tit, fingertips still a little stained from sketching. His rings were harsh against your skin, and you arched into him, relishing in his greedy touch.

“Sent me to my knees, sweetheart. Damn near killed me.” He pulled the top of you dress down, your tits spilling free, and he took one pert nipple into his mouth, lashing it with his tongue while he teased the other with his hand.

You keened, hands flying into his shaggy hair. Every pull of his mouth went straight to your cunt, making your hips buck against his thigh. He shifted to press his leg harder against you, letting you chase your pleasure, and hummed in approval against your chest.

The friction was amazing, buzzy heat spilling under your skin and making you moan and cling tighter to him, trembling with unspent energy. “Fuck, Barty—please.” You weren’t sure what you were begging for, but he seemed to understand you perfectly.

“Say your mine, treasure,” he said, biting at the side of your breast, and you yelped.

“Yes, Barty! All yours! Just please—”

He pushed two fingers into your mouth, silencing you while he shifted down your body. Without warning, he buried his face between your legs, licking and sucking at your pussy through your panties with an eagerness that made your eyes cross, your teeth sink down on his digits.

“So fucking sweet, baby. Melting like sugar f’me.” He yanked your panties down your legs and returned to his feasting, laving his long tongue through you before sucking hard at you clit. He slipped his fingers from your mouth, needing both hands to spread you open for his consumption.

Your mind was wiped clean, erased completely by all-consuming bliss as he practically mauled your pussy, vicious in his pursuit of your pleasure. His tongue fucked into you, the slurping loud and lewd, while he massaged your clit with his thumb. You dug your nails into his sheets, trying to stifle your screams into his pillow.

"So responsive, baby. Ready for more?" He asked, easing his middle finger inside of your clenching channel, curling against the gooey spot behind your pelvic bone that made you melt into the mattress. Adding a second finger, he started nursing your clit again, letting his dexterous artist’s fingers coax you open.

Once you were moaning, loose and languid against the mattress, he ramped back up, working your g-spot like it stole something from him he was hellbent on getting back. He dragged his teeth against your clit, soothing the flare of pain with his tongue, and you felt yourself draw tight, teetering on the edge of oblivion.

“Barty—oh God, I’m going to come—oh fuck, oh fuck!” You lifted almost completely off the bed as your orgasm slammed into you, ripping through sinnew and bone to consume your heart, devour you entirely.

Barty slowed his ministrations, dragging his tongue through your spasming pussy with long, lush licks, his hold tight on your thighs when you started to inch away from him, your body twitching and shaking as you came down from your high.

“That’s my treasure, so fucking gorgeous when you come for me,” he hummed, smiling against your skin, and nuzzled his nose against your clit while he withdrew his fingers, making you jump and whine. “Not so mean now, are you, sweetness?”

You shook your head, trembling and weak, completely boneless beneath him.

"So soft for me, hm?" He dragged you down the bed, throwing one of your calves over his shoulder while he swiped the head of his cock through your messy slit. “Better hold onto something, darling. You've got me at the end of my leash.”

You wrapped your hands around the bars of his headboard and he grinned, a wicked slash across his handsome face.

“Fuck, I knew you were perfect for me.” He notched his cock at your entrance and with a smooth roll of his hips, buried himself to the hilt. You both cried out, the fullness, the stretch more intense than anything you’d felt before. “I was fucking made for you, baby,” he groaned, dragging his hips back before snapping them forward, your pussy fluttering around him.

“Fuck, B, feels so good,” you mewled, rocking your hips to meet his thrust for thrust, the bed creaking loudly beneath you.

He used his hold on your elevated leg to lift your hips off the bed, ratcheting up to a punishing pace, making you scream and thrash on the bed while he fucked you with every ounce of desperation and determination he’d harbored over the last few months. His teeth sunk into your calf, hard enough to send a bolt of pain down your leg and make you cry out, heightening the pleasure radiating from your core until you were teetering on the edge again, every graze of his cockhead against your cervix winding you tighter, higher—

“Shit, baby, I’m gonna come soon,” he grunted, his thrusts growing sloppy, erratic and rough, and you could only nod. “Can feel it, tres. C’mon, babygirl, come with me. Please, need to feel you come around me, m’dying for it, please, please—”

You came with a scream, your vision whiting out as sunlight blazed through you, eviscerating every ounce of tension, trepidation, fear, and leaving you a beacon of light, nothing but giddy, delirious stardust.

“Fuck, yes, that’s it—fuck!” Barty came a heartbeat after you, the swelling and throbbing of his cock as he painted your inside white prolonging your release, wringing every drop of pleasure from you until you both collapsed onto the bed, chests heaving and sticky with sweat, the glitter from his skin decorating yours.

You reached for him, trembling and raw, and he gathered you into his chest, kissing your cheeks and forehead with a dizzying gentleness. “Barty,” you breathed, hands curling against his chest, too overwhelmed with feeling to say anything else.

“I’m yours,” he whispered, cradling your face to bring your gaze to his. “I’m yours.”

You nodded, leaning forward to kiss him, taste him again, letting the warmth of his body, the heavy beat of his heart, ground you in the reality of this moment. Barty was yours, and you were his. And you were safe. He wanted you despite your attitude, your armor, your callousness. He wanted you exactly as you were, more than happy to lay in the shadows with you, or draw you out into his light to dance.

“And I’m yours,” you breathed against his lips, and he smiled.

“I'll be right back,” he murmured, pressing a delicate kiss to your head before flying out of bed and wrenching open the door, his cock barely stuffed back into his pants. “SHE’S FUCKING MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNEEEEEEE!” He screamed down the stairs to the party.

A chorus of cheers rang out, reaching you from the common room. You buried your face into his pillow, laughter bubbling up despite the embarrassment scorching your cheeks.

Barty whirled around, a maniac’s grin on his face, and he dove back into bed, determined to stake his claim as many times as possible before sunrise.

Thank you for reading!

[life-is-more-than-just-a-game]

♠️ What a day off of games with the aib males can look like. ♠️

A/N: Sorry, I've been absent for two days now, but for good reason. I wasn't feeling too well mentally and needed some time to myself because something happened that put me in quite a hole ... 🥲

Still, I've been thinking about what I could post here next, so I've prepared a few headcanons that define what I think a day off of games with the male characters might look like. 🙈

I hope that some of you are still around and will read through it. Feel free to let me know what you think about it or if you think any of them might have other interests! ✨

Characters: Aguni, Arisu, Chishiya, Karube & Niragi.

POV: gn!reader

Warnings: Not given.

A g u n i

It depends on what time we are in.

If the beach still exists, Aguni is often prevented from doing anything with you outside if he already occupies the number one spot.

You would have to live with the fact that you would hardly have any time just for the two of you, because someone from his troupe would always want something from him.

If he realises that this is bothering you - or he is annoyed by it himself - he will turn his boys away and say that they should leave him alone for the next 2 hours as far as possible because he has better things to do.

In general, no matter what time loop we are in, I would say that Aguni would adjust to your needs.

I have the following typical scenario in mind:

Nobody said it would be easy with you, but let's be honest: it's the Borderland, what excited yet relaxing things could you do here so far?

Aguni: "So there are no games waiting for us today. Any ideas what you want to do in our day off?"

Y/N: "Uhm ..."

Aguni: "Come on, you must have been in the mood for something."

Y/N: "Yeah, but I really don't know for what I am in the mood for ..."

If you really don't know what you want to do, he would give some suggestions.

Aguni: "We could go to the pool."

Y/N: "Too cloudy for my taste ..."

Aguni: "We can do some sports together."

Y/N: "Now your expectations are set far too high!"

Aguni: "What about fishing?"

Y/N: "Can't we just get some fresh air and go for a walk together?"

Aguni: "..."

Y/N: "..."

Aguni: "You knew very well what you wanted to do, didn't you?"

Y/N: "Without my lawyer, I won't say anything."

A r i s u

If you want to do something, then Arisu is definitely the right person.

The boy is always up for a lot of nonsense and fun activities.

This is probably also because he doesn't want to constantly think about the terrible circumstances that are happening here.

He has got used to life here, but living in constant fear doesn't get someone anywhere and only has a negative effect on oneself.

So, if he is being trapped in a world that could take his life sooner or later, he at least wants to live every day as if it were his last.

You will not regret spending time with him.

He comes up with the wildest ideas, starting with taking a closer look into the various broken buildings.

Of course, he would still be cautious of entering any places just like that- not that both of you suddenly find yourself in a game, because that's what you're trying to avoid today.

You still wouldn't be able to stop him.

Y/N: "A-Are you sure we should do this, Arisu?"

Arisu: "Nope, but you only live once, so let's check this building out- maybe we'll find some interesting things in here."

Y/N: "Would you define 'corpses' as interesting ...?"

Arisu: "Wow, you really managed to ruin my fun."

Investigating the building would include lots of laughter and piggybacks when your feet get tired from all the walking over ruins and debris.

Eventually you find out that this building was a former arcade.

You can definitely pass the time well there.

Arisu: "Would you like a game of billiards?"

Y/N: "I'm going to rip you off so bad, love."

C h i s h i y a

Listen, this boy is a damn lazy piece of shit.

When there aren't any duties don't expect him to do something special.

He has no problem putting his feet up for a day and literally doing nothing.

Feel honored if he spends his time with you at all.

No matter where you both would be, he would find ways to just doze off and relax while you - after all - lie in his arms and enjoy his closeness.

It's nice that he can do that, but you can't.

He would definitely be a great help to you.

Y/N: "We've been lying around here all day."

Chishiya: "Well realised."

Y/N: "I'm bored."

Chishiya: "Then do something."

Jokes on you, no, he wouldn't.

Making you pout is one of his favorite things to do.

Y/N: "But I wanna do something with you today since we have enough time finally."

Chishiya: "We do something, darling."

Y/N: "Idiot, that's not what I meant!"

How could he be bored if you let him get on your nerves so easily?

In contrast to you, he has something to laugh about and something to amuse himself with.

Nevertheless, he would at least agree to a compromise:

Damn, you love the nightlife.

Chishiya: "How about this? We'll use the time now to laze around and in the evening we'll take a look at the neighbourhood together and see which places are damned by games this time."

Y/N: "We don't take part in any games, our visas count enough days for us."

Chishiya: "Who said anything about taking part in a game?"

Y/N: "So, if I let you lounge around now, you will promise me to stay up late with me?"

Chishiya: "That's a deal."

K a r u b e

To me the funniest but most chaotic one.

During the day, at least.

I can well imagine that Karube and you had already planned the day ahead the evening before.

But what would life be like if everything went as planned?

The morning is pleasant. You wake up together and after a intense cuddle-round, you start your routine as usual.

Unfortunately, Karube realizes that he can't find something.

Something very important when it comes to following his routine.

In the end, it all comes down to searching your whole accommodation for his cigarettes.

Karube: "Honey, d'you know where my cigarettes are?"

Y/N: "I don't know where you put them yesterday after you got ready for bed."

I mean, when you do smoke yourself, they can be important for you too ...

If not, well, then you are a very nice and good person!

You can guess where this is going.

Y/N: "Did you found them?"

Karube: "I would have told you when that would be the case."

Y/N: "Sure you didn't throw the box away because you smoked you last one yesterday evening?"

Karube: "I know my pack of cigarettes inside out, there were at least three more in there."

You spend the whole forenoon looking for his damn cigarettes.

You turn the whole accommodation upside down.

Both of you look under every stone.

In every room.

Two times- minimum.

Now he remebers ...

Y/N: "Karube, forget it, you don't have any- ... Darling ...?

Karube: "What is it?"

Y/N: "What's that in your pants pocket ... at the back of your butt?"

Karube: "Uh-... Oh!"

Karube: "You found them! That's right, I put them straight in my jeans yesterday so I couldn't forge- hey!"

Y/N: "Yeah, I threw your boxer shorts at you!"

N i r a g i

Oh, my dearest reader-chan, please stay close to him no matter where he goes.

When he has nothing to do, he will go through the city streets looking for people to annoy.

He would look for trouble and find it- even if there's no reason for trouble, he'll just make it happen himself and find his reasons.

I don't know how, but at least you managed to stop him from taking his gun.

That's something you should be very proud of.

However, that doesn't stop him from doing anything and we know that.

So please. Stay. With. Him. Thank you!

In any case, you walk around the area together and check it out a little.

You'll talk about pretty trivial things every now and then, but that's still more pleasant than just talking to each other all the time.

When you meet someone, Niragi is ready to provoke them directly for no reason.

Thank god you had a firm hold on his hand or his arm so you could quickly drag him in another direction to avoid the innocent people.

Y/N: "Oh, look!"

Yes, you also like to pretend to see something that you would find interesting.

… In partially empty shop windows.

The nice thing is that he would still look to something you tell him to look at.

Niragi: "What the fuck should I look for?"

Y/N: "See the rocks there?"

Niragi: "You kidding me, right?"

There could actually be something interesting there.

Well, most of the times at least.

It's nearly impossible but who know?

He will touch his nose and look at you angrily- but not without laughing afterwards at your amiable stupidity.

Y/N: "OH, SEE WHAT I HAVE FOUND TH-"

Niragi: "What is it this time? Another boring and ugly stone you think it's fascinating?"

Y/N: "No ..."

Niragi: "Oh, what is it this time then?"

Y/N: "The tree there."

Damn, he loves you so much for what you are, he can't even be bothered.

[call-me-copycat]

Hey! Idk if you still write fics but if you do. Could you please write about Aizawa having a daughter who selfharms, but he didnt knew until one day he entered to her room and find her doing it?.

Its kind of an emergency so i would really apreciate if you wrote it 🩷

Hi! I'm really sorry for the slight delay, I've been bouncing between school during the day and work at night, so even though I saw your ask I couldn't physically write it due to exhaustion (⑉ ᷄ ⌳ ᷅ )ก

That being said, even though it's been a couple days I didn't want to leave you hanging! I got some rest and wrote as much as I could in one sitting!

I really do hope this helps, feel free to message me anytime if you need to vent or such ₍ᐢ‥ᐢ₎ ♡

What I Owe To You

*I listened to this on loop while writing*

➤ Welcome - Introduction and Request Rules (Requests are open + Some info about me)

▶ Characters: Just Aizawa and Reader

▶ Genre: Comfort + Slight Angst

▶ Summary: As the ask states

▶ Word Count: 2925

▶ WARNINGS:

- Self harm

- Depressive thoughts

- Overall lots of angst

Please don't read if any of this makes you uncomfortable!

The cycle always went on.

At this point you were afraid of what was to happen next. At the same time, the thought was pushed away by the constant emptiness that filled you through. The sticky tar-like hands of this unknown void ravaged your mind, shredding it apart piece by piece.

Leaving you constantly feeling... Hollow. It was difficult to describe it as anything else.

You walked to school everyday and went to your classes. You sat next to your classmates as they animatedly discussed the usual topics of training and what to do after school.

On the weekends, you slept. Sometimes went shopping with your father. Maybe you'd get visited by your Uncle Mic, other times you'd train.

There wasn't much variety. It was suffocating. These feelings had no place to spawn from, as your life wasn't much different from everyone else's. There didn't seem to be a reason, for all you knew. But it was there, no doubt about it. It made itself known.

-

It was a usual Friday night. You had completed all your classes and had the weekend to yourself. It felt pointless, there wasn't much to do. Nor did you have the energy for anything either.

Sitting in your room, you jumped a bit at the unexpected knock on your door. You had been gazing out of your bedroom window for who knew how long, zoning out as far from your mind as you could. You vaguely remembered that a storm was to come soon.

"Dinnertime. Wash up and come to the table when you're ready."

Your father's voice never failed to comfort you, and in a way he was one of the main beacons of light in your dark and foggy world. An unchanging pillar of strength, he held on tight to your cracking mind.

Slowly, tiredly, you made your way out of your room. As you passed by Aizawa, he couldn't help but sigh in response to your barely-there smile at him. You had a habit of doing that, possibly to keep him from worrying.

Truth be told, Aizawa always worried about you. Ever since you were young, he was on guard every second, trying to keep you from falling and scraping your knees, to keeping an eye on you during training.

Though recently, he had noticed some... changes. Your eyes began to grow dull, and their usual energy faded with each passing day. The bags under them grew more prominent, and in turn your hair began to be left more of a mess. Slowly, little things were building up, and he couldn't tell why.

It worried him sick, since the only thing he had in mind for you was for you to be happy and safe. Seeing your condition worsen with each day made him nauseous, as it was the last place he wanted you to be at. He wanted to help you, the best he could.

So that's why before you even sat down to eat, he began to question you.

"Are you feeling okay, [Name?]"

Truth be told, he knew you'd say you were fine. He just needed to soothe his frantic mind.

Looking up at him, you gave him another smile. He couldn't help but grimace at how forced it looked.

"Oh, of course I'm fine." You clenched your jaw at how unenthusiastic you sounded, but it would have to do.

Aizawa only felt uneasy. Too many things added up and gave him a weird taste in his mouth to leave it at that.

"Look at me, [Name]."

The unusual tone of his voice brought you out of your foggy state of mind as you looked up at him fully. Once you met his eyes properly, Aizawa took notice of the... Saddened expression that filled yours. He knew someone was wrong, but it was being covered.

"You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?"

He needed to know if you trusted him. He needed to be the one person you trusted in life. This was all or nothing.

Your eyes went wide for a split second as your breath hitched, but you quickly shook it off. His bluntness was what caught you off guard.

"Really, it's nothing Papa." You tried smiling once more, raising a hand out a bit in an attempt to calm him. You knew it was a pitiful attempt, but you didn't have the energy to make it convincing. Alongside that, Aizawa was generally a very tough man to fool. It'd take a lot to actually pass anything through him.

Aizawa's eyes narrowed in response as he saw your reaction to his question. Your body language indicated how uncomfortable you were, and he didn't want to push you too far past your limits.

It was tough, but he decided to give it up in the end and hope you'd come to him whenever you were ready. You always shared everything with him since you were young, and he had gained a large amount of trust over you in turn.

-

Dinner was eaten in silence, and as soon as it was over you bid your father a goodnight before heading off to your room.

Aizawa stayed seated at the kitchen table as he watched you walk off, wondering what was happening to his child. He couldn't bear the thought of you struggling with something alone. He had been there your whole life to help you get through everything you passed by, so why weren't you letting him in now?

After much deliberation, he got up from his spot at the table and made his way to your room. He needed to finish this conversation, and he needed to know what was going on. His mind had been sprawled all over the place for the last few months, as he'd been observant enough to catch on to the smallest changes you went through. Seeing you go into such a decline was like a punch straight through to his heart.

His mind was in such a haze that he threw open your door without second thought, seeing as he normally takes care to knock first. The room was pitch black, but based off of the startled gasp that came from you and the clanging of metal hitting the ground, Aizawa felt his blood freeze in fear.

Quickly flipping on the light, his eyes widened at the site that laid in front of him. You didn't have any time to cover yourself, so Aizawa saw it all.

The bandages laid out.

The blades.

And most importantly, your cuts.

You felt your eyes water at the expression on your father's face, guilt and self-loathing bleeding into your mind.

Aizawa was stuck in shock for a moment. It felt as though all time was warped as he saw what was his worst nightmare laid out in front of him. He was quickly snapped back to reality at the sound of your sobs that echoed throughout the room.

He swiftly made his way towards you from across your room, and in one smooth movement he pulled you into his lap, hugging you tightly to himself.

He had known something was wrong, felt it deep in his heart, but he didn't realize how serious it truly was. His heart ached for you as his grip only grew tighter around you. Aizawa didn't want you to hide these things from him, and in a way, he felt disappointed at your lack of trust towards him. All his disappointment and anger quickly dissipated, leaving him to face his worry and guilt.

"[Name]..."

He could hear his voice tremble, but couldn't care less.

"Why? I-" He was stuck in shock. It was something he never thought he'd run into. Looking down at you, his worry for your well-being grew tenfold, but he gathered the willpower to overcome the sudden surge of emotions he was feeling.

"I want... I need you to promise me you'll never harm yourself again," He looked down at you, cradled in his arms, "I don't think I could ever bear the pain of losing you..."

He knew this was only one step of many. That it doesn't start like this. That it grows. Although he couldn't pinpoint what might've started it, he at least needed to confirm you'd be safe. He just needed this one thing to give his already worn heart a little bit of ease.

You couldn't help but recoil a bit, bringing your arms to hug your torso. As much as you wanted it to be that easy, as much as you wanted to tell your father 'okay!', you knew it wouldn't be done so fast. And in a way, that only worsened your resentment towards yourself.

"I... don't know if I can.." You avoided his gaze as you faced the ground, hating how saddened he was and much rather preferring him to be angry. It'd lessen the guilt a little bit, at least.

He needed something.

"[Name]... I can't make you promise me you'll be able to stop right away. That's foolish to believe." Heaving out a sigh, he put a hand atop your head. "But I just need you to know that I'd be devastated without you. I can truly say from the bottom of my heart, I'd never be able to live a normal life again if you were gone."

Looking up into his eyes, you saw a heaviness that swirled in them. This was coming from a man who had seen it all - numerous deaths in ways he wished he could unsee.

You hadn't realized just how much you meant to him. It never popped up in your head. The all-consuming void had blocked any sensibility or logic from getting to you, and the more you thought about it, the more you realized just how much it would affect your father. He always told you your pain was his to deal with too.

Settling your face in the crook of his neck so you wouldn't have to see the hurt in his eyes anymore, you tried your best to explain everything to him.

"It feels..." Closing your eyes, you tried imagining everything that has built up. "Like I'm running a race, yet getting nowhere. That everything I do has no effect... I'm tired."

You stayed silent as you felt your father put a hand on the back of your head. Aizawa watched as you carefully pieced your words together, and saw the true effect of everything you had been dealing with. His heart ached to relieve you of your pain, his fatherly instincts screaming at him to help save his child.

"[Name]." His grip on you tightened ever so slightly. "I want you to get this through your head, alright? You are not a failure. You're going through a lot, and it's weighing down on you. And I understand you're under a lot of pressure, but-"

Aizawa was cut off when he began to choke up, the thoughts too much for him to bear. As much as he tried to keep his composure for your sake, his walls were beginning to crack.

You heard your father pause and looked up at him, only to be brought into shock at the sight of your normally stoic father tearing up. You felt ashamed for forgetting about his pain, tearing up once more at the guilt that ravaged your mind.

He could see how surprised you were, but he couldn't help it. He always struggled to contain himself when it came to you, especially whenever you were hurt. He hated seeing you in pain.

"Do you have any idea what it would do to me if I lost you? I- ... [Name], if anything happened to you, I don't know what I'd do anymore, I'd-"

He truly couldn't help it. All that Aizawa wanted was for you to be happy. Seeing you in so much agony... seeing your only escape being to harm yourself... He felt that he lost a part of himself.

You cried out loud this time, seeing your father so torn over you. It was heartbreaking, but oddly soothing at the same time. To have someone to deeply care about you that they felt intertwined with you. He cared.

You could feel his arms engulfing you, and you allowed yourself to be swallowed in his hold. It was warm and soothing... A stark contrast to the cold you constantly couldn't escape from.

As he held you, Aizawa couldn't help but be more shocked at himself than anyone. He normally was able to easily retain his composure, so as he felt tears flowing down his face he couldn't help but stiffen. Quickly getting over it, he held you close. The room gradually began to get quieter, the both of your emotions slowing down.

You couldn't help but feel... Secure. It was a stark contrast to the constant void you felt. You felt... Warm.

Yeah, warm.

It was a nice feeling.

Closing your eyes, you finally allowed your body to relax. Aizawa rubbed your back as he gently rocked back and forth.

"I just want you to breath. Don't think about anything else."

Following his word, you kept your eyes closed and settled your breathing. You quickly noticed how much easier it was to think this way. Nothing else was getting in the way, no unwanted thoughts or fears, and you felt safe. Safe and comfortable.

The world around you normally was so chaotic. It seemed everyone was in a rush, always somewhere to be. You couldn't have time to yourself either, constantly getting pushed to and fro. There never seemed to be a place to stop. Nowhere to rest. An unchanging race.

But here you were. The world has stopped, giving you a break you so badly needed. You couldn't describe it, but such a simple hug from your father seemed to dull everything that pained you.

"I understand what it's like."

Aizawa would be lying if he said he was never in your place before. Too many nights he was kept up, worrying about working on himself. Scared of the changing future. Feeling like nothing was changing for him while the world moved on. It was isolating.

Over the years, he got better. The world's rush blurred to background noise, and he learned to appreciate his own speed in life. It was his own life he was living, after all.

Looking down at you, he saw a mirror image of himself.

"Y'know, it's not fair..." You looked up at him as he brushed away a lone tear from your cheek with the pad of his thumb. "You allow me to laugh with you in your happiest moments... So why do you lock me out when you're at your lowest?"

You had never heard it phrased like that before. You did enjoy having him around whenever you had something good to share. Whenever you were proud, or amazed, or just plain happy. But you understood, he wanted to be a part of it all. Every smile... And every tear.

Your voice couldn't find you, but Aizawa didn't mind. To you, he was always a hand outstretched. A guide to help you through the fog and the dark. It made the terrifying a little less daunting.

"Please talk to me when you can. Tell me whatever you'd like, I just want to know how you're feeling."

You nodded, looking at him directly. Your heart rate had gone down significantly, and you didn't know how much time had passed. If you listened carefully, you could hear the distance rumble of an oncoming storm, thunder booming on the horizon.

There was a pregnant pause before he started once more.

"Tomorrow, we'll need to get your injuries looked over-"

Seeing a look of fear cross your expression, he was quick to calm you.

"I'll be with you. The entire time. You won't have to deal with living life alone. I understand it's frightening to look at, but let me hold some of the weight you own."

You watched as Aizawa stretched out his hand, offering it to you. Looking at it, you thought back to all the times he'd helped you in the past. Every time he's offered his hand out to you.

All the times you were too scared to cross the road when you were little. Every time you felt too suffocated by the number of people surrounding you. Or even when it was just the two of you, silently walking home together in the warm afternoon sun.

He always offered you support, for every little thing life had to throw at you. Aizawa's expression softened when you gently put your hand in his, no hesitation in your movements.

Clasping his fingers over yours, you saw how your hands intertwined. And you realized, he was always there to take some of the pain from you - acting like he was a part of you.

"You get it now, huh?" Looking up into his eyes one more time, you thought you saw a sparkle in them. "Whenever you bring pain to yourself," He squeezed your hand a little tighter, "you're hurting me right alongside with you. I need you in one piece, kid."

You breathed out, everything a little clearer now. There was so much more to do. So much to go through. It was a formidable thought.

But as you looked up into your father's eyes and as you felt his hand in yours, you realized;

You weren't alone.

You really did owe him the world.

During my lowest moments, Aizawa was always a huge character I relied on to get me through it. I will always write comfort for him to anyone who asks.

I hope you have a lovely day, and I hope things get just a little easier for you, you definitely deserve it (*´艸`)ﾌﾌﾌｯ♡

➜ Please let me know if I missed any warnings/triggers in the tags or in the opening!

[erinwantstowrite]

hi! hope your having a good day/night/timezone/etc.! u got any writing tips (like how to not lose motivation/use up as much of it as u can while u have it, any ways to get the words flowing/“get in the writing mood” that have worked for u) for any of ur fellow fic writers? (idk if this’s been asked b4 (it seems like a common question lmao), but if it has, ‘pologies, lolol ^^)

i have a few that i've been thinking up to try and post!!

remember that you aren't on a deadline to write, and to take the time you need. no one wants to read something you rushed, let alone do YOU want to read it. and it REALLY matters if you love what you're writing. you'll kill your motivation trying to keep up with something like that!! if you only had time to write 300 or you had a great day and wrote like 3000, you're doing great either way!!!

there's a lot to keep up with when you're writing, and you have to remember and understand all of it. if you're trying to write while you're tired/upset/etc, you'll likely end up with something you're not that proud of. (granted, art is art, and sometimes these emotions can create something beautiful or meaningful). take metal breaks so you can come back to your work with a fresh mind, and don't overexert yourself. you'll remember and understand more if you treat your writing time like you would when you're studying. sometimes i make flashcards to remember characters, places, events, etc.

sometimes i can get too analytical with my writing, or it starts to become flat? if that makes sense? meaning, like... i'm putting words on paper rather than delving into the story. too many "they felt this way" and not enough "Character A turns to face the man that had changed their entire life with the single shot of a bullet, careless to what damage he could have caused. It's haunting to see that the man is simply that: a man. Not a monster as they had imagined, laying awake at night and wondering what their father had seen in his final moments. He's just a man." what helps with this is putting myself into the shoes of a narrator, remembering that i am telling the story as if i already know what's happening (even if I don't know where I'm going with a scene yet). i imagine that my reader is right there next to me and i'm telling them the story in real time like we're sitting around a campfire telling ghost stories, or that i'm the quirky narrator of a book they just picked up.

During times where i'm losing inspiration or feel like i'm in a loop, i like to go back to my favorite medias and spend some time with them. i recently rewatched Gravity Falls, the Sea Beast, and the Adam Project, and it was a fun mental break that got me into the writing mood. i try to find similar media to what i'm writing at that time. if i want a scene focused on funny banter or a comedic effect, i read or watch comedy. if i want to write a scary scene, i'll watch a horror movie. etc etc. "studying" your favorite media and putting yourself into your fav writer's writing shoes is a great way to improve your own writing. think about why that joke was funny, what the set up was that made it that way, and if it would have been a different joke if another character said it (Gravity Falls is one of the best media you can use for this, but really, reading mysteries in general can help)

physical exercise, if you can. getting your blood flowing and treating your body well!! when i was in band, we used to do "body warm ups" set to music, and i still do them to this day. it gets me awake and alert while also letting me listen to fun music before i write

[lover-of-mine]

I need to read something buddiee.... Whats your favorite buddie fic? And your favorite that you have written? If you don't mind sharing ofc! Thanksss~

My all time favorite buddie fic is listen to you breathing (is where I wanna be), I legit reread this every month, it as presumed dead fic that makes me cry my eyes out every time but it is AMAZING. @buckgettingstruck recommended me Buck Day Afternoon and I've been thinking about it since I read it lol. when the hardest part is over is a short Eddie begins coda that I think about all the time. the stick-around fundamentally changed me as a person and has the best opening line I've ever seen in fanfiction. Don't take the money is time loop lawsuit fic that might be the only good lawsuit fic I've ever read. drench yourself in words unspoken is a fic where everything is the same but Eddie is a best selling romance author and Buck is reading his books that I just love. a night in early october is a shorter getting together fic that I read a lot because it feels warm, I don't know how else to explain, it makes my heart warm.

And written by me, my favorite fic I've written is tell me how it feels (say it ain't so) and i love that it is my most popular fic lol it's a fic dealing with the cemetery scene. Followed by it's gravity after all, where Buck and Eddie are trapped in an elevator and talking shit out. Wedding bells were just alarms is my most recent fic and has my favorite getting together I've ever written, where Buck proposes to Natalia, picks a fight with Eddie and they proceed to have a really bad week. I need to recommend this one because I want people to read it even tho I know why people aren't reading it, but in too deep to find a safe way out it's a very short, deep with the imagery, unrequited love type thing of Eddie realizing his feelings during madneys wedding. And people seem to like in case you don't live forever, that one is Buck and Eddie trapped in a collapsed building.

[pardonmydelays]

what's your favourite thing about three houses - favourite song, favourite lyrics?

i think my favourite thing about three houses is that it exists and i can listen to it whenever i want (still can't believe it btw), i don't really know how to answer this question without being absolutely chaotic so here's a bunch of other things i absolutely love about it:

the way margo seibert sings "one gets in your shoe" in birch trees (actually the entire song but this one line does something to my brain because of her voice)

"when you're nursing a heartache sometimes you look back trying to find the reasons ​your life has gone off track, ​parents and grandparents, every branch along the tree ​trying to trace the tumor that ended up in me, ​and the birch trees stand like ghosts oh the birch trees stand like ghosts!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

pookie! (as someone who's deeply obsessed with dragons i just KNEW i was gonna fall in love with pookie) - every single time i hear her "pook pook pookie!" i just can't help but smile. "HELLO MISS SUSAN, I HAVE SUCH WONDERS TO SHOW YOU!!!" and "tidy tidy tidy! pook pook pook! tidy tidy pook pook pook!" and "​ooo miss susan! ​i know you'll like this! special bottles! special pook!" hello i love pookie so much oh my fUCKING GOD-

"i am a speck! i am a speck! i am a tiny tiny tiny tiny speck!!!"

"maybe that’s what i really want from a partner: you tickle me for a bit, ​i tickle you for a bit ​and then you go the fuck away" SUSAN- 😭

"AND I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW! I KNOW THAT I SHOULDN'T BE HAPPY BUT I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!"

the berries and the plums... "​i can’t leave yet, ​the berries and the plums, ​their harvest time has come, ​you MUST SAIL AWAY WITHOUT ME. ​and i'll come and find you both when all the work i have is done, some day... when all my troubles here are over" I AM KILLING MYSELF DAVE MALLOY I MEAN SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK-

the way mia pak screams "and the house was fucking great!!!!!!!!" in the desert

"see there's this clicking in my head ​when certain things line up when like is put with like ​and there is order"

"we plank! we plank! ​until our mind goes blank!" WHAT THE FUCK ZIPPY HJBHBEKBJHJE 😭

missing... the entire song because it's fucking relatable but i especially love the "sometimes it feels like half of me is mis-sing, sometimes it feels like half of me is gone"

quarters. quarters. quarters. i've had this on a loop for fucking days before the album was released on spotify. "quarter in. ​rooooooooooooll. ​clink. ​push push push push push push. nothing falls ​nothing falls." IT SCRATCHES MY BRAIN. guys. go listen to 2:02-4:02 and you will get it (no you don't need the context it's not about the lyrics it's about what happens to your brain while you listen to this part)

haze

"my heart broke ​and then the world broke ​and then my brain broke too ​and i don't know which one to blame, i just know i'm not the same, ​i've been drifting, ​drifting through the haze!!!!!!!!!!"

"LISTEN TO THE STONE, LAY YOUR HANDS UPON THE STONE, FOR THE STONE STANDS WATCH FOR A THOUSAND THOUSAND YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"but love never lasts love always leaves you in the end love never lasts love always leaves you in the end. love always leaves you and love always leaves you and love always leaves you in the end!!!!"

"either the one you that you love slips away, ​sinks into the ground ​or into the crowd... or the love in your heart falls apart, withers and wanes"

"the way she looked at me ​as her hand pressed on my knee; i won't let anyone ​feel like that again. and if i have to be ​all alone that's what i'll be ​i can shut out all this darkness and pain" WHAT THE FUCK BECKETT WHAT THE FUCK- 😭

i think love always leaves you is my favourite song at the moment

the way beckett asks "WHY AM I LIKE THIS?????" in the clochán

"I CAN MAKE A CLOCHÁN!" lmao me at any minor inconvenience (i'm gonna start using this phrase now)

"​yes beckett, shut yourself in! ​deeper and darker! the basement is mine, all mine!!" FUCK YOU SHELOB

"a house made of stone where i can't hurt anyone, ​a house made of stone ​where no one can hurt me, ​a house made of stone ​where i can't hurt anyone, a house made of stone ​where i can't get hurt!!!!!"

"​dance with the wolf, ​pin a flower to his chest, bite his lip ​and caress his neck, ​this is who you are, ​it will never go away ​so dance with your wolf" and "dance with the wolf, ​hold him close, squeeze him tight, ​let your bodies dissolve into sky, ​this is who you are, ​it will never go away" AND "​so smile and embrace your darkness, ​sing and scream in its gaping maw, ​offer him branches and blankets, hold him as he howls, ease his pain" AND AND AND "dance with the wolf, scratch his chinny chin chin, meet his eye, say his name, breathe him in, make him a plate, ​​because this is who you are, ​​it will never go away" DAVE MALLOY WE NEED TO TALK WHAT THE FUCK I AM THROWING UP I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE-

"​the three of us smiled as one... ​as we looked back at the houses we had come from, and we looked back at the people we had been, ​and then we looked forward toward whoever we were each ​about to become"

ok, i'm done.

[manlikeazi]

Sweater Day - Niko Omilana

On Sweater Day, Niko surprises you with a heartfelt confession disguised as a gift despite not knowing what the sweater day meant at first.

Masterlist

You were lounging on the couch, too bored even though this is the only time you've had a break after a lot of shooting as you mindlessly scrolling through TikTok. Video after video blurred together as you scrolled through until one caught your attention, a post about December 3rd.

Oh, that’s right. December’s almost here.

You glanced sideways at Niko, who was sitting beside you, too focused on his phone that a slight frown etched on his face. You couldn't help but slightly smile at the sight of him holding his phone in one hand and his other lazily stroking the cat sprawled across his lap, he looked too domestic and it's something that you wouldn't mind seeing everyday for the rest of your life.

"Hey Niko, what do you think about Sweater Day?" You asked Niko, your voice cutting through the comfortable silence.

"What's sweater day? I've been seeing it all over my page" He asked as helooked up, his brows furrowing slightly as his interest piqued.

He looked too cute with the added confused frown. But your fondness and adoration for him didn't last long when your brain processed what he said.

Oh, right.

He doesn't listen to Conan but he can listen to Tokyo drift in loop?

"That's uhm... About the day where you like... give sweater to a person" You said, flattery taking over you as you felt suddenly aware of your pulse quickening. Why were you nervous?

Why the hell are you even doing this?

Damn, you shouldn't blush, not infront of him.

"A day about giving sweaters? That's like a fashion holiday, another batch of NDL merch will pop off, limited sweater edition" Niko said his thoughts out loud with a smile, his hand absently scratching behind the cat’s ears.

Of course, business is in his mind.

"When is it exactly?" Niko asked with curiosity.

"December 3rd" You said.

"It's weird that you're just randomly giving a sweater for a day" Niko said, not truly understanding the idea of it.

"It's more like, it's a way of confessing if a person gave you a sweater in that day" You said, trying not to fidget as you tried to justify the meaning of it, feeling a need to depend it.

"Oh" He said with a realization, his smirk faded as it is replaced by a thoughtful expression.

"Are you expecting from someone then?" Niko said as he leaned back, his fingers stilling on the cat’s fur.

"I really don't know, but it's nice to receive one" You said, your voice wavered slightly, and you forced yourself to look away. 

I'd like it very much if you gave me.

It’d mean the world if it was from you.

Anyone from the heavens above want to grant me a wish?

Niko didn’t say much after that, but the air between you shifted. He seemed unusually quiet, his mind elsewhere, though you couldn’t quite read his expression

He just gave a hum as a response and completely changed the topic after that. Let's just say that he was lost in thought for the rest of that day. With you thinking that he was just planning things for business.

It's rare for Niko to shut up.

You shouldn't really be overthinking this.

The days blurred together as December crept closer. Work consumed your time with filming, editing, promoting Niko’s new merch drop. He had been busy too, throwing himself into the launch with his usual energetic and playful self.

As Niko said, he did work to make another batch of his hoodie and sweater merch to sell. He did plan to drop it early so everyone can order it.

You help the best you can by wearing it outside, in your videos, whenever you guest on someone's channel. You're always mentioning the brand.

Deciding to spend a random Tuesday just resting and making it your work off day after hours of filming yesterday, going from places to places.

You barely noticed the date as you finally took a day off, letting yourself relax on the couch with a blanket and your favorite tea. The knock on your door startled you. Groaning, you shuffled to answer it. Nonetheless, you still did it. Opening the door to see a person standing infront of you.

There stood Niko, dressed in his signature NDL hoodie, a small box in his hands. His usual confidence seemed tempered, a flicker of nervousness in his eyes. You didn't think much of it as the first thing you came up with is to let him inside. It's really dark and cold outside.

"Come on in then" You said as you stepped aside, looking at him.

Niko shook his head and waved his hands no.

"I really just passed by because I wanted to give you something before I fly out to Atlanta" He said handing over the gift. He was feeling nervous for him, It couldn't really go worse right?

"George is waiting at the car, I wouldn't be long" You looked at him puzzled, mind wondering if why is he handing you a box.

Must be some sort of prank.

Well then, I should just open it and be done.

You raised and eyebrow at him. You excitedly tried to open the box, pulling the both ends of the ribbon. He's waiting for you to say something at least. Suddenly, he stopped your hands. You turned your head to look at him.

"Wait" He said his hand grabbed your wrist to prevent you from opening the gift gently. You did stop and listened to him.

"You should open that when you go inside" Niko added still with a neutral face, you couldn't read him.

Was he nervous? Scared? Just neutral?

What is he giving you, some sort of something dangerous?

No, he wouldn't do that to you.

Probably some secret type of shit.

"What is it?" You said as your gaze flickered from the gift to Niko's eyes with confusion.

"Just... something I thought you’d like" Niko said as he hesitated, glancing over his shoulder at the waiting car.

"Thank you for this really, I appreciate it" You said with a gentle smile, feeling a rush of mixed happiness and excitement spreading through your whole body.

He gave a really genuine look in his face when the both of you made an eye contact.

"I have to go now, open that when you're inside yeah? I'll see you in a week" Niko said giving you a one last look before smiling and turning around.

A week? In Atlanta? Well, that wasn't really rare for him to go out of UK for a filming with the Beta Squad.

You wanted him to come back and explain this box but you didn't had a chance when he entered his car with George driving and waved you goodbye. You watched the car drive away still with a stunned and confused face. You stand there too long enough to feel the coolness of the wind blowing through.

Clutching close the box he handed you and following what he said. Back inside, curiosity burned through you as you set the box on the table. Carefully, you untied the ribbon and lifted the lid. Inside was one of his new NDL sweaters, but it wasn’t just any sweater. It looks very expensive and very nice. Seeing a brand new, well packaged NDL sweater. 

You admired it in awe with mouth agape feeling the soft sweater in your hand. Immediately wearing the sweater as you felt it embrace you like a certain person does. The fabric was soft and familiar. You tried to smell it, expecting the smell of a new clothes.

Instead, you smelled something more pleasant than that. The strong smell of something familiar and something comforting. You tried to smell it more to remember it and as you brought it closer, you caught a faint, unmistakable scent. His cologne.

Is this Niko's cologne? Couldn't be right?

Goodness gracious, it's his.

You're really sending him later a thank you text.

After a busy 10 minutes of admiring the sweater and enjoying the smell. Slightly wishing that he should've just sent you a bottle of his cologne but still that you're grateful for what you have.

You glanced at the digital clock sitting at the table. You noticed the date.

December 3rd...

December 3rd?

Oh.

HE GAVE YOU A SWEATER?

IN SWEATER DAY??

You felt a cold rush of something spreading through your back when you finally clocked it up. Shocked at all to everything that is happening.

What does this mean?

Surely it's just friendly right?

You glanced back to the box to see more to it. Seeing a folded paper inside, you felt your heart skipped a beat as you reached for the folded piece of paper tucked beneath the sweater. Unfolding it with trembling hands, you began to read.

Dear Y/N,

I  have something to tell you. It's something that I have kept long enough, avoiding the possible negative outcome. I'm sorry that I didn't have enough courage to tell you this in person, I know I should have been more brave but here I am.

L ong time that we have been friends, this friendship meant a lot to me, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. We have supported each other through ups and downs.

O ur every moment that we have together feels like a treasure that I wanted to keep in my mind forever. I know enough the rules that you can't fall for your best friend... But rules are made to be broken, right?

V ery important you are to me. I have fallen inlove with you. You're the only person that can give me motivation like no one else. I never intended this to happen, If I am in charge of my feelings, I wouldn't choose this to happen.

E ven if you don't feel the same way but please, take all the time you want to process this.

Y ou're really important to me, I couldn't lose you because I can't imagine my life without you in it. You have always been my comfort person.

O thers that I have been with doesn't match the same way you did with me. Your laughter gives brightness to my day, a moment with you becomes the highlight of my every day.

Unable to tell you really in a long time that I love you, more than anything else in this world. I'm telling you that I will respect whatever will your decision be if we can remain to be friends or you want me out of your life.

Sincerely  yours , Niko.

With more added shock to yours you couldn't say anything or think of anything besides Niko. Reading the words again like you heard it come out from him. Feeling like you're nearly gonna cry.

Your thoughts drifted to your brother, Aj. Wondering how will your brother react after finding out that one of his best friends have a thing for his little sister?

Because everyone knows that you cannot meddle with your friend's sister or brother. That's just not appropriate but it did happen, the both of you didn't want this to happen. Didn't want to feel the same thing.

He will probably get mad and serious to Niko.

If it goes bad, this might damage their friendship.

Niko...

After a few minutes, you finally recovered to your shock and immediately tried to look for your phone. You went to text him but you didn't knew what to say.

Should you say thanks?

Or should you finally confess your feelings?

You let your fingers type your thoughts and let it happen.

Thank you for the sweater, Niko. I love it. And just so you know... you’ve got a girlfriend waiting for you back in London who misses you already. Take care of yourself in Atlanta, okay?  Don't do anything stupid.

You smiled at your text after sending it. Deciding that you should go to sleep wearing your new NDL sweater from Niko himself.

On the other side, a wide smile can be seen in Niko's face when a notification popped from you in his phone.

Noted. And I’ll be home soon. I’ve got someone special waiting for me there, after all.

He's definitely excited of coming home, with a lot of surprised reserved for you.

- end -

I kinda changed it a bit different from the original request but love tho it's a very very lovely request and keep them coming.

Y'all see what I did in the letter? (I LOVE PEOPLE WHO GETS IT)

I hope y'all have an amazing day, absolute love and guidance.

As I said everytime, send in some request and ideas!!

[bekolxeram]

I woke up to a dash full of bones, and I thought to myself: What a day to be a moopsy!

But then I realized it was the same kind of bones people have been trying to force feed me since May. I'm a moopsy with standards, give me herringbone, funny bone, trombone, Jackson Rathbone (jk I've never seen Twilight), any other kind of bone.

Please don't force a moopsy into vegetarianism.

Oh, and I've read that opinion piece. It's certainly one of the articles ever written.

First of all, I feel like I'm in a time loop, I can't believe I have to dig through the vault to find this post from June. Tommy wasn't taking Eddie on an "adventure" in 7x04. Both flying and combat sports have been Tommy's passions way before Eddie showed up in his life. They happened to share common interests, so Tommy asked Eddie to tag along for the ride, but he was going to Vegas anyway, solo or not.

Exploring your partner's interests would be more like... I don't know, showing up to a groom-less (and fun-less) bachelor party while being on standby because it's important to your partner? Listening to him ramble about a dead outlaw even though you're so tired from your shift and taking care of him all night that you're basically mumbling half-asleep, yet still manages to catch that he's said "crossed" twice? Thinking your partner is stressing himself over a stupid curse but you still put on a nice suit, drive him to the cemetery and stand behind him while he gives a century old mummy a eulogy, for it to unexpectedly turn into a moment of connection between you two?

Secondly, I'm not even getting into the whole "slow burn is the only valid form of romance" thing. I just never imagined there would be a day I see the words "slow burn" and Bathena put together. They're the antithesis of slow burn. They're explosions in the form of beautiful fireworks. I understand that the author only started the show about a month ago? But literally, in the first episode of S7, Athena told the therapist that while she loved her husband, she didn't know how to just slow down and chill out with him. The cruise ship disaster arc ended with them bonding over yet another near death experience. Life's too short for slow to them.

Thirdly, 9-1-1 doesn't really do cute dates? It's either in the ending montage of an arc or it's a setup for some terrible misfortune afterwards. It's not a YA style queer coming-of-age show either, the best you'll see Buck navigating through queer spaces is speeding from "calling himself an ally while on a date with a guy" through "walking into a room full of people with a soot eating grin". (While we're on that, I guess I have to dig out another post from June about the first date closet comment. Tommy took the initiative to tell Eddie they were just hanging out, and Eddie bought it. He didn't mind keeping Buck's sexuality private, but he did mind Buck pushing him back into the closet with the hot chick lie.)

Finally, Tommy has been relatively involved in the Fire Fam circle ever since his re-introduction. He literally stole borrowed a helicopter and flew the 118 to the Pacific Ocean just to save Bathena. He was at the wedding, he was at the medal ceremony, and now he's part of the hospital vigil for Denny. And each time he's not just there for Buck, he's there for Chimney, he's there for Hen too. For someone who puts so much emphasis on "slow burn", the author seems rather hasty in pronouncing BuckTommy dead on arrival, after watching a total of 5 out of 18 episodes this season (with 2 of them heavily featuring passengers on the plane and putting the whole fire fam to the side no less). Every relationship takes time to build up, I'm sure the author understands that, welcoming a new member into your family is not a question of yes or no, it's also a question of when. Tommy has mentioned 3 times how much he wanted to have a team like that behind his back, how alone he was navigating through life with only negative influence like his father or Gerrard. Buck's story in 8x05 started as a spooky comedy about a mummy, but ended as a heartwarming tale of Buck empathizing with Billy's loneliness and declaring himself part of Billy's posse. So what do you think will be the more satisfying payoff to Tommy's story? Him being formally welcomed to the family eventually? Or having him break up with Buck then cast aside with a mere "lol sucks not being a main ig"?

[thechaoticdruid]

[This Bites] (2)

Astarion x Chubby Female MC

Content/Warnings: Winnie freaks the fuck out. Astarion gets an owie. Asshole Brian strikes again. Nothing really crazy in this chapter.

Chapter One: Here it is.

Chapter Two: You are here.

Chapter Three: Lets goooo!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Winnie fell back with a shriek as the vampire reached out, touching the other side of the screen. 

“Ah….Well that's not exactly the reaction I was hoping for.” He muttered as Winnie continued to stare in shock and disbelief, mouth agape.  “Hello?”

“I have got to be dreaming. This is insane.“ Winnie looked back at the screen before then putting her hand back on the mousepad and attempting to click on Astarion. 

“Hey! Quit that!” He said, swatting the mouse away from him. “I can see how this may be a little overwhelming, but I'll explain everything in a moment. I just need you to do something for me.”

“I’m not sure if I should be listening to you. You just murdered Tav!” 

“Don’t worry about them. They die all the time! They're used to it.” He said in an all too cheerful tone. “I, however, need your help. I'm trapped in this place and you're the only one who can free me.” 

“Still not sure if I should trust a hallucination…”

“Oh for gods sake I'm not a hallucination! I'm as real as you are. Don't believe me? Put your hand against mine. See what happens.” Astarion stared at her intently, keeping his palm pressed against the screen. Winnie paused, thinking it over.

Well It's not actually real after all, right? Probably just a dream…

Finally she placed her hand against his over the screen. For a moment there was no reaction, but then she felt a zapping pain in her hand as if she'd been shocked. Winnie let out a yelp, her hand about to retreat before Astarion phased through the screen and grabbed hold of her wrist. The female jerked back in fear, pulling the vampire out in the process. She fell back and let out a squeak as the male fell on top of her. 

Pink tinted her face as she felt his chiseled muscular physique pressing down upon her much more soft round squishy one. Her mind was flying, filled with shock, concern, disbelief, and a little arousal….

AHHHH IT'S REAL. THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING. WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO!!?!

I….I think I'm gonna faint!

“Finally.” Astarion grinned before getting off of the flustered girl. He breathed out, clenching and unclenching his fists as Winnie noticed his fingernails had become more claw-like now that he was outside of her computer. It was so nonsensical that this was even happening. This was a character out of a video game. How in the actual fucking hell was he standing right here?!

“Thank you. It feels like I've been stuck in a time loop for gods know how long.” The silver haired elf looked around her room, a look of pure glee plastered over his face.

“I'm sorry I'm trying to process this all without completely flipping out…” Winnie said, still rather shaken up. “You're a fictional character, you can't physically be here!”

“Well I am. Though if I'm honest everything up until about three days had ago felt rather trance-like. Like I had just woken up from a reoccurring dream.”

“Three days ago? Shit…” An idea began to form in Winnie's mind. Three days prior was when she installed that cheat mod and the game locked her out. What if somehow that was the cause of this!?

“I tried to snap the others out of it, but they were still stuck in the same routine, like some mindless thralls forced to repeat the same journey over and over!” Astarion made a spinning gesture with his hand before rubbing his temple with a sigh.

“None of them seemed phased in the slightest when I tried to speak to them. Not even a good slap did the trick.” Astarion smirked with a hint of mischief, the memory of slapping Gale repeatedly and yelling ‘WAKE UP’ coming to mind.  “So I had to get your attention.” 

“So you messed with my computer?” Winnie glanced back at her laptop.

“The little box portal thing you pulled me through? Yes.” He nodded. 

“And how did you even know about me?”

“You act as though we’ve never met, lover.~” His tone suddenly turned flirty and seductive. “Falling in love with you over and over was one of the few things that didn't grow old. Well that and murdering Cazador of course.” He chuckled with a smile.

“Oh…Well maybe I am just dreaming or hallucinating.” Winnie muttered under her breath. 

“I’ve been able to tell you were there the entire time, darling. That little portal thing of yours goes both ways.”

“You've been able to see me through the screen this whole time!?” Winnie bit her lip, fearful and a bit embarrassed of what he possibly could have seen.

“See and hear, yes. Although you always looked fuzzy from my end. Tav does resemble you a little bit, but you're much more….” His eyes scanned Winnie over, taking in her shape and stature. The girl was quite short, about five feet and three inches. She had short messy brown locks and dark circles under her chocolate brown eyes. A pair of black round glasses framed her round face. Her body was chubby and stocky and her only redeeming quality it had (in her opinion) were her large round breasts. “Voluptuous…” He finished after getting a good look at her.  Despite the meaning of the word Winnie immediately wrote him off as bullshitting as usual. She had played the game enough to know how he was.  

“But it is rather delightful to finally meet you in person. Honestly it feels like we've known each other for years.” 

“Alright…..I'll accept that you're actually sentient. And that everytime I go through the game you can see all my choices....” Winnie said, still coming to terms with the fact that a fucking fictional vampire  just came out of her computer.  “So…What happens now?”

“I see what this new world has to offer, I suppose.” Astarion let out a sigh, “I feel so much stronger here. Like I could do anything I want.” He grinned. Winnie felt very unnerved. He had this somewhat feral look in his eyes and before she could say anything he walked over towards her window like a dumbass only to let out a yell once the sunlight touched him. 

“Ah! Bloody hells!” He hissed before rushing to hide under her nightstand like a cat.

“The fuck are you doing!?” Winnie said before rushing over to shut the curtains. “Did you suddenly think you'd become invincible!?” 

“I assumed I was still under the tadpole’s protection, but it seems I was wrong…” Astarion said with a wince. His face looked a bit singed, Winnie knelt down by the table to look at him. 

“Hold on, I'll be right back.” She said before getting up and leaving her room. She rushed down into the kitchen, opening the medicine cabinet before grabbing some aloe vera ointment. 

Winnie eventually returned to see Astarion crawling out from the table. “Stay still. This is probably going to feel cold.”

“What are you doing?”

“Just patching you up, now hold still.” She unscrewed the lid off the ointment before dabbing some on her fingers and rubbing it over his burns gently. He winced a bit as she rubbed it in over the burns on his face, but eventually sighed in relief. “There. All better.” Winnie smiled slightly. 

“...Thank you….” He said, his tone a bit hesitant. 

“Yeah, well maybe try thinking before rushing into something next time?” She hummed before setting the ointment down on the nightstand. 

The vampire appeared to be staring at her intently, a small smile forming on his face before he cleared his throat a bit. Winnie turned and looked over at her computer before suddenly hearing the front door slam open. 

Shit.  

What the hell were they even doing back this early? Winnie’s mother had specifically stated they'd be home late!

“WINNIE!!!” She could hear Brian's voice shout from across the house. Loud stomping quickly followed.

“Who's that?” Astarion asked. 

“Fuck. You need to hide, now.” Winnie said before looking around the room frantically. She grabbed hold of Astarion's wrist, panic flooded over her face.  Astarion pulled his hand back.

“Now hold on one minute! I think I deserve an explanation!” 

”No time. Now shut up and get in the closet!” She quickly grabbed his shoulders and yanked him over towards her closet door.

“Excuse me!? I will not!” He scoffed.

“Get in the goddamn closet Astarion!!” Winnie growled before forcing him into the closet and shutting the door. Her heart was pounding. 

Not like she wanted to stuff him in there, but if Brian found out there was this strange man in her room she'd likely be called a whore and kicked out of the house. Brian was old fashioned like that. 

The door to Winnie’s room suddenly opened with Brian shoving his ugly head inside. 

“Your mother is sick, so we came back early. I'm going to need some cash because she ruined my new seat cover.” Brian held his hand out as if he expected her to immediately cough up a wad of cash.

Winnie immediately scoffed, “so let me get this straight your wife is sick and you're more concerned about your seat cover? Nevermind, no. I already gave you 200$ last week!” 

“Oh you ungrateful little bitch! I let you stay in my house for free! It's about damn time you start pulling your weight!” Brian snarled and pushed at Winnie’s shoulder, making her step back. Winnie glared at him. Her mother was the one who owned the fucking house, not him. 

“I need to be able to pay for classes! I can't just give you money for every little thing.” Winnie tried to reason with him, but it had absolutely no effect on the man whatsoever.

“You have your own fucking job and live in MY house for free! You better cough up some goddamn money by tomorrow night or you're out!” Brian shouted in her face before stomping out of the room and slamming the door. Winnie sighed, feeling mentally exhausted from that conversation. She stood there for a few moments until she was sure Brian wouldn't be coming back.

“Okay, Astarion, you can come out of the closet now.” She said as the closet door slowly creaked open. The silver haired male stepped out, flicking a sock off his shoulder before speaking.

“Charming fellow isn't he?” 

“Mhm, my mom sure can pick em.” Winnie replied sarcastically, crossing her arms. “That asshole has been a thorn in my side for about four years now. Anyway sorry about the closet thing. It's just better that he didn't find out I had some random man in my room. He tends to get set off by….well everything.” Winnie said before sitting down on her bed, her hand reaching for her laptop. She was rather curious to get down to the bottom of why and how this video game character gained sentience.  

“You know darling, if this man is causing you so much grief I could get rid of him for you? It wouldn't be too difficult.” Astarion said with a sadistic smirk, crimson orbs eyed the door to the hallway.  “After all, I'll likely start to feel peckish soon…”

Winnie’s eyes widened and a look of horror formed on her face. She quickly put her laptop to the side.

“No! No no no no! No killing!” The brunette stood up quickly. 

“What? Oh come on…I doubt anyone would miss the bastard, besides your mother can do so much better I'm sure.” The pale elf said with a grin.

“No, I mean it. You can't kill anyone.” Winnie said sternly.

“Not even bad people? Ugh! You're being completely unreasonable!” Astarion scoffed, his grin completely disappeared and was replaced with a look of frustration and annoyance.

“This world isn't like where you're from Astarion. People don't get away with murder here. And if you aren't caught it'll probably end up being pinned on me.” Winnie tried to explain calmly.

“Fiiiine.” The vampiric huffed, “I'll let him live. For now…” He murmured the last part under his breath. Winnie glared at him before returning to her computer. 

“So assuming you don't want to go back into my computer…” 

“I absolutely do NOT.” Astarion was quick to say.

“I'll have to figure out what to do with you, but for now I guess you can stay here.”  Winnie said, typing in Nexus Mods onto her laptop. Astarion went and sat beside her on the bed, spralling out behind her in a sort of paint me like one of your french girls kind of way.

“We can do whatever you'd like.~” He purred seductively. 

“Stop that.” Winnie said, her cheeks turning bright red as she tried to focus on what she was doing.

“Ugh, you're no fun.” Astarion rolled his eyes and got up off the bed.  The elf scanned Winnie’s bedroom, slightly curious of some of the strange technology the girl had stored there, but not too invested. Then movement caught his crimson eye. A small fluffy black feline emerged from under the bed. She had a pink collar around her neck with a little silver bed attached to it. Curiously the cat padded over, approaching Astarion and sniffing at his shoes.  

“What an adorable little snack.~” He picked up the cat who began to pur at the attention, “don't you just look delectable?” The vampire cooed, scratching the feline behind the ears.

“Astarion. Don't you fucking think about it.” Winnie hissed, immediately feeling protective over her cat.  

“Think about what?” Astarion rose an eyebrow and looked over at Winnie with a mischievous grin.

“I swear if you even think about eating my cat-”

“I would never! Honestly I'm hurt you think so little of me. As if I could harm such a precious little pet.” Astarion held the feline up towards his face, allowing her to gently headbutt against his cheek. Her purring sounded as if it was getting louder and louder. Winnie still kept her eyes on him, though perhaps she was a little paranoid. After all he did seem to fancy cats in the game. Likely felt a kinship towards them being that they were stealthy sadistic little predators who refused to let anyone be their master. 

Winnie sighed, today had been utterly insane. Forget how it happened. What the hell was she going to do now!? She's stuck with a vampire in her house who she has to hide from her asshole of a stepdad. She already knew off the bat there was no way he'd go back where he came from and releasing him out into the real world by himself was probably a terrible idea. 

He'd either wreak havoc or end up burnt to a crisp.  This was just great.

Fuck.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Note from TheChaoticDruid: Ngl the temptation to make this into an Astarion x Maddie (The cat) story is growing. I really think there should be more stories where Star has a cat cause the dynamic is just so cute. Astarion in this story is going to be a bit different because of how I set up that he literally has been through a bunch of different playthroughs that Winnie has done. I'm also planning on diving into the mystery of how the hell this even happened in the first place. Also eventual smut. Yes, it'll be here at some point. Also don't worry Brian's time will come.

Taglist: @the-disaster-in-waiting

[iloveapplejacks]

WET DREAMZ P2

Inspired by Wet Dreamz by J.Cole

“The teacher always got mad so we passed notes

It started off so innocent

She had a vibe and a ***** started diggin' it

I was a youngin' straight crushin' tryna play this shit cool

But a ***** couldn't wait to get to school”

P1 P3 P4

It was English class and Chris was sat with Matt and Nate

Although he wasn't paying much attention to their conversation, his ears pricked when he heard Y/N’s name.

"The new girl is so bad bruh" nate exclaims stretching out his 'so'

"Bro I would tap that any day" Matt says

Both boys noticing that they suddenly caught Chris’ interest, turned to him

"Ain't she in your math class?" Nate asks, Matt leaning in slightly

"Yeah, Y/N is cool" Chris shrugs, wanting to say more but holding himself back.

Truth is, Y/N was more than cool.

In fact she was just perfect and it may have been the intense lust speaking but Chris really wanted her.

"Damn bro, well can you put in a good word with me?I'm tryna see a lil sumn"Nate laughs

"I don't know tbh, don't really know her" Chris shrugs

He knew what he was doing was selfish but he knew that All the girls fell at Nate’s feet and for once, just once he wanted one girl to fall at his feet.

So if that came at the cost of being a little selfish, then so be it.

Nate turned around to reply but the bell signalling the end of the lesson interrupted him.

Chris begins putting his books into his bag and puts it onto his back.

Grabbing his phone and earphones, and beginning to make his way out of the classroom

"Chris!" Someone shouts, causing him to turn around to see who was calling him.

He sees Y/N running over to him and once she reaches him she stops

"Hey Y/N" he says smiling

"We got math, let's go" she chuckles looping her arms with his and beginning to walk.

This catches him by surprise and he looks around to see everyone in the hall way staring at them with shock

the two began walking together until Nate stood in front of them

More specifically, Y/N

"Hey I'm Nate" he says flirtatiously holding his hand out for Y/N to shake

"Y/N" she smiles shaking his hand causing Chris to roll his eyes

"what you heading bro?" nate asks raising an eyebrow to him "Math, matter fact, we are kinda late so if you don't mind." Chris says shooting Nate a fake smile

He loved Nate like a brother but he knew that if he wanted to stand a chance to get to know Y/N Then he'd need to be selfish

"Okay well, I'll see you later, and Y/N it was lovely to meet you" Nate winks at Y/N before moving out of their way

After Nate’s departure, Y/N links her arms with Chris

"It's math time Christopher" she giggles, causing Chris to laugh loudly as the two continued to walk.

They both got to their math class and sat in their usual seats and immediately started laughing and bickering.

“You do realise that i’m teaching math lesson?" Mr Martinez yells frustratedly

"Ok I've had enough, Chris move to the front, and

Y/N move 2 seats down" he instructed

Both of them muttered something to themselves as they moved to where Mr Martinez instructed them to

Once they did, Chris kept calling for Y/N across the room

Both continued to talk to each other via notes for the remainder of the class and before they knew it, the bell signalling the end of the school day rang

"You're all dismissed but Y/N and Chris, I'd like to talk to you for a moment" mr martinez says

Y/N and chris looked at each other with confusion and waited until the class emptied out before walking over to mr martinez

"Now you're both very bright students who I enjoy teaching but you have to cut out this chatter" he says and both nod understandingly

"I just want you both to do really well in this class and that requires a bit of listening, so please I don't want to talk to the both of you about this again" he continues, the two muttering a 'yes sir!

"Okay you're both dismissed”

STOP I ACTUALLY DONT KMOW WHAT IM DOING RN but this song is one of my favorite so why not continue the good stuff is coming soon promise 🙏🏼

[chryseis-lxve]

🍸 NEW YEAR GREETINGS

💬 if i'm being honest, this year has been a wild fucking ride, lol but all of you little pies have been a huge help by simply popping up now and then and being a little ray of sunshine, or by having stuck around for a long time. i genuinely appreciate all of you, and wish you all a lovely year ahead! also, please note that the order of names doesn't matter here XD

@floraldresvi i sincerely appreciate you a lot. when you mentioned that you were grateful i stumbled upon that writing blog of yours, i wanted to mention that such was the play of fate but ig it's too obvious to be worthy of mention. i still hope you write sometimes on that blog, but i can understand why you don't. you always tag me in the loveliest stuff and ask me the most intriguing questions, but sometimes my responses get so long that i forget about it after saving them in my drafts so i hope you know that's not me ignoring you! 😭 i wish to express that both your words and actions are extremely touching and i'm always grateful you entered my life. you're like a ray of soft sunshine, yk? the kind that comforts you and heals you, and i'm always so happy to be around you. your presence itself is a harbinger of joy. after a long and tumultuous year, i just want to remind you that you're also worthy of love and care and affection. please don't forget that.

@rightfate-posts shiro, my lovely!! your words are srsly the most impactful ones. i still remember that day i was feeling depressed as hell, but the words you sent me where like an angel showing light to me who had forgot what it felt like. it was like being reintroduced to love and appreciation, yk? and it isn't just about that specific time either, it's always. your words always have an impact on me, and i often think about you, your health, your likes and dislikes, what you'd appreciate, what you'd love. it's like a spiraling loop, but i'm glad to be stuck. your boundless optimism is contagious, and the way you express yourself and look out for others is heart warming. in a way, you're like a worried friend whose always smothering others with care in spite of their own struggles. i just want you to look after yourself this year, and i wish utmost happiness and joy to you!

@meimeimeirin mei!! our fellow granny 🤝😂 no, but i have stated this many times, and i will state it once again- your sense of responsibility, your optimism, your upright nature and your mindset are all genuinely inspiring. sometimes when i'm sulking i just scroll through your blog for the positivity XD the way you interact with others is proof of your radiance. i just think you deserve the whole world. you're the first friend i made here, and even though we don't interact as much anymore, our convos and laughs remain fresh in my mind. you're of those people you can't get enough of, yk? the best part is that you're a good influence XD i just hope we remain together as friends for a long time!!

@beloved-brynn what should i say about you, you little meme lord. words fail me with the kind of joy i feel when it comes to you. i just don't know what exactly it is about you that makes you so attractive but i've genuinely always thought of you as this shiny little pokémon who didn't know how to perceive itself because it didn't have other shiny little things around itself. i know you're not the best with sappy stuff, but let me be rn, i'm getting emotional 😭😂 on the lighter side, you're a little bundle of joy wrapped up in jokes yk? literally my favourite combo. when you describe the things you like i want to sit down and listen to you forever, because your passions seem to all stem from genuine love and interest. you're one of those people who don't pull too much sarcasm, so you can just be honest and open with them. i trust you a lot, and i srsly love you. like love love you. the reason i emphasize it is because we don't really talk too much emotion, but i just want to let you know because i have the chance to yap rn. i love you a lot, and your works are awesome.

@circeappxteer rhea!! it's always so lovely to speak with you, i can't even describe it. your words are always so laced with care and empathy that i can feel it even when they are just words on a screen yk? i really appreciate you reaching out to me, speaking with me and stuff because ngl i'm not very good with checking up on people and going out of my way to speak with them so i genuinely appreciate you a lot 😭❤ you're a very kind person! unfortunately, we haven't had many opportunities to interact this year, but hopefully the coming year will be kinder to us in terms of free time and opportunities! here's to an year of happiness and lasting memories 🥂

@naraven ven, you're like. CRAZY TALENTED, i hope you know that!! your works, compositions they are all so awesome i just don't even know in what words describe my adoration. i used to learn music when i was younger, a sitar and i always loved it. unfortunately, i couldn't connect with it the way i connected with art but it continued to fascinate me, regardless. in a way, the lack of connection was actually a lack of ability to express myself in notes, strings, tunes and melodies but you can, and i'll never have anything less than pure admiration for you. aside from that, you're an AWESOME person literally 10/10 you're so cute i just want to squish your cheeks XD we didn't have many personal interactions or deeper convos, but i look forward to new moments spent together! let's hope the next year will bring more with itself :D

@cherieiu you cutie pie xue XD if there's any complaint i have against you, then it's that you're always busy so we can rarely interact D: BUT!! i appreciate and respect your sense of discipline a lot! be focused on your studies, it is greatly rewarding! you always get back to me though so i love that XD and you're SO polite and well mannered it's so cute!! regardless, i wish utmost success to you for this coming year! do well in your studies, and go far in life ✨

@pranabefall anya, to me you're like the mutual XD i always think we just get each other, yk? maybe it's because we have very similar backgrounds, but regardless of that i appreciate the connection we have! i always feel like i could say the craziest stuff and you would still get me XD but you also remain dignified, so i appreciate that very much, too! you're a very hard working person, so it's always lovely to see you having fun and letting loose. we haven't interacted a lot, but let's hope it's better in the following year! do take care, though! this year wasn't the most stable, so please look after yourself <3

@euniveve eun, i got to know you only this year, but to say that you're the most intriguing person regardless would be an understatement for the kind of curiosity i hold for you. the way you manage to hold on in spite of all difficulties, the way you outshine struggles, the way you make even the harder things appear simple is simply awe-inspiring to me. your sense of responsibility and the way you carry yourself is genuinely amazing. you're srsly like an elder sister figure to me, and i admire you a lot. above everything else, i relate to you on a lot of aspects and in our thoughts towards various things as well. i really enjoyed the convo we had about ghosts and stuff, so i hope we get more chances like that one! regardless, i hope the next year brings relief from so many responsibilities, or at least gives you the strength to bear them. my best wishes are always with you!

@mochinon-yah YOU!

jokes aside, you're a cutie pie!! literally my baby istg, i read your message on my christmas tree and i wanted to hug you so hard!! i appreciate you in ways i can't describe, mochi. when i said i see you as a younger sister, i was being SO fr i can't even describe it. really. i just want you to be happy and flourish like you deserve! if you ever need advices, any help, any info, know that i'm out there, ready and willing to help to the best of my abilities! and ofc, over everything else, you have my best wishes <3 i hope success, joy and love become your closest companions!

@shinchansbitch you're such a boundless bundle of energy i don't even know how to describe it XD when you express deeper feelings, which is again pretty rare but always welcomed, i always wanna listen to you, understand what you mean and express my own ideas as well. we haven't had a lot of chances to interact previous year, but i hope it gets better in this one. you're literally one of the funniest people i've ever seen! your ability to be authentic, and the small windows of genuinity and vulnerability are cherished memories in my heart. i've been busy so i couldn't interact much with you, but i always end up laughing whenever you pop up on my dash with another of your out of pocket posts. srsly, love you sweetie pie <3

@teabutmakeitazure // @haven-avalon // @harmonysanreads // @stickyspeckledlight all of you are literally amazing people! we don't really talk much on tumblr, but you guys' interactions on the server never fail to make me laugh or catch my attention. hopefully, we have more chances at closer interactions this year! but really, all of you are genuinely nice and kind people, too.

@kazuinvocation os, although we met at a very busy time, and for a very work-kind of purpose, i still appreciate you a lot. i srsly loved your message on my christmas tree. yk, i'm just glad to make others happy so i just felt really happy when you said that. i'm glad to have you in the team, especially because you're also particularly responsible. thank you os, for all the things you do behind the curtain. they're all noticed, and lovingly appreciated!

@pneumosia welcome back yona! we didn't interact at all the last time we were mutuals lol so i don't have much to say, except, let's hope we have more chances this year to come together and interact. i hope you've been doing well, and that the coming year will bring joy and success to you in your endeavours! don;t get too distracted, and focus on your studies. you're running various servers so it makes me concerned sometimes, make sure to study properly. i wish you success!

to all of you: a very happy new year! regardless of how much we have interacted, let's hope the next year brings joy, success and lovely memories for all of us. may the wheel of time bestow joy upon all of us! let's remain together and have many more moments of happiness together!

[wanderingmind867]

When you get this, list 5 songs you like to listen to, publish them, and send this ask to the last 10 people in your notifs

I don't do anything to break my sedentary habits, so I feel indepted to reply (if only so i can tag people and force myself to engage in some forced socialization, the most i'll probably do for days. So, 5 songs...well, i'll them at random:

The Chain - Fleetwood Mac: I sort of have to put this one since i just spent practically an hour listening to it on loop. No, seriously. I was doing a stupid dc character sorter or something, and i couldn't leave the page. So my YouTube backup tab ended up playing the song on loop for an hour.

When the Night Feels My Song - Bedouin Soundclash: This is a song from my childhood. Apparently it was a song the CBC used for their children's programming when I was a young kid, and that's how I discovered it. It's still a great song now, though.

And When I Die - Blood, Sweat and Tears: Another song I inexplicably liked as a kid. I seriously don't know why a song about being unafraid to die appealed to me as a kid, but it did. Maybe I just like the uptempo melody, or maybe i've just always been a very neurotic person who was reassured by a song like this.

Forever and Ever, Amen - Randy Travis: My dad likes this song, and I don't mind it either. It's nice and calming. And you know, I do think that country music was once better than it is now. There were a lot of good singers in that genre, which i know partially because of my dad (who i think likes it because of his dad). But it doesn't seem like there's as much good in the genre now.

Hand Me Downs - Arkells: My mom really liked this band. I personally like them too. They're a good group, probably obscure outside of canada (although i could be wrong about that), and i think they deserve more attention. Some of the songs i think really hit home for my mom.

So there. 5 songs. It just took me nearly six hours to think of all of them. But I did it. Now, to tag some people (i'm not gonna necessarily go by my notifications, i might go more by people i see interacting with me often and/or people i'm mutuals with): @ihauntmyhouse @thewordsmith3 @ltwharfy @billybatsonmylove @c00c00pig @v4guelyv4mpiric @irishskeptic @munchkinmarauder @yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaries @kryptonbabe @marvel-and-moor @berf-a-smurf @0asta0

Oh, and the obligatory gesture i should probably do: thank you for sending me this, @riordanverseaddict.

[pillowspace]

hi! hope ur doing well! out of curiosity, do you have an ISAT playlist? and if so, would you be cool with sharing it? I’ve been trying to find some good songs related to the game and i’m familiar with a lot of the artists you listen to so i figured i’d ask :)

I only just recently joined the In Stars and Time fandom, so I don't have many songs yet, but yeah!

I also started typing out notes under the readmore for (most of) the songs because I thought I'd only have a few, but then I... kept thinking of more songs, so the notes section got bigger? So uh...!! Feel free to read that or not. Up to you, shrug

I actually had not heard this song until my Spotify started randomly playing recommended songs while I was in the middle of drawing Siffrin, and the second I started processing the lyrics about familiarity and time travel, I did a startled glance over like "wh... what's playing??" This song plagues my ISAT visions

---

Genuinely been wanting to make an animatic out of the first minute but I don't know if I have it in me. Just saying, the "smi-i-i-ile" has enough in it to fit every different photo from the mirror

---

FLASHING COLOURS AT THE 3 MINUTE MARK:

One specific thing I have to note with this song is that I like to envision Siffrin waking up in the meadow on the line "the day I wake up naked in the dirt."

---

"The million what if Is between your ears. The feelings of regret, and now I'm running to forget. But know, the consequence of imagination's fear" thinks about Siffrin and Bonnie, thinks about Siffrin and Bonnie, thinks ab-- oh yeah, and the bit about ruby eyes reminds me of 2hats

---

FLASHING AT THE 3 MINUTE MARK AND LOUD POTENTIALLY OVERWHELMING SOUNDS AT THE END:

A song about feeling hurt and giving all that you've gone for an acting performance?? Back to the stage, Siffrin

---

There's some lines that aren't too too fitting for ISAT, but I'm fond of this song, so I can spin a meaning onto them with enough thinking power. Nonetheless, there still are plenty of fitting parts. Post-canon Siffrin coping after the loops :)

---

Interestingly, I've actually had this song associated with going mad from time loops since ages before I played In Stars and Time. "Maddening. It's a regular bad thing" and "nothing's really happening." Plus "I'm afraid to lose you" ties into ISAT pretty well

---

Specifically Loop tends to cross my mind whenever this comes on lately

---

I like to imagine this being about Siffrin as a child on their island being a little wanderer before that meant something else, then it slowly leading into Siffrin's adulthood (bend gravity and space being about the loops)

---

I'll never hear the sound of someone calling me home... I was the beast all alone in my hell........

[psilliguykai]

give me the under my skin hms ramble i think about that song and hms every time i listen to it (song)

Aurghhhhefiwodslnk sorry for the late response but tysm for asking !!! Seriously this made my day - I’m so happy to hear other people agree and are interested in hearing me ramble :D

This got wayyy too long so a bit more context + actual ramble under the cut!

Sorry in advance, I’ve historically been more of an animator/visualizor than a text analyzer so this might seem more like. poorly written notes for a music video rather than a proper assessment lol. 

Also a couple notes:

1: None of this is meant to be “objectively correct” - this is all just how I personally envision the song, but you’re welcome to disagree! Think of this more as “Here’s what it looks like in my brain and if you agree, cool!” rather than “this is what YOU need to think” :]

2: In my futile attempt to keep this a reasonable length, I’ll only be including lyrics I actually have a solid vision for.

3: Under My Skin Heart and Mind art piece which sparked this, for those who don’t have context ^^

Alright let’s get on with it :p

The first section is Soul singing to and/or about Heart and Mind. 

“I can fit two people under my skin”

This is him feeling irritated and fed up with H&M. He’s stuck with these two other people (rather than in the original where one of the two said people is actually the singer, iirc) and their constant bickering. Them and their incessant fighting are getting under his skin. 

“You crawl up in there and join me within” could be daring the audience/new challenges to come and add to his already existing problems perhaps ??

“I can feel your heart beating under my skin

And the beating of your heart is making me bleed from within

And if we cut open your heart, pour it in a cup”

I this is Mind talking to Soul about Heart [getting "under his skin"]. Rather than “cut open your heart” meaning to pour out your emotions, in this case Mind is possibly suggesting violence against Heart. 

“Do you think it'd be enough, do you think it'd be enough

To fill... my heart with music?

Oh no, not a chance in hell

Yeah I've heard you sing but it ain't too well

Heart melts, yeah you meant so well

But your song's no good round here”

Soul gets irritated and interrupts Mind’s suggestions of violence and adding to the conflict. I read this in the tone of like . “Do you really think I’m that gullible? That you could just convince me to hurt him like that? That it’ll help the situation? I’ve heard both your ‘songs’ [as a metaphor for sob stories and lies in teh attempt to sway him] too many times already. Fuck no, and fuck off.”

“I can feel you breathing under my skin

I can feel you breathing under my skin

And each breath you take is a brand new begin

Each breath you take, brand new begin..ing”

Soul is talking about Heart and Mind again, “each breath” being each quarrel and fight and violent action ending up in a reset of the time loop [“brand new beginning”].

“England has a way of getting under my skin

And my family has a way of getting under my skin

And my family had a castle way back when”

Australian erasure; they’re English now [/j!!]

Nah fr though. This is Soul talking, first about the general stressful surroundings/environment which led Whole to split ["England"], then about Heart and Mind, them being his “family” [which isn’t necessarily literal - I feel this can apply regardless of how you see HMS’s relationship] and the “castle” being whole. 

“I don't think there is anyone under your skin

Like a Cheshire cat I think that you are just a grin

And I can feel you laughing, under my skin

And the happy palpitations are making me... grin.”

The Part!! It’s The Part!!! As depicted in the art piece, I see this as Heart singing to Mind and Waugh does it fit so well (in my opinion anyways :3). Heart is telling Mind how he feels despite everything he (Heart) and possibly Soul as well go through, plus everything Heart tries to do to him, Mind remains unfazed. Grinning. Think “but every time I’ve hurt you, or at least tried to, you’ve laughed and smiled instead” from Light. 

A more personal note outside of analyzing the song: I don’t think Mind is truly unfazed. I think either he’s physically unable to stop smiling, he simply grins and laughs through suffering as a natural response, and/or he puts on a facade in an attempt to make himself seem stronger and more mature than heart. Perhaps a somewhat trite and overstated belief in the fandom, but I find it pretty accurate, intriguing, and important :]

Anyways, Mind analysis aside- I see the “happy palpitations” as sarcastic, and referring to the stress and suffering Mind’s presence and the fighting with him puts him through. It causes his (Heart’s) own uh. Heart. To palpitate. I believe “happy” and “grin” are in a bitter sense - he’s so stressed and breaking down to the point where all he can do is grin. It could also be in a completely sarcastic sense, somewhat mocking Mind. Final alternative option is that during the pause before grin, Heart comes to a realization/conclusion and decides to go more strongly against Mind. he decides that rather than fall victim to Mind’s attacks and fighting and mocking, he’ll “transmute the pain to kinetic energy” so to speak (the kinetic energy being stronger defense/attacks against Mind).

“You know it fills my heart with music...

Oh no, not a chance in hell

Yeah I've heard you sing but it ain't too well

Heart melts, yeah you meant so well

But your song's no good round here

Oh no, not a chance in hell

Yeah I've heard you sing but it ain't too well

Heart melts, yeah you meant so well

But your song's no good round heeere no no no no!”

I think this Whole [haha] last section would be cool with all of HMS singing at once. They’re all getting under each other’s skin. They’re each done with and can see right through the others' “songs” [pleas and attempts at cutting down or manipulating one another for control]. None of it's any “good round here” anymore - they’ve each heard it all before and it’s turning them exhausted, irritated, and bitter towards each other.

Thank you again sploon-fic-fan for the ask, this was so much fun :DDD and uh thank you if you read this far!! Sorry it got so long, I get really passionate about animatic-vision-type things and this has been bouncing around in my brain for a while now ^^ if you haven't already, go check out the song Under My Skin by Jukebox the Ghost it's super duper cool and very HMS-coded [see essay above lol] :3

[theshiftingwitch]

Hey!

Lately I've been struggling with manifestation. It dosen't help that right now currently things seem to still be out of place. I so badly want to live the life I've wanted for years now yet why does it seem like it's not happening?

There are so many things I want, perfect skin and body, move into a new home, perfect health, amazing grades especially since I'm in college and need a specific GPA to move up, money e.t.c.

But it's been the opposite, I'm still dealing with these body issues, I'm currently failing a very important class, barely being able to study and tuition is to much, my skin looks bad, I'm still in this house I don't want me and my family to be in

Im trying to persist and not pay anything to the 3d but it's hard dealing with all of this, I feel so behind it literally everything I want to keep going and believing yet I'm not sure anymore.

Im really sorry for writing allow this but I'm just stuck and not sure how continue I'm sick of being jealous and envious of those living the way I want too.

Oh baby, I know the feeling.

It sucks, doing everything you're supposed to do but still waking up to a reality that looks nothing like your desires. It's frustrating, and sucks the motivation right out of your soul.

However, are you really doing everything you need to do ?

There is a lot of "want" in your question, but that's not how the law works. You don't want anything, you already have it.

And you feel like you're behind, but how are you measuring your time? Whose timeline are you on that you feel like you're behind? Because the last time I checked, it's your reality, your desires, your standards. Your time.

So let's do this: take a break for a couple of days. You need to recharge and find your center again. So far all you're doing is pissing yourself off, and that's not good. So take a step back, take a deep breath, and let go of everything you think you know about the law.

After your break is over (timing is up to you, can be a day, can be a week. Just make sure you're resting your body AND mind) restart your journey.

Decide, affirm, persist.

You want your dream body, dream skin, perfect grades, and a different home.

Make a list of all of your desires, and write down 1 to 3 affirmations relating to each one. This will be your manifestation list. Then, record yourself saying those manifestations, and loop that recording and listen to it as you fall asleep. Your subconscious responds to information better when it's in your own voice. That will be your sleeping tape. Repeat a few choice affirmations during the day as you're studying, doing your makeup, cleaning the house, walking to school... Every spare minute you have, fill it with affirmations. This will stop you from spiraling.

Most importantly, ignore what you see around you. The 3d is lagging, what you're seeing is an illusion. Your manifestations will break through eventually, they absolutely have to. But the more you wonder where they are the longer they take because all you're doing is affirming that they're not here yet. Stop that. You already have it all.

You are the only operant power of your reality, Start acting like it.

Happy manifesting ❤️

[someone1348]

hey I'm sure I'm just overthinking this but I saw your post about how you will be blocking that person who you were texting after the spring semester and I just wanted to say I hope you're okay!! (Not asking/pressuring for details of course, I just wanted to reach out!)

Awwww! Thank you, Anon! You're an angel! 🥹🥰 I am okay! I don't mind sharing! But thank you for asking and for the concern!

Tw: Talking about the Devil at one point, and just talk of a man being creepy/intense. Don't read it if those are triggers for you! I'm just venting about what happened!

Basically, I met this guy a few days ago for the first day of the spring classes. We were getting along great, and he seemed nice, so I gave him my number since he asked.

He texted me two days later, we were texting back and forth he was being a little bold right off the bat, but guys never like me, this was the first time a guy asked for my number/me talking to a guy, so I just assumed it was his way of saying he liked me.

Then he was a gentleman and asked me for coffee, so I said yes. Long story short after I said yes, he was acting like we'd been dating for years, basically acting like I said yes to his hand in marriage. I asked him to reel it back with that and the flirting 5 times that night he just never listened.

I got really overwhelmed and scared because of how intense he was being. I'm talking paragraphs after paragraphs of texts from him back to back. So I called it a night before eventually rejecting him last night, which he took it at first, then blamed it on the devil. That the devil possessed him and that it's not him, among other things. He was basically begging me to take him back and start over, which I told him no again politely.

It was the same loop, he took it, then asked me for coffee again he was like "we could maybe go from casual talking to coffee, when we're both ready and healed" etc. He finally took it after the 7th time of me saying no. It was just really intense. Even my friends boyfriend said he was being too extreme and that this was a major red flag.

It was just a lot, and I just didn't want to imagine being alone with this guy. If this is how you're acting within the first conversations with me. We JUST met! If we did date and got into an argument, I would be afraid for my mental and physical safety. I've just been through enough bad experiences/crazy relationships to understand that this wouldn't have been good for me.

I'm probably overreacting, I apologize for venting like this and stuff, but it's just my intuition and how I feel, he just really freaked me out...but I'm okay, especially now that he took the hit! But he's absolutely getting blocked.

Thank you for the concern though, it's nice to come back on here and know that I am a part of such a great community and that I do have friends on here that will back me up and that people do care about me like I do about them! That sounds kinda cheesy, but it's true! I really do love and appreciate this space and everyone on it! Thank you again for the message! It means a lot to me! I hope your day is going so well! You deserve all the blessing, my friend! 🥹🫶💕❤️