#don't make me start with the west end production

[mostlysignssomeportents]

All the books I reviewed in 2024

I reviewed 26 books this year: 15 novels, 5 nonfiction books, and 6 graphic novels. Even though I feel perennially behind on my reading (and objectively, I do have 10 linear feet of "to be read" books on the shelf), I think this is a pretty good haul.

Books are pretty much the ideal gift, if you ask me. Of course, I'm biased as a former bookseller and library worker, and as an author (of course) – I had three more books come out in 2024 (see the end of this post for details).

I started a lot more than 26 books this year. Long ago, I figured life was too short for books I wasn't enjoying, and I'm pretty ruthless about putting books down partway through if I think they're not going to reward finishing them. I probably start 10 books for every one I finish. However, I do review more than 90% of the books I get through. It's rare for me to keep reading a book all the way to the end if I'm not enjoying it enough to unconditionally recommend it. I rarely review books I don't like – there's not really any point in cataloging the list of books I think you won't enjoy reading, and most books I don't like very much are broken in ways that are too banal to comment upon.

The list below is pretty great, but if you're looking for more, here's the haul from 2023:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/01/bookmaker/#2023-in-review

NOVELS

I. Cahokia Jazz by Francis Spufford

A fucking banger: it's a taut, unguessable whuddunit, painted in ultrablack noir, set in an alternate Jazz Age in a world where indigenous people never ceded most the west to the USA. It's got gorgeously described jazz music, a richly realized modern indigenous society, and a spectacular romance. It's amazing.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/04/cahokia/#the-sun-and-the-moon

II. After World by Debbie Urbanski

An unflinching and relentlessly bleak tale of humanity's mass extinction, shot through with pathos and veined with seams of tragic tenderness and care. Sen Anon – the story's semi-protagonist – is 18 years old when the world learns that every person alive has been sterilized and so the human race is living out its last years.

The news triggers a manic insistence that this is a good thing – long overdue, in fact – and the perfect opportunity to scan every person alive for eventual reincarnation as virtual humans in an Edenic cloud metaverse called Gaia. That way, people can continue to live their lives without the haunting knowledge that everything they do makes the planet worse for every other living thing, and each other. Here, finally, is the resolution to the paradox of humanity: our desire to do good, and our inevitable failure on that score.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/18/storyworker-ad39-393a-7fbc/#digital-human-archive-project

III. Jonathan Abernathy You Are Kind by Molly McGhee

A dreamlike tale of a public-private partnership that hires the terminally endebted to invade the dreams of white-collar professionals and harvest the anxieties that prevent them from being fully productive members of the American corporate workforce.

We meet Jonathan as he is applying for a job that he was recruited for in a dream. As instructed in his dream, he presents himself at a shabby strip-mall office where an acerbic functionary behind scratched plexiglass takes his application and informs him that he is up for a gig run jointly by the US State Department and a consortium of large corporate employers. If he is accepted, all of his student debt repayments will be paused and he will no longer face wage garnishment. What's more, he'll be doing the job in his sleep, which means he'll be able to get a day job and pull a double income – what's not to like?

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/08/capitalist-surrealism/#productivity-hacks

IV. The Book of Love by Kelly Link

If you've read Link's short stories (which honestly, you must read), you know her signature move: a bone-dry witty delivery, used to spin tales of deceptive whimsy and quirkiness, disarming you with daffiness while she sets the hook and yanks. That's the unmistakeable, inimitable texture of a Kelly Link story: deft literary brushstrokes, painting a picture so charming and silly that you don't even notice when she cuts you without mercy.

Turns out that she can quite handily do this for hundreds of pages, and the effect only gets better when it's given space to unfold.

It's a long and twisting mystery about friendship, love, queerness, rock-and-roll, stardom, parenthood, loyalty, lust and duty.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/13/the-kissing-song/#wrack-and-roll

V. Lyorn by Steven Brust

The seventeenth book in Steven Brust's long-running Vlad Taltos series. For complicated reasons, Vlad has to hide out in a theater. Why a theater? They are shielded from sorcery, as proof against magical spying by rival theater companies, and Vlad is on the run from the Left Hand of the Jhereg – the crime syndicate's all-woman sorceress squad – and so he has to hide in the theater.

The theater is mounting a production of a famous play that's about another famous play. The first famous play (the one the play is about – try and follow along, would you?) is about a famous massacre that took place thousands of years before. The play was mounted as a means of drumming up support for the whistleblower who reported on the massacre and was invited to a short-term berth in the Emperor's death row as a consequence.

The plot is a fantastic, fast-handed caper story that has a million moving parts, a beautiful prestige, and a coup de grace that'll have you cheering and punching the air.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/09/so-meta/#delightful-doggerel

VI. Till Human Voices Wake Us by Rebecca Roque

A teen murder mystery told in the most technorealist way. Cia's best friend Alice has been trying to find her missing boyfriend for months, and in her investigation, she's discovered their small town's dark secret – a string of disappearances, deaths and fires that are the hidden backdrop to the town's out-of-control addiction problem.

Alice has something to tell Cia, something about the fire that orphaned her and cost her one leg when she was only five years old, but Cia refuses to hear it. Instead, they have a blazing fight, and part ways. It's the last time Cia and Alice ever see each other: that night, Alice kills herself.

Or does she? Cia is convinced that Alice has been murdered, and that her murder is connected to the drug- and death-epidemic that's ravaging their town. As Cia and her friends seek to discover the town's secret – and the identity of Alice's killer – we're dragged into an intense, gripping murder mystery/conspiracy story that is full of surprises and reversals, each more fiendishly clever than the last.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/16/dead-air/#technorealism

VII. The Steerswoman by Rosemary Kirstein

Randall "XKCD" Munroe pitched me on this over dinner: "All these different people kept recommending them to me, and they kept telling me that I would love them, but they wouldn't tell me what they were about because there's this huge riddle in them that's super fun to figure out for yourself. "The books were published in the eighties by Del Rey, and the cover of the first one had a huge spoiler on it. But the author got the rights back and she's self-published it."

How could I resist a pitch like that? So I ordered a copy. Holy moly is this a good novel! And yeah, there's a super interesting puzzle in it that I won't even hint at, except to say that even the book's genre is a riddle that you'll have enormous great fun solving.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/04/the-wulf/#underground-fave

VIII. Moonbound by Robin Sloan

Moonbound's protagonist is a "chronicler," a symbiotic fungus engineered to nestle in a human's nervous system, where it serves as a kind of recording angel, storing up the memories, experiences and personalities of its host. When we meet the chronicler, it has just made a successful leap from its old host – a 10,000-years-dead warrior who had been preserved in an anaerobic crashpod ever since her ship was shot out of the sky – into the body of Ariel, a 12-year-old boy who had just invaded the long-lost tomb.

This is doing fiction in hard mode, and Sloan nails it. The unraveling strangeness of Ariel's world is counterpointed with the amazing tale of the world the chronicler hails from, even as the chonicler consults with the preserved personalities of the heroes and warriors it had previous resided in and recorded.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/11/penumbraverse/#middle-anth

IX. Fight Me by Austin Grossman

Aging ex-teen superheroes weigh the legacy of Generation X, in a work that enrobes its savage critique with sweet melancholia, all under a coating of delicious snark. The Newcomers – an amped-up ninja warrior, a supergenius whose future self keeps sending him encouragement and technical schematics backwards through time, and an exiled magical princess turned preppie supermodel – have spent more than a decade scattered to the winds. While some have fared better than others, none of them have lived up to their potential or realized the dreams that seemed so inevitable when they were world famous supers with an entourage of fellow powered teens who worshipped them as the planet's greatest heroes.

As they set out to solve the mystery of the wizard who gave the protagonist his powers, they are reunited and must take stock of who they are and how they got there (cue Talking Heads' "Once In a Lifetime").

The publisher's strapline for this book is "The Avengers Meets the Breakfast Club," which is clever, but extremely wrong. The real comp for this book isn't "The Breakfast Club," it's "The Big Chill."

https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/01/the-big-genx-chill/#im-super-thanks-for-asking

X. Glass Houses by Madeline Ashby

Kristen is the "Chief Emotional Manager" for Wuv, a hot startup that has defined the new field of "affective computing," which is when a computer tells you what everyone else around you is really feeling, based on the irrepressible tells emitted by their bodies, voices and gadgets.

Managing Sumter through Wuv's tumultuous launch is hard work for Kristen, but at last, it's paid off. The company has been acquired, making Kristen – and all her coworkers on the founding core team – into instant millionaires. They're flying to a lavish celebration in an autonomous plane that Sumter chartered when the action begins: the plane has a malfunction and crashes into a desert island, killing all but ten of the Wuvvies.

As the survivors explore the island, they discover only one sign of human habitation: a huge, brutalist, featureless black glass house, which initially rebuffs all their efforts to enter it. But once they gain entry, they discover that the house is even harder to leave.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/08/13/influencers/#affective-computing

XI. The Sapling Cage by Margaret Killjoy

A queer coming-of-age tale in the mode of epic fantasy. Lorel wants to be a witch, but that's the very last of the adventurous trades to be strictly gender-segregated. Boys and girls alike run away to be knights, brigands and sailors, but only girls can become a witch. Indeed, Lorel's best friend, Lane, is promised to the witches, having been born to a witch herself.

Lorel has signed up for witching just as the land is turning against witches, thanks to a political plot by a scheming duchess who has scapegoated the witches as part of a plan to annex all the surrounding duchies, re-establishing the long-disintegrated kingdom with herself on the throne. To make things worse (for the witches, if not the duchess), there's a plague of monsters on the land, and the forests are blighted with a magical curse that turns trees to unmelting ice. This all softens up the peasantfolk for anti-witch pogroms.

So Lorel has to learn witching, even as her coven is fighting both monsters and the duchess's knights and the vigilante yokels who've been stirred up with anti-witch xenophobia.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/24/daughters-of-the-empty-throne/#witchy

XII. Blackheart Man by Nalo Hopkinson

A story that will make you drunk on language, on worldbuilding, and on its roaring, relentless plot. The action is set on Chynchin, a fantastic Caribbean island (or maybe Caribbeanesque – it's never clear whether this is some magical, imaginary world, or some distant future of our own). Chynchin is a multiracial, creole land with a richly realized gift economy that Hopkinson deftly rounds out with a cuisine, languages, and familial arrangements.

Chynchin was founded through a slave rebellion, in which the press-ganged soldiers of the iron-fisted Ymisen empire were defeated by three witches who caused them to be engulfed in tar that they magicked into a liquid state just long enough to entomb them, then magicked back into solidity. For generations, the Ymisen have tolerated Chynchin's self-rule, but as the story opens, a Ymisen armada sails into Chynchin's port and a "trade envoy" announces that it's time for the Chynchin to "voluntarily" re-establish trade with the Ymisen.

The story that unfolds is a staple of sf and fantasy: the scrappy resistance mounted against the evil empire, and this familiar backdrop is a sturdy scaffold to support Hopkinson's dizzying, phantasmagoric tale of psychedelic magic, possessed children, military intrigue, musicianship and sexual entanglements.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/08/20/piche/#cynchin

XIII. Julia by Sandra Newman

Julia is the kind of fanfic that I love, in the tradition of both The Wind Done Gone and Rosencrantz and Gildenstern Are Dead, in which a follow-on author takes on the original author's throwaway world-building with deadly seriousness, elucidating the weird implications and buried subtexts of all the stuff and people moving around in the wings and background of the original.

For Newman, the starting point here is Julia, an enigmatic lover who comes to Winston with all kinds of rebellious secrets – tradecraft for planning and executing dirty little assignations and acquiring black market goods. Julia embodies a common contradiction in the depiction of young women (she is some twenty years younger than Winston): on the one hand, she is a "native" of the world, while Winston is a late arrival, carrying around all his "oldthink" baggage that leaves him perennially baffled, terrified and angry; on the other hand, she's a naive "girl," who "doesn't much care for reading," and lacks the intellectual curiosity that propels Winston through the text.

This contradiction is the cleavage line that Newman drives her chisel into, fracturing Orwell's world in useful, fascinating, engrossing ways. Through Julia's eyes, we experience Oceania as a paranoid autocracy, corrupt and twitchy. We witness the obvious corollary of a culture of denunciation and arrest: the ruling Party of such an institution must be riddled with internecine struggle and backstabbing, to the point of paralyzed dysfunction. The Orwellian trick of switching from being at war with Eastasia to Eurasia and back again is actually driven by real military setbacks – not just faked battles designed to stir up patriotic fervor. The Party doesn't merely claim to be under assault from internal and external enemies – it actually is.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/28/novel-writing-machines/#fanfic

XIV. The Wilding by Ian McDonald

McDonald's first horror novel, and it's fucking terrifying. It's set in a rural Irish peat bog that has been acquired by a conservation authority that is rewilding it after a century of industrial peat mining that stripped it back nearly to the bedrock. This rewilding process has been greatly accelerated by the covid lockdowns, which reduced the human footprint in the conservation area to nearly zero.

Lisa's last duty before she leaves the bog and goes home to Dublin is leading a school group on a wild campout in one of the bog's deep clearings. It's a routine assignment, and while it's not her favorite duty, it's also not a serious hardship.

But as the group hikes out to the campsite, one of her fellow guides is killed, without warning, by a mysterious beast that moves so quickly they can barely make out its monstrous form. Thus begins a tense, mysterious, spooky as hell story of survival in a haunted woods, written in the kind of poesy that has defined McDonald's career, and which – when deployed in service of terror – has the power to raise literal goosebumps.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/25/bogman/#erin-go-aaaaaaargh

XV. Polostan by Neal Stephenson

Not a spy novel, but a science fiction novel about spies in an historical setting. This isn't to say that Stephenson tramples on, or ignores spy tropes: this is absolutely a first-rate spy novel. Nor does Stephenson skimp on the lush, gorgeously realized and painstakingly researched detail you'd want from an historical novel.

Polostan raises the curtain on the story of Dawn Rae Bjornberg, AKA Aurora Maximovna Artemyeva, whose upbringing is split between the American West in the early 20th century and the Leningrad of revolutionary Russia (her parents are an American anarchist and a Ukrainian Communist who meet when her father travels to America as a Communist agitator). Aurora's parents' marriage does not survive their sojourn to the USSR, and eventually Aurora and her father end up back in the States, after her father is tasked with radicalizing the veterans of the Bonus Army that occupied DC, demanding the military benefits they'd been promised.

All of this culminates in her return sojourn to the Soviet Union, where she first falls under suspicion of being an American spy, and then her recruitment as a Soviet spy.

Also: she plays a lot of polo. Like, on a horse.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/04/bomb-light/#nukular

NONFICTION

I. A City on Mars by Kelly and Zach Weinersmith

Biologist Kelly Weinersmith and cartoonist Zach Weinersmith set out to investigate the governance challenges of the impending space settlements they were told were just over the horizon. Instead, they discovered that humans aren't going to be settling space for a very long time, and so they wrote a book about that instead.

The Weinersmiths make the (convincing) case that every aspect of space settlement is vastly beyond our current or reasonably foreseeable technical capability. What's more, every argument in favor of pursuing space settlement is errant nonsense. And finally: all the energy we are putting into space settlement actually holds back real space science, which offers numerous benefits to our species and planet (and is just darned cool).

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/09/astrobezzle/#send-robots-instead

II. Dark Wire by Joseph Cox

Cox spent years on the crimephone beat, tracking vendors who sold modded phones (first Blackberries, then Android phones) to criminal syndicates with the promise that they couldn't be wiretapped by law-enforcement.

He tells the story of the FBI's plan to build an incredibly secure, best-of-breed crimephone, one with every feature that a criminal would want to truly insulate themselves from law enforcement while still offering everything a criminal could need to plan and execute crimes.

This is really two incredible tales. The first is the story of the FBI and its partners as they scaled up Anom, their best-of-breed crimephone business. This is a (nearly) classic startup tale, full of all-nighters, heroic battles against the odds, and the terror and exhilaration of "hockey-stick" growth.

The other one is the crime startup, the one that the hapless criminal syndicates that sign up to distribute Anom devices find themselves in the middle of. They, too, are experiencing hockey-stick growth. They, too, have a fantastically lucrative tiger by the tail. And they, too, have a unique set of challenges that make this startup different from any other.

Cox has been on this story for a decade, and it shows. He has impeccable sourcing and encyclopedic access to the court records and other public details that allow him to reproduce many of the most dramatic scenes in the Anom caper verbatim.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/04/anom-nom-nom/#the-call-is-coming-from-inside-the-ndrangheta

III. The Hidden History of Walt Disney World by Foxx Nolte

No one writes about Disney theme parks like Foxx Nolte; no one rises above the trivia and goes beyond the mere sleuthing of historical facts, no one nails the essence of what makes these parks work – and fail.

The history of Walt Disney World is also a history of the American narrative from the 1960s to the turn of the millennium, especially once Epcot enters the picture and Disney sets out to market itself as a futuristic mirror to America and the world. There's a doomed plan to lead the nation in the provision of an airport for the largely hypothetical short runway aircraft that never materialized, the Disney company's love-hate affair with Florida's orange growers, and the geopolitics of installing a permanent World's Fair, just as World's Fairs were disappearing from the world stage.

In focusing on the conflicts between different corporate managers, outside suppliers, and the gloriously flamboyant weirdos of Florida, Nolte's history of Disney World transcends amusing anaecdotes and tittle-tattle – rather, it illustrates how the creative sparks thrown off by people smashing into each other sometimes created towering blazes of glory that burn to this day.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/15/disnefried/#dialectics

IV. Network Nation by Richard R John

An extremely important, brilliantly researched, deep history of America's love/hate affair with not just the telephone, but also the telegraph. It is unmistakably as history book, one that aims at a definitive takedown of various neat stories about the history of American telecommunications.

The monopolies that emerged in the telegraph and then the telephone weren't down to grand forces that made them inevitable, but rather, to the errors made by regulators and the successful gambits of the telecoms barons. At many junctures, things could have gone another way.

Most striking about this book were the parallels to contemporary fights over Big Tech trustbusting, in our new Gilded Age. Many of the apologies offered for Western Union or AT&T's monopoly could have been uttered by the Renfields who carry water for Facebook, Apple and Google. John's book is a powerful and engrossing reminder that variations on these fights have occurred in the not-so-distant past, and that there's much we can learn from them.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/18/the-bell-system/#were-the-phone-company-we-dont-have-to-care

V. A Natural History of Empty Lots by Christopher Brown

A frustratingly hard to summarize book, because it requires a lot of backstory and explanation, and one of the things that makes this book so! fucking! great! is how skillfully Brown weaves disparate elements – the unique house he built in Austin, the wildlife he encounters in the city's sacrifice zones, the politics that created them – into his telling.

This series of loosely connected essays that explains how everything fits together: colonial conquest, Brown's failed marriage, his experience as a lawyer learning property law, what he learned by mobilizing that learning to help his neighbors defend the pockets of wildness that refuse to budge.

It's filled with pastoral writing that summons Kim Stanley Robinson by way of Thoreau, and it sometimes frames its philosophical points the way a cyberpunk writer would.

The kind of book that challenges how you feel about the crossroads we're at, the place you live, and the place you want to be.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/17/cyberpunk-pastoralism/#time-to-mow-the-roof

GRAPHIC NOVELS

I. Death Strikes by David Maass and Patrick Lay

"The Emperor of Atlantis," is an opera written by two Nazi concentration camp inmates, the librettist Peter Kien and the composer Viktor Ullmann, while they were interned in Terezin, a show-camp in Czechoslovakia that housed numerous Jewish artists, who were encouraged to make and display their work as a sham to prove to the rest of the world that Nazi camps were humane places.

Death Strikes was adapted by my EFF colleague Dave Maass, an investigator and muckraker and brilliant writer, who teamed up with illustrator Patrick Lay and character designer Ezra Rose (who worked from Kien and Ullmann's original designs, which survived along with the score and libretto).

The Emperor's endless wars have already tried Death's patience. Death brings mercy, not vengeance, and the endless killing has dismayed him. The Emperor's co-option drives him past the brink, and Death declares a strike, breaking his sword and announcing that henceforth, no one will die.

Needless to say, this puts a crimp in the Emperor's all-out war plan. People get shot and stabbed and drowned and poisoned, but they don't die. They just hang around, embarrassingly alive (there's a great comic subplot of the inability of the Emperor's executioners to kill a captured assassin).

While this is clearly an adaptation, Kien and Ullmann's spirit of creativity, courage, and bittersweet creative ferment shines through. It's a beautiful book, snatched from death itself.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/23/peter-kien-viktor-ullmann/#terez

II. My Favorite Things Is Monsters Book Two by Emil Ferris

The long, long delayed sequel to the tale of Karen Reyes, a 10 year old, monster-obsessed queer girl in 1968 Chicago who lives with her working-class single mother and her older brother, Deeze, in an apartment house full of mysterious, haunted adults. There's the landlord – a gangster and his girlfriend – the one-eyed ventriloquist, and the beautiful Holocaust survivor and her jazz-drummer husband.

Ferris's storytelling style is dazzling, and it's matched and exceeded by her illustration style, which is grounded in the classic horror comics of the 1950s and 1960s. Characters in Karen's life – including Karen herself – are sometimes depicted in the EC horror style, and that same sinister darkness crowds around the edges of her depictions of real-world Chicago.

Book Two picks up from Book One's cliffhanger and then rockets forward. Everything brilliant about One is even better in Two – the illustrations more lush, the fine art analysis more pointed and brilliant, the storytelling more assured and propulsive, the shocks and violence more outrageous, the characters more lovable, complex and grotesque.

Everything about Two is more. The background radiation of the Vietnam War in One takes center stage with Deeze's machinations to beat the draft, and Deeze and Karen being ensnared in the Chicago Police Riots of '68. The allegories, analysis and reproductions of classical art get more pointed, grotesque and lavish. Annika's Nazi concentration camp horrors are more explicit and more explicitly connected to Karen's life. The queerness of the story takes center stage, both through Karen's first love and the introduction of a queer nightclub. The characters are more vivid, as is the racial injustice and the corruption of the adult world.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/01/the-druid/#

III. So Long Sad Love by Mirion Malle

Cleo is a French comics creator who's moved to Montreal, in part to be with Charles, a Quebecois creator who helps her find a place in the city's tight-knit artistic scene. The relationship feels like a good one, with the normal ups and downs, but then Cleo travels to a festival, where she meets Farah, a vivacious and talented fellow artist. They're getting along great…until Farah discovers who Cleo's boyfriend is. Though Farah doesn't say anything, she is visibly flustered and makes her excuses before hurriedly departing.

This kicks off Cleo's hunt for the truth about her boyfriend, a hunt that is complicated by the fact that she's so far from home, that her friends are largely his friends, that he flies off the handle every time she raises the matter, and by her love for him.

Malle handles this all so deftly, showing how Cleo and her friends all play archetypal roles in the recurrent missing stair dynamic. It's a beautifully told story, full of charm and character, but it's also a kind of forensic re-enactment of a disaster, told from an intermediate distance that's close enough to the action that we can see the looming crisis, but also understand why the people in its midst are steering straight into it.

Packed with subtlety and depth, romance and heartbreak, subtext that carries through the dialog (in marvelous translation from the original French by Aleshia Jensen) and the body language in Malle's striking artwork.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/25/missing-step/#the-fog-of-love

IV. Bea Wolf by Zach Wienersmith and Boulet

A ferociously amazingly great illustrated kids' graphic novel adaptation of the Old English epic poem, which inspired Tolkien, who helped bring it to popularity after it had languished in obscurity for centuries.

Weinersmith and Boulet set themselves the task of bringing a Germanic heroic saga from more than a thousand years ago to modern children, while preserving the meter and the linguistic and literary tropes of the original. And they did it!

There are some changes, of course. Grendel – the boss monster that both Beowulf and Bea Wulf must defeat – is no longer obsessed with decapitating his foes and stealing their heads. In Bea Wulf, Grendel is a monstrously grown up and boring adult who watches cable news and flosses twice per day, and when he defeats the kids whose destruction he is bent upon, he does so by turning them into boring adults, too.

The utter brilliance of Bea Wulf is as much due to the things it preserves from the original epic as it is to the updates and changes. Weinersmith has kept the Old English tradition of alliteration, right from the earliest passages, with celebrations of heroes like "Tanya, treat-taker, terror of Halloween, her costume-cache vast, sieging kin and neighbor, draining full candy-bins, fearing not the fate of her teeth. Ten thousand treats she took. That was a fine Tuesday."

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/24/awesome-alliteration/#hellion-hallelujah

V. Youth Group by Bowen McCurdy and Jordan Morris

A charming tale of 1990s ennui, cringe Sunday School – and demon hunting.

Kay is a bitter, cynical teenager who's doing her best to help her mother cope with an ugly divorce that has seen her dad check out on his former family. Mom is going back to church, and she talks Kay into coming along with her to attend the church youth group.

But this is no ordinary youth group. Kay's ultra-boring suburban hometown is actually infested with demons who routinely possess the townspeople, and that baseline of demonic activity has suddenly gone critical, with a new wave of possessions. Suddenly, the possessed are everywhere – even Kay's shitty dad ends up with a demon inside of him.

That's when Kay discovers that the youth group and its corny pastor are also demon hunters par excellence. Their rec-rooms sport secret cubbies filled with holy weapons, and the words of exorcism come as readily to them as any embarrassing rewritten devotional pop song. Kay's discovery of this secret world convinces her that the youth group isn't so bad after all, and soon she is initiated into its mysteries, including the existence of rival demon-hunting kids from the local synagogue, Catholic church, and Wiccan coven.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/16/satanic-panic/#the-dream-of-the-nineties

VI. Justice Warriors: Vote Harder by Matt Bors and Ben Clarkson

Vote Harder sees Bubble City facing its first election in living memory, as the mayor – who inherited his position from his "powerful, strapping Papa" – loses a confidence vote by the city's trustees. They're upset with his plan to bankrupt the city in order to buy a laser powerful enough to carve his likeness into the sun as a viral stunt for the launch of his comeback album. The trustees are in no way mollified by the fact that he expects to make a lot of money selling special branded sunglasses that allow Bubble City (and the mutant hordes of the Uninhabited Zone) to safely look into the sun and see what their tax dollars bought.

So it's time for an election, and the two candidates are going hard: there's the incumbent Mayor Prince; there's his half-sister and ex-girlfriend, Stufina Vipix XII, and there's a dark-horse candidate Flauf Tanko, a mutant-tank cyborg that went rogue after a militant Home Owners Association disabled it and its owners abandoned it. Flauf-Tanko is determined to give the masses of the Uninhabited Zone the representation they've been denied for so long, despite the structural impediments to this (UZers need to complete a questionnaire, sub-forms, have three forms of ID, and present a rental contract, drivers license, work permit and breeding license. They also need to get their paperwork signed in person at a VERI-VOTE location, then wait 14 days to get their voter IDs by mail. Also, districts of 2 million or more mutants are allocated the equivalent of only 250,000 votes, but only if 51% of eligible voters show up to the polls; otherwise, their votes are parceled out to other candidates per the terms of the Undervoting and Apathy Allotment Act).

What unfolds is a funny, bitter, superb piece of political satire that could not be better timed.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/11/uninhabited-zone/#eremption-season

As I mentioned in the introduction to this roundup, I had three books out in 2024; a new hardcover, and the paperback editions of two books that came out in hardcover last year. There's more on the horizon – a new hardcover novel (PICKS AND SHOVELS) in Feb 2025, along with the paperback of my novel THE BEZZLE (also Feb 2025). I just turned in the manuscript for my next nonfiction book, ENSHITTIFICATION, which will also be adapted as a graphic novel. I'll also be shortly announcing the publication details for a YA graphic novel, a new essay collection and short story collection.

If you enjoy my work – the newsletter, the talks, the reviews – the best way to support me is to buy my books. I write for grownups, teens, middle-schoolers and little kids, so there's something for everyone!

I. The Lost Cause A solarpunk novel of hope in the climate emergency. "The first great YIMBY novel" -Bill McKibben. "Completely delightful…Neither utopian nor dystopian…I loved it" -Rebecca Solnit. A national bestseller!

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865946/thelostcause/

II. The Internet Con: How to Seize the Means of Computation A detailed disassembly manual for people who want to dismantle Big Tech. "A passionate case for 'relief from manipulation, high-handed moderation, surveillance, price-gouging, disgusting or misleading algorithmic suggestions. -Akash Kapur, New Yorker. Another national bestseller!

https://www.versobooks.com/products/3035-the-internet-con

III. The Bezzle. A seething rebuke of the privatized prison system that delves deeply into the arcane and baroque financial chicanery involved in the 2008 financial crash. "Righteously satisfying…A fascinating tale of financial skullduggery, long cons, and the delivery of ice-cold revenge." –Booklist. A third national bestseller!

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865878/thebezzle/

[maxwell-grant]

I think it’s interesting, considering how most live-action superhero adaptations kill off the villains after their debut, that both The Batman and The Penguin end with the villains not just living, but set up to return and somehow cause Even Bigger Problems down the line. Is this just because it’s the first Batman film adaptation that’s a capital-F Franchise, so the writers need the villains to stick around long-term, or is something else going on?

Almost entirely comes down to the fact that The Batman was not meant to be Batman's origin story - by Reeves' own admission, it was the origin story of the Rogues Gallery. They got the Cloverfield and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes guy and he did a story about the boots-on-the-ground gritty perspective on larger-than-life terrors emerging from the ruins and failings of human civilization, taking the struggles and wars and laborious processes that others shy away from and putting them front in center. It's just this time, instead of kaijus and parasites attacking and destroying the city, instead of apes emerging as the Mad Max warlords rising from the ashes to fight over the world, we have Batman villains in that role instead.

To me, that was actually the conception - if we weren't going to do a Batman origin story, but we were going to do it in the early years, I thought well, in the comics, the rogues gallery characters often are creating their alter egos in response to the fact that a masked vigilante shows up in Gotham called the Batman.

And so I thought, oh well, what we could do is see all of the rogue's gallery characters in their origins, like Selina Kyle before she's Catwoman, and that we could go into, as we're looking for a suspect, we could go to a nightclub, a nightclub could be the Iceberg Lounge and we could see a pre-kingpin Oz, and we could see, you know, a Riddler who is declaring himself the Riddler sort of because there's a Batman. And so all of that was sort of built into the conception. - Matt Reeves

It's far from the first Batman film adaptation to be a capital-F Franchise, even if that aspect was there - Reeves initially pitched the movie as an HBO series, and throughout production pitched additional show ideas such as an Arkham show or a Gotham PD show, The Penguin being the only one that survived as far as we know. This pulls off an origin from the Rogues Gallery better than every other Batman media ever made, and there's a couple of reasons why it does so and why the villains get to take center stage here:

Part of the difference between the way Nolan tackled realistic Batman, and the way Reeves tackles realistic Batman, is that Nolan needs realism to explain Batman, and Reeves needs realism entirely in the service of making Batman weirder. Pattison Batman is the weirdest Bruce ever put on film almost entirely because he lives in our world while still being Batman in every way that counts - Keaton Bats slept upside down in a cave, but he lived in a Tim Burton world. Adam West Bats is weird, but everybody is like that or even weirder than he is, he is the comedic straightman to everyone else. And where as Nolan needs Batman to be the thing that makes sense, Reeves needs Batman to be the thing that doesn’t make sense.

Nolan wanted weird difficult irreducible villains opposite a logical pragmatically sensible Batman, and Reeves wants exactly the opposite. For Nolan, even besides the Joker who was defined entirely around the lack of a real explanation for him, you have his take on Two-Face, Bane, the Al Ghuls, characters that don't demand that much reasoning or explanation because they can act and exist in ways that defy logic, while Batman's the guy who has to hold the center of logic and reason. Where as here, Pattison Batman is the most interesting and complicated and larger-than-life figure this world is dealing with in much the same way that Ledger Joker was for his movie, and everyone else is in the position of starting out and having to deal with Batman and the paradigm shift he brings - nobody else in the movie is quite the character they were supposed to be, that's something they're all growing into in response to their nightmare city and what this titanic freak in armor represents to them.

Even The Riddler is ultimately explainable, human, reducible to his tantrums and vulnerabilities, even without you knowing in-depth his character and backstory that would be elaborated for Dano's Year One. Even The Penguin - he may be larger-than-life, he may be unexplainable on some level, but we know all too well all of his failings and feelings and life story and all the cracks in his persona that he killed Victor to try and bury. But Batman? Next to everyone else, he is still an anomaly, he is just Like That, even to his own detriment and that of the city, and he learns that he must apply being Like That to something better.

Reeves is not interested in doing "Batman vs [X]" movies, the movies are going to be focused on Batman's arc first and foremost, which means the villains will never really take them over the way they've usually done - this is a world where it's the villains who react to Batman, not the other way around. This frees them from the burden of having to exist in direct relation to how much they can directly menace Batman, and it makes it so that these are characters that can carry their own spin-offs, which is probably a lot easier for WB to work with because these are spin-offs that they don't really have to get Pattison to show up for, but they can construct in ways that don't even need Batman to be physically there. Even after The Penguin, they might not have to do that Smallville/Gotham song-and-dance of teasing a main character who'll never get to be here, there are a lot of other things happening in Reeves' Gotham besides the existence of Batman, even if the existence of Batman has changed all of them. So structurally speaking this series has a ton of room for reocurring villains, and building it has been one of their top priorities. In fact, this ONLY gets to do so because the movie already laid out the entire groundwork for them and how it all ties together.

See, the way Batman stories do the rise of a Rogues Gallery and how it affects the city and therefore Batman always follows a sort of a 7-step program:

Gotham City is ruled by crime, crime that takes away the Waynes (Falcone / Carl Grissom (89) / Falcone backed by the League (Nolan) / the Falcone-Hill-Wayne triumvirate (Telltale) / Gotham S1 and first-half of S2)

Crime begats Batman, who beats Crime

Crime + Batman = Weird Crime (Jack Napier becomes Joker after an encounter with Batman (89) / "we still haven't picked up Crane and those other Arkham inmates btw check out this weird card" (Nolan) / Black Mask and the international assassins + Joker's rise (Arkham) / Children of Arkham (Telltale) / the Indian Hill experiments and patients (Gotham)

Weird Crime Replaces Crime (The Long Halloween / Joker takes over the mob (89) / the mob is so impressed by the pencil trick they give Joker all the money (Nolan) / Joker literally replaces Black Mask in the process of becoming Batman's main enemy (Arkham) / Penguin assassinates Mayor Hill and the Children enter a war with Mayor Dent (Telltale) / Indian Hill breakout and Maniax cult and etc (Gotham)

Weird Crime is a Rogues Gallery now (Penguin and Catwoman and Max Shreck in the sequel (Burton) / Joker and Two-Face become separate problems, Bane + Talia + Crane + Catwoman in the sequel (Nolan) / after Origins a whole asylum full of them (Arkham) / Riddler + The Pact and John becoming Joker proper (Telltale) / Gotham S3 with Tetch and Riddler and the Legion of Horribles

The city is changed by the new paradigm

Batman responds / expands or retracts in response to this change

(4 and 5 don't necessarily always happen one before the other, mind you, frequently you do have a Weird Crime Rogues Gallery before Weird Crime replaces Crime at the head of the table)

And you can apply this to most other Batman stories that don't automatically start and stay at level 5. But where as all of these have to stretch the process across sequels and continuations, The Batman is the first Batman work that gets to do all 7 of them in one row. It gets 1 and 2 done offscreen before the opening act and shown to us how they happened throughout the movie's reveals, 3-4-5-6 comprise the Riddler's plot + the other United Underworld members roped into it, and it ends with 7. Even the Batmanless spin-offs follow the process: The Riddler: Year One covers Eddie's perspective on 1-2 as he enters stage 3 and prepares it for the movie, and The Penguin covers 4-5-6, leaving us waiting for Bruce's response back to stage 7 where The Batman ended.

And up until The Batman, the process behind the creation of a Rogues Gallery had never really been much of a process - comics that go into the transition like Long Halloween/Dark Victory just show the fall of Carmine Falcone -> the freaks waiting in the wings causing it or happening immediately after. Gotham tries to work that escalation gradually and it starts relatively "normal", but it's always dancing around the premise and the central black hole and the building blocks don't have anything to do with each other - the gang wars and Penguin have nothing to do with Bruce investigating a conspiracy, which has little to do with Gordon and Bullock investigating weird serial killers who keep escalating, and then eventually we get that Hugo Strange was building freaks in his basement at the orders of the Court/Ra's the whole time until they all just escape. You can piece together how Batman works that aren't about this transition ultimately touch on most of those 7 stages and have their own version of it as soon as they introduce Gotham City in a pre-Batman/pre-villain state, but the connections are always rather tenuous and not necessarily connected to each other (and it's fine, y'know, not everything in a story always has to come from the same source).

But everything in The Batman follows a long chain of dominos that had to happen for this system to become the way it needs to be for Batman villains to emerge. Everything started in that one night Thomas Waynes saved Carmine Falcone, everything started from that ensuing connection and Thomas' failures leading to a city ruled by mobsters for 20 years and the sheer level of rot and corruption and human misery that creates and justifies the existence of Batman, and thus The Riddler in his example. Everything we get in The Penguin is the result of this paradigm shift and total civic collapse, showing the destruction of Carmine's empire as well as his legacies torched and mutated by Sofia and Oz respectively. Everything is still connected. The United Underworld guys featured in the movie live and dwell in entirely separate spaces and represent entirely different things, and they're still all connected in the same chain of dominoes, which allows them to expand and cover entirely separate narrative real estate while still giving it all cohesion.

The movie never has to specifically establish a system full of supervillains or made for them, it has to establish a system so utterly fucked and dominated by Falcone, so utterly failed by every institution and body of government and system imaginable, that it creates Batman, and the minute Batman arrives and survives long enough to be a third power / a fifth state, people in his wake trying to respond to him or do the same things he does, as a response to the same afflictions he faced and to his example or influence, are the only logical thing. Without needing to literally show the other rogues waiting in the wings, The Batman established an entire world of possibility just by very smartly using the 4 big ones + Carmine and showing why and how this regular American city becomes a place where supervillains bombing city blocks and running for political office can become a facet of daily life. Joker, Penguin, Catwoman and Riddler - positioned as separate from each other as possible to show the ways in which this is, and maybe always has been, spreading fast out of Batman's control.

And now with The Penguin, reinforcing the chokehold of crime in the city in it's old ways as well as the corrupt mutated new ones brought on by our boy, as well as a new Batman Villain (possibly two, if Eve Karlo ever gets her hands on suspicious make-up) arriving from Penguin's side of things so that it's not just Batman who has a Rogues Gallery to deal with, not just Batman who has terrific enemies waiting in the wings for a chance to enact their own forms of justice and revenge, no, that's just what life is like in Gotham now, forever.

[maidragoste]

Things I think Jacaerys Velaryon would do if he were your boyfriend

This whole week I was thinking about Jacaerys so I ended up writing this

Reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated. I hope you like it 🥰🥰💕💕

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.

•Let me tell you that if English is not your first language then Jacaerys LOVES it when you speak in your native language. He is always very curious about the difference between their languages, he asks you if some words have a different meaning in your country. I see him going to the supermarket with you and at some point he starts asking you what they call a certain product in your country.

•Jace would work hard to learn your native language. Most of the time his pronunciation is clumsy but every time you hear him speaking in your native language you feel like you fall in love with him ten thousand times more.

The word he knows how to say best is "I love you" because he never stops saying it to you.

•If you are vegetarian or vegan I can see Jace searching the internet for good places to go eat together. He loves trying new food with you.

Plus his house is always stocked with a couple of vegan products. One time he got mad at Luke because when you came to see him there were no more of your vegan cookies left because his brother ate them and didn't tell him.

•Sometimes when you feel like painting your nails but you're in lazy mode Jace ends up being the one to do it for you. The two of you talk nonsense while he carefully runs the polish over your nails.

•Every time he sees a tik tok from a series or a book that he knows you like, he sends it to you.

•Whenever you're too caught up in studying, Jace reminds you to hydrate and eat something. Most of the time he orders something from your favorite fast food place to give you a pamper after so many hours of studying.

•I see Jacaerys as someone very touchy. Every time you go out together he can't be without holding your hand or his hand around your waist or at least hugging you by the shoulders. He needs to have you close.

•After seeing your reaction to letting his hair long. Jacaerys stopped wearing it short. He loves seeing how nervous you get every time he catches you staring at him. He always teases you by making you pout and he loves kissing you.I only know that Jacaerys pretends to forget his clothes at your house but in reality, he does it on purpose because he loves to see you later wearing his clothes.

•My man has two playlists about you. One with all your favorite songs and another with the songs that make him think of you. In the latter there are these songs:

"You can hear it in the silence, silence, you

You can feel it on the way home, way home, you

You can see it with the lights out, lights out

You are in love, true love" — You Are in Love, Taylor Swift.

"Cause all of the small things that you do

Are what remind me why I fell for you

And when we're apart, and I'm missing you

I close my eyes and all I see is you

And the small things you do" — Those Eyes, New West.

"I wanna be your vacuum cleaner

Breathing in your dust

I wanna be your Ford Cortina

I will never rust

If you like your coffee hot

Let me be your coffee pot

You call the shots, babe

I just wanna be yours" — I Wanna Be Yours, Arctic Monkeys.

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

(I can never look away)

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you— Daylight, Taylor Swift.

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[staytinyville]

OUTLAW (32)

ATEEZ poly!ot8 x Reader

Cowboy AU / Wild West

Series Masterlist

Warning: smut(MDNI for you safety and mine), piv, fingering, cum play if you squint,

A/N BETA READ (@mariana-mmtz). HEHEHE. We love smut

Your mother was sobbing into your shoulder as you had her in a tight hug. Your sister was wiping at her own tears while trying to pull a crying brother from Wooyoung. It was officially the end of the day, which meant you were going to be leaving with the boys. For good now. 

You weren’t going to come back home for a long while and sleep in your bed again. Your sister was going to have her own room now, which you tried to bribe her with. Even if she laughed and said she was turning your side of the room into a crafting part, she still held you tightly and wished you well. 

“Please stay safe.” Your mother pulled back. “Make sure to always clean your face after you wake up. And don't use too much cleaning products on the floor or else it will mess up the floorboards-”

“I know mom.” You laughed. “I grew up with you.” Tears welled in your eyes once more. “Thank you for teaching me everything.”

“I love you so much.” She cried again, hugging you.

“I love you too.” You tightly pulled her to you, wanting to make it last just a bit more.

It wasn’t going to be the last time you would ever see your mother, however this was much different now. You were a wife now and were going to start your own life outside the only family you knew. 

With one last smile and a wave over your shoulder, you hopped onto Yeosang’s horse. The boy gave a bright smile and waved goodbye, chasing after the boys. As the wind hit your face on the ride, you snuggled into Yeosang’s back, rubbing your cheek against him. You could feel him chuckling at your affection, but he knew that you were just trying to feel better about leaving your family. 

Once at the camp, the boys let go of their facades and quickly huddled closer to you. 

“You're officially ours, Sweetheart!” Wooyoung pulled you down from the horse, causing you to laugh from how he twirled you around. 

“Too late to back out now!” As Wooyoung put you down, Seonghwa grabbed onto your chin and pulled you into a kiss. 

You let out a loud squeak, not expecting him to do that. “Seonghwa!” You blushed, looking away from the boys. 

“I couldn't wait!” He grinned, hugging you from behind. 

“Enough, let the married couple rest.” Hongjoong teased. “They deserve their first night together alone.”

“Awe, and I was gonna ask to join.” Yunho laughed. 

All the boys began to playfully punch at the tall man, causing a loud laugh to fall from your lips. Things were going to be much different now. But you knew no matter what they weren’t going to change how they felt about each other. 

“Come on, Honey.” Yeosang pulled you along. 

The boys all gave you a goodnight, whistling as Yeosang took you to his tent. He shared it with Yunho, but since the boy had been staying in the hotel, he had it to himself. As you walked in, you began to take off your things slowly, wanting to give your mother back her dress later. 

“Would you like some help?” He asked, having already taken off his clothes and stood in his undershirt. 

“Sure.” You smiled, turning so he could unbutton the dress. As his fingers uncovered more of your skin, you felt a delicate touch going down your back. You smiled in bliss, allowing yourself to feel free for a moment.  

“Thank you.” You breathed out, turning around to face him. 

“No problem.” He smiled, moving about the room. 

You held the front of the dress to your chest, picking up some sleep wear your mother had gifted you for the wedding. You took in a breath when you noticed how short it was going to be on you. With your back turned to him, you pulled on the clothing, allowing it to flow down. 

“Come lay with me.” He spoke up, looking at you as he leaned back on his arms. 

As you bounded over with a smile, you made yourself comfortable at his side, the man laying down fully so that he could hold you better. You snuggled closer to his side, letting him pull you over his naked chest. He had laid back with an arm behind his head, staring up at the tent’s roof. 

You felt your cheeks grow warm at the soft skin, probably heating the both of you up. But still you allowed yourself to move on instinct, pulling your arm around his chest to the other side. Your leg moved on its own accord, lifting to place itself across his waist. 

“I've never done this before.” You quietly spoke. 

“Cuddles?” He chuckled. 

“Slept with a man.” You answered truthfully. “Well, not until you guys; but this is different.” You told him. 

“How so?” He asked you.

The first time you had slept in the arms of a man had been with Wooyoung and San. You hadn’t really put much thought into it because you had just gotten into a fight with your parents and needed the comfort of someone hugging you. 

Now, though, all you could think about was Yeosang pressing you tightly to him and letting his hand run down your head. Not only that, but he was also naked–you could feel his skin touching yours, and it left you dizzy. 

However, you weren’t questioning that part. You were thinking about how you weren’t just with Yeosang. They hadn’t explicitly told you what you all were, but it was clear that they all thought of you the same way. If it was anything to go by, with the kiss Seonghwa had given you earlier.

You weren’t just Yeosang’s wife–even if on paper it said you were. You had no idea what to call yourself. What to call the entire thing. 

“What are we?” You turned to look up at him, hand splayed out on his chest. 

“A husband and wife.” He answered you, a teasing smile on his face. When he saw your questioning look he sighed, knowing you weren’t just talking about him. “Whatever you want to be. No one is asking you to put labels on them.” He gave your arm a soothing rub. 

You kept your eyes on him. He had gone back to laying his head on his hand, closing his eyes. You realized that you hadn’t spoken to Yeosang about the whole thing. You knew your own feelings over it, and so did they. But Yeosang had been the one to suggest marriage, and you assumed it was because he just wanted to get you out of that situation. You haven’t asked him what he truly felt over the whole thing. 

“I haven't heard your thoughts about everything.” You told him. 

“What do you mean?’ He asked you.

“You married me, but I haven't heard you say what you wanted.” You leaned up, turning on your stomach to face him better. “Did you really want to get married, or is it just a heat of the moment thing you said to protect me?”

You felt him sigh, fingers moving to trace patterns on his collarbone to soothe him. He moved his arm away from you, placing both of them behind his head. It took him a bit to gather his thoughts, which worried you that he didn’t really want to tell you the reason behind his motive.

“I always felt like a bird in a large cage.” He started, eyes opening back up. “Free enough to fly, but still caught between their hands.”

You frowned as you thought about whom he could have meant. 

“But then I met the others and my life opened up in new ways.” A smile grew on his face. “I was free to be my own person. I was free to explore my own versions of music.” 

You remembered how Seonghwa had told you about Yeosang’s ability to play the violin. You were going to have to ask him about it later. 

“My family always forced me to do things they wanted. I was never able to do my own things outside their jurisdiction.” He suddenly began to frown again. “That also involved marrying who they wanted.”

He shook his head, looking over at you. “I had such a negative connotation around marriage because I knew since I was a teen they would force me with some rich girl. When we ran away from our old lives, my family had arranged for me to get married. I escaped them before meeting her.” He ended. 

“I'm sorry your family thought that way.” You whispered. 

“It led me to you, didn't it?” He leaned up on his elbow, brushing his fingers through your hair.  “To be honest, marriage was probably the last thing on my mind, but if I had to fake marry someone, I'm glad it's you.” He smiled. 

“The certificate says otherwise.” You teased. 

“That means you're now (Y/N) Kang.” He rolled on top of you, turning you on your back.  “What a name!” He beamed, keeping his weight on his arm to hover near you. 

“You're right.” You laughed, looking up at him. “I can say I belong to you now.”

“To all of us.” Yeosang leaned down, rubbing his nose against yours. “You're part of ATEEZ now.”

Your lip wobbled from the emotions you were feeling, trying to pull it off with a smile. “I like that.”

You moved a hand up to Yeosang’s cheek to pull him down for a kiss. It was as soft as you would think Yeosang would kiss. However, he still put in effort to make you feel his emotions. He was soft but dominating. Just enough to have you breathless. 

You pushed up from the bed, leaning on your elbow as you shoved Yeosang lightly on his back. With the feel of his skin on yours and his dizzying kisses, you made the effort to climb on top of him, having a shiver go down your legs at the feel of your thighs touching his. 

“Hey, we don't have to do anything-” He pulled back when he noticed you moving over him. 

“I'm not experienced, my first kiss was literally a week ago, I got no clue when this adrenaline will wear off, but I've been edged so many times I'm ready to get things going.” You told him, sitting up straight. Your chest was rising and falling quickly, eyes wide as you tried not to think too much about the technicalities. 

“So please, Yeosang—can you be my first?” You asked him. 

He quickly sat up, pulling an arm around your waist. He held your cheek in his palm softly, rubbing his thumb across it. “I'd be honored.”

He lips touched yours again, this time pressing harder against you. You felt his nose bumped against your cheek, his teeth clashing against yours. He had suddenly become much more aggressive with his kiss, however he still somehow found a way to be soft. 

He wasn’t being careful with how his touch affected you, he allowed himself to feel the desire pooling in both of your bodies. His arms wrapped themselves completely around your back, pushing you up towards his hips. You flinched when you felt something rubbed between your thighs. 

It brushed up against you, making you moan, pulling back as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Yeosang took the moment you dropped your head back to kiss at your skin. His lips softly brushed over your neck, making you shiver from the touch. 

With each movement you made, it rubbed up against Yeosang’s bulge, causing him to grip onto your hips to stop your movements. He pulled back from your neck, breath coming out harsh as he dropped his head onto your chest. 

“Are you okay?” You asked him, trying to pull his head up to look at you.

“I’m fine, Honey.” He grinned up at you, eyes hooded. “Just trying to hold back.”

“Why are you?” You asked him.

“Because this is your first time. I’m not about to make you go through that.” He answered. 

You furrowed your eyebrows, pulling on his cheeks to make him look at you. “Yeosang, I don’t want you to treat me like glass.” You told me. You sighed, looking away and feeling flustered. “I’ll tell you when you should slow down.”

Yeosang shivered, hands tightening into the fat of your hips. With one last breath out, he slotted his lips back onto your, harshly pulling you up on his lap. You squeaked out, trying to keep up with his kisses. 

A gasp fell from your lips when he suddenly got up on his knees and wrapped your legs around him, turning you on your back. You were going to plant your feet back onto the mat, but Yeosang scooted up on his knees, causing your legs to hook around him.

He was leaned over, still attached to your lips as his arms hooked under your knees, causing a burning sensation over your cheeks. His hips began to move in a very subtle motion, rubbing up against your core. You dropped your head down, panting over the stimulation. Your legs twitched, wanting to close to relieve the ache that was building up. 

“Ah…” You panted, trying to catch your breath. Your fingers moved to the blanket, gripping them. Your back arched into the bulge between you and Yeosang find yourself seeking out more movement. 

“Patient, Honey.” He whispered to you, shuffling back and causing you to whine.

He dropped your thighs onto the floor, moving them so the rest of your legs were over his shoulders as he moved further down. Your knees knocked together and thighs began to rub together, feeling the hot heat soak between them. Yeosang however pulled your knees apart again, sticking his head over and onto your stomach. 

His fingers began to move your underwear band, digging themselves into the skin of your hip bone as more was revealed to him. Your chest was thundering from the feeling of his hands moving up and down your thighs. It was something you had never felt before and you were starting to feel embarrassed from how you chased after Yeosang’s hands every time they would move too far away from you. 

You shut your legs once more and sat up with a gasp as he pulled your underwear to your knees. Yeosang got caught in the fabric of your underwear when you had pulled him away from your core. You would have laughed if it wasn’t for the blistering heat you felt on your face. Your hands flew to your private area, covering it up.

“What are you doing?” You asked, shifting around causing your underwear to fall to your ankles. 

“I’m prepping you?” Yeosang questioned, tilting his head to the side. 

“But like–you’re not supposed to be looking.” You shyly told him. 

“What do you know about sex?” Yeosang asks you, curious about what you were thinking. 

“Well the women usually say it does feel good but that their husbands are almost always on top. And-And sometimes they go down on them.” You stutter out, wanting to curl up into a ball having to explain it to him. 

He laughed loudly. “You can do that, yes. But just like you can go down on me, I can go down on you.”

“How?” You whispered. 

“I’ll show you.” He whispered, leaning over to lightly touch his lips with yours. He moved your knees apart again, slotting himself between your thighs. One of your legs pulled out from your underwear, causing it to hand off one ankle. 

You shivered at the air that was exposed to your pussy, but you still moved your hips to get some sort of friction. Yeosang placed a hand on your knee, slowly pulling it down as his lips ghosted across your skin. 

“Trust me.” He whispered before dipping down. 

You fell onto your back, allowing him to skim his lips over your covered chest. Your back arched again as he continued his way further down again. This time though, he had pulled your night shift up and under your breasts. His skin would brush against your inner thighs as he moved down, which made you want to clamp them shut again.

However, Yeosang was quick to lay down on his stomach, head resting on your lower tummy. His shoulders passed your thighs, digging themselves into the back of your skin. When he raised his head off you, you shut your eyes tightly as he looked down. 

You couldn’t look him in the eyes as he stared down at your sex. So you opted to look up at the tent. However, the moment something gently touched your folds, you flinched and your back arched. You gasped out, laying back down and looking down. 

Yeosang was watching your reactions, eyes wide as he took you in. His fingers were hovering over your core, twitching to feel more. You dropped your head down, gulping. 

“Please.” You quietly pleaded, wanting to feel more. 

He didn’t bother to go slow this time, his fingers full on touching you instead of just the tips. He allowed his hand to explore, trying to find out where you could feel the most pleasure. Your gasps and quiet moans had him panting. You kept moving your hips up, bringing him down to your hole. While he was trying to search for something, the way your sex would swallow the tip of the finger every time you moved upwards left him mesmerized. 

He found out by the way you kept moving his hand to that same spot, it was where you wanted him. So with slow movements, he allowed his finger to sink in. This caused you to gasp loudly. He looked up, trying to determine if you were okay with it. 

You were shaking, which made him grip your thigh tightly with his free hand. Your hands were shaking, knuckles white from the grip you had on the sheets. As your hips kept moving over his finger, he decided to add another one. You squeaked out more, eyes shut tightly and gasps coming out sounding like cries almost. 

Yeosang had to clench his hand tightly to keep from just moving his hand too fast. He allowed you to move at your own pace, feel used to the intrusion. As you arched your back and his fingers went in deeper, he touched the rough patch inside of you. 

Your vision went black as your core pulsed. You didn’t know if you had screamed, but you knew you pulled away from Yeosang’s fingers to keep from being overstimulated. Your legs shook and tightened, trying to get the feeling to calm down. 

Yeosang sat back on his calves, palming at his bulge as he watched you continue to cum untouched. His mouth was wide open, watching your sex twitch. He pulled out his shaft, moving to take off his underwear. He crawled back over to you, kissing your cheeks to bring you back to him. 

“One more?” He asked you.

“One more?” You questioned him, panting. 

“One more.” He told you, looking down at his cock. 

Your eyes followed his gaze before immediately looking back up at him, flushed. Your hands moved up to grip onto his shoulders, wanting to stabilize yourself as you tried not to think too hard about it. 

“I’ll go slow.” Yeosang whispered, kissing your lips softly. “I promise.”

You nodded, closing your eyes for a moment. One of his hands reached down between you two, touching your hot core again. You squeaked, flinching from the feeling. He took some of your slick and covered himself in it, holding his shaft at the base. 

“Relax.” He whispered, kissing around your face. 

You smiled softly at how he kissed your eyes and your nose. He moved his lips to your cheeks, when he began to press himself into you. You hummed in discomfort but tried not to flinch as he pushed in deeper. He kissed you the moment he saw your pain. 

The moment you felt a pop and Yeosang slip the rest of the way in, you let out a scream, trying to pull away. But Yeosang kept you close to him, dropping down to press his chest with yours. 

“It’s okay.” He whispered to you, panting into your ear. “I’m not going to move until you tell me to.” He spoke soothing words to you, trying to get you to think of something else. 

While the stretch was painful at first, you found yourself succumbing to liking the pain. Your cries turned into pants and your hands began to roam around Yeosang’s back. When he felt you loosen up, he slowly lifted himself. He felt you twitching around him, causing him to shut his eyes tightly to keep from thrusting when you weren’t ready. You were wrapped tightly around him to the point where he could feel himself pulse. 

���Good girl.” He praised when you started to unclench around him so tightly. 

However, his eyes quickly went wide when he felt you clench him for a moment at the praise. He looked down at you, trying to keep from smiling at the notion. “Hey, you’re doing amazing. You feel absolutely perfect, Honey.” 

You almost frowned at his game. But his words were shooting straight down to the bubble building up. “God, I can’t wait to move. You’d feel nothing but pleasure if I can help it. All I want is for you to feel good.” His voice was deep and husky, and it had you feeling stimulated. 

“Move.” You whispered, hips barely moving. “Please.”

He nodded, but only moved his legs apart to get you a little more used to him. “Yeosang.” You cried, moving your hips more aggressively now. 

“Anything for you, Honey.” You saw stars when he began to thrust his hips forward. 

Every time Yeosang would thrust forward, your breath would leave your body. It was getting hard to breathe, even if he was going slow. It was an experience you had never felt before and you were crying over it. 

Yeosang’s pants and little moans had your stomach tightening. You would cry out every time you heard his whines. His hands were placed by the side of your head, forehead pressed to yours. Sweat had formed between the two of you and your slick was dripping out of you, but you didn’t care about the mess. 

Yeosang pulled back, sitting up just enough to look down where you had been connected. He didn’t realize he had slipped and allowed a partially harsh thrust to hit you. You cried out, scratching at his shoulders. He quickly looked up, eyes wide in worry. 

“I’m fine.” You breathed out. “Please. I’m almost there.” Tears were slipping down your cheeks, your throat dry from all the panting. 

With your words in mind, Yeosang began to move faster, trying to get you to reach your high just as his was approaching. He tried to think of other things as he waited for you to say something. When he felt your legs clench around him, he quickly looked down, seeing the ring of white forming at the base of his cock. 

“Let go for me.” He whispered breathlessly to you. 

He basically let out a roar as your core clenched around him tightly, hips stuttering as he approached his high. As you cried out and pushed him away, it gave him the good moment to pull out and stroke himself over your stomach. 

Your legs twitched as your orgasm hit you again, this time a bit harder. Your pussy throbbed and clenched over nothing, making you sigh and fall numb almost. Yeosang came with a groan, his warm seed hitting your thighs. 

You looked down at yourself, watching as it came out of him. Your fingers moved to touch the substance, rubbing it into your skin. 

“No. No.” He panted out, wiping at the sweat on his face. He grabbed your wrist, taking it away from his cum. He couldn’t stand to watch you play with it. 

Yeosang looked around his tent, trying to find something to clean you up with. He ultimately used a dirty shirt to clean you up, gently cleaning between your legs as well. You moaned out from the overstimulation, trying to run from it. But Yeosang cooed at you, telling you how good of a wife you had been. 

It made you stop squirming, flushing from the praise. 

As he finally settled down, he pulled you back into his chest, making sure your legs were fine. You were going to be sore later, but at the moment you honestly enjoyed it. A lot. 

Series Masterlist

[dis-astre]

BREAKDOWN OF LES MISÉRABLES IN FRANCE : ACT I

- they use the almost same costumes as the west end which... great bc sometimes france tends to make....... weird choices concerning their costume department for musical shows

- lots of projections for the decor, the set was very sleek, but they used it well

- javert was on point, props to the actor honestly he was one of the best thing of the show

- the actors in general were hitting those notes like craaaaazy, they were all so good

- the thenardier got me laughing uncontrollably, they were perfect and master of the house was *chief kiss*, people dancing on the tables, a lot of things were going on in the background which added to the chaos which was perfect

- master of the house is disgustingly perfect in french

- they were little kids in the audience and i don't think the parents were rlly aware of the show bc... well first the language is rlly crude (even more than the last french version), and they have sex on stage at some point in lovely ladies???? (honestly don't remember if this was in the west end version circa 2019 pls if u know enlighten me)

- the kids playing eponine, cosette and gavroche were so great they got a standing ovation and all

- for the confrontation, javert has a rifle and they basically play hide and seek like valjean hides from javert in the hospital and javert hunt him and the nurses are trying to help valjean (at some point one hides the gun under the bed of a patient and it's was funny)

- THEY MADE MONTPARNASSE SO GAY?????? LIKE????? bro was this big tall twink behaving like 💅💅🌈✨✨💃💅🌈💃✨✨💅 guuuuuurl, he was so coquette i stg, so that was fun

- les amis were >>> amazing, loved them sm ! it was really less gay and enjoltaire than the english production and overall the choices made were real different from what i had seen before and i loved that; i think it comes from the fact that french ppl tend to stay more "true" to the original work especially with such an important book as Les Mis but i'll explain myself more in act II

- in the beginning of abc cafe, R is drinking from a bottle and Enj just casually pass by him and grab the bottle before physically sitting him down

- R proceeded to try and grab the bottle from everyone and they were all exchanging the bottle to get it away from him

- he also was ALWAYS talking and laughing with les amis and making jokes like trying to shake hands with one of them and then retracting his hand last moment, childish plays and so cute to watch them laugh and interact like that

- when enjolras started talking, R stopped everything and put his chin in his hands and started looking at him with stars in his eyes and the biggest smile (he was so hot pls help) and that was so cute

- "marius you're late" was said in the most annoyed french tone and i love it

- after R verse and "it is better than an opera", everyone was clapping and enjolras was sulking in a corner, and one of the amis (presumably combeferre) went "OH SHUSH" in the most Dad Voice ever to shut everyone up and proceed to motion to enjolras to come back and talk

- R casually jumping on chairs

- R never got his bottle back so he proceed to open a book, read it and tried to show everyone what he was reading and talked about the book; and idk i loved that yes show how much of a yapper and actually a smart man my guy is

- i finally got to hear what they say for the "general lamarque is dead" part bc it's never on any album and it's really so close to the english version, except instead of saying to R "do we have the guns we need?", enj say something along the line of "R put the bottle down and chose a weapon" and R goes basically like "oh no needs my breathe will kill two in one blow" so pretty close to the english verse and i love it

- do you hear the people sing was amazing with the new lyrics

- they changed a lyric in one day more and i'm so SO glad they did bc i HATED it, so basically in french we have "you" meaning "tu/toi" as like a singular individual or you say "tu/toi" to a close person; and "you" as "vous" as like more than one person or you say "vous" to someone you don't know/respect. and in the original version for "my place is here, i fight with you" marius say "ma place est là, auprès de toi" and now he says "auprès de vous" and that's SO MUCH BETTER bc the original lyric is like... who tf is "toi" bc it's not a plural so is it cosette ?? which is inaccurate, or is it enjolras ?? which doesn't make any sense at all bc he fight with all of les amis, not just one ??????? so yeah, one of the best lyric change they've made

anyway here's some pro shots and i'll make a part II later for act II byeeee

[greenerteacups]

What did you think about Katara and Aang ending up together? Did you ship them or Zutara?

Also, if you watched The Legend of Korra, what did you think of that show’s treatment of Katara’s character?

My beloved friend in Christ, look me in the eye and tell me you don't know what I shipped when I watched that show. Look at me. You know. You know damn well.

AS FOR KATARA IN KORRA for me the key part of accepting her character shift in the second series is that she's supposed to be like 90. I don't know anybody who doesn't seriously chill out when they're 90. She's pretty much at the end of her life. Her husband's dead, her brother's dead, Toph fucked off to live in the swamp, Suki has been erased from the collective consciousness a la Spiderman, and ninety-something Zuko is off somewhere riding around the country on a DRAGON in full ceremonial garb, doing recon missions for the new avatar and hunting terrorists. (That last one is awesome, and I have no notes. That boy's doing what he's meant to. I still think they should kiss. But that's not a writing critique, that's just what my heart feels is true and good.)

More generally, the sequel series doesn't give us much of the passion or lovable high-handedness she had in the original, but she was also a teenager. I have to give the writing space to bend and stretch around a 70-year time jump, and that leeway includes the possibility that Katara majorly chills out once her home is no longer under imperial occupation and she's not regularly enlisted in armed combat to defend the fantasy Buddha. Or she just got it out of her system and tapped out around 30 to have kids and live luxuriously off whatever gratitude-annuities she gets from Every Nation In The World. I like to imagine she had some adventures in her 20's and 30's leading the reconstruction effort in the Earth Kingdom, made a reasonable contribution to the waterbending academies in Republic City, decided that she could leave the rest to Sokka and Toph, and went home to enjoy life at home in peacetime. It's not the most dramatic or glamorous life, but I never get the idea that Katara wants either of those things. I think girl did her part, got her happy ending, and decided to stay there. Frodo sailing West at the end of the book? Couldn't be her! The Shire was saved, but not for you? Nope! Not here! Not Katara! She can go back to the Shire, thank you very much! She freed her homeland from a century-long imperial occupation, and she's going to march her ass home and enjoy it, thank you! Fighting the Red Lotus? Leave a voicemail. She's out teaching all the girls in the village to throw ice spears the size of a pike. She will Catch You Guys Later.

I've heard complaints that it feels like Katara didn't have any role in the post-imperial reconstruction process, and while she maybe doesn't found an institution or get a formal position of power, I think the real complaint is that we don't know enough about her to say. All the other Gaang members have a Thing that sort of represents what their goals and values were after the end of the first series. Zuko was Fire Lord (and got a sickass fucking dragon), Toph started the Republic City police (admittedly unexpected Lawful Toph Moment), Sokka becomes a city councilor for R.C. and then Chief of the Southern Water Tribe, Aang refounds the Air Nomads and also is the Avatar for the next 70 years. Which are visible and lasting marks of impact that make it easy to imagine how the others spent their time. That doesn't mean Katara didn't spend her time doing worthwhile and productive things, but we don't see them. We do know that she got bloodbending outlawed in the United Republic, and she became a "master waterbender" who's called in to consult on Korra's development both in her capacity as a martial arts expert and in a broader strategic/political way as one of the premier living experts on what it takes to be the Avatar. We don't see her much, but we do get the idea that she has plenty of respect from the people who matter.

It makes me a little sad she's not included in some of the stories we hear about the postwar Gaang exploits, like Toph and Sokka's work in Republic City, or early clashes with the Red Lotus. She's the best waterbender in the world and you guys saved the world together as teenagers; it feels like she should've been riding shotgun on some of these missions. But I try to make peace with it on the grounds that if she's not out there hunting down terrorists, it's because she's tired, goddammit. She took down a dictatorship at 15. She's been ass-whooping fascists for longer than most characters in the show have been alive. Katara is too cool of a character for any lack of detail to make me think she wasn't doing stone cold shit well into her fifties.

[joannerowling]

do you think they'll ever go for another HP spinoff? Both Cursed Child and Fantastic Beasts received poor or mixed reviews at best and were not that popular (I don't think anyone has ever referenced them IRL in my experience) so I doubt they'll be trying another spinoff anytime soon. Perhaps after the HP show is over in a decade? I really hope not lol, I found both CC and FB incredibly uninteresting and basic (Ezra Miller and Johnny Depp really turned me off too lol) and I figure any other spin off would be just as disappointing.

I also think the terminally online fans going "No one wants this! we want a spinoff about the founders or marauders!" are so incredibly out of touch. the HP show everyone will watch, however no one would care about either of those except super duper HP fans. If I said "marauders" IRL I highly doubt anyone would even know what I'm referencing. Also why on earth would they take a gamble on a new show after CC and FB flopped? and these terminally online JKR haters complaining about the show and screaming for a Jegulus spinoff instead also hated and complained about CC and FB for the most part? it's such a bizarre reaction that is based exclusively in 'I hate jkr and want to complain' instead of any actual desires on their part IMO

Will there ever be another HP spinoff?

Short answer: probably not.

Long answer: they can only greenlight a project with JKR's approval, so it really all depends on her. She's clearly not interested in writing more original Potter books right now, but she's ok letting others play with the IP in various media and/or commercial forms (except novels; duh, she's not stupid), so long as her specific wishes on some topics are met. So far, pretty successfully:

Theatre : Cursed Child, while hated by a vocal minority of (essentially book) fans, is a commercial and critical hit, winning several awards and touring in multiple countries while playing non-stop on the West End.

Video Games : Obviously a quite successful format, from the popular smartphone mini-games to Hogwarts Legacy. Nobody cared that much about HL's story, its success came down to the fun of actually getting to explore Hogwarts, Hogsmeade, etc.

Park theme(s) : Very successful and not to be underestimated creativity-wise, between decors, costumes, ancilliary products, etc. Again, the appeal is immersion and exploration rather than rides.

Supplementary non-fiction material : The "Hogwarts Library" supplementary books deepening the universe's lore have always been hits, hence WB using them as a base to develop FB.

Fantastic Beasts movie series (and the whole "wizarding world" brand) : The big disappointment. It didn't start so bad, the first was a success and well received. The second was too complicated and lost the GP, but still made money; and the third was better received but not well enough to save it. Still, even Secrets was more of a flop than a bomb (it made back its Covid-inflated budget twice after all, not enough to make a profit but better than nothing).

At some point, if i'm a WB exec and i'm a little smart, i start to notice patterns:

Normie fans and GA don't want new "wizarding world" stories: they want an immersive experience. Movies are a bad format for that. You just can't cram too much stuff in a movie without shit becoming real expensive real fast.

Book fans hate everything new in general, even with Jo's involvement it's getting touchy after FB and CC. (I'm sure an original novel would work but even that's risky and she's not interested anyways.)

On the other hand, book fans also famously disliked the movies, so a new, more faithful adaptation might interest them. Normie fans and GA too: they already know the story, so it's accessible, and parents would love sharing it with their kids.

Sales show that people in general are definitely still massively attached to Harry Potter, so it's worth investing.

TV adaptations of books following disappointing movies have been pretty successful recently: BBC/HBO's HDM, Netflix's Series of Unfortunate Events, etc.

TV's not a bad format for immersive story-telling. Not the best, but you have more screen time and it's usually cheaper to produce than films and more character driven, meaning more opportunities to add details and play with them. Enough "new" elements to stand apart from the movies and excite fans, but no risk of messing with canon.

For WB, a remake is a great middle ground to work with JKR in spite of her controversies: she's involved, but not too involved, because the story isn't a new one. It's not like she's writing an original script for them, she's just consulting to make sure they're not messing up. And for Jo? Also greatly convenient! She gets to make money with minimal work. She's a very busy woman you see, and she's got expenses (those rape crisis centers aren't paying for themselves).

Conclusion : Spin-offs = bad, expensive ideas almost bound to fail, unless they were adaptations of a new, critically acclaimed original novel by JKR, which will not happen any time soon. Remake = safer, actually something people want to see (or could be persuaded to watch if initially unconvinced, for the hardcore movie fans). Movies are (kinda) out, shows are (still) in. Carpe Diem, etc.

Will there specifically ever be a Marauders spinoff?

With the disclaimer that i'm not JKR so i can't actually know that but: no. Never. Not even a remote possibility, won't ever happen in a thousand years.

[certifiedalbedoenthusiast]

I have crafted 2000 Woodland Dreams.

Around the time of Albedo's first rerun in 2021, I began a quest in Genshin: to craft the maximum possible quantity of his special dish, the Woodland Dream. Today, I finally hit 2000.

This has been around 2.5 years of daily fishing, milk and salt purchasing, butter crafting, and small lamp grass collecting. Never mind artifact grinding, this is the grind I had on my mind.

I was inspired by Youtuber Memorii, who crafted 1000 of Noelle's special dish for her birthday back in 2021. At first I thought I would just craft a hundred Woodland Dreams, which I figured was an impressive but manageable number. But, as I hit 100, I just wasn't satisfied. Why stop at 100 when the item limit is 2000? And so here we are today, 2.5 years later, with a full inventory of Woodland Dreams.

Fun stats, musing about optimised Woodland Dream production, and my attempt at cooking Woodland Dream in real life below the cut:

The Sunshine Sprat recipe uses 3 butter, 3 fish, 1 salt and 1 small lamp grass. Like any 3-star special dish, you have a 15% chance of crafting a Woodland Dream whenever you cook a Sunshine Sprat with Albedo. I was cooking Sunshine Sprats at a rate of around 100 per week, and while I didn't keep any exact records, we can use these facts to make some estimates.

I would have crafted roughly 13k Sunshine Sprats in total, over the course of around 133 weeks. 85% of those (around 11k) would have just turned out as regular Sunshine Sprat. Of course regular Sunshine Sprat has an item limit of 2000 too, which means I would have had to discard (consume) about 9k Sunshine Sprats in the process.

Crafting 13k Sunshine Sprats takes approximately:

40k butter

40k fish

13k salt, and

13k small lamp grass

I exclusively crafted butter from milk, as it was easier and cheaper to buy in bulk than directly buying butter. This means I would have bought around 80k milk, which cost me 7.2 million mora.

Fish can be gathered from the wild as well as purchased from various merchants around Teyvat. In the early days, I was very diligent about collecting fish in the wild, but towards the end I got a bit lazy and started buying fish more. Overall I bought roughly 10k fish, which is around 75 fish per week, and cost me around 2.2 million mora.

(Sidenote: I was using mora gained from expeditions exclusively for this Woodland Dream quest. This gives me a decent estimate of how much I spent on fish, since I can calculate how much mora I received from expeditions over 133 weeks, and my estimates for milk and salt costs are a bit more concrete.)

The other 30k fish were gathered from the wild. With the assistance of Kuki Shinobu and Yelan, who I discovered were very, very good at killing fish efficiently (helpful when you have high ping like me), the fish populations around Yujing Terrace, the western shore of Mingyun Village, and the Dawn Winery shoreline were absolutely decimated. There are many places to gather fish in Teyvat, and I didn't limit myself to these 3 spots, but these I found were the most convenient places.

(Klee, I found, was surprisingly not that good at killing fish. Her bombs are not very easy to aim properly, and the explosion AoE isn't that great.)

Salt cost me around 670k in total. Nothing more really to say about salt.

And finally, small lamp grass. I had an intensive teapot farm going, and grew nearly 2.5k small lamp grass. But the teapot farm could only give me 8 lamp grass every 3 days, so the bulk of lamp grass, the remaining 10.5k, was harvested from the wild. Whispering Woods and Wolvendom are good sources of lamp grass (17 and 19 lamp grasses respectively), and there are 4 west of Dawn Winery, which were also convenient to collect while I was fishing. Nahida was a blessing for easy lamp grass collection.

In total, I spent around 10.1 million mora on this quest. I don't want to try to calculate the actual number of hours I spent gathering fish and small lamp grass because that will make me cry.

This screen makes it totally worth it though.

I did take this quest at a pretty leisurely pace, admittedly, so just for fun, I thought I'd calculate how long it would take to craft 2000 Woodland Dreams at the most optimised pace. I'd say there are two cases, one where you have unlimited access to resources in co-op worlds, and one where you only have access to your world.

For the first case, you can assume unlimited fish and small lamp grass since these can be gathered from as many co-op worlds as necessary. The limiting factor ends up being butter. It takes 5 minutes to craft butter from milk, which means 288 butter can be crafted every day. (This takes 576 milk per day, which is not a problem, as 600 milk can be purchased daily across Teyvat as of version 4.2.) Additionally, 40 butter can be purchased weekly. Thus you can craft 96 Sunshine Sprats every day, plus an additional 13⅓ each week. This comes to about 685 Sunshine Sprats per week, and on average, 102.75 Woodland Dreams per week. Thus, it would take just over 19 weeks to craft 2000 Woodland Dreams at the most optimised pace possible, about 7x faster than it took me.

If you only have access to your own world, the limiting factor becomes small lamp grass. 77 lamp grass can be collected from the wild every 48 hours. Also, every 3 days, 8 lamp grass can be harvested from the teapot, and 5 bought from Flora. Thus, every 6 days, you can collect 257 lamp grass, and thus can craft 257 Sunshine Sprats every 6 days. On average, this gives you 38.55 Woodland Dreams every 6 days. Thus it would take you just over 44 weeks in total to craft 2000 Woodland Dreams at the most optimised pace when you only have access to your own world. This is about 3x faster than it took me.

But I was already getting quite tired of spending the measly few minutes needed every day to catch fish towards the end. I had no interest in doing it "more optimally" - it was a marathon rather than a sprint, to use a cliche.

Anyway to celebrate this historic moment, I cooked some Woodland Dream in real life. I followed the recipe in this video.

The fish used is barramundi fillet (which was the best size and shape out of all the fish at the local supermarket). I had just as much trouble drawing with the sauce as the guy in the video. But tastewise the dish turned out pretty good! The sauce especially was very nice (I slathered a lot more sauce on when I started eating). This is a dish I'd definitely make again, but I don't think I'd bother making it look fancy like this. So basically, I'd make regular old Sunshine Sprat in the future instead, which I suppose is fitting.

I shall now proclaim myself #1 Albedo Fan (culinary division) 🥇🎣

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

Why should I strive to accurately reflect your argument when you've refused to do the same with climate change? Ignoring all evidence of humans being capable of affecting their environment and dismissively referring to it as "controlling the weather" which is not close to anyone's argument. The problem isn't me not repeating your argument the problem is you don't like people treating you the same way as you treat others.

Except you guys think that you can literally control the weather if we just tax enough billionaires, regulate enough energy industries, and give up enough freedoms. If the goal is to reduce global carbon emissions, not a single proposed plan to "fight climate change" would do that because they all ignore China and India, which are by far the largest producers of artificial carbon in the world. Even if the west turned off every coal plant and banned carbon production tomorrow, China and India would still be putting out way more carbon than we reduced, to the point where reducing our "carbon footprint" is meaningless. What these plans do accomplish, though, is restricting our freedoms and granting government greater control over the lives of individuals and what's left of the free market. None of the people pushing this climate narrative seem very interested in actually fighting the supposed source of "climate change", so why should I take them seriously?

Humans do affect the environment. I never said otherwise. That's your strawman. My argument is that, if the climate is changing, then human activity is not the main cause. And that's a pretty big if, since your side loves to claim that any weather is evidence of "climate change". One hurricane goes farther north than most hurricanes do? Climate change! Normal amount of hurricanes during hurricane season? Climate change! Indian summer? Climate change! Blizzard in winter? Climate change! Forest fires in a dry, brush covered forest that was started by a human? Climate change! Christ, you people even blame civil wars and riots on climate change. Combine all that with the fact that literally every single climate apocalypse that has ever been predicted, many using the same climate models "scientists" rely on today for their predictions, has never come true, and yeah, I don't believe "the experts" or their manipulated data when they say "No, this time we're totally right you guys. Climate apocalypse is right around the corner!" Climate cultists, because you people do act like a cult, are doing their own supposed cause no favors by acting like hysterical children who keep saying the sky is gonna fall any day now.

I'll make the same deal with you that I've made with other climate weirdos. You live your life like the world is going to end any year now, and I'll live my life like it's not. In 50 years, we can meet up and see which one of us was right and which one of us enjoyed their life more. Maybe on one of the coasts that won't be even remotely close to being underwater.

[myloveforhergoeson]

A Periodically Punk exclusive - The first look inside Brand New Day's debut album Barely Hanging On:

Periodically Punk gives readers an exclusive peek into the explosive first album by the Duluth, Minnesota pop punk powerhouse that is Magnus McAllister and Dani Huron.

Written by: Ariella Nichols // January 8th, 2010

(covers highly inspired by @partiallypearl !!)

"It wasn't easy," Shares lead singer and guitarist Magnus, or Mag as he prefers to be called, shared as he and his partner, Dani, sat down with me, Ariella Nichols, a few days before their debut album Barely Hanging On was set to be released. "We were playing shows almost every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday if we could."

"Anywhere from basements, garages, coffee shops, and the county fair that one time," Drummer Dani added in, running a hand through their long, black hair. "It's crazy to think that a chance meeting in the hallways of Twin Pines High School would have led to all this."

Palms to the ceiling, Dani gestures to the lounge of their new musical home, Galactic Records located in West Hollywood. The scenery change is much different from that of their hometown, Duluth, Minnesota, where these two traded snow for skyscrapers and trees for traffic.

At Dani's words, the corners of Mag's lips curl for just a moment. Don't let their dark clothes and heavy guitar fool you - These two are quite the emotional pair, with the majority of the songs on this album being about the challenges of young love, coupled with a yearning for stardom.

"Sometimes you just know someone is meant to be in your life," Mag states, unwavering confidence in his tone. "I'd never be sitting here if not for this perfect person right here."

Dani rolls their eyes, "Mag's just dramatic - Being in a band is a team effort. Along with our hard work and dedication to our craft, so many things happening along with the start of our band happened by coincidence, you know?"

"Like, we didn't even know the Minnesota battle of the bands was coming up at the beginning of last year. We'd just been through a major shake up, and while we were out discussing how that would affect Brand New Day, we saw the sign in the window of our favorite local coffee shop." Mag adds, not missing a beat. It seems like they've discovered the secrets to mind reading before the rest of us....

Nodding, Dani continued, "We didn't even enter thinking we'd win... We just thought of it as stage practice. So imagine our surprise when we're holding the trophy at the end of the competition, and have three days to pack our bag before going on a nationwide tour and opening for Oxford Commas."

"And the rest is history - Now we've got a sick record deal and an amazing production team helping to make our dreams come true." The frontman closed the tale out with a bright white smile. Watch out Hollywood, Mag McAllister is quite the charmer!

After they'd said their piece, I had a few questions of my own to ask.

Q: Were you expecting such a viral reaction to your first single "Turn It Up?"

D: Not in the slightest - It almost came on too quickly for my liking.

M: The dudes in Oxford Comma were super cool about helping us adjust to the new attention. We're just grateful to get any airplay time on the radio... So to come to expect the fanfare and celebration when we release something has been quite an adjustment.

Q: So by the time "colored in blue" and "With You Around" went even more viral than "Turn It Up" you were prepared? It sure seemed that way when Mag played his first show with that blue guitar after the single's release...

Mag's eyes went wide and he ran a hand through his hair before clearing his throat and answering:

M: It's still something we're getting used to for sure! The blue guitar was just a coincidence though. Now, we're learning all about the wonders of using social media to curate a brand, instead of just trying to advertise to forty people back home which basement we were playing in next.

D: Call me crazy but I think it's going to take me far longer than him to get used to... Only time will tell.

Q: What's been the best part of your newfound fame?

M: *Laughter* Easy! Getting to connect with the people who love what we do. It's not possible without all of you!

D: I've loved having a platform to share some of my ideals on. It was hard getting a group of people to come peacefully protest in St. Paul, or even just down the main street in Duluth. Having this platform now makes it easier to talk about what really matters. Do you know how much easier it is to get grassroots organizations off the ground now? It would blow your mind...

M: What's a little pop punk without the "punk" am I right?

Q: Many themes on your album seem to come from a place of pining and self-doubt. Has that been easier or harder to deal with now that you know so many people can relate?

The two looked between themselves for a moment before answering this one.

D: That's more Mag's department. I'm mostly involved in the music and production of the songs more than the words.

With a nod, Mag wound his hands together before taking a deep sigh.

M: It's hard to feel like no one understands you, especially when it's someone you care about. Being able to incorporate that into our music has been a gigantic help to me, personally, and it's been so wonderful to know it's helping others as well.

Q: Of course! And you know we've got to ask, now that this album is out in the world, does the person these songs are written about finally understand how you feel?

D: *Laughter* Answer carefully, dude, you've got the potential to break a lot of hearts right now...

M: I don't think I'm ready to soul-bear anymore tonight, if I'm being honest. Let's just say we understand each other a lot better than we did before.

Q: And, last one before I let you go - Looking back at your journey now, is there anything you would have done differently if you could.

D: Of course-

M: Dani! Don't joke around like that! Everything is exactly as it should be. We're living the dream, connecting with people we love, and sharing our music with the world. There's nothing we should or could have done differently!

Be sure to pick up a copy of Brand New Day's first album Barely Hanging On at a record store near you!

[mask131]

So you want to know about Oz! (4)

Now that we got the topic of the Oz books out of the way, let's talk about... The MGM musical! The 1939 movie "The Wizard of Oz"!

Or rather, let's NOT talk about it. Let's talk about... its alternate continuity.

"Alternate continuity" or "alternate Oz" are terms cherished by Oz fans and scholars, because they allow one to navigate through the maze of Oz adaptations.

I don't want to talk here about the MGM movie per se, because A) there's way too much to say and B) everybody knows it or saw it, so I don't need to explain what it is as thoroughly. But I want to insist on a specific and given point... The 1939 musical COMPLETELY changed the game.

It is an adaptation of "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz", yes. And it is the most famous and acclaimed Oz adaptations that ever was - to the point it is a landmark of American cinema, and a key part of American popular culture. But, and here's the important part: it is also not at all a faithful adaptation of Baum's novel. It is a very loose adaptation that omitted, reinvented and added MANY, many things - and the problem is that, since the movie is much more famous and well-known than the original novel, it created its own "alternate continuity" of Oz works, completely dissociated from the original novels by Baum (and other authors). These are two different worlds, that start from the same story-point but diverge in many, many ways.

In this post, I want to look at all the works, movies and adaptations that present themselves as prequel or sequels to the MGM movie, and that build together this "alternate Oz continuity" that is the 1939 continuity.

How do you recognize these works, and separate them from the ones more aligned with the old novels? Simple! All you need is to look out for key details that were introduced by the MGM musical!

The Wicked Witch of the West is considered the supreme evil of Oz, and is depicted as having a green skin and being clad in black.

There is only one Good Witch, Glinda Good Witch of the North.

The magical slippers are Ruby Slippers, not Silver Slippers.

Insistence on Oz being a "dream lord" paralleling the real-world

The Wicked Witches are sisters, and not just unrelated allies in wickedness

And other details of the sort. Alright! Ready? Let's go!

Let me begin with something a bit obscure... The 1990 cartoon "The Wizard of Oz".

In 1990, a Wizard of Oz cartoon started airing on television. This animated series proposed itself as the direct sequel to the MGM movie. Dorothy, still with the ruby slippers, returned to the Land of Oz, called by Glinda due to new troubles brewing in Oz: the Wicked Witch of the West was resurrected. The series is mostly about the group of heroes travelling through Oz, encoutering various Oz folks (purely invented for the series) and defeating the various schemes of the Wicked Witch, while trying to catch up with the Wizard of Oz, whose hot air balloon is tormented by the West Wind...

Unfortunately, due to poor ratings, the series was never renewed beyond its first season. Even worse, it just... kind of stopped mid-season. 13 episodes were created (I am not even sure all were aired?) and... the show just stops. No conclusion, no ending, it just stops. Sometimes, the two-part opening episode "The Rescue of the Emerald City" is edited as one short animated movie.

Much more famous: the Disney movie "Return to Oz", from 1985. One of thes "obscure Disney movies", one of those "weird fantasy sequels", one of those "dark 80s children movies"... There's multiple reasons why this piece became a cult-classic today.

It is most notably one of the many instances of Disney trying to create an Oz product in line with the MGM movie, despite not having the rights to do so, and thus playing around with the public domain of the Oz novels. This movie presents itself as a sort-of-sequel to the MGM movie (sort-of because, since they couldn't make an actual sequel, they have things that do not match - like Dorothy's new appearance - and things that do match - the slippers are ruby). In terms of inspiration, it is mostly a retelling of the third Oz novel, "Ozma of Oz", but with various elements taken from the second Oz novel "The Marvelous Land of Oz". For example, one of the villains of the movie is Mombi, the witch from "The Marvelous Land of Oz", but her behavior and appearance are those of Princess Langwidere, a secondary antagonist of "Ozma of Oz".

Another famous attempt by Disney at gaining their ground on the MGM-Oz domain is this movie:

2013's "Oz: The Great and Powerful". Meant to be a prequel to the MGM Wizard of Oz (but stll placing itself in its own continuity, since it couldn't be an ACTUAL prequel), it tells the story of how Oscar (the Wizard) arrived in Oz, and how the power-struggle between the three Ozian witches put itself in place. And it was... it was not a great success. In term of Oz adaptations it is recognized today to be between "mid" and "failure". (It is still VERY pretty though)

Speaking of Oz failures...

Do you remember THIS movie? "Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return"? Oh that's one messy story...

"Dorothy's Return" (2013) was an animated movie adapting one of the novels written by Roger S. Baum, L. Frank Baum's great-grandson, called "Dorothy of Oz" (1989). And it did... VERY poorly, despite the huge amount of money and advertisement put in it. But you know what's even funnier? Why does the movie has such a long title? Because "Legends of Oz" was actually a HUGE franchise project. There was this plan to create a big line of animated movies and derived products, of which "Dorothy's Return" would have been just the first step. The movie came out, did poorly... and the entire franchise was canceled. But not without a lawsuit being opened for the shady practices and financial ruins behind this project... Yeah it is QUITE a story!

Still within the domain of modern Oz movies people do not particularly like...

The Tom and Jerry Oz movies!

These animated pieces are part of the modern trend of putting Tom and Jerry in famous movies (there is also the very unfamous Tom and Jerry + Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory movie). The first movie, "Tom and Jerry and the Wizard of Oz" was basically just Tom and Jerry being present during the MGM movie. And... that was it. Oh yes, they did include the Jitterbug deleted scene but you know. It was just that.

Less known is this movie's direct sequel, "Tom and Jerry Back to Oz". It was less talked about than the first one, despite being at least more original! It is notably a loose adaptation of the third Oz novel, "Ozma of Oz".

More successful and beloved: 2017's "Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz".

Just like the 1990s series, it is a children cartoon presenting itself as a direct sequel to the MGM movie, but unlike the 1990s series it was HUGELY successful. It aired for three full seasons, and while it is placed within the MGM continuity, it notably modifies several details so kids could be able to get into the story more (Dorothy is a little girl, the Wicked Witch is replaced by her daughter), and sprinkles several elements from the novels (Ozma, queen of Oz, is a recurring character). It is mostly a... I'll say "slice-of-life" type of show, about Dorothy and her friends just... living in Oz, solving problems if they are, avoiding the various schemes of the Wicked Witch's daughter.

Now that we looked at all the most "recent" incarnations, let's take a look at an older classic: 1972's Journey Back to Oz.

This animated movie is a loose adaptation of the second Oz novel, "The Marvelous Land of Oz", but presented as a sequel to the MGM movie. Tip is replaced by an MGM-looking Dorothy as the protagonist, Mombi is depicted as a green-skinned witch and the cousin of the deceased Wicked Witches of The Wizard of Oz, and Dorothy's voice is provided by Liza Minnelli, the daughter of Judy Garland.

And to conclude it all a movie that... nobody seems to have noticed upon its release?

2000's Lion of Oz. An animated musical movie for children, adapted from Roger S. Baum's novel (yes, still him) "The Lion of Oz and the Badge of Courage" (1995) ; but still placing itself, by the characters' design, under the legacy of the MGM movie.

This movie presents the backstory of the Cowardly Lion, who, as it turns out, was a lion Oscar Diggs brought with him to Oz, and who, before meeting Dorothy, underwent a quest to fight the nefarious plans of the Wicked Witch of the East...

[elbiotipo]

Someone in the notes on your post about food in fantasy mentioned connection between at least early modern production of sugar and colonialism and slavery, and while I 100% agree that it's something that should be known, I think that if you want to have lighthearted fantasy setting there are definitely ways to work around this.

Like sugar is also produced from sugar beet. I don't know could it be done without modern equipment (production started at the very end of 18th century so while industrial equipment was primitive it was), but like you may do something with it, like some wizards developing production technology.

In the same vein, crop exchange in the Old World was mostly peaceful, or at least it wasn't due to slavery. Like rice was already grown in Egypt in 1000 BCE and made its way to Spain by 7th century CE. Bananas were grown in Turkey by 15th century CE. And tons of agricultural goods come from West Asia both ways. What I am trying to say is that if your world has equivalent of Americas your Europeans* could have just acquired potatoes and corn without colonization (because they were more ethical than irl or because they didn't have resources for conquest or because American nations were strong enough to stop them). Like potatoes and such are just crops, sailors could have picked them as a supplies and then someone decided to grow them at home.

This is like a suggestion specifically if you want to have a world for costume drama without dealing with heavy themes. I would suggest describing it specifically to point that out, and I can't say that it's very politically aware but definitely not worse than "they just have it" or "yes there are overseas colonies but pay it no mind".

*Because that's usually the case in examples that are discussed, from what I heard East Asian fantasy set in East Asia also suffers from this for the same reason, but I didn't read enough of it to say

Let me say you make real good points and I broadly agree with you. I do think the history of colonialism and where our foods came from is important (I do research that so no doubt). And I also agree that sometimes, those themes are too difficult to board properly, especially in a lighthearted story.

However, in fiction, it's not so much that I want people to do more "clean" ways of getting those crops. Many people told me "well, what if they get it through trade, or what if they got it through magical portals and such" my point is not that you find a "colonialist free" way to have potatoes in your setting, my point is that every crop in real life has a history behind them, and when you place them in your setting, I think you should consider that. Not only because you will learn about real life and its history, but also because of the storytelling potential.

I mean, I do have "worldbuilding fundamentalist" in my bio, and I think even if you don't sketch the entire world, you should at least know where your heroes are. Much of modern fantasy loves to adopt the "medieval" aesthetic, while in fact presenting a world with widespread trade, urbanization, a growing artisan class, etc. (I've done a longer rant about it here). Those things aren't just aesthetic choices, they are different societies that have different dynamics and they do affect the kind of plots and characters you might make on them.

I don't think fantasy should shy away from exploring themes such as imperialism and colonialism, trade and politics, intercultural contact and social change. One reason why I'm so insistent with the theme of crops and trade is that it's because it's emblematic of those issues. Sure, you don't want to explain the potatoes or chocolate in your setting, whatever. Don't you WANT to, though? Don't you want to explore beyond the pseudo-medieval aesthetic, and explore what an American or African -inspired setting might look like? Of course, you could and should also make your own new settings, but exploring actual history, geography, biology (at the broadest term, natural history) will make you a better worldbuilder and a better writer, AND also let you learn more about the world.

Sorry if this rant is a bit unfocused, just woke up from a nap after some wine, but this is why I'm so insistent with the stories that can arise just by considering the crops in your setting. Imagine what else can you write.

[kristinamae093]

Ghosted

Ghosted - I Finally See (Chapter Six)

Series Summary - Prince Liam fell for Riley Brooks hard and fast. A marriage filled with love and devotion was within his reach. But everything changed when she vanished just before the end of the social season. As everyone voices their concerns regarding her scandalous departure, a confession from an unlikely source turns Liam's world upside down and makes him question everything around him.

Book/Pairing - TRR - Liam x MC (Riley Brooks)

A/N1 - This AU starts right before the beginning of the engagement tour. There is a two-month lapse between the coronation and where we pick up, but we will stray from canon. Please excuse any errors found.

A/N2 - Huuuuuuugest of shout outs to @ao719, who helped me tweak this mood board a little bit (twice 🤣🥹😘)

Characters belong to Pixelberry

Rhonda led the three of them along the path to the west grounds. At one point, that is where all major events were held in Applewood. However, over the years, the Royal family decided it was best to move all festivities to the front of the estate, as it was bigger in acres and much closer to the main building.  

The area was then practically forgotten about. There was housing for some of the staff, a couple of sheds, and a few stray apple trees, but nothing else. Liam hadn't been on the west grounds specifically since he was a child and would play hide and seek with Leo out there. He always found the best spots to hide, Leo practically never found him. 

They followed until Rhonda stopped at an older, weathered shed toward the edge of the estate property. It appeared to be practically abandoned; the paint was chipping off the sides and the roof missed several shingles. It looked like a scene from a horror movie, and Liam felt his skin turn cold and raise with goosebumps as they approached the structure. 

Rhonda turned to face them. "This is the one..."

"Don't you dare go anywhere? Do you understand me?" Liam growled. 

Rhonda didn't say a word but nodded her head rapidly. She took a few steps away but stood where they could see her even after they entered the structure. 

Olivia glanced down and saw a padlock securing the doors closed. She reached out and grabbed it. "A lock? Seems like someone doesn't want us to find what's in there." 

"How are we gonna get it open?" Drake asked. 

Olivia laughed before she responded, "Oh, don’t you worry about that, you simpleton." and pulled a small dagger out of her sleeve. She leaned forward and started working the blade into the keyhole.

After a couple of minutes, Drake grew restless. "I know this may come as a surprise to you, but not everything is solved with knives." He huffed. 

Just as the words left his mouth, Olivia stood and turned to face him with a smirk on her face, lock in hand. "You were saying?" Drake shook his head and muttered a few obscenities under his breath. 

The trio stood and stared at the doors for what felt like an eternity; nobody wanted to make that first move. After so long with so many unanswered questions, the anxiety of what could lie ahead was felt heavily by all three. 

Finally, Olivia reached for the door and swung it open. They were indeed looking at all of Riley's stuff; all her clothes, hygiene products, knick-knacks, everything was piled directly in front of them. Olivia entered first and started searching for anything of relevance. Drake followed close behind, but Liam remained cemented in place with his mouth agape. 

Liam convinced himself that Riley intentionally left because she took all of her belongings with her. To him, that meant her departure was premeditated; she had to have thought enough in advance to have her things packed so she could make her escape. 

But as Liam stood in front of the open shed, he confirmed the gut feeling he had been ignoring all along was validated. Any and every bit of resolve he had left crumpled as he took those first steps into the structure before him. 

Liam entered slowly and looked around. He stopped when he saw Riley’s ceramic cardinal and picked it up. She said it reminded her of her grandfather who had passed away, so having it meant he was exploring new horizons with her. She had the trinket in her pocket during the Regatta, Liam recalled her telling him her grandfather had a love of boats, so she had to bring it with her for the day. He held it in his hands for a moment before he gently squeezed it, and placed it back where he found it. 

Liam continued his search and stumbled upon her tortilla blanket; he smiled as he picked it up and held it to his nose to inhale a deep breath. He hadn’t understood why Riley had such a random item, but he didn’t dare question her. The one time he saw her wrapped up in it was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. 

Liam went to her door early one morning to escort her to breakfast, however, Riley wasn't expecting him. He knew it wasn't proper, but he couldn't help himself; he wanted to spend any and every spare second he had with her. 

When Riley answered the door, she was wrapped in her blanket with her glasses sliding down her nose; her hair sat piled on the top of her head in a messy bun, although it appeared to have shifted more to the side during her slumber. The smile she gave as her cheeks flushed completely stunned Liam where he stood. She looked immaculate in all the ball gowns with her makeup and hair perfectly done, but she had never been more beautiful to him than at that moment.

Liam shook his head in an attempt to steady himself but could feel his eyes burn with unshed tears. He quickly put the blanket down where he found it and continued. 

As Liam resumed his trek, he stumbled upon a book or binder of some sort. The front and back surfaces were completely covered in different multicolored stickers. He opened it and realized it was not a binder, but a photo album. 

Liam looked through the pictures with trembling hands. He saw photos of Riley as a baby with her parents, holidays, birthdays, sports, prom; practically her entire life in images. Toward the end, he found laminated funeral programs for family members Riley had lost. 

Liam closed the album and wiped the tears from his cheeks that had unwillingly fallen. He knew Riley was a very sentimental person and would not have left this stuff behind purposefully. These things meant the world to Riley; her most cherished possessions, the things she was most proud of. It was one of the things that made Liam fall in love with her; in his world, all everyone cared about was power and prestige, but she cared about moments and making memories. He knew without a shadow of a doubt, she would not have left these things behind of her own volition. 

Liam began to feel insurmountable rage, but couldn't ignore the all-consuming guilt that engulfed his conscience for turning a blind eye; especially knowing she could have been hurt before she left, or, that could have been why she left. More than that, he hadn't believed in Riley the way his friends did. He needed to be convinced to believe in her. 

Drake had been observing Liam look through the photo album. In their many years together, he thought he had seen Liam at his lowest, but the man Drake was looking at now was unrecognizable; the defeat and guilt he felt were clear as day. When Drake saw him wipe his cheeks, his heart broke even more for his friend than it had been the past two months. 

Drake approached Liam and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Liam…" He softly spoke. 

Liam sniffed. "What for? I should be thanking you. Without your persistence, I never would have opened my eyes…" He trailed off and shook his head as more tears unwillingly fell. 

"Don't do that, Liam." Liam looked at Drake with a confused expression. "I can see it written all over your face. You're feeling guilty. You can't do that to yourself, man. I know it's hard, but you have to look forward. Don't dwell on what's already happened."

Liam scoffed. "That's easy for you to say. You didn't need to be convinced to believe in her. You didn't turn your back on her like I did..."

"If I was in your shoes I probably would have reacted the same way. You thought she abandoned you! I'd be devastated too! Then to see her in the tabloids two days later, I'd've been fucking livid! You might be a King, but first and foremost you're a man. You are allowed to make mistakes!" Drake emphasized. 

"But this isn't just any mistake! This is the love of my life, and I didn't see through this sooner?"

Drake sighed. "When me and Olivia told Max, she had to bring us back because we were doing the same shit you're doing right now." He shook his head. "I know it's hard, but you can't dwell on what you did or didn't do back then. We won't get anything solved that way. We gotta focus on what we do now."

Liam shook his head. "I just can't believe this is happening…"

"I know. It's a lot to take in. But I'm glad you're with us now." Drake smiled. 

"I swear to you, I will not rest until I find the truth. Someone is going to answer for this," Liam responded with a determined expression. 

Drake embraced Liam, "I know." and patted him on the back. 

"Thank you for being a great friend, Drake. I’d like to apologize for losing my temper with you earlier." Liam said as he returned the embrace. 

"Don't worry 'bout it. I'm just so fuckin' happy you're finally listening to yourself." Drake spoke as he stepped away. 

“Guys?” Olivia’s voice rang out from the other side of the shed, where they had not ventured to yet. 

Drake and Liam approached her and noticed her troubled expression. She was crouched on the ground as she searched through a tote that was filled with Riley's things. Olivia stood and held a black trash bag in her hands. She reached in and pulled out a balled-up piece of fabric, carefully unfolded it, and spread it open wide for Liam and Drake to see. 

Liam took the fabric from her hands. He realized he was holding a dress, but it was ripped and torn in multiple places. Some portions dangled, others completely detached. He knew he recognized it, but couldn't precisely place where he had seen it. 

The dress was white with a pink flower pattern, about mid-thigh length. It had ruffles at the bottom and a silky heart neckline at the top, which is where the tears appeared to be more prominent as well as the fabric being noticeably stretched out. The midsection had a brown leather belt sewn into its design, but portions of that had been shredded as well. 

Olivia noticed a specific area of the dress that was stuck together. She tentatively reached her hand out and grabbed the fabric and pulled, which separated the garment and revealed a large reddish-brown stain. It covered a portion of the back just above the ribs, and small spots on other areas of the dress. She reached out and lightly ran her finger over the large spot and felt that the surface was dry and hardened.

She grabbed the dress from Liam’s hands and spun it around to show him and Drake, both of their eyes widening within seconds. 

As Liam stood and stared at the back of what was left of the dress, his heart suddenly plummeted to the depths of his stomach as he realized where he recognized it from. “That’s…” He swallowed thickly. “that’s the dress she was wearing… at the jamboree…” He whispered. 

Drake bent down and picked up the bag. He opened it and saw other small pieces of the dress and even the stockings she had worn with it that night. He closed the bag and handed it to Liam with a heartbroken expression. 

Liam took the bag from Drake’s hands and peeked inside. He already knew what was in there, but looking confirmed it. Although they were unsure as to whose blood was on the dress, they could only conclude it was Riley's. 

Liam suddenly realized the maid who led them there, Rhonda, was still outside. He snatched the dress from Olivia’s hands and threw it into the bag. He turned and strode with deadly intent to where she stood outside the shed. 

Liam practically threw the bag at Rhonda, “Have you ever seen this?” He growled. 

She looked into the bag with wide eyes, “I– I– ” she stammered.

“ANSWER ME!" Liam yelled as he once again stood over the much smaller woman. 

"I– I found it on the floor. I don't know where it came from! All I did was throw it into the bag!" 

"So you find a bloodied dress, and instead of immediately reporting it to someone, anyone, you just throw it into a bag like it's nothing?!" 

Rhonda frantically shook her head. "I didn't know-" 

"BULLSHIT! It's blood! Do you really need a fucking technical course to tell you to use your brain?!" Liam yelled. 

Bastien heard Liam from his position a little ways away, and quickly rounded the corner and approached him with a curious expression. "Is there a problem here, sir?" 

"YES, there's a problem here! Look inside there, do you see that?!" Liam hollered without once breaking his attention away from the woman in front of him.  

Bastien glanced past Drake to the shed behind him. He briefly met eyes with Olivia, who remained inside searching. She arched her brow as she met his gaze, but he quickly turned back to Liam.  "What would you like me to do, sir?"

"She knows something…" Liam growled as he stalked toward the woman little by little. 

Liam stood to his entire height and squared his shoulders. He looked down at Rhonda over his nose; he puffed his chest out, only slightly, but enough to project his dominance over her. “I am giving you one last opportunity to tell me the truth. Failure to do so will result in you being placed in the custody of the Cordonian Royal Guard until you feel it’s acceptable to tell your King the truth.” He demanded in an authoritative voice.

Rhonda audibly inhaled a sharp breath, almost as if she had been hit in the gut. Her eyes welled with tears as she held her trembling hands together. “Your Majesty I swear to you on my children’s lives I know nothing else!” She dropped to her knees in front of him. “Please don’t take me from my kids! Please! I’ve told you everything I know! I'm so sorry I never said anything! P–please!” She cried as she lost herself in a fit of hysterics. 

Liam stood over Rhonda while she sobbed, his mind reeling. He wanted to believe she knew more, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized whoever did this didn't let this lowly maid in on their master scheme; she was only a pawn. The likelihood of her knowing more than she had already told them was low, and she had given them the biggest lead yet in showing them where all of Riley's things were. 

Even though he remained enraged, Liam crouched down in front of the woman and spoke in the softest tone he could force. "I will not take you from your children. I apologize for making barbaric threats to you. However, I need to make sure there's nothing else that you could tell us about that night."

Rhonda sniffed. "N–no, sir. I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner but I was worried about getting in trouble for snooping because I need this job to support my kids and–"

Liam held up his hand to stop her rambling. "For future reference, if you believe a guest could have been injured you are to call my office immediately and report it to me. Am I clear?"

"Y–yes sir." 

"This is a delicate situation, and your utmost discretion is required. You can not tell anyone we were here, or searching Lady Riley's things. Do you understand?" Rhonda quickly nodded her head. Liam stood from his crouched position and reached down and extended a hand to help her stand. "You are free to go, but please, if you remember anything else or see something suspicious, call my office."

"Shall I escort her back to the estate, sir? I'd like to ask her a few questions as well." Bastien asked, his eyes never once leaving the maid.

"Of course, Bastien. Thank you."

As Bastien led Rhonda away, Olivia reemerged from the shed. She found something that piqued her interest; it was a long shot, but she hoped perhaps her sudden hunch could poke yet another hole in the ordeal. 

Olivia approached Liam, who stood beside Drake with his hands balled at his sides watching Bastien and the maid fade away. She cleared her throat and the two turned to face her; she handed Liam a blank envelope and said nothing. 

He opened it and quickly scammed its contents; it was a letter from Riley to her grandma. She had told Liam about her letters home because her grandma wasn't smart with technology and didn't have a cell phone, but Riley wanted to stay in contact. There was no date, although it had been signed at the end. The text held no relevant information, aside from Riley retelling certain portions of her time in Cordonia, the last being their trip to the ancient ruins. 

As he reached the bottom paragraph, he felt like his already dismembered heart was ripped from the confines of his chest and tossed onto the ground in front of him, leaving it for anyone and everyone to openly stomp on.

I really don't know if I would make a good Queen, but I know I can do anything with Liam by my side. He’s the most amazing person I've ever met and makes me feel like I could do anything, and I would do anything to be with him. It might seem fast, but I can feel it in the depths of my soul; he is my forever. 

Liam took a deep, shaky breath to keep himself calm. The guilt was piling up, but he refused to let that dam open, not now. Their next move had to be calculated and precise, and he was more determined than ever to find her and ensure her safety. "Why are you showing me this?" He quietly asked Olivia.  

"I can't confirm, because I didn't see the note that was left in her room, but I know both of you did. So I just wanted to ask, does the handwriting match?" 

Liam took another good look at the paper; the one left in her room was short, so there was hardly anything to compare. Looking at this script in his hands, a few things did stand out. 

"The s's are different, and the r's as well." Liam pointed to the paper. "On this, every single one has some kind of a swirl on it, not to mention its continuous cursive. The one left in her room was just plain print writing."

"And this one is signed Riley instead of R," Drake added.

"Do you still have that original letter?" Olivia asked. 

"I… don't." Liam looked away from them and rubbed the back of his neck. "I, uh… I couldn't stand to have it anymore. I told Bastien to dispose of it…."

Olivia arched her brow. "I take it you did the same with her phone?" Once again, Liam avoided eye contact but subtly nodded his head. She felt her irritation rise at Liam's stupid decisions while in his state of denial, but opted to keep her comments within; even though he was fighting to keep it hidden, Olivia could tell he was already feeling the effects of his refusal to see the truth. "Well, we should at least check with him and see if he still has them; we can compare the letters and see if there's a chance they match." She sighed.  "Other than that, what's our plan?" 

Liam was quiet for a long moment. His mind raced as he tried desperately to figure out where to go from here. They didn't have a lead as to who could have been responsible or any information regarding the scandal. The most evident thing to be found was the chilling revelation that someone hurt Riley in some way and a potentially falsified letter, otherwise, they had no solid leads. 

Liam ran his hand down his face before he responded, "To start, I'll ask Bastien if he happened to keep those things. Otherwise, we need to begin a search for Tariq and Riley. Since the person in that photo you showed me can't be identified, they're the only two who know what actually happened. I'll have Bastien begin at once."

"The time I spent investigating by myself I tried to locate Tariq to question him, but he's gone." 

"I'll have Bastien double-check, just to make sure he hasn't gotten sloppy and left a trace somewhere."

"Are you thinking Tariq did all this?" Drake asked. 

"At this moment, no. We've known Tariq most of our lives and we all know he's not smart enough to do this." Drake and Olivia nodded their heads in agreement. “I have a feeling he could have been used in achieving someone else’s agenda, but as to who could be responsible, I don’t have a clue.” 

"What do you think their ultimate plan was?"

Olivia snickered. "I shouldn’t be surprised you can't figure it out, considering your brain is the size of a walnut." 

"Oh yeah? Enlighten us."

"Gladly," Olivia smirked. "Liam clearly wanted to pick Riley, that was no secret. Since Liam and I have been friends since we were children, I was obviously the second choice." She rolled her eyes but continued. "So whoever this person is formulated a plan to eliminate the two of us, leaving only Madeleine."

"There were other suitors." Drake retorted. 

"Oh, please." Olivia scoffed.  "Madeleine was technically the most prepared beforehand, the others weren't even in the contest." 

"But why go through all this, though?" Drake motioned to the shed. 

"I don't actually have any idea why her things are stored here, yet. Otherwise, I can only assume they wanted to push the idea that Riley left to be with Tariq. First, remove her from the situation. Next, let Liam sit and stew for a few days contemplating why she left. Lastly, release a scandal; let everyone assume she was a harlot being swept away by another."

"And I played right into it, just like they knew I would," Liam growled as he shook his head. "It was important they cemented the theory because whoever did this knew I would continue looking for her without the scandal. They needed to give me a reason to abandon that search, despite all the signs, and I did…"  Liam looked away and forcefully tensed his jaw. 

"I could be wrong, Liam… We really don't know much, yet." Olivia said in a surprisingly tender voice. 

Liam sighed. "For now perhaps it's best if we lock this back up and reconvene after the Apple Banquet. That will give Bastien a day or so to start the search; we can see where we stand then?" 

Drake and Olivia nodded, but Drake needed to ask Liam a question that had popped into his mind whilst they searched the shed and wouldn't leave. "Hey, Li?" 

"Hm?" 

"...What about the tour?" 

Liam remained silent for a moment before he quietly answered. "I know it may not make sense to either of you, but the tour has to continue. First, I feel it will make investigating this easier. Clearly, something happened that night, but everything must go on as planned to avoid raising suspicion. Second…" He trailed off and looked away from Drake's curious gaze. "If we can't prove someone plotted to get Madeleine on the throne, I will have to go through with the wedding. There is nothing I can do about that, aside from abdicating." 

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Olivia howled with laughter, which earned her a steely glare from Liam and a curious one from Drake. "Liam, you're the fucking King. You act as if you answer to all these people, but they answer to you. You're the one calling the shots, not them! If you don't want to marry her, then don't."

"I wish it were that simple, Olivia, but it's not. I have to take a Queen! Stability, above all–"

"Oh, my God!" Olivia exclaimed. "Am I talking to fucking Constantine or Liam?" 

Liam could only stare at her with a stunned expression. Drake, however, had to hide his laugh with a cough; he had thought that same exact thing every time he heard Liam utter that statement.

Olivia continued. "I'm not trying to be insensitive, because I understand you want to do what's best for the country. But marrying Madeleine is not what's best for you or Cordonia." 

Liam remained silent. Drake stepped forward after a moment and placed a hand on Liam’s shoulder. "You don't have to decide right now, just think about it, okay?" 

Liam could only nod his head, as his mind refused to form a coherent sentence. After everything that had revealed itself that day, nothing made sense. He quickly dipped back inside the shed and grabbed Riley's blanket, cardinal, and photo album. Drake and Olivia gave him a curious glance as he emerged from the shed with the items, but he didn't care; he wanted to take these things with him so he could feel close to her again, and hopefully return them if he could ever find her. 

Olivia placed the bag with the dress back inside the tote where she found it and secured the lock back in place; she slipped Riley's letter into her pocket for safekeeping, hoping and praying Bastien kept the one left in her room to compare.

The trio made their way back to the main estate as the sun was setting on the horizon. All three's minds were overflowing with questions, assumptions, accusations, and a wide variety of scenarios, all of which revolved around one thing: what happened to Riley Brooks? 

Tags (If you'd like to be removed or added, just let me know): @choicesficwriterscreations @ao719 @txemrn @imashybish @queenrileyrose @emkay512 @kingliam2019 @riseandshinelittleblossom @dcbbw @tessa-liam @twinkleallnight  @amandablink @cordonia-gothqueen @sfb123 @jared2612 @harleybeaumont  @bebepac @charlotteg234 @busywoman  @malblk21 @angelasscribbles  @bascmve01 @iaminlovewithtrr @hopelessromanticmonie  @mysticalfangirl @umccall71  @fuckitweball0000 @differenttyphoonwerewolf  @lovingchoices14 @emersyn-in-cordonia  @aussiegurl1234 @karahalloway

[genericpuff]

Hey, I've worked a bit in animation and just wanted to point out that shows very often get pitched and bought out, and can sit in the back burner for a really long time depending on the market! Seems like with all the strikes and post covid lag, and a market thats already saturated with greek mythology atm (think percy jackson live action coming soon, youtube series, other webcomics, etc.), lore olympus is probably floating in the air atm until the time is right. These kinds of things can take years to happen, even 10+ years! Some of the most popular animated shows were pitched years before they were picked up and sent into production. Hoping in the time its on hold, they get some really good writers to clean up the story. I don't mean to disregard your post, but just a lil bit of info on how that nature works in animation. I love lore rekindled too, keep it up!

Oh hey thanks for your input! So I do actually have a diploma in animation (though I never ended up working in the larger industry) so I know a bit about how things like that can happen. Nimona's a great recent example, it was bought in 2015 by 20th Century Fox but never made it through development because of Disney purchasing them and bringing the project to a crawl due to it being LGBTQ+, then they shut down Blue Sky and that kept the project in limbo until it got picked up by a new studio and brought to Netflix. So it took well over 10 years for that one to finally hit the screen.

That said, most of that post is addressing the fact that if LO is going to get a TV show (I'm really strongly believing it isn't at this point, esp not with JHC but that's me) then stalling it out for 10 years or however long probably won't be the best move. Especially not with how things are going with animation at large.

While LO is the biggest on the WT platform, the platform itself still isn't as prestigious here in the west as say, DC or Marvel. Its platform and its comics just don't have that sort of longevity out here. LO is also undoubtedly nearing the end of its run and it's struggling to stay relevant as it is - so to make a show years down the road when it's long gone out of everyone's minds (which it will be as soon as it ends and WT starts shilling the next big thing) just sounds like a missed opportunity. It could rejuvenate interest, sure, but it could just as easily flop due to its fanbase having moved on/lost interest/etc. LO is pretty much reliant on WT's advertising at this point, it's not a good sign that WT has to keep putting notifications to read LO everywhere on the app. WT loooves the "strike while the iron is hot" methodology and now with the show they just drag it out? It feels less like striking the iron while it's hot and more like trying to get a fire going, period.

Like, when Nimona got its movie, it was like "omg Nimona's finally getting a movie!!!" but I can't help get the sense that if LO goes through that same treatment, the response is gonna be, "that gross comic with the underage girl and old man billionaire is still getting a TV show??" Maybe that's a mean assumption to make but if LO is struggling to stay relevant and in a positive light now, god knows what that's going to be like years from now if and when they do release a show.

Especially when it comes to comics like LO which generate so much criticism, I feel like it's going to go through the same thing Twilight did, where people adored it during the peak of its run but as soon as the series was over and the hype left everyone's brains it gave people room to actually reflect on it and realize how icky it was LOL (and if it goes the full way of Twilight, people will read it as a joke over how bad it is).

There are also theories in the community that a lot of what WT is doing with LO rn (paying for Rachel to be in the top billing spot at NYCC, getting her a second Eisner, etc.) could very well be them trying to "shop it around" for investors or a new network, by putting Rachel in the spotlight and going "see! look at how successful this comic is! buy it!" That's just a theory of course, but it really isn't a good look when LO wins awards and people ask why. It feels like WT's is trying to throw money at a problem without realizing what's causing the problem in the first place. It winning an Eisner or being hinted at a TV show or getting a top billing spot at NYCC won't give it legitimacy because the comic they're advertising is still garbage, they're trying to convince people it has merit when it doesn't. If anything, it'll make LO and WT lose even more credibility because it makes people wonder why the fuck a comic like LO is winning those awards and why it's being given more attention and opportunities over other comics on the platform that are far more deserving.

Anyways, this post is kinda all over the place, but that's my two cents, my point really is that if there is a show happening, it's definitely not happening soon (in spite of Rachel saying "yeah it's happening!") because there's no clear timeline or progress that's been made or even team in charge of it at this point - and if it happens down the road, its only chance of doing well will be if it gets a major overhaul in its writing IMO because the comic is way too much of a mess rn for television LOL

That said, I'd love to genuinely believe that the show will happen someday, but I feel like the best time for it to happen has passed, especially with the comic losing the quality and prestige it was sold to JHC for since then. That's just me though.

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

Top 10 Favorite Performances of "Music of the Night"

Honorable Mentions: Laird Mackintosh

I have an affinity for Laird that I can't quite explain. I love an understudy/alt/swing who's been with the production and just lingers for years and years (this is borne out in the rest of the list, as you'll see), I love that he started out in ballet, and I love how energetic he is. Though he falls short on the high notes, he plays the reaction to Christine fainting very well

Honorable Mentions: Dave Willetts

He's so smooth and creeping, and he's one of the especially good Phantoms who catches Christine before she falls (I'm a sucker for that, as will also be borne out in the rest of the list). He's been accused of "Copying" Michael Crawford, and I do see where that criticism is valid, but I think it's understandable given that he took up the mantle very early in the West End run.

Honorable Mentions: Cris Groenendaal

Cris is a really underrated Phantom. Another Alt/Understudy (who, like Laird, spent a lot of time in the role of M. Andre), I think he's got a wonderful power in his voice. His MotN is melodic and seductive. His pitfall is that he does tend to get a little bit nasal for my tastes.

Honorable Mentions: Ramin Karimloo

Honestly I think Ramin lands in most people's top tens. Certainly the 25th Anniversary at the Royal Albert Hall has made him on of the most ubiquitous Phantoms out there. Now, frankly, Ramin has taken a while to grow on me, and while my viewing of the 25th was the thing that pushed me to include him on this list, that performance is not the one that I chose to include here. Instead I went back, to his West End run. While I think Ramin's performance is a bit broad whenever he's actually in character, I do see what people mean about his emphasis on Erik's vulnerability. He does (with slightly less refinement) what I will later in this list praise Earl Carpenter for (and that's high praise from me, as you'll see). Still while I like Ramin's Erik a lot more now than I did, say, four months ago when all this brain-rot started, he's just not one that feels personal to me, which is why I hesitated to put him in the top ten proper.

10. Paul Stanley

I mean of course I'm fascinated by Paul Stanley's whole Phantom saga, so of course he's in here. He's far from the most technically proficient, he struggles with the high notes, but he really does a good job otherwise, and I have to admire his moxy.

09. Brent Barrett

Emphatic and sexy with compelling body language. So underrated.

08. Howard McGillin

Spectral, Resonant and controlled; a legend.

07. Hugh Panaro

Hugh is one of those that I feel like is a pre-requisite in a top ten list. My favorite thing is how he plays heavily on the phantom's fascination with Christine, and not solely on making her fascinated by him

06. Michael Crawford

Another prerequisite. He's ghostly, coaxing; the OG OG. The man who said, "No I want them to be able to see how lustfully he's touching her in the back row. I need to show more skin: make my sleeves shorter." This man understood the assignment and he set the tone and God bless him for it.

05. Anthony Warlow

The original Sydney Phantom, another beautifully strong, clear vocal quality. He has a very old-fashioned style of singing, I think which has a particular charm. If I had to name a fault it would be that he is quite theatrical, which I don't mind, though I tend to prefer an understated phantom. He never undersells a single line. I think his phantom is one of the most "hopeless romantic" interpretations. A particular standout for me is how he conveys that Christine's reluctance tries his patience, but he holds it together and his "touch me, trust me" is beautifully reassuring, while many phantoms choose to portray lust or longing in this moment, his is an appeal for understanding which is very attractive in its own way.

04. Ben Lewis

The power! The gravitas! Ben Lewis is truly one of the greatest blessings in PotO history and his high note? Off the charts. Also, since this is the whole first lair, I just want to say that this is one of my favorite versions of "Stranger than You Dreamt It" I've ever heard.

03. Ted Keegan

Refreshingly sharp and clean. I just love how powerful he is without being overpowering. He's strong, sensual and smooth. *sigh* ~,~ If only he caught her...

02. Earl Carpenter

So pleading, so gentle--holy hell I love Earl so much. Watch him show Erik's inner struggle with his desire for contact and his fear of his deformity throughout this entire scene! Watch him think to himself "Yes, let her touch you! Why shouldn't you?" And then lose his nerve at the last moment! I could go on for hours. Find me a sweeter Phantom. Go ahead.

01. John Owen-Jones

Without a doubt in my mind THE strongest vocal performer in this role. I just love to hear him booming out in his great, Welsh way. He strikes an exquisite balance between his acting and his singing. His vibe in general is amazing, like he really leans into the idea that he's been Christine's teacher as much as her muse. He has guided her through music and he wishes to be her guide into romance as well, and that manifests in every aspect of his performance. Such as the fact that he doesn't walk away from Christine for the second verse, so he's leaning close when he sings "Let your spirit start to soar" and almost always gestures with his hand over her diaphragm. If I'm completely honest, he's the only Phantom (except perhaps Michael Crawford or Gerard Butler) that I can actually imagine giving Christine singing lessons. So few actually inhabit this music obsessed weirdo like JOJ does.

He, perhaps the ultimate gentleman phantom, also catches and carries Christine before she falls. (Special shout out to my girl Gina Beck for also REALLY leaning in to the romanticism of the moment; she looks just so utterly in ecstasy through this whole sequence and that's exactly how I would want to play Christine).

I need to tack a caveat onto the end here:

Gerard Butler's Music of the Night is my actual, number one favorite rendition.

But I wanted this list to be stage versions only.

I think I can put my feelings on this most succinctly like this:

I love JOJ's confidence, his command and his sensuality

I love Earl's gentleness and vulnerability

I love Anthony's patience

I love Ted's crispness

I love Paul's humanity

I love Ben's power

Gerard Butler somehow manages to crystallize ALL of those elements and ramp them every one of them up to 11 with an added element of wholly smitten wonder at Christine that makes me so weak.

[silviakundera]

silvia's drama watching queue for 2024: a somewhat random assortment of stuff that was rec'd and for some reason feels it might scratch an itch

in progress - started & I swear I'm gonna finish

* Empresses in the Palace - I'M DOING IT BABYYYYY. 9 episodes down. Yes, the emperor looks like your grandpa and so far has the personality of stale toast. But as long as I don't imagine him naked (no, grandpa, no! it's time for your nap!) then it has this vibe of those Masterpiece Theatre productions I watched as a preteen and I already am recognizing tons of famous tropes (some elements of Job of Imperial Concubine already 3x funnier). Also I appreciate a horror story with a high body count and we have 3 victims already 👌

* Derailment - Modern cdrama that I know is great. I'm 3 ep in, just gotta be in the right mood

* Legend of Fei - Wuxia; got distracted halfway through last year but love the 2 lead actors. Not their best work but still.

* Fireworks of my Heart - what if china did a modern Persuasion adaption but he's a fireman and she's a nurse, basically. kinda. idk man, it has those same vibes for me. I like both lead actors (yes I'm on the YY Can Act Sometimes, When He Feels Like It defense squad. fight me). I'm like 1/3 of the way thru, need to be in that melancholy romantic wallow mood. But mmm I do love second chance + pining.

* Secret Romantic Guesthouse - a wild kdrama appears! Historical drama about saving your inn from debtors by finding a missing royal & turning him over to be murdered. you know, just girlboss things. 💁 Some mystery, some romance. I like the FL. Not much slapstick humor or people screaming at each other so far, which will make me tap out. 4 episodes in and it's quite watchable. I'll probably finish.

not started

* The Left Ear because why not? teens being realistically messy 👌

* Go Ahead - so this may sound strange but I've been holding back on this one a long time, until my work hours were less insane & I can focus. Universally beloved, one of the top cdramas. I'll sink my teeth into this Modern in 2024.

* The Blessed Girl cause it sounds like my jam

* Fake It Till You Make It - modern romance that I've seen rave reviews for. Pretty confident I'll love it.

* Gone with the Rain cause dangermousie's posts seduced me. Costume drama.

* West out of Yeman/Parallel World - multi-verse modern with a lil sci fi? I love multiverse and time travel \o/

* Wonderland of Love - historical romance with generals and some court intrigue, a happy ending. On paper, my kind of stuff. But will I make it thru 40 ep depends on how much I vibe with the otp

Maybe

Choice Husband (12 eps romantic comedy, then turns into blood and manipulation? sounds intriguing)

Moonlight - modern workplace drama, editor/author. Reviews are mixed but I have affection for how cdrama scriptwriters will obsessively research a topic in the style of an AO3 fic writer. I expect to learn more than I ever wanted to know about the toils of being an editor.

Marry My Husband - I don't watch many kdramas but I turn up for tropey reborn every time. If they deliver on the promise of a ridiculous but entertaining romance revenge then I'm there.